##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * IIWF Coliseum * 4 September 1996 [Opening graphics fade through to interior shots of the IIWF Coliseum. Fireworks explode high in the rafters of the arena, and the capacity crowd cheer as the shot pans down to the announcers' table, where Larry Morton and Becky LaRue stand.] LM: Welcome once again to the IIWF Coliseum, folks, for another dose of IIWF Midweek Mayhem! I'm Larry Morton, and beside me as always is the lovely Becky LaRue. Another great night's entertainment is in store for us. In tonight's main event, we'll have the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deathbringer, in action as he defends the gold against Fisto Flash. BL: But more importantly, we'll see the best the IIWF has to offer -- Brad "Bodybag" Kinder -- take on the worst the IIWF has to offer -- "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. The only thing quick about Quigley is the speed at which he opens his mouth to let all that hot air out. LM: That's not true at all, Becky. He's simply a confident competitor, and with good reason. You can't deny his credentials. BL: Are you kidding me? I was reading in the "National Enquirer" that Chris Quigley got that nickname of his from the women he's been with in his life. He might be able to wrestle in the ring all night, but he's a thirty second wonder between the sheets. LM: Come on, Becky. That's slander. Stop it, please. BL: The fans of the IIWF have a right to know the truth. LM: I couldn't agree more. So tell them some. BL: Okay... the IIWF Runt Championship tourna... LM: [interrupting] That's _Cruiserweight_ Championship tournament, Becky. BL: Whatever you call these excuses for men, Kauffman and the Man In Tights are cruising for only one thing tonight: defeat at the hands of the Syndicate. LM: That remains to be seen. Dan Kauffman battles former IC champ, Hakiro Matsuoko, and Steel takes on the current Intercontinental champ, Tiger Claw. Steel wanted the IC belt put on the line in tonight's semi-final, but Lau was having none of it. BL: You can't look me in the eye and tell me that Steel is a bona fide challenger to the Intercontinental Championship, Larry. LM: No, because when people look into your eyes they turn to stone... eerk.... heel... foot.... aaaarrrgghhhh.... BL: Anyway, we'll also see two more runts in action as the medical wonder, the world's first walking enema, Takezo Musashi, takes on Crimson Storm. The sartorial nightmare, the Punster, will also be in action, taking on the Prince of Darkness, and we'll see the High Plains Drifters hang Flaw & Dyssentry out to dry. You okay there, Larry? [mock surprise] Oh, sorry! I didn't realise I was grinding my heel into your foot! How careless of me! LM: Aaak... Of course not, Becky. I ought to get paid danger money for being out here with you week after week. BL: That's rich, coming from a guy who shares his name with one of the Three Stooges. Paying you danger money would be like insuring the Titanic against flood damage. LM: Okay, okay. Enough of the sparkling repartee. All in all, we've got some tremendous live action coming up for you tonight, fans. But before we get to our first match, let's run down the results of the encounters we've already seen here tonight: - We got our first look at the ACES OF THE DEEP, Sam "Shark" Summers and Peter "Piranha" Pouls, as they battled the ROTUNDOS. The overweight athletes were no match for the men from Depth City, and they fell to the Death on the Deep elbow smash combination. What do you think of these newcomers, Becky? BL: I can't quite get my head around their motto, Larry. "We're going to make you... _flood_?!" These guys are just too weird for me. LM: Well, they clearly aren't too weird for the crowd, who gave them quite a reception. Shark is the high-flier of the pair, and Piranha is the powerhouse. Together they make quite a team. BL: They look to me like they'll be _fin_ished as soon as they get in the ring with a real team like the High Plains Drifters, Larry. LM: Oh, yes, very amusing, Becky. Moving on: - "ROYALTY OF THE STREET" SABIN FIGARO wrestled his first singles match here in the IIWF, and was quite impressive against MAJESTIC MAURICE McARTHUR. He finished him off with an inverted atomic drop, and his "Bum rush", a devastating punching fury. BL: Who cares about that, Larry? What matters is that after the match, that stinking gutter-licker got on the microphone and started badmouthing my main man, Brad Kinder. LM: And yet Kinder didn't come out here to shut Figaro up, Becky. BL: He's busy preparing for his match with Quigley, Larry. Besides, why would he waste his time with a piece of trash like Figaro? LM: It sounds to me like Figaro is scouting the competition, looking for the athletes who can give him a real fight. He wants Kinder in the ring. Moving on: - CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES ended the winning streak of "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON with his devastating Black Death twisting spinebuster slam. However, had it not been for the arrival of Tiger Claw at ringside, the story might have been different. Sexton tumbled over the ropes, and Lau immediately jumped to the apron to distract the official. Tiger Claw then held Sexton while Casey executed his vicious "Blackheart punch", a blow that can practically paralyse an opponent. Casey then took Sexton back into the ring and hit the Black Death for the win. You just know that Billy Sexton's even more determined to wrest the IC belt away from Tiger Claw now. BL: Sexton just lost to Blackheart. I don't see Brian Lau giving him any title shots for the forseeable future. LM: The "Painbringer"'s record speaks for itself. He's going to want another shot at the Syndicate, and he's going to want it soon. The Family are also here tonight. Vinny Cappicola's already been in action. Let's get comments from him, made before his match with Mr. Damage earlier on tonight: [Vinny Cappicola is seen in the locker room preparing for his match with Mr. Damage. He is holding the letter sent to him by his opponent.] VC: Hmmm... Vinny Cafe blah blah blah ....linguine blah blah ... Mr. Damage. Hmm... Sal, who da heck is dis Mr. Brain Damage Guy? Anyways, it won't be too long until he becomes anotha notch in my win column. All right, I won't lie Damage, I've been watchin' tapes but frankly, I ain't impressed. You see Damage, I ain't got no injuries in my life. Never! So there ain't gonna be no way dat you are gonna work on any body parts. I give you one bit of advice. If you want any chance of beatin' me you betta come out brawlin' because unless you do I will smotha you, and der ain't no way you will reverse da flow of tings. Now, Mr. Damage, you say dat da DON makes you sick. You'd betta not say dat cause he might put ya in da hospital for a few weeks. Like we've been sayin' Damage, we are da Enforcers here and we have been watchin' you! I don't like you, kid, and tonight I'm gonna show you a little bit of enforcin', Italian style. Maybe you shoulda stayed in your own league an' fought dat German rookie who tinks da Outlaw is gonna make a difference for him. One more ting punk, don't you ever, and I mean ever, insult my appearance. My hair is done wit precision every mornin' and dats why I'm considad attractive to da ladies. Do ya know who dey are, Damage, or are you too busy sweepin da gutter of da rankins kid? Let's go, Sal. Off to kick some ass! SF: Let's go killer! [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: - VINNY CAPPICOLA was clearly upset by the comments made by MR. DAMAGE recently, and he went to town in this match, proving that one thing you don't want to do is rile up the temper of this mean Sicilian. Cappicola blasted Damage all over the ring, and finally put him away with his Eradicator, after hitting a devastating piledriver. Cappicola had quite an audience for this match -- one Otto Verhoeven came out and watched Cappicola from the aisle. He showed no emotion as he stood there, but when Cappicola called him into the ring after his victory, the Butcher just turned his back and walked away. Is Verhoeven afraid of Cappicola? BL: Afraid?! Are you kidding me?! Wrestling is as much a psychological sport as it is a physical one. Verhoeven's not afraid of anybody -- but he knows how to play to his opponents' weaknesses. Cappicola is a musclehead, plain and simple, and he'll go into their match on Saturday thinking he's got the Butcher on the run. And then Verhoeven will take him apart. LM: We'll see about that. In the final match before we came on air: - HEAVY METAL continued their seemingly unstoppable rise with another victory, this time putting STEAMROLLER through the mat with their Olympic Slam. Taylor and Brassow kept the Steele twins at bay for the best part of the match, but when Apollo finally tagged out to Atlas after absorbing a lot of punishment, things took a downturn for the former IIWF Tag champs, and it was only a matter of time before they succumbed to Robo Stone's meal tickets. It's hard to see where Steamroller can go from here, Becky. BL: Not really, Larry. Straight out the door and not returning would be a pretty good move, I would have thought. LM: I'll pass on that invaluable tip to them for you, Becky. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] It's time to go up to the ring for tonight's first live match! The crazy ex-con Prisoner #109 takes on the "Badboy" Randy Acorn. Let's quickly go backstage and get comments from the felon as he prepares for this match: [Cut to Prisoner #109 standing in his locker room.] P109: "Badboy" Randy Acorn... I can't wait to get my hands on you.. This will give me my chance to destroy you.. I am going to kick your ass from left to right.. You're going to wish you'd never heard of me.. _I_ am The Bad Boy -- You are the little girl.. Now as for all you so-called wrestlers.. Go to hell!! [P109 storms out of shot. Cut back to the ring.] ====================================== Prisoner #109 vs. "Badboy" Randy Acorn ====================================== LM: This one isn't going to be so much a contest of skills as it is going to be an all-out fight... BL: These two guys just like to beat people up... You've got to admire that. LM: Not only do we have rulebreakers in the IIWF, now we have convicted felons. BL: Larry, everyone is supposed to have the chance for rehabilitiation... Are you suggesting that Prisoner #109 doesn't deserve that chance? LM: No, well... I... But, the guy... Hmmpf... RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from the Department of Correction, Prisonerrrrr One-Oh-Niiiiiiine! [The piercing sounds of the theme from Psycho fill the Coliseum as Prisoner #109, clad in his prison uniform, walks down the aisle. He doesn't pay any attention to the crowd, which jeers him.] RA: His opponent, hailing from -- BwaAAAAH!!! [Sparkplug Lee is startled by Randy Acorn shooting out from under the ring and attacking P109 with some brutal shots to the face. Lee runs out of the ring, and the bell rings.] BL: What the hell? Was he hiding under that ring all night? LM: I don't know, but it seems to me that this "Badboy" likes to make surprise entrances... BL: Well, you have to admit, it gives him an advantage. [Acorn continues his assault on P109, and P109 seems to be going down to the mat. Acorn throws him into the ropes, setting him up for a clothesline, but P109 ducks and tackles with a shoulder block on the rebound. The crowd pops, but are unsure who to cheer. P109 stomps on Acorn viciously, and then drops a knee on his forehead. P109 brings Acorn to his feet and executes a powerbomb. He tries to follow up with an elbow, but Acorn rolls out of the way and capitalizes on the mistake by kicking the prone Prisoner with his heel. Acorn gets up and begins a series of punches on P109's head. He lifts P109 and slams him back down. Randy comes off the ropes and attempts a leg drop, but P109sits up, causing Acorn to miss. He goes nuts, punching the sense out of Acorn. He stands Acorn up and runs across the ring, executing a cross body-block that sends both men over the top rope. The two men hit the floor, but P109 gets up first. The ref starts a count. P109 throws Acorn into the ring steps with a loud clang. Big pop. He then grabs Acorn and leads him up the aisle and picks him up in Spinebuster position, when he falls back, trying to land Acorn's throat across a crowd barrier.] LM: No! That can end a career! BL: Whine, whine, whine... That's all you ever do, Larry... [Acorn puts his hands up at the last moment, averting most of the damage caused by the barrier. P109 calmly gets up to see Acorn standing and waiting for him. The ref's count has reached 5. Acorn kicks P109 and sets him up for a DDT on the concrete. Acorn falls back, but his arm slips from around P109's head, leaving P109 standing. P109 moves in for the Mandible Claw, but Randy grabs a hold of P109's arm. The two battle each other for control of the situation, but the impending Claw just seems to move back and forth. The count reaches 8 as Acorn moves his head and lets go of P109's arm, causing P109 to jam his fingers into the floor. Acorn gets up and issues a few kicks to P109's ribs, and the bell rings as the ref's count reaches 10. The two men don't seem to hear the bell, though, and keep fighting. Technique seems to be thrown out the window as both men just hit each other as many times as they can...] LM: All technique seems to be thrown out the window... Both men are just hitting each other as much as they can. BL: Has anyone ever told you that you have a gift for stating the painfully obvious, Larry? LM: Well, thank you, Becky... But seriously, we've got to get some officials out here to stop this... We're not one of those Extreme Fighting shows... Let's get some control here! [As if on cue, a bunch of officials, including some guy in a bad suit and funny blond hair, try to separate the two fighters...] LM: Hey! Isn't that Rene Goulet!? BL: No, you dork... It's the head referee for the IIWF, Poutine Janois... LM: Must have been the suit... [The swarm of officials separate Acorn and P109 with much difficulty as both men spit insults at each other. Acorn is led back to the locker room area as P109 is held in the aisle. Acorn issues a few threats, and P109 smiles, saying "Yeah!? Bring it on, punk!" Finally, order is restored, and the two men are escorted out.] LM: Well, it looks like a double countout. This one is far from over... That fight really didn't accomplish much, since we just saw a beating the whole way through. BL: But as severe as the beatings were, each man came back to fight. These two are brutal, and I can't wait until they meet again. Maybe next time we'll see blood. LM: I'll never understand you, Becky... ======================================= Law & Disorder vs. High Plains Drifters ======================================= LM: We've got tag action coming at you in this contest as the High Plains Drifters may actually _wrestle_ tonight. You'll recall that they trapped Aaron the Caddy and pummeled him with his own golf clubs Saturday Night before a match with Armed Forces that never got underway. BL: The Drifters are golf fans... they weren't serious. LM: What do you mean? BL: They were just playing "a round." Hehe! LM: Ooh, you punster, you! BL: You take that back! [Sparkplug Lee is winking at Lisa, the IIWF ring girl, when the spotlight again falls on him.] BL: Hey, that little tramp Lisa just winked back at Sparkplug. Why do you think they call him "Sparkplug" anyway? LM: I'd rather not think about it. BL: It's probably because he belongs under a hood. SL: This tag-team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a combined weight of 539 pounds, accompanied to the ring by the lovely Liberty, here are Marshall Law and Ace Maverick . . . Law & Disorder!!! [Moderate pop as the trio enter the arena. Liberty waves to the fans as they walk down the aisle and enter the ring.] SL: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 502 pounds, accompanied to the ring by "Outlaw" Josey Wales, here are Easy Rider and Pale Rider... The High Plainnnnns Drifterrrrs!!] [Big heel pop as Wales leads the Drifters down the aisle. One geeky fan with thick black glasses and wearing knickers throws peanuts at the Drifters before holding up a sign that reads "Aaron the Caddy Fan Club." When the others around him see the sign, they laugh heartily. Even the Drifters point at him and laugh before entering the ring.] BL: Wow, and I thought the "Larry Morton Fan Club" was exclusive. You're up to two fans now, aren't you? LM: Uh, three actually. I picked up one in Peoria. BL: That's not all you can pick up in Peoria. [The referee calls for the opening bell: Ding! Ding! Marshall Law opens against Easy Rider, but walks into an early barrage of punches. Easy whips him into the corner and hits a splash, following up with a bulldog before tagging in Pale Rider, who hits a superplex. Marshall Law fires back with several punches to Pale's midsection, and he adds serveral forearm blows to drop Pale to the mat. Law staggers to his corner and tags in Ace Maverick.] LM: These two teams are really going at it now. This is turning into a real snotblocker. BL: The term is _slobberknocker_, you dweeb. [Maverick plants a boot to Pale's head, then whips his opponent into the ropes and backdrops him. He again whips Pale to the ropes and hits a frankensteiner. Cover: 1 - 2 - Easy jumps in and makes the save. Maverick is able to continue the assault on Pale and finishes an offensive barrage with an asai moonsault. Cover: 1 - 2 - again Easy makes the tag.] LM: I'm not sure Pale Rider would have kicked out there. He really needs to make a tag. BL: Law and Disorder are giving the Riders all they... hey, look at this! [Heel pop as Armed Forces make their way down to the ring area and watch the match. Maverick pulls Pale to his feet and goes for a piledriver, but Pale backflips him and then jumps to his own corner to tag in Easy, who clotheslines Maverick. Marshall Law enters the ring, but Easy clotheslines him right back out. Easy