##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Midweek Mayhem ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * IIWF Coliseum * 19 June 1996 [Graphics of the opening titles subside, and reveal a wide shot of the IIWF Coliseum, packed, as usual, to the rafters. As fireworks erupt high in the roof of the arena, the shot pans down past rows of screaming fans and comes to rest on the announcers' table, where Larry Morton and Becky LaRue are standing.] LM: Welcome everybody once more to the IIWF Coliseum! We are coming at you live... and this is IIWF Midweek Mayhem! I'm Larry Morton, and with me as always is the lovely Becky LaRue... BL: Flattery will get you nowhere, Larry. But that's okay, because tonight we're going to see some great action. Fisto Flash is going to destroy Casey "Whitebread" James here in the Coliseum, Brad Kinder is going to bury the Prince of Darkness, and Robski is going to get a shot at the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Hakiro Matsuoko! LM: Don't forget that Moondust will be in action, facing the unpredictable Venusian Death Cell, who is now in Josey Wales' "Posse". Plus, Joe Latta will face Deathbringer one on one in what promises to be one of the finest matches of the year. Let's get some comments from Deathbringer: [SCENE: Somewhere in a moor covered with fog. Deathbringer stands beside an old oak. He speaks:] "Well done, mortal... Subway Psycho, you won our match, and although you just won it by surprise you defeated death himself... for now. However, we WILL meet again... somewhere, somewhen... But this does not matter now. What matters is OUR matchup, Latta... I always accused you of losing your focus. And maybe I lost my focus myself, but this will never happen again. Why, do you think, did DEATH survive through the ages? Because it is able to adapt to new situations like nothing else. So any action you launch against me will backfire. Every action will push you towards your own grave. And depending on you it could all end up with my Burial and your burial... [Deathbringer's demonic laughter is heard] Latta, admit your fear, obey the reaper and my voice will take you home... And as far as you are concerned, Kauffman: Do not play any tricks on me... Not even the Coroner could stop me this time... Latta, prepare for your date with death... prepare to meet your maker!" [Fade] LM: Chilling stuff! But you can bet Latta's going to be fired up in that match. Anyway, now it's time to go down to the ring for our first encounter - Tiger Claw is in action! Tiger Claw vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: I'm really looking forward to this matchup to see how Tiger Claw bounces back from his recent loss to the Subway Psycho, Becky. BL: Well, "Nifty" Ned Norton probably isn't looking forward to it because I have a feeling Tiger Claw is going to release some frustration on him. LM: We'll see about that. But first let's welcome another special guest to ringside for this match. Joining us is the "Angel of the Sun," IIWF Intercontinental Champion Hakiro Matsuoko, who is sure to be a key figure in the upcoming IIWF pay-per-view, Ring Wars! [Big pop as fireworks explode and Matsuoko works his way to the broadcast table, shaking hands with fans as he goes. He finally joins Larry and Becky and dons a headseat] LM: Hakiro, it's a pleasure to have you with us tonight. I know you'll be wrestling Robski later on tonight, but your insight to this match with Tiger Claw and "Nifty" Ned will be invaluable. BL: Oh stop sucking up to him, Larry. Admit it, Hakiro, you're out here scouting Tiger Claw. HM: It is a pleasure to be with you both tonight. I have trained hard for my contest with Robski, but you are correct Miss LaRue. I do not miss an opportunity to watch a potential opponent and to measure his growth in the ring. BL: What do you mean _potential_ opponent? Are you ducking Tiger Claw? Are you.... [LaRue is interrupted by the ring bell] LM: Sorry, Becky, but you'll have to finish that thought later. We've got IIWF action coming up on Midweek Mayhem. [A generic instrumental piece plays over the PA system as "Nifty" Ned Norton arrives to scattered cheers. A slender man, he wears pink tights and has long blond hair. He vaults the top rope into the ring and waves at the fans in the first row. The music is quickly replaced by a chaotic mix of Oriental drums horns and bells as smoke pours from the entry portal. Brian Lau steps through the smoke and points back to the entry way, where Tiger Claw walks through and strikes several Thai boxing poses for the camera. Brian Lau says only one word: "Matsuoko!" Then the two make their way to the ring.] LM: Wow, Hakiro, it looks like Tiger Claw may have his mind elsewhere tonight. Namely, on you and the Intercontinental Belt. HM: A true competitor measures his skills by his opponent on any given night. Tiger Claw would be well served to focus his inner and outer strength on Mr. Norton. [Tiger Claw enters the ring and begins a traditional ring ceremony. He moves around the ring with his right hand on the top rope.] LM: What's all this about, Hakiro? HM: It is an ancient ritual, Mr. Morton. It is an appeal to the spirits