##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Saturday Night ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * 25th May 1996 * IIWF Coliseum [Shots of a capacity crowd all waving signs and cheering wildly. The camera pans down past the front row of ringside seats and comes to rest on Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum for more unbeatable IIWF wrestling action! I'm Tim Dross, and I'm here with my broadcast colleague, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: And don't you just feel so privileged? TD: Of course, Steve. Tensions have really been running high in the days since Coronation Clash blew the roof off this place, and once again we're going to see some real headline clashes tonight. Let's run down the card: IIWF World Tag Team Championship Match: Steamroller vs. United Nations TD: In a rematch of the final at last week's Coronation Clash, newly-crowned champs Steamroller will take on the United Nations in another battle for the gold. SR: And once again we're going to see Steamroller flatten the United Nations. I can't wait. High Plains Drifters vs. Rising Sun Revolution TD: Plus the High Plains Drifters will face Rising Sun Revolution in another great tag team encounter. SR: The Drifters will rope the Dragon and the Demon and truss them up right in the middle of the ring. IIWF Intercontinental Championship Battle Royal TD: And tonight's main event is a huge over-the-top-rope battle royal match, in which the last man standing will be crowned the first IIWF Intercontinental Champion! SR: Even better than that, Dross, we will be joined by the IIWF Heavyweight Champion, the Outlaw for commentary in that great matchup. I'm really looking forward to this! TD: Well, in the mean time, let's get down to the ring for tonight's opening matchup. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] High Plains Drifters vs. Rising Sun Revolution ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The theme from "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" blares out over the PA, and the High Plains Drifters come down the aisle, ignoring the jeering fans.] TD: You know, Steve, if the "Outlaw" Josey Wales has taught these boys even a fraction of the ways he knows how to hurt people, then Rising Sun Revolution are in big trouble here tonight. SR: The Drifters are a ruthless team. Those Japanese clowns are going to wish they never set foot on American soil after these dudes are done with them. TD: I wouldn't be so sure, Steve. Ryudu and Hiroshi have already built up a considerable fan following just in the past two weeks, and as far as I'm concerned, they've got all the essential characteristics of champions. SR: You're wrong there, Dross. There's one thing they don't have. TD: And what would that be, Steve? SR: The IIWF World Tag Team Championship. Steamroller are wearing it now, and Steamroller will be wearing it come the end of the evening too... TD: We'll see... [While this exchange has been going on, Pale and Easy have entered the ring and disrobed their cowboy garb. Rising Sun Revolution come out to a big face pop, and hi-five the fans on their way to the ring. As they work their way around ringside, hi-fiving all the cheering fans, Pale and Easy launch themselves over the top rope onto the unsuspecting Japanese wrestlers. Big heel pop as Pale and Easy each beat on the man they landed on.] TD: Now there was no need for that! SR: Sure there was. Ryudu and Hiroshi turned their backs on their opponents, and proved their naivety! The Drifters are ruthless, Dross, I told you! [Eventually, Ryudu and Hiroshi begin to get the upper hand. Ryudu whips Pale into the steel ring post, while Hiroshi whips Easy into the ring steps. Big pop. Rising Sun Revolution enter the ring and raise their hands aloft. Another big pop. The timekeeper rings his bell to signal the start of the match. Ryudu ducks out of the ring, and Easy Rider enters to face Hiroshi.] TD: Okay, maybe now we'll see some wrestling! [The two lock up. Easy gets the advantage, putting Hiroshi in a side headlock and pushing him into the ropes. Easy puts his head down in a backdrop attempt, but Hiroshi sees it coming and catches the Drifter in a swinging neckbreaker. Big pop. Easy clutches his head and Hiroshi allows him to tag in Pale Rider.] TD: Now this is a mistake. Hiroshi is a much bigger man than Pale Rider, and he'll be able to use that size and power advantage. [Pale charges the ring, and Hiroshi trips him with a drop toe-hold. Pale gets to his feet, and again charges Hiroshi, who catches him with a superkick. Big pop. Hiroshi stands in the centre of the ring and laughs, rather than going for the cover.] SR: What's that great buffoon laughing at, Dross? That