##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * Kingdome, Seattle, DC * July 24 1996 [The opening graphics fade to show the sun setting over the Kingdome in Seattle. Voice over as the shot zooms in through the doors of the Kingdome and cut to shots of the crowd cheering and waving signs, as fireworks explode high in the rafters of the arena.] LM: Welcome once again to IIWF Midweek Mayhem! Tonight we're coming at you live from the Seattle Kingdome, and we've got a pumped capacity crowd on hand to witness tonight's incredible action! [Cut to the announcers' table. Larry Morton stands with Becky LaRue.] LM: Hi there, folks. Larry Morton here with the lovely Becky LaRue for another dose of Midweek Mayhem! Things are really on fire here in the IIWF right now, with two of the IIWF's Championships currently vacant and the competition really heating up as we head towards the next IIWF pay-per-view, Midsummer Madness, which is now only just over four weeks away! We'll have the first announcements concerning matches for that stellar event later on tonight. BL: Well, Larry, Midsummer Madness may well be upon us before August 17 with lunatics like the Subway Psycho running around loose. The only thing more amazing than the fans' support for that looney-tune is the fact that the police _still_ haven't managed to put him behind bars. LM: The people's champion, indeed! The Psycho isn't scheduled for action here tonight, but you can bet he's in the area - wherever Brian Lau's Syndicate goes, he's never far behind, and in tonight's main event, Tiger Claw defends the IIWF Intercontinental Championship against Brad "Bodybag" Kinder. BL: And I'll tell you what, Larry - I wouldn't mind spending a few dark nights with Bodybag. Maybe we'll celebrate tonight after he's strapped that gold round his waist... LM: Enough of the speculation, Becky. Let's talk facts - like the rest of the line-up for tonight's card. We're going to see "Painbringer" Billy Sexton try to continue his winning ways against "Nuclear" John Bomber, and in tag team championship tournament action, Stunt Team USA will face the Returners. BL: Plus the Deathbringer will be battling "Frost" Scott Morrison. And in another great match, the Senator's latest charge, the Hangman, will be taking the Venusian Death Cell apart in a First Blood Match. LM: I'm not sure my stomach will be able to stand up to that match. But anyway, there's all kinds of action coming at you tonight, folks, so stay tuned! In just a few moments, we'll see Don Antonio take on the Sandman, and we've already seen the Don's right-hand man in action against another of the Dark Knights. Let's run down the matches that went down here tonight before we came on the air: - VINNY CAPPICOLA defeated PHANTOM by disqualification when the other two Dark Knights, the Sandman and Brad "Bodybag" Kinder came down to the ring and interfered. Cappicola had the match apparently sewn up with his Eradicator, but he was jumped just as he was making the cover. I wonder whether the rest of the Family and the other two Knights will be at ringside for the Don's match in a little while, Becky? BL: If you really wonder that, Larry, then you're in worse shape than I thought. LM: In other action: - The ARMED FORCES defeated the GUIDING LIGHTS with their devastating ICBM and AK47 combination. It was a very hard-fought encounter, with both teams working very hard. Now it's the Forces with the momentum going into their next big match against Stunt Team USA on Saturday Night. However, after the match, Taylor, he of former IIWF Tag champs, Steamroller, made a run-in and attacked Lawson and Augustine, much to the confusion of the crowd. All I can imagine is that he's seeking revenge for the injury they put on Brassow, his partner, when they first made their debuts in the IIWF. BL: You don't say. Let me call the next one, Larry. I promise I'll try to be as inane as you: - The iron destroyer, FISTO FLASH, lived up to his name, destroying the unfortunate "NIFTY" NED NORTON [J] in record time, finishing him off with the Knucklebuster piledriver, dropping him on his head from the turnbuckles. That's gotta hurt. LM: But after the match, Flash removed the padding from his steel fist and proceeded to attack Norton brutally with that prosthesis of his. It took seven or eight security guards to get him out of the ring an... BL: [interrupting] Larry, will you shut up?! I was coming to that. LM: [sheepishly] Sorry. I guess I was a little over-excited. BL: I hate to think what you were like when you first managed to tie your shoelaces. Anyway, moving on: - "LEGEND" BRANDON BENNETT put MAGUS away with a modified inside cradle at the climax of a match that Magus dominated. The big guy kept Bennett at bay with high-impact manoeuvres and brawling tactics, but Bennett's resilience allowed him to stay in the match, and he pulled the pinfall victory out of nowhere. - "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC defeated ROBSKI on a countout when Fisto Flash came down to ringside and tried to woo Jasmine... LM: [interrupting] _Woo_ her? It looked to me like he was trying to knock her out with that steel fist of his! She was standing at ringside holding the Union flag and cheering on her man, when Fisto came down and tried to drag her away. When she resisted, he started winding up to hit her, and had it not been for Robski diving from the ring to save his girlfriend, who knows what would have happened! Robski was in control of that matchup, but he was effectively forced to throw it by Fisto's arrival. He chased Fisto up the aisle and was counted out... [looking at Becky] What? BL: [pause] Are you quite finished? LM: Er... yes. BL: You're always running your mouth, aren't you, little Larry?! Well, I would suggest you shutting up and listening to me, okay? Who knows, you might learn something. LM: Like how to... [stops as he realises Becky is looking at him with a very stern look on her face] ... sorry. BL: Right now it's time for tonight's first live matchup, as the soft- boiled reformed mobster Don Antonio battles the leader of the Dark Knights, the Sandman. Let's see what sartorial nightmare Sparkplug Lee's managed to dig out of the dumpster for tonight's event. