##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Report - 2 July 1996 ----------------------------------------------- [Cut to montage footage of IIWF Ring Wars with a rock track in the background - Steve Forget crashing over the ropes onto Sabin Figaro and Locke Cole - Don Antonio's cousins beating on the Prince of Darkness - Tony Starks clocking Simon Lebec with his oscar - Abie appearing from under the ring and nailing Vorkian and Tora Tora Tora with an Elvis desk lamp - Fisto Flash attacking his partner Robski and their opponents - Joe Latta and Tiger Claw beating on Dan Kauffman - Billy Shakespeare wearing a wig - Moondust kissing Billy Shakespeare - Billy with his hand raised in victory - Rising Sun Revolution celebrating with the IIWF Tag Team Championship belts - Easy Rider choked over the ropes by a chain - High Velocity unmasking to show that they are the Atomic Destroyers - The Masked Marauder unmasking to show that he is Altair - Hakiro Matsuoko missing a moonsault from the top of the cage - Tiger Claw holding the IC belt aloft - Deathbringer drops Dan Kauffman throat first onto the crowd railings - Dan Kauffman nails Deathbringer repeatedly with a chair - Kauffman is wheeled out of the arena on a stretcher - The Subway Psycho executing a crucifix on the Outlaw - the Psycho celebrating with the belt - the Psycho and the Outlaw shake hands - the Horsemen attack the Outlaw, and Casey James and the Man Of Steel come to his rescue. After all of this, cut to Tim Dross in the IIWF Control Centre.] Wow! Hi there, folks. I'm Tim Dross, and you've just seen some of the many highlights of Saturday night's pay-per-view spectacular, IIWF Ring Wars! What an evening it was! We saw thirteen matches of pure dynamite, and the repercussions of the events that went down will be felt for weeks, and maybe months, to come. Of course, we have three new champions in the IIWF. But more of that later... here's what we've got coming up in today's report: - a run-down of the results from Saturday night's PPV - comments from its participants - a special interview with the former IIWF Champion, the Outlaw, and big news concerning Dan "Flash" Kauffman - a look at "Frost" Scott Morrison, a guy who's keen to make a big impact here in the IIWF - the latest rankings in both the singles and tag team divisions And more! So let's get straight to it! ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF Ring Wars June 29 1996 _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ What a night! Over 12,000 screaming fans in the IIWF Coliseum witnessed the greatest night of wrestling entertainment on record. We saw controversy, thrills and spills... let's run down the results: - STUNT TEAM USA defeated THE RETURNERS in the hard-fought opening contest Let's hear from the triumphant Ron and Steve: [SCENE: Steve and Ron come out of a small hut somewhere up in the hills. In front of the hut stands an old Chevy.] Steve: "One minute left, Ron!" Ron: "That's an awful long time, Steve." Steve: "Yeah, just as long as the three seconds seemed during which I had to keep Figaro's shoulders on the mat! But... whew... we got that victory!" Ron: "Sure, but it was awful close. I wish to congratulate the Returners on such a great fight!" Steve: "Me too!" Ron: "So what do you think, Steve, who's next?" Steve: "I don't know who's next, but I know what we're goin' to do next!" Ron: "???" Steve: "We oughta get in that car now!" Ron: [Looks at the hut] "Guess you're right! [Towards the camera] Cya, folks!" [Steve and Ron jump into the card, start the engine and leave at full speed. Two seconds later an explosion is heard and the hut goes up in flames. Fade] Always living life on the edge, that's Stunt Team USA! - PRINCE OF DARKNESS defeated DON ANTONIO by pinfall with the Misery Drop - TONY STARKS pinned "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC after the Dragon Suplex, and walked off with the "honorary" Academy Award Lebec had been presented with before the match [SCENE: Starks stands in the interview area, dressed in street clothes with that ever present cold look on his face.] TS: Ring Wars was a day of reckoning and awakening for the IIWF. Tony Starks is back and better than ever. This is just the begining, this starts an accumulation of concentrated efforts on my part to get back to the top of the ladder. I have an Open Door Policy: if you want a shot at me, see if I am for real, just come sign on the dotted line. This is my destiny, no one will stop my charge to the top. [Fade] As intense as ever. I must say I like this new Starks - he may still have that cold attitude, but he's a better competitor for his time away from the rings. - THE ALPHABET BOYS, armed with copious amounts of sugar and a desk lamp, defeated the UNITED NATIONS Let's hear from the triumphant Abie and Zed: [Backstage during Ring Wars.] Zed: Did you see us! That's was us in the ring, and that's the way it's always gonna be. Abie: [He is stuffing his face with handfuls of sugar] Mmmmf! Zed: Whoever's next, here we are. The Alphabet Boys are unstoppable. [He slaps Abie on the back. Abie coughs a spray of sugar at the camera.] [Security runs in with the shattered lamp, hands it to Zed, then runs out. Zed examines it carefully, his anger rising.] Zed: THIS WAS MY ELVIS LAMP! [Abie gives a toothy, sugar laden, grin] [Zed attacks with the lamp, Abie tosses the sack of sugar. The camera makes a hasty retreat. The last thing we are the two battling in a cloud of sugar.] - ROBSKI and FISTO FLASH were counted out against CASEY JAMES and the MAN OF STEEL when an argument broke out on the arena floor That scuffle resulted not only in defeat for Flash and Robski, but Fisto Flash struck an official with that metal prosthesis for