[An IIWF truck is seen driving down the freeway, past a signpost which reads "Charlotte - 35 miles". Voice over:] TD: The IIWF is back on the road again! We've already hit Atlanta, Georgia, this week, and now we're on our way to Charlotte, North Carolina. If the good people of Charlotte thought Hurricane Fran was a powerful force, just wait until they get paid a visit by the revolutionary force in wrestling entertainment -- the IIWF! [The IIWF truck pulls into the parking lot of the Coliseum, Charlotte, NC. The opening graphics explode onto the screen:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Update -- 13 September 1996 ----------------------------------------------- [Cut to Tim Dross sitting in the mobile IIWF Control Centre, a bank of TV monitors on the wall behind him showing clips of various recent IIWF events, including Midweek Mayhem and the Golden Grapple Awards.] Welcome to another IIWF Control Centre update, folks! I'm Tim Dross, coming at you on Friday 13! I sure hope that doesn't mean bad luck for any of us here in the IIWF... but what a week we've had! On Tuesday, I broke the huge news about the Intercontinental Championship situation, and you can bet there'll be a whole lot more to say on that matter later on in today's report; on Wednesday, we witnessed an amazing edition of IIWF Midweek Mayhem, and saw Billy Shakespeare crowned the first ever IIWF Cruiserweight Champion; and just last night, we were in Atlanta's Midtown Biltmore Hotel for the glittering Golden Grapple Awards. I understand that many of the IIWF's stars are still sleeping off the effects of their revelry as I speak. In today's report, I'll be: - running down all the events of Wednesday's Midweek Mayhem - looking ahead to all the action of tomorrow night's card - getting more news on the IIWF's next pay-per-view spectacular - updating you on the latest rankings and in my Dross Report, I'll be discussing Intercontinental Championship situation. So there's plenty to get through! IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 11 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What a night of action we saw in the Omni, Atlanta, GA on Wednesday night! Let's run down the results: 1. PRISONER #109 upset the HANGMAN in the opening match when the Stone Stable once again attacked the Senate. The referee didn't see the offence, and P109 was able to score the pinfall after Fisto Flash whacked the Hangman in the back with his steel fist. The Hangman, however, is ready to put an end to this endless feuding: [SCENE: The steps leading to the Wizards gym. The Hangman, The Senator, and The Atomic Destroyers are leaving the building.] TS: Well, boys, the deal is almost cut. It is only a matter of time before the eyes of the IIWF are opened to the greatest force ever to be seen in wrestling. Larn: The joke is on the rest, but business is your job, The Atomic Destroyers' job is in the ring. Zodiac Connection, is this supposed to be a mystical warning for us all? Well, boys, you just saw the terror that can be brought forth as only the Atomic Destroyers can create. Steriod: Get ready for the worst time of your life. Having been out with injuries has caused me to want to vent some anger. The rest of the IIWF can attest to the capabilities of Larn and I. We have been in he biggest and baddest matches that the world has ever seen. We are the meanest, toughest, and dirtiest men to ever enter these ring wars. You want us, we will be there. TH: Easy boys, Don't rupture a gut jawing at the camera. Fisto, please do not let your guard down. You never know where it will come from. Or from who it will come from. That thing on the end of your arm has become a goal for me to have in the trophy case back home in Loredo. You think that one match can make you, well guess again. I have a proposal for you. A match that very few have ever wanted into, but it is one of my favourites. Interested? Sign the dotted line and be prepared to bleed.... TS: Fisto, want to know more about this match? Get your head round this: a razor wire, cage submission match... [The Senator is interrupted by a phone ringing. He and his men all hurriedly jump into their limo and speed off. Fade] 2. "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON forced SABIN FIGARO to submit to his armbar after an excruciating minute in the hold. Sab, however, wants another shot at the "Painbringer": [SCENE: Sabin Figaro stands in the IIWF interview area.] Sab: SEXTON! You think you stopped me? The ref stopped the damn match! I could say in that hold all night long, but there were more matches so he HAD to stop it. But I'm not taking this one lying down, Billy Boy. Just watch your back, becouse no one, and I mean NO ONE, gets the better of Sabin Figaro in the end! Comon, rematch, next show, I'll make you feel pain. The Bum Rush will be your demise! LET'S DANCE!!!! [Fade] 3. MR. DAMAGE pinned the MASKED MARAUDER after the Thunderstruck legdrop. 