##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Report - 21 June 1996 ----------------------------------------------- Hi there everybody, and welcome to another IIWF Control Centre update! I'm Tim Dross, and what a packed show I've got for you today, featuring: - results from this past Wednesday's Midweek Mayhem, as well as comments from the participants - all the usual trash talk - a look ahead to this Saturday's card, and an examination of one of the key matches in the Dross Report - some more exciting details about IIWF Ring Wars, which is now only just over one week away! - and a special interview with the runaway train, the Subway Psycho! So let's get straight to it, running down the action from this Wednesday night: IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 19th June 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was another great night in the Coliseum. Larry Morton and Becky LaRue hosted a fantastic show which the bursting at the seams crowd really enjoyed. Let's summarise the results, and get comments from some of the participants: - TIGER CLAW demolished "NIFTY" NED NORTON Let's get comments from the windba... I mean, erudite Brian Lau: [SCENE: Kenny Tanaka and Brian Lau sitting on a bench near the ring in The Dojo] Kenny Tanaka: Hello, folks... This is Kenny Tanaka, official interviewer of Brian Lau, coming to you from the Dojo... Brian, Let's hear your comments about Wednesday night... Brian: Well, did you see Tiger Claw crush that "Nifty" guy? That had to hurt. I told everyone that Tiger Claw was more dangerous now than ever, and it appears that Ned Norton was an unfortunate example. The way I see it, Ned Norton hadn't heard of the reputation of Tiger Claw, and leaped at the chance to prove himself in the IIWF... I assure you it was no trouble for him to get a match with Tiger Claw, since it seems that everyone else is afraid to fight the Thai Boxing master. Anyone following the happenings in the IIWF will notice that Tiger Claw is not scheduled for action in the next few weeks. Some may misunderstand this as laziness on the part of Tiger Claw. Nothing could be further from the truth. Tiger Claw is having trouble getting competition in the IIWF because everyone is ducking him. It appears that Tiger Claw's next match will be at Ring Wars for the IC title. That's no problem because Tiger Claw will win that belt, and then people will have to fight him if they want to get anywhere... Kenny: Speaking about the IC title, what about Hakiro Matsuoko's comments on Wednesday? Brian: He seemed to have a mouthful of trash on Wednesday, didn't he? Calling Tiger Claw a coward... Matsuoko, it hasn't been Tiger Claw that's been running away... Tiger Claw has been after you from day one, and he hasn't backed down for a minute. Why should Tiger Claw be afraid of you? He's dominated you in every match you've met him in. You'll learn your lesson at Ring Wars when Tiger Claw causes you to lose a bit of weight... That belt you wear should suffice... Kenny: Now, many people are wondering what you were doing during the Joe Latta/Deathbringer match... Brian: It's simple... I was scouting talent. It's part of my job as a manager. I have to check out people with a lot of potential. Being a manager is not just about signing contracts and getting hotel rooms for the talent. It's also about being able to recognize new talent with potential for major advancement. Let me make it public. Joe Latta, I'm interested in you... Yes, I know, I've usually kept to managing Oriental talent before, but I think you can be an exception. You have the same flame that I see in Tiger Claw. It is just out of control. I know this is what Dan Kauffman has been telling you, and he does have a point. However, he wishes to completely douse that flame, whereas I wish to cultivate it and make it work for you, and not against you... This flame is your weapon. Like any weapon, you have to learn how to wield it. If you don't you end up losing control of it, and leave an opening for your opponent. Let Tiger Claw and I teach you how to control that flame. Please consider my offer seriously. Kenny: Didn't you offer the same thing to Hakiro Matsuoko? Brian: Yes, and you'll probably see me make the offer many other times in the IIWF. Like I said, it's my job. Matsuoko made the mistake of turning us down. He will pay for that mistake with his title. Hopefully, Joe Latta won't be so reckless. Kenny: Well, there you have it. A promise, and an offer. And it was brought to you by Kenny Tanaka. Remember that. For Brian Lau, this is Kenny Tanaka saying so long! [Fade] Tanaka just doesn't do that "so long" bit as well as me, does he? - BRAD "BODYBAG" KINDER defeated the PRINCE OF DARKNESS But what a tainted victory it was. The Horsemen were their usual despicable selves, and the interference of Jack Haley was what took this match for Kinder. Brad didn't seem to welcome the helping hand, however, and a big argument between him, Haley and Flare broke out after the match. There's certainly some tension in the Horsemen camp. - CASEY JAMES defeated FISTO FLASH by disqualification. Fisto Flash struck the Man Of Steel with that illegal iron fist of his before this match had even properly got underway. Fisto has been heavily fined, and the front office have warned him that any more similar actions will result in suspension. However, Fisto being the guy he is, he's not showing any concern at all: [SCENE: The Stone Mansion] Robo Stone: Well, well, well. How did the IRON FIST feel in yo' mouth, Man of Crud?! Fisto Flash: Casey James, you speak of