##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- * LIVE! * USAir Arena, Landover, Maryland * * 31 July 1996 * [Opening graphics fade through to interior shot of the USAir Arena, as fireworks explode high in the roof of the arena. Pan down past the thousands of excited fans to the broadcast table, at which stand Larry Morton and Becky LaRue.] LM: Welcome everybody to the jam-packed USAir Arena! We are coming at you _live_ from Landover, Maryland! Are you ready? Because it's time for more IIWF Midweek Mayhem! I'm Larry Morton, and with me, as always, is the lovely Becky LaRue. It's great to be here with all these great fans, isn't it, Becky? BL: Great for them, sure. LM: Er... right. What a night of action we've got ahead of us this week! We'll be seeing two more matches in the IIWF Tag Team Championship Tournament, as the Alphabet Boys take on the Returners, and the Atomic Destroyers battle Stunt Team USA, in the match that could well hold the key to the tag team gold! If Ron and Steve win tonight, and the Destroyers beat the High Plains Drifters on Saturday, then Stunt Team USA become the new champions! However, if the Destroyers beat Stunt Team USA tonight, and then are beaten by the Drifters on Saturday night, then Pale and Easy get the titles. But if... BL: [interrupting] Whoa, Larry, I can see you're taxing your brain so much you're about to pass out. LM: Anyway, it's a very important match. We'll also see the Punster back in the ring after that defeat at the hands of Blackjack Haley a couple of weeks ago, as the goatee-sporting joker faces somebody who seems to be humour-impaired. I'm talking about "Frost" Scott Morrison. BL: And Morrison is going to be even colder than usual right here tonight. After he was robbed of certain victory by the clumsiness of that idiot "Spare Parts" Hunter Robertson on Saturday Night, he's vowed to take no prisoners whatsoever in the ring. He's going to take that wimpy Punster and wrap him around the ringpost. You mark my words. LM: The Punster's pal, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, will also be here to showcase his numerous talents as he goes up against the Prince of Darkness. Billy will be looking for a victory here tonight - he's going to need all the momentum he can get going into this Saturday's match against "Soundbite" Steve Roberts' mystery champion. BL: Looking for a victory is as far as Shakespeare's going to get, Larry. The dark Prince is another IIWF superstar in a bad mood right now... he feels he's got some unfinished business with the Deathbringer, and he'll go through Billy to get to him. LM: In other action, Robski and Fisto Flash will try to settle their score once and for all as they collide in a Knockout Match. BL: We're going to need some protection down here for that match, Larry. Those two go at each other like starving animals even when they're within normal stipulations, but tonight there are no rules -- the last man standing is the winner! LM: It's going to be wild, that's for sure! And tonight's main event pits the new IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Brad "Bodybag" Kinder, against the people's champion, the Subway Psycho. I have a feeling that we're going to see another title change on Mayhem this week! BL: Is that like the feeling you got after you tried to cook yourself dinner with the hairy leftovers in the fridge that had been there for about three months? LM: Becky, please. BL: You were in hospital about a week, Larry. I should say it was probably a bad feeling, right? LM: I guess so, but do we have to... BL: [interrupting] Well, it'll be the Psycho spending a week in hospital after his match tonight. Brad didn't get his nickname for nothing, you know. He's going to keep that title... at any cost! LM: We'll see about that. All that action's still to come here tonight, folks, but first, let's recap on the matches we've seen already tonight, before we came on air: - MAN OF STEEL faced the Antipodean athlete with an attitude, MR. DAMAGE, and narrowly came out on top after a gruelling contest. Steel finally put Damage away with his Doomsday top rope powerbomb. It was quite a performance from the American Hero, was it not, Becky? BL: He was as limp as a slap from a wet fish, as always, Larry. LM: You don't like the American Heroes, do you, Becky? BL: Does Dan Kauffman think he's great? Does the Subway Psycho wear eye makeup? Does Robski have some kind of prostate gland problem? LM: [interrupting] I get the picture, Becky. - TIGER CLAW defeated PALE RIDER of the High Plains Drifters in a match that dazzled with breathtaking displays of supreme athleticism... BL: Woah, careful there, Larry -- you'll run out of superlatives if you keep that up. LM: ...Claw was more aggressive than ever, and although Pale Rider put up one hell of a fight, Claw finished the cowboy off with a relentless combo of his punching fury, a back heel kick, and then the devastating flying Golden Tiger Strike knee drop. Tiger Claw's at his deadliest right now, Becky. BL: For once, you got that right, Larry. He's going right back after Brad Kinder to get that belt back. LM: - "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON defeated "MACHINE" HUNTER ROBERTSON via his armbar submission, but only with the help of "Frost" Scott Morrison. Morrison came down to the ring during the match and did his best to distract Robertson, but Hunter kept focused on his dangerous opponent. When Sexton flipped him from the ring, Morrison nailed Hunter in the shoulder and upper arm with a steel chair, while Sexton distracted the official. This clearly exacerbated the already excruciating armbar, and Hunter had no choice but to submit. After the match, Sexton refused to release the hold, and it took the arrival of the Punster and Billy Shakespeare on the scene to force Sexton and Morrison away from ringside. Sexton was his usual arrogant self, coming down to the booth here before the match and saying something about being in town and taking requests... He and Morrison are going to get theirs soon, Becky. BL: What are you talking about, Larry? Robertson can't do anything - he's 'armless! Bwahahaha! LM: [pause] Let's move on: - TONY STARKS defeated CURT BLANCHE [J] in less than thirty seconds. He hit the ring like a house on fire, nearly taking Blanche's head off with a clothesline, then going straight for the Dragon suplex and the cover! I think Starks was a little annoyed, Becky. BL: No kidding, Larry. I guess all the speculation about that guy who seems to have such an interest in him has got him fired up. Hey, you don't think it's Moondust making unwelcome advances again, do you? LM: [tiredly] No, I do not, Becky. In other action: - VINNY CAPPICOLA defeated MAGUS in a real see-saw power battle. Both men brought out the biggest guns in their artillery, but in the end, Cappicola bested Magus with his Eradicator, after a piledriver and an elbowsmash from the top rope. - DON ANTONIO defeated PHANTOM by disqualification, when the Sandman came down to the ring and attacked the Family's manager, Salvatore Fiorello! The Sandman, bedecked in his white mask and tights, just ran down to ringside and set about Fiorello! The referee immediately disqualified Phantom, but the Family really had their work cut out trying to