the second time since entering the IIWF. Last time, he was met with a stiff fine. This time, the IIWF President is going to take more harsh action. Let's get pre-recorded comments, from the office of the IIWF's head honcho: [SCENE: Office of the IIWF President. Daniel Spreadbury looks into the camera and speaks:] DS: The conduct of Fisto Flash, and his manager Robo Stone, both inside and outside of the rings since entering the IIWF have long been a matter of some concern to myself and the Board of Directors. When Mr. Flash struck an official for the first time some weeks ago on live television, he was levied with a substantial fine and a warning that a repetition of such an offence would be looked upon very seriously indeed. On Saturday Night at Ring Wars, a highly competitive match in which Mr. Flash was involved was marred by his actions once more. Mr. Flash deliberately struck the referee with his steel prosthesis, and this is completely inexcusable. I am here to report that as of Monday morning, Mr. Flash and his manager, Robo Stone, have been indefinitely suspended from competition in the IIWF. I realise that this is harsh action to be taking, but I was left with no choice. [Fade] Wow. I've not seen the IIWF President so upset about something. But there you have it, folks - Fisto has been indefinitely suspended! Quite what this means remains to be seen. - JOE LATTA defeated BRAD "BODYBAG" KINDER And how! You remember how Brian Lau expressed a desire to manage the career of Latta, the promising rookie? Well, we all found out on Saturday night that Lau has indeed acquired Latta's services. Lau gave Latta a foreign object, with which Joe nailed Kinder, and got the pin. Dan Kauffman, who had come down to ringside to cheer Joe on, confronted Lau, and was attacked by Tiger Claw, who came out of the crowd. Latta then jumped from the ring and proceeded to attack his former friend, and what carnage ensued! Kauffman was barely able to walk back to the locker room. Joe Latta is, amazingly, proud of his actions. Let's go to his comments: [SCENE: In the confines of a darkened gym, Joe Latta sits drinking a cocktail and enjoying his current situation. He is talking on the phone...) "... Yeah Lau, I hear you loud and clear... Wasn't it great? I nearry busted out laughing when I saw Dan's look! Absolutely perfect,,, just as I had imagined... oh, the crowd was booing, the announcers were shocked, and I was enjoying every minute of it! What?... yeah, I'll come to your place a little later... Thanks Lau, but I already KNOW that I'm a future champion! [Laughs] Bye. [Hangs up the phone] "Oh Dan, I'm so sorry for you... being cooped up in a hospital while your ribs float across the rest of your body... Sprry that worse damage wasn't done! But Dan, don't feel secluded... You're not the only one to get a taste of what you got. No, there's a lot more of the same punishment to go around! And you know what, NOBODY is going to be exempt. I told you that I'd defeat Kinder... nobody listened. Well now, you're all going to HAVE to listen, because it may mean the difference between staying healthy and winding up in a hospital! Or worse... "Kauffman, friend... [Coughs on purpose] I hope for your sake that you never return... I wouldn't want to hurt you worse... At least, not for the first 10 seconds! It's time for everyone to feel the wrath of Joe Latta, and with Brian Lau... the greatest mind in wrestling today... and Tiger Claw, the NEW Intercontinental Champion, there isn't anyone that can stop me. Take your best shot!" [Fade] - THE CRIPPLER and the VENUSIAN DEATH CELL defeated FLARE and BLACKJACK HALEY in a Russian Chain Match What a match it was! The High Plains Drifters came down to ringside to assist their "Posse" stablemates, and Easy Rider ended up hanging from the ring, choked by a chain. He was rushed to hospital, and was sure to miss his scheduled later match. All in all, it wasn't a good night for the Horsemen, either... not only was Kinder pinned, and not only did Flare and Haley lose in this one, but worse was to come! - "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE pinned MOONDUST in a Loser Leaves IIWF match Talk about bizarre encounters, and this one is going to be right on the tip of your tongue! But the most frightening thing about this match was Moondust's sworn vow as he left the Coliseum that he would be back. Please, no! Anyway, let's get comments from the victorious Billy Shakespeare: [SCENE: Billy Shakespeare sitting in a small room, could be a broom closet or similar storage cubicle in the Coliseum] Billy: Ring Wars is over, the wrestlers gone, but oh so much they've left behind. Literally. So here I am at the lost-and-found trying to return a few items that were left in the locker room. Good old civic minded me. Verily, I should team with Casey and The Man I'm so good. Let's see what we have here. Lo! [He turns to a cardboard box at his feet. The first item is a "Deathbringer-Your Worst Nightmare" poster] No name on this one, Hmmm, I guess this one is yours Prince of Darkness. [Next comes a Gold bracelet. Billy examines it closely, reading the inside] "Stolen from MGM props department, made in China." Looks good, but entirely fake, it's gotta belong to Lebec. [He drags out a shattered mass of wire and plaster, the recognizeable head of Elvis sits atop it.] I don't even want to know... [He pulls up a handfull of miniature figurines] Joe Latta, I thought you had just lost your dignity...But here it seems you've lost your fans too. In my opinion, you made a Lau-sy choice. [He drags up a number of items.] Would the owner of this basball cap please report to Dan Kauffman immediatly. And here's a one way ticket to San Franciso. Moondust, you're gonna