##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Report - 7th June 1996 ----------------------------------------------- Hi there, and welcome to another IIWF Control Centre report! I am, as always, Tim Dross, and today I'll be bringing you: - results and reaction to the first ever IIWF Midweek Mayhem, which went down live on Wednesday night - details concerning several newcomers to the IIWF - news on this weekend's card - an indepth look at the current world title contenders in my Dross Report - and a look ahead to next week's cards So let's get straight to it! IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 5th June 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fans experienced quite a night of wrestling entertainment this past Wednesday in the IIWF Coliseum, when the first ever Midweek Mayhem rocked the house! Let's run down the results: - FISTO FLASH defeated fellow newcomer MAN OF STEEL. Let's get comments from the victorious Fisto Flash: [SCENE: the IIWF interview area.] Robo Stone: Gee, Fisto, I hope you didn't break a sweat beatin' Jobber of Steel! Fisto Flash: I wouldn't break a sweat beatin' the REAL Superman. I have shown the world what Fisto Flash can do. I have proven that I'm the iron destroyer and I can destroy ANTYTHING. Absolutely NO man can beat me. Robo Stone: That's right, baby. NONE! Fisto: But I'm not on top a' the mountain, yet. I've still gotta kick some more butts. Maybe some more JOBBERS A' STEEL! HA! HA! HA! I hear about a man called Robski dissin' me. Well, my friend, I know how you British are. You're very tough in front of the camera and behind the curtain. But when it comes down to it, when we face each other in the ring, you englishmen all FALL. As will you. Robo Stone: The Iron Destroyer all the way! The IIWF better get ready for FISTO FLASH! [Fade] Meanwhile, the Man Of Steel wants an alliance to strengthen his hand. Let's go to his pretaped comments: [SCENE: Man of Steel has justed stopped an armed robbery at the 1st National Bank in New York.] MOS: [To the Police Chief] Everything okay now chief? I think everyone's out and safe. Chief: Thanks a lot, Man Of Steel. We couldn't do without you. MOS: [Turns to the camera] Good evening IIWF. It has come to my attention that we have another crime fighter among us. Hello Casey James. I am impressed with the way you conduct yourself and would like to put a proposal to you. Join up with the Man of Steel to form the team to take the IIWF tag team championship. [Gathered fans Cheer] The Man of Steel works hard and so do you. I await your reply at your earliest opportunity. But don't stop any good work that you are doing just for me. [MOS hears a cry from a women being attacked] I must leave now. People need my help. Goodbye IIWF. [Fade] I took the opportunity to catch up with Casey earlier today, and this is what he had to say: [SCENE: Tim Dross stands with Casey James in the IIWF interview area.] TD: Hello, folks, I'm standing here with Casey "Whitebread" James, the self-appointed hand of justice in the IIWF. Casey, I assume you've heard the invitation put forth by the Man Of Steel... CJ: Yes, I have... This man caught my eye upon his arrival to the IIWF. I finally saw a man who has the same purpose in his heart. I saw a man who rights wrongs, who makes things that were bad good again. I saw a hero, not unlike myself. I saw a man who would proudly stand up for the meek, and crush those who use power unjustly. I saw a man I could respect. TD: So what do you plan on doing? CJ: I would like to accept the invitation of the Man of Steel, but there are a few things I have to straighten out before we team up. First is dealing with Moondust in our matchup this Saturday. Second is dealing with Tiger Claw. I still have a bone to pick with him. After I have tied up these loose ends, I would be glad to step into the ring as the Man of Steel's partner. Together, we could rid the IIWF of the scourge that calls themselves the Horsemen! TD: You plan to take on the Horsemen? CJ: This is nothing new... Ever since the Clash, I had vowed to take these men on. The cheat, they lie, and they steal. They must be punished... I'm the wielder of the Hammer of Justice, friends... And now, there's a man who shares my quest for what is right. There's nowhere to hide now. TD: Thanks, Casey. [Fade] So