From univ0322@sable.ox.ac.ukThu Jun 20 18:29:31 1996 Date: Thu, 20 Jun 1996 17:09:08 +0100 (BST) From: Daniel Subject: [IIWF Saturday Night] 22 June 1996 ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Saturday Night ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * IIWF Coliseum * June 22 1996 [Opening graphics lead into a wide shot of the jam-packed arena. Fireworks erupt in the rafters, and the camera pans down past rows of screaming fans. Cut to the announcers' table, in front of which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum! We're just one week away from the greatest spectacular in the history of wrestling, IIWF Ring Wars, and we're coming at you live and loud tonight with this jam-packed crowd. I'm Tim Dross, and this is "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: And, as usual, the pleasure is all yours. Dross, we've got some great action coming our way tonight. We'll see the Crippler in action; the High Plains Drifters and Don Antonio will also be with us. TD: Plus Deathbringer will be facing the Prince of Darkness. What an interesting match _that's_ going to be. And the Subway Psycho faces Blackjack Haley. SR: You can bet that Haley's going to have his orders here tonight: take out the Subway Stinker now so that he's got no chance of taking the Outlaw's title next week at Ring Wars. TD: I wouldn't bet against the Psycho, Steve. He's been on red-hot form in the past few weeks. It's going to take a hell of a bump to derail that runaway train. Plus Steamroller will face the United Nations in a battle for the IIWF Tag Team Championship. SR: And Steamroller are going to prove just why they're still the champs. You know, I would have thought that stupid Aussie manager would have worked out by now that they can't beat Taylor and Brassow. They've taken two Grade A butt-kickings since Coronation Clash to no avail. Well, we'll see the ultimate butt-kicking here tonight. TD: And in our main event, the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, the Outlaw, defends his title against Casey "Whitebread" James. SR: We're going to see that no-hope do-gooder get his real come-uppance here tonight, Dross, and there's nothing that his lackey partner, the Man In Tights, can do about it. It's going to be great! TD: Good to see your impartial judgement shining through as usual, Steve. Let's get down to the ring for our opening encounter. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] The Crippler vs. Gino Petrocini ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: What a contrast in styles we should see in this matchup. We know The Crippler comes at opponents with a punishing attack, but Gino Petrocini brings a high-flying offense into tonight's matchup. SR: Yeah, and if you'd just shut up we might actually see some wrestling. [The Italian national anthem begins to play and Petrocini comes out to a very meager face pop. He is slender but well-muscled, with dark curly hair. He wears red, white, and green tights and matching boots. As he reaches the ring, Petrocini climbs the ropes and does a backflip into the ring to the cheers of the crowd.] TD: This kid comes to the IIWF with great credentials, Steve. SR: And I'm supposed to take _your_ word for that? He looks like just another meatball to me. Let's see how he handles The Crippler. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is one fall with a 15-minute time limit. Introducing first, from Rome, Italy, Gino Petrocini. [another mild face pop] And his challenger, from parts unknown, The Crippler. [big heel pop] TD: Well, we've had the ring introductions, but The Crippler is nowhere to be seen. What's he . . . wait a minute! [As the referee and Petrocini look toward the ring entrance, The Crippler dashes from the other side and slides under the bottom rope. He hammers Petrocini across the back of the neck, body slams his young opponent, and follows with a series of stomps to the head as the referee calls for the opening bell.] TD: That wasn't very sportsmanlike of The Crippler, but I guess he's trying to play by Flare's own rules. SR: Well it's pretty obvious to me that this guy is no Flare. TD: Maybe not, but rumors continue to persist about a new stable to challenge the Horsemen. That could mean a war in the IIWF! And from what I understand, The Crippler may just be a part of that stable. SR: It must be one of those stables where they keep the rear ends of horses. TD: Would you please?! [The Crippler continues his assault on Petrocini, hitting a brainbuster. He drags his opponent around the perimeter of the ring, burning Petrocini's face on the top rope. He slams Petrocini's face into the turnbuckle five times and follows up with three backbreakers. As Petrocini writhes in pain, Crippler looks out at the crowd and mockingly goes, "Whooooo!"] TD: It's not hard to see how The Crippler got his name, Steve. He's mauling this young wrestler physically and playing mind games with Flare. SR: Well, I didn't expect much out of Gino Pepperoni. And as for a battle of the minds, The Crippler is unarmed against Flare. [A murmur fills the coliseum as fans crane their head toward the entry portal. A spotlight hits Flare as he steps out and stands near the entrance to the ring area. He does not acknowledge the fans who "Whoooo" or even those who boo him, but focuses his attention squarely on the ring. The Crippler, seeing Flare, begins to strut and brushes back some imaginary hair from his mask.] TD: The Crippler is mocking Flare to his face. This one could get ugly! SR: With you around, it could always be ugly, Dross. Who could blame Flare for taking a shot at this guy? [The Crippler has allowed Petrocini to get to his feet. The young wrestler plants a dropkick in The Crippler's back and the masked man hits the turnbuckle hard. It seems to only upset him, however. As Petrocini follows up, Crippler rakes his eyes and delivers several uppercuts. He whips Petrocini into the ropes and plants a boot in his face on the return. Crippler points at Flare again, drags Petrocini to the middle of the ring, and applies the figure-four leglock.] TD: Look at this! The Crippler is using Flare's patented move right in front of him! SR: I can guarantee you that it isn't close to being as good as Flare's figure four. The Crippler may think he's getting the best of this exchange, but Flare and the Horsemen will make him pay. [The referee checks with Petrocini, who tries in vain to make it to the ropes. He attempts to reverse the hold, but Crippler easily turns Petrocini back to the mat. Finally, the referee calls for the bell as Petrocini submits and Crippler takes his time releasing the hold. He looks out at Flare and invites him into the ring. Flare, however, makes a brushing motion with his hand toward Crippler and walks back to the dressing room.