wasn't funny! [Ryudu is tagged in, and he immediately bounds to the top rope, attempting a flying elbow smash onto Pale Rider, but the cowboy is playing possum, and rolls out of the way. Pale staggers to his feet and drops an elbow on Ryudu. He applies an armbar while he recovers. Ryudu finally breaks the hold by contorting himself and applying a headscissors on Pale. Pale grabs the ropes and the hold is released. The two get to their feet and Ryudu chops Pale Rider until he has backed into the corner. Ryudu leaps to the second rope and then performs a perfect monkey flip, sending Pale flying across the ring. He then follows up by bounding to the top buckle and launching himself in a reverse moonsault over half-way across the ring, landing on Pale Rider with great impact. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: What a stunning series of moves there from Ryudu! SR: That was a fast count, Dross. [Ryudu drags Pale to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Pale grabs hold of the ropes and points to his head, signalling to the crowd that he's got brains. Ryudu executes a fine standing dropkick on the Drifter, sending him sailing out of the ring over the top rope. Big pop. The Drifters regroup at ringside. Ryudu bounces off the ropes, and slides out of the ring under the bottom rope at high speed, hitting both Drifters with his feet. They fall backwards and hit the steel railings hard. Ryudu grabs the stunned Drifters and bangs their heads together. Big pop. He then rolls the legal man, Pale Rider, back into the ring. He leaps to the apron, and then in a cat-like motion, onto the top rope and into the ring with a leg drop on Pale Rider. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: Another phenomenal move by Ryudu there! The Drifters have been totally outwrestled so far, Steve. SR: No way, the Drifters are way ahead on points. [Pale tries to struggle towards his partner to tag him in, but Ryudu hangs on to one leg with one hand and tags in Hiroshi with the other. Hiroshi charges into the ring, and drops an elbow across the sprawled Pale Rider's back. He drags Pale to his feet and whips him into a neutral corner, and follows in with an attempted avalanche clothesline. However, Pale drops out of the way at the last second, and Hiroshi hits the buckles hard. Pale seizes his opportunity and applies a Russian leg sweep on Hiroshi, taking the big man down to the mat with authority. Big heel pop. Pale drags Hiroshi to his feet and applies a gut-wrench suplex, leaving Hiroshi winded on the mat and allowing him time to tag in Easy Rider.] SR: Aha, now we're going to see some of that Drifters magic, Dross! [Easy Rider enters the ring and keeps Hiroshi at bay with numerous high impact moves, although he is unable to pin him. Meanwhile, High Velocity come down the aisle, accompanied by the Senator. They stand at the point where the aisle meets the ringside area and watch, arms folded.] SR: Now these guys have absolutely no business down here at ringside! TD: Calm down, Steve - they're just here to watch. [Easy executes a brainbuster on the hapless Hiroshi and turns to see High Velocity standing in the aisle. He signals for them to step right up and take a shot. Meanwhile, Hiroshi rolls towards Ryudu, and tags in his partner. Easy is still preoccupied with his argument with High Velocity and is rolled up from behind by Ryudu. Cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: That was close! The Drifters ought to concentrate more on the match and less on the audience. SR: I'd be wary if I were the Easy Rider - you never know what those low- life scums will do. [Easy and Ryudu go at it in the middle of the ring. Pale Rider leaps off the apron and goes round to where High Velocity are standing, and really gets in their faces, trying to get them to leave ringside. The referee becomes distracted by Pale's actions, and leaves the ring to try and settle the disturbance. Meanwhile, Ryudu hits Easy with his Fisherman's Suplex, and covers him. The crowd go nuts at the referee, who finally persuades Pale Rider to leave High Velocity alone. Pale turns and sees his partner in a pinning predicament, and grabs a steel chair. He enters the ring and clouts Ryudu with the chair from behind. Hiroshi dashes towards Pale but is unable to reach him in time to save his partner. He drives a fist into Pale's midsection, and then grabs the chair from him. Hiroshi nails Pale with the chair, throws it from the ring, and rolls his partner out of the squared circle under the bottom rope. He covers Pale Rider. The crowd are still popping like crazy. The Senator finally allows the referee to re-enter the ring, and the official, so confused by the chaos that