it looks like Casey "Whitebread" James sees the Man Of Steel as being cut from the same loaf! We'll have more on this later on. - JACK HALEY not only defeated, but decimated DON ANTONIO. The "Green Giant", formerly one of the most gentle and kind people I've ever met, has really been going off the rails in recent weeks. He's discovered the mean side to his character... and until now I've been mystified as to what the reason could possibly be. But when I was anonymously forwarded a letter that Haley had sent to the man who came down to ringside to watch the match, _Flare_, of all people, things became a little clearer: Comments from Jack Haley, The Giant: +-- You haven't been hearing from me lately. I'd always been told to hold back on saying stuff until it wasn't mean anymore. Well here it is a week after being screwed with again by the Venusian Death Cell, with no support from anyone. Where were the officials? Why couldn't they stop this stuff? I joined the IIWF because I thought it was a straight up, no foolin' organization, where a young man could earn his keep fair and square. Then I get messed with by a man in a cage who doesn't play by the rules. Well two can play at that game. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. And that is what I am going to do. I'm through screwing around. I know I can beat any asylum reject in a fight where I can play by the same rules as him. And I know I have the size to beat any man single-handedly as long as I have someone watching my back. I want security, and I think I know where to find it. Back during the IIWF's first pay-per-view, someone speculated that I might make a good Horseman. At the time, that seemed pretty silly to me. But, like all good rookies, I learn. And being a Horseman in this league without order or decency, sounds like a good idea. They'd be like my family. Flare, if you still have room in your stable for me, and I know you do, look me up. That is all. +-- Quite what will become of this, I can't say at this stage. More as we get it. Don Antonio, meanwhile, is rumoured to be close to leaving the IIWF. Certainly after the beating he took in this match, he doesn't look like having much of a future in the rings. - ALPHABET BOYS defeated STUNT TEAM USA Newcomers Stunt Team USA had an easy debut last Saturday, and found out on Wednesday just how tough it is in the IIWF's rings when they were beaten by the unorthodox and unpredictable Alphabet Boys. However, Steve and Ron know that the best way to make up for a loss is with a victory, and they've issued a challenge for a rematch: [SCENE: Ron and Steve sit in front of a TV set and watch their match against the Alphabet Boys] Ron: "Oh gosh, look at that. It was my fault... I should have kicked his butt out of the ring first!" Steve: "No, that's ok, Ron. The Alphabet Boys are quite good athletes. This time they had better luck, next time we will stomp them into the ground!" Ron: "Yeah, sure. So how about it A-Boys? How about a re-match? Prove that you are made outta champion-material! You beat us once, but ya can't do it again!" Steve: "That's right. So what is your answer? We wait!" [Fade] It seems that the Alphabet Boys would be only too happy to oblige: [SCENE: The IIWF Coliseum, hours after Mayhem has ended. Trash and discarded signs litter the area. The Alphabet Boys sit way off in an upper deck. The camera can barely distinguish who they are.] Abie: WE WON!!! WEEEEEEEE WOOOOOOON!! Zed: YEAH! WE! WON! Abie: I wanna do that again real soon. Zed: Me too. That would be great. [Fade out] - JOE LATTA pinned RENO BLOOD [J] Joe Latta made a very impressive debut in singles competition on Wednesday night, and we'll be hearing from him and Dan "Flash" Kauffman later in the show. - MOONDUST defeated FLARE by disqualification Flare's propensity for cheating backfired on him when he was caught nailing his androgynous opponent with a roll of coins, and he was disqualified, gaining a vital win for Moondust. - SUBWAY PSYCHO defeated BRAD "BODYBAG" KINDER by disqualification Not a good night for the Horsemen as Kinder also lost his match. However, this was largely to do with the arrival of Tiger Claw, who perpetuated another brutal attack on the Subway Psycho. Subway will get his chance to get even this weekend, when he and Claw square off one on one; but what kind of a state will he be in, after Claw's attack? I caught up with the Psycho in his locker-room just after his match on Wednesday, and conducted the following interview: [SCENE: Tim Dross finds the Subway Psycho in the locker-room after Midweek Mayhem. Psycho is shaken up and is bleeding slightly from the mouth.] TD: Psycho, may I have a word with you? SP: Uh...