##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * Rose Bowl, Pasadena, CA * 20 July 1996 [Opening graphics fade through to aerial shots of Pasadena and some generic footage of sun-drenched Californian surf and sand. Cut to shot of the Rose Bowl, cast in silhouette by a dazzling sunset, throwing golden hues onto the huge stadium. Even from outside, the cheers of the throng inside can be heard. Zoom towards the exterior wall, then pan upwards and into the huge outdoor stadium. Zoom over the crowd as spotlights mounted on the floor around the ringside area cast beams up into the darkening sky. Fireworks erupt above the ring as the camera comes to rest on the announcers' table in the ringside enclosure. "Soundbite" Steve Roberts stands next to a bruised Tim Dross, who is wearing a neck brace and has his right arm in a sling.] TD: Welcome everybody to the Pasadena Rose Bowl! Welcome everybody to another evening of entertainment from the revolutionary force in wrestling! And welcome everybody to IIWF Saturday Night! I'm Tim Dross, and with me, as always, is "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. Wow, Steve, what a rush to be here in California! SR: Yeah, I guess it must be a bit of a culture shock for a yokel like you who lives out in the back of beyond. Never seen a city before, huh, Dross? By the way -- nice sling. [sniggers] TD: I'll ignore those remarks, Steve. Just look at these fans! There's got to be more than a hundred thousand in attendance here tonight. SR: And every one of them is laughing at you, Dross. TD: That's not nice, Steve. But I don't care because I'm just so excited to be here in the Rose Bowl! And what a night of action we've got lined up. Tonight's main event is a Third Rail Match between the Subway Psycho and Joe Latta. SR: We're going to see the Stinker fried like a burger on a beach barbecue. And I have a feeling that tonight is going to be the last time we see the sewer rat with the IIWF gold around his waist. TD: Well, the IIWF President is on hand tonight, and I understand that there will be an announcement concerning the tenure of the Subway Psycho as IIWF Champion, but primarily, President Dan is here tonight to ensure that things don't get out of hand like they did last Saturday night. I am walking proof that things really have been in a downward spiral here in the IIWF. SR: Too right. Why the hell didn't the Venusian Death Cell break your legs? TD: [ignoring him] We'll also see the first appearance of the Dark Knights in six-man tag team action. The Sandman's certainly caused quite a stir already here in the IIWF, and he's been joined by Brad "Bodybag" Kinder and the Phantom - with the threat of more to come, apparently. Any ideas about who else is going to join the Knights, Steve? SR: Of course. [Dross looks expectantly at Roberts, who looks around the arena, silent. After a while, Dross gives a little shrug and continues.] TD: Plus the Outlaw will be facing Tony Starks, and Fisto Flash makes his first appearance since his reinstatement as he battles Robski. We've also got more tag team tournament action, and the Punster will be here, as will Billy Shakespeare... Not to mention that we've already seen several matches here before we came on air. Let's run down the results: - "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER defeated "NIFTY" NED NORTON [J] by pinfall with his Nuclear War top rope powerslam. The crowd really got into this encounter, and gave Bomber a great reception. - "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON broke his duck with a victory over MR. DAMAGE, causing him to submit with his armbar submission. Sexton looked to be in a foul mood during this match, and although Damage put up a good fight, he couldn't contain the rage of the Painbringer. - STUNT TEAM USA defeated the GUIDING LIGHTS in a very hard-fought match. Cody Cassell, the Lights' manager, was almost the decisive presence at ringside, continually interfering in the course of the match, often causing Ron and Steve to blow their timing. However, in the end, Nate Lawson became the victim of the Fire and Forget, and the Guiding Lights' undefeated streak was ended. - THE AMERICAN HEROES, Casey James and the Man Of Steel, really got the crowd going with a quick victory over the ROTUNDOS [J]. The match was over in less than five minutes, Casey powerslamming one of his overweight opponents with the Hammer of Justice, and Man Of Steel finished the job with a Doomsday powerbomb. They celebrated with the fans in the ring, waving ol' glory like there was no tomorrow! It was great, wasn't it, Steve? SR: The American Bozos had better enjoy that victory while it lasts, because it's the last taste they're going to get here in the IIWF. They want to form an alliance to go up against all the rulebreakers here in the IIWF?! Who the hell's going to want to work with those two losers?! TD: Steve, that's not true at all. You couldn't wish for a more honest and upstanding pair than the American _Heroes_. And what's more, the Family seem to be fairly keen on joining their ranks. Let's show the fans what happened just a few moments ago: [Cut to a video replay of the American Heroes' celebrations in the ring. Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola head down to the ring, led by their manager, Salvatore Fiorello. The Heroes look on uncertainly as the Don climbs the steps with his Family and motions for the ring announcer's microphone. He speaks:] DON: American Heroes - we, the Antonio Family, Salvatore Fiorello our manager, Vinny Cappicola my right hand man, and I, Don Antonio, hear your cry for us to band together. I know that in the past my organization has been shady, but as I stated a few weeks ago, Salvatore Fiorello has shown me the light. He has shown me that something must be done to stop the evil forces in the IIWF. I say tonight, American Heroes, that we would like to join forces with you gentlemen to defend the fans and honor of the IIWF. [Don and Vinny lean over to shake hands with the American Heroes. Casey and Steel look out into the crowd, who encourage them to accept the gesture. They do so, and the five of them leave the ring together to the strains of "Yankee Doodle Dandy". Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: How about that, Steve? The Family joining forces with the American Heroes. The fans certainly seemed to like the idea. SR: These morons don't know anything, Dross. I wash my hands of them all. TD: Well, Sparkplug Lee has taken to the ring, so let's go up to him for the introductions in our first live match. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF World Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: Alphabet Boys vs. High Plains Drifters _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [The ring announcer is illuminated by a huge lighting rig suspended high above the ring. He clutches his microphone and speaks.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is round five in the IIWF World Tag Team Championship Tournament. Introducing first, coming down the aisle, accompanied by the "Outlaw" Josey Wales, weighing in at a combined weight of 502lbs, here are Pale Rider and Easy Rider: the High Plains Drifters! [Mixed pop for the Drifters as they emerge from the tunnel and head out to the ring down the aisle. Wales follows close behind, chomping on a cigar.] RA: And their opponents, coming down the aisle, hailing from parts unknown, and weighing in at 589lbs, here are Abie and Zed: the Alphabet Boys! [Surprisingly face pop for the Alphabet Boys as they emerge from the tunnel to the strains of the "Alphabet Song". Several fans on the aisle are holding up Mr. Potato Head posters, and Abie goes up to each and strokes it lovingly. He is dragged away by Zed, who slaps him and explains that they have to wrestle the Drifters. Abie looks like a veil has just been lifted from his eyes and charges at the ring, hitting it like a hurricane and ejecting Pale and Easy with big clotheslines. As the Drifters hit the floor, Abie lies on his back in the middle of the ring and kicks his arms and legs around. The crowd pop.] SR: Good to see that these guys are as unhinged as ever. [Zed takes his place in his corner while Abie completes his exercises. Josey Wales gets his men together and instructs Pale Rider to get back in there. Pale tries to drop an elbow on Abie, but he rolls out of the way. He stands and sticks his tongue out at Pale, who charges him. Again, Abie steps out of the way and sticks his tongue out. Pale charges at Abie for a third time, and Abie side-steps, executing a drop toe-hold on Pale as he goes by. Abie sits on Pale's back and gives Zed a toothy grin. Zed yells for Abie to get back to work on Pale, but Abie apparently doesn't hear him, getting up and wandering over to the corner with a quizzical look on his face. Zed gives Abie a clout with a hard right-hand, and Abie spins round with the force of the blow. He staggers forwards and is met by a charging Pale Rider, who clotheslines Abie to the mat. He goes for the cover - 1 - kick out!] TD: If only the Alphabet Boys could concentrate on the matter in hand, they'd be an even more formidable team than they already are. SR: You miss the point, Dross. They've got one of the most important things in the world on their side: the element of surprise. Nobody - not even Abie and Zed themselves - knows what the Alphabet Boys are gonna do next. Hey, they might even come over here and give you another beating. TD: [shudders] Please, no. I've seen enough of hospitals this week. SR: Hang on, I've had a thought, Dross. When you got chokeslammed by the Venusian Death Cell last week, how come your toupee didn't come off? [Pale drags