preceded, begins a count on Pale Rider - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here are your winners, by pinfall: Rising Sun Revolution! SR: I can't believe it! What kind of officiating was that, Dross? That has got to be the most ridiculous decision I have ever seen! TD: I don't think we can really blame the referee, Steve. After all, what was he supposed to do? The only alternative he had was to call the match a no-contest. SR: Well, he should have done just that, Dross! I know who the Drifters will blame for that loss - and when they get their hands on High Velocity, the Senator's boys will pay dearly. [Hiroshi briefly celebrates his pinfall victory, then leaves the ring to tend to his partner. The Senator nods in satisfaction and his team leaves ringside, followed by Rising Sun Revolution, Hiroshi helping Ryudu back to the locker room amidst the cheers of the crowd.] TD: That's a very important victory for Rising Sun Revolution there, Steve. A few more victories and they'll be in title contention. [The Drifters finally begin to stir, and leave the ring amidst the jeers of the crowd, clearly furious at their victory being robbed from them.] --------------------------------------- IIWF World Tag Team Championship Match: --------------------------------------- Steamroller vs. United Nations ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: This one promises to be a real slobberknocker! Let's go back and take a look at how this one got started: [Cut to tape of Coronation Clash tag team battle royal, of the controversial finish and of Steamroller using the timekeeper's bell to defeat the United Nations in a no DQ, no countout match.] Steamroller hit Jacques K. Vorkian so hard with that bell that he ended up in hospital for treatment. However, the Nations' coach, Kangaroo Carlysle, is adamant that his team is ready to face the champions again, and that's exactly what we're going to see tonight! SR: No, Dross - what we're going to see tonight is Steamroller embarrass those three idiots two weeks running. That manager of theirs wouldn't even be able to outsmart a real kangaroo - one Antipodean marsupial could beat all three of them! And it would still have more brains. TD: Now, Steve - try to be nice. SR: [sharply] Just wait until I get in a bad mood, Dross. [Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IIWF World Tag Team Championship! [Big pop] Introducing first, the challengers, led to the ring by their manager Kangaroo Carlysle, and weighing in at a combined weight of 490lbs, the United Nations! [The United Nations come out to a big pop, Vorkian's head still bandaged. They hi-five the fans on the way to the ring.] And now introducing the champions: led to the ring by their manager Dave Albanese, and weighing in at a combined weight of 550lbs, Steamroller! [Taylor and Brassow follow Albanese to the ring, their belts laid across their shoulders. They raise their hands aloft as they come down the aisle, but a greeted only by the jeers of the crowd. They enter the ring, and point at Vorkian's head, inferring that this time they'll finish the job.] SR: I'm looking forward to this, Dross. The Steamroller's already in top gear! [The timekeeper rings the bell to signal the start of the match. Taylor starts off against Tora Tora Tora. The two wrestlers lock up, collar and elbow. Tora whips Taylor into the ropes, leapfrogs him on the rebound, rolls under him on the next rebound, and hiptosses him on the next. Pop. Tora drags Taylor to his feet and whips him into the corner, attempting a handspring elbow to follow up. Taylor moves out of the way and Tora hits the buckle hard. Taylor grabs the stunned Tora and drops him on his head with a back suplex. Tora rolls around the ring holding his head. Taylor drops an elbow on Tora, then tags in Brassow. Brassow drags Tora to his feet and applies a backbreaker, picks him up once more and hits him hard with a side suplex. Heel pop. He drags the woozy Tora to his feet and attempts a piledriver, but Tora powers out of it, backdropping Brassow. He goes to tag Vorkian, but is stopped by Brassow. The two begin slugging it out in the centre of the ring, and Tora finally gets the upper hand with some chops. He attempts a kick to Brassow's head, but Brassow grabs his leg. Tora bounces up on his other leg and brings it round sharply to the back of Brassow's head. Brassow goes down. Big pop. Tora lunges for Vorkian, who enters the ring.] TD: Finally Tora makes the tag.... hang on.... hang on... I've got word that there's a disturbance back in the locker-room area... SR: What kind of a disturbance, Dross? TD: I'm not sure - we've got a camera back there... [Cut to the locker-room area. The shot follows the camera