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by submission: The Crippler! TD: I don't know what impresses me more: The Crippler using the figure four or Flare walking away from this fight. SR: Flare is using his brains, Dross. He's just made the statement that _he_ will say when and that _he_ will say where The Crippler will pay. You said it best for a change, Dross, there's a war ahead in the IIWF...and I don't just mean Ring Wars. [The Crippler slowly leaves the ring dangling four fingers upside-down. The referee helps Petrocini from the ring.] The High Plains Drifters vs. Deja Vu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ["The Way We Were" begins to play over the public address system as Ben Dare and Don Thatt run through the smoke and wave to the crowd. The fans couldn't care less about Deja Vu, who wear yellow tights and have long blond hair.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team match is one fall with a 20-minute time limit. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 491 pounds, Ben Dare and Don Thatt . . . Deja Vu! [no pop]. And making their way to the ring, at a combined weight of 502 pounds, Pale Rider and Easy Rider, The High Plains Drifters! [A surprising pop for The Drifters as the theme from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" plays. Pale and Easy enter with Josey Wales at their side.] TD: It seems The Drifters' recent confrontations with High Velocity have earned them some fan support, Steve. SR: I can tell you that Pale and Easy don't care about fan support. They would, however, like to get another shot at High Velocity and you know that chance is coming their way. And Josey Wales is apparently fully recovered from that injury he sustained at the hands of the Senator's fireball in the recent manager's match at Midweek Mayhem. TD: That's right, fans. Let's remind you about IIWF Midweek Mayhem, coming your way every Wednesday with the top stars from the IIWF. Larry Morton and Becky LaRue bring you all that action. SR: Becky's in love with me, y'know. TD: Dream on, Steve. [The referee calls for the opening bell and Pale Rider opens the match against Ben Dare. The two lock up but Pale quickly puts Dare on the mat with an arm drag takedown. He hits a leg drop across Dare's arm and wrenches the arm behind Dare's back before driving his knee onto the limb. Pale drags Dare to his feet and whips him into the corner, following him with a splash. Dare drops quickly to the mat as Pale tags in Easy.] TD: Pale and Easy certainly look like they mean business tonight. SR: That's right, and looks are not deceiving in this case. I've been meaning to ask you, [he stares at Dross] did your hair look like that in the box when you bought it? TD: Real funny, Steve. [Dare tries desperately to make the tag to Don Thatt, so Easy helps him by shoving Dare to the corner. Thatt enters cautiously, then springs off the ropes and attempts a cross body block. Easy catches him and turns the move into a backbreaker. He follows with a piledriver and then bulldogs Thatt's face into the mat.] TD: This one has been all Drifters as they tune up for "Ring Wars" on June 29 -- the pay-per-view that has the professional wrestling world buzzing! SR: Oh, I thought it was these cheap headsets that were buzzing. TD: Look out! It looks like Easy is setting Thatt up for the Hang 'Em High Clothesline. This match could be over if the Drifters hit this. [Easy lifts Thatt onto his shoulders as Pale climbs to the top turnbuckle. Pale leaps and clotheslines Thatt from Easy's shoulder's and Thatt does a flip before hitting the mat. Pale runs over and drops Dare from the mat with a hard right hand to prevent the save. Easy makes the cover: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners by pinfall, Easy Rider and Pale Rider . . . the High Plains Drifters! [good pop] [Suddenly, High Velocity tear down the aisle and slide into the ring. Chaos ensues as High Velocity and the Drifters pound on each other. Finally, Pale Rider sends T. Rowe flying over the top rope and Easy Rider hoists J.R. Metro over his head and walks to the edge of the ring. Everyone at the timekeeper's table scatters just in time as Easy tosses Metro from the ring and he crashes through the table, sending debris flying all over the ringside area. Big pop! Pale and Easy exchange hi-fives in the middle of the ring to cheers from the crowd.] TD: We've got "Ring Wars" a week early here fans! J.R. Metro just went through a table from about 15 feet in the air. The Drifters have cleaned house! SR: We said the Drifters wanted High Velocity, but we didn't expect it until "Ring Wars." The question now is what kind of condition will J.R. Metro be in next week? [The Senator runs to the aid of his men and threatens the Drifters with a fireball should they continue the assault. Pale and Easy back their way up the aisle to the dressing room as The Senator and T. Rowe help Metro from ringside.] TD: Well fans, the ringside area is certainly a mess, but we're going to keep the action coming. What carnage! SR: I haven't seen such a mess since someone snuck a Playboy magazine into Moondust's locker. Don Antonio vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ["Nifty" Ned Norton is already in the ring by the time Tim Dross is ready to call the next match.] TD: Well, it seems "Nifty" Ned Norton has recovered sufficiently from his beating at the hands of Tiger Claw during Midweek Mayhem to return to action tonight against Don Antonio. [The theme from "The Godfather" plays and a determined-looking Don Antonio walks to the ring, accompanied by his cousins Sal, Guido and Vinny. He appears to be all business as he disrobes and tests the ropes.] TD: Antonio is getting back in form, as well. It's been just over two weeks since then "Green Giant" Jack Haley went berserk and sent Antonio to the hospital [file footage of the Midweek Mayhem match rolls] and you can be sure that the Don wants revenge against now "Blackjack" Haley and the Horsemen. SR: Yeah, but wanting revenge against someone as big as Haley and actually _getting_ revenge are two different things. Don't forget, it was Don Antonio who provoked Haley in that match. TD: True enough, but we'll see what happens. He's now bringing members of his family down to ringside, and you can bet they'll keep on top of any potential