4. THE BILL COLLECTORS were defeated in their debut by STEAMROLLER. The former tag team champions used the Steamrollerplex to put "Money Grip" Ricky Matthews away. 5. THE ZODIAC CONNECTION were disqualified through no fault of their own when they battled the ATOMIC DESTROYERS and Heavy Metal, directed from the outside by Robo Stone, charged the ring and attacked Larn and Steroid. Let's hear from Taurus and Scorpio, who are unabashed at the setback: [SCENE: The Zodiac Connection stand with their manager, Dr. Insane, in the IIWF interview area.] Scorpio: Hey, Taurus, there are a lot of bad men in the IIWF! The fans could definitely use a team they can believe in! You know, someone who will take these so-called "bad boys" and kick their teeth in!!! What do you think is going to happen? Taurus: The horoscope for the IIWF says that the Zodiac Connection will be there to clean up the place. Hey Pain, Inc......care to suffer some real pain boys!!!! The fans deserve a team that wants to win by the rules and Scorpio, rest assured that we will be the ones who will handle it! And with Dr. Insane, the manager of champions by our side, I know that we will be the best! Dr. Insane: Check it out people...we have the Taurus.. probably the strongest man in wrestling...and we have Scorpio...the man that flies faster than the Concorde! Get ready for a good time my people! [Fade] 6. "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC defeated MARTY WARNETT, clocking him with an award behind the referee's back before pinning him. Warnett surely had the match won, with Lebec in his "The End" figure four leglock, but Lebec pulled the stunt to break free and get the pinfall. After the match, Warnett challenged Lebec to a further rematch -- a "Hair vs. Hair" match at Ring Wars II. We've yet to hear Lebec's response. Marty, however, reiterates: [SCENE: the IIWF TV Control Centre.] MW: Yeah, guys, cheers for the footage. [Technicians leave the trailer. Marty inserts a video tape, then huddles over the monitor, his back to the camera.] MW: You know, LeBec, you're seriously becoming a major league pain in the butt. Yet again an opponent had you beat, and yet again, you had to use a Canadian object. Hey, I guess it's the only way you'll ever be a hit. But you felt pain, LeBec, for every party has to End, you now know I'm here, I'm the real deal." [Camera picks up a brief shot of a wrestling ring on the monitor, no sound can be heard] Now, I offered you a challenge, a way of redeeming yourself. A way of saving face. Instead, you turned tail and ran. I guess you had to go to the local 7-11 to buy copies of your latest straight to video epic - it's kinda sad when you're paying your own royalties. [Teasing shot of a vaguely familiar wrestler on monitor, carrying an international object] I've been called, rightly a rookie, but now it's about time I came of age. Ring Wars II, LeBec. I repeat my challenge. Hair vs Hair, Lumberjack rules - I don't want you or your entourage to run and avoid your destiny. And guess what? I'm studying footage to turn the bout to my advantage. Wanna see who it is?" [Marty turns round, stands up, gets out of camera shot. The monitor reveals none other than Brutus Zodiac Booty Leslie Beefcake, complete with shears!] So LeBec, till Ring Wars, I'm going to be in your face. Then, ha, ha, I'll be in your hair. Literally. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya. What ya gonna do, when Partymania rocks wild over you??? [Fade] 7. In the first of the night's three Cruiserweight Championship Tournament matches, BILLY SHAKESPEARE pinned HAKIRO MATSUOKO after the Angel of the Sun had inadvertently careered into manager Brian Lau, throwing him off his rhythm and allowing Billy to hit the Curtain Call for the victory. 8. THE WHITE PHOENIX scored an upset victory over JOE LATTA. Latta had the Phoenix beat, but when Dan Kauffman distracted Latta by coming down the aisle, the Phoenix had enough time to recover sufficiently to hit Latta with a spinning back kick for the pinfall. Latta immediately charged off after Kauffman, but quite an impressive debut for the Phoenix. 9. "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN and VINNY CAPPICOLA fought to a no-contest when Prisoner #109 stormed the ring and attacked both men. Let's hear from the deranged ex-con: [SCENE: Prisoner #109 stands in the IIWF interview area, blood on his hands.] P109: Vinny, let me start off with you.. You was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.. I didn't come to get you, I came for Randy Acorn.. He has a lot of nerves these days.. He had to be taught a lesson.. Vinny just don't get in my way or you will feel the pain too. Randy... Randy... Randy.. you think you are the Man of The House? Well I got news for you: Prisoner #109 is here, and not to play with a child like yourself... I remember when I had a child.. I killed him to stay alive.. He is dead now and I would do whatever I can to bring him back.. But that is the past