need this. And all these masks? I don't know who is who anymore, let alone who these belong to. But wait, there's one thing left. [Billy holds up a souvenier IIWF Championship Belt] Oh Outlaw, guess you lost this one big-time. As is written in All's Well That Ends Well: 'Praising what is lost makes the rememberance dear.' [Fade out] - STEAMROLLER were defeated by RISING SUN REVOLUTION for the IIWF Tag Team Championships! Hiroshi and Ryudu pulled off a second pinfall victory against Taylor and Brassow to become the new IIWF Tag Team Champions in a great, athletic encounter. However, nothing has been heard from either team in the days since Ring Wars. I'm going to do my best to find out where Rising Sun Revolution have disappeared to. Maybe a visit to the office of IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury will yield some answers. More in Friday's Report. - PALE RIDER and the MASKED MARAUDER defeated HIGH VELOCITY... ...but this match was really a case of mixed identities! For High Velocity removed their masks to reveal none other than Larn and Steroid, the Atomic Destroyers! The Drifters' oldest enemies had their element of surprise eliminated by the Drifters' trump card, however, as the Masked Marauder unmasked himself and turned out to be Altair, who lost a Loser Leaves IIWF match a few weeks back. Now aligned with Josey Wales' "Posse", the Senator must be kicking himself... However, events took a toll on the Drifters. Easy was choked half to death, and the Pale Rider didn't fare much better. A gang of reporters, including representatives from the IIWF, tried to get comments from Josey Wales, but he wasn't forthcoming: [SCENE: The camera follows Josey Wales out of a hospital towards his car] Reporter1: Mr. Wales - can you give us a status report on your men? JW: No comment, I have nothing to say. [Tries to fight through all the paparazzi to get into his car.] Reporter2: Mr. Wales, the public has a right to know! JW: [Wales spins aroung, clutching the reporter's thoat and pinning him up against a nearby mini-van.] You want to know what's going on? Well I'll tell you...Easy is in trauma from his injuries, and Pale, that brave soul, isn't doing much better. It may be a long time before they can get back in the ring. Is that what you wanted to hear? [He finally lets go off the reporter. The reporter drops to the ground, gasping for breath. Wales gets in his convertable Cadillac and drives off. Fade] "The Outlaw" Josey Wales - still mad, bad and dangerous to know after all these years. And the Senator isn't finished with the Posse yet. Let's get his comments: [Scene: The offices of the Senator. The Senator, Larn, and Steroid are sitting around a large conference table.] The Senator: Boys, did you see the look on Pale Rider's face when you pulled your masks off?! This had to be one of the biggest surprises in IIWF history. Unfortunately Mr. Wales had an accident and was unable to see what happened. Larn: Drifters, you thought that you were rid of the Atomic Destroyers when you ran from that other federation. Well, boys, your worst nightmare just got worse. Steriod: We seem to have a problem child in the federation: Altair, you were in a match with us and the loser, which was you, was supposed to leave the IIWF. I do not know how you pulled this off - but have no fear, we will end your career so you will not be able to wrestle any more. Larn: Altair, you were in our camp. You know what we can do to you. The Senator's bag of tricks is still untapped in the IIWF. When we had the Loser leaves Match, you know we took it easy on you. We could have finished your career, but we spared you. Altair, do not even show up at the matches, not even as a fan, if you do your career is finished. The Senator: Well, boys the Wizard said you were good and now it is time to prove it to yourselves and to the rest of the IIWF. Mr. Wales, I make you this challenge, one more match, make it a match of your choice. I have only one stipulation for you and that is No DQ. You can dream up whatever type of match and we will be there. [We hear a knock on the door. The door opens and a Dark Hooded man enters.] Dark Hooded man: Senator, I have a telegram for you. [The Senator, taking the telegram, thanks the man. The Senator reads the telegram and tells Larn and Steriod that the newest member of the organization will be arriving in the next few days.] Larn: Well, I for one will be glad to see our old friend [Larn and steriod get up from the table and and follow the Dark Hooded man out of the door. Camera fades to black] Quite who this new member will be remains to be seen. We'll find out soon enough. - TIGER CLAW pinned HAKIRO MATSUOKO in a Cage match to become the new IIWF Intercontinental Champion What an incredible encounter this was! Hakiro looked to have the match sewn up when he climbed the cage and launched himself in a spectacular moonsault, but Claw rolled out of the way and was able to pin the stunned Matsuoko at the climax of one of the most hard-fought matches of the evening. Naturally, Claw's long-winded manager, Brian Lau, is keen to tell us all how impressed we should be with Claw's performance: [SCENE: A section of the Dojo where a ring is set up. Tiger Claw is seen in the ring sparring with someone. Brian Lau and Kenny Tanaka are at ringside. Brian Lau holds the Intercontinental belt.] KT: Hello, folks. I'm coming to you from the training headquaters of the newly crowned IC champ, Tiger Claw. I'm here to get comments from a man who is definately top candidate for Manager Of the Year, Mr. Brian Lau. BL: Thanks Kenny, You flatter me! KT: Oh, but what I say is true! BL: I know... Anyway, down to business. Thing are getting pretty busy now that Tiger Claw has the belt. People