interference. [The referee calls for the bell and "Nifty" Ned quickly goes on the offensive, raining right hands on Don Antonio. A kick to the midsection quickly turns the tide however, and Don Antonio rocks "Nifty" Ned with a vicious kneelift. A short clothesline puts "Nifty" Ned on the mat, where Don Antonio tortures him with a camel clutch.] TD: A good series of moves right there by Don Antonio. We haven't seen much of the Don because of injuries, but he's showing us a lot right here. SR: You can't count anyone out in the IIWF, Dross -- except possibly Gino Pepperoni and those Deja Vu bums. And quite honestly, Ned hasn't looked exactly nifty of late. [Don Antonio finally breaks the camel clutch, but continues to work on "Nifty" Ned's back. He hits a suplex, a backbreaker and a powerbomb, then applies a Boston crab. "Nifty" Ned's screams can be heard in the nosebleed seats at the coliseum.] TD: The Don is really taking it to "Nifty" Ned here, Steve. SR: This must bring back painful memories of the way your ex-wife treated you, eh Dross? ["Nifty" Ned seems ready to submit, but Don Antonio, seemingly enjoying the pain he is inflicting, breaks the hold and goes back to work on his opponent. Dragging "Nifty" Ned to the top rope, he hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Following a Sammartino backbreaker, he again applies the Boston crab and "Nifty" Ned's screams can be heard in the parking lot.] TD: "Nifty" Ned Norton is beaten here but Don Antonio seems to be enjoying the punishment he's inflicting. SR: That's what makes him The Don. You don't get to be the head man by letting people up off the mat. This is a lesson for Norton and a message to the rest of the IIWF that Don Antonio is back. [The referee, assuming that one of "Nifty" Ned's screams is actually a submission, calls for the bell. As Don Antonio raises his arms in victory, he adds two quick kicks to "Nifty" Ned's ribcage.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner by submission, Don Antonio! [Don Antonio leaves the ring amidst a moderate heel pop. As he passes the camera, he mouths the words: "Horsemen, you're mine." He is patted on the back by his cousins, and sneers at the fans on his way back to the locker-room area.] Deathbringer vs. Prince of Darkness ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Now it's time to see Deathbringer in action. He was defeated last week by the Subway Psycho in one of the most exciting matches I can remember... SR: Yeah, you with your ten-second memory span. That match was a dud - the Stinker fluked a victory. TD: That's not how I recall that encounter. Nevertheless, on Wednesday night the Deathbringer turned his fortunes around with a victory over Joe Latta. SR: And if you ask me, 'Bringer made a mistake when he took pity on that useless rookie. Latta deserved to have his neck broken by the Burial. When he jumped 'Bringer after the match [footage of Midweek Mayhem rolls], and Dan Kauffman came to his rescue, "Flash" signed his death warrant. At Ring Wars, Deathbringer's going to bury anyone who gets in his way. TD: We'll see about that, Steve. Anyway, tonight Deathbringer will be meeting an individual with whom he has much in common - the sinister Prince Of Darkness. SR: Yeah, that's what you might think, Dross. But I hear the word in the locker-rooms is that Deathbringer and PoD don't get on at all. I think sparks are really going to fly in the ring tonight. TD: You could be right, Steve. Let's get down to the ring. [The timekeeper's bell rings. Prince of Darkness walks down the aisle accompanied by the immaculately-dressed Dr. Faustus. The crowd reaction is mixed - either way, PoD doesn't pay much attention.] TD: Of course, PoD was involved in action on Wednesday night, too. He was narrowly beaten by Brad Kinder in a real slobberknocker, which was marred by the interference of Blackjack Haley. Who knows, if Haley hadn't interfered, PoD could have been victorious. SR: No way, Dross. PoD might be a great athlete, but he's no Horseman. [Suddenly, the arena is plunged into darkness as the lights drop. The crowd fall silent. Mere seconds later, the lights come up, and Deathbringer is already in the ring pounding on PoD. Dr. Faustus is at ringside. The crowd begin to jeer.] TD: Wow! Looks like you were right! It seems Deathbringer is feeling pretty ruthless here tonight! SR: He's only one week away from his match with Kauffman at Ring Wars, Dross. He's working up to the Deathmatch! [Deathbringer pounds PoD and forces him into one corner. He applies the Death Claw on PoD, who grabs the ropes. The referee forces Deathbringer to break the hold. As Deathbringer moves backwards, PoD launches in with a shoulder barge to the midsection, and takes the upper hand. He picks up 'Bringer and slams him to the canvas. He drags him to his feet again and sets him up for the Tombstone piledriver. He stands in the centre of the ring clutching Deathbringer. The crowd pop.] TD: The Prince is going to use the Tombstone! That's one of Deathbringer's favourite moves! If he plants him, this will all be over! [Deathbringer uses his weight to over-balance backwards, effectively reversing the hold and setting up the PoD for the Tombstone. Big pop!] SR: There's no way Deathbringer was going to let the PoD put him away this early. PoD made a mistake, and now he's going to pay for it. [Deathbringer drives PoD's head into the canvas with a Tombstone. He covers him - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Pop! Deathbringer stands above the PoD and waits for him to get to his feet.] TD: Do you think Deathbringer was shocked by the PoD kicking out? SR: Don't be ridiculous, Dross. Having fifty thousand volts run through him wouldn't shock him. [PoD slowly gets to his feet, and is immediately forced to slug it out with the Deathbringer. As the two exchange blows in the ring, the crowd's attention is turned towards the top of the aisle. There is a big pop as the figure of Dan "Flash" Kauffman appears in the spotlight. Kauffman simply stands at the top of the aisle, watching the match.] SR: If that no-good idiot comes down and interferes in this match, I'll personally go and give him the beating of his life. TD: I suspect he's just out here to see what level the Deathbringer's game is currently on. [In the ring, PoD whips the Deathbringer into the ropes, and as the dark destroyer comes off the other side of the ring, he executes a chokeslam. Pop! PoD goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - Kick out! Deathbringer sits bolt upright and gets to his feet. He grabs PoD by the