justice. You speak of cheating. How can you stand up for America when you cheated by having Man of Straw along double teaming me? Don't worry. I understand. You were afraid. Robo Stone: HA! HA! HA! FEAR!! That's what EVERY man possesses when he gets into the ring with Fisto Flash. You heroes have given Fisto Flash another number in the loss column, which brings down his chances of gettin' a title shot. THAT WAS A COSTLY MISTAKE. HA! HA! HA! Fisto Flash: I will take care of the hero sandwiches... all in due time. But, Robski. You have been a thorn in my paw for as long as I can remember in the IIWF. You have ABSOLUTELY no idea who yo' dealin' with. Robo Stone: That's right, Robski! Next time you get in our way, YOU'RE GOIN DOWN! Fisto Flash: I don't care about the odds. I'm sick of James, Steel, and Robski. ONE DAY.....ONE DAY. I will meet you all. AND THEN, I WILL FINISH YOU! [Fade] I expressed my concern right from the start that Fisto and Robski wouldn't be able to work together. Let's hope that they can patch things up before their match at Ring Wars next Saturday. Speaking of patching things up, let's go to comments from the Man Of Steel: [SCENE: Man of Steel is sat in the center of his training ring and Bibbo's gym when Tim Dross comes in. MOS has a lump on the side of his head] TD: Mind if I catch a few words, Steel? MOS: Sure thing, Tim. What do you want to know? TD: Firstly, what do you have to say after waht happend at Midweek Mayhem this week? MOS: Well I have to say that I am unterly disgusted with the actions of Fisto Flash. Not only has he disobeyed a direct order from the IIWF President by not wearing padding over his fist, he also continues to use it. Come Ring Wars, Mr Flash will need to be taught a lesson by me and Casey! TD: He has been the center of attention recently. Moving on though, what plans do you have in the run in to Ring Wars? MOS: Like I have always said, I want to see justice done here in the IIWF. Robski, I am disgusted with the way that you treat the great American Nation. Have you no respect? And what of your girlfriend Jasmine? How can you treat such a nice lady with such disrespect?! Robski you need to be taught a lesson!!! TD: Sounds to me Steel that you want to get your hands on the Englishmen prior to Ring Wars. MOS: That's right. Robski this gos out to you. Meet me in the ring this Wednesday. You say you are here to gain respect, then earn that respect. TD: Thanks for your time, Steel. Maybe we'll be seeing you in the ring this Wednesday. MOS: That's fine Tim. Glad I could help. [Fade as Tim leaves] If Robski accepts, we'll see that match next week on Midweek Mayhem! - VENUSIAN DEATH CELL defeated MOONDUST when Blackjack Haley interfered It seems Mr. Haley was set upon making a big impression on Wednesday night, and he succeeded, taking a cheap shot at the Cell. We sent Steve Roberts backstage after the match to get comments from the VDC: [SCENE: The Venusian Death Cell is sitting in his dressing room alone after his match with Moondust. Steve Roberts walks in with an IIWF cameraman:] SR: Cell, can I call you Cell? [The VDC just stares at him. Roberts pauses then carries on] Tonight you had your first match under the guidance of Josey Wales. You won, only due to outside interference by Blackjack Haley.... VDC: Roberts, I had that... 'man' beaten from the moment we locked up. He likes to play mind games...well, there's no-one better at that than me. Look into these eyes, Roberts. [Roberts moves towards VDC's head. VDC stares at him and he moves back] Haley, you don't scare me, but I know I scare you. At Ring Wars, we'll meet in the ring once more, but it won't be one on one, I'll have the Crippler by my side. SR: Yeah, how come you two have got together? VDC: Roberts, keep your nose out of this. The Crippler and me have got an agreement and we'll win the Russian Chain match, that's all you need to know. SR [realising he won't get anywhere]: Fine, that's just fine. What about this re-match with Matsuoko Josey Wales promised us? VDC: Wales told me his ideas - I listened and I liked what he said. Getting the belt can wait. Haley's the problem at the moment and once we've dealt with him at Ring Wars, I'll take the belt off Masuoko, Tiger Claw, Robski or whoever owns it, believe me! SR: Yeah, sure. Tiger Claw doesn't worry you then? He's making quite a name for himself at the moment. VDC: Roberts, don't you understand? Nobody scares me. You ask Claw. He may say I'm a psycho, but deep down he fears me. Get him in the ring, you'll see the same look you saw on Moondust's face tonight. I know I can inflict more pain on _him_, or anybody else for that matter, more than he can on me. If you don't believe me, get in the ring with me and I'll prove it to you. SR: Well, Cell, thanks for your time. I've got to get going now....going to a wedding. [Fade] - DEATHBRINGER defeated JOE LATTA by pinfall after a chokeslam This had to be one of the most remarkable matches I've ever seen - the advantage swung back and forth in this one like a yo-yo, but eventually it was Deathbringer who got Latta in position for the Burial, and instead of driving Latta's head into the canvas, he simply released the hapless Joe, finishing him off with a chokeslam instead! Larry Morton interviewed 'Bringer after the match, but he was jumped by a furious Joe Latta. Things looked bleak for Latta until Kauffman came out to save his friend - at which point the dark destroyer simply disappeared. We got comments from Joe yesterday as he reflected upon the nature of his confrontation with the 'Bringer: [SCENE: In the blue