hits a brainbuster on Maverick, then lifts him onto his shoulders and turns to the Drifters' corner.] LM: The Drifters are going for the "Hang "Em High" clothesline. Wait, what are the Armed Forces doing? BL: I think it's called "leaving." [Armed Forces turn and walk back to the dressing room, waving their arms behind them as if no longer interested in the match. Inside the ring, Pale has climbed to the top rope and dives off, clotheslining Maverick. As Easy covers Maverick, Pale delivers a right hand to Marshall Law on the ring apron: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Here are your winners, by pinfall: the High Plains Drifters! [Pale and Easy exchange hi-fives as Josey Wales joins them in the ring. Maverick rolls out to join Law and they walk slowly back to the dressing room, followed by Liberty.] LM: I suppose the Drifters are still wanting another shot at Armed Forces and the IIWF Tag Team belts. BL: And time will tell if the Drifters impressed the Forces enough tonight to earn that shot. [Suddenly, the lights in the arena go out. There is a big pop, which dies down as it remains dark.] LM: Are we on? Are we on? BL: Yes, we're on, you moron. Who turned out the lights? LM: I thought for a minute Deathbringer must be early, but I see no sign of him... What's that thudding noise? Don't adjust your sets, folks. We'll try and restore normal service as soon as possible. [When the lights come back on the Family is in the ring. The Don is sitting behind a judge's desk, while Vinny Cappicola is dressed in a bailiff’s uniform. Salvatore Fiorello, cousins Guido, Vito, Luigi, and Rocko, all sit behind a table in suits and ties. The thudding noise is made by Don Antonio banging down the judge’s mallet.] BL: What the hell...? [The crowd gives the Family a big pop.] DA: Order in the court! We are hear this evening to engage in the first ever trial of the Enforcers of the IIWF and as such must convene in a timely and orderly fashion. Mr. Bailiff, will you please read the first case? VC: Yes, your honor. Da first case is da fans of da IIWF versus "Badboy" Randy Acorn. The defendant is charged wit lewd an lesidious conduct on da first charge and assault an' battery of a juvenile on da secon charge. DA: Can you show us the evidence for this case? [The video wall flickers into life with the highlights of Randy Acorn’s appearances in the IIWF. The entire family looks perturbed as the see Acorn pushing a child to the ground.] DA: God, what do I always say about respect! Alright, Mr. Foreman [turning to Salvatore Fiorello], I will give you some time to come up with a verdict. SF: Your honour, we already have. The defendant is found guilty on both counts. DA: Mr. Foreman, do you have any recommendations for sentencing? Vito: Hang him! Guido: Burn him! Rocko: Electric cha... SF: Alright guys, let's remember, we're on TV... Anyway, your honour, the jury requests retribution in the form inflicted upon the child plus a humiliating defeat. DA: That sounds reasonable. Well, Mr. Bailiff, will you be ready to inflict the punishment on the lawbreaker as mentioned by the jury? VC: Oh yeah, DON, I mean your honour. I'll be ready for dat Acorn suckin' guy. DA: Then so be it. Mr. Bailiff, can you read the second case we have before us today? VC: Yeah, your honour, da secon' case is da fans of da IIWF versus co-defendants Brian Lau an' Tiger Claw. Da first charge is conspirin' against da IIWF, an da secon is treason. DA: Okay, can we see some evidence? [Once again the video wall is turned on, but this time the wheelings and dealings of Brian Lau with the IIWF President during Midsummer Madness is shown. Also shown is the blatant interference by the defendants during the Street Fight between Casey James and the Man of Steel.] DA: Mr. Foreman, has the jury come to a decision? SF: Yes, your honour, we have. In the case presented before the court, the jury finds the defendants both guilty on both counts of conspiracy against the league and treason. DA: Recommendations for sentencing? SF: Yes, your honour, the defendants shall be stripped of the IIWF Intercontinental Championship. DA: Well, that's a pretty tough thing to do. Have we exhausted legal remedies by league officials? SF: To be honest with you sir, we both know President Dan has a stake in Lau's success. Any legal remedy will not provide proper punishment. DA: Then legal remedies shall not be pursued. Tiger Claw will be stripped of the Intercontinental Championship by myself, judge, enforcer, and executioner. We shall set sentencing for Saturday. Court is adjourned. [The theme from "The Godfather" starts up over the PA as the Family stands from the table and leaves the ring. The crowd gives them a big pop as they head up the aisle together.] LM: Well, that was... unique. BL: Of course, what you meant to say was, "that was plain stupid," right? LM: The Family really are taking their position as the Enforcers of the IIWF very seriously, Becky, and I think they should be applauded. BL: They ought to be interned. LM: Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree on this one. The ring staff have cleared the table from the ring, so it's time for our next match. ================================== Prince of Darkness vs. The Punster ================================== LM: Wit and charm versus raw power. Which one do you see coming out on top in this one, Becky? BL: Well, PoD's power is more formidable than Punster's wit, which is about as sharp as an old sledgehammer... LM: Wait a minute, a sledgehammer isn't sharp, it's... BL: Talking of sharp, you really are as stupid as you look, Larry... Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise... LM: Ummm, wait a sec... [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring with a bounce in his step, and winks at Lisa, the corner girl...] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, The Puuuunnnnnsterrrrr! ["Beat Our Guest" plays over the PA system, and the Punster leaps and bounds down the aisle to a moderate pop. Suddenly, he stops midway down the aisle and slips on his mask. Once the mask is on, he lumbers down to the ring slowly.] LM: Sometimes you've got to wonder what's going on in that mind... BL: Or what colour the sky is in his world... RA: His opponent, hailing from Parts Unknown, being led down to the ring by Dr.Faustus, The Prince of Daaaarrrrrknessss! [Boogie Man plays over the system, and the lights dim. Dr. Faustus and PoD are picked out by a spotlight with a flame effect gel running over it. Dr. Faustus has that evil look in his eye, and PoD looks quite morbid. They walk down to ringside somewhat swiftly, with Faustus throwing insults at various people in the crowd.] LM: There's been some odd happenings lately with the Prince of Darkness... Namely from one Archangel. BL: What is it with all these Devil types and angel types? What ever happened to being a human being? Like my Brad... [PoD enters the ring and stares icily at the Punster until the bell rings, when he sprints over towards Punster with a clothesline. Punster dexterously dodges out of the way and gives PoD a Savate kick to the back of the head. PoD is stunned as Punster follows up with a nice drop kick which sends PoD into the corner, smashing into the turnbuckle. Big pop. Punster leaps onto the second rope, straddling PoD, and peppers him with punches... The crowd counts along... 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6!... Punster stops at 6, lets the few slackers in the audience continue counting 7! 8! and then finishes off with two more punches, filling out the 9! 10! Punster then jumps up and exectues a nice frankensteiner, throwing PoD to the centre of the ring. Punster, quick as a cat, picks up PoD to exectue a suplex, but PoD is just too heavy.] LM: The Punster was a house of fire there for a second, and definitely had the upper hand, but he made the cardinal error of misjudging his own strength. BL: You see, Larry, that's why I like the big guys better... They can throw around anyone. These little guys need to spend more time getting out of the way... [PoD reverses the suplex, but keeps Punster in the vertical for an impressive amount of time, finally sending him crashing down to the mat. Big heel pop. PoD exectues a series of high impact moves... A power bomb, a few slams, and a nice powerslam. Punster definately shows evidence of getting worn down by the onslaught of power moves, and has trouble getting to his feet. PoD waits in the corner for Punster to get up, measuring the smaller man. Once Punster gets up to a vertical base, PoD runs in and almost takes his head off with a clothesline. Big heel pop as PoD stands over Punster yelling taunts. PoD picks Punster up and signals for the Misery Drop. He throws Punster into the ropes and executes the brutal spinebuster slam on the rebound. PoD goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - PoD lifts Punster off the mat to stop the count, shaking his head and yelling "No way..." He signals to the crowd that he's going to do another Misery Drop.] LM: There is