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Don Antonio vs. The Sandman _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Sparkplug Lee enters the ring as the spotlights swirl around the arena. As the single spotlight falls on the ring announcer, a chant of "Spark-Plug . . . Spark-Plug" rises from Sections 118 and 120.] LM: You know Becky, everywhere we've been on this big national tour, everyone has really made us feel at home. They've been almost like... family. BL: Let me guess, Larry, you're trying to come up with a clever way of introducing Don Antonio and the Family, aren't you? Well it's not going to work, you putrid little twit, because the people out in TV land are too smart to bite on that crapola, and I'm even smarter than they are, so just shut the hell up and get on with what you get paid to do... although I sure can't figure that one out either... which is calling the matches! LM: [cowering] Gulp, I was just having a good time on the tour. Let's go up to the ring. SL: Ladieeeees and Gentlemen, this contest is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Sicily, weighing in at 275 pounds and accompanied to the ring by Salvatore Fiorello, Vinny Cappicola, and Cousin Guido, here is: Don Antonio! [A mixed reaction greets Don Antonio and the Family as they stroll to the ring to the strains of "The Godfather." Some fans boo, but one holds up a homemade sign which reads: "Sandman Will Swim With the Fisshis."] LM: It appears the Don does have a fan here tonight. BL: Yeah, one who obviously can't spell. Fisshis? That kid must be another one of Don Antonio's relatives. SL: And his opponent, from parts unknown, weighing in at 275 pounds and accompanied to the ring by fellow Dark Knights Phantom and Brad Kinder, here is: the Sandman! [Moderate heel pop for the Dark Knights as they enter to... "Three Times A Lady" by Lionel Ritchie! The crowd bursts out laughing as the Knights throw a tantrum at the top of the aisle. In the ring, Don Antonio hi-fives Vinny and Sal.] BL: I can't believe this! What's Don Antonio trying to do?! LM: [stifling laughter] They don't look so tough now, do they? I guess the Don asked the sound guy for a little favour. BL: More likely he's got one of his goons up there with a knife against the sound guy's throat. The Don's a gangster - always has been, always will be. LM: Now that's not fair Becky, and you know it. [The ballad fades away and is replaced by the hard rock strains of "Mr. Sandman." Kinder calms down the Sandman and the Knights head down the aisle. Phanton points out the homemade sign to the others and they all laugh at the poor spelling. The fan, embarrassed, gives all of them the finger.] LM: Well, let's cut away from that little scene. I don't think our home audience should be subjected to such sights. BL: What are you talking about? That little fan just converted to a Dark Knights fan and he said they were number one! [Sandman makes his way into the ring and the referee calls for the opening bell. The two lock up in the middle of the ring, but Don Antonio gains the early advantage with a kick to the midsection. He follows with a European uppercut that staggers Sandman, then whips his opponent into the ropes and delivers a high backdrop. Big pop.] LM: These knowledgable IIWF fans are really into this match as Don Antonio opens with a flurry of moves. BL: They got excited about a backdrop? I could show them a move or two. LM: And no doubt you will later. [a thud is heard under the ring and Morton grimaces] Ow! Those bruises haven't healed from last week! [Don Antonio drops an elbow on Sandman's back and goes for the Boston crab, but Phantom rolls and kicks off the Don. Sandman surprises his opponent with a legsweep takedown and an armbar, then leaps and drives his knee into Don Antonio's neck. Sandman pulls the Don to his feet, whips him into the ropes and delivers a vicious lariat that nearly turns the Don in midair. Sandman pulls him back to his feet, hits a reverse neckbreaker and goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: Sandman is really going to work on Don Antonio's neck trying to prepare him for the sleeper. BL: Well the Don had better fight him off. When you face Sandman there is only one rule . . . you snooze, you lose! [Sandman keeps the upper hand with a brainbuster suplex and then goes to the top rope and poses for Kinder and Phantom outside the ring. But as he dives to deliver a headbutt, it is evident that he wasted too much time, and Don Antonio rolls out of the way as Sandman slams his head into the mat. As he rolls over in pain, Don Antonio drops with a falling headbutt of his own and inflicts more damage. He pulls Sandman up for a piledriver and rams Sandman's head and neck into the mat, then applies his Boston crab.] LM: While the Sandman will put you out with the sleeper, Don Antonio can easily make you submit with the painful Boston crab. BL: Why do you keep saying "you?" I don't remember submitting to any of those moves. LM: I was just speaking figuratively. BL: Well, do us all a favor and try speaking silently. [Don Antonio continues the pressure, but it becomes evident after more than a minute that Sandman will not submit. The Don breaks the hold and prepares to weaken the back even more as he bounces off the ropes and goes for an elbow drop, but Phantom grabs his leg through the bottom rope and trips the Don. The referee sees this breach of the rules, and signals for the bell. Vinny Cappicola pulls Sandman's leg to the ring apron and raps his knee against the edge of the ring, but Brad Kinder is quickly to Sandman's aid and begins brawling with Cappicola.] LM: I didn't think the Family and the Dark Knights could stay out of this match. This one is degenerating in a hurry. BL: Yeah, you know about degenerates, Larry. [Phantom and Cousin Guido both rush into the ring and attack each other as the referee calls for the bell and leaps from the ring. Sandman gets back to his feet and helps Phantom work over