[Fade up onto slow motion footage of Midsummer Madness. A wide-angle shot of the crowd fills the screen, as fireworks erupt high in the rafters of MSG. Over these scenes, voice over:] TD: Midsummer Madness: a night of triumph... [images of Deathbringer wearing the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship belt with Dan Kauffman and the Subway Psycho raising his arms] and a night of tragedy [images of Tony Starks and "Machine" Hunter Robertson]; a night of firsts [images of Crimson Storm being attacked by Blackjack Haley], and a night of lasts [images of Billy Shakespeare performing his Curtain Call on Fisto Flash]; a night of good [images of the entrance of the American Heroes, with Casey hi-fiving the fans in his red, white and blue trunks], and a night of evil [images of Casey reemerging later on in his black trunks, laughing at the fans]; from Madison Square Garden, over forty thousand fans in attendance, and a live television audience of millions, witnessed the most exciting night of wrestling action of all time. Only from the IIWF! [Opening graphics:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Update - 20 August 1996 ----------------------------------------------- [Cut to Tim Dross sitting in the IIWF Control Centre.] Welcome to another IIWF Control Centre update, folks. I'm Tim Dross, and what a weekend of ups and downs we've had. On Saturday night, we all witnessed one of the greatest nights of action in wrestling history, but all that was forgotten late Sunday night, when a tragic accident struck two of the IIWF's brightest stars, extinguishing the light of one and putting the other into freefall. [Aerial footage shot from a helicopter rolls; it shows the wreckage of a small aeroplane, cordoned off by police in a field.] What you are seeing is the wreckage of a privately-contracted aeroplane that crashed on Sunday night. Its passengers included IIWF superstars Tony Starks and "the Machine" Hunter Robertson, who had stayed an extra day in New York to participate in a fans' convention. In a tragic turn of events, the aeroplane crashed for as yet unknown reasons late on Sunday night, killing Hunter Robertson and severely injuring Tony Starks. [Cut back to the Control Centre.] This is one of the most tragic events I have had to report on, folks. Starks has suffered a broken back, and it is currently unknown whether he will even walk again, let alone wrestle. He regained consciousness on Monday afternoon in hospital, but was said to be extremely traumatised by his experience. As such, he has been released from his IIWF contract, and we all wish Mr. Starks the best recovery possible. He has been told that should he ever wish to return to the IIWF in any capacity, the door is wide open. Sadly, the crash took away the life of one of the IIWF's most promising new stars, Hunter Robertson. The successful owner and manager of a wrestling school, Robertson had made quite an impact here in the IIWF, participating in some memorable matches with "Frost" Scott Morrison. However, his future has been tragically taken away from him, and for the rest of us, we can only imagine what might have been. Similarly, it appears that the career of Tony Starks is over. This heartbreaking news is made all the more poignant that Starks never achieved the one dream that brought him back to the ring after the career-threatening knee injury he sustained some months ago, and that dream was to wear the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship around his waist. Speculation had been running wild in the past few weeks about the role of a certain Mr. Kobiashi in Tony Starks' life, and it is rumoured that he is wanted for questioning with regard to this tragic accident. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of both Tony Starks and Hunter Robertson. We'll be back in a few moments. [Fade] Welcome back, folks. I mentioned that Midsummer Madness was a night of firsts and lasts; well, we saw the debut of Crimson Storm, who is a highly impressive light heavyweight, but we also saw the last appearances, at least for the time being, of some of the IIWF's most popular superstars. As well as Tony Starks and Hunter Robertson, we are also bidding a fond farewell to "Legend" Brandon Bennett, who is returning to running his gym full time to concentrate on coaching, and also to the Alphabet Boys. I received the following memo with regard to the departure of Abie and Zed: --- MEMO FROM: IIWF Head Office TO: IIWF Control Centre/Tim Dross Following IIWF Midsummer Madness at Madison Square Garden, many of the wrestlers chose to leave the city by plane from New York's Kennedy Airport with the intent of returning to the IIWF Coliseum. When the plane was in the air it was discovered that the wrestling Tag Team known as The Alphabet Boys were not on the airplane, despite holding tickets for the flight. At this time, it is believed that they boarded a plane bound for Paraguay, and it must be assumed that they are there now. No other information is known at this time. --- Who knows when we'll see them again? On a happier note, although it was widely rumoured that "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare had left the IIWF, reports of his departure can now be quashed! Let's hear from the extravagant Mr. Shakespeare now: [Scene: It is black and silent] Voice: Cue one: Go! [The blackness is lacerated by laser beams, chemical smoke replaces the dark; A single spotlight appears on a very familiar figure.] Billy Shakespeare: Sound and fury signifying everything. New, improved, and always the same extrodinary show. It seems like Hero, in "Much ado.." my demise was mourned too early. Oh yes, I know that the Tim Dross hotline reported I had left, and indeed I had. I was tired, I was bitter, I thought about changing my name to "Blackout". But then I talked to my mentor, former women's champ Mistress Quickly. She made me remember what being 'Born to Perform' is all about. I thought about the sea of fans at Midsummer Madness, young and old, who put down their hard earned money for shirts with my face on it. They could have bought Outlaw belt-buckles, or "Painbringer" disposable bandages, but no, they wanted to be part of the greatest show in the world of wrestling today. Mistress Quickly also pointed out that I've got a lot of unfinished business in this fed, and leaving now would be like walking out after the first scene. As it is written in Coriolanus "Let me have war, say I; it exceeds peace as far as day does night; it's sprightly, waking, audible and full of vent." It's time again to experience some serious stagefright, compliments of, yours truly, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. [He makes his grand bow as the lights dim slowly. A shout of "Encore!" is heard before the camera fades.] Okay, let's move on to discuss what went down at Midsummer Madness: IIWF Midsummer Madness - 17 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The whole world's talking about what went down on Saturday night at Midsummer Madness. We saw just about every IIWF superstar really give it his all in six gruelling elimination tag matches, before the survivors went on to that fantastic final elimination match, in which the last man standing -- and we all know who that was -- was crowned the new IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. Let's run down the results of the evening: BRUTE FORCE vs. GROUND ZERO 1. "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER was pinned by MAGUS when the Guiding Lights held his legs. 2. NATE LAWSON was pinned by CRIMSON STORM after a flying sunset flip. 3. MAGUS submitted to CRIMSON STORM's Code Red Armbar. 4. GREG AUGUSTINE was pinned by TAYLOR after a Steamrollerplex. 5. TAYLOR was pinned by ROBSKI after a jacknife powerbomb. 6. BRASSOW submitted to ROBSKI's sleeper hold. 7. CRIMSON STORM was disqualified when BLACKJACK HALEY stormed the ring and attacked Robski. Survivor: Robski. Nobody knows why Haley wanted Storm eliminated from the match, but that's exactly what his attack was all about. He decimated Robski, and it later emerged that the English Sensation wasn't going to be fit to participate in the Survivors Match. THE PATRIOTS vs. BATTLE ZONE 1. DEFCON was pinned by ACE MAVERICK after a small package. 2. ACE MAVERICK was pinned by NAVCOM after a powerslam. 3. NAVCOM was disqualified following outside interference from his manager, Aaron the Caddy. 4. STEVE FORGET was pinned by ZED after a gutwrench suplex. 5. MARSHALL LAW was pinned by ZED after Abie whacked him with the Elvis lamp. 6. ZED was pinned by RON FIRE after an inverted piledriver. 7. RON FIRE was counted out while he brawled with ZED on the outside. Survivor: Abie of the Alphabet Boys. AMERICAN HEROES vs. DARK KNIGHTS 1. PHANTOM was pinned by DON ANTONIO after an inside cradle. 2. DON ANTONIO was pinned by BRAD KINDER after the "Dead Man's Honour". 3. VINNY CAPPICOLA was pinned by KINDER after a legdrop. 4. PRINCE OF DARKNESS was pinned by MAN OF STEEL after the Doomsday. 5. MAN OF STEEl was forced to submit to the SANDMAN's sleeper hold. 6. CASEY JAMES abandoned the match and was counted out. Survivors: Sandman, Brad "Bodybag" Kinder. This was a stunning turn of events, folks. Throughout the match, Casey refused to enter the ring, and he bickered with his teammates from beginning to end. Nobody knew what on earth was going on as Casey stormed out of the arena, abandoning the prone Man of Steel, but it soon transpired that the former American hero had turned his back on his fans, and sold out to Brian Lau. Yes, Casey was to become the fourth man on Lau's Syndicate team later on. And what a different Casey we saw. THE SENATE vs. THE POSSE 1. LARN was pinned by THE OUTLAW after a small package. 2. THE CRIPPLER was pinned by THE HANGMAN after the Scaffold. 3. PALE RIDER was disqualified due to outside interference from his partner, Easy Rider. 4. EASY RIDER was pinned by MR. DAMAGE after the Hangman interfered. 5. MR. DAMAGE was counted out. 6. STEROID was pinned by the OUTLAW after the Cattle Buster DDT. Survivor: The Outlaw. THE PERFORMERS vs. THE SHOWSTOPPERS 1. THE PUNSTER was pinned by FISTO FLASH after the Knucklebomb. 2. SCOTT MORRISON submitted to HUNTER ROBERTSON's Judo choke hold. 3. HUNTER ROBERTSON was pinned by FISTO FLASH. 4. TONY STARKS ran from the ring in pursuit of the shady Mr. Kobiashi, who had made yet another disruptive appearance. 5. SIMON LEBEC was disqualified when Francois nailed BILLY SHAKESPEARE with his award. 6. BILLY SEXTON was counted out after falling from the ring and knocking himself out on the steel ring barrier. 7. FISTO FLASH was pinned by BILLY SHAKESPEARE after a flying headscissors. Survivor: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. THE SYNDICATE vs. ALLIANCE OF EXCELLENCE 1. BRANDON BENNETT was pinned by CASEY JAMES after the Black Death spinebuster. 2. SUBWAY PSYCHO was pinned by CASEY JAMES after a failed sunset flip. 3. CASEY JAMES was pinned by DEATHBRINGER after the Burial. 4. HAKIRO MATSUOKO was pinned by DAN KAUFFMAN after he inadvertantly hit Tiger Claw's IC belt. 5. JOE LATTA was disqualified when Sasha threw powder in DEATHBRINGER's face. 6. TIGER CLAW was pinned by DAN KAUFFMAN after Deathbringer knocked the Thai boxer from the top rope. Survivors: Deathbringer, Dan Kauffman. Of course, the Subway Psycho progressed into the final match despite being pinned in this encounter, since he was seeded #1 after having the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship stripped from him several weeks ago. Brian Lau, however, demanded that Tiger Claw should also progress into the final match, claiming that Deathbringer had cheated, and that the officiating in the IIWF was laughable. IIWF President Dan Spreadbury caved in, and Claw was allowed to take Robski's place in the final Survivors Match. SURVIVORS MATCH 1. ABIE was counted out after leaving the ring to visit his partner Zed up in the stands. 2. THE SANDMAN was pinned by DEATHBRINGER after a Tombstone piledriver. 3. TIGER CLAW was pinned by DAN KAUFFMAN. 4. BILLY SHAKESPEARE was pinned by the OUTLAW after an attempted Curtain Call went awry due to Josey Wales. 5&6. DAN KAUFFMAN and BRAD KINDER were both counted out after brawling on the outside. 