[still groggy]...yeah, sure Tim, what do you want to know? TD: What are your impressions on what just happened? SP: Pretty much what I expected. TD: You expected to get attacked by the Horsemen and Tiger Claw? SP: Sure, I'm not stupid. That's what the IIWF is all about. I was wrestling a Horseman. The other Horsemen are going to step in. That's their way. I cost Tiger Claw the IC title. Of course he'd want to do me in. Hell, he wants to weaken me up for Saturday's match. TD: So you're fine with this? SP: Not exactly... It's one thing for the Horsemen to get me, and it's one thing for Claw to jump me, but I have to question the Horsemen for letting Claw in there with them. What's up boys? Can't you take care of business on your own? If I were a Horseman, which is the last thing I'd ever be, I wouldn't let some outsider take care of my business. I'm particularly pissed at Outlaw. If he wanted to bash my head in on the ring post, let him try, but we've known each other a long time... hell, we've even aligned ourselves together in the past, and for him to let Claw get near me is pretty weak. So what's up big man? Is hanging out with Flare softening you? TD: Some strong comments towards the Champ! Now, you say that you'd never be a Horsemen. You know they've been scouting for a fourth. You've been a bit of a loose cannon lately...that seems just their style. SP: Yeah, sure, but they all get carried away. Look at tonight... Flare lost because he cheated, and Bodybag lost because of the other Horsemen. Wake up fellas, the Outlaw has the gold and you two guys have nothing but a couple of losing records. I've been what you called "a loose cannon", but I'm in control of myself and my destiny. TD: So what about Saturday? SP: Claw...don't think you've accomplished anything. I'm gonna tie you to the tracks and run wild on you! I'm pretty much sick of dealing with you and your scummy manager and I'm finally gonna be through with you once and for all! [Fade] Newcomers Update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A memorandum I received earlier this week from IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury confirmed that the singles ranks of the IIWF are now closed. However, a few more wrestlers made it in before the deadline. One of them, of course, is Joe Latta, who we've already seen in action, and was highly impressive. Let's take a look at his stats: JOE LATTA Weight: 265lbs Height: 6'5" Origin: Hagerstown, Maryland Manager/Valet: Carla Daughtery (Valet) Appearance: Muscular, heavy-set man with parted brown hair. Wears gold leg-length tights with "The Master" on the back, and wrap-around sunglasses. Theme Music: "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette Face/Heel: Face Five Favorite Moves: Tilt-A-Whirl Powerbomb Overhead Press Slam Flying Clothesline Powerslam Top-Rope Belly-To-Belly Suplex Finishing Move: "Shotgun Suplex" [Handler: Dan Kauffman (skauff@bigdog.fred.net)] Finally, a rather sinister individual known as the Prince of Darkness has joined the ranks, and he's reported to have sold his soul to the devil in exchange for superior wrestling gifts. Let's hear from him: [SCENE: an old gym. Prince of Darkness, accompanied by Dr, Faustus, is in the wrestling ring training. On the mat lie the battered bodies of seven sparring partners.] POD: For every "Deadly Sin", I have defeated a sparring partner. IIWF!! I'm coming for that belt. Anything else but gold is inacceptable. My lord, the mighty Lucifer, would demand nothing less. Faustus: That's right, POD! IIWF.... we're coming for the gold, bringing fear to the IIWF like it has never seen before. POD: All men have fear... except the Prince of Darkness! Fear fears me! Those of you who don't know fear... you will, when you look into my eyes in the heat of combat and realize the cold stare. Behind the stare is the feeling that it envokes. The same feeling that kept you awake when you were a child. The same feeling