##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Update - 27 August 1996 ----------------------------------------------- Hello folks, and welcome once again to the IIWF Control Centre! I'm Tim Dross, and we have new IIWF World Tag Team Champions! On Saturday Night, in the IIWF Coliseum, before twenty thousand fans in attendance and a worldwide live television audience, the Armed Forces continued their impressive form by capturing the tag belts from Josey Wales' High Plains Drifters at the climax of a controversial match! We'll have lots more on that exciting development in today's report. On top of that, I'll be: - running down all the other results from Saturday's card - looking ahead to tomorrow night's Midweek Mayhem - announcing the arrival of more newcomers to the IIWF - taking a look at the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship tournament brackets - getting an update on the condition of Robski - hearing more from the most controversial figure in the IIWF right now, the Outlaw J.W. Hardin - meeting with the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deathbringer, for a special interview ... and much more! So let's get straight to it! IIWF Saturday Night - 24 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A whole lot more went down in the IIWF Coliseum on Saturday Night than the crowning of new tag team champions. Let's run down the complete results now: 1. HEAVY METAL defeated the ROTUNDOS in their IIWF debut. Robo Stone's new team displayed their impressive power and put their overweight opponents away with the Olympic Slam. Let's hear from them now: [SCENE: Robo Stone stands in front of Heavy Metal in the IIWF interview area.] RS: So it's been said. When god created the heavens, he created STRONG men, and WEAK men. AND THEN HE CREATED THE GODS. Now, my boys aren't GODS. But they ARE GODLY. Atlas: We came out and we did our thing. But now it's time to fight some TOUGHER teams. If ANY team thinks that they're man enough to come meet HEAVY METAL in the center a' the ring, then come and get it!!! Apollo: The Rotundos meant NOTHIN' to us!!! We're here in the IIWF to be champs, and nothin' else. That goes out to you, Armed Forces!!! You wanna be known as champs? Just TRY and beat us!!! RS: Prepare to taste...........HEAVY METAL!!!!! [Fade] 2. VINNY CAPPICOLA and the PRINCE OF DARKNESS battled to a time limit draw in a fiercely contested matchup. 3. "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI had a successful debut as he defeated MAJESTIC MAURICE McARTHUR, showing off his amazing Starsault Press finisher. Don't miss the "Enigma" in live action tomorrow night on Midweek Mayhem -- this guy's one to watch here in the IIWF. 4. Another debutant, the renowned "QUICKSTRIKE" CHRIS QUIGLEY, defeated the MASKED MARAUDER in his first IIWF appearance. He was victorious after applying the Quickstriker scorpion deathlock, forcing the Marauder to submit. We'll be hearing from Quigley tomorrow night, live on Midweek Mayhem. 5. THE HANGMAN, minus the Senator, battled to a double disqualification with FISTO FLASH. With all the rumours still flying about a possible rift between the Senator and his men, this match did nothing to settle the speculation. Nonetheless, both men put on a brutal display, and the referee ended the match when both attempted to strike each other with weapons. We'll get Fisto's comments tomorrow night as I interview him live on Mayhem. However, the Hangman is clearly not happy with the speculation; let's hear from him now: [SCENE: Close up on The Hangman's face.] TH: Mr. Dross, do you have a death wish? I suggest you listen to your broadcast buddy, Roberts. Why in the world would you want to piss off the person that took out the man that put you in the hospital?! Has your memory really gotten that bad, or are you insane? The business of The Hangman and The Senate is noone else's but their own. Rumours can be started by all, but Hanging someone can be only achieved by one -- ME. Dross, unless you and any of the other announcers stop telling stories with no substance, the IIWF will be needing some new employees. Sir, do I make myself clear? [Camera pulls out and away from The Hangmans face and we see The Senator standing next to him and Steriod] The Senator: Dross, just so you can get it right, I will be at the next card and unless you want to taste either The Noose, or maybe get a burning feeling that even Preparation H cannot cure, I suggest you find us and apologize. Unlike good wrestlers, announcers are a dime a dozen. Steriod: Senator, I guess Dross maybe just forgot that this is a time of year that politicians have a few other things on their minds. Maybe Dross should watch a little more television, and he would have seen you making your speech in San Diego. If he had, he would have seen you talk of many important topics, the most important being the state of the IIWF and its superstars. TS: Sometimes blithering idiots only try to think of things to cause problems or to prove how stupid they are. Dross, remember -- GET IT RIGHT! [Fade] 6. MR. DAMAGE pinned MAGUS with his Thunderstruck top-rope legdrop. 7. DON ANTONIO forced BRAD "BODYBAG" KINDER to submit to the Sicilian Death Grip. Outside the ring there was chaos as the Family and the Dark Knights went at it -- even manager Salvatore Fiorello got in on the bone-bending action. After the match, the two sides continued to battle in the parking lot, but it seems that the disagreement has finally been settled. The Knights are targeting the Syndicate, and the Family have set themselves up as the "Enforcers" of the IIWF. However, events later in the evening would take an interesting turn for the Knights and the Syndicate... 8. In Cruiserweight Tournament action, DAN KAUFFMAN bested "ILLUMINITI" BOB HANSEN. Kauffman was more ferocious than he's ever been inside the ring, even risking disqualification on his way to victory. It seems Kauffman was sending out a message to everybody in the IIWF... let's hear from him now: [SCENE: In the prairies of southern South Dakota, Dan Kauffman stands, wearing a straw hat and digging a hole in the ground for where he plans on inserting the rod for the new American Flag being erected on his Grandfather's field. The sun blazes 95 degrees, and sweat is seen trickling down Dan's face and arms, but he wipes it away and speaks...] "The Outlaw... I'm sorry, J.W. Hardin... You have stated that this is your land. That where the rolling plains and rugged contryside exists, that's controled by you. I'm not going to argue that point. You also claim to be the meanest hombre in the world. That point is debatable, but I'll certainly concede that you have your mean streak. See, I didn't have to see the beating Ned Norton took to realise that fact. Don't you remember, Outlaw? The three Cattle Buster DDT's that you delivered on my head at Coronation Clash? I haven't forgotten... forgiven and moved on, that I had done. But not anymore. "You see Hardin, I've seen many men like yourself that have had your physique, your skill, your ruthlessness and your beliefs. But there's a line in wrestling... you can NOT take anything over completely. It is a common rule no matter where you go. It doesn't matter how bad an ass you are, it simply will not happen. And while I have no complaint with what you have done and will do, I feel certain that you underestimate the strength of the many in the IIWF who do have complaints. "Consider this a reminder of what this business really is. You have done some ruthless things, but none of it will ever accomplish your ultimate goal, because your ultimate goal is unreachable. [Kauffman plants the rod of the flag in the ground, securing it in the earth, then turns back around.] "On to more pressing issues. First off, the Cruiserweight Championship. Hansen, again, you put up one hell of a fight, even more of one then I had anticipated... Perhaps I was a little overconfident. All the same, no personal vengence against you. But now I get to face one Hakiro Matsuoko. And if Latta, if Claw, if James wants to come down and watch, bring 'em down, pal! Matsuoko, you're in store for the same stuff I dished out to Hanson... except I may decide to go a step further. I really don't care what I do anymore, because it seems nobody else does. So why hold back? Hakiro, you ran into the wrong man at the wrong time. End of story. "Oh, and as far as Joe Latta goes, where are you, pal? I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks... I'm getting a trite bored! Perhaps he doesn't like the new me... that's okay, Joe, you know how much I hated the new you back in June, right? I sympathise... but that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. Latta, your dark day is coming, and as far as I'm concerned, it's going to be a lot sooner than most people think! [Kauffman takes off the straw hat and wipes the sweat off his forehead, then resumes one last time] "Last... but certainly not least... Tim Dross stated on his Dross Report about possible tension between Deathbringer and myself. True, we haven't talked since Midsummer Madness, but he's been pretty busy. Likewise have I. So I think I need to make two things clear here. Numero Uno... If Deathbringer needs help or assistance against the Outlaw, Haley, etcetera, I'm 100% behind him at those points. BUT... I've said this six months ago in the CFWF, and I'll stick to it... the number one goal in any wrestling organization is to be the very best. It's no different anywhere else. Deathbringer, once all the feuds with Outlaw are settled, once the Syndicate is left in the dust... THEN... And ONLY then... if you still have the world championship... Then I say to you that we square off one... last... time. "There, I've said my two cents. Move on, and I'll see you tommorow..." [Fade out as Kauffman finishes his work] 9. In another tournament match, HAKIRO MATSUOKO advanced over SIMON LEBEC in a very hard-fought and exciting match that was only just settled within the fifteen minute time limit. In the end, it was an attempted back suplex from Lebec, converted by Hakiro, that got the former IC champ his passage into the second round to face Kauffman. 