of the Potomac River, Joe Latta and Carla Daughtery paddle down the easy current with little effort. Joe appears relatively calm, while Carla looks stunning in the summer light. Latta speaks to a camera, which is looking at Joe from the front of the boat...] Joe: Deathbringer, you were just about what I expected... a tough, yet not impossible mission. You won the battle this time, and I'll just have to live with that. If we do cross paths again, do not be so sure that it will be my shoulders on the mat for the three-count. Carla: Hey, what about this Horseman? He looks kind of handsome... nowhere near _your_ looks, but not bad... Joe: You must be referring to the Bodybag. Brad Kinder, enjoy your pretty face, beautiful women, and horsemen company for now... I may ruin your face, take your women... [Carla shoots Joe a nasty look, and Joe smiles at her]... and we all know the uneasiness of the Horsemen, don't we? It's a pity that you have to be the one to put my career back on track... Too bad for you! Carla: What about this Brian Lau character... Now HE was U-G-L-Y! Joe: [Gives a small laugh] Don't worry about him... He was just out getting a closer look at my match, just like everyone else wants to! Lau, I have no idea what your intentions are, but I'm an easy man to face. So if you want to have some words with me, come on! Carla: Don't you just love the scenery out here? Joe [Cradles Carla] That's not the only thing I love... [Fade] I can just imagine my broadcast colleague Steve Roberts vomiting as I speak, but seriously it's good to see Latta start to get things in perspective. Maybe when he next steps into the ring, he'll be a different man. We'll find out at Ring Wars! As for Deathbringer, he's looking forward to meeting Kauffman: [SCENE: Somewhere in the moors. Deathbringer appears beside an old oak] Deathbringer: "I think I will never understand you mortals... Kauffman, what was your business at ringside last Wednesday? You did not interfere into my match, granted. But then you came out and "defended" Latta who had jumped me from behind... But, Kauffman, be honest to yourself, WHAT did you defend him against? Against me? Did you really think I wanted to destroy that kid? Think about it... If I really wanted to bury him right there, I could very well have done it in the match. Now I do not want to know your real motives, but believe me, Kauffman, as far as Latta is concerned, we are standing on the same side... We just have different ways of teaching... But Latta is no longer the topic we have to talk about... What we have to talk about is OUR match at Ring Wars and it is going to be a DEATHMATCH... [Deathbringer steps behind the tree and disappears. Fade. As the screen comes back, Deathbringer is seen on his cemetary] A Deathmatch. Whatever you call our little differences, call them a friendly dispute, call them an intense feud, they will be settled on June 29th. The match will be about personal feelings, about fear... and about respect. In that match there will be no interferences, there is no way in and there is no way out. It comes down to the two of us. There will be a decisive winner... but there will be no real loser. Both of us will learn and advance in our ways... And for the fraction of a second we will become one entity... In that moment, Kauffman, you will truly understand me and I will truly understand you... [Deathbringer walks between the graves and heads toward the mortuary. Just before the door he stops] You say I shall come prepared. And this is only a phrase, for you know I am always prepared. And I guess you will be prepared as well. So let the games begin... For now, however, I have to concentrate on someone who is the personified evil in the IIWF... the Prince Of Darkness... [Deathbringer pauses and enters the mortuary] Prince of Darkness, you say you have sold your soul to the devil. Now that is bad luck for you, because I know Lucifer and he will not be too pleased if you are not able to pay the prize after your life is over... You will not only lose the match, but you will lose your soul. I will take it to the dark side where I will keep it for eternity. Prince Of Darkness, you will learn what the darkness really looks like, you will obey the reaper and you will kneel down before the power of death himself. Nightmare haunt you already, and there are demons dancing in your head. Reach out for help and I will cut the deal, fight against me and you will be damned forever... Prince Of Darkness, prepare to meet your maker... [Fade] - HAKIRO MATSUOKO defeated ROBSKI to retain his IIWF Intercontinental Championship Trash Talk ~~~~~~~~~~ We've been lucky enough to be granted an audience by "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, who is now ready to regale us with his words of wisdom: [SCENE: Billy Shakespeare center stage. A spotlight, appropriatly, falls upon him. Stage smoke curls around his feet.] Billy: William Shakespeare found it necessary to include long monologues to explain events, Billy Shakespeare will take this moment to do the same. However, I won't use Elizabethan English, and I'll talk slowly so even "Soundbite" Steve Roberts can understand. Dan Kauffman, "You have wrestled well, and overthrown more than your enemies." That's from 'As You Like It'. You managed to keep your personal demons away from the ring, I apologize that I could not do the same. Sad that our bout had to end that way. I acknowledge your win, but I do not concede you victory over me. However, I'll admit I had no idea how I was going to get out of your leg-lock. Which leads me to the fairie