##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Update - 26 July 1996 ----------------------------------------------- Hello, folks, and welcome once again to the IIWF Control Centre for another update. I'm Tim Dross, and what a packed show I've got for you today. I'll be: - getting comments from the brand new Intercontinental Champion, Brad "Bodybag" Kinder - running down the results and events of Wednesday night's Midweek Mayhem - updating you on the status of the tag team championship tournament - looking forward to tomorrow night's card, set to originate from the Superdome in New Orleans - giving you more details of the upcoming Midsummer Madness pay-per-view spectacular - and in my Dross Report, I'll be looking at one of the top-flight encounters from this weekend's Saturday Night ...and more! So let's get to it! IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 24 July 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was another hot and heavy night of wrestling action just a couple of days ago in the Seattle Kingdome that, amongst other things, saw the crowning of a new IIWF Intercontinental Champion! Let's run down the results: - The ARMED FORCES defeated the GUIDING LIGHTS with the AK47/ICBM combo, and after the match, Nate Lawson and Greg Augustine were jumped by Taylor of Steamroller, who is seeking revenge for the injury the Lights inflicted on Brassow a few weeks ago. - VINNY CAPPICOLA defeated PHANTOM when the other Dark Knights interfered. Cappicola got the DQ victory, but a brawl between the Family and the Knights erupted - and it wasn't to be the last time that evening, either. - FISTO FLASH defeated "NIFTY" NED NORTON [J] in record time, and then perpetrated a dastardly attack on his prone opponent, removing the padding from his steel fist and repeatedly punching Norton with it. The IIWF front office has levied Flash with a heavy fine, and awarded the winning share of the purse money to Norton. - "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC defeated ROBSKI on a countout when Fisto Flash came down to ringside and tried to attack Jasmine, Robski's girlfriend. Robski chased Fisto up the aisle, but failed to return in time to beat the count. - "LEGEND" BRANDON BENNETT pinned MAGUS with a sudden inside cradle at the climax of a match dominated by the lunatic, but Bennett's resilience helped him through. - DON ANTONIO defeated THE SANDMAN on disqualification when Phantom tripped the Don from the outside, sparking a huge brawl between the Family and the Knights. In an amusing little aside, the Don convinced the sound guy to play not the Sandman's usual theme music, but instead, a soppy love ballad. That move didn't go down too well with the Knights, but the fans loved it. And now, in what I am led to believe is the first of a regular segment, it's time to go to Dinner with the Don: [SCENE: a studio set. Don Antonio, Vinny Cappicola and Salvatore Fiorello sit behind a dinner table, and an audience sits behind the cameras.] VC: Hello everybody and welcome to da fuyst ever Dinna wit da DON show. Dis will be a time for da fans of da IIWF to meet and learn more about da DON and da Famiy - or as we like to call it, la famiglia. SF: That's right ladies and gentlemen. My name is Salvatore Fiorello, the manager of both Vinny Cappicola and Don Antonio. The purpose of this forum is for the fans to get meet the Family and understand what we are all about. Throughout the last few weeks, many of the fans have been uneasy in accepting the Don's transition from a doer of bad deeds to a doer of good and defender of justice here in the IIWF. DA: That's correct, Sal; I can understand the hesitation of the people who support the league to accept me due to my alleged shady past. The first thing I want to say is that I've never once been convicted of anything in my lifetime. VC: No kidding DON, da proskecution neva proved nothin. Dat guy put his feet in a shoebox full o wet cement and jumped off da boat like I always said on da stand! SF: Okay Vinny, you've got one heck of an imagination, doesn't he folks?! Anyhows, the first order of business on the premier episode of Dinner with the DON is to recap the matches we've been involved in this weekend. Vinny, that was an excellent match against the Phantom, I must say he proved to be not much of a challenge for you. VC: You said it Sal, I thought dis guy wuz gonna be tough but what a loser. I wiped his head wit da mat and all he could do wuz call for his buddies da "Dark Knights" ooohhhhh thats sounds tough. Personally, I'd rather have fought that SPAM guy from da old days. What a fat slob he wuz but eh, I still say he coulda squashed the Phantom. DA: You must admit though, the Phantom is quite a fitting name for him, he hardly did anything, I didn't even know he was there. SF: Oh yes DON, and your match with the Sandbag, what a match that was. I was reading in the Sandbag's profile how he never cheats but was a technical wrestler, and I guess he did try to get us on technicalities because technically he didn't cheat, but his partners did by interfering in a clean match that would have been won by the DON. Ladies and gentlemen, fans of the IIWF, the Family was bumrushed this weekend not once but twice. We are willing to stand up for the honor of the IIWF. You must stand behind us as well!! Without you we are nothing. DA: You know, I got to say that at Midweek Mayhem the family quickly disposed of 2/3 of the "Dark Knights". Phantom, you were cake, Sandbag, you were pie... KINDER! I want you next! Now you've got something I want. It would have been very simple for me to ruin your chance at the belt but because of my good ways, I decided against it. Now Mr. Kinder I will go through legal channels to attain that Championship. Like I said Kinder, you're next! You're man enough to bumrush Vinny and myself, but are you man enough to take