10. Prisoner #109 made a successful debut to the IIWF as he battered "Frost" Scott Morrison, eventually forcing him to submit to the vicious Mandible Claw. It had widely been rumoured in past weeks that Morrison was not happy with his tenure in the IIWF, and after sustaining undisclosed injuries on Saturday Night, he announced that after his convalescence is over, he will not be returning to the rings. 11. The ARMED FORCES became the new IIWF World Tag Team Champions when they scored a controversial pinfall victory over the HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS. Pale and Easy appeared to have the Forces beaten, and were setting up NavCom for the Hang 'em High Clothesline, but due to the interference of Aaron the Caddy, Easy Rider was pinned in the middle of the ring, and the titles changed hands. Let's hear from the new Champions: [Scene opens in the locker room. The Armed Forces, NavCom and DefCon have just won the IIWF World Tag Team Titles. As they are on their way down the aisle, a camera crew from WOWT Omaha is awaiting their arrival and watching their glorious stroll to the locker room on the 13" TV. As the camera crew cheers and celebrates, the Armed Forces, and their manager, Aaron the Caddy, come through the door. HUGE POP from the staff at WOWT. WOWT interviewer Tom Waite meets the men at the door with a huge handshake.] Waite: OK, Aaron, Forces, let me just be the first to congratulate you guys. Aaron: Thank you, Tom. You don't know what that means to us. DefCon: Hey, man. We're down with this stuff now. We got the titles, we beat the Drifters, Stunt Team, Law and Disorder, etc., etc., etc. Waite: Alright, well in a minute here, the WOWT News at 9 Television program is going to patch into that camera over there [points to camera], and go live with me interviewing you three. The whole city of Omaha will be watching this big interview. NavCom: OK, man. That sounds good. Just hope that the shine off of these belts doesn't blind the cameraman. [Everyone is the room starts laughing.] Aaron: That will be great. My men can show their hometown what they've accomplished, as well as say a few words to some of the contenders out there. Waite: These guys say only a few words? I doubt that. [Back at WOWT Omaha Studios, Newscaster Melissa Wilson is talking about the Nebraska Football team's impenetrable defense (who isn't?). She gets a piece of paper delivered to her.] Wilson: [excitedly] And now I understand that we have an exclusive interview with the Armed Forces, who had their big IIWF World Tag Team Title Shot earlier tonight. The match has just ended, and let's take you to Tom Waite. Tom... Waite: Thanks, Melissa. It was a big night indeed here when these two men behind me, NavCom and DefCon, defeated the former champs, the High Plains Drifters, to win the IIWF World Tag Team Championship. Also with me is the manager of these 2 newly crowned champions, Aaron the Caddy. NavCom, I'll start with you. Usually on this team, DefCon is the one scoring the pinfalls, after you wear the opponent down and gain the advantage. How did it feel to get one yourself, and in fact, win the World Tag Team Titles for you, and these two? NavCom: Well, you know somethin', Tom? I'm the captain of this team. I keep us together, I call the shots. I stay in there and make the sacrifices, so that the big man here can wreak havoc. [DefCon nods and pounds his right fist against his open left palm.] NavCom: I'm the workhorse. That's my job. I can take a pounding, and keep kicking out. I mean, that chump put that piledriver on me, and I still had the energy and the presence of mind to win the match. I just do these things forever, until the opponent makes a mistake in frustration. And when the opponent makes that mistake, ha ha, they get bitten by me. That's when the tag usually goes to DefCon. But, this time, DefCon was on the floor hurting. I don't know what they did to you, Def. What, hit you with the belt or something? DefCon: Wales gouged me in the eye with an ink pen. NavCom: Figures. Well, anyway, I knew that DefCon wasn't able to get in there, so I just had to use my offense. In this case, a beautifully executed Victory Roll for the pin.. [WOWT Studios big screen shows footage of the Victory Roll, and the ref counting the 1-2-3.] As for how it felt, hey man, how many guys wouldn't like to score the IIWF World Tag Team Titles? Waite: A very excellent point. Well, one man who played an instrumental part early in the match was DefCon here. He had Easy in big trouble early, and it was only a pull of the hair into a bulldog that got him out of that predicament. DefCon, describe that first part of the match and what was happening for our viewers at home. DefCon: Well, ya know, early on the Drifters came in to the ring jawing with us. We kinda took exception to the way they strutted around the ring holdin' those belts up right in our faces, like they were better than us or somethin', so we decided to get ahead early. We attack them, and knock them to the floor. After that, I began to work over Pale. Then, I made a mistake, and he got a boot in my mug. He would've done anything to get out of the ring with me. Waite: I would too. [laugh from the background]. Ok, Aaron. You took a couple of good shots in this match. Wales hit you early on, and then later, Easy hit with a cheap closed fist. What do you think about that? Aaron: Josey. We used to be friends. But you changed somewhere along the line. Well, Josey, you punk, if you've not learned enough as a manager to keep focused on the match at hand, then you've not learned a thing at all. And, Easy. Ha ha ha. You were so worried about old Aaron on the outside that you couldn't keep your mind on the match. You can hit me all you want. And, pal, I did my job. I kept you distracted, took you out of your game plan, and in the end, you got pinned. So when you hit me, you may have won that battle, but I won the war. NavCom: That's right, baby! Aaron is here for one thing and one thing only! To help us win matches. And he's the type of guy who makes the SACRIFICE to do his job. If he has to take a shot or two, he's man enough to do it. That's the fire within Aaron the Caddy, and we're the luckiest two men alive to have him managing us. Waite: As you two came down the aisle, Tim Dross called you "self-serving, egocentric pigs", and wondered how you could become like that after serving your country so well. Men, do you have anything to say to that? DefCon: When we were serving our country, we did the best job we could. We saved Kuwait over there from Psycho Saddam, we kept the peace after the tragedy in Oklahoma City. But, when we decided to leave the military, it wasn't on unfriendly terms. One day, a 3 star general came up to me and said that Nav and I could really go places. Could really make it big in wrestling. So, we were sent, all expenses paid to the IIWF, by the United States Department of Defense. We went there with orders. To bring back the World Tag Team Championship Belts. And we followed orders to perfection. Sir, I hope you're happy with us. NavCom: We haven't stopped serving our country! With every win, we bring more and more pride and glory to the United States Military! We are here to represent the US Armed Forces, and we're doing, [holds the belt up to the camera] as you can see, one hell of a job. Aaron: I don't know about any service in the military. All I know, is that I got a phone call one day, from some general, tellin' me that they've got a hot new talent that they want me to take to the top. I said "hey, no problem." So, I got these guys, took 'em to the Civic, and worked them into great wrestlers. A short time later, we've got the most coveted prize in Tag Team Wrestling today. DefCon: That's right! When the referee's hand came down with the final count, not only did we win the belts, but the Army, the Navy, the Marine Corps and the Air Force, the Coast Guard, the National Guard, the right guard for the New England PATRIOTS, [Tons of laughter from Aaron, NavCom, and the background.] ...won. They stick behind us one hundred percent, and we just brought a little piece home. Aaron: We don't run in there and wave the American flag. Real men go in there and get things done, rather than show off some symbol. And tonight, baby, the Drifters showed off a symbol, and the real men got the job done. Period. NavCom: You call us self-serving? How dare you! From the Halls of Montezuma to the Shores of Tripoli, we'll beat you there or anywhere between, military style!!! And tonight, we saw that the cowboys with their six shooters never out war killing machines with AK-47s. Waite: Gentlemen, we're running out of time, some parting