trickster himself, Moondust. Yes, lo this past week I met with President Spreadbury. He said: "Billy, I've had enough of wrestlers hiding under rings, interferring nymphs, and our top wrestlers visiting the optometrist with powder in their eyes." I replied that I'm tired of watching my standings drop because of undeserved losses. I've lost to a "Who's Who" of "Who's Not" in the IIWF: Tony Starks, and "Showstopper" LeBec. And Dan Kauffamn, a fine and honourable man, had his career threatened with pixie dust. The cause of all this? Moondust. What's to be done? The President's pronouncement was swift, the answer obvious: One of us has to go. Yes, Moondust, a "Loser Leaves the IIWF Match." Moondust, get ready to take your final Curtain Call. [Fade] This has to be the biggest risk of Billy's career - Moonie's had the better of him in all their encounters to date... this promises to be a great match, folks, and you'd better not miss it at Ring Wars. The Alphabet Boys, similarly, are preparing for their Ring Wars match against the United Nations: [SCENE: A somewhat familiar Daycare Center. Small, terrified children clutch blankets and hide behind stuffed animals. Mrs. Rogers tries her best to sooth the children. Abie and Zed, the Alphabet Boys, stand at a table. It is obvious that they have been in the fingerpaints by the colored smears on their fingers, masks and tights.] Abie: Are we gonna wrestle again Zed? Zed: Two guys think they can beat on us. Abie: Rising Sun, we're gonna hurt you. Zed: No, no, not yet. It's some other guys. Abie: Some Other Guys? Are they a new team? Zed: You think you're all great because you do research United Nations? Well we came here to show that we can do research too. That right Abie? Abie: Yeah! Zed: And you think you can beat us 'cause read this book? (He holds up a copy of 'Pokey Little Puppy') Well, we read this book too. (Abie grabs the book. He gets no further than the pictures on the first page.) Small Terrified Child: M...m...m...m...Mrs Rogers? Those men ate all the after nap punch and cookies. Mrs. Rogers: Hush dear, if we're very still maybe they won't notice us and they'll go away. Abie: Hey, Zed, you know what I just thought of? We'll teach U.N. their A.B.C's at the PPV! Zed: Hey that's good, did you think of that by yourself? Abie: I kinda got the idea from that stack of blocks over there. Zed: Oh yeah, and one more thing, United Nations said that we could bring our toys. Abie: Our toys? [He begins to chuckle gleefully] Zed: Yeah, U.N. If there is one thing that The Alphabet Boys know, it's how to play with toys. [He also begins to chuckle gleefully, Abie steals the book] [Fade] Now let's get comments from the Intercontinental Champion, the Angel of the Sun: [SCENE: Hakiro stands proudly with the IC title around his waist. It gleams as brightly as the intensity that radiates from his body.] HM: Tiger Claw, very soon all questions between us will be settled. There is supposedly a question as to whether or not I am a worthy champion. That question was on everyone's lips so much so that I even questioned it myself. I have had many doubts over the past weeks; it almost outnumbers the number of students that I have had learn from me. I am also a student myself. I went back to Japan last week to find the answers to the questions that puzzled me so. I spoke to my master. I found I had never lost myself, only the confidence I had in myself. Look how I won the title, I beat almost every major contender in the IIWF, including you. I have defeated Robski, the Venusian Death Cell and I have faced you. Soon I have Moondust, and yourself again in a cage. There is no longer any doubt in my mind, nor should there ever have been, that I am a worthy champion. Soon Tiger Claw, you will have no doubts either. I have heard my name mentioned by Bodybag Brad Kinder, if you would like to face me sign a contract, that goes for anyone: I am ready. The Angel of the Sun will still burn bright for a long time to come in the IIWF. [Fade] And Hakiro will be in action next Wednesday before his huge encounter with Tiger Claw at Ring Wars, but more on that later. Finally, let's find out why Robski has been a little quiet this week: [SCENE: A car pulls up outside Wembley police station in London; it is a Bentley, registration MAX 1, and in it are Max Clifford, Robski's girlfriend Jasmine, and Max's chauffeur. The car stops, the driver goes round to Max Clifford's door, and opens it. Clifford gets out and the driver salutes him Meanwhile Robski is sitting in a cell, wearing a blood-stained England football shirt, jeans and trainers, he has various cuts and bruises around his arms and face. Clifford goes up to the desk sergeant] Max Clifford: Hi, I got a phone call, I understand you are holding Robski. Sergeant: Yes, we were waiting for you, he's been here two days and we were not prepared to release him until we found someone prepared to put up the bail for him. He claimed to be a Duke's son, but when we rang his grace he claimed he didn't know him. Max Clifford: Well he is the Duke's son, but I think his grace was a little embarrassed. Sergeant: Yes, two days in the cells after fighting with Dutch football fans is a little embarrassing, I suppose. [In the meantime an officer has gone and fetched Rosbki from his cell. He arrives at the main desk, and looks at Clifford] Robski: Hi Max Clifford: Look at the state of you. Robski: I got in a bit of bother, those bloody Dutch were asking for it. Max Clifford: I sold the story to the Sun, got a lot of money too. Robski: Well it's all been worth it then! Max