and this is the present.. I want you in the ring in a little while.. I am going to destroy you punk!!! I am going to show you the other side of Prisoner #109.. And you will _all_ feel the Prisoner's Execution! [Fade] 10. The second Cruiserweight Tournament final saw the MAN OF STEEL also defeat HAKIRO MATSUOKO. It was a highly athletic encounter, but marred ultimately by the presence of Casey "Blackheart" James at ringside. Steel and Casey got into a heated argument in the course of the match, and James appeared to lose his temper and attack Steel, getting stablemate Matsuoko disqualified, and ending the former IC champ's chances of winning the Cruiserweight belt. 11. However, things also backfired on CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES a little later as he was himself on the wrong end of a disqualification when he battled DAN KAUFFMAN. This time, it was Joe Latta who came to the ring and labelled Kauffman with a steel chair, sparking a massive brawl which had to be separated by security personnel. Kauffman has been soul-searching since then: [SCENE: In "Hell's Abyss", the lights are pitch black, yet the camera still picks up the faint outline of the lone wrestling ring in the center of the room. Dan Kauffman speaks in the darkness:] DK: Joe Latta, this is your fate. I don't give a damn about the past happenings anymore, we need to settle this score once and for all. You know as well as I do that we can talk all day long and nothing will get resolved. So Latta, you and I, face to face, no DQ or Countout, no rules, 2 of 3 falls, next Saturday Night. Those are my stipulations. If you win, then I admit your success in the ring and I'll leave you alone. If I win, I'll obviously do the same. You see Joe, maybe I've been going against my own self in this little fiasco... I know full well that brawling is not where my strength lies, but in accepting your attitude and countering it. I've been out of focus ever since Midsummer Madness, and I'll admit that I haven't been up to par. But now, it's you and me, and whatever happens will happen. Prepare and prepare well, wonderboy. For your day is coming. With that said, let me make something clear to the rest of the IIWF right now. A lot of wrestler's have stepped to the forefront with the "good vs. evil" war raging on. Some have accused me of being on the Outlaw's side, some have accused me of not picking a side, and some say that if I stay status quo, I should rather leave the IIWF altogether. Folks, Dan Kauffman will do things based on two things... what is best for himself, and what is best for everyone else. Do I think the Outlaw is wrong, not entirely. Do I think he is right, hell no! You've got to understand, in the game of wrestling, it isn't always the most popular man or decision that comes through, it's who plays his cards at the right time. A wrestler gets about 10 cards in his career. I've used three in mine so far... A win over Rano for the IFWA World Heavyweight Championship, a win over Hammer Qwang for the CFWF International Championship, and the best card I've played so far, the LOSS to Deathbringer at Ring Wars I. Why was that the best? Because I knew after that match that I had done what was best for myself at the time. Well my next card will be played very soon, and I guess you'll all have to wait to find out what that card holds. Oh, and Shakespeare, congradulations on winning the Cruiserweight Championship. You earned every bit of that prize. And MOS, you've proven to me that you indeed have the heart of a champion. Now I'm done for this interview, but I will be heard from in the near future. And Dan Kauffman is far from gone from the IIWF... [There is no more talking as the camera shot fades.] A rumour reaches me that we will find out just exactly where Kauffman's loyalties lie tomorrow night. 12. "QUICKSTRIKE" CHRIS QUIGLEY paid the price for his inconclusive disqualification victory over OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN, ending up with bruised cruciate ligaments in his right knee after a vicious onslaught from Verhoeven. Quigley survived the brutal power moves in Verhoeven's arsenal to put the Quickstriker scorpion deathlock on the Teutonic terror, but Nurse Heidi attacked Quigley, causing Otto to be disqualified, but opening the door for one of the most brutal post-match attacks I've ever seen here in the IIWF. Thankfully, Quigley won't be out of action for long -- he should be back in action in time for next Saturday's card -- but you can bet that he'll make it his mission to halt Verhoeven's reign of terror here in the IIWF. 13. In the last Cruiserweight Tournament match, with the title on the line, the MAN OF STEEL was narrowly beaten by BILLY SHAKESPEARE at the climax of an extremely sportsmanlike and athletic contest. In the end, Steel was pinned after a cross-body block attempt failed, but he remained true to form and shook the victor's hand after the match. Shakespeare graciously