thoughts. DefCon: We said we would make a huge impact right away. We did it. The United Nations, booted. They wanted peace anyway. Pansies. We told you we'd beat Stunt Team to get on the map, we did it. We told you we were out to chase the Alphabet Boys out of the fed. We did it. We told you we'd beat Law and Disorder, we did it. And then, tonight, ha ha, we told you we'd win the World Tag Team Titles. And, guess what? WE DID IT. Every team we've ever faced, we've beaten. Don't doubt us. When we say we're going to do something, we do it. Now let me tell you something else. I'm telling you that we're going to retain these belts. And you know what? WE'LL DO IT. NavCom: Tonight we saw something happen. We saw mind over matter. We saw the best tag team in the world win the titles. We saw Aaron the Caddy do his job. We saw DefCon do his job, and we saw me score the pinfall. Easy, don't think it won't happen again, because it will. We're the most honorable men in wrestling, a good complement to the fact that we're the best men in wrestling. Waite: Earlier tonight, Tim Dross wondered where all the respect for the Drifters went. Aaron: It's simple. Dross obviously doesn't know how mind games work. The respect ploy. Ha ha ha. That's how you get what you want out of people. Compliment them. We only respected the Drifters to get a title shot. Once they signed on the dotted line, we didn't have to say that anymore. We outsmarted you, Wales. Big surprise. I baited you punks into the match, and then once the match started, I baited you into chokin' the belts away. To us. Plain and simple. In the world of mind games, you're trying to beat a full house with a ten high. Doesn't work, does it? [Aaron instructs his men to show the belts to the camera once more. He gives an evil laugh.] Waite: Well, congratulations again guys. There you have it, the pride of Omaha and the US military, the Armed Forces, your new IIWF World Tag Team Champions. That about wraps it up for us here. Now, let's go back to the studio, and you, Melissa Wilson... [The screen goes back to Melissa Wilson in the studio.] Wilson: Thanks, Tom. Well, for Jim Rose here in the studio, and Tom Waite out in the IIWF Coliseum, I'm Melissa Wilson for WOWT News at Nine. And, as we say goodnight, a final look and dedication to the Armed Forces, the new Tag Champs. [As the screen goes to highlights of the match, "We Are the Champions" by Queen starts up. The screen shows footage of all of the Armed Forces greatest moments. The attack on the United Nations, the huge upset over Stunt Team, the shalacking of the Guiding Lights, the revenge over Law and Disorder, and finally, as the prelude ends, the famous 3 count as NavCom pins Easy Rider's shoulders to the mat. As the song ends, the frame freezes on NavCom, DefCon and Aaron the Caddy leaving ringside with the belts on their shoulders. Fade] The Forces are euphoric at the moment, but you can bet that the Drifters won't waste the rematch which has already been signed for this coming Saturday Night: [Scene: A windy, stormy night on a long stretch of highway cutting through the desert. Two figures appear on the horizon and walk closer into view.] Pale Rider: Do you see this road we stand upon? It is symbolic of our careers in pro-wrestling. Its a long, hard, unyielding road. Only the strong survive a journey on the path that we have chosen. Easy Rider: We've chosen our path and we've paved it with the blood, sweat, and tears of everyone that we have ever faced! We trod upon the carcasses of our opponents like a big-rig might travel along this stretch of highway. PR: But now there are some new travellers on our path. Armed Forces, in case you haven't noticed there are no pit stops! There are no exits! There are no rest areas! ER: There are only tolls to be paid, and we're collecting! PR: Get your sorry hides back in the ring! [The Drifters turn and walk back down the road, into the storm. Fade] 12. The OUTLAW J.W. HARDIN and "NIFTY" NED NORTON never actually had a match, but we were privy to one of the most heinous attacks we've seen here in the IIWF, followed by one of the most incredible events of recent times. First, Hardin attacked Norton from behind and blasted him in the aisle with some horrific offence. This in itself was no surprise, given Hardin's current frame of mind, but when Dan Kauffman came to Norton's rescue, things took a bizarre turn. Chris Quigley also charged down the aisle to assist Norton, and was swiftly followed by Brad Kinder, of the Dark Knights. Joe Latta, of the Syndicate, was next to appear, and he worked _with_ Kinder, who is a sworn enemy, to attack Quigley and Kauffman. Vinny Cappicola, of the Family, appeared, as did Stunt Team USA, but when Hakiro Matsuoko, of the Syndicate, came down the aisle, it was clear that all the warring factions detested so much by the fans of the IIWF were working together behind the Outlaw! Quite unbelievable. When Blackjack Haley also lumbered onto the scene, things looked black, but when the arena was plunged into darkness, and IIWF Champion Deathbringer appeared, the situation was defused. However, Deathbringer and the Outlaw then engaged in an intense staredown, and it was not until Haley, Deathbringer's opponent later that night, lost his cool that the stare was broken. In the end, Hardin and Haley backed down, but the damage to Norton had been done. He will probably never wrestle again. And will the lines between friend and foe ever be the same again after the stables of the IIWF came together on Saturday Night? The Outlaw doesn't think so: [SCENE: Backstage in a locker room following IIWF Saturday Night. With no other member of the broadcasting team wanting the assignment, IIWF ring announcer Sparkplug Lee was sent to get Outlaw J.W. Hardin's comments. Members of the Syndicate, the Dark Knights, and the Posse mill about as Sparkplug approaches Hardin, who wears black jeans and a black leather vest. His hair, still damp from perspiration, hangs down over his face but his emotionless dark eyes stare at the camera.] SL: Are we on? Are we . . . are we on? Okay. Uhhh . . . Outlaw . . . or should I call you J.W. . . . can you, uhhh . . . . JWH: Shut up and listen, little man! I asked for a match tonight but I was given a sacrificial lamb. Ned Norton, you can thank the IIWF front office for the end of your career. The IIWF president wants to fine me? No problem. [He reaches into a pocket, peels off several $100 bills and tosses them at the camera.] When will you fools learn that this is not about money? This is not about belts. This is not about wins and losses. SL: Uhhh . . . what's it about? JWH: [Grabs Lee by his lapels and pulls him close to his face.] This is about life and death and the creatures that inhabit your worst nightmares, little man! [He grabs the microphone and throws Lee off camera. A clattering is heard as the announcer slams into a locker. The wrestlers behind him laugh. Hardin's voice rises.] Tonight, this was about a new day in the IIWF. Brad Kinder, Joe Latta, Hakiro Matsuoko, Blackjack Haley, and my own brothers, the High Plains Drifters, all fighting for a common cause! And as Ned Norton, the sacrificial lamb, felt his own life force draining on the Coliseum floor, the message went out. And yes, it was answered. [His voice drops to almost a whisper.] Who answered the call? Ah yes, the IIWF World Champion. The bringer of death. The agent of the spirits. Deathbringer, as we looked into each others' eyes, we knew this had come too far to turn back. The balance has shifted and the darkness is even now enveloping the IIWF. Blackjack Haley has come farther than even I expected and no mortal man can match him physically. Therein lies the key. You defeated Haley because he does not understand you, but I have found someone who does. Look around you, Deathbringer . . . who can you trust? Who is betraying you? I am learning your own darkness, Deathbringer. [His voice raises] You are now the pursued. You are now the hunted. You are now . . . the outlaw. Can you feel the fear in the souls you have collected? Can you feel the trepidation in whatever remains of your own soul? Only two types of men will challenge the birthright of the Outlaw J.W. Hardin . . . the foolish and the dead. I believe you are both. [His voice drops again to a whisper as he moves closer and speaks directly to the camera] You are merely the bringer of death. I am the taker of life. We will meet when the time is right! [He shoves the camera man back into a wall and the shot goes black.] Wow... these sentiments are more or less echoed by the vociferous manager of the Syndicate, Brian Lau: [SCENE: Brian Lau's office. The whole Syndicate is there. Casey's face is covered in bruises and he has a bandage over his broken nose.] KT: Hello, folks. I'm coming to you from the office of Brian Lau. There's been a lot of interesting devlopments over the past week in the IIWF, folks, and I'm here to get comments from the one and only Brian Lau. BL: Thanks, Kenny. The thing that most people are talking about is the new attitude of the Outlaw. I heard what he said, and I've considered it. I've come to the only conclusion possible. The man that is the enemy of my enemy must be my friend. I agree to join forces with whoever the Outlaw decides to ally himself with, even if that means opening my arms to the Dark Knights. Knights, we all know that Deathbringer must be defeated for that