Clifford: Oh yes! Thank you, sergeant, we'll be off. Sergeant: Robski has to report back in two weeks time when we will inform him if we wish to proceed against him. Max Clifford: Fine. [They leave the station, they get outside] Robski: So has it all been worth it? Max Clifford: We got plenty of publicity and over $100,000 [a camera snaps]... and that's the guy from the Sun to take the pictures! [laughs] [They get into the car and drive off. Fade] What a disgusting hooligan Robski is. IIWF Saturday Night - 22 June 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Coming at you once more this Saturday night live from the IIWF Coliseum, we'll be seeing another great card of IIWF action. Let's run it down and hear from some of the combatants. Don Antonio will be in action, having recovered from his injuries at the hands of Blackjack Haley a couple of weeks ago, and has the following comments for us: [SCENE: Don Antonio stands in the IIWF interview area.] Don Antonio: All right, my return to the IIWF is coming off without a hitch. After constant interference in my matches, I have decided to petition the front offices to allow three members of my family to accompany me ringside. My cousins Sal, Vinny, and Guido will be with me if all goes well - and watch out IIWF. Without cheap interference no one will be able to stop the DON! Interfere and you will pay the price. [Fade] We'll also see the Crippler and the High Plains Drifters in action, plus the following headliners: Deathbringer vs. Prince Of Darkness This match promises to be an explosive encounter. Apparently these two supposed kindred spirits don't get on at all - take PoD's comments, for example: [SCENE: PoD stands in a darkened room. He is barely visible through the shadows, as he speaks:] In a world of tormented souls, the two most sinister of them all shall face in the squared circle. Deathbringer... you don't know darkness yet. The parallel you walk is on a much more joyous plain than the hole that fate has assigned to me. You want to talk death?? I AM DEATH!!! I am the fear that you had when you were a child and the lights were out! I am the fear that you had when your parents were ill and on death's door. I WILL BE THE FEAR THAT YOU'LL FEEL ON SATURDAY NIGHT!! I don't fear anyone.......espically you. Dead men don't have fear.......... neither do crazy men. Prepare..........the "Boogie Man" will get you............ you heard it here first!!! [Fade] I'm sure Deathbringer will have something to say about that - he's only one week away from the match of his career against Dan "Flash" Kauffman. It's going to be an awesome battle, folks. IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Steamroller vs. United Nations Can the United Nations possibly make it third time lucky on Saturday night and defeat the tag champs, Steamroller? It could mean a big shift in the balance of power of the tag team ranks here in the IIWF, so all eyes will be on the ring for this one! Subway Psycho vs. Blackjack Haley The Subway Psycho continues his gruelling run-up to IIWF Ring Wars with a match against the newest Horseman, Blackjack Haley. This one promises to be a knock-down, drawn-out affair - and, just maybe, with Flare's guidance, Haley could be the one to take a little wind out of the Psyhco's sails going into his vital world title match at Ring Wars. IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Outlaw vs. Casey "Whitebread" James The Outlaw demanded this match, and he got it. Casey jumped at the chance to face the IIWF Champion, and teach the Horsemen a lesson to boot! Let's hear from the American hero: [SCENE: Casey James stands in the IIWF interview area. He speaks:] Hello, folks, I'm Casey James... As you know, I'm going to be going up against the Outlaw this Saturday... This is a great opportunity for me. It gives me the chance to do what I've always wanted to do, and that's represent the IIWF as the World Champion. But before I get all teary eyed, I have to really concentrate on winning that belt. It's not going to be easy, and we know the Outlaw is not beyond cheating. So what do I do? Well, I'm going to ask my friend the Man of Steel to watch my back during this match, because you never know if the Horsemen will get involved or not. Man of Steel is right now recuperating from the shot that Fisto Flash gave him. Which brings me to another topic: Our match at Ring Wars. Man of Steel and I are going to be facing two of the dirtiest players in the league. Fisto, a man whose very body represents a foreign object, and Robski, a man that dares to soil the flag of the country I love. These two guys don't really like each other from the way I see it, and I don't think it'll be us that beats them. It's going to be an interesting match indeed. Needless to say, Fisto will pay for his actions, as will Robski. Nobody tries to pull this stuff around me and gets away with it. But first, I have to concentrate on beating the Outlaw. I promise you, I'll be doing my best, and I hope that the Outlaw will do the same. I just hope it's a match between the two of us, and not some other people who want to get involved. I'll see you Saturday Night, folks... Take Care. [Fade] And I think we know just who those "other people" are - but the Horsemen have still been absent from the ring in the Outlaw's matches. Let's get some new comments from the champ: [SCENE: Backstage at IIWF Midweek Mayhem in the interview area. The Outlaw stands alone with the IIWF World Championship belt over his shoulder and a few thoughts on his mind:] People have been asking me a lot of questions about