[Fade up to scenes from the IIWF Coliseum on Saturday Night. Voice over:] TD: Brian Lau and his Syndicate: the apparently unassailable force here in the IIWF. Yet Tiger Claw, the two-time Intercontinental Champion, had a bad week. Firstly, he was defeated by the Man Of Steel on Midweek Mayhem to deny him a berth in the finals of the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. [Images of the Man Of Steel's celebrations pass across the screen.] TD: Secondly, he was to face one of the bastions of truth and honor in the IIWF, Don Antonio, for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship on Saturday Night. And he lost! [Images of Salvatore Fiorello striking Claw with the baseball bat and the Don executing the Truth and Honor on him for the victory fill the screen. The voice over continues over the crowd noise:] TD: The unthinkable had happened! But due to the controversial nature of the match's conclusion, it was ruled that there should be an immediate rematch. And this time, Brian Lau had a contingency plan. [Casey James and Joe Latta are seen coming out to ringside and brawling with the Family.] TD: The Don fought for his life, but in the end a powerbomb using the baseball bat that had granted him victory sealed his fate. [The vicious move is shown in slow-motion.] Tiger Claw not only reclaimed the Intercontinental gold, but cracked Don Antonio's ribs and bruised his sternum, putting him on the shelf for around two weeks. [Shots of Tiger Claw and the rest of the Syndicate leaving with the gold are shown.] TD: In the aftermath of this chaotic turn of events, things are about to explode outside the rings too: [Cut to the press room of the Memorial Hospital in Indianapolis, Indiana where the Don was sent after Saturday's confrontation with Tiger Claw. Don Antonio, Salvatore Fiorello, Vinny Cappicola, and their lawyer Bill Edelstein are standing behind the podium. Although visibly shaken, the Don is supporting himself at the microphones with the aid of crutches.] DA: The reason we are here today folks is to address what happened on Saturday between the forces of the Syndicate and the Family. At three o'clock this afternoon I received a suspicious package... BE: Don Antonio, with all due respect I think I should take over from here in order to safeguard your interests as a client. As the Don said, today at 3pm he received a suspicious package with the return address of only "Truth in the IIWF". After opening the package, Don Antonio discovered that the Intercontinental Championship belt was inside. Don Antonio has given me the belt to keep until the situation I am to speak of will be resolved. Mr. Antonio has decided that he will file an appeal with the league in regard to the matches this Saturday between himself and Tiger Claw. The appeal calls for the reversal of the IIWF decision to have Don Antonio immediately defend his title. The league went beyond the boundaries allotted by its charter and thus violated its own rules. Don Antonio calls for the immediate termination of Tiger Claw's championship reign and to strike from the records of the league any indication that the second match ever existed. This is filed on two grounds: firstly, that no wrestler may fight more than one match on any given day without his express written consent; and secondly, that even if the first rule does not apply, no Championship match can be fought without the written approval of the manager of the champion. If that wrestler does not have a manager then approval must be given by the wrestler himself. In accordance with the above regulations, the IIWF must return the title to Don Antonio and disregard the results or existence of the second match. For all intents and purposes, that match was merely a street fight. The IIWF does have in its power the right to require a rematch for the title, but the consent must be given by the manager of the champion. If the manager does not consent, then the belt may be stripped but the league must give the manager of the champion a reasonable amount of time to respond, not merely five minutes. Therefore, we will give the President of the IIWF a proper amount of time to review the facts of the case and come up with the decision of what to do about the championship. If the President rules against Don Antonio, then we have no choice but to file a civil suit for damages against the league. Reporter #1: Don, are you proclaiming yourself the Intercontinetal Champion at this point? DA: No, ma'am, that decision is for President Spreadbury to make. I feel that in my heart, yes, I am the champion but the final decision must rest with the President and I know that he will, in the interest of "fairness" as the referee put it, decide that the error was made and reinstate me as the champion. Reporter #2: Do you feel that the referees acted because of your conspiracy theory? Do you think that they had ulterior motives? DA: That is correct, sir. The referees knew that if they did not act in accordance with President Dan's wishes, that they may be looking for a job right now. Reporter #3: What makes you think that if the President is in cahoots with Brian Lau that he will now betray him? DA: It's simple. You see, all those deals were done behind closed doors. The public had no knowledge of them, but now they have been pushed into the forefront of the league, and I know that President Spreadbury realizes that if he acts in favor of Brian Lau once more, the public will realize that he is willing to break his own rules. I think he realizes that it is in the best interest of the IIWF that he promotes justice in this situation. After all, ticket sales would go down and the $20 from Lau will not do much to make up for the losses when the people see that he is truly crooked. Reporter #4: Don, how severe is your injury? Do you think that you'll be able to wrestle any time soon? DA: I should be able to wrestle next Saturday or the Wednesday after, but I refuse to get into a ring with the IIWF logo until this matter is settled. I will state now that compromise is not an option, the belt is rightfully mine and I will keep it until either I lose it in a title defense or a cop shows up at my door with a court order. I'm sick and tired of getting shafted by this league. Either do things the right way or don't do them at all. Reporter #5: Do you have any comments on Brian Lau? DA: Do I? Did you even have to ask that question? I would have gotten to it sooner or later. Brian Lau is a cheater, a liar, a no class lowlife who relies on underhand tactics to get ahead. He attacked Sal after he knew that he had no right to do so and I now issue a challenge to him. Mr. Lau, Salvatore Fiorello, former champion of Wrestling Italia, challenges you to a steel cage match with no way to win but submission. The loser must give up or not be able to respond to a referee for a ten count. The cage will be locked with a bolt lock that no man but President Spreadbury has the key to and the cage must be completely closed, even over the ring. This will be the true test for President Spreadbury -- we'll see if he'll make any copies of the key for Casey James and Tiger Claw. Well, I'm awaiting your answer Lau. Reporter #6: Vinny, do you have any comments on your match on Saturday or your upcoming match with Randy Acorn? VC: Yeah, I got a comment. Otter, you are da epitome of your countrymen. You're all a bunch of cheats dat can't do nothin without someone else's help. I tought you wuz a real man but I guess you needed dat Badboy's help so tonight I wanna challenge you to a rematch. One more time, but I won't make no stipulations like dose above. Dis time, I'll take your word as honor to redeem yourself. No outside interference from eitha side. Do ya tink you can do it alone Otter? Do ya tink you can beat da Sicilian Psycho? As for Acorn, brother, you made the biggest mistake of your life. This Wednesday you're gonna know what da meanin of ass-kickin is 'cause I'm pissed off. It's your sorry ass tactics like dat one you pulled on Saturday dat made me go after you in da first place and now Randall, you pay. You see, you call yourself a badboy. I don't doubt dat dat's what your momma said when she spanked you last week but it's also similar to what I called your girlfren when I was spankin' her, bad girl! To tell you da trut Acorn, I tought she was ratha unappealin' but anything I can do to piss you off, I will. See ya in da ring loser! Reporter #7: Sal, any comments on Lau? SF: No comments right now, I'm just going to make him pay in the ring! BE: I think we've said enough now, thank you for your time and we'll be waiting to hear from President Dan about the situation with the IC belt. Goodnight. [As the Family file out of shot, the voice over resumes:] TD: Tonight we will hear the response of the IIWF President to these very serious allegations, and we will hear from the Syndicate and three-time Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw. [Fade through to the opening graphics:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Update - 10 September 1996 ----------------------------------------------- [Cut to Tim Dross sitting in the IIWF Control Centre.] Hello, folks, and welcome to another IIWF Control Centre Update! I'm Tim Dross, and as you saw, we witnessed an incredible match -- or should I say, two incredible matches -- between the now three-time IC Champion Tiger Claw, and the man who held the gold for only a matter of minutes, Don Antonio. However, the action in the ring has since been overshadowed by the continued allegations by the Family that the President of the IIWF is corrupt and taking backhanders from Brian Lau. We'll be talking a whole lot more about that situation, and all the other action that went down in the Coliseum on Saturday Night, plus: - looking ahead to the crowning of the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion - running down tomorrow night's action in prospect - examining the Golden Grapple Awards - getting the latest rankings - hearing from IIWF Champion Deathbringer and the Outlaw J.W. Hardin