absolutely no call for this! Prince of Darkness has Punster beaten! There's no need to try and end the guy's career! BL: PoD is sending a message to the Archangel, Larry... [PoD stands Punster in the centre of the ring and goes to the corner. He runs, screaming, and hits Punster, lifting him in the air and driving him down in the modified spinebuster. Dr. Faustus laughs and yells for PoD to do it again. Instead of going for the cover, PoD signals for yet another Drop... Just as PoD lifts Punster to his feet, there's a blinding flash.] LM: Woah! The same thing happened at Saturday night's card... It must be the Archangel! BL: Or some idiot in the lighting booth... [Once the glare dies down, Punster is slumped in the corner, the ref is rubbing his eyes, Dr. Faustus is gone, and the behemoth Archangel is holding PoD up ready for a chokeslam. Archangel drives PoD into the mat, making a loud booming sound. PoD rolls out of the ring slowly, and Archangel follows him out. PoD begins to take shots at the big man, but Archangel ges toe to toe with him. The two begin to battle up the aisle, and the ref finally gets his senses back. He sees that PoD is out of the ring, and begins to lay a count on him. Archangel gives PoD a shot that sends him over a crowd baricade. PoD gets to his feet, shoves a fan out of his seat, and grabs the metal chair. The ref reaches 5. PoD labels Archangel with the chair, but the chair seems to take more damage than Archangel's head. The ref reaches 8. Archangel picks PoD up and hoists him onto his shoulder, and runs into the back. The crowd can hear the impact of the powerslam behind the scenes. Finally, the ref counts to 10, and calls for the bell. He raises the Punster's hand, who is barely conscious in the corner.] RA: Here is your winner, as a result of a countout: The Punster! LM: Well, a victory in the books for the Punster, but he really took a beating. Two Misery Drops... Ouch. BL: Bah... We all know who won here. Not that Punkster... the Prince of Darkness totally dominated until that "Holier than thou" Archangel just had to go and stick his nose in... LM: We're looking at the beginnings of a really hot rivalry between Prince of Darkness and Archangel. We're going to be seeing more of this, you can count on it! BL: Wait a minute... Where's Faustus? What did Archangel do to Faustus? LM: I wouldn't be surprised if he ran away, Becky... ========================================= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Crimson Storm ========================================= LM: This should be a completely electric match, Becky. Both these men have a huge arsenal of technical ability, and the action is sure to move fast. BL: Great... More of that runtweight rubbish. It's like watching two insects stinging each other over and over again. LM: Becky, light heavyweights are the future of our sport! BL: The only future I see for you is a thumb to the eye... LM: No need to get snarky, Becky... RA: Ladies and gentleman, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Parts Unknown, here is Criiiiimsoooon Stoooooorrrrrrm! [The lights dim, and several firework explosions erupt up around the roof. A red spotlight picks out Crimson Storm making his way to the ring. He is quiet, and the fans aren't sure what to make of him.] LM: This guy is still as much of a mystery as when he first came into the IIWF. BL: A mystery... But not an enigma... LM: Right... That's the next guy. BL: So who's the enema? RA: His opponent, Hailing from Tokyo, Japan, here is "The Enigma" Takezo Musashiiiii! [The lights get even darker as the haunting sounds of Musashi's theme music play. The lights swirl in a multi coloured whirlpool centering on the lone figure of Musashi making his way down the ring. There is the beginnings of a pop for him, but the fans don't sound too confident.] LM: Here's another guy who the fans aren't sure of... BL: Seems that he's made his standpoint clear, since Don McQueen isn't with him... LM: Well, one thing's for sure, and that's the fact that Musashi is one of the most gifted athletes to grace our rings for a while! BL: You're forgetting the Syndicate, Larry... Hakiro seems to have some interest in this man. LM: The match is about to start... Let's get down to the ring. [The lights come back up as Musashi enters the ring. Crimson Storm does a few stretches using the ropes. The bell rings, and both men circle each other in the ring. They lock up collar and elbow, and Storm locks a headlock, which is countered to a hammerlock by Musashi. Storm reverses the hammerlock, and lifts the smaller man into the air, throwing him forward. Musashi lands on his feet, shaking off his arm, while Storm showboats for the crowd. Heel pop.] LM: There's that technical skill of Crimson Storm. He really knows the workings of those holds. BL: [very monotone] Yee haw... [The two men lock up again, and this time, Musashi throws Storm into the ropes, and attempts a reverse Savate kick which misses. Storm attempts a clothesline on the rebound, but Musashi does a perfect cartwheel out of the way. Musashi mimics Storm's showboating, which brings a pop from the crowd. Enraged, Storm rushes Musashi, who anticipates the attack. He leapfrogs Storm, then performs a hurricanarana type maneuver on the rebound. The Ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Storm. Musashi bounds off the ropes and executes and elbow drop while spinning laterally, which lands squarely on Storms chest.] LM: Wow! I don't know if I've ever seen that before! BL: Flash... it's all flash... Big deal. [Musashi picks Storm up and executes a standing drop kick that lands on Storm's chin. Big pop. Musashi runs off the ropes again, and goes from a handspring to a splash. Huge pop. Musashi goes for the cover. 1 - 2 - kickout by Storm. Musashi goes for another splash type maneuver, but Storm puts his knees up. Musashi rolls on the floor, holding his abdomen, while Storm lays a few boots on him. The heel pop gets a bit louder as the crowd look to the head of the aisle and see Hakiro Matsuoko watching intently.] LM: What's he doing here? BL: Well, looks like he's scouting Musashi. From the sounds of it, these guys know each other somehow. Maybe he wants Musashi to join the Syndicate... [Crimson Storm locks a full nelson on Musashi and lifts him back to execute a dragon suplex. Musashi's head bounces off the canvas. Hakiro by this time is at ringside, and applauds Storm's maneuver. Storm then throws Musashi into the ropes and attemps a frankensteiner. Storm locks his legs on Musashi's head, flips him over, but Musashi reverses it into a sunset flip on Storm. The ref counts... 1 - Kickout by Storm. Storm gets up quickly, but Musashi is quicker with a kip-up. Storm rushes Musashi, but Musashi meets him with a thrust kick which floors Storm in the middle of the ring. Hakiro scowls on the outside, and Musashi flashes a glance in his direction. Musashi comes off the ropes, executing a handspring into a leg drop, and Hakiro seems to get even more angry, pounding on the mat. Storm lays in the middle of the ring as Musashi leaps to the top rope. He points at Matsuoko, and then launches himself into the flips to begin the Starsault Press. Musashi flies through the air to land the stunning maneuver onto the prone Storm. The ref counts as Hakiro leaps to the apron... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! The ref raises Musashi's arm in victory.] LM: I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing that Starsault Press! BL: But you never get tired of tying your shoes, Larry. That Starsault is way too risky... I'm surprised that he landed it. LM: Whoa... Wait a second. Something's going on in the ring. [Hakiro has entered the ring, and the ref tries to stop him. Matsuoko pushes the ref into the corner, and comes face to face with Musashi. Hakiro begins to shout at Musashi, but the ring mikes can only pick up snippets of the tirade. "Grandmaster," "Starsault," and "Should be me!" are heard being said by Matsuoko. Musashi calmly says something in Japanese, which seems to infuriate Hakiro. He closes in on Musashi, and begins waving his arms around. The crowd pops as Don Antonio and Vinny come down to the ring. they stand between the two men trying to calm them down. The crowd pop turns to jeers as Tiger Claw and Joe Latta come down to the ring.] LM: Okay, hold on a sec... What is Tiger Claw doing? BL: Well, for that matter, what the hell is Don Antonio doing? LM: Well, Don is trying to keep things in check here in the IIWF. BL: And Tiger Claw is making sure the Don knows what he's getting into by challenging him. [Tiger Claw gets into Don's face, saying "Stay out of this. It's none of your business," while Joe keeps an eye on Vinny. All the while, Hakiro and Musashi stare at each other in the middle of the ring. Hakiro points at Musashi, saying something in Japanese, and Musashi simply bows to Hakiro, then leaves the ring. The crowd pops as Musashi walks back up the aisle, high-fiving fans on his way. At the head of the isle, Musashi turns to face Hakiro