##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Update - 30 August 1996 ----------------------------------------------- Hello there, folks, and welcome to another IIWF Control Centre update! I'm Tim Dross, and we're coming off the back of another great Midweek Mayhem, at which we saw another heinous act perpetrated by the Outlaw, J.W. Hardin. We'll be talking about that a whole lot here today, plus: - running down all the action from Wednesday night's card - looking forward to tomorrow night's action - updating you on more newcomers to the IIWF - examining the status of the Cruiserweight Tournament and in my Dross Report, I'll be looking in detail at the newcomers to the IIWF and what kind of an impact they could make. So let's get straight to it! IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 28 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, folks, it was another evening of outstanding action in the IIWF Coliseum this past Wednesday. Let's run down the events of the card: 1. BRAD "BODYBAG" KINDER took out his frustrations on the PUNSTER and pinned him after the "Dead Man's Honor" modified piledriver. The Punster has shaken off defeat, however, and has already targeted another opponent: [Fade in on a single-chair barber shop. A figure sits in the chair with his back to the camera, but he quickly swirls around while playing with the chair controls. Yeah, it's the Punster . . . sans mask. The chair hisses as he pumps the control which raises the chair then spins it around several times while laughing uncontrollably. A customer walks in, sees the Punster in the chair, and quickly leaves. Punster is about to call out to the man when he notices the camera.] "Oh, hello there . . . and welcome to the Punster's "clip joint," where customers are hair today and gone tomorrow. Hehehehehehe! [he tosses a pair of scissors into the air and watches them fall to the floor] Ooops, looks like a scissors takedown. I love doing that just for the "shear" thrill of it. Which brings me to the point of today's interview . . . one Prince of Darkness. It seems people have been having a "devil" of a time with this guy from the underworld but I've found that he's . . . [he tosses powder toward the camera] . . . all "talc." Hehehehehehe! Perhaps we should refer to him simply as "the wrestler formerly known as Prince" of Darkness. "Anyhooooooo . . . Billy Shakespeare has his hands full with this cruiserweight tournament, so he suggested I "comb" the ranks of the IIWF for a challenge. Well I've landed on the P-O-D himself. Okay PODner, as the Drifters would say, consider this a challenge. Because my riddle for the day is: What do Tim Dross and the Prince of Darkness have in common? Give up? they're like "toupees on a POD." Hehehehehehe! Toupees on a POD! [Punster releases the vertical lever and the chair lowers to the floor. He pulls on his mask and grabs a straight-edge razor from the counter. His voice suddenly becomes serious.] "And come prepared P-O-D, because the Punster cuts [he makes a slicing motion with the razor] through the nonsense." [Fade to black] 2. SIMON LEBEC defeated THE SANDMAN thanks to the interference of JOE LATTA. The Syndicate's wonderboy came down to the ring and performed his Shotgun Suplex on the Sandman on the arena floor, before rolling the Knights' leader back into the ring where Lebec applied the Antagonist for the submission victory. You can bet that the Sandman is going to be even more fired up going into his match tomorrow night with Latta... 3. "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN made a successful debut as he defeated the MASKED MARAUDER, forcing him to submit to his "Newark Knife" Texas Clover Leaf hold. 4. OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN, the dangerous debutant from Germany, faced fellow newcomer MARTY WARNETT, and came out on top, pinning Marty after his Meat Hook chokeslam from the second rope at the climax of a hard-fought battle. Let's hear from the Butcher now: [SCENE: A very crowded gym. A balding, slightly overweight man of about 60 years with a "Floyds wrestling school" t-shirt is standing next to Tim Dross and Nurse Heidi.) TD: I am here with the NWA wrestling legend "Cute" Carly Floyd, whose wrestling facility is today used as a training place of the new IIWF star Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. This is a part of the IIWF's endeavours to support independent wrestling schools. Floyd: I am honored that such a big name federation like the IIWF chose my little place to start with that project. We have many guests here today who want to see what an accomplished wrestler like Otto Verhoeven can do. He will fight my brightest and most promising student, my nephew Timmy. Heidi: I promise that Otto will not disappoint the audience tonight. [Cut to a ring, which looks rather old. A young man, weighing no more than 220 pounds, is testing the ropes. Then the menacing form of Otto Verhoeven steps into the ring, and the small crowd boos. The Butcher looks around with a sneer on his face, then storms forward and sends Timmy to the mat with a devastating lariat. The crowd is stunned and silent. Verhoeven laughs loud as he pull his opponent up, only to send him crashing down with a quick jumping DDT. Carly Floyd, obviously acting as a referee, checks his nephew, but Verhoeven pushes him aside locks on a Camel Clutch on the nearly unconscious victim.] TD: What is he doing? This should be a friendly promotion mtch, not a slaughter. Heidi: Otto plays no games, Herr Dross. If he hs to face an opponent, he will give his best. Dross: What?! He's crippling the kid! [In the ring, Verhoeven has released the hold. Timmy does not move. Now Otto raises his open hand, signalling for his Meat Hook finisher.] TD: Oh no! This will be the end of young Timmy's career. [The German raises his opponent by the hair, but Carly jumps between them and tries to push the IIWF star away. Otto lets Tommy slump to the ground, then his hand shoots forward and he grabs the throat of the retired wrestler. The audience screams and a muscular man with a Floyd school t-shirt slides into the ring, but he comes too late as Verhoeven has already executed the Slaughterslam. Carly lies twitching on the ground next to his motionless nephew.] TD: And he turns around to face the other mn who wanted to help but -- OH NO! Heidi: Now that was a perfect powerbomb. [Otto leves the ring. The small crwod turns to run and some other trainers enter the ring to help the injured man.] TD: Are you out of your mind? OV: Shut up, wimp! What you witnessed is the end of every match of the Butcher: carnage unleashed! I do not pull my punches, not for any American imbecile! But another fool has caught my attention. Chris Quigley, the self-proclaimed master of wrestling. His arrogant demeanor is just sickening. He tells everyone how many titles he won in other leagues and how the "great" Bret Hart was his trainer, and then he thinks he is immediatly a top contender. I do not see what is so great about that loser. After all, he is only a Canadian, and we all know what a pathetic nation that is. A big, backward wasteland which has played NO part in world history. I will prove how miserable that stupid country is in FWLI where I will destroy the Canadian Patriot Doug George, but here I will make my mark by humiliating Quigley. Heidi: He vill go down, Otto, no doubt about that. Otto: What do you say, Quigley? You will have to learn a lesson in humility and the Butcher is going to be the teacher. A wise man once said "it does not matter if you win or lose, it matters only how much blood you draw". Quigley, you will be the next victim! [Fade] 5. THE HANGMAN defeated the PHANTOM with his Scaffold belly-to-belly superplex, sending out a clear message to Fisto Flash, who came to ringside after the match. Later on in the same evening, I interviewed Fisto, and he demanded a No Countout, No Disqualification match with the Hangman this Saturday Night. The match has been signed, folks -- and what a match it's going to be! 6. HEAVY METAL, Robo Stone's new tag team, squashed THE FINAL TRUTH in a dominating performance, hardly allowing Figaro and Hansen to perform as a team at all. The Steele twins are pleased with their performance, and looking for a shot at the champions, the Armed Forces: [SCENE: Heavy Metal stand behind manager Robo Stone in the IIWF interview area.] Robo Stone: The Final Truth. The final truth is NOT a tag-team. The final truth is NOT an adjective. The FINAL truth is DESTRUCTION. And NOBODY does it better than HEAVY METAL. Atlas Steele: The Final Truth tried to make the contest our FINAL match. But it didn't happen, did it, boys? What IS final is the fact that now we beat up The Final Lie, we're goin' STRAIGHT to the top. Apollo Steele: You HEAR us, Armed Forces!?!?!? You better get used to the luxury, 'cause they DON'T have the champagne and caviar dreams in the HOSPITAL; and THAT'S where you're gonna be after HEAVY METAL runs wild all over YOU!!!! [Fade] 7. ROBSKI defeated "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER when Bomber was unable to come to the ring, due to being incapacitated in his locker room. Robski, of course, was supposed to be retiring himself, following a dangerous neck injury, but that proved to be another lie from the self-proclaimed "English Sensation", since when Bomber finally escaped from his locker room and hit the ring, Robski attacked him from behind, throwing away the neck brace that was supposedly keeping his neck in position. This appears to have been the last straw for John Bomber: [SCENE: A calm afternoon inside a building. People walking through a mall, waiting for the elevators... When suddenly, a group of men scatter through the doors.] Men: HURRY UP!!! HE'S INSANE!!! HE'S DESTRYOING THE BUILDING!! [Many people start to run in panic, as we hear sounds of furniture being broken, and then, the door through which the men have poured starts to be punched. The door breaks into two pieces, and "Nuclear" John Bomber storms through:] "YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Magus... Magus... MAGUS!!! You...are...the...