man as he rushes through the corridors backstage. A muffled sound is heard as the cameraman turns a corner. The shot falls on Brian Lau, gagged and bound, and covered in spray paint.] TD: Oh my, that looks like the work of the Subway Psycho! SR: That stupid sewer-dweller is really going to regret attacking Brian Lau! That was totally uncalled for! [We hear a battering sound from slightly further down the corridor. The camera moves on and comes to a closed door, which is apparently locked. Somebody is on the inside beating on the door, trying to get out. Suddenly, the door splinters and Tiger Claw bursts out of the locker room. He goes straight to Brian Lau, and pushes the camera away from the scene.] SR: How low can you go?! Locking Tiger Claw in the locker room and then assaulting Brian Lau with no provocation! The Psycho just signed his own death-warrant. TD: What do you mean, no provocation? You heard about Sasha... SR: It's hardly Lau's fault if Sasha finds him to be more of a man than the Psycho is! TD: Will you please stop! Let's get back to the ring... [Cut back to the match. Vorkian is all over Brassow. He whips him into the ropes, and as he comes off for the rebound, wraps him up in the Terminal Illness sleeper hold. The crowd give a good pop as Brassow starts to go down to the mat. Taylor yells at his partner to break the hold, but Brassow is apparently out. The referee raises Brassow's arm for the first time - it falls straight down to the mat. He raises Brassow's arm for the second time - again it goes straight down to the mat. He raises Brassow's hand for the third time - and Taylor storms the ring, delivering a kick to Vorkian's head. Tora also storms the ring, and a three-way brawl ensues, in which the referee is unable to get any control. The crowd pop as the United Nations double-team Taylor with clotheslines, backdrops and slams. Dave Albanese senses that his boys are close to losing the match, and drags Brassow out of the ring under the bottom rope, before throwing one of the tag team belts to Taylor. Taylor spins round and clouts Vorkian with the belt. The referee sees this and immediately disqualifies Steamroller. This doesn't stop the battle in the ring, however, as Taylor hits Tora with the belt, and then dives out of the ring, once again leaving the United Nations flat on the canvas. Big heel pop.] RA: Here are your winners, by disqualification: the United Nations! [Taylor helps Brassow to his feet and supports him on the way back to the locker room. Albanese grabs the belts and follows, laughing at Kangaroo Carlysle as he goes. Carlysle leaps into the ring and tends to his boys.] TD: And Steamroller call themselves champions, Steve. That was despicable. SR: No way, Dross. Remember that the United Nations had to beat Steamroller, not the other way around. Guess ol' Kangaroo's boys will have to try harder next time - if they even get another shot! TD: Vorkian had Taylor beat with the Terminal Illness. That was a real miscarriage of justice, once again. SR: Hey, isn't it funny the way you call the Rising Sun Revolution's victory fair, and cry foul when the United Nations fail to capture Steamroller's titles? So much for impartial commentating! TD: [indignant] Humph. [Carlysle eventually revives his men and helps them back to the locker room area, to a big pop.] TD: I think the fans here know who the true champions are, even if they don't have the belts. SR: Dross, you make me sick. TD: Well, folks, we're now just minutes away from the beginning of tonight's colossal battle royal! I hope they've reinforced the ring, because it's going to be chock-a-block with the finest athletes in the world today. SR: Yeah, the Horsemen, Tiger Claw, and about twenty idiots. ----------------------------------------------- IIWF Intercontinental Championship Battle Royal ----------------------------------------------- SR: Now shut up, Dross, and let these people stand up and give respect to the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, and a good personal friend of mine - the Outlaw! [Big heel pop as the Outlaw comes down to the broadcast table, wearing the IIWF belt proudly around his waist. He laughs in derision at the jeering fans and joins Dross and Roberts. Roberts shakes his hand.] SR: Good to see you, Outlaw! MO: And you, Steve. [Turns to Dross] Nice hair, Dross. Whose is it? TD: [Patiently] If we're done exchanging pleasantries, shall we get on with the wrestling? MO: Fine by me... after all, the sooner the battle royal starts, the sooner another Horsemen victory party can begin. Steve, when either Flare or Bodybag leaves here with a second piece of gold for the trophy cabinet down in the Iron Den, you're invited - your little lady