again, and bows once more, then he is gone. In the ring, Tiger Claw and Joe Latta convince Hakiro to come with them, while keeping an eye on the Don and Vinny. Eventually, one by one, both parties leave the ring area.] LM: Well, I don't know what to think here. Obviously, Hakiro has some problem with Takezo Musashi... BL: Maybe Matsuoko was telling Musashi to lighten up on the make-up... You know, it really makes Musashi look like a tramp. LM: Becky, please... This is a serious matter... There seems to be some past between these two high-flyers. Hopefully some light can be shed on just what it is between these two men that caused this friction... Sounded like Musashi's finisher, the Starsault, had something to do with it. BL: Maybe Matsuoko was telling Takezo to cut out the eye-candy maneuvers. You remember how Matsuoko lost the IC title... By catering to the fans with flashy moves. A move like the Starsault can end you career if you make a mistake in its execution. I never did flash stuff like that when I was in the ring... LM: Well, some would say there's another reason for that, Becky... Some say you were too heaaaaa-OOOOWWW!!! BL: Eat heel, you little creep... How does that feel? I was too _what_, huh? LM: ...mmmmphhgfff... BL: Yeah, that's what I thought... ====================================================== IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL: Dan Kauffman vs. "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko ====================================================== LM: We're closing in on crowning the first IIWF Cruiserweight cham... BL: [interrupting] You mean _runt_. LM: ...ahem... Cruiserweight champion, and this match will pit against each other two of the IIWF's biggest stars in any division. BL: Define "biggest." LM: I'd prefer to go up to the ring for our introductions. [Spotlights swirl around the Coliseum and one falls on Sparkplug Lee, who is chomping on a candy bar. He shoves the bar into his coat pocket and raises the microphone.] SL: Mmmph, ladieth and gentlemmm, this ith a semifinal match in the IIWF Crutherwet Tunnament. [He clears the sticky candy from his mouth with his index finger, drawing groans from the first several rows] Ah, that's better. It has a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, from Hagerstown, Maryland, and weighing 230 pounds, he is... Dannnnnnn Kaufffffman! [Big face pop for Kauffman as fireworks flash around the arena. Kauffman is focused on the ring as he walks down the aisle and does not even acknowledge the fans who reach out to him. He climbs to the ring apron and vaults the top rope, then slaps his hands as if he is eager to get the match underway.] BL: Is Kauffman snubbing his precious fans now? LM: I think he's just all business tonight. After all, the IIWF Crusierweight Cham... BL: You mean _runt_. LM: ...ahem... Cruiserweight Championship is still on the line and he's facing The Syndicate here tonight. [Sparkplug raises the microphone again.] SL: And his opponent, hailing from Tokyo, Japan, weighing 215 pounds and accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau and Joe Latta of The Syndicate, he is... Hakiiiiiiiiro Matsuoko! [Big heel pop for Lau, Matsuoko, and Latta as they enter the Coliseum to Kodo music. They ignore a group of fans who wave homemade posters -- one of which reads "I've Been Syndicated!" and another which reads: "Oooh Joe, I got a Latta love!" They enter the ring and Matsuoko hands his Oriental constume to Lisa, the IIWF ring girl. Lau and Latta stare at Kauffman before leaving the ring. The referee calls for the opening bell: Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: It's interesting to note that Tiger Claw did not accompany his stablemates to the ring for this match. Think there is some animosity between Claw and Matsuoko with both of them going for the new belt? BL: Hey, you're speculating again! Hey Lau! Lau! Larry's speculating on problems in your stable. [Lau glances over at LaRue before turning his attention back to the ring. Matsuoko opens the match on the attack, hitting Kauffman with a series of punches and kicks. A yakuza kick puts Kauffman to the mat, but as Matsuoko attempts to follow up the move, Kauffman rakes the Oriental man's eyes. Kauffman takes advantage of the break and rams Matsuoko's head into the turnbuckle. He adds a few power moves, runs Matsuoko's face across the top rope to the protests of Lau, follows up with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, and goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: The Angel of the Sun seems to have brought out the worst in Dan Kauffman here tonight. Some of his moves in this match can't exactly be called sportsmanlike. BL: Yeah, he needs to take sportmanship lessons from the Dark Knights. [Kauffman continues his onslaught with a top-rope superplex and a cover: 1 - 2 - kickout! As Lau steps to the ring apron, the referee quickly warns the manager to stay out of the match. However, Kauffman takes advantage of the timeout and presses his boot into Matsuoko's throat. The Angel of the Sun gasps for air, but Kauffman does not break the choke hold until the referee turns around. Kauffman whips his opponent into the ropes, but Matsuoko leapfrogs Kauffman and hits a spinning heel kick when Dan turns around. Big heel pop.] LM: That move may be the opening Matsuoko was waiting for. BL: You've got to watch these martial arts wrestlers. Matsuoko is an honest one, but some don't wear boots and they stick their stinky feet in your face in an effort to get a submission and... LM: I think we've heard enough, Becky. [Matsuoko whips Kauffman into the turnbuckle and follows him in with a handspring elbow. Kauffman drops to the mat. Matsuoko climbs to the top rope and hits a moonsault, then goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout!! He pulls Kauffman to his feet, but is again met by a rake of the eyes.] LM: There goes Kauffman again. This isn't the "Flash" I'm used to seeing. BL: So you're used to being flashed, Larry? Boy, I'm learning more about you than I ever wanted to. [Kauffman pounds away on Matsuoko with closed fists, drawing a warning from the referee. He suplexes Matsuoko in the middle of the ring and then goes to the top rope for his "lights out" clothesline. Brian Lau protests on the other side of the ring, drawing the referee's attention, while Joe Latta grabs Kauffman's foot and forces him to lose his balance. As Kauffman tumbles head-first into the ring, the referee turns to see Matsuoko recover. Matsuoko storms toward Kauffman and delivers a vicious spinning leg lariat as Kauffman begins to get to his feet. The cover: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: Matsuoko gets the win and advances in this tournament, but not without the usual help from a member of the Syndicate. BL: I thought helping others counts as sportsmanship. [The referee raises Matsuoko's arm in victory, but Kauffman slides from the ring and tears into Latta. The two exchange blows outside the ring as Brian Lau backs away. Kauffman rams Latta's head into the guard rail and then stomps on his former pupil before storming up the aisle. Surprisingly, he gets a mixed pop as many fans were not impressed with Dan's actions during the match.] LM: This may be the first time in his career... certainly the first time in the IIWF... that we've heard Dan Kauffman booed. BL: But we don't know anything about his love life. LM: You have a one-track mind, Becky. BL: Well, you have a one-rail mind! LM: [sighs] Let's go to our next match. ====================================================== IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL: Man Of Steel vs. Tiger Claw ====================================================== LM: We already know that Hakiro Matsuoko is one of our three finalists in the runt . . . darn it, now you have me doing it. I mean in the IIWF Cruiserweight Tournament. Brian Lau could really gain an upper hand toward adding more gold to the Syndicate with a win by the Intercontinental Champion in this matchup. BL: Yeah, and Claw is wrestling the underwear kid. I'd say Brian Lau had better prepare another spot in the Syndicate trophy case. LM: However, the Man of Steel has been on a great roll of late and I understand Bibbo Bibowski will be with the MOS tonight. BL: Hehe... Bibbo. Sounds like what the Man of Steelo wearso when he eatso. LM: [sighs] Let's go up to Sparkplug Lee for our introductions. [Sparkplug notices that he is wearing two different color socks when the spotlight falls on him. He tugs down his pants leg and raises the microphone.