beat off the Dark Knights. BL: It was great, Larry! The Dark Knights are sending out a message, loud and clear, that they're not going to be messed with here in the IIWF! LM: But attacking a _manager_?! Sal isn't a wrestler. He was just at ringside taking care of his boys, and the Sandman just came out of nowhere! BL: It's real simple, Larry. By taking out Farinelli, or whatever his name is, the Knights take out the brains of the outfit. To put it simply, the Don and Vinny are more like the Alphabet Boys than you realise. Without Sal, they're just a couple of goons. LM: I have to disagree, Becky. There are a few things you just don't do: and one of them is lay a finger on the mentor of the Family. The Don's going to make the Knights pay -- at Midsummer Madness, if not before. In any case, Don and Vinny had to help Sal back up the aisle. We don't know how badly hurt he was, but we'll find out more in the next couple of days. Moving on: - BLACKJACK HALEY continued his seemingly unstoppable rise with a victory over "LEGEND" BRANDON BENNETT. Bennett took a huge amount of punishment in this one, and nearly pulled the victory out on a number of occasions, gaining an incredibly close near fall after a "Backlund bridge", but he eventually fell victim to a towering bodyslam, and was pinned -- although Haley had his feet on the ropes for extra leverage. Who knows whether Bennett would have kicked out? BL: Who cares, Larry? If Haley hadn't got him then, he would have got him sooner or later. He's a big guy with a lot of talent. It's going to take someone a lot bigger than Bennett to stop the runaway giant. LM: Somebody like the Outlaw, perhaps? Those two behemoths meet this Saturday night in the Meadowlands Arena! Anyway, we must get on with tonight's live action. We'll begin with one of the two tag team tournament matches. BL: [sarcastically] Oh, goodie. I can hardly wait. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF World Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: The Returners vs. Alphabet Boys _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ LM: The quest to crown new IIWF Tag Champions marches on here tonight with another tag tournament contest. BL: Yeah, but after the events of Saturday Night, when the Alphabet Boys and the Atomic Destroyers were stupid enough to fall for that trick by the High Plains Drifters, it looks like the A-Boys are pretty much out of the title picture. I'm not sure the Returners were ever really in the title picture. Why do we always seem to get the boring tag matches on Midweek Mayhem? LM: Bor...? Becky! We've got a capacity crowd at the USAir Arena and a large television audience dying to see this match. BL: Yeah, but it doesn't mean anything. These teams both suck like... LM: [interrupting] Becky, please! Uh, let's get up to the ring! [The USAir Arena picks up the chant which has been made popular over the course of the IIWF US Tour, "Spark-Plug, Spark-Plug," as IIWF ring announcer Sparkplug Lee enters the ring with the microphone. He sheepishly waves to the crowd.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, this IIWF Tag Team Tournament match is one fall. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 575 pounds and accompanied to the ring by the lovely Celes Cole, from the Valley of the Shadow of Death and South Figaro, they are Sabin Figaro and Locke Cole: The Retuuuuurners! [Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" plays to a moderate pop as Celes Cole leads her men to the ring. Several fans whistle at Celes, but she merely smiles as the entourage makes its way to the ring.] LM: I've really been wondering where this Valley of the Shadow of Death is. BL: Head for downtown Washington about midnight, Larry. I think you'll find it. [As The Returners enter the ring, the music changes to a children's chorus and the fans offer a mixed pop.] SL: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 589 pounds, hailing from parts unknown, they are Abie and Zed... the Alphabet Boys! [The mixed pop continues as Abie and Zed appear and just stare out at the crowd. They seem mesmerized by the USAir Arena, which gains them even more fans as they walk slowly to the ring.] LM: What is up with Abie and Zed tonight? I've never seem them this introverted. BL: Maybe it was that second trip to the White House they made this afternoon. I hear Bill really loves these guys because they remind him of his Cabinet, but Chelsea got mad when Abie dangled Socks off the roof until Zed promised to buy him a snow cone. LM: Oh, would you please!? Uh, that didn't really happen, did it? BL: You didn't notice all the Secret Service men at ringside? LM: Oh jeez. And the Clintons being from Arkansas, you'd think they would be used to people like Abie and Zed. BL: Hey, Larry, you're thinking out loud again. LM: Oh damn. Let's get this match started . . . please. [The referee calls for the bell as Abie open the match against Sabin Figaro. Abie shows surprising skill by taking command with a series of combination punches and kicks. He floors Figaro with a headbutt and adds a leg drop. He pulls Figaro to his feet and hits a devastating piledriver that leaves Figaro prone in the middle of the ring. Abie rolls over and makes the tag to Zed.] LM: This is surely a memorable night in the IIWF! Have Abie and Zed finally gelled as a team? They're wrestling well and using good teamwork. BL: I told you, they felt like they embarrassed the IIWF at the White House today. It's not like they've never embarrassed the federaton before, but they apparently want to make it up here tonight. LM: Well, let's see if it lasts. [Zed backs Figaro into a corner and pounds him with three knife-edge chops. He whips him into the opposite corner and follows him in for a splash. Figaro crumples to the mat as Zed accepts the cheers of the crowd. Celes Cole helps pull Figaro from the ring and walks him back to his own corner, then rolls him under the bottom rope so Locke Cole can make the tag.] LM: Hey, Celes Cole just bypassed the Alphabet Boys and walked Figaro back to the corner. Is that legal? BL: The Alphabet Boys may have a new attitude right now, but they're still dumb as a pile of rocks. [Cole hits the ring on fire and kicks Zed in the midsection. Abie attempts to intervene, but Cole also kicks him and then slams the Alphabet Boys' heads together to a big pop. However, it seems to have no effect on the Alphabet Boys, who knock their own heads together two more times before double clotheslining Cole.] LM: Uh-oh, I think the new attitude is becoming undone right now. This is shades of the old Alphabet Boys. BL: Yeah, like a shade on an Elvis lamp. [Abie begins running around the ring chanting "kit-ty... kit-ty" as Zed begins stomping on Cole. Figaro enters the ring and begins pounding on Abie, who quickly turns the tide and presses Figaro. The ring microphone picks up Abie screaming "Socks goes bye-bye" before he drops Figaro over the top rope and then flings himself over the rope as well.] LM: I thought you were lying about the White House incident Becky. I apologize. BL: You really need to trust my reporting skills, you know. [In the ring, Zed hits a powerbomb on Cole and applies a spinning full nelson. As he releases the hold, Cole flies halfway across the ring and Zed quickly covers him: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: The Alphabet Boys have won this match convincingly! It makes you wonder how good they could be with a bit of sanity. BL: Ummmm, no it doesn't. [Zed climbs from the ring and slaps Abie, who is hunting in the first row of ringside seats still chanting "kit-ty . . . kit-ty." Abie fires back on Zed and they fight each other all the way back to the locker room.] ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF World Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: Atomic Destroyers vs. Stunt Team USA _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ LM: We haven't seen much of the Atomic Destroyers in this tournament. They're really the wild card. They control their own fate. BL: Which cliche book have you been memorizing? LM: Well, it's true. They're coming into the tourney fresh, they win and it's the finals. BL: They still have to beat Blunt Team USA. Not that doing isn't easier than saying. They wrestle about as well as this guy dresses. RA: Coming to the ring, accompanied by the Senator, and weighing in at a combined 715lbs, here are Larn and Steroid: the Atomic Destroyers! [There is a noticable heel pop. A chant of "High-Velocity, High-Velocity" begins but it quickly degenerates into something unintelligible. The Destroyers climb into the ring.] RA: Their opponents in this round of the tag team tourney, weighing 588 pounds: Steve "Airborne" Forget and Ron "Danger Freak" Fire, they are Stunt Team USA! [Huge pop from the crowd. Fire and Forget jog out delivering low-fives. The pull up short where two fans hold lifesized cardboard cutouts of the Stunt Teamers. They pose briefly with their paper doubles.] BL: Now there are two faces that only a mother could love. Proving once again that the fans will buy anything the wizards in merchandising advertise. [Stunt Team continues to the ring.] LM: The novelty bath soaps shaped like the IIWF Superstars were popular. BL: Not nearly as popular as the Becky LaRue Pez dispensers. [The bell rings and Ron Fire locks up with Larn. Larn attacks with a double thrust to the throat. He throws Fire to the rope and quickly gets on a sleeper hold. "Danger Freak" pinwheels his arms to no avail. Larn drags him to the corner and tags in his partner. Steroid unleashes a series of forearm blows before tossing Fire with a back drop. Steroid falls for the splash but instead lands on Fire's upraised feet. Fire launches Steroid into the ropes. He rolls and tags in Steve Forget.] BL: A win here and the Atomic Destroyers will face the High Plains Drifters for the belts. LM: And don't think for a minute that those two teams like each other. BL: I'm sure Dictator Daniel is drooling for that matchup. It's almost as if he had a hand in planning it from the beginning. [Forget claps his hands then delivers back hand knife edge chops to Steroid. The Atomic Destroyer replies with a headbutt under the Stunt man's chin. Forget staggers, trying to shake out the fog from his head. He reaches out for Fire, but instead Steroid grabs his arm. He drops and snaps the elbow across his knee. Forget rolls in pain. Steroid stomps on the arm, then leg drops across the neck. He hooks a leg 1...2.. Forget lifts his shoulder. Steroid whips Forget against the ropes. Forget comes back with a mexican armdrag which spins Steroid. "Airborne" plants a standing drop kick which sends Steroid to the ropes. Ron Fire tags in. "Danger Freak" catches Steroid with a verticle suplex. Larn runs out and the two exchange blows. The ref orders Larn back to his corner while Fire covers - 1 - 2 - Steroid powers out.] BL: If Ron hadn't wasted so much time showing off, he might have got the pin. LM: You, of course, mean if Larn hadn't attacked him he might have got the pin. BL: Did it sound like that's what I meant?! [Ron Fire heaves the massive Steroid up into his feared gorilla press slam, dropping the destroyer to the mat. Fire makes the tag to Forget. Steve climbs the ropes, stepping into Fire's hand. Fire launches his partner across the ring. The crowd pops, and there is a flash of illegal camera equiptment. Forget lands the flying body press on Steroid, but it does equal damage to both combatants. The two lie unmoving.] LM: And they said man wasn't meant to fly. What phenomenal action here tonight. This tag tourney is everything they said it would be and more. BL: Who writes this stuff for you Larry? Please don't tell me that you do it yourself. LM: I like to think that I am considered a serious broadcast journalist. BL: Well, of course you'd like to _think_ that. [Suprisingly, Steroid is the first to his feet. He slams Forget head first into the turnbuckle before staggering over to tag in his partner. A growing wave of cheers and jeers begins from the entry arch and ripples through the arena. The High Plains Drifters make their way to the ring.] LM: What are they doing here? Oh, there's going to be trouble. Someone alert security. BL: Larry, were you a tattle-tale in school too? Remember how everyone always beat up on that kid? [Both men in the ring stand watching the newcomers. Easy Rider tosses a writhing sack into the ring.] LM: I knew there'd be trouble. That.. that... that's one of those rattlesnakes they were killing in their interview on the report. Only this one isn't dead! BL: Aaaah, is widdle Warry all afraid of a big bad baby snakey? LM: Now quit that. That's a vicious, venomous reptile in there. BL: Who - Steroid? LM: No. No-no-no. No! Oh, forget it. BL: Steve Forget? Now you really have me confused. [In the confusion, Pale Rider tries to hand a spur to Ron Fire. The Stunt Man denies the gift, threatening Pale. Larn and Steroid consult in their corner. Steve Forget picks up the snake bag. He holds it high for the crowd, which responds with the S-T-U-S-A chant.] LM: He's a stunt man. He's dealt with falls and explosions. A snake isn't going to scare him. BL: The sound of relief in your voice is a little too obvious. [Meanwhile, the Destroyers jump Pale Rider on the outside. Weilding it efficiently, Pale clobbers both Larn and Steroid with the spur. He rolls the stunned Larn into the ring, tossing the spur in after him. Forget has cleared the squirming bag, and he turns only to find Larn already down. The ref sees Larn, then spies the spur at Forget's feet. The ref accuses the Stunt man of using the foreign object, Forget denies, but the ref is deaf to his reasoning. Referee signals for the disqualification.] RA: Here are your winners, by disqualification: the Atomic Destroyers! LM: That's not right. The President should intercede. Can someone get me an outside line to the IIWF offices? BL: What makes you think he'll take your call? LM: He's got to. The Drifters are making a mockery of this tourney. They're choosing their own opponents. BL: Rationalize a moment Larry. Are the Drifters trying to stop the Stunt Team's momentum, or were they trying to guarentee a showdown with the Destroyers? LM: I... I don't know. This is quite confusing. It seems as if they're gunning for the Destroyers. BL: If I didn't know better, I'd almost think that wrestling results were planned. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ The Punster vs. "Frost" Scott Morrison _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ [Sparkplug Lee steps back into the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Atlanta, Georgia, standing 6 foot 4 inches and weighing 257 pounds: The Punster! BL: No, nope, I still don't like this guy. ["Beat Our Guest" chirps from the sound system. Punster struts out to cheers. When he nears the ring, he holds up his mask for the crowd to see.] LM: Get ready, here it comes... BL: I more than don't like this guy. I actually hate him. [The crowd responds as Punster mimes each word.] CROWD: U...Masked...4...it! [Punster elegantly pulls on his mask.] BL: I really, really despise this guy. LM: You're just jealous. BL: Of what? I don't see any Punster fan clubs. [On cue, the camers picks out a group in orange and green shirts lettered with "Punster Punks". They don their masks.] BL: I can't stand it. I just hate this guy so much. Even more than I hate you. RA: His opponent tonight: weighing 275 pounds and hailing from Hoboken, New Jersey, he is the man known as "Frost" - Scott Morrison! BL: Now this is what a real wrestler should look like. ["Enter Sandman" begins as "Frost" Scott Morrison walks without emotion to the ring. Someone in the crowd tosses ice at him. This is mimicked by the rest of the crowd and soon a hail of ice is falling on the unminding wrestler.] LM: Watch this battle closely. These two men will meet again in the four on four competition at Midsummer Madness. BL: If you break into an intro right now... LM: I don't have to. Midsummer Madness speaks for itself. Only the best from the IIWF. BL: I don't know why you're so excited, they're going to stick you in the locker room again. Unless you like that sort of thing. How did you feel about Moondust? [At the bell, Frost immediately goes to work. He clotheslines Punster, then quickly drops him with a snap suplex. He whips Punster into the corner. Punster jumps up on the rope and leaps backward, reversing in mid air amd landing with a splash on Frost. He locks his neck in leg scissors. Frost suffers for a moment, then manages to break the hold. The two roll up to face each other. Frost throws Punster against the ropes, grabs him and drops him with a brainbuster. Punster sweeps the legs, gets quickly to his feet, then falls back, dragging Frost with him and snapping him into the ringpost.] LM: That was... that was... I'm at a loss for words. BL: Now that's a pleasant first. LM: I don't know what that was. BL: It was a slingshot. Perfectly executed. LM: Did I hear you right? Are you gaining respect for Punster? BL: Not nearly. I am a wrestling purist. I have no opinion on any particular wrestler. I only appreciate their athletecism. LM: Can I quote you on that? [Frost staggers into the center of the ring. Punster climbs the corner. Frost turns just in time as the punning one sails over his head for a sunset flip. The ref counts 1 - "Frost" Morrison powers out. Morrison locks Punster's arm behind his back, he hooks the neck, and winches the two together. Punster cries out but cannot find a way to break the hold. Frost powers him into the corner and once, twice, three times bangs Punster's head into the turnbuckle. He looks to the crowd, half expecting a count, but receives none. He executes a waistlock over the shoulder, then tries the pin. 1 - 2 - Punster gets a foot on the ropes.] LM: This is a see-saw battle. BL: Excuse me a moment. LM: Yes? BL: Wouldn't you consider that last remark "colour"? LM: I suppose. BL: I do "colour". You're paid to sit there and look stupid. [In the ring, Frost attempts an armbar, Punster reverses, then quickly lands a scissor kick to the back of the head. Frost falls on his face and Punster begins a frog ride. Confused, Frost throws off Punster and rolls outside. Punster takes a running start and slide kicks Frost from beneath the ropes.] LM: We're seeing all kinds of action tonight. BL: You're doing it again. LM: What am I supposed to say? BL: You're the "serious broadcast journalist", think of something. [Simon Lebec and Billy Sexton make their way to the ring. Punster is very wary as he climbs the turnbuckle. He looks cautiously back and forth from the newcomers to where Frost kneels on the outside. Finally Punster decides to leap at Frost, and in that moment, Simon Lebec knocks him from the post. Punster falls to the mat.] LM: Punster did not make a very good choice there, Becky. Was that okay? BL: It was a little close to "Color", but I'll let it go this time. [Billy Sexton catches up the Punster in a full nelson. Frost climbs into the ring. He launches himself off the ropes at the imprisoned Punster. There is a shout from the back as "Machine" Hunter Robinson flies into the ring. He begins to pound Frost.] BL: These two guys _do_not_ like each other. [Machine and Frost immediatly begin to brawl. Machine slams Frost into the ring post, Frost retaliates with a huge european uppercut. Machine staggers and Frost executes his "Icebreaker" double handed chokeslam. He puts Machine in a Texas clover leaf. On the other side, Sexton and Lebec lift Punster into a double standing suplex, crashing him down hard to the canvas. A cheer rises from the crowd as Billy Shakespeare and Tony Starks rush the ring.] LM: This is chaos! BL: This is just getting good! [Starks pulls Frost off of the Machine while Shakespeare climbs the ropes. "Spotlight" dives across the ring, landing on, and breaking up the Lebec, Sexton double team on Punster.] LM: Let me see if I can straighten this out: Punster beat Lebec for his first win. Shakespeare and Lebec exchanged victories at, and following, Coronation Clash. Starks has battled both Sexton and Lebec. He's been hit with one of Lebecs awards, and he took his Oscar at Ring Wars. Frost and Machine have hated each other since the day they both arrived. Shakespeare captains his "Performers" who are Starks, Punster, and Machine against Lebec's team of Sexton, Frost and Fisto Flash. BL: But right now they're content with beating each other's brains in right here. You weren't going to give me a test on that history were you? [Punster joins Machine. They each grab an arm and together toss Frost over the ropes. Machine folows to the outside, bulldogging Frost into the guard rail, then the steps. In the ring, Starks grabs Lebec, Shakespeare grabs Sexton. Starks and Shakespeare swig their adversaries before whipping them together for a collision in the center. The two drop. Machine continues to slam Frost against the apron. Fisto Flash runs in, coming to Frost's defense.] BL: Looks like we've got both teams out here. LM: And Fisto Flash still has a bout later tonight. He can't risk being injured out here. But team unity is more important. BL: Um, he's a little late. [Punster rejoins Machine, Frost and Fisto Flash chose to retreat. They are joined on the outside by Lebec and Sexton who have been rolled out of the ring. They all hold their hands up victoriously as they parade up the aisle. In the ring, Billy Shakespeare holds high the hands of Starks and the Machine which Punster pretends to sweep the mat.] LM: I'd say that "The Performers" lived up to their name. And as Punster is showing us, they swept the ring clean. BL: Maybe Punster would quit showing off a moment and show us who won the match. LM: Just a moment, here's the decision... RA: In the match between Frost and the Punster, both men have been disqualified due to outside interference. BL: A double DQ? I feel robbed. LM: This guarentees that these teams will be even more happy to see each other at Midsummer Madness. Which, incidently, is on... BL: Resist the temptation Larry... LM: Well, look it up in IIWF Magazine, out on newstands now! ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Prince of Darkness vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ LM: One week ago on Midweek Mayhem, we saw the IIWF Intercontinental Title change hands when Brad Kinder defeated Tiger Claw with a little help from the Subway Psycho and Deathbringer. Many people thought that Billy Shakespeare should have been in that title match all along after he beat Brad Kinder. BL: Shoulda... coulda... woulda. It's just too bad that Brian Lau didn't think Shakespeare was as good as Brad, isn't it? I think Tiger Claw would still have the belt had he wrestled Shakespeare. What do you think about that, little man? [She looks at Larry menacingly.] LM: I think... you're entitled to your opinion. Let's get up to the ring. [Sparkplug Lee enters the ring as Aerosmith's "Boogie Man" begins to blare over the arena's PA system.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is one fall. Introducing first, from parts unknown, weighing in at 319 pounds and accompanied to the ring by Dr. Faustus, he is: the Prince of Darkness! [A red spotlight picks out Dr. Faustus and the Prince of Darkness as they enter the arena to a big heel pop. POD stops and grabs one homemade sign that reads "Prince of DORK-ness" and shreds it before throwing it back in the fan's face. Closer to the ring he nods at another fan who holds up the POD's official IIWF poster: "The Prince of Darkness . . . From Hell to an Arena Near You!" Faustus and POD enter the ring as "Little Willie" begins to play.] SL: And his opponent, from parts unknown and weighing in at 237 pounds, he is "Spotlight" Biiiiiilly Shakespeare! [Big pop as a silver spotlight follows Billy moving quickly down the aisle, slapping the hands of the fans who reach to touch him. He stops near the entrance to the ring, nods and points at the Prince of Darkness before continuing to the ring and vaulting the top rope into the ring.] LM: Billy Shakespeare seems to have plenty of fan support here in Landover. They know who the true IIWF Intercontinental Champion is. BL: Yeah, but they'll have to wait a couple of matches to see Brad. Now call the match you little moron. LM: Sigh. Let's get this match underway. [The referee calls for the opening bell. Shakespeare and the Prince of Darkness circle each other before locking up, but the POD uses his superior size to power Shakespeare into the corner. He hesitates, then follows Billy into the corner, but waited too long as he meets an empty corner and slams into the turnbuckle. Shakespeare trips him and goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: That should be the tone of this match. Shakespeare has a definite speed advantage, but he's giving up a lot of size to the Prince of Darkness. BL: And neither one of them has the Intercontinental Championship, I might add. [Shakespeare is quickly to his feet and runs to the ropes, hitting a dropkick on the POD on the return. He goes to the top rope, but the POD beats him to the punch and catches Billy on the top rope. The POD hurls Shakespeare across the ring and begins stomping him. He then hits a superplex and a power slam before going for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: This is exactly the game plan the Prince of Darkness needs to employ. He needs to keep Billy Shakespeare off his feet and use his power advantage. BL: Hmmm, this is a tough crossword puzzle I'm working. Hey Larry, what's an eight-letter word for foolish. Wait, I've got it: K-A-U-F-F-M-A-N. Bwahahahaha! LM: You're not funny, Becky. And keep your attention on this match, please. [The POD hits a power bomb, then applies a choke hold on Shakespeare. He breaks the choke as the referee begins his count, but Dr. Faustus draws the referee's attention and the POD once again applies the choke hold as Shakespeare attempts to kick out of it. The referee finally turns around and forces the POD to break the hold. After dragging Shakespeare to his feet, the POD whips him into the ropes and plants his boot in Billy's face. As Shakespeare hits the mat, the POD covers: 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: Billy Shakespeare is showing some toughness here. It's beginning to frustrate the POD, I think. BL: A six-letter word for manure: M-O-R-T-O-N. [The POD whips Shakespeare through the ropes and to the arena floor, then draws the referee's attention as he attempts to follow him out. As the referee backs the POD into the ring, Dr. Faustus applies several kicks to Shakespeare's ribs before moving away and looking innocently at the referee.] LM: That is disgusting! This is the sort of interference IIWF President Dan Spreadbury must do something about! BL: Nine-letter word for incompetent: S-P-R-E-A-D-B- ... oh damn, that's ten letters. LM: You're in trouble now, Becky! BL: Hey, at least I didn't make any Clinton-Arkansas jokes on the air! [As Shakespeare makes his way back to the ring apron, the POD attempts to suplex him back into the ring. Shakespeare blocks it, however, and sunset-flips back into the ring, rolling up the POD: 1 - 2 -kickout! Both men get back to their feet, but Shakespeare hits a drop kick that sends POD flying off of the ropes. He whips POD into the ropes again and hits a frankensteiner on his opponent then signals for the curtain call as he climbs to the top rope.] LM: Wow, I've never seen Billy Shakespeare pull off a frankensteiner before. He's going for his finisher! BL: That's called the "Curtain Call" for those of us who... hey, what's this!? [The fans turns as Steve "Soundbite" Roberts flies down the aisle, leaps to the ring apron and hits Shakespeare's knee with a foreign object. Billy looses his balance and tumbles from the top rope into the ring as the referee calls for the bell disqualifying the POD, who rolls from the ring and joins Dr. Faustus before both head up the aisle, leaving Shakespeare writhing in pain.] SL: Here is your winner by disqualification: Billy Shakes . . . [Sparkplug Lee is cut off as Roberts grabs the ring microphone.] SR: Shut up Sparkplug, you little toad. I've had enough of this little jerk Billy Pukespeare running his mouth in the IIWF. You think you can embarrass me on national television, chump? Well I can't wrestle anymore because of an injury, but I've found someone who can finish you off for good! Let's give a big welcome to my champion! [There is a murmur in the crowd, then a big heel pop as Fisto Flash charges to ringside and slides into the ring. He begins stomping on Shakespeare's injured knee and Roberts joins him in the ring.] LM: We've got to get some help out here! What a cheap shot by Steve Roberts and Fisto Flash! [Roberts pulls Shakespeare to his feet and Fisto Flash holds his gleaming metal fist in the air for all to see. There is no doubt in anyone's mind what is coming next. Then there is a big face pop as the Punster charges down the aisle and flies into the ring. Roberts, having seen him coming, drops Shakespeare and bails out of the ring. The Punster drop kicks Fisto Flash through the ropes and then stands guard over Shakespeare as Roberts and Fisto Flash make threatening motions toward him. Ben Dare, Don Thatt and "Nifty" Ned Norton also come to the ring, forcing Roberts and Fisto Flash to back off. Roberts grabs the ring mic again.] SR: Pukespeare, I've got my champion. You're about to find out what real pain is about! [Roberts and Fisto Flash leave the ring area as the Punster helps eventually helps Billy from the ring and back to the locker room as the others guard them.] LM: I just don't know how to find the words to describe what we've just seen. BL: How about a simple five-letter word: G-R-E-A-T! LM: You really are disgusting in your own way, Becky. Let's just go to our next match. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ Knockout Match: Robski vs. Fisto Flash _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ LM: As if the IIWF hadn't reached new lows with the "First Blood" match and the "No Rules" match, now we have a knockout battle. BL: I can't say that it's wrestling, but if two guys agree that this is the best way to settle their problems... LM: You condone two men beating each other senseless? BL: Why not? They do it over me all the time. [A chorus of booing accompanies "Keep Right on 'til the End of the Road". Robski struts to the ring with Jasmine trailing behind. The flag of England is draped across his shoulders, that same design repeated on his face and boxing gloves. Jasmine drags the Stars and Stripes of the United States behind her, sweeping the floor clean as she passes. She drapes the American flag on the ring steps. Robski takes his time walking over Old Glory and up the steps. The crowd begins to chant "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" Robski lifts and cocks his leg exaggeratedly. He sighs in relief.] LM: Please tell me he just didn't do what I think he did. BL: [Holding her nose] This is one time I'm not glad to be sitting so close to the action. [Fans nearby wave their signs and programs in an attempt to clear the stench. One fans retches and gasps for fresh air.] BL: Small blessing, at least he isn't able to open his fly with those boxing gloves on. [The Sex Pistols "God Save the Queen" shouts from the speakers. Robski pounds the ropes in fury. Fisto Flash comes to the ring with his manager, Robo Stone.] LM: This will be one bout where Fisto Flash's steel hand will not play a part. Both wrestlers...er...boxers have on regulation padded boxing gloves. BL: Larry, how long have we been doing Mayhem? LM: A couple months..? BL: Do you really believe that boxing glove will stay on Fisto's hand? LM: Yes, yes I do. BL: Do you also believe in the Easter Bunny? [The referee checks the gloves. He asks Robski to remove his right glove, Robski does, and the ref pulls out a lead weight. Robski pleads innocence, blaming it on Jasmine. He relaces. The bell rings and the ref commands them to butt gloves. Robski lifts a knee to the abdomen.] BL: Didn't take long for them to resort to wrestling tactics. [Robski holds Fisto's head in a side headlock, delivering a rapid sucession of rights to the face. Fisto throws Robski off onto the ropes. Robski bounces back into a right jab which momentarily stuns him. The chant of "U-S-A" begins anew. Outside, Robo Stone beins to work his way towards Jasmine.] BL: I'm a patriotic American and all that, but after this bout, and the Blunt Teamers, that chant is really beginning to grate on my nerves. LM: We're in the USAir Arena. What else would you expect? BL: Shut up, Larry. [The boxers square off in more conventional fashion, exchanging jabs and crosses. That doesn't last long before Flash scoop slams Robski. Robski trips Fisto Flash and delivers a prone pummeling before Fisto rolls away. Jasmine pounds the mat in an attempt to energize Robski. Robo Stone cops a quick feel of Jasmine's behind.] BL: Oooh yuck! I think I'm going to be ill. Being touched by Robo Stone could put a lady off men forever. [Jasmine slaps at Robo who ducks and runs away. In the ring, Fisto Flash delivers a couple of shots, some of them legal. Robski retaliates with a huge uppercut that lifts Fisto Flash momentarily into the air before he drops to the canvas. Robski commences kicking him in the head and ribs before the referee pulls him away. Robski threatens the ref, but doesn't continue further. Jasmine makes her way over to Robo Stone, she bats her eyelashes and sways her hips seductively. She blows him a kiss.] BL: Don't tell me she likes this guy! I thought her taste was bad enough when she was with Robski. She's giving all women a bad name. LM: And you'e such a champion for femiminity. BL: You wanna feel one woman's strength, Larry? LM: Um..ah.. [Robo looks to the crowd for suggestions. He is met with wolf whistles of support. He strides towards her. She reaches for his belt buckle.] BL: No..no..no! [Jasmine grabs a cup from a nearby fan, pouring its liquid contents down the front of Robo Stone's pants.] BL: That's my girl! That should cool his ardour just a little. [Fisto Flash delivers a left hook then a right cross. He clubs Robski over he back of the head with a double axe-handle blow. He muscles Robski into the corner, the ref calls for the break, but Robski delivers a straight left, right jab combination instead. Robo Stone grabs the Union Jack Robski entered with. Jasmine grabs the other end, and a tug-of-war begins.] LM: I'm not sure where the action is more exciting, in the ring or outside. BL: It all depends on your interest: men beating on men, or men beating on women. LM: Wellm that's a sobering thought. BL: First time you've been sober all night. LM: I'll have you know that I announced boxing before I came to work here. BL: And you weren't any good at that either. [The boxers exchange jabs. Fisto Flash uncorks a vicious left hook which staggers Robski. With gloves impeding the attempt, Flash tries to whip Robski to the ropes. He fails, and Robski seizes the opportunity to smash Fist with a huge uppercut. Robo Stone gets possesion of the flag and begins to unceremoniously use it to wipe his damp crotch. Jasmine draws Robski's attention to the spectacle, and the englishman runs to the ropes. The ref keps him from getting to the outside. Fisto Flash removes the glove from his metal hand.] BL: I knew it! I told you so! He's taking off the glove. LM: He didn't even have to unlace that glove to get it off. He had that glove rigged from the beginning. BL: Aaah, the sound of ripping velcro. It brings back memories of...um, never mind...was I talking out loud? [Fisto Flash whistles for Robski's attention. Robski turns and Fisto lands his hand upside the Englishman's head. Robski drops like a rock. The referee checks his eyes, holds a mirror before his mouth to make sure he's still breathing, and declares Robski unconscious. Jasmine runs backstage. The ref grabs Fisto's right wrist, raising it in victory.