##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- LIVE! * Superdome, New Orleans * July 27 1996 [Opening graphics fade through to montage shots of the crowd inside the New Orleans Superdome. Fireworks explode high in the rafters and spotlights swirl over the fans. Cut to the announcer's table, where Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts stand.] TD: Welcome everybody to the Superdome, in New Orleans, Louisiana! Welcome to another IIWF Saturday Night! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. Or perhaps I should say _nearly_ always, Steve, since you disappeared halfway through last week's broadcast after _attacking_ "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. SR: Shut it, Dross! If you haven't got the message by now, then I'll give it to you one more time: "Soundbite" Steve Roberts has a law unto himself, and I'll damn well do what I damn well want, okay? No amount of fines or threats is going to stop me - not when it comes to that little runt Pukespeare. TD: I'm sure we'll talk more about Billy Shakespeare later on here tonight, but first let's discuss tonight's action! It's been quite a week in the IIWF, and on Wednesday we saw a new Intercontinental Champion crowned! Brad "Bodybag" Kinder defeated Tiger Claw in a real nail-biter. SR: But Kinder would never have done it if it hadn't been for the interference of the Subway Stinker and Yawnbringer. Tonight we're going to see those two get their comeuppance at the hands of Tiger Claw and Joe Latta. TD: That remains to be seen, Steve - remember that Deathbringer hasn't actually _announced_ that the Subway Sti... damn, I mean Psycho... will be his partner tonight. SR: Are you kidding, Dross? Who else would team with that cheap Cadaver impersonator? TD: That's quite enough, thankyou, Steve. The new Intercontinental Champion himself will also be in action tonight as he makes his first title defence against Vinny Cappicola, Don Antonio's right hand man. What a roll the Family have been on as of late, Steve! SR: So they won a couple of matches. So what? TD: I can see you're going to be difficult tonight, Steve. SR: Not as difficult as "Frost" Scott Morrison is going to be for "Spare Parts" Spanner Robertson in their No Rules Match here tonight. TD: That's _"Machine"_ _Hunter_ Robertson, Steve. SR: Whatever. Either way, Frost's going to prove why the temperature's dropping more every day here in the IIWF. The ice man cometh, and he's taking no prisoners. TD: We'll also see three other great tag team encounters as the Atomic Destroyers take on the Alphabet Boys in tag team tournament action, the Armed Forces battle Stunt Team USA, and "Showstopper" Simon Lebec teams up with "Painbringer" Billy Sexton to face the American Heroes. Let's get pretaped comments from one half of the Heroes, the Man Of Steel, now: [SCENE: Man of Steel is walking down a street. He carries a training bag over one shoulder and a small crowd are following, listening to what he is saying.] MOS: Hello, good people of the IIWF. The Man of Steel has this special message. Following the Family joining the American Heroes, I urge the rest of the good people here to join us. Casey has said this before but I must reiterate it. Those of the people here that want to make sure that this federation stays on the right track. Subway Psycho, you said that you cannot join us because Brian Lau is pushing your buttons. I have to ask why? Why not join with the American Heroes and stand together to protect all of our interests? I can help you with Brian Lau and his Syndicate. Join with me and we can work together to get you back where you deserve to be. But onto other things. IIWF, the Man of Steel wants to begin his climb to the top. In recent times I have concentrated on the tag team situation here more than my own singles action. But now comes the time for the Man of Steel to make for what people are remembered for, the Intercontinental Title. Brad Kinder, I challenged you when you were still one of the Horsemen. I now make the challenge again. At the next possible point I challenge you to a non-title match. To gain a win against the champion would boost me up in the rankings and maybe secure me a title shot at a later date. Brad, accept my challenge and you may add any stipulation that you feel you want. The Man of Steel will face any match that you want and will do his best to secure a win against the best in the business right now. But once again to all of you out there, join the American Heroes and The Family, and make things better for all the good fans out there who pay good money to see their Heroes, the American Heroes. [Fade as Man of Steel enters Bibbo's Gym. Cut back to the announcers' table. Roberts shakes his head in derision.] TD: What, Steve?! SR: No idea. He's just got no idea, has he? TD: I'm sorry... I don't know what you're talking about. SR: Never mind. Let's move on. In other action, the Posse's champion, the Outlaw, is going to give the Hangman a little taste of justice, Outlaw-style. TD: I wouldn't be so sure, Steve. The Senator's latest addition has already taken out two members of the Posse in his first two matches. Who's to say that he's not going to do the same to the Outlaw here tonight? Anyway, we'll also be hearing from the IIWF President as more matches for IIWF Midsummer Madness are announced. But before all of that action, let's recap on the matches we've already seen here tonight before we came on air: - ROBSKI defeated the ENFORCER after his jacknife powerbomb in the opening encounter of the evening. It was a hard-fought match, both men impressing with some tremendous high-impact moves, but in the end Robski hit with a lariat clothesline and a neckbreaker before going for the kill. After the powerbomb, the pin was a mere formality. Robski then celebrated by draping a United States flag over the body of the Enforcer and urinating on it! I don't think I'd ever seen anything so disgusting in my life! All I can say is, thank goodness we weren't live for that match! SR: Are you some kind of fascist, Dross? Does it really upset you so much to see somebody with opposing national views to yourself defacate on a piece of cloth? TD: No, of course I'm not a fascist, but that's no ordinary piece of cloth - that's old glory! That's the rockets' red flare right there! SR: [mocking, singing] Where on the stair? Right there - a little flag wit... TD: [interrupting] Thankyou, Steve, that's quite enough. But I must just say that I was greatly disappointed in Robski. Recently, I had begun to believe that he was a man more sinned against than sinning, but with that single act, he had most of the crowd in here on their feet throwing garbage into the ring at him. And he really didn't care. Anyway, moving on: - THE PUNSTER defeated the aptly-named CURT BLANCHE [J] in no time at all. Blanche, if we're honest, made a bit of a meal of his offence, and the Punster soon polished him off with his Pun-isher Frankensteiner from the top rope. That was barely even a starter for the goatee-sporting high-flyer, but no main course was forthcoming. This coming Wednesday, though, he'll move on to dessert with a little _ice_ cream, as he faces "Frost" Scott Morrison. Not bad, huh, Steve? [Roberts shakes his head and says nothing.] TD: Ah well, you win some, you lose some. In other action: - FISTO FLASH pinned TAYLOR, one half of former IIWF Champions, Steamroller, in a controversial match. Flash had been staggered early on by the agility and speed of Taylor, but came back very strongly with high-impact offence once he managed to slow the pace down. Robski came down to ringside wearing boxing gloves and began to taunt Fisto, distracting the iron destroyer and allowing Taylor to roll him up from behind for an attempted pin. However, Fisto managed to shift his weight and carry himself over Taylor, pinning the smaller man's shoulders to the canvas for the three count. Fisto then took off up the aisle after Robski, leaving Taylor lying in the ring in disbelief. Taylor's manager, Dave Albanese, came into the squared circle and began berating his man, dragging him to his feet and really getting in his face. Taylor was apologetic, but Albanese stormed back up the aisle alone, leaving a dejected Taylor to follow a few moments later. Do you detect some dissatisfaction in Albanese, Steve? SR: [sarcastically] No kidding, Sherlock! Albanese doesn't want anything to do with losers, and it seems that Steamroller have really lost their edge in the ring. They're going to have to prove themselves to him again if they're going to bring themselves back into contention once Brassow's knee has healed. TD: I don't know, Steve. I think Albanese was unnecessarily harsh on Taylor, and I don't think he and Brassow will stand for that kind of admonishment on a regular basis. But what about Robski, coming down to ringside like that? SR: He's trying to gain that all-important psychological edge over Fisto as they prepare to meet one last time in a Knockout Match next Wednesday. But if you ask me, it's not going to work. That fist of Flash's is just too much of an advantage for a Brit to overcome. TD: In the final match before we came on air tonight: - The HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS defeated LAW & DISORDER in a very fiercely-contested matchup. Both teams clearly wanted victory in the worst way here tonight, but it was the newly reinvigorated Pale and Easy who took the prize. The Posse seem to be bouncing back from their recent misfortune, Steve. SR: You ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait until the Outlaw gets into the ring with the Hangman. Then we'll see just what the Posse are capable of. TD: We've already seen some fantastic action here tonight, and it's only going to get better from here on in! Let's go up to the ring for our first live matchup. Sparkplug Lee, it's over to you! ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Armed Forces vs. Stunt Team USA _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [A pocket of fans begins a "Spark - plug! Spark - plug!" chant as the ring announcer steps between the ropes clutching his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's first live match is a tag team encounter scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming to the ring with their manager, Aaron the Caddy, and hailing from Omaha, Nebraska, at a combined weight of 643lbs, here are NavCom and DefCon: the Armed Forces! [Moderate heel pop for the Forces as they come out to a cacophony of various military noises, Aaron the Caddy wheeling his golf bag behind him. The two athletes enter the ring and remove their military garb. DefCon snatches the microphone from Sparkplug and barks at the crowd to "stand at attention for the senior officers of the IIWF", an order which is met only by jeers from the fans.] RA: And their opponents: coming down the aisle, from Tampa, Florida and Canyon City, Oregon, at a combined weight of 588lbs, here are Steve "Airborne" Forget and Ron "Danger Freak" Fire: Stunt Team USA! [Big pop for Ron and Steve as they jog down to the ring, dangerous looking fireworks erupting in the aisle, throwing clouds of white sparks around them. Big gasp from the crowd as they are engulfed by a large explosion at the foot of the aisle, but Ron and Steve emerge on the other side perfectly unharmed. They jump up onto the apron and wave for their fans, who cheer them.] TD: What an entrance from Stunt Team USA! SR: You'd better hold that in your mind, Dross, since their exit from the ring won't be half as impressive. Stretchers all round, boys? TD: Don't jump the gun, so to speak, Steve. This one could go either way. Ron and Steve have really been on a hot streak as of late, and a victory tonight will give them the momentum they need going into their final tournament match on Wednesday against the dangerous Atomic Destroyers. [Ron elects to start the match against DefCon, the two larger members of their respective teams. They lock up in the centre of the ring.] TD: Ron Fire is a big man, but he's giving away some sixty pounds to this former Army general. We'll soon see who has the edge in power. [DefCon pushes Ron towards the buckles. Ron flies backwards and hits the turnbuckle. He is encouraged by Steve, and goes back in with another tie-up. DefCon again overpowers Ron, and pushes him into the turnbuckle. This time, Ron charges with a shoulderblock, but doesn't take the big man down. He hits the ropes for a second time, and DefCon is staggered. He runs to the ropes for a third time, and quickly tags in his partner. DefCon doesn't seem to see the tag, and is flustered as Ron slides between his legs. He spins around, and is clotheslined from behind by Steve. DefCon goes down. Big pop! Ron slides out of the ring and walks back round to his corner, avoiding Aaron on his way. Steve applies an armbar on DefCon and twists the left arm as far as possible behind his back. DefCon doesn't take long to reach the ropes, however, and Steve obliges with a clean break. DefCon, however, manages to cheapshot Steve below the belt as the referee steps between them. Steve is bent over double, and DefCon performs a rocker dropper, placing his leg over Steve's neck and sitting down, forcing Steve's face into the canvas. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] TD: Phew! That was close! Already we've seen good tag team continuity countered by sheer brute force. It looks like DefCon is going to take the advantage here early on. [DefCon drags Steve to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He swats him to the mat with a forearm, then tags in NavCom. Steve is staggering to his feet as NavCom enters the ring, and the former Naval officer goes to work on Forget with European uppercuts, forcing him backwards into a neutral corner. Steve reels from repeated uppercuts, until the referee finally forces a break. Steve begins to stagger towards his corner to make the tag, but he is clotheslined to the canvas by NavCom. Steve rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope in an attempt to evade the Forces, and NavCom distracts the referee while Aaron the Caddy clouts Steve over the back with a golf club. Ron sees this offence and leaps from the apron to go to the defence of his partner. He spins Aaron around and nails him with a hard right hand to the head. Big pop as Aaron goes down. Ron leans over Steve, who is lying on the protective padding at ringside, and tries to help him to his feet. Meanwhile, NavCom runs across the ring and launches himself over the top rope with a plancha dive onto Fire and Forget. Big heel pop!] TD: Wow! What an impressive manoeuvre for such a big man! NavCom weighs in at 281lbs - that must be like a ton of bricks landing on you, Steve! SR: No, Dross, it must be like 281lbs of bricks landing on you. Idiot. [NavCom rolls Steve into the ring and goes for the pin, using the ropes for extra leverage - count - 1 - 2 - the referee sees NavCom's feet on the ropes and stops counting. NavCom argues with the referee, while behind his back, Steve is dragging himself up on the ropes. Aaron, who has gotten to his feet again, checks that the referee isn't looking, and whacks Steve with a club again, this time around the jaw. Steve rolls into the centre of the ring, clutching his jaw, and NavCom turns to take advantage of it. He drags Steve to his feet and executes a stun gun. Huge pop!] TD: What a brutal move from NavCom! Forget could well have a broken jaw right there! The referee needs to check and see whether he's able to continue in this one. [NavCom goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Ron charges into the ring and stomps NavCom's back to break the pin. As the referee pushes Ron from the ring, NavCom hauls Steve into his corner, and he and DefCon double team him brutally, choking him with the tag rope and kicking him repeatedly. Ron's protests for the referee to turn around are misconstrued by the official, who seems more interested in ejecting Ron from the ring than seeing such offences perpetrated.] SR: This is a textbook display of good tag team partnership right here, Dross. The Armed Forces have clearly done their homework, and they know how to best counter the talents of these two bozos. Mind you, that in itself isn't too difficult, since talent is hard to come by if you're a no-brain stunt double. TD: I don't know what match you're watching, Steve, but what I'm seeing in the ring is a despicable display of doubleteaming! SR: Perhaps you need to adjust your monitor, Dross. Hang on... [pause, we hear a snap] Oops. Sorry. TD: [sarcastic] Great. Thanks a million, Steve. SR: Any time, Dross. [In the ring, Steve is still in trouble. DefCon has been tagged back in, and he drops a leg across the prone Steve before going for another cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! Ron stamps on the canvas in an attempt to get the crowd behind them, and a chant of "S - T - U - S - A! S - T - U - S - A!" soon starts up. DefCon drags Steve to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Steve ducks a clothesline, and on the rebound, launches himself with a cross-body block. Both men go down, and the crowd's chant gets louder and louder as they will Steve to make the tag.] TD: This crowd is really behind Stunt Team USA right now! But it looks like DefCon's going to make the tag first -- yes! NavCom's charging across the ring -- Steve lunges -- he makes the tag! [Huge pop as Ron hits the ring like a whirlwind. He floors NavCom with a big clothesline, then applies a standing side headlock and turns it into a bulldog. Big pop! Ron again drags NavCom to his feet and executes a piledriver! Big pop! Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! He grabs NavCom by the hair, hauls him up and nails him in the midsection. NavCom bends double, and is immediately caught by a snap DDT. Big pop! Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! Ron stands above NavCom and looks out into the crowd, who cheer him on.] SR: He can't do it, Dross! He's pulled out just about every move in his arsenal, and NavCom's just too tough! That military training, those years of hard graft, have turned this guy into a real fighting machine. Some Hollywood b-list crash test dummy's not going to be able to put him away! [Ron once more drags NavCom to his feet and tries to whip him into the ropes. NavCom reverses, and it is Ron who is sent into the ropes. As he hits the ropes, Aaron strikes him in the back with a golf club. Ron slumps and goes down. NavCom quickly tags in DefCon, who enters the ring and executes his ICBM powerbomb on Ron. Huge heel pop as DefCon covers - 1 - 2 - Steve charges the ring, but is met by a boot to the face from NavCom - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge heel pop!] RA: Here are your winners, by pinfall: the Armed Forces! [Aaron the Caddy gives a triumphant little jump on the outside, before dashing into the ring to congratulate his men and taunt the two Stunt Teamers, who are laid out on the canvas. He orders NavCom and DefCon to continue the beating, but the referee immediately warns that if they lay a finger on Steve and Ron, they will have the victory taken away from them. Aaron instead raises his men's arms, and leaves the ring with them.] TD: I guess that despite their deplorable tactics, a victory is more important to the Forces than just being able to maim people. SR: I think they already added insult to injury here tonight, Dross. We saw the true potential of the Armed Forces in that match, and I predict that they could go a long way here in the IIWF. [As the victorious threesome make their way up the aisle, there is a big pop as Law & Disorder appear at the curtain. They stand, side by side, their arms akimbo, and then begin to walk down towards the Forces, who charge them, and a brawl breaks out.] TD: Look at these two teams go at it! I guess Law & Disorder didn't take too kindly to the injustice we've just seen here tonight... and they are Ron and Steve's team partners at Midsummer Madness... SR: Injustice?! You must be going blind, Dross... TD: Well, what else do you call smacking somebody in the back with a golf club? SR: Simple, Ron said to Aaron, "Hey, Aaron, I've got a disc out in my back - would you mind putting it back in for me?" TD: Will you please stop?! Security have separated these two teams now... and Ron and Steve are on their feet. [Ron and Steve look at each other and shake their heads in disappointment. They accept the cheers of the crowd with a few waves of their hands, and then head back up the aisle, looking deflated.] TD: This is bad news for Stunt Team USA as they go into their big final tournament match next week on Mayhem against the Atomic Destroyers. But they've got to put this defeat out of their minds and concentrate on the tag team gold - they can get their revenge on the Armed Forces at Midsummer Madness. SR: It's going to be a war, Dross, and there's nobody better suited to a war than the Armed Forces. Bungle Team USA don't stand a chance. TD: We'll see. Right now it's time for the next match in the ongoing tag team tournament, as the Atomic Destroyers face the Alphabet Boys. Let's get back up to the ring. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF World Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: Atomic Destroyers vs. Alphabet Boys _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall, and it is round seven of the IIWF World Tag Team Championship Round Robin Tournament. Introducing first, coming to the ring accompanied by the Senator, at a combined weight of 715lbs, here are Larn and Steroid: the Atomic Destroyers! [Big heel pop for the Destroyers as they come down to the ring, the Senator leading the way. They ignore the jeers of the fans, and climb the ringsteps.] RA: And their opponents, coming to the ring, at a combined weight of 589lbs, here are Abie and Zed: the Alphabet Boys! [The chorus of the "Alphabet Song" grates as Abie and Zed make their way down to the ring, receiving a mixed pop. When they reach the ringside area, Zed climbs the ringsteps, while Abie keeps walking to the crowd barrier and vaults it, continuing up into the stands. Zed sees his partner disappearing into the sea of fans and goes after him.] TD: Can't these guys do anything right? SR: You never know, Dross -- this could be a cunning ploy on their part to throw the Atomic Destroyers off-guard... on second thoughts, nah. TD: Mind you, there's no denying that the Alphabet Boys are one of the most successful teams in the IIWF right now. SR: They can't hold a candle to the High Plains Drifters, Dross. And when it comes down to it, I don't think they'll be able to get past the Destroyers either. [The Destroyers and the referee look on impatiently as Zed tries to drag Abie out of the stands and back into the ring. Abie grabs a IIWF cap from one fan as he is hauled over the railings and back to the ringside area. He smiles and presents it to Zed, who throws