Abie to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He hits with a reverse savate kick as he comes back towards him, and Abie goes down. Pale tags in Easy, who stomps on Abie and drags him to his feet. He nails him in the mid-section, and Abie doubles over. He executes a DDT on Abie, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] [Abie slowly gets to his feet, Easy hanging on to his mask all the while. Abie drives an elbow into Easy's midsection, and then headbutts him. He grabs Easy by the neck in a blatant chokehold. Easy goes down to the mat in agony as the referee begins the count - 1 - ] TD: That throat of Easy's is still vulnerable from the attack at Ring Wars... this has got to put Easy Rider into a whole new world of hurt. [The count continues - 2 - 3 - 4 - Abie breaks the hold. He looks innocently at the referee, and then reapplies the hold. Again the referee counts - 1 - 2 - 3 - "Outlaw" Josey Wales gets up onto the apron to remonstrate with the referee, and Pale Rider uses the opportunity to fly into the ring and kick Abie in the head. This prompts Zed to also enter the ring, and Zed dropkicks Pale Rider through the ropes and to the outside. The referee shepherds Zed back into his corner, while Abie and Easy lie in the centre of the ring. The referee begins the count on both men - 1 - 2 - 3 - ] TD: Both Abie and Easy need to make the tag right now. It looks like Abie's stirring first. [ - 4 - Abie gets to his knees and begins hitting himself in the temple, as if to knock some sense in. He shakes his head violently, and then stops and blinks, as if waiting for the world to stop spinning. As Easy Rider also stirs, Abie stumbles towards his corner and makes the tag to Zed. Pop. Easy lunges at Pale Rider, who has made his way back to the apron, and also makes the tag. Easy rolls off the apron, still clutching his throat, while Pale and Zed go at it in the ring. Suddenly, the attention of the crowd is diverted by the appearance of the Senator and the Atomic Destroyers at the head of the aisle. They slowly saunter towards ringside amidst the jeers of the fans.] TD: No! Why can't these guys keep their noses out of the Drifters' business? SR: What do you suggest the Posse do if they can't take the heat? Get a restraining order?! The Posse asked for a war, and they've got one. The next battle's just about to begin. [Zed and Pale continue to slug it out in the ring as the Senator and his men arrive at ringside. Josey Wales, still tending to the winded Easy, is unaware of their presence until he is kicked in the head from behind by Larn. Steroid untapes his wrists and wraps it round Easy's neck, choking him. Meanwhile, Pale Rider realises what has happened outside the ring and gives Zed one final punch, knocking him over, before diving through the ropes and starting to beat on the Atomic Destroyers, removing the tape from Easy's neck and knocking Larn and Steroid's heads together. The referee starts counting Pale Rider out as Zed sits in the ring and rubs his head. Abie joins him and the two sit in the centre of the squared circle, playing patticake. As the chaos continues outside, the count continues - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding! Hardly anybody notices the match ending as the Drifters and the Destroyers continue to go at it around the ring.] RA: Here are your winners, by countout: the Alphabet Boys! [Inside the ring, the ABoys' game of patticake degenerates, as Abie slaps Zed round the face and then dashes out of the ring up the aisle. Zed takes off in hot pursuit, and as Abie looks round behind him, he sees Zed gaining on him, so vaults the crowd barrier and barges his way through the crowd. Zed follows, swiftly getting out of the way of the security personnel who are dashing down to ringside to separate the two teams.] SR: What a smart move this attack was on the part of the Senator, Dross. The Drifters had won both of their previous two tournament matches, and they were well on the way to defeating the Alphabet Boys here üüüüüüüüüüüüüü TD: [interrupting] I hardly think that's necessarily the case. SR: Will you quit interrupting me, Dross? Anyway, as I was saying, the Drifters would have beaten the Alphabet Boys here tonight, which would have put them 3-0 up, which would leave only their match with the Destroyers left to fight. The Destroyers have only fought one of their tournament matches so far, and if they're going to come out of this with the gold, as I'm sure they will, they're going to have to put all the other teams out. [Pause] It's okay, I'm finished, Dross. TD: Thank heavens. Well, while you were jabbering away, security have managed to separate the two teams and get them back to the locker room area. I wonder whether the rivalry between the Drifters and the Destroyers will ever die down? SR: Not until one of them is out of the IIWF for good, Dross. TD: That's a sobering thought. Now let's get backstage to hear from my broadcast colleague, Larry Morton. What's up, Larry? [Cut to the backstage area. Morton stands outside a closed locker room door.] LM: Well, Tim, I've heard some interesting rumours about what's been going on back here this evening, concerning one Tony Starks. He was seen talking to an unsavoury looking character earlier on tonight in a corner of the arena, and witnesses claim that there was some kind of transaction going on. TD: [voice over] What kind of transaction, Larry? LM: It's hard to say, Tim. But as far as I can make out from talking to people who saw what happened, Starks told this guy to go take a hike. Which would be fair enough, but the story doesn't end there. Later on, the same man was seen hanging around other locker rooms in the backstage area, apparently awaiting the arrival of somebody. TD: Any ideas who that might have been? LM: Not really. He was spotted in the area of the locker rooms of athletes like Fisto Flash, Simon Lebec and Robski. He could have been waiting for anybody. But right now, I want to get a word from Starks himself. I'm standing outside his locker room. Let's see if he's in. [Larry turns and knocks on the door. No answer. He knocks again. Still no answer.] Well, I'll stay here and keep trying. If I hear anything, I'll report back later on. Now back to you at ringside. [Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: That's certainly very curious, Steve. SR: Is it? That no-good Starks was probably drug-running, or something. TD: Now you've got _no_ reason to infer some kind of criminal activity like that on Starks! SR: Infer? Who's inferring? Everybody knows that Starks is a New Yorker, and they're _all_ criminals. TD: Let me just make it clear that the opinions of Steve Roberts are by no means the opinions of the IIWF itself. Right, it's time for our next matchup. Sparkplug, it's over to you. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ The Punster vs. Blackjack Haley _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: The following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Baroda, Michigan, weighing in at 325lbs, here is: Blackjack Haley! [Big heel pop for Haley as he emerges from the tunnel. He stands at the top of the aisle, puts his arms akimbo, looks out into the huge sea of faces, and shakes his head in derision. Some fans nearby throw a balled-up cup at him, and he turns towards them, his eyes growing large in anger. He raises a fist to them, but seems to think better of it and heads down to the ring.] TD: Blackjack Haley's really been on a roll as of late here in the IIWF. He destroyed Poco Seguente in midweek and sent the poor guy to the hospital. Last week, in the Fleet Centre, he practically took Phantom apart. I'm not sure the Punster knows quite what he's in for in this one. SR: You're damned right he doesn't. I'm telling you, Dross, I've been hanging out in the locker room with Haley, and he's a different guy since the Horsemen split up. You might think that he was a rookie, you might think he didn't know which way's up and which way's down, but the guy's one of the greatest competitors here in the IIWF. And what's more, he really knows how to hurt a guy. TD: Which is why you like him so much, right? SR: You betcha. TD: You're disgusting. RA: And introducing his opponent: coming down the aisle, from Atlanta, Georgia, and weighing in at 257lbs, here is: the Punster! [Pretty good face pop for the Punster, who jogs out into the arena, clutching an Olympic torch in one hand. He is wearing his mask, but his characteristic goatee and black hair are still apparent. With his free hand, he hi-fives the fans on his way down to the ring.] TD: I guess the Punster's proud that the Olympic games are being held in his hometown! SR: Atlanta's a hole, Dross. From what I hear, they've not even finished building the stadiums yet - and the games began yesterday. TD: By the looks of things, we're going to see a few games here tonight. The Punster had better be careful in there - he doesn't want to rile up the big guy any more than he has to. Haley's got the worst temper in the IIWF. [The Punster enters the ring and circles Haley, who stands in the middle of the ring, having his boots checked by the referee. The Punster signals to the crowd to be quiet, and sneaks up behind Haley, holding the torch underneath Haley's backside. Big pop as a sooty deposit appears on Haley's tights, and Haley leaps forward as he is heated from behind. The Punster stands, waves at Haley, and blows his torch out. Haley charges, and nearly takes the Punster's head off with a clothesline. Big heel pop.] TD: I guess the Punster sure... SR: [interrupting] Don't say it, Dross! Don't! I'm warning you! TD: Don't say what? That the Punster knows how to light a fire under