##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Report - May 10 1996 ----------------------------------------------- Hello again everybody, and welcome to today's IIWF Control Centre Report. We're just over one week away from our inaugural spectacular, IIWF Coronation Clash, and the tension is really beginning to build. I'm Tim Dross, and in today's report, I'll be bringing you: - comments from some of the superstars already signed to participate in Coronation Clash - more names entered into the 24-man single elimination tournament for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship - news on the other two titles here in IIWF and much more! So let's get straight to it: Trash Talk ~~~~~~~~~~ All roads lead to Coronation Clash for the IIWF athletes, and they're all getting pretty fired up about the tournament. Even the usually flamboyant "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare has become more serious-minded of late: [SCENE: A dimly lit IIWF Coliseum, workers can be seen in the background making last minute repairs, and hanging "Coronation Clash" banners. A figure is seen ringside, despite the trenchcoat and sunglasses, it is obviously "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare.] Billy: Same production, different stage. As I look about me, I see many performers, some new and foolish enough to be seeing stars, others older, wise enough to fear the spotlight. And, there is one who is following in my footsteps, hoping to grab some attention he doesn't deserve. The IIWF championship tourney: it is best said in Henry VI "Put forth thy hand, reach at the glorious gold" for indeed, "the play's the thing" and as it is written in Henry IV, the time has come to "Play out the play." But lo, while the venue has changed, the fans still know that when it's playtime, I'm 'Born to Perform'. [Fade] The Horsemen are similarly single-minded about what the tournament has in store for them. Let's hear from the Outlaw: [SCENE: A plush weight room, carpeted and air conditioned, with mirrors on the wall. In the background, Brad "Bodybag" Kinder easily and repeatedly bench presses 400 pounds of free weight. The Masked Outlaw steps in front of the camera, and speaks:] "Welcome to the 'Iron Den,' the home of The Horsemen. And I should say welcome to the IIWF, also the home of The Horsemen. The upcoming IIWF championship tournament will also belong to The Horsemen, because we have but one simple goal: to hold every belt in the IIWF and crush anyone who gets in our way. "Everywhere I've been during the last month, these whining fans ask why I joined The Horsemen. Look around, you fools. Look at the best equipment and trainers money can buy. We train hard, we destroy opponents, and then move on. Women want to be near us and men wish they could be us. Yes, The Outlaw has developed a bit of an attitude recently -- an attitude worthy of The Horsemen and the IIWF world heavyweight belt. "I've spent many years on the prairies. Bodybag is from the Arizona desert, himself. We know that a lone wolf can be defeated, but even an experienced hunter is hopeless against a hungry pack of wolves. When you challenge one Horsemen, you challenge us all. "Be afraid, fools, because this pack is hungry. The Horsemen will rule the IIWF." [Fade as Bodybag Kinder continues to bench press the weight in the background.] "Green Giant" Jack Haley also sent me a rather charming letter which he asked me to read out on air. It says: +-- Greetings from Jack Haley, The Green Giant. Hey everybody. Boy. The world of internet wrestling sure is turbulent. Two weeks in a federation and here I find myself somewhere totally different. Coach Severnson said it's probably a good move for me, and I agree. Good to see you here, Outlaw, Psycho and the rest from the last place. I'm looking forward to testing myself against the best in this league in the upcoming 24 man battle royale. Coach Severnson has me running with mason bricks to build my conditioning and stamina. This is gonna be great. Just glad to be here. Good luck to all. Jack Haley aka The Green Giant +-- But who will the gentle giant be up against at Coronation Clash? He won't be wishing his opponents luck then... Finally, let's take you to footage of a press conference held earlier next week with the Senator: [SCENE: As the camera fades from black we see a large American flag. After a few seconds it pans down and we see a man sitting at a large old wooden desk.] The Senator: Good evening ladies and gentleman, and all comers in the IIWF. I would like to introduce you to my boys. I have been in the sport of wrestling for a long time. When it was time for me to give up the wars in the ring I ran for public office, and as you can see I got elected to the Senate. Now I am disturbed by the happenings in the ranks of professional wrestling and wish to give back to the sport the glory it once had. So I present to you: Altair and High Velocity. [Camera moves left and a large man with a well