#1...on...my...list!!! I'm tired of your face!! You interfered twice in my matches!! Now, I'll interfere in your life!!! After I DESTROY this Magus, Robski, you will be next!!! So, you were leaving IIWF?? I was a fool to trust some dork like you!! When I've finished with Magus... IT WILL BE YOUR END!!! YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" ["Nuclear" John Bomber throws a table over the window and punches the camera. The screen fades as we hear more sounds of furniture being broken.] So Robski is still in the thick of things here in the IIWF, and outside the rings, things seem to be going a little pear-shaped for the disgusting thug: [SCENE: the foyer of a hotel in the Strand area of London, Robski walks in, he is wearing a suit and has a rolled up newspaper under his arm, he approaches the receptionist.] Robski: Ah, good afternoon, young lady. Mr Lefebvre to see Mr Hamid. Receptionist: Mr Hamid is already here sir, on table 14, he is awaiting you. Robski: Thank you. [Robski walks into the hotel dining room, his eyes scan the room, he recognises the man he has come to see, he walks over to him and sits down] Robski: Good day to you. We aren't going to have to go through all that "It is warm in Baghdad for the time of year guff", are we? Hamid: [laughing] But no, my friend, I know you and you know me, is it still "Mr Lefebvre"? Robski: [laughs] For the time being it is. Hamid: The deal is done? Robski: Yes, "Machine tools" to be exported to your nation, via Russia, overland. Hamid: You will have no problems with Russia? Robski: The people who REALLY run Russia have been bought, it is no problem, anyway I dare say you will _take care_ of them if they do go back on the deal. Hamid: But of course, my friend. Anyway, time is of the essence, I am not keen to be seen here much longer, you have the details? Robski: In the paper as agreed, and you have the finance arrangements? Hamid: Likewise. Robski: Well, we will do the deal, and depart. We will not meet again. Hamid: Until the next time we need machine tools. [Both men laugh. Robski picks up Hamid's newspaper, as he does he notices two men on a nearby table. One has a camera, and he clicks as Robski picks up the paper.] Robski: We've been spotted. [The two men realise that they have been spotted and get up and run. Robski gives chase out onto the main street, the smaller of the two men is far too fast for Robski, but the larger man is not, Robski catches up with him in a sidestreet, he manages to grab him and throws him to the ground.] Robski: WHO ARE YOU? [The man reaches into his jacket and pulls out a revlover.] Man: Good ol' Uncle Sam, boy! [Robski recoils at the gun, the man gets up and runs off, Robski does not give chase... his mind races: who could be behind this... not someone from the IIWF surely... surely not! Fade] 8. MAN OF STEEL defeated PALE RIDER in his first round Cruiserweight Championship Tournament match. It was a hard-fought victory for the bruised Steel, when the interference of Pale's tag partner, Easy Rider, backfired, and Steel was able to make the cover. Let's hear from the IIWF's very own superhero now: [The Man of Steel and Bibbo Bibowski are sat talking in Bibbo's Gym. They are talking and joking as Larry Morton walks in.] MOS: I'm glad I got that win. Really going to take me a long way. BB: Dat's right Steel. Dat win will take ya to da top. You'll be dere holding the hopes of all da little Steelers out dere. LM: Hope I'm not intruding.... MOS: Oh, hi Larry. How's things? LM: Pretty good actually. Yourself? MOS: Well, like I said, I was going to win against Pale Rider. And now I get to face Tiger Claw, and I have to say I am looking forward to the match. LM: Looking forward? Looking forward to a match with Tiger Claw? He's no man to be taken lightly, Steel. Two time Intercontinental Champion and all. MOS: Yeah, but now I get to prove my point that I am worthy of taking the Intercontinental Title away from him. Tiger Claw is a great wrestler, but I think I am better. When we step into the ring for the Second Round of the Cruiserweight Title Tournament I will be ready for you and I will be giving 110% to beat you. BB: But dat's not all. When Steel beats ya, he's gonna be in line for a shot at da IC belt. And when ya haveta give it to 'im, ya gonna lose the little strap 'round ya waist. MOS: But Brian Lau has said something that I have thought about. Lau, you said that, firstly, I don't deserve a shot at the IC belt, and second, that it is not on the line during this tournament. Well I put two and two together and came up with this. If you are so confident that Tiger Claw is going to walk all over me in our upcoming match, put the Intercontinental Title on the line. After all, what have you got to lose if I'm as bad as you say? Isn't Tiger Claw going to kick my ass inside the first minute or so? But no. You know better don't you Mr. Lau! BB: Is da Tiger Claw scared? Or does he have ta ask his dadda Bri' Lau wat too do? LM: Well, there you have it. Steel wants a shot at the IC belt during the Crusierweight Title Tournament. Will we here a response from Tiger Claw and Brian Lau, or will they stay silent? Only time will tell. [Fade] 9. TIGER CLAW defeated CRIMSON STORM to secure his passage into the semi-finals of the Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. He hit his Golden Tiger Strike for the victory, but only after Blackjack Haley had run down to the ring and attacked Crimson Storm, just as he had at Midsummer Madness. Nobody knows why Haley chooses to attack Storm, but rumours persist that Haley might be on his way out of the IIWF. Even more strangely, locker room whispers suggest that wherever Haley goes, Crimson Storm follows shortly aferwards. Quite what this means, nobody knows. 10. JOE LATTA defeated THE CRIPPLER, despite the best efforts of one DAN KAUFFMAN. Latta's former friend came down to the ring and confronted him, but it wasn't enough to put Latta out of his rhythm. At the climax of a hard-fought match, Latta put the Crippler away with the Shotgun Suplex. 11. "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE narrowly defeated the "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI in a match which stole the show. From start to finish, this match was a showcase of both men's considerable talents, and the end came when Musashi attempted his incredibly high-risk Starsault Press which had the crowd on their feet. However, Shakespeare rolled out of the way at the last moment and hit the Curtain Call for the victory. These two men could face one another again in the semi-finals of the Cruiserweight Championship tournament. We'll find out whether that's going to happen this Saturday Night. 12. "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON may have scored a countout victory over the SUBWAY PSYCHO, but it wasn't entirely on his own merits. The People's Champion had brought Mench down to the ring with him, and the Outlaw J.W. Hardin perpetrated another heinous attack when he came down to the ring, knowing that the Psycho was trapped in Sexton's painful armbar, and decimated Mench, throwing him out of the arena. The Psycho eventually broke free from the hold, went for his Derailer, but saw the carnage in the aisle, and went after the Outlaw. Thus Sexton was victorious on countout, and the Outlaw's evil plans, whatever they might be, take another step towards fruition. Before we hear from the dastardly Outlaw, let's get Sexton's thoughts: [SCENE: Billy Sexton stomping around the IIWF interview area. He speaks:] "OH YEAH! Wednesday night baby was alright. The man that the ladies love -- and their boyfriends hate -- is still on the road to stardom, fame and fortune. It's only a matter of time till I get my title shot. Baby when I get that chance for the gold and win it. My oh my you thought Sexton was bad in the past well baby... it's time for a little wake up call. I have to go for now 'cause the ladies are waiting and their hot tonight. The Painbinger Billy Sexton is in town, and ladies i'm taking requests. OH YEAH!" [Fade] Now let's go to the Outlaw J.W. Hardin: [Fade in on an old cemetary at night. The