##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Saturday Night ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * IIWF Coliseum * June 1 1996 [Pan down past rows of screaming fans. Over these scenes of excitement, we hear the voice of Tim Dross:] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum! Welcome everybody to IIWF Saturday Night! [Cut to Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts at the broadcast table.] TD: This capacity crowd is absolutely buzzing here tonight! SR: And with good reason, Dross - tonight's going to be the night Tiger Claw takes the Intercontinental Championship from Hakiro Matsuoko. TD: That Martial Arts match is going to be a real stunner. I don't know who's going to win, but somebody's going to leave the Coliseum on a stretcher. Also tonight, Dan "Flash" Kauffman battles Deathbringer inside a steel cage... SR: And it's going to be Texas Death rules, Dross. Kauffman doesn't stand a chance. TD: We'll also see Stunt Team USA in action, and the High Plains Drifters will face High Velocity inside a steel cage! Plus, in a rematch from the Coronation Clash, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare will square off against "Showstopper" Simon Lebec. What a match that's going to be! SR: The show stops right here for that puke Shakespeare! And what about tonight's main event... the Outlaw defends his IIWF World Heavyweight Championship in a Submission Match against that no-hoper Tony Starks. TD: You seem to forget that Starks is a submission wrestler - he's got to be the favourite in this match. SR: I don't know, Dross - I reckon the Horsemen will have a plan... TD: Not while they're suspended above the ring in cages, they won't. SR: [knowingly] We'll see... TD: What are you talking about, Roberts? [Steve says nothing. Dross is exasperated.] Well, let's get down to ringside for tonight's opening encounter. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] Stunt Team USA vs. The Rotundos ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The Rotundos are already in the ring. Both are hugely overweight. Stunt Team USA come out to a moderate face pop, hi-fiving the fans as they go.] TD: I don't think the Rotundos are going to present too much of a problem to Stunt Team USA. SR: Hey, anything can happen in the IIWF, Dross. [Steve starts off the match, catching Rotundo I with a dropkick. He drags Rotundo I to his feet, whips him into the ropes, and attacks with a flying headscissors. Big pop. Steve tags in Ron, who piledrives Rotundo I. He drags Rotundo I to his feet and whips him into his home corner. Rotundo II tags in, and Rotundo I rolls off the ring apron to the floor. Rotundo II charges Ron, who levels him with a clothesline. He drags the floored big guy to his feet, and in an impressive display of power, powerbombs him. Big pop. Ron goes over to Steve and tags him in. Steve goes straight to the top turnbuckle. Ron picks up Rotundo II and nails him with a running powerslam. Steve comes off the top turnbuckle with a flying legdrop.] TD: They call that the Fire And Forget, Steve. SR: Yeah, well, the Rotundos can sure forget it. [Cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here are your winners, by pinfall: Stunt Team USA! SR: Those two idiots have no place in the ring. TD: Now, Steve, don't be so hard on the Rotundos! SR: Who said anything about the Rotundos? [Steve and Ron celebrate briefly in the ring, with a louder face pop, before leaving ringside. The Rotundos follow, with the referee.] "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Lebec comes down to the ring, accompanied by Miss Crystal, to a pretty big heel pop. He stands in the ring, and basks in his own glory, ignoring the jeers of the crowd.] TD: There's no conceit in Lebec's family - he's got it all! SR: Dross, that was lame. Why don't you leave the commentary to me? [Billy Shakespeare comes out to a big face pop. He bows at the head of the aisle, and enters the ring. He bows to Miss Crystal, but bites his thumb at Lebec.] TD: Heh, do you bite your thumb at me, sirrah? SR: What are you talking about, Dross?! Don't call me Sarah... [Lebec charges Shakespeare, who dodges out the way. Lebec charges again, and is this time caught by a hiptoss. Shakespeare stands back and bows at Lebec.] TD: Shades of the Clash here, Steve. Lebec could hardly catch Shakespeare then either. [Lebec gets cautiously to his feet and locks up with Shakespeare. This time he gets the advantage and applies a side headlock on Billy. Billy pushes Lebec into the ropes, and then leapfrogs him as he comes back. As Lebec comes once more off the ropes, Billy puts his head down for a backdrop, but telegraphs the move too early, and Lebec capitalises with a swinging neckbreaker. Billy writhes in pain. Big heel pop. Lebec stands and revels in the jeers of the crowd, pointing to his head.] TD: Oh