the Horsemen lately -- questions I'd prefer not to answer right now. You see, in just over a week I'm going to step into the ring with the Subway Psycho, one ornery hombre who has certainly lived up to his name lately. Yeah, he's been runnin' around acting loco, but I can get down and dirty with the best of them. Psycho, your time is coming, little man, and it's coming at Ring Wars. Now Casey James, you're a different matter indeed. You say you've found some part of me that you can respect? Well let's get in the ring and find out if that respect is mutual. The bottom line is that alignments and colleagues are of no use unless you can carry yourself in the ring. So I asked the IIWF to give you a title shot Saturday night, James. Just you and me to see where we stand. I've told the Horsemen to stay out of my matches and I expect you to do the same with Man of Steel. This match may be as important to me as it is to you. [Fade out] So all in all, this promises to be another stunning Saturday Night! Don't miss it! SPECIAL INTERVIEW: The Subway Psycho ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Earlier today, I met with the Subway Psycho. He declined the opportunity to come on the air live tonight, so I travelled deep into the bowels of the IIWF HQ to a deserted office to meet him. Let's go to the pre-recorded interview: [SCENE: Tim Dross in an office in the IIWF headquarters. The lights are turned down to barely a flicker.] TD: Hello there! I would like to apologize for the lighting here in the room. Don't worry, we've paid our electric bill! I received a message from a man known as Mench to be here and have the lights as low as possible. I really don't know...what the... [A shadowy figure appears out of nowhere behind Dross] TD: Its the Subway Psycho, I should have known. SP: Sorry for all the theatrics, Tim. But you know me, and my little quirks. I'm more comfortable this way. TD: All right, lets get down to business. Who is this messenger, this vagrant called Mench? SP: He's just that, a messanger. He lives in the underground. I am sort of a protecter over him and his kind. They know I am always lurking in the shadows, watching over them, protecting them. So when I need someone to handle business above ground, he's more than willing to help. TD: Most of those duties were at one time handled by Sasha, right? SP: Next question. TD: Uh, hmm... Okay, you've been on a roll as of late. First Tiger Claw, then Deathbringer; what about your next opponent, Blackjack Haley? SP: Let me say that Claw and Deathbringer have been two of the toughest opponents I have ever faced. That's a real testament to the quality of IIWF overall. As for Haley, this guy's got to have a couple of screws loose. I don't think he's getting enough air way up there. He's the biggest man in the sport right now, but he turns his back on his friends and his fans and runs with the Horsemen. It's only a matter of time before they turn on him as well. You can't trust people like that. TD: Is that based on your relationship with the Outlaw? SP: I'll get to Roy Rogers in a minute. I got this the other day [Pulls out a letter, messy writing indicates it was penned by a child]. This is from a child named Tommy Collins. In it he writes: "Dear Psycho, I used to be a big fan of the Green Giant Jack Haley. I went to see him wrestle and I brought a sign and everything. When I showed it to him he yelled at me and ripped it up. I cried and cried and my mother told me that all wreslters were like that. Is this true?" Now that breaks my heart. This a**hole has ruined the image of everyone in this sport for children all over the world. Now Tommy, you keep rooting for your heroes, people like Flash Kauffman, Man of Steel, Casey James, and Hakiro Matsuoko. As for Haley, I'll personally make sure he's sorry for what he did to you. TD: I couldn't agree with you more. Now what about your chance to be IIWF World Heavyweight Champion at the upcoming PPV spectacular Ring Wars? SP: Let me say this. I have been making steady process towards Ring Wars. At every stop I grow stronger. The Outlaw knows all too well what will happen to him. This is about more than the belt. Outlaw says I have to earn his respect? Well, I'm gonna earn it by taking his belt and digging his grave! The train of consequences that he set in motion is gonna run all over him! [The shadowy figure disappears...] TD: But... boy, I hate it when he does that. [Fade] So there you go, folks. The Psycho is focussed on his future matches - and it's going to take something big to stop him. Is Blackjack Haley big enough to be that something? We'll find out on Saturday Night! IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 26 June 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's take a quick look ahead to the line-up for next Wednesday's card, the final stop on the road to Ring Wars! - Man Of Steel vs. Robski - The Returners vs. High Velocity - INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Moondust vs. Hakiro Matsuoko - Rising Sun Revolution vs. Stunt Team USA - Dan "Flash" Kauffman vs. Flare Plus we'll have an interview with the IIWF Champion, the Outlaw, and some news on the condition of Tony Starks, who is scheduled to make his big return to the IIWF at Ring Wars. All in all, it promises to be another great show. More on this card in Tuesday's report. _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ IIWF Ring Wars -- 29 June 1996 ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Now it's time to look in a little more detail at the full card for the IIWF's second pay-per-view