[Fade up on monochrome slow-motion footage of past matches in the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. Voice over:] TD: Eight men entered the tournament. After tonight, only three will remain. Tonight, two of the IIWF's brightest stars collide in the ring, both burning with the desire to be the first to wear the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship. [Images of Chris Quigley's victory over Brad Kinder pass across the screen: Quigley and Kinder brawling outside the ring; Quigley connecting with a superkick and pinning Kinder.] TD: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley: the established journeyman, wanting more than anything to add to his collection of gold belts. [Quigley's comments replace the voice over:] CQ: I don't take anyone lightly, but I take myself VERY seriously. Everyone knows my main goal is to be the BEST... and that takes work. It means you never let up, you never rest, you always keep your guard. I have studied and I have gotten ready for a fight. It's a fight that I REFUSE to LOSE! [Mix through to images of Billy Shakespeare's breathtaking match with the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi; Billy dodging the Starsault Press; Billy hitting the Curtain Call for the victory.] TD: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare: the scintillating performer. He has waited long enough in the wings; will he step into the spotlight tonight? [Shakespeare's comments replace the voice over:] BS: Chris Quigley: so far you've backed up your words; and there's been a lot to back up. I know that you're no stranger to the ring, but appearances elsewhere are rarely enough to prepare you for the Spotlight. [Images of Shakespeare and Quigley standing in the ring, split screen, fade into view. The voice over continues:] TD: Who will be fastest? Who will fly the highest? Who wants it most? We'll find out tonight, _LIVE_ on IIWF Saturday Night! [The images explode to make way for the opening graphics:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * IIWF Coliseum * 7 September 1996 [Cut through to interior shots of the IIWF Coliseum. Fireworks explode high in the rafters as the capacity crowd pops. Pan down past the swirling lights that accompany the pyrotechnic effects; Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts stand at the announcers' table.] TD: Welcome to another IIWF Saturday Night! We are _live_ and we are _loud_ here in the Coliseum tonight! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me as always is the inimitable "Soundbite" Steve Roberts... What a match it's going to be, Steve! Later on, we'll see the last semi-final in the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament: Billy Shakespeare taking on Chris Quigley. That's a "Match of the Year" candidate in prospect right there. SR: Are you kidding me?! I would rather watch Cheeseburger Elvis wrestle with his zip fly after a dose of laxatives than watch these two morons in the ring together. TD: The new blood here in the IIWF has certainly made quite an impact, not least Quigley himself, but also some of the other men we'll see in action tonight. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi will go up against the party maniac, Marty Warnett. What do you make of that match, Steve? SR: The talk on the grapevine is that Musashi's on the verge of dumping his manager, "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, and that would probably be the biggest mistake of his career. Musashi wouldn't even be here in the IIWF if it wasn't for McQueen, and without the wiles of his manager behind the scenes, I can see Musashi's shooting star fizzling out pretty quickly here. Warnett, on the other hand, isn't even worthy of my attention. TD: We'll also see "the Butcher" Otto Verhoeven in action tonight, taking on Vinny Cappicola. The Teutonic terror is one of the most dangerous men I can remember seeing in the ring, Steve. And you've felt his wrath... shall we say, first-hand. SR: Shut up, Dross. I've got a whole lot of respect for Verhoeven's capabilities in the ring, but he's one anal son of a gun when it comes to that woman of his. And what a woman! She's wasted on him... TD: Now, Steve! That's the kind of talk that got you those attractive bruises on your throat. SR: Huh! If it wasn't for my back injury... TD: [interrupting] ...you'd show him a thing or two in the ring. Yeah, we know, Steve. In other action, we'll see the debut of Archangel as he takes on the Prince of Darkness. The Archangel is certainly an impressive force, isn't he, Steve? SR: Well, I've yet to see a guy who stands at more than seven feet and weighs in at 400lbs fail to make an impact. But the question is: why would a monster like the Archangel hang around with a holy baloney like Bishop Right?! TD: Archangel is joining the quest to purge the IIWF of darkness, Steve, and he's certainly chosen a good place to start. That match is going to be a real battle. The IIWF Intercontinental Champion is also in action tonight, taking on Don Antonio. I have a feeling that the Don is going to take the gold here this week, Steve! SR: The Don hasn't had a title shot in all the time he's been competing here in the IIWF, and with good reason. That spaghetti-spewing loser has about as much chance of beating Tiger Claw tonight as... as... TD: ...as much chance as you have of getting anywhere with Nurse Heidi without trading in a dozen or so bones to the Butcher? SR: Okay, okay, don't rub it in. TD: Let's go to a special edition of Dinner With The Don, as the Family prepared for tonight's huge match with a hearty pasta dinner. [Cut to the Cafe Italia, where Don Antonio, Vinny Cappicola, their manager Salvatore Fiorello, and cousins Vito, Guido, Luigi, and Rocko are all enjoying a pasta dinner.] DA: Well, hello there, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another instalment of Dinna Wit Da Don. First things first... I want to address Tiger Claw and Brian Clown -- I mean, Lau. After your defeat at the hands of the rejuvenated Man of Steel, how could you not take our match seriously? I'd hope that Tiger Claw would start to wonder about his "firm" grasp on the IC belt and start worrying about every challenge he's got to face, but apparently he's preoccupied with the Alliance of Excellence. I'll have you know, Claw, that after I defeat you, you will wish that you'd taken our match a bit more seriously. SF: This is true. Who does Tiger Claw think he's facing, a rookie? The DON is an established superstar here in the IIWF, and you can ask any of the fans in the league to verify that. He is on a tear as of late having lost only one match in the last few months, so, Mr. Claw, you better get back in the gym and start watching those tapes of the DON repeatedly decimating his opponents. DA: You know, Lau, it gives me great pleasure to be facing a man in your arsenal. He will be the first to go down in the mass destruction of evil that will go occur here in the next few months. You see, never before have we had such a united front againt your rule-breakers, especially with that backstabbing Casey James leading the way. Finally we have gotten the one true dead weight off our side and are ready to come at you with a vengeance. VC: You tell'im DON. I'm gonna wipe dat German guy off da face of da earth and you can take out dat Sumo fat ass da same night. Dis is great. Da last time we did two hits in one night was back in Chicag... SF: Anyways Vinny, its good that you point out that two separate forces of evil will be destroyed in the beginning of what I shall term as the "cleansing" of the IIWF! DA: I got one other thing to say to some others here in the IIWF... If you want to join the other side then be a man and do it already. Mr. Kauffman, if you can't respect the people that are helping bring dignity to the IIWF then stop wasting our time and proclaim yourself as a force of evil already. This goes for everyone questioning truth and honor in the league. SF: Oh yeah, one more thing, Tiger Claw: when we meet, you will see the newest move in the DON's arsenal. I proclaim tonight that you will all see the DON perform Truth and Honor to win the IC championship from Tiger Claw... don't miss it! [Fade as the Family continue with their meal. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Truth and Honor is a very impressive move, Steve. The Don hoists his opponent up for a press slam, and then bounces off the ropes for extra momentum before executing a vicious backbreaker. It certainly looks devastating in training. SR: Do you honestly think that the Don is going to be able to knock enough stuffing out of Tiger Claw to execute that move? I don't think so, Dross. TD: We'll see... The IIWF World Tag Team Championship will also be on the line tonight, as the Armed Forces defend against Stunt Team USA. Aaron the Caddy is out of hospital and ready for a return to ringside after the brutal attack by the High Plains Drifters last Saturday, and we'll get another look at Ron and Steve's new manager, the "Wizard" Belgarath McEndeavour. SR: I still can't get over this "Wizard" guy. Blunder Team USA are going to open up a whole new catalogue of catastrophes here tonight, Dross. The Armed Forces are going to walk in with the gold, and they're going to walk out with the gold, too. TD: All that and more to come here tonight! But before we go up for our first live match, let's quickly recap the action we've already seen before coming on air. Two new tag teams made their debuts tonight as they faced one another in our opening matchup. We got these comments from Pain Inc. as they prepared for their match against the Arabian Knights: [Cut to Mr. Mic standing with his team in the locker room. He speaks:] "Listen up Air-headian Knights, or whatever the hell you call yourselves. How dare you speak about Pain Inc. in the report like that. I, Mr.Mic, manager extraordinaire, am sure to lead my team over your pathetic Saddam Hussein lovin' morons. Don't worry, Prince Abdul Jabbar and Moron -- oops, sorry Omar, your name is probably moron and you're just too damn stupid to spell it correctly -- I've got jobs for the both of you at the 7-11 down the street from my house. After the match, that's pretty much the only things you'll be able to do. Hey, never let it be said that Mr.Mic doesn't look out for his fellow man. Knights, you have no idea of what you've stirred up. Pain Inc. is not of this world, they are pure evil and they will take pleasure in beating the living hell out of both of you. Afterwards, Grand Vizier, I will hire you to drive our limousine.....actually no, you can manage the 7-11 your "men" will be working at....HA HA HA. BEWARE ARABIAN KNIGHTS SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES!!!!!" [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: The sentiments of Pain Inc. didn't go unheard by the Arabian Knights: - Prince Abdul Akbar and Omar, the ARABIAN KNIGHTS, defeated fellow newcomers PAIN INC. at the climax of a highly competitive match. Morningstar and Hellraiser were very impressive, but when Hellraiser found himself stranded on the outside, he was unable to prevent his partner being caught in the Jihad -- Omar trapped Morningstar in a full nelson, and the Prince delivered a vicious kick to Morningstar's head. The Prince made the cover, and Omar kept Hellraiser at bay. What do you make of these two new teams, Steve? SR: The Arabian Knights are an efficient tag team pairing, Dross. Each man complements the other in terms of size, power and technique. Mind you, the same could be said of Pain Inc., although there's one vital difference between the two teams -- Pain Inc. are a few sandwiches short of a picnic, to say the least. Those two guys are maniacs. TD: They're certainly not afraid to take risks, Steve. I guess it's a bit of a gamble -- in some matches, risks pay off, and in others, they cost you the victory. However, I don't think we've seen all that either of these teams have to offer. In other action: - The MAN OF STEEL defeated MAGUS when the lunatic attempted a powerbomb on Steel. Steel managed to convert the move, headscissoring Magus and flipping him across the