are coming from all sides to try and take this prize away from him.I can assure the people watching that Tiger Claw will take on anyone who is WORTHY of a shot... Not like the last IC champ we had... There are already a few people that I know will be aiming for us. First, Venusian Death Cell. He has this idea that we fear him. Just another big freak with a wacky gimmick. Let me tell you something, VDC, gimmicks don't win matches. Talent does. Tiger Claw has the talent. He has the skills to put you away. You will be under our consideration for a shot. Second, Brad Kinder. Bodybag has been slated as the IC hopeful of the Horsemen. Hasn't been all that impressive as of late. Kinder, maybe you should put your house in order before you take a shot at Tiger Claw. There seems to be a lot of in-fighting among the ranks of your little club. Last, but not least, Dan Kauffman. Dan, you're probably upset that your friend saw fit to join me. You shouldn't be. This is the best thing for Joe, and he's learning from the best. Just take a look for yourself. [Camera swings towards the ring, where Tiger Claw is pounding on some jobber-type. Joe Latta is at the other side of the ring watching intently. Each time Tiger Claw puts the jobber to the canvas, he goes over to where Latta is standing and explains the maneuvers that were just shown. Joe nods his head in understanding. Camera swings back to Brian Lau.] BL: You see, Kauffman, Joe is right now learning the basics of our style of hand to hand combat. Before he came under my wing, all he knew was what you taught him, which, to be honest, was somewhat limited. Tiger Claw is going to be teaching Joe the ways of the warrior. But that's not where it stops. Oh, no. You see, Latta learned some things from you, Kauffman. Some tricks and secrets that are exchanged from one friend to another. I hope that you realize that we are now privy to all that information. Holds, high impact maneuvers, submission locks... But that's not all! Personality traits, weaknesses, and psychological hangups are all in there too. Yes, Kauffman. We know you quite well now. Tiger Claw is a great teacher for Joe. Hey, he's the Intercontinental champion. But it takes a very good teacher to be able to learn from the student as well. That's what's happening here. You've been warned. I noticed that before your beating at the hands of Deathbringer, you went through some hand katas... This amuses me. You have definately taken some time to study the culture of many of the people who train here. Unfortunately, Hand katas are a little different from attaining victory. Sure, Kauffman, you can do it all, but like most Westerners, you are a jack of all trades, yet master of none. Tiger Claw may not know as much about everything, but he DOES know almost everything about one aspect of fighting. It's this mastery of his art that brought him this belt, and it's going to be that mastery that allows him to keep it for a long time. KT: Well, there you have it. Words from the number one manager in the IIWF today. BL: Oh, stop... I'm blushing. KT: Okay... Let me see that belt again? BL: Sure thing... Wonderful, isn't it? KT: Sure is. Well, that's all the time we have for today. For Brian Lau, Tiger Claw AND Joe Latta, this is Kenny Tanaka saying so long, everybody! [Fade] - DEATHBRINGER beat DAN "FLASH" KAUFFMAN two falls to one in a Deathmatch Poor Dan Kauffman's in hospital recovering from this match as we speak. Battered and bruised from his earlier attack at the hands of Tiger Claw and Joe Latta, he wasn't at 100% for this match, and Deathbringer took full advantage of his rib injury. However, let's not take anything away from Deathbringer, who endured all manner of attacks and still pulled out a victory. A fantastic matchup... and one that everybody who saw it will remember for a very long time to come. The Deathbringer understands probably better than anyone the magnitude of this encounter: [SCENE: Inside the Mortuary. The Coroner and Deathbringer stand between some coffins] The Coroner: "It's over. One of possibly the most gruelling matches in wrestling history is over, and it has turned two opponents into better and more respected creatures. Kauffman, you gave my man one of his toughest battles ever and if I reflect about that match I think it could very well have ended in another way. The feud is settled..." Deathbringer: "... and it will never start again, guaranteed. Kauffman, when we stand in that squared circle I looked deep into your heart and into your soul. What I saw was one of the most clean souls I have ever seen. Now you can believe me that I faced many opponents during the past centuries, and I can remember each and every name of them, but yours will always be the one that stands at the very top. Your bravery will never be forgotten. At the end of the match I returned to my mortuary and you were taken into a nearby hospital. I do not think that you will be out of business for too long, but when you come back you will have trouble finding any other opponent who dares to challenge you. After all if you had faced anyone else but me in that match you would have come out of it as the winner. Kauffman, when you return be sure that a mighty force is watching your back, and if you get into problems you cannot see to overcome, then you know whom to call." [With these words a heavy fog comes up, Deathbringer vanishes and leaves the Coroner standing between the caskets] The Coroner: "Now the first chapter of the IIWF book of history is written. Let's wait and see what destiny plans next..." [Fade] Indeed. Let's wait and see what the future has in store for both of these great competitors. - The SUBWAY PSYCHO pinned the OUTLAW with a crucifix to become the new IIWF