[Fade up onto monochrome, slow-motion footage of various matches from the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament: Dan Kauffman battling "Illumaniti" Bob Hansen; Hakiro Matsuoko defeating "Showstopper" Simon Lebec; Man Of Steel getting past Pale Rider; Tiger Claw performing a spinning kick on Crimson Storm; Chris Quigley pinning the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi; Billy Shakespeare performing the Curtain Call on "Badboy" Randy Acorn... Over these scenes, a voice over:] LM: The IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament. It has been a long road to the finals. Many of the men who entered the bracketing fell by the wayside as the numbers were whittled down in some of the most exciting matches the IIWF has ever seen... [Clips of semi-final matches roll across the screen in a similar monochrome fashion: the wild brawl between Dan Kauffman and the Syndicate; Man Of Steel pinning Tiger Claw as the crowd goes wild; Billy Shakespeare executing a German suplex on Chris Quigley for the pinfall.] LM: Finally, however, three men remain. Tonight they will each have to fight at least two matches. Eventually, one man will be left standing as the dust clears, and that man will be the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion. But who will it be? [The shots fade into colour as Hakiro Matsuoko is seen in various clips from his IIWF past: his triumph in the Intercontinental Championship battle royal; his missed moonsault from the top of the cage at Ring Wars; his attack on the Subway Psycho...] LM: The "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko -- the first man to wear the IIWF Intercontinental Championship belt around his waist. Will Brian Lau's winged warrior also be the first to wear the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship belt? [The shots fade through to images of the Man Of Steel; his alliance with Casey James; James turning on Steel at Midsummer Madness; the Street Fight that followed; Steel pinning Tiger Claw...] LM: The Man Of Steel -- the underdog throughout the tournament. By defeating Tiger Claw, he proved he has a heart of steel, too. Can the underdog become top dog in tonight's finals? [The shots again fade through to images of Billy Shakespeare; his battles with Moondust; his matches with Dan Kauffman and Brad Kinder; clips from his thrilling match with Chris Quigley...] LM: Billy Shakespeare -- for so long he has waited in the wings, and with victory over Chris Quigley just last Saturday Night, the one who is "born to perform" will attempt to claim the spotlight tonight. But will the curtain fall before the final act? [A graphic of the glimmering gold Cruiserweight belt fades into view. It spins as the voice concludes:] LM: Three men. One ultimate prize. Tonight! _LIVE_ from the Omni, in Atlanta, Georgia, get ready for IIWF Midweek Mayhem! [The opening graphics explode onto the screen:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- L I V E * The Omni, Atlanta, GA * L I V E 11 September 1996 [Opening graphics fade through to interior shots of the Omni, packed to the rafters with screaming fans, a sea of hands, faces and signs. Fireworks explode high in the rafters of the arena as the shot pans down the aisle to the broadcast table at ringside, at which stand Larry Morton and Becky LaRue.] LM: Welcome to the Omni, Atlanta, Georgia! Welcome to the IIWF's second national tour! Welcome to another _live_ edition of IIWF Midweek Mayhem! I'm Larry Morton, and beside me, as always, is the dazzling Becky LaRue. What a show we have lined up tonight, Becky! BL: [sarcastic] Ooh, I can hardly wait. At _least_ three matches featuring the runts of the IIWF... and no Brad Kinder anywhere to be seen. LM: Sadly not, Becky, but you shouldn't miss him tonight, with all the incredible action coming your way! We will see the first ever IIWF Cruiserweight Champion crowned tonight... but we've also got some other phenomenal encounters scheduled... BL: Pace yourself, Larry. You'll run out of superlatives. LM: Dan Kauffman will meet Casey "Blackheart" James as he continues his personal crusade against the Syndicate. We'll also see another man who was narrowly edged out of the Cruiserweight Tournament, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, take on the man whom he blames for not being in the finals tonight, the Teutonic terror, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. BL: Quigley's going to learn tonight that there's nothing more damning than misplaced confidence -- especially in oneself. LM: That was very poetic, Becky. Those college classes must be paying off. BL: Thanks, Larry, you little worm. LM: My pleasure, Becky. In other action tonight, we'll see the debut of the White Phoenix, a man with an amazing history, as he takes on Joe Latta. BL: Well, one thing's for sure... we won't be seeing any roast coffee here tonight! I heard that the Phoenix's scars aren't from any fires -- they came from asking the Alphabet Boys to perform his cosmetic surgery... LM: Stop that, Becky! Sometimes it amazes me that you can belittle the struggles of others to such a degree. We'll also see a rematch between "Showstopper" Simon Lebec and Marty Warnett tonight. BL: I understand that Lebec is still rather unhappy with Billy Shakespeare after the events of a couple of weeks ago. I don't think he needs to worry, though -- Miss Crystal's got more sense than to go off with a little Willie. LM: [sighs] We'll also see another man who apparently still has a bone to pick with Shakespeare, the "Badboy" Randy Acorn, battling a man whom he cost a match with Otto Verhoeven on Saturday Night, Vinny Cappicola. It seems that Acorn didn't read his copy of "How to Make Friends and Influence People." BL: No, I believe he read a far more interesting book -- "How to Break Bones and Infuriate People." LM: Of course, we'll also be speaking some more about the controversy surrounding the IIWF Intercontinental Championship later on in the show, and we'll be talking a little bit about tomorrow night's Golden Grapple Awards, too. So we've got a very packed show for you tonight! Before we get to the live action, however, let's just recap on the matches we've already seen before we came on air: - PRISONER #109 scored a victory over THE HANGMAN in tonight's opening match, when Fisto Flash came down to ringside. As P109 whipped the Hangman into the ropes, Fisto smashed the Hangman in the back with his exposed steel fist. Apparently the referee was unsighted, since he allowed the match to continue, and the vicious ex-con executed a backbreaker on the huge Hangman to gain the pinfall victory. What's it going to take to settle things between the Stone Stable and the Senate, Becky? BL: I say we should just put those six guys in a steel cage and let them fight it out until there's only three left standing. LM: I dare say something like that will happen somewhere down the line. Billy Sexton was in action earlier tonight, and before his match he made the following comments to his opponent, Sabin Figaro: [Cut to Billy Sexton stomping around his locker room. He turns to the camera and speaks:] "OH YEAH! Have you heard the news? Have you seen the light? Sabin Figaro, pain is going to be your light. You see, my friend, every time there is going to be a title shot. The almighty President always turns me down. Why, I hear you ask... well, baby, I'll tell ya. You see they don't want me as a champion 'cause the IIWF is afraid I'll do to every competitor what I am about to do to you. You will taste my new and improved armbar. Baby, you thought the last one was bad, well baby, this time it's worse. So Sabin Figaro I hope you have a high tolerance for pain. 'Cause the Painbringer Billy Sexton is in town and baby, you're next! OH YEAH!" [Cut back to ringside.] LM: - "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON did indeed defeat SABIN FIGARO tonight with his excruciating armbar. It was a highly competitive matchup, Figaro trying his hardest to stay out of the way of Sexton's submission holds and keep him down with his power moves, but in the end, a single mistake on Sab's part was enough to let Sexton in with his unbreakable armbar. Sab fought it for nearly a minute, but the pain was too much, and he was forced to submit. Sexton can't be overlooked for a title shot much longer, Becky. BL: Well, if the Man In Tights can get a title shot, so can Billy Sexton. LM: Before we move on, let's get comments from Mr. Damage, who earlier on faced the Masked Marauder: [Cut to pretaped footage of Mr. Damage standing in the locker room. He speaks:] "Tonight the IIWF has sanctioned a match between myself, Mr Damage, and the unknown Masked Marauder. As everyone knows I like to study my opponents. Using my endless resources I did happen to find a tape of the Masked Marauder in action -- except it wasn't wrestling action was it? Marauder what was the name of that farm animal you were with? No wonder you wear a mask. I wouldn't show my face in public again after that disgusting display either...... Marauder, you're a dead man! There is nothing I hate more than cruelty to animals -- except maybe Fisto Flash who was a lucky man that I got disqualified last Saturday. It's not like I needed the Hangman's help was it?! But before I went out I said to the Hangman, "I don't care what the result will be of this match if you want another shot at this poonce come in at any time." Flash, I'm sure our paths will cross again real soon.......... "I haven't finished talking yet. When I talk I expect every one to shut up and listen to what I have to say. Vincent Cafe Latte, Short Black or whatever your friggin' name is. Wednesday you were a lucky man, I'm not going to stand here and make excuses for myself. I think I touched on a raw nerve because you were fairly upset. I am not going to apologise for what I said about you, the Don or your Family. And don't you ever spell my name wrong My name is Brian Damage, not Brain Damage, but you can call me "Sir". Firstly I have enrolled you at Community College so you can learn to speak English -- don't worry, I'll pay. Then I'll enrol you in Madame Dubois school of Ettiquette and Grooming and then I'll enrol you in Mr Damage's Finishing School when I will finish you for good. Don Antonio is going to put me in "da hospital" is he? I swear to god I will put the don in "da cemetary". The Don has still got your mother's Tortellini all round his face go have a wash. I better get off the subject of mothers because I just got off on yours!" [Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: - MR. DAMAGE destroyed the MASKED MARAUDER, taking him apart piece by piece with some of his most hard-hitting manoeuvres, before finishing his opponent off with his Thunderstruck legdrop. - Newcomers THE BILL COLLECTORS failed to get past former IIWF World Tag Team Champions STEAMROLLER in their debut. Despite recent disappointing performances, Taylor and Brassow pulled out a victory tonight, hitting the Steamrollerplex on Ricky Matthews for the victory. Do you think tonight's performance will see the start of a revival for Steamroller, Becky? BL: No way, Larry. Those two chickens just did one more circuit of the barn after having their heads cut off. Their careers are dead. End of story. LM: In the final match before we came on air: - Debutant tag team THE ZODIAC CONNECTION were disqualified through no fault of their own in their match with the ATOMIC DESTROYERS when the Senator's men were attacked by Heavy Metal, who simply stormed the ring and began beating on Larn and Steroid, directed from the outside by Robo Stone. I'm really beginning to think that we should get some kind of injunction slapped onto these two teams, especially when innocent bystanders like the Zodiac Connection come out on the wrong end of the draw. Taurus and Scorpio were impressive here tonight, and they were certainly well-received by the crowd, but their luck was just a little short. BL: Everybody knows astrology is a load of old cobblers. The only kind of stars the Zodiac Connection will be seeing are the ones circling their heads after getting them beaten in by every other tag team in the IIWF. LM: I'm sure that's not the case, Becky. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] Without further ado, let's go up to Sparkplug Lee for tonight's opening match! [Cut to Simon Lebec standing in his locker room. Francois stands behind his right shoulder.] SL: Ya know......ya feed 'em once and the strays keep coming back!! Okay rookie.....ya beat me once, I'll admit. It won't happen again, that I can tell you. Just pray the when I slap the "Antagonist" on you, I don't end your career before it starts. Hey Shakespeare... Crystal won't be at ringside tonight. She has a hair appointment. However, the big guy will be there [pointing to Francois] so if you wanna dance, his dance card ain't full yet. [Cut back to ringside.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Marty Warnett =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: Well, this is a rematch of sorts. Last time, Marty won with a surprise pinfall. BL: Thanks to that pig Shakespeare. He came out and started putting moves on Miss Crystal. That would distract anyone. LM: I thought that wrestlers were supposed to be professional and focus on the match. BL: Lebec was being professional. Miss Crystal handles some of Lebec's business transactions. If Shakespeare were to turn her against Lebec, well, he'd be in a lot of trouble. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Cardiff, Wales, and weighing in at 245lbs, here is: Maaaaaarrrrtyyyyyy Waaaaarrrrnett! ["Cold Gin" blasts through the speakers, and Marty Warnett "rocks out" down the aisle. He looks confident, and showboats a bit for the fans on his way to the ring.] BL: Little uppity rookie. Look at him. One lucky win and suddenly he's world champ, is that it? LM: No, Becky. He's just got a bit more confidence now. I mean, beating Lebec is a pretty good credential for a "Rock and Roll" rookie, wouldn't you say? BL: Larry, you don't even know what rock is... RA: His opponent, hailing from Hollywood, California, accompanied to the ring by Francois, Siiiiimonnnnn Leeeebeeeec! [Lebec's theme rings out through the PA, and he and Francois stride out flaunting Lebec's Academy award. The fans jeer him, but Lebec just waves them off.] LM: Speaking of confidence, Becky, Lebec isn't short on it. BL: That's because he's earned the right to act that way. Look at the awards he's won. LM: You don't believe that those awards are real, do you? BL: What are you implying, Larry? [Lebec enters the ring and hands his attire to Francois, who takes the award and the attire and leaves the ring. The ref calls for the bell, starting the match. Lebec motions for Warnett to come closer. Warnett does, and Lebec starts saying something to him. Warnett rolls his eyes, and Lebec gives him a stiff shot to the side of the head. Warnett is staggered, and Lebec follows up with a clothesline. Warnett goes down, and Lebec picks him back up, executing a snap suplex. Warnett is flat out on the mat, and Lebec begins to work on his left leg.] LM: Lebec wasted no time getting to work on Warnett's leg... I wonder why? BL: You idiot, it's because his finisher is a stepover toe-hold type maneuver... Whoever gave you your education in wrestling holds must have been dumb... Who was it, Larry? Dan Kauffman? [Lebec stretches Warnett's hamstring, and then goes to lock on the Antagonist. Warnett kicks Lebec away, sending him through the ropes. Lebec falls to the floor, but quickly picks himself back up and walks over to Francois. The two confer about something, and Francois nods his head as Lebec enters the ring. Warnett has gotten up and shaken his leg injury off. The two lock up, and Warnett comes out on top with a bear hug, which he quickly turns into a belly-to-belly suplex. Warnett goes for the cover... 1 - kickout by Lebec. Warnett drops an elbow on Lebec, and puts him into a Boston Crab. The ref checks to see if Lebec quits, and behind his back, Francois puts the award onto the ring apron. Lebec powers out of the Crab, and Warnett quickly locks on a side headlock. Lebec gets to his feet, and throws Warnett into the ropes. He goes to execute a knee breaker, but Warnett reverses it into a huricaranna. The Ref counts... 1 - 2 - Lebec powers out and reverses the pin... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Warnett. Lebec gets up a little too slowly, and Warnett kicks Lebec in the midsection. He executes a DDT, and Lebec is down on the mat. Warnett locks on The End, a figure four. The ref checks with the screaming Lebec, but Lebec doesn't give up. Francois jumps onto the apron and begins complaining to the ref, and the ref goes over to get him down. Lebec reaches behind him and grabs the conveniently placed award. He sits up and smashes the award into Marty's head, Marty falls back, and Lebec breaks the hold while he gets rid of the award.] LM: Oh, come on! That's a disqualification! BL: It ain't a crime if ya don't get caught, Larry... [Lebec covers Warnett, but the ref is busy with Francois. Francois points to the action, and the ref turns around and counts... 1 - 2 - 3!! Dng! Ding! Ding! Lebec gets up and limps out of the ring, picking his award up. He walks back up the aisle with Francois giving him support for his hurting leg. As Lebec is about to disappear through the curtain at the top of the walkway, Warnett struggles to his feet and demands the microphone. He shouts up the aisle at Lebec:] MW: Hey! Hey, you! [Lebec turns and looks back at Warnett] Oh, yeah, what a big shot. I beat you in our last match, Lebec, and I had you beat here in the ring tonight. I had your ass whipped like a dog! [Pop] But you had to cheat. You had to whack me with that phoney award. Just as well it's only made of plastic, or it could have really hurt. [Pop!] I bet it says, "Made in Taiwan" on the base. [Pop! Lebec looks angered at the top of the aisle, but stays where he is.] So, we're one apiece. Whaddya say we meet again, one last time? Prove it was no fluke... You name the time, you name the place. I'll be there. And how's about upping the stakes a little bit -- let's make it a Hair vs. Hair match: the winner gets to cut the loser's hair. [Pop!] You look like you're in need of a trim, Lebec... whaddya say? [Warnett drops the microphone and climbs up onto the turnbuckles, beckoning Lebec back to the ring. Lebec sneers back in Warnett's direction, then throws down his hand dismissively before continuing back to the locker room.] LM: Well, if Lebec is so confident, why doesn't he get back in the ring? BL: Why should he? He won... That's the final decision. [Warnett is visibly put out by Lebec's dismissal.] LM: Well, we saw Lebec's true colours there... BL: That's right, Larry. The colours of a winner. LM: I thought the prevailing tint was sort of yellow... never mind. In a few moments, we'll see the first of tonight's Cruiserweight Championship Tournament finals, but first, I'm going to be interviewing the White Phoenix ahead of his match with Joe Latta. I'll be back in a minute or two, Becky. BL: Oh, no hurry, Larry. [Morton gets up and leaves the announcers' table. He takes a microphone from the ring announcer and enters the ring.] LM: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time I wish to introduce to you a newcomer who is already heating up the ranks of the IIWF. Tonight he'll make his debut against Joe Latta. Will you please welcome the White Phoenix! [The arena lights drop. The Phoenix appears at the head of the aisle, carrying a torch and wearing a full gi. He walks slowly to the ring. The lights don't come back on.] LM: [yelling] Can we have some light, please? WP: Stand back. [Larry Morton backs away. The Phoenix screams like an eagle and touches the torch to his jacket. The fire spreads across his body until it's covered in flames.] LM: Holy smoke! Someone get the fire extinguisher! [There is general commotion as emergency personnel run to the ring. By the time they arrive, though, the flames have died off. The Phoenix stands, unharmed. The lights come back up.) LM: I must admit, you do know how to make an enterance. WP: Thank you. I do that not for drama, but to feel the power of the fire once again. LM: There have been some people in the IIWF that are saying you are... you know... a little disturbed. Something of a firebug. WP: The fire is simply the exterior mask of my inner desire. When all else was taken from me by the flames, when my teacher, my home, my sister, died in the fire, when the flames killed me, I was infused with an inner passion. LM: And, from what you have told me previously, you are aiming that fire straight at the Syndicate. WP: That is correct. There are many who fight dishonorably, who break the rules, who seek to cause only pain. All of them are my targets. But the Syndicate are my enemies, because I have seen what they have done recently. First, the attack on The Subway Psycho, then the recent brawl with The Family. I will bring searing justice to the Syndicate. Tiger Claw, you will be my greatest test, but I will defeat you as well. LM: There are some rumors about a problem you have with Brian Lau. Do you care to comment about this? WP: Not at this time, except to say that as the Syndicate falls, it will bring me joy to see their master fall as well. LM: Thank you very much. Ladies and gentlemen, the enigmatic White Phoenix! [The Phoenix leaves the ring to a moderate pop and heads back up the aisle, a single spotlight following his passage. Larry Morton rejoins Becky LaRue at the announcers' table.] BL: I think your eyebrows are a little singed, Larry. LM: He's hot stuff, Becky, that's for sure. Right now let's see one of the Syndicate in action, as Hakiro Matsuoko takes on Billy Shakespeare in tonight's first Cruiserweight Championship Tournament final. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINAL: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. Hakiro Matsuoko =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring, nearly tripping over the bottom rope. Lisa giggles as the embarrassed ring announcer lifts his microphone to speak.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is the first of tonight's IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Finals. Introducing first, coming down the aisle accompanied by Brian Lau, hailing from Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 220lbs, here is: the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko! [Fireworks at the head of the aisle shoot flame out into the arena. Hakiro emerges in his ceremonial costumery, Brian Lau bringing up the rear. He laughs at a homemade sign reading "Butsu -- what?!" on his way to the ring.] RA: And introducing his opponent, hailing from Ashland, Oregon, weighing in at 230lbs, here is: "Spoootliiight" Biiiilllyy Shaaakespeeeare! [Big pop for Shakespeare as "Little Willie" blasts out over the PA. A trail of dramatic masks are cast by the lights onto the aisle as a single high-intensiy spotlight picks out Billy, who performs his bow to the crowd before making his way to the ring, hi-fiving the fans as he comes.] LM: Shakespeare's probably one of the most consistent performers here in the IIWF. He hasn't always had the highest of profiles, but you can guarantee that when he steps into the ring, you'll see him give 110%. This should be a fantastic match. BL: It's good to see that Billy appeals to all ages, too. Look at that old granny out there. [Billy performs a circuit of the ring and stops to shake the hand of an old granny at ringside who is clutching a "From Small Acorns do BadBoys grow" sign. Billy continues on his circuit, unaware that behind him, the granny has leaped over the barrier into the ringside enclosure. The granny clobbers Billy with her handbag, which sends Billy crashing to the mat.] LM: What on earth is going on here?! BL: I guess that granny's really a Randy Acorn fan. [The granny pulls off her wig and dress to reveal the "Badboy" Randy Acorn! Acorn continues to put the boot into Shakespeare as security personnel vault the barriers to go after him. Eventually, Acorn is dragged away from ringside to a big heel pop. In the ring, Brian Lau and Hakiro Matsuoko are practically killing themselves laughing.] LM: Unbelievable! You'd think that the "Badboy" would be plenty concerned enough about fighting Vinny Cappicola later on here tonight, but no -- he comes out here and attacks Shakespeare. BL: He hasn't forgotten about his first taste of defeat here in the IIWF, handed to him on a plate by Shakespeare earlier in the runt-weight tournament. LM: The referee's tending to Billy... that handbag nearly knocked him clean out! Acorn must have had a brick in it... [The official helps Billy to his feet and asks whether he'll be able to compete in the match. Billy nods yes, and climbs up the ringsteps to the ring. He receives a huge pop as he steps through the ropes, but the cheers quickly turn to jeers as Hakiro Matsuoko rushes him and attacks him. The referee signals for the bell. Matsuoko launches in with a volley of brutal kicks, and Shakespeare slumps to the mat. Hakiro goes to the second rope and drops a leg across Shakespeare's throat. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: That attack from Acorn really seems to have taken the steam out of Shakespeare here. BL: Larry, if Randy Acorn's a "Badboy" now, is he going to become the "Bad_man_" Randy Oaktree in a few years? LM: What?! BL: Nothing. Just trying to imagine what it's like to be as stupid as you. [Hakiro drags Billy to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He attempts a flying spinning leg lariat, but Shakespeare ducks underneath the move. Hakiro tumbles to the mat, and Shakespeare bounces off the ropes again, dropping en elbow on Hakiro. He gets to his feet and uses the ropes to launch himself in the air, crashing down on Hakiro with a splash. He hooks the leg - 1 - 2 - kickout! Both men get to their feet, and engage in a slugfest. Billy blocks a right hand from Hakiro and fires back with one of his own, but Matsuoko performs a vicious martial arts thrust, catching Billy in the throat. Billy goes down onto his knees, and Hakiro bounces off the ropes, kicking Shakespeare in the head from behind. He rolls him over and covers - 1 - 2 -- kickout!] LM: I'm amazed that Shakespeare is able to stay in this match at all! BL: You're the kind of guy who's amazed watching those awful infomercials on TV, Larry. LM: Actually, you're right. Last night I was watching "Amazing Discoveries", and there was this footcream that also doubled up as salad dressing! Inspired! BL: Shut up, Larry. [Hakiro whips Shakespeare into the corner and launches himself with a high-velocity handspring elbow. Hakiro won't let Billy out of the corner, chopping away with reverse knife-edge blows. Hakiro tries to whip Billy across to the opposite corner, but Shakespeare manages to reverse, and sends Hakiro for the ride with tremendous velocity. Hakiro seems to stumble forwards, and he goes between the buckles, hitting his shoulder on the steel ringpost. Big pop! Both men slump to the mat as the referee begins to count them out - 1 - 2 - the crowd starts up a chant of "Bil - ly! Bil - ly! Bil - ly!"] LM: Just listen to these fans! This is Shakespeare's big chance, but I think he's spent. [Both men stir and get to their knees by the count of five, and Hakiro charges in at Shakespeare. Billy ducks under the charge, grabs Hakiro from behind and executes a German suplex on Matsuoko. The ref counts - 1 - 2 -- Hakiro just wriggles free! His shoulder is clearly hurt, however, and Billy starts working on his arm, yanking it and twisting it, trying to damage the shoulder as much as possible. Hakiro yells as Billy applies an armbar in the centre of the ring. The referee asks Hakiro whether he wants to submit, but he shakes his head. Billy keeps the hold locked in, but is distracted by Brian Lau leaping to the apron. Billy releases the hold on Matsuoko and goes over to Lau, who begins shouting at Shakespeare. Behind him, however, Matsuoko gets to his feet, and bounces off the ropes. There is a huge pop as Matsuoko charges Shakespeare, who seems to sense the attack and ducks out of the way, leaving Hakiro to crash into Lau, knocking his manager from the apron! Lau tumbles to the outside and hits the arena floor with force. Hakiro is distracted, and Billy dropkicks him out of the ring to the floor. Big pop! He catapults himself over the top rope with a somersault splash onto Matsuoko! Big pop! He pummels Hakiro on the outside with a flurry of punches.] LM: Wow! Shakespeare's on fire right here! BL: If you ask me, he's a damp squib. LM: He hasn't got any tentacles! BL: Squib, not squid, you idiot! [Shakespeare rolls Hakiro back into the ring, as Lau still lies flat out on the outside. He slingshots Hakiro into the corner, and Matsuoko tumbles backwards into the ring. Billy nimbly climbs to the top rope and signals for the Curtain Call. He waits for Hakiro to get to his feet, and then launches himself with his reverse backflip cross body block. Huge pop as Shakespeare connects! The referee counts - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, by pinfall: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! LM: What a match! Billy takes one step closer to capturing the gold, and Hakiro will have to win his upcoming match with the Man Of Steel to even stay in the running. [Shakespeare makes a quick exit as Casey "Blackheart" James runs down to the ring to tend to Lau. Billy stops at the top of the aisle and bows to the fans, who give him another big pop, before disappearing through the curtain. Casey helps Lau to his feet and assists Hakiro as the trio make their way up the aisle to the jeers of the crowd.] LM: Things aren't going too well for the Syndicate so far tonight, Becky. BL: The night is still young, Larry. Joe Latta has a chance to redeem their fortunes in just a moment. LM: Indeed -- he'll be facing another newcomer to the IIWF, The White Phoenix. Let's go up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The White Phoenix vs. Joe Latta =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: I doubt Brian Lau will be at ringside in this one, after the bump he took in the last match. You know as well as I that the Syndicate has trouble winning wothout Brian Lau jumping in. BL: Oh, please. If it weren't for the terrible officiating in the IIWF, Brian would have no reason to jump onto the apron and complain. LM: Once again, our opinions differ, Becky. BL: Good. [The spotlight falls on Sparkplug Lee, who is busy doing his "cutie pie" impression for Lisa, the IIWF corner girl.] RA: Huh? Oh, we're on? Oh, ah... Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland, accompanied to the ring by Carla Daugherty, member of the Syndicate, Jooooooe Laaaaaattaaaa! [The rumbling bass of Gutshot's "Black Cloud" blasts over the PA, and Joe and Carla move down the isle. Carla has he arm linked in Joe's, and they seem to be paying more attention to each other than the fans jeering them. One fan taps Joe on the shoulder, and Joe swats at him. Carla calms Joe down, and begins to verbally abuse the fan. The fan gets annoyed at the things Carla says, and begins to shout back. Joe steps in and threatens to smack the fan out, so the fan goes quiet.] BL: Looks like Carla is the type of woman who picks fights for her man. LM: You know, I can see you being the same way. By the way, what do you think about Joe's new entrance music? BL: A dark tune for a dark disposition... I like it. RA: Introducing his opponent, hailing from San Fransisco, California, "The White Phoenix" Shiiiiinjaaaaa Choooooowwww! [The lights go out, and a gong is heard. Suddenly, as the call of an eagle pierces the air, a flaming figure stands on the top turnbuckle. The crowd is in awe as they figure out that this is not an optical illusion, and that this guy is actually on fire.] LM: Oh my! I know that this guy is obsessed with fire, but that's the second time tonight! BL: This guy's a nut... It's one thing to step into the ring with a member of the Syndicate, but the guy sets himself on fire? I feel sorry for the poor soul that has to share a hotel room with him on the tour.. LM: Why am I expecting some lewd comment after that statement? BL: I have no idea, Larry. Hey... Wait a minute! Tiger Claw's a trend setter... Look at this guy's hair... LM: Well, I hear the shaven-head-with-a-braid look is in for the new year. [The fire goes out, and Shinja Chow leaps off the top rope and brushes the remaining flame putty from his chest. Joe Latta just looks at Chow in amazement, and the ref calls for the bell. Joe still just stares at Chow, and Chow prepares for Joe's attack. Joe just stands there. Finally, Carla shouts to Joe, and Joe shakes off the amazment and closes in on Chow. The men tie up collar and elbow, and Joe uses his power to push the smaller Chow to the mat. Joe walks up to where Chow goes down and begins laying into him. The ring mics pick up Joe saying "You're messing with the Syndicate, little man!" Chow kips up and looks Joe in the face. The crowd pops.] LM: Joe must be off his game tonight. He should know better than to ridicule a man for his size when two of his stable mates are below 250lbs. BL: I think he's occupied with this whole Dan Kauffman thing. I just hope he starts concentrating on this match. [The two men lock up again, and Joe comes out on top, twisting Chow's arm. Chow moves around, looking for an out, and guides Joe over to the corner. Chow jumps to the second turnbuckle, then jumps up, bounces his legs off the top rope, and flips back into the ring. Joe is overwhelmed, and Chow lands a drop kick. Joe staggers back, and Chow tries another drop kick. Chow bounces from the ropes and executes a sliding leg sweep on Latta. Latta falls to the mat, then bounces back up, chastizing Chow for the maneuver.] LM: What is this? What's Latta's problem? BL: Well, apparently, leg sweeps are looked upon as "women's maneuvers" by some martial artists. LM: And what do you think of that idea? BL: I agree... I could see you using it, Larry. [Latta takes a shot at Chow, and Chow sidesteps and catches Joe's fist. He twists Joes arm and kicks his feet out from under him. Joe's momentum flips him onto his back while Chow keeps a hold of the arm. Chow drops a leg onto Joe's arm, and then puts him into an armbar type hold with his legs. Joe rolls back and forth, looking for a way out of the hold, but Chow keeps the armbar locked. Joe rolls toward Chow and stands up. He then flips Chow over, taking the pressure off of his arm. Joe moves Chow's legs a bit, and locks in a Texas Cloverleaf. Carla cheers Joe on the outside.] BL: There we go... You'd never see Joe do that before he joined up with the Syndicate. LM: I'll have to agree with you, Becky. His technical repertoire was gotten much broader since allying himself with Brian Lau. [Joe lets go of the cloverleaf and allows Chow to get to his feet. Chow does, and Joe slaps him in the face. Chow retaliates with a chop, and Joe slaps again. Chow again chops Joe, and takes him to the corner. Chow throws Joe into the opposite corner and runs across for a splash attempt. Chow hits, but Joe gets his arm up, sticking an elbow into Chow's midsection. Chow goes down as Joe slumps in the corner. Joe regains himself and picks up the smaller man. He throws Chow into the ropes and executes a quick powerslam on him. Joe jumps up and showboats to the crowd. Heel pop. He yells, "That's it, baby!" and sets Chow up for the Shotgun Suplex. A mixed pop gets louder as Dan Kauffman appears at the head of the isle, being held back by some officials. Joe lets go of Chow and lets him drop. He then goes to the corner facing Kauffman and begins shouting. Dan struggles with security to get to the ring.] BL: I really wish Dan Kauffman would allow the spotlight to fall on someone other than him. The guy is green with envy. Look at him. LM: Come on, Becky. You know as well as I what Joe and the Syndicate did to him. Who could blame him for being angry? BL: Yeah, right... It has nothing to do with what they did. It has to do with the fact that Joe has gotten better in the ring than Dan Kauffman. Dan can't handle the shame. [Dan shouts at Joe that he'll "get him," and Joe invites Kauffman to "come on and show me, punk." By this time, Chow has staggered to his feet, and he leans in the opposite corner from Joe. Joe waves Dan off and begins to turn back towards Chow. Shinja runs toward Joe, flips in the air, and connects with a spoinning back kick. Joe hits the mat hard and Chow goes for the cover. 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: What an upset! Chow wins! BL: Yeah, too bad it was a tag team effort. LM: You're not suggesting that Dan Kauffman and Shinja Chow are in cahoots with each other, are you? BL: What the hell is a cahoot? [Chow jumps up to the second turnbuckle and poses for the crowd, which is popping large. Joe gets up, visibly angry, and sees Dan Kauffman with a satisfied look on his face, walking back to the locker room area. Joe begins to scream and he tears up the aisle after his former teacher. Carla runs after him, trying to calm him down, but Joe is faster and runs through the curtain. Meanwhile, The White Phoenix plays the crowd, who are definately behind him.] LM: We can figure out what the crowd thinks of this newcomer, Becky. BL: Well, there's no accounting for some tastes... I'm getting tired of all these runts in the IIWF. Give me a big muscle-bound freak any day... LM: It's strange that you should mention that, Becky, because up next we have a man who is certainly muscle-bound, although if you tell him he's a freak, I'm sure he'd have you fitted for concrete boots in no time. I am, of course, talking about Vinny Cappicola. However, before we go to our next match, let's talk about the current situation concerning the IIWF Intercontinental Championship. We've heard from Don Antonio, and we've heard from President Dan, but so far we've not heard from Brian Lau, particularly with reference to the IC belt that the Don made reference to at his press conference. Well, let's go to these pretaped comments from the Syndicate: [SCENE: Brian Lau and Kenny Tanaka stand at the door of the Dojo, which has been obviously tampered with. The lock is broken, and the door hangs open.] KT: Brian, what's going on? BL: Well, this morning, I came to open up the Dojo, and found that someone had broken in and robbed us. It seems nothing was touched except for the IIWF Intercontinental belt. I have found out through my sources that the belt is presently in the posession of Don Antonio's attourney. This is a theft of one of the highest acclaimed trophies in the IIWF, and this crime must be punished. KT: So, you have a statement? BL: Indeed I do. First, Don Antonio has _absolutely NO_ authority to strip Tiger Claw of the title. Trust me, Don, I know the proper channels to go through to strip a man of a belt. First, the Championship Committee must be contacted, and evidence must be presented to support the claim that the athlete is not deserving of the title. If you feel that Tiger Claw is not deserving, you call up the committee. You do _not_ hire someone to steal the belt. You may make an appeal to the committee regarding the title rematch, but that does not mean you can take a belt that you no longer hold. I hereby ask you to return the IC belt to its rightful owner, named one Tiger Claw. If you do not comply, I will be forced to call the authorities. I will get the local police involved, as well as the Federal police. I am sure that if I rooted around enough into your past, I can find some evidence of a felony of a federal magnitude. I will also get in contact with the IIWF officials and have you suspended indefinitely. You have stolen the IIWF IC title. I will have no problem getting this done. KT: What about their claim that the rematch should not have taken place? BL: Don Antonio, if you will, please look over the contract that was drawn up for the Title match. It clearly states that, in the case you win the title, you are obligated to give the ex-champion a rematch _when the officials deem appropriate._ This means that we could have waited 4 weeks for the rematch, or if the officials deem it appropriate, you may have to give the rematch 5 minutes after winning the belt. This nullifies any consent from the manager or athelete. You _must_ give the ex-champion a return match whether you like it or not. It's the rules. The rematch was not a "street fight." It was sanctioned by the IIWF. An official presided over the match, and the Championship Committee watched. You may baulk over the outcome of the re-match, but remember the most important rule in the IIWF: the officials ALWAYS have the final decision. If that official raised Tiger Claw's arm in victory, then Tiger Claw won. If the official gave Tiger Claw the belt, then Tiger Claw is the champion. Case closed. KT: It also seems that Don Antonio is claiming that you are paying off IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury. BL: If that's the case, then why is it that any time I want something done in the IIWF, I have to get around him? Why is it that he stands in my way at every turn? I honestly wish I could have that man in my back pocket, because it would make my job easier. I can tell you that Daniel Spreadbury is so annoyingly loyal to his job, that no amount of money can turn his head. I makes me want to vomit, but it's true. KT: So what will be the state of the Intercontinental title? BL: It will return to Tiger Claw's posession, or I will have Don Antonio arrested. I will give the Don the chance to give the belt back on this Wednesday's card. If he chooses not to take this opportunity, then I will have to set the wheels of justice in motion. You know, Kenny, I honestly wish caning was allowed in the States, because if it were, I'd have my name beaten into Don Antonio's back. I don't know who it was exactly that stole the belt, but I am sure that Don Antonio is an accomplice. I will find out who took it, you can be assured of that. It's really too bad that DOn Antonio is such a sore loser, but I guess that's the way his people are... KT: Well, folks, there we have it. This Wednesday, Don Antonio will have the opportunity to return the belt to Tiger Claw. This really hurts the Don's chances of getting his rematch, since he faces suspension and legal repercussions. Well, folks, we'll keep you up to date. So long, everybody! [Cut back to the announcers' table.] BL: Well, what a surprise. A couple of mobsters taking the law into their own hands and stealing a belt, and then accusing the IIWF President of corruption. Someone call the TV station, we've got a soap opera! LM: I'll admit that things are certainly very confused right now. However, if Lau's waiting for the Don to return that belt, it's not going to happen tonight. Antonio is still in hospital, and the rest of the Family have declined to comment about the current status of their legal proceedings. BL: Sooner or later, they'll realise they haven't got a case, especially now that it's emerged that they even stole the belt after the event! LM: I'm sure there's more to this than meets the eye, Becky. Anyhow, for now let's get back to the action. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. Vinny Cappicola -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: It didn't take long for this match to get hot. Vinny and the Family judged "Badboy" Acorn, and found him guilty. BL: Refresh my memory please. Did anyone _ask_ the Family to pronounce judgement? LM: Um, no. BL: And do they have any specific license that gives them any kind of juristiction? LM: No. BL: So they're no better than those they're judging. LM: Well, that's not how I'd put it. BL: You couldn't figure out how to put it if I spotted you a diagram and a set of instructions. LM: Let's go to the ring. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming to the ring, from Newark, New Jersey, weighing 227 pounds, the "Baaaaadboy" Raaaaandy Acooorn! [Acorn enters and immediately gets into a shouting match with a fan. It ends when Acorn spits in the fan's beer.] RA: And introducing his opponent, hailing from Sicily, Italy, weighing in at 295lbs, here is: Viiinnnyy Caaaappppiccollaaa! [Vinny lurches in. There is a moderate pop and much waving of "Family" related merchandise.] LM: I rather like that picture of Vinny, Salvatore and Don Antonio with the slogan "A Family Affair". BL: I hear you have a framed copy hanging above your bed next to the photo of John Tesh. LM: I have no such thing. BL: Which one? LM: Neither... Both. Oh, never mind. [The bell starts the bout. Each man circles, sizing up his opponent. Vinny offers a test of strength. Acorn looks like he'll comply, but instead delivers a very low blow with his boot. The ref warns and Acorn attempts to persuade him that his foot has a mind of its own. Vinny shakes it off and rushes Acorn so swiftly that he is too suprised to evade. The two crash hard into the turnbuckle. Vinny follows up with shoulder blows. He sends "Badboy" for the ride, but Acorn is able to jump out of the way when Vinny follows up with a high knee. Randy slams the Italian's knee against the ring post a few more times. He stomps on the chest of the prone Vinny. He steps up a rope and tries again. Vinny rolls out of the ring. Acorn grabs the microphone away from Sparkplug Lee where he is showing Lisa his new Faux-Rolex. A short speech of "...so far up your..." is heard from Acorn through the device before is is abruptly shut off by a loud clank as the microphone connects with Vinny's head.] BL: Speech! Speech! LM: That could have hurt! BL: Like this? LM: [yelps] [Vinny draws himself up to his full height, eyes blazing and ire raised by the blow. Randy Acorn sees this new determination and flies to the other side of the ring. Vinny follows. Acorn delays to throw an IIWF hotdog at him, but in doing so allows himself to be dragged back into the ring.] BL: I'm really suprised they haven't found someone to sponsor those hotdogs yet. Not that any wrestler in the IIWF would want to be connected to those sacks of animal entrails. LM: Tiger Claw is looking for an endorsement. The dogs are "low-fat," that sounds oriental. BL: Larry, your xenophobia is showing. LM: What? Wait? Where? I knew I couldn't trust the zipper on these pants. [Vinny drops the piledriver on Acorn and goes for the cover. 1 - 2 - Acorn manages to lift his shoulder. Vinny hooks a leg but Acorn pokes him in the eye. "Badboy" takes the advantage by crossing Vinny's legs then stomping down on the knee. He steps up a rope, and as Vinny rises, launches off with a drop kick. It only grazes Cappicola, so Vinny delivers a clothesline that spins Acorn in the air. He covers 1 - 2 - Acorn grabs a rope.] BL: You shouldn't make light of Claw's lack of endorsements. I've made some tidy pocket change on my items. Not including the forthcoming "Girls of the IIWF" calander. LM: I don't get any merchandising opportunities. BL: I hear the "Larry Morton Vanilla Wafers" are popular in pre-schools everywhere. [Both men face each other exhausted. Vinny gets in an arm toss, but Acorn hangs on and changes it into an arm bar. The ref asks for the submission. There is a flash, and an orange garbed figure flies down the aisle, climbs the ring post, and launches itself at the two wrestlers. Prisoner #109 nearly decapitates Acorn with a forearm and lands on the armbar cinch which just about dislocates Vinny's shoulder. Prisoner #109 chokeslams Acorn into the ropes and he rebounds sharply over the top. Cappricola drops to his knees and #109 puts the boot to his head and shoulder. The disqualification bell rings loudly. A little spooked, P109 escapes up the aisle.] LM: What was that? What did he want? BL: I'm inclined to believe it was the ice cream man telling them he didn't have anymore fudgesicles. RA: [Shouting, because the mic is shattered] By decision o... th... This... been... interference. BL: For those of you who can't read lips, it was ruled a double DQ. LM: While Sparkplug gets himself a new microphone, let's switch gears and hear from the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces, in the aftermath of their narrow squeak with Stunt Team USA last Saturday: [Cut to footage of a party in a mansion in Coral Gables, FL. WOWT correspondent Jane Phillips is in front of the camera, as the WOWT graphic flashes across the bottom of the screen. She begins speaking:] JP: Hello, Omaha. I'm Jane Phillips and I'm here at the celebration party for the Armed Forces, who just came out of their second successful defense of the IIWF World Tag Team Championships. They earlier staved off Stunt Team USA, and are now celebrating with tons of friends here at Aaron the Caddy's mansion. I look around and I see tons of family and friends, not only of NavCom and DefCon, but of Aaron the Caddy as well. Ah, here comes Aaron now... [Big cheer as Aaron the Caddy enters the room] Aaron, can I get a word? Aaron: Hey, baby. What's goin' on? Did you see us annihilate STUSA earlier? JP: Certainly did. Well, Aaron, what's next for the Armed Forces? Aaron: We beat the former champs twice. We beat the next contender. I don't know what will actually challenge us. We're unbeatable, and we know it. GUYS!!! WE'RE LIVE OVER HERE! [NavCom and DefCon rush to the scene.] NavCom: The top contenders fell at our feet, the #2 guys did too. We're getting a little burned out from taking on all this heated competition. We need a jobber match. DefCon: Hey, speaking of jobber match...didn't Claw and Corner want a match? JP: Yes, Ace Maverick and Marshall Law have been calling you out as of late. NavCom: Heh. They wanted a non-title shot. No. Here's what we wanna do. We hate them punks. And we want to pin them, 1-2-3 in the center of the ring. We lost to them by DQ, they lost to us by DQ. We want a pinfall. So let's do this. No DQ, no countout, this Saturday...US AND THE LOSERS!!! DefCon: What about the titles? NavCom: Who cares? Championship Committee, if they're good enough, make this a title match! If not, we'll beat on them for fun! Just do your best, because it doesn't matter...we'll walk in and out with the gold one way or another!!! JP: There you have it folks. The Armed Forces calling for a no DQ, no countout match with Law and Disorder...and you heard them, they're willing to give them a title shot, it's up to the committee. For WOWT, I'm... Aaron: Hold it, Jane. I've got somethin' to say. There's been a tag team in the IIWF recently who's been...busy. They've called us names, they've beaten some jobbers. They want a shot at the gold. You know who we're talkin' about. NavCom: Heavy Metal. Complete losers. Aaron: Right. Well, let's do this, Apollo boys. If the IIWF Championship Committee deems you worthy, then so be it. We'll take you guys on anywhere, and we'll put these babies up for grabs. [The Forces hold the belts up.] You've been beating up on guys like Steamroller lately. Sheesh. If you beat somebody worthy, maybe you'll climb up. But until then, keep the comments to a minimum. Prove yourself in the ring, not in the interviewing room. DefCon: You guys think you're real strong, Metal. Ha! I'd like to see you idiots put that Olympic Slam on me. You wanna brawl, you wanna fight?! Come on, baby! We're right here, and we will be for a long time. So if you two wanna fight, you know where to find us...RIGHT NEXT TO THE TAG TEAM TITLE BELTS!!! Come and get it. JP: That's all, I'm here at the two-week celebration of the IIWF World Tag Team Title Reign, now back to you. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] BL: What an amateur. And she's a bleached blonde. These local TV stations are just too much. LM: And the Armed Forces are certainly too much -- they were extremely lucky to walk out of the Coliseum with the belt last Saturday Night. Anyway, on with our next match! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINAL: Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Man Of Steel =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: I'm really excited. BL: I have that affect on most men. LM: I meant about this Cruiserweight Championship Tournament final round bout. So far, the tournament has been better than we could ever have imagined. BL: The runt-weights? I can only assume that you have a very limited imagination. I don't get very excited about little things. But I can understand why you might sympathize. [Sparkplug taps his replacement microphone as he steps into the ring again.