7. SUBWAY PSYCHO was pinned by the OUTLAW after Josey Wales nailed the people's champion with a steel chair. 8. THE OUTLAW was pinned by DEATHBRINGER after a Tombstone piledriver. Survivor: Deathbringer. Deathbringer not only beat off the combined forces of the opposition team, but also the Posse, who stormed the ring to aid the Outlaw. In a stunning display of resilience and drive, Deathbringer came back from the brink time and time again to put the Outlaw away, and he did it! However, as he was celebrating exhausted in the ring, he was attacked by Blackjack Haley, and it was only when the Psycho and Kauffman returned to their partner's aid that injury was avoided. But, folks, we have a new IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, and that man is Deathbringer! [SCENE: Deathbringer is standing in front of the crypt, the IIWF championship belt on his left shoulder, while he holds the scythe in his right hand.] DB: The night of Midsummer Madness is over and I once again saw how some mortals tried to cheat their fate. They tried to blind me, to batter me down, to outnumber me. But in the end they had to realize that _noone_ can cheat Death himself. Now that the Grim Reaper wears the IIWF championship crown, justice will come to rule this league. I took the gold for my Soldiers of Hell and I will defend it with honor until Fate decides that I have to surrender to a superior power. You, my Soldiers, and I know that this will not happen too soon. Let us see how long it takes until those mortals realize that they fight a force they cannot defeat. The evil breed within the ranks of the wrestlers will be wiped out once and for all. You could call this my mission. And I will start with you, Blackjack Haley. You did not have any business at ringside, and in my eyes you do not deserve a shot at the title. But I will give you a chance whatsoever. And I will teach you a long, painful lesson of obeying Death himself... I will make you wish you had never been born. Haley, prepare to meet your maker... [Fade] Newcomers ~~~~~~~~~ Due to the sad loss of some of the IIWF's top stars, the front office has reopened negotiations with wrestlers interested in joining the league. The first man to get his foot in the door -- or rather to put his foot straight through the door -- is Prisoner #109, an ex-convict apparently still on the run in three states, and wanted for murder and manslaughter. A former boxer, he's clear about his aim here in the IIWF: to hurt people. Let's get his comments: [SCENE: a dingy jail cell.] P109: Let me introduce myself. I am Prisoner #109. I went to prison at the age of 17 and spent six years behind bars for murder and manslaughter.. I became cold-blooded behind those bars. Then they took my child away from me. Now I am getting my child back and getting from behind bars. I have been waiting for this moment for six years. I have signed a deal with IIWF. I have found a new life in the IIWF. I don't like noone. Now I must destroy to forget my past. I must... Well, I already found an opponent: Scott Morrison. I challenge you to a match this Saturday. I am going to prove something in the ring.. I am and noone will stop me... Now Scott Morrisoon I am going to put you in my claw hold and stick my fingers down your throat... Having you screaming in pain to give up... So Scott you have been warned... I am going to take over.. You have been warned. [Scene fades as Prisoner #109 runs from the cell screaming, "I'm coming to the IIWF!"] And now let's take a look at his stats: PRISONER #109 Weight: 280lbs Height: 6'8" Origin: Department of Correction Appearance: Large black man. Wears orange convict's outfit with his number on the back. Theme Music: Theme from "Psycho" by Bernard Herrman Orientation: Heel Five Favorite Moves: 1. Sleeper 2. Chokeslam 3. Power bomb 4. Vader bomb 5. Tombstone from the top rope. Finisher: Mandible claw Primary attributes: 1. Strength 2. Brawling 3. Technical [Handler: Lance Fair (biggy@conxtion.com)] P109 wants to make a big impact on the IIWF, and he's going up against "Frost" Scott Morrison this Saturday night in his debut match. Will the ex-con be able to melt the ice man? However, P109 isn't the only newcomer to the league to report. Next up, we have a new tag team managed by Robo Stone, the mind behind the Iron Destroyer, Fisto Flash. His new boys are a couple of hugely powerful bodybuilders known as Heavy Metal. Let's hear from Robo Stone now: [SCENE: An obscure image shows two men facing away lifting weights.] Man #1: UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHGHGHHGUGHGUGHUGHGUHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man #2: AHAGAHAGAHGAHAHAAGAGAAGAHHAHAHHAAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Robo Stone comes from the shadows of the weight room.] Robo Stone: HA! HA! HA! As if ONE iron man wasn't enough. HA! HA! HA! [A TEAM THAT FEELS NO PAIN. A TEAM THAT HAS NO MERCY. A TEAM THAT'S MADE OF......STEEL. HEAVY METAL..........coming soon to the IIWF.] Let's take a look at their stats: HEAVY METAL Theme Music: "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nirvana Orientation: Heel Manager: Robo Stone Origin: Olympia, Washington Wrestler: Atlas Steele Apollo Steele Weight: 320lbs 340lbs Height: 6'7" 6'8" Five moves: 1. Sleeper 1. Punch 2. Suplex 2. Suplex 3. Boston crab 3. Bodyslam 4. Double axehandle 4. Elbow/knee attack 5. Bear hug 5. Clothesline Primary Attributes: 1. Strength 1. Strength 2. Technical 2. Brawling 3. Teamwork 3. Teamwork Profile: Loves to pose, loves to fight, has a mean streak Appearance: Identical twins; both wear Vader-type attire and have huge muscles Finishing Move: "Olympic slam" double power slam; both men hoist up victim on inside shoulders and perform a power slam simultaneously [Handler: Edwin Drantivy (dranman@ix.netcom.com)] With the Cruiserweight Championship recently announced, the IIWF front office has been inundated with new hopefuls who want to enter the tournament. Two new athletes have already been admitted. One is the renowned "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, who I am told is an acquaintance of one Dan Kauffman. Let's look at Quigley's