ring, hooking both legs and kneeling on the madman's shoulders for the pin. To say that Magus was shocked would be something of an understatement. SR: Now there's another guy who's most definitely got a whole lot of screws loose. We had to get half of the equipment out here replaced after he lost that match. I know I'd be mad if I went down to defeat against the Man In Tights, but I don't think I'd rip up all the mats around the ring, throw the ringsteps around and start pulling all the broadcast stuff apart... This guy's a danger to himself and everybody else, Dross. TD: I'm in total agreement, Steve. Magus is out of control. SR: I'll let you in on a little bit of gossip, Dross. Word reaches me that Magus has won a Golden Grapple Award. TD: You're kidding?! It must be the award for "Most Unhinged"... SR: I'm afraid I can't say, Dross. But we'll find out this Thursday night... TD: Indeed! We're only a few days away from what promises to be a very entertaining evening. We'll talk some more about the Golden Grapple Awards later on. Moving on: - THE PUNSTER pinned THE CRIPPLER in a controversial match. Throughout the encounter, the Crippler verbally abused the Punster, which is highly uncharacteristic of him for one thing, but after he went down to the Pun-isher, he refused the consolation of long-time manager "Outlaw" Josey Wales, and stormed back up the aisle and straight out of the arena. This display rather overshadowed what was a fine performance from the witty Punster, who overcame the Crippler's anger and kept him out of his rhythm. I guess the Crippler feels badly about the way he's been treated here in the IIWF, Steve. SR: Hey, I'm not ecstatic about this, either. With the Crippler refusing to sign a new contract and leaving the IIWF, the Posse is reduced to just the High Plains Drifters. For such a long time, Josey Wales had everything in his hands -- but now things have fallen apart. TD: What goes around comes around, Steve. Wales has gotten away with all kinds of things here in the IIWF for a long time, and now payback time has begun. If that was the last time we see the Crippler in the ring, and it very well could be, then Josey Wales needs to be thinking about how he's going to get himself back on top. Let's move on: - FISTO FLASH defeated Senate affiliate MR. DAMAGE on a disqualification, when the Hangman once again came to the ring and attacked his hated enemy. Fisto had Mr. Damage in position for the Knucklebomb when he was attacked from behind by the Hangman. Although the referee was quick to disqualify Damage, the melee in the ring continued, and it was only when Heavy Metal once again made the save that order was restored. Some kind of injunction should be served on these two to stop them going at it every chance they get. SR: I can only imagine that Fisto Flash said something _very_ unpleasant about the Senator's mother. I wouldn't want the Hangman breathing down my neck, Dross, or breaking it, for that matter. TD: This situation is bound to come to a head some time soon, and when it does, I don't even want to be in the same state. SR: That can be arranged, Dross. Why don't you just stay home instead of coming out on the road this week? TD: And miss all the great IIWF action coming up on the tour?! No way! - THE SANDMAN defeated the MASKED MARAUDER with ease in what was little more than a quick workout for the leader of the Dark Knights. He pulled out all the heavy guns in his arsenal, taking the Marauder apart piece by piece, until he hit his Nightmare modified chokeslam for the victory. The Sandman has been making a lot of very ambiguous comments recently, Steve. SR: I think he's been spending too much time in the dark, Dross. I understand that he's trying to encourage a bidding war for the services of the Dark Knights between the two warring factions here in the IIWF. Will they side with the Outlaw and the Syndicate, or will they side with Yawnbringer, Kauffman and all the other jerks that run their mouths nineteen to the dozen round here? If he's got any sense, we all know which side he'll choose. TD: It seems to me that the Dark Knights are only out for their own interests, and I don't think anybody can trust them. They're the mavericks of the IIWF right now. In other action: - HAKIRO MATSUOKO, accompanied by Brian Lau, displayed the benefits of his spiritual alignment when he faced "NIFTY" NED NORTON. This was Ned's first appearance in the ring since the attack from the Outlaw J.W. Hardin, but some would say he needed more time off. Hakiro completely dominated Norton with some stunning aerial tactics combined with some well executed mat techniques. Mastuoko finished the one-sided match with his new Butsumetsu Drop. TD: I am at a loss for words when it comes to this new finisher, Steve. SR: Tim Dross being at a loss for words... Go figure. But I must say that the Butsumetsu Drop is intense. TD: Let's let the fans decide. Here's a clip of the ending moments of that match. [Cut to Hakiro and Norton in the ring. Norton is staggering to his feet as Matsuoko taunts him mercilessly. As Norton gets up, Hakiro unleases a quick spinning leg lariat, flooring Norton near one corner. Hakiro goes to the opposite top tunbuckle and stands, holding his hands together in a meditative state. He then yells and launches into the air, spreading out his legs and arms. He spins a full 540 degrees horizontally to splash down on Norton. The ref counts... 1 - 2 - 3... Ding! Ding! Ding! Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Wow. The Butsumetsu Drop. Incidentally, folks, Butsumetsu refers to the unluckiest day of the year on the Buddhist calender. SR: Whatever it means, it's going to come in handy when Matsuoko and Musashi finally meet. TD: In the final match before we came on air: - The HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS proved that there is some blue sky in sight for manager Josey Wales as they cruised to victory over the ACES OF THE DEEP. "Shark" and "Piranha" put up a good fight, but they weren't a match for Pale and Easy, who came to the ring signalling that they were on a mission for the gold. At least Wales still knows how to get the Drifters fired up, Steve. SR: And when the Drifters are fired up, Dross, somebody's gonna get burned. Tonight, it was those Goons of the Deep, who proved that when faced with a sink or swim situation in the IIWF, they'd just as soon sink without trace. Who knows who the Drifters will take out next week? The Armed Forces had better lock their doors at night, Dross. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Now it's time to go up to the ring for tonight's opening encounter! We're going to see "Nuclear" John Bomber in action as he faces the man who humiliated him just over a week ago on IIWF Midweek Mayhem, the self-monikered "English Sensation", Robski. SR: And I'm looking forward to more of the same here tonight! Let's go! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Nuclear" John Bomber vs. Robski -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The last time we saw these guys in a match together, well, it wasn't really a match. SR: Yeah, maybe this time John Bomber won't be too scared to show up... TD: What!? I don't know what you're talking about. Robski obviously set Bomber up the last time. SR: Yeah, yeah... Well, apparently, Bomber has a new "hardcore" element to his style. I'll believe _that_ one when I see it. RA: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, Hailing from Birmingham, England, Rooobskiii! [Robski's music plays over the PA as he makes his way down to the ring. He rubs his neck as if its stiff, then begins to laugh. He enters the ring and hops to the second rope, taunting the fans.] RA: His opponent hailing from Three Mile -- aargh! [John Bomber has run down to the ring like a mad man, storming past Sparkplug Lee. He pulls Robski down from the turnbuckle. He kicks him repeatedly and then throws him over the top rope.] SR: Three Mile Aargh? What is that, some new alternative band? TD: [sighs] [Bomber follows Robski out of the ring and picks up a chair. He stands over Robski, who is attempting to get up, and crowns him with it. Robski goes down again, and Bomber throws the chair aside. Bomber gets onto the apron and throws himself, elbow first, onto Robski. Big pop. Bomber goes to the timekeeper's table and pushes officials out of the way to get the bell. He struggles with one feisty official for a while, and finally gets the bell. Bomber turns to face Robski, who is standing behind him. Robski kicks Bomber in the gut, making him drop the bell, which rings as Robski throws John into the ring. Robski follows...] TD: Well, I guess we'll take that ringing of the bell to signal the start of the match. SR: What is the crowd chanting? Hold on... E..... C...... TD: Never mind that! Look in the ring! [Robski issues a series of boots to Bomber's head, then picks him up to a vertical base. He throws Bomber into the ropes, and then backdrops him on the rebound, sending Bomber over the top rope and a good distance up the aisle. Big pop. Robski hops out and grabs Bomber. He suplexes him on the concrete, and then throws down a crowd barrier. Robski goes to pick up Bomber for a slam, but Bomber blocks. Bomber reverses it, and slams Robski down onto the barrier. The clang of the barricade barely cuts through the noise of the "hardcore" fans getting into the action...] TD: Come on. This is supposed to be a wrestling match. So far these guys have just been trying to hit each other with any foreign object in the ringside area. SR: Yeah, ain't it great? [Bomber rolls into the ring to stop the count, and then rolls back out. He walks up the isle to grab Robski in a side headlock, and then runs with him to the ring. He rams Robski's head into the apron, and Robski is clearly busted open as his forehead begins to bleed. Bomber looks to the crowd, asking if they want to see more, and the crowd makes it pretty obvious that they do. Robski begins to try to crawl away, searching for something under the ring. Bomber goes to grab him again, but Robski pulls a wrench from under the ring and clocks Bomber with it. Robski rolls into the ring to stop the count, and then goes back out to grab Bomber. He pulls the limp Bomber up the isle almost to the curtain to the locker room area and drops him. Robski then searches around and finds a power cord for one of the lighting rigs, then ties both of Bomber's feet up with it. The ref has counted to 5 by this point. Robski makes sure the knot is tight, then runs back to the ring and sits nonchalantly on the top turnbuckle. The ref continues the count, and Bomber fights against the cord to get to the ring. Unfortunately, the cord is still attached to a fairly heavy lighting system, and Bomber is unable to make it back to the ring before the ref reaches ten. Ding! Ding! The ref raises Robski's arm in victory, and Robski taunts Bomber from the ring. Bomber is obviously a little put out.] TD: Well, well... What a confrontation we just saw. About four seconds was spent in the ring, but we did see new and interesting uses for some common objects found around the ring. SR: Hey, Dross, get with it. It's stuff like this that really gets people talking. TD: Hmmmph... [Robski makes his way back up the aisle, and makes sure he's out of the bound Bomber's reach. Bomber tries to grab Robski, but the cord around his feet seems to make that action difficult. Robski gives Bomber an eyeful of his first and second fingers, then goes backstage. Bomber gets annoyed, and works on the cord on his feet. The microphones pick up Bomber saying "Damn reef knots!" Bomber finally gets free and runs into the locker room area to a big pop.] TD: Well, it looks as if these two are going to need a cage match... Not to keep outsiders from coming in, but to keep THEM inside! We have to see some results here! SR: I'd be all for seeing these two go at it again. I enjoyed that! TD: You would. Before we go back up to the ring, let's go backstage to get comments from "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley as he prepares for tonight's main event match with Billy Shakespeare: [Cut to Chris Quigley sitting in the locker room. Quigley is holding a copy of "A Midsummer Night's Dream" in his hands. He looks up at the camera and lays the book on the bench.] CQ: You know, I've been hearing a lot of things about Billy Shakespeare. It's Billy Shakespeare this...Billy Shakespeare that... so I went to the IIWF video vault and obtained a copy of every single match he has wrestled in the IIWF. I've seen his moves, and I know what he can do. Is it impressive? Yeah, it is. But I can not only equal his performance, I'm gonna surpass it. This match is gonna calm every single doubt that is actually left about what I can do, and what I claim I'm gonna do. If taking out Brad Kinder, despite Otto Verhoeven interfering, wasn't enough, tonight I'm gonna kick some a$$. It's gonna be my toughest fight in the IIWF... maybe one of the toughest of my career... but when the final bell sounds and the curtain goes down... it's gonna be ME standing in the spotlight, son, not YOU. You think you're gonna put ME down? [Quigley points to the book.] You are DREAMING! And as for The Butcher? Well... I wouldn't call you a butcher... more like a MEAThead. I'll get to him in due time. But tonight, Billy Shakespeare, I'm gonna wipe you out! [Quigley sits back down, knocks the book off the bench onto the floor, and kicks it across the room, then proceeds to open his equipment bag as the camera fades.] TD: That great match coming up later on, folks. First let's go up to the ring and see the Butcher in action as he takes on Vinny Cappicola. SR: This is going to be a slaughter, Dross. Verhoeven's going to make sure that the Family don't make it anywhere near that title match later on tonight. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Vinny Cappicola -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: This should be an interesting one to watch. Vinny is the big enforcer of the Family, and Otto Verhoeven has really made an impressive showing since his arrival in our organization. SR: I think what you meant to say is Herr Verhoeven is one of the best atheletes in the IIWF today, and Vinny is a no-talent feeb. TD: Trying to get on Verhoeven's good side? SR: Better believe it. TD: Well, from what I hear, the winner of this match will have their national anthem played. I just hope Vinny wins this one. [A spotlight falls on Sparkplug Lee, who seems to working on pulling the seat of his underwear from his behind.] RA: Oh boy... Ummm... Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied by Don Antonio and Salvatore Fiorello, weighing in at 295lbs, here is: Viiinnnnyyy Caaappicooolllaaaa! [The theme from "The Godfather" begins to play on the PA, and the Family walks into the aisle to a sizable pop. Don and Vinny walk down to the ring high-fiving fans and shaking hands. They stop at a kid wearing the new Don Antonio dinner napkin complete with spaghetti stains tucked into his shirt. They give the kid the thumbs up, and continue on their way.] RA: His opponent, hailing from Essen, Germany, accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, here is Oooooottooooo Veeeeeeerhoeeeeeveennnnn! [The theme from Halloween blares out from the speakers as Otto and Heidi make their way down to ringside. Otto slanders the crowd, calling them fat, lazy American slobs.] TD: I apologize for the language of Herr Verhoeven, ladies and gentlemen... SR: Why? He only speaks the truth... TD: So, what do you think of what Heidi is wearing, Steve? SR: Shut up... Just shut up... You're going to get me in trouble again. [Otto steps through the ropes, and Heidi walks over in front of the broadcast booth. She seems not to notice that she's posing for a drooling Steve Roberts. Heidi glances over at Steve, then laughs, and walks away.] SR: You know... I think... Ummm... No, forget it. [The bell rings, starting the match. Otto starts off by getting into Vinny's face and informing him just how little Otto thinks of him. Vinny loses his cool and shoves Otto, who comes back with a shoulder tackle. The two men bounce off each other. Otto goes off the ropes and tries another shoulder tackle, but Vinny just stands and takes it. Vinny flexes his arms, and Verhoeven looks out to the crowd with an impressed look on his face. He holds up a hand to initiate a test of strength, and Vinny accepts. They link hands, and Otto jams a thumb into the eye of Vinny with his other hand. Otto uses the position to twist Vinny's arm, and drives his elbow down, causing Vinny to shout out in pain. Otto kicks Vinny's ribs a few times, doubling the big man over. Otto locks a front face lock, and then somewhat sloppily executes a DDT. Otto goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Vinny.] TD: Not the best DDT there... It might hurt the big man, but it's not going to put him out. SR: I don't think even the best DDT would affect Vinny... That head is solid concrete. [Otto gets up and begins to slap the groggy Vinny in the face, calling him all sorts of names. Otto picks Vinny up by the throat in a display of strength, and the ref counts. The count of 5 is reached, and Otto drops Vinny. The ref gets into an argument with Otto, and Otto turns his back on Vinny to give the ref a good talking to. As the argument goes on, Vinny slowly gets to his feet. After calling the ref a "scheisskopf," Otto turns back towards Vinny, who meets him with a hard clothesline, which downs the German. The crowd pops as Vinny picks Otto up and throws him into the ropes, and on the rebound, hoists him up onto his shoulders. Vinny begins to spin the big man around, then drops him with authority. The crowd pop is strangely negative, and Vinny looks confused. He then realizes that Randy Acorn is coming down the aisle.] TD: Oh, wonderful... What is he doing here? SR: I don't know... He seems interested in the match, and he's not coming right down to the ring, so who cares? [Vinny walks over to Don Antonio, asking what's going on. Don tells Vinny to concentrate on the match, and he and Sal go up the aisle to confront Acorn. Vinny goes back to Otto, picks him up, and executes a gutwrench suplex. Otto goes down hard. Meanwhile, in the isle, the Family confronts Acorn, who stands with arms open wide and hands up. Acorn tries to convince the Family that he just wants to watch the competition. Sal and Don begin to tell Acorn that if he doesn't leave, they'll remove him, and Acorn begins to nod his head, then walks back up the aisle. The Family returns to ringside to see Vinny throwing Otto into the ropes and delivering a clothesline. On the outside, Heidi moves towards Sal, who looks over. Don moves over to where Sal is standing, and a shouting match ensues between the two parties. The ref moves over to see what the commotion is. In the ring, Vinny measures Otto up for an elbow drop, but Randy Acorn flies down to the ring and smacks Vinny in the head with some object in his hand. Vinny goes down, and Acorn runs back to the locker room area. Vinny seems to be out, and Otto gets to his feet. Heidi ceases her yelling and walks to the other side of the ring. In the ring, Otto picks the Sicilian up by the throat, and executes the Slaughterslam. Instead of going for the cover, Otto turns to the crowd and showboats for a moment, signalling for the Meat Hook. Otto sets Vinny up on the top rope, and then chokeslams him to the mat. Otto goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding!] TD: That was horrible. Heidi distracted the Family while Randy Acorn labelled Vinny to give Otto Verhoeven the win. I wouldn't doubt that this was planned all along. SR: Oh, come on. It's not Heidi's fault that she turns men's heads... It's all a coincidence. Let's get the official word from Sparkplug... RA: Here is your... [Otto grabs the microhone, and instructs Lee to leave the ring.] OV: Listen here. The winner of this match was to get his national anthem played. Cue up "Deutschland Uber Alles"! [The strains of the German national anthem begins to play as the Family go to collect their man in the ring. Otto blocks their path, pushing them off the apron. Don Antonio jumps back up, and Otto grabs him by the throat. Heidi runs over and locks a cross-face chickenwing on Sal. Otto chokeslams Don over the rope and into the ring, laying him out. He then walks over to the prone Vinny and holds up his head, screaming the lyrics of Deutchland Uber Alles into Vinny's face. Otto gives Vinny a few slaps before he lets him down. Otto walks from the ring, giving Don a few shots as he walks by, and meets with Heidi on the outside. Sal is still locked in the Sedative, and Otto gives him a few slaps for good measure. Heidi lets the manager go, and the pair walk back up the aisle triumphantly while their national anthem plays. In the ring, Don Antonio gets to his feet and tends to Vinny.] TD: That was disgusting! Somebody's got to put that big oaf in his place! SR: You're right, Dross. Vinny has just gone too far! Could you imagine that!? TD: Steve, you amaze me. How could you condone something like what Otto Verhoeven just did? SR: Just call me a fan, I guess. Anyone who slaps out the entire Family deserves my respect. TD: Not to mention threatening you with bodily harm. SR: Damn right, Tim. TD: Well, I just hope that attack won't impair the Don's chances later on when he goes up against Tiger Claw for the Intercontinental Championship. Up next we'll see that big clash between the newcomer Archangel and the Prince of Darkness. Let's go back to the Dark Knights' locker room as they prepare for this match: [Cut to the locker room. PoD stands in the centre of the shot, flanked by the Sandman and Dr. Faustus.] PoD: Archangel... it's time for me to give you your first wrestling lesson: one may only enter the ring when one has a signed contract in the match. In just a few moments, you'll get your second wrestling lesson: How to take a loss at the hands of POD. You don't scare me big man. You don't even faze me. Keep your boys at home, and we'll see who will come out on top. I didn't become a nine times World champ by losing to the likes of a fat slob like you, and I don't plan on starting now. See you in the ring. [The trio head out of the shot. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: The Dark Prince certainly seems ready for action, Steve. SR: You bet he is. He's going to kick that seven foot ass of Archangel's all over the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Archangel vs. Prince of Darkness -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: We're finally going to get the chance to see this new Archangel in a sanctioned match against the Prince Of Darkness. SR: We should be prepared for a real boogerslapper... TD: That's _slobberknocker_, Steve... Why does it seem like I'm the only person who knows how to use that term? SR: I guess you're special, Tim. SL: Ladies and gentlemen, this bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Parts Unknown, accompanied by Dr. Faustus and the Sandman, here is Prinnnnnnce of Daaaaaarrrrknesss! ["Boogie Man" plays throughout the Coliseum, and Dr. Faustus, Sandman, and Prince of Darkness make their way down to the ring. PoD looks rather focused, and his two comrades encourage him the whole way down to the ring.] TD: We could very well be looking at the only two members of the Dark K Knights. With the Phantom gone, and the rumors of Brad Kinder's retirement, the future of this stable looks rather bleak. SR: Don't be so sure, Tim. From the beginning, the Sandman has said that there were other members already in the IIWF. Who knows what we'll see. RA: His opponent, Hailing from Purgatory, accompanied by his manager Bishop Right, he is the Aaaaaaarchaaaaaaangelllll! [The Colesium seems to get brighter as the Bishop leads his man to the ring. The big man moves surprisingly quickly down the aisle, and the fans are just in awe of the Archangel's presence.] TD: This guy is truly phenomenal. Look at the size of him! SR: You know, I don't understand you, Tim. You go on about how great these little Cruiserweight brats are, and then you turn around and go on about how great this guy is because he's big. Make up your mind. [Archangel enters the ring, and he and PoD stare each other