and more! So let's get straight to it with a recap of Saturday Night's action: IIWF Saturday Night - 7 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1. The ARABIAN KNIGHTS defeated fellow debutants PAIN INC. with the Jihad. Let's hear from both teams, starting with the Arabian Knights: [SCENE: Tim Dross is standing outside the penthouse suite of the exclusive Royal Plaza Hotel, there are two security guards outside the door. Dross approaches the door but is stopped by the security guards.] Guard: Can I help you? TD: I'm here for an interview with the Arabian Knights. Guard: One moment. [The guard speaks into his walkie talkie in Arabic.] Guard: Your name? TD: Tim Dross... [The guard speaks into his walkie talkie in Arabic, after a few moments another security guard opens the door from the inside.] TD: Looks like we're in luck. [As Tim moves to enter the room he is frisked by the guards, the picture then goes all jerky as the cameraman is frisked as well.] Cameraman: Hey Tim, I don't think this is in my contract. TD: You think it's in mine?! [The camera pans around a very large and expensive looking hotel suite Prince Abdul Akbar can be seen sitting on a large settee at the far end of the room, with Omar standing behind him, the Grand Vizier is standing in the foreground.] GV: Ahh, Mr Dross... Nice to see you again, please take a seat. TD: I'd like to ask you a few questions about your victory the other night and about the IIWF in general. [The Grand Vizier turns and says something to the Prince.] Prince: I shall answer a few questions but make them quick as I am a very busy man. TD: Have you any comments about your victory over Pain Inc on saturday night? Prince: Well, that must have been one of the easiest fights I have ever been involved in... I did not even break into a sweat, if this is the calibre of the opposition that we will face then it will take even less time to win the Tag Team Championship belts than I thought. And as for their manager Mr Mic that infidel pig should learn when to keep his mouth shut, insulting us like that! Well Mr Mic I have more money than you could ever dream of and it would be easy for me to have you removed permanently.... [Suddenly a telephone rings, one of the security guards answers it, after a few brief words he hands it to the Prince. After a brief conversation the Prince turns and says a few words to the Grand Vizier. He then gets up and leaves the room with Omar.] GV: Something has come up, perhaps I can answer the rest of your questions. TD: Well, what were your impressions of Saturday's match? GV: I was in no doubt that we would be victorious, I had watched a video of Pain Inc, and I knew that we would be able to beat them, they are just too disorganised and wild, I also knew that their manager Mr Mic would be the real weak link, they listen to him but he does not know what he is talking about, he is... how you say... all mouth and no action. Well Mr Mic I have a few special words for you, as a wise man once said, "if every fool wore a crown, we would all be king," so Mr Mic when are you going to remove yours? TD: What's the next move for the Arabian Knights? GV: Well, we thrive on battle and the destruction of the infidels we are also keen to move up the rankings and we are willing to challenge any team to a match, we are that confident of our abilities. One team in particular, Steamroller, has caught my attention. I can see either of these teams being a stepping stone in our pursuit of the tag team belts. [One of the guards comes in and says something to the Vizier.] GV: Well, Mr Dross, it looks like it is time for you to leave TD: But I still have a few more questions... GV: They will have to wait. [The Grand Vizier turns and speaks to the guard.] GV: Please see Mr Dross and his associate out. [Tim Dross and the Cameraman are then manhandled out of the room by the security guards.] Cameraman: This is definitely not in my contract. TD: Shut up... let's just leave. [Fade] Pain Inc. were interviewed on a local TV station over the weekend. With permission of that station, I am able to bring you the following interview, which has resulted in criminal prosecution. Pain Inc. have been suspended for a week and fined following their actions in the following debacle: [SCENE: Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. Mr. Mic, and Pain Inc. are walking down the street. Mr.Mic is dressed in a black Gorgio Armani suit. Morningstar and Hellraiser are both wearing karate pants and their chain mail masks. They are being interviewed for ESPN.] Interviewer: Well, Mr.Mic not too good of a debut huh? It seems that you lost..... [Just then Morningstar grabs the interviewer by the throat slowly choking him while his eyes get wider and wider. Mr.Mic waits a while and then stops him.] Mr.Mic: [screaming] Got any more intellegent career moves moron!!!! Listen... that match was a farce. Since when are you allowed to have two men in the ring while pinning an opponent!!!! I'm sure the 7-11 Knights had a loaded boot when they performed that obviously illegal maneuver on Morningstar!!!! I saw more than 4 occasions where they should have been disqualified..... Interviewer: Nevertheless, it still shows up as a loss on the record!!! Mr.Mic: Record, big deal. Pain Inc. is here to beat people up and win the IIWF tag titles and nothing less than that will suffice!!!! Interviewer: There have been rumors as to the mental state of your two men. Do you care to comment?? Mr.Mic: No, Mr. Nosy I don't care to comment. I care to demonstrate! [Mr.Mic then points to the interviewer. Hellraiser kicks the interviewer in the stomach. While the interviewer is keeled over, Hellraiser picks him up and power bombs him through a plate-glass window of a store. Hellraiser pulls the interviewer out of the glass and lays him on the concrete. Morningstar climbs a telephone pole and performs an Asai moonsault on him. Pain Inc. pulls off the masks and both scream into the sky. Mr.Mic is seen killing himself laughing he then turns to the camerman.] Mr.Mic: YOU BETTER KEEP THAN THING ON ME UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE NEXT!!! [The camerman immediately focuses on Mr.Mic. Hellraiser and Morningstar are seen in the background attacking other members of the interviewer's crew.] Mr.Mic: 7-11 Knights. You have got yourself involved in something you don't wanna be in. You wanna double team, you wanna cheat, it seems that's the only way you can win. You obviously have no brains or talent and you escaped with a win by a fluke. Well now my boys are mad, real real mad. They want me to issue this challenge. This Saturday......you two losers vs. the future of tag-team wrestling Pain Inc. in a Texas Tornado match then (he starts laughing) my boys are gonna kick the livin' crap out of you two pathetic, smelly, disgusting pieces of trash and I, I am gonna laugh all the way to the bank. You think you're soooo bad well c'mon and prove it punks!! [The camera fades with Morningstar and Hellraiser, each with an evil smirk on their faces, staring into the camera.] 2. MAN OF STEEL pinned MAGUS after countering the madman's attempted powerbomb for the upset win. Magus tore up the ringside area after the match in a display of just why he's got a reputation for being a little unhinged: [SCENE: Magus is an institution, and you can hear screams and see people struggling to get away.] Magus: MAN OF STEEL!!!! You defeated me, but DON'T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD!!!! You are one of the most terrible wrestlers I have seen, and your victory over me was LUCK!!! In fact, MOS, I challenge you to another match... whenever, wherever. When I am through with you, it will be YOU that is in the straitjacket.... not me anymore!!! [Fade] Steel is more than happy with his recent performances, however: [SCENE: the Man of Steel and Bibbo Bibowski as they stand on a platform in the main gym of the Ace of Clubs, Bibbo's Bar. Lot's of fans have gathered and more are coming in as Steel begins to speak:] MOS: I would just like to welcome all of you here today. I have invited you here to speak about the current situation here in the IIWF. With Deathbringer siding with me and Bibbo and the Family already signed up, the ranks of the light are growing. The Don should be the Intercontinental Champion right now. But Brian Lau has showed us once again that he has a lot more control over the goings on here in the IIWF than most people would like to think. He was able to get that rematch straight away on Saturday Night and so regain the title he should not have. I feel sorry for the Don right now, and I would like to offer him a shot at the belt should I win it this Saturday when I meet Tiger Claw. But this Wednesday on Midweek Mayhem, I have something more important to look forward to. The Crusierweight Title Final. Billy Shakespeare, I would like to wish you the best of luck in the finals. All I can hope is that one of us claims the belt. Hakiro Matsuoko, you are a great wrestler, but you sided with the wrong team when you decided to side with Lau and the Syndicate. I will be going all out to stop you from winning the title. But more importantly, there are now four men sided with me. I would like to think that more will soon join us. But I would now like to make the following proposal. Outlaw, Syndicate, Dark Knights: Ring Wars 2 is approaching fast, and the following has come to mind. I put out the following challenge. Currently there are four of us. I would like to think that by Ring Wars 2 we will have 6 or 7. So, I challenge you to the following. A seven-man Wargames Match. Choose seven of your company and step up to the plate and take on the forces that are now opposing you. Fight the Man of Steel and his allies inside the steel. BB: Come on ya losers. Step up to da ring 'n' take on da forces led by da Man a Steel. He's my favourite and he's gonna beat some sense into ya. He will show ya. Meet him at Ring Wars 2 and yar gonna get a poundin dat you're not gonna forget. Or are ya scared? I reckon dat you are. James. You want me in da ring? You want to show me what you can do in da ring? Well you got it. Step up to it and ol' Bibbo will show you what 'e can do. Fancy another right 'n' left do ya? Well I'll give ya it! MOS: You see, Syndicate, Outlaw, Dark Knights and Posse, you have no chance of opposing the forces that are being assembled to fight you. You have given us a reason to solidify in opposition to you. We are no longer divided and soon we will show you what we are going to do to you at Ring Wars. Accept this offer and show us all that you actually have the guts to get into the ring with the best opposition that the IIWF has to offer for you. The Man of Steel, The Family, Deathbringer and Bibbo Bibowski are all ready for you. More will come and now the time has come to show us your forces. Who will you choose? Only time will tell. Until Wednesday and The Cruiserweight Finals and then Saturday and my match with Tiger Claw for the Intercontinental Title. Soon the Man of Steel could be holding his first title. Good Bye. BB: See y'all. [Fade] 3. THE PUNSTER pinned the departing CRIPPLER, who left the Coliseum unceremoniously and will not be seen again in the IIWF. The witty wordsmith hit with the Pun-isher for the victory. 