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the second of the three semi-final round contests in the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. It has a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first, from Kansas, weighing 227 pounds and accompanied to the ring by Bubba Boobb . . . Billy . . . wait, it's B-i-b-b-o, okay . . . [The fans begin to laugh at Sparkplug as Becky LaRue shakes her head.] BL: Sparkplug really is a gimp, isn't he Larry? Someone is going to kill him for mispronouncing a name one day. SL: Okay, accompanied to the ring by [reads it slowly] Bibbo... Bibowski... he is The Mannnnn of Steeeeeel! [Good pop for Man of Steel and Bibbo as they enter the Coliseum. "Made in Heaven" plays and spotlights swirl as one fan holds up a homemade poster which reads: "You Da Man . . . Steel." Sparkplug apologizes as the two enter the ring, but MOS pats him on the shoulder and reassures him everything is okay.] SL: And his opponent from Thailand, weighing 220 pounds and accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, he is the reigning IIWF Intercontinental Champion, he is... Tigerrrrrr Claw! [Big heel pop for Lau and Claw as they enter the coliseum to Claw's Thai boxing music. Claw looks up at the Man of Steel and points to the Intercontinental Belt around his waist, then flexes his muscles. MOS, apparently unimpressed, turns his back to Claw and chats with Bibbo. Claw enters the ring and immediately charges his opponent, knocking Bibbo from the ring and pounding on MOS. The referee calls for the opening bell: Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: Tiger Claw has wasted no time going on the attack in this one. What a cheap shot! BL: Hey, you don't get a championship belt by letting the other guy hit you first. If underwear boy is going any further in this tournament, he'd better learn that. [Tiger Claw batters Man of Steel with his punching fury, coupled with several body kicks. He whips MOS into the ropes and hits a spinning heel kick on the return. Claw continues the assault with two elbow drops off the top rope, then goes for a cover: 1 - 2 - kickout. Bibbo beats on the ring apron and gets the fans involved as they begin an "M-O-S" chant. Claw goes back to the top rope, but misses a third elbow drop when MOS barely rolls out of the way.] LM: Man of Steel needed a break and that may be just what he was looking for. He's already taken quite a beating. BL: Yeah, but I'm more surprised that 'ol Bibbo could actually spell M-O-S. [Both men get back to the feet at the same time, but MOS gains the advantage with several roundhouse rights. He floors Tiger Claw with a legsweep takedown and locks on the camel clutch. Claw is able to reach the ropes, but is clearly hurting from Steel's offensive surge. As Claw slides under the bottom rope and walks toward Lau, Steel follows him out and drop kicks Claw into his manager. Big pop.] LM: The Man of Steel decided he's had enough of Tiger Claw's antics. That was a bit atypical for Man of Steel, but desperate times calls for desperate measures. BL: That pretty much sums up your dating strategy, doesn't it Larry? [There is a disturbance as Casey "Blackheart" James charges down the aisle and comes to Lau's aid, but Man of Steel quickly rolls back into the ring and points out James' arrival to the referee, who shrugs his shoulders. Tiger Claw waits until the 8 count before jumping back to the ring apron. Steel charges in to greet him, but Claw vaults over the top rope, plants a kick squarely on Steel's jaw and goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - kickout! He stomps on Steel's head, then goes to the top rope for the Golden Tiger Strike.] LM: This is Tiger Claw's finisher! Man of Steel is definitely in trouble now! BL: A Man of Steel with a glass jaw. Pretty funny, huh, Larry? [Bibbo temporarily draws Claw's attention, but it is enough to allow Man of Steel to get to his feet and dive at the corner. He knocks Claw off balance and the Thai wrestler falls, screaming in pain as he lands straddling the top turnbuckle. Man of Steel begins climbing the ropes and prepares Claw for his "Doomsday" powerbomb off the top rope.] LM: Now it's Man of Steel who... wait a minute, here comes Casey James! [James, seeing MOS going for his finisher, rushes around the ring. However, Bibbo charges the other way and floors James with a hard clothesline. Bibbo sits on James and begins peppering him with right hands. Man of Steel balances himself and executes the powerbomb on Claw. He quickly covers as Lau sees what is happening. 1 - 2 - Lau dives through the ropes - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Lau dives at MOS, who rolls out of the way as Lau lands on top of Claw. Big pop.] LM: The Man of Steel has done it! He's defeated Tiger Claw to advance in this Cruiserweight Tournament! BL: Yeah, well, accidents happen. [MOS rolls from the ring and hugs Bibbo. They run up the aisle, slapping the fans' hands. Lau revives Claw and they join James outside the ring, holding a brief conference before heading back to the dressing room.] LM: Hooray for the Man of Steel! BL: Did you really just say "hooray?" Can't we just go to another match? LM: You betcha, Becky! We're going to see "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley do battle with one of your favourites, Brad Kinder. I caught up with Quigley backstage earlier on tonight. Let's go to that interview: [Cut to Chris Quigley, putting on his kneepads in the locker room backstage at the IIWF Coliseum. Larry Morton knocks on the door, and enters the room...] LM: Chris, you don't mind a small interview before the big match, do you? CQ: Not at all, take a seat. There was something I wanted to talk about anyway... LM: Well, what would that be? CQ: Y'know, it seems to me like people think I'm coming in here, and I'm talking like the IIWF is some kinda minor league organization... like I'm the big famous superstar who doesn't think he has to work to make it here. That is NOT the truth. I don't care who I have to face, whether it be the lowest jobber to Billy Shakespeare... I give them all the attention in the world! You aren't born confident; this is something I have acquired with experience. I work hard, I study my opponents' matches, and I go into each match with what I think is a flawless game plan. I don't sit back and two minutes before a match, say, "Oh, I have to face so and so... should be easy." I have found every tape possible on Brad Kinder... and I have already started looking up on Billy Shakespeare. I don't take anyone lightly, but I take myself VERY seriously. Everyone knows my main goal is to be the BEST... and that takes work. It means you never let up, you never rest, you always keep your guard. That's what I do, and that's what I'm prepared to do for the rest of my career. You talk about my "great tales of other federations..." If I succeed in the IIWF, and I believe I will, that will be my greatest accomplishment to date. Because I truly believe that this is the single greatest federation I have ever competed in. Maybe that's not how it sounds, but that's the truth. It's clearly the most organized, great production, the list goes on and on, and to be World Champion -- or for now... Cruiserweight champion -- of this fed, truly means you are the BEST. LM: Well, that maybe explains a bit... But uh, what about the match with Brad Kinder, tonight? CQ: Like I said, I have studied and I have gotten ready for a fight. It's a fight that I REFUSE to LOSE! Kinder is big, and he talks big, but he is the first major step to achieving greatness in the IIWF, and I will NOT be denied. I'm not looking past Kinder, and looking at Shakespeare. I'm mature enough in this profession to never look past the present. Kinder is gonna find out tonight how prepared I am! He is gonna go DOWN! LM: Thanks Chris, good luck! CQ: You don't need luck, you need skill, and THAT I DO have. [Cut back to live shots of the arena.] ===================================================== "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Brad "Bodybag" Kinder ===================================================== LM: We've got one of the IIWF's young lions coming at you in this match and... BL: I always knew you thought highly of Brad. LM: ...ummm, actually I was referring to "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, a young man who has already made quite an impact here in the IIWF. BL: Yeah, he impacted the Coliseum floor last week when Brad hammered him during that lovely brawl on Saturday Night. LM: And he hammered him _from behind_, I might add. Quigley is seeking retribution for that heinous act with a win over the Bodybag. BL: Dream on, you little twit. [Sparkplug Lee is bouncing off the ropes and practicing his introductions when the spotlight hits the ring.