accepted the title from President Dan, and will defend it with honour. Let's go to Billy backstage after the close of Mayhem on Wednesday night: [SCENE: Backstage at Mayhem. "Little Willie" can still be heard in the background. It is obvious that the fans are reluctant and too excited to leave. Tim Dross corners a sweaty Billy Shakespeare backstage.] TD: Billy Shakespeare, you're the very first IIWF Cruiserweight champion. Describe the feeling... BS: "All's Well That Ends Well," Tim! Shakespeare once wrote... oh forget the Bard for a second. He was a heck of a writer but he never wrestled. I have, and Tim, it feels great! TD: Are you thinking of who your first defense will be against? BS: There are at least eight men in this fed who could take this belt from me in an instant. The only thing that seperates me from them is I won the championship. Do I want to defend it? Heck No! Quigley pushed me to the edge, Matsuoko over it, and Man of Steel left me hanging by my fingertips. But like it says in Henry IV "True nobility is exempt from fear." I'm the star, but in this business you've got to keep proving your right to stay there. I respect every man who tried to keep me from this gold, and everty man who would take it from me. TD: Any last comments? BL: Born to Perform, Tim. Born to Perform. [Fade] However, Billy will make his first defense of the title next week on Midweek Mayhem! More on that later... In all, another incredibly exciting night's action! However, from the lineup in prospect, this Saturday's card should top it in terms of pure excitement! IIWF Saturday Night - 14 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We're here in Charlotte, NC for tomorrow night's spectacular edition of IIWF Saturday Night, and what a card we've got lined up. Let's run down the matches we'll be seeing: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur [J] [D] Simon Lebec was victorious on Wednesday night by using one of his many awards to clean Marty Warnett's clock. Last night, he failed to pick up any of the Golden Grapple Awards, and tomorrow night, he's going to take out his frustrations on Triple M. I wouldn't want to be Maurice McArthur... The Zodiac Connection vs. The Rotundos [J] [D] The Zodiac Connection were the casualties in a feud that doesn't involve them on Wednesday night as they were disqualified in their match against the Atomic Destroyers. They're going to make up for all that tomorrow night, though, as they take on the Rotundos, the team here in the IIWF that continue to get heavier and heavier with every appearance. Arabian Knights vs. Aces of the Deep [D] This match arose out of a challenge from the Aces of the Deep -- let's hear from Shark and Piranha now: [SCENE: The Aces of Deep are training hard. "Shark" is hitting a punching bag and "Piranha" is weightlifting.] Shark: Well, two matches, and we already meet a force here in IIWF... Piranha: High Plain Drifters, maybe you were lucky in our match... Maybe not. But I'm sure that our paths will cross again... And we will be ready for you!! Shark: Now, we have some more to look for... Arabian Knights, we don't like your attitude. [Shark punches the bag] Maybe a little punches on your heads made this a little better. Piranha: That's right, we're challenging you!!! The contract is ready, just sign the dotted line!!! [Fade] We know that the Arabian Knights will brand the Aces a pair of "infidel pigs", but will they be victorious tomorrow night? This will be an interesting clash of cultures and of styles. Prisoner #109 vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven [D] The vicious ex-con Prisoner #109 is coming off the back of an upset win over the Hangman, while the Teutonic terror is striking out after striking out Chris Quigley on Wednesday night. This will be a simple power battle, although the somewhat distracting presence of Nurse Heidi at ringside could prove decisive. Robski vs. The Punster [D] With all his pretences of grandeur, his controversial business dealings and his highly politicised outlook on the world, it seems Robski just can't find any appreciation for the simple things in life, like, say, puns. He wants to take the Punster out, and the witty wordsmith is going to have to keep out of the way of Robski's power if he wants to succeed in this match. Let's hear from the Punster now: [Cut to the IIWF interview area where the Punster stands with his mask rolled up over his nose. He looks serious and raises the microphone:] "The IIWF comes through my own hometown . . . Atlanta, Georgia . . . and I had to call Billy Shakespeare for complimentary tickets to watch him win the cruiserweight championship. Sheesh. Why wasn't the hometown hero allowed to compete and electrify the crowd? I guess you'd have to call it an . . . uhhh . . . ohm-ission. "But I digress. I'd like to address one Slobski, who seems to think that Americans are a lower form of life. Well, you little purebred goober, you can sit at your little