World Heavyweight Champion The main event lived up to its billing, as fans were treated to an amazing encounter. It really could have gone either way, but it was the Psycho who pulled out the unexpected crucifix, the move that managed to hold the Outlaw's shoulders down to the canvas for the three count. After the match, the Outlaw uncharacteristically shook hands with the Psycho in a rare display of respect - but paid dearly for the loss and the courtesy as he was jumped by his three Horsemen buddies. Had it not been for the assistance of Casey James and the Man Of Steel, the Outlaw might have been a goner. We'll hear from the ex-champion later on. But right now, let's go to words from the new man in town. I caught up with the Psycho right after Ring Wars: [SCENE: Tim Dross enters the locker room after Ring Wars. He finds the Subway Psycho clutching the IIWF World Heavy Weight Championship belt. The new champion is so overcome with emotion that he is near to tears.] TD: Subway...may I have a word with you? SP: Tim, this is the greatest night of my life! I can't tell you how much this title means to me. [The Psycho holds the belt tighter and momentarily walks out of the camera shot] TD: Psycho, we can all see that you are obviously elated with your victory. Can you give us your thoughts on the man you beat, the Outlaw? SP: I knew all along that he was a class act. When he first won the belt I told you that he would make a fine champion for the IIWF. Then he fell in with the Horsemen and I disapproved of his activities. That's his prerogative, after all. Then he started making derogatory statements towards me. That's when I knew he wasn't in his right mind. We've known each other for a long time, and although this is the first time we've met in the ring, I knew he wasn't thinking for himself. TD: Was there any doubt that he would shake your hand at the end of the match? SP: None. He's been a stand up guy in the past, Flare and Kinder aside. I respect the hell out of him for forbidding the rest of the Horsemen from ringside. TD: That's something the Horsemen took out on him after the match. SP: Flare is THE most dispicable person in the sport. Kinder isn't far behind. I couldn't reach Outlaw before it was too late. I tried to get to Haley too, but I think he'll follow the same path. You can't trust Flare or Kinder. I know Outlaw knows that now. Once he lost the belt, Flare had no use for him, so he turned. Funny thing is, is that Flare never was or is good enough for a belt himself. He's a master manipulator. What he did to him at the end of the match was horrible. I feel guilty about celebrating my victory while that went on. If I had seen it, I surely would have stepped in and help the Outlaw. TD: So what's next, champ? SP: Wow, its good to hear that again. I guess its up to the IIWF championship committee. Whoever they see fit for me to wrestle, I will. Being champ is totally different to being a "contender." You don't have time to feud or worry about personal vendettas. Every week you have to defend against however has earned the shot. TD: What about Outlaw, would you give him a rematch? SP: Definitlely. He, among all others deserves a shot for this belt again. Then again you look at someone like Deathbringer, although I beat him a couple of weeks ago, he's more than earned a shot by defeating Kauffman. But Tim, I just want to enjoy the moment right now. I've gone through a lot over the last couple of months and now it's finally time for me to feel good about myself again. TD: I assume your talking about the mysterious "retirement" of your former manager, valet, and confidant, Mistress Sasha? SP: Yeah, I wish she was here to share this with me. Sasha, wherever you are, this is also for you [holds up the belt. The Psycho once again becomes overcome with emotion and clutches the belt closely] I'm sorry Tim, but I gotta go. [The Psycho exits] TD: Well there you have it, the new IIWF World Champion! Obviously he's cherishing every moment of his new title reign. If his rise to the top of the IIWF ladder is any indication of what type of champion he will be, we may have a champion for a long time! [Fade] SPECIAL INTERVIEW: The Outlaw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After his defeat and subsequent attack, former IIWF Champion, the Outlaw, returned to the Prairies to reflect and recuperate. We sent "Soundbite" Steve Roberts on a mission to find him, and he filed this report: [Fade in on a desert at night. The only light around is from an impressive campsite with a $1,500 tent complete with a gas-powered generator which runs an air-conditioner in the tent and several floodlights around the site. Steve "Soundbite" Roberts steps from the tent and checks some steaks cooking on a gas grill near the tent. He looks up at the camera and smiles.] SR: Well, that bum Larry Morton never got comments from the Outlaw after Ring Wars, so Dross sent me out to this freakin' desert to find the sand rat. Heh, heh, wait'll Dross sees the bill for all this camping gear and . . . hey, what was that? [Roberts is shaken as the Outlaw walks from the darkness and is illuminated by the floodlights. As he moves closer to Roberts and puts his arm around his shoulder, the Outlaw towers over Roberts.] MO: I figured only a fool would be out here with a getup like this. What are you doing here, Roberts? SR: Dross sent me out to get a few comments. As long as you're here...? MO: No problem if it will get you out of my neighborhood. It all comes down to doing your job, doesn't it Roberts? Some approach it with a "what the hell" attitude and do a poor job. Other attack a job with enthusiasm -- now those are the guys you want on your side. See what I'm getting at, Roberts? SR: Well sure! Uh . . . no. Not exactly. MO: The Horsemen are getting sloppy. They have been for awhile. I put them on notice because Flare, Bodybag and Haley weren't sharp and they weren't holding their own. So they couldn't handle the cornerstone of the Horsemen wanting to leave and they decided a cheap shot at Ring Wars would take care of me. SR: Yeah and it probably would have if not for those do-gooders Casey James and Man of Steel. Those guys are always sticking their noses where... MO: I'm in an unfamiliar dilemma having to thank anyone, Roberts. But I'm much indebted to Casey James and Man of Steel for their assistance Saturday night. I have no doubt that Flare, Bodybag and Haley would have finished the job if those two had not intervened. There's only one way I know to repay that debt. SR: Yeah? You wanna let us all in on that? MO: Casey James and Man of Steel want to eliminate the Horsemen. Well I have more than a passing interest in a bit of revenge myself on those three snakes. We come from different backgrounds and our styles of wrestling are not at all similar. But Casey James, you earned my respect during our recent match that was interrupted by Haley, and I know the Man of Steel is an excellent competitor. I'm asking you two to be my partners for a six-man tag match against the Horsemen -- an opportunity to embarrass them on national television. SR: You really think you and two punks like James and Steel could beat the Horsemen? Ha! MO: I've never been more sure of anything, Roberts. Remember the work ethic -- we attack our jobs with enthusiasm. SR: Funny how you weren't too enthusiastic in the championship match at Ring Wars. MO: I said that the Subway Psycho must earn my respect in the ring. It was a fair match and I extended my hand to him afterward. He'll make a good champion. SR: Yep, life's not quite the same without the Horsemen and the IIWF world title, eh? MO: To tell you the truth, Roberts, it's better. SR: What!? MO: Look around you, L.L. Bean. This is a desert. Bodybag is the only one who understands this environment, but he's grown soft from the Horsemen lifestyle. And as for the championship belt and the money that comes with it, what use do I have for that out here? I've been liberated and with the help of Casey James and the Man of Steel, I hope to be free. SR: I hope to be free from this place now that I've gotten your comments. MO: I would suggest you leave before your lights draw every snake within a five-mile radius. SR: Snakes? MO: And by the way, your steaks are on fire. [Roberts hops into action trying to salvage his steaks, dropping one in the sand and cursing as the Outlaw turns and walks back into the darkness. Fade to black.] Dan "Flash" Kauffman Update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I promised you some big news concerning Dan "Flash" Kauffman, and here it is, straight from the horse's mouth. I paid Dan a visit in hospital as he convalesces: [As the camera comes on, Tim Dross comes in through the doors of Johns Hopkins Memorial Hospital In Washington DC. He walks up to the receptionist's desk...] Dross: Pardon me, I heard this is where Dan Kauffman is... [A middle-aged doctor walks up to Dross before the receptionist has a chance to reply...] Doctor: Tim Dross? Come with me... Dan Kauffman figured you'd come, and told me to find you if you did. [The doctor leads Dross up a flight of stairs and into a private area. In room 145, the doctor opens the door, and allows Dross and the cameraman to walk in. At first glance, the room has a genuine hospital-room look to it... and at the lone bedside, several young children stand and talk to the patient as he gives autographs a T-shirt for each of them. The kids scamper off, and Dross walks up to the bed of which Dan Kauffman currently lays. He is dressed in a white hospital garment, and bed covers come up to his chest] Kauffman: About time, Dross. [Pauses a moment] You know, I've never ridden in a medical helicopter before. Neat experience. Not one for the faint of heart, but otherwise, neat. Dross: I can safely say I've never had that experience... Kauffman: Lucky you. This is the third time I've ended up in hospital. It's got me thinking... Dross: Three times? Kauffman: Yeah, imagine that. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was cursed or something. Dross: So what's going through your head? Latta perhaps... maybe going over the match with Deathbringer... Kauffman: [Gives a faint smile] A whole bunch of things, Dross. Not all of them have to do with wrestling, either. Dross: [thinks for a second] Well, you fought with a lot of heart out there. I don't know if you know this or not, but after you were carried out of the Coloseum, almost everybody in the crowd was... Kauffman: On their feet showing respect. Been there, done that. But seriously, that was a lift, to hear those fans, even after I had lost. Dross: I bet it was. [pauses again] So when are you coming back to the IIWF? [There is a long pause, a pause during which Dross visibly considers if asking that question was a good idea or not. Then Dan replies with one simple statement] Kauffman: At this point... I don't think I am coming back. Dross: [In shocked silence] I didn't think the injuries were that bad... Kauffman: It's not the injuries. It's a lot of different things. Joe Latta turning on me, the attack against Claw... When I made my entrance for the Deathmatch, Becky LaRue hit the nail on the head... I looked focused, but I was a man in turmoil. As much as I love to wrestle, I always put myself in positions where I wind up like you see me now. Is that worth it? [pause] Dross, do you think that the injuries, the hospital stays, and the mental stress... do you think it's worth it? Be