me on one on one? We'll find out. [The crowd goes wild] SF: Young man, young man [pointing at a boy in the audience], come on up here. Young Boy: [walks up to the Family]Hello Sirs, I don't know whether to shake your hand or kiss it. DA: Oh no little man, I wanted you up here to let you know something. Do you know why I want to go out there and beat up on, I mean defeat Kinder for the belt? YB: Because you want to take fulfill a personal vendetta? DA: Well, partially, but I want to go out there and beat these evil people so they have no chance of becoming your role models. I want you to look up to people like the American Heroes, Vinny, Sal, and myself. I want you to dream the impossible dream then go out there and get it. I want you to be the best you can be! [The crowd begins to chant but it is not understandable for a few seconds until the American Heroes appear out of nowhere joining the Family on stage. The fans are cheering "U - S - A! U - S - A!" The American Heroes and the Family raise their hands high together.] Well, the Family is clearly trying to do their best with the public relations, and it seems to be working, and Vinny Cappicola will go up against Brad Kinder tomorrow night. - In tag team tournament action, STUNT TEAM USA put away the lacklustre RETURNERS, who are now in the biggest slump of form of any of the IIWF's tag teams. Ron and Steve got the victory when the Guiding Lights ran down to ringside and jumped them, causing the Returners to be disqualified. Rumours abound that the Returners may be set to leave the league soon. We'll have more on the tag tournament later. - "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON forced "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER to submit to his painful armbar at the climax of a match which saw Bomber pull off some great moves. However, in the end it was Sexton who managed to put his big opponent away. Nobody has yet managed to reverse Sexton's armbar... - DEATHBRINGER defeated "FROST" SCOTT MORRISON by pinfall with the Burial piledriver. Morrison had been distracted by the arrival of arch-enemy Hunter "the Machine" Robertson at ringside, and that seemed to adversely affect his performance. Tiger Claw and Joe Latta, who had been popping up around the arena throughout the evening dressed like Deathbringer, charged the ring, but a little too late to save Morrison. - THE HANGMAN defeated the VENUSIAN DEATH CELL in a wild First Blood Match that took the combatants all over the arena. The Atomic Destroyers came out to assist the Hangman in his task, but the Posse were unable to help, since they had been locked in their locker rooms by the Senator's men! They eventually busted out of their makeshift prisons and went to the aid of the VDC, but a little too late. It seems the VDC will be out of action for some time, having sustained several injuries from the assault. The Posse aren't going to take this lying down. Let's hear from them now: [Fade in on the New Mexico desert. Josey Wales and his Posse are standing around a pit and Wales is carefully shaking a rattlesnake out of a bag and into the pit. The Outlaw, the Crippler, and Pale and Easy Rider watch as the snake begins rattling its tail and rears its head at Wales.] JW: Boys, there is a problem facing the Posse and we're going to deal with it in our own way. The Senator and his varmints won't face us like men. They sneak around like snakes waiting to strike. Well, let me show you what we do to snakes around here. [Wales skillfully draws the snake's attention with his left hand. As it strikes, Wales moves with lightning quickness, not only avoiding the snake's fangs but also grabbing its head with his right hand. He squeezes the life right out of the serpent and throws it beyond the pit. He then shakes another rattlesnake into the pit.] JW: That's the way we treat the Senator and his men from now on. Now which of you wants to give it a try? [Pale and Easy look at each other. The Crippler stands with an unchanged look on his face, showing no fear. The Outlaw walks back to his horse, pulls a Winchester from his saddle, returns to the pit and blows the snake's head off.] MO: We all have different ways of accomplishing things, Josey. The bottom line is that the same job gets done. I've injured Tony Starks, put Flare out of wrestling, been in bar fights and run with the devil. But I've never been more upset about something than what took place at Midweek Mayhem when the Senator and his so-called men not only attacked the Venusian Death Cell, but were so afraid of us that they locked us in the locker room. I'm no choir boy, but at least I face my opponents. Hangman, you'll be the first to pay. [The Outlaw cocks the Winchester in a single motion and puts another bullet in the dead snake in the pit.] JW: I reckon that's as effective as any other method. How do the rest of you boys plan on avenging Altair and VDC? [The Crippler turns his icy stare on Wales and it is evident he is thinking back to the events of the past two weeks as Altair and the Venusian Death Cell were seriously injured at the hands of the Senator's men.] TC: Senator, you are already afraid of us. Already running. And you have not yet seen the awesome power that we possess. Yes Senator, even you will be destroyed, brought down into dust. As for the men that would work for such a craven coward as you, I have but one warning . . . prepare to be CRIPPLED!!!!! [Pale and Easy Rider, fired up by their colleagues' actions and words, turn to Wales.] PR: Mr. Wales, Easy and I have decided to take our destinies into our own hands. Up 'til now you have not only been our manager and coach, but you've been our father figure and baby sitter. ER: We've taken steps to ensure that we can live up to your standards, and to justify our presence in the company of the Crippler and, of course, the Outlaw. We're also seeking