title. He is an impressive force to be reckoned with, and we can only beat him together and not fighting each other like rats over a scrap of food. There is much that can be accomplished in the IIWF if we just ally ourselves and work together. Kinghts, our time in the arena will come, but not today. First, we all have to band together and destroy that which offends us. KT: Well said, Brian. Now Casey, I was wondering on your thoughts about your victory in the street fight on Saturday... CJ: Yes, Kenny... It was a tainted victory... Man Of Steel, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry. So sorry... Sorry I didn't crack your skull wide open and dance all over the little pieces! You put up a good fight, kid, but I was the one with his arm raised at the end of the night. I would have put you out of action forever if it hadn't of been for that bastard in the car. Who was that, MOS, your mommy? Is she a superhero too? Listen, everyone knew I carried the team when we were the American Heroes, so you might as well give up right now. The way things are developing in the IIWF, you're not going to be in top shape for too long. Bow out like a man... You're outclassed here. Look at the tournament you're in. Even if you do win, you're most likely facing Tiger Claw in the second round. Do you honestly think you can beat the IC champ? I doubt it. If I have anything to do with it, you'll never be able to beat anyone again. KT: Speaking of the Cruiserweight tournament, how do you rate your performance, Hakiro? HM: I'm a little disappointed that it took me so long to defeat Simon Lebec. He is a good competitor, but not good enough to take me to the limit like he did. In the next round I face Dan Kauffman. I'm going to have to work on my skills before I meet him in the ring. Dan is no stranger to the men you see in this room. We've had dealings with him time and time again. Dan is one of the men on our list to eliminate from the ranks of the IIWF, and I'll do my best to do that. I will be victorious in our battle, Kauffman, but don't think that's the end of it. You are still in our sight, Dan, and that's not a very good place to be. KT: Brian, what about Tiger Claw's involvment in the tournament? BL: Well, he is within the weight restrictions, so why not? Sure, he may already be the intercontinental champion, but why not go for another? The IC belt won't be on the line in the tournament matches, so what the hell. Tiger Claw is a born champion. Every ex champ in the IIWF has called their respective title a burden after they lost it, but when Tiger Claw lost the IC champ, all that was on his mind was getting it back. That's why he's the only one in the IIWF to ever hold a championship belt twice. Because he has the drive to hold the gold. KT: Joe? You've been quiet today... JL: Just running through my head which of Deathbringer's bones I'm going to break first. Did you hear what he said in Friday's report? That I should focus on the problem of the Dark Knights and not on him. Deathbringer, I'm sure you figured out where the Dark Knights stand in my mind as Kinder and I stomped all over your carcass. The Outlaw is helping to unite the factions of the IIWF that should have been united long ago. Together, we'll make sure you get beat. One member of the Syndicate, Posse, Senate, or Dark Knights will hold that belt soon. BL: Preferably, a member of the Syndicate will hold that belt... [Everyone in the room laughs. Casey holds his ribs.] BL: A new day in the IIWF... Get ready, folks... It's going to be a rough ride. [Fade] 13. The MAN OF STEEL was narrowly defeated by CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES in a brutal Street Fight match, which took place in an alley outside the Coliseum. The Syndicate attempted to attack Steel, but the Family were on hand to keep them at bay. Steel and Casey went at it with anything and everything they could get their hands on, but ultimately, Casey came out on top as he dodged out of the way of an aerial attack and pinned Steel. He continued to beat on his former friend, until a mysterious stranger in a car pulled up and rescued Steel. Let's see if Steel can clear up the mystery -- we sent Larry Morton to get his comments: [SCENE: Bibbo's Gym. Man of Steel is training hard and the sweat is literally dripping off him. Larry Morton enters with his crew. Seeing them enter, Steel stops his work and grabs a towel.] MOS: Hi, Larry. LM: Oh, hi Steel. Um.... MOS: What's up? LM: I just didn't expect you to be in such high spirits after your match against "Blackheart" on Saturday. Kinda expected you to be tearing the place down, if you know what I mean. MOS: Casey "Blackheart" James may have won the match, but he proved to everyone that he has given up all sense of decency. I expected some underhand tactics to be used in the match and it was unfortunate that the Family were unable to contain it. I do however send out my thanks to them for what they did in the match. But I lost. That's all there is to say. I lost the battle, but like they say, I'm gonna win the war! LM: I really am glad to hear that. But the question that is on everybody's minds right now is: who was the man in the car that came to your aid? Was it the Subway Psycho? MOS: Well, Larry. The answer to that question may be closer to you right now than you imagine. LM: Sorry, Steel. You've lost me completely. MOS: Well, you have been here many times recently and you still didn't recognise the man that came to help on Saturday Night? Shall we get him out here right now so he can speak with you? LM: That'd be great, but who is he? [MOS steps out of the room and is gone for a short time. He reappears followed by a tall man, incredibly well built. Standing about 6 and a half feet tall and weighing in about 300 pounds, he wears jeans and a t-shirt with a large S symbolised on the front. Stubble covers him face.] MOS: Larry, meet Bibbi Bibowski. Bibbo -- Larry Morton from the IIWF. LM: Hello. BB: Hello, Larry. Steel says ya wanna talk wit' me. What d' ya want? LM: Umhh.... Well..... MOS: Let me help you out here, Larry. Basically you want to know all about my good friend Bibbo here. LM: That's right. BB: Well ya see, Steel here came an' asked Bibbo if he would help him with that no gooder "Blackheart" somethin'. And I was there to make sure nothin happened to me good mate. He's me favourite ya see. LM: Right. But what are your plans? BB: Steel needs somebody to watch 'is back. Bibbo will be dere for 'im. When me favourite steps into da ring I will be dere to make sure that nothin' surprises him from the back. If any of dose no gooders from dat Syndicate try and help da big mans oppo' Bibbo 'll sort em out. LM: I see. MOS: Basically Larry, Bibbo wil be there with me every time I fight. When the going gets tough and people like Brian Lau decide to help out his man in the ring, Bibbo here will be there to stop it. He'll be there this Wednesday when I start my challenge for the new Crusierweight title. LM: You'll be meeting Pale Rider in the first round... MOS: That's right. And I'll be going all out to make sure that the Man of Steel advances in this tournament. I won't be taking him lightly, I can assure you. And again I have to be wary of Josey Wales and the rest of the Posse. But Bibbo will be here to take the majority of that away from me. BB: Dat's right, Steel. MOS: All I'll have to worry about is pinning Pale Riders shoulders to the mat for the three count. When that's done I can look forward to a possible clash with Tiger Claw in the second round. And would that be great, or what?! LM: It would seem that Brian Lau is not willing to give you a shot at the IC belt. MOS: Well, if I was to meet Claw in the Crusierweight Tournament and dispose of him there, then I believe that I would have good grounds to have a shot at the Intercontiental Title. Only time will tell on that score, but come Midweek Mayhem, I will be ready. BB: Time youse got back ta work Steel. Need to train 'ard for ya match. MOS: The boss has spoken, Larry. I'll see you at Mayhem. LM: Well this has been informative to say the least. Thanks for your time, Steel -- and thanks to you too, Mr. Bibbowski. See you both at Midweek Mayhem. [Fade as Larry and his camera crew exit, and Steel goes back to train.] 14. DEATHBRINGER overcame the challenge of BLACKJACK HALEY in his first IIWF World Heavyweight Championship defence, despite the giant's best efforts to dethrone the dead man. 