yeah, you're real smart, Lebec. SR: Even if he only had half a brain, that would be twice as much as that puke Shakespeare. He doesn't even speak English half the time, quoting those plays nobody's ever heard of... TD: [despairingly] I give up... [Suddenly the crowd are alerted to the arrival of Flare and Miss Victoria Secret, who come down the aisle. They stand at the side of the ring and talk between themselves, examining carefully the action in the ring.] TD: Now what do the Horsemen want in this match? SR: Well, you know they're scouting for new talent... maybe they're taking a closer look at Lebec. [Lebec drops an elbow on Billy, and then applies an armbar. Billy appears unable to break free from the hold, and although he tries to gouge Lebec's eyes or pull his hair with his free hand, the referee stops him from doing so. As Billy begins to beat his feet on the canvas, the crowd start getting behind him and chanting "Shake - speare! Shake - speare!" Billy gradually fights to his feet, and lifts Lebec up, dropping him backwards in a kind of side suplex. Big face pop.] TD: An impressive display of strength there from Billy! [Billy bounds to the top rope, and hits Lebec with an elbow smash. Big pop. Billy goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Lebec struggles to his feet, slugging it out with Billy. Billy ducks a right-hand, and scoops the flailing Lebec up, slamming him to the canvas with authority. He drags Lebec to his feet and slingshots him into the ropes, but Lebec grabs hold of the ropes and stops dead at the side of the ring, apparently dazed. Billy runs at him, launching himself with a flying cross-body block, but Lebec drops to the canvas, and Billy finds himself flying out of the ring through the ropes. Big heel pop. Lebec staggers to his feet and distracts the referee, aided by Miss Crystal, who leaps to the ring apron, and suddenly there is a disturbance at the side of the ring where Billy had plummeted through the ropes.] SR: Hey, Dross - what's going on down there? TD: It looks like Billy's been dragged under the ring... I can't tell... [Cut to shot of the side of the ring. There is a thrashing and a flailing as Billy's legs disappear under the ring. Moments later, Billy reappears, moving faster than you'd imagine a guy who'd just fallen from the ring could move. He is hotly pursued by Moondust, who is clutching one of Billy's boots, which he removed while Billy was under the ring. The referee is finally alerted to the bizarre situation, which even Lebec seems surprised by. Moondust catches up with Billy, and the two of them begin slugging it out on the outside. The referee leaves the ring to separate them, and Billy finally re-enters the ring, still minus one boot. As the referee turns to get back into the ring, Moondust throws Billy's boot to Lebec. Lebec quickly nails Billy with the boot, taking him down to the canvas hard, and throws the boot away.] TD: The referee didn't see it! SR: Didn't see what?! [Big heel pop as Lebec again basks in the jeers of the crowd. Lebec drags Billy to his feet, and executes a nasty piledriver. Lebec goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec! [The crowd pop madly at Lebec as Miss Crystal joins him in the ring. Lebec wipes the sweat from his brow and flicks it onto the exhausted carcass of Shakespeare. As Moondust slides into the ring, Lebec seems a little worried, and leaves along with Miss Crystal. He passes Flare and eyes him suspiciously. Flare and Secret follow Lebec and Crystal up the aisle. Moondust takes advantage of Billy's emaciated condition and starts caressing him fondly. Huge heel pop.] TD: Er, I don't think we want to see this, Steve. SR: No, this is even turning my stomach, Dross. TD: Let's cut to a commercial... hang on! [Casey James suddenly cannons into the ring, and throws Moondust off Shakespeare, clotheslining him out of the ring. Big face pop. Casey stands guard over Billy as Moondust half-walks, half-crawls his way from ringside, before helping Billy to his feet and supporting him back to the locker-room area. Big pop.] TD: That was disgusting, Steve. I'm sure the IIWF President is going to have something to say about Moondust... and so is Casey James for that matter. SR: Ol' Cornbread will sure learn a thing or two from Moondust... TD: Now it's time for the first of tonight's two cage matches. High Velocity will face the High Plains Drifters inside the steel! All four men will be in the ring at once, and the only way to win is for both members of one team to escape the cage, either over the top or through the door. SR: This is right up the Drifters' alley, Dross. They're one of the most punishing teams I've ever seen in the ring, and this could be one of the most brutal matches of all time. I can't wait! [The cage is constructed around the ring, and the timekeeper's bell chimes.] Cage Match: High Velocity vs. High Plains Drifters ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The Drifters come out to the ring accompanied by the Outlaw Josey Wales. They have a last minute tactical discussion with their coach, and then enter the cage. High Velocity then come out to the ring accompanied by the Senator. They enter the cage, and the referee locks the door behind them. Immediately a brutal brawl breaks out. The four men beat on each other with punches, kicks and uppercuts.] TD: Wow, these guys really hate one another! [Pale Rider attempts to remove T. Rowe's mask, but he is attacked from behind by J.R. Metro. Meanwhile, Easy Rider climbs up the side of the cage and throws himself in wild abandon at High Velocity. He connects with a sort of kick, but seems to do as much damage to himself as he does to the Senator's boys. Pale Rider, meanwhile, pulls some brass knuckles out of his tights and nails first Metro and then Rowe, leaving them flat on the mat. He rouses his partner, and then goes towards the door. However, the Senator distracts the referee, and Altair comes charging down the aisle.] SR: Oh no, what's that great idiot doing here? TD: I don't know, Steve. Maybe Altair's trying to get back into the Senator's good books... [Altair is carrying a padlock and thick metal chain. He uses the chain to lock the door of the cage very firmly closed. Pale Rider gives the finger to Altair, and begins climbing the cage.] TD: This means big trouble! I didn't know the Senator's guys would cheat like this... I'm shocked, Steve! SR: Yeah, maybe this Altair guy has promise! [As Pale and Easy begin to climb the cage, so too does Altair. The referee attempts to stop him, but is dragged away by the Senator. The crowd doesn't know what to think. Altair and Pale Rider reach the top of the cage at roughly the same time. They begin slugging it out about thirty feet from the arena floor!] TD: If Altair falls from that height, he's a goner! [Altair nails Pale Rider with a huge right hand, and the Drifter tumbles off the cage and lands hard in the middle of the ring. High Velocity are beginning to stir, and begin attacking Pale Rider. T. Rowe unwraps some of the tape from his wrists, and starts to choke Pale Rider. J.R. Metro begins scaling the cage after Easy Rider, who, as a big man, is far slower. Altair similarly goes after Easy. Easy manages to kick Metro off as he climbs up underneath him, but is grabbed from above by Altair, who pushes him from the cage into the middle of the ring. Altair then climbs over the top of the cage and enters the ring himself.] TD: This is crazy! I thought the Drifters were supposed to be the bad guys! SR: Yeah, so did I... but they've not been putting up much of a fight here. [As Pale and Easy are triple-teamed in the ring, Rising Sun Revolution charge the aisle and begin scaling the cage. Big face pop. The Outlaw Josey Wales attacks the Senator, applying a nasty full nelson on the manager.] TD: I've not seen chaos like this! Just whose side will Rising Sun Revolution be on? [Hiroshi and Ryudu climb into the cage and come to the rescue of Pale and Easy, decimating Altair and High Velocity with high-impact martial arts kicks. Meanwhile, another referee armed with heavy-duty wire cutters comes to ringside and begins working on the chains holding the door shut. Eventually, he cuts through the chains, and opens the door. Ryudu and Hiroshi assist the Drifters through the door... and the match is over! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here are your winners: the High Plains Drifters! [Some of the crowd jeer, and some of them cheer. Josey Wales finally relinquishes hold on the Senator to tend to his exhausted men. He pushes Hiroshi and Ryudu away, without even a word of thanks. Rising Sun Revolution look surprised, but leave ringside, hi-fiving the crowd as they go.] TD: At least the fans know where they stand with the Revolution, Steve... SR: Hey, Dross, I'm confused. This is making my head hurt. TD: You and me both. Well, I'm not sure that match exactly followed the letter of the law, but it's a victory for the High Plains Drifters. I'm not sure we've seen the last of this situation, though. Let's hope they can clear up the carnage around ringside quickly. [Cut to Dross and Roberts at the broadcast table.] TD: Our next encounter is a rematch between Dan "Flash" Kauffman and the Deathbringer... but this time, inside a steel cage, Texas Death rules! SR: Which all adds up to one big victory for Deathbringer. Hey, he might not be Cadaver, but at least he knows how to keep his mouth shut, unlike motormouth Kauffman. If Flash could wrestle half as well as he can talk, he'd be the champion, but I think we're going to see tonight how little stuff there is behind the bluff. TD: How can you say that, given his performance at the Clash a few weeks ago?! SR: One