vengence for Altair and VDC. [Josey Wales and the Outlaw look at each other and smirk] JW: Okay, I'll bite. What have you two been up to? PR: Well, I don't want to give everything away...but you'll be pleased on Saturday, I'll tell you that. ER: We've also signed up for a match with Law and Disorder, since we've got some time to kill. PR: We're gonna prove to the them and the IIWF that we follow no laws, and that we sure as hell don't know no order. [Pale Rider dumps yet another snake into the pit. He stares the serpent dead in the eyes, mesmerizing it, luring it towards Easy Rider. As the snake lunges towards Pale Rider, Easy's leg swings through and he slices the snake's head off with the spur on his boot.] PR: The High Plains Drifters are one, perfect wrestling unit. I trust Easy with my life. ER: And we devote our lives to the Posse. That we vow. We're comin' after any of those who have have dared to mix it up with the Posse! Make no mistake...its not revenge we're after... PR: It's a reckoning. ER: Law & Disorder, prepare to made into an example! Atomic Destroyers, Hangman, Senator, buy your tombstones! PR: We're comin' and hell's comin' with us! JW: [Nods his head, appearently liking the Drifters' new found initiative] Well, didn't think you had that in you. [Turns to Outlaw and Crippler] Even I'm afraid of 'em now. [The Outlaw and Crippler slap Pale and Easy on their backs as the Posse head back to their horses. Fade to black.] - In the main event of the evening, BRAD "BODYBAG" KINDER defeated TIGER CLAW to become the new IIWF Intercontinental Champion! Deathbringer provided a distraction at the head of the aisle, causing Lau and Latta to go after the man from the dark side, but it was a classic case of misdirection, for the Subway Psycho appeared at ringside and nailed Claw with his own championship belt, allowing Kinder to get the pinfall. Poetic justice, to be sure. And let's hear from the poet and his partners, the new Intercontinental Champion and the rest of the Dark Knights: [SCENE: The Knights' throne room. A camera close up of a spider wrapping up his prey, it refocuses on the Knights and Steve Roberts seated on thrones in a semi-circular fashion.] SR: First off I'd like to congratulate the new IC champion Brad Kinder on a well-deserved victory. What's next for you, champ? BK: Up next is the demise of Don Antonio's Family, the first stable we plan to dismantle and destroy. I think it's pretty clear now that we're a force to be reckoned with. SR: Why the Family? Any past grudges with these guys? Sandman: Well Steve, if you untangle the snarled web of the past you will find that the Don has crossed paths with a colleague of ours. You see, we don't pick out random victims like a spider waiting for a fly, we carefully hunt our enemies. SR: I see, and because of this colleague, was that the reasoning behind the Horsemen-like actions at Midweek Mayhem? Sandman: If you are referring to the interference, that was not my intention. I am a Knight, I fight with honor and by those actions I deserved to lose. I cannot speak for my fellow Knights nor will I discourage what they do. There are times where you must fight fire with fire. SR: And you, Phantom, you've been quiet... any words for the morons out in TV-land? Phantom: All you fans who are behind Don Antonio's Family, I have four words for you: you can stick it. I don't care about those stupid humanoids or any wrestlers in this fed other than the Dark Knights. As far as I am concerned, all the wrestlers in this fed are chicken and scared of the Knights. All the champions are afraid of losing their titles to us, and why not? Because that's what's going to happen anyway. SR: Ouch! Anything in closing? Sandman: The Phantom is right, we're not fan favorites. The people use hatred to express fear and they fear the unknown... which is us. This everlasting hate is what drives me, it fills the dark void in my life and fuels my rage. So Don, as I prepare to unleash the demons in my soul, be ready for anything! The Knightmare is coming... Roberts: And you, Bodybag? Kinder: Well, now that I have the IC belt, I've proven I can whip anyone's ass at any given time. Claw and the Syndicate? They're all but dead, even Subway Psycho tore those guys apart. The Family is next, prepare for the DARKNESS to reign over your ENTIRE career and life. And, if anyone wants an IC shot, bring it on and I'll show why you I'M the champ. [The camera pans out and fades to black.] I've never heard Brian Lau as upset as he is right now. Let's get his comments: [SCENE: The locker room area of the Kingdome after the IC championship match on Midweek Mayhem. Kenny Tanaka, Joe Latta, Brian Lau, and Tiger Claw are present. Tiger Claw sits on a bench with his head in his hands.] KT: Hello, folks. I'm Kenny Tanaka, and I'm coming to you from the locker room of Tiger Claw. We've just seen one of the most heinous acts in the IIWF. Tiger Claw has been cheated of the Intercontinental championship belt. BL: Cheated is right, Kenny. And right in the middle is The Subway Psycho. Psycho, maybe you think this is some form of justice... And yes, I guess there is a similarity here... You lost your belt because of your criminal actions. Tiger Claw also lost his belt because of your criminal actions. You had NO BUSINESS being in the ring tonight, let alone in the building. This Saturday, We're going to end your career. Deathbringer... [At the sound of Deathbringer's name, Tiger Claw jumps up and executes an axe kick on the bench he was sitting on. His heel comes crashing down onto the wood, causing the bench to splinter into many pieces. Tiger Claw goes storming off.] BL: Oh, Deathbringer... You have meddled in our affairs too often. Both you and Psycho will know the pain of broken bones along with broken spirits. You two are marked, and I see plenty of misery in your future. JL: Deathbringer, your