that strikes you as disease infests your body!!! You can't run. You can't hide. Even if you try, the "Boogie Man" will get you!! Say your prayers before you fight me. You may not come back. [Camera fades as POD continues to batter opponents] I'm not going to pretend I even like this guy. [shudders] Now let's take a look at his stats: PRINCE OF DARKNESS Weight: 319 lbs. Height: 6'10" Origin: Parts unknown Manager/Valet: Dr. Faustus Appearance: POD comes to the ring wearing a reaper's robe. Once in the ring, he wears jet black wrestling gear. Along the sides of his tights are shooting red flames. The back of his tights have the letters "POD" written on them. He is well-muscled, with long red hair and cold blue eyes. His left cheek reveals a hideous scar (reportedly left there by Lucifer himself as a reminder to POD of the pain that he shall one day endure in the afterlife). Dr. Faustus has a slicked back pony tail with a neatly trimmed goatee. He wears expensive Armani suits and he is never seen without his sunglasses. Theme Music: "Boogie Man" by Aerosmith Face/Heel: Heel 5 Favorite Moves: - Tombstone piledriver - power bomb - power body slam - superplex - chokeslam Finishing move: "Misery Drop". Basically, it's an Arn Anderson style spinebuster. The opponent can be immobile, flying, coming off the ropes, etc. for it to be applied. [Handler: Robert Wallace Eddy (v57rwe@morgan.ucs.mun.ca)] IIWF Saturday Night - 8th June 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Live tomorrow night from the Coliseum, we're going to see another great card of wrestling entertainment. Let's run it down, and get comments from some of the participants: Dan "Flash" Kauffman & Joe Latta vs. The Rotundos These two great singles athletes team up for the first time. I get the feeling that this is something of a learning experience for the promising rookie, Joe Latta. We sent our cameras down to the gym and got these comments: [SCENE: In a wrestling gym just outside of the IIWF Colloseum, a crowd has gathered around the lone wrestling ring in the center of the room, while Joe Latta has his way with a sparring partner. The guy runs at Joe, who easily powerslams him into the mat...] Joe: Just like that poor excuse for a "wrestler" that I had to give a butt-kicking to on Wednesday! Man, if this is all the competition I'm going to get, the championship will be a breeze to get to! [The crowd nods in agreement, smiling at the brash newcomer in good humor. The mood is one of laughter and jocularity, as Latta continues his trash talking while catching the sparring partner with a good gut-wrench suplex.] Joe: That will be the Deathbringer lying on the canvas, while I demolish him with the ol' Shotgun Suplex! One, Two, Three, and another win for the Master! The IIWF has nothing to throw at me! Let the good time roll!!!... [From a hallway of the gym emerges Dan Kauffman, apparently having heard Joe's comments. He makes his way through the crowd while talking to Joe...] Dan: So, the IIWF is going to be a cakewalk, huh Joe? Joe: OF COURSE!! Dan, they have nothing to throw at me! Dan: I take it that the guy you beat on Wednesday was a "top" contender... Joe: Well... OK, he wasn't, but Dan, It took less than twenty seconds! Dan: I see... [pauses] and the Deathbringer... you'll be able to put him on the mat and KEEP him on the mat, eh Joe? Joe: It can't be that hard! I mean, you saw what I did to that other guy. The Deathbringer will be a breeze to wrestle! Dan: [smiles at Joe] So in other words, wrestling is... "All That" and a bowl of cherries, huh Joe? Joe: EXACTLY!!! Dan: [Turns away from Joe]... I'm glad you think so... [With that comment, Dan lashes out and drills Joe with a vicious reverse thrust kick, to the crowd's utter shock! Dan drags Joe up and whips him off the ropes, then as Joe bounds off, he goes off the other side and nails the "Scythe", the Deathbringer's flying lariat. Joe goes down hard, and Dan drags him up again. He grabs Joe by the throat and chokeslams him to the canvas! Finally, Dan drags Joe over to the turnbuckle, and climbs the buckles. He hoists Joe up, and sets for the "Burial". Dan jumps off, but lands on his feet while still holding Joe, saving Joe from the devastating impact! Dan flips Joe back to his feet and let's go. Joe, off-balance, stumbles back, falls, and