##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== CoRoNaTiOn ClAsH 1996 ----------------------------------------------- LIVE! from the IIWF Coliseum * May 18 1996 [Camera pans down past rows of screaming fans. Banners are held aloft, and the arena is packed to the rafters. As fireworks explode near the roof of the building, the shot approaches the ring. Over these scenes of excitement we hear the voice of Tim Dross:] TD: Welcome everybody to IIWF's first event! Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum! Welcome everybody to CORONATION CLASH! [The camera comes to rest on Dross, who is standing at ringside with another commentator, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Twenty-four men! One champion! Yes folks, tonight we are going to see 24 of the world's finest athletes in competition to become the first IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. The man who is eventually crowned champion will have to fight his way through three singles matches, before entering the battle of his life against two other finalists! SR: That's right, Dross. And tonight we're going to see the Horsemen bring home the gold! TD: Wait just a minute, Steve. Don't forget the other superstars entered into the tournament. We're talking Deathbringer, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, the "Green Giant", Don Antonio, Tiger Claw, the "Angel of the Sun"... the list goes on and on! Any one of 24 incredible athletes could go all the way to the gold here tonight. Let's go backstage and hear from some of the wrestlers who are about to do battle in the fight of their lives: [SCENE: Back in the lockerrooms of the arena where Coronation Clash is about to begin, we can see Dan "Flash" Kauffman lacing up his black wrestling boots, and attired in his traditional zebra-striped black and white leg-length tights. Dan's mentor and trainer, "Legend" Brandon Bennett is also in the lockerroom. Dan's face is one of total focus, relaxation and determination. The cameras pick up the following...] BENNETT: Remember, use a different game plan against each opponent, keep them off-balance. Don't concern yourself with anything except your opponent. Use your different styles well... Don't brawl with a monster, and don't take to the air against a quicker opponent. DAN: Yes, I know all this. To the IIWF competitors here tonight, all I have is one quick word. I've seen all the participants in this tournament, ranging from the Japanese styles of Hakiro Matsuoko and Tiger Claw. I've noted the massive forms of the Outlaw, Jack Haley, and the Deathbringer. I see many of the same qualities I have in Tony Starks and Casey James. I've scouted the other horsemen, Flare in particular. I've come prepared, as I said I would. And knowing that those fans out there want to see sonme great performances, I intend on showing what I'm capable of. You never count any wrestler out of a match. Remember those wise words. They are the ones I live by. I've come here to gain the respect of these fans, but I've also come to gain the respect from my fellow wrestlers. I hope I will be able to meet some of you that I have read so much about. For that is what competition is all about. Dedication. Focus. Drive. Commitment. Intelligence. Heart. Ability. Mental Toughness. These are what fuel champions. These are what I have. It does not matter what happens tonight, because I am the only man that can truly defeat myself. And it won't happen tonight. At least, not emotionally. I may be defeated in that ring. But not without giving the other opponent the fight of his life. Respect. It's what I live for. I will prove myself once again tonight. Good luck to all, and bring everything you have. [Cut to the locker room of Tony Starks. He looks focused and ready for all the challenges that await him:] Starks: I just saw the brackets a little while ago, I have been too busy training so I just saw them this morning. Man, I said that I wanted some competition! All I got to say is Hamlet, Lebec, VDC, Giant, and Mr. Mystery, you ALL better recognize, I got a little sumthin' for each of you. And Mr. Mystery, I don't know who you are and I don't care. And this goes for everyone, if you step up to me you are going to find out why I am undefeated! Hamlet, you found out why in that other fed. I don't care who I wrestle, if you are a light heavyweight, a giant or a psyched out Hannibal the Cannibal wannabe, I ain't afraid of none of you. When I am in the ring, it is total war, staright up and down. It is all business, none of this playing up to the fans - all business. Peace - until we get in the ring, then there is no peace. [Cut back to Dross and Roberts at the commentary table.] TD: There's a lot of determined individuals back there, just itching to get into the ring! This should be a fantastic tournament. SR: And don't forget that we'll also be seeing the first IIWF Tag Team Champions crowned in a Battle Royal tonight. Six teams in the ring, and the last man or team standing then do battle to decide the Champion... and there must be a winner. TD: Let's have a quick word with the team you've been trailing over the past week, Steve - Rising Sun Revolution: [Split screen. Dross and Roberts on the left, the locker-room of Rising Sun Revolution on the right. Both men are obviously psyched up and full of energy. Hiroshi yells something in Japanese, and Ryudo laughs and slaps his back.] TD: Welcome to Coronation Clash! Are you looking forward to rumble? RK: You can bet your life on it! We've been training all week, and now it's time to make it pay off! This is why we came to America, the electric atmosphere, the excitement, and the competiton! We just can't wait to get in that ring! SR: And what can we expect from you tonight? Surprises? RK: You can expect a whole-hearted performance! The Dragon and the Demon are going out there to win!!! [Hiroshi yells something again. Ryudo translates:] RK: "We're ready. We're psyched. And we're gonna kick some ass!!" See you in the ring! [Cut back to normal shot.] TD: Steve, that team has to be a favourite here tonight in that battle royal! SR: No way, Dross. This is a match with no rules, and in a match like that, you've gotta be talking about Steamroller! TD: Don't be so sure... never count out teams like High Velocity or the United Nations. Anything can happen in the IIWF, as I'm sure we're going to see tonight. [The timekeeper's bell rings] Let's go down to the ring for the opening match of tonight's incredible action! ----------- FIRST ROUND ----------- 1st Rd (15) 2nd Rd (30) Semi-final (45) Final [ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-. |-[ ]-. [ Flare ]-' | B |--[ ]-. R [ Outlaw ]-. | | A |-[ ]-' | C [ Scott "Whine" Bloom ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ Altair ]-. | T |-[ ]-. | [ Tiger Claw ]-' | | A |--[ ]-' [ Masked Marauder (J) ]-. | |-[ ]-' [ Subway Psycho ]-' TD: Pick us some winners, Steve. SR: Well, I'd have to go for Flare and the Outlaw - which would mean a Horsemen clash in the Second Round! Now that could be interesting. I'll also go for the Psycho - and Tiger Claw. TD: Okay, let's go to the action! "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Flare ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Flare comes to the ring accompanied by Miss Victoria Secret. He struts proudly down the aisle to the jeers of the crowd. Secret disrobes her charge in the middle of the ring, who then checks the ropes and awaits his opponent. The lights drop - huge crowd pop] SR: What's going on here?! [Fireworks and flames shoot up from the entrance to the aisle, as the Angel of the Sun appears. The crowd cheer him as he walks to the ring, hi-fiving the fans as he goes.] TD: That is what I call an entrance! Angel of the Sun, Hakiro Matsuoko, is in the house! [The match gets underway. Matsuoko immediately takes control, hitting Flare with his handspring bodyblock. Flare is staggered, and slides out of the ring under the bottom rope. Matsuoko performs a perfect plancha dive and floors Flare. The crowd goes nuts. Matsuoko hits Flare with a Yakuza kick, then climbs to the apron and performs a reverse moonsault off the apron onto his hapless opponent.] TD: Wow! I've never seen anything like this! Matsuoko is just perpetual motion! SR: Come on, Flare! Get up! [Matsuoko returns to the ring. Secret breaks the referee's count, allowing Flare time to recover. Flare walks around ringside, telling the fans to shut up. He eventually re-enters the ring, and stops the Angel of the Sun in his tracks with an eye-gouge.] SR: Alright! Now we're going to see some real Horsemen action! [Brian Lau appears at the head of the aisle. He doesn't move forward, just stands and watches the match.] TD: Hey, it's Brian Lau. Guess he must be sore that Matsuoko told him where to stick his offer of management... SR: That was the dumbest move Matsuoko could ever make. Bet Tiger Claw's going to make him pay for that dishonourable rejection! [Flare chops Matsuoko viciously, and whips him into the ropes. Flare performs an excellent tilt-a-whirl suplex, and Matsuoko is left winded on the canvas. Flare goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - kick out! Matsuoko gets up, and ducks an attempted roundhouse from Flare, but is unable to get out the way of a single-leg take down. Secret grabs hold of Matsuoko's arms, as Flare applies the Figure Four Leglock. As soon as he has the hold cinched in, she releases her grip before the referee sees. The crowd gets behind Matsuoko and starts chanting "Go, Angel, Go!" Matsuoko grabs the ropes, and Flare releases the hold.] TD: What endurance! Most men would have submitted the moment Flare got that hold on! SR: Matsuoko just made a big mistake. He should have given up then and there. Flare's really going to make him pay now! [Flare misses with an elbowdrop, and Matsuoko leaps on to the top rope, coming down on Flare hard with a vertical splash. He then drags Flare to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. He connects with his trademark Spinning Flying Leg Lariat, and Flare hits the deck hard. He goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: That was too close. Flare is hanging on by the skin of his teeth. [As Matsuoko continues his high-impact assault, Bodybag comes to ringside. As Matsuoko comes into the ropes, Kinder trips him... in full view of the referee, who quickly disqualifies Flare. Lau shakes his head and heads back to the locker room.] TD: Now come on, how stupid is Brad Kinder?! Tripping Matsuoko right in front of the referee?! SR: I can't believe it! RA: Here is your winner, as a result of a disqualification: Angel of the Sun, Hakiro Matsuoko! [The crowd goes nuts. Secret remonstrates with Kinder, and the Horsemen leave ringside as more fireworks erupt in celebration.] TD: I think we've seen the arrival of a major force in IIWF here tonight! The Angel of the Sun is one of the most phenomenal athletes I've ever seen. SR: I'll grant you that he's got some incredible offence, but Flare was robbed here tonight. Never fear, though - the Horsemen will bounce back! The Outlaw's up next! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Scott "the Whine" Bloom vs. Masked Outlaw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Well, this should be an extremely interesting encounter. ["Whine" is coming down the aisle, with a microphone in hand.] SR: Shut up, Dross, let's hear what this guy has to say! ["Whine"'s words come over the PA system, and the crowd boo him hugely:] SB: You can all shut up! I won't take any notice of you! You're all a bunch of crybabies. You think you can talk about me behind my back? Well, you can't! I'll hear it! You think you can take away from me what's rightfully mine? You think you can...? [As "Whine"'s tirade continues, the Masked Outlaw comes burning down the aisle and nails Bloom. He presses Bloom above his head and dumps him face-first on the steel railings, then piledrives him onto the concrete walkway.] TD: I can't believe this! Bloom has gotta be out! SR: This is great! I guess becoming one of the Horsemen had more of an effect on the Outlaw than we thought! ["Whine" is busted open, and the Outlaw drags him into the ring. The match officially begins. The Outlaw pulls "Whine" to his feet and hits him with the Last Rites, a vicious DDT. He repeats it, not once but no less than four times. The mat is covered in blood, and the crowd are booing and jeering the Outlaw, who stands in the ring, lapping up their disapproval.] TD: Look at that guy! He's really enjoying this! Somebody ought to get some help out here, and fast. SR: Looks like the Outlaw is really taking that ham'n'egger to school here tonight! [The Outlaw initimidates the referee into moving from his protective stance over "Whine", picks up the unconscious form of his opponent and sits him on the top rope. He executes a vicious snap superplex. The referee checks to see whether "Whine" is still conscious, and immediately stops the match, calling for paramedics at the same time.] RA: The referee has stopped this match as Scott "the Whine" Bloom is unable to continue. Therefore, your winner: The Outlaw! TD: What kind of a stupid decision is that? Outlaw should have been disqualified right from the moment he jumped Bloom in the aisle! [The Outlaw revels in the jeers of the crowd as the battered form of "Whine" is wheeled out on a stretcher by paramedics. As they proceed up the aisle towards the dressing room, the other Horsemen (Flare and "Bodybag") leap out from behind the crowd barriers and set about the stretcher, kicking and punching the unconscious athlete, before pushing the stretcher as hard as they can into the ring steps, causing "Whine" to go flying off. A horde of officials and referees swarm down the aisle, finally stopping the carnage and dragging the Horsemen back to the locker room area.] TD: I really cannot believe what we have just seen! I'm shocked! SR: I'm not! That was great! _Now_ tell me that the Horsemen aren't a force to be reckoned with here in IIWF! TD: Well, I guess the Outlaw will be proceeding into the second round to face Matsuoko then. SR: Yeah, and he's not even warmed up that little ol' camp fire yet! What an athlete! The Horsemen will avenge Flare's loss, for sure! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Altair vs. Tiger Claw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Let's go back to the locker-room and get some comments from Altair. [Cut to split-screen; Dross on the left, Altair on the right.] TD: Altair - your match with Tiger Claw is the first for you in the IIWF. What can we expect? Altair: My training this week was augmented, when The Senator brought in an expert from the west coast. He is a former multi-world champion in many forms of the martial arts. We worked many hours in the gym for this match and the knowledge I have gained will be instrumental in my win here. Now if you will excuse me I have to go to the ring.... [Cut back to normal shot. Altair comes to the ring with the Senator to a good pop. He's a big man, 315lbs, 6'10", and a real power-house. Tiger Claw is a far smaller man, weighing only 220lbs. He enters the ring to a moderate heel pop.] TD: How about this for a mismatch then, Steve? SR: Don't be fooled by Claw's size, Dross. Altair may be bigger, but Claw knows all the tricks! [The two lock up. Claw lifts a knee into Altair's belly, and then rains all manner of high impact kicks and chops onto his opponent. Altair is staggered, and falls against the ropes. One well-placed kick from Claw sends Altair over the ropes. Big heel pop as Claw stands in the ring and laps up their jeers.] SR: Told you, Dross! Altair hasn't even got a shot in yet! TD: Altair's going to have to take Claw down to the mat and use that size advantage. [Altair gets back into the ring, and storms towards Claw, almost taking his head off with a vicious Western lariat. Claw goes through a complete somersault, the crowd cheers. Altair elbow-drops Claw, but then misses with a leg drop. Claw kips-up, and then stamps on Altair's head. He goes to the top rope and attempts a double-axe handle - but Altair nails him in the stomach as he comes off the top. Claw is winded, and Altair nails him with a DDT. Altair goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: Once Altair slows Claw down, he clearly has the advantage. Claw was very nearly beaten right there. SR: Don't count him out. Tiger Claw has an incredible Thai boxing background - he's used to taking punishment as well as dishing it out. [Claw rolls out of the ring and collects himself. He slides back into the ring through Altair's legs, and, quick as a cat, bounds to his feet, hitting Altair in the back of the head with a Spinning Round Shin Kick. Altair goes flying over the ropes and lands hard on the arena floor. Claw goes to the top rope and leaps all the way to the floor, hitting Altair with a big splash. He returns to the ring as the referee counts. The Senator seems unable to revive Altair, who looks to have been knocked out when he went over the top rope... ...7 - 8 - 9 - 10! Altair has been counted out!] RA: Here is your winner, as the result of a countout - Tiger Claw! TD: Is Altair all right? [Big heel pop as Claw stands exultant in the ring. He leaves and passes a stretcher crew as they come down the aisle. Altair is placed on the stretcher and rolled back to the locker room area.] TD: We'll try and get an update on Altair's condition later on this evening. Tiger Claw went way too far with that kick! A fall like that could break your neck. SR: Claw is vicious, Dross. He'll do anything for a victory. I love it! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Subway Psycho vs. Masked Marauder (J) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The Masked Marauder comes to the ring to negligible crowd heat. He is scrawny, around 200lbs. Then "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne plays, the lights dim, and out comes the Subway Psycho, accompanied by Mistress Sasha, to a huge pop.] TD: Here's another of the big guns rolled out already! The Psycho's been a champ before, and he's ready to do it again! SR: I don't like this guy. He stinks of sewage. TD: Will you please stop! [Psycho enters the ring; the lights go up and the Psycho immediately levels the Marauder with a running clothesline. The Marauder is laid out on the mat - the Psycho goes to the top rope, and to a huge pop hits a moonsault. The Marauder is motionless. The Psycho signals to the crowd for the Derailer. Huge pop! Psycho goes to the ropes again and hits the Derailer. Cover: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: the Subway Psycho! TD: Not much of a workout for the Psycho in that one! SR: [with peg over his nose] Whad? Who cares? The Dycho won'd be gedding any furder in the tournamend. He'll be fighding Diger Glaw in the decond round. TD: Er, right. Well, that's the first bracket completed. Let's take a look at Bracket B. 1st Round (15) 2nd Rd (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ El Lobo Negro ]-. |-[ ]-. [ Casey James ]-' | B |-[ ]-. R [ Brad Kinder ]-. | | A |-[ ]-' | C [ Don Antonio ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ Mr. Blu Tone ]-. | T |-[ ]-. | [ Deathbringer ]-' | | B |-[ ]-' [ El Seguente (J) ]-. | |-[ ]-' [ Dan Kauffman ]-' TD: Bearing in mind that you've not done too well so far - who's going to go through in this bracket? SR: Simple. Negro, Bodybag, Deathbringer and - much as I hate to say it - Kauffman. TD: Well, I guess we'll see. Let's go back down to the ring. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] El Lobo Negro vs. Casey "Whitebread" James ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The masked light heavyweight, El Lobo Negro, makes his way to the ring, amidst the jeers of the crowd.] TD: What does El Lobo Negro mean? SR: I think it means, "Black Wolf"... TD: Well, this guy sure acts like a predator in the ring. His tactics may be somewhat questionable, but he gets results. SR: That do-gooder Casey James is going to feel the full sting of the wolf's bite! [The strains of Yankee Doodle Dandy ring out across the PA system, and Casey James receives a moderate pop from the capacity crowd. He shakes the hands of his fans as he comes down to the ring, and reminds kids not to choke on their hot dogs. He stands in the ring, and dwarfs El Lobo Negro totally.] TD: Negro's giving away about seven inches in height and almost 100lbs to Casey in this match. SR: Not a problem. Just wait until... hey! [While Casey stands accepting the cheers of the crowd, Negro hits him with a fine standing dropkick. Casey goes down, and Negro quickly follows up with a leg drop. Casey rolls out of the way of the ensuing double fist, and gets to his feet. He ducks under a roundhouse, and hoists Negro up onto his shoulders, pressing him above his head in an impressive display of strength.] TD: Wow! This guy has muscles on his muscles. SR: Yeah, and on his brain. TD: Now, Steve, try to be nice. SR: Sure. That was nice. [Meanwhile, Casey has the upper hand. He performs a body slam on Negro, then an elbow drop. Negro rolls out of the ring. Casey bends down to bring him back in, and Negro nails him below the belt, then pulls him out of the ring. He leans Casey up against the ringpost, and then hits a spinning roundhouse kick, squashing Casey's head against the steel. Casey goes down.] TD: The referee ought to disqualify Negro right there! Did you see that? SR: See what? I didn't see anything... [Negro rolls Casey back into the ring, and goes to the top rope for a moonsault. However, as the crowd jeers him, he stops to motion for them to shut up, and this gives Casey time to recuperate. When he finally goes for the move, Casey moves out of the way. Both men are down. Some fans start chanting: "Ca-sey! Ca-sey!"] TD: The crowd are right behind this American hero now! SR: Yeah, they're just as retarded as he is. Notice how that blow to the head didn't have much effect? [Casey finally gets to his feet, and signals to the crowd for the Hammer of Justice. He picks up Negro and hoists him up onto his shoulder. He slams him down to the canvas, and goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: Casey "Whitebread" Jones. TD: He got him! He got him! I didn't expect that... SR: Nor did I! Guess that shows that if you play to the crowd, and if you waste too much time, what goes around, comes aruond. TD: Hey, Steve - that almost made sense! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Brad "Bodybag" Kinder vs. Don Antonio ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Okay, let's see how the last minute preparations in Brad Kinder's locker-room are going. [Cut to Kinder standing in the locker room with Flare and Outlaw, working out their last minute plans. Bodybag speaks:] "In just mere minutes, I will take the ring on my way to the IIWF belt. I want to give one last warning to Don Antonio and my opponents in future rounds - you will be hurt and hurt severely. You better pull out of your match with me while you can, because you may never wrestle another match in your life after I face you. Don't come to the ring with any fruity little arrogant attitudes like HBK, 'cause I'll kick you and your "Kliq"'s a**. I'm out of here." [Brad "Bodybag" Kinder, leaving Flare and Outlaw in the locker room, comes to the ring to the strains of "Back in Black" by AC/DC. He gives the sign of the Horsemen as he passes the camera, and he is solidly jeered by the crowd. Don Antonio then comes down the aisle, bedecked in his full mobster gear. Some of the crowd cheer him, others boo him - he doesn't seem to care either way. The Italian enters the ring and disrobes. As soon as he has his clothes out the ring, Bodybag pounces and attacks from behind.] TD: Look at that! A Horseman through and through! SR: Well, whaddya expect him to do? Invite Don Antonio to hit him?! [Bodybag has the upper hand quickly. He hits a volley of offensive moves - a gut-wrench powerbomb, an elbow drop from the second ropes, and a bodyslam. He climbs to the top rope and attempts a splash, but Antonio sticks his knees up, and Bodybag gets a face full. Crowd pop.] TD: Went to the well too many times there! [Antonio capitalises on Brad being stunned. He puts him into the corner, and punches him. The crowd chants the numbers - "1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10!" Bodybag is rocked, and is taken off his feet by a dropkick. Antonio then applies the Boston Crab.] TD: He's got him! It's over for Bodybag! SR: No... No! Bodybag refuses to submit. [Suddenly, the Outlaw and Flare swarm down the aisle. Flare attempts to enter the ring, and the referee warns him off - meanwhile, the Outlaw clocks Don Antonio with a pair of brass knuckles, and rolls Bodybag on top of the hapless Sicilian.] TD: Aw, come on! SR: This is great! [Big negative crowd reaction as the referee counts the Bodybag's cover: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, as the result of a pinfall: Brad "Bodybag" Kinder! [The Horsemen raise their arms in victory, and leave to a deafening heel pop, amidst objects being thrown at them by the crowd. The referee tends to Don Antonio, eventually reviving him and leading him back down the aisle.] TD: I can't believe this! The Horsemen can't keep getting away with this. I'm sure President Dan is going to have some stiff fines for Flare and Co. if this continues. SR: If what continues? Flare and the Outlaw were just out here stylin' and profilin', enjoying the big fight atmosphere... TD: Will you please stop! So Brad Kinder will face Casey James in the second round. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Mr. Blu Tone vs. Deathbringer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Mr. Blu Tone comes out to a moderate face pop. He slaps a few hands on the way to the ring, but is generally pretty caught up in his own appearance. He arrives in the squared circle.] TD: Let's go back to the locker-room and get some last minute comments from Deathbringer. [Split screen. On the left, Dross. On the right: Deathbringer standing just behind the curtain at the top of the aisle.] Deathbringer, do you have any last words before stepping into the squared circle for your first round match? Deathbringer [looks into the camera, close up to his eyes]: Wrestlers of the IIWF, prepare to meet your maker... [Cut back to the arena. All the lights go out. Big crowd pop.] TD: Oh-oh! This can mean only one thing! Deathbringer's in the house! SR: Hell, Dross - this guy gives even _me_ the creeps! [The lights go back up, and Deathbringer is already in the ring. Mr. Blu Tone almost jumps out of his skin. The Coroner disrobes his charge, who immediately sets his sights on Blu Tone.] SR: How _does_ that guy do that?! TD: I really have no idea, Steve. Maybe he _does_ walk with the dead on the dark side. SR: Yeah, right. [Deathbringer stalks Blu Tone, who launches an immediate assault, fear in his eyes. He rains punches on Deathbringer, and then comes off the ropes with a leaping clothesline. 'Bringer is taken off his feet - big crowd pop - but immediately sits up again. The crowd falls silent.] TD: Now Blu Tone's in trouble. [Deathbringer stalks towards Blu Tone, and clamps his head in the Death Claw, lifting him off his feet. Blu Tone wriggles like a worm, and 'Bringer slams him to the canvas with authority. He bounces off the ropes, and as Blu Tone struggles to his feet, he is hit by a flying clothesline. 