ass is mine. You had me pissed off way long ago, and ºÑºÓyou've got Tiger Claw pissed at you. Deathbringer, we're going to break that big thick skull of yours and then take that mask off to show everyone that you're a normal guy like the rest of us. We're going to break you and humiliate you. Then we're going to parade that mask around the town like a trophy. Psycho, we're going to make it so you will never have the chance to fight for the belt again. In fact, we're going to make it so you can only eat baby food through a straw. You may have preferential treatment in Midsummer Madness, but it won't matter because you won't make it there... We're going to bury the two of you, and then plant the Coroner into the floor as a headstone. BL: Victory WILL be ours. Now there's another matter I need to address. Brad Kinder... Congratulations on your victory. You realize, of course, that Tiger Claw is entitled to a rematch. I'm sure you'd want it that way. I'm sure you can't be happy with the way you won that belt. The IC belt is a singles belt, yet you were not alone in the victory. I know you're sitting there and it's eating you up inside. You're thinking to yourself, "Damn, I don't deserve this honor." I'm sure you want Tiger Claw in a rematch to prove you can do it yourself. Next week Kinder, we want a rematch. I know you'll agree to the terms. [A scream from Tiger Claw comes from the back, followed by a crashing sound. Kenny cringes.] KT: Ummm... Any more words about Midsummer Madness, Brian? BL: To be honest, Kenny, I haven't really given it much thought lately... Last week I offered Haley a job with the Syndicate, but I can't be too sure what the results might be, since he's such close friends with Kinder. Now, we haven't treated Kinder with any disrespect, but who knows how his feelings are. Haley is good friends with Kinder, so I don't know how he feels... I want to say right now that auditions will be held for positions on the Syndicate team during Midsummer Madness. Haley, you were the first person I made the offer to, so I'll give you preferential treatment. My number is in the book. KT: Well, there you have it, folks... Until next time, for Brian Lau, Joe Latta, and, uh, Tiger Claw, this is Kenny Tanaka saying so long! [Fade] All in all, it was an incredible night of wrestling action! A new champion, announcements about the upcoming PPV, subterfuge, confusion, and Becky LaRue. What more could a wrestling fan ask for? IIWF Tag Team Championship Round Robin Tournament ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There are only four matches remaining to be battled in the IIWF Tag Team Tournament. Let's take a look at the brackets: | |A|S|R| | | |B|T|e|A| |H|o|U|t|t| |P|y|S|'|o| |D|s|A|s|m| Key: ---------------------+-+-+-+-+-+ High Plains Drifters |\|A|H|H| | H = Drifters win ---------------------+-+-+-+-+-+ A = Alphabet Boys win Alphabet Boys |A|\|U| | | U = Stunt Team USA win ---------------------+-+-+-+-+-+ R = Returners win Stunt Team USA |H|U|\|U| | D = Atomic Destroyers win ---------------------+-+-+-+-+-+ The Returners |H| |U|\|D| ---------------------+-+-+-+-+-+ Atomic Destroyers | | | |D|\| ---------------------+-+-+-+-+-+ 27/7/96: Atomic Destroyers vs. Alphabet Boys 31/7/96: Returners vs. Alphabet Boys Atomic Destroyers vs. Stunt Team USA 3/8/96: Atomic Destroyers vs. High Plains Drifters As I'm sure you can see, these four matches really demonstrate that the Atomic Destroyers have the potential to totally turn the course of the tournament around and snatch the gold from current favourites, the High Plains Drifters. Of course, having said that, should Stunt Team USA defeat the Destroyers in their match next Wednesday, then it could be Ron and Steve who take home the gold! Any of those three teams could take home the gold. We'll just have to wait and see how things pan out. Trash Talk ~~~~~~~~~~ Let's get comments from Tony Starks, who remains at the centre of controversy about that mysterious man seen last weekend: [SCENE: Tony Starks is in a pizzeria near where he grew up in New York. While sitting at the counter he is approached by a few fans who would like a picture or an autograph. He gladly accommodates them.] TS: This is where I grew up, I used to come in here when I was a kid and hang with my friends after school. I trained in that gym across the street. That is where I first learned my craft. I spent long hard hours in that gym, I even fought for the Golden Gloves in there. But, like most kids who grow up in New York, my life was difficult, to say the least. I was no angel, by any stretch of the word. My childhood was cut short. Here, you don't have any time to play around. You grow up fast here. But, for all the hardships that I endured, I found out a lot about myself. That is what is going to carry me past this injury and up into the elite here in the IIWF. I have dealt with people like Lebec and Sexton before. Dimestore hoods and Pretty Boy Thugs are a dime a dozen here. They don't last. You want to know about tough? Tough is not something you learn boys, it is something you are. Get ready for hell. [In middle of his talk, Starks is interupted by two men in nice, expensive clothes. They stand out among the people in the eatery. They push aside a few kids who are sitting near Starks, and get in the way of the camera. A look of anger is on Starks' face.] TS: Well, long time no see. I know what you are here for. You can carry a message for me, you tell him that I am not interested in his offer. I am not like that anymore, I don't want anything to do with him, you two or anything associated with him. You got that? Now, get out of my face, you got it? [One of the two men give Starks a set of keys] Man #1: Maybe this will change your mind Tony, consider it a gift from your old friends. We will be in touch. TS: You goons are not my friends anymore! Get out of my way