Cousin Guido, but Don Antonio recovers and clotheslines Sandman over the top rope. The Don and Cousin Guido then toss Phantom over the top rope as well, as Vinny Cappicola and Salvatore Fiorello roll into the ring to join the Family. They all raise their hands as the Dark Knights retreat up the aisle.] LM: The Family seem to think Don Antonio was the winner, but I don't know how much of the interference the referee saw. The bell rang some time ago - let's get the announcement. SL: Here is your winner, by disqualification: Don Antonio! BL: What?! I don't get it! I'm sure it was the ham-man who took the first shot there! LM: Apparently not. I guess the referee saw Phantom trip the Don. [Don Antonio waves his hand at Sparkplug Lee as the announcement is made and the Family slowly climb from the ring and walk back up the aisle. Don Antonio gives a thumbs-up to the fan with the homemade sign.] LM: Do you get the feeling that the Family and the Dark Knights will be meeting again? BL: Wow, funny you should mention that. Yes I do! [Suddenly the lights in the arena drop to nothingness. Big confused pop. A single spotlight picks out a figure high in the nosebleed seats in the arena. The figure is wearing a cowl, and carrying a scythe, although he is also rather incongruously wearing Thai boxing trousers.] LM: Hey -- is that Deathbringer?! BL: No, you moron! That's Tiger Claw! LM: Tiger Claw?! Why would he dress up like Deathbringer? BL: I think it's called "mind games", Larry - something that you wouldn't know about, since you're pretty mindless. [The lights drop once more, and when they are restored, the figure is gone.] LM: Hmm... well, sorry for the interruption, folks... let's get back up to the ring. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF World Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: Stunt Team USA vs. The Returners _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Coolio begins rapping as Sparkplug Lee lifts the mike.] RA: The following contest is a tag team tournament match scheduled for one fall. Introducing, from the mean streets of South Figaro and the Valley of the Shadow of Death: Locke Cole and Sabin Figaro: The Returners! [There is some noise of support, but not much. The Returners stride to the ring, mindless of the crowd.] LM: Not a whole lot of support for the Returners here in the Seattle area. BL: Some wrestlers have fans all over, some don't. Betcha can't guess where mine are. LM: Will you hurt me if I answer wrong? BL: Take a chance. LM: Then I decline to answer. BL: Smart boy. RA: And their opponents in this round of the tag team tournament. Ron Fire and Steve Forget... Stunt Team USA! [Big cheer. Stunt Team jogs out delivering low-fives to the crowd. They simultaneously climb between the ropes before double high-fiving each other. Ron Fire extends a hand to Locke Cole who slaps it away.] LM: The Returners don't seem too cordial. BL: They're here to wrestle, not make friends. Though, with their luck so far, they could use all the friends they can get. LM: But friends don't win you belts. BL: Larry, my love, you've obviously missed what the Posse and the Syndicate are all about. [Locke Cole immediatly begins with a kick to the abdomen. Fire doubles over and Cole lifts a knee. Locke Cole charges but Fire throws him into the corner. Belly to back suplex, then a tag to "Airborne" Steve Forget. Forget lands from the rope with a splash on the fallen Cole. Forget tosses him to the corner, Cole lifts a foot, staggering Forget. Cole follows with a scissor kick as Forget staggers to the opposite corner. Cole drives a shoulder, then a roll up - 1 - 2 - Forget powers out. Cole tags in Sabin Figaro as Forget gets the tag to Ron Fire.] LM: One remarkable thing about the tournament so far is that the matches have been free of interference. BL: Except for Saturday night. I wasn't even there and I know more about what went on. LM: Yes, where were you? BL: I was up the freeway living it up on Hollywood and Vine. I went to the Chinese Theatre. Did you know that Marilyn Monroe and I had the same size... LM: DON'T SAY IT! BL: ...hands? What were you thinking that I was going to say Larry? [The two lock up collar and elbow. It's a draw until Figaro muscles Fire into the corner. The Returner connects with a head butt. He scoop slams Ron Fire. Fire uses the ropes to stand, with a double leg pick-up Figaro throws him over the top to the outside.] LM: It's a good thing that Ron Fire is a stuntman. He knows how to roll correctly. BL: I've always appreciated that about stuntmen. [Fire crawls back in the ring only to have Figaro drag him to his feet. Sabin sets up for a piledriver, but Ron Fire back body drops him. Fire goes for the corner, but Figaro catches him before he can get there. Sabin Figaro hiptosses him centre, then locks on a camel clutch.] LM: That's a move that you won't see Sabin Figaro execute often. BL: Desperate times call for desperate measures, and things are looking really bleak for the boys from the 'hood. LM: Not just that, but they haven't been winning much recently either. BL: Larry. LM: Yes? BL: Oh, forget it, you're not worth the insult. [The Ref asks for the submission, but the two remain at stalemate. The crowd begins to shout: "S..T..U.S.A! S..T..U.S.A!"] LM: That stands for Stunt Team USA. BL: Oh really? I thought that these grunge heads just couldn't figure out how to spell "Stupid". [Ron begins to draw strength from the crowd. With difficulty he drags himself to the ropes. Figaro breaks clean and Fire tags in Forget. Steve Forget pushes Figaro against the ropes, he rebounds and the stuntman snaps him over with a flying head scissors.] LM: Did you see that! BL: No Larry, I was watching the action in another ring. [Sabin delivers a series of blows to the midsection, slowly rising as he beats Forget around the head. Forget gets in a snap mare, then plants a knee to the forehead.] LM: Is anyone ever going to attempt a pin in this match? BL: That's irrelevant. LM: Pins are irrelevant? BL: Well, rememeber that little boast you made about no interference? LM: I wouldn't say