'Bringer then picks up the hapless Blu Tone, presses him over his head and dumps him over the top rope to the floor.] TD: Oh my! That's got to have put Blu Tone out! SR: He'll sure be singing the blues in the morning now - the black and blues! [The referee counts Blu Tone, who struggles to his feet, but heads back to the dressing room area. He is counted out, and Deathbringer heads back to the locker room in pursuit, the Coroner in his wake.] RA: Here is your winner, by countout: Deathbringer! TD: I reckon Blu Tone made the smartest move there. SR: He won't feel so smart when the 'Bringer catches up with him... Dan "Flash" Kauffman vs. El Seguente ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [El Seguente, a little known Mexican wrestler, makes his way to the ring amidst the jeers of a crowd a little nonplussed at the non-decisive finish of the previous match. Then there is a huge crowd pop for Dan "Flash" Kauffman as he enters to the strains of "Black Cat" by Janet Jackson. He hi-fives his fans on the way to the ring, then jumps straight from the arena floor to the ring apron.] TD: Listen to the crowd! They love this guy! SR: I've no idea why! He's all talk - "pound for pound the toughest man in wrestling"?! Give me a break. What an arrogant little puke. TD: Now, now, Steve. Once you see what this guy can do in the ring you'll be a convert. [Kauffman immediately locks up with El Seguente, then takes him down with a leg sweep. He drops to the mat and applies an armbar, which Seguente counters and reverses. Kauffman grabs Seguente with a headscissors, and the Mexican is not impressed. He beats the canvas with his hands, which only gets the crowd shouting "Kauff-man! Kauff-man!" Dan releases the hold and allows Seguente to get to his feet. He hiptosses Seguente, then clotheslines him as he attacks again. Seguente comes off the ropes again, and he is stopped dead by a devastating tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Big crowd pop.] SR: [grudgingly] Nice move. [Kauffman goes to the top and nails Seguente with an elbow drop, then drags him to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He then hits his phenomenal "Lights Out" manoeuvre - a flipping clothesline off the ropes. Seguente is taken through more than 360 degrees, and lands hard. Huge crowd pop. Kauffman covers - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, via pinfall - Dan "Flash" Kauffman! TD: Wow, I've never seen a clothesline like that before. What an athlete! SR: [still grudgingly] Not bad, I suppose. [Dan Kauffman leaves the ringside area to a huge pop, hi-fiving his fans as he goes.] TD: Well, that concludes the first round matches in Bracket B. Let's take a look at the final first round bracket: 1st Round (15) 2nd Rd (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ Billy Shakespeare ]-. |-[ ]-. [ Simon Lebec ]-' | B |-[ ]-. R [ Bear Bollea (J) ]-. | | A |-[ ]-' | C [ Mystery Participant ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ Barry Hardy (J) ]-. | T |-[ ]-. | [ Tony Starks ]-' | | C |-[ ]-' [ Venusian Death Cell ]-. | |-[ ]-' [ Jack Haley ]-' TD: Okay then, Steve. Pick us the final first round winners. SR: Lebec is going to wipe the mat with Shakespeare. Starks is obviously on his way to the title, and the Venusian Death Cell is going to make mincemeat of the "Green Giant". TD: Plus the mystery of the unknown participant will finally be solved! SR: What's there to solve? I know who's going to come out. TD: Oh yeah, who? SR: That would be telling... TD: I've just received word from the locker room area that Altair is fine. He has a slight concussion that will stop him training for a few days, and he's a little annoyed with Tiger Claw, to say the least, but he'll be back in action in time for next week's card. SR: Damn. I was hoping Claw would end his career right here. TD: Will you please stop?! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Let's go backstage and see how the "Showstopper" is preparing for this match... [Cut to behind the curtain at the top of the aisle. "The Showstopper" Simon Lebec, Miss Crystal and Francois are preparing to head to the ring. Simon Lebec's entrance music begins to play in the background.] Lebec: Tonight... you'll all see the brillance of "The Showstopper"! Shakespeare! After I teach you how to wrestle, how's about I teach you how to look sexy like me? The entire IIWF shall see why I will win the whole thing! And don't think I've forgotten about you, mystery man! There's no mystery behind it... after I take care of this first punk, you'll be next! Crystal, tell me how pretty I am. Miss Crystal: You're stunning, you know that! Lebec: I know. Won't I make the perfect champion? Francois, I'll let you take this one. Francois: The best champion, boss! Lebec: Just as I suspected. Oh well, the peasants await. Shall we? [Lebec and his valets step through the curtain. Cut back to arena. Lebec comes out to a moderate heel pop, accompanied by the gorgeous Miss Crystal and the luscious Francois. He enters the ring and is disrobed by his valet; despite the jeers of the crowd, he is beaming broadly. Then Shakespeare comes out to a good face pop. He hi-fives the fans on his way to the ring, but as he enters the squared circle, sparkly grey dust gently begins to fall from the arena ceiling.] TD: Oh-oh. Where have we seen dust like that before? SR: What's this supposed to mean, Dross?! TD: I've no idea. Billy looks a little distracted, though. [As Billy looks up into the arena, Lebec jumps him from behind, takes him to the mat, and starts stomping viciously on his opponent. Big heel pop. He picks up Shakespeare and delivers a piledriver, then delivers an elbow from the top rope.] TD: Shakespeare's hurt already! SR: That'll teach the namby-pamby little show-off a thing or two. [Lebec stops to bask in the negative reaction of the crowd, and while he does, Shakespeare sneaks up behind and grabs his opponent for a small package. Count: 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: Wow, that was close! [Lebec, mad as hell, immediately rains punches down on Shakespeare, but Billy dodges, and counters with haymakers of his own. Big pop as Billy backs Lebec into the corner, and performs a monkey flip, sending Lebec flying across the ring. He applies the armbar on Lebec, who is absolutely infuriated.] TD: Lebec needs to control that temper of his - it's affecting his judgement, and his timing's off. SR: Maybe - but when he gets his hands on Shakespeare, it's going to be a different story. [Lebec finally breaks the hold, and goes running into the ropes. Every move he attempts backfires - he is backdropped, punched, clotheslined and bodyslammed. Furious, he rolls out the ring. Billy goes to the ropes and is dragged out under the bottom rope. He and Lebec brawl on the outside, Lebec getting his head rammed into the steel ring steps. Billy gets back inside the ring, to break the count. He stands in the ring and the crowd cheers him. He bows to all four sides of the ring. Lebec, meanwhile, is having a tactical discussion with Crystal.] TD: There's not much time left in this one - don't forget there's a 15 minute time limit on these first round matches. [Lebec reenters the ring, and performs a sunset flip on Billy. He gets a near-fall. Shakespeare bounces back to his feet, and the two exchange more fisticuffs. Each man tries to whip the other into the corner - finally Lebec manages to whip Shakespeare, who leaps to the top rope like a cat, and hits Lebec with his backflip cross bodyblock, the "Curtain Call". Out of nowhere, Billy has Lebec pinned - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Lebec goes crazy, immediately breaking out of the cover and piledriving Billy into the mat three times. Huge heel pop.] TD: Get some help out here! Lebec has snapped! That temper of his finally got the better of him! SR: Not at all - just a bit of retribution, that's all. [Lebec wipes the sweat off his brow and flicks it onto the stunned form of Billy Shakespeare, before leaving the ring amidst the jeers of the crowd. Billy finally comes round, and walks from the ring under his own steam.] TD: What kind of shape is Billy going to be in for his second round match? SR: He'll never make it to the ring! He's out of this one, Dross. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: Right, now we're going to find out who this mystery man is... Mystery Participant vs. Bear Bollea ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Bear Bollea comes to the ring to negligible crowd reaction. He is a tall man, well-built, with a mushroom-cloud pattern shaved in his chest hair. The lights dim - huge crowd pop. The strains of "Hello Spaceboy" by David Bowie come over the PA system, and the voice of the ring announcer is heard:] RA: This first-round contest is scheduled for one fall, and has a 15 minute time limit. Currently in the ring, from Venice Beach, CA, weighing 303lbs., Bear Bollea. And his opponent - from the Far Side of the Moon, weighing in at 275lbs... Moondust! [Sparkly grey dust begins to fall once again from the roof of the arena, and a "man" in sparkly grey tights and pink boots appears at the head of the aisle. He is very camp, and minces to the ring.] TD: What on earth is this?! SR: I don't know, Dross. I'm stunned. And this grey dust is getting all over my expensive suit. TD: So this must be the individual who's been responsible for all the shenanigans with Billy Shakespeare. What was "Come out and play with me" supposed to mean, anyway?! SR: Well, if you shut up, Dross, we might find out! [Moondust has reached the ring, and has taken a microphone. He speaks:] Moondust: Hi there, everybody. My name's Moondust, and I've come to play with you all here in IIWF. Billy Shakespeare... I think you could give the performance of your life with me behind you... [The jeers of the crowd are getting more and more audible.] If you don't shut up, I'm going to come out there and kiss every one of you! TD: Oh my. What a bizarre individual! SR: No, hang on, Dross - this guy could be playing mind-games... TD: I'm more interested in his athleticism than his innuendo. [Moondust puts down the microphone and offers his hand to Bollea. When Bollea slaps Moondust in the face rather than offering his hand, he gets a big crowd pop. Moondust looks shocked, then rubs his hands over Bollea's body. Bollea is freaked, and gets out of the ring. He heads back to the locker room, leaving Moondust in the ring. The referee counts Bollea out - - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by countout: Moondust! TD: Well, that wasn't much of a match. SR: But things have worked out well for Moondust - he'll be facing Billy Shakespeare in the next round. TD: That _will_ be an interesting match... [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Barry Hardy vs. Tony Starks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Hardy comes to the ring to little reaction. He is overweight, and wears a blue singlet. Clearly a below-average jobber. Then "C.R.E.A.M." by the Wu-Tang Clan blares out over the PA system, and Tony Starks walks down the aisle. Some fans cheer him, others jeer him...] TD: I don't know what to make of this guy. Sometimes he plays fair, other times he just breaks all the rules. SR: I like him - he'll do anything to win. And don't forget, he's got an undefeated streak as long as your arm. [Starks enters the ring, and immediately goes after Hardy. He clotheslines his opponent, then stomps him, and drops an elbow. Within a moment, he applies the Cross-face Chickenwing on Hardy.] TD: That is a most dangerous hold! I've never seen anyone break out of the cross-face chickenwing. SR: They say it's actually unbreakable. Especially when Starks is the man who's got it cinched in. He's a big guy. [Hardy is quick to submit, and Starks releases the hold. The crowd seems a little more positive towards him. He raises his arms in victory and gets a moderate face pop.] TD: Didn't even break a sweat in that one... although I think the competition in the next round might be a little tougher. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Venusian Death Cell vs. "Green Giant" Jack Haley ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The lights dim, and the music from the shower scene in Psycho comes over the PA system. A cage is wheeled down the aisle, surrounded by handlers. It gets to ringside, and there is hushed silence as it is opened. Out comes the huge frame of the Venusian Death Cell. The audience seems genuinely apprehensive about the Cell, who enters the ring and seems to sniff the air...] TD: Do you think he's trying to smell blood? SR: Undoubtedly. But if that guy comes anywhere near me, you won't see me for dust. He is _so_ strange. [The lights come up, and the cage is wheeled away, although the handlers remain around ringside. The crowd remain silent.] TD: Let's quickly go backstage and get some last minute comments from the Green Giant himself: [Cut to the Green Giant's locker room, with coach Don "Doc" Severnson. Jack Haley wraps a towel around his shoulders and shrugs, loosening up, talking to his coach.] HALEY: Hey all. This looks like fun. Hey, before I go out there, I want you all to meet my coach. This is Don Severnson from Coldwater, Michigan, and he flew all the way in to cheer me on. This'll be great. [Settling, talking to himself] Okay. C'mon. Get serious. WHOOO! [Haley faces his coach. Severnson slaps him. Haley slaps him back. They do this a little until Coach blocks the Giant's open hand into a cross-face chicken wing. In a moment of technical expertise, The Giant bends his knees and gently rolls his coach over him, undoing the chicken wing so they're facing each other. Letting go, they grin a little, shrug, and slap hands.] Haley: "All right. Let's do it." [Haley pulls his green robe on, and jogs out of the locker room, coach following close behind with the IWIF crew. Cut back to the arena, and Jack comes down the aisle. His coach is escorted into the front row around ringside by IIWF officials. Jack climbs the ring steps and stands on the apron. He looks apprehensive.] TD: Even big ol' Jack doesn't want to get into the ring with this guy. And I don't blame