down in the centre. Words are exchanged, and PoD lets loose with a right hand, then another, and then another. The bell sounds. The Archangel seems not to be staggered too much by the shots, and retaliates with a right of his own. PoD falls to the mat.] TD: Whoa! what a shot! [PoD rolls out of the ring and has a small conference with Dr. Faustus and Sandman. The three of them talk for a while, and Archangel executes a flying tackle through the second and third ropes. Big pop. All three men get a piece of the maneuver, and they go down. Archangel picks up Dr. Faustus and Sandman, one in each hand, and crashes them both together, sending them back to the floor. Archangel grabs PoD and rolls him into the ring, then follows. PoD is waiting, however, and kicks at Archangel a few times as he enters the ring. Archangel is slowed a bit, and PoD capitalizes with a power bomb attempt. He has a little trouble getting Archangel into position, but struggles with the weight, and manages to pull the maneuver off. The sound of the impact echoes through the stadium, and the crowd pops. Archangel stays down for a while, and PoD follows up with a stiff elbow drop. Archangel twitches slightly, but stays down.] SR: Lot of good that big size did Archangel there... Looks like PoD found his weakness. TD: I'm quite surprised that PoD could lift the big man for that power bomb, but I'm forced to agree with you, Steve. This Archangel seems to be a powerhouse, but doesn't appear to be able to take a lot of punishment. [PoD showboats to the crowd and laughs at Bishop Right. He starts in on the manager, "Is that your best? Quite the meal ticket you got there!" As PoD is jawing with Bishop Right, Archangel sits up, and then fluidly gets to his feet. The crowd begins to pop, and PoD thinks it's because the crowd agrees with him. He nods, and laughs as Archangel closes in. PoD turns around and locks his hand on Archangel's throat. PoD laughs confidently, then the Archangel grabs _him_ by the throat. PoD's eyes go wide, and his grip on Archangel's throat loosens. Frantically, PoD motions to Faustus and Sandman, and they run to the other side of the ring to confront Bishop Right. In the ring, Archangel hoists PoD high into the air.] TD: I wonder what's going through Prince Of Darkness' mind right now... SR: Probably, "Hey, I can see my house from here!" [Archangel slams PoD down to the mat and goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Archangel gets up as he notices Faustus and Sandman attacking Bishop Right. Sandman is holding the manager as Dr. Faustus issues some kicks to the gut and some slaps to the face. The crowd pops as Archangel goes to the outside. He moves around the ringside area to where the commotion is, and throws Dr. Faustus to the ground. The ref has already started counting. PoD rolls around in the ring as Archangel gets a hold of the Sandman and pries him away from Bishop Right. Archangel gives a few right hand shots straight into Sandman's face, then lifts him up for a powerslam. The ref reaches 6. Archangel executes the Powerslam and goes to re-enter the ring, but Dr. Faustus jumps onto his back and tries to choke the big man. Archangel stops and peels the small manager off of his back, then holds him in front of his face. The bell rings as the ref reaches 10, and Dr. Faustus begins to laugh. Archangel seems unamused as he launches Dr. Faustus into the air, causing him to sail the better part of the length of the ring. Archangel then tends to his manager.] TD: No! Not a countout! This battle needs some closure! SR: A win is a win... Just because you don't like it doesn't mean it's less valid. RA: Here is your winner, by countout: the Prince of Darkness! [The ref raises the arm of the barely conscious PoD in the ring, while Archangel carries Bishop Right in his arms up the aisle and back to the locker room area. Dr. Faustus and the Sandman try to get to their feet, but the punishment dished out is too much for them.] TD: I think we all know who should have won this one, Steve. Look at this. All three men are laid out all over the place! SR: So what? Whose arm got raised? The Dark Prince's. End of discussion. [The Dark Knights stagger out of the ring and up the aisle, receiving the jeers of the crowd.] TD: I doubt that this is the "End of discussion," Steve... We're bound to see some more of this battle in the weeks to come. Do you think you can cope for a few minutes while I go up to the ring to get comments from Tiger Claw? SR: Don't insult my intelligence, Dross. Besides, I've been looking forward to hearing what Lau's got to say about that spaghetti-munching moron, Don Antonio. [Dross gets up and leaves the broadcast table, taking a microphone from Sparkplug Lee as he climbs the ringsteps. He enters the ring and clears his throat:] TD: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my... pleasure... to introduce to you at this time two men who have some comments concerning the Intercontinental Championship match we'll see later on tonight; they are the Champion, Tiger Claw, and his manager, Brian Lau! [Tiger Claw's music starts up, and the two of them head down the aisle. As they walk to the ring, they stop by each person in possesion of an IIWF endorsed product. First, a kid wearing MOS underwear over his pants, then an older boy wearing a Fisto Flash fist pad. Second, they stop at an older man sporting a Simon Lebec mock-Emmy Award. They make it to a girl waving a Deathbringer light-up keychain, and Brian pulls out a pad and starts taking notes. They then saunter to the teenage boy wearing an official Don Antonio dinner napkin tucked into his shirt, complete with spaghetti stains, where Tiger Claw turns to Brian and starts complaining. Brian calms him down, and they enter the ring.] TD: Welcome, Mr. Lau, and Mr. Claw. I see you're admiring the official IIWF merchandise! BL: Oh, yes... Admiring, sure. Tell me something, Dross... Why is it that all these contenders have these wonderous little gadgets to make royalties on, and yet The only two time Intercontinental champion in IIWF history, the _people's champion_, has yet to be offered a trinket with his name on it? [There's a big heel pop after the words "People's champion".] TD: Well... you'd... ahhh... You'd have to take that up with the merchandising office, Mr. Lau... BL: I don't have to. I'll tell you why. Because my man here is not your typical, strong featured, red-blooded American. He had the misfortune of being born in a country that is not this one. Ever since we made our debut in the IIWF, we've been referred to as, and I quote, "Chicken chow mein eaters," "Hong Kong Fooey guys," and countless other racial slurs. The people are jealous of Tiger Claw because even though he may not be big, like a typical American, he is powerful. You people are jealous that Tiger Claw has the strength of will to compete with such monsters, and succeed in holding the IC title not once, but twice. We have the right to make the extra money just as much as someone who's not even in title contention, such as, say Don Antonio. TD: Now, come on, Brian! Mr. Antonio is slated for a match against Tiger Claw later tonight, yet you say he's _not_ a contender? BL: Right. Don Antonio knew what buttons to push, and came out and cornered Tiger Claw into signing a contract. Tiger Claw wanted to do so to save face. He didn't believe that Don was worthy of the shot, but gave it to him anyway. Also, there's been a lot of people, you included, _Mister_ Dross, who say that Tiger Claw is ducking challengers. This is not so. Tiger Claw is ready to take anyone on, it's just that the IIWF follows certain rules. TD: So what you are saying is that you are not worried about the Don's chances of winning the title tonight. BL: No, I'm not. But don't expect Tiger Claw to go lightly on Mr. Antonio. Tiger Claw will perform as if he's fighting someone like Dan Kauffman. Tiger Claw will not let up at all, and therefore teach Mr. Antonio a lesson in manners. The Don has come out and made wild accusations of us paying off officials. I can say right now that we have never done so, and we are _insulted_ by what the Don has said. Like a typical American, Don Antonio is seeing conspiracies where there are none. He is paranoid. We will prove to him that the one thing that brought this belt to Tiger Claw's waist was pure talent. It's that simple. TD: Well, thank you, Mr. Lau, and thank you, Mr. Claw, for coming out and clearing that up. BL: Don't mention it. We will be back out shortly to demonstrate the power that Tiger Claw posesses. [Tiger Claw's music begins again as Lau and Claw throw Dross a scornful glance before leaving the ring and heading back up the aisle to a big heel pop. Dross rejoins Roberts at the announcers' table.] SR: I can't wait for that match, Dross. It's going to be great! TD: You're right, Steve. It promises to be a highly-athletic match. And speaking of athletic matches, let's go back up to the ring to see the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi take on the rookie Marty Warnett. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Marty Warnett vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring once more.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 211lbs, here is: the "Enigmaaaa" Takeeeezooo Muuusaaaaaashi! [Mixed reception for Musashi as the lights in the Coliseum drop and the strange, cosmic music drifts across the arena. A spotlight follows Musashi down to the ring, making the silver stars on his face and on his pants sparkle. He ignores the fans as he walks to the ring. He bounds to the top rope, and somersaults into the ring. Pop!] TD: Musashi is still without his manager, "Big Bucks" Don McQueen. But what an electric superstar he is! SR: He's a fantastic wrestler, Dross, but as I said earlier, dumping his manager could be the most stupid thing he's ever done. SL: And introducing his opponent, hailing from Cardiff, Wales, weighing in at 245lbs, here is: Maaaaaaaarty Waaaaaaarneeeeett! [Moderate pop for Warnett as he appears at the head of the aisle. He raises his arms to the crowd, and then walks down to the ring, hi-fiving the fans on the way. He climbs the ring steps, and vaults over the top rope. He walks up to Musashi and stares him in the eyes. The referee signals for the bell to start the match. Ding! Ding! Ding! The two men circle one another, and Musashi whistles a few high kicks past Warnett's head. Warnett steps backwards and grins, before lunging in with a collar and elbow tie-up. He whips Musashi into the ropes, and attempts a clothesline. Musashi ducks underneath the attempt and hits Warnett with a flying spinning leg lariat as he comes off the ropes. Warnett goes down, but gets back to his feet and staggers against the ropes. Musashi leaps with another leg lariat, sending both Warnett and himself over the ropes to the outside. Musashi bounds back to his feet, climbs up onto the apron, and then splashes Warnett on the arena floor! Pop!] TD: What a start from Musashi! He wants to end this one quickly! [Musashi drags Warnett to his feet and rolls him back into the ring. Musashi throws himself over the top rope onto Warnett with a leg drop. He covers - 1 - 2 - kickout! He whips Warnett into the corner and goes to the opposite corner himself. He performs a handspring as he launches himself at Marty, and attempts to drive an elbow into his opponent, but Warnett dodges out of the way, and Musashi hits the buckle hard. Warnett quickly capitalises, hitting Musashi with a German suplex - count - 1 - 2 - Musashi just kicks out! Warnett whips Musashi into the ropes and hits him with a clothesline, which sends Musashi through 360 degrees! Pop! Warnett drags Musashi to his feet and executes a belly-to-belly suplex, and then climbs to the top rope. Musashi gets to his feet and is caught by a flying frankensteiner from Warnett! Pop! Warnett covers - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: The pace of this match is just blinding! Both men are pulling out some tremendous manoeuvres! [Warnett drags Musashi to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He attempts a clothesline, but Musashi ducks underneath the