it back into the crowd and clocks Abie with a big right hand. Abie momentarily looks hurt, and then lays into his partner with a flurry of blows. Zed blocks them, and then points into the ring. Abie sees their opponents, and launches himself at them at great speed, clotheslining Larn from the ring, and headbutting Steroid to the canvas. The referee sees little choice but to signal for the start of the match.] TD: That was a ... a smart move by Zed there, channeling Abie's aggression towards the opposition. SR: They're about as smart as that suit you're wearing, Dross. Straight up, it looks even cheaper than your toupee. I think they're both made out of polyester. TD: Will you please stop?! [Abie dominates Steroid in the ring, choking him viciously. The referee calls for the break, but Abie seems to ignore him. The referee begins the count - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - Larn storms the ring and kicks Abie in the back of the head, a move which achieves the objective of breaking the hold, but serves not to hurt Abie, but only to annoy him. Abie spins around and chases Larn out of the ring again, and rolls out after him. Larn runs around the perimeter of the ring, with Abie in hot pursuit. Steroid, having recovered from the choke and followed Abie to the outside, steps in and clotheslines Abie to the arena floor to stop the chase after about the third revolution. He hauls Abie to his feet and whips him into the steel ringpost. Big heel pop. Zed leaps down from his corner and goes after Larn and Steroid, who are now double-teaming Abie on the outside.] TD: The referee's lost control in this one early on! SR: How would _you_ propose trying to keep the Alphabet Morons in check? I think the only things they respond to are sacks of sugar and Elvis lamps. TD: Perhaps every referee should carry a standard issue Elvis lamp for matches involving Abie and Zed. SR: A standard issue revolver would do the world more of a favour. TD: Now, Steve! Try and be nice. It looks like Abie and Zed have turned these odds around. [Zed knocks Larn and Steroid's heads together, and the two Destroyers slump to the floor. Abie pushes Zed out of the way, drags the two prone men back to their feet, and repeats the move with a twist - he headbutts first Larn, and then Steroid, then knocks their heads together. They go down again. The Senator is up on the apron, trying to convince the referee to step in and prevent this carnage, but the referee seems to be helpless. Zed pulls the Senator down from the apron and blows a raspberry at him. The Senator wipes the spit from his face and attempts to whack Zed with a right hand, but Zed blocks the punch and clotheslines the manager to the floor. Big pop.] SR: Come on, ref! Disqualify the Alphabet Boys! That's a disgusting offence! [Abie finally throws both Larn and Steroid into the ring and follows them in. The two Destroyers both head for their corner, both men wanting out of the ring, and an argument breaks out as to just who should have to stay in the ring. Meanwhile, Abie charges them, and avalanches them both in their corner. Steroid falls from the ring, so Larn draws the short straw of continuing the match. Abie executes a piledriver on Larn, and then climbs the turnbuckles.] TD: Abie doesn't really look at home up there on the top buckle, Steve. SR: You're not kidding -- he flies about as well as a Chevy. [Abie seems to take a long time getting his balance on the top rope, and doesn't notice Steroid shaking the ropes. He loses his footing, and tumbles forwards into the ring, landing awkwardly. Both men are down on the mat. Zed starts stamping his feet on the apron, starting up a chant of "A - bie! A - bie! A - bie!" in the crowd.] SR: I can't believe this, Dross! These idiot fans are actually cheering for these cheaters! [Larn is quicker to stir than Abie, and lunges to make the hot tag. Steroid enters the ring and immediately goes to work on Abie, stomping him and dropping his elbow on the sternum area. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! He drags Abie to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Big pop as he hits with a remarkably high-elevation backdrop. Abie hits the canvas hard, and Steroid drops a leg across Abie's neck. Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! He drags Abie to his feet once more, and kicks him in the midsection. Abie doubles over, and Steroid executes a big powerbomb on the prone Alphabet Boy. Big heel pop as Steroid makes the cover again - 1 - 2 - Zed storms the ring and stomps Steroid. As the referee clears Zed from the ring, Steroid and Larn again double-team Abie, together executing a brainbuster suplex on the big man. Huge heel pop. The referee turns to see Steroid with the cover on Abie - 1 - 2 -- kick out!] TD: I'm really impressed by Abie's tougness and endurance in there, Steve, but he can't keep going like this indefinitely. He really needs to make that tag! [Steroid whips Abie into the ropes, and both men attempt a clothesline. They collide in the centre of the ring and both hit the mat. As both lie flat out, there is a buzz in the crowd as the High Plains Drifters appear at the head of the aisle and make their way down to ringside.] TD: Oh-oh! This spells trouble for the Atomic Destroyers. SR: Not necessarily. Maybe the Drifters just wanted to get a closer look at the competition. TD: I think Pale and Easy have sufficient memories to remember their arch-enemies without being at ringside, Steve. SR: Maybe they're short-sighted, Dross. [The Senator seems annoyed by the arrival of the Drifters, and gets up on the apron to argue the point of their presence. Meanwhile, behind the referee's back, both Abie and Steroid make the tag, and Zed and Larn enter the ring. Each is momentarily distracted by one of the Drifters; Pale hands Zed a spur, and Easy hands Larn a spur. They turn and look into the ring, confused. The Senator implores the referee to turn around, and the official does so. He sees both men holding foreign objects, and signals for the bell.] SR: Hang on! What kind of decision is this?! RA: Ladies and gentlemen: the referee has disqualified both teams due to use of foreign objects! SR: _Use_ of foreign objects?! You're kidding me! That's got to really annoy both teams, but a smart move by the Drifters, for sure. [The Drifters are already halfway up the aisle, but when they hear this announcement, they stop and turn back towards the ring, laughing at the incredulous athletes standing in the ring. Both Zed and Larn look at one another, and then dash out of the ring towards the Drifters. A brawl breaks out in the aisle.] TD: Chaos has broken out again! These three teams are just so volatile! SR: Remember last week, when the Destroyers cost the Drifters victory over the Alphabet Boys? The word "touche" springs to mind. [The Senator shakes Steroid into action, and they take off up the aisle after Larn. Security have now filled the aisle in an attempt to separate the three warring teams. Eventually, the Senator and his men slip away, leaving the Drifters and the Alphabet Boys in the aisle. Eventually, the four men realise that the Destroyers have gone, prompting an argument between Abie and Zed about who let them get away. The Drifters sense that this is the time to make an exit, and so they leave the Alphabet Boys brawling in the aisle. Security eventually force the ABoys out of the aisle. Cut to the announcer's table.] TD: Wow! What a war that was. And that double countout result is going to have interesting implications for the tag tournament. A very smart move by the Drifters to prevent the Destroyers from gaining a victory - that makes their job next Saturday that much easier. SR: They're not stupid, Dross. You can bet that they'll sabotage the Destroyers' match against Blunder Team USA on Wednesday as well. That way they practically win the belts by default. TD: No, that's not true. If Stunt Team win on Wednesday, and the Drifters lose on Saturday, then Ron and Steve will walk home with the gold! There's everything still to fight for. SR: Well, whatever. TD: Let's move on. Don't forget that later on we'll be hearing from the IIWF President with more matches for Midsummer Madness, but right now we're going to see two members of one of the teams already announced for the pay-per-view in action. The captain of the Showstoppers, Simon Lebec, and "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, are set to face Casey "Whitebread" James and the Man Of Steel. Let's go back up to the ring. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ "Showstopper" Simon Lebec & "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. American Heroes _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the aisle accompanied by Miss Crystal and Francois, at a combined weight of 484lbs, here are "Showstopper" Simon Lebec and "Painbringer" Billy Sexton! [Moderate heel pop for the foursome as they come down to the ring. Miss Crystal, bedecked in a slinky, sparkly evening dress, is carrying an award as she walks arm-in-arm with Lebec.] SR: Wow, Dross, get a load of Miss Crystal! She's stunning, isn't she? And just look at her Golden Globes! TD: [pause] I can't say what it is, but I'm sure that was very rude. [Sexton and Lebec enter the ring and disrobe. They hi-five each other. Huge pop as "Yankee Doodle Dandee" blares out over the PA.] RA: And their opponents: coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 547lbs, here are Casey "Whitebread" James and the Man Of Steel: the American Heroes! TD: Just listen to these fans, Steve! They're going nuts for these two guys! SR: These morons wouldn't know class if it came and slapped them in the face, Dross. TD: Er... interesting metaphor, Steve. SR: What are you talking about? I wasn't using any flags, Dross! TD: Er... no, that's sema... oh, never mind. But look at Casey wave that American flag so proudly! SR: Better hope that Robski's not in the area and bursting to use the bathroom, huh, Dross? TD: Please, Steve. I'd really rather forget about that disgusting incident. [Casey and Steel hi-five as many fans as they can on their way to the ring, and are practically swamped by hands as they reach the ringside area. They eventually climb the ringsteps, and enter the ring. Lebec and Sexton bail out as red, white and blue fireworks erupt high in the arena. Casey and Steel take to the turnbuckles, Casey still waving the flag. Sexton and Lebec slide into the ring and jump the Heroes from behind, pounding them on the back. Lebec back-suplexes Steel into the ring from the second buckle, while Sexton and Casey brawl to the outside. The referee signals to the timekeeper to start the match. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: That attack was totally uncalled for! SR: Lebec and Sexton are smart cookies, Dross. They know that the best way to get an advantage in a match is to do unto your opponent what your opponent would do unto you -- but do it first! TD: What an unsportsman like attitude! SR: You'd better see someone about that, Dross. You really are starting to sound like ol' Casper "Cornbread" Jones. TD: That's Casey "Whitebread" James, Steve. SR: Whatever. [Sexton whips Casey into the ringsteps on the outside, and then takes his place in his corner. Casey, holding his head, gets to his feet and similarly takes his place. In the ring, Lebec controls Steel. He picks him up and applies a backbreaker, then picks him up again for a piledriver. Big heel pop as Lebec tags in Sexton. Sexton whips Steel into the ropes and hits a side suplex. Sexton then cinches in a Boston crab on Steel.] TD: Some good isolation of the back area by Sexton and Lebec here, Steve. If they weaken Steel's back, then they can practically eliminate any aerial advantage he may have had. SR: These two guys are wrestlers' wrestlers, Dross. They've got their game plan worked out, and they're going to do a number on the American Bozos, you can be sure of that. [Steel inches forwards on his forearms, and finally manages to grab the ropes. The ref demands that Sexton break the hold, but the Painbringer pretends to ignore him. The referee counts - 1 - 2 - 3 - finally, Sexton releases the hold, but immediately stomps on Steel's back for good measure.] TD: I may not agree with his style, but these are good tactics from Sexton. He can't afford to let Steel recoup for even a second if he's going to stay ahead in this match. [Sexton whips Steel into the turnbuckle, and MOS yowls in pain as his tender back hits the padded steel.] SR: Listen to that! The Man of Squeal living up to his name! Music to my ears, Dross! [Sexton pushes Steel into his own corner, and tags in Lebec. Sexton holds Steel while Lebec kicks him in the midsection, before leaving the ring. Lebec snap mares Steel into the centre of the ring, then climbs to the second buckle and drops an elbow on MOS. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! Casey stomps on the apron, trying to encourage Steel. A chant of "U - S - A! U - S - A!" starts up and grows in volume. Lebec has a chinlock on Steel, who seems to draw energy from the crowd. He fights to his feet, and drives an elbow into Lebec's midsection, breaking the hold. He bounces against the ropes, and hits Lebec with a flying clothesline. Huge pop! Both men go down.] TD: Both men really need to make the tag here, Steve! SR: Come on, Lebec! [The "U - S - A!" chant continues as the referee counts both men down - 1 - 2 - 3 - Lebec stirs and moves towards his corner - 4 - 5 - Steel also stirs, but heads towards a neutral corner - the crowd go nuts as Lebec makes the tag and Sexton storms the ring - Steel lunges for the tag and makes it - huge pop! Casey hits the ring and nearly takes Sexton's head off with a big clothesline. He drops an elbow on Sexton, and then goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! He whips Sexton into the ropes and hits with a big boot to the face. Sexton goes down, and Casey climbs the buckles. As Sexton gets to his feet, Casey attempts his "Swift Justice" double axe-handle, but Sexton plants a fist in Casey's midsection, and the American Hero goes down. Big heel pop. Sexton tags in Lebec.] TD: Impressive continuity here from Lebec and Sexton - you'd think they'd been partners for years! SR: Whereas Cornbread and Squeal, who tag up on a regular basis, have been made to look incompetent by this rookie pairing. And the fans still cheer them. They talk about justice a whole lot, Dross, but there really is no justice in the world. [Lebec goes to work on Casey, and executes a kneebreaker on the American Hero. He applies the "Antagonist" step-over toe-hold, and Casey screams in pain, but refuses to submit.] TD: He'll never give up! The word "quit" just isn't in Casey's vocabulary! SR: You're right -- it's got too many syllables for that moron. TD: Hey -- look -- at the top of the aisle -- it's Tony Starks! SR: Oh no! What does that loser want out here? If he's looking for a knee specialist, he's come to the wrong place. [The crowd get to their feet as Starks comes down to ringside. He is less interested in what is going on in the ring than in one particular member of the crowd in a ringside seat. He drags a man wearing sunglasses and a suit to his feet by the lapels of his jacket, and gets in his face, practically screaming at him.] TD: Wait a minute -- that man... that's the gentleman who was seen backstage last week talking to Starks and then hanging around the locker rooms of Sexton and Lebec. Is that a coincidence? And who is this man? SR: Well, if that guy is Starks' knee specialist, it looks like Starks isn't terribly happy with his treatment. TD: Look - Lebec's released the Antagonist, and he's got out of the ring. He's sneaking up behind Starks... [Lebec grabs the Golden Globe from Miss Crystal and smacks Starks over the back of the head with it. Starks goes down, and the suited man in the crowd adjusts his tie, nods at Lebec, and sits once more. Meanwhile, Sexton has left his corner, and is also stamping away on Starks.] TD: What on earth is going on here, Steve? Are Lebec and Sexton on the payroll of that guy? I know they've had their differences with Starks in the past, but Starks didn't do anything to warrant this beating tonight! SR: Sure he did! He came out here sticking that ugly nose of his in a match that had nothing to do with him. The squeaky wheel gets the grease - or maybe that should be, "the gammy knee gets busted." [Casey and Steel go to Starks' rescue on the outside, and a brawl breaks out. Sexton kicks Casey in the leg that was being twisted by Lebec's Antagonist, and Casey goes down. The referee counts out the two legal men - 1 - 2 - 3 - Casey gets back to his feet and knocks Sexton down with a clothesline. Steel rolls Starks out of harm's way - 5 - 6 - Casey grabs Lebec and peppers him with right hand blows - 7 - Lebec is stunned - 8 - Casey rolls Lebec back into the ring - 9 - Sexton grabs Casey's foot and stops him from reentering the ring himself - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match by countout: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec and "Painbringer" Billy Sexton! TD: No way! Casey and Steel were cheated out of a certain victory right there! Why didn't the referee disqualify Lebec for attacking Starks like that?! SR: Why should he? Starks didn't have anything to do with this match. [The suited gentlemen gets up from his seat and disappears into the crowd as Starks gets back to his feet and looks out into the sea of faces. He hits the crowd barriers in frustration, and then points at Lebec and Sexton in the ring, who have their arms raised in victory. They challenge him to come right in and have some more, but Starks throws his hand down in disgust, as if to say that they aren't worth his time, and heads back up the aisle. Lebec and Sexton hi-five each other again and take off after Starks, with Francois and Miss Crystal in tow. Casey slams his hands on the apron in his anger and disappointment. As Steel attempts to comiserate with him, Casey pushes him away, and starts up the aisle himself.] TD: Would you look at that! Casey just shoved Steel right there! SR: [mocking] Aw... did poor widdle Casper lose a match again? Isn't that a shame! TD: Steve, stop that! [Steel follows Casey up the aisle, and while Casey ignores the fans' cheers, Steel waves to them as he disappears out of sight at the head of the aisle. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: Well, I don't know quite what to think about what we've seen here tonight. We know that the mysterious gentleman at ringside has got something to do with Starks, and it appears that he also has some connection with Lebec and Sexton too. I'm going to get to the bottom of this one, Steve. SR: Oh yeah, Detective Dross. You couldn't get to the bottom of your sock drawer without getting lost. TD: Now, Steve, that's not nice. I mean, look, I'm wearing socks now, aren't I? SR: Yeah, granted -- but they are _odd_ socks, Dross. TD: They are not! Let's change the subject, and talk about the challenge issued to you by one Billy Shakespeare earlier this week, following your little escapade last Saturday night. SR: Humph. Pukespeare wants to challenge me, does he? If he wants a war in the ring, I'll give him one. If it wasn't for the medical papers that damned hospital served on me that state I can't get back in the ring, I'd take on Pukespeare myself. In fact, I could take him now, damaged back and all! But I've found myself a champion who can do the job just as well as I can. TD: And who might that champion be, Steve? SR: I'm not going to tell you now, Dross. I want it to be a little surprise for Billy next week. Well, actually, quite a _big_ surprise. TD: Ah, so it's Blackjack Haley, then! SR: I'm not saying anything, Dross. All will be revealed here next week. TD: You have actually _got_ a champion lined up, haven't you, Steve? SR: Of course I have, Dross. It's going to be a dark day for Runtspeare next Saturday Night. It's gonna be great! Now let's leave it at that and get on with the next match. TD: As you wish, Steve. Up next we're going to see the brand new IIWF Intercontinental Champion in action, as Brad "Bodybag" Kinder makes his first title defence against Vinny Cappicola. Let's go back up to the ring. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Brad "Bodybag" Kinder vs. Vinny Cappicola _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship and is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 295lbs, accompanied to the ring by Salvatore Fiorello, here is the challenger: Vinny Cappicola! ["Theme from the Godfather" provides the musical background as Cappicola comes out to a moderate face pop. He slaps the hands of a few fans on his way to the ring.] SR: You know, Dross, I'm surprised at how the fans have actually taken a liking to these hoods. I used to respect the Family, but anyone who keeps the company of idiots like Casper Jones has clearly lost it. The Don's gone soft. TD: Not at all, Steve! I don't know why you take such a hard line against those who want to be a good role model for the kids out there. I certainly believe that the new improved Don Antonio has emerged as a far better wrestler for it! SR: Yeah, but what do you know? TD: I know that the Don covets the Intercontinental Championship, and he can't wait to be granted a shot at the belt himself. Of course, if Cappicola beats Kinder here tonight, at least the title will be in the Family, so to speak. RA: And introducing his opponent: coming to the ring, from the Arizona Desert, weighing in at 295lbs, he is one of the Dark Knights, he is the new IIWF Intercontinental Champion: he is Brad "Bodybag" Kinder! [Big mixed pop for Kinder as he stands at the head of the aisle, the IC belt gleaming around his waist. He remains stationary for a few moments, looking out into the crowd, before making his way down to the ring.] TD: Quite a strong reaction for Kinder - I guess you either love him or you hate him. SR: Well, out of those two options, I'll take the former. This guy may not be Tiger Claw, and he may not have Brian Lau behind him, but he's certainly worthy of that title. He's a powerful wrestler with an impressive arsenal, he's singleminded in the ring, and he's got style. What more could you want? TD: Well, the backing of the other Knights might be a good idea. Where are they? SR: I expect Kinder wants to prove that he can win a fight without their backup. After all, even though he didn't need the stupid interference from the Stinker and Yawnbringer on Wednesday when he won the belt, it did rather make him look weaker than he is. He would have won that belt on his own, and he's going to defend it on his own, too. [Kinder removes the belt from his waist, and holds it aloft before giving it to the referee. Vinny eyes it jealously, and then approaches Kinder as the bell rings to signal the start of the match. The two men lock up, and Vinny takes the early advantage, pushing Kinder into the ropes. The referee asks for the clean break, and gets it. The two men circle each other once more, and lock up again. Again, Vinny forces Kinder into the ropes. Instead of a clean break, this time, Kinder gets in a cheap slap on Vinny, which enrages the Sicilian. Vinny charges in, and Kinder side-steps his over-zealous opponent, giving him a helping hand as he sails over the ropes. Vinny hits the floor hard, but staggers to his feet only to find Kinder flying through the ropes at him. Big pop as Vinny goes down hard. Kinder gets to his feet and rolls back into the ring. He raises his arms to the crowd, who jeer him soundly.] TD: Despite what the fans think, that was a great start by Kinder. His tactics may occasionally leave a little to desired, but in terms of gaining that edge by raising the ire of his opponent, he's doing well so far. SR: Excuse me, I think I need my ears syringed. I thought I just heard you compliment Kinder! TD: Stranger things have happened, Steve... SR: Like what? That wig of your turning out to be natural? Yeah, right. TD: Can't we just leave my hair out of this, just for once? SR: No way. Never. [Vinny gets to his feet and gets back onto the apron. He is kicked in the midsection by Kinder, who then suplexes him back into the ring. Big pop. Kinder drops an elbow on Cappicola, then goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! Kinder drags Vinny to his feet, and then whips him into the ropes. He catches Vinny coming off the ropes and executes a devastating powerslam. Big pop! Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] TD: Wow! Vinny's hanging in there! He's taking everything Kinder can throw at him! SR: Not for long, Dross. Brad told me earlier on tonight that he plans to debut his new killer move here in this match. It's called "Dead Man's Honour", and it's a modified gourdbuster. Just wait until you see it! TD: You're rather jumping the gun, Steve, and so is Kinder. Vinny's not done in this one by a long shot yet. [Kinder picks up Vinny into a piledriver position.] SR: Here it comes, Dross! Watch this! [Vinny somehow gets his arms free, pushes off from the mat with his arms, scissors Kinder's head with his legs, and flips him across the ring. Big pop for Cappicola as he struggles to his feet.] SR: I don't believe it! Get up, Brad! [Kinder staggers to his feet, but is knocked back to the mat by a big clothesline from Cappicola. Big pop. Cappicola climbs the buckles, and drops a big elbow from the top rope. Another big pop. He goes for the cover - ] TD: Yes! He's done it! 1 - 2 - 3! No! No! It was only a two count. But wow, was that close! SR: Kinder has it all under control. I'm sure of it. Come on, Brad! [Vinny drags Kinder's legs into the centre of the ring, and wraps up his leg in a Figure Four leglock. Kinder yelps in pain, and frantically tries to reach behind himself for a rope. He gradually inches towards the side of the ring, and finally grabs the bottom rope. Cappicola releases the hold, but immediately continues stomping away on Kinder's now tender pin. He taunts Kinder to get up, and then a slugfest between the two men breaks out. Vinny throws a right hand, which Kinder blocks, and counters with a big right of his own. He follows up with a strong left, and Cappicola is staggered. Kinder bounces off the ropes and floors Vinny with a lariat. He drags Vinny to his feet, sets him up in the piledriver position, and then drops forwards. Vinny hits the mat hard, with the full weight of Kinder on top of him. Kinder goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: There it was, Dross! "Dead Man's Honour"! I told you so! A great win for Brad! RA: Here is your winner, and still IIWF Intercontinental Champion: Brad "Bodybag" Kinder! ["War Nerve" by Pantera blares out over the PA, but is soon stopped as Kinder continues to attack Cappicola. He picks him up and applies a second "Dead Man's Honour". The timekeeper again rings his bell as the assault continues.] TD: What's going on?! There's no need for this! SR: Cappicola tried to make Kinder look bad, Dross. The Dark Knights don't stand for embarrassment - Kinder doubly so. [Don Antonio dashes down the aisle and storms the ring, peppering Kinder with blows. He whips the champ into the ropes, and Kinder grabs hold of them. He turns to see the Don charge at him, clotheslining him over the ropes and to the floor. Kinder slaps the apron in frustration, as the Don stands over Cappicola and guards him from further attack. Kinder walks around the ring, snatches his belt away from the timekeeper, and holds it up for the Don to see. He looks at it, and then at the Don, and bursts out laughing. Don Antonio looks enraged, and stares directly back at Kinder. He draws his thumb across his throat.] SR: Hey, look! Dumb Antonio wants Kinder to cut his throat for him! TD: I think you misunderstand him, Steve. And I wouldn't call the Don "dumb", if I were you. SR: Hey, Dross, if you were me, I wouldn't have lived this long. I would have topped myself long ago. TD: Please, I think that's in very poor taste. SR: Rather like the suit on Dumb and Dumber's manager, Spaghetti Ravioli, or whatever his name is. [Kinder straps the belt around his waist and starts walking up the aisle. The Don races out of the ring after Kinder while Sal helps Vinny to his feet. Kinder seems to sense the Don's presence, and spins around. He opens his arms wide, as if to invite the Don to take a swipe, but the Don merely gets in Kinder's face, badmouthing him. He doesn't notice the other Dark Knights leap out of the crowd on both sides, and jump him from behind. Big heel pop as Phantom and the Sandman stomp on the Don.] TD: Looks to me like the Knights haven't forgotten how the Family gave them a little more than they bargained for on Wednesday night. We need some help out here! [Big pop as the American Heroes charge down the aisle and clean house, forcing the Dark Knights to beat a hasty retreat. Casey and Steel help the Don to his feet, and Antonio doesn't look pleased. Sal and Vinny follow close behind as the five of them make their way back into the locker room area.] TD: The Knights and the Family just don't get along, do they, Steve? SR: You don't say, Dross. TD: Well, perhaps they'll get the chance to settle their differences at Midsummer Madness. Don't forget about that great event coming your way in only three weeks, folks! Call your local cable operators right now and order this spectacular event! SR: Gee, you're starting early this time, Dross. TD: This pay-per-view promises to set new standards in sports entertainment, Steve! We've already heard about the first two matches announced, and tonight we're going to hear some more hot news direct from the horse's mouth... SR: [interrupting, laughing] You sure said a bundle there, Dross! TD: I hope you're not insinuating anything about our fine, upstanding IIWF President? SR: Fine, upstanding President? When did that moron Spreadbury get ousted? TD: You disgust me, Steve. Anyhow, let's go live to his office right now for more news about IIWF Midsummer Madness. [Cut to split screen: the announcers' table on the left, and the office of the IIWF President on the right.] TD: President Dan, it's an honour to have you with us tonight! DS: It's great to be here. We're seeing some fantastic action, as always! But I want to talk about the fantastic action we're going to see in three weeks time at Midsummer Madness! I'm going to announce two more of the initial four-on-four single elimination matches right here tonight! TD: Great! Go for it, Mr. President! DS: Okay. Firstly, the team nicknamed "Brute Force", captained by Robski and featuring Magus and the Guiding Lights, will take on "Ground Zero", captained by "Nuclear" John Bomber, and featuring a newcomer called Crimson Storm, and former IIWF Tag Team Champions, Steamroller. TD: Well, there's already no love lost between these two sides. But will Brassow be fit to compete in the PPV? DS: I'm happy to report that he's making good progress on his recovery, and will definitely be back in action within two weeks. TD: What about this Crimson Storm character? DS: Very little is known about this guy at the moment. I've not met him myself, but he called me up and asked to be put onto the card. It seems to me that he has a private agenda that he's not yet willing to divulge. I'm sure we'll find out more in the weeks to come. TD: Okay... Well, that's a great matchup. What about the second new match? DS: Patience, Tim! The "American Heroes", captained by Casey James, with Man Of Steel, Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola by his side, will battle the "Dark Knights", captained by the Sandman, and featuring Phantom, the Intercontinental Champion Brad Kinder, and the Prince of Darkness. TD: What a fitting lineup for that match! After the conflicts we've seen over the past couple of weeks, these two teams will be absolutely itching to get their hands on each other. DS: Don't forget that the survivors from these matches will progress to the final elimination match, in which the last man standing will be crowned the new IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. So there's a whole lot more to this event than just settling old scores. There's gonna be gold in the Garden! TD: Thanks for joining us, President Dan! DS: My pleasure, Tim. I'll be back on Wednesday to announce the final two initial matches. Enjoy the rest of the show. Oh, and Steve? SR: What? DS: I heard that thing about the horse. I'll see you in my office first thing Monday morning. We've got some things to talk about. SR: [sheepishly] Yes, sir. [Cut back to normal shot. Roberts looks annoyed.] SR: What a crock of... TD: [interrupting] Yes, I think we get the message, Steve. Try not to exacerbate the situation. Well, with four of the six matches for Midsummer Madness now announced, things are certainly shaping up for a great night's entertainment! In three weeks time, we'll be in Madison Square Garden, New York, to see the new IIWF Champion crowned! Don't miss it! Right now, let's move on to our next match. Or should I say "brawl", since this is a No Rules Match between arch-rivals, and opponents at Midsummer Madness, "Frost" Scott Morrison and "Machine" Hunter Robertson. This one's going to be wild! Let's go backstage to Larry Morton, who's with "Frost" Scott Morrison. Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton standing outside the locker room backstage.] LM: Thanks, Tim. I'm here backstage waiting for "Frost" Scott Morrison to come out of the dressing area, hopefully I can get a few words with -- wait, here he comes... [Frost strides out purposefully, an icy look of determination on his face] LM: Scott, could I ask you a few questions please? SM: That's "Frost" to you, little man, and make it quick, I have an appointment to keep. LM: You mean with "Machine" Hunter Robertson? SM: No, with a dentist, you moron... of course "Junkheap" Robertson. Tonight he's going to learn exactly what happens to people who mess with me. From the moment I got here, he was in my way. Now he comes down and interferes in one of my matches. LM: [interrupting] With all due respect, he didn't interfere in your match with Deathbringer -- he was just at ringside watching. SM: You stupid little man, you think he only came to watch?! Maybe get my autograph?! You are even more moronic then you look. He was sticking his nose where it doesn't belong, and now he's gonna learn the hard way that you don't mess with the Ice Man. That's all I have to say. [Frost stalks off down the hallway.] LM: Well, I see Frost is ready for his match! Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcer's table.] SR: Now there's a single-minded athlete. Come on, Dross, let's get on with this match! TD: Okay, Steve. Let's go up to the ring. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ No Rules Match: "The Machine" Hunter Robertson vs. "Frost" Scott Morrison _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Sparkplug Lee steps back into the ring. His name is chanted by the crowd once more. He waits a few moments before launching in with the introductions:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is a special match in which there are no rules! [Big pop] The match will only end when the referee rules that one of the competitors is no longer fit to continue. [Another pop] Introducing first, from Hoboken, New Jersey, weighing in at 275lbs, here is "Frost" Scott Morrison! [Big heel pop as Morrison comes out to the ring. He raises his hands as he apears at the head of the aisle, and begins sauntering coolly down towards the squared circle.] TD: I'll grant Morrison one thing: though I may not like his attitude, he always approaches every match with a cool head. SR: That's how he got his nickname, Dross. He... TD: [interrupting] Here comes the Machine! [Big pop for Hunter Robertson as he dashes from the curtain at the head of the aisle and jumps Morrison. The referee signals for the bell to start the match, and then dashes up the aisle to where the two combatants are going at it. Hunter throws Morrison into the steel crowd barrier, and then kicks and punches him on the arena floor. He drags him to his feet and executes his trademark inverted DDT, bringing Morrison's head down onto the arena floor with a crack. Big pop.] TD: Yow! That's gotta hurt! Morrison could be out right there! [The referee bends over Morrison, who grabs hold of the official as he hauls himself to his feet.] TD: That's amazing! How can Morrison still be even conscious after that move?! SR: He's a tough nut to crack, Dross, unlike ol' "Spare Parts", who's gonna get taken apart in no time. [Robertson dodges a charge from Morrison, and hitches in a drop toehold, causing Morrison to career over forwards and hit his head on the crowd barrier again. Big pop. Robertson hauls Morrison to his feet, and snapmares him over the barrier into the crowd area. The fans part like the sea as the two athletes, with the official in tow, take the fight into the stands, security keeping the crowd at a safe distance. Hunter picks up a chair from the removable seating, and throws it down with force onto Morrison's back. He picks it up again and drives it repeatedly into Morrison's ribs. Big pop.] TD: This is brutal stuff! Robertson clearly wants to hurt Morrison in the worst way. SR: Come on, Morrison! [Morrison lashes out behind himself with his elbows, and catches Hunter in the jaw. Morrison reaches into his tights, and pulls out a set of brass knuckles, which he swiftly places on one hand, before clocking Robertson with them. Hunter goes down, and Morrison is quickly on top of him, pounding Robertson's forehead with the knuckles. The Machine is busted open, and the referee forces Morrison to stop the assault while he checks on Robertson's condition. Hunter is bleeding from his forehead and his nose.] TD: That looks like a broken nose for Robertson, which is painful enough on its own, but that blood from the cut on his forehead is running into his eyes, which is going to affect his visibility. SR: I told you Morrison was smart, Dross. If Robertson can't see him, Robertson can't hit him. Simple as that. [Hunter assures the referee that he's able to continue, and fights to his feet. He is clotheslined back out into the aisle by Morrison, who follows him over the barrier and begins kicking him towards the ring, throwing him against various barriers as they go. Morrison presses Robertson above his head, and then drops him onto the ringsteps. Big heel pop. Robertson rolls off the steps, clutching his back, while Morrison picks up the top half of the steps and throws them down, narrowly missing Hunter, who rolls out of the way. Hunter hauls himself to his feet, and is handed a cup by a fan. Morrison doesn't see this, and spins Hunter around, unaware that he is holding a cup of scalding coffee. Robertson throws the coffee in Morrison's face, and Frost staggers backwards, clawing at his burning visage. Robertson, exhausted, launches himself at Frost and knocks him to the padded floor with a clothesline. Both men are down.] TD: What a match we're seeing here! Both men are throwing everything they can get their hands on at each other. SR: I guess that eliminates any visual advantage that Morrison had. Shame. I was thirsty. [The referee checks to see whether either man is able to continue. Both men begin to stir. Robertson, still bleeding from his face, rolls Frost into the ring and follows him in, throwing a steel chair into the centre of the ring. He drags Morrison to his feet and places Frost's head between his legs, then executes his Power Drop tiger bomb right onto the steel chair! Big pop! The referee is right there, checking Morrison, and allows the match to continue. Hunter hauls Frost to his feet and whips him with some force into the corner. Morrison moves with such speed that he tips over forwards, and spins through 360 degrees to fly over the buckle and end up straddling the top rope. Hunter follows him into the corner, and climbs to the top rope himself. He stands above Morrison, and drags Frost up so that both men are standing on the top rope! The crowd are popping like crazy as Frost swipes backwards with an elbow, missing Hunter, who ducks, but as Hunter attempts to stand again, the pair overbalance, and they both fall to the outside, crashing through a ringside table! Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! That's got to have knocked both men out! SR: That moron "Spare Parts" was totally to blame for that. He tried to push Morrison off the top rope, but Morrison took him with him. And quite right too! [The referee climbs from the ring and observes the carnage outside the ring. Both men lie entangled in the wreckage of table and equipment, and the referee signals to the timekeeper to end the match.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled that neither "Frost" Scott Morrison nor "The Machine" Hunter Robertson are fit to continue in this match. Therefore, the result is a draw! [Big mixed pop from the crowd. Robertson and Morrison lie motionless at ringside, and two stretcher teams make their way down to help the two athletes from the wreckage.] TD: Wow! What an intense match we just witnessed! That's got to have taken just about everything out of both men! Will their feud ever be settled? SR: Frost showed mercy to Robertson early in that match. If he'd gone for the kill earlier, it would just be "Spare Parts" being wheeled from ringside, but in a bodybag. You can bet that this is only going to strengthen Morrison's resolve to take Robertson out. TD: You could well be right. [Both athletes are wheeled up the aisle, apparently still unconscious.] TD: I hope neither man is seriously injured. If that's any indication of the ferocity they'll put into their match at Midsummer Madness, things are really going to get out of hand! SR: That match had it all - thrills, spills, action, and, best of all, blood! TD: You're disgusting, Steve! Up next, we're going to see one of your favourites, the Outlaw, in action against the Hangman, the one-man demolition crew who's taken out two of the Posse so far. Will the third time be a charm for the Senator here tonight? SR: Two words, Dross: no way, Jose! Damn, that was three. TD: Let's go up to the ring! ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ The Outlaw vs. The Hangman _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Larado, Texas, and weighing in at 322lbs, accompanied to the ring by the Senator, here is: the Hangman! [Big heel pop as the lights in the arena drop, and a silhouetted gallows high on a hill appears on the video wall. The Hangman emerges from the curtain with the Senator in tow and slowly walks to the ring, his face covered by his hangman's hood, and the noose in his hands. The cowbell clangs as he walks. He climbs the ringsteps and enters the ring, then disrobes and hangs the noose over one of the ringposts.] TD: Strange to see the Hangman out here with only the Senator. Where are the Atomic Destroyers? SR: I don't know, Dross. That is kind of weird, but it doesn't make any difference whether they're out here or not. The Outlaw's still going to take care of business. RA: And introducing his opponent: coming down the aisle, accompanied by Josey Wales, hailing from parts unknown and weighing in at 353lbs, here is: the Outlaw! [Bigger heel pop for the Outlaw, who walks straight down the aisle with Wales behind him. As he catches sight of the ring, he throws down his hat and charges into the squared circle. The refereee signals for the timekeeper's bell as the Outlaw and the Hangman mix it up in the ring. The Outlaw pelts his opponent with hard right hands, and then knocks him off his feet with a swinging punch.] TD: The Outlaw said he was upset, but I've never seen him want to get into a match as much as this! These two huge men are well-matched in this encounter - they both stand at nearly seven feet tall, and both are well over three hundred pounds, although the Outlaw has a slight weight advantage. SR: The Outlaw also has a huge advantage in terms of experience. He was the first, and so far the most successful, IIWF World Champion, and he's an athlete as smart as he is powerful. The Hangman's really got his work cut out in this one. [The Outlaw stomps on the Hangman, who fights to his feet. He takes a swing at the Outlaw, who ducks out of the way, and then launches himself at his opponent with a shoulder barge to the midsection. The Hangman bends over double, and the Outlaw grabs his head under his arm. He lifts his arm to signal for the Cattle Buster DDT, but the Hangman rushes him into the ropes. The referee calls for the break, and the Outlaw obliges, but the Hangman gets in a cheap shot behind the official's back. The Outlaw reels, and is then knocked out of the ring over the top rope by a big clothesline from the Hangman, who follows him out. The Hangman drags the Outlaw to his feet, and executes a neat belly-to-belly suplex, throwing the Outlaw behind him so that he crashes into the steel ring steps. Big pop.] TD: You were saying, Steve? It looks to me like the Hangman can handle himself here! SR: Just a momentary glitch for the Outlaw. He'll be back on track in a moment. Just call the match, will you, Dross?! [The Hangman props up the Outlaw against the ringsteps, and then takes a few steps backwards. He charges in, attempting to crush the Outlaw between himself and the ringsteps, but the Outlaw rolls out of the way, and the Hangman hits the steps with force. Both men are down as the referee's count reaches 6 - 7 - the Senator leaps up onto the apron and forces the referee to break the count. Both men begin to stir, and they begin to slug it out once more on the outside. The Hangman tries to whip the Outlaw into the steel crowd barriers, but the Outlaw reverses the whip, and the Hangman cannons into the barriers, nearly breaking the legs of the fans in the front row of seating. The Outlaw continues the assault, pulling cables from under the protective padding at ringside and choking the Hangman with them.] TD: Come on, ref! If only the Senator knew what he was distracting the referee from seeing! This is a disqualification offence right here! SR: Are you watching the same match as me, Dross? The Hangman got some cables tangled around his neck when he tripped, and the Outlaw's just trying to stop him from strangling himself. I mean, how ironic would _that_ be?! TD: You're unbelievable, Steve! [Josey Wales hauls the Senator from the apron, and clocks him, knocking him to the arena floor. The Outlaw finally rolls the Hangman back into the ring, but is hit on the back of the head by an object hurled by a member of the crowd. He turns to give the over-zealous fan the finger, and by the time he climbs back up onto the apron, the Hangman has recovered sufficiently to drive a shoulder into the Outlaw's midsection, and then snap mare him over the top rope back into the ring. He drops a leg across the Outlaw, and then goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - powerful kick out from the Outlaw, who is quickly back on his feet. The Hangman whips the Outlaw into the ropes, and the Outlaw ducks an attempted clothesline from his opponent, but is then caught by a powerslam as he comes back for the second time. Big pop. The Hangman goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! Again, the Outlaw is quick to get to his feet, but is scooped up by the Hangman for a backbreaker. Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] TD: The Hangman's pulling out some of his biggest guns here and he's not quick enough on the draw to put the Outlaw out, Steve! SR: Damned right he's not going to put the Outlaw out! Just wait and see! [The Outlaw seems groggy as he is dragged to his feet by the Hangman, and whipped into the ropes. As he comes back towards his opponent, the Hangman, lightning-quick, cinches in the Hangman's Noose sleeper. The Outlaw flails, and drops forwards, using the last of his momentum to fall onto the ropes. The referee calls for the break, and the Hangman holds the sleeper in for as long as possible without disqualification, and then stomps viciously on the Outlaw as he clings to the ropes. The referee forces the break, and the Outlaw hauls himself back onto his feet using the ropes. The Hangman charges him, and the Outlaw drops to the mat just in the nick of time, causing the Hangman to fly out of the ring between the first and second ropes. The Outlaw slumps to the mat inside the ring as the referee starts to count the Hangman out - 1 - 2 - Josey Wales approaches the Hangman in a threatening manner - 3 - the referee stops his count and tells Wales to back off. Wales obliges, and the referee starts his count again - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - the Outlaw is back on his feet, and he distracts the referee while Wales sneaks up on the Hangman again and stomps him. He then drags the big man to his feet and rolls him back into the ring.] TD: Wales has no business laying his hands on the Hangman! SR: Of course he does. He doesn't want that buffoon to get counted out, so he was just trying to revive him. That didn't work, so he rolled him back into the ring. What's the matter with that, Dross? [The Outlaw drags the Hangman to his feet, and tries to whip him into the ropes. The Hangman performs a reversal, and sends the Outlaw for the ride instead. The Hangman puts his head down in order to backdrop the Outlaw, but is groggy and telegraphs the move too early. The Outlaw puts on the brakes, then grabs the Hangman's head under his arm, and drops to the canvas with a vicious snap Cattle Buster DDT. He rolls the big man over and covers him - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Here is your winner, by pinfall: the Outlaw! [Big heel pop as Josey Wales enters the ring and raises the Outlaw's arm in victory.] TD: Impressive stuff from the Outlaw, I'll grant you. In the blink of an eye, he can wipe out an undefeated streak. SR: Well, I'm not the kind of guy to say, "I told you so", but, hey, I told you so. [The Senator rolls his man out of the ring, and makes threatening gestures at Wales.] TD: Where are the Atomic Destroyers? They usually jump at the chance to attack somebody. SR: Perhaps they've been locked in their locker room by the Posse. You remember how the Posse were locked up to prevent the Senator's men jumping the Venusian Death Cell on Wednesday. TD: [sarcastic] Oh, I was _so_ upset when the Cell got injured. I'll really miss him, you know. SR: I reckon the reason the VDC got injured was that he wasn't at top strength himself. TD: Really? I didn't hear anything about him taking any injuries into that match. SR: Apparently he was quite ill after he took a bite out of you, Dross. You must be poisonous, I suppose. TD: Will you please stop?! The ring's cleared now, so it's time for our main event, as Deathbringer brings out his mystery partner to face Joe Latta and Tiger Claw. Any last advances on who Deathbringer's partner is going to be, Steve? SR: It's going to be the Sewer Rat. End of story. TD: Well, let's find out! Sparkplug Lee, it's back up to you! ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Deathbringer & Mystery Partner vs. Tiger Claw & Joe Latta _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Spotlights swirl around the arena as Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team attraction is scheduled for one fall, and it is tonight's main event! [Pop] Introducing first, coming down the aisle, accompanied by Brian Lau, Mistress Sasha and Carla Daughtery, at a combined weight of 485lbs, here are: Tiger Claw and Joe Latta! [Tiger Claw's Thai boxing music blares out over the PA and the Syndicate receives a big heel pop as it makes its collective way down to the ring. Sasha and Daughtery look stunning in evening gowns, but Lau, Claw and Latta don't look pleased to be there. Claw, in particular, wears a dangerous scowl on his face.] TD: Just look at Tiger Claw! Is he in a bad mood or what?! SR: He sure is, Dross. Would you be in a good mood if you'd just been cheated out of the title belt you were defending honourably? TD: I don't think honour and Tiger Claw are two things that go together terribly often, Steve. [Lau gives Claw and Latta some last minute advice as they reach ringside. Then the athletes climb the ringsteps and enter the squared circle. Latta raises his arms to the crowd, but is greeted only by jeers. Claw goes to his corner and begins performing his pre-match ritual, the various gestures depicting the burial of a fallen opponent. He finally removes his yellow headband, and nods to the ring announcer to continue.] RA: And introducing their opponents. First, accompanied to the ring by the Coroner, hailing from the Dark Side and weighing in at 324lbs, here is: Deathbringer! ["The Reaper" begins to play over the PA, and the lights in the arena drop to nothingness. Huge pop as the lights rise, and Deathbringer stands in the ring with the Subway Psycho, Claw and Latta having bailed out to the outside.] SR: I told you! The Stinker's the mystery partner. Well, Yawnbringer just made a big mistake. Claw's going to take the Stinker apart for starters, and then destroy that big phoney for the main course. This is going to be great! TD: Hang on, Steve - the Psycho's wearing street clothes, not his wrestlling attire... and the Deathbringer's reaching for the microphone. Let's hear what he's got to say. [Deathbringer takes the microphone from Sparkplug Lee, and the arena falls silent as he speaks in his growling voice:] DB: Claw... Latta... Lau... I do not know what you expected concerning this match. I do not know whether you suspected the Subway Psycho to be my partner. But if you did, let me tell you that you were wrong. My brother in darkness is with me to ensure no foul play. But he will not be wrestling here tonight. No, tonight you will not only have to face me, the grim reaper and death himself, but you will have to meet an entity that is just as powerful in this world as I am on the dark side. He has been a nightmare to me in the past, and tonight he shall become _your_ worst nightmare. [Deathbringer drops the mic, but as he speaks on his voice is still heard throughout the whole arena] It is now my honour to introduce to you my partner for tonight's battle... [Deathbringer raises his arms, and the lights in the Superdome go out. A few seconds later at the ceiling of the arena two intense glowing red eyes appear, which cast a red beam of light down to the head of the aisle.] SR: What kind of screwy entrance is this?! TD: Shush, Steve! ["Call the Man" by Celine Dion starts up over the PA, as a figure steps into the glow cast by the intense red lights. The crowd goes absolutely crazy as they realise who it is standing, his hands on his hips, in the scarlet glow.] TD: [shouting over the noise of the crowd] It's Dan "Flash" Kauffman! He's back! SR: Oh no! I can't believe it! I thought that moron was gone for good! [A trail of spotlights illuminates the aisle as Kauffman starts the walk to the ring. A sea of arms on either side of the aisle swamp Dan as he hi-fives the fans. He is wearing a huge smile on his face as he slowly makes his way to the ring. Brian Lau tries to calm both Joe Latta and Tiger Claw down.] TD: Look at those two. They're beside themselves! SR: Once they get over their disappointment that it's not the Stinker they get to beat on first, they'll be even more determined to make Yawnbringer pay. There's no love lost between Latta and that bigmouth Kauffman... and Claw is just in a severely bad mood. I think Kauffman chose the wrong day to make his comeback. TD: We'll see about that, Steve. [Kauffman finally makes it to ringside, and climbs the steps into the ring. He mounts the turnbuckles and raises his arms to the fans. Cameras flash like strobe lighting as fireworks erupt high above the ring in the roof of the Superdome. Kauffman applauds the fans for his reception, and then steps into the ring. He extends his hand to the Subway Psycho, who takes it and shakes it, before leaving the ring. Claw and Latta gingerly step back through the ropes, and immediately the gaze of Deathbringer falls on them. Latta asks Claw whether he may start the match, and Claw steps back out onto the apron. The referee signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: All right! We're underway here. Wow, Steve, I still can't believe that Kauffman's back! SR: Oh, I can. How could that bigmouth resist the temptation to come back here and tell us all over and over how great he is?! TD: Sounds like a certain other person I know who's not a million miles away from here. SR: If you're talking about Brian Lau, Dross... TD: [interrupting, pointedly] No, Steve, I wasn't talking about Brian Lau. [Joe Latta locks up with Deathbringer, and staggers the big man with a kick to the lower abdomen. He quickly scoops him up and, in a very impressive display of power, performs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on 'Bringer. Big heel pop. Deathbringer immediately sits up again, and gets back to his feet. Latta bounces off the ropes and hits his opponent with a dropkick. Deathbringer is staggered, but doesn't go down. Latta goes to the ropes again and this time floors the dark destroyer with a big flying clothesline. Another big pop. Deathbringer again sits up almost immediately, and Latta tags in Tiger Claw, who charges the big