word, Dross: fluke. TD: [pause] Well, tonight we'll find out. I just hope Kauffman is sufficiently rested from those injuries - he's the kind of guy who'll come back into the ring before he's fully ready. SR: Great. I hope Deathbringer snaps his leg like a twig! TD: We're just about ready to begin! Cage Match, Texas Death Rules: Deathbringer vs. Dan "Flash" Kauffman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The strains of "The Reaper" blare out over the PA system, and the lights drop to nothing. A few seconds later they come back up, and Deathbringer is standing at the top of the cage in one corner, his arms aloft. Mixed reaction from the crowd.] SR: Sheesh, why can't the guy just walk to the ring like everybody else?! [Dan Kauffman then comes out to a huge face pop. He hi-fives as many fans as he can on his way to the ring. He looks up at the figure of the Deathbringer at the top of the cage, shakes his head, and walks straight in through the door. He is followed by the referee, and the door is closed. The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Now remember, Steve - you don't just have to pin your opponent or force him to submit - you also have to make sure he doesn't get up within a count of ten from the referee. If he gets up, the match continues. SR: If Kauffman has any brains, he'll just lie down and let himself be pinned now - otherwise, it's going to be the last match of his career. [Deathbringer climbs down from the cage and faces Kauffman in the centre of the ring. The two of them stare into each other's eyes. Kauffman says something to Deathbringer, although we can't hear what. Then Deathbringer steps back, and attempts a thrust chop into Kauffman's neck. Kauffman dodges, and attacks with reverse knife edge chops. 'Bringer staggers backwards until he is on the ropes, then Kauffman whips him across the ring. He comes back at Kauffman and hits the Scythe, the vicious flying clothesline on Dan. Big heel pop. Dan staggers to his feet, but is immediately put in a piledriver by the Deathbringer. Big heel pop. Deathbringer applies the Death Claw on Kauffman, who immediately submits. The referee begins the count, and Kauffman is on his feet by the count of four.] TD: That was a smart move by Kauffman. He knew he could recover if the 'Bringer would just release that hold. Good thinking. [Deathbringer clearly has the upper hand in the match. As the two combatants battle it out in the ring, Flare and Miss Secret once again appear at the top of the aisle.] TD: What are they doing here now?! SR: I know the Horsemen are looking for a fourth member, but what would they want with Kauffman... or Deathbringer, for that matter?! [Flare and Secret come down the aisle, and stand a few feet away from the cage, watching the match. 'Bringer stays on the offensive, hitting Kauffman with offensive move after offensive move. Kauffman seems distracted by Flare's presence, and his timing is off.] SR: Kauffman's hardly hit Deathbringer with a single offensive move in this match! TD: But you notice he's still _in_ the match, Steve. He can wrestle all night, if you want him to. ['Bringer scoops up Kauffman and prepares him for a Tombstone piledriver, but Kauffman levers himself backwards, getting his feet on the top rope. He bounds up onto Deathbringer's shoulders, and performs a victory roll. Out of nowhere, he has the 'Bringer in a pinning predicament. Count - 1 - 2 - 3! But Deathbringer is on his feet before the referee even begins the count. Kauffman once again slugs it out with the big man, and stuns him sufficiently to perform a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on him. Huge face pop. Kauffman bounds to the top rope, and hits an elbow smash. The crowd pop like crazy. Deathbringer suddenly sits up. Dan looks mildly surprised, but immediately gets back to work, stomping Deathbringer and trying to keep him on the canvas. However, Deathbringer is relentless, and gets to his feet. He grabs Kauffman by the neck. Gradually Kauffman stops flailing, and as he falls still, Deathbringer performs an incredibly vicious choke-slam, driving Kauffman hard into the mat. Big heel pop.] SR: I can't see Kauffman getting up from that. TD: Nor me. He nearly went straight through the canvas! ['Bringer goes for the cover. Count - 1 - 2 - 3! The referee begins the count. The crowd really start to get behind Dan. - 3 - 4 - 5 - the crowd pop is very loud indeed - 6 - 7 - 8 - Dan struggles to his knees! The count is stopped.] SR: That was a big mistake, Dross. Kauffman should have stayed down and lost the match. TD: No way, Steve. Kauffman will have to be unconscious before he'll give up. SR: Well, I'm sure that can be arranged. ['Bringer drags Kauffman to his feet and whips him hard into the ropes. Kauffman heads back towards 'Bringer, and attempts a spinning kick. 