for victory. It is an honourable rite wasted on a cowardly warrior. BL: Hey, Matsuoko, you watch your mouth. [The crowd begins to jeer Claw as he completes his ritual: wielding an imaginary spear, with which he strikes an imaginary opponent. He then acts out the digging of a grave, and pushes the corpse into it. Brian Lau removes the loop of cord from Claw's head, and Claw bows to the corner, the crowd giving a long and hard heel reaction. As if on cue, "Nifty" Ned charges from his corner and begins raining forearm blows on Tiger Claw's chest. The attack seems to have little effect on Tiger Claw, who grabs "Nifty" Ned's hair and flings him into the corner. Tiger Claw delivers A series of chops and follows with a back heel kick that lifts "Nifty" Ned to the top turnbuckle before he falls face first onto the mat.] BL: Well, it certainly looks like "Nifty" Ned has Tiger Claw's full inner and outer attention now. I'm just afraid we might see "Nifty" Ned's inner strength all over the mat before this match is over. [With Norton centered in the ring, Tiger Claw unleashes his punching fury and drops his opponent to the mat once again. He continues with a series of kicks and it is soon obvious that "Nifty" Ned is in trouble.] LM: It's pretty obvious that "Nifty" Ned is in trouble. Tiger Claw has been all offense in this one and Norton is paying the price. HM: There is a difference between fighting an opponent for victory and fighting an opponent to hurt him. That is a difference I do not think Brian Lau has taught Tiger Claw. It is one of his flaws as an honorable competitor. BL: I'm not sure Tiger Claw is too concerned about being honorable right now. He's got his eyes on the Intercontinental Championship. So when are you going to accept Tiger Claw's challenge and.... LM: Hold that thought, Becky! Look at this, would you? [Tiger Claw climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for "Nifty" Ned to get to his feet. Tiger Claw then launches himself, spinning in midair and planting a kick squarely across Norton's face. "Nifty" Ned's head snaps back as he drops to the mat. Tiger Claw goes back to the top rope, looks at Brian Lau, and runs his hand across his neck in a slicing motion.] LM: Tiger Claw looks like he's going for the Golden Tiger Strike. No one in the IIWF has gotten up from this move yet. HM: His opponent is already beaten. This is needless on Tiger Claw's part. It is another sign of weakness. [As if he heard Matsuoko's comments, Tiger Claw looks directly at the announcer's table and points at the "Angel of the Sun" before launching himself again and driving his knee into "Nifty" Ned's head. Tiger Claw places his hand on Norton's chest as the referee counts: 1 - 2 - 3 . . . Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by pinfall, Tiger Claw! BL: [sarcastically] Oh wow, what a shock that was. Welcome to the IIWF "Nifty Ned." [Despite a big heel pop, Tiger Claw allows Brian Lau to raise his hand in victory and he flashes an evil smile at the crowd. On his way up the aisle, Tiger Claw stops and points back at Matsuoko, running his hand across his throat again. He then turns and walks to the dressing room.] LM: You don't have to be fluent in any language to recognize the message in that gesture. Tiger Claw wants you, Hakiro! BL: Yeah, so when are you going to accept his challenge? HM: It is in our destinies to meet. And meet we shall, at Ring Wars - in a cage. [With that, Matsuoko leaves the announcer's table and heads back to the dressing room to prepare for his match.] LM: Well, Becky, I hope you can manage without me for a few moments, because I'm going up to the ring to get comments from Casey James. BL: Great. Don't forget to write. SPECIAL INTERVIEW: Casey "Whitebread" James ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: At this time, ladies and gentlemen, I want to introduce to you a man who'll be in action later on tonight facing Fisto Flash. He is the American hero, Casey "Whitebread" James! [Casey makes his way to the ring to be interviewed, giving fans the high five on the way down the aisle... He stops near a fan holding the American flag and points to it, mouthing "That's what it's all about." Another fan holds up a "U.S.A. is A.O.K." sign, and Casey asks the fan for it. He walks to the ring, holding up the sign while stamping his foot, starting a U.S.A. chant... The face pop is quite loud] LM: Casey, Casey... Looks like you've got quite the fan base! CJ: I love it! I just want everyone here to know that every time I step into the ring, I give one hundred and ten percent, and it's ALL for the fans right here! [More cheering] LM: Now, you've got a matchup with Fisto Flash later on... CJ: Yes, that's right... This Fisto Flash is a man that embodies cheating. His hand itself is a foreign object... Now I have no problem with prostheses, but an iron fist is ridiculous. He was told to keep padding on the thing, and in his match against Robski on Saturday, he went against that ruling... The Man of Steel and I made sure that came to light... I'm no fan of Robski, but Fisto cheated... It doesn't matter who he cheated against, it just matters that he cheated. Now I get to face