fog is heavy and the few lights in the area silhouette the crosses and headstones. The camera weaves its way through the gravesites and comes to focus on one particular headstone marked "J.W. Hardin IV . . . RIP" An open casket sits beneath the stone and the body of the Outlaw J.W. Hardin lies within the coffin. As the camera moves into a tight shot of the Outlaw's face, his eys open and reveal the blackness within. He slowly sits up.] JWH: Is this your vision, Deathbringer? Is this the best you can do? Save your tricks for those who believe them because we both know that the stakes are much higher than mere death. Others concern themselves with wins and losses. They chase championship belts. Ah, but we . . . we know the true prize. You expect a war of good versus evil in the IIWF? That war is already being fought, Deathbringer . . . and your side is losing. Look around you. Casey James has discovered his black heart. Brian Lau continues to run the federation. The Dark Knights shall destroy the Family. The Senate and the Posse add to your nightmares. Look at the newcomers to the IIWF: Prisoner #109, "Badboy" Randy Acorn, and Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven. These men know what it means to maim an opponent. But it is one individual in particular whom you should fear, Deathbringer, the man who holds the key to your... secrets. [Hardin raises his hand and a lightning bolt streaks through the night sky. Through the fog, the outline of a solitary figure stands in the distance at the edge of the cemetary. A bright light appears behind the figure and casts him in an eerie backlit glow. Hardin speaks again:] The voice I heard in the storm . . . the face I saw . . . was real. Look around you now, Deathbringer. Who can you trust? Kauffman? The Subway Psycho? The Coroner? Yes, it has long been predicted that darkness would one day engulf the earth and chaos would reign supreme -- not only in this world but on every plane. That day is near. [Hardin points to a nearby headstone and a familiar scene flashes onto it. It is a wrestling ring around which lie the bodies of many wrestlers and officials. Others are still fighting, using chairs, the timekeeper's bell and other foreign objects. All hell breaks loose as some fans jump over the steel barrier and enter the ring. It is the same image that Deathbringer displayed in the water to Tim Dross. Hardin continues:] Deathbringer, you long to destroy the roots of evil before this scene occurs? The roots are widespread now and run much deeper than even you can imagine. You accuse me of betraying myself, but for the first time in my life I have accepted who . . . and what I am. I have removed my mask and can now look upon the face of evil. I fear no man. I fear no creature. I do not fear you, Deathbringer. For so it is written that the battle be waged [he points at the scene on the tombstone] . . . then so it shall be. [The scene on the stone suddenly goes dark, replaced by a glow that illuminates the writing on the rock: "Deathbringer . . . RIP". Fade.] However, in the aftermath of this terrible attack, a fan who was in attendance in the Coliseum on Wednesday Night contacted the IIWF front office and made a request: the fan, who wishes to remain nameless, wishes to have the Psycho presented with a special "People's Champion" award this Saturday Night, to show him how much he is loved by the great fans of the IIWF. The front office agreed, and tomorrow night it will be my privelege to present the Psycho with this award. Although it can't make up for the upset he has suffered because of the Outlaw's attack, hopefully the realisation that he is still in the hearts and minds of the fans will be of some comfort to him. Let's take a look at what else we'll be seeing this Saturday Night: IIWF Saturday Night - 31 August 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Coliseum will rock once more tomorrow night as we launch into another evening of entertainment as only the IIWF can provide. Let's run down the card and take a look at each match in turn: Magus vs. Crimson Storm [D] On paper, this looks a terrible mismatch. Magus is a huge, dangerous competitor, weighing in at more than 300lbs, and possessing strength that is put to good use with his high-impact attacks. Crimson Storm, on the other hand, is the high-flying light heavyweight. He could win the match if he is able to keep out of Magus' way, but as soon as Magus manages to slow Storm down, I suspect that the match will go in the way of the lunatic. Speaking of the lunatic, let's hear from him now: [SCENE: Magus pacing the IIWF interview area.] Magus: This isn't about winning or losing anymore.... I could care less about victory! NOON IS SAFE ANYMORE!! The wrestlers in the IIWF are starting to annoy me... except for a few people. But anyway, you're all PATHETIC!! No one poses a threat to me anymore.... EVERYONE NOW MUST WATCH THEIR BACKS!!!!! If you come to me with a deal, I will break your arm. If you come to me wishing to fight, I will break your arm... you must all be prepared, for Armeggedon is coming.... and it will come very shortly... THE APOCALYPSE IS NOW!!!!!! [Fade] Law & Disorder vs. Heavy Metal [D] Law & Disorder have been fairly quiet as of late here in the IIWF, but they have broken their silence and want to get back in the ring: [SCENE: Marshall Law and Ace Maverick in the IIWF interview area.] ML: Armed Forces, we challenge you to a rematch. AM: Because you are champs now... ML: Let's make it a non-title match. AM: But we want a No-DQ match. ML: Law & Disorder is here with a purpose... AM: And we will overcome DefCon and NavCom. ML: We will. AM: And we will get a match with the High Plains Drifters. ML: We must. AM: Hell hath no fury like... ML: Law & Disorder! [Fade] They may have targeted the Armed Forces, but tomorrow night they must face another pair of title hopefuls: the Steele twins of Heavy Metal. Law & Disorder are no strangers to facing big men, but whether they can stand up to the incredible power of Atlas and Apollo remains to be seen. We'll find out tomorrow night. A victory for either of these teams will elevate them up the rankings towards title contention. Stunt Team USA vs. The Final Truth [D] The number two ranked team in the IIWF, Stunt Team USA, are keen to become the number one ranked team, and they have been looking for the services of a manager to help their progress. They promised that they would reveal just who they have chosen to guide them in today's update. Let's hear from Ron and Steve now: [SCENE: Ron and Steve stand in front of the entrance to the Warner Bros. movie park. Hundreds of visitors pass through the gates, not few of them turn their heads towards STUSA, some even ask for autographs. As Ron and Steve notice the camera, they begin to speak:] SF: Yo, brothers, on Tuesday we told you to reveal our new manager. And that is exactly what we're just about to do now. However, he is not here yet, so we have to wait a couple of minutes. RF: This gives us the opportunity to speak to you, Force-Boys: Ya think ya're so great, ya that ya can beat 'em all. Well, you did, but how, that's the question. Last time you beat us after using that club of yours. This will not happen again. Our new manager'll prevent such cheating by any means. This man will really do anything possible to prevent you from jumping us from behind. He knows all the _tricks_ in this game [he looks to the right, as a tall figure enters the scene, wearing a star spangled robe, having a magician like quarterstaff in his hands] And here he come, the mastermind of them all, "The Wizard" Belgarath McEndeavour! BM: Greetings, noble knights. Ron, art thou still training with heart and compassion? And you as well, wanderer Steve?" RF & SF: Well, of course, Wizard! BM: This shall please me for today, but you must work harder than ever. Thou, Steve, shall work for a blacksmith to increase your strength while you, Ron, shall go out into the forest and learn the art of the bow to raise your concentration. RF: Well, ya mean we shall train in a gym, don't ya? BM: If this was what I meant, wouldn't I've said it? No, knights, follow my advice and you will climb the throne, wear the crown and rule the land. Under my guidance, you will smother them all. Train well, knights... [with these words he walks off the screen] RF: Uh, well, his former tag teams said he had unusual training methods, but... SF: Hey, we've go no time to lose. Now don't stand around here, let's get to work!" RF: [pointing at the gates behind them] But I thought we wanted... SF: No, Ron, the times of fun are over. Let's fulfill our mission to capture those belts!" RF: Okay, let's do it! SF and RF: CUT! [Fade as they walk off the screen in different directions] Things just keep getting stranger and stranger here in the IIWF... a pair of stuntmen with a Wizard for a manager... Sabin Figaro and Bob Hansen have yet to make a big impact on the tag team scene here in the IIWF; they are rarely seen outside the rings, and seem to take little interest in the fans of the league. The front office is said to be unhappy with their commitment, so whether we will