4. FISTO FLASH was victorious via a disqualification over MR. DAMAGE when the rest of the Senate stormed the ring and attacked Fisto. Another wild brawl between the Stone Stable and the Senate ensued. 5. THE SANDMAN pinned the MASKED MARAUDER after the Nightmare modified chokeslam. Let's hear from the Dark Knights' leader: [SCENE: Close up of an old wooden door in the Knights' castle. It slowly creaks open to an oddly bright room. Skylights provide the room with brilliant whites. Elements in the grey stone walls glisten like sun on water. Standing in the middle on an elevated step is the Sandman.] TS: To claim true to one form, one must understand its opposite. Because you can't have one without the other. I stand here before you like the Archangel himself to state my business. As we all know the lines have been drawn and questions have been raised. Let me ask you this, what happens when I walk to the squared circle? The fans boo, therefore I'm a heel and that's it. Heel. To show the IIWF that I mean business, I'll target the top dog, Deathbringer. Yes, the world champion himself. Bringer! I've called out to you! I warned you that I was coming and now here I am. I'm knocking on your door and I'm ready to dance with the devil. You knew within yourself that our paths would cross because you claim the dark realm as your home. Well guess where I'm from? Ha ha ha! [in a low evil laugh] Your tactics don't scare me cause I fear no one. They fear me! I won't deny or over look Midsummer Madness. I have felt your power, it is a force to reckon with but one I can overcome. Feeling the Tombstone merely added fuel to the fire. It has awakened tired eyes who see the truth. I have the upper hand now, I know your strength and I know how to counter it. It's time for the Bringer to have a NIGHTMARE!! Strange things are happening in the IIWF. One has to be sure that they are ready. [Fade] 6. HAKIRO MATSUOKO pinned the returning "NIFTY" NED NORTON after debuting his new finisher, the Butsumetsu Drop, a stunning 540 degree lateral spinning splash from the top rope. 7. The HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS continued to cut through the competition here in the IIWF with a victory over newcomers, the ACES OF THE DEEP. Let's get comments from Pale and Easy now: [Scene: Josey Wale's Arizona Ranch. The High Plains Drifters walk into shot.] PR: Do you know what man in the world I fear more than any other? ER: [Sarcastically] J.W. Hardin? Deathbringer? Cadaver? Hangman? Archangel? PR: No my brotha, its Mr. Josey Wales. ER: [Fake surprise] Shut yo' mouth! PR: Do you remember when we first came across Mr. Wales? ER: Shit dawg, like it was yesterday. PR: Well, me an' Easy used to drive cattle. We were running a head of steer from Nevada to Souix City. Somethin' spooked the herd and they started stampedin'! ER: Amen for Mr. Wales! PR: Easy and I lost complete control. I was thrown from my horse. I know at that moment that we had lost the herd and probably our lives. ER: It was then that Mr. Wales rode in. PR: Out of nowhere, Mr. Wales stepped in front of the charging stampede, and with one motion of his hand, directed them back on to the path, and saved our hides. ER: No ordinary man could do that. No ordinary man would try that. PR: Josey Wales is the most dangerous man that ever lived! ER: And I wish some people wouldn't forget that...ah hum, Mr "all of a sudden I'm a big shot" J.W. Hardin! PR: Mr. Wales is the man with... [Pale Rider is cut off by the incoming Josey Wales himself.] JW: Okay boys, I've been a listenin' and I know where ya'll are goin'. I'll take over from here... Hardin... I knew your pappy, and I knew your grand pappy. Your grandfather took me under his wing and tought me almost eveything I know. Then I ran with your pappy. The two of us saw more gun fights, more killin', more one horse towns, more whores, more card games, and more bloodshed than you'll ever know. You offed your own father, and for that I respect you. That bastard deserved it for the way he treated you. But don't get all hot headed about yourself. Me and your pappy shared alot of things. Alot of ways to hurt and kill a man. Ways that I know that he never showed you. I'll show you these things, I'll channel your evil to a constructive end. I warn you not to trust too deeply in the appearent kindness of strangers. I speak here of the Syndicate. Mr. Brian Lau, we share the same likeness of brutality and mentality. I applaud your success so far in IIWF, but don't let it go to your head. I TAKE A BACK SEAT TO NOBODY! If the forces of evil align themselves against the forces of good, I will be there on the front line of the evil forces. Do not try to force me aside. If so I will be a worse enemy to you than any of the so called "faces." I'm a bad man, and don't you ever forget it! [Fade] 8. ROBSKI defeated "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER in one of the wildest matches seen in the IIWF for some time. These two went at it with all manner of ringside objects, and in the end, Robski tied Bomber up in lighting cable at the head of the aisle before returning to the ring himself for the countout win. Let's hear from the "English Sensation" now. Before we go to these taped comments, however, I wish to state categorically that the views of Robski in no way reflect the views of the IIWF: [It is the Newsnight Programme in the UK, Jeremy Paxman has just finished an interview with two backbench MP's on the IRAQ conflict, now he turns to the camera.] Paxman: And here with a different perspective on the Iraqi conflict is wrestling superstar Robski. [Robski is seen walking down the Pershore Road in Birmingham in the West Midlands, he speaks:] Robski: Once again our moronic American friends, driven by the fundamental belief that might is right, sod the realities of the situation, have begun an attack on a soveriegn nation. The nation of Iraq has been much pilloried, and unjustly so in my opinion. [Robski stops by the synagogue] Robski: A synagogue, where the Jewish people come to worship, and I bet most of them are happy today. [Robski walks towards the synagogue] Robski: The Jews are a fine people and Judaism is a great religion of the world, however, the Jewish state is another matter. [He turns away and carries on walking up the main road.] Robski: The last gulf war was not a question of right over wrong, it was not a question of a war to show bigger nations that they cannot tread on little nations, after all did not Russia invade Afghanistan and more appallingly the Americans invade Panama and Grenada, no, the Gulf war was fought for economic reasons and also it was a war fought on proxy, a war fought by proxy for the evil zionist Jewish state, a nation of oppressors who have subjugated the noble Palestinians for years, that nation being the shameful Israel. [Robski stops at the island and in the distance up the hill a mosque can be made out.] Robski: Islam as a religion and a way of life is much maligned and the Islamic zealots are no different to the Christian zealots that are so prevalent in America these days, but if there was univeral Islam there would be universal peace. That cannot be said of the brand of Christianity as espoused by these Americans. It is not the Iraqis that are the international enemy -- it is the American State and its gung ho "might is right" viewpoint, it is an attitude shrouded in pure hypocrisy. America is only interested in America and NOT helping the world out, after America was found sadly lacking during the two world wars. Look at Bosnia, there would have been NO WAR AT ALL had it not been for America recognising the Bosnian state, look at Somalia, a country left in a worse state than they found it, America is like a playground bully and Iraq a small child with no friends, the Bully just CANNOT resist the easy target, no rhyme or reason about what they do, just sheer mindless bullying. [Cut to Robski in the studio, images of death and war are imposed on the wall behind him.] Robski: So in conclusion I have to say the whole thing about Iraq is a simple one for me, America is not only doing the dirty work of the Jewish state but also sending out a message, a message to the 275 million or so Americans: VOTE FOR CLINTON! Well, America, I can advise you this, I will still deal with Iraq and if you have a dog and kick it, and kick it, and kick it, that dog will turn round and attack its attacker. America wants what is only good for America, not for the world, America is an international whore who must be taken down a peg or two, and people wonder why I DESPISE all things American as well [laughs]! Well, I will continue to give vent to my opinions... I know I am right, and deep in your hearts you do too. [Fade] I apologise for that soliloquy, folks. The IIWF is not a political arena, and maybe Robski is in the wrong