friend might just be there again, if you know what I mean! TD: We're just about ready to begin tonight's main event. Let's go down and get word from the ring announcer: RA: The next encounter is our main event, and is an over-the-top rope battle royal. All the competitors will begin in the ring, and the only way to be eliminated is to go over the top rope and touch the arena floor. The last man standing in the ring will be crowned the first IIWF Intercontinental Champion! [Big pop. The wrestlers come out to the ring. Flare and Brad Kinder come out together, with Victoria Secret. They are followed by El Lobo Negro, Casey James, Jack Haley, Altair, Hakiro Matsuoko, Billy Shakespeare, Tony Starks, Simon Lebec, the Crippler, Moondust, Don Antonio, Mr. Blu Tone... the ring is almost full, and there is an uneasy stillness in the ring.] TD: Only a couple more wrestlers left back in the locker room area... looks like the guys in the ring can't wait to start tearing strips off one another. [The Venusian Death Cell's cage is wheeled down to ringside, although he is not released.] SR: That creature is possibly the most dangerous force in the ring tonight. MO: Hey, if this guy ever cuts himself shaving, he could drive himself loco. Think about it! [Tiger Claw comes down to the ring without Brian Lau. He doesn't enter the squared circle, instead standing around ringside challenging the Psycho and the Angel of the Sun.] TD: This guy's got a lot on his plate at the moment. MO: This kid is one of the toughest competitors in the battle royal. It's a real pity I had to kick his butt in the tournament. TD: Yeah, you and the other Horsemen. [Suddenly the lights go out. A few seconds they come back up again, and Deathbringer is standing in the centre of a now empty ring, all the other competitors having bailed out in the darkness.] SR: I hate it when he does that. MO: I don't know whatever happened to Cadaver, but I had some great battles with ol' Spook Boy. For all his cheap tricks, Deathbringer isn't fit to carry Cadaver's jock. TD: But he could well be a force to be reckoned with here tonight. Steve, who are you picking as your favourite to go all the way? SR: No disrespect to you or the Horsemen, Outlaw, but I'm picking Tiger Claw. He's really fired up tonight, and I think we're going to see that mile-wide mean streak in full flow. MO: No way, Steve. I've trained with Bodybag, and I've partied with him. He does both with equal gusto. He's a true Horseman and he's got to be the favourite in this match. TD: Well, I would have gone with Dan Kauffman, but the injuries he sustained at the Clash were too severe and he's not entered in the battle royal. MO: That guy knocked Starks out of the tournament and he's capable of anything. If he developed a killer instinct, he'd be a perfect fourth Horseman. Whaddya say, Kauffman? TD: I'm picking Tony Starks. He's an endurance wrestler, and there's no more exhausting match than a battle royal. MO: Starks is over-rated. He was undefeated because he never wrestled any real talent. Look, he was pinned by a cripple in the tournament. If he ever was Horseman material, he blew that chance by running his mouth. [All the other wrestlers clamber back into the ring, and as Tiger Claw cannons into the Subway Psycho, the match begins. The Venusian Death Cell's handlers let him out of his cage, and he slides into the ring, immediately making a beeline for Jack Haley. He is intercepted by Deathbringer, who grabs him by the neck and throws him into a corner. Claw and the Psycho slug it out. Billy Shakespeare gets into a slug-fest with Mr. Blu Tone, and pushes him into the ropes. He delivers a sharp right-hand blow, and Blu Tone sails out of the ring over the top rope.] RA: Mr. Blu Tone has been eliminated by Billy Shakespeare. TD: Well, that didn't take long! MO: It's pretty hard to be intimidated by a guy whose name sounds like a bad tropical drink. SR: If all his teeth didn't get knocked out by that punch, he'll be singing the blues in the morning... [Don Antonio begins beating on Deathbringer from behind, and the man from the dark side releases the VDC from his grip. Don Antonio is chokeslammed to the mat, while VDC again heads towards Haley. Haley sees him coming and almost takes his head off with a huge clothesline.] MO: Wow, what a clothesline! The Giant could be Horseman material if he had the proper training. He's learning from some former amateur wrestler... TD: Not just any former amateur wrestler, Outlaw - Don "Doc" Stevenson! MO: Who? Anyway, everyone knows that amateur wrestling is fake. [VDC and Haley go at it. Haley scoops up the VDC and tries to dump him out of the ring over the top rope. Starks beats on Brad Kinder, and Flare chops away at