see a quick departure for this pairing is very much dependent on their performances over the next week or two. Man Of Steel vs. Blackjack Haley [D] The Man Of Steel is through to the semi-finals of the Cruiserweight tournament, but before he can think about his match with the Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw, he must face the huge giant, Blackjack Haley, who continues to be just as unpredictable as ever. Steel had better be prepared for every eventuality, and he'll have his burly friend, Bibbo Bibowski, at ringside for this match. A wise precaution, given that nobody knows exactly what Haley is going to do next. Prisoner #109 vs. "Painbringer" Billy Sexton [D] Last week, Prisonder #109 ended the IIWF career of "Frost" Scott Morrison... what can he do to "Painbringer" Billy Sexton? Sexton has been very impressive here as late, and has notched up quite a winning streak. He's looking for a shot at the Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw, and after a couple more victories, he'll be well-placed to face him. However, getting past the huge ex-con might prove a task bigger than Sexton is capable of. We'll find out how hungry the Painbringer is tomorrow night. P109, on the other hand, wants to face one of the IIWF's other newcomers, one "Badboy" Randy Acorn: [SCENE: Prisoner #109 in the IIWF interview area.] P109: Listen up... I hate rookies.. I am coming after you rookies. I am going to destroy you "Badboy" Randy Acorn. You need to go stick a sock in it. 'Cause when you step in the ring with me this Wednesday, you ain't going to have no chance. You got that? _I_ am a Bad Boy. You little girl.. I am going to fight. [Fade] Joe Latta vs. The Sandman There's no love lost between these two individuals. The Syndicate and the Dark Knights seem to have forgotten last Saturday's incident during which they worked together against the fan favourites of the IIWF, and have returned to their petty squabbles. Latta cost the Sandman a victory in midweek, and the Sandman will attempt to return the favour at first hand this Saturday Night. Another factor to be considered is the volatile nature of Dan Kauffman, who not only showed that he has a mean streak last week in the ring, but also came down to the ring on Wednesday night and tried to cost Latta the match. He's not scheduled for action tomorrow night, but he could very well be in the Coliseum, and if he is -- Latta had better watch out. However, he and the rest of the Syndicate deny that the intention on Wednesday night was to cost the Sandman a match: [SCENE: Office of the Dojo. The gang's all here. There's a contractor type laying a carpet.] BL: [To the carpet layer] I can't believe how incompetent you people are... Do you know how long ago this was all supposed to be done? Do you realize that I've been working here on bare floor for weeks? Do you have any idea who I am? Guy: Listen... Why don't you get outta my face and let me do my job? BL: Oh, you'll do a job, all right... I ought to throw you out the window or something... Get out of here... Now. Guy: Fine. I get paid anyway... I'm in a union... BL: Fat American bastards... Where I'm from I'd be allowed to cane you into a fine mush... KT: Ummm, Brian? Brian... We're on here... BL: Sorry, Kenny... I really hate the people in this country... Anyway, I've got some things to say... Looks like there's a whole lot going on in the IIWF lately... Lots of new faces. There's Otto Verhoeven, who is definitely someone to look out for... There's Randy Acorn. A man who is an island... He may find problems with that philosophy... And there's Chris Quigley. A friend of Dan Kauffman's. Joe, you're our resident expert on Dan and his friends, what do you think? JL: Well, I guess it's true what they say... Birds of a feather flock together. Both these guys have such big mouths that I'm afraid to be around them for fear of suffocating from all the hot air. Quigley, you go on about all these other feds you're in, and all the belts you hold. Listen to me, because I'm just going to say this once. This is the IIWF. This isn't some kindergarten class. You may have played with all those little nothing men out there, but you haven't experienced combat the way it's fought here. You have never met Tiger Claw in the ring. For that matter, you've never encountered Casey James, here, or Hakiro Matsuoko. And you've never had to handle the new and improved Joe Latta... Belts in other feds are just so many trinkets. Here, in the IIWF, these titles mean something. There's a lot of bad men around, so you'd better keep in line or you might get hurt... KT: Joe, what about your presence at the Sandman/Lebec match? What were you doing? JL: I have no idea... It just felt like something to do... KT: I see. What about the alliance? BL: Let me answer that... You see, the Dark Knights have been a little slow in accepting the alliance the Outlaw J.W. Hardin has proposed. I asked Joe to think of some way to make the alliance a little more, how shall I say, appealing. Let me tell you something, IIWF, if you're not standing by our side, you're standing in our way, and we'll run you down just like we did the Subway Psycho. KT: Comments on the tournament, guys? HM: We're almost all the way through the first round of the tournament, and the Syndicate has two men in the semi-final round. This has stemmed a lot of speculation as to what would happen if Tiger Claw and I were to meet in the end. It's simple. We would compete in the ring just as we compete in training. We're not afraid to fight each other. There's no anger involved, just professional pride. We both would like that belt, and either of us having it would be an honour to this house. I'll be fighting Dan Kauffman in the next matches, and Tiger Claw will be fighting Man of Steel. Interesting, is it not? CJ: Better believe it, my man. Isn't it interesting that Man of Steel crosses the path of the Syndicate again. If I didn't hurt you enough in that street fight, then Tiger Claw will happily finish the job for me. I've never met a man so small physically that had such a large amount of skill and talent... Tiger Claw can whip MY ass, Man of Steel, so just think what he can do to you. Of course, you've got this buddy of yours, Bilbo Baggins or whatever, at ringside. Well, prehaps I should come down to ringside as well to make sure there's no foul play... You remember how good I am at that, don't you? KT: Any other goals for the Syndicate, Brian? BL: Well, there's been some talk about the IC title, and one person who's caught my attention with his talk is Billy Shakespeare... You'll remember we had some dealings in the past with this man, and I want to make things perfectly clear. Shakespeare, I'm going to give you a shot, even though at one time I found you unworthy. This will once and for all prove that you weren't meant to wear this belt, as Tiger Claw will beat you like he should have done long ago. There's no way you can stop this juggernaut that is called the Syndicate. We're going as champs straight into Ring Wars II. You all remember how well the last Ring Wars was for the Syndicate. This one will be even better. JL: Yeah, maybe this time we can force Kauffman out of the ring for good. KT: There you have it, folks. That's all the time we have for now, so for the Syndicate, this is Kenny Tanaka saying so long everyone! [Fade] Marty Warnett vs. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec Marty Warnett is keen to cast aside the stigmas of being what he would call a "rocker", and he's determined to show that he's all business in the ring as well tomorrow night, as he goes up against the "Showstopper" Simon Lebec. Let's hear from Warnett now: [SCENE: Marty in a gym, bench pressing 350lbs whilst talking.] "Verhoeven ... Butcher? More like brawling Bavarian Bratwurst ... round mound of sound, it ain't over yet ... I've realised that there are too many monsters in this fed - relying on power rather than skill. So, guys, you want to go back to basics, I'm going to start laying down a kick-ass bass sound that's going to echo around the IIWF. A drumbeat so powerful it shakes the best. A screaming guitar, the torturous sound of the training, effort and desire that'll take me to the top... ninety-nine ..... aaarrrgghh, one hundred. [He sits up and rubs his face with a towel.] "I've got to raise my game one hundred percent. This ain't American Gladiators. If this means the partying's postponed, so be it - the sacrifices are worth it. The endless hours in the gym will pay off later in life anyway - I'm not going to turn from Michael "P.S" Hayes to Dok "B.S" Hendrix. "Simon LeBec, the new attitude starts this Saturday. You and me, mano y mano. I wanna rock, your head's gonna roll. Forget the phony awards, and get your gameface on, bring it to me. Outlaw Hardin - I went to wrestling school with Nifty Ned ... so the guy wasn't a superstar, but he was a damn good worker, and a damn good friend. Right now, you put a damper on his party, like an overbearing parent, and he's in a pretty bad way. You wanted to make an example of him, for your own reasons, one day we will meet, and Revenge is a