slides into the opposite corner, a stunned look on his face! The crowd is absolutely silent.] Dan: Wrestling is just a bowl of cherries, huh Joe? [Joe looks up at Dan, but says nothing.] Dan: You are lucky. The Deathbringer didn't stop when he put me in that Burial. He won't stop with you, either. So I suggest you get serious for once in your life and prepare for your day of reckoning! Joe: Dan, what the hell did you do that... Dan: I SAID BE SEROIUS!!! The Deathbringer will pound your carcass and leave it out to dry in seconds, just like you did to your last opponent! He's done it to me, Joe. TWICE!! He can damn well do it to you! Do you hear me? Joe: [After a couple of seconds] Yeah, I hear you. Dan: Good. I got us a tag match for tommorow. I hope you come to that ring with a little focus for once. Joe: Sure, I will. Dan: Good. Now you know the Deathbringer will come after you, and he won't have... Joe: Any mercy. I said I heard you, Dan. [Dan pulls Joe up from the corner, and pats him on the back] Dan: You got a lot to learn, Joe. [Dan and Joe leave while talking to each other, probably continuing this same discussion... Fade] "LOSER LEAVES IIWF" HANDICAP MATCH: Altair vs. High Velocity The dissent in the ranks of the Senator's men comes to a head tomorrow night as Altair fights for survival against his former colleagues. Will it be High Velocity packing their bags and heading out of the IIWF, or will Altair fall victim to the Senator's plan? The Returners vs. Barnacle Brothers Sabin Rene Figaro and Locke Cole make their IIWF debuts against the sea-faring Barnacle Brothers in a blistering tag-team battle! Casey "Whitebread" James vs. Moondust Casey James has a date with Moondust this Saturday night - and we've already heard Moondust's plans, and that Billy Shakespeare is planning a little surprise. I don't know what's going to happen in this one, folks, but rest assured that it's bound to be mighty weird. Tiger Claw vs. Subway Psycho These two will meet and attempt to settle their differences this Saturday night. It's been a heated and bitter feud: will one match really end the dispute? According to Brian Lau, the answer is "yes", although we also have to endure the questionable talents of Kenny Tanaka: [SCENE: Kenny Tanaka, Brian Lau and Tiger Claw standing in a group] Kenny Tanaka: Hello, folks. I'm Kenny Tanaka. Once again Tim Dross is getting on my case. What did I ever do to him to deserve this disrespect? Brian: I could tell you right now, Kenny. You're Oriental. Tim Dross isn't. Everyone is jealous of people like us. They feel threatened by us. We are superior fighters, superior intellects, and superior artists... It pains people to think that the East will be the centre of civilization in a few decades. It's natural. I've seen it happen time and time again ESPECIALLY in wrestling. I can't count the times that my men have been overlooked for a title shot because of the place where they were born. Don't worry... Stick with me, and I won't let anything happen. Kenny: Thank you for your generosity, Brian... Anyway, we're here to talk about what's happening with you, not with me... So what are your thoughts on this past Wednesday's card? Brian: Well, it didn't have Tiger Claw booked for a match, so how good can it be? Seriously, though, it was a good oppoertunity to scout the new talent. I know that every one of them will aim to take Tiger Claw out... People fear Tiger Claw. Everyone wants him eliminated. Kenny: Can you shed some light on the altercation with the Subway Psycho? Brian: I'd be happy to. Tiger Claw was in the building for some negotiations with some people who shall remain nameless. After the negotiations, he heard Subway Psycho insult certain members of Tiger Claw's lineage. Tiger Claw is very proud of his family, and took this pretty badly. As a result, he felt that he had to confront this Psycho... I must say it was very nice of the Horsemen to help Tiger Claw beat Psycho into a stupor. Kenny: So how about the match on Saturday? Brian: Well, let's put it this way. Every time Tiger Claw has come in contact with Subway Psycho, Tiger Claw has the upper hand. At the Clash, Tiger Claw won the match. When Psycho inerfered in the martial arts challenge, he ended up with a broken face. On Wednesday, I'm sure he lost a few teeth. Psycho, you'd