Haley's butt? SR: [groans] Right, that's it, I'm throwing you to the Venusian Death Cell again. TD: [uncomfortable] Let's not talk about that, Steve. [Haley chokes the Punster. The referee makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3 - Haley releases his grip. The Punster drags himself up to his knees, but is kicked in the midsection by Haley. He slumps, his arms and neck over the second rope. Haley runs across the ring, bounces off the opposite ropes, and charges back at the Punster, launching himself and sitting on the Punster's back, forcing his throat into the ropes. He gets off the Punster and runs across the ring in a repeat attempt, but the Punster pulls himself off the ropes, and Haley becomes tangled in the ropes, his leg becoming trapped between the bottom two ropes and his torso tumbling out of the ring, trussed upside down from the apron. Big pop. A chant of "Pun - ster! Pun - ster!" starts up in the crowd, and the Punster gets to his feet. The referee begins to count Haley out as the giant flails, trying to untangle his leg. The Punster gets to his feet and leaves the ring, nailing Haley in the midsection with a number of kicks and punches. Haley swipes at the Punster, but he dodges out of the way of each huge swing. The Punster even stands on his head and mocks Haley. Big pop.] TD: Well, Steve, you can't deny that the Punster's got a great sense of humour! SR: Can't I?! This guy isn't funny. The only thing that's going to be funny about the Punster is when his brains are spilled all over the mat once Haley's finished with him. Come on, Jack, get out of there. [The Punster leans up against the apron, just out of Haley's reach, as the giant continues to flail and try to free himself. Punster looks to the referee, and signals for him to free the giant's leg. The referee steps in and untangles Haley, who has become quite dizzy by all the blood running to his head. He tries to get to his feet, and swipes at the Punster again, but he misses and falls to one knee. The Punster takes advantage of Haley's incapacitation, nailing him with a hard right hand, and then a running clothesline. Big pop as Haley goes down hard.] TD: That was the Pun-ch line! Haley's going to be out after that! The Punster's only got to get back into the ring and the giant will be counted out... SR: But the moron's not smart enough to do that, Dross. Look, he's trying to get Haley back into the ring. [The Punster drags Haley to his feet and rolls him into the ring under the bottom rope before leaping to the apron himself. He catapults himself over the top rope and splashes Haley as he lands, then goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] SR: See what I mean, Dross? The Punster wasted too much time, and he's gonna pay the price now. [Haley gets to his feet, his face red partly due to the blood still not having run out of it, and partly due to his growing ire. Punster tries to slow him down with hard right hands, but Haley just shakes them off, and gets to his feet. He nails the Punster in the midsection with a hard kick, and then picks him up for a towering bodyslam. The Punster hits the mat hard, and Haley drops an elbow on him, before reapplying his choke.] SR: Now you see, Dross - you can throw everything you've got at Haley, but he's tougher than steel. He'll just come right back at you. The Punster should have left him outside the ring - he's going to pay for it now. TD: You could be right. But if Haley doesn't release that chokehold, he's going to be disqualified. The referee's counted three - four... [Haley finally breaks the hold. The Punster clutches at his throat and rolls into the centre of the ring. Haley picks him up and sits him on the top turnbuckle. He climbs to the second buckle, and suplexes the Punster into the ring, but as the two men fly backwards, the Punster shifts his weight so that he lands on top of the winded Haley. He hooks Haley's legs and gets the cover - 1 - 2 -- kick out by the narrowest of margins!] TD: He got him! No -- no, he didn't! But, wow, that was close! Out of nowhere from the Punster! [Now Haley is really riled up, and flies off the handle, attacking the Punster with huge kicks and punches. He whips him into the ropes and hits his running side-suplex on the Punster. Haley covers - 1 - 2 - kick out! Haley picks him up again and hoists him up onto his shoulders for an airplane spin. The crowd give a big heel pop as the Punster is spun around and around. Eventually, Haley lets the Punster down, and the witty wordsmith stumbles forwards. Haley pounces, and traps the Punster in his full nelson, lifting him from the mat and spinning him around. After a few revolutions, he stops, and the referee is able to ask if the Punster wants to submit, and the agonised athlete agrees. Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by submission: Blackjack Haley! [Haley, in his anger, refuses to release the full nelson, despite continued orders from the referee, who starts counting him out - 1 - 2 - 3 - Haley starts to spin again - 4 - 5 - 6 - the crowd are popping at Haley - 7 - 8 - 9 - Haley drops the Punster to the canvas and accepts the admonishment of the referee for a few moments, but then raises a fist to the official, who rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope. Haley goes back to stomping on the Punster. The timekeeper rings his bell repeatedly to alert others to the attack.] TD: Another despicable display by Haley! He's not just content with beating the Punster - now he wants to destroy him! We need some help out here! SR: Haley's got two of the most dangerous attributes a wrestler can have: a bad temper, and a killer instinct. The Punster should have left his crazy tricks back with those drug-taking athletes in Atlanta, and he wouldn't be in this mess now. [Suddenly, the crowd give a huge pop as "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare charges down the aisle. He hits the ring and charges Haley, knocking him from the ring with a flying dropkick. He stands guard over the Punster while Haley, even more incensed, beats his fist on the steel ring steps. The referee gingerly tries to force Haley away from ringside, and he backs up the aisle, pointing threats at Shakespeare, who smiles and bows to him. As Haley disappears back into the tunnel, Shakespeare helps the Punster to his feet. The Punster is shaken, but not injured. He accepts Billy's support, and "Beat Our Guest" blares out over the PA as the pair head back towards the locker room area to a big pop.] TD: Have we seen the beginning of a new friendship here tonight, Steve? SR: Agh! That Pukespeare just makes me sick! That moron comes out here every week and gets in the way. I wish I could get back into the ring and take that guy out. In fact, even with my back injury, I could probably get in there and still beat Pukespeare with a single finger. He's a no-talent, no-brain moron. Him and the Pukester are perfect for one another: the Puke Twins are born. TD: Calm down, Steve! Geez, I think you need to get a greater appreciation of fine literature. I've always found with Shakespeare that "Hen... SR: [interrupting, almost shouting] You just don't get it, do you, Dross?! Who really gives a damn about those cheap cabaret acts?! If I'm looking for real literature, I'll read the TV guide, and if I'm looking for drama, I'll watch the damned TV. Okay?! Wrestlers are out here to fight, not to pose around and bow at their opponents. I wanna see broken bones, not forgotten lines. Okay?! TD: [pauses, uncertain] Er... Sure. Forget I said anything. Although you might want to take some of your own advice and cut down on the caffiene, Steve. Moving on... up next we're going to see the first in-ring appearance of the Dark Knights, the newest stable here in the IIWF, headed up by the mysterious Sandman. You'll remember back to last Saturday Night when we had that strange interruption [footage of the lights dropping and the eyes appearing on the video wall] from an individual who we assumed to have something to do with Deathbringer. Then, a few nights ago on Midweek Mayhem, a strange figure appeared at the head of the aisle at the start of a match, and the two guys in the ring were completely knocked out by what Becky LaRue rightly identified as "sleepy dust" [footage rolls of the incident]. Now we know that both of these interruptions were the work of the Sandman, and that he's convinced some already established stars of the IIWF to join his new group, the Dark Knights. Well, right now, we're going to see the Sandman team up with his stablemates, the Phantom and Brad "Bodybag" Kinder, in six-man tag action. Er... what do you think of these guys, Steve? SR: [still fuming] I hate him. Who gives a crap about Shakespeare anyway?! TD: Ah, I see... well, let's go back up to the ring for the introductions in this one. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Sandman, Phantom & Brad "Bodybag" Kinder vs. Deja Vu & Majestic Maurice McArthur _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following special six-man tag attraction is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, at a combined weight of 832lbs, here are Ben Dare and Don Thatt, Deja Vu; and their partner, Majestic Maurice McArthur. [No crowd reaction for the three lackeys who stand in the ring. Suddenly, the crowd gives an excited buzz as the lights drop and a single spotlight illuminates the head of the aisle. Three figures appear in the spotlight and begin making their way towards the ring to the strains of "Mr. Sandman". The crowd give a good heel pop.] RA: And their opponents, coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 856lbs, here are the Sandman, Phantom and Brad "Bodybag" Kinder: the Dark Knights! [The Knights enter the ring, and immediately set about their opponents, all six men in the ring at once. They pound on them with kicks and punches. Kinder whips Thatt into the ropes and hits him with a spinebuster, while Phantom powerbombs Triple M, and the Sandman knocks Dare to the canvas with a flying lariat. The referee attempts to remove two of the Knights from the ring, but they refuse to leave. They raise their arms to the crowd, who give a big heel pop. Each man drags their respective victims to his feet. Phantom nails his opponent in the face and takes him down to the canvas. He applies the Scorpion Deathlock on McArthur. Kinder whips Thatt into the ropes again and sends him spinning through 360degrees with a lariat. The Sandman watches the carnage, then points to his "sleeper" tattoo before applying the Nightmare modified chokeslam on his opponent. He and Kinder cover their men at the same time, and the referee, bewildered, counts - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here are your winners: the Dark Knights! TD: Well, that was mercifully quick. I don't think they even broke a sweat. SR: These guys are dangerous, Dross. With the experience of Kinder, the technical know-how of the Sandman, and the pure brawling power of the Phantom, these guys are going to be a force to be reckoned with here in the IIWF. [Big heel pop as the Knights stand above the carcasses of their opponents with their hands raised high. They kick the fallen trio out of the ring under the bottom rope, and the Sandman signals to the ring announcer that he wants the microphone. He takes the mic and stands in the centre of the ring.] SANDMAN: Now that the IIWF has gotten a little taste of what we are capable of, how about a big bite? I will start my main course with the "Family" of the IIWF. The one in particular is... Don Antonio. You remind me of a dog at the pound who's about to be put to SLEEP. Just plain dumb and unaware of the hell that awaits. You see, Don, you're still dreaming that you're a wrestler and it's time that I crush those dreams! Wake up to reality, face the facts, I am your worst KNIGHTMARE! PHANTOM: Don, you are nothing and have never been anything. And soon we will all prove that to this fed. All I want to say is this: once we get the ball rolling, there's no way to stop it. Our plans will be a chain reaction that will disrupt the entire fed and change the course of history for many wrestlers. BK: I've got something to say to Lau, Tiger Claw and the rest of the Syndicate: what you just saw here was an example of how powerful we are in this league. You can't run, you can't hide, you'll just have to take the beating I'm going to give you. You both showed how afraid you are when you wouldn't finish your battle with me Wednesday at the Silverdome. You damn well know that I'm the better man and the better wrestler, and I'm going to take that title from you this Wednesday. As for the Knights, let the destruction and DARKNESS begin... [Kinder throws down the microphone, and the three men raise their arms to the crowd once more, before leaving the ring to a big heel pop. They abuse the fans around ringside and the aisle as they make their way back to the locker room area.] TD: They're a bold lot, aren't they, Steve? I mean, going straight for the Family isn't necessarily the smartest move. SR: You're kidding, right?! The Don and his goons couldn't even lace up the Knights' boots. He's going to get the wrestling lesson of his life -- if he's even brave enough to step into the ring against the Sandman. TD: I don't think the Don's ever backed down from a challenge, and I don't think he's about to start now. Up next, we're going to see Fisto Flash hit the ring for the first time since his suspension. Do you think we're going to see a different Fisto here tonight, Steve? SR: You bet, Dross. I was speaking with Fisto and Robo Stone before the show tonight, and Robo told me to be prepared to see carnage like you've never seen when his boy Fisto gets in the ring with that hoodlum Robski. Flash is gonna take that British bum apart. TD: Well, we'll see about that. I must confess that I really don't like either of these guys one little bit. SR: You've got no taste, Dross, that's your problem. Well, that and the male pattern baldness too, of course. TD: Will you please leave my hair out of this?! I hear that Larry Morton is with Tony Starks backstage. Over to you, Larry. [Cut to the locker room of Tony Starks. Starks stands with Larry Morton.] LM: Thanks, Tim. I finally persuaded Tony to let me in for a few quick words. Tony - how do you feel about your current form? TS: Tony Starks is making his way back up to the top again. I have learned from my previous mistakes, and I have vowed never to be taken down by them again. Tonight, I am getting in the ring with an old friend: the Masked Outlaw. A lot of things have changed since the last time we met. You don't have the title, you don't have a girl to save you. I am not cocky, I am cool, calm and collected, and ready to take you out. Remember, I said `what you do comes back three fold on you?' It is time to pay up, Outlaw. You are way overdue. [smirk] You did get one thing right, I remember you saying that a dark spirit was after you. You thought that it was the Psycho? Wrong. That dark spirit is me. I have caught up with you again, and this time, the outcome will be different. Outlaw, you better be ready, this time, there is no doubt that I am... [Starks' cell phone rings while he is talking, he goes to pick it up.] TS: This is Starks, go... Yeah, what do you want? [Pause. Larry looks on with interest.] TS: I told you a long time ago, I am done with you. You got it? Our business is done. I am my own man now. Go find someone else. [Starks hangs up and shakes his head. Larry turns to him once more.] LM: Tony... would that phone call have had anything to do with the stranger we saw you talking to earlier on tonight? TS: [angry] What? You don't know anything about it, Morton. I'm not going to talk about it. This interview's over. Get out! Get out! [Starks pushes Morton out of the locker room and slams the door once more.] LM: [flustered] Well, I suppose we're no further forward. But now we know for a fact that _something_ is going on. The question is: what? Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Thanks, Larry. I'm not even going to ask you what you think about all that, Steve, since we're running behind enough as it is. Let's go up to the ring. SR: [sarcastically] Gee, thanks, Dross. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Fisto Flash vs. Robski _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Sparkplug Lee steps between the ropes and takes to the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Birmingham, England, weighing in at 335lbs, accompanied to the ring by his promoter, Max Clifford, and his girlfriend, Jasmine, here is: Robski! [Big heel pop as Robski appears at the head of the aisle. Jasmine walks in front of him waving a Union flag. Clifford brings up the rear. As the trio reaches the ring, Robski grabs the flag and kisses it before entering the squared circle.] SR: What a patriot! Robski is so proud of England. Okay, so they might not have won the football, and, okay, so they may not have won Wimbledon, and, okay, they're not going to get any medals in the Olympics, but at least England has a wrestling superstar they can be proud of! TD: Really? Who's that? SR: Robski, of course, you idiot! TD: Oh, sorry. I thought you said that England has a wrestler "it can be _proud_ of", not "_ashamed_ of". My mistake. SR: It sure is. But it's my mistake to put up with you, Dross. RA: And introducing his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his manager Robo Stone, hailing from Brooklyn, New York, and weighing in at 305lbs, here is: Fisto Flash! ["Eye of the Tiger" blasts out across the Rose Bowl as Fisto and Stone appear at the head of the aisle and make their way towards the ring. Fans throw cups and ice at Fisto as he saunters arrogantly towards the squared circle, his gleaming fist held high. He enters the ring, and allows the referee to wrap protective padding around his wrist, although Stone shouts abuse at the official all the while. As soon as the referee steps out of the way, Robski charges Fisto, and the timekeeper hurriedly rings his bell as the two of them go at it in the centre of the ring.] TD: There's absolutely no love lost between these two athletes. They've been feuding since the day dot here in the IIWF, and I can't see any end in sight. [Robski takes the upper hand, avoiding swipes from Flash's steel fist, and kicking Fisto in the midsection. He pulls off a well-executed tiger bomb. Big pop.] TD: Smart move by Robski - that'll take the wind out of Fisto's sails and allow him to dictate the pace of the match. [Robski stomps Fisto, and applies a headlock on him. Flash tries to break the hold once he has regained his breath, but the referee sees his attempts to pull Robski's hair, and prevents him from doing so. Eventually, Flash fights to his feet and pushes Robski into the ropes. Robski ducks a clothesline, but is hit on the rebound by a fist to the lower abdomen. Flash scoops Robski up and bodyslams him, but Robski hooks one of Fisto's legs, and as Fisto propels his opponent downwards, Robski levers Flash over into a small package. Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] TD: Wow! Now there's a counter I'd never have expected to see in a match with these two guys! SR: Maybe so, Dross. But I reckon you'd be surprised if Fisto hit Robski with that steel fist of his. [Enraged, Fisto gets to his feet and nails Robski in the face with his steel fist. Robski goes down.] TD: Oh my! There was no need for Fisto to do that! SR: See what I mean?! [Fisto drags Robski to his feet and executes a backbreaker. Pop. He covers Robski - 1 - 2 - kick out! Fisto pulls Robski to his feet again, and whips him into the ropes. He bends over in order to backdrop his opponent, but Robski sees the move coming and applies a swinging neckbreaker on Fisto. Pop. He pulls Fisto to his feet and executes a gutwrench suplex. Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] TD: What a seesaw match we're seeing here! [Robski whips the stunned Fisto into the ropes, and wraps him up in a sleeper hold as he comes off the other side. Fisto begins to slump to the canvas. On the outside of the ring, Robo Stone sneaks up behind Clifford and Jasmine, and nails Clifford with a blow to the back of the head. He grabs the flag from Jasmine and holds it up to Robski, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a lighter. He sets fire to the Union flag! Big pop!] TD: What on earth does Stone think he's doing?! That's defiling the flag of a great nation! SR: Great nation my as... TD: [interrupting] Look at Robski! He can't believe it! [Robski releases the hold on Fisto, who slumps to the mat, and dives through the ropes, raining blows on Stone. He stomps the fire out of the English flag, and then uses the pole to which it is attached to choke Robo Stone. The referee leaps from the ring to try and separate Robski from Stone, but without success. The crowd pop as Fisto slowly gets to his feet and sees the situation at ringside. He leaps from the ring and starts beating on Robski with renewed vigour. Robski turns and drives the end of the flagpole into Fisto's sternum-area, and Fisto goes down clutching his ribs. The referee gets back into the ring and starts counting both men out: 1 - Robski continues to attack Fisto with the flagpole - 2 - 3 - 4 - Fisto fires back as best he can with wild swipes of his steel fist - 5 - 6 - Robski drops the flagpole, and stomps on Fisto - 7 - 8 - Robski realises he is being counted out - 9 - he rolls back into the ring - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: What decision has been reached here?! Let's get the official word. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, via a countout: Robski! [Big heel pop as the referee raises Robski's arm in victory. Outside the ring, Fisto gets to his feet and snaps the flagpole across his knee. He storms back into the ring, tearing the padding from his fist, and swipes at Robski again. The Englishman dodges the first blow, but is stunned by a blow from the left fist, and is then laid wide open for another blow from the steel fist. He goes down, and rolls from the ring. Fisto raises his fist in triumph in the centre of the ring, but also receives a big heel pop. Jasmine and Clifford, who has recovered from the jump attack, assist Robski up the aisle while Fisto attends to Robo Stone.] TD: What chaos we've seen in this one! But Robski came out of it with the victory - although he's also going to have a nasty headache from that punch. SR: That idiot made the biggest mistake of his life here tonight - he put his hands on Robo Stone, and Fisto's gonna make sure he pays for that very dearly indeed. TD: Now, Steve, you promise you'll stay calm. SR: What are you talking about, Dross? TD: Just promise. SR: Okay, I promise. But this better not be about me not getting that raise. TD: Up next in the ring is the Crippler, who'll be facing... er... "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. SR: Aaargh! That little puke's gonna be out here again?! Why, I'll... TD: [interrupting] Steve, you promised! SR: Yeah, and my promises are about as authentic as your hair! I'm leaving. TD: No, you're staying right there. After all, you _have_ asked for a raise, and if you leave the booth in the middle of a show... SR: Alright, alright. Whatever. But I'm not happy, okay? TD: I'd never have guessed. Let's go up to the ring. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ The Crippler vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the "Outlaw" Josey Wales, hailing from parts unknown and weighing in at 267lbs, here is: the Crippler! [Heel pop as Wales leads the masked Crippler down the aisle towards the ring.] TD: You know, I've grudgingly got to admit that the Posse have, notwithstanding my fate at the hands of the VDC last week, impressed me recently, Steve. SR: Grudgingly?! They're the best thing to hit the wrestling world since the Horsemen, and that's largely because of the Outlaw, who really transported the Horsemen above mediocrity as well. But look at the Posse now: the High Plains Drifters are the number one tag team in the IIWF; the Cell is a homicidal maniac who would be my favourite person in the world right now had he finished you off last week; there's the Outlaw, the former champion, who's probably the most ruthless individual in the IIWF; they've got a great tactical mind in Josey Wales; and then there's the Crippler, the real wrestler's wrestler of the bunch - although the best thing about this guy is that he enjoys breaking bones. I'll be rooting for him all the way in this one. TD: You don't say?! Well, here comes Billy... try to stay calm, Steve. RA: And introducing his opponent. Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 227lbs, here is: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [The opening bars of "Also Sprach Zarathustra" start up. The crowd falls silent in confusion, and the Crippler holds his head in the ring. He looks around frantically as Wales tries to calm him down.] TD: What's that?! That's... that's _Flare's_ music! SR: Hey, maybe we're going to see an athlete out here with some class. [The music stops, and "Little Willie" starts up. Big face pop for Billy as he appears at the top of the aisle.] SR: Aw, damn. The little puke got my hopes up then. I've got half a mind to... TD: [interrupting] You've got half a mind? Wow! SR: Shut it, Dross. Leave the funny stuff to me. [He bows to the fans and makes his way down to ringside. He walks around the ring to where the announcers' table is situated, and bows to the announcers. Dross has to hold Roberts in his seat as he tries to launch himself at Shakespeare, who cracks a smile and climbs the ringsteps to the ring. He bows at the Crippler, who also reacts badly. The Crippler charges Billy as the timekeeper rings the bell to signal the start of the match. Billy sidesteps the charging athlete, and gives him a helping hand over the top rope and to the arena floor. Big pop. Billy takes to the centre of the ring and bows as Wales helps the Crippler to his feet. Billy bounces off the ropes and throws himself over the top rope onto the Posse pair. Big pop as the Crippler and Wales go down hard. Billy gets to his feet and rolls the Crippler back into the ring. He goes to the top rope and drops a leg across the Crippler's neck.] TD: What a great start by Billy! SR: The little puke caught the Crippler with a cheap shot from behind. He's a sneaky little rat who thinks he's the greatest in the world. The truth is, he can't hold a candle to the Crippler, to me, or to anybody else here in the IIWF -- apart from perhaps that similarly stupid Pukester pal of his. TD: Steve, if you're going to give us a half-hour monologue every time you open your mouth, I think you'd better just be quiet and calm down for a bit. Billy's keeping the advantage in there. He's got a painful-looking armbar on the Crippler. SR: If there's anybody who knows how to get out of an armbar, it's the Crippler. There, see? I told you so. [The Crippler reverses the armbar, and Billy lets out a yelp of pain as his arm is twisted behind his back. He grabs the rope with his spare arm, and the referee untangles the Crippler's grip. The two men get to their feet, and the Crippler tries to whip Billy into the ropes. Billy reverses, and both men run into the ropes. As they come off, each attempts a clothesline, and both connect. Both men go down. Big pop. The referee starts counting - 1 - 2 - Billy crawls to his feet - the Crippler likewise stirs. Billy takes the Crippler back to the mat with a drop toe hold, and reapplies the armbar.] TD: Billy's showing us those ring smarts of his here tonight. He's focussing his efforts on one body area. SR: It's just 'cause he can only remember one hold, Dross. I've forgotten more about moves and countermoves than Shakespeare could learn in a lifetime. I was an Olympian myself once, you know. TD: Yeah? What sport did you compete in? The 100m freestyle sack race? SR: Oh, ha ha, Dross. You might mock, but you know damned well that I was the greatest wrestler this sport had ever seen until my career was cut short by that injury. TD: Whatever. Right now, the Crippler's got to be worried about the possible injury to his shoulder. [The Crippler seems unable to break the armbar, which Shakespeare has applied very firmly. Josey Wales jumps up onto the apron and tries to distract Billy. Shakespeare releases the hold and walks over to Wales. The Crippler is quickly to his feet, and drives a knee into Billy's back. Wales pulls the top rope down, and Billy tumbles over to the arena floor. Big heel pop. The Crippler keeps the referee occupied while Wales stomps Billy on the floor.] TD: Aw, come on, give me a break! What a couple of cheating lowlifes! SR: Heh, the almighty Willy Pukespeare's not so bright after all, huh, Dross? Admit it, go on! TD: I concede nothing to you, Steve. [The referee is finally alerted to the situation outside the ring and steps through the ropes to berate Wales. Meanwhile, the Crippler whips Shakespeare into the steel crowd barrier before rolling him back into the ring. The Crippler now has firm control of the match, applying his clawhold on Shakespeare. Billy writhes in pain under the steely grip over his face. The Crippler releases the hold after a few seconds, the damage already done. He drags Billy to his feet and whips him into the ropes, pulling off a well-executed flying headscissors on Shakespeare on the rebound. Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! He drags him to his feet again and whips him into the ropes again. This time the Crippler attempts a backdrop on Shakespeare, but Billy sees the move coming, and kicks the Crippler in the head. Big pop. He clotheslines the Crippler to the mat, and goes to the top rope. He signals for the Curtain Call.] SR: No way! There's no way I'm going to let that little puke win another match! No way! TD: Steve! Come back here! [Roberts throws down his headset and dashes to the corner where Shakespeare is balanced on the top rope. Wales distracts the referee on the opposite side of the ring. Roberts leaps up and grabs the top rope, causing Billy to overbalance and tumble into the ring. The referee turns in time to see the Crippler pull Billy to his feet and execute a spinning DDT on him. The Crippler goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge heel pop as the Crippler stands and raises his hand in victory. Roberts, laughing and grinning like a maniac, returns to the announcers' table.] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: the Crippler! TD: Steve! You... you... I... SR: [replacing his headset] Shut it, Dross! I told you I wasn't going to stand for any more crap from Pukespeare, and I meant it. That little moron's got to learn his lesson, and tonight was only the beginning! [Josey Wales decides to get his man out of the area before the referee can reverse his decision, and he and the Crippler head up the aisle, Wales raising the Crippler's arm in victory. They are jeered solidly all the way up the aisle. Meanwhile, in the ring, Billy is coming to. He sits up, and then looks around towards the announcers' table. He doesn't look at all happy, and slides out of the ring. He approaches Roberts, who stands up behind the table.] TD: Now... don't... just... SR: Shut it, Dross! Hey, Pukespeare, you want some more, huh? Come right up and get it! Come here! [Billy approaches Roberts, and says something which the microphones don't pick up.] SR: Oh yeah?! Well, try _this_ on for size! [Roberts pelts Billy around the face with a hard right hand. Shakespeare stumbles backwards as Dross gets to his feet to hold Roberts back.] TD: Hey, Roberts! That's enough! You hear me? Just sit down! [Dross forces Roberts to sit down. Shakespeare points at Roberts and again says something that cannot be heard. Roberts gives Billy the finger. Billy shakes his head, bows at Roberts, and then heads back up the aisle to a big pop, accepting the cheers of the huge crowd.] TD: Steve! I'm disgusted by you! What on _earth_ possessed you to lay a hand on a wrestler?! [pause. Roberts says nothing] Steve! Are you listening to me? SR: [shouting] No, Dross, you listen to me! I've just about had it up to here with all of this crap. And get this: I'll do what the hell I want to do, when I want to do it. Understand? You're pathetic. You make me sick. I can't stand to be stuck out here with a moron like you for a moment longer. In fact, I'm out of here! [Roberts again throws down his headset and storms off up the aisle. Dross sits there, watching in disbelief. Eventually, he speaks:] TD: I really don't know what to say, folks. I am shocked and saddened by the conduct of my broadcast colleague, Steve Roberts. I can only apologise on his behalf for his actions. We're going to take a short break, but I'll be back in a few moments with our big two final matches. [Fade] [Cut to montage of various IIWF superstars executing their trademark moves - Deathbringer driving the head of a hapless opponent into the canvas with the Burial - the Subway Psycho launching himself off the top rope with his Derailer - the Outlaw executing his vicious Cattle Buster DDT - Dan Kauffman pulling off his tilt-a-whirl Powerbomb - Tiger Claw hitting his Golden Tiger Strike - Billy Shakespeare executing the Curtain Call. Over these spectacular slow motion scenes comes a voice over:] VO: The superstars of the IIWF. Strength. Agility. Heart. Power. Brutality. The will to survive is strong in the heart of the warrior. These latter-day gladiators will join forces and unite against one another. Four on four, they will battle until only one remains. The odds are against them. The stakes are high. The goal is not only to be victorious -- but to survive. [Cut to various shots of top IIWF superstars having their hands raised in victory.] VO: IIWF Midsummer Madness. Live from Madison Square Garden, New York. Only on pay-per-view. Call your local operator for details. The IIWF -- where only the strong survive. [Fade] [Cut back to the announcers' table. Tim Dross is joined by Larry Morton.] TD: Welcome back to the Pasadena Rose Bowl, everybody! I'm now joined by my colleague, Larry Morton. Larry -- what on earth was Steve thinking of? LM: I really don't know, Tim. He pushed past me on his way out to the parking lot, and I must say that I don't think I've ever seen him so out of control. How does Shakespeare manage to get under his skin so much? TD: I've no idea. But I know that we've most certainly not heard the last of this matter. Let's get up to the ring for our next encounter. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ The Outlaw vs. Tony Starks _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the aisle accompanied by the "Outlaw" Josey Wales, weighing in at 353lbs, here is: the Outlaw! [Big heel pop for Wales and the Outlaw as they emerge from the tunnel and make their way to the ring, both of them chomping on cigars. They appear to be in good spirits as they approach the ring. The Outlaw hands his cigar to Wales as he climbs the steps and enters the squared circle.] RA: And introducing his opponent, hailing from Staten Island, New York, and weighing in at 269lbs, here is: Tony Starks! [Good pop for Starks as he makes his way to the ring. His usual no-nonsense attitude prevails, although he does pause to hi-five some of the fans as he walks down the aisle, his eyes always fixed on the Outlaw.] LM: Tony Starks wants nothing more than to beat the Outlaw here tonight and put the past behind him, Tim. TD: Too right, Larry. The Outlaw's been a shadow hanging over Starks' sunny future, and he's going to have to avenge that injury sooner or later. The funny thing is, I can't see the Outlaw just giving in to Starks -- not now, and not ever. [Starks climbs the steps into the ring, adjusts his knee support, and looks straight across the squard circle at the Outlaw. The referee signals to the timekeeper for the bell to start the match. Ding! Ding! Ding! The two men lock up, Starks taking the early advantage with a side headlock. The Outlaw breaks the hold by rushing Starks into the ropes and attempting to pull him over from behind, but Starks holds the ropes, and drives an elbow backwards into the Outlaw's head. The Outlaw staggers backwards, and is knocked to the mat by a clothesline from Starks. Starks immediately begins stomping away at the Outlaw's right leg. He drags the former champion over to the side of the ring, lays the Outlaw's leg over the bottom rope, and then proceeds to jump on it and sit on it, really straining the Outlaw's knee. The referee eventually forces Starks to release the hold before any real damage is done, but the Outlaw now has to favour one leg slightly.] LM: Starks is showing us that excellent tactical side to his nature, Tim. If he can weaken the legs of the Outlaw, the size and power advantage of his opponent will be negated, and then he can worry about wrapping him up in one of those painful submission holds of his. [Starks whips the Outlaw into the ropes, and puts his head down for a backdrop. The Outlaw sees the opportunity and grabs Starks' head under his arm. He applies a sloppy, hasty Cattle Buster DDT. Big heel pop. The Outlaw goes for the cover - 1 - 2 -- kick out!] TD: And just like that, the Outlaw turns the match around. [Now it's the turn of the Outlaw to go to work on Starks' weak knee. He stomps on it, and applies a Figure Four leglock. Starks screams in pain, and frantically reaches behind him for the ropes. A few agonising seconds later, Starks manages to get one hand on the bottom rope, and the referee calls for the break. The Outlaw gets to his feet and starts mocking Starks, telling him to get to his feet. Starks has difficulty putting his weight on his right leg, but gets slowly to his feet. He swipes at the Outlaw, who kicks his leg out from under him. Big heel pop as the Outlaw again taunts Starks.] TD: If Tony's leg is badly injured, the referee ought to stop this one right now! The Outlaw wants to humiliate Starks as well as beat him. [Starks rolls under the bottom rope and drops to the arena floor. The Outlaw follows him to the outside, despite the protestations of the official, and drags him to his feet. He whips Starks into the steel ring steps, his right knee hitting the metal hard with a sickening clang. The Outlaw walks over to his fallen foe, picks up the top half of the ring steps, and throws them down onto Starks with force. Huge heel pop.] TD: Oh my! The Outlaw really is vicious! Starks is in big trouble right now! [At this point, the referee leaps from the ring and forces the Outlaw away from Starks. There is a buzz in the crowd as Simon Lebec and Billy Sexton appear at the head of the aisle and dash down to ringside. The Outlaw keeps the official's attention away