Fisto... You know that I'll be keeping an eye on him. LM: What about your upcoming tag team encounter at IIWF Ring Wars. You and the Man Of Steel will be facing the unlikely partnership of Robski and Fisto Flash. CJ: You know, I don't understand how Robski and Fisto got teamed together... I have the feeling that it won't be Man of Steel and I that will be beating them... I think they'll defeat themselves... LM: And on Saturday, you have a chance to take the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship from the Outlaw! [Big pop] CJ: Yep... The Outlaw... Is he still a Horseman? Has he parted with them? Who knows... All I know is that there's some retribution still due for some of his actions... But that's in the background right now... I'm concentrating on Fisto... I mean, I can't fight Outlaw if Fisto cracks my skull with that club he calls a hand... Fisto... I'm going to make sure justice is served! [Casey walks about the ring working the crowd as Larry Morton rejoins Becky LaRue at the announcers' table... "Yankee Doodle Dandy" plays over the loudspeakers... After a while, Casey makes his way back to the locker room area.] LM: There you have it, Becky - the law and order in the IIWF: Casey James! BL: Flaw and boredom, more like, Larry. I thought he'd never shut up. If Fisto gives him a knuckle sandwich a little later on, that should stop ol' Cornbread talking. He'll be too busy trying to find his teeth. Prince of Darkness vs. Brad "Bodybag" Kinder ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Talk about a match where literally _anything_ can happen, this one has to qualify. You've got this creepy Prince of Darkness character and Dr. Faustus against the always-dangerous "Bodybag" Kinder and his Horseman comrades. BL: Kinder has wrestled well of late, but he's had trouble getting the victories. You've got to say one thing about him, though, he's not afraid to take on the big boys. Deathbringer last week and now the Prince of Darkness tonight. LM: Yes, I don't mind telling you that this Prince of Darkness scares me, Becky. They say he has actually been to the pits of hell and stared Lucifer in the face! BL: Yeah, but has he ever had to sit through an evening next to you? Now _that's_ hell, Larry. [Prince of Darkness enters the Coliseum first, accompanied as always by Dr. Faustus, who carries a bodybag with him. The fans boo loudly, but Prince of Darkness does not acknowledge them -- either not hearing the boos or not caring. He does stop momentarily as one young fan holds up a Deathbringer poster. His scowl scares the fan, who quickly rolls up the poster.] LM: I wonder how much this guy would charge to haunt a house? BL: Hourly or day-rate? LM: I bet it's not the first time you've said that! [AC/DC's "Back in Black" roars through the coliseum to a mixture of boos and cheers. As "Bodybag" Kinder steps from the portal, accompanied by Flare and Blackjack Haley, several fans nearby hold up four fingers and smile. Flare rewards them with a "Whoooooooo!" Haley sneers at the fans who want to touch him.] BL: It looks like the Horsemen are in the house! LM: Well, not entirely. I notice that the Outlaw still isn't making any ringside appearances with his colleagues. Even though the Outlaw said on "Saturday Night" that he is still a Horseman, I've got to believe that there are big problems in the Horseman camp. BL: You don't have anything to back that up, Larry. I happen to know that Miss Victoria Secret is .... uh, meeting, yeah, that's it, _meeting_ with the Outlaw tonight to smooth things out. When Ring Wars rolls around on June 29th, the Horsemen will be ready to party once more! You wanna mention that cable operator thing again, Larry? LM: That's IIWF Ring Wars, the greatest pay-per-view in professional wrestling history! Already announced is the IIWF World Title match between Outlaw and the Subway Psycho -- and you can bet that those three men in the ring known as the Horsemen will play a large role in that match! BL: There you go starting rumors again. [As Bodybag and Prince of Darkness lock up in the middle of the ring, Flare saunters over to Dr. Faustus and admires his Armani suit. Running his fingers up and down the lapel, Flare looks at the crowd and goes "Whoooooo!" An echo of "Whooooo" is heard from the crowd. Bodybag takes early control of the match with a series of uppercuts and forearm blows. He floors Prince of Darkness with a boot to the face and follows up with a series of leg drops. Flare calls Haley over and points at Bodybag's legdrops. Haley nods.] LM: It looks like Flare is using Bodybag's moves as instruction for Haley. Blackjack said he wants to learn from one of the best. BL: Yeah, but I wasn't available. [Bodybag goes to the top rope and attempts an elbow drop, but Prince of Darkness rolls out of the way. The man from the darkside then takes control of the match with a power bodyslam and a power bomb. Flare and Haley pound on the ring apron to root Bodybag on. Dr. Faustus nods his approval to the Prince of Darkness. Following a chokeslam, the Prince of Darkness covers: 1 - 2 - kick out!] LM: That was close! BL: Oh, it was not. Bodybag was just getting a breather. He's a savvy