it was a boast... BL: Well, you're about to look foolish. Again. [The Guiding Lights run to the ring. Steve Forget throws himself to the ropes as Guiding Light Nate Lawson grabs his ankle. Ron Fire quickly circles the ring and locks up with Greg Augustine. Lawson sets about pummeling Forget as Augustine slams Fire across the crowd barrier. Security quickly rushes the ring and pulls the feuding teams apart. They escort The Guiding Lights away. Sabin Figaro looks to the Ref, and the Ref signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: Now this is unfortunate. They're giving the vistory to Stunt Team USA based upon outside interference acting on behalf of The Returners. BL: These two can't buy a break. And they've stolen enough money that they could, if someone were selling. But the stupidity award goes to Guiding Lights. I can't say that either Stunt Team or the Returners will be happy about this. Not that either team is much to fear. LM: Are you trying to start something here? BL: Well, you're certainly not helping -- hey! [The lights suddenly drop. A single spotlight picks out a figure in the stands. Once more, it is bedecked in a cowl and carries a scythe. This time, gold leg-length tights poke out the bottom of the brown outfit.] LM: Er... Becky? Who is it this time? BL: It's Joe Latta, you fool. Do you never pay attention? LM: I don't see what the Syndicate is trying to achieve with these silly tricks. BL: Don't you remember? Brian Lau commented that anybody could do those cheap parlour tricks that are Deathbringer's trademark. And so they can! I think Latta makes a cute Deathbringer, don't you? LM: Yeah, whatever. [The lights return to normal, and Latta has disappeared.] Let's get back up to the ring. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. "Nuclear" John Bomber _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Coming to the ring, weighing 245 pounds and hailing from Wawa, Ontario, Canada: "Painbringer" Billy Sexton! ["TNT" thumps heavily, echoing off the dome. There is a localized cheer amoung the occasional jeers. Someone raises a middle finger to the wrestler.] BL: Sounds like a handful of fans crossed the border to see Billy Sexton. LM: If they did, they came to see a lunatic. BL: So a guy throws a few tantrums, hurts some people, breaks a few bones and suddenly he's branded a lunatic. [Painbringer enters the ring, he cracks his knuckles and lets loose a cry of triumph. A siren screams, then an explosiion. The lights staccato flicker to the noise, then "Juke Joint Jezebel" begins.] RA: His opponent, from Three Mile Island, 295 pounds of atomic power, "Nuclear" John Bomber. [There is a small face pop as he climbs into the ring. He flexes his pecs, making the mushroom cloud on his chest billow and rise. At the bell, Sexton pushes him to the ropes and delivers a side suplex. Bomber stands and pounds his chest, unhurt. The crowd pops.] LM: Does this guy think he's Tarzan? BL: I've seen Tarzan, and I can say, he's no Tarzan. [Bomber sends Sexton to the ropes, he bearhugs the smaller man, then deposits him on the turnbuckle. Sexton chops at the neck. Bomber steps up the ropes, grabs the tights and lifts for the suplex. Sexton hooks the buckle with his feet. Bomber tries again. Sexton begins a tilt-a-whirl but, Bomber falls backwards, squashing Sexton between himself and the mat. Count - 1 - 2 - Sexton grabs the rope.] LM: Sexton is overmatched in size against John Bomber, but his resilience makes up for it. BL: That resilience could help him in the World belt competition. LM: This would be a good time to mention Midsummer Madness in August. BL: No, it wouldn't. LM: It's never to early to order...erk! BL: What was that again? LM: [pained, quickly] Your-shoe-heel-is-in-my-toe... BL: Now how did that happen? LM: -it-hurts- BL: That's why they call them stilletos. [Sexton slows Bomber's momentum with an armbar. He twists continually. Bomber reaches out for the ropes. Sexton wrings the arm, adding in shots with his elbow. Bomber reaches the ropes. "Painbringer" swiftly lets loose the arm, sweeps Bomber's feet, and executes a leglock. Bomber flails his arms to no avail. Finally he is able to push Sexton off with his free leg. Sexton rolls up, ready for the kill. Sexton rushes, "Nuclear" Bomber throws him to the ropes. He bends for the back drop. Sexton leap frogs and bounces himself against the ropes. Bomber attempts another drop. Sexton grabs Bomber's head and slides between his legs, dragging Bomber's head with him. Bomber somersaults and lands with a bang.] BL: The bigger they are, the harder the fall. LM: I'll defer to you, what would you call that move by Sexton? BL: That would be the fallout survivor: Place your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye. LM: I get the idea. [Bomber rolls about, not knowing which hurts more; his neck or his back. Sexton flips him over, steps through the legs, and tilts back in a boston crab. Bomber tries to crawl to the ropes, but Sexton redoubles the effort. The referee asks for the submission, Bomber shakes his head "no". Ref asks again, again "no". Ref again, Bomber submits. Ding! Ding! Ding! Sexton continues to tilt on the pain until the ref pulls him off "Nuclear" John. Sexton raises both his hands in triumph.] LM: This Saturday we'll be in New Orleans. Any chance we'll see you there? BL: N'Awlins, it's my home town! LM: Your home town? BL: Honey, with a name like LaRue, where else could I come from? I'm the original French quarter. Bourbon Street is in my blood. LM: Not to mention jazz, riverboats and the Saints. BL: You forgot Voodoo. LM: Curious that you should mention voodoo, considering who we're about to see. BL: Curious my foot. I've been setting up this one since the beginning. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Deathbringer vs. "Frost" Scott Morrison _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [There is heard a rusty squeak, then the slam of a stone door, perhaps that of a crypt closing. The Kingdome goes black.] LM: Oh dear, they had this problem in Atlanta on Friday too. [Steadily rising in volume, a cheer begins. Two glowing red eyes appear briefly on the video wall. As the light returns, Deathbringer stands on the turnbuckle, arms crossed across his chest. The roar of the crowd is deafening.] RA: Coming to the ring, at 6 foot 8, 275 pounds, from Hoboken, New Jersey: "Frost" Scott Morrison! [Metallica's "Enter Sandman" rocks the dome. Icey letters spell "Frost" across the videowall. He enters, his eyes locking on Deathbringer and never wavering while he walks to the ring. He grabs a "Worst Nightmare" poster without looking at it, and shreds it as he climbs between the ropes.] LM: We'll see if this man can send Deathbringer off to "Never-never land" as his song boasts. BL: Larry, quoting Metallica, I'm shocked. LM: I try to be aware: Metallica, Oasis, Bush... BL: What about Seattle favorite Soundgarden? LM: Who? BL: Nevermind. LM: That was Nirvana, right? No, wait, don't tell me.. [Frost doesn't wait for the bell before hammering on Deathbringer with forearm shots. Deathbringer throws him to the ropes. Frost returns with a flying clothesline. Frost bounces himself off the ropes with an attempted flying body press, but Deathbringer catches him in air.] LM: Power to power, chest to chest. The fans are going crazy. BL: Something you said reminds me of another thing Marilyn Monroe and I have in common. We both have really huge... LM: No, no, no! BL: ...fan clubs. Larry, you shouldn't let your imagination run away with you. [Deathbringer turns the hold into an inverted atomic drop. Frost bounces away. When he turns, 'Bringer grabs him by the throat.] LM: Chokeslam coming up. I just know it. [Frost gets his own hands on Deathbringer's throat.] BL: Here's something you won't see often, duelling chokeslams. [The ref begins to count as the two continue to choke each other. Frost drops and rolls, delivering a snap mare along the way. Frost hauls up the deadman and twists into an abdominal stretch. Deathbringer shows no pain. Slowly, Frost steps around and into a cross face chicken wing, setting up his wing-bridge suplex. Frost doesn't get that far as 'Bringer seizes the opportunity to run backwards into the ring post. He smashes Frost twice before the stretch is released.] BL: Y'know, Marilyn appeared nude on a calendar. Coincidentally, I appeared in a calendar... LM: Please don't continue. BL: ...for the IIWF. You really must get control of that runaway mind of yours. [Deathbringer whips Frost hard to the corner. Frost hits and sags. 'Bringer follows up with a shoulder, but Frost ducks, bodylaunching the deadman over the ropes. Deathbringer hits the concrete but quickly sits up. There is a cry from the Soldiers of Hell at ringside. Deathbringer rises, he extends a raised hand to his minions and a number of the gloomy band reach out to touch his hand.] BL: Now that is particularly upsetting. LM: That Deathbringer has so many fans? BL: It's just that the only reason they like him around here is that they think he'll bring Kurt Cobain back from the... LM: LOOK OUT! [Frost climbs down behind, a minion shouts, and Deathbringer ducks the forearm shot and delivers one of his own.] LM: Now you know why Deathbringer has minions, Becky. BL: I'm pretty sure that they can still cure it with penicillin. [The two exchange blows on the outside. The refs count continues - 4 - 5 - Deathbringer locks on the Death Claw. Frost tries to spin and escape the pain. 'Bringer drags him by the head to the apron. Count goes to 7 - 8 - Deathbringer steps into the ring, reaches over the ropes, and vertically suplexes Frost back in.] LM: That was close. BL: To what? ['Bringer throws Frost to the ropes, Frost rebounds, catching Deathbringer with an amazing tilt-a-whirl powerbomb. Frost cover - 1 - Frost rises up when, unexpectedly, "The Machine" Hunter Robinson walks down the aisle. Frost goes to the corner to face him. "The Machine" just stands in the aisle. Deathbringer sits up. 'Bringer grabs the distracted Frost, belly to back suplex, leg drop, scoop slam. 'Bringer drags him to the top rope.] LM: He's going to use his drop off the ropes finisher. BL: If you call it "The Burial" then everyone will know what you're talking about. [Deathbringer drops "the Burial" piledriver. Frost goes limp. Deathbringer kneels across his victems shoulders. Then is a wave of noise from the back as Tiger Claw and Joe Latta rush the ring, pushing their way by "The Machine" where he stands. They are too late to stop the count. 1 - 2 - 3! The Ref raises 'Bringer's hand. The lights go out.] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: Deathbringer! [The lights return to find the referee holding nothing. "Machine" shakes his head at the immobile Frost. Tiger Claw and Joe Latta look bewildered. There is a huge pop as Deathbringer is seen standing behind them. With massive hands, he crashes the heads of the the two Syndicate members together. They fall, as again, so do the lights. Two glowing red eyes appear on the video wall, and a rasping voice echoes around the Kingdome:] DB: Tiger Claw... Joe Latta... once more you try to cheat death. Once more you are no match for the Deathbringer. This Saturday Night, you must step into the squared circle to face the reaper. Whatever cowardly tricks you have planned will fail. The dark destroyer and his Soldiers of Hell will ensure that. Claw... Latta... prepare to meet your maker! [When the lights return, all the combatants retreat backstage.] LM: How do you top that? BL: Talking about topping, hey Larry, watch out for that ceiling tile. LM: [Looking up suddenly] What? Where! BL: Just checking your reflexes. This is the Kingdome, after all. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ First Blood Match: The Hangman vs. Venusian Death Cell _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ LM: If ever there were a violent match in the IIWF, this would have to be the one, Becky. BL: Want me to go over the rules for all the morons at home? LM: Sure, go ahead. BL: There are no rules! The first man who bleeds and can't go on, loses. Sure there is a doctor at ringside, but he can be used as a weapon as well. And the match can go anywhere in the arena -- the stands, the broadcast booth, or even the men's room... yeah, like that would happen. LM: It's definitely a violent match, but the Venusian Death Cell is looking for a little vengeance to make up for the hanging Altair received last week at the hands of the Hangman. BL: Yeah, that put Altair out of wrestling... seemingly for good, but the Posse want to make Hangman pay. LM: Let's go up to the ring! [Sparkplug Lee climbs back into the ring and the "Spark-Plug" chant begins again.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a special First Blood Match. Introducing first, from Laredo, Texas and weighing in at 322lbs, accompanied to the ring by the Senator, he is: the Haaaaaangman! [Heel pop as the Senator leads Hangman to the ring. The Hangman's fists are taped to inflict more damage to the Death Cell.] SL: And his opponent, from Venus, and weighing in at 332 pounds, accompanied to the ring by "Outlaw" Josey Wales, here is: the Venuuuuuusian Death Cell! [Another big heel pop as Josey Wales leads VDC to the ring. The camera gets a closeup of VDC's hands and it is evident that his fingernails have been cut razor-sharp.] BL: There's one thing I don't get about this. Both of these guys are masked, so it will be more difficult to make them bleed. Am I the only one who thinks around here? LM: I think that's up for debate. [The referee calls for the bell and VDC immediately charges and rakes at Hamgman's eyes. Hangman covers himself and begins punching at VDC's midsection. Hangman hits a low blow and VDC doubles over. Hangman grabs VDC by the mask and leaps over the top rope, snapping VDC's head against the rope.] LM: That's a good way to break a man's neck. BL: Too bad this isn't a "First Break" match, huh? [Hangman crawls back into the ring, kneels over VDC, and begins pounding on his face with his taped fists. He goes to the top turnbuckle, but VDC recovers and knocks Hangman off the turnbuckle and to the floor below. The Senator comes over to check on his man, but is met by VDC who grabs Senator by the throat and threatens to chokeslam him. Hangman recovers and hits VDC with a double ax-handle, but it has little effect on the VDC, who releases the Senator, turns, and begins brawling again with Hangman. The two spill over into the aisle as the fans begin shying away from the battle, go into the stands, and out one of the portals in the arena.] BL: I said this fight could go anywhere in the arena and these two seem to be ready to take it anywhere! LM: We've lost sight of both men. Keep the camera on them and by all means keep the fans away! [VDC and Hangman work their way to the mezzanine level where a crowd watches them battle by a concession stand. Hangman attempts to ram VDC's head into the glass countertop, but VDC reverses and pushes Hangman's head into the counter, which shatters. Red oozes across Hangman's mask and down his neck.] LM: Oh my god! Hangman is busted open. This is just too gruesome a match to watch. Why doesn't the referee stop it? BL: Maybe it's because Hangman's head hit a pile of ketchup on the countertop. Have a fear of tomatoes, do you Larry? LM: Oh. Sorry about that. [The battle moves to a nearby souvenir stand and posters and cups are strewn by the battle. Fans jump in to pick up loose copies of the "Ring Wars" video that fly from the broken stand. VDC reaches for an Alphabet Boys souvenir Elvis Lamp and breaks it over Hangman's head. Hangman hits the floor and VDC winds up for another strike when Larn and Steroid fly into the stand and tackle VDC. They begin mercilessly pummeling VDC, sending Tony Starks souvenir knee braces and "Dan Kauffman We Hardly Knew Ye" mugs flying from the stand. Hangman recovers, picks up the remains of the lamp, and clobbers VDC over the head.] LM: We've got pandemonium in the arena! Get some security out there! BL: The VDC is getting murdered. Where are his so-called Posse friends? LM: I've just been informed there is a disturbance backstage as well. Let's cut to that camera. [A IIWF official moves toward the sound of pounding on a locker room door that has been locked from the outside. Suddenly, pieces of debris fly as the door breaks and the Outlaw and the High Plains Drifters fly from the locker room. They knock down the IIWF official as they rush toward the mezzanine.] LM: I think that answers the question of where the Posse was. You don't think the Senator had anything to do with that locker room door being locked, do you? BL: Nah, that's why they call it a "lock"er room. [The Atomic Destroyers and Hangman continue to beat on VDC, who lies crumpled in a heap at their feet, when the members of the Posse reach the scene. The Senator and his men quickly leave as Outlaw and Pale and Easy Rider tend to their fallen comrade. The scene cuts back to Larry and Becky at the broacast table.] LM: I think the only word for this is "carnage." We've received word that this match has been declared another no contest, but that was a cheap shot extraordinaire by the Senator and his men! BL: Clean shots don't win titles, Larry. If the Posse want to play with the big boys, they've got to be ready for these little attacks. LM: Well, you can bet they'll be looking for even more revenge now. First Altair and now the Venusian Death Cell. We'll try to get an update on his condition before we leave the air tonight! Up next is our big main event, as Brad "Bodybag" Kinder challenges Tiger Claw for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship, but before that, we're going to hear some very big news about the upcoming pay-per-view spectacular, IIWF Midsummer Madness, direct from the offices of the IIWF President himself. [Cut to split screen, Larry sitting at the announcers' table on the left, and President Dan sitting in his office on the right.] LM: President Dan, thanks for joining us here tonight on Mayhem. DS: That's my pleasure, Larry. It's been a great night of action so far. LM: It certainly has! Mr. President, I understand that you have some big announcements concerning IIWF Midsummer Madness. DS: That's right, Larry. As you