spectacular. We're now only a little over one week away, folks, and I really can't wait to see all the great action we've got lined up next Saturday night! The Returners vs. Stunt Team USA The "Royalty of the Street" Sabin Figaro and his partner Locke Cole face a tough challenge in the form of Ron Fire and Steve Forget, otherwise known as Stunt Team USA. If it's high-flying, high-impact tag team action you're after, this match promises to deliver! Prince Of Darkness vs. Don Antonio The Don is enjoying something of a resurgence in his fortunes in the IIWF at the moment - will good fortune be enough to carry him past the sinister Prince of Darkness? Tony Starks vs. Simon Lebec It's been several weeks since we last saw Tony Starks, and he's said to be recovering well from the nasty knee injury he suffered at the hands of the Outlaw. Apparently, he's been using his convalescence as a chance to reflect upon his attitude, and it's possible that we're going to see a different Starks when he steps into the ring against Lebec next Saturday night. Let's hope the "Showstopper" is ready for him. United Nations vs. Alphabet Boys The United Nations have got to be the unluckiest team in the IIWF; they've been narrowly cheated out of capturing the tag championships twice. However, there is a chance that if the Nations defeat Steamroller this weekend, this could become a tag title match next Saturday night! The question has to be: will the Alphabet Boys be able to tell the difference? Casey "Whitebread" James & Man Of Steel vs. Robski & Fisto Flash Ever since Robski and Fisto Flash arrived in the IIWF, they've been at each others' throats. It seems increasingly unlikely that they'll be able to settle their differences in time for Ring Wars next week, in which case, this match could degenerate into a total brawl. Nonetheless, Casey and MOS promise to eke out justice on these two malodorous offenders. Joe Latta vs. Brad "Bodybag" Kinder Joe Latta will step into the ring at Ring Wars for the first time since his defeat at the hands of Deathbringer - will the experience have changed his volatile nature? Something in me tells me that it won't have done, and Latta's going to need all the focus he can muster if he's going to get past the Horsemen's Intercontinental champion-elect. For Kinder, on the other hand, this match represents a fine opportunity to catapult himself into contention. You can bet he's going to make the best of that shot. High Plains Drifters vs. High Velocity This match promises to put an end to one of the most vicious and bitter feuds we've seen in the IIWF - Pale and Easy Rider have even emerged as almost fan favourites in this knock-down, drawn-out battle. Even the managers, the Senator and the "Outlaw" Josey Wales, have fought each other in the ring over the course of the last few weeks, and every time these two teams are in the building, there are always fireworks. And from the whispers that I keep hearing, it sounds like the Senator's got some big plans for this match... LOSER LEAVES IIWF MATCH: Moondust vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare It seems that there's not enough room in the IIWF for two of its most flamboyant performers - one of them's going to have to go. Since Moondust debuted as the mystery participant at Coronation Clash, he can't fail to turn heads - however, as his fascination with Billy Shakespeare became more powerful, it seemed that neither man was going to be satisfied with being second on the list. This match will settle their differences once and for all... but who's going to be bowing out of the IIWF? IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Steamroller vs. Rising Sun Revolution The Demon and the Dragon hold a clean win over the tag champs, Steamroller, and that's got to be on the minds of Taylor and Brassow as they prepare for this match. Will their wily manager, Dave Albanese, be able to give them the impetus - or the dirty tactics - that will save their titles? Or will Steamroller fall to the United Nations this weekend? We'll find out soon enough. RUSSIAN CHAIN MATCH: Flare & Blackjack Haley vs. The Crippler & Venusian Death Cell The rules of a Russian chain match are simple: Flare will be chained at the wrist to the Crippler, and Haley to the VDC. The match ends when one of the combatants manages to touch all four corners of the ring without interruption. Now, that might sound simple, but when there's four men in the ring at all times, things could get pretty messy, especially as those chains are nasty weapons. This was Flare's choice of speciality, and now he's going to have to get himself and Haley out alive. Rather them than me... IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Tiger Claw Four steel walls. No escape. This match must end in a pinfall or a submission, as the martial arts expert takes on the Thai boxing legend in one of the most eagerly anticipated matches on the Ring Wars card. It's hard to describe the intensity that these two bring to the ring - each has a warrior's heart, and neither one is going to want to walk away without the gold. DEATHMATCH: Deathbringer vs. Dan "Flash" Kauffman What has Dan Kauffman got himself into? I have only just been shown the rules for this match, and boy, they are way out there! I'll try and summarise the stipulations now: the match is scheduled for three falls, with no DQ, no countout, no time limit, and falls will count anywhere! There will be several referees on hand, in the eventuality that one gets caught in the cross-fire. Now this is where things get complicated: after a fall, the