man. He bounces off like a fly on a windscreen.] TD: Look at the difference in size between these two guys! Tiger Claw is giving away a hundred pounds and eight inches to Deathbringer. [Claw picks himself up, and points at Kauffman.] SR: It seems Claw is fed up with Deathbringer already. Will Kauffman be man enough to step up to the plate, though? TD: You bet he will. [Deathbringer tags in Kauffman, who enters the ring and locks up with Claw. Claw breaks the tie-up with a headbutt, and then grabs Kauffman's head between his elbows, performing his vicious knee fury. Kauffman goes down, and Claw drives a knee into his head. He goes for the cover - 1 - kick out! Claw drags Kauffman to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He launches himself into the air and floors Dan with a back heel kick. Cover - 1 - kick out! Claw whips Dan into a neutral corner, and then follows him in with a huge handspring elbowsmash. Big heel pop. Kauffman slumps, but is met with a punching fury from Claw. Claw drags him back to his feet and hauls him over to his corner, where he tags in Latta. Claw holds Kauffman in the corner while Latta kicks him in the midsection. Deathbringer enters the ring to try and stop the doubleteaming, but this only prompts the referee to try and eject Deathbringer, allowing Claw and Latta even more leeway.] TD: Deathbringer's making a mistake there. He should know by now that the Syndicate will use every advantage they can to its fullest extent to hurt their opponents. [On the outside, the Psycho serruptitiously sneaks round to the Syndicate's side of the ring, and taps Mistress Sasha on the shoulder. She turns, and tries to slap the Psycho, but the Psycho grabs her hand and plants a kiss on her. She falls backwards onto her behind in shock. Huge pop from the crowd. Lau goes berzerk, and commands Tiger Claw to go after the Psycho. Claw jumps down from the apron and he and the Psycho begin brawling at ringside.] SR: How stupid is the Subway Stinker?! Raising the ire of the Syndicate is not a clever thing to do! TD: I don't know, Steve - it's prevented the double-teaming on Kauffman, although Latta still looks like he's in firm control of this match inside the ring. [The referee leaves the ring to try and separate Claw and the Psycho as Latta whips Kauffman into the ropes. He misses with a clothesline attempt, and is then taken down to the mat by a crucifix from Kauffman! Latta's shoulders are down on the mat, but the referee is outside the ring! The crowd go absolutely nuts as Latta wriggles, trying to break the crucifix.] TD: Come on, ref! Kauffman could have had a five or six count by now! [Finally, Kauffman releases Latta from the crucifix, and Joe is incensed. He leaps back to his feet and stomps away on the still exhausted Kauffman. The referee finally breaks up the brawl on the outside and forces Tiger Claw back up onto the apron. The Psycho returns to Deathbringer's corner. Latta whips Kauffman into the ropes, and as he comes back, hoists him up above his head and presses him! Huge pop, and cameras flash like crazy.] TD: Look at that! Latta's got Kauffman up there like he doesn't weigh anything at all! Oh no! He's just dropped him over the side of the ring! No way! SR: Great move from Latta! Kauffman's got to be out now! [Latta stands in the ring and raises his arms above his head in victory. The crowd give a big heel pop. Latta tags in Claw, who immediately leaps to the top rope and launches himself all the way to the arena floor with his Golden Tiger Strike knee drop! Huge heel pop as Claw connects with force!] TD: Unbelievable! That's got to be a drop of about twelve feet... and he was right on target! Kauffman's in a whole new world of trouble right now! SR: You got that right, Dross. All Claw needs to do is get that moron back in the ring and cover him. It's over! [Claw drags Kauffman to his feet and rolls him into the ring under the bottom rope. He covers - 1 - 2 -- kick out! Huge pop as Kauffman barely gets his left shoulder off the canvas! Claw stands, hauls Kauffman up again, and snap mares him into the corner. He again goes to the top rope and raises his arms to signal the Golden Tiger Strike. He launches himself, but Kauffman somehow has the presence of mind to roll out of the way, and Claw hits the canvas with force. He clutches at his knee. The crowd are practically on their feet as both men are down in the ring.] TD: Listen to this crowd! The noise is almost deafening! Both men really need to make the tag right now! [The referee counts both men down - 1 - 2 - 3 - Claw stirs and crawls over to his corner. Kauffman is stirring, and getting to his knees. Claw tags Latta, who storms across the ring, and grabs Kauffman's foot. Kauffman tumbles forwards and just manages to tag in Deathbringer. Huge pop. Latta staggers backwards, begging for mercy, as Deathbringer steps through the ropes. Kauffman rolls out of the ring, and off the apron, where he is tended to by the Subway Psycho. Deathbringer approaches Latta, and grabs him by the throat. He performs a chokeslam on Latta and makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! Latta rolls towards his corner, but is stopped by 'Bringer, who drags him to his feet and whips him into the ropes again. He attempts to clothesline Latta, but Latta slides between his ropes and escapes from the ring.] SR: What a smart move by Latta! Take your time, Joe... get your breath back. [Deathbringer waits in the ring for Latta, who receives words of advice from Lau and Sasha. Latta climbs back onto the apron, and Deathbringer tries to grab him to bring him back in the ring, but Latta uses the top rope to catapult himself over 'Bringer with a sunset flip. He pulls with all his might at 'Bringer's legs, and finally manages to topple the big man. The referee counts - 1 - 2 - kick out! Both men get back to their feet, and a slugfest erupts. Latta blocks two big right hands from Deathbringer, and counters with two of his own. Deathbringer is staggered, and Latta bounces off the ropes with a dropkick to send the big man crashing to the mat. Rather than covering 'Bringer, Latta instead tries to remove Deathbringer's mask.] TD: Latta said he was going to get Yawnbringer's mask as a trophy, and he's going to make good on that promise! [Latta tugs at a part of the mask near the jaw, and falls backwards in shock as some of the mask comes away, revealing what looks like the corresponding part of a skull underneath. He backtracks as fast as possible on his behind into the corner, his eyes wide. He throws the part of mask he was holding to the outside, where it is picked up by Lau. In the ring, Deathbringer suddenly sits up and looks straight at Latta with his eyes glowing intensely. Massive pop.] SR: Yuck! That is _disgusting_, Dross! The Deathbringer's going to need a bit of a make-up job to cover that hole up. TD: I wonder whether Latta and Lau still think Deathbringer's just a normal human being?! [Deathbringer stalks Latta, and drags him to his feet. He whips him into the ropes, and performs his Scythe flying clothesline, nearly taking Latt's head off. Big pop.] TD: What elevation on that clothesline! Latta's in big trouble! [Deathbringer hauls Latta to his feet again and hoists him up onto the top rope of a neutral corner. He climbs the ropes, and Tiger Claw storms the ring, but, quick as a cat, the Psycho dives through the ropes and intercepts the Thai boxer, and the two men tumble through the ropes to the outside, brawling all the way.] SR: Come on, ref! That's a disqualification offence right there! The Stinker had no business putting his hands on Tiger Claw! TD: I think the official is more concerned with what Deathbringer's about to do to Latta! Here comes the Burial! [Deathbringer performs the deadly Burial piledriver from the top rope, and Latta is left flat out in the ring. Huge pop as Deathbringer tags in a now-recovered Kauffman, who enters the ring and drags Latta to his feet. Suddenly, Brian Lau gets up onto the apron and badmouths Kauffman. Huge pop as Dan nails Lau with a right hand and knocks him back to the arena floor. The crowd are popping like mad; as Tiger Claw is kept occupied by the Psycho on the outside, Kauffman drags Latta to his feet once more and whips him into the ropes before bouncing off the opposite side of the ring himself. He launches himself with his flipping clothesline, and connects! The fans go wild as Kauffman makes the cover - he hooks the leg - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: No! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! TD: That was the "Lights Out", Kauffman's trademark flipping clothesline. What a manoeuvre! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, by pinfall: Dan "Flash" Kauffman and Deathbringer! [Huge pop! Hearing the bell, Claw reenters the ring and begins brawling with Kauffman. Deathbringer joins the fray, as does the Psycho, and soon Claw and Latta are ejected from the ring. Lau picks up his two men on the outside, and looks extremely angry.] TD: This has got to be rock bottom for Brian Lau. He's not had a good week. After all that success at manipulating the Psycho and getting him stripped of the title, first Claw loses the belt, and then his Syndicate is beaten by Deathbringer and Kauffman. I guess the last thing he'd want to hear right now is that "what goes around, comes around!" SR: Shut up, Dross. This is only a minor setback for the Syndicate. Lau told me himself that there are new members waiting in the wings that these three morons won't be able to cope with. Tiger Claw's got his rematch against Kinder... it's all under control. TD: Well, right now he's going to have to leave with his tail between the legs, because he's played all his aces tonight, and found that these three superstars had a few tricks left up their sleeves! What a triumphant return for Dan "Flash" Kauffman! It's great to see him back in the ring! SR: Triumphant return?! He was beaten like a dog all the way through that match! TD: I think you were watching a different match again, Steve. [The Syndicate head up the aisle, Tiger Claw turning back and making threatening gestures to the triumphant trio in the ring, who wave him away. The Subway Psycho stands between Deathbringer and Kauffman and raises their hands in victory. The crowd are all on their feet, cheering them on, as fireworks once more erupt in the roof of the Superdome.] TD: That just about wraps it up for us here tonight, folks, but what an action-packed show it's been! I'll be back on Tuesday with another IIWF Control Centre Update, and this Wednesday's Midweek Mayhem will be originating live from the US Air Arena in Landover, Maryland - matches already confirmed for that card include the Subway Psycho facing Brad Kinder for the Intercontinental title, and Robski battling Fisto Flash in a Knockout Match, plus much, much more! Next Saturday Night, we'll make the final stop on our tour as we reach New York, and the card will come at you live and loud from the New Jersey Meadowlands Arena. But, for now, we're out of time. Say goodnight, Steve. SR: I want to get in there and knock those idiots' heads together. TD: Quite. Well, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut to overhead shot of the ring as the three wrestlers celebrate their victory, spotlights swirling over the canvas. Pan up to the huge IIWF banners suspended from the ceiling, illuminated by fireworks and lighting, and fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+