neck and immediately chokeslams him. Bigger pop! Deathbringer goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: What an exchange we're seeing here, Steve! Each man is using his highest-impact offence and neither is able to put the other away. [PoD slowly gets to his feet, and groggily leans against the ropes. Deathbringer charges him and clotheslines him over the ropes, his own momentum carrying him with him. Big pop. Deathbringer picks up PoD and attempts to whip him into the steel ring steps, but PoD reverses, and Deathbringer goes careering into the steps. PoD picks up the top half of the ring steps and throws them down with force onto Deathbringer. Big heel pop. Kauffman still stands and watches at the top of the aisle. Meanwhile, the referee is counting both men out - 7 - 8 - PoD drags Deathbringer to his feet and throws him against the steel crowd barriers - 9 - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: The referee has counted both wrestlers out of the ring. Therefore, this match is a double countout! [The crowd give no reaction to the result, since the battle is still going on outside the ring. Kauffman suddenly charges down the aisle and attacks PoD, hitting him from behind with a flying dropkick. PoD goes down, and Deathbringer gets to his feet.] SR: Now what kind of a stupid thing to do was that, Dross? Deathbringer doesn't need Kauffman's help! TD: I guess Dan just wants to make sure that when he and Deathbringer meet in the ring, they'll both be at full strength. [Deathbringer stomps on PoD, but his attention seems focussed on Kauffman. The two of them face off, Deathbringer dwarfing the much smaller Kauffman. Dan looks directly into the glowing red eyes of Deathbringer, says something that the cameras don't catch, and then turns on his heel, heading up the aisle. Deathbringer stands motionless beside the ring. As Kauffman is halfway up the aisle, the lights drop once more, and when they come up again a few seconds later, Kauffman is still in the aisle, and Deathbringer has vanished. Kauffman turns to look in the direction of the ring, shrugs his shoulders to the crowd, and turns back towards the locker rooms. Suddenly, the video wall is illuminated with the glowing red eyes of Deathbringer, and a rasping voice says a few words: "Kauffman... prepare for your burial." Kauffman again looks out into the crowd, who give him a huge ovation, and he heads back into the locker room area.] TD: Well, Steve, I'm not sure what we've just seen here tonight, but I'm sure we're going to see a monumental battle between these two next week at IIWF Ring Wars - Deathmatch rules! SR: Kauffman may not be afraid of Deathbringer, Dross, but he's certainly no match for him in the rings. He's a plucky little puke, but he's still only a puke, and Deathbringer's going to put him away. End of story. TD: There's only one way to find out, folks - and that's to call your local cable operator and order IIWF Ring Wars - it's just one week away! SR: Geez, enough already on the adverts, Dross. You're like a broken record! [Dr. Faustus revives the Prince of Darkness and helps him back to the locker room area.] --------------------------------- IIWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: --------------------------------- Steamroller vs. United Nations ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Our next matchup will hopefully settle an old score. The IIWF Tag Champs have been blighted by the United Nations since they won the belts at Coronation Clash, and Taylor and Brassow must now be focussing on their match against Rising Sun Revolution at Ring Wars. SR: Yeah, and tonight they're finally going to put Vorkian and Tora out of their misery. I hope they can shut that insufferable manager of theirs up, too. [The United Nations come out to a good face pop, led by their manager, Kangaroo Carlysle. They enter the ring and start warming up, Tora bouncing against the ropes.] TD: These guys look ready to me. Maybe they're going to pull off a huge upset here tonight and wrest the titles away from Steamroller. SR: Yeah, and maybe hell's gonna freeze over. [As Elvis Presley's "Steamroller" blares out over the PA, Dave Albanese leads Taylor and Brassow down the aisle. They receive a big heel pop. They enter the ring and give their belts to the referee, who holds them aloft. The crowd cheers, and after Albanese has left the ring, the bell chimes to signal the start of the match. Vorkian starts things off against Brassow. The two lock up in the middle of the ring, and Vorkian takes the upper hand with a couple of stiff European upper-cuts. He chops Brassow with reverse knife edges, and then scoops him up and slams him to the canvas. Pop. Vorkian tags in T3, who immediately leaps to the top rope and attempts to splash Brassow. However, Brassow rolls out of the way, and Tora hits the mat hard. Brassow tags in Taylor. Taylor stomps on T3, and applies an armbar. T3 flips out of the move, reversing it. Taylor twists around and floors T3 with a short clothesline. Heel pop. Taylor drags T3 to his feet and performs a German suplex on him! The referee begins the count - 1 - 2 - T3 kicks out!] TD: Wow! That was Taylor's patented German suplex... and Tora kicked out! SR: Tora was lucky. Taylor went to the well to early in the matchup. Mind you, he may have kicked out - but what kind of shape do you think he'll be in now? TD: You're right, Steve. He's down and he's not moving. [Taylor climbs the ropes, stands on the top buckle, and gloats at the crowd. He launches himself at Tora, and hits with an elbow smash. He goes for the cover again - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] SR: I don't know what's keeping that no-hoper Tora in this match, Dross. TD: It's called "heart", Steve. Something you wouldn't know much about. SR: Kind of like you not knowing much about real hair, huh? TD: Will you please stop?! [Taylor drags T3 to his feet and whips him into the ropes, flooring him with a flying dropkick. He picks him up as if for a sidewalk slam and walks over to his corner, tagging in Brassow, who climbs to the top rope and performs a leg drop from the top onto T3, forcing him to hit the mat with force. Big heel pop! Brassow goes for the cover - 1 - Vorkian storms the ring - 2 - Vorkian stomps Brassow, breaking the count. As the referee ushers Vorkian out of the ring, Taylor and Brassow viciously double-team T3, hitting him with a double clothesline, and a double backdrop. Taylor leaves the ring again, and Brassow drags T3 to his feet, whipping him into the ropes. Brassow puts his