ring veteran. You can't beat him that easily -- well, _you_ couldn't beat him at all. [Prince of Darkness follows up with a Tombstone piledriver and a superplex, and goes for another cover: 1 - 2 - kick out. He hits another running power slam and covers: 1 - 2 - Flare lifts Bodybag's leg onto the ropes and the referee stops the count. Flare turns to Haley and points to his head.] BL: See? Flare is telling Haley that's how to use your head. Haley is going to be dangerous when he gets the full Horseman training from Flare. [Bodybag staggers to his feet and rakes the eyes of the Prince of Darkness. He whips POD into the ropes and hits a high backdrop. He follows with a gut-wrench power bomb and a DDT, the whips the POD hard into the turnbuckle.] BL: See Larry, Bodybag has turned this match around. It looks like the Prince of Darkness is just about out. LM: There's no denying that both of these men are great competitors. Either one could . . . hey, what's going on? [Flare gets up on the ring apron and distracts the referee. Haley drags the Prince of Darkness from the ring and begins pounding on him. He runs the POD's head into the ring post. Bodybag leaps from the ring and slaps Haley across the face. Haley looks dumbfounded.] LM: What the hell is going on here? BL: I think Bodybag has just informed Mr. Haley that one only interferes in a match when one's colleague needs the assistance. Brad had this one firmly under control. [Flare gets off the apron and pushes Dr. Faustus, who is attempting to argue with the referee about what has happened behind his back. Kinder rolls the Prince of Darkness back into the ring, and climbs to the top rope. He drops an elbow on PoD, and goes for the cover. The referee has by now turned back to the ring, and makes the count: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: Brad "Bodybag" Kinder. [Heel pop. Kinder immediately rolls from the ring and begins arguing with his stablemates. Flare plays peacemaker, and leads Haley and Kinder back to the locker-room, amidst a big heel pop.] LM: It really does seem that not all in the Horsemen garden is rosy, Becky! BL: Nonsense. Just a small lack of communication. Not a problem. Flare will have it sorted out in no time. [In the aftermath of the Horseman dispute, Dr. Faustus helps Prince of Darkness from the ring. There are actually some cheers from the crowd. Again, he does not acknowledge them.] Casey James vs. Fisto Flash ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger" begins to play and the crowd immediately begins booing the arrival of Fisto Flash. Accompanied by Robo Stone, he strolls down the aisle with his metal fist raised.] LM: Here's a wrestler who has been at the center of quite a bit of controversy of late. Fisto Flash has been told to wear a protective covering over that metal fist of his, but as we saw on IIWF "Saturday Night," he doesn't believe that IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury make a prudent decision. BL: Well I'd have to agree with Fisto Flash on that. Look at the other wrestlers in the IIWF who have "secret weapons." There's Deathbringer's little disappearing act, Man of Steel's massive ego, and Dan Kauffman's.... LM: His what? Dan Kauffman's what? BL: Well... I wasn't gonna say anything, but he's got terrible breath! LM: Oh, would you please.... [Big pop as "Yankee Doodle Dandy" blares from the PA system. Casey James steps through the portal waving an American flag and the Man of Steel follows, offering a crisp salute to the banner. The two shake hands with fans all the way down the aisle. As Casey enters the ring, the bell chimes to signal the start of the match.] LM: Now there is a patriotic duo! I can't wait to see what happens when one of these men gets his hands on the likes of Robski. It was disgusting last week when Robski used the American flag to wipe up dog mess in the ring. What an insult! BL: It's insulting to think Robski feeds his dog burritos? LM: It's insulting to think that he thinks he can get away with demeaning truth, justice, and the American way. You can bet these two gentlemen won't stand for it. I'll bet we'll see some repercussions at Ring Wars, coming your way on June 29, fans. Call your local cable operator today and tell them you want this exciting IIWF pay-per-view event! BL: Wow, Larry, just like a commercial. What the heck is going on in the ring? [The referee is arguing vehemently with Robo Stone and Fisto Flash about the protective pad. Fisto Flash tosses the pad from the ring and shoves the referee away. Casey James and Man of Steel, seeing this, rush to the corner and begin battling Fisto Flash and Robo Stone. Fisto Flash backhands Man of Steel, knocking him from the ring. Robo Stone and Fisto Flash begin double-teaming Casey James and beat him in the corner. They whip James into the ropes and hit a double-clothesline. Robo Stone jerks James off the mat and holds his arms behind his back as Fisto Flash holds his gleaming metal fist in the air.] LM: Oh no, he's going to use that metal fist anyway. This fiend just doesn't care about the IIWF rulebook. He's out to hurt people. BL: Yeah, isn't it great? [The referee, having recovered, calls