'Bringer is caught by the kick and goes down. Kauffman's momentum carries him further, however, and he cannons into the referee, who goes down hard. Big pop. Flare still stands watching with Miss Secret.] TD: Oh-oh, with the referee down, anything can happen in there! SR: Great! I love it! Kauffman just signed his own death warrant! [As Dan tends to the referee, Deathbringer suddenly sits up. He stands and drags Kauffman to his feet by his hair. He performs a chokeslam. And another. And two more. The heel pop is deafening. Deathbringer drags the motionless Kauffman over to the corner. He climbs to the top rope, and hauls Kauffman up. He hoists Kauffman up into position for the Burial.] TD: Not the Burial! Nobody gets up from that move! SR: Go on! Go on! [Deathbringer launches himself off the top turnbuckle, and Kauffman's head hits the canvas hard. Deathbringer crosses Kauffman's hands on his chest. The referee stirs. It takes him an age to crawl over to where Kauffman is being pinned, but finally he begins the count - 1 --- 2 --- 3! He begins counting again - 1 - 2 - ] TD: Kauffman's not moving. I don't think he's going to get up... SR: I'd be surprised if he ever even walks again. He must be about six inches shorter after the Burial! [Suddenly, a figure leaps out of the crowd, dressed in street clothing, and starts to scale the cage.] SR: Hey, who's this guy? He'd better not go in there... TD: I know Kauffman's fan support is huge, but this is ridiculous. If that fan gets into that cage, all hell could break loose. [The count continues - 3 - 4 - 5 - while the figure throws himself onto Deathbringer from halfway up the cage. Deathbringer is taken off his feet. Security teams swarm the ringside area. The "fan" is all over Deathbringer, raining down punches and blows on him. He drags the 'Bringer to his feet and executes an overhead press slam! Flare shakes his head, and beckons Miss Secret to leave ringside with him.] TD: Hey, this is no ordinary fan! Who is this guy?! [The referee finally gives up his counting and signals for the bell to ring.] SR: What kind of a decision is this going to be?! [The Security team open the door of the cage and storm the ring, dragging the "fan" out of the ring. There is mayhem around ringside as both the "fan" and Deathbringer are escorted back to the locker-room area.] RA: The referee has ruled this match a no-contest. [Big negative reaction from the fans.] TD: Well, that was probably the only reasonable decision the referee could have made. I think I'm as confused as all these fans here. SR: Deathbringer had Kauffman beat _again_! I can't believe what we've just seen... who was that guy? TD: I don't know. I suspect that our esteemed President will have some words to say about this. Whoever that guy was, he looked a bit green, but if he's not a wrestler, he is sure in great pysical condition. SR: I'm going to find out who that guy is Dross... I'm going back to the locker rooms to see what I can turn up. [Roberts leaves the broadcast table.] TD: Tonight's next match is a brutal martial arts rules match. It will consist of three rounds of three minutes each, and special rules, such as no low blows, count. The match will be decided by a knockout, or by the referee stopping the match to prevent further injury. And, to make this match even more dangerous, both participants will have wrapped fists. Hakiro Matsuoko will be accompanied to the ring by his corner man, Casey James, and Tiger Claw will be accompanied by some unknown henchman - along with Brian Lau, of course. The Intercontinental Championship is on the line. This is potentially a career-ending clash. There are also several unknown factors in this one: will the Horsemen really assist Tiger Claw in keeping the Subway Psycho at bay? I'm going into this match with a real sense of trepidation... [Roberts returns to the broadcast table.] ...well, Steve, what did you find out? SR: Not a lot, Dross. Security have that guy locked up back there, and the IIWF President is said to be involved. All that I overheard was the big security guys calling him "Joe". TD: I'll try and get word with the IIWF President about it as soon as I can. SR: Are we ready for the martial arts match yet, Dross? TD: I think so. The cage has been dismantled, so we're ready for action. ------------------------------------------------------ IIWF Intercontinental Championship Martial Arts Match: ------------------------------------------------------ "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Tiger Claw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Tiger Claw comes out to a huge heel pop. As he appears at the top of the aisle, he raises his wrapped fists. Following up behind him are Lau and his corner man, dressed all in black.] TD: That corner man's a big guy. He'll sure keep Casey's hands full. SR: Yeah, but tying his bootlaces keeps Casey's hands full, Dross. The guy's