better buy plenty of straws before Saturday, because you're going to need them to eat anything afterwards... Tiger Claw will get you out of the way once and for all so we won't have any interferences in a title shot with Hakiro Matsuoko. That's another thing. Matsuoko, don't think that we've forgotten about you. After Psycho is crippled, we're coming straight for you. Kenny: Any comments, Tiger Claw? [Tiger Claw just stands tall with a grim expression on his face] Kenny: Guess not... Well, that's all for me, folks. For Brian Lau and Tiger Claw, this is Kenny Tanaka saying so long! [Fade] Flare vs. The Crippler Just added to tomorrow's card, Flare will get his chance for revenge against the man who eliminated him from the Intercontinental Championship battle royal three weeks ago. IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Venusian Death Cell This is a highly dangerous match for Hakiro to be getting into, but his honour prevents him from turning down any challenge. Let's hear from the champ: [Scene: Hakiro Matsuoko stands in the IIWF Interview area, wearing his very prized IC title belt.] HM: Tiger Claw, you had no cause to interfere with the match of the Psycho. That is why I came down when you were going to attack him. It is our destiny to meet in the ring, to see who is the best. The powerful force of fate has thrown us into this time together. We will meet soon, and after that, there will be no more. Venusian Death Cell, many people think you are without a method, I know better. There is a distinct method to your madness. You are a great athlete, there is no doubt in that. My spiritual calm will guide me this week, I will be in a Zen state this weekend when I face you. You are my most dangerous opponent yet. I will prepare. I hope you do the same. [Fade] In order to get comments from the VDC regarding this match, I paid another visit to his jail: [SCENE: The Venusian Death Cell is on his bed reading a newspaper in his padded bedroom. Next to his bed is a bottle of blood. The Jailer is at his desk playing solitaire. Tim Dross and the IIWF camera crew enter the room.] Jailer [unaware of the presence of Dross]: Come on, haven't you finished it yet? Give it here! VDC [in a throaty voice]: OK, OK. TD: Good afternoon folks! Only me... Jailer: What the......? How did _you_ get in? [raising his voice] GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! HOW DARE YOU JUST WALK IN LIKE THAT? [The Jailer walks over to Dross and the camera crew and begins to push them out the door.] TD [now outside, whispering]: Well, it appears that the rumors were true and the Death Cell can actually understand English it appears, but that accent is one I've never heard before. I wonder where he does actually come from. I think this was probably _my_ last visit to this place. Geez, we're running out of reporters. [The VDC's handlers come storming out of the building and begin to chase Dross and the camera crew out of the grounds. The screen flickers to black as a camera falls to the floor and the lense cracks.] Thankfully, we got out of there in one piece, but the mystery of the VDC just keeps deepening. Nevertheless, he's still going to be a major hurdle for the Angel of the Sun. IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Outlaw vs. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec The Outlaw has yet to win a title defence without the assistance of the other Horsemen, even those with special stipulations. Simon Lebec has got to be worried about the Horsemen interfering in this match. At least, that's what you'd think. Of course, being Simon Lebec, it's only of secondary concern to him: [SCENE: IIWF interview area. Lebec stands with Miss Crystal.] Lebec: This Saturday I face an Outlaw. What the hell is he running from? You see, Mr. Outlaw, I'm coming for one thing... and you know what that is. Do me a favour? Keep your Horsemen goons at home. Let's see if you can beat a MAN! After I win on Saturday... you know... the title... then there's the contingent of chicks wanting me... the endorsement deals... perhaps then I'll have time to marvel on the fact that I'm perfect. [Fade] The Outlaw wasn't in his usual talkative mood after his little skirmish with the Subway Psycho on Wednesday night, but we did get the following comments: [SCENE: Backstage following