head down for a backdrop, but telegraphs the move, and T3 pulls off a spinning neckbreaker. Huge pop as both men lay flat out on the canvas.] TD: Tora's really got to make the tag now! He's far more spent than Brassow... [The referee begins the count - 1 - 2 - 3 - both men begin to stir. Brassow tags in Taylor, who charges across the ring, but is not quite able to reach Tora, who throws himself at his own corner, just tagging in Vorkian. The Frenchman hits the ring like a house on fire, throwing punches at both Taylor and Brassow. As he turns from the corner, he charges at Taylor, and nearly takes his head off with a lariat. Big pop as Vorkian goes to the top rope. He waits for Taylor to get to his feet, and then launches himself, hitting a double axe-handle. Taylor goes down once more. Vorkian bounces off the ropes, and splashes Taylor before going for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: Boy, that was close! Taylor only kicked out by the narrowest of margins there! SR: [ignoring Dross] Come on, Steamroller! [Vorkian drags Taylor to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He executes a fine Frankensteiner. Big pop as Vorkian again goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out! Suddenly, the crowd's attention is distracted by two figures coming down the aisle...] TD: It's the Alphabet Boys! We already know that they'll be facing the United Nations at IIWF Ring Wars - perhaps they've come down to check their opponents out. SR: I doubt it, Dross. They probably just got lost on their way to the toilet and ended up out here. [As Vorkian and Taylor continue to slug it out in the ring, the Alphabet Boys arrive at ringside and begin to pick a fight with Dave Albanese. Brassow leaps down off the apron and begins to remonstrate with Abie and Zed, getting in their faces. The referee leaves the ring to clear up the situation, while Vorkian applies the "Terminal Illness" sleeper hold on Taylor. He is apparently lifeless within seconds. The crowd go nuts and Tora gets down off the apron to try and get the referee back into the ring. Dave Albanese breaks away from the scuffle on the outside, and nails Vorkian in the head with his boot. An agonised look crosses Vorkian's face before he hits the canvas.] SR: Aha! The old Albanese secret weapon! TD: What would that be, Steve? SR: Steel toe caps! [Albanese rolls Taylor over Vorkian, and gets out of the ring. He leaves Tora, Carlysle, Brassow and the Alphabet Boys squabbling on the outside and pushes the referee back into the ring. The referee reluctantly makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here are your winners, and STILL IIWF World Tag Team Champions: Steamroller! TD: Are Steamroller actually capable of winning a match without that manager of theirs interfering?! SR: Look, Dross - a good team uses every means at their disposal to get the win. We've seen the best of the best here tonight - and I'm certainly not talking about that Japanese dud or that deranged Frenchman. [Tora and Carlysle realise that they've been duped again and enter the ring, beside themselves. Brassow drags Taylor from the ring, and supports him as Steamroller leave the ringside area. The Alphabet Boys, having lost interest in the brawl, turn their attentions to the crowd, and begin stealing peoples' signs, IIWF caps and other bits and pieces, putting them on their heads and slapping each other. Tora is enraged, and attacks Abie and Zed, ramming their heads together. The Alphabet Boys look at each other for a moment, and then headbutt each other again. Then they look at Tora, and press him above their heads, dropping him across the steel crowd barriers. Big heel pop!] TD: Now there was no call for that! Get some security out here, fast! SR: How can you be so blind, Dross?! Tora had that coming the moment he laid hands on the Alphabet Boys. You don't play with fire, or you're gonna get burned. [A swarm of officials and referees come down to ringside and remove the Alphabet Boys, and Kangaroo Carlysle is once more responsible for getting his decimated team back to the locker-room. Gradually, both Tora and Vorkian are able to get to their feet, and they are supported back up the aisle by Carlysle, to a big pop from the fans.] TD: You can bet there's going to be some retribution in a week's time. The Nations are going to make the Alphabet Boys pay. SR: Yeah, right. And your hair's real, too. TD: Will you just shut up about my hair, Steve?! SR: My, aren't we touchy tonight, Dross! Subway Psycho vs. Blackjack Haley ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Blackjack Haley comes out to the ring, accompanied by Flare, to a moderate heel pop. He laughs at the fans, and stops halfway down the aisle, points at one man in the audience, and says something to Flare. They both laugh long and hard before making their way into the ring.] TD: Now there's no need to make fun of the fans! SR: Are you kidding?! That was the ugliest guy I've ever seen. Apart from you, of course, Dross. [The lights in the arena drop, and there is a huge pop as the Subway Psycho appears in silhouette against the single headlight of a subway train on the video wall. He comes to the ring to the sounds of "Crazy Train", hi-fiving the fans as he goes.] TD: This man is just one week away from the most important match of his career! Next Saturday night, only on pay-per-view, he will do battle with the IIWF Champion, the Outlaw. SR: That's if he makes it past Haley tonight, Dross. This giant isn't a man to take lightly - and I think the Psycho's luck is running out. TD: The Psycho doesn't rely on luck - he relies on skill and superior athleticism. SR: That's not what Sasha said to me... TD: What would you know about her?! SR: Oh, nothing. [The Psycho enters the ring and stands facing Haley. Flare exits the ring, and the bell rings to signal the start of the match. Haley looks out of the ring to Flare, who nods, and Haley raises his arm for a test of strength. The Psycho looks around himself, unsure, and the crowd egg him on. He locks up with Haley, first one hand, and then the other, and Haley immediately has the upper hand. The Psycho is forced down onto one knee, but the crowd really start to pop, and the Psycho finds more strength inside himself, fighting to his feet. Just as he is overpowering Haley, the giant kicks him in the midsection, doubling the Psycho over, and hits him with a DDT. Huge heel pop!] TD: I'm shocked! Three weeks ago, Haley would never have done a thing like that... SR: And three weeks ago, he was still a big goofy loser. Flare's teaching