pretty good motivator - although not one of Kiss' best albums ... I've never heard of the Anti-Christ being a cowpoke, aren't you supposed to be called Damian? Acorn - you seem like a bad, ahem, seed. DON'T, I repeat, DON'T mess with the fans, they are the IIWF. "Ring Wars II is approaching, and I guess everybody's jockeying for position on the card. It seems something big's going to go down, and I guess the sneak attacks are going to be fast and furious. I don't know if I'll be on the card, but the Hoosier Dome would be a great place to start the rolling party up the rankings to the title. "I want to thank all you fans for the support and welcome you showed me on Wednesday, with y'all you Partymaniacs behind me, we're headed to the top - enjoy! My aim, as always, fans, is to Rock and Roll all night ... and kick ass every day! Now get out of my face ... [Adds another 50lbs of weight] "..one ... two ... three ..." [Fade as Warnett continues his training.] Lebec would be wrong to cast aside Warnett's challenge so lightly. Lebec is certainly an impressive athlete, but Warnett showed in his match with Otto Verhoeven on Wednesday Night that he's no slouch between the ropes either. Lebec must be prepared for a real fight, because that's what he's going to get tomorrow night. Interestingly, though, one Billy Shakespeare seems to have an interest in this match. An invitation from Mr. Shakespeare to Lebec's valet, Miss Crystal, arrived at the Control Centre this morning, reading: -- [on a beautiful engraved piece of stationary] To: Miss Crystal care of IIWF Report Control Centre Dear Ms. Crystal, Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: I have noticed that with each passing day, Mr. Lebec's parts keep getting smaller. His ability to perform diminished. Surely, you deserve better. There is always room for two in the spotlight. Sincerely; B. Shakespeare -- Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. The Crippler The Butcher must be one of the most dangerous men to enter the IIWF for some time. The Teutonic athlete is a staunch defender of his home nation, and he's out to prove Germany's superiority in the world of wrestling. The Crippler is the next American athlete who is to defend this country's name against Verhoeven, but he's probably more concerned about defending himself against the vicious assaults of the Butcher, which strongly betray his pro-boxing background. The Crippler has got to try and outrun Verhoeven, out-pacing him. If he fails, however, he faces the same fate that Warnett faced in midweek: the Meat Hook chokeslam. =================================================== IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT MATCHES: =================================================== "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare The last matches in the first round of the Cruiserweight Championship Tournament go down tomorrow night, and fans can expect two more fantastic, high-flying, high-speed matches, of the same calibre we have already seen. Chris Quigley is a more methodical mat wrestler than the high-flying "Enigma", but these two should put on a classic encounter as Quigley attempts to slow Musashi down, and Musashi attempts to finish things quickly with his high-impact offence. Let's get Musashi's comments on the challenge that awaits him: [SCENE: The Enigma is outside a Buddhist monastery, various monks are sitting around in prayer positions watching and meditating. "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, the Enigma's manager, is setting up a contraption which holds three blocks of rock solid ice, each six inches thick, at about head height. The Enigma holds his hands in a prayer position and recites a Japanese mantra about an ancient warrior code of honour. When he looks up he appears to be in a trance-like state, his eyes focus on the blocks. Suddenly he leaps into the air, screams out a war cry and delivers a mighty spinning kick to the blocks of ice, amazingly they all shatter into millions of pieces under the impact. The Enigma turns towards the camera and bows in Samurai style....] TM: I, the Enigma, was involved in the most intense battle of my life last Wednesday night. Billy Shakespeare, I battled you to the limit and still you came right back at me. You are a courageous warrior, and you have earned my respect. But, inevitably it is our destiny to clash again, the Cruiserweight tournament is upon us, the stage is set for a struggle of cosmic proportions! I studied you closely in our last battle, and I believe I have spotted a flaw in your style, I have been granted the insight necessary to triumph over you in ultimate victory! But first I see I must face another mighty warrior, a legend of the wrestling rings, a man who has held titles all over the World, the man of which I speak is `Quickstrike' Chris Quigley. Quigley, without a doubt you are a great technical wrestler and you have fought wrestlers from the Orient before, but you have never faced an adversary like The Enigma. When we do battle next Saturday night in the first round of the Cruiserweight tournament, it will be a titanic struggle. But it will be a struggle from which the Enigma will emerge unscathed, as the spirits of my ancestors would pass through bloody battle in victory! Quickstrike, after overcoming a warrior such as yourself my legend will ascend to epic proportions! With my arms raised in triumph, I will go on to conquer the entire wrestling world! DMcQ: That's right, Daddy-O! Quigley, you greasy haired fool, you're ancient history pal! You're living in the past man! All those other titles you won don't mean cr*p, this is the IIWF, the toughest league in the game and I don't think you've got the talent to succeed. The Enigma's star is on the rise baby, and nothing is gonna stand in his way! Oh, and one more thing. If that gimp Sparkplug Lee calls Takezo Musashi "the Enema" again I'll have my man blast him with the reverse savate kick! On second thoughts, maybe I'll deal with him myself, I was a pretty good welterweight boxer several years ago y'know! And Becky Larue.... you can dish out all the insults ya want, I just know ya want a real man like me, baby! [Fade] Billy Shakespeare, on the other hand, must face the cocky and mean Randy Acorn. Can the one who was "Born to Perform" outperform the "Badboy"? We'll find out tomorrow night, although Acorn is in no doubt of the outcome already: [SCENE: Randy Acorn standing in the middle of an IIWF ring. There's a spotlight shining down on him and a huge, confident grin on his face. He stares into the camera, lets out a chuckle and then begins to speak:] RA: Billy Shakespeare, you like the spotlight, right?? Well step into my ring, the spotlight of my career. You see, I can use alot of holds against you, or I could try to overpower you, but no, I think I'll just combine everything to give you an old-fashioned @$$-whipping. Don't think just because I'm new, you're going to have fun with me because if you walk in thinking that, I assure you that it will turn around to be the opposite. Shakespeare?? Wasn't there some dick writer who used to use that name?? Wasn't it like Wil....no, Te....no, I know, Willy Wacker Shakespeare. He wrote those famous books like Oh hello, and Hamalot. Didn't he write Midsummer's Night Beatoff?? Yes, I'm sure that's your personal favorite. [Randy jumps onto the top rope with little problem and then does a backflip off it. He then slides out of the ring, runs around and slides into the opposite side. He then stands up with a smug expression on his face.] Don't think for one second that you're going to try to outrun me, which I'm sure your first thought will be when we first lock up and I throw you on your @$$. That's okay though, I assure you that if you're man enough to stay in the ring with me for at least a few minutes, I'll try to make you look good and pin you mercifully. I'm sorry, I may not know you and you may think I've passed judgment way to soon but I know me and I'm a bad@$$. That title will soon be mine. [Randy just stands there as the screen fades to black] ========================================= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ========================================= Tiger Claw vs. Prince of Darkness Tiger Claw will make his first defence of the Intercontinental Championship belt that he won before Midsummer Madness tomorrow night as he goes up against the Prince of Darkness. This match promises to be a classic speed vs. power battle, although I wouldn't be surprised to see the rest of the Syndicate and the Dark Knights on hand as the temperature between these two stables rises. ======================================= No Countout, No Disqualification Match: ======================================= The Hangman vs. Fisto Flash Fisto Flash demanded this match, and the Hangman, who is very much at home in this type of encounter, was only too glad to accept. These two powerhouses have been building up something of a rivalry in recent weeks, and I don't see this match putting an end to their dispute; rather, this match can only escalate the situation. With the no disqualification