him. [Jack steps into the ring, and immediately the Cell comes after him. He nails the Giant with a clothesline, and then seems to try and bite into Haley's flesh. The Giant rolls out of the way, and gets to his feet. He picks up the Cell and slams him to the mat, drops an elbow, and then picks him up. He hoists the Cell onto his shoulders, and performs an airplane spin. When the Cell hits the mat, he seems to be slowed down. Haley capitalises, and takes the upper hand.] TD: The Green Giant can really dominate when he gets on top of you. SR: A man of that size would dominate anyone - even if he has all the brainpower of a pea. [Haley traps the Cell in a front face lock, and keeps him in for several minutes. The crowd gradually comes to life, and as a few fans chant, "Go Jack, Go!" the strain is taken up by more and more.] TD: At last, the fans are starting to get behind Jack! [The Cell, in a phenomenal display of strength, suddenly gets to his feet with the face lock still applied, hoisting Jack up in the air, and falls backwards, hitting the ropes and causing both him and Haley to sail out of the ring. Big crowd pop!] TD: Oh my! I think they both landed on their heads! SR: No damage to Haley, then. [The Cell seems unfazed by the fall, and gets to his feet. He rakes Haley's face along the ring apron, and bashes his head against the ring post. Blood appears on Haley's face. Suddenly there is a frenzy among the handlers to try and prevent the Cell from sinking his teeth into Haley's head. The crowd get to their feet, straining to see what's happening in the mass of handlers and wrestlers in the ringside area.] TD: What's happening in there? SR: I expect the Cell is drinking the Giant dry! I sure hope so, anyway. But who'll he have for afters? [Meanwhile, the referee is counting both men: - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding! The confusion continues around ringside.] RA: The referee has counted both athletes out. Therefore, neither man will progress into the second round of the tournament, and Tony Starks receives a bye into the semi-finals. [The announcement goes practically unnoticed, as more handlers come down to ringside. Eventually, they drag the Cell away from the ringside area, blood dripping from his mouth. Jack Haley lies at ringside, bleeding profusely from his forehead, and looking very shaken, but otherwise okay. The referee checks his awareness, before allowing him to return to the locker room area. He is joined by his coach, Don Severnson, who escorts Haley back, accepting the sympathetic cheers of the crowd.] TD: Well, it looks like the Green Giant is going to be okay... but I wonder what was happening in the midst of all those handlers? SR: It looked like the Cell was getting his weekly blood transfusion! TD: Maybe when the Giant is feeling a little less shaken we'll be able to get his comments on what happened out there. Nevertheless, neither man progresses to the second round... so Starks receives a bye into the semi-finals. SR: And that gives him a clear advantage, Dross - he didn't even break a sweat in his last match, so he'll essentially be fresh going into the semi-final. TD: He could well be the favourite now, Steve. Anyway, that's all the first round matches completed. We're down to 12 competitors. SR: As I predicted, the Horsemen have been a major force to be reckoned with... and I think either the Outlaw or Bodybag will go all the way to the gold. ------------ SECOND ROUND ------------ TD: That remains to be seen, Steve. Right now we're going to see the Outlaw in action, as we get back to the ring for the second round! Let's have a look at the second round matches in Bracket A: 1st Round (15) 2nd Round (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ Hakiro ]-. |-[ Hakiro ]-. [ Flare ]-' | B |--[ ]-. R [ Outlaw ]-. | | A |-[ Outlaw ]-' | C [ "Whine" Bloom ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ Altair ]-. | T |-[ Tiger Claw ]-. | [ Tiger Claw ]-' | | A |--[ ]-' [ Masked M (J) ]-. | |-[ Psycho ]-' [ Subway Psycho ]-' [Ding! Ding! Ding!] "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Outlaw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Matsuoko makes his usual flamboyant entrance, to a huge crowd pop, and the Outlaw then comes to the ring. He looks very business-like.] TD: We're in for a fantastic match here. A classic speed vs. power battle. SR: Yeah, right. Watch the Outlaw smash this cretin into oblivion. [The two lock up, and the Outlaw pushes Matsuoko into the ropes. Matusoko ducks under a clothesline, and then the Outlaw leapfrogs him as he comes back across the ring. Matsuoko hits the Outlaw with a flying spinning leg lariat. Big crowd pop. Matsuoko bounds to the top rope and hits a reverse moonsault. Cover: 1 - 2 - Kick out! Matsuoko flips the Outlaw into the ropes, executes a Frankensteiner, and then pummels the Horseman's head. The crowd are cheering wildly. Matsuoko backflips off the Outlaw, and as the dazed masked one staggers into the corner, hits him with a handspring elbow. He then executes a monkey flip, sending the Outlaw practically all the way across the ring. The Outlaw slides out under the bottom rope, and Matsuoko goes for a splash from the top turnbuckle. However, the Outlaw steps out of the way, and pushes Matsuoko as he flies through the air, making him hit the steel railings with force. The Outlaw stamps on Matsuoko, drives him into the ring post, and then rolls him back into the ring. Big crowd heat against the Outlaw.] SR: He just turns a match in the blinking of an eye, Dross. That's what makes the Outlaw great! [Now with the upper hand, the Outlaw performs a number of high impact moves on the fallen Angel - a powerslam, a piledriver and a backbreaker. He goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - Kick out! The Outlaw curses his foe's resilience, and pummels him with punches. Matsuoko lies, his chest heaving as he struggles for breath, in the middle of the ring. The Outlaw goes to the top rope, and attempts an elbow drop, but is met by a face full of boot. Matsuoko kips up - big crowd pop! Matsuoko whips the stunned Outlaw into the ropes, and hits him with a stunning flying clothesline.] TD: Wow! Matsuoko must have springs in his legs! He must have cleared the mat by about eight feet then! SR: [Grudgingly] Guess they don't call him an Angel for nothing. TD: What a tenacious athlete. Matsuoko is unstoppable. [Matsuoko is on a roll - high impact manoeuvre after high impact manoeuvre has the Outlaw rocking. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: Boy, that was close! How much punishment can the Outlaw take? [Flare and Bodybag come down the aisle, and stand at ringside.] TD: Oh-oh, here comes trouble. SR: Great! Now we're going to see the Angel burn! [Matsuoko seems distracted by the presence of the Horsemen, but leaps over the top rope and attacks first Flare and then Bodybag with a pair of superkicks, seamlessly joined into what appears to be one movement. The Horsemen are left out on the canvas. Suddenly, Tiger Claw flies down the aisle. Matsuoko reenters the ring, and while the referee is tending to the Horsemen on the outside, the Angel of the Sun covers the Outlaw, who is motionless. Huge crowd reaction as Matsuoko pins the Outlaw, but nobody's there to count him out. Claw comes off the top rope with a devastating leg drop right across the back of Matsuoko's neck. Huge heel pop. Claw rolls the Outlaw on top of Matsuoko and disappears from ringside. The referee enters the ring and counts the cover: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: the Outlaw! [The Horsemen are revived, and come into the ring. They begin stomping on Matsuoko - but Casey James comes to make the save, clotheslining all three Horsemen out of the ring. Big pop from the crowd. Casey tends to Matsuoko, and as the Horsemen back down the aisle, making threatening gestures at Casey, he stands in front of Matsuoko and protects him from further attack.] TD: What a miscarriage of justice we've seen here tonight! It was carnage out there! Thank heavens for Casey James. SR: What are you talking about, Dross? James ruined it just when it was getting good! TD: Steve, you are one sick individual. [James helps Matsuoko from the ring to a deafening crowd pop.] TD: But what a match that was! I think we saw just about every wrestling move in the book in that one. SR: Nobody's going to stop the Horsemen. I gotta feeling about this, Dross. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Tiger Claw vs. Subway Psycho ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Tiger Claw comes back out to the ring, accompanied by Brian Lau. The heel reaction is very loud indeed.] TD: I don't think Claw made any friends in this capacity crowd with his actions in that last match. SR: Sure he did - I love this guy! TD: Well, he's certainly a very dangerous individual. His Thai-boxing background appears to have stood him in good stead for this tournament. [The lights dim, and the Subway Psycho comes out to a strong face pop. He is accompanied by the lovely Mistress Sasha.] TD: Now this is a guy I want to see wearing the gold. SR: [with the peg over his nose once again] Why? Id'll jusd need fumigadion afderwards. I don'd dow whad thad beaudiful babe sees in this loser. TD: We all know the story of how the Psycho rescued Sasha from muggers in the subway of New York... SR: Yeah, yeah. I dow. Bud I don'd dow why dome guyd ged all the duck. TD: Whatever. Let's get down to action. [The Psycho and Claw lock up. Psycho cinches in a side headlock. Claw pushes him to the ropes. Psycho ducks a clothesline, Claw leapfrogs him, Psycho ducks a spinning leg lariat and nails Claw with a flying clothesline. Big crowd pop. Claw quickly gets to his feet - the Psycho nails him with a haymaker. Claw goes down but is quickly back up - haymaker - back down - back up - Psycho attempts another, Claw ducks, attempts kick, Psycho grabs his leg, Claw hits Psycho in the back of the head with a vicious kick. Psycho crumples to the mat.] TD: Claw is a master of those kicks. He seems to know exactly the spot where the nerves are exposed - he can put you unconsious with a blow to just the right spot. [Claw stomps the Psycho viciously. Brian Lau eggs him on from the outside. Claw bounces to the top rope, and nails the Psycho with an elbow smash. He drags the Psycho to his feet, and attacks him with his knee fury, raining blows to the head and body. Psycho goes down. Claw hits an elbow drop. Psycho is dragged out of the ring by Sasha. Lau runs round to the side that Sasha is on and pulls her away from her man. The referee comes out to make Lau unhand Sasha - meanwhile Claw has come to the outside, and piledrives the Psycho to the mat. He attempts to drive the Psycho into the ring post, but somehow the Psycho reverses the move. Claw hits hard, and as he bounces backwards, is put into a back suplex by the Psycho, Claw being released as Psycho falls backwards. Claw hits the ring steps with force. The referee gets back into the ring and starts the count. The Psycho rolls into the ring to stop the count, then comes back out. He hoists the light heavyweight above his head, and drops him onto the ring steps. Then he picks him up again, and in a display of strength, presses him back into the ring - over the top rope! Huge pop.] TD: Wow! The Psycho can take a licking - but he keeps on ticking! SR: I don't know where he's getting the energy from! [Psycho climbs to the top rope, and performs the De-Railer. However, at that moment, Lau grabs Sasha and begins to drag her back to the dressing room. The Psycho sees this and goes after her. Claw lies unconscious in the ring. The referee begins the count: - 6 - 7 - 8 - The Psycho realises he is being counted out and moves as fast as possible for somebody so exhausted back to the ring... - 9 - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding! He fails to make it in time, but enters the ring anyway, and out of frustration powerbombs the unconsious Claw to a big pop before heading back to the locker room in search of Sasha.] RA: Here is your winner, by countout: Tiger Claw! [The referee raises the unconscious Claw's arm, to a resounding heel pop.] TD: Well, I must say the quality of officiating in the bout was very poor. Claw should have been disqualified when Lau put his hands on Sasha. SR: What are you talking about, Dross? Lau asked Sasha out for dinner, and he was taking her to a fancy restaurant. TD: Will you be serious just for one moment?! Anyway, we now know what our semi-final is going to be: Outlaw vs. Tiger Claw. [Claw is assisted from the ring.] TD: Okay, it's time for the second round matches in Bracket B. Let's take a look: 1st Round (15) 2nd Round (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ El Lobo Negro ]-. |-[ Casey James ]-. [ Casey James ]-' | B |-[ ]-. R [ Brad Kinder ]-. | | A |-[ Brad Kinder ]-' | C [ Don Antonio ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ Mr. Blu Tone ]-. | T |-[ Deathbringer ]-. | [ Deathbringer ]-' | | B |-[ ]-' [ El Seguente (J) ]-. | |-[ Dan Kauffman ]-' [ Dan Kauffman ]-' SR: Well, it's plain to see, Dross, that Bodybag is going to squash James, and the 'Bringer will take out the Flash-man. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Casey "Whitebread" James vs. Brad "Bodybag" Kinder ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Casey comes out to a big pop. He hi-fives the fans on his way to the ring.] SR: This guy makes me sick. [Brad Kinder comes out accompanied by Flare and the Outlaw. They don't look too happy.] TD: Guess they're going to be after a little retribution now. [The match gets underway. Casey takes the initial upper-hand, with a boot to Kinder's face. He picks him up, whips him into the ropes, backdrops him and clotheslines him out of the ring. Big pop. Kinder regroups with the other Horsemen, then comes back into the ring. Bodybag ducks a clothesline. Bodybag reaches down and turns the tide with a gut-wrench powerbomb. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Casey is stunned. Bodybag applies an abdominal stretch, and grabs the Outlaw's hand for extra leverage. The crowd roar at the referee, who doesn't see the cheating. Flare "woo"s loudly at the crowd. The referee finally sees the grip and makes Bodybag release the hold. Bodybag takes Casey down to the mat with an armdrag, and stomps on his head. He then kicks him until he rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope. While Bodybag distracts the referee, Flare and the Outlaw stomp Casey. Big heel pop.] TD: The Horsemen are despicable. Turn around, ref! SR: Aw, shut up, Dross. [Outlaw holds Casey while Flare viciously chops him, then rolls him back into the ring. When the referee turns, Flare and the Outlaw look innocently back at him. The referee beckons to the ring announcer, who broadcasts an announcement:] RA: The referee has informed me that unless Flare and the Outlaw leave the ringside area, Brad "Bodybag" Kinder will be automatically disqualified. [Big pop.] TD: About time too! SR: No way! [Flare and the Outlaw don't look happy, but they leave the ringside area, amidst the jeers of the crowd. Bodybag has Casey in an armbar. The crowd begins to get behind Casey, who starts to fight his way out of the hold. He rallies against Bodybag, and suplexes his opponent. He staggers to his feet, and drops an elbow on Kinder. He hauls Kinder to his feet and hoists him to his shoulder. He signals for his trademark running powerslam. Big pop. But as he backs into the corner, Kinder grabs the ropes, and as Casey pulls him away, the momentum carries Kinder over him, and Kinder effectively slams Casey to the mat. Bodybag capitalises with a small package - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge negative pop as Bodybag quickly slides out of the ring and heads back to the locker room, exhausted. Casey stands up, bewildered, but the crowd give him a good reaction anyway.] TD: Yet another miscarriage of justice! SR: Shut up, Dross, that was great! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Deathbringer vs. Dan "Flash" Kauffman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: This should be an interesting encounter. How will Kauffman adapt to the slow, stalking style of Deathbringer? SR: Not very well. 'Bringer's gonna plant him six feet under. [The lights go out. Huge crowd pop. When they go back up, mere seconds later, Deathbringer is in the ring. The Coroner disrobes his charge, and then leaves the ring. "Black Cat" rings out over the PA system, and Kauffman makes his way to the ring. Big face pop.] TD: I like this guy. He's no-nonsense, and he's a fine athlete too. [Kauffman jumps into the ring over the top rope. He walks up to Deathbringer and stares right into the big guy's pure red eyes.] TD: He's not scared of Deathbringer! SR: Well, I told you he was stupid! [Deathbringer steps back, and grabs Kauffman by the neck. He chokeslams him. Big negative crowd pop. Kauffman writhes on the mat as Deathbringer continues to choke him. The referee finally breaks the hold. Bringer drags Kauffman to his feet, whips him into the ropes, and hits him with the Scythe, a vicious flying clothesline. Kauffman practically turns through 360 degrees. Another big negative pop. Kauffman struggles to his feet, only to be knocked back to the canvas by a single blow from the Bringer. Each time he stands up, and each time he is knocked back to the mat. The crowd begins to chant "Kauff-man! Kauff-man!" Dan finally gets to his feet, runs against the ropes and nails Bringer with a double flying fist. Bringer is rocked, and leans against the ropes. Kauffman throws himself at Bringer with a cross-body block, and both go flying over the ropes. A spectacular high spot - and a huge crowd pop] TD: Wow! Kauffman uses his whole body like a weapon. SR: I knew he was stupid, but that really takes the cake. He could get himself killed with moves like that! [Kauffman stands, and appears to be nursing his right knee. Bringer sees this and immediately takes advantage, nailing the leg with kicks. He rolls the stunned Kauffman back into the ring, and climbs to the top rope. Bringer goes for a splash, but Kauffman rolls out of the way. Bringer sits up almost immediately. Kauffman climbs to the top buckle.] TD: Kauffman can't wrestle all night on that wounded knee. He needs to finish this quickly... hey! [While Dross is speaking, Kauffman has hit a victory roll on Bringer. Deathbringer has his foot on the ropes, but the referee doesn't notice and makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Deathbringer realises the ref is out of position and tries to kick out, but just a fraction of a second too late. He immediately gets to his feet, and picks up the exhausted Kauffman. He hoists him up, and executes a vicious Tombstone inverse piledriver. Big heel pop. The Coroner immediately leaps into the ring and drags his man out and back to the locker room before any permanent damage is done.] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: Dan "Flash" Kauffman! [Huge crowd pop, which dies down in concern as Kauffman lies immobile in the ring. Eventually, however, he gets to his feet, and hobbles back to the locker room to a standing ovation.] TD: Well, that was a stunning victory - but I'm not convinced he'll be able to wrestle on that damaged knee. And he still has two matches to go. SR: Deathbringer was robbed right there, Dross. I think he's going to want to settle that score with Kauffman somewhere down the line. If he has any sense, Kauffman will drop out now - why risk your career for just one night of glory? You can't cheat death... TD: Now for the third bracket. Let's have a look at the matches: 1st Round (15) 2nd Round (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ Billy Shakespeare ]-. |-[ Billy ]-. [ Simon Lebec ]-' | B |-[ ]-. R [ Bear Bollea ]-. | | A |-[ Moondust ]-' | C [ Moondust ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ (J) ]-. | T |-[ Tony Starks ]-. | [ Tony Starks ]-' | | C |-[ Starks ]-' [ Venusian Death Cell ]-. | |-[ BYE ]-' [ Jack Haley ]-' TD: Now, is Billy Shakespeare even going to be in any condition to wrestle after that attack by Simon Lebec. SR: I hope every bone in that little puke's body is broken. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Moondust vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The lights dim once more, and Moondust comes to the ring amidst the sparkly grey dust that falls from the roof of the arena. Quite a loud heel pop.] TD: This... individual... is turning heads already. SR: He's a genius, Dross. Playing on the insecurities of his opponents. He really is the master of mind games! [Billy's theme music, "Little Willie" blares out over the PA. Big crowd pop, which diminishes as Billy fails to appear. Then it loudens to deafening volume as Billy appears at the head of the aisle and makes his way to the ring.] TD: Well, I guess that answers our question: Billy _is_ able to wrestle! SR: Damn. And I got my hopes up then. [Billy gingerly enters the ring, and Moondust looks lustfully at him. Shakespeare doesn't look impressed. He walks right up to Moondust, and appears to be saying something.] TD: What's he saying? SR: Probably inviting Moondust back to his place after the tournament. TD: Will you please stop! [Billy levels Moondust with a single punch, and quickly applies the armbar. Moondust tries to stroke Billy's chest with his free arm, but Billy gives the trapped arm an extra yank. Moondust howls in pain. Billy drags Moondust to his feet, still keeping a firm grip on the arm, and performs a perfect standing dropkick. Moondust goes down and rolls out of the ring. Billy times his plancha dive over the ropes perfectly. Big crowd pop. Moondust struggles to his feet and heads for the aisle, but Billy catches up with him, and after the two exchange blows, throws him back into the ring. Moondust slides up against a corner and begs Shakespeare to leave him alone. Billy is relentless, and performs a flying head-scissors on Moondust, flipping him out of the corner. Another big pop. Moondust leans up against the ropes, and Billy attempts a cross-body block on the stunned athlete, who drops to the canvas, causing Billy to go flying through the ropes and to the floor. Big shocked pop from the crowd. Moondust drops an elbow on Billy from the apron, and slaps him around the head. Big heel pop, and some fans are starting to throw stuff at Moondust. Moondust drags Billy to his feet, and leans him, dazed, up against the ringpost. He runs his hands over Billy's chest, and then viciously throws a punch. Billy ducks out of the way, and Moondust hits his hand against the ring-post. Big pop.] TD: It seems this Moondust fellow can dish it out, after all. [Billy climbs, still dazed, into the ring, and is followed by Moondust. Billy and Moondust slug it out. Billy pushes Moondust into the corner, and begins hammering him. The crowd chant the count: "...6! 7! 8! 9! 10!" Moondust slumps to the mat, and Billy, apparently now having his second wind, leaps to the top rope, and launches himself in a Vader-bomb style move on Moondust. He then goes to the top once more, and waits for Moondust to get to his feet. The crowd know what's coming next and the noise level increases - suddenly Billy hits the Curtain-Call backflip bodypress, and Moondust is in a pinning predicament: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [Huge crowd pop. Billy stands triumphant and looks down in disdain on Moondust, who slides out of the ring and woozily staggers back to the locker room area.] TD: Looks like Moondust bit off more than he could chew when he showed an interest in Billy Shakespeare. SR: Don't be so sure, Dross. I don't think that obnoxious little puke has seen the last of Moondust... ----------- SEMI-FINALS ----------- TD: Time will tell. Right - that's the second round down. We now have our six semi-finalists. Let's take a look at Bracket A: 1st Round (15) 2nd Round (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ Hakiro ]-. |-[ Hakiro ]-. [ Flare ]-' | B |--[ Outlaw ]-. R [ Outlaw ]-. | | A |-[ Outlaw ]-' | C [ "Whine" Bloom ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ Altair ]-. | T |-[ Tiger Claw ]-. | [ Tiger Claw ]-' | | A |--[ Tiger Claw ]-' [ (J) ]-. | |-[ Psycho ]-' [ Subway Psycho ]-' TD: Who's going to be our finalist, Steve? SR: I don't know, Dross. If it were a simple case of Claw vs. Outlaw, then I'd never be able to make a prediction - however, with the Horsemen behind him, I think the Outlaw will go all the way. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: The following contest is the first semi-final in tonight's tournament. It is scheduled for one fall and has a forty-five minute time limit... Outlaw vs. Tiger Claw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Tiger Claw comes to the ring accompanied by Brian Lau to a big heel pop. The Outlaw also comes out to a big heel pop, bringing Flare and Bodybag with him. Lau immediately jumps into the ring, and commands the referee to banish the other Horsemen from ringside. The Horsemen catch wind of this, and they all enter the ring. There then ensues a three-on-one battle before the bell has even been rung. Lau and Claw are both on the receiving end of a vicious team assault.] TD: The referee's lost control of this one! SR: What are you talking about, Dross? He never _had_ control! [Eventually, Claw seems to rally, and takes out each of the Horsemen with a martial arts kick. Flare and Bodybag roll out of the ring, and the Outlaw is left leaning up against the turnbuckles. Finally the referee signals for the match to begin, and Claw immediately goes to work on the Outlaw with his knee fury. He whips the stunned Outlaw into the ropes, and hits the spinning round shin kick. Outlaw goes down. Claw climbs to the top rope, and bides his time. The Outlaw staggers to his feet, and Claw hits his Golden Tiger Strike, a flying knee strike to the head. The Outlaw goes down. Cover - 1 - 2 - the Outlaw gets his foot on the ropes!] TD: The Outlaw's living on borrowed time here, Steve. SR: You're right, Dross. I thought Claw had him for sure there. [Outlaw rolls out of the ring, and is supported by the other Horsemen. Claw sizes them up, then attempts a plancha dive onto the trio from the ring. Flare sees it coming, and pushes his compatriots out of the way. Claw hits the steel railings hard. Lau immediately leaps to the apron, attracting the attention of the referee, trying to stop the match, but this serves only to allow the Horsemen the opportunity to pummel Claw with kicks and punches.] TD: The Horsemen are out of control! Lau needs to get his man out of there! SR: I can't see Claw bouncing back from this, Dross - no matter what kind of Thai-boxing experience he's had. [The Horsemen roll a battered Claw into the ring, and the Outlaw follows him back in. The Outlaw hits a legdrop, and delivers an elbow from the second buckle, then drags Claw to his feet. He delivers a Cattle Buster DDT. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: I can't believe it! How tenacious can Tiger Claw be? SR: He is the epitome of conditioning, Dross. You try fighting three Thai boxing matches in a night and still walking out of there. Claw is a phenomenal athlete. [The Outlaw is clearly frustrated, and begins stomping on Claw's head. He drags him to his feet again, and rakes his face along the ropes, then does a quick go-behind, delivering a snap belly-to-back suplex into a bridge. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Again Claw escapes with a fraction of a second to spare. The Outlaw delivers another volley of high-impact moves: a powerslam, a swinging punch, a legdrop. Claw is down again. Outlaw goes for the cover, and Bodybag grabs Claw's leg from the outside to keep it on the mat. The count: 1 - 2 - Claw struggles to kick out but can't! - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: The Outlaw! [Lau goes nuts and enters the ring. He gets in the referee's face, but the ref is having none of it. Then Lau pushes the referee, and begins hitting him. The Horsemen see that trouble is brewing, and leave ringside amidst the jeers of the crowd. Claw remains motionless in the ring. The timekeeper repeatedly rings the bell as the ref is attacked by chops from Lau. Suddenly the crowd explodes into a big pop as the Angel of the Sun comes tearing down the aisle, leaping into the ring and hitting Lau with a flying spinning leg lariat. Lau is knocked out cold. Then Claw staggers to his feet, sees Matsuoko in the ring, and the two begin brawling. A swarm of officials and wrestlers come down the aisle and try to separate the two athletes, but they brawl all the way up the aisle and into the locker room area with punches, kicks and martial arts moves. A referee assists Lau from the ring.] TD: Whoa, what action we saw there! SR: But now we know our first finalist: the Outlaw! I told you, Dross - he's going to go all the way to the gold! TD: Okay, let's have a look at how Bracket B stands: 1st Round (15) 2nd Round (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ El Lobo Negro ]-. |-[ Casey ]-. [ Casey James ]-' | B |-[ Bodybag ]-. R [ Brad Kinder ]-. | | A |-[ Bodybag ]-' | C [ Don Antonio ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ Mr. Blu Tone ]-. | T |-[ 'Bringer ]-. | [ Deathbringer ]-' | | B |-[ Kauffman ]-' [ (J) ]-. | |-[ Kauffman ]-' [ Dan Kauffman ]-' SR: This is going to be interesting. I'd definitely go with Bodybag over that loudmouth Dan Kauffman... but that would give us two out of the three finalists as Horsemen! TD: You're right, Steve. This semi-final has the potential of creating a very interesting final. And I'd be inclined to go with Bodybag in this one too, since Kauffman is known to be nursing a knee injury from his match with Deathbringer. SR: I hope Bodybag snaps Kauffman's leg like a twig! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Brad "Bodybag" Kinder vs. Dan "Flash" Kauffman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Brad Kinder comes to the ring to a big heel pop, accompanied by Flare.] TD: I presume the Outlaw is preparing for his final match of the evening! SR: Or maybe he's out back with Victoria... TD: Will you please stop! ["Black Cat" blares out over the PA, but Kauffman is nowhere to be seen. The big pop subsides, but within a few seconds, Kauffman appears at the head of the aisle, and the fans cheer him. He seems to be favouring his right leg slightly, but he looks as determined as ever.] TD: I told you Kauffman was all heart! Here he comes, and I bet he'll give it all he's got, as always. [Kauffman enters the ring, and Bodybag immediately goes to work on the injured knee of Kauffman. Big heel pop as Kinder kicks and stamps on Dan's leg, laying it across the ropes and stamping on it, even wrapping it round the ringpost. Dan flails with his arms, but is unable to strike Kinder with any of his swipes. Kinder begins to pull out his big power-moves. He drags Dan to his feet and hits him with a gut-wrench powerbomb. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Kinder goes for a DDT. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Becoming more frustrated, he Irish whips Kauffman to the buckle, and follows him in with a splash, then performs a head scissors take down and sends Kauffman flying into the centre of the ring. He then climbs to the top turnbuckle and attempts a splash on Kauffman, but Dan sticks his legs up, and Kinder gets a face-full of knee. Big pop as Kauffman gets to his feet for practically the first time in the match. He and Kinder slug it out, and Dan gets the advantage. He throws Kinder into the ropes, and executes a stunning tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Kinder as he comes off the ropes. Big pop. The move takes a lot out of both men, and the referee begins the count. Both men struggle to their feet at about the four mark, and Kauffman suddenly cinches Bodybag into a small package. 1 - 2 - Kick out! Bodybag is furious, and whips Kauffman into the ropes, but Flare grabs Dan's legs as he hits the ropes. The referee sees, and remonstrates with Flare. He signals that Flare must leave ringside. Big crowd pop. Flare refuses to go. The ring announcer is beckoned once more:] RA: The referee has informed me that unless Flare leaves ringside immediately, Brad "Bodybag" Kinder shall be disqualified. [Big pop again. Flare reluctantly leaves ringside, and Kinder and Kauffman get back to the match.] TD: Wow, this is an epic battle we're witnessing here, Steve! SR: Yeah - but if you think Flare leaving ringside is going to upset Kinder, you're wrong. He'll still take it to Kauffman like there's no tomorrow. [Kauffman and Kinder once again slug it out in the centre of the ring. Kauffman ducks under a round-house, performs a quick go-behind, and pulls off a back suplex, sending Kinder flying out of the ring through the second and third ropes! Huge pop!] SR: Holy sh*t! Kinder must've knocked himself out on those steel railings! [Kauffman waits for Kinder to stir, and get to his feet, and then performs a cross-body block out of the ring, beween the top two ropes. Kinder is floored once again, and Kauffman pounds on him. The crowd is really behind Kauffman now. Kauffman picks up Kinder and rolls him back into the ring. He pushes Kinder into the corner, and hoists him up onto the top rope. He performs a superplex on Bodybag. Big pop. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Kauffman is relentless, and quickly applies the Falcon Leglock on Kinder. Bodybag screams in pain, but doesn't appear to submit.] TD: There's no way Bodybag will be able to sustain this excruciating hold for too long... I've never seen anyone escape it. SR: Don't count him out yet, Dross. The Horsemen have a lot of fight in them! [Kinder is screaming in pain. Kauffman yanks back on Bodybag's legs, but Kinder will not submit. Kauffman releases the hold, and drags Kinder to his feet. He whips Kinder into the ropes, and ducks Bodybag's attempted Lariat clothesline, then performs the Powerplant, a devastating spinning spinebuster. Cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: Dan "Flash Kauffman! [The referee raises Kauffman's arm in victory. Huge crowd pop. Suddenly the other Horsemen run to the ring and attack the exhausted Kauffman. They are all over him like flies, the Outlaw performing his DDT, and Flare locking him in the Figure Four Leglock while the Outlaw stomps him into the canvas. It takes another swarm of referees and officials to stop the assault.] TD: This is ridiculous! We've got to have some kind of protection against the Horsemen! SR: What are you talking about, Dross? You mean these guys ought not to look out for one another? Give me a break! [The ring is cleared, and Kauffman staggers to his feet. His forehead is busted open, and his knee injury is further exacerbated by Flare's Figure Four, but he manages to leave the ring under his own steam, to a massive ovation.] TD: Wow, what an athlete Kauffman is! He really can take a beating and keep on going - but what kind of shape is he going to be in for the final? SR: If he even makes it to the final, Dross, he'll be the first man eliminated, for sure. TD: We'll see. Right now it's time for our third semi-final. Let's take a look at Bracket C: 1st Round (15) 2nd Round (30) Semi-final (45) Final (no limit) [ Billy Shakespeare ]-. |-[ Billy ]-. [ Simon Lebec ]-' | B |-[ Billy ]-. R [ (J) ]-. | | A |-[ Moondust ]-' | C [ Mystery Participant ]-' | K |--[ ] E [ (J) ]-. | T |-[ Starks ]-. | [ Tony Starks ]-' | | C |-[ Starks ]-' [ Venusian Death Cell ]-. | |-[ BYE ]-' [ Jack Haley ]-' SR: It's obvious who's going to win this one, Dross. Starks has only wrestled one match tonight, and he hardly broke a sweat. Shakespeare, on the other hand, has wrestled two very gruelling matches. I don't think the little puke's going to present much of a problem to Starks. TD: Well, we'll see about that. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] Tony Starks vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Starks comes out to a mixed reception - some fans cheer him, others boo him. He still doesn't appear to care either way. He gets into the ring. "Little Willie" blares out over the PA and Shakespeare makes his entrance, bowing to the fans at the head of the aisle. He looks a little battered, but just as flamboyant as ever. He comes to the ring, and points at Starks as if to say, "You're mine!" Then he hops onto the apron and climbs into the ring. He bows again for the fans. Big pop.] TD: The fans really love Billy! SR: Why? What do they know about fine literature? Hey, for that matter, what does Shakespeare know about fine literature? TD: What do you mean, Steve? SR: Has he ever read any Mills & Boon? TD: Oh, good grief. Let's get down to action. [Starks and Billy lock up. Starks takes the early advantage with a side headlock. Billy pushes him into the ropes. Starks ducks a clothesline. Billy leapfrogs Starks, then monkeyflips him as he comes off the ropes for a third time. Starks gets immediately to his feet and storms in at Billy, who ducks out of the way, tripping Starks with a drop toe-hold. Starks gets up again. Billy bows at Starks. Big pop.] SR: Arrogant little puke! [Moondust appears at the head of the aisle. Heel reaction spreads throughout the crowd. Moondust slowly minces down the aisle, as Shakespeare and Starks exchange blows in the centre of the ring.] TD: I don't think Billy's seen Moondust yet. SR: But when he does - it'll be love at first sight! TD: Will you please stop! [Billy turns and sees Moondust blow a kiss from the aisle. He shouts something at Moondust, but Starks rolls Billy up from behind. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: Moondust nearly cost Billy the match right there! SR: Shakespeare shouldn't be so easily distracted. [The match continues, Billy unable to get any continuity in his offence. Moondust is putting him off-balance. The androgynous one pulls up a chair around ringside and applauds whenever Shakespeare pulls off a good move. The momentum swings backwards and forwards between Starks and Shakespeare until Billy is whipped into the ropes. Starks bounces off the other side, and the two clash in the centre of the ring with a double clothesline. Both men go down, and the referee starts the count. Starks is first to move, and applies the Kneelock Submission on Shakespeare in the centre of the ring. Billy screams in pain, but refuses to submit. Billy inches towards the ropes, finally grabbing them and forcing Starks to break the hold. Billy limps to his feet, and Starks works on Billy's weakened knee. He takes Billy down to the mat again and applies another kneelock. To add insult to injury, he begins slapping Billy around the face. Suddenly, Moondust leaps to his feet and bounds into the ring, raining blows down on Starks. The referee immediately disqualifies Shakespeare. Big heel pop.] RA: Here is your winner, by disqualification: Tony Starks! [Moondust forces Starks out of the ring, and then bends over Billy, who immediately gouges Moondust's eyes. He gets to his feet and piledrives Moondust, clearly irate that he cost him a chance at the final. Referees attempt to separate them, but they brawl all the way down the aisle and into the locker room area.] TD: I think it's safe to say that Moondust has made quite an impression on little Billy Shakespeare! SR: Too right! I hope he kicks seven shades of Shakespeare out of the little runt! TD: The fans here seem as upset as I am that Billy's match was cut short like that... SR: Huh! They should be grateful. Peons. TD: Will you please stop! Anyway, we now have our three finalists: the Outlaw, Dan "Flash" Kauffman and Tony Starks. That promises to be a fantastic final to tonight's astounding tournament! SR: And my money's on the Outlaw to go all the way! TD: Well, we'll see about that. We're only minutes away from the crowning of the first ever IIWF Tag Team Champions. Let's remind ourselves of the six teams entered in tonight's battle royal: [Cut to graphics of each team in turn] The High Plains Drifters - Pale and Easy Rider are keen to take home the gold. SR: And I think under normal circumstances, they could do it, Dross. But tonight's going to be the night of another team - Steamroller! TD: Steamroller, Taylor and Brassow, are top contenders indeed, but you can't forget about the crazy Alphabet Boys... SR: Those two guys are nuts. If brains were dynamite, between them they wouldn't have enough to singe their eyebrows! TD: But they're great athletes - who'll use anything and everything at their disposal to win. SR: And how about the Rising Sun Revolution... a good team, but they've come to America on the wrong night in search of conquest! TD: We'll see about that. Also entered are the United Nations, Jacques K. Vorkian and Tora Tora Tora... SR: Maybe we should just call that guy T3 for short. TD: Okay... don't forget the dynamic High Velocity, too. SR: I'm afraid even the management of the Senator can't help this team's prospects. I'm with Steamroller all the way. TD: We'll find out soon enough! [Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: The following contest is a special Battle Royal match to determine the first IIWF World Tag Team Champions! [Big pop] The rules are as follows: all six teams begin in the ring, and the match continues until representatives, either singly or both members, of two teams are left in the ring. Then the match becomes a tag team match with the stipulations of no countouts, and no disqualifications. There must be a winner! [Big pop] IIWF Tag Team