stats: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Weight: 238 lbs. Height: 6'1" Origin: Corner Brook, NF, Canada Appearance: Quigley has black hair, short on back, kinda long on front, parted in the middle and usually wet looking. He has green/blue eyes. He wears black wrestling pants with silver/white graphical lightning all over them with "Quickstrike" on the backside, and he wears black straps crossed over his chest and back in an X. He has his "Quickstrike Symbol" (a skull with cross-lightning bolts below it) on his kneepads. He wears plain black elbow pads as well. To the ring he wears a black leather jacket made by his own Quickstrike Clothing Company with the "Quickstrike" symbol on the back and he wears silver wire rimmed shades. Theme Music: "For Those About to Rock" AC/DC Orientation: Face Five Favorite Moves: 1. Russian leg sweep 2. Backbreaker 3. Elbow from second rope 4. Enzuigiri 5. Fisherman suplex Finishing Move: 1. Lightning Bolt: A flying fist from the top rope to a standing opponent's head, which is converted into a cross body block as they both fall down. 2. Quickstriker: scorpion deathlock. 3. Superkick Primary attributes: 1. Technical 2. Endurance 3. Intelligence [Handler: Chris Quigley (cquigley@atcon.com)] Finally, another athlete from the Orient is on his way to the IIWF. The mysterious "Enigma" Takezo Musashi has these comments for us: [SCENE: The camera pans round a room full of mystical ornaments and strange equipment, a Japanese man with silver and blue stars painted around his eyes sits crosslegged on a mat in a prayer position, suddenly he leaps to his feet] "Enigma" Takezo Musashi: I, the Enigma, have come to your federation for one reason. The Gods have ordained my destiny as the ultimate fighting machine! I wrestle in the Way of the Water. Just as the river cannot be held in the hand, I will be impossible to catch in your inferior wrestling holds! I am the most advanced wrestler ever, the Gods have given me the divine inspiration to stun and neutralize the opposition on my way to becoming the most dominant World Champion ever! "Big Bucks" Don McQueen: Yours truly is so excited baby! I've managed to sign the most talented and exciting wrestler ever and bring him to this federation! Promoters are ringing my phone off the hook every day to get him for themselves! You inferior wrestlers should feel honored that the Enigma has decided to compete here. Ohhhh I'm so excited.... the Enigma is gonna earn me big bucks baby! [Fade] Let's take a look at the stats for this impressive newcomer: "The Enigma" Takezo Musashi ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Height: 5'9" Weight: 211 lbs Origin: Tokyo, Japan Manager: "Big Bucks" Don McQueen Appearance: Oriental. Wears face paint in the form of silver and blue stars around his eyes. Wears pants that are similar in style to the Great Muta but they are decorated with mystic Japanese symbols in silver, blue and black. Theme Music: The Enigma's theme music is a mystical, cosmic, oriental sounding thing! Orientation: Leans towards heel but since he is a bit of an "Enigma" it is never quite clear. Five favourite moves: 1. Reverse Savate Kick 2. Belly to Belly Superplex 3. Frankensteiner 4. DDT from top turnbuckle 5. Handspring into an Elbowsmash Finisher: Starsault Press - triple somersault into a moonsault Primary Attributes: 1. Aerial 2. Technical 3. Intelligence [Handler: Robert Davison (davison@tyco.net.au)] All in all, the ranks of the IIWF are swelling with some very impressive stars! Let's hope that none of these newcomers disappoint in the ring. Both Qiugley and Musashi are entered in the forthcoming Cruiserweight tournament. IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As announced at Midsummer Madness, the IIWF President has sanctioned a new championship here in the IIWF, and it is to be the Cruiserweight title. Open to all wrestlers under 240lbs in weight, the tournament will begin this coming Saturday night with the first two matches. Let's take a look at the bracketing: First Round Semi-final Final [ Dan Kauffman ]-. |-[ Winner ]-. [ Bob Hansen ]-' | |-[ Finalist ] [ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-. | |-[ Winner ]-' [ Simon Lebec ]-' [ Man Of Steel ]-. |-[ Winner ]-. [ Pale Rider ]-' | |-[ Finalist ] [ Tiger Claw ]-. | |-[ Winner ]-' [ Crimson Storm ]-' [ Chris Quigley ]-. |-[ Winner ]-. [ Takezo Musashi ]-' | | [ B. Shakespeare ]-. |-[ Finalist ] |-[ Winner ]-' [ ]-' As you can see, there are three brackets. The first round matches in the top bracket will go down on Saturday Night, then the first two matches in the second bracket will occur on Wednesday night next week, and the third bracket will kick off next Saturday Night. The three finalists This tournament promises to be an opportunity for the IIWF's top light heavyweights to show off their talents. I can't wait to see how this one works out! Trash Talk ~~~~~~~~~~ "Painbringer" Billy Sexton isn't impressed by the way Midsummer Madness turned out. Let's hear from him now: [Camera fades into Billy Sexton stomping around the IIWF interview area. He stops, looks straight into the camera, and speaks:] "OH YEAH! Midsummer Madness has come and gone. Right now I should be the Heavyweight Champion. But I am not, and you want to know why? I'll tell ya -- the Showstopers did not even match my abilities. They were a bunch of losers! Now on to bigger and better things. The time has come to take the gold. Either one or the other it doesn't matter to me, baby. 