for the ring bell disqualifying Fisto Flash. As it rings, he sees what is going on and grabs Fisto Flash's arm before he can hit James. However, Fisto Flash bashes the referee with his other hand and winds up again to hit James. As he unleashes his blow, Man of Steel dives in front of James and takes the metal fist across his face, hitting the mat unconscious.] LM: Did you see that? Man of Steel just took the blow intended for Casey James. That was so.... so.... BL: I think "stupid" is the word you're looking for, Larry. [Fisto Flash, stunned by the turn of events, does not notice James recover and break Robo Stone's hold. James elbows Robo Stone and whips him into Fisto Flash as both men tumble through the ropes. Big pop.] LM: Casey James has cleaned house, but it looks like the damage has been done here. James gets the win by disqualification, but this match never really got started. Fisto Flash not only ignored the IIWF mandate that he wear the protective covering, but he also struck another referee. Can you say "fine", Becky? BL: Yeah, I thought it was a fine thing to do. I'm glad we finally agree on something, Larry. [Fisto Flash and Robo Stone leave the ringside area, shouting at James all the way up the aisle. James finally revives Man of Steel and helps his groggy companion back to the dressing room.] Moondust vs. Venusian Death Cell ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Now here is an individual that is making fewer friends each week, Becky. BL: I have to admit that his guest commentator work last week is a memory I'd just as soon forget. LM: He just added Dan Kauffman to a list that already includes "Whitebread" James and, of course, Billy Shakespeare. BL: My sources say that "Spotlight" Billy has requested and will receive a special audience with IIWF Dictator Daniel Speradbury to discuss Moondust's constant interference. LM: Dictator!? I'll have you know that this week PRESIDENT Daniel Spreadbury is going through a gruelling performance review by the IIWF Board of Governors. As he's been doing an outstanding job he should have nothing to fear. BL: If he's fired can I get his office? Mine's too small. LM: I don't think...wait a moment, you have an office? BL: Why look, here comes Moondust... [To the Sounds of "Hallo Spaceboy" Moondust sashays down the aisle. A small group of boys in the first balcony hold a large banner reading "Moons for Moondust" They turn and unbuckle their pants. Camera quickly cuts away.] BL: I think I recognize the one in the middle... [Delighted, Moondust blushes and claps his hands for them. Security quickly intervenes.] LM: The IIWF is becoming more and more like a circus every week. What's next, wrestling clowns? BL: Casey James and Man of Steel are already here, remember? [Moondust climbs into the ring, perching on a ringpost and displaying himself provocatively.] BL: Moondust welcomed space boys, and here he is, the original space-case... [Venusian Death Cell creeps cautiously to the ring, his eyes darting every direction. Josey Wales walks in behind him, muttering reassuring comments that only slightly appear to be working. VDC climbs into the ring, his eyes locking on Moondust. Still poised on the post, Moondust runs hands over his himself, the Death Cell does not waver. Moondust begins to look very concerned and exits outside.] LM: It looks like Moondust's mind games aren't working on the Cell... BL: That's because he has no mind to game with. [The Referee warns Moondust that he must get back into the ring, very cautiously he enters. The timekeeper starts the bout, and at the sound of the bell, VDC launches himself at the pink wrestler. Moondust quickly ducks outside. Death Cell follows. Moondust slides back into the ring, but the Death Cell grabs his ankle. 'Dust kicks with he free foot, and catchs Cell in the face. Both reenter the ring.] BL: Y'know Larry, this match reminds me a little of the two of us. LM: I know I'm not going to like this, but how so? BL: Beauty and the beast! [The two wrestlers finally lock up, and VDC gets sent against the turnbuckle. Moondust quickly leaps on, delivering fists to the head. The crowd counts 3...4...5...6! VDC gains leverage under the arms and tosses Moondust backwards, flipping him over the post and onto the floor. Death Cell quickly slides to the floor as Moondust drapes himself over the stairs. Moondust blows a kiss which makes Death Cell furious enough to charge. Moondust rolls out of the way and VDC slams against the steel steps. There is a sympathy groan from the crowd.] LM: Moondust doesn't seem very willing to lock up with this man. But the Death Cell can't wait to grab Moondust..! BL: That makes him the only wrestler who's so inclined. [With both back in the ring, Moondust begins a series of evasive counter moves to the Death Cells attacks. Finally VDC clothelines Moondust sending him down. 