him the tricks he needs to be a success here in the IIWF, Dross. [Haley looks over at Flare again, who "whoo"s at him. The pocket of Flare fans "whoo" in reply. Haley drops to his knees and begins choking the Psycho. The referee puts on the count, and Haley releases the hold on the count of three, only to choke the Psycho again and again. The crowd begin to jeer Haley very loudly.] TD: This is disgusting! The referee ought to disqualify Haley for his actions in there at the moment... SR: What do you mean, Dross? He's breaking the hold when he's told to, what more can you expect? [Haley eventually relinquishes his grip, and scoops up the Psycho for his towering bodyslam. The Psycho hits the canvas hard. Haley goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: That was close, Steve! SR: Haley's just getting warmed up, Dross. [Haley picks up the stunned Psycho, and whips him into the ropes. He hits him with a big boot to the head as he comes off the opposite side of the ring. Again the crowd give a big heel pop, and Haley opens his arms wide and laughs, apparently enjoying their reaction. He kicks the Psycho out of the ring, and then deliberately distracts the referee's attention. Flare picks up the Psycho, leans him up against the ringpost, and executes several reverse knife-edge chops on his chest.] TD: Yowch! You can hear those chops all the way around the arena! SR: I've known Flare to actually break the skin with those blows, Dross. Whoo! Go get 'em, Horsemen! [Flare checks to see that Haley is still keeping the referee occupied, and knocks one of the officials sitting at the timekeeper's table off his chair. He "whoo"s as he picks up the chair, and winds up to hit the Psycho, who is still leaning, exhausted against the ring post. Huge heel pop as Flare looks out into the crowd.] TD: You have got to be kidding me! [Flare swings wildly, but the Psycho drops to the floor, out of harm's way, and the chair hits the post with a huge clang. The referee is alerted to Flare's potential interference, and immediately slips out of the ring to warn him that further interference will lead to disqualification.] TD: Thank goodness Flare didn't connect with that chair. That could have been the end for the Psycho right there... SR: ...and not just in this match, Dross. That kind of shot can end your career. Pity Flare missed... TD: Will you please stop! [Haley gets out of the ring and rolls the Psycho back in under the ropes. As he gets back up onto the apron, he hesitates, and the Psycho groggily lunges his shoulder between the ropes into the Giant's midsection. Haley falls backwards and hits the steel railings hard. Big pop, but the Psycho collapses back to the canvas. Flare dashes over to attend to his big protege. The referee begins the count on Haley - 2 - 3 - still the big man doesn't move - 4 - 5 - the Psycho begins to stir - 6 - 7 - the Psycho gets to his feet - 8 - 9 - the Psycho stops the count!] SR: Now _that_, Dross, is really stupid. It looks like Haley wasn't going to make it back into the ring within the count, and the Psycho stops the referee. TD: He's out here tonight to prove a point, Steve. A count-out's not good enough. It seems that the Outlaw wasn't even impressed when the Psycho defeated Deathbringer, and the Psycho's determined to take out one of the Horsemen... hang on, Haley's on his feet. [Flare holds up some fingers for Haley to count, and Haley seems to be shaken but alright. He gets up onto the apron, but as the Psycho heads towards him, gets down to the arena floor again. He tries on another side of the ring, and the Psycho nails him as he gets onto the apron. The same happens on a third side - as Haley and Flare reach the side facing the aisle to the locker-room area, they look at one another, make brushing motions with their hands towards the Psycho, and begin to head up the aisle. The heel pop grows louder and louder as the Psycho shrugs his shoulders at the crowd.] SR: So if he wants the win so badly, why doesn't he go after Haley? TD: [puzzled] I don't know, Steve... hang on, I think he knew something that we didn't! Look! [There is a buzz as the Crippler and the Venusian Death Cell appear at the head of the aisle, each of them carrying a chain. They walk together down the aisle.] TD: This looks bad for the Horsemen, Steve. Maybe the Cell and the Crippler want to get started on that Russian Chain Match a little early... SR: Those two guys had better not use those chains on Flare or Haley here tonight, Dross. There'll be big fines for that kind of attack... plus, of course, those two idiots could never face the wrath of the Horsemen and survive. [Flare and Haley look at one another, and begin to back towards the ring. The Psycho times his attack perfectly, bouncing off the ropes on the other side of the ring and launching himself like a human cannonball through the ropes onto both Flare and Haley. He unloads on both Horsemen, before rolling Haley back into the ring. He whips the giant into one corner, and follows him in with a clothesline. Pop! The Psycho gets up onto the second turnbuckle, and pounds away on Haley - the crowd join in the chant - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10! The Psycho performs a highly athletic move, and performs a leaping head-scissor take-over from the corner, getting extra leverage as his hands hit the canvas, and he fires Haley quite some way across the ring. Haley slowly gets to his feet, and the Psycho charges, nearly taking the giant's head off with a huge running clothesline. Haley goes down. Meanwhile, on the outside, Flare is trying to warn off the Crippler and the VDC, unaware of the situation Haley is in inside the ring.] SR: I can't believe this, Dross - those two goons are distracting Flare so much he doesn't know his own man's in big trouble! TD: Well, if two guys came up to me armed with chains, I'd hardly ignore them, Steve. [The Psycho nails Haley with a belly-to-back suplex, and the giant lies flat out in one corner. The Psycho climbs the buckles... the crowd noise is almost deafening as the Psycho launches himself from the top with his De-railer. Huge pop as he covers Haley, and the crowd chant the count as the referee's hand hits the canvas - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: the Subway Psycho! [The Crippler and the VDC laugh at Flare and head back up the aisle.] TD: So those two were just playing mind games, after all. SR: They won't be playing mind games next Saturday, Dross. The Horsemen will make them pay by caving their putrid skulls in with those chains! TD: My, my, a