the debut of IIWF "Midweek Mayhem" on Wednesday night. The Outlaw has the IIWF World Championship belt draped over his shoulder and stares into the camera. He speaks:] There is a little problem shaping up here in the IIWF. As we saw tonight in the main event, the battle lines are becoming a little blurred and no one is sure who they can trust. Well the Horsemen don't have that problem. Tiger Claw, you interfered in Bodybag's match tonight. Your time will come. Psycho, we gave you one present by not kicking your butt a week ago. Maybe that was a mistake, but it's a mistake that won't happen again! We go back a long way, Psycho. We both know the lonely path and how hard it is to make allies. You confronted me earlier and accused me of getting soft. Look at this, Psycho [he points to the championship belt]. You don't get this from being soft! Bodybag and Flare may not be doing so well right now, but the Horsemen still have the gold. And it's a matter of time before Bodybag is the Intercontinental Champ. Bank on that! As for this weekend, Simon Lebec should have watched the footage of Tony Starks being carried from the ring. If you value that pretty boy face of yours, Lebec, don't bother showing up Saturday. And everyone else in the IIWF had better get ready for a really big surprise . . . courtesy of the Horsemen. [Fade out] I think I can guess what this "big surprise" is going to be, but for now I'd better keep my speculation to a minimum. What I will speculate on, however, is what a great card we have in prospect this Saturday night! It promises to be another explosion of thermonuclear proportions! The Dross Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We've examined the Outlaw in some detail in recent weeks, so perhaps now it's time to move down the rankings a little way and take a look at the top contenders. For example, let's take a look at the top five as they currently stand: --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name F/H Fought Won Drawn Lost Ranking --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Outlaw H 5 5 0 0 WC Hakiro Matsuoko F 3 1 0 2 IC --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dan Kauffman F 5 3 1 1 1 Tiger Claw H 4 3 0 1 2 Billy Shakespeare F 3 2 0 1 3= Subway Psycho F 3 2 0 1 3= Moondust H 3 2 0 1 3= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, it's still early days here in the IIWF, but there are certainly two clear contenders emerging already. Dan "Flash" Kauffman has proved in the past few weeks that he has all the heart and spirit of a champion; the only thing he lacks is the gold. Likewise, Tiger Claw has built up a strong winning streak recently, and he's got to be considered a very dangerous contender. With the IIWF's second PPV spectacular, Ring Wars, only three weeks away, the front office have to be thinking about who's going to get a shot at the Outlaw on June 29. Let's see if we can help them out a little. The rankings I've shown exclude such athletes as the Deathbringer, who seems to be getting his skills back in check after a shaky start, Tony Starks, who is currently undergoing treatment for his knee injuries, and Brad "Bodybag" Kinder, although this Horseman won't necessarily be wanting to battle his own colleague. These guys are going to have to get a few more wins under their belts before they can be considered true contenders; and I predict that the Psycho will burst into the top three before too long. He has the chance to beat Tiger Claw tomorrow night, and that could be a most important victory. What about Moondust? This bizarre individual has a largely undeclared agenda here in the IIWF. Although he seems to have taken a liking to "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, he has professed no desire for titles, and is possibly only here to have what he calls a "good time". This Saturday, he takes on Casey James, and this match could be a good barometer for his focus inside the squared circle. Billy Shakespeare himself hasn't been doing too badly, although his rise is being hindered by one Moondust - the loss to "Showstopper" Simon Lebec at last weekend's card is said to have upset Billy greatly, and he's been working and training like a demon to make up for lost time. However, with his style and build, Shakespeare is more likely to be a contender for the