attempt, and bounces off the ropes again. He slides between Warnett's legs, and as the flustered Warnett turns around, Musashi hits a vicious reverse crescent kick which catches Marty square on the chin. Warnett goes down and Musashi covers - 1 - 2 -- kickout! Musashi drags Warnett to his feet and hits him with a volley of reverse knife edge chops. Warnett is staggered, but fires back with some hard right hands of his own. Musashi goes down, and Warnett drops an elbow on the Enigma. He applies a reverse chinlock on his opponent, and Musashi begins to flag. The referee checks Musashi, but the Enigma refuses to submit. Marty increases the pressure on the hold, and Musashi's eyes become duller as the oxygen is cut off to his brain. The referee raises Musashi's arm once, and it falls to the mat; he raises it a second time, and again it falls.] TD: If the Enigma's arm falls to the canvas one more time, it's all over for Musashi in this match. SR: Much as I dislike that rookie Warnett, he's effectively slowed down the pace of this match and he's keeping Musashi on the mat where he's not so dangerous. [The referee raises Musashi's hand for the final time, and it remains in the air. Musashi begins fighting to his feet, and drives an elbow into Warnett's midsection. He sends him for the ride into the corner, and Warnett hits hard. He staggers backwards, and Musashi dashes past him into the same corner, leaps to the top buckle with a single bound, and hits a reverse moonsault on Warnett in what looks like a single movement! Big pop! Warnett is quickly to his feet and whips the Enigma into the ropes again, but he misses with a clothesline attempt, and as he turns, he is hit by another flying leg kick from Musashi which lays him out on the mat. The Enigma bounds to the top turnbuckle again, and launches himself with his Starsault Press! Collective gasp from the crowd as Musashi flies through the air with two complete somersaults before crashing onto Warnett. The referee counts - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Mixed pop as the referee raises Musashi's arm.] TD: What a match! That final offensive flurry caught Warnett off-guard, and once the Enigma hits you with the incredible impact of that Starsault Press, there's no way you're going to get up. SR: That sudden surge of resilience is what makes Musashi so dangerous. Warnett just isn't in the same class. TD: That's not fair, Steve. Every match Marty fights is a learning experience for him. SR: It sure is. He's finding out all the different ways he can get his butt kicked. [Musashi bails out of the ring and heads up the aisle, ignoring the fans once more. Warnett slowly gets to his feet and applauds his opponent before leaving the ring and heading up the aisle himself, to a moderate pop from the fans.] TD: Well, we've just seen two relative newcomers in action, and now we're going to hear from another man who hopes to make a big impact here in the IIWF... [Cut to a dark room. A man walks in carrying a candle, the only light in the room. He stands facing away from the camera, and in the flickering light, a tattoo of a giant eagle across his back is dimly visible. The man speaks, slowly and in a low voice:] "Fire is the great cleanser of the universe. It is the terrible agent of justice which burns away the evil which threatens us." [He turns toward the camera, holding the candle below his face so the light shines up to him from below.] "There is evil in the IIWF. I have come to cleanse it. I shall be the light which shines through the black. Those who would do evil, fear me, for my justice is dreadful in its majesty." [The lights go on in the room, whose walls are bare. The camera slowly zooms in on the figure in the room, who is dressed in karate pants. His upper body and face are heavily scarred.] "As you can see, I have known the power of the inferno. It has destroyed me, killed my flesh, shattered my being. Then it remade me, empty and alone, with a mission. Look upon me and see the hottest emotions ever brazened into flesh. Look upon me and see the spirit of vengeance personified." [The lights go out in the room again, and he blows out the candle. All is darkness.] "Outlaw. Tiger Claw. The Syndicate. Prince of Darkness. You are the spirit of corruption in the IIWF, and I am coming for you. You will know me as the desert wind. My spirit is that of the flame, my totem that of the eagle. Darkness, FALL BEFORE ME!" [Flames suddenly leap to life throughout the room. The figure has turned around. A tattoo of an eagle covers his back. He stands motionless in the flames.] "I am The White Phoenix, and I am coming!" [He raises his arms up and drops to his knees on the flaming floor. Fade. Cut back to the announcers' table.] SR: [sarcastic] Great! An arsonist coming to the IIWF! TD: Very little is known about the White Phoenix, folks, but that was a genuinely disturbing image. SR: You'd better watch that polyester wig of yours around that guy. He looks like he might be a little... explosive. TD: No doubt we'll hear a great deal more about the White Phoenix in the coming days. But for now, the matches just keep getting bigger and bigger, Steve. Up next is the clash for the IIWF World Tag Team titles, as the reigning champions, the Armed Forces, defend against the revitalised Stunt Team USA. SR: Revitalised?! They get some joker in a pointy hat as their new "manager", and I use the term loosely, and suddenly they have a greater chance of beating the Armed Forces? I don't think so! TD: We'll find out soon enough! Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Armed Forces vs. Stunt Team USA =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee hands a small package to Lisa, and winks at her before taking centre ring.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF World Tag Team Championship! [Pop] Introducing first, the challengers, led to the ring by the "Wizard" Belgarath McEndeavour, at a combined weight of 588lbs, here are Ron Fire and Steve Forget: Stuuuunt Teeeeeaam USA! [Big pop as "I'm Not Dead" rocks out over the PA and Ron and Steve appear at the head of the aisle, led down to the ring by the Wizard, who is carrying a quarterstaff. They hi-five the fans on their way to the ring, vault over the top rope, and then perform a display of backflips in the ring to another big pop from the crowd.] TD: Ron and Steve are pumped here tonight! They've waited a long time for a shot at the champs, and they're ready as anything now! SR: Ready to have their asses whooped, more like. SL: And introducing their opponents, the champions: accompanied to the ring by Aaron the Caddy, hailing from Omaha, Nebraska, at a combined weight of 643lbs, here are NavCom and DefCon: the Aaaaaaarrmed Fooorcees! [Big heel pop as various military noises erupt over the PA. A spotlight picks out Aaron the Caddy holding a golfclub aloft at the head of the aisle. He leads his men to the ring. NavCom and DefCon enter the ring, the gold title belts on their shoulders. They arrogantly wave the belts in the faces of Ron and Steve before handing them to the referee, who holds them aloft for the crowd to see. Big pop.] TD: The Armed Forces have a very impressive record, that's for certain, but Stunt Team USA have the edge in experience, and they have the support of the crowd. I think we could see new champions here tonight, Steve. SR: Quit that, Dross. You're making me laugh so hard, I'll spill my diet coke everywhere. [The bell rings to signal the start of the match. NavCom elects to start the match for the Forces against Steve Forget. NavCom muscles up to Steve in the centre of the ring and starts badmouthing him. Steve stands there and takes it, until NavCom rocks him with a slap. Steve looks shocked momentarily, and then strikes back with a slap of his own, which staggers NavCom. Steve bounces off the ropes and hits with a clothesline, and NavCom again teeters. Steve bounces against the ropes again and goes for a cross bodyblock, but is caught in midair by NavCom, who executes a hard backbreaker on his opponent. He drops an elbow on Forget, and goes for an early cover - 1 - kickout! Steve is quickly back to his feet, but is backed into a corner by NavCom, who fires away with European uppercuts. He whips Forget across the ring and charges after him, but Steve ducks out of the way. NavCom hits the buckles hard and staggers backwards into the centre of the ring. Steve fells him with a clothesline and tags out to Ron. Ron enters the ring and catches NavCom in a bulldog. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! He drags NavCom to his feet, kicks him in the midsection to double him over, and then executes a piledriver on the Naval officer. Big pop as he covers - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: The Forces are in trouble early on here. NavCom needs to get out of the ring right now! [Ron runs into the ropes, but Aaron the Caddy whacks Ron in the back with his golf club as he hits the ropes, and Ron crumples to the mat. Heel pop.] SR: [laughs] Fore! Yes! I should think that would have been a pretty good drive, wouldn't you, Dross? TD: That's not funny, Steve. Ron Fire is down in the ring and NavCom is inching towards his partner for the tag. [On the outside, the Wizard approaches Aaron, and confronts him. Aaron takes a swing with his golf club, but the Wizard disarms him with his quarterstaff and drives the stick into his stomach. Aaron doubles over, winded. Pop! Meanwhile, on the inside, NavCom has tagged out to DefCon, who enters the ring and drops a leg on Ron. He drags Ron to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He catches him coming off the other side and hits a chokeslam. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Steve storms the ring and makes the save. The referee forces Steve out of the ring, and DefCon whips Ron into the Forces' corner, where the champions work him over, choking him with the tag rope and putting the boot in. Ron slumps into the middle of the ring as DefCon tags out to NavCom, who immediately climbs to the top rope and launches himself with a big splash from the top. He hits! Big heel pop!] TD: That was the AK47 splash! It could be all over for Stunt Team USA right here! NavCom covers - one! Two! Th -- no! Ron got his foot on the ropes! Wow, that was close! [NavCom drags Ron to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He hits with a high-elevation flying clothesline. Big heel pop. He goes to his corner and tags in DefCon. The two men enter the ring together and attempt to double-team Ron, dragging him to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. Ron ducks underneath a double-clothesline attempt and then hits with a double clothesline of his own! Big pop as NavCom rolls out of the ring holding his head and DefCon is laid out on the canvas!] TD: Ron must make the tag now! SR: Come on, Aaron! Do something! [DefCon is first to his feet, and he crawls over to his corner, but NavCom is nowhere to be seen, as he is still on the outside, where Aaron the Caddy is desperately trying to get him to his feet. Ron crawls over to one corner, but it's not the right one! Steve stomps on the canvas, and the crowd bursts into a "S - T - U - S - A!" chant. Ron pulls himself along on the ropes and makes the tag to Steve. Steve charges across the ring and drags DefCon back into the centre of the mat, and drops an elbow on the prone Army officer. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! He drags DefCon to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He hits a flying clothesline! He covers again - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: DefCon just won't stay down! But he doesn't have the stamina of his partner, and NavCom is looking decidedly groggy out there on the outside. [Steve climbs to the top rope and raises his arms to the crowd. He hits his forearm with his other hand. Big pop!] TD: Here comes that flying forearm! If he hits with this move, we've got new tag team champions! Hang on -- what's Aaron doing?! [Aaron slides under the bottom rope and pulls DefCon from the ring. NavCom is already in the aisle, and Aaron supports DefCon as he pulls his men away from ringside. Aaron dashes back to the timekeeper's table for the tag belts, and then continues up the aisle with his men.] SR: Smart move by Aaron, Dross! Titles can't change hands on a countout, and sometimes it's best to cut your losses and walk out with the gold, even if you take a loss. [Steve jumps down from the turnbuckle, and Ron joins him in the ring. The referee's count reaches - 7 - 8 - Ron and Steve yell at the Forces to return to the ring, but the trio keep on going back to the locker room - 9 - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding! The referee tries to raise the arms of Stunt Team USA in victory, but they yank their arms away and leave the ring. They hold a quick conference with their manager before heading up the ring, looking very annoyed.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, as a result of a countout: Stunt Team USA! However, championships cannot change hands via countout, so _still_ the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces! [The crowd boos loudly at the announcement as Ron and Steve jog out of sight in pursuit of the tag team champions.] TD: Well, that was a fantastic match. There can be little doubt that Stunt Team USA were going to take the titles right there. SR: You're kidding, right?! Those two morons couldn't take title belts from a couple of babies, let alone military geniuses like NavCom and DefCon. TD: Sooner or later, the Forces' luck is going to run out, and then we'll see new champions. Well, let's move on to our second title match of the night, as Don Antonio, self-appointed judge, jury and executioner, attempts to take the Intercontinental title away from Tiger Claw. SR: I've been looking forward to this one, Dross. Don Antonio's going to have to eat his spaghetti pureed after Tiger Claw's done with him tonight. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Tiger Claw vs. Don Antonio =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship! [Pop] Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Salvatore Fiorello and Vinny Cappicola, hailing from Sicily, Italy, and weighing in at 275lbs, here is the challenger: Dooooon Aaaaantoooonioooo! [Big pop for the Family as they appear at the head of the aisle to the strains of the theme from "The Godfather". The Don leads the way, with Sal and Vinny bringing up the rear. The Don hi-fives the fans as he makes his way to the ring, and then climbs the steps. He hops over the top rope and jogs across the ring. He raises his arms aloft as fireworks explode above the ring. Big pop!] TD: The Don sure looks confident here, Steve. And that attack from Verhoeven doesn't seem to have had any real adverse effects. He looks ready. SR: I would suggest that it's just a calculated exterior designed to fool his opponent, but the Don's too stupid for that. SL: And introducing the champion: accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, hailing from Thailand, weighing in at 220lbs, here is: Tiiiigeeeeer Claaaaaaaw! [The Thai boxing music that accompanies Claw's entry blares out over the PA, and there is a big heel pop as the IC champ and Brian Lau, who is carrying a baseball bat, make their way down to the ring. Both Claw and Lau climb the ringsteps and enter the squared circle.] TD: Hey, what's Lau doing with that baseball bat?! [Lau signals to Sparkplug Lee for the microphone, which he snatches. Sparkplug slinks out of the ring.] BL: Ladies and gentlemen, earlier tonight, I spoke of Tiger Claw's power. Before he rips apart this liar over here... [Don rushes forward, but the ref holds him back, telling him to wait for the bell. Don calms down, and patiently waits.] BL: As I was saying before being so rudely interrupted, before Tiger Claw takes apart this Don Antonio, we would like to demonstrate the strength of one of Tiger Claw's kicks. I hold here a baseball bat. I'm sure all you people have seen one of these. Tiger Claw will break it with a single shin kick. [Brian holds the bat out, and Tiger Claw readies himself to break it. Don Antonio turns to talk to Vinny, who is standing on the apron, and makes a snide comment, and Tiger Claw takes that time to jump towards him with a flying knee. Lau dives from the ring, still clutching the baseball bat, as the referee hurriedly signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: What a cheap shot from Tiger Claw! Lau's setting the tone of this match early on here. [The Don is rocked by the impact of the knee and tumbles against the ropes, knocking Vinny from the apron. The Don's right hand man clatters against the steel crowd barrier. Meanwhile, in the ring, Tiger Claw sets about the Don with a series of kicks. He whips the Don into the ropes and hits a back heel kick. Don goes down and rolls from the ring to collect himself, but Claw throws himself out of the ring over the ropes onto his staggered opponent. Vinny Cappicola pulls Claw off the Don, and is met by a vicious chop to the throat. Vinny staggers backwards, clutching at his neck.] TD: That chop could collapse your trachea! The referee ought to disqualify Tiger Claw right there! SR: And of course it's Cappicola's job to start roughing up other wrestlers, is it, Dross? TD: Well, no... but he was defending Don Antonio, and... SR: [interrupting] And Tiger Claw was defending himself from that musclehead. Case closed. [The referee leaves the ring to check on Vinny, allowing Claw and Lau to enact a double-teaming plan. Claw holds Antonio captive while Lau sizes him up with the baseball bat. As he winds up to take a shot at the Don, Salvatore Fiorello grabs the bat and yanks it away from Lau. He brandishes it at the Syndicate's manager, who backs away. The Don wriggles free of Claw's grip and clotheslines the champ to the floor. Big pop as Don turns his attentions to Brian Lau. He is about to nail Lau when Claw hits him from behind. Claw rolls him back into the ring, and follows him in. On the outside, Fiorello keeps hold of the baseball bat and tests its weight in his hands.] SR: Fiorello had better not be getting any ideas. If he goes near Lau or Tiger Claw with that bat... TD: And I'm sure Lau had no intention of using something as innocuous as a baseball bat as a weapon, Steve. SR: Sarcasm just doesn't become you, Dross. [The referee follows the two athletes back into the ring. Claw drags the Don to his feet and tries to whip him into the ropes, but the Don reverses, and sends Claw for the ride. As Claw hits the ropes, Fiorello strikes Claw's back with the bat, and the Intercontinental Champion crumples into the ring! The Don quickly capitalises, hoisting Claw up above his head in position for a press slam. Big pop.] TD: What a power display from the Don! This is the setup for the new move he was describing earlier... this is the setup for Truth and Honor! [The Don bounces himself off the ropes, and then drops Claw down onto his extended knee in a spike backbreaker. Big pop! Don Antonio covers Claw, and the referee makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The crowd goes bezerk, and so does Brian Lau!] SR: No way! You can't try and tell me that the referee didn't see that blatant attack?! Truth and Honor?! This is the biggest miscarriage of justice I've ever seen in all my years in wrestling! TD: What a devastating move from Don Antonio! Unbelievable! He dropped Claw straight onto that knee... And what a victory! [The referee raises Don Antonio's arm in victory as the crowd continues to pop for the Family, who have crowded into the ring to celebrate with the Don. Sparkplug Lee begins to announce the decision:] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _NEW_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion: Do -- eerk! [Brian Lau snatches the microphone away from Lee and shouts at the official. The crowd jeers as the celebrations are broken up in the ring.] BL: Hold it! Hold it! You're not giving that title belt to this barbarian! Don Antonio could never have pinned Tiger Claw without cheating, and he, his useless manager Salvatore Spaghetti, and Winnie Cappucino, all know it! I demand you get another official out here! Salvatore Florentino struck Tiger Claw with that baseball bat as he was thrown into the ropes by Antonio. It was all a premeditated plan to rob the IIWF's greatest Intercontinental Champion of his title! Just typical of you dishonourable Westerners! And particularly you slimy, greasy-haired Italians... This is a travesty. Get another referee out here now! TD: I can't help but feel that Lau's being a crybaby here, Steve. I believe you often say, "live by the sword, and die by the sword." Well, Claw just got his head cut off right here, and now Lau's calling for the paramedics. It's too late! The referee's decision is final. This match is history! SR: You're kidding me, Dross, right?! There's no way that this decision can be allowed to stand... [Sure enough, another official makes his way down to the ring. He motions to the match referee that he was watching the match on a monitor backstage, and saw the offence. Don Antonio looks on in disbelief. He motions Cappicola to get him the title belt, and Vinny grabs it from the timekeeper's table. The Don slings the gold belt over his shoulder and starts heading up the aisle, Cappicola and Fiorello in tow. The match referee motions to Sparkplug Lee to make an announcement.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that the decision in this match _will_ stand! Therefore, we _do_ have a new Intercontinental Champion, Don Antonio! [Big pop! Antonio stops in the aisle and turns back to face the ring. He raises his arms to the crowd, who cheer him on. Sparkplug Lee waits for the pop to die down before continuing.] SL: However... the official has also informed me that in the interests of fair play and sportsmanship, the new champion must wrestle an immediate rematch with the former champion, Tiger Claw. [Big heel pop! Lau claps in satisfaction, and continues to tend to the groggy Tiger Claw. Don Antonio throws his hands down in disgust, and turns back towards the locker rooms. Seeing Antonio's retreat, the referee again instructs the ring announcer.] SL: If Don Antonio fails to return to the ring for the rematch, he will be stripped of the Intercontinental Championship, and it will be awarded back to Tiger Claw by default! [Huge heel pop. Antonio is clearly incensed at the top of the aisle. He shouts at Sal and Vinny, who are also stunned by the decision.] TD: I know the referees here in the IIWF have total power in matches to make binding decisions, but I must admit that I'm as stunned as the Family are about this... SR: Sure, Dross. You're just part of the racist conspiracy that exists here in the IIWF. You just want to rob men like Tiger Claw of any respect they might have. How humiliating, to be beaten like a dog with a baseball bat by a European mobster, in no way your equal... TD: You have such a wonderful way of twisting the truth, Steve. SR: Twisting, my ass! [Antonio continues to stand at the head of the aisle. Brian Lau snatches the microphone from the announcer once more and taunts the Don:] BL: Come on, you coward! Get back in here! Think about it -- if you get back into the ring, you at least have a chance of walking out with the gold at the end of the match. If you don't, you'll lose the title for certain. I know you and your ignorant, moronic Family -- and what a bunch of inbreds they are -- are yellow from head to toe... isn't it ironic? Tiger Claw may have skin of a different colour, but he has the heart of a tiger. He has a warrior soul. You have a criminal mind, and all you're interested in is serving yourself. Do you think your all-important fans will be able to respect you, knowing that you cheated to wear the title belt that you then lost by default? Come back in here and prove yourself against the best! [Throughout this speech, the Don has been getting more and more agitated. Sal and Vinny have been holding him back, but finally he pushes them away, runs down the aisle, and hits the ring like a tornado! The referee hurriedly signals for the bell to restart the match, and the crowd pops as the Don attacks Claw with a flurry of kicks and punches. Lau