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the second of tonight's IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Finals. Introducing our first challenger: from the great state of Kansas, accompanied to the ring by Bibbo Bibbowski, weighing 227 pounds, he is: Man... Of... Steel! [Queen's "Made in Heaven" begins. MOS walks out, hands raised, to a huge pop. A woman holds high a baby dressed on MOS underwear and Steel reaches into the crowd to high-five the bewildered infant. A single sky rocket shoot accross the coliseum dropping red and blue sparks on the crowd. He climbs the ring post to cheers.] RA: And introducing his opponent: representing the Syndicate, from Tokyo Japan, weighing in at 215 pounds, "Angel of the Sun" Hakiiiro Matsuooooko! [The Kodo drums begin. Thee is a blast of flame from the entry arch as Hakiro enters dressed in the kabuki finery of a terrifying demon. More flames explode in ther ring as a spotlight picks up his entrance. The kodo drums rise to a deafening volume. Small children begin to cry. He hands his costume to Brian Lau before entering the ring.] LM: The crowd seems to like Man of Steel, but they don't like Hakiro Matsuoko. BL: What kind of journalism was that? I dare you... no, I bet you 50 bucks you can't go five minutes without saying anything. LM: It's a deal. BL: Hey Larry, your shoe is untied. LM: Thank you. BL: See, you failed already! LM: Oh, let me try this again. BL: Okay. [Man of Steel offers his hand. Hakiro looks at it expressionlessly. Steel shrugs his shoulders and is immediatly on the receiving end of a scissor kick upside the head. Matsuoko quickly sweeps the leg and immediatly follows up with a back sommersault which lands both knees in MOS's chest. The crowd gasps in awe at the speed and intensity of the move. Hakiro springs away, waits for Steel to rise, and plants a kick to the throat when he does.] BL: Well, Man of Steel could not look more pitiful than he does now. And I'm not even taking the underwear into consideration. What do you think, Larry? LM: [remains quiet] BL: That's how I like you best, Larry. Oh, and for those of you who haven't noticed yet, Larry is wearing a clip-on tie. LM: [shakes head "no"] [Steel is thrown to the ropes. Hakiro tries a leaping forearm drop, but MOS ducks and Matsuoko lands on the ropes. MOS circles and executes a reverse double underhook suplex. He throws Hakiro to the ropes and delivers his feared roundhouse right when he snaps back. Hakiro hops to his feet and they exchange moves. MOS with a reverse hip toss. Hakiro the Yakuza Kick. Steel a belly to back.] BL: I should also mention that Larry still lives with his mother. LM: [Bangs the table loudly. He holds up 10 fingers] BL: Only ten seconds left? Can you hold out? [There is a murmuring from the crowd as Joe Latta and Casey James wander to ringside to stand with Brian Lau.] BL: Only 8 more seconds? [There is a slight commotion under the table.] LM: Aaaagh! Pain! BL: You lose. LM: You cheated. BL: Oh hon. I don't cheat, I just play by different rules. [Man of Steel is distracted by the arrival of the Syndicate members, and he pays for it when Hakiro lands a flying kick to the back of his head. "Angel of the Sun" drops an elbow on MOS's neck. He begins to lock up the legs but suddenly MOS wraps up a small package. Bran Lau leaps to the ropes while Casey James reaches through the ropes and tilts the package over. The ref sees only the former and warns Lau away. MOS breaks free of his own hold. He shouts at Casey James who only laughs. Hakiro hiptosses Steel who retaliates with a German suplex.] LM: I bet you can't stay quiet for a minute. BL: I'll try. [short pause] Larry, you're an idiot. Whoops! There, I went and broke my silence. [Casey James goes to the ropes, shouting insults at his former partner. MOS goes to face him. The ref comes between them. It can't be heard, but Man of Steel makes a remark that ignites Casey James who leaps over the rope and attacks MOS. The ref signals for the bell.] LM: Casey James has cost Hakiro his shot at the Cruiserweight title! Hakiro lost to Billy Shakespeare earlier on, and he needed to win this match to stay in the running! BL: That's okay. What does Lau want with the runt-belt? The Syndicate only deals with the important straps. [At the bell, the rest of the Syndicate jumps in the ring. James, Latta and Matsuoko shower MOS with falling forearms and kicks. Latta and Hakiro each hold an arm. James sizes up MOS and delivers his devastating heart punch. MOS collapses. Bibbo Bibowski storms the ring, and is quickly joined by Vinny Cappicola. At the sight of the infuriated Italian, the Syndicate men retreat up the aisle. Man of Steel lies in the middle of the ring for a long moment. Finally he rises to his feet, and denying aid from his comrades in standing, walks shakily up the aisle under his own power.] LM: So now it all comes down to that big final match between the Man Of Steel and "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare later on tonight! Both men have one victory apiece, and the winner of that match will become the first ever IIWF Cruiserweight Champion! I can hardly wait! BL: Whoopeedoo. LM: Try to contain yourself, Becky. Before we go up to the ring for our next match, let's get comments from Dan Kauffman. I went backstage to speak with Dan before we came on air as he prepared to battle Casey James: [Cut to Larry backstage with Dan Kauffman, who has a very serious look on his face.] LM: Dan, I know you've had some difficulty in the recent past with the S Syndicate, especially Joe Latta. How are you going into the match tonight against Casey James? DK: Well you know, Joe Latta and I will have our time in the ring, and if he shows up later on, maybe that time will wind up being tonight! But for now, I've got to deal with one Casey "Blackheart" James. Plain and simple, I'm walking to that ring to accomplish two things... first, that I'm not about to let up on the Syndicate, and second, that, regardless of what all the experts say, I'm still the Dan Kauffman of old, and I'm going to give James the match of his life! Maybe I'll do it fairly, maybe I'll do it with some cheap shots... whatever it takes. LM: Well, there's a lot of rumors going around that Joe Latta isn't even your main concern at this point... DK: Larry, Joe is on my mind right now, but maybe I have other things to take care of. And if I do, you'll find out soon enough. Tonight it's Casey James... and James, simply put, you're going down! [Kauffman leaves the shot. Cut back to ringside.] LM: That's one determined Dan Kauffman! BL: His attitude in the ring might have changed, but once a windbag, always a windbag. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dan Kauffman vs. Casey "Blackheart" James =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: Becky, have you ever had the feeling that you were doing something you've done already in the past? BL: Deja vu? LM: No thank you, not while I'm working. [The spotlight falls upon Sparkplug in the process of cleaning out his ear with his finger. Lisa coughs politely.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland and weighing in at 230 pounds, here is: Daaaaaaan Kaaaaauffmaaaaaan! [Celine Dion's "Call the Man" begins. Slowly Kauffman struts to the ring. A fan reaches exuberantly to touch him, but instead falls over the crowd barrier landing on his face.] RA: And introducing his opponent. Coming down the aisle with Brian Lau, hailing from Washington D.C. and weighing in at 325lbs, here is: Caaaasey "Blackheart" James! [James strides confidently to the ring accompanied by the sounds of Pro-Pain. He passes by and ignores a large banner reading "Where's Joan Jett?"] LM: I can see where Kauffman may want to get a little revenge on the Syndicate here. BL: Larry, have I ever told you how much I respect the job you do here? LM: [pleased] Why, no. BL: Okay, just checking. [The two lock up. James goes for a power move but Kauffman sweeps him off his verticle. He tries to lock up a leg, but Casey is able to roll out. Kauffman executes a back elbow blow, tries a snap mare. James counters, lifts and drops a spinebuster. He throws Dan to the ropes. On the rebound Casey lifts for a slam. Kauffman tilt-a-whirl arm tosses. James responds with a clothesline. Kauffman does the same.] BL: There's more clotheslines here than in North Carolina backyards on wash day. LM: Now I _know_ I've heard that before. [Another clothesline from James which Kauffman ducks. Casey spins with the momentum as Kauffman seizes his head, which he slams against his shoulder. James staggers away. Kauffman begins a battery of European uppercuts. He plants for a hip toss, but Casey manages a belly to back suplex. The two are too close to the ropes, and they tumble out of the ring. It doesn't take long for them to square off again. While the ref continues his count, James gets Kauffman into a reverse pile driver.] LM: This could hurt if he lands that blow outside on the thin padding! [Kauffamn scissors James's head on the way down, flipping Blackheart hard into the ring steps. There is a loud clank and the crowd murmurs. Kauffman breaks the count, but is quickly back outside. he rushes James who rolls out of the way, picking up a folding chair and smacking Kauffman with it. The crowd boos. Someone spills their drink on James. He swings the chair a second time, but he misses the rolling Kauffman, striking the stairway instead. The vibration causes him to drop the chair. Kauffman slams Casey's head into the ring post, then drags the big man into the ring for a cover. James powers him off. Each man throws himself to the ropes, and as they try their maneuvers, their heads collide. They both fall to the canvas.] LM: Both men are highly skilled and intelligent men. A blow like that could be serious. BL: Larry, have I ever told you how much I respect the job you do here? LM: Now I _know_ you've said that before. [Kauffman is the first to stir. He staggers over to James and tries to execute a clover leaf. There is a shout from the crowd as Joe Latta flies to the ring. He grasps the discarded chair and slams Kauffman hard across the back. The referee immediately signals the disqualification.] BL: Don't tell me, don't tell me. You _know_ you've seen Joe Latta before. [Kauffman staggers away, pitching himself over the top rope to the outside. Latta follows closely, swinging the chair wildly. The crowd screams chaotically: "Kill him Joe", "Duck Dan! Duck!" and "Chair shot.. this is hardcore." Kauffman dodges until Latta leaves himself open to a shoulder to the midsection. In an instant the two are brawling in a pile. Casey James gets the chair but cannot get in a clear shot. Security intervenes. They grab the chair and seperate the combatants. Latta tries a number of cheap kicks at Kauffman who struggles in the arms of security. Soon all the wrestlers are dragged backstage.] BL: Fancy that... Latta and Kauffman locking up. LM: They don't like each other, you know. BL: Larry, have I ever told you how much I respect the job you do here? LM: I'm not falling for that. BL: Larry, there's something on your tie. [She points.] LM: Huh? Where? [Becky flicks him