Intercontinental Championship in the near future - and he'll be a hurdle that Brad "Bodybag" Kinder is going to have to pass if the Horseman wants to prove himself a worthy contender for Hakiro's title. Which brings us to the top two contenders. Tiger Claw is a very dangerous individual; he possesses resilience, tenacity, endurance, and a huge offensive arsenal, which was convincingly demonstrated in his match against Hakiro Matsuoko. However, Claw came up short and failed to win the Intercontinental Championship for a number of reasons: firstly, his manager, Brian Lau, is a sadistic individual who wants to see Claw injure and maim his opponents; secondly, Claw himself has a blood-lust which often clouds his judgement - although he undoubtedly has that killer instinct in abundance, what he doesn't have is a cool head. Ultimately, it could be that hot-headedness that keeps him out of the title picture. Again, his match with the Subway Psycho tomorrow night will be a big test for Claw. If he wins, he'll move into number one contention for either title. That number one spot, however, is currently held by Dan "Flash" Kauffman. This much-loved light heavyweight has really been impressive since making his IIWF debut, and he is undoubtedly, in my opinion, one to watch for the title. However, his usual focus and determination have been somewhat diffused in the past couple of weeks by the arrival of his friend, and now protege, Joe Latta. This extremely promising rookie seems to need Dan's calming influence and guidance in order to succeed; however, with the Deathbringer breathing down his neck, will Kauffman be forced to abandon his title aspirations for the time being? I would have to state that the answer would be an unequivocal "yes!" - Kauffman can't afford to ignore the Deathbringer, who is one of the most dangerous competitors in the IIWF, and also in the unique position of always being a contender, no matter where he is ranked. If either Hakiro or the Outlaw find themselves in the ring with the Deathbringer, they would almost certainly leave the ring without their belts... and possibly on a stretcher. So who is going to get that coveted title shot at Ring Wars? The situation will crystallise over the course of the next few cards, and I'd expect announcements on the line-up to start filtering through after next Saturday night's card. For now, though, that's all from the Dross Report. IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 12th June 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here, hot from the fax line from the IIWF front office, is next Wednesday's card: Robski vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare NON-TITLE MATCH: Steamroller vs. Rising Sun Revolution Deathbringer vs. Jack Haley MANAGER MATCH: "Outlaw" Josey Wales vs. The Senator Casey James & Man Of Steel vs. High Plains Drifters Prince of Darkness vs. Joe Latta That looks like it's going to be a real stormer! Let's go to pre-taped comments from "Outlaw" Josey Wales, who this Wednesday will be stepping back into the ring for the first time since his retirement: [SCENE: A run down salloon, just like the ones in the old west. A figure appears at the dual swinging doors.] Bar Patron: Who's that guy coming in? Bar tender: That's Josey Wales... the most dangerous man who ever lived. [Josey Wales, manager and trainer of The High Plains Drifters enters. His tall, lean body is scarred from countless fights. His skin is tan and wrinkled like leather.] Josey Wales: Remember me? [Patrons cower behind tables] I've been out of action for a while, but it appears I've been issued a challenge. Does anyone here ever remember me backing down from a challenge? [Silence] JW: Good. If anyone has forgotten what I can do to a man, watch me in action in next week's Midweek Mayhem. [Wales exits. The bar patrons have a collective sigh of relief. Fade] We'll have more comments from the participants and more news in our next Report. Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, that's just about all we've got time for today. I'll be back on Tuesday, bringing you more news, views, comments and reaction on all the latest happenings in the IIWF. Don't miss IIWF Saturday Night, coming at you live from the Coliseum tomorrow! But for now, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+