El Lobo Negro. Moondust makes advances towards Simon Lebec, who greets the androgynous one with some hard right hands. Tiger Claw pummels the Subway Psycho with his knee fury, but Hakiro Matsuoko makes the save, hitting Claw in the back of the head with a savate kick.] TD: Ouch! Claw could be out after that move! SR: No way, Dross. You know how much punishment this guy can take - and he just keeps bouncing back. MO: Right, Steve. Hakiro might be good, but he's no Tiger Claw. I think the Angel's gonna be grounded when Claw gets his hands on him. [Flare clotheslines El Lobo Negro over the ropes to the outside.] RA: El Lobo Negro has been eliminated by Flare! MO: Whooo! The Horsemen taste first blood! The lone wolf needs to be a member of a pack if he wants to do any killing here in the IIWF. Join a pack, kid. SR: To be honest, I'm disappointed in this guy. I expected the wolf to have more teeth... [Haley backs the VDC into a corner, and holds him at bay. Deathbringer comes over to the corner, and between the two of them, 'Bringer and the Giant eject the Cell from the ring.] RA: The Venusian Death Cell has been eliminated by Deathbringer and Jack Haley. TD: Oh-oh, now the VDC's going to be really mad. MO: Hey, Dross, you're right - he's looking at you like you're a pork chop! [The VDC immediately goes nuts, and before his handlers can stop him, he tries to drag Jack Haley over the top rope. Deathbringer gives the Cell a helping hand, and shoves Haley to the arena floor.] RA: Jack Haley has been eliminated by Deathbringer! [The Cell is all over Haley, and there are echoes of the ringside mayhem from the Clash, as the handlers attempt to drag the VDC off the Giant. Eventually they shut the VDC back in his cage, and wheel it away from ringside. An incensed Haley runs up the aisle after the cage, nailing two of the handlers, and then uses his incredible strength to upend the cage. The VDC can be seen lashing around inside it, as Haley grabs a chair and starts beating the sides of the cage.] TD: Whoa, Haley's snapped! He's lost it! SR: Looks like the actions of a frightened man to me, Dross. He wants to eliminate the VDC, and I can't say I blame him. [The handlers, along with some more officials, eventually drag Haley away from the cage, and escort the Giant back to the locker room area.] MO: You know what, if we could train that temper of Haley's, he could be a real force to be reckoned with. [Meanwhile, back in the ring, Tiger Claw has turned his attentions temporarily to Don Antonio. He hits the Sicilian with a vicious spinning kick, sending Antonio sailing over the top rope and to the outside.] RA: Don Antonio has been eliminated by Tiger Claw. MO: [impersonates Brando] Oooh, and he coulda been a contenda. [Laughs] TD: Oh yeah, you're a riot. [Casey James battles Deathbringer. Starks turns his attentions to Flare. Billy Shakespeare slugs it out with Moondust. Brad Kinder turns on Simon Lebec. Hakiro Matsuoko ducks an attempted cross-body block by Altair, who sails out of the ring over the ropes.] RA: Altair has been eliminated! MO: And he's so stupid, he probably won't realise it until next week. TD: Will you please stop! MO: Look, Dross - it's easy to see that Bodybag or Flare will be wearing the IC belt come the end of the evening. After all, they're the only two wrestlers in the battle royal who've worked together before. That boils down to yet another Horsemen victory. You gotta love it! TD: We'll see. [Matsuoko is set upon by Tiger Claw before he can get to his feet. Claw rains kicks and chops on the hapless Angel.] SR: Now this is the battle I've been waiting for, Dross. [The Psycho comes to Matsuoko's aid, nailing Claw from behind.] SR: Oh, that was real big, Psycho. What a man, attacking from behind! MO: I know the Psycho from a long way back. He doesn't have the heart to win this event. Maybe Mistress Sasha would like to manage a real champion like the Outlaw! [Matsuoko and the Psycho double team Claw, hitting him with a double clothesline. Meanwhile, Deathbringer picks Casey James up by the throat and dumps him over the top rope.] RA: Casey "Whitebread" James has been eliminated by Deathbringer! MO: Casey "CORNbread" James would be more like it. Truth, justice and the American way, huh? Don't make me puke. TD: That's too bad for Casey. [Moondust gets behind Billy Shakespeare and rubs his chest. Shakespeare retaliates with a hard elbow shot to Moondust's lower midsection, then piledrives him viciously.] SR: Looks like Shakespeare needs to develop a sense of humour. MO: I don't know, Steve. This guy, and I use the term loosely, is a bit too weird. He'd probably refuse the Intercontinental belt because it clashes with his outfit. [Suddenly, Flare is