profession. We'll find out soon enough, though, when a red-blooded American teaches him the efficacy of the American Way once and for all. 9. OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN defeated VINNY CAPPICOLA and decimated the rest of the Family thanks to the interference from "Badboy" Randy Acorn, who ran down to the ring and attacked Cappicola with a foreign object, allowing the ruthless Verhoeven to capitalise. Let's get comments from the Teutonic terror: [SCENE: A crowded airport cafe. Otto Verhoeven and Heidi are sitting at a table.] OV: So Heidi, the IIWF is going on tour and we will see more of this ugly nation. NH: Look at all these unvashed simpletons. I have never seen so many imbeciles in one place. OV: Perhaps in Little Italy. What an interesting match that was. I dont know what Herr Acorn was thinking when he got involved, but he only brought the inevitable result a few moments earlier, and we all know that. I truly enjoyed the carnage I unleashed on the Family. They experienced the raw strength of the Butcher, and I think that they are now wise enough to fear and respect me. NH: Oh, I am sure that old man fears me. Did you hear him scream when I locked on the Sedative? OV: Oh ja, you know how to handle men. Let's not forget to congratulate the Syndicate and Tiger Claw for delivering the final blow to the Enforcers of the IIWF. I do not think that the Don will have the courage to return. But, even more important, Shakespeare eliminated the "best wrestler in the world today" from the Cruiserweight tournament. NH: It vas great to see you beating up those two loudmouths. How can anyone who saw this deny that you are the most capable athlete in this federation right now? OV: Anyway, now that stupid swine Quigley can make no more excuses not to face me, his doom. The prey has been cornered, now it is time to finish it off. Do you know what one of those PWI reporters asked me a few moments ago? "Do you consider Chris Quigley a threat to your winning streak?" Can you imagine such an insult? I do not have a winning streak, a streak always depends on luck, but I win my matches thanks to my determination and my physical abilities. And no, "Pigstrike" poses absolute no danger to me. I will pound him into oblivion until he realizes that all his boasting and all his arrogance will not save him or his soon finished career. NH: After all, he has already felt one of your chokeslams, liebling, he will be too scared to step into the ring with you. OV: Do not forget his stupidity, Heidi. I will bring him down to his knees, and make him beg, before I give him the Meat Hook and end it all. You know something, I think I will dedicate the match to his mentor Bret Hart. When the Hitman sees what a loser he has created he will be too ashamed to come out of retirement and stop training talentless oafs like Quigley. NH: Cute idea. OV: Quigley, enjoy your last days as a top wrestler, because after Midweek Mayhem your life as a scared jobber starts. But who will be the next to step into the ring with the German juggernaut? Nun, Sabin Figaro would be a good opponent, a big name who can easily be dealt with. Or Billy Shakespeare, who has already enjoyed a sneak preview of the pain I can inflict. We have to wait and see... see you in the ring, victims! [Fade] 10. The PRINCE OF DARKNESS scored a countout victory over the ARCHANGEL in the 400lb, 7'3" athlete's first appearance in the rings. PoD was in deep trouble in the ring, but PoD's manager, Dr. Faustus, and comrade the Sandman attacked the Archangel's manager, Bishop Right, on the outside, distracting Archangel from the match, and allowing the PoD to get the countout win. Let's hear from the PoD: [SCENE: The Prince of Darkness and Dr. Faustus stand in the IIWF interview area.] PoD: Stack 'em up.......and I'll knock 'em down. Archangel, you didn't scare me in the least. Better luck next time. Who's next??? I challenge everyone!! I fear no man!! Tiger Claw......I demand a re-match for that shiny gold belt of yours. A no decision isn't good enough for me. You've got what I want.......and I think we all know who won our last encounter. Leave your goons at home, and I'll do the same. That's the only stipulation I have. Anything else you'd like to add is up to you. You're the champ.......for now anyways. I'll even up the ante. You don't become a champion without taking risks. You beat me.......and I'll retire from the IIWF. Think you can do that?? All you have to do is sign the contract to find out. [Fade] 11. "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI bested MARTY WARNETT in a match that was almost perpetual motion. Despite a sound performance from the rookie, Warnett, Musashi managed to pull off his Starsault Press for the pinfall victory. Let's get comments from the Party Maniac now: [SCENE: Outside shot of rock club, Babes-A-Go-Go, California] MW: And I have great, great pride in announcing this club ... OPEN! [Huge applause from the assembled crowd of revellers.] You see, I could have my career cut short at any time, although I seem to be the only grappler who hasn't been sneak attacked! Hence, this place is the first in a long line of Ultimate Party venues, for you people out there. And of course, don't forget the IIWF Rock, Rock till ya drop Party Maniac's tour, starting this week in Atlanta. [Predictable cheers ...] All right, now you, my friends, asked me about Saturday ... I underestimated Musashi. I assumed you'd be nothing more than a high-flyer with pretty moves ... You have guts, skill and pretty moves that hurt! Respect is due, and if you ever need any help, especially since Lau's boys won't keep their noses out, just call. Wednesday I face you, Lebec, again. Let me say one thing; this bout is more than just a routine run of the mill fight. It's about time I raised my game and started to make an impact here in the IIWF. I want to fight on each and every card. More importantly, I want to to fight at Ring Wars II. Lebec, Wednesday is an audition for you. If you perform well enough, I'll give you a shot at me in the PPV. It does have to be said, the ring is far better for us than the casting couch ... although, not as regards Miss Crystal ... That comes to Saturday, hell, everybody knows the weekend's for partying, and looking around the IIWF, seeing all you people talk trash, "Painkiller" Billy Sexless, you seem like a non-happy chappy. All I ever hear is you saying what you're going to do in that stock formula interview manner ... well, I'm gonna get ya sucka! Ha ha ha ha. You want to inflict pain, I want to inflict pin. Go figure. [An IIWF official, trying hard to avoid being caught in shot, but failing spectacularly, prods Marty and hands him an inflatable object.] MW: [whispers] What? Why do I? Prostituting my image and wrestling ability for an easy buck ... Oh yeah, just forgot, with all the merchandising available, wanted to remind you all about the new official Marty Warnett equipment ... tired of your parents complaining the amps are too loud? Feel stupid strumming your tennis racquet, or playing air guitar? Why don't you instead fulfill your rock'n'roll fantasies instead with this handy ... purple??? ... inflatable guitar???? Remember - check for the IIWF stamp to avoid bootlegs ... [Young child sneakily appears behind Marty, clutching, surprise, surprise, a pin. He stabs the inflatable guitar, which explodes. Warnett jumps out of his skin before turning and heading after the kid. Fade] 12. STUNT TEAM USA scored a countout win over IIWF Tag Team Champions the ARMED FORCES. Aaron the Caddy decided that it would be best for his men to cut their losses and go home with the loser's share of the purse money, but with the belts still around their waists, when all their plans failed. Ron and Steve would surely have walked out with the titles if Aaron hadn't pulled his men out. Ron and Steve are understandably unhappy with the way things turned out: [SCENE: "The Wizard" Belgarath McEndeavour, Ron Fire and Steve Forget are walking up a footpath in some forest.] RF: This ain't fair! These despicable cowards cheated us once again! We already had the titles in our hands! SF: Yeah, dammit, what stupid rules are this? The titles don't change hands 'cause those wimps flee from us? Com'on, gimme a break! BM: Calm down, my knights, what happened belongs to the past. We can't change it, so don't let's try to reverse those decisions. Whatever we may think about it, we have to concentrate on the future. Don't let yourself lose your focus. Keep on working hard, then fate will decide in our favour! [They reach a crossing. "The Wizard" reaches inside his robe and then presents two wristlets.] BM: Raise your arms, Sir Forget. SF: Whatever ya say, Wiz! [Belgarath puts the wristlets around Steve's wrists.] SF: Hey, these things are weighing quite some. Whadd'are they good for? BM: They will intensify your work, my knight. Now head off to your business. Iron Jack is waiting already! [Steve leaves the screen to the left. Belgarath once again searches around inside his robe and then presents a mace to Ron.] RF: ??? BM: It's a mace, Sir Fire. Use it for your hunt today. And good luck! [Ron leaves the screen to the right. "The Wizard" turns towards the camera] BM: Armed Forces, you cowards, you disgrace to every knighthood. How do you dare to leave the ring this way? And first of all, how can you possibly think that you get away with this? My knights have been training hard for the past few days, and they'll continue their work. And I'll continue mine. It is to make sure that they'll get a rematch for those belts. Armed Forces, put the belts on the line once more. Do it on your own. Do not force me to take other actions against you. The dragonslayers are watching you. Make no mistake. It could be your last one. [Fade] 13. We've already talked about the huge Intercontinental Title battle between TIGER CLAW and DON ANTONIO. Brian Lau, Claw's manager, brought a baseball bat to ringside with him to demonstrate Claw's lethal kicks, but Claw instead attacked Antonio before the bell. Things didn't look good for the Don, but when his manager Sal grabbed the bat from Lau, he used it against Claw, allowing the Don to hit his new finisher, the Truth and Honor, for the win. Due to the controversial ending, an immediate rematch was ordered, in which Claw came out on top due to the interference of the rest of the Syndicate. The Don was brutally powerbombed with a baseball bat, cracking his ribs and bruising his sternum, putting him out of action for a couple of weeks and allowing Claw to get the victory to reclaim the title and become a three-time Intercontinental Champion. 