match is paused for one minute, during which time both wrestlers must reenter the ring. If there are any interferences in the match, the bout is paused immediately. Pinfalls scored directly after an interference do not count, and the wrestler who interjects himself is locked inside a cage for the duration of the match. The wrestler who was attacked by the interloper then has the right to execute one "free" manoeuvre on his opponent. If the opponent refuses to allow this, it counts as if he had been pinned twice. After that move has been executed, the match is paused for one minute. Basically, there _will_ be a winner - and anybody who bets against the Deathbringer in a match like this is a braver man than I am. Good luck, Kauffman - you'll need it! IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Outlaw vs. Subway Psycho There's a lot of bad blood between these two mean hombres - they've been friends in the past, but all that is behind them now... the only thing on these two guys' agenda is beating the other one into the dust. It's not just a matter of titles any more, it's a matter of pride and of respect. But come the end of the night, who will be leaving with the belt - and along with it, his pride intact? I can't call this one, folks - all I can say is that it promises to be one of the finest matches in IIWF history! So all in all, IIWF Ring Wars promises to be an unmissable night of wrestling entertainment. If you've not already ordered, call your local cable operator now, and demand to be switched on to the very best in sports entertainment! The Dross Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's get our breath back for a minute and discuss this Saturday's main event, which could dramatically alter the face of the IIWF Ring Wars card. Casey James will be facing the Outlaw for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship, and if "Whitebread" wins, it'll put a whole new spin on next week's supercard. Let's examine the tale of the tape: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ OUTLAW CASEY JAMES ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 6'10" Height 6'6" 353lbs Weight 320lbs Mat, brawler Styles Power, endurance 6/0/0 Record 1/1/3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ First of all, it seems clear that the Outlaw out-ranks Casey in practically every area. The Champion's record speaks for itself - he is not an easy man to beat, and Casey is often too preoccupied with justice to take advantage of every opportunity in the ring. The Outlaw, being a Horseman (of however shaky tenure), brings to the ring an innate desire for survival. He is a born opportunist - you don't survive on the prairies your whole life without taking every chance you get, and when you don't get the chances, well, you have to make them. This is very clear in his dominating ring style: one single mistake by an opponent can lead directly to the Cattle Buster, the vicious DDT from which nobody has yet kicked out. It's the epitome of the Outlaw's style - sudden, brutal, and inexorable. Casey, on the other hand, has two very important advantages going into this match - firstly, he has the support of the crowd, who are always behind this all-American hero, and secondly, he has the more tangible support of the Man Of Steel, his ally and tag team partner, who will, no doubt, be at ringside, to counter whatever presence the Horsemen have to back the Outlaw up. Because here lies the crunch: it has only been in recent weeks that the Outlaw has fought without the backup of his stablemates, and rumours persist that the Horsemen are on the brink of losing their cornerstone. Will the Horsemen, if they show up at all, be a help or a hindrance? All of the Outlaw's early wins depended on the presence of the Horsemen to a greater or lesser degree; in the past couple of weeks, he's shown us what kind of an athlete he is, even if his performances have verged on the extreme, in his hunger for victory, he's like a predator, and if you stumble for just one second, the Outlaw will close his jaws on you - whether the Horsemen are there, or not. Of course, things would also swing in Casey's favour if the Subway Psycho decides to interject himself in the matchup, although there is probably an equal danger of Fisto Flash or Robski intervening to attack James. With so much at stake, so close to IIWF Ring Wars, it's becoming very difficult to call any matches at all... but I'm going to go out on a limb here, folks, and go with the Outlaw. His record, and his recent performances, speak for themselves. Casey's going to have to wrestle the match of his life to defeat the IIWF Champion - and, you never know, I could be wrong. Let's hope that old glory gives Casey the inspiration to go out there and fight for the American way - and we know Casey will fight until he drops - but the odds are stacked against him. There's only one way to find out who's going to go into Ring Wars wearing the IIWF Championship belt, and that's to tune in live this Saturday Night! Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ In our next Report, I'll be bringing you all the news and latest developments concerning this Saturday's card, next Wednesday's Midweek Mayhem, and, of course, looking again at some of the stand-out matches from the pay-per-view spectacular to end them all, IIWF Ring Wars! It promises to be another great weekend here in the IIWF, and I'll be coming at you live tomorrow night with Steve Roberts at the Coliseum with another IIWF Saturday Night... until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+