from Starks as Lebec and Sexton start beating on Starks.] TD: No! I thought these guys were finished with Starks! LM: Apparently not, Tim. [A few moments later, there is a huge pop as the American Heroes, as well as Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola, dash down to the ring. The Outlaw cannot hide this from the referee, who immediately calls for the bell as total chaos breaks out around ringside.] TD: This is madness, Larry! We've got Simon Lebec and Billy Sexton out here beating on Starks, we've got Casey, Steel and their new allies, beating on Lebec and Sexton, and now... hang on... here comes the rest of the Posse! [Huge heel pop as the Crippler and the High Plains Drifters dash down the aisle and join their partner, the Outlaw. The Posse goes to work on the American Heroes, and are soon controlling the situation. The crowd are going nuts. The referee tries to protect Starks from the rapidly escalating situation that has now spilled into the ring.] LM: We really need some more help out here! Somebody's got to separate these guys! [The timekeeper repeatedly rings his bell, and finally a swarm of security staff and other officials dash down to ringside and attempt to separate the warring gangs. Two officials escort Starks, who is able to walk gingerly on his knee, away from ringside. Gradually, security manage to gain control, escorting Sexton and Lebec up the aisle, and then the members of the Posse, who take a few potshots at their captors as they are forced back towards the locker room area. This leaves the American Heroes and the Family at ringside, who step between the ropes and accept the cheers of the crowd before heading back up the aisle. The crowd slowly falls silent as various lighting effects spin around the Rose Bowl.] TD: Well, thank goodness nobody was seriously hurt in that little melee! LM: That's a miracle, Tim. I didn't catch the official outcome of that bout; did you? TD: No, I didn't. But I'm guessing it was declared a double disqualification or a no contest due to all that inteference. That means there was no winner - and that the Outlaw and Starks will still have unfinished business to attend to. Speaking of unfinished business, it's almost time for tonight's main event, the Third Rail Match between the Subway Psycho and Joe Latta. But before that, I'm to conduct an interview with the IIWF President, Daniel Spreadbury. We're going to hear about the outcome of today's IIWF Championship Committee meeting. You can hold the fort, can't you, Larry? LM: Of course. It'll be good to be out here without Becky hitting me all the time. [Dross gets up from the announcers' table and makes his way to the ring.] LM: While Tim's introducing the IIWF President, let's just do a quick recap of the situation between the IIWF Champion, the Subway Psycho, and Brian Lau, the mastermind of the Syndicate. It all began a couple of months ago at Coronation Clash, when Lau dragged the Psycho's valet, friend and confidant, Mistress Sasha, away from ringside, after which she completely vanished. The Psycho went off the rails, and took some time to come to terms with life without her. However, the IIWF Championship belt which he has proudly worn for the past month is a testament to the manner in which he managed to get back on track. But Lau wasn't going to let the Psycho wear the IIWF Championship for any longer than necessary; and soon reintroduced Sasha to the IIWF as his own right-hand woman, so to speak. Once again, this sent the Psycho absolutely ballistic, and it is alleged that he tore up sections of the New York subway on that same night, allegations that have led to the Police targeting him for questioning. He is still "on the run". Having upset the Psycho's heart, Lau then targeted the Psycho's pocket, enforcing a "power of attorney" clause in the Psycho's contract that stipulated half of his earnings as actually belonging to Sasha. The Psycho apparently struck back, by apparently breaking into Lau's Dojo and wrecking the place, spray-painting the walls and destroying the furniture. Again, the Psycho is wanted for questioning on this matter. Lau and Sasha also began a campaign to the IIWF Championship Committee that the Psycho should be stripped of the IIWF title because of his recent conduct, and that the belt, being a contractually-defined "incentive", should pass into the possession of the Syndicate. I understand that a decision was made earlier today at the convening of the IIWF Championship Committee. I sincerely hope that this outcome isn't what I fear it might be. Let's go up to the ring, where Tim Dross is joined by the IIWF President, Dan Spreadbury. [Cut to the ring. Tim Dross, holding a microphone in his free hand, stands with the IIWF President. The ring is already prepared for the Third Rail match.] TD: Mr. President, thanks very much for coming out here tonight. DS: I wish I could say that it is my pleasure to be here, Tim, but I am afraid that isn't the case. Today has been a very gruelling day for me, and the outcome isn't one I'm very happy with. TD: What do you mean? DS: Before I say anything, I'd like to ask that the Subway Psycho come out here to join us. Ladies and gentlemen, the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, the Subway Psycho! [Huge pop as the lights drop and a single spotlight picks out the figure of the Subway Psycho emerging from the tunnel at the head of the aisle. He makes his way down to ringside, furtive and subdued. He is flanked by security personnel. He climbs the ringsteps and enters the ring. Tim Dross offers him the microphone, but the Psycho shakes his head and declines to speak, instead motioning back to the IIWF President.] TD: President Dan? DS: Psycho, I've brought you out here tonight because I want the public to know how unhappy I am about what I've got to do. I'm afraid I have some good news and some bad news. Firstly, the bad news. The ruling of the IIWF Championship Committee meeting today, despite repeated protestation from myself, and the petitions of many thousands of IIWF fans, is that due to the strength of the allegations surrounding your recent conduct, you are deemed unfit to continue to hold the title of IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. [Huge dismayed pop from the crowd as the Psycho steps back and looks out into the fans, a look of pure misery on his face.] DS: I know... I know. Please, folks, quieten down! Psycho, this is the last thing I want to do. Please understand that I am merely a pawn in a larger political game, and I did everything in my power to stop the authorities from perpetrating what I consider to be a gross injustice. In my eyes, and in the eyes of all the people out here, you will remain the IIWF Champion. But I must ask you to hand over the belt to me now. [The crowd falls silent as the Psycho unbuckles the IIWF gold from his waist and takes a long look at it in his hands. He hands it to President Dan in silence. There is a long pause as Dross regards the Psycho, who eventually turns from the suited pair and slumps in one corner of the ring.] TD: Well, President Dan, I can't quite believe that the Championship Committee would be as callous as this, but I must ask you: after that, what on earth can the good news be? DS: I appreciate how upset everyone is about this. It upsets me greatly to have to enforce this ruling. But there _is_ indeed some good news. First of all, the title will _not_ be passing into the possession of Brian Lau and Mistress Sasha. The championship is being vacated. TD: And have you any word on how the fate of the championship will be decided? DS: I have indeed. At IIWF Midsummer Madness, the next pay-per-view spectacular, from Madison Square Garden in New York, the new champion will be crowned. The card will be made up of a series of four-on-four single elimination tag team matches, and the survivors of those matches will pick sides and go on to a final single elimination tag team match at the climax of the evening, which will continue until there is only one man standing - and if that means that two partners on the same team end up battling for the title, so be it. That one man left standing at the end of that final match will become the next IIWF Champion. And the Subway Psycho will no doubt be competing in that event, with a chance to recapture the title. In fact, the Psycho has been granted special dispensation by the IIWF's Board of Directors, and he has been automatically granted a spot in that final tag team match, so he is guaranteed a shot at the title, regardless of whether he is eliminated earlier in the evening. TD: So the survivors from each match will go on to pick sides and face one another in the final championship elimination match, in which the Psycho is guaranteed a place? DS: That's absolutely right, Tim. TD: What an event that's going to be! DS: One more thing: Psycho, if you don't wish to wrestle Joe Latta tonight in the Third Rail Match, then the match can be postponed. It's up to you. [The Psycho stands once more, and looks out into the crowd again. He receives a standing ovation. He walks over to Dross and grabs the microphone.] SP: These people know who the champion is. Whether I have that belt or not is immaterial. And these people know who they want to see in the ring. Guess what, puppet? It ain't you! These people want to see the Subway Psycho kick Joe Latta's ass and fry him on the Third Rail. And what the people want, the people get! Bring him out here and let's get it on! The Psycho's not leaving this arena until the corpses of Latta and Lau are lying twitching on this Rail right here! [Huge pop! Tim Dross and President Dan leave the ring, Dan heading back up the aisle with the belt in his hand. Dross rejoins Larry Morton at the announcers' table as the Psycho raises his arms in the centre of the ring.] LM: I can't believe that the Psycho's been stripped of the gold, Tim! A more deserving champion one couldn't find anywhere in the world! TD: I know what you mean, Larry, but I also appreciate the position that the IIWF's Championship Committee was in. While I don't doubt the integrity of the Psycho, or his wrestling credentials, there are certainly some unresolved questions over the issue of his conduct in recent weeks. But we've got to look at the positive side of all this: firstly, it seems to have made the Psycho all the more determined to get revenge on Brian Lau; and secondly, it's added a whole new dimension to the upcoming Midsummer Madness PPV. That's really going to be something! LM: It sure is, Tim. And as long as the Psycho manages to stay out of jail, he's got to be the favourite to recapture that title in his hometown on August 17. TD: Yes indeed! We'll be announcing the first matches for that great event this Wednesday at Midweek Mayhem, live from the Seattle Kingdome. LM: Absolutely! And now I'm looking forward to hearing them more than ever! TD: Right now, Sparkplug Lee's back in the ring with the Psycho. It's time for tonight's main event! ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Third Rail Match: Subway Psycho vs. Joe Latta _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: Ladies and gentlemen: the following encounter is tonight's main event, and it is a special Third Rail Match! The object of the match is as follows. There is a metal plate in the centre of the ring, to each end of which the athletes must connect electrodes to complete an electric circuit. The winning wrestler must place his opponent on this plate when it is electrified. There will be no DQs, no countouts, and pinfalls and submissions do not count! The only way to win this match is to electrocute your opponent! [Big pop!] Introducing first, already in the ring, hailing from the subways of New York, weighing in at 255lbs, here is the people's champion, the Subway Psycho! [Huge ovation for the Psycho! "Crazy Train" blasts out over the PA.] TD: Oh my! I can hardly hear myself think! I've never heard anything like this in my life! LM: Every one of the hundred thousand plus fans in this arena are on their feet! I can't believe it! What an ovation! [After a minute or so, the cheers die down enough for Sparkplug Lee to resume his announcements.] RA: And his opponent: coming down the aisle, accompanied by Tiger Claw, and his manager, Brian Lau, hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland, weighing in at 265lbs, here is: "The Master" Joe Latta! [As soon as "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette starts up and the Syndicate appear at the head of the aisle, the Psycho leaps from the ring and charges up the aisle, setting about all three individuals with huge gusto. Massive pop as the Psycho knocks Claw's and Latta's heads together, and then slams them with force into the steel crowd barriers. He then points straight at Lau, who turns tail and tries to escape. Subway grabs hold of Lau and suplexes him on the arena floor. Huge pop!] TD: There's a little retribution right there! The Psycho's on fire! He's sure living up to his name right now! [Lau lies motionless on the arena floor. The Psycho drags Tiger Claw to his feet and DDTs him onto the arena floor. The Intercontinental Champion is also motionless. Finally, the Psycho drags Latta up and throws him down the aisle towards the ring. He slams him into barriers, then the apron, and then the steel ring steps. He grabs a steel chair from beside the timekeeper's table and cracks it across Latta's back. Huge pop! The Psycho rolls into the ring under the bottom rope and grabs one of the electrodes, which is wired via one of the corners. He attaches it to the terminal on one end of the Third Rail and then goes to the other corner. He attaches that electrode too. Huge pop as sparks fly from the terminal. The Psycho points to Latta and draws his thumb across his throat. Massive pop!] TD: I've never heard the crowd so behind anybody as these fans are behind the Psycho tonight, Larry! LM: And I don't think I've ever seen anybody in such a whole world of trouble as Latta is right now! Lau and Claw are still lying in the aisle, and officials aren't able to revive them at this time. Latta's on his own, and he's about to get fried! [The Psycho leaps from the ring and grabs the stunned Latta. He whips him into the steel ringsteps once more, and Latta slumps to the floor. He drags him to his feet again and prepares to roll him into the ring, when Mistress Sasha comes running down the aisle. The Psycho stops in his tracks and gazes at Sasha, seemingly mesmerised. She slows and approaches him.] TD: Oh no! Would you look at that?! Sasha's got the Psycho eating out of her hand! LM: We all know that she's the reason behind all this, but the Psycho would do anything for her. Hell, if she asked him to leap onto the electric plate himself, he'd probably do it! TD: I think, in effect, that's what she's doing! Look, Latta's getting to his feet -- and so's Tiger Claw. The Psycho's got to snap out of this, and fast! [Sasha strokes the Psycho's face, having calmed him with a single touch, and then darts out of the way as Latta attacks him from behind with the chair. The Psycho goes down, and Latta repeatedly batters the Psycho with the chair. Sasha runs back up the aisle to tend to Lau, and Claw woozily runs to help beat on the Psycho with Latta.] TD: The Psycho's had it! Latta and Claw are all over him like a rash! [Suddenly, the lights drop to nothing. Huge pop as they come back up and Deathbringer has both Claw and Latta by the throat, one in each of his huge gloved hands. In an amazing display of strength, he chokeslams both to the floor at ringside simultaneously. Massive pop!] TD: Wow! If there were a roof on this place, it would have come off by now, Larry! I never thought I'd hear the people cheer for the Deathbringer like this, but he's really turning into a favourite! [The Psycho stumbles to his feet, and sees Deathbringer there. He nods in thanks to the big man before turning his attentions back to Latta. He picks up the hapless wrestler, and rolls him into the ring. He hoists him up so that he is sitting on the top rope, and then climbs the buckles himself. He raises his arms to the crowd, who cheer wildly.] TD: No way! He's going to superplex Latta onto the steel plate! [Massive pop as the Psycho throws Latta backwards onto the steel plate. Sparks fly in a huge firework-like explosion as Latta hits the plate. Ding! Ding! Ding! The crowd erupts again as the Psycho raises his arms in victory.] RA: Here is your winner: the people's champion, the Subway Psycho! LM: Wow! Is Latta going to be alright?! TD: If everything went according to plan, that plate should have shortcircuited as soon as Latta hit it. He might have sustained a few minor burns, but he'll be fine. [The Psycho kicks Latta from the ring, and is joined by his ally, Deathbringer. Huge fireworks erupt high above the Rose Bowl as Deathbringer raises the Psycho's arm in victory. Brian Lau and Sasha make their way to ringside, and Lau has to hold Tiger Claw back from getting into the ring. Sasha helps Latta to his feet, and Claw and Lau support Latta back up the aisle. Sasha stands at the foot of the aisle and points up into the ring at the Psycho. She motions that she's taken the belt from him, and the Psycho is held back by 'Bringer from going after her. She turns, and with a flick of her hair, heads back up the aisle.] TD: I can't believe what a night of action we've seen here tonight, Larry! Deathbringer has challenged Tiger Claw and Joe Latta to a tag team match next week -- and if he's looking for a partner, I don't think he'll have to look too far. The Psycho has got to be the man for the job! LM: Absolutely! He and Deathbringer are totally on fire... and the fans can't get enough! TD: Well, sadly, we're right out of time here tonight, but what a card it's been! The Psycho has been stripped of the IIWF title, but, as he said, in the eyes of the people he's still the champion. I've just heard that the official attendance for tonight's event is 102,341, which is phenomenal! And every single one of those fans has been well and truly entertained here tonight. Larry will be back with you on Wednesday, live from the Seattle Kingdome. Larry, what can we expect from Midweek Mayhem this week? LM: We'll be finding out just who'll be participating in Midsummer Madness, and in the rings, Brad "Bodybag" Kinder challenges Tiger Claw for the Intercontinental Championship. Deathbringer will be in action, and we'll also see a First Blood Match between the Hangman and the Venusian Death Cell. Plus a whole lot more... and Becky LaRue, of course. TD: But of course. And next week's IIWF Saturday Night will originate from the Superdome in New Orleans. We'll see more tag team tournament action, that tag team match with 'Bringer, Claw and Latta, and much, much more! I'll be back at you on Tuesday with another IIWF Control Centre update, so until then, this is Tim Dross, for Larry Morton, and the AWOL "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, saying: so long from the Pasadena Rose Bowl, everybody! [Cut to aerial shot of the ring where Deathbringer and the Psycho are still accepting the cheers of the crowd. Pull out to reveal the sea of fans, with camera flashes exploding all over the place, until the entire Rose Bowl is in shot. Then pan up to the evening sky over the Pasadena skyline, and fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+