'Cause I will not rest until some gold is around my waist. Wrestlers of the IIWF, remember one thing: the "Painbringer" Billy Sexton is in town, baby...the time for requests is over. The time for war has just begun. OH YEAH!" [Fade] The Family are also a little upset about their performances at Midsummer Madness: [SCENE: Larry Morton standing next to the entire Family in their gym in Sicily, Italy] LM: First, let me say that it is a pleasure to see you here with us today Mr. Fiorello. Dr. Stevens said that you may have been out for a few more weeks at the hospital press conference but you look great today. SF: Thank you, Larry, it is a pleasure for me to be here with you today. Sometimes I like to think that I can beat the odds and this time I fortunately did. LM: Sal, What did you think of Midsummer Madness, both on account of your men's performance, and the overall outcome and tribulations of that great PPV spectacular? SF: To be honest with you Larry, I'm a little upset on both ends. First, the performance of both the DON and Vinny were lackluster at best. The last few weeks I have been very impressed with both of them but at Midsummer Madness it seems their train ran out of steam. They looked like a couple of chickens with their heads cut off out there against the Dark Knights. Adding that to the betrayal by Casey "Blackheart" James makes for one disappointing night. LM: DON, what is your reaction to the events that took place in MSG on Saturday? DA: Larry, I'm VERY upset at everything that occured here. The IIWF is moving in the wrong direction and I sincerely hope that President Dan opens his eyes soon or we'll have to do it for him. LM: I hope you're not insinuating that you may attack the President! DA: I did not say that, Mr. Morton. What I am saying is that the Family is sick of waiting for the front offices of the IIWF to take action against these rulebreakers and that we have decided to take the situation into our own hands. VC: Dat's right. We been gettin' pissed off for too long now. All these boneheads got two shots at the PPV like Tiger Claw and Casey "Backstab" James. Why did we only get one?! Brian Lau tinks he can control da IIWF and I guess he's right. Hey Prez, if I treatened you after I lost, would you've given me a shot in da final? I don't tink so. DA: Frankly, we are fed up! While rulebreakers like Claw and James are getting two shots at the title in one night, we only get one, and we uphold common and decent values and morals. Well, tonight I proclaim to the IIWF wrestlers, managers, and officials, The Family will not stand for it any longer. I proclaim that we are now the Enforcers of the league. When you break a rule, I'll be there, when you grab that metal chair, Vinny will be watching, when you flip off the fans, we'll flip you over! Watch out IIWF 'cause the Family is watching! LM: Those are pretty strong words Don, I'd like to see how the front office reacts to that. SF: I know how they'll react. They're gonna be mad as heck because President Dan isn't going to be getting paid off by Brian Lau anymore for bending the rules because we're going to be there watching. LM: Any thoughts on what the future holds for you gentlemen? VC: Da future's lookin real good for us big guy. You see pal, we're a family unlike all the rest of da backstabbers here. We're not like Casey James and da Sandbag, we know dat no matta what, tru thick and tin, we'll be there for each otha. I know dat I, Vinny Cappicola, will be movin and shakin in da near future. I invite anybody to take me on. Like my momma used to say, bless her soul, BRING IT! DA: Vinny, I couldn't have said it better myself. Lately I've been climbing through the rankings and I do not intend on stopping. I made a vow a few weeks ago that I would defeat every member of the Dark Knights and I will stick to my vow. Although Kinder has nothing I want anymore because he lost his belt so suddenly, I still intend on defeating him and then destroying the PoD... what's that, Pile of Dogdoo or something? Anyhows, Larry, the future for the Family is looking good as long as the IIWF straightens out its act. One more thing, MOS, we feel for you and if there is anything we can do for you just let us know. CIAO! [Fade] I don't like the suggestion that President Dan is on Brian Lau's payroll, and I'm sure that the IIWF President is going to have something to say about the Family as "Enforcers" here in the IIWF. The Armed Forces have joined the ranks of the dissenters. Isn't anybody pleased with how things turned out? [SCENE: Battle Zone's locker room, immediately after the end of the Survivors Match at IIWF Midsummer Madness in Madison Square Garden. DefCon and NavCom, the Armed Forces, are throwing chairs and beating the hell out of lockers. Aaron the Caddy is on the phone, screaming at who is apparently some IIWF official.] Aaron: My God!!! How could you have teamed us with those complete idiots?! I mean, you could've put us with anybody else, or just put us by ourselves. I would have wrestled if I knew it was going to be THAT bad! DefCon: That's was pathetic! We want to go out there and kick the crap out of our two biggest enemies, but we happen to get a little distracted, because we have to worry about you two COMPLETE MORONS!!! You cost us bigger than life!! NavCom: No kiddin'. Ya know something, Alphabet Punx. We didn't expect to win the title. We weren't even going after that belt. Nah, screw that. But, I guarantee you that if one of would've made it to the Survivors Match, we wouldn't have just walked off to visit with our partner and get counted out. We were gonna beat some face in. DefCon: All I wanted to do was fight and brawl with Fire, Forget, Maverick and Law. But, when your own teammates are punching you on the way down the aisle, it's a bit tough. You knew where we stood. We weren't going jump you guys from behind. We weren't gonna hit you guys with chairs, or leave you out to dry. But, we didn't have the peace of mind. We had to worry about you two fools slobbering on the ring apron. Aaron: Well, you listen to me! You got us into this mess, and you're going to get us out of it!! "How?" you ask? I'll tell you how. You're going to put my Armed Forces up against those stupid freaks in a tag match!! What??? They flew to _Paraguay_?! Those pussies! They knew we were after them, so they fled the league and screwed us over in their farewell match!!! NavCom: That's right. We are noble and honorable men. We've served our country. We want what's best for us. We'll side with anyone who will help us out, and we'll destroy anyone who tries to hold us down. Alphabet Boys, you held us down at the Madness, and we wanna run mad all over your 5 brain cells, but just like the United Nations, you're running for higher ground. Well, punks!!! You're