little too much coffee today, I think, Steve! [The Psycho kicks Haley out under the bottom rope, and Flare helps him back up the aisle as fireworks explode in the ring and the Psycho celebrates.] TD: Another great win for the Psycho! He's going to beat the Outlaw, I can feel it in my bones. He's just unstoppable at the moment! SR: Firstly, Dross, this guy fluked another victory here tonight. If it hadn't been for those two morons showing up, Haley and Flare would have kept him under control - Haley's still just a little bit green, but there's time, and that killer instinct will come through loud and clear next Saturday night. Secondly, and most importantly, this man will _not_ beat the Outlaw. It can't be done. Our Champion is the only man left in this league with an unbeaten record. TD: A record that could come to an end right here tonight: the Outlaw's scheduled up next to face the American hero, Casey James! SR: If the Outlaw gets beat tonight, Dross, I'll eat your toupee. TD: Will you _please_ give it up about the hair?! [The Psycho finally leaves the ring, and heads back up the aisle, hi-fiving the fans as he goes, amidst a huge ovation.] TD: Well, the Psycho's certainly one of the crowd pleasers in the IIWF - he's been to the top before, and he's capable of doing it again. I can't wait for next Saturday night! ------------------------------------------ IIWF World Heavyweight Championship Match: ------------------------------------------ Outlaw vs. Casey "Whitebread" James ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for tonight's main event. This match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship [pop]. Introducing first, the challenger: accompanied down the aisle by the Man Of Steel, from the grand old U.S. of A., weighing in at 320lbs, Casey "Whitebread" James! [Big pop as "Yankee Doodle Dandy" blasts out over the PA, and Casey comes down the aisle, accompanied by the Man Of Steel. The pair high-five the fans on their way to the ring, and one fan hands Casey an American flag, which Casey holds aloft, and waves patriotically once he has entered the ring.] TD: Casey sure knows how to get these fans going, Steve! SR: Yeah, going straight for the sick bags. I can't stand these two do-gooders. The Outlaw's going to teach them a lesson they'll never forget here tonight... RA: And introducing his opponent, the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion: coming down the aisle, hailing from parts unknown, weighing in at 353lbs, the Outlaw! [Big heel pop as the Outlaw comes down the aisle to the strains of "Outlaw blues". He sneers at the fans, and snatches away from any attempts they might make to touch him.] TD: Yet again, conspicuous by their absence are the other Horsemen, Steve. SR: The Outlaw's out here to prove a point too, Dross. He's sending a message to the Subway Stinker that it's all business from here on in. The Outlaw doesn't need the Horsemen to hang on to that belt - and he's going to prove it here tonight. [The Outlaw enters the ring and disrobes, removing the gleaming gold belt from his waist and giving it to the referee, who holds it aloft. The crowd cheer. MOS steps out of the ring, and Casey and the Outlaw prepare to lock up. The timekeeper's bell rings, and the match is underway.] TD: I'm looking forward to a great match here, Steve. SR: Too right. We're finally going to see Cornbread pasted all over the mat... [The Outlaw and Casey lock up, the champ getting the upper hand with a side headlock. Casey pushes the Outlaw into the ropes, and ducks under him as he comes back off the ropes. He hiptosses the champion to the mat. Pop. The Outlaw gets up, and cautiously locks up with Casey again. He again applies a headlock, and is again sent into the ropes. This time, he blocks Casey's hiptoss, and counters with a hiptoss of his own. He immediately stomps on Casey, and drops to the mat, applying an armbar.] TD: So it seems this one's not going to be an all-out brawl. [The crowd near the head of the aisle suddenly get to their feet, as the other three Horsemen appear and begin to strut down to the ring, Flare, Miss Secret and Bodybag leading the way, with Haley behind them. They look directly at the ring.] SR: Well, there's a surprise, Dross. It seems the Horsemen are still presenting a uniform front, after all. [While the Outlaw keeps Casey trapped inside his armbar, the Horsemen arrive at ringside, and stand on the opposite side of the ring to the now concerned Man Of Steel. MOS starts bashing on the apron, which cajoles the crowd into a chant of "USA, USA, USA!" Casey begins to power out of the hold, driving an elbow into the Outlaw's mid-section, before bouncing off the ropes and flooring the champion with a kneelift. Big pop! Casey again comes off the ropes, and goes for a legdrop, but the Outlaw rolls out of the way, and Casey hits the mat hard. The Outlaw gets to his feet, checks his nose for any bleeding, and looks at the redness on his hands. He immediately dives on Casey, infuriated, flailing away.] TD: Looks like the outlaw's seeing red, Steve. SR: I just _knew_ you were going to say that, Dross. [The Outlaw drags Casey to his feet, whips him into the ropes, and hits him with a vicious clothesline. Big heel pop as the Outlaw wipes the blood from his nose. He looks out of the ring to his Horsemen partners, who egg him on. He picks Casey up again, and whips him into the ropes oncee more, this time knocking him to the mat with a boot to the face. He goes to the second rope, and drives an elbow into Casey's sternum. The champ goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - Kick out!] TD: Casey's in trouble here, Steve. SR: Well, I'm not the kind of guy to say "I told you so"... but, I told you so! [The Outlaw pummels Casey a little more with punches, and then kicks him out of the ring. He then gets into an argument with the referee, distracting him from the three advancing horseen on the outside. Haley walks threateningly towards the Man Of Steel, who attempts to come to the aid of his partner, while Flare and Bodybag unload on Casey. The crowd begin to jeer very loudly. The Man Of Steel jumps onto the ring apron and alerts the referee to the cheating going on on the outside of the ring. Flare and Kinder immediately step away from Casey, looking innocently up at the referee. The Outlaw, meanwhile, gets out of the ring through the ropes and grabs the hapless Casey, ramming him against the steel crowd railings and bashing him against the ring apron before rolling him into the ring. Casey is clearly in a bad way.] SR: I think the