14. In what could be a "Match of the Year" candidate, BILLY SHAKESPEARE defeated CHRIS QUIGLEY to progress to the finals of the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. It was a real see-saw battle, both men coming close to sealing victory on a number of occasions. In fact, Quigley might have taken the match if it hadn't been for the distraction of Otto Verhoeven coming to ringside just as Quigley had Shakespeare down and apparently out. However, Shakespeare recovered and took the victory with a German suplex into a bridge at the climax of one of the most hard-fought matches I've ever seen. After the match, I went backstage to get comments from Chris Quigley: [Camera cuts to Tim Dross who stands in a corridor backstage at the IIWF Coliseum.] TD: Folks, I have just witnessed one of the greatest matches in IIWF history, as Billy Shakespeare defeated "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley with a perfectly executed German suplex to advance in the Cruiserweight Tournament. Now, unfortunately, there will always be a "what if" with this match, since Otto Verhoeven felt it was his duty to interfere against Chris Quigley once again. Quigley was obviously disconsolate about the loss, he shoved cameras out of his face back here, and has not left his locker room. I'm going to try to get a word with him now... [Dross walks down a short hallway and comes to a door with "Quigley" written on the top. Dross gives a cautious knock, waits a few seconds, and then knocks harder. The door swings open, and an exhausted, and angry Chris Quigley is in the doorway.] CQ: What do you want, Dross? It's bad timing. TD: Well, Chris, obviously that was a great, great match, and the people would like to get your take on it. Can I come in? CQ: No, I'll do the interview right here. You got questions? Shoot. TD: Well, first of all, what is your impression of Billy Shakespeare now? CQ: Same as before, I said he was a great wrestler, but I said I was better. I think I was outwrestling him all the way tonight except of course when Verhoeven interfered, and then when I made my one mistake at the end of the match. TD: So you think if Verhoeven did NOT interfere, you would have won the match? CQ: I get that impression, yeah. I was in total control. I think the chances are, I would have won the match. But I can't be sure about that, all I'm sure about is that I lost, plain and simple. I wish Shakespeare lots of luck in the tournament, but he's gotta realize that I want him again, and someday this match will have a sequel, and unlike most... it will NOT dissapoint. TD: You've got plans for Otto Verhoeven? CQ: Obviously. This guy is gonna be on me until I kick his [bleep] for good! I didn't get to where I am by ducking anybody, and Otto Verhoeven is neither the biggest man I've ever faced, nor is he the best. He's gonna find out that I take winning and losing very seriously. He may have cost me a match that I desperatly wanted to win, and he is gonna pay the ULTIMATE price for that! I'm gonna take him apart piece by piece, and he is gonna find out that it's a LOT harder to interfer in my matches from a hospital bed! TD: Well, Chris, thanks again for talking with me, and remember, there were no real losers tonight, you were both winners. [Quigley hears THAT tired cliche and flashes Dross an annoyed look.] CQ: Listen, I've got to get outta this stuff and into some real clothes, this interview is over. TD: Oka... [Quigley shuts the door in Dross's face in mid-sentence, as Dross glances back at the camera, and then the scene fades to black.] While Chris Quigley finds it tough at the top, Billy Shakespeare relishes the cleaner air in the top flight of the IIWF: [SCENE: Billy Shakespeare sits atop the IIWF Coliseum] BS: You can see a lot from up here. I've seen a lot more than I expected. I've seen the future of the IIWF, and its name may be "Quickstrike". I have seen what will become the present. That is, Billy Shakespeare wearing the Cruiserweight Belt. Oh, and I have seen the past. Shakespeare placed an anachronism in Julius Caeser, wherein a clock was heard to strike. But that little dramatic faux-pas is nothing compared to the lumbering hulk stuck in the past and bearing the name: Otto Verhoeven. When first you entered this federation you compared Goethe to Shakespeare. Look around you, yea, these weeks past. Randy Acorn brings the Bard with him to the ring. Quigley keeps a copy in his locker, even Pain, Inc. felt inclined to quote Macbeth. But no, not you "Butcher". If you have a desire to talk literature, then lo, let us talk. Should you want to wrestle, then let that happen. But you need to make up your mind, and have at it like men. For the nonce, to steal from Henry V, "Thou art a damned and luxurious mountain goat." [The shot fades out as Billy continues to stay seated.] What a night! As the IIWF embarks on its second nationwide tour, we'll be looking for even more exciting action. We kick off the tour in the Omni, Atlanta, GA, this Wednesday night! Special Interview: IIWF President Dan Spreadbury ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Tim Dross is seated on one side of a low glass table. IIWF President Dan Spreadbury is seated on the opposite side.] TD: It's now my privilege to welcome the IIWF President to the Control Centre. President Dan, thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to be here today. DS: It's my pleasure, Tim. Things have been rather hectic today in my office, but it's my duty to keep the fans of the IIWF informed about matters of such importance as those we have to discuss today. TD: You are, of course, referring to the press conference which we saw at the opening of the show, held by Don Antonio, and his lawyer, Mr. Bill Edelstein. How do you respond to their allegations that the IIWF's officials acted outside the boundaries of their power on Saturday Night in demanding an immediate rematch for the Intercontinental Championship? DS: Let me say straight off the bat that I completely and unreservedly stand by the decision of the match official in the ring on Saturday Night. He was faced with a tough call, and I honestly believe that the official acted in the best interests of everybody concerned. Don Antonio could hardly have been satisfied with the manner in which he captured the Intercontinental Championship, having blatantly flouted the rules of the match itself in order to gain victory -- given the Don's self-appointed role as "enforcer" here in the IIWF, I find the idea that he would be happy with a victory gained by breaking the rules somewhat surprising. Granted, the manner in which Tiger Claw then recaptured the title was similarly outside the rules of the IIWF's sanctioned regulations for a title defense, but due to the Don's incapacitation due to that second breach of the rules, there was no opportunity for a further rematch on Saturday Night. TD: Of course, I agree that the manner in which the title changed hands in both matches was less than satisfactory, but returning to my original question: how do you respond to the criticisms that the official acted outside the boundaries of his power in demanding an immediate rematch? DS: Tim, here are a few things that the esteemed Mr. Edelstein may have inadvertently skipped over when he was poring over the IIWF's charter looking for loopholes. Firstly, it is clearly stated that the IIWF President has the power to uphold or reverse any decision made by any appointed match official. Secondly, it is equally clearly stated that in a match situation, the appointed ring official has complete and total jurisdiction. By this, I mean to say that if the referee decides there must be an instant rematch, there must be an instant rematch. This total jurisdiction annuls any imposed limitations on the conditions of title matches, contractual or otherwise. TD: So the second title match on Saturday Night was legal? DS: Absolutely, and as such, unsatisfactory as it may be, the result stands. Tiger Claw is still the IIWF Intercontinental Champion. TD: Undoubtedly, Don Antonio's grievances also raise concerns from some that you are on the payroll of Brian Lau. DS: As the President of the IIWF, it is my job to give, as far as possible, everybody a fair crack of the whip. Everybody will remember the last time one of the IIWF's championships fell under the spotlight of controversy. TD: You're referring to the alleged criminal activities of then IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, the Subway Psycho? DS: That's right. As history records, I stripped the Psycho of the title, with great reluctance I might add, pending the clearing of his name. I heard no complaints from any of the wrestlers in the IIWF at that time, not even the Subway Psycho, who was extremely disappointed, but accepted the decision, as somebody of his noble nature is given to do. When he then failed to recapture the title at Midsummer Madness, he accepted the setback as one of the bumps on life's road. Of course, he has since left the IIWF, but from my contact with him, I have no reason to believe that any of the circumstances surrounding the manner in which he lost the World title have anything to do with his departure, and he is, of course, welcome back at any time. But I digress... when my hand was later forced to allow Tiger Claw to enter the final Survivors Match in lieu of the injured Robski at Midsummer Madness, Don Antonio and his entourage accused me of corruption. I spoke with the Don and