a goody-goody moron. TD: Where are the Horsemen, Steve? Aren't they supposed to be here? SR: Hey, Dross - the Horsemen are men of their words. If they tell you they'll watch your back, they will. [The lights dim, and fireworks erupt from the aisle, rockets shooting up to the arena roof above the ring. A single spotlight picks out Hakiro Matsuoko as he comes down the aisle, accompanied by Casey James. The crowd pop hugely.] TD: The fans really love this guy! [Matsuoko enters the ring, and takes his corner. Casey, up on the apron, gives him some last minute tactical advice, but before the bell can even ring to signify the start of the first round, Tiger Claw attacks Hakiro, going to work with kicks to the midsection, and fists to the temple. Hakiro reels almost immediately. Meanwhile, Flare and Brad Kinder come down the aisle. They walk round to the other side of the ring and just stand there.] TD: Well, I guess the Horsemen do keep their word after all. SR: Just like I said, Dross. [Claw continues the assault on Hakiro, hitting him with his knee fury. Hakiro slumps against the ropes, and the referee forces Claw to move away. Hakiro looks woozy already. The referee decrees Hakiro fit to continue, and allows the two to lock up again. This time, Hakiro is ready, and ducks several punches, stepping back a fraction and hitting Claw in the head with a vicious kick. Claw stumbles backwards. Hakiro goes to work with punches to Claw's torso and ribs. Claw goes down. The referee again steps in, as Claw gets to his feet. Claw is clearly furious, and before the referee even moves out of the way, nails Hakiro with a punch straight to the nose. Blood begins to gush from Hakiro's face.] TD: He busted him right open with that punch! Hakiro needs this round to end right now! SR: Hey, just as well the Venusian Death Cell's not around, huh Dross? TD: Can you be serious for just one moment?! [Just as Claw begins to launch another volley of kicks, the bell rings to signify the end of the first round. Claw gets in one final blow, before retiring to his corner. Casey tends to Matsuoko, placing ice on his now swelling nose. He tries to relax Hakiro, who is clearly in some pain. A few seconds later, the bell rings for the beginning of the second round. This time Hakiro comes out fighting, taking Claw off his feet with a leg sweep, and then driving his heel down onto Claw's sternum, winding the Thai athlete badly. The referee remonstrates with Hakiro for a breach of the rules.] SR: What a cheater! You won't see Tiger Claw going so low! TD: You must be blind, Steve... Hakiro's just fighting fire with fire. [Hakiro waits for Claw to get to his feet, and again hits him with a barrage of kicks. He runs into the ropes to give himself more momentum for a flying kick, but is tripped by Claw's corner man. Casey immediately leaps into action, and begins brawling with the corner man. Casey just about manages to hold his own, and rams the corner man's head into the steel ring post. Casey tries to keep him under control, while in the ring, Hakiro has lost the advantage and is once more being pummelled by Claw. He ducks two lightning-fast punches, and performs a stunning jumping roundhouse kick, taking Claw off his feet. The bell rings for the end of the second round as Claw hits the mat. Casey abandons his battle with the corner man and tends to Hakiro.] SR: I'm amazed this match has gone two rounds, Dross. I thought Claw would finish Hakiro off in the first few seconds! TD: Hakiro is a resilient athlete, and perhaps even more importantly than his physical condition, he has the heart and inner peace necessary to be a champion. He could win this thing yet! [Suddenly, there is a scuffle at the head of the aisle. The Subway Psycho erupts through the curtain, surrounded by a myriad security men and other officials. His progress down the aisle is heavily impeded, but the enraged Psycho is halfway down the aisle by the time the third round begins. Hakiro and Claw cautiously square up in the centre of the ring.] SR: Somebody stop the Subway Psycho! Where are the Horsemen?! I don't think Claw knows the Psycho's in the aisle - he's focused totally on the match. TD: Each man knows now that one blow could end this... they've taken a heck of a lot out of each other. [Hakiro blocks one kick from Claw, but isn't quick enough to block a second. Once more he reels from a volley of kicks to the torso. Just as Claw winds up to provide the killer punch, the Subway Psycho breaks free of his pursuers, and hits the ring like a whirlwind, knocking Claw from behind. The referee rings the bell to end the match, but the carnage is only beginning in the ring. Both corner men leap into the fray, Casey defending both the Psycho and Matsuoko from the onslaught of Claw and his corner man. Brian Lau looks to be beside himself. Flare and Bodybag, however, just stand