running on borrowed time!! DefCon: I look around the tag rankings, and I see some pretty screwed up things! I mean, the Atomic Destroyers haven't even won HALF of their matches, and they're ahead of us, with an .800 winning percentage!!! We respect the Destroyers, and they're a good team. But, this is just the garbage politics we're talkin' about around this fed. NavCom: Stunt Team is the number one contender??? Hardly. Cleaned their clocks the other day. You listen to me!!! We're the number 1 contender!!! We've beaten Fire and Forget, we've run 2 teams out of the league. We've done it all!!! DefCon: Yeah, and why weren't we in the tag tournament, goin' for the tag straps? I mean, look at who you put in that...the Returners? Stunt Team, they're pathetic. Alphabet Boys, what use would they have for the belts? They'd break their teeth trying to eat them. The Atomic Destroyers and the Drifters were the only talent in there. We could have at least made the tournament interesting. Aaron: Well, my boys are getting a little restless here. We've been getting nothing but the shaft from day one, and the question is, what do we have to do to even get MENTIONED in the tag team ranks?! We deserve a title shot. NavCom: That's right!! Bungle Squad USA, Cole Slaw and Border, Final Tooth, Guiding Lights, ANYBODY!! Come and get it. We want to bash some heads in around here, and we want the gold!!! DefCon: Come on, Mr. President. We haven't stormed your office with injunctions. We haven't beaten up on reporters, or slapped a fan. We've tried to follow YOUR rules to get what we're after. Now, give us what we DESERVE, you punk. Drifters...you're a great team, and we have nothing against you guys. But, if president Danny or any other match maker has the guts to give us a title shot, we're coming at you with all we got. [Scene fades with Aaron the Caddy screaming into his telephone.] I know that President Dan hears the calls of the Armed Forces, and he's referred their name to the IIWF Championship Committee to see whether they are deemed worthy to wrestle the High Plains Drifters for the titles. We'll find out soon, hopefully in time for the next Report. If I was hoping for an end to the whining, I was surely forgetting that we have yet to hear from Brian Lau and his burgeoning Syndicate: [SCENE: The training area of the Dojo. Brian Lau and Kenny Tanaka stand at ringside. The four members of the Syndicate each take turns demonstrating holds and high impact maneuvers that they know. Casey just finishes executing the Spinebuster from the top rope that brought him victory over Brandon Bennett.] BL: That is a GREAT move... He calls it "Black Death." KT: Wow... Oh, I think we're on... Hello, folks... This is Kenny Tanaka coming to you from the Dojo after a grueling Midsummer Madness. A lot went on, namely the acquisition of one Casey James... BL: What a fine addition to the Syndicate. I was a little worried that whomever we found to be a fourth member would be a little disappointing, since he hadn't trained with us, but I am very impressed... [To the wrestlers] Guys... Come on down here and speak to the people at home... CJ: Why? They're a waste of my time... BL: Think of it as preaching your word... That's how I look at it and it gives me great pleasure... [The quartet leave a moaning jobber in the middle of the ring and jump down to stand with their manager.] BL: Here is a truly intimidating bunch. Wow... Look at them... Four men that have the means to haunt the IIWF. Everyone is shaking in their boots right now... We may have gotten robbed at Midsummer Madness, but only because we were cheated by those annoying punks who call themselves the Alliance of Excellence. We will right all the wrongs that happened this past Saturday, mark my words. It's almost like the Four H club... Let's hear from the head... HM: Nobody can deny my vast knowledge of techniqe. I made Kauffman look like an idiot in the ring on Saturday by showing that _I_ was the superior athlete. My time away from the IIWF has come to an end, and I have the honor of being part of the Syndicate. I'm looking to put my name in for the tournament to crown the new Cruiserweight champion, and I have no doubt that I will win. It's as simple as this: From start to finish I will put away the best lightweights the IIWF has to offer. At the end, I will stand victorious as champion. The goal of the Syndicate is to hold every belt this federation has to offer, and I will bring us one step closer to that goal. BL: And now, the Hands... The hard worker of the bunch... CJ: You know something, it really makes me laugh how all these idiots out in TV land can go from wanting my autograph to throwing trash at me. You know what the problem is? The American people have no spines. They sit and watch television and live vicariously through the men that are pegged as heroes. As soon as that person starts doing the right thing for himself, they look down on him. I was never feared as much as I am now. Brian gave me a few pointers before the match on Saturday and look what happened. I defeated two men in one night. I think that's more than I ever defeated in my career as a vomit-inspiring hero... I prefer winning. If that makes me a bad man, then so be it. I assume that Man Of Steel wants a piece of me... I assume that those spaghetti munchers, the Family want a piece of me... Get in line, boys. Blackheart is going to rain terror all over your withered bodies by giving you a taste of Black Death. BL: And now Joe, who is certainly the heart of our group. JL: You could say that, Brian, because I want action so bad I can taste it. Deathbringer, congratulations of winning the world title... That's a rather big pair of shoes to fill. There's going to be a lot of people gunning after you now, kid, and I'm going to be right there at the front of the line. We've had our little battles in the past, but now it's time to bring out the heavy artillery. I've watched you in action ever since you came into the IIWF... First it was Dan who tried and coach me on ways to beat you... We all saw how futile that was. Now it's these men that stand with me