stipulation in this match, don't expect this one to be a wrestling match: it's going to be an all-out brawl. Wear your riot gear for this encounter, folks. Let's hear from the dangerous Hangman: [SCENE: The Hangman sitting in a chair. The chair is on the platform of the Hangman's gallows. Swinging next to him is a figure suspended from the highest cross-member of the gallows. The figure has a Hangman's Noose around his neck.] TH: Well my friends, as you can see I have taken a little time out to take care of a little unfinished business. Sometimes I have to fill in for my fellow Hangman and do what I do second best. We all know what I do best and that is Wrestle. However this does soothe my soul. There seem to be some things that need clearing up. As I told you, Mr. Dross, there is no dissent in the ranks of the Senate. The Senator is here and maybe he is behind you. He has been busy, but then again we all have other lives. Mr. Dross I hope you have more then one also. Now a few observations on the goings and comings in the IIWF. Outlaw you and I seem to have the same goals in mind. I may have a proposal for you. Have Mr. Wales get in touch, and we shall see. Robski, you think you are real smart don't you. Well sir, Stupid is more like it. I think that you need to feel what a real neck injury feels like. Robski be prepared, I have a noose with your name on it.... [Camera pans to a noose hanging next to the swinging figure] TH: Now let's see, I have heard of another challenge from Fisto. He says there are three thing I should not do. I for one have never let a challenge go by unanswered. So, I guess a little demonstration by The Senator and myself is in order... [Both The Senator and The Hangman are now standing in front of the gallows] TH: Fisto, watch closely... [The Senator, who is about six feet away from The Hangman, unleashes a Purple Fireball at The Hangman's face. The Hangman laughs and puts up a bare hand and deflects the Fireball at the still swinging figure. The figure immediately bursts into flames.] TH: Fisto, so much for playing with fire. Do you think fire scares me or any members of the SENATE? Guess again. [The Senator hands The Hangman a vial. The Camera pans in and we see the label marked with the words poison.] TH: Fisto... another demonstration for your benefit. [The Hangman drinks the vial and smiles] Fisto, one can play with poison and fire, if one has The Senator and his mentor The Wizard [Camera pans to a dark figure standing in the shadows of the gallows.] on his side. Now I think by our little actions I have taken care of the third item on your list. Fisto you have been DISSED. [The Senator heads towards the dark figure in the shadows. Both men leave the area laughing unconcernedly.] TH: Fisto you want a no DQ, No Countout Match. You want to play with the man who puts people out of this sport. Then play with no rules. Remember it is hard to submit with a noose around your throat. [Camera goes black, and a Hangman's Noose appears glowing against the darkness.] ======================================= IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ======================================= Armed Forces vs. High Plains Drifters Some say that the Armed Forces didn't deserve to win the tag team gold last Saturday Night, claiming that if it hadn't been for Aaron the Caddy, the Drifters would still be the champions. That's as maybe, but tomorrow night, the dissenters will get their chance to prove themselves right, as the Drifters go out there to recapture the gold. They'd like nothing more than to make the Armed Forces the most short-lived IIWF champions to date, especially as the Forces seem to be so fond of statistics. Aaron the Caddy had better have a good plan up his sleeve tomorrow night, because the Drifters aren't going to be denied that easily a second time. What a match this promises to be! Let's hear from the Champions: [SCENE: the Omaha Civic Auditorium. NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, are in the ring with two jobbers. The jobbers are dressed like cowboys, apparently in an attempt to parallel the High Plains Drifters. Aaron the Caddy watches on the outside, as he shines up the IIWF World Tag Team Titles...] Aaron: Good, good. That's right, work the leg. Remember, this guy is supposed to be tough, like the Drifters, not like this jobber. [After a couple of minutes, the Armed Forces quit toying with the jobbers and land their double finisher. They record the pinfall and exit the ring.] Aaron: Good match, guys. You're ready for your first title defense, which I understand may be soon. Who gets the first shot? NavCom: Well, I think we should go with Stunt Team. They gave us a good match, and they beat us at Midsummer Madness. I think they deserve a title shot. DefCon: I say we go with a rematch. The Drifters did us a favor, giving us a shot, and so now I say we return it. Only, this time, the champs will walk in... and out... with the titles. Aaron: Well, I don't care who we whale on first. We're an equal opportunity team. We don't discriminate, we'll beat 'em all. Bring it on. [Aaron's phone rings. He answers it, and engages in a 5 minute conversation with President Spreadbury.] Aaron: OK, guys. The decision has been made for us. That was President Dan, and he says that we're all set for this Saturday Night, against the High Plains Drifters!! DefCon: Oh, yeah. We loved beatin' them last Saturday, and we're gonna make it a habit. NavCom: Drifters, listen up. Over the past week, we've lived the life of champions. Whenever we walk out the front door, onto Dodge Street, people all see us on the way to the limo, and say "Oh my God! There they are, the World Champions!" Then they usually either: 1. Faint; 2. Ask for our autographs. And that's a great feeling. And that's a feeling we want for a long, long, time. We realize your hungry, wanting the titles back. We know you're looking for a piece of the spotlight. But, boys, you're not gonna use OUR spotlight. Aaron: We beat you 1-2-3 in the center of the ring last week, and don't think that it won't happen again!!! DefCon: Allow me to share a little with you regarding IIWF Saturday Night. We made our debut on Saturday Night, an easy win. We beat Stunt Team on Saturday Night, an easy win. And we won the World Tag Team Titles right here, on IIWF Saturday Night. The Forces have never lost a match on this program, and we're not about to start this week, either. Oh, and another stat to pass along to you. Since our arrival, we've never been pinned, and we've never submitted. Our only loss was by DQ. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but, I think you need a pinfall or submission to regain the titles....ha ha ha. NavCom: Stunt Team, thanks a lot! We owe it all to you! You started us off in this league by jobbing to us on Saturday Night! It was supposedly our first win over "quality" competition! Well, you weren't quality, but the championship committee must have thought so! So, after we polish off the Drifters, we'll give you a shot at the belts in return, only, trust me on this one, we WON'T be doing you a favor. DefCon: Rumor is that they've got a new "manager". Ha. I'll bet. I wonder how he'll "manage" to take you two losers anywhere. Aaron: It's simple guys. If you want a title shot, forget the championship committee. If we think you're worthy, our people will contact your people. If we don't call you, you're not worthy of these babies... [Camera pans down to the IIWF World Tag Team Titles.] DefCon: Drifters, come and get 'em. [Fade] On top of all that incredible action, we'll have the special presentation of the Subway Psycho's "People's Champion" award. All in all, it promises to be another great night of wrestling entertainment! Don't forget to tune in, live tomorrow night! IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We now know who will be in two of the three semi-finals in this great tournament, and tomorrow night we'll find out just who will be in the third. Let's take a look at the current standings: First Round Semi-finals Finals [ Dan Kauffman ]-. |-[ Dan Kauffman ]-. [ Bob Hansen ]-' | |-[ Finalist ] [ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-. | |-[ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-' [ Simon Lebec ]-' [ Man Of Steel ]-. |-[ Man Of Steel ]-. [ Pale Rider ]-' | |-[ Finalist ] [ Tiger Claw ]-. | |-[ Tiger Claw ]-' [ Crimson Storm ]-' [ Chris Quigley ]-. |-[ Winner ]-. [ Takezo Musashi ]-' | | [ B. Shakespeare ]-. |-[ Finalist ] |-[ Winner ]-' [ Randy Acorn ]-' We'll see the first two semi-finals on Midweek Mayhem this coming Wednesday 4 September, and the third next Saturday Night. The finals will be spread over the following week, as each man faces each other. The competition is really beginning to hot up, and we're now only two weeks away from the crowning of the first ever IIWF Cruiserweight Champion. Newcomers ~~~~~~~~~ Earlier this week, news reached me of another newcomer who has reportedly agreed terms to join the IIWF. I was sent to meet a gentleman going by the name of Bishop Right yesterday: [SCENE: Tim Dross stands in a deserted churchyard.] TD: I've been invited to this old church by a man named Bishop Right. He claims that he has some news for me regarding the mysterious Archangel. BR: Over here, Mr. Dross, I've been expecting you. TD: Now I hear you have some news for me about the Archangel. As of yet nobody's seen him. He hasn't even wrestled yet. BR: Well, Archangel will make his appearance soon. Till then he wants me to warn Prince of Darkness of his impending doom at the hands of the Archangel. TD: Why Prince of Darkness? BR: Archangel's one true goal is to wipe out evil in the world. To him Prince of Darkness is the epitome of such. [A light shines in the sky and then dims.] BR: See, he is on his way. TD: Anything else? BR: To the Deathbringer, Archangel says he'll be your friend. [Bishop Right disappears. Fade] I don't know anything about this Archangel, but the Prince of Darkness probably ought to be concerned with finding something out. News also reaches me of a new tag team on its way to the IIWF, known as the Aces of the Deep: [SCENE: A black screen.] Voice: A new power is coming to IIWF... A new team who will dominate their competition... They come from no place in earth... They come... from the depths!! [The screen is filled by an Aces of the Deep logo.] Voice: Aces of Deep... Shark and Piranha... Two men, one goal... The victory! [Shows Shark and Piranha fighting many pro wrestler in indy feds.] Voice: The Aces of Deep... Soon... in the IIWF!! Shark and Piranha: WE'RE GONNA MAKE YOU FLOOD!!! [Fade] We'll have more on this new pairing in our next Report. Special Interview: Dinner With the Don ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Earlier this week, I was flown out to Sicily, Italy, on the Family's Lear jet to have dinner with the Don. Let's go to the report: [SCENE: Dinner at the Antonio Estate in Sicily, Italy.] DA: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and once again welcome to Dinna Wit Da DON. There have been a lot of new developments in the IIWF that the Family would like to speak a little bit about. We have flown Tim Dross out here to interview us so that we can speak a little bit about what the fans want to know. TD: Good evening, gentlemen, and first I must say that this pasta is excellent. This is some of the greatest Italian food I have ever eaten. DA: Tim, don't thank me, thank Mama Antonio. When we told her that you would be flying in, the first thing she did was go to the market to get some food for you. You know, she's a big fan of yours. TD: In that case, thank you Mama Antonio, the food is excellent. Mama: Itsa nothing Tim. I lova ta cooka. Im sure you cana tell by the bigga boys here. TD: Okay, gentlemen, down to business. Salvatore Fiorello, you do seem to be looking in great shape. You have had a great recovery and it looks as if you've put on a few pounds of muscle as well. SF: That's right, Tim, I have been working out and eating a lot of mama's pasta. Apparently it has helped out extremely as you witnessed last Saturday. I'm glad to say that the longstanding feud with the Dark Knights is over and the Family came out on top. It just goes to show you that the good guys always win. The Sandman resorted to a lot of cheap tricks but I am no stranger to professional wrestling as you know and I showed him a thing or two. DA: Yes Tim, the Family did teach the Dark Knights a lesson that they'll never forget. The thing that the Sandman didn't realize is that it's not over until the DON says it's over. TD: Now Don Antonio, what are your thoughts on your match with Brad Kinder. DA: My thoughts? I annhilated Mr. Brad Kinder. The man didn't know whose buttons he was pushing until all the marbles were laid out on the table. The ones in his head that is. VC: Dat's right. Da DON kicked his butt all ova da place. First a left den a right, oh man did I take notes from dat performance. Da DON was unbeleivable! TD: Ah Mr. Cappicola, any comments on your draw with the Prince of Darkness. VC: Yeah, I gots some comments! Da Prince a Darkness was only da secon guy ta give me a good match in da IIWF. Personally Tim, I tink I should of won but I must say my mind was a little unclear dat night. I was worryin about da matches later on wit da DON and the MOS. I promise you dat next time I will be focused. Ya see Tim, when you got da values we got, sometimes you put yourself second. Its sometimes necessary to put your frens first if ya know what I mean. TD: Speaking of the Man of Steel, what did you think of his match with Casey and his introduction of Bibbo? SF: The Man of Steel was robbed plain and simple. Once you put the Syndicate on the sidelines of any match you are going to have problems and this was no exception. As for Bibbo, the Family welcomes him to the IIWF and we think that he'll make a great contribution in keeping the scales in favor of justice. TD: Is there anyone that you gentlemen would like to face in the future? Any challenges you would like to make tonight? DA: It's funny you say that Tim because there is one challenge I'd like to issue to a wrestler and the IIWF. I have been in this league since its inception at Coronation Clash and have been steadily climbing the ranks but not once have I been offered a title match. President Spreadbury, Tiger Claw, the time has come. I demand a match for the belt against you Tiger Claw. I have seen worthless scum get countless shots at the title and I'm starting to get a bit upset. I defeated the former IC champ Kinder and he was beaten by Tiger Claw for the belt. Therefore, my name should be on the top of the list for a shot at the belt. IIWF, I await your decision. TD: Mr. Cappicola, do you have any views on who you'd like to meet in an upcoming match. VC: Frankly, I dont care but I wouldn't ming gettin a crack at dat Painbringa guy or Joe Lotta hype. While Im at it Tim, I 'd like to show dat Hitler wannabe a little about wrestlin or dat otha punk who keeps beatin up little kids. What's his name, geez shows ya how important he is in the league. TD: I understand you're concerned about your name not being entered as one of the suggested nominees in the Golden Grapple award for Best Manager, Sal? SF: I am quite upset about that Mr. Dross. You see, I felt that by showing the Family the error of their ways and bringing us all on the side of fairness and equity that I would be regarded as one of the most influential men in the IIWF, but once again I feel that the "agenda" of President Dan got in the way. Someone must have waved a twenty dollar bill in his face to keep me off the nomination list. Granted, the fans can vote for anyone, but the nomination list should be a good guide, and many fans will not go out of their way to pencil someone in while they're watching the Family restore justice in a live match. DA: Oh yeah, speaking of justice, do not forgot that we are the justice here. The Family will instil punitive damages, if you know what I mean, to any law breakers, so Outlaw J B C or whatever your initials are this week, stay out of trouble. That goes doubly for you Dark Knights. We defeated you handily but even Germany rose up again after WWI so don't get any ideas because you know what happened to them. Until next time ladies and gentlemen when we shoud be calling this program, Dinna Wit Da IC Champ, Da DON! Goodnight [Fade] IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 4 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's look ahead to next week's Mayhem. Here are the matches already signed for Wednesday's card: - IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINALS: = Dan Kauffman vs. Hakiro Matsuoko = Man Of Steel vs. Tiger Claw - Law & Disorder vs. High Plains Drifters - "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Brad "Bodybag" Kinder - Punster vs. Prince of Darkness - IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: = Deathbringer vs. Fisto Flash Let's hear from the IIWF Champion, Deathbringer, who has accepted the challenge of Fisto Flash for a shot at the World title: [SCENE: Deathbringer is inside his mortuary.] DB: Darkness is about to engulf the IIWF. [pause]. I cannot show you my graveyard right now for I have some preparations on my mind that are not quite finished yet. However, these will help me to clean this league once and for all. Maybe then some light will return this place. [again a pause as Deathbringer walks over to three caskets, all opened and empty] Syndicate... [out of nowhere he takes pictures of the Syndicate members, drop them into the first casket and closes it] Posse... [the same procedure] Dark Knights [same procedure again]... if you want to join forces then feel free to do so, but take care that you pick a leader for that force. Who should it be? Lau? The Sandman? Josey Wales? Or will it be you, Outlaw? Just whom can _you_ trust? I can see me surrounded by enemies, but so are you... Outlaw, you more and more become a shadow of yourself and you seem to like it. If I look at you, I can see rage and hate in your eyes. But I also the images of you as a child, who searches revenge for what your father did to you. You have to accept what happened and you have to understand that your way is the wrong