'Bringer eventually hit the Burial to guarantee his victory. However, after the match, the Outlaw once again came to ringside, and a second confrontation resulted. Thankfully, it was defused peacefully, but we all know that these two will meet sooner or later in the ring... and when they do, sparks are really going to fly. What a night it was! Will things ever be the same in the IIWF? Well, the action just keeps getting better and better... there's never been a better time to be a fan of the IIWF, that's for sure! Newcomers ~~~~~~~~~ The ranks of the IIWF continue to swell, and the singles roster will once again be closed soon. However, for now we have another two newcomers to welcome to the league. First up, the dangerous Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven has arrived. I went to meet him, and I soon wished I hadn't: [SCENE: Tim Dross is standing in the interview area. Beside him stands a large man. He has black hair cut in a military fashion and wears a black wrestling singlet similar to Ludvig Borga's, crimson leather gloves without fingers and black boots. There is also a gorgeous blonde woman in her mid-twenties who wears a crimson, very tight nurse's dress.) TD: I am standing here with another IIWf newcomer, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven and his valet and fiancee, Nurse Heidi. Mister Verhoeven you ... [Otto grabs Dross by the jacket] OV: What did you call me, you little, spineless, American wimp? It's Herr Verhoeven! [Heidi whispers something in his ear and he lets Dross go.] TD: Uh, well, okay mi...Herr Verhoeven. Wha...what are your goals here in the IIWF? OV: That is really simple, so all you simpletons can understand me, I hope. I am going to prove that German athletes are the best in the world and you arrogant Americans, or British, or whatever, you will have to face my superior skills. I will teach all you people a lesson, I will humiliate you American hunde, errr...dogs, I will tear you APART! NH: [with accent] Note that ve are no nazees, ve are only proud patriots. OV: You see, the madman Hitler nearly destroyed our great and honorable nation and we despise Germans who cling to the nazi movements ideas. TD: And what do you think about the competition here in the IIWF. OV: Most of them are pathetic losers. I can respect some of the wrestlers here, like the Outlaw or the Syndicate team, but look at wannabes like that imbecile, the Man of Steel, who actually admits to be proud of this rotten, corrupted nation. Or Dan Kauffman. NH: Vat a jerk. He vould not stand a chance against you, the German juggernaut. OV: Of course not. After all, I am a two time All German heavyweight champion and he is just a piece of American trash. And there is that feigling Quigley. He is the proof that a country like Canada produces nothing of any worth. Oh, let's not forget the maniac Billy Shakespeare, who actually thinks he is related to the famous writer. By the way, Shakespeare's works could not compete with most of the classic German dramas like Goethe's Faust. This is no game, and it will be all drama for Billyboy once he meets me. NH: I think he is cute. OV: Bah, schwachsinn! Listen, wrestlers of the IIWF, the Butcher has arrived, and no one will be able to stop me. Does anyone dare to face me and become the ... next victim? [Otto pushes Dross to the ground and they walk off. Fade] What an arrogant man... Let's take a look at his stats: OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN Weight: 340lbs Height: 6'8" Origin: Essen, Germany Valet: "Nurse" Heidi Appearance: Otto is a large man with a built similar to Sid. He has black hair cut in a military fashion. He wears a black wrestling singlet similar to Ludvig Borga's, crimson fingerless leather gloves and black boots. Theme Music: John Carpenter's "Halloween" Orientation: Heel 5 favorite moves: 1. Powerbomb 2. Camel Clutch 3. Surfboard 4. Choke against ropes 5. Jumping DDT Finishers: Meat Hook - Chokeslam off the second rope Slaughterslam - Chokeslam-backbreaker combination - raises opponent by the throat than slams him on his knee) Primary Attributes: 1. Strength 2. Brawling 3. Cheating Profile: The German Otto Verhoeven started his career as a very successful pro boxer, but he was cheated out of a championship match by American promoters. He then snapped during a fight and attacked the American referee. As a result he was banned from boxing forever. He became a wrestler, winning the All-German heavyweight championship twice and earning the nickname Butcher for his violent and merciless style. Otto developed a fanatic determination to prove the superiority of German athletes to the world and, after a short season in Japan, he came to the USA. The Butcher is a brutal brawler and power wrestler who is out to injure his opponents. He truly despises Americans and will humiliate them at all costs, often risking matches by mocking his stunned opponent or the crowd. Nurse Heidi, Otto's fiancee, is a female wrestler. She will often distract either the opposing wrestler or the referee. In the past, she has attacked valets or even weak (Jimmy Hart-style]managers, using her finishing move, the Sedative, a cross-face chickenwing. Heidi is a gorgeous blonde woman in her mid-twenties. Se wears a crimson, very tight nurse dress. [Handler: Thomas Hassel (100.52199@germanynet.de)] We'll see Otto in action tomorrow night as he faces Marty Warnett. If the reports I've heard are anything to go by, Verhoeven is a vicious and dangerous opponent. The second newcomer to introduce today goes by the name of "Badboy" Randy Acorn. Let's hear from him now: [SCENE: Randy Acorn is seen standing on a street corner looking in disgust at the homeless people and poor people wondering the streets. A man asks him for some change and he DDTs him on the sidewalk, then directs his attention towards the camera.] RA: Yeah, that's right, I'm coming to the IIWF. You all are probably wondering how I got them to give me a contract. Well it's simple. They know I'm a bad@$$ and soon everyone else will too. You also are probably wondering who my first opponent will be. Well that is up to you pieces of crap out there. I have an open contract for anyone, anytime, in any kind of match. See I'm not here to mess around by starting with jobbers and working my way up. I'm here to start at the top and stay there. I looked over the list of wrestlers in this fed and there are truly some pansies and there are also a few guys that I may even get along with. So who out there is going to have what it takes to answer the call of challenge from me and get into the ring?? We will see and then he will know why they call me "Badboy". [A kid walks past Randy and doesn't even look at him] RA: HEY!!! You show me some respect. Kid: Stick it. [Randy walks over to the kid and backhands him as the kid falls to the ground crying] RA: You need to learn some respect. And stop crying, you're making yourself look like a girl. Kid: Bu...ttt my...my...fat..tthher.....die....d....today. RA: He probably deserved it, now get the hell out of here before I really hurt you. [The kid runs off crying as Randy gives out a laugh] RA: Man that kid was pitiful, obviously a momma's boy. Wrestlers of the IIWF, I don't care about anyone and whoever answers my open challenge will be truly sorry that they did -- because they will be feeling pains, very _bad_ pains when I stick the knife in ya. [Screen fades to black as Randy walks down the sidewalk and turns the corner.] Clearly this guy fancies himself as quite a competitor. He'll also be in action tomorrow night, and he's walked straight into the final vacant spot in the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament to face Billy Shakespeare this Saturday -- but for now, let's get acquainted with his stats: "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN Weight: 227lbs Height: 6'3" Origin: Newark, NJ Appearance: Wears baggy pants that say "BADBOY" down the pants legs to the ring. When he takes those off, his shorts have "BADBOY" written across his butt. Wears his hair slicked back and always taunts the fans when he comes to the ring. Theme Music: "If I Ruled The World" By NAS Orientation: Heel 5 Favorite Moves: 1. Belly to Belly Suplex 2. German Suplex 3. Springboard Dropkick 4. Spinning Neckbreaker 5. Enzuigiri Finishing Move: Newark Knife - a Texas Cloverleaf. Primary attributes: 1. Technical 2. Mat 3. Brawling Profile: A very cocky individual that was raised in a rough neighborhood where he also carried a cocky attitude. Never had many friends as a kid but didn't need them because he was a hell of a fighter. Found his home in the wrestling ring as a kid and won the State Championship his senior year of high school. Now he's moved to the big times and carries himself a little differently. Loves to use chairs and tables to give his moves a little more impact. Does not care who he wrestles, he just wants to win. [Handler: Jason Satzger (Oldgreymare@worldnet.att.net)] IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 28 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tomorrow night, Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will bring you another evening of incredible IIWF action live from the IIWF Coliseum. As well as live interviews with "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, and the Iron Destroyer, Fisto Flash, we'll see the following outstanding matches: Brad "Bodybag" Kinder vs. The Punster [D] Brad Kinder went down to defeat at the hands of Don Antonio on Saturday Night, and I doubt he'll be in the best frame of mind to deal with the antics of the Punster tomorrow night. This could result in one of two outcomes: Brad, in his most single-minded and methodical style, will take the Punster apart; or the Punster, keeping Kinder out of his rhythm, will put Brad in a bodybag... Either way, this match represents an interesting clash of styles. The Sandman vs. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec [D] The Sandman is one of the most mysterious IIWF superstars, but the biggest mystery surrounding him concerns his ring skills. He has won one and lost one, both with inconclusive results. Has he what it takes to make it in the IIWF? The leader of the Dark Knights faces his toughest challenge yet as he goes up against the "Showstopper", who, after having been knocked out of the Cruiserweight Tournament, is out to prove his mettle once more. "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. Steve DiSalvo [J] [D] Another newcomer to the IIWF, the cocky "Badboy" will make his debut tomorrow night as he faces the one and only Steve DiSalvo. How will Acorn fare against such competition? We'll find out in the Coliseum! Otto Verhoeven vs. Marty Warnett [D] We were introduced to the goofy Marty Warnett last weekend, and we'll see him in action first hand against the "Butcher" Otto Verhoeven this Wednesday night. Warnett, who weighs in at 245lbs, is going to face a tough test if he is to put Verhoeven down. Otto is a giant, and there's only one thing more dangerous than a giant: a vicious giant. The "Butcher" has smashed his way through other leagues' competition: has he got what it takes to make it in the IIWF? We'll get our first glimpse tomorrow night. The Hangman vs. Phantom [D] Speculation concerning the future of the Hangman continues, but he'll try to put all that behind him as he goes up against the Phantom, who's fed up with his bad performances here in the IIWF: [SCENE: Phantom stands in the IIWF interview area.] Phantom: I am fed up with always getting gipped in matches losing by disqualification. I want some justice and I want some title shots, so If don't start to get them, I will give every one in this fed something they'll remember. [Fade] Of course, Fisto Flash will be in the Coliseum tomorrow night, and the Hangman will have to have one eye on the outside of the ring if he is to put the Phantom away and keep Fisto at bay. This one could turn nasty, folks. The Final Truth vs. Heavy Metal Since the disbanding of the Returners, Sabin Figaro hasn't been lazy. He's found himself another tag partner, "Illuminiti" Bob Hansen, and together they are the Final Truth. They'll be going up against the deadly Heavy Metal tomorrow night, and I wouldn't be surprised to see them overturned by Robo Stone's immensely powerful twin duo. The Crippler vs. Joe Latta The Crippler is a grappler's grappler; Latta, one of the most promising rookies to have entered the IIWF, is coming on in leaps and bounds under the tutelage of the Syndicate, although the moral virtues being instilled in him by Brian Lau remain somewhat questionable. Nonetheless, expect this match to be a big test of Latta's scientific skills; we know he possesses power, but we have yet to see him mix it up on the mat and come out on top. This should be an outstanding match, folks. =================================================== IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Matches: =================================================== Man Of Steel vs. Pale Rider Crimson Storm vs. Tiger Claw We'll be seeing the two first round matches in the second bracket of the Cruiserweight tournament tomorrow night. The Man Of Steel is coming off the back of a tough loss, and he might not be in the best physical or psychological condition to face Pale Rider tomorrow night. Usually, I would bet on Pale in this match, but the Drifters have had to contend with a shattering title loss, and I think the pride of Josey Wales' Posse has been dented. This one will be won by the man with the greatest desire for the gold. We'll also see the IC champ, Tiger Claw, gun for a second piece of silverware as he goes up against the promising Crimson Storm. This one should be a good match, folks. We know that Claw would like to hold two titles at once, and Storm is reticent to speak to our cameras. He is very much a dark horse, and he could well surprise Lau's confident champion. We'll see tomorrow night! Robski vs. "Nuclear" John Bomber Sadly, folks, this match won't go ahead. You will remember that Robski suffered an injury at the hands of Blackjack Haley at Midsummer Madness -- well, it seems that injury has put him out of wrestling for good. We caught up with Robski and manager Max Clifford in hospital: [SCENE: Robski is in his hospital bed, a Doctor has just left, Robski and Max look at each other] Max: Well, that's it then. Robski: A fractured neck, which could go again at any time... Max: So not only have you been deprived of your title shot, but also of your livelihood. Robski: I have really liked being in the IIWF, but it is obviously over now. Max: Goodbye IIWF, it was fun... [Fade] However, Robski has been instructed by the IIWF's Front Office that since he is almost fully mobile, the injury's nature apparently being a hairline fracture that could kill if exacerbated by active participation in the ring, but which should not otherwise detract from the quality of life, Robski must fulfil his contractual obligations by attending tomorrow night's event in person and conceding the match to "Nuclear" John Bomber. It seems like a bizarre sanction to me, but the front office, in their infinite wisdom, have ruled that this must take place. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare Talk about being thrown in at the deep end! After an impressive debut at the weekend, the "Enigma" must face one of the IIWF's most loved established stars, Billy Shakespeare, tomorrow night. Bear in mind that we could be seeing this match again in a couple of weeks if both Shakespeare and Musashi advance in the Cruiserweight Tournament, so this could be a good barometer of how these men match up. Expect a high-flying, high-speed encounter. I myself can't wait for this one, and tip this match to steal the show -- Shakespeare wouldn't have it any other way: [As part of promoting the federation, the Superstars of the IIWF have an exhaustive schedule of appearances. One such Superstar is "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. The following is a partial transcipt of his recent appearance on radio station KRGO] DJ: Thanks for joining us Billy. BS: Anytime, "Mark-In-The-Morning", it's been a couple of months. What happened to Rockin' Ross? DJ: Well, after he booked The Outlaw to appear we received so many irate calls from listeners, and our sponsors threatened to pull out, so we had to fire him. But on the subject of leaving, what is the true story behind your retirement? Many say it was a publicty stunt. BS: I joke about a lot of things, but retirement isn't one of them. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but I quickly realized that it wasn't what I wanted. Some kind words from Prez Daniel and the Punster confirmed that. DJ: Let's go to the phones. Caller: Hey Billy, we saw you in Maryland. You're the greatest. But what's up next? BS: Never a dull moment for Billy Shakespeare. I still would like the IC belt, and now there's the exciting Cruiserweight Title. Caller: You're going to challenge Tiger Claw? BS: That would be pointless. Kung Pao Lau will never give me a shot. DJ: Kung Pao? That's oriental chicken. BS: You're the one who said it. DJ: You say he's afraid of you? BS: Let's just say that after he lost the Intercontinental Strap once, he's not going to risk losing it again. If you recall, I managed a victory over Brad Kinder who beat Claw. They want nothing to do with me. Maybe Claw will lose the belt to Latta so they can keep it in the family. DJ: What about the Cruiserweight Championship? BS: I think it's great. Some of the best wrestlers in the IIWF are smaller guys. While any one of us could win the Heavyweight championship, let's be honest, a leg drop from a 300 pound guy hurts more than from a 220 pounder. New Caller: What do you think about this new guy, Enigma, who you're about to face? BS: I'm always wary of new wrestlers, they have a need to prove themselves and that can be just enough edge. But on the other hand, he has a lot more to learn from me than I do from him. As was so eloquently put in Henry IV, part 2, "Let the end try the man." What worries me more is the open bracket in the tourney. Last time that happened I found myself fighting for my career against Moondust. DJ: Then why did you take this moment to challenge Outlaw Hardin? BS: I made no challenge. I just let him know that not everyone is afraid of him. We let him ride roughshod, yet only the valient Punster and the optomistic Ned Norton step into the ring against him. Last Saturday was the regretable result. A whole bottle of Prozac would not be wasted on Outlaw. Get well soon "Nifty" Ned. DJ: I think that goes for all of us. New Caller: Hey Billy, is there anything you can tell us about the other wrestlers in the IIWF? BS: Are you kidding? Last time I did that both Outlaw and Deathbringer offered to shut me up. DJ: Aw, c'mon.. BS: Well, okay. Robski was most recently overheard buying stock in McDonalds Corporation. And for the last month Joe Latta has been trying to pick the combination on Dan Kauffman's locker. The most amusing locker room antics belong to the newly christened "Blackheart" James who stands in from of the mirror posing and chanting "The other wrestlers ARE afraid of me." In other news, Simon LeBec uses cue cards when he interviews. He also places gauze over the camera lens to hide his wrinkles and sagging chin. On that note, I think Miss Crystal is sweet on yours truly. DJ: Anything you'd like to add? BS: Just that I'm going to kill you all and take the gold. DJ: Excuse me? BS: Sorry, inside joke. DJ: Let's go to a word from our sponsors. BS: And don't forget Ring Wars II in September... [Fade] Subway Psycho vs. "Painbringer" Billy Sexton The people's champion returns to the ring tomorrow night, coming off the back of a quiet spell following his disappointment at not regaining the World title at Midsummer Madness. However, he vows that the belt will be his once again, and he will eliminate the contenders one by one to get back into the number one slot. He begins his crusade with a match against the man who has been making a meteoric rise through the ranks of the IIWF, "Painbringer" Billy Sexton. Let's get Sexton's comments now: [Camera fades in to Billy Sexton stomping around the IIWF interview area. Sexton turns to the camera. He speaks:] "OH YEAH! Psycho, baby, this Wednesday it's just you and me. You say you're the people's champion. Well, baby, that don't matter much considering you don't have the gold. This Wednesday Night the time has come for you to taste the pain. 