before I cripple both of you! [Two men leave, Starks walks outside to see a new Mercedes in front of the pizzeria. Starks looks more angry, he looks to a construction crew on the street, runs over and picks up a sledge hammer. He bangs the car time and again, screaming at the two men. The car is destroyed. The two men shake their heads and walk away] TS: [shouting after them] You tell him, I said to go to hell, if he steps up again, what I did to this car will be done to him. [Starks hits the car, one last time, right in the front windshield. Fade] IIWF Saturday Night - 27 July 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There's another great card in prospect tomorrow night, folks. We'll be coming live from the Superdome in New Orleans, Louisiana, and here's the lineup: High Plains Drifters vs. Law & Disorder [D] The top-ranked IIWF tag team takes on one of the promising new teams to hit the league in this exciting encounter. Pale and Easy have been under orders from their mentor, Josey Wales, to be more brutal and more punishing in the ring. They regard this encounter as a tune-up match before they meet their arch-rivals, the Atomic Destroyers, next Saturday in the final match of the tag team tournament. However, Marshall and Ace won't just lie down and let the Drifters trample over them. This promises to be a fast-paced, action-packed encounter. Robski vs. Enforcer [D] The English sensation hasn't been a happy bunny as of late here in the IIWF, and he's now challenging the Enforcer to a match in order to turn his fortunes around. Will the powerful Brit put the Enforcer away with his jacknife powerbomb? We'll have to wait and see. For now, let's get comments from Robski: [SCENE: the interior of a plush club, Robski is there with Max. They are sitting in large, crimson, leather chairs, and each is smoking a large Cuban cigar. They have just enjoyed a large meal] Max: I am SO FULL, I can't move. Robski: Ooh, and me, perfect training for my upcoming matches [rubs his stomach] Max: Who needs to work in the gym when you can enjoy the finest foods? Robski: And drinks... [The waiter brings over two large brandies] Robski: Oh, life is _SO_ hard for me. Max: Hey Lebec, drag yourself out of your slum, get a bit of money and live a bit... Who wants to be poor all their life? Robski: Not me! I inherited a pile of cash and now I am earning even more, life is a bowl of cherries for me with a particularly large dollop of cream on the top, and the icing on the cake will be beating Simon Lebec. Max: And the endorsements will roll in. Robski: I will get nearer to the belt. Max: And I, er we, will get richer. Robski: And Fast Fighter, don't think I have forgotten about you and that manager Robo Stone who is always by your side, ready to rub every little bruise better. I have hammered you EVERY time I have met you and if you are so FOOLISH as to want another match then you have got one. As for the stip, that is FINE by me, or how about a stretcher match, or an Iron Man match. To me it doesn't matter, I am, after all, the English sensation. Max, whose is this pint of beer? Max: That's yours. [The waitress brings over two more brandies, Robski gulps his down, and gulps the one the waitress has just brought over.] Robski: Two more please, large ones. Max: They're $30 each! Robski: I know, great isn't it, some paupers over here don't spend that in a month [laughs]. I LOVE to spend my money. [Fade] Fisto Flash vs. Taylor (Steamroller) [D] With Taylor's tag partner, Brassow, on the mend, the former co-holder of the IIWF Tag Team Championship wants to get back into the ring to tune-up for Steamroller's return. However, to have Fisto Flash close the open contract must be of some concern to Taylor and his manager, Dave Albanese, since the iron destroyer has been on a roll as of late. Taylor will have to use his superior agility and speed to keep out of the way of Fisto's high-powered offence. The Punster vs. Curt Blanche [J] [D] The Punster may be a little bruised following his assault at the hands of Blackjack Haley last weekend, but his spirit is undented, and he'll be taking to the ring against a strangely aptly-named opponent, one Curt Blanche. I would expect the Punster to make short work of Blanche, so that he can move on to the main course next Wednesday. Armed Forces vs. Stunt Team USA DefCon and NavCon can't wait to get Ron and Steve into the ring - they seem to have been looking forward to this match for a very long time. Can they fire at Stunt Team USA and forget them? Ron and Steve have been doing very well for themselves at the moment, and are only narrowly ranked second to the Drifters in the current standings, but a victory over the Armed Forces could catapult them into the number one spot. Let's hear from Ron and Steve now: [SCENE: Steve and Ron are sitting in a park, vast areas of flowers, grass and trees around them] Steve: "It's beautiful here. Really beautiful..." Ron: "Ya bet! Armed Forces, we often come to this wonderful place and relax. We reflect about the things that lie ahead and right now we're reflecting about our upcoming encounter. Forces, ya say that we're no true Americans, we didn't earn our name 'coz we did not spend five years in the army. Ya know what? Ya're right, we didn't serve in the army. But I like it this way and we're proud of our nation and would fight for its honor any way we know how. I really appreciate the work the army does, but if I look at people like you I can understand where all those rumors come from. What rumors? Well, for example that all those soldiers are rotten, no-good, killer idiots. Hey, they're not, I know that. After all my father served his country during the Vietnam crisis, and I'm proud of him. But ya guys really make me mad. In fact, if every soldier was like you two guys I don't think that Steve and me could still sit in this wonderful