one. But just keep on marching, marching to die. I will welcome you with open arms on the dark side, where I will show you the soul you think you do not possess. [Deathbringer leaves the room with the caskets before speaking on] But before we can solve our differences I would like to help Fisto Flash, who seems to have a few problems with me as well. Flash, you want a shot at the title. And you know that I never hide from any challenger. So you will get your chance. And you will learn to obey the reaper. Come prepared, bring everything you got, including that steel fist of yours. Though it might give you some self confidence it will not help you to survive. Crimson Death awaits you. Flash, prepare to meet your maker... [Fade] More matches will be added over the weekend, and I'll bring you the full line-up in Tuesday's update. IIWF Ring Wars II - 28 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yes, folks, it's official. The IIWF's next pay-per-view spectacular has been announced, and it will go down live in the massive outdoor Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana. No matches have been signed yet, but the IIWF President will begin to make announcements concerning the lineup next week. Stay tuned for further developments! The Dross Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The IIWF is currently seeing the largest influx of new talent since its inception back in May. In the past two weeks, we have seen no less than six new superstars enter the IIWF. In today's Dross Report, I'm going to take a look at these newcomers, and the impact they are likely to have on the established stars of the league. Let's begin with the big men: Prisoner #109 has already made a big impact here in the IIWF, trading his entrance for another wrestler's exit, sending "Frost" Scott Morrison packing in his debut last Saturday. Undoubtedly, P109 is a very dangerous competitor. His prison background has made him tough and mean, and the crimes for which he was convicted -- and he's still wanted in three states -- leave his opponents in no doubt that he loves hurting people. A powerful bone-bender, P109's most valued move is his mandible claw, a painful submission hold that can quickly incapacitate an opponent. The wrestler puts his fingers under the opponent's tongue, and focuses on a pressure point. This has the combined effect of sending sharp pains shooting throughout the opponent's body, and also making it very difficult for the opponent to breathe. In short, if P109 gets this move on you, it's good night, nurse. There's no known counter for this hold, so whether you're Dan Kauffman or Deathbringer, beware. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven is a similarly punishing athlete. His pro-boxing background and his fanatical devotion to his country appear to be his two biggest strengths. He is driven by a desire to prove Germany's indisputable superiority over the United States in every field, and his personal crusade is to destroy all American athletes. This drive fuels his ring performance, which is characterised by a concentration on the incapacitation of opponents. Verhoeven knows just the right spots to hit with his vicious body shots, and by concentrating on the rib and kidney area, Otto is able to do a great deal of damage in a short space of time. Once he has his opponent sufficiently winded, he is able to put him away in any number of ways; we've already seen the devastation of his Meat Hook second rope chokeslam, and you can bet that there are other holds he'll pull out of the bag in the weeks to come that will underline the danger this man presents to competitors like the current IIWF Champion, Deathbringer. From rumours currently circulating in the locker room, the mysterious Archangel makes Deathbringer, who stands at 6'10" and weighs in at well over 300lbs, look small. If this is true, and not just hyperbole on the part of the rumour-mongers, then this man is certain to make a big impact here in the IIWF. I don't know anything about him or manager, Bishop Right, but we are sure to find out more in the weeks to come. The remaining three men are smaller competitors, hovering around the 250lbs mark. First up is Marty Warnett, the Welshman who goes against the image of his countryfolk by proving himself not only to be a great grappler, but also a hard rocker. Let's get his comments now: [SCENE: Marty Warnett stands in the IIWF interview area, carrying his Fender Strat.] "Hey, Dross... You want to comment on the "Young Guns" entering the IIWF, don't forget the hottest of the lot! I dunno, I just don't get the respect, treated like a geek before even wrestling. Forget Jannetty, Michaels, Cassidy, Morton, Gibson and all the countless others who have bastardised the image of rock and roll in the name of cheap grappling publicity. "I don't rely on being a pretty boy, nice looking aerial moves - I wrestle, and don't forget it. I live the rock and roll life .... because I can, and I do. Van Hammer? Maxx Payne? Dig this ... [Plays kick ass version of Led Zeppelin's "Rock And Roll"] "Talkin about geeky gimmicks, I'm tired of this Underfaker, Supernatural spiritual Cowboy from Redneckville mumbo-jumbo. To paraphrase the Monkees, I'm not a believer. Let's just get it on ... Gold lies in my future, and I don't mean disks." [Fade] If Warnett is able to get a good string of wins under his belt, and can get the fans of the IIWF behind him, this confident young man could rise through the ranks and challenge for the Intercontinental Championship. Time will tell whether he has what it takes. Whereas time will tell what kind of potential Warnett possesses, we already know what kind of potential is fulfilled by "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, who has come to the IIWF to add to his already great collection of titles. While he is undoubtedly a fantastic technical wrestler who can mix it up in practically any style you care to mention, Quigley should remember that resting on your laurels is no guarantee of success in the IIWF. The IIWF's superstars will be unimpressed with tales of famous victories over athletes in other, lesser, organisations. If Quigley wants respect from other wrestlers here in the IIWF, he's going to have to earn it, and there would be few better ways than capturing the new IIWF Cruiserweight Tournament. He'll have to go through some of the IIWF's top names if he's going to be the first to wear the gold, including the Man Of Steel, Tiger Claw, Hakiro Matsuoko and Billy Shakespeare. Nonetheless, he is an early favourite in the tournament, and the fans are already behind him. We've barely begun to see what Quigley is capable of in the ring, and he is certainly a prospect for the future. Another great prospect is the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, the man who will become famous for a single move: his spectacular Starsault Press. This stunning triple somersault moonsault from the top rope is typical of Musashi's style: spectacular, high-flying, high-risk and breathtaking. This man is like perpetual motion in the ring, and he's another favourite for the Cruiserweight crown. Only narrowly defeated by Billy Shakespeare in midweek, Musashi displayed his huge potential in a classic encounter, and you can bet that there's plenty more to come from this man. His money-grabbing manager, "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, could prove to be a weakness, if he signs Musashi up for big-money matches that his man isn't ready for, but all I can see in Musashi's long-term future is success. The sixth, and final, newcomer to arrive is the cocky "Badboy" Randy Acorn. Having come up from the mean streets of New Jersey, Acorn certainly knows how to fight, and he's a fiercely competitive grappler. He possesses some tremendous high-impact manoeuvres, such as a wicked enzuigiri and a vicious German suplex. As well as possessing tremendous technical knowhow, Acorn is a real brawler, and he's tough to take down in a fist fight. Possibly his only weakness is his lack of aerial assault which generally characterises others in his weight class, but this isn't going to stop him succeeding; his confidence and his fighting spirit won't win him many friends in the crowd, but he doesn't need them. Folks, such an influx of talent hasn't hitherto been seen in the IIWF, but any one of these men could take the "Most Likely To Succeed" title. We'll see a whole lot more of them in coming weeks, and we'll find out just who has what it takes to make it here in the IIWF. I'll conclude merely by saying this: the IIWF's champions had better be on their guard. Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, that just about wraps it up for today, folks. I'll be back at you tomorrow night, along with my broadcast colleague "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, for another live dose of IIWF Saturday Night, and then there'll be another update from the Control Centre on Tuesday. Next week we'll have more news on newcomers to the IIWF, the first announcements concerning Ring Wars II, and more! Until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+