'Cause pain is something I can take and dish out over and over again. Wednesday night you will face the greatest sumbission wrestler in the world today. If you don't believe me now Psycho, just wait. 'Cause when I get my armbar on you, and you are cryin' out of pain... then you will know. Then you will realize what happens to every man that steps into the ring with the Painbringer. Just ask Starks...oh, I'm sorry, he isn't here anymore. Perhaps I finished his career. This Wednesday night you will get a taste of pain. When you feel it tell your friends the Painbringer Billy Sexton is in town. The time for games is over -- the time for pain has just begun. OH YEAH!" [Fade] How will the Psycho fare against the mat style of Sexton? If he is able to beat Sexton up early on with his power moves, he could take the match, but the longer it goes, the more the match swings in the "Painbringer"'s favour. Either way, expect a great match between these two IIWF superstars to top off a great card. IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The IIWF Cruiserweight Tournament will be well underway by the end of this week, with all three brackets up and running. Let's remind ourselves of the current status of the tournament: First Round Semi-finals Finals [ Dan Kauffman ]-. |-[ Dan Kauffman ]-. [ Bob Hansen ]-' | |-[ Finalist ] [ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-. | |-[ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-' [ Simon Lebec ]-' [ Man Of Steel ]-. |-[ Winner ]-. [ Pale Rider ]-' | |-[ Finalist ] [ Tiger Claw ]-. | |-[ Winner ]-' [ Crimson Storm ]-' [ Chris Quigley ]-. |-[ Winner ]-. [ Takezo Musashi ]-' | | [ B. Shakespeare ]-. |-[ Finalist ] |-[ Winner ]-' [ Randy Acorn ]-' Even in the first two matches, we've been rewarded with some highly competitive action, and things will continue to heat up as the stakes get higher and higher. We already know the first of our three semi-finals will be Dan Kauffman battling Hakiro Matsuoko, and we'll find out what the other two will be by the end of this Saturday Night. Stay tuned for further developments in this great competition. Special Interview: Deathbringer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deathbringer, is certainly a man under fire at the moment. I met with him, at his request, yesterday, and he had the following comments for us: [SCENE: Deathbringer's graveyard. Tim Dross is standing in front of the crypt.] TD: Tonight, I'll be interviewing the new champion, Deathbringer. He invited me to this place and promised to tell us something about his thoughts and feelings. This could become very interesting. Ah, here he comes, I guess... [You hear echoing steps from inside the crypt. Deathbringer slowly appears in the entrance, comes out and walks over to Dross] TD: Deathbringer, thanks for granting me a few minutes of your time to get some comments from you. DB: Dross, for me time is eternal and I think it was about time to say some clear words about the situation in the IIWF right now. TD: I suppose you talk about the huge confrontation that took place after the Outlaw's match this past Saturday... DB: [interrupting] ...and about the Outlaw especially. When I first entered the IIWF I wanted to destroy all the evil in the ranks of the wrestlers. TD: And as I understand it this is still your mission. DB: Yes, some things never change. However, it seems as if things have just got worse and worse since Coronation Clash. What we saw last Saturday could be called an escalated situation, but in my eyes it was not escalated. It was just the tip of the iceberg. Follow me, Dross... TD: Whatever you say. [They walk between the graves and finally reach a bridge. They stand in the centre of the bridge:] DB: Look down, Dross... [As Dross looks down, Deathbringer raises his hands. At the surface of the water the image of a wrestling ring appears. In and around the ring lie many wrestlers and even officials, while others are still fighting, using chairs, the timekeeper's bell and other foreign objects. All hell breaks loose as some fans jump over the steel barrier and enter the ring as well. The image fades] TD: What on earth was that? DB: Roberts possibly would call it a cheap parlour trick. But I would call it a kind of vision, something that _will_ happen if nothing is done. The whole situation will escalate into a giant good versus evil war and while the outcome is unknown one thing is certain: Both sides will have to claim casualties. And if I say casualties, I mean casualties. It will be total carnage, especially as the lines are not clearly drawn. And I am standing right in the middle of that fight. TD: What can be done to stop that situation occurring? More security? Tighter rules? DB: No... what security could stop thirty of the toughest wrestlers this world has to offer when they plan to march into war? We have to destroy the roots, not the breed. However, I cannot tell you anymore about this right now. TD: Well then, let's move on to another topic, the IIWF championship belt. Your first defence was quite impressive. Certainly you wanted to set a clear mark about your capabilities. DB: No, Dross, the time for setting marks is over, I set enough of them already. When I look at the comments of the countless challengers to the title I really wonder whether they ever listened to my words in the past. I warned them, one by one. They told me that they were not afraid of Death, they betrayed theirselves and in the end... well, Dross, you know the outcome of my matches. There is an endless list of challengers right now and they will all get their shot if they really want it. Although I am slowly growing tired of telling them that they are just mortals I will hereby say it once more: Fear Death, but accept it as a friend. Keep your soul clean and I will lead you to the Dark Side. Destroy the evil inside you, for no man can defeat me while his soul is black. I know that my words are useless, they will keep telling me that they are fearless. However, as long as they betray themselves I cannot see how they want to strip me of that belt." TD: Now I'd like to take a look at the competitors. Let's start with men like Joe Latta, Fisto Flash or Billy Sexton. DB: I have to say that I see no real championship material in them right now. Latta, for instance, has grown under the guidance of Brian Lau, granted. But the differences with the Dark Knights should be quite menacing for him right now. I cannot see how he wants to concentrate on a championship match with those men waiting for him. But as I said it earlier on, if they want a shot, they will get a shot. TD: Then we've got Casey James or Brad Kinder. DB: Kinder has been Intercontinental champion already. I am sure he would like to hear himself called champ again. As far as Casey James is concerned: I would indeed like to show him what Black Death really was all about. TD: What about your friends, the Subway Psycho and Dan Kauffman? DB: The Psycho really deserves a shot at the title, for he is the man who was unfairly stripped of it. If he wants a shot, he will get it immediately. The same goes to Kauffman of course, however I see him too involved in his tournament right now. TD: What about the rumors that Kauffman has become jealous? DB: What should he be jealous about? The title and the advantages that come along with it? Advantages like dozens of men wanting to jump you from behind, beating you up, doing whatever it takes to get the gold? No, I am not concerned about his loyalty. After all, if men like Kauffman would join forces with the Syndicate or the Dark Knights, it could very well be the time to get the Coroner back and wipe out this league. TD: What gives with the Coroner, anyway? He seemed quite upset when you banned him from ringside. And he made a threat that we've not seen the last of him... DB: This is really a dark chapter in my book of history. The Coroner was about to jump at me after all those years in which we worked well together. His Masters of Pain influenced him until he really lost it. It would be more than a problem if he and his former stable really re-entered this league. I however do not think we will see him ever again. TD: Now about the man who perhaps could become your worst nightmare, the Outlaw. What are your feelings if you think about stepping into the ring against him?" DB: First of all I have no feelings whatsoever. I could not be more afraid as if it was Scott "The Whine" Bloom I had to step into the ring against. Earlier on I said that some things never change... But I can say right now that some things _do_ change. J.W. Hardin IV, just a few weeks ago you betrayed yourself, you fought against yourself and this was a struggle you could not win. But now, with that despicable