that are guiding my ways. We can all see how much better off I am. Now it's time for you and me to get into the ring one on one and fight it out until there's only one of us standing. I'm confident that I'm going to give you a fight that you'll never forget. At the end of that fight, you're going to be lying broken in the middle of the ring, and I'll be standing your carcass with the world title held proudly over my head. You're long overdue for a burial, spooky-man, and I'm just the badass to give it to you. BL: And last, but not least, the hope of the Syndicate, Tiger Claw... The first ever two-time Intercontinental champion of the IIWF. He was robbed of his right to have a fair shot at the title on Saturday by two men we've had run-ins with before, Outlaw and Brad Kinder. These two men were so afraid of the talents of Tiger Claw that they orchestrated his elimination from the final match. They didn't seem to realize that against the Deathbringer, they needed the help of my man. But stupidly, they got their most vicious team-mate eliminated. I can't say I ever gave Brad Kinder credit for having brains, but I expected more from the Outlaw. Outlaw, our history runs from the Coronation Clash when your cronies robbed Tiger Claw of the title for the first time. This is the second time. Believe me when I say that you will pay for repeating this mistake. Tiger Claw is the IC champion, and you don't treat a champion with such disrespect. You just put that impressive record of yours at risk because Tiger Claw is going to take the respect he deserves out of your hide. KT: Brian, now that Midsummer Madness is all over, what are you planning on doing? BL: I'm going to Disneyland... What do you think, Kenny? We're taking the week off to plan our next moves for the card on Saturday night. We each have our own goals. Casey plans on taking on whoever is stupid enough to stand in his way, and that includes any ex-team-mates that happen to come along. Joe wants that World title. Hakiro is bringing the Cruiserweight belt home, and Tiger Claw will continue to strike fear in the hearts of the IIWF. As for myself, well, I have some time to spend with Sasha, and afterwards I'm back to planning out how these goals will be achieved. KT: Well, Brian, it's really good to see the Syndicate at full strenght with the addition of the Blackheart. I only see success in your future... BL: Thanks, Kenny. KT: Well, folks, that's all we have for today. For the full strength Syndicate, this is Kenny Tanaka saying So long everybody! [Fade] If there's one man in the IIWF who was really badly affected by Casey's change of heart, it's the Man Of Steel, Casey's long-term friend and partner. Let's get his comments: [SCENE: The Man of Steel is sat in Bibbo's gym watching over and over again the shot of Casey James being announced as the fourth member of Brian Lau's Syndicate. After several more shots of it, Larry Morton enters and walks toward Steel.] Larry: Steel. Steel -- are you alright? MOS: In one word Larry, no! I'm not alright and at this point I don't know when I will be. Larry: I think I know what you're going through. When Brian Lau announced "Blackheart" as the new member the hearts of millions of fans around the world missed several beats. I was there and, I have to say, words could not describe what I felt. MOS: Casey. Casey! You turned your back on millions of fans and me. During our match I could have forgiven you for entertaining the fans when I was trying to make the tag. I thought then I knew what you were like deep down inside. Those fans respected you. They looked up to you. The Don made the point that he wanted people to have a role model that they could base their lives on. When they look at you now, what are they going to see? A man that turns his back on everything that is right. You want me to be blunt? You're a coward! You say that you hated the fact that the rule breakers ran rampant and that nobody would join our crusdade against them. Now what? Now you are one of them! Larry: It seems obvious that you feel betrayed by "Blackheart". And to be honest with you I don't blame you. He betrayed everything that he stood for and what you and The Family have worked so hard to get. But what now? MOS: What now? What now is a good question. In Deathbringer we can see a man that can defend the IIWF World Heavyweight Crown with honour. Tiger Claw holds the Intercontinental Title. I challenged Brad Kinder to a match for the IC belt and never got an answer. Now that the crown has moved on, I reiterate the challenge this time to you Tiger Claw. I challenge you to a non title match. Should I win this match, I want a shot at the gold. Larry: You still want the IC belt then. But what of the very near future? Any immediate plans? MOS: Right now? Right now? Right now I want to make the following announcement. Casey "Blackheart" James. You have made the single biggest mistake of your carear. This is going especially out to you. "Blackheart", I want you in the ring at the earliest possible time. But I don't want no ordinary match. That really wouldn't be fair on the fans. They want to see vengeance, and that is what I am going to give them! Larry: Vengeance sounds right, Steel, but in what way? MOS: James, the challenge is like this. I want a Street Fight Match at the next card. No rules and only a pinfall anywhere will end this match. But I would be stupid to step into a match like this without insurance. Brian Lau would just send out the rest of the Syndicate to give him a little hand. So, I want Vinny and Don at my side to ward off some unfriendly visitors. But that would still leave me with a three on two situation so I ask for a favour. Subway Psycho, the fans stand by your side and you stand by theirs. "Blackheart" and you seem to have a little unfinished business following Midsummer Madness. I want you here as the third person to protect aggainst unwanted visitors. That's it, Larry. I'm done here. [MOS gets up and walks away.] Larry: The Man of Steel here really in a bad way. "Blackheart" James has made possibly the worst mistake other than possibly linking up with Brian Lau in the first