at ringside and watch the action, enjoying it greatly.] TD: We've got to restore some order here! I thought the Horsemen were supposed to stop the Psycho?! SR: So did I! I guess they had a better idea... [The officials and security men who were pursuing the Psycho enter the ring. They try and break up the four-way brawl that has broken out, but it takes them some time to separate them. Claw attacks the Psycho viciously, pummelling him with his wrapped fists. The Psycho too suffers an injury to his nose, but before further damage can be done, Claw is dragged from the ring. Finally, the ring is cleared. Flare and Brad Kinder pat Brian Lau on the back in "congratulation" on their way past him back to the locker-room area.] RA: The winner of this match, due to a disqualification: Tiger Claw! [Huge heel pop! Lau grabs the Intercontinental belt.] However, titles cannot change hands on a disqualification, so still the IIWF Intercontinental Champion: Hakiro Matsuoko! [The crowd go nuts, as does Lau, who throws down the belt and kicks the ringsteps. He motions to the Subway Psycho that he's dead meat, before following his men from the ring. Casey halps Hakiro from the ring, picking up the belt and draping it over the Angel's shoulder. Both receive big pops from the crowd.] SR: This is ridiculous, Dross. Why can't people just stop interfering in these matches?! TD: Well, Steve, anything goes here in the IIWF... Hakiro may have lost the battle, and got some wounds to show for it, but he's won the war. He's still got the title. SR: Claw was robbed - by the Subway Psycho! That guy has snapped since this whole Sasha thing started. Brian Lau and Tiger Claw are going to have to put an end to this madness. TD: Now it's time for tonight's main event. Let's go down to the ring announcer. ----------------------------------------------------- IIWF World Heavyweight Championship Submission Match: ----------------------------------------------------- The Outlaw vs. Tony Starks ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RA: The next encounter is tonight's main event, and it is for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship! [Big pop!] This will be a submission match. The only decision that counts in this match will be a submission. Otherwise, there are no DQs, no countouts, and no pinfalls. This match also has the stipulation that Flare and Brad "Bodybag" Kinder shall be suspended above the ring in cages to prevent their interference. [Big heel pop as Flare and Bodybag come out, and, almost gamely, enter the cages which have been lowered into the ring. As they are raised up to a height of some twenty feet above the ring, single spotlights pick out their forms inside.] Introducing first, the challenger, from Staten Island, New York, and weighing in at 269 lbs, Tony Starks! [Starks comes out, to a mixed reaction. He doesn't even look at the fans, ice cold determination on his face. He enters the ring and starts checking the ropes.] And introducing his opponent, the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, accompanied to the ring by Miss Victoria Secret, hailing from Parts Unknown, and weighing in at 353 lbs, the Outlaw! [The big heel pop that accompanies the Outlaw's entrance is softened slightly by the "oohs" and "aahs" of the crowd as they see the beautiful Miss Secret, who is wearing a slinky evening dress and walks seductively by the side of the Champion. The Outlaw enters the ring. The timekeeper rings his bell, and the match is underway.] TD: Now, although Starks is giving away around 80lbs in this match to the Outlaw, he's got to be the favourite in this match. He's a master of a myriad submission holds, and the Outlaw's predominantly a power wrestler. SR: I still think you're selling the Outlaw short, Dross - as you'll see. [Starks and Outlaw mix it up in the ring, Outlaw getting the early advantage, bodyslamming Starks and immediately stamping on his right leg. Starks fights to his feet, and is met with another scoop, and a slam. The Outlaw really goes to work on the right leg, draping it over the ropes and jumping on it, dragging Starks to the corner and wrapping it round the ringpost. Starks howls in pain, and is sufficiently immobilised to be more or less powerless.] TD: Well, this is an interesting strategy by the Outlaw. He's focusing on one part of the anatomy, softening it up for a possible submission. Not the kind of style I'd expect from this man. SR: The Outlaw isn't the champ for nothing, you know, Dross. He can mix it up any way you want him to. Plus, of course, he works with the master of the Figure Four, Flare, in the gym every day. [The Outlaw grapevines Starks' leg, but Tony refuses to submit. The crowd even begin to get behind Starks and start chanting "Ton - y! Ton - y!" He inches towards the ropes and grabs them. The referee breaks the hold. Outlaw drags