his manager, and I believed that he was satisfied with the explanation I gave him. At any rate, he agreed at that point to desist from continuing voicing his discontent in such a manner. TD: Excuse me asking such a forthright question, but do you deny having any sort of preferential agreement with Brian Lau? DS: Of course. I categorically deny any involvement with Brian Lau. The relationship I have with Brian Lau is identical to that which I have with every other manager here in the IIWF. I try to run an honest and open league, I try not to censor or to censure. In the interests of both the fans and the wrestlers themselves, I believe openness and trust is essential to the continued prosperity of the IIWF. Such allegations as those currently directed at me bring the name of the league into disrepute, something which concerns me far more than any personal grievances directed at myself. However, all my attempts to contact Don Antonio over the weekend and yesterday failed, as I was fobbed off by various lawyers and lackeys. TD: Don Antonio refused to speak to you? DS: Yes, he did. While I was keen to reassure the Don that every effort would be made to give him the rematch that fairness and justice dictates should be his, just as soon as he is at peak performance once more, I was met with only obstacles and red tape. I can only assume that the Family had already decided to pursue legal action against the IIWF. TD: How do you feel about the threat of a civil law suit against the IIWF and yourself? DS: I find the idea absurd. However, if Mr. Edelstein is serious about pursuing such an idea, then I will have to take the matter very seriously indeed, and appropriate action would have to be taken. TD: What kind of action? DS: Obviously, the first stage would be to terminate the contracts of Don Antonio, Vinny Cappicola and their manager Salvatore Fiorello. Before anybody starts questioning the legality of such an issue, there exists in all wrestlers' and managers' contracts what is, in essence, a "mutual get-out" clause, allowing both sides to pull out of the contract providing adequate compensation of whatever kind, pecuniary or otherwise, is given. Mr. Edelstein will be well aware of this, I am sure. I sincerely hope that such termination will not become necessary. TD: And if it does? DS: Then we batten down the hatches, and if the Family's lawyers aren't prepared to negotiate an out-of-court settlement, get ready for an ugly battle in court. If necessary, I am willing to countersue the Family for libel. However, I'm confident that this situation will not escalate to that level. TD: What about the Intercontinental Championship belt that Don Antonio claims to have received anonymously? DS: I don't know all the facts about that, Tim. Obviously, that belt is not sanctioned as a title here in the IIWF, and despite my sympathy for the Family, if Don Antonio elects to proclaim himself the Intercontinental Champion wearing an unsanctioned belt, I would again be forced to take disciplinary action. TD: Any closing thoughts, President Dan? DS: Yes. In conclusion, I want to just reiterate my regret that Don Antonio has taken it upon himself to initiate legal proceedings against the IIWF, especially at a time when men of the Family's stature and power are really needed in the ring to fight the rising tide of rulebreaking in the league which upsets me as much as it upsets the fans. I have appointed a working party to present me with possible solutions to the problems posed to me on that front. I would also like to further deny any involvement with Brian Lau at any time, past, present, or future. Be honest, Tim, can you imagine a man of Lau's character paying off a Western official? TD: Given his hatred of all things American, it does seem rather unlikely. DS: Precisely. And finally, providing that Don Antonio is able to reach an amicable agreement with the IIWF to step back into the ring, I will sanction a rematch between Tiger Claw and Don Antonio with whatever stipulations the two parties agree on. The match may occur as soon as the Don is back at full strength. I hope the fans of the IIWF feel that I have acted fairly in this matter. TD: Well, thanks for being here with us today, President Dan. I hope that this situation can be resolved quickly and painlessly. DS: So do I, Tim. So do I. Thanks for having me here. I'll keep you posted on further developments. Newcomers Update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We heard some comments from the "White Phoenix" Shinja Crow on Saturday Night, and we'll be seeing him in action for the first time tomorrow night. For now, though, let's see his stats: "THE WHITE PHOENIX" SHINJA CROW Weight: 220lbs. Height: 6'2" Origin: Beijing, China (but has lived in San Francisco for 20 years) Appearance: Wrestles wearing pants from a karate gi, bare-footed. His upper body is covered with scars from fire, and he has a tattoo of an eagle covering his back. Bald except for a long braid. Often comes to the ring carrying a torch. Theme Music: The sound of a gong followed by an eagle's cry Orientation: Face Five Favorite Moves: 1. Double palm strike to face 2. Axe kick 3. Flying knife hand chop 4. Leg sweep 5. Aikido throw Finishing Move: The Phoenix Strike - after throwing his opponent into the corner post, he runs at his opponent from the opposite corner, executes a mid-air flip and connects with a jump spinning back kick Primary attributes: 1. Endurance 2. Intelligence 3. Aerial Profile: Shinja Chow is admittedly a bit disturbed. When he was a young boy in China, his house was set on fire. He attempted to go back inside and save his sister, but was trapped and nearly died. His family was forced to move to America and settled in San Francisco. He took up the martial arts in an attempt to find a focus to his life. He was fortunate to find a teacher who was truly wise and skilled, and taught him about honor and justice. He soon outstripped his master in ability. All seemed well until disaster struck-- a fire was set at his dojo. As the flames surrounded him, Shinja had a vision of a flaming bird which lifted him up in its claws, searing away his weakness. In that moment, Shinja died... and The White Phoenix was born. When he learned that his master had died in the fire, The Phoenix lost much of his grip on reality in his grief. He went hunting for those responsible for the fire. In his wanderings, he heard that the man who had set the fire was a wrestler, so he joined the world of profession wrestling to find him and take revenge. He has been part of several federations, and along the way discovered two things which surprised him. First, he genuinely enjoys putting on a show for the fans, and the cheers that he gets ease some of his pain and sadness. Secondly, he was shocked to find the level of corruption and rule-breaking that takes place. He sees himself as something of a lone hero, a ronin, and takes it upon himself to enforce his vision of justice and honor among his fellow wrestlers. [Handler: Dan Bradshaw (dreamkng@camelot.bradley.edu)] And another tag team has joined the ranks of the IIWF -- the Bill Collectors. Let's take a look at their stats: THE BILL COLLECTORS Manager: I. O. U. manager Theme Music: O'jays' "For the Love of Money" Orientation: Heel Origin: Kansas City, MO Wrestler: "TRU BALLER" RICKY MATTHEWS "MONEY GRIP" JOHN ROBBINS Weight: 273lbs 232lbs Height: 6'7" 6'1" Appearance: Comes to the ring in very Identical to Matthews'. flashy clothes. Wrestling tights are traditional style with a picture of a 1000 dollar bill with his picture on it on the back of tights. Five Moves: 1. DDT 1. Flying crossbody 2. Lariat 2. Sleeper hold 3. Powerslam 3. Frankensteiner 4. Irish Whip 4. Dropkick 5. Spinebuster 5. Figure four leglock Primary attributes: 1. Strength 1. Technical 2. Brawling 2. Aerial 3. Teamwork 3. Teamwork Tag team finisher: Credit Check - Ricky holds opponent in position for a side slam, and John performs a moonsault onto the opponent who is slammed to the mat. Profile: Matthews - Heel, but not a real cheater. Very arrogant and rude. Highly aggressive during matches. Uses cheap shots but never foriegn objects (manager uses a breifcase occaionally). Robbins - Highly similar to that of his partner, but he is more of a ladies' man, often flaunting in front of the crowd. He is a risktaker with an impressive aerial assault. His lack of strength is made up for by his speed and resilence. Likes to rake the eyes of his opponent when the ref's not looking. Quick to cheat, but won't use a foriegn object. Manager writes a bill and places on or throws at opponents after a victory. [Handler: Stephen Rowe (c693384@showme.missouri.edu)] The ranks of the IIWF will be closed again very soon, but only the IIWF Front Office knows exactly who will be joining the ranks in the next few days. I'll keep you posted. IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 11 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There's another incredible night of IIWF entertainment coming your way tomorrow night. Let's take a look at the matches we'll be seeing: Mr. Damage vs. Masked Marauder [J] [D] The Senate's affiliated bone-bender, Mr. Damage, has been unlucky in his matches recently. He performed well against Fisto Flash on Saturday, but the plan of the Senate to destroy the Iron Destroyer backfired and he went home with the loser's share of the purse money. He's adamant that it won't happen again tomorrow night. Atomic Destroyers vs. The Zodiac Connection [D] Larn and Steroid, freshly reunited after Larn's spell in hospital, will take on one of the many new tag teams to enter the IIWF, the Zodiac Connection, Scorpio and Taurus. You can expect a real slobberknocker in this one. The Destroyers haven't yet made a serious run at the tag belts here in the IIWF, and as long as they can stay out of the way of Heavy Metal, they're surely going to be contenders here in the near future. The Zodiacs, however, are convinced that the Destroyers will have to start their title run somewhere else: [SCENE: Scorpio and