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner via a knockout: Fisto Flash! [Big heel pop.] LM: The referee is too short to see that steel fist raised above his head. Fisto Flash should be disqualified. BL: Just because he's better endowed than the rest of the wrestlers? I mean, just because he has better equipment. That is, I'm talking about his hand, y'know. [Robo Stone enters the ring and stands over Robski, taunting him. He even bends down and slaps him across the face a few times. The referee threatens Stone, but his attention is diverted by the arrival of a second referee, who starts animatedly conversing with the match official, signalling the use of the metal fist. Robo notices the debate and serruptitiously tells Fisto to replace the glove. Fisto huddles into a corner and struggles with the glove.] LM: Hang on a second - it looks like this official saw what happened backstage and is telling the match referee to reverse the decision. BL: Aw, come on, Larry. There's no second referee in wrestling. [The match official goes over to the corner, and forces Fisto to turn around. Flash is still struggling to replace the glove over his steel fist. The referee gets in Flash's face, but is pulled away by Robo Stone. The referee shakes his head, and signals for the ring announcer to climb the ringsteps. Sparkplug listens to the referee, and then makes an announcement:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has reversed the decision in this match due to the illegal use of the steel fist of Fisto Flash. Therefore, your winner: Robski! [The fans don't like either man, and so jeer anyway. Fisto and Robo are besides themselves.] LM: Cheats never prosper, Becky. BL: What about the Subway Psycho? LM: What _about_ the Subway Psycho, Becky? He's one of the most honourable athletes in the IIWF. And now he's completely exonerated of any doubt in his integrity. I understand that when the IIWF hits New York this weekend, the Psycho will be presented with the key to the city for his services to the community. BL: Frankly, I'm shocked, Larry. Even _you_ would deserve the key to the city more than the Subway Psycho. LM: In just a few moments, it'll be time for tonight's main event, but before we go up to the ring, let's go live to the office of the IIWF President, Dan Spreadbury, who's going to give us more news about the forthcoming pay-per-view spectacular, IIWF Midsummer Madness. [Cut to split-screen arrangement: the announcers' table on the left, and the IIWF President's office on the right.] LM: President Dan, it's great to have you here once again. DS: Thanks, Larry, it's good to be here. LM: You've announced four of the initial matches for Midsummer Madness, and there are two more to go. DS: Indeed there are, Larry. So without further ado, here are the two final matches. The Senate, captained by The Hangman, and featuring the Atomic Destroyers and a man specially hired by the Senator just for one night, Mr. Damage, will face the Posse, captained by the Outlaw, and featuring the Crippler and the High Plains Drifters. Let's hope this is the final chapter in the ongoing war between the Senator and the "Outlaw" Josey Wales. LM: Sparks are certainly going to fly in that encounter! What about the final four-on-four match? DS: In the final match, the Alliance of Excellence, captained by Dan Kauffman, and featuring the Subway Psycho, Deathbringer and "Legend" Brandon Bennett, will battle Brian Lau's Syndicate. Now, obviously the Syndicate's team will include Joe Latta and Tiger Claw, and I am told that a third as yet unnamed participant is already signed for the match, but Lau is still awaiting the arrival of a fourth member. LM: You can never tell exactly where you stand with Brian Lau's scheming, though, can you? DS: Even the front office is being kept out of Lau's negotiations at the moment. All we have is Lau's assurance that he's got a fourth man lined up. LM: And the identity of the third? DS: I'm told we'll find out soon enough. LM: Well, thanks for being with us here tonight, President Dan. DS: My pleasure, Larry. Enjoy the rest of the show. [Cut back to normal shot of the announcers' table.] LM: So there you have it, folks! The final two matches for the upcoming IIWF Midsummer Madness announced! What an event it's going to be, in just over two weeks, originating from the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden in New York. Right now it's time for tonight's main event, Becky, as your favourite, Brad Kinder, takes on the Subway Psycho. ~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~ IIWF Intercontinental Championship Match: Brad "Bodybag" Kinder vs. Subway Psycho _.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-.__.-~~-._ LM: What a matchup this should be. We've got the former world champion taking on the current intercontinental champ. We could see the belt change hands again here on Midweek Mayhem. BL: It'll never happen. By the time this one is over, Psycho will be wishing he had hit Brad last week instead of Tiger Claw. LM: Speaking of Tiger Claw, you have to believe that he and Lau are planning to exact revenge on the Psycho for what happened. But I think Claw is more than a bit shaken after seeing that Deathbringer isn't quite human Saturday Night. He knows Deathbringer will be watching Psycho's back. BL: Well, I'll be watching Brad's back . . . as will the other Dark Knights, I'm sure. LM: Yes, I'm sure. Let's get up to the ring! [The fans, having grown tired of the "Spark-Plug" chant, merely clap as the spotlight falls on IIWF ring announcer Sparkplug Lee.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is one fall for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship. Introducing first the challenger, from the subways of New York City, weighing 255 pounds, he is... the Subbbbbway Psycho! [Huge pop as fireworks explode in the rafters of the USAir Arena and the Subway Psycho enters the arena with spotlights on him. He raises his arms and spins around, looking at the capacity crowd. As he walks the aisle, he gives a thumbs-up to two fans who hold up posters -- the first is a homemade poster which reads "Subway Psycho: the People's Champion;" while the other is the official IIWF poster which features the Psycho's likeness and the slogan, "How Can You Stop a Runaway Train?"] LM: The people here in Landover love the Subway Psycho! BL: Maybe they're just hoping he'll clean up some of the trash in the Washington subways. Of course, the Psycho has created more trash of late -- like Washington could get any trashier. [The Psycho enters the ring, jumps to the second turnbuckle and whips the crowd into a frenzy. He make a quick obscene gesture toward Becky LaRue, who seems to enjoy the insinuation. Pantera's "War Nerve" begins to play as the Psycho jumps down and the spotlight again falls on Sparkplug Lee.] SL: And introducing the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, hailing from the Arizona Desert and weighing in at 295 pounds, he is... "Bodybag" Brad Kinnnnnder!] [Big heel pop as fireworks again explode in the rafters and Kinder strolls into the arena. He pauses and extends his arms with a smile, then points to the Intercontinental Belt around his waist before continuing to the ring. He ignores a fan who holds up four fingers at him. As he enters the ring and removes the championship belt, the referee holds the belt high for all to see to a big pop, then he calls for the opening bell. Ding! Ding!] LM: Kinder has a good weight advantage in this matchup, but both men are ring veterans who know how to win. I've