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the aisle, from the Arizona Desert, and weighing in at 295lbs, here is: Braaaaad "Bodybaaaag" Kinnndeeeerr! [Big heel pop for Kinder as he appears at the head of the aisle. He makes his way down to the ring, sneering at the jeering fans.] LM: Have you heard the rumours that Mr. Kinder is contemplating parting company with the IIWF, Becky? BL: What?! In your dreams, Larry! Where did you get _that_ bit of scurrilous rumour? LM: Just passing on locker room talk. It seems the Dark Knights have something of a crisis on their hands, with Phantom departing just as silently as he came, and Kinder on the brink of retirement. BL: These really are dark days, Larry. [Kinder climbs the ring steps and steps between the ropes. He circles Sparkplug Lee with a mean grimace on his face. Lee just smiles at Brad nervously before speaking once more:] SL: And introducing his opponent: hailing from Corner Brook, Canada, weighing in at 238lbs, here is: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [Big pop for Quigley as he steps out of the locker room area and walks down to ringside. Rockets flare from above the entrance curtain and shoot up above the ring, apparently triggering more fireworks, which explode in a colourful pyrotechnic display high in the rafters. Quigley hi-fives the eager fans as he makes his way to the ring. He stops as he climbs the ringsteps and looks across the squared circle at Brad Kinder. He continues into the ring and raises his arms to the crowd, who give him a big pop. Quigley removes his leather jacket, and then vaults over the ropes to the outside once more. He takes off his shades, and gives them to a fan at ringside. He cracks a smile before reentering the ring.] BL: You know, it's funny, Larry. When I saw Quigley coming down the aisle with those glasses on, I would have thought you _couldn't_ give them away. Then I remembered that the fans of the IIWF are the same people who actually buy official Man Of Steel underpants. LM: Not only is Quigley an exceptional athlete, but he runs his own clothing company. BL: Wow, how macho. A wrestler into haute couture. I bet he knits in his spare time as well. I'm more of a man than Quigley could ever be. LM: Now _there's_ a worrying thought. This match is underway, folks. [The bell rings to signal the start of the match. Quigley and Kinder circle one another before locking up collar and elbow. Kinder pushes Quigley to the mat. Heel pop as Quigley picks himself up. Again, the two men circle and lock up. Again, Kinder throws Quigley to the mat.] LM: Quigley's making a mistake trying to match power with Kinder. He's going to have to use his superior speed and agility to take Kinder off his feet. BL: Take Kinder off his feet? I don't think so, Larry! [Quigley charges Kinder, and attempts an armdrag takedown, but Kinder blocks and counters with a hiptoss of his own. Again Quigley hits the mat, but he is quickly back on his feet. He locks up with Kinder once more, and Kinder catches him with a hammerlock. Quigley reverses the hold, then flips over backwards and whips Kinder into the ropes. He hits with a flying cross-body block that takes Bodybag off his feet. Pop! Kinder is straight back to his feet, and charges Quigley, who hiptosses him into the corner. Quigley charges in and headscissors Kinder out into the centre of the ring, then jumps to the second turnbuckle and launches himself backwards with a reverse cross-body flip, hitting Kinder with force. Cover - 1 - Kinder powers out!] LM: This is definitely the way Quigley's going to win this match. He's got to keep that speed advantage. If Kinder manages to slow him down, those power moves will take their toll. [Quigley whips Kinder into the ropes, and launches himself with a dropkick. However, Bodybag grabs the ropes, so Quigley hits only thin air. He crashes to the mat, and Kinder rushes in to drop an elbow. Quigley rolls out of the way, and headscissors Kinder as they lie on the mat. Kinder tries to break the hold, and eventually rolls himself over backwards to wriggle free. Both men get to their feet, and lock up once more. Kinder pushes Quigley into the ropes, and the referee calls for the break. Kinder gives a clean break, but then jabs Quigley in the eye out of the referee's field of vision. Heel pop. Kinder grabs Quigley and applies a gut-wrench powerbomb on the smaller man. Cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] BL: Now we're going to see my man Brad start pulling out those big guns of his... LM: I don't think we want to know about Kinder's big guns, thank you, Becky. BL: Larry, you disgust me! LM: What did I say?! [Quigley is dragged to his feet by the hair, and whipped into the ropes again. Kinder hits with an impressive spinebuster slam, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! A buzz ripples through the crowd as Otto Verhoeven appears at the head of the aisle. The Butcher walks calmly down to the ring as Kinder locks Quigley in a reverse chinlock.] LM: It's the Butcher! What does the Teutonic terror want out here now?! He's already scouted Vinny Cappicola... BL: Otto doesn't like Quigley, Larry. That means Quigley should be very worried indeed right now. [Verhoeven continues walking around to the side of the ring where Quigley had given his shades to a front row fan. Verhoeven grabs the glasses from the small child and snaps them. He throws the two pieces down to the arena floor and crushes them under his feet. The mic on the camera picks up Otto threatening the child's angry parents. Verhoeven turns and points at Quigley, who is still trapped in the chinlock in the ring. Verhoeven begins sauntering slowly back up the aisle, in no great hurry to leave. The crowd starts up a "Quick - strike! Quick - strike!" chant, and Quigley begins to power out of the hold. He breaks free with an elbow to Kinder's midsection, and then hits a fisherman suplex on the Bodybag. To a big crowd pop, he leaves Kinder lying in the centre of the ring, and goes out after Verhoeven. He stops the butcher halfway up the aisle, and the two engage in a slanging match.] LM: Some might applaud Quigley for fighting for the honour of his fans, but when it's against Otto Verhoeven, you've got to question his intelligence. Hang on, here comes Kinder -- oh no! From behind! [Kinder nails Quigley from behind, and "Quickstrike" crashes to the arena floor. Together, Verhoeven and Kinder pick Quigley up, and execute a double reverse neckbreaker onto the arena floor. The referee leaves the ring and dashes up the aisle to defuse the situation. Otto puts the boot into Quigley a couple more times before continuing up the aisle and disappearing from view. Kinder, meanwhile, throws Quigley back down the aisle towards the ring. Quigley clatters into the steel crowd barrier, and is then thrown against the ring steps by Bodybag. Big heel pop. Kinder rolls Quigley back into the ring, and then follows him in.] LM: The tide has well and truly turned in this one. Quigley is in a whole new world of hurt right here. BL: And it was Brad who lit the fire under the rocket! Bodybag truly is a force to be reckoned with here in the IIWF! [Kinder whips Quigley into the ropes and attempts a clothesline. Quigley ducks under the attempt, and then hits the ropes himself. Both men collide centre ring with a clothesline, and both tumble to the mat. The referee begins counting both men -- Kinder is up to his feet first, and drags Quigley to his feet. He attempts a brainbuster suplex, but Quigley blocks by raising his leg. Kinder attempts again, but Quigley continues to block the move. Quigley strikes back with a snap suplex of his own. Big pop. Quigley goes to the second turnbuckle and drops an elbow on Kinder. Another pop. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out!] LM: This is incredible! Quigley's turned this match around again! He's got Kinder rocked! [Kinder gets to his feet, and is knocked back to the mat by a big lariat from Quigley. Quigley grabs Kinder's legs as he is laid on his back and looks out to the crowd. Big pop!] LM: Here it comes! Here comes the "Quickstriker"! BL: No! Do something, Brad! [As Quigley attempts to cinch in his scorpion deathlock, Kinder lashes out with one of his boots, catching Quigley under the chin and sending him across the ring. Kinder gets up to his feet as Quigley also kips up. Kinder charges Quigley but is met by a blindingly-fast superkick from his opponent. Quigley covers - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [Big pop as the referee raises Quigley's arm in victory. Kinder rolls from the ring.] LM: And just like that, it was over! Quigley pulls a superkick out of nowhere, and Kinder is stunned just long enough for that three-count! BL: Quigley had Brad's tights, Larry! What a cheater! LM: He did not! Come on, Becky... all the best guys have their bad days. BL: Yeah, well, Quigley's going to have a very bad day very soon, when Brad and Verhoeven get their hands on him. [Quigley leaves the ring and hi-fives the fans at ringside, comforting the child who had his shades taken by the Butcher, before heading up the aisle.] LM: This is a great victory for Quigley, giving him all the momentum he needs to face Billy Shakespeare in his Cruiserweight Championship semi-final this Saturday Night. BL: For the first time in my life, I'll be cheering Shakespeare in a match. LM: Didn't Billy beat Kinder a few weeks ago here on Mayhem, Becky? BL: Shut up, Larry. LM: Anything you say, Becky... It's time for tonight's main event, folks! ========================================== IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Deathbringer vs. Fisto Flash ========================================== LM: This should be a really intense match. The World champion, Deathbringer, is always an impressive force in the ring, and Fisto is no slouch... BL: Deathbringer is going to get that weenie skull of his cracked by Fisto here. I predict that we'll see the belt change hands tonight... LM: Well, we'll have to see. Let's get down to the ring. [Sparkplug Lee strides into the ring and checks his mike.