Zodiac stand in the IIWF Interview Area.] Scorpio: You know something...I have heard that the IIWF is filled with a lot of wrestlers who think they are the best even though they lie, cheat, and steal their way to the top!!! Well boys, be warned...the Zodiac Connection is coming to your town and we are coming with one mission...to clean up the IIWF. Guess what boys...your horoscopes say that you are in for the butt whipping that your momma should have given you a long time ago!!!!!!!!!! Tell them what I am talking about Taurus! Taurus: In astrology the Taurus is a bull. In the IIWF, Taurus will be the bull of the ring, taking out people who don't play by the rules. The people of the IIWF now have a team that will fight for honor...which means that we won't take the easy way out!!!! Look out for the Zodiac Connection! [Fade] The Bill Collectors vs. Steamroller [D] The money-grabbing Bill Collectors will also debut tomorrow night as they go up against the drifting former IIWF Tag Team Champions, Steamroller, the men who triumphed at Coronation Clash but seem to have lost direction terminally since then. Will Ricky Matthews and John Robbins have the firepower to take down Taylor and Brassow? This will be an acid test for both teams -- who has the teeth to survive here in the IIWF? "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. Sabin Figaro [D] Billy Sexton's run at the Intercontinental Championship may have been halted, but the "Painbringer"'s convinced that the setback is only temporary. He plans to bounce back from defeat at the hands of Casey "Blackheart" James last week to victory over the "Royalty of the Street" Sabin Figaro, possibly the busiest man in the wrestling world. We'll find out tomorrow night whether his many distractions are costing his career... Prisoner #109 vs. The Hangman [D] The brutal ex-con Prisoner #109 goes up against one of the few other men in the IIWF who know brutality as well, the Hangman. This match will be a real power battle -- both of these athletes are big men with a lot of devastating moves in their arsenals. The presence of the Senator, should he be at ringside and not off wheeling and dealing in his role as political mastermind, could be decisive. The White Phoenix vs. Joe Latta We've heard from the White Phoenix, but we'll get our first chance to see the man who has a frightening affinity with fire tomorrow night as he goes against the wonderboy of the Syndicate, Joe Latta. One of the most promising rookies of yesterday is turning into one of the most promising young superstars in the IIWF, and he'll attempt to use his masterful blend of plain old-fashioned power moves and more esoteric Eastern styles learned from stablemates Tiger Claw and Hakiro Matsuoko. Will the martial arts expertise of the White Phoenix, along with the element of surprise he possesses, be enough to take Shinja Crow to victory? We'll find out... "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Marty Warnett Simon Lebec has bones to pick with both Warnett and Billy Shakespeare, who orchestrated a victory over the arrogant self-styled actor for rookie Warnett a little while ago on Saturday Night. Now we have a rematch, and Lebec will attempt to finish the lesson he started teaching Warnett just over a week ago. Whether Marty is in the mood for learning or not remains to be seen. "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. Vinny Cappicola Randy Acorn may have unfinished business with Prisoner #109, but that didn't stop him launching in with an attack on Vinny Cappicola on Saturday Night. Now he's going to have to go up against the Family's big powerhouse tomorrow night, and whether the smaller Acorn has the brains or the brawn to get past Vinny is the central issue in this match. If Cappicola takes him out early with power moves, Vinny will have the match in the bag. However, the longer the battle goes, the more in Acorn's favour the balance swings. Let's hear from the "Badboy": [SCENE: Randy Acorn is seen sitting in a chair, in a dimly lit room. He has an arrogant smile on his face and beads of sweat running down his body. He turns towards the camera and begins to speak..] "Well, it seems that I've had the element of surprise on my side lately in the IIWF. I have surprised many people like that prisoner guy, Billy Beatoff, and my latest victim, Vinny Cappochino. I swear, if these guys don't start addressing me as the badass that I am, well maybe my next surprise I have for them will be not only painful to them but also very painful to their careers. When I heard about this fed, they said it had some of the top names in wrestling and so I thought that I could make myself an even bigger name by coming here, you know, the guy no one wants to [BLEEP] with. Well Cappochino, you're the man that has [BLEEP]ed with me by signing a simple contract and I assure you that on Wednesday, you will realize just how big of a mistake that was. [Randy stands up, stretches, and lets out a loud yawn. He begins to walk away but turns back around to say something else] "Oh yeah. Fans of the IIWF, you're going to love what I have in store for you guys on Wednesday. Where and when it will come at, you won't know until it happens... but when it happens, believe me, you won't only be shocked, you will fear the presence of me because not only do you not know where I am, you also don't know when I will attack. The Family had better bring on all reinforcements because once I take out their head honcho, I may decide to beat on a couple of them as well." [Randy turns around and walks away with a sarcastic laugh. He turns around and gives the camera the finger as it fades to black] "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven Otto Verhoeven has been lurking in the shadows for some time, causing problems for Chris Quigley, whose unbeaten run here in the IIWF was effectively ended by the Teutonic terror's interference in his match with Billy Shakespeare on Saturday Night. Quigley will attempt to mete out some rough justice to the huge German tomorrow night, but he'd better beware the Meat Hook second rope chokeslam, and the deadly Slaughterslam. Even the established journeyman might have trouble kicking out after either of those devastating holds. Dan Kauffman vs. Casey "Blackheart" James Dan Kauffman continues his crusade against the Syndicate with a match against former ally Casey "Blackheart" James. Kauffman has stated that he'll go through anybody he has to in order to get to Joe Latta, the former friend who recently knocked him out of the Cruiserweight Championship tournament. Latta has been responsible for the change in attitude of Kauffman in recent weeks, and we'll see just what state of mind Dan is in tomorrow night as he goes up against the blackhearted one. ================================================== IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINALS: ================================================== Billy Shakespeare vs. Hakiro Matsuoko Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Man Of Steel Man Of Steel vs. Billy Shakespeare -------------------------------------------------- The IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament reaches its dizzying finale tomorrow night, and with the final three matches going down in the Omni, we _will_ see a champion crowned! Each of the three remaining wrestlers will face each other, meaning that all three will fight two matches in the same night. Should there be a two or three-way tie, then there will be a no time-limit sudden death match between the wrestlers concerned until a decision is reached. So if both Billy Shakespeare and Hakiro Matsuoko score one victory and draw in their match due to a double countout, then the match will continue until there is a winner! Likewise, if all three men score one victory each, then there will be a sudden death three-way dance until two men have been eliminated, and the last man standing will be the first IIWF Cruiserweight Champion! Let's just remind ourselves of how these three men came to be in the finals with a look at the brackets: First Round Semi-finals Finals [ Dan Kauffman ]-. |-[ Dan Kauffman ]-. [ Bob Hansen ]-' | |-[ Hakiro Matsuoko ] [ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-. | |-[ Hakiro Matsuoko ]-' [ Simon Lebec ]-' [ Man Of Steel ]-. |-[ Man Of Steel ]-. [ Pale Rider ]-' | |-[ Man Of Steel ] [ Tiger Claw ]-. | |-[ Tiger Claw ]-' [ Crimson Storm ]-' [ Chris Quigley ]-. |-[ Chris Quigley ]-. [ Takezo Musashi ]-' | | [ B. Shakespeare ]-. |-[ B. Shakespeare ] |-[ B. Shakespeare ]-' [ Randy Acorn ]-' That's how the tournament has shaped up. It will reach its exciting conclusion tomorrow night! Don't miss it! The IIWF Golden Grapple Awards - 12 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All the stars in the galaxy of the IIWF will come out to shine this Thursday night as we prepare for one of the most glittering nights in the IIWF's history: the first ever IIWF Golden Grapple Awards. With all the IIWF superstars on hand, we'll be handing out some gorgeous golden gongs to the most deserving athletes. Allow me to preview just some of the awards that we'll see presented in just a couple of days time: BIGGEST SURPRISE: Favourites for this award include the Outlaw's infamous double double-cross of both the Horsemen and the American Heroes in a single night; and the sudden changes of heart by Joe Latta, Hakiro Matsuoko and Casey James to join the Syndicate all figure highly, too. WORST DRESSED WRESTLER: Will the lurid colours of the Punster's attire take him to the heady heights of the Worst Dressed Wrestler award? Or will the Man Of Steel leave with the gong? BEST MATCH: We've seen some phenomenal encounters here in the IIWF -- Hakiro Matsuoko losing to Tiger Claw at Ring Wars -- the Subway Psycho capturing the title from the Outlaw, also at Ring Wars -- the phenomenal Survivors Match at Midsummer Madness, and countless others besides. Which match had the fans on the edges of their seats? MOST MISSED DEPARTED ATHLETE: Will this award have to be mailed over to Paraguay