Horsemen have this one all sewn up, Dross. TD: Yeah, but as usual, it's been a team effort. SR: Teamwork's a great American quality. Casey and MOS could do worse than taking a few lessons from the Horsemen. [The Outlaw drags Casey to his feet, and lines him up for the Cattle Buster DDT. However, Casey finds the strength to backdrop the Outlaw, much to the crowd's delight!] SR: What?! How did that good-for-nothing goofball find the strength to do that?! [The Outlaw hits the mat hard, and Casey goes for the cover - 1 - suddenly, Blackjack Haley throws himself into the ring, and starts pounding on Casey. The referee immediately signals for the bell, and the Outlaw jumps to his feet, pushing Haley in the chest, and getting in his face.] SR: The Outlaw would easily have kicked out of that pinning predicament, Dross! What was Haley thinking of? TD: I've no idea, Steve. But it seems the other Horsemen are just as mad as the Outlaw. [Flare and Kinder also enter the ring. Kinder too starts getting in the giant's face, while Flare once more is relegated to the role of peacemaker.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, as the result of a disqualification: Casey "Whitebread" James! [Big pop] However, titles cannot change hands on a disqualification, so STILL the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion: the Outlaw! [These announcements fall on deaf ears. Flare persuades the Horsemen to calm down, and discuss these matters in private. They leave the ring, the Outlaw stopping only to grab his championship belt, and head up the aisle, bickering all the way. MOS enters the ring and picks up Casey, dusting him off. The pair receive a big ovation as "Yankee Doodle Dandy" begins to play over the PA system.] TD: Well, Steve, this doesn't bode well for the Horsemen next Saturday night. It seems they're incapable of working together with any cohesion at the moment... SR: What are you talking about, Dross?! We've been through this already tonight. All I have to say is that the Outlaw's still the champion now, and he'll still be the champion after his battle with the Stinker next Saturday night. Okay? I'm outta here, Dross. I'm going to get this direct from the Horsemens' mouth... [Roberts gets up from the announcers' table and heads up the aisle.] TD: Whatever you say, Steve. Folks, that's all we've got time for this week. Don't forget to join my colleagues Larry Morton and Becky LaRue this Wednesday night for IIWF Midweek Mayhem. And, of course, don't forget to tune in next Saturday night for the IIWF's pay-per-view spectacular, IIWF Ring Wars. It promises to be a -- hang on, I hear that we can go backstage and get an interview with the Horsemen. Well, folks, we'll go straight over to that now. Let's turn it over to Steve. This is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut to the locker room backstage at the IIWF Coliseum. All four Horsemen are present with Miss Victoria Secret and there is grumbling among the four until they notice Steve Roberts and the camera crew arrive. As Flare, Bodybag, Blackjack Haley and the Outlaw turn to face the camera, Miss Secret takes the microphone from "Soundbite" and speaks first:] VS: Everyone in the IIWF has been questioning the relationship of the Horsemen lately. Well, we're here to put those questions to rest. The Horsemen are the dominant force in the IIWF today and we plan to keep it that way. At Ring Wars, this "Posse" is going to learn why the Horsemen are the best thing going today! SR: Everyone knows the Horsemen are the elite group in the IIWF, but there still seems to be some tension among you four. [The Outlaw grabs the microphone] MO: You can call it tension if you want to, Roberts, but I just call it being pissed off! This rookie [he points at Haley] just cost me my unbeaten streak in the IIWF, not exactly the way I wanted to go into Ring Wars. I told you guys I didn't want any interference in my matches. You'd better start keeping your boy on a shorter leash, Flare, or I may have to do something about him! [Roberts takes the microphone and moves to Flare] FL: [glances over at the Outlaw] Now, now, Outlaw let's not make threats.....'cause remember who you're talking to. [he looks directly in Outlaw's eyes] Haley's a young gun, he's trying hard to be a Horseman, and I for one think he's doing a damn good job. Outlaw, our purpose is to obtain titles and keep them, that's what we do. If you've forgotten that, then maybe you've been out in the desert too long. Just keep this in mind...Bodybag and I brought you into the Horsemen......we can take you out! You tell em' Bodybag! [Miss Secret rushes to Flare's side to comfort him as the Outlaw glares back at Flare] [Roberts moves the microphone to Bodybag Kinder] BK: Haley, boy, you've got a lot to learn. When I was in control of the match at Midweek Mayhem, you put your nose where you shouldn't have and interfered. You should know that I don't want help unless I NEED it. You could've damn well cost me that match and dropped me down in the ratings. We've got an agenda to carry out, and by God we're not going to screw it up. I'm willing to put this all behind me if you clean up your act. I understand you're a rookie and you're new to the Horseman, but this sh*t has to stop RIGHT NOW. What do you have to say about this? [Roberts stands beside big Blackjack Haley and holds the microphone for comments] BH: Look, I'm doing my best to watch out for ALL you guys. Flare's been great to me. I've gotten new moves every day from him. Bodybag, Outlaw, you haven't done jack for me since I got here. I'm trading my muscle for your minds, and so far it's not much of a deal. If you don't like my tactics, I'll change. But someone better tell me how it's done. And Outlaw, I'm sorry if you think I cost you the match, but I'm telling you, if you don't start watching MY back like you're supposed to, you better start watching YOURS! [Outlaw and Haley turn towards each other in a classic staredown. Outlaw looks like he's about to take a swing when Flare jumps between them, breaking up the confrontation. The Outlaw scoffs and waves his hand at Haley and walks away from the rest of the Horsemen. Victoria Secret, looking back over her shoulder at him, grabs the microphone one last time and then stares into the camera] VS: All you fools need to know is that my men will be ready for Ring Wars. The Horsemen are still riding over opponents in the IIWF and no one is going to stop us now! FL: Whooooooooo! [As the Horsemen file out of the camera's view, fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+