'Dust trips up VDC, and applies a toe hold. VDC rakes the eyes then sets up and powerbombs Moondust. VDC gloats long enough for Moondust to escape the ring again. Referee starts the countout, as Moondust heads back up the aisle. There is a loud crowd pop as Venusian Death Cell gives chase. Mondust spins sharply and delivers a chop to the neck which stuns VDC. Moondust slides back in the ring to break the count. He _vogues_ for the benefit of the crowd, and there is a chorus of wolf whistles. VDC climbs into the ring but is arm whipped into the opposing ropes, Moondust delivers a flying spinning leg lariet which staggers, but does not drop VDC. Moondust tries again with the Irish whip but Death Cell reverses and he catches Moondust up by the throat. Huge pop.] LM: Moondust is over six feet tall, but Death Cell is holding him so high his feet can barely touch the ground. BL: The name may have changed, but the anger hasn't. LM: What is that supposed to mean? BL: Just look. [There is a pop as Blackjack Haley strides down the ring, finger pointed at Death Cell, and yelling comments that can't be heard above the roar of the crowd. VDC drags Moondust to the corner nearest Haley. Moondust can't do much besides dance on tip-toes. Haley stares for a moment before leaping to the apron. Death Cell swings with he free hand, but misses. Haley delivers a solid forearm to Death Cell who drops Moondust. Moondust quickly skitters out of the ring, as VDC lunges at Haley. The bell rings for the DQ. Haley jumps down and exits laughing. Much of his old bloodlust returning, VDC jumps the ropes only to be restrained by Josey Wales. VDC drags him through the archway.] LM: And it looks like Venusian Death Cell is going to win this one based upon outside interference. Let's get the official word... RA: Here is your winner, as the result of a disqualification: the Venusian Death Cell! [Mixed crowd pop.] LM: Now it's time for the match I've really been waiting for... Joe Latta takes on Deathbringer. This promises to be a top-drawer encounter. What do you think, Becky? BL: I think you do a poor job at hyping up matches, Larry. Joe Latta vs. Deathbringer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Joe Latta walks confidently down the aisle, Alanis Morissette from the speakers and Carla Daughtery at his side pointing and clapping. A large sign reading simply "JOE" is held before the camera. Latta cracks a slight smile and climbs to the apron, helping Carla up next to him. She holds the ropes open and he enters and stands center ring, arms triumphantly above his head. The crowd chants: Joe...Joe...Joe... He tosses his sunglasses to the crowd.] BL: Three weeks we've been doing Mayhem, three times we've seen this Mr. Coffee. LM: And what a difference we've seen: From an overexuberant man-boy to this. He's out there tonight without Kauffman, and he looks like he doesn't need him. He's obviously focused to fight tonight. BL: Well I'm tired of talking about him. You're on your own tonight, I'm out of here. [There is a squelch as Becky tosses her headphones on the table.] LM: At least I don't have to listen to her jabs towards Ms. Daughtery. BL: [Momentarily donning the headphones] Oh, and I can't stand that bit of fluff he travels with either. [Removes headphones.] LM: Well, um, yeah. Don't worry folks, she'll be back. I think. [The Coliseum goes black, "The Reaper" begins to play at full volume. A loud pop as the light rise to Deathbringer in a stare down with Latta. The crowd stays quiet as the two continue to face off.] LM: Um, folks, it doesn't look like either of these two wants to make the first move. [Deathbringer begins by grabbing Latta who quickly hooks with a mexican armdrag which flips Deathbringer. Latta catches him with second armdrag. Deathbringer launches from against the ropes with a shoulderbreaker. Deathbringer drops a knee on Latta's elbow.] LM: Maybe Latta needs Kauffman after all. Deathbringer is showing him some moves he didn't seem to be expecting. [Deathbringer tries another knee drop, but Latta quickly rolls away. 'Bringer hits the canvas and clutches his leg. Latta gets 'Bringer into an abdomenal stretch. Latta readjusts the stretch, but Deathbringer shows no pain. Referee queries for the submission, 'Bringer denies. Deathbringer inches towards the ropes, Latta sees that he'll reach them and turns the stretch into a snap suplex. He tries a cover but Deathbringer throws him off.] LM: Too early for that. Latta is good, but he's not going to put him away with that flip move. BL: [Returning] I bet you mis-called that suplex, didn't you Larry. LM: Um...no. BL: Admit it, you can't live without me. [Suddenly there is a buzz in the crowd as Brian Lau appears at the head of the aisle. He watches the match intently, and occasionally takes notes.] LM: Now what on earth would Lau want out here? BL: He probably wants my autograph. LM: Yeah, sure. [Latta throws 'Bringer against the ropes but Deathbringer grabs the rope. Latta rushes in and catches a high knee which staggers him. Deathbringer heaves the smaller man into a gorilla press, spins him twice, and drops him to the mat. Latta doesn't move. Deathbringer drops a leg then pulls Latta to his feet. Latta hip tosses 'Bringer into the turnbuckle. Once, twice, he slams Deathbringer's head into the post. Latta tries a roll-up, but goes too far and has to roll out. Deathbringer sits up. Crowd pops. Latta delivers a kneeling clothesline that puts the man from the darkside down.] LM: Where did you disappear to? BL: If I tell you, I can't hide there again. LM: And what are you chewing on? BL: I let my fan club buy me some bubble gum. LM: You _do_ know that there was a wrestling match going on? BL: Unlike yourself, I _do_ recognize wrestling when I see it. [She pops her gum in punctuation.] LM: I recognize that this Joe Latta will be a belt contender very soon. BL: Um, yeah. Hey, look at the size of this bubble I'm blowing. [Latta climbs the ropes and launches an elbow. Deathbringer raises a leg which rocks Latta.] BL: That was the one mistake that Latta forgot he wasn't allowed to make. [Deathbringer lifts Latta onto his shoulder then slowly climbs to the top rope.] BL: It's time for the burial! [Deathbringer sets up for the piledriver.] BL: Dearly beloved, we are here to bury Mr. Coffee, not to praise him. [Deathbringer leaps from the rope, but lands on his feet. Latta receives only a slight bump on the head. Deathbringer releases him to fall to the canvas. Lau shakes his head and disappears back into the locker room area.] LM: Amazing! He could have put Latta away, but he didn't. Is the Deathbringer growing soft? BL: Not quite. [Deathbringer grabs Latta by the throat and delivers a vicious chokeslam. Latta hangs in the air a moment before hitting the canvas. Deathbringer places his hands on each shoulder. 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: Deathbringer! BL: Yeah, yeah. [imitating Larry Morgan] "I recognize that this Joe Latta will be a belt contender soon." LM: I'm going to see if I can get some explanation from Deathbringer about his sudden showing of compassion... BL: While Larry is running to the ring, I'd like to take this moment to say that Larry is wearing the ugliest tie I have ever seen. LM: [At ringside] I can still hear you even though I'm not at the table Becky. BL: Ooops. Tee-hee. [Larry stands with Deathbringer outside the ring.] LM: Deathbringer - why didn't you apply the Burial? DB: Latta is an upcoming athlete. He does not know how to control his feelings. He just is too young to understand what this world is all about. His time has not come yet and I do not see any cause of injuring him so badly that his career could come to an end. LM: So you aren't upset anymore about his interference at the Texas Death Match you had with Kauffman? DB: Not at all. As I said he is young. And he makes mistakes. So I shall forgive him. Just like the Coroner said it quite a while ago, I am not the wild beast you believe me to be. And maybe I do not know the word MERCY, but I do know the word JUSTICE. And I do not think it would be fair to punish this young fellow for experiencing his wild years. So Latta, may you live in peace, but do never offend me again... Our next encounter will, one way or another, be your burial... [Latta has been listening to Deathbringer's words, and now erupts in rage, and vaults the ropes. He lands on Deathbringer with a splash and they both go down. Latta tries to lift Deathbringer for a powerbomb but backs into Larry Morton and looses his hold.] LM: Oh...Ouch...No...Wait!..I'm not...Careful!..Oof! [Larry gets knocked down] [Deathbringer seizes Latta and slams his head against the guard rail. Latta bounces. 'Bringer whips him against the steel stpes. 'Bringer throws him against the steps again. There is a huge pop from the crowd and Dan Kauffman, dressed in street clothes, runs in. He defends Latta with a barrage of forearms and uppercuts. He whips Deathbringer against the ring apron. The lights go out, and when they return moments later, the dark man is gone.] BL: So ends Larry "Monster" Morton's wrestling career. LM: He caught me by suprise. [Kauffman steps into the ring and beckons for the ring announcer's microphone. The crowd cheer as he speaks:] DK: Deathbringer. Congratulations. You've completed one half of your mission, as I already knew you would. In the long run, that will help Joe more than hurt him. But 'Bringer, Joe is not a part of this anymore. You want to plant me six feet under and teach me a lesson. You have your chance at Ring Wars, in a Deathmatch that you wanted. You can teach me your lesson... I'm willing to learn now. So Deathbringer, bring all that you have, and I'll bring all that I have... and we'll meet in just over one week. Come prepared... [Kauffman drops the microphone, and leaves the ring once more. He and Carla support Latta back up the aisle and into the locker room area, amid the cheers of the capacity crowd.] LM: That Deathmatch is surely going to be one of the greatest matches of all time, Becky. [Becky blows a very large bubble which she pops with her overly manicured fingernails.] LM: Nice to see that enthusiasm... ----------------------------------------- IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ----------------------------------------- "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs Robski ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: We haven't seen much of the IC Champion. BL: That's because the other wrestlers are afraid of Tiger Claw. LM: Tiger Claw? BL: Everyone knows both Claw and Kinder want the title, and no one wants to fight either of those two next. ["Keep