place. He has rattled the Man of Steel like I have never seen him rattled before. In the next few days I am sure we will hear from both The Family and the Psycho concerning the request from him. See ya folks... [Fade] Can the Man Of Steel overcome his anger to focus on the Cruiserweight Tournament in which he's been entered? I've not seen him so angry and upset since he entered the IIWF... Finally, let's hear from the Dark Knights, who seem rather pleased with themselves. [SCENE: The Knights' castle.] Sandman: The Madness has passed and the Family is finished! Ha ha ha ha....American what? Family who? Casey James, you did the right thing, it's good to see the DARK side shine. "Darkness is the only investment that never fails." Family, I've grown tired of you, we started it, we ended it and it's time to move on. I'll take this time to call out the Syndicate, Tiger Claw in particular. You may have dodged our wrath once but it's time to pay the price! Learn your limitations, you don't want to battle me. Phantom: Screw the Family! We buried those cockroaches! I see a bigger bug that I wanna squash. Syndicate, we're coming, I gotta big can of Raid with your name on it. [Fade] IIWF Saturday Night - 24 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We'll be back to our regular schedule of cards as of this Saturday Night, when myself and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts will be bringing you even more fantastic IIWF action. Let's run down the card as it currently stands: - IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT MATCH: = Dan Kauffman vs. "Illuminiti" Bob Hansen = "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec - Prisoner 109 vs. "Frost" Scott Morrison - IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: = Deathbringer vs. Blackjack Haley More matches will be added in time for my complete in-depth run-down in Friday's Report. Soon, we'll be -- hang on, the phone's ringing. [Dross activates the speakerphone.] TD: IIWF, Tim Dross speaking. DK: What, no witty lines? No singing? Just "IIWF, Tim Dross speaking"? That's got to get old in a hurry, Tim. TD: [Laughs] Ah, Mr. Kauffman I believe. Howdy, Dan, what are you calling me for on air? DK: Well, I heard you played a pretty good golf game, and you know, I'm always up for a challenge, so... TD: Golf? You know, Dan, Steve and Becky are going to make you regret saying that. Instant bait. DK: So? They're going to insult me at every opportunity. Big deal. Now I'm sure you have some questions to ask me... TD: Well, I can think of a few. First off, what about your match with your allies against the Syndicate? DK: You know, it's funny. I actually thought about Casey James beforehand and brought him up, and both Bringer and Psycho thought I was crazy. I didn't really think so either, but of course, I knew Lau would pull something out of his hat... it made ironic sense. TD: I don't think you had any idea, Dan. DK: Damn, he caught my bluff... TD: [Smiles] Okay, besides Casey James, what else is on your mind? DK: Hmmm. First, Joe Latta. He gave me one of the stiffest beatings I've felt in a long time... I'm very impressed with how far he's come. But see, I still have a little issue to settle with him, so Latta, one on one, you and me. No one else at ringside. What about it? If I know you, you'll accept. TD: A match with Joe Latta is certainly in the works from what I hear. DK: Next, Tiger Claw. Isn't it interesting how Claw and Lau said that the Alliance would defeat itself? Claw got himslef defeated TWICE by me... And neither time was as a result of my actions. Interesting. I guess sometimes it's better to be lucky... But Claw still has his Intercontinental Championship. Well Claw, guess who is the #1 contender for that belt? I am. And you know what, when we meet in the ring, you'll find out exactly WHY I am the #1 contender as well. TD: And I also hear that that is in the works. No doubt you've heard about the Cruiserweight Championship... DK: Sure have! I like this idea. This is a chance for a lot of overshadowed wrestlers like Man of Steel and Simon Lebec to prove themselves, and I'll gladly be a part of it just to test myself once more. Hell, the CC belt would make quite a good collectors' item, eh? TD: It would make more that that. What about Vinny Cappicola? You shoved him away after being counted out in the championship match... DK: Okay, even I get frustrated at times. Seriously, I don't feel real bad about that anymore... I wasn't getting in the ring after that "Dead Man's Honour" finisher anyway, so I give some credit to Kinder. Good job, pal. TD: And lastly, how about Deathbringer as the NEW World Champion? DK: Well, I always knew that somebody from our Alliance would win the gold trophy, and Deathbringer is DEFINITELY a capable man... He's proved that to me numerous times, needless to say. If anyone deserves to be the World Champion, it's him. TD: So we can rule out the possibility of you going after the World Championship? DK: Anything's Possible, Tim. TD: Fair enough. Well... DK: Gotta run, Tim. [Click!] TD: Well, that was awfully sudden! [Tim clicks off the phone.] Interesting comments there from Dan Kauffman. You've got to believe that his title match with Tiger Claw will be coming up in the very near future. Let's move on. Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ That just about wraps it up for today, folks. It's been quite a weekend here in the IIWF, and things look set to continue in the same dizzying manner. There's joy and heartbreak, but life goes on. And how! This Saturday Night, the opening round of the Cruiserweight Tournament gets underway, and newcomers galore will start pouring into the league in the next few weeks. Things are just starting to heat up around here! I'll be back on Friday with another packed report, with more news on all the latest happenings here in the IIWF, running down the card for Saturday, taking a look at the IIWF Champion in my Dross Report, and looking ahead to next week's Midweek Mayhem. Don't miss a moment of the action! I'll see you all again on Friday. Until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+