park. Considering the death and destruction you spread I guess this would be some wasteland by now. Tomorrow night we'll meet in the squared circle and, whoa, we sure want to teach ya guys a lesson." Steve: "By the way, ya said ya wanted to show all those good people out there the next IIWF tag team champions... No offense, but what is it ya wanna do? Point with your fingers at us?" [Ron and Steve break out in some laughter.] Ron: "Ya're a disgrace to every American. But as I said before, we'll fight for the honor of the USA and for you there will be nothing left but Fire&Forget!" Steve and Ron: "CUT!" [Fade] IIWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: Atomic Destroyers vs. Alphabet Boys What is there to say about this match? There are a great many imponderables to consider here: whether the Destroyers will be too preoccupied with the Drifters; whether the Alphabet Boys will be focussed on the match or more interested in various ringside objects; whether the Drifters will show up at ringside. Victory for either of these teams will put them second to the Drifters in contention for the gold, so there's everything to fight for. The Alphabet Boys might not have grasped this fact, however: [SCENE: The arena parking lot. The Alphabet boys seem a trifle suprised when the camera appears.] Zed: So they're saying that the Alphabet Boys have lost their edge. Abie: Yeah. Zed: They think we can't match up to the other tag team in this fed. Abie: Yeah! Zed: Have we lost it Abie? Abie: YEAH! Zed: You tell 'em! Abie: We got edge. We got all sorts of edgetudeness. Our edgetude is the best edgeness in the IIWF. Zed: So what does that mean for the rest of our competition? Abie: I don't know. Zed: I don't know either. [To the cameras] Go away. [The camera lingers long enough to see Abie fish a broken baby buggy out of the trash while Zed sits, contemplating his earlier conversation. Fade] "Showstopper" Simon Lebec & "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. American Heroes As we found out on Wednesday, Lebec and Sexton will be teaming at Midsummer Madness to take on the team comprising Billy Shakespeare and friends. This Saturday we'll get to see whether they can operate as a partnership as they take on Casey James and the Man Of Steel. It promises to be a very interesting match. IIWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Brad "Bodybag" Kinder vs. Vinny Cappicola The new Intercontinental Champion makes his first defence of the title against the presently undefeated right-hand man of Don Antonio, Vinny Cappicola. Can Vinny take the gold home to the rest of the Family? Or will the Dark Knights triumph this time? If the respective colleagues of these two athletes show up at ringside, expect the unexpected tomorrow night! No Rules Match: Frost "Scott" Morrison vs. "Machine" Hunter Robertson In this match, there are literally no rules. There are no countouts, no disqualifications, no submissions, no pinfalls - the match continues until the referee stops it because one of the competitors is not fit to continue any more. These two athletes have had it in for one another since they first arrived in the IIWF, and even if one of them is stretchered out of the arena tomorrow night, is it really going to be the end of their feud? I doubt it. Frost had his baptism by fire on Wednesday and was nearly melted by the Deathbringer, while Hunter has yet to face any tough competition other than Morrison himself. Who's going to come out of this one on top? Again, these two guys will be on opposing teams at Midsummer Madness -- that is, unless one of them gets so seriously injured in this match that they don't make it to Midsummer Madness. Hunter is quietly confident that he's going to come out on top in this one: [SCENE: Hunter Robertson is in the IIWF interview area.] HR: Frost, I guess you bit off a little bit more than you could chew. [grinning] You should know not to dance with death or you will get burned. [the grin disappears and a look of seriousness strikes] Frost, let's get one thing straight: what happened last at Mayhem, is just the begining of what will be happening to you. You and me are far from being over, this is going to be a wild ride and you are not going to walk away from it. I know we are slated on different teams at the next Pay Per View. Good. I am going to take you to school, and it will be the school of hard knocks. Think about it. . . [Fade] The Outlaw vs. The Hangman The leader of the Posse, former world champion the Outlaw, has vowed that he will exact revenge on the Hangman for the incapacitation of two of the Posse's members, Altair and the Venusian Death Cell. Altair has been forced to retire, while the Cell is currently injured following the First Blood Match on Wednesday. Will the Hangman manage to take out another member of the Posse, and come another step closer to completing the task the Senator has hired him for? Or will the Outlaw buck the trend and eke out his characteristic brand of cattle bustin' justice on the Hangman? Either way, this should be a classic match. Deathbringer & Mystery Partner vs. Tiger Claw & Joe Latta This match has got everybody in the IIWF talking - including myself. I'll be looking at tomorrow night's main event in more detail later on in my Dross Report. But before we leave this segment, let's get comments from the Deathbringer: [SCENE: The mortuary. The Coroner is alone.] The Coroner: "Brian Lau, you really scare me. You say you can defend yourself. You're just so dangerous... Lau, this league is not a place where big boys play. This is the IIWF, this is the place where real men get to work. Any tricks tomorrow night and you might be my next client... But now let's hear from Death himself..." [Fade. As the screen comes back you see Deathbringer who stands somewhere in the moors beside an old oak. His face is hidden by the cowl.] Deathbringer: "Claw, Latta, Lau... So you try to make fun of me and you try to imitate my so-called tricks. You still think that I am nothing but a normal human being. Now you may believe what you like, believe that I am a normal human being and I guess you will find yourself in your worst nightmare tomorrow night. One way or another this normal human being together with his brother of darkness already cost you the Intercontinental Title. What could be the next thing that you lose? But not only will you have to face me, you will also have to face my tag team partner whose name I will not reveal until we are all standing in that squared circle. Maybe, just maybe, I made it too obvious who it will be and maybe you, Brian Lau, are more intelligent than I had suspected. But we will see this in just a few hours from now on. Claw and Latta, every breath leaves you one less until your last. Enjoy your remaining time, enjoy the rest of your life. Tomorrow night you will obey the reaper, you will be taken six feet under and you will meet your maker." [Deathbringer raises his head and the camera closes up to his piercing-red eyes] Deathbringer: "Prepare..." [Fade] All in all, it's another fabulous card. If you can make it down to the Superdome in New Orleans, then you should move heaven and earth to be there! There's nothing quite like experiencing the IIWF live! Otherwise, don't forget to tune in tomorrow night as myself and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts bring you all the action. IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 31 July 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here's the preliminary lineup for next Wednesday's card: - IIWF Tag Team Championship Tournament Matches: = Returners vs. Alphabet Boys = Atomic Destroyers vs. Stunt Team USA - Knockout match: Fisto Flash vs. Robski - "Frost" Scott Morrison vs. The Punster - Prince of Darkness vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare - Mr. Damage vs. Man Of Steel - IIWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Brad Kinder vs. Subway Psycho More matches will be announced in time for our next Report on Tuesday. But before we move on, Fisto Flash has a few comments for Robski regarding their knockout match: [SCENE: the Stone Mansion's basement; where Fisto Flash is punching away at a bag. The bag is decorated with pictures of Robski.] Robo Stone: COME ON, FISTO! [holding a timer in his hand] Fisto Flash: ENGLAND!!!!! UGHUGHGUGHUGH!!!!! CLIFFORD!!!!! UGHUGHGUGHUGH!!!!! JASMINE!!!!! UGHUGHGUGHUGH!!!!! ROOOBBBSSSKKKIII!!!!! UGHUGHGUGHUGHHGHGHGHGGUGH!!!!!!!!! [Fisto strikes the bag so hard with his iron fist that the bag splits wide open] Robo Stone: TIME!!!!!!!! WOOOO!!!!! Great job, Fisto. You're definitely ready for that first knockout match with Robski. Fisto Flash: As if I needed to train. I'm not training to win. I'M TRAINING TO DESTROY!!!!!!! Robo Stone: Well, you're really gonna wreck 'im. You GOTTA get a title shot SOON, Fisto. You're the toughest man in the IIWF, you're the hardest puncher in the IIWF, AND you hold the record for the fastest pin in the IIWF!!!!! Fisto Flash: Yeah, well, lately I've been looking like a freakin' jobber to the stars. AND I DON'T LIKE IT!!!!!!! I'm the Iron Destroyer; and now that I'm reinstated I'm here with a vengeance. And I promise you Robo, I WON'T lose. Yobski's goin' OUT!!!!!!!! [Fisto Flash punches the broken bag another time and all the styrofoam inside spills out onto the floor. The two men start to walk back to the locker room as their voices start to fade.] Robo Stone: Nice shot, Fisto. Fisto Flash: Hey Robo, you think that maybe I should've stayed in boxing? Robo Stone: NAAHHH. You were ALREADY champion of the world; and right before they stripped you of the title for cripplin' that italian kid, you were facin' low-rate contenders, anyhow. Stay in wrestling; you'll hold the gold in no time. [Fade] IIWF Midsummer Madness - 17 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On Wednesday night at Midweek Mayhem, the IIWF President announced the first couple of matches for this great summer spectacular. First, let me just remind you that the vacant IIWF Championship _will_ be filled at Midsummer Madness. The survivors from each four-on-four single elimination tag team match will go on to participate in a final elimination match, which could come down to two team members going at it. The last man standing will be crowned the IIWF Champion! I hear rumours that Brian Lau's Syndicate is very close to completing their four-man lineup as they prepare to go up against a team led by their chief enemy, the Subway Psycho, who is guaranteed a place in that final championship match. The Senator is also said to be looking for a fourth member to go up against the Posse. We should have official announcements on these matches very soon. But let's take a look at the lineups in the two matches we _know_ we'll be seeing: THE PATRIOTS vs. BATTLE ZONE Ron Fire [c] NavCom [c] Steve Forget DefCon Marshall Law Abie Ace Maverick Zed What a curious mixture this match represents! Three of the four teams consider themselves patriotic, but two of the four are slightly nuts. Ron and Steve should team well with Marshall Law and Ace Maverick, but whether DefCon and NavCom, with their rigid military background, will be able to cope with the unorthodoxy of Abie and Zed remains to be seen. A very interesting clash of styles in this match, for sure! THE PERFORMERS vs. THE SHOWSTOPPERS Billy Shakespeare [c] Simon Lebec [c] The Punster Billy Sexton Tony Starks Fisto Flash Hunter Robertson Scott Morrison Some of the real heavyweights in the IIWF join up in this huge matchup! The lineup reads like a who's who in the IIWF, and I'm going to make sure I bring some protective clothing to the Garden for this match, because sparks are sure going to fly! There's no love lost between