Starks to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. The two men collide in the centre of the ring with a double clothesline, and both men go down. Both men begin to stir at about the same time, but Starks is forced to use the ropes to take the weight off his leg. As he holds onto the ropes, Outlaw sweeps his legs out from under him. Starks howls in pain and rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope. Outlaw follows him out and stamps on his knee. He drags Starks to his feet and attempts to whip him into the steel ringsteps - but Starks reverses, and the Outlaw hits the steps with a huge clang. Pop. Starks picks up the dislodged ring steps, and throws them down with force onto the wounded Outlaw. Big pop.] TD: Wow! What's Starks up to now?! SR: Guess he's trying to make up for lost time. That's not going to keep the Outlaw out for long, though. [Starks rolls the Outlaw back into the ring, and follows him in himself. He applies the Kneelock on the Outlaw, who is suddenly in big trouble. The champion refuses to submit, and struggles to make the distance to the ropes. After an agonising minute or so, he finally makes it to the ropes, and the hold is broken. The referee forces Starks away from the Outlaw while he gets to his feet. Starks almost pushes the referee, and lunges for the Outlaw, attempting to lock the Cross-face Chicken Wing on the Champion. Outlaw feels the hold coming, however, and flips Starks out of the ring with a modified hiptoss. Big pop as Starks flies over the ropes and lands hard on his weak knee.] TD: If Starks had got that hold on the Outlaw, this would have been over right there! We would have had a new IIWF Champion! SR: Yeah, but the Outlaw's a canny competitor, Dross. You'd have to practically kill him to dull that sense of ring savvy in his head. [In the ring, the Outlaw moves to perform a plancha dive over the ropes onto the agonised Starks, but is prevented by the referee. He makes a great point out of distracting the referee for as long as possible, allowing Miss Secret time to make her move. She grabs a chair from beside the timekeepers' table and rams it into Starks' knee. Huge heel pop. She rams it again.] TD: This is disgusting! SR: No, Dross - this is great! I hope Starks' leg is broken! [The crowd are practically going ballistic. Finally, the Outlaw stops distracting the referee and follows Starks outside. He kicks Starks' knee a few more times, simply for effect, and then rolls him back into the centre of the ring. He raises Starks' right leg, and shouts, "Whoooo!"] TD: Oh no! We know what this means! SR: Alright! The Figure Four Leglock! It's all over! [The Outlaw drops to the mat, wrapping Starks' right leg in the Figure Four Leglock. Starks howls with pain, and has no option but to submit. The referee signals for the match to end.] RA: Here is your winner - and still IIWF World Heavyweight Champion: the Outlaw! [Huge heel pop. The Outlaw refuses to break the hold. The referee begins counting the Outlaw.] TD: If the Outlaw doesn't release that hold, the referee will reverse the decision, and he'll lose the title! SR: What?! Let go, Outlaw! Let go! [In the nick of time, the Outlaw releases the hold, and raises his arms aloft in victory. Huge heel pop. As the cages are lowered into the ring, the Outlaw straps the gold belt around his waist and stands above the pained Starks. Flare and Bodybag leave the cages, and stand with the Outlaw, laughing at the injured Starks. They spit on him, and leave the ring, Flare arm-in-arm with Miss Secret, amidst objects thrown by the crowd.] TD: That was disgusting! Why did they have to spit on Starks? SR: I love it, Dross! What style the Horsemen have! [Starks is unable to walk, and the referee signals a stretcher team to carry Starks out. As the New Yorker is stretchered out of the arena, he is cheered by the majority of the crowd.] TD: Well, I might not like Starks' style under normal circumstances, but I think he came in here tonight with only one goal - to win the IIWF World Title cleanly. And of course the Horsemen have to cheat. I'm not surprised Starks was cheered by these fans. Even if he hasn't earned our affection, he's certainly earned our respect here tonight. SR: Yeah, whatever. I only hope his leg is broken. TD: You're disgusting! [Cut to Dross and Roberts at the broadcast table.] Well, fans, that's just about all we have time for this week on IIWF Saturday Night! We've been coming at you live from the IIWF Coliseum, and we'll be back again next week with more unbelievable wrestling action. We'll update you on all of the developments we've seen here tonight in Tuesday's Control Centre update, but for now, this is Tim Dross, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, saying: so long, everybody. SR: You're such a windbag, Dross. [Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+