got to believe though, that the longer this match goes, the more it favours the Subway Psycho. BL: Yeah, I'm sure Brad is real concerned about what you believe. The fact remains that it's hard to get the belt away from an incumbent. Why do you think Tiger Claw held it as long as he did? [Kinder and the Psycho meet chest to chest in the middle of the ring, muttering words at each other. Finally, Kinder shoves the Psycho into the corner and raises his arms to a big heel pop. The Psycho quickly moves from the corner and dropkicks Kinder into the opposite corner. Big face pop. Psycho follows up with a head scissor takedown and locks his legs as the two hit the mat. Kinder rolls and manages to plant a knee in the Psycho's midsection, breaking the hold, then applies a headlock on the Psycho, turning him from the referee's view as he sneaks in several cheap shots.] LM: The referee has his work cut out for him in this match. There's no telling what could break loose in this one! BL: With the possible exception of good commentating from Larry Morton. The Psycho is in trouble now! [Kinder pulls the Psycho to his feet and hooks his head, then hits a DDT and goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout! He powerslams the Psycho, then goes to the top rope for an elbow drop, but the former champ is able to roll out of the way at the last second and Kinder hits nothing but canvas. The Psycho is to his feet first and hammers Kinder with a double ax-handle to the head. He hits a belly-to-back suplex with a bridge that draws a count: 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: Either one of these men could end this match very quickly. They both can brawl, but both are also skilled ring technicians. BL: Do they teach you those cliches at broadcast school? [The Psycho powerslams Kinder, then goes to the top rope. He hits a moonsault and goes for the cover again: 1 - 2 - kickout. There is a sudden disturbance at the top of the aisle as Brian Lau appears to a big heel pop. The Psycho jumps to the second turnbuckle and invites Lau to ringside, making the form of a fist. Suddenly, Deathbringer appears behind Lau and clamps his hand on the manager's shoulder to a big face pop. Lau sees the cowled figure and the feared scythe, then breaks away and heads back to the dressing room. Another big face pop as Deathbringer continues to the ring area and motions that he will guard the ring from interference.] LM: Deathbringer to the rescue once again! These two make a great team, don't you think Becky? BL: No I _don't_ think! There's no reason for Deathbringer to be here except to cost Brad the title. _This_ is what the IIWF front office needs to ban! [The disturbance has given Kinder time to recover and he plants a knee in the small of Psycho's back. Kinder holds the Psycho up, sets him in position for a spinebuster, and rocks the ring as he hits it. Kinder points menacingly at Deathbringer outside the ring as he pulls the Psycho to his feet and hits a vicious gutwrech power bomb. He goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout at the last second! Again Kinder pulls the Psycho to his feet and whips him into the ropes, but both men hit simultaneous clothelines and they both hit the mat.] LM: What a blow to both men! They're barely moving! BL: Watch that cheater Deathbringer try something now. I'll kick his "Tales from the Crypt" butt if he costs Brad this match! [The referee's count gets to 8 before the Psycho uses the ropes to pull himself to his feet. He moves toward Kinder, but is met by a hard right hand to the midsection. Kinder uses the last of his strength to grab Psycho's hair and ram his face into the mat. Both men are down again.] LM: These two warriors are exhausted! Can either one muster the strength to even go for the pin? [Kinder rolls the Psycho over and covers: 1 - 2 - the Psycho gets his foot on the bottom rope at the last second. Deathbringer beats on the ring apron to get Psycho fired up as Kinder pulls the Psyco to his feet and attempts a pildriver. The Psycho strikes first, however, and flips Kinder into the middle of the ring. He then signals to Deathbringer for the Derailer and climbs to the top rope as the referee checks Kinder.] LM: Kinder is barely conscious. If the Psycho hits this . . . [Morton's words are cut off as Deathbringer cracks the pole from his scythe across the Psycho's back. The former world champion falls from the ropes face first on the mat. The referee looks up only to see Deathbringer looking back up the aisle. Big heel pop. The referee begins a count as both men are down, but Kinder crawls over to the Psycho, rolls him over, and lays an arm across him: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Here is your winner, by pinfall, and _still_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion... "Bodybag" Brad Kinder! [Big heel pop as Kinder grabs his belt and rolls from the ring. Deathbringer is pelted by trash as he climbs into the ring and stands over the Subway Psycho.] LM: I can't believe what we just saw. Deathbringer has turned on his brother in darkness! BL: Who cares as long as Brad still has the belt? LM: Yes but he . . . hey! [Morton is again cut off as the arena goes dark. When the lights come back on, there is a second Deathbringer in the ring pointing menacingly at the one standing over the Subway Psycho. He approaches that Deathbringer, pushes him into the corner, grabs his cowl and yanks it off to reveal none other than Tiger Claw. Big pop as the real Deathbringer grabs Tiger Claw by the throat, hoists him into the air, and chokeslams him before turning his attention back to the Psycho. Tiger Claw rolls from the ring and dashes up the aisle as the fans hurl trash at him. The Psycho recovers and accepts the real Deathbringer's hand to a big pop.] LM: It looks like Brian Lau really isn't to be trusted. But Tiger Claw paid the price tonight! BL: Yeah, and Brad still has the belt. Isn't it great how he is always the beneficiary of these little squabbles between Psycho and Claw? LM: Well, his luck can't hold out forever. And with Midsummer Madness coming, there's no telling what will happen. Anyway, we're just about out of time here in the USAir Arena, folks, but what a great night's action we've seen! Don't forget to tune in this Saturday as our US Tour reaches its final pre-Midsummer Madness stop at the NJ Meadowlands Arena, New York. Matches scheduled for this weekend include a huge battle between Tiger Claw and the Subway Psycho, Deathbringer battling the Hangman, and Billy Shakespeare taking on "Soundbite" Steve Roberts' "Champion" in a respect match, plus the final match in the tag team tournament and the crowning of the new IIWF World Tag Team Champions! Don't miss it, folks - it's going to be huge! BL: Can we go now, Larry? I've got to meet somebody... LM: Of course. For the lovely Becky LaRue, this is Larry Morton, saying: goodnight, everybody, and thanks for joining us! [Deathbringer and the Subway Psycho head up the aisle, hi-fiving the fans as they go. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | IIWF Home: http://users.ox.ac.uk/~univ0322/iiwf/ | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Submit material for the Report to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+