to reach the Alphabet Boys? Or perhaps Tony Starks, who is now said to be undergoing physiotherapy in the hopes of walking again, will capture this sentimental award. BEST ANNOUNCER: Surely there's no competition for this coveted crown. WORST INTERVIEWER: Who will get the dishonourable mention for their own dishonourable mentionings on Thursday Night? Certainly not "Nuclear" John Bomber, who never opens his mouth... BEST FINISHER: Some of the most spectacular and most devastating trademark manoeuvres have their homes in the IIWF. Surely the favourites for this award must be the Lights Out clothesline of Dan Kauffman, the Starsault Press of the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, and the Derailer of the Subway Psycho. BEST MANAGER: The award Salvatore Fiorello never thought he'd even be in the running for. Will the Family's patriarch go home with gold of his own, or will the ever-present Brian Lau, or the most dangerous man who ever lived, the "Outlaw" Josey Wales, take home the award? BEST NEWCOMER: With so much new blood entering the IIWF recently, any number of athletes could capture this auspicious title: current favourites are "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. BEST TAG TEAM: The IIWF Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces, will be hoping to go home with this award to add to their collection of gold, but the High Plains Drifters, Stunt Team USA and the Atomic Destroyers will also be gunning for this gong. BEST SINGLES WRESTLER: Possibly the most prestigious award of them all. Deathbringer, Dan Kauffman, Tiger Claw, Billy Shakespeare -- all the big guns of the IIWF want to take home this award, which symbolises the adoration and appreciation of the IIWF's great fans. I'll be hosting this great event, folks, along with "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, and anybody who's anybody in the IIWF will be there. You should be too! Don't miss the first ever Golden Grapple Awards, coming at you this Thursday! IIWF Saturday Night - 14 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This Saturday Night's event will originate live from the Coliseum, in Charlotte, North Carolina. Hopefully the damage caused by Hurricane Fran won't have damaged the venue too much, and you can bet that the IIWF will send another hurricane through the state with the event this Saturday Night! - IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: = Deathbringer vs. The Sandman Let's hear from the IIWF Champion, the man from the dark side, now: [SCENE: Inside the mortuary] DB: It has come to my attention that many people see no difference between darkness and evil. This is a grave mistake. And it is a mortal mistake. [Deathbringer walks around some of the coffins and comes to a halt right in front of the camera] Every mortal fears Death, every mortal fears the dark side. You must not be ashamed of these feelings. Be honest to yourself, accept your boundaries. What is it you fear? The unknown in general? Or the evil that lurks in the darkness? It is not wise to fear the unknown, for everything is unknown until it reveals itself. And there is no cause to fear the darkness because of its evil side. Evil is spread everywhere, in bright places as well as in dark ones. Do not think that it is the darkness that makes mortals the maniacs they sometimes are. They just fear to see their own faces, so they hide in the shadows. But darkness itself is nothing to hide from. It can engulf you and protect you from harm. It can be your friend, but you have to accept it. But first of all, you can trust in the darkness. It will always be there, no matter what happens around it. It will always be a constant factor, in peace just like in war. So let us not make this upcoming war a battle between darkness and light, let us make it a battle between good and evil. However, no matter what side you choose, never forget: Obey the reaper... [Fade] The Outlaw, J.W. Hardin, is also expected to be in action this Saturday Night, so you can expect sparks to fly: [Fade in on a desert at dusk. The flames of a campfire flicker to life as a lone figure stokes the wood with a stick. As the end of the stick glows red and begins smoking, the camera pans and shows Outlaw J.W. Hardin carefully examining the burning wood.] JWH: Isn't it ironic how a simple flame can make such a difference... just a like a flame that burns within a man? My campfire now burns, but this stick has paid the price. My desire now burns... and others in the IIWF have paid the price. Ah, but that is far too cryptic and many of you do not understand. Newcomers to the IIWF like Marty Walnut and the White Phoney simply label me as some leader of an evil cause. Perhaps it is time to set the record straight. Have I formed some coalition in the IIWF? I think not. I have merely provided a spark which allows others to look inside themselves and determine their own courses of action. Certainly I admire men like Brian Lau, Tiger Claw, Herr Verhoeven, Josey Wales, and the Hangman because they are true to themselves. The Dark Knights? They hope to have someone choose their path for them? Hah! Do it for yourselves, gentlemen, but follow the fire which burns within yourselves. And recognize, as the wise Brian Lau recently said, who shares your common enemies. Which brings me to my own personal goal... the annihilation of Deathbringer. Oh, play it as a battle of good versus evil if you will... but this "dark side," as people have called it, is merely who I am. Deathbringer claims not to have taken a side, yet he assists my enemies. Therefore, I must understand who and what he is before we do battle. And you already know I have found the right teacher. [The camera pans to a figure silhouetted against the setting desert sun and then back to Hardin.] It's time for lesson number one. Listen up IIWF suits, I want a match Saturday night. Walnut, Cappucino, Punkster, it doesn't matter who. And I do hope you can be in attendance this time, Deathbringer, because I think you'll be interested in the result. [Hardin holds the stick close to the camera lens. The tip still burns red.] What a pity that some must pay the price for stoking the flames of another. [He pushes the stick into the sand and it is quickly extinguished. Hardin begins laughing as the camera pans back to the mystery figure before fading to black.] The Outlaw clearly has something planned for Deathbringer. Maybe we'll find out just what that is this weekend. Further matches are yet to be signed for Saturday's card, but I'll update you on the complete lineup in Friday's report. Latest Rankings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The omission of the Subway Psycho from the current singles rankings continues, as the front office informs me that the Psycho has officially withdrawn from his contract and has effectively left the IIWF. I can't quite believe that this is the case, folks. The Psycho has been one of the most popular athletes in the history of the IIWF, and his departure leaves a void which no other wrestler can fill. I'm desperately trying to contact the Psycho, but so far with no success. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 15 11 2 2 80% (WC) WC Tiger Claw H 20 11 8 1 58% (IC) IC Vacant - - - - - - (-) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Outlaw J.W. Hardin H 13 9 2 2 77% (1) 1= Billy Shakespeare F 13 10 3 0 77% (2) 1= Chris Quigley F 4 3 1 0 75% (29) 3 Dan Kauffman F 14 9 3 2 71% (4) 4 Billy Sexton H 10 7 3 0 70% (5) 5 Hakiro Matsuoko H 11 7 3 1 68% (7) 7 Vinny Cappicola F 7 4 2 1 64% (3) 8 The Sandman H 5 3 2 0 60% (18=) 9= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 5 3 2 0 60% (18=) 9= Don Antonio F 12 7 5 0 58% (8) 11 Brad "Bodybag" Kinder H 17 9 7 1 56% (9) 12 The Punster F 8 4 3 1 56% (17) 13 Casey James H 13 6 5 2 54% (10) 14 Robski H 11 6 5 0 54% (15) 15 Man Of Steel F 17 8 7 2 53% (11) 16 Blackjack Haley H 15 6 6 3 50% (12) 17 Fisto Flash H 13 6 6 1 50% (23) 18 Prince of Darkness H 13 5 5 3 50% (24) 19 Simon Lebec H 12 6 6 0 50% (13) 20 Joe Latta H 11 5 5 1 50% (14) 21 The Hangman H 7 3 3 1 50% (16) 22 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 3 1 1 1 50% (20=) 23= Prisoner #109 H 3 1 1 1 50% (20=) 23= Magus H 8 3 5 0 38% (25) 25 Marty Warnett F 3 1 2 0 33% (22) 26 Mr. Damage H 7 2 5 0 29% (27) 27 "Nuclear" John Bomber F 7 1 6 0 14% (28) 28 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Otto Verhoeven H 3 3 0 0 100% (30) 29 Sabin Figaro F 1 1 0 0 100% (31) 30 Pale Rider H 2 0 2 0 0% (32) 31 Archangel F 1 0 1 0 0% (-) 32 The White Phoenix F - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Let's take a look at the tag rankings: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Armed Forces H 8 6 2 0 75% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ High Plains Drifters H 15 11 4 0 73% (1) 1 Stunt Team USA F 14 9 5 0 64% (2) 2 Atomic Destroyers H 9 4 4 1 50% (3) 3 Aces of the Deep F 2 1 1 0 50% (8) 4 Steamroller F 7 2 5 0 29% (4) 5 Law & Disorder F 5 1 4 0 20% (5) 6 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heavy Metal H 4 4 0 0 100% (6) 7 Rising Sun Revolution F 4 4 0 0 100% (7) 8 The Arabian Knights H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 9 Pain Inc. H 1 0 1 0 100% (-) 10 The Zodiac Connection F - - - - - (-) - The Bill Collectors H - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, that just about wraps up today's update, folks. Don't forget that Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will be back with the first stop on the IIWF's second tour tomorrow night in the Omni, Atlanta, Georgia, and I'll be back at you on Thursday with the first ever Golden Grapple Awards. In Friday's update, I'll have the complete lineup for this weekend's action, plus all the news, comments and interviews you can handle, including an update on the status of Don Antonio and the Intercontinental Championship, as well as my Dross Report! It's a big week here in the IIWF -- don't miss one moment of the action! For now, though, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+