Championship Battle Royal ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Alright! Let's get down to action. I'm really looking forward to this one, Steve. SR: Me too. This is going to be great. [The teams come to the ring in turn, to various crowd responses: the Drifters get a moderate heel pop; Steamroller get a moderate heel pop; the Alphabet Boys come out to mixed reactions; High Velocity get a moderate face pop; Rising Sun Revolution come out to a good pop; and the United Nations also come out to a favourable crowd reaction.] TD: Whoa, the ring's really filled up now! SR: Twelve of the finest athletes in tag team competition in the world today all in the same ring - it doesn't get much better than this, Dross... until Steamroller lift those belts, that is. [Ding! Ding! Ding! The match begins, and immediately chaos breaks out. Everyone beats on everyone else, and the Alphabet Boys even occasionally throw punches at one another. High Velocity single out the Drifters and begin beating on Pale Rider. They double-team him in the corner, while Easy is distracted by the United Nations. Suddenly, Metro hoists Pale Rider up onto his shoulders, and he is dropkicked by his partner T. Rowe, sending Pale Rider flying over the top rope and practically into the front row of the stands. Big pop.] RA: Pale Rider has been eliminated! SR: Ouch! That's gotta hurt, Dross! TD: You're telling me - that was one of the most heart-stopping moments of the evening! The referees are tending to Pale - he seems to be okay. Amazing! [The chaos continues in the ring. Easy Rider goes after T. Rowe of High Velocity in vengeance for the fate of his partner, and almost has him over the ropes. However, Brassow (Steamroller) lifts Easy off the canvas, overbalancing him as he tried to eliminate Rowe, and both Rowe and Easy are eliminated.] RA: T. Rowe has been eliminated! Easy Rider has been eliminated! The High Plains Drifters are out! [Easy Rider is incensed, and he and Rowe continue their brawl on the outside as the match continues on the inside. Taylor and Brassow double-team Abie (Alphabet Boys) while T3 and Vorkian go to work on Hiroshi (Rising Sun). Metro, meanwhile, slugs it out with Ryudu (Rising Sun). Metro gets Ryudu into the corner, and climbs to the second buckle. He pounds on Ryudu's face, and the crowd chant along, but the chant is stopped as Zed of the Alphabet Boys launches himself at Metro, knocking him out of the ring over the ring post and all the way to the floor.] RA: Metro has been eliminated! High Velocity are out! [Metro struggles to his feet, and joins his partner T. Rowe in battling Easy Rider halfway down the aisle. Zed turns and sees his partner being beaten on, so he goes over and gives Steamroller a hand.] TD: Look! Zed's beating on Abie! SR: I told you those two are nuts! How can they hope to win the titles if they're going to spend the whole time fighting amongst themselves? [Zed comes to his senses, and both he and Abie launch an attack on Steamroller. Hiroshi turns the tables on Vorkian, and almost has him over the ropes. Vorkian rolls back in under the bottom rope, and grabs Hiroshi's leg. T3 dropkicks the impeded Hiroshi, who goes over the top rope in a spin. Big pop again.] RA: Hiroshi Kasai has been eliminated! TD: I guess these tag team wrestlers aren't used to battle royal wrestling; they're making a lot of mistakes. SR: You're right. I can't see this thing going much longer - there's five gone already, and two teams are gone altogether. [Ryudu attacks Vorkian, who has not yet got to his feet. He whips him into the ropes, and hits him with a spinning martial arts kick as he comes back off the ropes. Big pop. Ryudu attempts to hoist Vorkian up onto his shoulders, but Vorkian is dead weight, and he can't do it. Abie jumps Ryudu from behind. Zed jumps Abie from behind. Abie turns and the two of them fight again. They end up against the ropes, raining punches on one another. Spotting an opportunity, everyone else (who is standing, that is) swarms over to the side of the ring and hoists both of the Alphabet Boys over the top rope and to the outside. They don't even seem to notice, and carry on fighting one another.] RA: Abie and Zed have been eliminated! The Alphabet Boys are out! TD: So now we're down to Steamroller, the United Nations, and Ryudu of Rising Sun Revolution. SR: And as I predicted, Steamroller are cleaning house! [Vorkian staggers to his feet, and is blindsided by Taylor, who nails him with a vicious forearm. Taylor clotheslines the stunned Vorkian over the ropes.] RA: Jacques K. Vorkian has been eliminated! [Taylor stands to gloat at the side of the ring, but the powerful Vorkian is suddenly overcome with anger, and grabs Taylor's arm. T3 delivers a standing kick to the back of Taylor's head, and Taylor goes sailing out of the ring.] RA: Taylor has been eliminated! SR: Aw, come on! Give me a break! Vorkian was eliminated! He had no business grabbing Taylor's arm! TD: Steve, this is a battle royal - anything goes! [In the ring, Ryudu is battling Brassow, and T3 stands by the ropes, regrouping. Ryudu and Brassow rain blows on one another, with uppercuts, punches, chops and forearms, and entangled, they end up against the ropes. T3 again senses an opportunity, and bounces off the ropes to deliver a flying dropkick on the other two men. Both go sailing over the top rope, and hit the floor. There is some confusion as to who hit the floor first.] TD: Well, we know one of the two teams to battle for the belts - the United Nations! SR: [watching the mayhem of referees around ringside] Come on, who hit the ground first?! [IIWF President Dan Spreadbury comes to ringside with another referee. They go over to the huddle of referees and the ring announcer. After some deliberation, the following announcement is made. Hush falls over the crowd:] RA: I have been informed by the IIWF President that he has watched a slow motion replay of the final elimination, and has discerned that Ryudu Kenjinata's feet touched the ground first. Therefore, Brassow is not eliminated, and Steamroller will face the United Nations for the IIWF Tag Team Championships! [Big crowd reaction. Brassow immediately leaps back into the ring and starts beating on T3. Ryudu can't believe it, and strikes the ring apron in disappointment.] TD: Well, let's take a look at that replay for ourselves, just to make it clear: [Cut to several slow motion replays of the final elimination. Each shows that Ryudu's feet touch the floor first by a fraction of a second.] I think that's pretty conclusive. The right decision made by our President. SR: For once that idiot did make the right decision. Miracles do happen! TD: But now we need to get some control in the ring. Brassow's all over Tora Tora Tora! [Taylor and Vorkian return to the ring, and get up onto the apron in their respective corners. Steamroller's manager, Dave Albanese, also makes his way jubilantly to ringside. One of the referees enters the ring, and the other officials leave ringside. The bell rings and the tag title match proper is underway.] TD: These guys can't have too much left after that gruelling showdown! SR: I think the superior conditioning of Steamroller is going to prove decisive here, Dross. TD: Vorkian has tremendous power, Steve, and Tora is faster than lightning. I wouldn't be so quick to discount the United Nations. [Tora attempts to tag in his partner, but Brassow is doing a good job of cutting the ring in half. Brassow props T3 up in his corner, and he and Taylor viciously double-team him, using the five-second legal time between tags to great advantage. Tora is reeling.] SR: Now that's great teamwork, Dross! [T3 is down. Taylor comes off the top rope with a splash. Big heel pop. Tora tries to roll towards his corner, but Taylor grabs hold of his leg with one hand, and tags in Brassow with the other. Brassow immediately applies the Figure Four on T3, who screams in agony. Vorkian attempts to storm the ring, but his entry is prevented by the referee. Behind the ref's back, Taylor untapes his wrists and begins choking Tora. Big heel pop. Taylor ducks out of the ring as the referee turns again. Tora tries to inch towards the ropes. Vorkian gets the crowd behind his partner by stamping his foot on the apron. The crowd starts chanting "Tora! Tora! Tora!", and finally Tora makes it to the ropes. Big pop as the hold is broken. Brassow whips Tora into the ropes, and bounces off the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. They collide in the centre of the ring with a double clothesline. Both men go down, and the referee begins the count. - 3 - 4 - Tora begins to stir, and starts to roll towards the wrong corner. The count is broken.] TD: Tora doesn't know where he is right now, Steve. [Tora struggles to his feet in the wrong corner. The crowd bellow at him to make the tag. Brassow rolls towards his own corner and tags in Taylor. As Taylor storms across the ring, Tora lunges at Vorkian's outstretched hand, and just makes the tag! Big crowd pop as Vorkian comes into the ring. He scoops and slams Taylor, then misses an elbow drop. Taylor comes off the ropes at Vorkian, who executes a stunning Frankensteiner. Cover - 1 - 2 - Taylor kicks out!] TD: Wow, what a move. Vorkian is a real powerhouse, Steve! SR: He's sure no powerhouse in the intellectual department, though, Dross. [Vorkian pummels the stunned Taylor, who rolls out of the ring. Vorkian tags in the recuperating Tora, and then performs a stunning move. Vorkian stands with his back to the ropes, Tora comes across the ring with a flying cross body, is caught by Vorkian, who then powers Tora over the top rope with a fallaway slam, the full brunt of the impact landing on Taylor. Huge pop!] TD: Holy cow! What kind of a move do you call that, Steve? SR: A stupid one. Tora could have been killed. TD: Hey, you've got to take risks in the IIWF - and the fans love it! [A brawl erupts outside the ring as Brassow jumps Tora, while Albanese distracts the referee. Vorkian comes off the apron and nails Brassow, and a four-way melee begins. Vorkian rams Brassow's head into the ring post, and Tora piledrives Taylor on the concrete.] TD: Looks like Steamroller are being steamrolled, Steve! SR: Shut up, Dross! It ain't over 'til the fat referee counts to three in this one. [The referee attempts to regain control of the match, and Taylor is rolled into the ring by Tora, who flips over the top rope with a somersault onto Taylor. Cover: 1 - 2 - Taylor barely kicks out. Tora takes Taylor to his feet and tags in Vorkian. He whips Taylor into the ropes as Vorkian enters, and Vorkian applies the "Terminal Illness" sleeper on the rebound. Taylor goes down almost immediately.] TD: Now this is a very dangerous hold, Steve. Vorkian knows just where the pressure points are - he can put you out like a light in a hurry. [The referee goes to raise Taylor's arm to see if he is still conscious, but is distracted by Dave Albanese leaping onto the apron. T3 goes after Albanese, dragging him off the apron, and hits him with a superkick. However, while the referee is remonstrating with Tora, Brassow grabs the timekeeper's bell, leaps to the top rope and clouts Vorkian round the head with it. There is a sickening "clang" and Vorkian goes down, out cold. Brassow drops the bell, and rolls Taylor onto Vorkian. The referee turns, and begins the count. 1 - T3 sees what has happened and dives into the ring - 2 - Brassow nails Tora with the bell as he storms towards his partner - 3! The referee signals for the timekeeper to ring the bell, but of course the bell is in the ring.] TD: I know this match was no DQ, no countout - but this is ridiculous! We have two unconscious men in the ring... SR: ... and the first IIWF World Tag Team Champions! I told you so, Dross! Steamroller have taken the gold! [The referee communicates the result to the ring announcer:] RA: Here are your winners - and NEW IIWF World Tag Team Champions - Steamroller! [Huge heel pop. IIWF President Dan Spreadbury comes down the aisle with two gleaming gold belts, which are snatched from him by Albanese, who holds them aloft in jubilation. Taylor and Brassow roll out of the ring, exhausted, and allow Albanese to lay the belts across their shoulders. Brassow holds his clenched fist aloft. The fans start throwing objects at Steamroller as they make their way up the aisle to their theme music, "Steamroller" by Elvis Presley.] TD: Well, you were right, Steve. Steamroller did go all the way, but I don't think too many fans are too happy with the way it went. I'm going to go and get word about this controversial result from the IIWF President himself. SR: Fine, you do that - maybe they'll clear those carcasses out the ring while you're gone. [Dross leaves the broadcast table and takes a microphone to IIWF President Dan Spreadbury. The crowd hushes as the interview comes over the PA.] TD: President Dan, I realise that the tag title match was to be fought with no DQ and no countout, but that last result in my opinion, and the opinion of the fans, made a mockery of the IIWF! DS: Tim Dross, I appreciate that some of the fans may not be happy with the way things turned out here tonight, but I'm of the opinion that once you make the rules, you stick by them. Steamroller won this match by means within the boundaries defined by the rules - and therefore the result stands. However, I feel that the United Nations have a good claim to a rematch with Steamroller, so as soon as they are fit and able to wrestle such a match, I will sign it. [Big pop for the United Nations, who are now leaving the ring, assisted by a number of officials.] TD: That sounds reasonable. Now, we're fast approaching the final of tonight's tournament. We've seen some phenomenal action so far, but there seems to be a recurring theme: the interference of the Horsemen. In the final, the Outlaw, Tony Starks and Dan "Flash" Kauffman