Right on 'til the End of the Road" begins to play.] LM: This man has got to be one of the most disagreeable wrestlers in any fed today. BL: It pains me to say it, but Larry, you're right. [Robski enters to a chorus of booing. He stands in the aisle, his hands raised in a double obscene gesture.] LM: Can he do that on television? BL: Honey, I don't think he cares. [Robski enters the ring, fingers still raised. He scratches his crotch and spits at the crowd. The Kodo drums begin and there is a pop for "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko. He enters, bedecked in ceremonial robes and an elaborate painted mask. The Angel walks deliberatly up the steps and into the ring. In blackout, a cascade of sparks fall from the coliseum rafters, and forked tongues of flame erupt from the corner posts. There is a momentary awed silence, then the crowd explodes with cheers. Hakiro ritualistically removes his robes, as Robski mockingly parodies his actions in the opposite corner. Matsuoko bows to Robski, Robski lifts a knee, Matsuoko evades, and quickly sweeps the other leg before applying a leg lock.] LM: I think Hakiro Matsuoko has seen that bit of lowdown attempted before. BL: Proving that Robski is stupid as well as fat and ugly. What a sad way to go through life, no wonder he's bitter. [Hakiro releases the hold and readies for the attack. Robski begins with an attempted clothesline which Hakiro uses to throw Robski to the ropes. Hakiro drop kicks, but it has no affect on the big man. Robski counters with a double chop to the neck, then a foreward slam. 1..2..Robski pulls Hakiro up by the hair.] BL: We almost had a new champion. LM: [distastefully] Robski hasn't inflicted enough pain for his taste. BL: Little guys just shouldn't get in the ring with the big guys. [Robski slams Hakiro to the corner. He peels him off and throws him to the ropes. Hakiro rebounds into a sleeper hold.] BL: Like I was saying... LM: No..wait! Robski's huge hands and forearms are just too big, he can't get a firm hold on the small, agile man. [Robski gives up on the hold, Hakiro slips out, jumps up on a rope and drops Robski with a side saulto. The crowd pops. Robski rolls over and Hakiro backflips, landing both knees into Robski's chest. Crowd pops again.] LM: This man is as exciting as they come. This crowd is as loud as I've ever heard them. BL: I think they were a little louder when those guys dropped pants for Moondust. At least, I know _I_ was louder. [Hakiro climbs the ring ropes, he springs at the prone Robski, only to catch a knee in the chin. Robski stands, raising his hands in victory. He kicks Hakiro and the Referee warns him. Robski spits at the Ref and raises a fist in his direction. Crowd boos, and an object is thrown which doesn't make it as far as the ring. Hakiro somersaults to a standing position. Robski goes with an armdrag, Hakiro returns with a jumping reverse elbow. Robski grabs a handfull of hair and throws Hakiro to the mat. Robski attempts a falling double ax handle but Hakiro rolls. There is a thud and another crowd pop as the footballer misses. Hakiro drags Robski to his feet, but is thrown to the ropes. Hakiro reverses and catches Robski with a flying scissor kick which send the englishman down again. Hakiro backs across the ring, handspring, and a flyingg lateral press for the pin. Count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, and STILL IIWF Intercontinental Champion: the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko! LM: Hakiro keeps the title! BL: I honestly _did_not_ believe that would happen. LM: Anything can happen in the IIWF. BL: That isn't original with you, is it? LM: What is Fisto Flash doing here? [Fisto Flash shoulders his way past the exiting Hakiro. The two stare down for a moment before Hakiro leaves. Flash makes his way to the apron. He shouts at Robski, who returns the insult.] LM: I can't understand what they're saying. BL: It's your fault for having such a limited vocabulary. [Robski stands and demands Fisto Flash enter the ring. Flash hold up his metel hand in defiance, but turns and heads away from the ring. Robski vaults the ropes and blindsides Flash from behind. Fisto Flash gets up only in time to be thrown backstage by Robski.] LM: The action isn't over in the Coliseum, but that's all we can bring you tonight. Maybe we'll be able to get exclusive footage later... BL: [She is wearing a 'Becky LaRue Fan Club' t-shirt] How do I look? LM: Where did you get that? BL: From my fans...oh, I'm sorry...I forgot that's something you know nothing about. LM: Why do I continue to work with you? BL: That's what I've been asking: Leave now. LM: I think it's time we do. Goodnight everyone, and if you haven't ordered our June 29th PPV - there's still time - call your cable operator and say "I want IIWF Ring Wars!" BL: Give it up Larry, we don't work on commission. LM: [distastefully] Is this bubble gum on my chair? [Becky smiles sweetly at Morton.] LM: This is Larry Morton for Becky LaRue, saying: don't forget to tune in next Wednesday for another dose of Midweek Mayhem! So long! [Cut to wide shot of the packed arena. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+