honest with me. Dross: I can't answer that. You must be the one to choose if it's right for you. Kauffman: You're right, and I knew you'd say that. [pauses again] I've got to get away from the cameras, the ring, the spotlight... I'm not leaving because I want to... I'm leaving because I NEED to... you understand, Dross? Dross: Yes, I do. Kauffman: I'm going to find myself. I don't know if I'll come back... this may be the last time you see or hear from me, Dross. And if it is, then I want to say that, regardless of what anyone says, you are a great commentator and a great person. And if I do decide to return... you will find out first... at the same time as everybody else. Dross: Then I wish you the best of luck. Kauffman: Thank you. And to all the fans out there, keep up hope. Cheer for your faves, and don't let them down... you've never let me down, I'll tell you that. [The two men shake hands in mutual admiration, and Dross walks out of the doors to the room. As the doors swing closed, the camera fades to black] I told you that the repercussions of Ring Wars will continue to be felt for many weeks and months to come - and if Dan Kauffman really chooses not to return to the rings, the IIWF, the fans and the sport as a whole will have lost one of the great performers. Dan, if you're watching - good luck. Newcomers Update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We were introduced to two new IIWF superstars on Saturday night - and the two of them immediately got into a scuffle. One of those newcomers is "The Machine" Hunter Robertson. Let's get comments from him now: [SCENE: Hunter stands in the interview area, he has a look of anger on his face.] HR: Frost, I don't know who you think you are. In fact, I don't care. You cut in on my time? You do not know what you have just put yourself in for. I am THE athlete of the future. I can do it all. You want to find out what I am all about? Bring it on big boy. You are pretty tough when you are picking on little announcers, but when I slugged it out with you, you weren't so tough. You want to make a name for yourself here? You must be looking for someone to use as a springboard to the top? Try that with me, you are going to get burned. You just messed with the wrong man. [With that, Hunter drops the mic and the camera fades to black] Woah. He's not terribly happy with Frost. But let's take a look at the Machine's stats: "THE MACHINE" HUNTER ROBERTSON Height: 6'8" Weight: 287lbs. Origin: Hopewell, Virginia Manager: none Appearance: short, close cut brown hair. five o'clock shadow, very tan. Gear similar to Bret Hart, but it is black, blue and white. Star on the butt of his gear and blue and white flames up the legs right before the knees, and on the boots. Face/Heel: Face Theme: "Sober" by Tool Five Favourite Moves: - German Suplex - Over the Shoulder Stomachbreaker (sometimes off the ropes) - Inverted DDT - Power Drop (Crucifix slam/tiger bomb combo) - Short Arm Scissors Armbreaker Submission w/ armbar/wristlock Finisher: Texas Clover Leaf [Handler: Hunter Robertson (has4hmr@cabell.vcu.edu)] This guy looks to be a very impressive athlete. We'll see him in action for the first time this weekend. His sparring partner at Ring Wars, "Frost" Scott Morrison, also looks to be a great athlete. Let's look at his stats: FROST Weight: 275lbs Height: 6'8" Origin: Hoboken, New Jersey Appearance: Tall, muscular, intense looking, and intimidating. Black tights, boots. Black hair, green eyes. Theme Music: "Enter Sandman" Mettalica Orientation: Heel 5 Favorite Moves: Tilt-A-Whirl Powerbomb Brainbuster Flying clothesline Wing-bridge suplex: Frost gets opponent in a cross-face chicken-wing, then turns it into a German suplex! Texas Clover-Leaf Finishing Move: Ice Breaker (double hand chokeslam) [Handler: Matt Kauffman (skauff@bigdog.fred.net)] Let's get comments from this big man: [SCENE: "Frost" Scott Morrison sits in his private gym, located in the basement of his home. The sparsely decorated room is filled to its edges with weights, barbells, and other paraphanelia. Frost finishes his final reps with the bar and lets all 350 lbs. of it back onto the rack. He sits up and speaks:] "Well, wasn't Ring wars interesting? A bunch of matches filled with losers noone cares about. Commentary featuring witless morons trying to keep up with matches and translate them so the crowd could understand. And then there's "The Machine". What the f--- do you think you were doing trying to get in _my_ interview! And then you actually had the gall to attack me. Big mistake! I'm not through with you, Robertson! When I'm done with you, little man, they'll call you "Spare Parts" Hunter Robinson. I hope you like the group "Rage Against The Machine," little man. I'm gonna _RAGE_ all over you. "And as for the rest of the pathetic wimps trying to pass themselves off as `wrestlers', consider this a warning. I will stampede through the ranks of the IIWF.. I am the greatest wrestler this league has ever seen. Get out of my way, or prepare to get run over. My only concern is winning, and win I will. I accept any challenges, but if you're stupid enough to face me, then bring your own ambulance... you'll need it." [Fade] Wow. If he fights as hard as he talks, this guy is really going to be a force to be reckoned with here in the IIWF. Guess we'll find out soon enough. A new tag team is also set to join the ranks here in the IIWF - known as the Armed Forces: THE ARMED FORCES Wrestler: NavCom DefCon Weight: 281lbs 362lbs Height: 6'4" 6'8" Origin: Omaha, NE Omaha, NE Theme Music: Machine Gun Noises Ambulance Sirens Manager: Aaron the Caddy, who carries a golf bag full of clubs to ringside. Aaron will interfere in matches, but never to get his team DQ'd. Appearance: NavCom wears green tights and a naval commander's hat to the ring. He wrestles w/o the hat. He is caucasian with brown hair. DefCon wears black trunks and an army hat. He is a military control room general. He has dark, slicked back hair. Orientation: Heel 5 Moves: European Uppercut Chokeslam Flying Clothesline Body Slam DDT Piledriver Abdominal Stretch Backhand Chop Back Body Drop Leg Drop Finishing Move: NavCom: AK47 (Big Splash off top) DefCon: ICBM (InterContinental Ballistic Missile) (Power Bomb) Profiles: NavCom is a smart high flying technician who is good at distracting the referee. DefCon likes to get in there and brawl. DefCon uses lots of big power moves, while NavCom likes CALCULATED risks. NavCom doesn't go for big moves early and cost the team the match. Finisher: DefCon lifts up opponent and tags NavCom. DefCon delivers the ICBM (Power Bomb), and NavCom flies off the top with the AK47 (Big Splash) for the pin. This is only used when set up well. Otherwise, if one man hits his finisher, he'll go for the pin. [Handlers: Nathan Novak - NavCom (nnovak@pluggers.esu8.k12.ne.us) Eric Anderson - DefCon (lnewton@pluggers.esu8.k12.ne.us)] Let's hear from them, and their manager, Aaron the Caddy: [SCENE: the Omaha Civic Auditorium. Aaron the Caddy is standing near the ring, watching NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, spar with two jobbers.) Aaron: Man, these guys are awesome. NavCom is so quick, DefCon's so strong...we can win it all! [In the ring, DefCon has gotten his man on his shoulder, and has tagged to NavCom, who is going to the top.] Aaron: Look at the teamwork!!! [DefCon delivers a power bomb.] Aaron: He calls that the Inter Continental Ballistic Missile!!! Now watch this!! The AK47!!! [NavCom delivers a big splash from the top. Cover - 1 - 2 - 3!] Aaron: Bravo, bravo. So, who do you want me to set a match against for you guys? DefCon: High Velocity... or is that the Atomic Destroyers? NavCom: United Nations. Aaron: OK, first DefCon, why do you want Atomic Velocity? DefCon: They blow. We're so big, so strong, so fast, so smart...we can kill them. We work so well as a team...I just think that this would be one step toward the World Tag Team Belts... NavCom: The United Nations...as military guys, we're paid to take out other countries...here we get 2 countries with one stone...France and Japan!!! And, they suck!!! We will easily waltz through them!!! Aaron: OK, I'll try to get either, or both, of them for the next card. Did you all hear the comments? High Velocity, United Nations, we're after ya!!! You got the balls for a match with these studs??? I doubt it!! Come and get it, PUSSIES!!! [Fade] Well, their pleas haven't gone unanswered - Kangaroo Carlysle, the manager of the United Nations, has signed his boys up for a match with the Armed Forces live this Saturday night! Rankings ~~~~~~~~ Right now it's time to take a look at those all-new rankings, including the matches we saw at the weekend. Here goes: --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name F/H Fought Won Drawn Lost Ranking --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Subway Psycho F 7 6 0 1 WC Tiger Claw H 7 5 0 2 IC --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dan Kauffman F 9 6 1 2 1 Outlaw H 8 6 0 2 2 Deathbringer N 8 4 2 2 3 Billy Shakespeare F 6 4 0 2 4 Hakiro Matsuoko F 7 4 0 3 5 Brad Kinder H 6 3 0 3 6 Casey James F 7 3 1 3 7 Joe Latta F 5 3 0 2 8= Tony Starks N 5 3 0 2 8= Prince of Darkness H 4 2 1 1 10= Venusian Death Cell H 4 2 1 1 10= Crippler H 3 2 0 1 12 Blackjack Haley H 6 2 1 3 13 Man Of Steel F 5 2 0 3 14 Moondust H 7 2 1 4 15 Flare H 6 2 0 4 16 Fisto Flash H 3 1 0 2 17 Simon Lebec F 4 1 0 3 18= Don Antonio N 4 1 0 3 18= Robski H 5 1 0 4 20 Frost H - - - - - Magus H - - - - - Hunter Robertson F - - - - - --------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name of team F/H Fought Won Drawn Loss Ranking --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rising Sun Revolution F 4 4 0 0 WT --------------------------------------------------------------------------- High Plains Drifters H 5 4 0 1 1 Alphabet Boys H 4 3 0 1 2 Stunt Team USA F 5 3 0 2 3 The Returners F 3 2 0 1 4 Steamroller H 4 2 0 2 5 High Velocity F 4 1 0 3 6= United Nations F 4 1 0 3 6= The Armed Forces H - - - - - --------------------------------------------------------------------------- IIWF Saturday Night - 6 July 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Without even a moment to catch our breaths, we're going to be coming back at you live this Saturday from the Coliseum with another storming evening's entertainment. Let's have a look at the matches signed so far: - "Hunter" Machine Robertson vs. [Jobber] - "Frost" Scott Morrison vs. [Jobber] - The Armed Forces vs. The United Nations I can also reveal that the new IIWF Champion, the Subway Psycho, will make his first defence against the Crippler, and the new Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw, will be in action. More matches will be announced later in the week, and I'll run down the card in more detail in Friday's report. Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ Speaking of Friday's report, that just about wraps it up for me today. There's no Midweek Mayhem this week - the wrestlers get the night off to lick the wounds sustained at Ring Wars, but there'll be more live action as usual next Wednesday. Of course, IIWF Saturday Night goes ahead as usual this weekend. I'll be back on Friday with more news, comments and updates from the IIWF superstars, and in my Dross Report, I'll be looking at a pertinent issue of great importance! So don't miss any of the great IIWF action coming your way. Until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+