formed body and a dark tan begins to speak:] Altair: Thank you Senator. I am taking time from my training to let the other wrestlers of the IIWF understand why I am here. I have been in many countries and held many championships, but my home is here in the USA, I will take you all to the maximum limits of your endurance and beyond. You will all feel as if the weight of the world is holding you back. But alas it is only me - Altair....... J.R. Metro: My friends, High Velocity will wreak havoc in the tag team ranks of the IIWF. We do have a goal here, but that remains for a later date to tell about. T. Rowe: My friend is right, We are the one of the most powerful and well trained teams thanks to The Senator and his experience. We know it will not be easy to win the Championships here in the IIWF, but it is going to be fun doing it. All you other teams better be prepared for High Velocity! [Camera pans to The American Flag and fades to black] IIWF Coronation Clash Update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Twenty-four men. One champion. Coronation Clash promises to be the most spectacular event in wrestling history! In my next update, I'll be bringing you the complete brackets for the tournament, but for now, let's run down the entrants in the 24-man single elimination tournament: 1. Altair (f) 2. Brad "Bodybag" Kinder (h) 3. Casey "Whitebread" Jones (f) 4. Dan "Flash" Kauffman (f) 5. Deathbringer (n) 6. Don Antonio (f) 7. El Lobo Negro (h) 8. "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko (f) 9. "Green Giant" Jack Haley (f) 10. The Outlaw (h) 11. Mr. Blu Tone (f) 12. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare (f) 13. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec (h) 14. Subway Psycho (f) 15. Tiger Claw (h) 16. Tony Starks (n) 17. Venusian Death Cell (h) 18. Scott "the Whine" Bloom (j) 19. Flare (h) So only five spots remain! Let's just remind ourselves of the rules in this encounter. The eventual winner will have to be victorious in three tournament matches and a triangle match against the winners of the other two brackets to be crowned IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. Normal stipulations apply: decisions by DQ, countout, pinfall or submission are all valid. First round matches will have a timelimit of 15 minutes; second round matches will have a timelimit of 30 minutes; semi-final matches will have a timelimit of 45 minutes; if any match exceeds the timelimit given, neither wrestler shall advance. The triangle match shall have no rules. All three men may be in the ring at one time, there will be no DQs, no countouts, and only pinfall and submission are valid. The match will continue in elimination format until only one wrestler remains. That man will then be crowned IIWF World Heavyweight Champion! In addition to those fantastic matches, we'll also see the first IIWF World Tag Team Champions crowned. Let's run down the five teams currently signed for the double battle royal: 1. Steamroller (h) 2. High Plains Drifters (h) 3. Alphabet Boys (h) 4. United Nations (f) 5. High Velocity (f) The IIWF President has the front office beavering away at attracting more top-flight teams to IIWF, so I should be able to update you on the other teams participating in my next report. Plus we'll also go live to the office of the IIWF President to see the draw for the double battle royal. Don't miss it! IIWF Intercontinental Championship Battle Royal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Already signed for the May 25 show live from the IIWF Coliseum is a battle royal to crown the first IIWF Intercontinental Champion. The front office isn't releasing any names at this early stage, but I can clarify the rules. A wrestler can only be eliminated from the match by going over the top rope and touching the arena floor. The match continues until there are only two athletes left in the ring, at which point the match ceases to be a battle royal and instead assumes more regular rules. No DQ, no countout, decisions only by pinfall or submission - there must be a winner! Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ I'll be back on Tuesday next week to run down the card for Coronation Clash, bringing you the final names entered into the tournament, as well as the drawings for the double Battle Royal matches live! So until then... hold on a second... [Dross is handed an envelope, which he opens. A cloud of grey dust billows from the envelope. When it clears, and Dross has stopped coughing, he pulls a piece of paper from the envelope.] What's this? A wanted ad from a newspaper... it reads: "Superb performer seeks audience with brilliant young actor for private audition." That's all it says. Well, folks, quite what this has to do with IIWF I don't know, but I'll try and have this dust cleaned up, as well as having some more information on who's behind this mysterious little stunt, in our next Report. Until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+