will be doing battle in a very gruelling matchup. Can you guarantee that the Horsemen will not interfere? DS: Of course outside interference is of very great concern to me. And don't forget that it hasn't just been the Horsemen. Nevertheless, I appreciate that the fans want to see a clean result in the final, and so I propose that Flare and Brad Kinder be prevented from interfering. TD: How would you plan to do that? DS: By having them suspended in cages above the ring! [Big pop] TD: President Dan, thanks for your time. [Dross returns to the broadcast table. "Soundbite" Steve Roberts doesn't look pleased by the news.] SR: Suspended in a cage?! What kind of stupid ruling is that?! TD: It makes perfect sense, Steve. The Horsemen have interfered in every single match they've had an interest in tonight. We want a clean finish to the tournament! SR: Bah! I can't believe it! TD: Right now, fans, let's remind ourselves of how our three finalists battled their way to the last hurdle before the biggest prize of them all: [Cut to various scenes from earlier matches in the evening under Dross' commentary.] The Outlaw stormed through the opening round with a victory over snivelling Scott "the Whine" Bloom, and then progressed past the "Angel of the Sun" only thanks to the interference of his fellow Horsemen. He defeated Tiger Claw in the semi-finals to earn his place in the triangle match. Dan "Flash" Kauffman has practically been to hell and back in his quest for the gold - although he progressed quickly into the second round, he injured his knee in his match with Deathbringer, in which he pulled off a stunning pinfall victory. In the semi-finals, his knee injury was further exacerbated, but he progressed past Brad Kinder, despite the interference of the Horsemen. Tony Starks had it easiest of all on his way to the final. He received a bye into the semi-finals, where he battled "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. He was victorious by disqualification when poor Billy's jilted admirer Moondust interfered in the match. As far as I'm concerned, this undefeated athlete is the clear favourite in this match. SR: Well, until that idiot President put the Horsemen out of commission, I would be going with my man the Outlaw - but now I'd agree with you, Dross. Starks is going to be the first IIWF World Heavyweight Champion! [While this exchange has been going on, two cages have been erected and lowered into the ring. The ring announcer speaks:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, in the following match, Flare and Brad "Bodybag" Kinder will be suspended in cages above the ring to prevent their interference. [Big pop. Flare and Bodybag come out accompanied by several referees, who ensure that they enter the cages, which are then locked shut. The crowd gives a big pop as they are raised above the ring to a height of about thirty feet. Spotlights pick out the disgruntled Horsemen inside.] TD: If the Horsemen can interfere from that distance, I'll eat my hat! SR: You don't have a hat, Dross. Why don't you eat your toupee instead? TD: Will you please stop! [The ring announcer takes the ring again:] RA: The following contest is a three-way dance triangle match to crown the first IIWF World Heavyweight Champion! [Big pop.] The rules of this match are as follows: there are no disqualifications and no countouts. Legally, two men may be in the ring at any one time, and the third man must stand in a corner waiting to be tagged in. The match continues until two men have been eliminated by pinfall or submission - the last man standing is the Champion! [Big pop.] SR: Did you catch all those rules, Dross, or was that a bit too complex for you?! TD: [despairingly] Give me a break! RA: Introducing first, hailing from parts unknown and weighing in at 353lbs, the Outlaw! [The Outlaw comes out to a big heel pop.] RA: The second participant, hailing from Staten Island, New York, and weighing in at 269lbs, Tony Starks! [Starks comes out to mixed reactions. Some of the crowd are on their feet in support, others to hurl abuse.] RA: The final participant, hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland, and weighing in at 230lbs, Dan "Flash" Kauffman! [Kauffman comes out to a big face pop. He is still favouring his right knee, and looks generally battered, but the grimace of determination on his face is still intact. All three men stand in the ring, facing one another.] TD: Alright, we're ready to go with his huge matchup! [Ding! Ding! Ding! Starks makes for the ropes, and bows out of the ring, meaning that the Outlaw and Kauffman will start things off. The two legal men lock up, Kauffman getting the early advantage with a side headlock. Outlaw pushes him into the ropes, and leapfrogs him on the way back, then performs a drop toe-hold on Kauffman and applies a leg grapevine, immediately going to work on Dan's injured knee. Kauffman grabs the ropes, and Outlaw breaks the hold. Outlaw repeatedly kicks Kauffman in the knee. He drags Kauffman to his feet and whips him into the ropes, hitting him with a Western lariat on the rebound. Kauffman's head is nearly taken off, and he turns through 360 degrees. Big heel pop as Outlaw stands in the ring over Kauffman. Outlaw stomps Kauffman's knee again, and once more goes for a leg grapevine. Dan inches towards the ropes and manages to grab them. Outlaw releases the hold, and again drags Kauffman to his feet. He whips Dan into the ropes again, but Kauffman grabs hold of the ropes, and slides out of the ring to try and regroup. The Outlaw goes out after him, and kicks him in the midsection. Kauffman is bent double, and the Outlaw capitalises, performing the Cattle Buster onto the arena floor. Big pop.] TD: Oh my! Kauffman has gotta be out after that! SR: That was great, Dross! You could almost hear his skull fracture as his head hit the floor! TD: You're sick, Steve! [Outlaw rolls Kauffman back into the ring, and covers him: 1 - 2 - Kauffman just manages to put a foot on the ropes!] TD: How on earth did Kauffman have the presence of mind to get his feet on the ropes? SR: That loud-mouth ought to have been out of this match right there! [Outlaw drags Kauffman to his feet and whips him into the ropes. The two men collide in the centre of the ring with a double clothesline. Both go down. Kauffman begins to stir, and rolls towards the corner where Starks is standing. Just as the Outlaw makes a lunge for Kauffman's legs, Dan reaches out an arm and tags in Starks. Starks comes into the ring like a whirlwind, kicking Kauffman off the apron and to the arena floor, and immediately getting into a slugfest with the Outlaw. He whips the Outlaw into the ropes, and hits a superb powerslam. He drops an elbow on the Outlaw, but misses with a legdrop. Both men back to their feet, Outlaw pushes Starks into the corner of the ring. Outlaw attempts to whip Starks into the opposite corner, but Starks reverses. Outlaw shoots inbetween the first and second buckles and hits his shoulder on the ring post. Big pop.] TD: Ouch! That's got to hurt! SR: He hit that post with such force I swear the ring moved about a foot! [Outlaw is nursing his injured shoulder, and is immediately scooped up by Starks for a shoulderbreaker. Outlaw is down, and Starks uncharacteristically goes onto the turnbuckles. He attempts an elbow drop, but the Outlaw rolls out of the way, and makes a break for Kauffman's corner. Dan has returned to the apron, although he still looks very weary. Outlaw makes the tag, and Kauffman enters the ring. He leaps cat-like to the top turnbuckle and crouches there, waiting for Starks to get to his feet and turn around. He launches himself like a missile with a flying shoulder-block on Starks, who goes down hard. Kauffman gets to his feet and again goes to the top rope, this time hitting a stunning reverse moonsault on Starks. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Starks kicks out with some authority, and is quite quickly back to his feet. He takes the advantage in the ensuing slugfest, and whips Kauffman into the ropes. As Kauffman comes off the ropes, Starks ducks down and picks up Dan by the waist, falling backwards, which sends Dan throat-first onto the top rope. Big pop. Starks goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] SR: I told you Starks was going to wipe the mat with Kauffman. Look at the little brat clutching his throat for air! This is great! [Starks takes advantage of Kauffman's immobility, and applies the Figure Four on Dan's legs. Dan is still feeling the effects of the rope bump, and is now in real pain. After about a minute in the hold, the crowd really starts getting behind Dan again, chanting "Kauff-man! Kauff-man! Kauff-man!". Dan manages to roll over onto his front, reversing the effects of the hold. Starks cries out, but reaches behind to the ropes, and the referee untangles their legs. Starks is not badly affected by the hold, as he gets to his feet and begins stomping on Kauffman.] TD: Kauffman is absorbing an incredible amount of punishment. I can't see him lasting much longer in this one! [Starks drags Kauffman to his feet and whips him into the buckle, face first. Kauffman hits hard, and Starks follows him in with a splash. He then lifts Kauffman and places him on the top turnbuckle. He attempts a superplex, but Kauffman blocks the hold. They begin a slugfest, Kauffman precariously on the top buckle and Starks on the second. Starks hits Kauffman with a particularly huge haymaker, and Kauffman loses his balance. He crashes down onto the timekeeper's table, smashing it. Huge pop.] TD: Oh my! That's it, that's ended Kauffman's career! He just plunged twelve feet onto the timekeeper's table! He's out, he's not moving! SR: That was the greatest thing I've ever seen! Wow! [Starks goes out of the ring and picks up Kauffman. He rolls him back into the ring. The crowd are going nuts, a sustained heel pop at deafening volume. Starks stands above the motionless body of Kauffman and holds his hand aloft. The pop grows even more deafening. Starks drags Kauffman to his feet, and wraps him up into a small package. Count - 1 - Suddenly the Outlaw springs into the ring - 2 - he rolls Starks over so that Starks shoulders are the ones on the mat - the referee hesitates and begins a new count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and Gentlemen, Tony Starks has been pinned by Dan "Flash" Kauffman. He is eliminated from this matchup! TD: [incredulous] What did the Outlaw do that for, Steve? SR: [euphoric] Don't you get it, Dross? If the Outlaw eliminates Starks, he only has to deal with Kauffman, who's unconscious! The man's a genius! [Starks is furious. He jumps to his feet and he and the Outlaw begin brawling in the ring. Starks blocks the Outlaw's haymaker, and wallops him one, taking him off his feet. He turns to remonstrate with the referee, who is adamant that the decision should stand, and meanwhile, the Outlaw removes the belt from his trousers. He gets to his feet, and viciously starts lashing Starks with the belt. Starks bails out of the ring, his back lacerated by the buckle. He stands in the aisle and points at the Outlaw, hurling abuse. The crowd almost cheer Starks as he leaves the ringside area. Meanwhile, the Outlaw turns his attention back to Kauffman, who is still out. He brings the still unconscious Kauffman to his feet, and performs a Cattle Buster DDT on him. The crowd are on their feet, and the heel pop is still deafening.] TD: This is unbelievable. What kind of a man is the Outlaw? [The Outlaw looks up towards the two suspended cages, and seems to signal that "This one's for Flare!" He again DDTs Kauffman. He then signals that "This one's for Bodybag!", and once more executes a deadly DDT.] SR: I'll tell you what kind of a man the Outlaw is, Dross - a Horseman through and through! [The Outlaw finally covers Kauffman in the centre of the ring. The referee counts, although it seems to take a milennium - 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner - and the first IIWF World Heavyweight Champion - the Outlaw! [Objects hurled by the audience fill the ring. The Outlaw stands above the body of Dan Kauffman and allows the referee to raise his arm in victory.] TD: I can't believe what I've seen in this match! SR: I told you, Dross! I told you! I was right about Steamroller, and I was right about the Outlaw! Whooo! [IIWF President Dan Spreadbury again comes to ringside, bearing the gleaming gold IIWF World Heavyweight Championship belt. The cages are lowered, and Flare and Brad "Bodybag" Kinder join the Outlaw in the ring. The referee rolls Kauffman to safety on the arena floor, to prevent any further attack. President Dan enters the ring, and before he has even had a chance to present the belt to the Outlaw, Flare grabs it, and holds it high. He then straps it around the Outlaw's waist. President Dan shakes his head and leaves the ring, Bodybag hurling abuse at him as he goes. Bodybag and Flare hoist the Outlaw up onto their shoulders, and parade him around the ring. The boos and jeers are deafening.] TD: I can hardly hear myself think, Steve! Well, what a night of wrestling action we've seen here this evening. I can't remember anything quite like this in all my years in the sport. SR: For a change, Dross, you're right on the money there. I've never seen such a great night of wrestling in my whole life! Steamroller are the new IIWF World Tag Team Champions, and the Horsemen are taking home the World Heavyweight belt around the Outlaw's waist! Whooo! TD: That's all we have for you this evening, folks... so on behalf of my colleague "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross saying: so long, everybody! [As the Horsemen go down the aisle, the Outlaw proudly wearing the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship belt around his waist. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+