in the nose when he looks down.] Why, I oughtta... [composes himself] Right now, let's go backstage to hear from Chris Quigley as he prepares himself for his match with the Butcher. [Camera cuts to Chris Quigley, taping his wrists in the locker room, before his match against Otto Verhoeven.] CQ: Butcher! Tonight's the night! Tonight is when you pay BIG TIME for costing me the IIWF Crusierweight title! I'm sick and tired of you, badmouthing the United States, and of course, badmouthing Canada! Hell, the only reason you're here is because most Germans couldn't stand your Hitler-worshipping, Nazi attitude! It's time to wake up to the real world, Verhoeven! You are facing the best wrestler in the IIWF today, and I'm gonna show YOU why! I'm gonna tie you into a knot, and kick your ass back to Germany. Or maybe I'll kick it right into the Iraqi line of fire, that way one of those damn missles will be well spent by taking YOU out. I'm gonna STRIKE YOU DOWN! And as far as those finishing moves of yours go... how LETHAL they are supposed to be. Remember this, I got back up and fought a match after getting your chokeslam on the CONCRETE FLOOR! I've kicked out of more moves than you can possibly count, and if I have to, I'll kick out of whatever it is you throw at me! And you say you are dedicating the match to Bret Hart? You can go right ahead, I have my own career to worry about, without sticking my nose in his. Maybe you should keep your mind on wrestling, and less about what you're gonna try to do to humiliate me, because you should get this through your head...it AIN'T gonna happen! I'm gonna put you down once and for GOOD! [Cut back to ringside as Quigley continues taping his wrists.] LM: I don't think Chris Quigley likes Otto Verhoeven very much, Becky. BL: You really will never learn, will you?! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: I really don't know who to go for in this matchup. Verhoeven has been on a real tear as of late. He's made his philosophy known by joining the Outlaw J.W. Hardin in the attack on The Subway Psycho. He's also taken the Family on. BL: Well, to be honest, nobody's really afraid to take the Family on. People just don't look forward to the tantrum Don Antonio throws when he loses. LM: Will you stop? Let's concentrate on the match at hand. Quigley might be the one to knock Verhoeven down a peg or two. BL: Sure, if this were a jaw-flapping competition. Verhoeven is just too powerful for the hot-aired Quigley. I think Verhoeven will end this one quickly. [The spotlight fals on Sparkplug Lee, who is standing there singing a song to himself.] RA: *ahem*... Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Corner Brook, Newfoundland, Canada, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [Quigley's AC/DC theme music blares over the speakers as he makes his way down the isle. the lights dim, and red X's light his path to the ring. The crowd pops as Quigley slaps some hands of fans on the way down. He picks out a youngster in the stands, and gives him his wraparound glasses.] LM: You know, the fans have really warmed up to Mr. Quigley as of late. BL: Yes, they've warmed up because Quigley has bathed them in hot air. Do you know that people from Newfoundland have a whole line of jokes based on them? LM: Oh, stop it! That's just racist, you know? BL: No it's not... It's true... Hey, Larry -- how many Newfies does it take to... LM: That's enough! RA: Introducing his opponent, hailing from Essen, Germany and being accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, Otto "The Butcher" Verrrrrrhoevennnnn! [The heel pop is deafening as Otto Verhoeven steps out from the backstage area. Otto taunts the fans as he makes his way down to ringside, and Heidi laughs as she walks behind him. LM: You know what they say... Behind every man... BL: ... is a woman that will kick her man's teeth in if he gets out of line. You can bet that Verhoeven is doing just what his Heidi wants. [Verhoeven steps into the ring, and the referee checks him for weapons. Verhoeven complains about the treatment, but the ref is having none of it. The ref finishes his investigation, and calls for the bell, getting the match underway. Quigley circles Verhoeven carefully, while Verhoeven just walks up to Quigley and slaps him in the face. Heel pop as Quigley recoils from the sucker shot and begins to stare down Verhoeven as Verhoeven rains insults on him. Quigley remains calm as the monster Verhoeven gets redfaced as he calls Quigley every name in the book.] BL: I guess I was wrong when I said that Quigley would win a war of words. Look at Verhoeven go... This should go into the record books under "cussing"! [Verhoeven says something that gets Quigley going, and Quigley kicks him in the gut. He follows up with a quick frankensteiner, and gives Verhoeven a few shots to the head. Quigley then bounces off the ropes and lands a nice, stiff elbow drop.] LM: I wonder what Verhoeven said that set Quigley off like that... BL: I bet you ten dollars it was a Newfie joke. [Quigley stands Verhoeven up and executes a fine Enzuigiri kick, which drops Verhoeven to the mat again. Quigley shouts to the crowd, and the pop gets louder. Quigley locks a side headlock on the big man and squeezes. Verhoeven works to get to his feet, and picks Quigley up. The crowd pops as Quigley is held in the air, still holding the head of Verhoeven. Verhoeven drops Quigley to the mat in a belly to back suplex, then locks on a blatant chokehold. The ref counts to 5, and Verhoeven breaks to complain to the ref, but puts his shin over the Canadian's throat. The crowd gives a heel pop as Verhoeven chokes Quigley, and finally the ref starts another count. Verhoeven gets up and drags Quigley to the ropes, draping him over the second rope. Verhoeven showboats to the crowd, then climbs onto the rope. He jumps off, landing with his full weight on the back of Quigley. Verhoeven repeats the maneuver, and showboats to the crowd again. He attempts the maneuver again, but Quigley moves away at the last moment, causing Verhoeven to hit the ropes with his legs and bounce his head off the mat.] LM: That's the problem with a move like that. You need to do it several times to be effective, but each time you do it, you're setting yourself up to get hit hard. BL: Have you been taking commentary lessons, Larry? Anyway, It's going to take more than a bit of luck to put Verhoeven down. [Verhoeven holds his head on the mat, and Quigley quickly goes to the second turnbuckle. He jumps off, and lands a fist into Verhoeven's forehead. Pop. Quigley then picks up Verhoeven an executes a quick backbreaker, but seems to have hurt his own knee by slamming the heavy German onto it. Quigley goes down, clutching his right knee, and Verhoeven attempts to get up. Verhoeven sees Quigley nursing the leg, and begins to stomp on it. Heel pop as Verhoeven works Quigley over. Verhoeven puts his foot on the back of Quigley's leg, lifts it, and drives the knee down into the mat, causing Quigley to shout in pain. Verhoeven locks on a Half-crab on Quigley's bad leg.] LM: We're used to seeing Verhoeven wear a guy down with high impact moves, but it seems like he knows how to wear a body part down with some submission holds as well! BL: It's all about pain, Larry. There's the quick shot which gives quick pain, and then there's the long, drawn-out hold that keeps the pain constant over time. Is it any wonder that Verhoeven would like the latter? [Verhoeven really lays on the punishment as the crowd rallies behind Quigley. Quigley gets up on his arms and begins to walk his torso back, relieving some of the pressure on his knee. He then uses his free leg to kick Verhoeven in the head. Big pop as the big man staggers back, clutching his face. Quigley uses the ropes to get to his feet and begins to shake off the effects of the onslaught to his knee. He limps over to Verhoeven and executes an Irish Whip. Verhoeven comes off the ropes, and Quigley launches a clotheline which downs both men. Quigley begins to work on the leg, but Verhoeven kicks him to the opposite side of the ring. Quigley's knee gives out, and he falls to the mat. Verhoeven gets up again, and spits more insults at the prone Canadian. He grabs Quigley's leg, and locks on a spinning toe-hold. Quigley screams out in pain, and Verhoeven laughs to Heidi.] LM: He's enjoying this! Knees are touchy things, Becky. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some big-time damage to that right knee. BL: How would you know about how tender knees are? Unless... Eew... I don't even want to think about that... LM: Wha!? Hey! [Verhoeven lets go of the toe-hold and tried to drop a knee on Quigley's leg. Quigley moves, and Verhoeven drives his own knee into the mat. Verhoeven rolls to his back, holding his knee, and Quigley swiftly locks on the Quickstriker scorpion death lock. The crowd pops large.] LM: This is it! The Quickstriker! BL: The only problem is that Verhoeven won't quit. He's too proud to quit. He'd sooner let Quigley break his legs. [Quigley puts all of his weight into the hold, and Verhoeven shouts out in pain. He tries to reach the ropes, but Quigley has the hold locked on with authority. Heidi runs around the outside of the ring to come face to face with Verhoeven, and he signals to her. She runs into the ring and bulldogs Quigley out of the hold. The ref quickly calls for the bell. Heidi continuously rams Quigley's head into the mat, and Verhoeven slowly gets to his feet. He tests the strength of his legs, then shakes off the effects of the Quickstriker. Heidi picks Quigley up, and Verhoeven grabs him by the throat. Big heel pop as Verhoeven executes the Slaughterslam. Heidi jumps up and down, cheering her man on, and Verhoeven picks Quigley up again by the throat. He looks to the crowd, you jeer him, and he shakes his head. Verhoeven grabs Quigley's right leg, and executes an atomic drop on the injured knee. Quigley goes down to the mat and flails around in pain. Verhoeven promises the crowd that he's going to break Quigley's leg, and the ref calls for the bell again. Verhoeven and Heidi ignore the bell, and Verhoeven begins to set Quigley up for another knee-breaker. A swarm of officials run down the ring and try to separate Verhoeven from Quigley. Verhoeven pushes many of them out of the way, so the "Jobber Justice Squad" comes down to ringside. Varied jobbers run into the ring and try to keep the two men separate. They accomplish their task and force Verhoeven and Heidi from the ring.] LM: That was disgusting, Becky. There's no call for attempting to end a man's career. BL: Unless it's that man in the ring right now... [The jobbers help Quigley to his feet, and he leans in the corner, checking his knee. The officials looks at the knee, and can't decide whether it looks okay or not. Quigley makes the decision by signalling to the fans that he's okay. He goes through the ropes, and kind of hops on his good leg. Ned Norton offers himself as a crutch, but Quigley pushes him away. Quigley limps back up the aisle alone, ignoring the cheers of the fans.] BL: What an ego case... LM: He's determined to do it himself, Becky. I guess to him, accepting the offer of help would show a weakness... BL: Give me a break... The guy's just conceited to admit that he's hurt... He's a human being, Larry. Human beings get hurt. It seems that Quigley thinks he's something more. LM: We'll be getting word on the condition of Quigley's knee later on... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT FINAL: Man Of Steel vs. Billy Shakespeare =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: Well, here comes another match for the Cruiserweight tournament finals. Who do you think stands the best chance, Becky? BL: None of them. Put any one of these runts in the ring with Brad Kinder, and they're toast. LM: Come on, Becky, they can't all be monsters. BL: And why not? I say if they're not big, they have no place in wrestling. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is the third of tonight's IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Tournament Finals, and it is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, led to the ring by Bibbo Bibbowski, weighing in at 227lbs, here is the Maaaan Oooof Steeeel! ["Made in Heaven" plays over the PA, and Man of Steel comes into the aisle. A bank of spotlights move back and forth across the path of MOS as he hi-fives some fans on the way. Bibbo brings up the rear, throwing merchandise out into the crowd.] LM: The fans really like this guy, Becky. I wouldn't doubt that we'll see him wearing the title tonight. BL: Yeah, yeah... Title tonight, wonk wonk... [MOS steps into the ring and stretches in his corner.] RA: And his opponent, hailing from Ashland, Oregon, weighing in at 230lbs, here is: "Spoootliiiight" Biiillllyyy Shaaakespeearrre! ["Little Willie" begins to play, and Billy Shakespeare makes his way to the ring. Billy is also focused on the match at hand, and makes his way to the ring swiftly.] LM: This is going to be a no-nonsense classic scientific match up. I can't wait. BL: Great. We don't even get to see someone get pounded into the canvas. Maybe I could go get a snack or something... LM: You'll stay right there, Becky... Hang on, I'm getting word from the locker rooms... According to the medical team, Chris Quigley's suffered some bruising to his cruciate ligaments, and he'll have to rest up for a few days, but he should be back in action next week. There's some good news, anyway. BL: Yeah? What's the good news, then? Surely that was the bad news... [The bell rings, and the match is underway. The two men circle each other. MOS stops and holds his hand out for Billy to shake. The crowd pops as the two shake hands in the middle of the ring and wish each other luck. They lock up collar and elbow, and Billy comes out on top with a hammerlock. MOS reverses it, and Billy heads to the ropes. Clean break, and the two men lock up again. MOS manages a headlock, and Billy changes it into an over-the-top wristlock. The two battle for the upper hand, and finally, MOS locks the headlock back on. Billy looks for a way out, and bounces MOS off the ropes. MOS comes back, and Billy executes a drop kick. MOS goes down, and then quickly gets back up, complimenting Billy on the move.] BL: Oh, come on! Stick a thumb in his eye or something! You can't fight when you're being so nice! LM: These two are professionals, Becky. They respect each other! [Billy comes off the ropes, and attempts another drop kick, but MOS catches him and executes a modified powerbomb. Big pop. MOS picks Billy up and executes a nice Dragon Suplex, then comes off the ropes. He attempts a splash, but Billy puts his knees up. MOS goes to the mat, and Billy follows up with an elbow drop. Billy picks up MOS in a slingshot maneuver, trying to hit his head off the turnbuckle. Billy executes the slingshot, but MOS jumps up to the second turnbuckle and executes a reverse flying body block onto Billy. Big pop as MOS goes for the cover. 1 - 2 - Kickout by Shakespeare! MOS picks up Billy and throws him into the ropes and clothelines him on the rebound. The crowd pops. MOS locks an armbar on the downed Shakespeare. Shakespeare moves to release the hold, but to no avail. The crowd rallies behind him, and he gets to his feet. Billy executes a hip toss, but MOS keeps a hold of the armbar and drags Billy down again. Once more, the crowd rallies behind Billy. Billy's temper seems to be showing, as he gets to his feet and punches MOS to release the hold.] BL: Yes! Slugfest! Just what I wanted to see! LM: Looks like Billy's anger got the best of him. [MOS staggers back, and Billy throws him into the ropes. Billy dropkicks MOS, which staggers him a bit. Billy follows up with a flying headscissors, which takes MOS to the mat. Billy gets up and waits for MOS to get to his feet, then executes an enzuigiri kick, which takes MOS to the mat again. Billy goes to the top rope, and signals for the Curtain Call, and the crowd pops. MOS hears the signal and the cheers, and gets up quickly to grab Shakespeare. He gives Billy a few shots and climbs onto the top rope as well. MOS signals for the Doomsday Powerbomb, and the crowd pops again. MOS lifts Billy up for the bomb, but Billy reverses it into a frankensteiner off the top rope. Huge pop as MOS goes down to the mat. Billy covers... 1 - 2 - kickout by Steel! Billy seems to have taken a bump form the maneuver, though, as he is lying on the mat with MOS. The ref begins to lay a count on both men... 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - MOS gets up on one knee, and Billy pulls himself up with the ropes. MOS bounces off the opposite ropes and attempts a flying body block on Billy, but Billy ducks, letting MOS fly over the top rope and onto the floor outside. Billy goes to the top rope and waits for MOS to get up. Hundreds of flashbulbs go off as Billy launches himself into a plancha on top of MOS. MOS goes down, and Billy picks him up. He throws MOS into the ring and begins to get in as well. MOS somehow musters up the strength to drop an elbow on Billy as he rolls back into the ring. MOS is staggered, but he locks a side headlock on Shakespeare.] LM: Wow. what an exchange we just saw there... Man of Steel is doing the smart thing now, though. He's wearing down Billy while he gets his strength back. BL: Alright, Larry... Who taught you this stuff for tonight? [MOS lifts Billy to a vertical base and throws him into the ropes. Billy comes back and MOS locks on a cobra clutch. The crowd pops as Billy shows signs of going out. The ref checks on the hold to see if it's a choke, then lifts Billy's arm. It goes down. He lifts it a second time and it goes down again. He lifts it a third time, but MOS releases the hold before the ref can let go. MOS picks Billy up and bounces off the ropes. He comes back with a well-elevated crossbody block and rolls up Billy. Steel's momentum takes him over, though, and Billy ends up with the pin. The ref counts... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _NEW_ IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, "Spoootliiiiiggghtt" Biiilllyyy Shaaaakespeeeaaarrre! LM: Wow! Billy Shakespeare just pulled a rabbit out of the hat! That win came out of nowhere! In a flash, he's captured the Cruiserweight Championship! BL: Yay... Okay, can we see some big guys fight now? [MOS gets up as he hears the bell ring, signalling his defeat, and he pounds on the ropes in frustration. Billy taps him on the shoulder and holds his hand out. MOS hesitates, but shakes hands with Shakespeare, and the two men congratulate each other for a good match.] LM: And the two men still remain friends. BL: Makes you want to puke, doesn't it? [Steel climbs from the ring and is comiserated by Bibbo Bibowski. The two men perform a half-hearted circuit of the ring before heading up the aisle, almost absent-mindedly hi-fiving the fans on the way. They pass the IIWF President coming in the opposite direction. Steel stops momentarily to look at the gold belt that President Dan is carrying. Bibbo slaps Steel across the shoulders and they continue up the aisle.] LM: You can bet that Steel will have another opportunity to wear that belt. Besides, now he must focus on his match this Saturday against Tiger Claw for the Intercontinental Championship. [Billy continues to celebrate in the ring as President Dan climbs the ringsteps and steps through the ropes. Billy bows to the President, and then allows him to strap the shiny new belt around his waist. As he raises his arms in victory, the lights in the arena drop out, save for a single spotlight which casts Billy in sharp relief and causes the belt to glint strikingly. Huge pop!] LM: And there you have it, folks! The very first IIWF Cruiserweight Champion! What a victory for Billy Shakespeare -- and what a tournament it's been. We really have seen some of the most exciting IIWF action of all time in these tournament matches. BL: Larry, you've got something on your tie. LM: Have I? [Becky flicks him in the nose as he looks down] Aargh! [Fireworks erupt high in the rafters of the Omni as Shakespeare continues his celebrations.] LM: Well, that just about wraps it up for tonight's show. It's great to be back on the road once again, and the capacity crowd here in the Omni has given us a great start to what is sure to be a great tour. The road to Ring Wars II starts right here, folks, and we'll have more news on that fantastic event in the next few days. Of course, tomorrow night will bring the first ever IIWF Golden Grapple Awards, and I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to finding out just who will be going home with the awards that you, the IIWF's great fans, have voted for. And there'll be more live IIWF action coming your way this Saturday from the Coliseum, in Charlotte, North Carolina. Three of the IIWF's titles will be on the line on Saturday Night, so make sure you tune in! For now, though, this is Larry Morton, for the gorgeous Becky LaRue, wishing each and every one of you a goodnight! [Shakespeare is engulfed by eager hands at ringside as fans clamour to touch the new Cruiserweight belt. Billy is clearly enjoying himself as the scene fades.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+