know, the vacant IIWF Championship will be awarded to the ultimate survivor of Midsummer Madness, who will have to be victorious not only in the initial four-on-four single elimination tag team match, but also in the final elimination match, which could come down to battling one's own tag team partner, until there is only one man standing. Here tonight, I'm going to announce the first couple of four-on-four matches. LM: Fantastic! Don't keep us in suspense any longer - let's hear them! DS: [smiling] Of course, Larry. In one matchup, Stunt Team USA and Law & Disorder will team to face the Armed Forces and the Alphabet Boys. And in another, the team of Tony Starks, Hunter "the Machine" Robertson, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare and The Punster will battle the team of Fisto Flash, "Showstopper" Simon Lebec, "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, and "Frost" Scott Morrison. What a match that promises to be! LM: Absolutely! Any more information for us, President Dan? DS: Not right now, Larry. But I can tell you that there are four matches yet to be announced, plus the final match, and there will be some big surprises in store! I'll have further announcements this weekend on IIWF Saturday Night. LM: Well, thanks for being here tonight, President Dan - I'll look forward to hearing more about this great event this weekend! DS: Don't mention it, Larry. Enjoy the rest of the show. [Cut back to normal shot of the announcers' table.] BL: Do you have to suck up to him like that? It's disgusting to sit here and have to listen to you fawning to that suit. LM: There's nothing wrong with having respect for your superiors, Becky. BL: Respect, is it? Well, respect _this_! [Larry howls as Becky stamps on his foot with her stilletto heel. While he whimpers, Becky speaks as if nothing has happened.] BL: Right now it's time for tonight's main event! My main man, the hunky Brad "Bodybag" Kinder, is going to capture the Intercontinental title from Tiger Claw. What a match this is going to be - although it's not going to compare with the celebratory party Brad and myself are going to have later on... ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Tiger Claw vs. Brad "Bodybag" Kinder _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Larry has recovered sufficiently to speak again.] LM: Who knows what we've going to see in this match, Becky? Every time Tiger Claw has been scheduled for a title defence lately, we've been seeing a lot of interference. The Subway Psycho's interference last week actually gained Brad Kinder a shot at the Intercontinenal Title. BL: Yeah, and Brad has a proper shot at the belt here tonight... I have a feeling he's going to be leaving the Seattle Kingdome with some gold around his waist. LM: About those feelings you've been having... is the hormone therapy working at all or... ouch! You've really got to stop beating on me, you know. BL: Not now, not ever. Let's get up to the ring! [Sparkplug Lee again basks in the glow of the "Spark-Plug, Spark-Plug" chant before raising the microphone to his mouth.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your main event for this evening! It is scheduled for one fall with the IIWF Intercontinental Championship on the line. Introducing first, the challenger, from the Arizona desert and weighing in at 295 pounds, he is one of the Dark Knights, he is . . . Brad "Bodybag" Kinnnnder! [Big heel pop as a single spotlight picks out Bodybag entering The Kindome alone. As Kinder walks toward the ring, ignoring the fans, fireworks explode in the rafters.] LM: What a show! It looks like this place is on fire! BL: Is Widdle Warry afwaid of fire too? LM: No, what I'm really afraid of is Brad Kinder coming to the ring alone tonight. With Lau and Latta in Tiger Claw's corner, this will be a three-on-one battle. BL: Don't you worry about Brad, hon. He can take care of himself. [The music switches to a definite Oriental theme as Sparkplug Lee again raises the microphone.] SL: And introducing the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, hailing from Thailand and weighing in at 220 pounds, he is accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau and Joe Latta, he is . . . Tigerrrrrr Claw! [A huge heel pop as Brian Lau leads Tiger Claw and Joe Latta into the arena. Garbage flies at the entourage and the three make their way down the aisle and Tiger Claw stops as a "Psy-cho, Psy-cho" chant begins at ringside and grows to the upper deck. The Kingdome is quickly rocking with the chant.] LM: It seems this crowd has already found a way to rankle the Intercontinental Champ! BL: Well, it _was_ Lau and Tiger Claw who led to the Subway Psycho being stripped of the IIWF World Championship last weekend. Did Lau expect his men to be cheered tonight? LM: You never know what to expect with Brian Lau. That's what worries me tonight. Forget winning. Will Brad Kinder be able to even survive this battle? BL: He's one of the toughest men in the IIWF . . . not mention one of the cutest. Brad can handle himself. [Tiger Claw enters the ring and prepares for the match as Kinder stretches in the opposite corner. The referee calls for the opening bell as Tiger Claw finishes disrobing and points his index finger at Kinder, who waves at Claw to bring it on. The two men circle and Tiger Claw swipes with a kick that Kinder narrowly avoids. They repeat this two more times before Kinder rushes Tiger Claw and slams him into the corner. He slaps two knife-edge chops to Tiger Claw's sternum before the champion counters with two chops of his own. They exchange blows and back into the middle of the ring before Tiger Claw's back heel kick floors Kinder.] LM: Look at those two go at it early in this contest. It's evident that neither man will leave any energy in the ring tonight. BL: This match is for a IIWF title. You'd better believe they are fired up. C'mon Brad! LM: Please Becky, we're supposed to be impartial. BL: Well, then, you root for Tiger Claw and even it up! [Tiger Claw drops a leg across Kinder's throat and follows with an elbow drop. He goes to the