display of cruelty last Saturday you gained my attention. You now have to battle me, and it is a battle you cannot win either. What did you see when you looked into my eyes? A glance of fear? I do not think so. You saw your future. Somewhen, somewhere we will meet. And it will be your personal judgement day. On that day I will be the jury, and I will be the hangman, but the judge will be the man you want to send me to. TD: That almost sounds like a threat. DB: I do not make threats, I only make promises. Look down, and you will see what I mean. [Dross looks down to the water as Deathbringer once again raises his arms. On the surface the image of the Outlaw appears, who lies inside a casket, his arms crossed on his chest. The casket slowly closes as the image fades. As the camera moves back to Dross, Deathbringer has vanished.] TD: Hey -- where did he -- well, so much for cheap parlour tricks, folks. I'm out of here. [Fade as Dross moves out of the screen and the camera pans down to the water again] IIWF Saturday Night - 31 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This Saturday's card is already shaping up to be another classic. Let's take a look at the lineup as it stands right now: - MAGUS vs. CRIMSON STORM - JOE LATTA vs. THE SANDMAN - IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament: = "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi = "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. "Badboy" Randy Acorn - IIWF World Tag Team Championship Match: = Armed Forces vs. High Plains Drifters - MARTY WARNETT vs. "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC We'll see the new tag champions in action, and Tiger Claw's Intercontinental Championship will also be on the line against an as yet unnamed opponent. More matches will be announced in time for Friday's report, when I'll give a complete rundown. One pairing who hope to be in action once again on Saturday are Stunt Team USA. Let's hear from them now: [SCENE: Inside a training gym. Ron and Steve are practicing some new moves.] Steve: Howdy, folks! Midsummer Madness is over and Ron was cheated out of his place in the final match. Now this ain`t too bad, afterall we're a tag-team and not singles wrestlers. Ron: Yeah... So why should I become angry about that? As a matter of fact, this way both of us were able to save up some energy for the upcoming battles. And the battle that I can see in the near future is a shot at the title against those new champions, the Armed Forces. Steve: Very right. Forces, you cheated us once and we declared war on you. Now that you have the belts around your waists there'll be no more "Cease Fire"-commands. If ya have the guts, put up the title on the line. Then we'll come and get it! Ron: Another thing we wanted to talk about is our new... MANAGER. Yeah, we got one, and not just anyone, but the very best when it comes to tag-team action. He`s on his way to the IIWF headquarters right now, and if everything works out fine he'll be able to talk to you on the next report. Steve: Alright, Ron, I guess we gotta get back to work now! Ron: Sure. Steve and Ron: CUT! [Fade] And Marty Warnett will be facing the Showstopper. Let's get Marty's comments now: [SCENE: a swimming pool, Marty sat on inflatable sunbed, surrounded by bikini clad women.] MW: Well, I guess you all wanna know how I came to join the IIWF ... I received several other offers, so why don't we look at 'em? Firstly, the double-yah, double-yah, fuh ... Well, Vinnie did offer good terms, but he wanted ME to job, to Shawn, Bret, heck, even to form the Jobber Express with Aldo Montoya ... no thanks, I've seen what you've done to Sean Waltman's career. Next, the double-yah, see, double-yah. Things there are kinda in a flux, with all this Outsiders business, although Bischoff approached me to be Glacier ... Third, the en, double-yah, oh. Bollywood Bogan approached me, to be the sixty-ninth man, even though I've never been near Vinnie Mac. What did he want me to do? "Say your prayers, do your training, take your ster ... er ... ICOPRO .. er vitamins for the partying ahead ... Whatcha gonna do when partymania rocks wild over you?" Finally, the eeee, seee, double-yah. Now, I respect Paul E. and his athletes, but there's no way I was going to join and face Brian Lee. Heck, I was supposed to be chokeslammed by Brian Lee through fifteen tables, landing on a barbed wire baseball bat surrounded by landmines and SWAT teams. The only offense I had was when a fan would hand me a Pammy poster ... and microwaves belong in the kitchen, not the ring. When Prez Man Dan rang .... I was out partying ... but I listened to the answerphone message giving me the opportunity to wrestle the best, and be the best, and knew I belonged here in party heaven! I'm here for you, the fans, especially the blondes ... and I hear there's a redhead babe lurking around ringside ... It seems there's a lot of heels around. That's good, it means I have a lot of stepping stones to the World title - yeah, DeathDude, though I wander through the valley of the non-partyers, I will fear no boredom. But that's in the future. My contract is open, c'mon and face me! [Phone rings] Blonde: Marty, it's Dave Lee Roth for you. [Hands cellular phone over] MW: Hi, Dave. Pity 'bout the last album and tour sales ... Yea, yeah, I know. What ... I've already read Kitsch Entertainment Weekly ... Page 4? Okay, thanks, see ya later .... [Opens Magazine] Well, well, well, it seems my next opponent has been chosen. Mr LeBec, would you like to hear the review of "Simon does Saskatchewan"? No? Tough .. "Simon's acting is so wooden, it makes you want to destroy rain forests"..."Mr LeBec sucked more than Divine Brown on Hugh Grant"..."Simon LeBec hits Canada; they should've ducked"..."He should stick to what he does worst; get his butt kicked in the ring"... Actually, the last comment was mine. Mr LeBec, you can't win without using your fake awards. Let's see how tough you really are. Showstopper? Meet the Heartstopper. [Fade] Current Rankings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The IIWF front office continue to move the goalposts for the rest of us. Without warning, they have reorganised the rankings system here in the IIWF. They have moved to a percentage win system, with a couple of riders: firstly, if two wrestlers have the same win percentage, the wrestler who has fought more matches will be ranked higher; and second, wrestlers who have fought only one match, and thus achieved either a 100% or 0% win percentage will not be ranked higher than wrestlers who have fought more than one match. Yes, folks, I'm confused too, but I'm told this system is very straightforward really. With that in mind, let's get to those rankings, which take into account all matches up to and including this past Saturday Night's event: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 14 10 2 2 79% (WC) WC Tiger Claw H 15 9 6 0 60% (IC) IC ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Outlaw J.W. Hardin H 13 9 2 2 77% (1) 1 Dan Kauffman F 13 9 2 2 77% (3) 2 Subway Psycho F 13 9 3 1 73% (2) 3 Hakiro Matsuoko H 9 5 3 1 72% (12=) 4 Billy Sexton H 7 5 2 0 71% (9) 5 Billy Shakespeare F 10 7 3 0 70% (5) 6 Vinny Cappicola F 5 3 1 1 70% (19) 7 Don Antonio F 10 6 4 0 60% (7=) 8 Phantom H 5 3 2 0 60% (18) 9 Brad "Bodybag" Kinder H 15 8 6 1 57% (4) 10 Blackjack Haley H 14 6 5 3 54% (6) 11 Casey James H 12 5 5 2 50% (10) 12 Simon Lebec F 10 5 5 0 50% (7=) 13 Prince of Darkness H 10 4 4 2 50% (12=) 14 Joe Latta H 9 4 4 1 50% (12=) 15 The Crippler H 6 3 3 0 50% (17) 16 The Hangman H 5 2 2 1 50% (21) 17= The Punster F 5 2 2 1 50% (20) 17= The Sandman H 2 1 1 0 50% (24) 19 Fisto Flash H 10 4 5 1 45% (15=) 20 Robski H 9 4 5 0 44% (15=) 21 Mr. Damage H 5 2 3 0 40% (25) 22 Man Of Steel F 13 4 7 2 39% (11) 23 Magus H 6 2 4 0 33% (22) 24 "Nuclear" John Bomber F 5 1 4 0 20% (26) 25 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prisoner #109 H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 26= Chris Quigley F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 26= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 26= Pale Rider H 1 0 1 0 0% (27) 29 Crimson Storm F - - - - - (-) - Marty Warnett F - - - - - (-) - "Badboy" Randy Acorn H - - - - - (-) - Otto Verhoeven H - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Armed Forces H 6 5 1 0 83% (4) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ High Plains Drifters H 12 9 3 0 75% (WT) 1 Stunt Team USA F 12 7 5 0 58% (1) 2 Atomic Destroyers H 9 4 4 1 50% (3) 3 Steamroller F 6 2 4 0 33% (6) 4 Law & Disorder F 3 1 2 0 33% (8) 5 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heavy Metal H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 6 Rising Sun Revolution F 4 4 0 0 100% (4) 7 The Final Truth F - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ In Friday's report, my Dross Report will focus on the newcomers to the IIWF, and what they can offer the league as it continues to move forwards. We'll also run down the results of tomorrow night's Mayhem, look forward to more action on Saturday Night, and be hearing from all the IIWF superstars. Don't miss Midweek Mayhem, live from the IIWF Coliseum tomorrow night. I'll be there, along with Larry Morton and Becky LaRue, so you be there too! I'll be back in the Control Centre on Friday. Thanks for being with us today; until Friday, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+