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's main event! This match is scheduled for one fall and is for the IIWF World Championship title. Introducing first, Hailing from Brooklyn, New York, accompanied by his manager, Robo Stone, here is Fiiiiistooooo Flaaaaash! [Eye of the Tiger begins to play, and Fisto comes out into the aisle with Robo not far behind. Fisto walks up to a kid with a "Deathbringer: Your Worst Nightmare" poster, and calmly grabs it and tears it up...] BL: You know, you think these kids would know better by now not to buy those things... LM: I think it's an act of defiance, Becky. It's a symbol that they won't allow the bad guys to take over the IIWF. BL: Have you been hanging around Man of Steel and Bag-Tag Boo-Hoo again? RA: His opponent hails from the Dark Side. He is the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion of the World. He is the one... The only... Deaaaaaaathbriiiiingerrrrrrr! [The crowd goes insane as the lights drop to complete darkness. The phat bass lines of The Reaper blast over the PA. Suddenly the lights are on again, and Deathbringer, clad in his cowl and brandishing his scythe, stands towering over Fisto Flash and staring right down into his face. Fisto yelps in surprise and leaps out of the ring. Deathbringer raises his arms in the centre of the ring, and the crowd pop gets even more intense. On the outside, Robo Stone fits the protective pad onto Fisto's steel hand while giving him a few pointers. Finally, Fisto gets into the ring, as Deathbringer removes the cowl and bends down through the ropes to give his ensemble to the ring attendant. Fisto uses the opportunity to rush Deathbringer and blast him with an elbow to the back of the head.] LM: Leave it to someone like Fisto Flash to attack someone from behind. BL: Well, there's nothing wrong with that... I remember this one guy at my hotel room... LM: No... Please stop! [The bell rings as Deathbringer is staggered by the assault of Fisto Flash. Fisto continues to throw forearms, elbows, and punches to Deathbringer's head. Fisto executes a backbreaker on the big man, and then follows up with a fist drop. Fisto begins a series of shots to 'Bringer's head with his padded fist.] LM: That steel fist may be padded, but it's still made of steel. It's going to hurt more than a normal fist. [Fisto continues to punch 'Bringer, and the ref begins a count. The count reaches 4 before Fisto gets up and argues with the ref. 'Bringer lays prone while the argument takes place. Fisto turns back to 'Bringer, who sits bolt upright. Big pop. Fisto rebounds off the ropes and executes a running forearm onto the big man. Bringer is once again staggered, so Fisto follows up with a hefty kick to the midsection. He then follows up with a suplex. Once again, 'Bringer is laid out on the mat, and Fisto walks over to the corner and begins working on the ties of the turnbuckle pad. The ref tries to step in, but Fisto pushes him out of the way. He finally gets the pad off and runs back over to Bringer and pulls him to his feet. Fisto tries to ram 'Bringer's head into the exposed turnbuckle, but 'Bringer blocks it with his foot. 'Bringer places Fisto into the corner and works him over with a series of shots. He then send Fisto running across the ring into the other corner, and Fisto hits hard and bounces back a bit. 'Bringer grabs Fisto by the throat and looks to the crowd. The crowd pops big as he exectutes a beautiful chokeslam. Bringer goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Fisto. 'Bringer picks Fisto up and sets him up for a tombstone, but Fisto shifts his balance and causes 'Bringer to fall. Fisto lands onto Bringer, dazing the big man. Fisto runs into the bare-turnbuckle corner and slumps there. 'Bringer sits up, and then moves over to the opposite corner. The crowd pops. 'Bringer runs across the ring to splash Fisto, but Fisto moves out of the way, allowing 'Bringer to hit the exposed steel full force. Fisto laughs and points to his head to a big heel pop.] BL: You see that, Larry? Fisto's got some brains. Deathbringer seems to have had his eaten by maggots while he was napping in a grave. LM: I'll admit that Fisto was lucky there, Becky. But Deathbringer isn't as dim as you think... You don't win that belt by being stupid. BL: Oh yeah... Subway Psycho was a rocket scientist, wasn't he? Every dog has his day, and Deathbringer's day is about to end. [Fisto is about to hoist Deathbringer into a piledriver, but 'Bringer breaks the attempt, looking stonily into Fisto's eyes. Big pop. Fisto goes for a punch, but 'Bringer blocks it and retaliates with a punch of his own. 'Bringer staggers Fisto and throws him into the ropes. 'Bringer rebounds off the ropes as well and attempts the Scythe flying clothesline, but Fisto dodges, causing 'Bringer to label the ref. 'Bringer tends to the ref, making sure he's not hurt, while Fisto notices what's going on and rips off the pad on his fist. Fisto runs over and crashes his metal fist into Bringer's head. Big heel pop. Bringer is laid out, and the heel popgets louder as Hangman, brandishing his lariat, and The Senator run down to ringside. The Senator runs over and begins to scuffle with Robo Stone as Hangman runs into the ring and hits Fisto and Deathbringer with the bell on the end of his rope. Fisto groggily goes down to one knee, and Handman slips the noose around Fisto's neck.] LM: Wait a minute... This can't be allowed to continue! BL: Who's going to stop it? You? You have a tough time with me, and I assure you that the Hangman is even tougher than I am! [The Hangman jumps over the top rope to the apron, and pulls Fisto to the inside of the ropes. He then jumps from the apron, pulling Fisto up onto the top rope. Fisto struggles and claws at the noose to no avail. Hangman laughs as Fisto is strangled while Robo gets pounded on by The Senator. Suddenly, Heavy Metal emerges from the locker room area to a surprising face pop.] LM: I didn't think I'd ever be happy to see these guys, but I am! BL: Me too... Look at those muscles. [Atlas runs and attacks the Hangman, while the smaller Apollo clocks The Senator with an elbow. Hangman releases his grip on the rope, and Fisto falls to the canvas. The Hangman and Atlas battle all the way up the aisle, while Apollo exectues a powerslam on the Senator on the floor. Big pop. The Deathbringer sits up at the same time the ref staggers to his feet. 'Bringer grabs Fisto, who still has the noose around his neck, and throws him into the ropes, setting him up for the Scythe. The cowbell rings as 'Bringer lands the maneuver, and he goes for the cover. The ref groggily counts... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding! 'Bringer gets up.] RA: Here is your winner, and still IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deathbringer! [The fight between the Senator and Apollo continues up the aisle to meet the melee between the Hangman and Atlas. The lights go out, and the crowd pops.] BL: Oh, come on... I'm really getting tired of this! [The lights come back, and the only atheletes left are Robo Stone and Fisto Flash in the ring. No Heavy Metal, no Hangman, no Senator, and no Deathbringer. Robo tends to his man and makes sure his neck is okay. Cut to the announcers' table.] LM: Something is going to have to be settled in this thing between the Stone Stable and the Senate. BL: None of those guys really like each other, and we're going to end up seeing some people get hurt if it doesn't stop... I say we let them just go ahead... People getting hurt makes for great entertainment. LM: Come on, Becky! I may not like any of those guys, but I'm sure not going to wish harm on any of them! Entertainment is one thing, but these are careers we're talking about here! BL: You had a career setback before, didn't you, Larry? I hear you applied for a job as a garbage man, but you weren't qualified. LM: Becky... BL: It's hard to believe, given all the trash that comes out of that gaping hole in your face. LM: [sighs] Well, we're just about out of time here, folks! What a night of action we've seen. And the Outlaw's not shown his face, either! I guess he must have retreated to the prairies for the week. In any case, he's sure to have seen Deathbringer's performance here tonight. The big man sure looks every inch the champion. There's more live IIWF action this Saturday Night, but for now, this is Larry Morton, for Becky LaRue, saying: goodnight, and thanks for joining us! [Cut back to the ring as spotlights swirl, and the IIWF logo spins on the canvas. Pan up to the huge IIWF banners hanging from the rafters of the Coliseum, and fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+