these two teams at all - Starks has had his problems with Lebec and Sexton, while Hunter is at loggerheads with Frost... this one's going to be explosive, folks! Let's get comments from the captain of the Performers, one Billy Shakespeare, who has a few words for my broadcast colleague, Steve Roberts: [The box office of the old theatre, Billy Shakespeare leans casually against the ticket window.] Billy: Tickets, tickets for the show. Starks, Punster, Machine, looks like we're all performing together. Being 0 for 2 against Starks, I'm happy to have him by my side. Words cannot describe the Punster, but his actions speak louder than his words. "Machine" I don't know you, but those that do speak highly. With the four of us together, It'll be standing room only at Midsummer Madness. But I seem to have two tickets left. One can't be for Brian Lau, for while no shirts and no shoes are fine, you gotta have a belt to get service. So it must be for Brad Kinder, a short check of your memory and you'll recall who the last man to beat you in the ring was. Come around any time you want your ticket punched. This last ducet, well, I don't know who that's for. But it has "Soundbite" Steve's name written all over it. It will be here waiting for you as soon as you find someone willing to claim it. There's still an empty seat for the show, but I'm waiting for a co-star. [Fade] The Dross Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In recent weeks, Deathbringer has transformed from being one of the most hated men in IIWF history to being one of the most loved. In today's Dross Report, I'm going to trace the course of that turn, as well as examining tomorrow night's big tag match pitting the dark destroyer and a mystery partner against former Intercontinental Champion Tiger Claw and Joe Latta. Let's go back to Ring Wars, at the end of June. Deathbringer was in that huge deathmatch with Dan "Flash" Kauffman, and at the climax of the encounter, after he put Kauffman away, Deathbringer expressed his respect for Kauffman. Hardly the attitude of an entity who possesses mysterious supernatural powers and who stalks the nights looking for souls to take to the dark side! But Deathbringer has always been an athlete who respects those who put up a good fight against him - he was cleanly pinned by the Subway Psycho in one of the biggest upsets in IIWF history in the run-up to Ring Wars, and yet now the two men are close allies. Indeed, it was Deathbringer who came to the aid of the Subway Psycho as the former IIWF Champion was being brutally attacked by the Syndicate when Brian Lau brought out Sasha, who turned on him. That marked the beginning of a cooperative alliance between the two - whenever one is in trouble, the other isn't far behind. And the two men are united in their quest to dissolve the Syndicate. But that in itself isn't remarkable. Cast your minds back to Midweek Mayhem just after Ring Wars. The Prince of Darkness was frustrated at a loss, and so attacked a Deathbringer fan at ringside. Deathbringer immediately came to the aid of his Soldier of Hell, and a huge brawl between himself and PoD broke out. For the first time, the fans were starting to cheer Deathbringer in great numbers. When he came to the rescue of the Subway Psycho, they went absolutely crazy! So Deathbringer no longer scares the fans - but he remains a highly intimidating opponent in the ring. He is a huge man, standing at nearly seven feet tall, and possessing some of the most devastating manouevres in the wrestling world. His Burial piledriver off the ropes is the most dangerous finishing move I've ever seen. Add to this his almost supernatural resilience, his ability to bounce back from pretty much any odds and any assault. He's certainly a better guy to have as an ally than as an enemy. But just who are Deathbringer's allies? Going into this match with Tiger Claw and Latta, the question remains: just who will that unnamed mystery partner be? I think the answer must be the Subway Psycho. Deathbringer and the Psycho have got an open alliance, and there's nothing that either of them want to see more than Brian Lau get his comeuppance. So why does Deathbringer make like the Psycho _won't_ be his partner? Again, I think the answer is simple: he's trying to throw the Syndicate off-guard. Brian Lau is a canny manager, he always seems to be one step ahead of the game -- well, perhaps until his man lost the title on Wednesday, but apart from that -- and opponents of the Syndicate usually go into their matches with a real disadvantage - that of not having Lau in _their_ corner. But whatever Lau's prowess as a manager, his lack of concern going into this match could be his team's downfall. He is confident that a fired-up Tiger Claw, furious at his IC title loss, and Joe Latta, who wants revenge on the Psycho for the loss in the Third Rail Match last week, will be enough to oust any partner that Deathbringer might bring to the ring. Perhaps both Lau and Deathbringer have a couple of surprises up their sleeves yet - I can honestly say that I am looking forward to this match more than practically any other for quite some time. It promises to be quite an event tomorrow night in the Superdome! Be there, or tune in live! Open Contracts ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, there's another great weekend of IIWF action coming your way, and I've just about reached the end of this update. All that remains for me to do is to remind you to tune in tomorrow night for IIWF Saturday Night, live from the Superdome in New Orleans, to see just who Deathbringer will introduce as his mystery partner! I'll be back with you on Tuesday with another Control Centre update, when I'll be rounding up the weekend's events, looking forward to next week's action, and much more! So, until tomorrow night, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+