eliminated by the Crippler, who whips the Horseman into the corner with such force that he flies up over the turnbuckle and nearly lands in the front row of seating.] RA: Flare has been eliminated by the Crippler! TD: Wow! What a bump! [The Outlaw leaves the broadcast table and goes to tend to his partner. Bodybag gets the Crippler up against the ropes, and the Outlaw grabs him by the mask, dragging him out of the ring head first, Bodybag giving a helping hand from the inside. He then performs two Cattle Buster DDTs on the Crippler onto the arena floor. Big heel pop.] RA: The Crippler has been eliminated by Brad "Bodybag" Kinder! TD: Now there was no need for that! SR: Sure there was, Dross. You don't mess with the Horsemen. [As the Outlaw returns to the table.] Nice work, champ. MO: That guy got what he deserved... what a cheater. TD: You are truly unbelievable, Outlaw. MO: Thanks, Dross. Now enough compliments, call the match. [Moondust leans against the ropes. Billy Shakespeare runs at him and attempts to clothesline him out, but his momentum carries them both over. Moondust hits the floor hard, but somehow Billy keeps hold of the ropes and levers himself back into the ring. Big pop.] RA: Moondust has been eliminated by Billy Shakespeare. MO: Let's hope that's the last time Moondust is horizontal on the floor tonight, if you know what I mean. [Moondust throws a real tantrum, and starts beating his fist on the arena floor. Eventually he regains his composure, and blows a kiss at Billy Shakespeare before leaving ringside. Simon Lebec attacks Billy as he watches Moondust's little display in disgust, nailing him in the lower lumbar region and hitting him with a backbreaker. Lebec poses for the fans, and then delivers the "Showstopper" leg drop on his immobile foe. Big heel pop. Lebec drags Billy to his feet, and suplexes him out of the ring over the top rope! Huge shocked pop as Billy sails through the air. Luckily, he lands more or less on his feet.] RA: Billy Shakespeare has been eliminated by "Showstopper" Simon Lebec! TD: Wow, Lebec didn't show us much of that offence in his match against Shakespeare at the Clash! SR: You're right, Dross. That even surprised me! MO: Looks like the curtain just came down on that twerp Shakespeare. A little song, a little dance, a little Moondust down his pants... TD: Will you please stop! [Lebec mocks Shakespeare, pointing at his head, but is knocked from behind by a big boot from the Subway Psycho, sending him careering over the ropes.] RA: Simon Lebec has been eliminated by the Subway Psycho! MO: Well, that's one way to stop the show. [Billy Shakespeare, who is still standing around ringside, immediately starts beating on Lebec. The two of them brawl up the aisle, various referees and officials attempting to separate them.] TD: We've seen it so many times tonight - the battle royal is the most dangerous match in all of wrestling precisely because if you turn your back on somebody, you'll pay... and you can't take too many falls from the ring like that. These are career-shortening matches. SR: Yeah, but in the case of little prima donnas like Shakespeare and Lebec, that's a good thing! [Hakiro Matsuoko attacks Deathbringer, and starts pummelling him with a number of high-impact martial arts chops and kicks. Deathbringer reels, but suddenly stops the Angel in his tracks with a chokeslam. Tiger Claw once again attacks the Psycho.] TD: Now we're down to six men - Tiger Claw, the Angel of the Sun, the Subway Psycho, Deathbringer, Brad Kinder and Tony Starks. MO: I'm still behind my man Bodybag all the way! SR: Claw's still my pick! [Bodybag and Starks go at it. Starks applies the cross-face chicken wing on Kinder, who struggles to get free. Deathbringer drags Matsuoko to his feet and lifts him up by the throat once more. However, Matsuoko manages to head-scissor Deathbringer in an amazing display of agility, and somehow finds the momentum to flip Deathbringer out of the ring with a sort of Frankensteiner move. Huge pop.] RA: Deathbringer has been eliminated by Hakiro Matsuoko! TD: Wow! I've not seen anything like that before! Matsuoko's not really had a chance to show us what he can do in this match, but if he keeps that up... SR: ...he'll still be eliminated by Tiger Claw. I'm just glad Deathbringer's out of there. MO: Yeah, may he rest in peace. Or preferably in pieces. [The Psycho nails Starks and forces him to release Bodybag. The Psycho leans up against the buckles. Claw attempts a spinning roundhouse kick, but the Psycho drops to the mat, and Claw gets entangled across the top buckle. The Psycho drives a boot into his mid-section. Meanwhile, Bodybag whips Starks into the ropes. Starks grabs the ropes and stops dead on the