top turnbuckle to deliver a high elbow drop, but Kinder rolls out of the way and Claw slams his elbow into the mat. Kinder is quickly to his feet, lifts Tiger Claw, and hits a brainbuster. He covers: 1 - 2 - kickout!] BL: Dadgum it, that referee doesn't even know how to count to three. He spent five seconds trying to get "one" out of his count. LM: Now Becky, we have the best officials in professional wrestling in the IIWF. BL: Then it's unfortunate that they're sitting in the stands. [Kinder, frustrated by the possible slow count, drags Tiger Claw to his feet once again. He cuffs Claw's head and hits a big DDT, covering again: 1 - 2 - kickout! Kinder slaps the referee on the arm and again complains about a slow count. The referee refutes the claim as Kinder scoops up Claw and slams him to the mat. He then goes to the top turnbuckle and attempts to splash Claw, who pulls up his legs and rams them into Kinder's midsection. Both men are down.] LM: What a classic battle this is shaping up to be. Brian Lau may have gotten more than he bargained for when he gave Brad Kinder this title shot. BL: You'd better believe it, buster. Come on, Brad! [Tiger Claw eventually pulls himself to the ropes and regains his breath. Kinder gets back to his feet and charges Tiger Claw, but the champion sees him coming and floors him with a kick. Tiger Claw jumps on the second rope and moonsaults on top of Kinder. Cover: 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: What a comeback by the champion! Tiger Claw seems to be getting his second wind. BL: Stuff it, Larry! [Tiger Claw drags Kinder to his feet and begins his punching fury, dropping Bodybag to the mat. Lau and Latta beat on the ring apron with excitment as Claw climbs to the top rope and signals for the Golden Tiger Strike. He launches himself off the ropes and drives his knee into Kinder's head and goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - 3!] LM: No wait, it looked like a three count but Kinder had his leg on the bottom rope. The referee is calling for this match to continue. BL: That's the first thing this referee has done right all night! [Tiger Claw again pulls Kinder to his feet, whips him into the ropes, and floors him in the middle of the ring with a back heel kick. He then climbs to the top ropes once again as Lau and Latta cheer him from across the ring.] LM: There's no way Kinder can survive another Golden Tiger Strike -- not when he's in the middle of the ring. BL: Get up, Brad! Get up! [As Tiger Claw is about to launch himself again, the lights in the Kingdome go out. The video wall comes to life and all eyes in the arena are on two glowing red eyes that appear. As the lights come back on, Deathbringer is standing at the top of the aisle. Tiger Claw climbs down from the ropes and yells something to the corner. Latta races up the aisle toward Deathbringer, but no one seems to notice the Subway Psycho appear in the corner behind Tiger Claw. No one, that is, except for Larry and Becky.] LM: It's the Subway Psycho! He appeared along with Deathbringer and he's got . . . could it be?! BL: He's got the Intercontinental Belt in his hands! [As the referee watches Latta charge up the aisle, the Subway Psycho jumps to the ring apron, holds up the IC belt, and taps Tiger Claw on the shoulder. As Claw turns, Psycho hammers the belt into his head and the arena suddenly goes black again. The red eyes on the video wall slowly fade as laughter can be heard all over the Kingdome.] LM: What's going on, Becky? BL: I don't know. I can't see anyth.... [The Kingdome lights suddenly flicker back on and Deathbringer and Psycho have disappeared. The referee turns to see Brad Kinder on top of an unconscious Tiger Claw and dives to the mat to make the count. Lau suddenly sees what is going on and signals at Latta. 1 - 2 - Lau tries to dive into the ring - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop!] SL: Your winner . . . and the NEW IIWF Intercontinental Champion . . . "Bodybag" Brad Kinnnnnder! LM: We've got a new Intercontinental Champion! Brad Kinder has defeated Tiger Claw! BL: Yes! Yes! Yes! LM: I can't believe what I just saw! Brian Lau cost the Subway Psycho the world belt last weekend and the Psycho and Deathbringer cost Tiger Claw his belt tonight. BL: See, Larry? It _does_ all even up in the end! Yes! Yes! Yes! [Kinder accepts the gleaming Intercontinental belt from the referee and rolls out of the ring as Lau and Latta storm toward Tiger Claw. They feverishly work to revive him as Kinder staggers up the aisle holding the belt aloft. As he disappears from view, cut back to the announcers' table. Becky is standing, looking towards the head of the aisle, clapping wildly.] LM: Uh... Becky? Do you want to sit down, now? BL: [whistles, ignoring Larry] Go, Brad! LM: Apparently not. Wow, folks, what a night of action we've seen here tonight on Midweek Mayhem, topped off by that phenomenal victory for Brad "Bodybag" Kinder, who takes gold to the Dark Knights tonight! And that match adds a whole new dimension to this weekend's tag encounter between Claw, Latta, Deathbringer, and his unnamed partner, although we now know that it'll be the Psycho with the man from the dark side. What a match. I can barely catch my breath. [Becky finally sits down next to Larry.] BL: Yes! What a night we're going to have... can you hurry up and wind this thing up, Larry? LM: Of course. We're right out of time here in the Seattle Kingdome, but I've just about got enough time to remind you to tune in on Friday for another Control Centre update. There'll be more fantastic live ring action at the weekend on IIWF Saturday Night, which will originate from the Superdome in New Orleans, featuring that big tag match, and much much more! But, for now, this is Larry Morton for a euphoric Becky LaRue, saying: goodnight, everybody! [As the camera pans up towards the roof of the arena, where the huge IIWF banners hang, Becky can be seen hurriedly leaving the broadcasters' table with barely a glance at her fans, and making her way up the aisle. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+