bails out of the ring as the action resumes.] TD: Lau was saying earlier on that Don Antonio knew how to push Tiger Claw's buttons, but I think we've seen here that Lau knows even better how to press the Don's buttons. He's like a house on fire in there! [The Don kicks Claw in the lower abdomen, and Claw is doubled over. The Don executes a piledriver on his opponent. Pop! He goes for a cover - 1 - 2 - Claw kicks out! The Don drags Claw to his feet and whips him into a corner. He follows him in and rocks him with a series of vicious European uppercuts. He then bulldogs Claw out into the centre of the ring and bounces off the ropes, dropping an elbow across his prone opponent. He goes for the cover again - 1 - 2 - kickout!] SR: Just look at Claw, Dross! He gets labeled with a baseball bat, and he can still get up from everything Don Antonio can throw at him! What physical condition he's in... phenomenal. TD: It looks to me like Claw is still feeling the effects of that bat shot. He's clinging on for dear life right now. [The Don again whips Claw into the ropes, and hits with a devastating clothesline, nearly taking Claw's head off. He applies a reverse chinlock on his opponent in the centre of the ring, but Claw refuses to submit. There is a buzz in the crowd as Casey James and Joe Latta appear at the top of the aisle in street clothing. They walk down to the ring to a big heel pop.] TD: Oh-oh! This is bad news for the Family -- and the referee! How can he hope to keep order with five people on the outside?! This could turn into a lumberjack match... SR: Brian Lau knows how to protect his interests, Dross. This is great! [Casey and Joe are immediately confronted by Vinny Cappicola, who muscles up to the two men. They attempt to push past him, but Vinny stands firm. Eventually, Blackheart and Latta tire of the blockade, and attack Cappicola, knocking him to the floor and putting the boots in. Meanwhile, the Don sees the carnage on the outside, and releases his hold on Claw. He leaps through the ropes and begins brawling with Joe Latta. The referee leaves the ring and tries to separate the melee, while Brian Lau sneaks up behind Sal and nails him, snatching the baseball bat back. He rams the bat into the back of Sal's knee, clipping him to the floor, before retreating back to the other side of the ring.] TD: That was despicable! Lau just nailed Sal in the knee with that bat! SR: Yeah, but it was Fiorello who threatened Lau with it first... TD: So that makes it okay to clip an ageing man's knee?! SR: Who needs an excuse anyway, Dross? [The brawl doesn't favour the spent Family, and Vinny and the Don soon find themselves flagging. Casey sends the Don clattering into the ringsteps, where he is intercepted by Tiger Claw. While the referee attempts to separate the warring factions outside the ring, Claw drags the Don into the ring and executes his knee fury on the exhausted Sicilian. Big heel pop as Lau throws the baseball bat into the ring. It is caught by Claw, who quickly kicks the groggy Don in the stomach, bending him double, and puts the bat under his torso, executing a powerbomb, using the bat to lift him. As the Don hits the mat, Claw continues to drive the bat into the Don's chest, and Antonio screams in pain. Claw throws the bat out of the ring and covers the Don... but the referee is still outside.] SR: I'm sure I heard one of the Don's bones snap! This is great! TD: Well, Antonio looks to be in a great deal of pain right now, and it's entirely possible that he could have broken a few ribs or cracked his sternum with a blow like that. Tiger Claw is simply brutal... Unbelievable. [Lau drags the referee away from the brawl, and orders Casey and Latta to leave Vinny alone. Cappicola is battered and exhausted, and leans up on the apron as the referee reenters the ring and counts the cover on Antonio - 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge heel pop!] SR: Yes! Brian Lau's done it! TD: No! No! [Brian Lau grabs the belt from the timekeeper's table and leaps into the ring, joined by Casey and Latta. He straps the gold back around the waist of Tiger Claw and raises his man's arm.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _NEW_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion: Tiger Claw! TD: I can't believe it! [Trash is hurled into the ring at the Syndicate as the Man Of Steel dashes down the aisle. Lau instructs his men to bail out as Steel tends to Cappicola and Sal on the outside before turning his attentions to the Don in the ring. Lau and his trio head up the aisle, patting each other on the back. Lau turns back to face the ring, and raises the baseball bat aloft. All four men laugh before continuing back to the locker room area, ignoring the projectiles hurled by the angry crowd.] TD: I'm disgusted by the Syndicate's actions, but I'm worried for the condition of Don Antonio... He's not moved, and he's still yelling out in pain. I think some damage has been done here, folks. SR: Who cares?! Of course, you know what this means, don't you, Dross? Tiger Claw is now a _three_ times Intercontinental Champion! Isn't that great? TD: This goes far beyond titles, Steve. The Syndicate have tried to end the career of somebody here tonight. SR: They say everybody's entitled to fifteen minutes of fame... well, Don Antonio had his fifteen seconds as Intercontinental Champion, and I hope he enjoyed it, because he'll never wear that title around his waist again. TD: Will you stop?! [A stretcher team comes to ringside and examines the Don in the ring. After a few moments, they carefully lift the Don onto the stretcher. Vinny helps Sal to his feet, and the manager appears to be unscathed. The two men look on concernedly as the Don is wheeled up the aisle on the stretcher to a big pop from the crowd. Gradually, the noise in the arena dies down.] TD: We'll try to bring you an update on the condition of Don Antonio before the end of the show tonight, folks... What a turn of events. I'm still in shock. SR: Get over it, Dross! Order was restored -- Tiger Claw took back what is rightfully his. What more is there to know?! TD: I just can't comprehend your attitude sometimes, Steve. Before we move on to tonight's main event, let me just refresh your memories, folks, about the IIWF's first ever Golden Grapple Awards, which will go down this coming Thursday. SR: Be there... or miss me claiming my award as "Best Announcer". TD: Actually, Steve, I thought I had a chance at that category. SR: You?! That would be like declaring the team mascot the Most Valued Player. TD: That's not very fair, Steve. Anyhow, all the IIWF's top superstars will be in attendance as they all find out just who has been voted "Best Singles Wrestler", "Best Tag Team", and even, "Worst Dressed". All the awards have been voted for by you, the fans of the IIWF, and it's going to be a great evening. SR: Especially if you don't turn up, Dross. TD: Turn up?! I'll be hosting the whole shebang, Steve! Anyway, we've got to move on to tonight's main event now -- the third semi-final in the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. We're guaranteed no baseball bats in the following encounter, as "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley takes on "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT SEMI-FINAL: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring. He taps his microphone before speaking:] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament semi-final is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty-minute time limit. Making his way to the ring, hailing from Corner Brook, Canada, and weighing in at 238lbs, here is: "Quickstrrriiike" Chriiiiis Quiiiigleeey! [Big pop for Chris Quigley as "For Those About To Rock" kicks in over the PA system. The swirling spotlights cast spinning Quickstrike logos onto the floor of the aisle:] ______ / _ _ \ / / \/ \ \ | \_/\_/ | \ /\ / |______| |||||||| ________ |______| ________ /_____ /______ ______\ _____\ /______ /__\ ______\ _____/ ____ \_____ \______\ /_______/ [Quigley appears at the head of the aisle and walks down to the ring, looking confident as ever. He hi-fives the fans on either side of the aisle before climbing the ringsteps and mounting the turnbuckles, raising his arms to the crowd, who reward him with another pop. He removes his leather jacket, handing it to a ringside attendant, before leaving the ring and awarding his shades to a small fan at ringside.] TD: What a reception for Chris Quigley here in the Coliseum tonight! Who are the crowd going to cheer for in this match? SR: I'm tempted to just get up and leave. I don't want to watch these two morons squabble. [The music ceases as Sparkplug Lee speaks again:] SL: And introducing his opponent: coming down the aisle, hailing from Ashland, Oregon, and weighing in at 220lbs: here is "Spoooootlight" Biiiiilllyyyy Shaaaaaaakespeeeeeare! [Another huge pop as the lights in the arena dim and a single spotlight illuminates the head of the aisle. "Little Willie" blares out over the PA as Billy Shakespeare steps into the spotlight. He bows to his fans, and then walks down the aisle, hi-fiving the eager hands on either side of the walkway. He climbs the ringsteps and enters the ring.] TD: You can bet we're going to see a sportsmanlike match here. Both of these men have respect for one another. SR: Respect goes out of the window when you're chasing gold, Dross. [Billy extends his hand to Quigley, who looks out into the crowd for encouragement. The fans cheer him on, and he shakes Billy's hand. Big pop. The two men take a step backwards as the referee calls for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding! The athletes circle one another before locking up collar and elbow. Quigley gets the early advantage, trapping Billy in a side headlock. Billy pushes Quigley into the ropes and performs a monkey flip on his Canadian opponent. Pop. Both men again stand, and circle one another once more. They lock up, and again Quigley gets the advantage, applying a hammerlock on Billy. Billy twists free and reverses the hold, only for Quigley to duck under his arm and reverse the armlock again. Shakespeare walks forwards into the ropes, and the referee calls for the break. Quigley releases the hold.] TD: These two men are testing each other out here. Quigley seems to have the slight power advantage, and probably the edge in upper body strength, but Billy looks to me to be quicker. SR: Who cares? [Billy turns and charges Quigley, who attempts to hiptoss him, but Billy blocks and counters with a hiptoss of his own. Quigley is straight back to his feet and charges again; Billy once more hiptosses Quigley across the ring. Pop. Quigley gets to his feet and approaches Billy more slowly. The two men lock up, and Quigley whips Billy into the ropes. Billy ducks under a clothesline attempt, but is floored by a drop toe hold on the next pass. Quigley goes straight to work on Billy's right leg, grapevining it in the centre of the ring.] TD: Here's Quigley's gameplan coming into action. He wants to remove Billy's advantage in the air, and soften up that leg for his Quickstriker scorpion deathlock. Billy needs to get out of this hold as soon as possible. [Billy inches towards the ropes, and eventually grabs the bottom rope. The referee calls for the break, and Quigley obliges. However, as Billy drags himself to his feet, Quigley kicks his knee out from under him. Billy crumples again, and rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope. Quigley follows him out, and drags him to his feet before whipping him knee-first into the steel ringsteps. Some of the crowd give a heel pop.] TD: It seems Quigley will go to any lengths necessary to take out his opponent. Will Billy be able to fight fire with fire? [Quigley rolls Billy back into the ring. Billy staggers to his feet as Quigley climbs onto the apron. Billy tries to suplex Quigley back into the ring, but Quigley ducks underneath and drives his shoulder into Billy's lower abdomen. Shakespeare staggers backwards, doubled over, and Quigley sends himself over the top rope in a sunset flip. He pulls Billy over backwards and has a pinning combination - 1 - 2 - kick out! Both men get to their feet, and Quigley whips Billy into the ropes. Again, Billy ducks under a clothesline, and Quigley too runs into the ropes. The two men each attempt a flying cross-body block, and they collide in mid-air. Big pop as they both crash to the canvas. The referee begins counting both men - 1 - 2 - 3 - Quigley begins to stir, and is soon on his knees. Shakespeare, too, is onto one knee, but is dragged to his feet by Quigley, who picks him up and executes a backbreaker on Shakespeare. He covers - 1 - 2 - kick out! Quigley drags his opponent to his feet and whips him into a corner. He charges in to follow, but Billy leaps to the second turnbuckle and attempts a reverse cross-body block on Quigley, who narrowly ducks underneath the attempt. Billy crashes to the mat.] TD: So far, Billy's high-flying attacks haven't proved effective on Quigley. Now it's Quigley's turn to go to the second rope -- and he hits with an elbow! [Again, Quigley covers - 1 - 2 - kick out! Dragging Shakespeare to his feet, Quigley whips Billy into the ropes, and hits a spinebuster as Billy comes back at him. Big pop. Quigley covers once more - 1 - 2 - kick out! Quigley stands, and goes to the corner again. However, there is a buzz through the crowd as Otto Verhoeven appears at the head of the aisle. Quigley notices the Butcher's arrival and stands on the second rope, signalling to Verhoeven to come on down. Otto walks calmly and coolly to the ring, ignoring the jeers of the fans.] SR: At last! Something to get excited about in this match! I hope Verhoeven kicks seven shades of snot out of both of these pukes. TD: The referee has to act quickly here! We know how dangerous Verhoeven is -- he's got no place here at ringside. He nearly cost Quigley his match against Brad "Bodybag" Kinder on Wednesday night, and who knows what he's got planned tonight! [Verhoeven continues to walk down to the ring. Quigley watches him arrive as Shakespeare tries to collect himself in the centre of the ring. The referee bends through the ropes and tries to send Verhoeven away, but Verhoeven raises his hands to the referee and signals that he's only watching. Quigley turns back to Shakespeare, who has got to his feet, and approaches him. Quigley tries to whip Billy into the ropes, but Shakespeare reverses, and sends Quigley for the ride. Quigley ducks under a clothesline attempt, but as he hits the other side of the ring, Verhoeven reaches up and pulls the top rope down, and Quigley topples over the ropes to the arena floor, clattering against the steel railings. Big heel pop. Verhoeven begins putting the boot into Quigley, and Shakespeare bounces against the ropes before launching himself with a somersault over the top rope onto Verhoeven, landing hard on the Butcher, but bringing himself and the huge German down on top of Quigley. Huge pop.] TD: We've got carnage outside the ring! The official must get Verhoeven away from the ring before any more damage is done! [The official leaves the ring as Billy and Verhoeven get to their feet. Verhoeven throws Billy into the steel ringsteps, and is confronted by the referee. He continues to kick Quigley in the ribs, despite the efforts of the official to keep him away. The Butcher drags Quigley to his feet and executes a chokeslam on the winded Canadian onto the arena floor. Eventually, the referee drags Verhoeven away from the floored athletes, and points up the aisle. The Butcher smiles a sick, satisfied smile, and heads back to the locker room.] TD: What a despicable display by Otto Verhoeven! That man is a monster! SR: Isn't he great? He just doesn't care about anyone or anything... apart from Heidi, I suppose. I think the official's going to have to end this one right here. Neither of these two guys are going to be able to continue now. [Billy and Quigley eventually stir on the outside, and Billy climbs onto the apron. He steps through the ropes to break the referee's count, and then goes out onto the apron again. As Quigley hauls himself back to his feet, Billy runs and launches himself with a front moonsault off the apron, landing squarely on Quigley! Huge pop! Billy gets to his feet and rolls back into the ring as the referee continues his count on Quigley - 2 - 3 - ] TD: Billy knows that a countout victory will be good enough to see him through to the finals this coming Wednesday. And it looks to me like Quigley could be finished right here! That was a superb manoeuvre from Billy, but that beating Quigley took from Otto Verhoeven has certainly taken its toll. [The count continues - 5 - 6 - Quigley gets back to his feet and hauls himself up onto the apron - 7 - 8 - Quigley rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope. Big pop! Shakespeare drags Quigley to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. He hits with a perfect flying drop kick, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kick out! He executes a snap mare on Quigley, and then goes to the turnbuckles. He climbs all the way to the top rope, and launches himself with a flying splash! Huge pop!] TD: What elevation Billy got on that move! He must have come down from about twelve feet above the ring, and he flew almost three quarters of the way across the ring! He covers - one! Two! Three! He got him! No! No! It was a two-count, but that was very close! [Quigley just manages to get his shoulder up before the ref's hand hits the canvas for the third time. Billy whips Quigley into the ropes once more, and hits with a flying forearm. Big pop! Quigley goes down. Billy again climbs to the top turnbuckle, this time with his back facing the ring. He raises his arms to the fans, signalling for the Curtain Call! Cameras flash as Billy stands balanced on the top rope.] TD: If Billy connects with the Curtain Call, this one's all over! Quigley's getting to his feet... [Quigley groggily walks towards Billy's corner, and Shakespeare launches himself backwards with his flying reverse cross-body block, but Quigley somehow turns Billy around in midair and slams him to the canvas! Big pop! Quigley crawls over to Billy and covers - 1 - 2 -- Billy just kicks out! Big pop! The referee begins to count both exhausted men out - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - Quigley gets to his feet, and picks Billy up. He whips Shakespeare into the ropes, and attempts a superkick. Billy ducks underneath the attempt, turns, and floors Quigley with a huge clothesline. The crowd are becoming more and more agitated and excited as Billy slowly climbs the turnbuckles again.] TD: This could be a big mistake by Shakespeare! He's looking for that killer move that will put Quigley away, but going to the top again at this stage in the match is a huge high risk to take! [Billy is slow to get to the top rope, and again prepares for the Curtain Call, but as Quigley drags himself to his feet, he slumps forward and grabs the top rope, causing Billy to lose his balance. Billy tumbles so that he is straddling the top buckle, still with his back to the ring. Quigley makes his way over to Billy's corner, and climbs to the second buckle. He locks Billy into position for a belly-to-back superplex, but as he attempts the move, Billy shifts his weight so that he is covering Quigley in midair, and Quigley slams to the mat. The referee counts - 1 - 2 -- again, Quigley narrowly gets his shoulder out!] TD: Steve, look at the crowd here! They're on their feet all over the Coliseum! I can't believe the resilience of these two men! You have to wonder whether either man has enough left to put the other away! SR: I just wish they'd hurry up and get on with it. [The two men eventually struggle to their feet, and Quigley performs a Russian legsweep on Billy, who crashes back to the canvas. Quigley grabs both of Billy's legs, and tries to apply the Quickstriker scorpion deathlock. He wraps Billy's legs round his left leg, and tries to step over to lock in the hold.] TD: Quigley's got to turn Billy over to lock in the hold, but if he does, it's all over for Shakespeare! [Billy thrashes with his legs, and just manages to get one leg free of the exhausted Quigley's grip. He lashes out with his free boot, catching Quigley in the chest and forcing him to break the hold. Quigley bounces against the ropes and attempts an elbow drop on Billy, but Billy rolls out of the way! Big pop! Both Billy and Quigley get to their feet. Billy tries to whip Quigley into the ropes, but Quigley reverses and sends his opponent for the ride. Quigley attempts another superkick, but this time Billy catches Quigley's leg! Big pop! Billy spins Quigley around by the leg, grabs him from behind and executes a beautiful German suplex into a bridge - the ref counts - 1 -- 2 -- 3! Quigley struggles to get free, but his shoulder is lifted from the canvas just a fraction too late! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop!] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, by pinfall: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [The referee raises Billy's arm in victory as he is laid flat out on the canvas. Fireworks erupt above the ring as Billy hauls himself to his feet and bows unsteadily to the crowd. He helps Quigley to his feet and extends his hand to him in a show of sportsmanship. Quigley takes a step backwards and looks at Shakespeare, his hands on his hips.] TD: Just look at Quigley. You can see the disappointment on his face. In a fraction of a second, his dream of being the first man to wear the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship belt was shattered. Quigley's a proud man, Steve. SR: He ought to break Shakespeare's arm, not shake his hand. Who gives a damn about sportsmanship, anyhow? [Quigley eventually extends his hand to Billy and shakes it. He raises Billy's arm in victory to a big pop before leaving the ring and walking, exhaustedly, head hung, up the aisle, ignoring the screams and hands of the fans. Billy stands in the ring and watches Quigley go, applauding his opponent. As Quigley disappears from view at the head of the aisle, Shakespeare climbs the turnbuckle and accepts the cheers of the crowd for himself. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: You can't help wondering what would have happened if Otto Verhoeven hadn't interfered in that match. He attacked Quigley when he was firmly in control... SR: The Butcher has Quigley's number, Dross. If that windbag tries anything, he'll wish he'd stuck to wrestling the Pukespeares of this world. TD: Well, Billy Shakespeare is the third finalist in the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament, and this Wednesday night brings an even greater challenge for him. He must wrestle both the Man Of Steel and former Intercontinental champ, Hakiro Matsuoko, and win both matches, to be victorious overall and become the first ever IIWF Cruiserweight Champion. What a night it's going to be in the Omni, Atlanta, Georgia, as the IIWF begins its second national tour. SR: Matsuoko's got the tournament sewn up, Dross. Neither Pukespeare nor the Man Of Squeal stand a chance against the Syndicate. TD: We'll see about that. We're just about out of time here tonight, folks, but what a night it's been! We've seen some phenomenal athletic displays, we've witnessed the first appearances of several new IIWF superstars, and we've seen the IIWF Intercontinental Championship change hands not once, but twice! I have a brief update on the condition of Don Antonio -- it's understood that he has bruised ribs and torn intercostal muscle damage. Although he's got to be examined more fully at the local hospital, it appears that the damage is not severe, and he should be back in action within two weeks. At least that's some good news. SR: That's _good_ news?! The Syndicate will finish the job at a later date, you can count on it! TD: It's been a fantastic evening of entertainment, folks, and there'll be more of the same coming at you live this Wednesday from the Omni! Until then, this is Tim Dross, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut back to Billy Shakespeare celebrating his victory in the ring. 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