other side of the ring. Bodybag goes after Starks, and the two of them slug it out against the ropes. Matsuoko leaps into the air and hits a spinning leg lariat on both men, sending them sailing over the ropes and to the outside.] RA: Tony Starks and Brad Kinder have been eliminated by Hakiro Matsuoko! [Big pop.] MO: No way! I can't believe the way some wrestlers in this federation cheat to win! Bodybag was cheated right there! [Bodybag and Starks continue to brawl on the outside, until referees manage to separate them and drag them away from ringside.] Starks is on another kind of streak now - a losing streak! I whipped his butt last week, Bodybag whipped his butt right there, and I'm looking forward to making it three losses out of three next week when we meet again! I'll give that guy the beating of his life for costing the Horsemen more gold here tonight! [Matsuoko rests in one corner while the Psycho and Claw go at it. The Psycho signals to the Angel of the Sun that they should work together. Psycho holds Claw still while Matsuoko bounds to the top buckle. Matsuoko launches a kick at Claw, but the Thai boxer ducks out of the way, and the Psycho bears the full brunt of the impact. Claw floors the disorientated Matsuoko with a huge kick, and drags the woozy Psycho to his feet. There is an air of inevitability about the spinning heel kick that follows, driving the Psycho's head backwards, and the momentum carries him over the top rope and to the arena floor. Big heel pop as Claw stands jubilant in the ring.] RA: The Subway Psycho has been eliminated by Tiger Claw! MO: Looks like that subway car just got de-railed. Claw's got this match right in the palm of his hand now. SR: The man I picked from the start is our new IC champ! TD: Not until he eliminates Hakiro, gentlemen... [Claw drops an elbow on the exhausted Matsuoko. The heel reaction is huge as high-impact move after high-impact move finds the mark. Claw whips Matsuoko into the ropes, and hits him with his spinning flying leg lariat as he comes back on the rebound. Matsuoko is floored. Claw drags Matsuoko to his feet and hoists him up above his shoulders, preparing to dump him out over the top rope. At the last moment, Matsuoko shifts his weight and manages to straddle Claw's shoulders. Claw wobbles, and Matsuoko reaches down behind himself, grabbing the second rope, and then uses his incredibly strong legs to flip Claw over and out of the ring. Huge pop as Hakiro almost follows Claw out, but levers himself back into the ring with his arms. The crowd go wild.] RA: Tiger Claw has been eliminated by Hakiro Matsuoko! [Ding! Ding! Ding! A referee jumps into the ring and raises Matsuoko's arm in victory.] RA: Here is your winner - and NEW IIWF Intercontinental Champion - "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko! TD: I knew he could do it! What a victory for the Angel of the Sun! SR: No way. Claw had him beat! How did he do that move?! MO: I don't know, Steve! But I do know that Claw is wasting his time with Brian Lau. The Horsemen could teach him how to be a winner. [Tiger Claw staggers to his feet, and looks ready to jump back into the ring, but he is restrained by officials around ringside. The best he can manage is a barrage of abuse before he is escorted back to the locker room area. IIWF President Dan Spreadbury comes down to the ring bearing the IIWF Intercontinental Championship, the belt gleaming brightly. He enters the ring and bows to Hakiro, who bows back in a display of respect, and accepts the belt as it is handed to him. Hakiro holds the belt aloft, and the fans cheer him hugely. The IIWF President leaves the ring, and fireworks shoot all around the arena in a breathtaking display. As Hakiro celebrates in the ring, cut to the broadcast table. The Outlaw and Steve Roberts shake their heads.] TD: That was a phenomenal event - and I truly believe the best man won. That's all we've got time for this week, folks, but we'll be back at you live next Saturday night with a card featuring the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion defending his title in a submission match against Tony Starks. MO: Just wait until you see what the Horseman have planned for that loud- mouth! TD: Outlaw, I'd like to thank you for joining us here this week. MO: The pleasure was all yours, I'm sure. Hey, I never realised that this commentary gig was so easy - and you actually get paid for this, Dross? Now _that's_ unbelievable! SR: Too right. TD: Do you guys never stop?! This is Tim Dross, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts and the Outlaw, saying: so long, everybody! [Fade as Matsuoko hi-fives the fans around ringside.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+