estate where men are men and the livestock are nervous and enjoy your money from illegal activities, but your days of sheep thrills are coming to a close because I'm one American who is ready to goat to work to stop you. Bring your lackey and the gorilla your dreams, because you never know when or where the Punster will strike. But then, they taught you that at Baghdad Tech, didn't they Slobski? "You wanna commit Saddam-my outside the ring? That's fine. But when you step inside the square circle, you're in my terror-tory. I may just save the government a few bucks and pun-ish you myself! Be afraid, Slobski, because . . . [he pulls the mask all the way down over his face] . . . G-Man Punster is on the case! Hehehehehe!" [Fade] Prince of Darkness vs. Sabin Figaro [D] Will the "Sabin Figaro clean job tour" continue tomorrow night in the Coliseum? Sab just hasn't made an impact on the singles rankings since losing his deadweight tag partners, and probably his best hope in this match is if Archangel interferes on his behalf. "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. Vinny Cappicola Billy Sexton's ongoing quest for a shot at the Intercontinental title continues as he takes on another top contender, Vinny Cappicola, tomorrow night. Cappicola's match in midweek was cut short by the interference of Prisoner #109, and Sexton, who is coming off the back of a victory over Sabin Figaro, could well need every bit of speed and wiles he can muster to stay out of the way of the Family's muscleman. However, if Sexton locks on that armbar of his, it's all over for Cappicola. Atomic Destroyers vs. High Plains Drifters Could this be the new beginning of an old rivalry? Just when you thought the Atomic Destroyers and the High Plains Drifters had finally forgotten about their legendary war, the Drifters go and challenge the Destroyers to another match. The Drifters are certainly hot to recapture the titles from the Armed Forces, and possibly see this match as another good step up the tag team ladder, although there's hardly any doubt that they're already by far the top contenders. Let's hear from Pale and Easy: [SCENE: Easy Rider and Pale Rider in a gym] PR: Come on! Push it! Push it! You got it!! ER: [Benching close to five hundred pounds] Aghh...DESTROYERS!!! PR: See that, Larn? See that, Steriod? ER: Yeah!... Well it looks like we'll meet again! PR: Nothin' like some good competition, and you're the best we've faced so far. ER: Take a look at these! [Pale and Easy pull out two belts, gleaming with polished gold buckles] PR: These "belts" are our "Best Wrestler Awards!" We've melted them down and made our own belts because everyone knows we're the best wrestlers... so we should be wearing the belts! WE ARE THE MEANEST HOMBRES IN THE IIWF! ER: AND WE'RE COMIN' AFTER YOU HARDER THAN EVER! [Fade] Well, those title belts of the Drifters' are _not_ in any way sanctioned by the IIWF, but I bet that's not going to stop Pale and Easy parading them as if they were. More headaches for the IIWF President... Outlaw J.W. Hardin vs. Marty Warnett The Outlaw demanded the match, and brave rookie Marty Warnett steps up to the plate. Let's hear from Warnett now: [Cut to shot of desert plains ... plenty of cactii, somewhere a wolf howls ... Marty appears, dressed in ill-fitting cowboy gear. He sings:] "# Rollin' rollin' rollin', Rawhide! # Yee, haw, how y'all doin'? I damn hang near bust my bronco out down yonder, oh err, excuse me a minute... [Hawks up a good 'un, spits. Vaguely metallic sound sound echos repeatedly.] "Well, sirree, my maw always told me, never listen to a cowpoke. Especially not a moronic, half-brained, dim witted pseudo-spiritual, witchdoctor wanna-be. Do I respect your violence? Hell, yes. Do I respect your brawling ability? Hell, yes. Do I respect your achievements here in the IIWF? Hell, yes. "Do I respect you? Hell, no. [A desert storm brews, horses run for cover, cowboys try to escape the deadly force. Suddenly, a tornado appears as if from out of nowhere, tossing a pick-up truck. It slowly twists itself into a human face - the face of Outlaw Hardin! The tornado approaches Marty] "Is this a storm I see before me? [Marty raises his arms to the sky, yelling for the tornado to come on. Hardin's face contorts, eventually morphing into the IIWF logo.] "Ha, ha, ha, ha, you see Hardin, am I to be impressed with your tricks? I listen to Sabbath and Ozzy, am I to fear evil? This was all achieved through the IIWF TV Center. Thanks, boys. [Whirr as video film stops, revealing Marty in cowboy costume standing in front of a blue screen.] "Things are not always as they seem, Hardin. I accept your challenge for Saturday. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" [Fade] I only hope Warnett knows what he's letting himself in for, poking fun at the meanest man in the IIWF. Hardin's promising some surprises in this match, but perhaps Warnett is the one with a few tricks up his sleeve. After all, why on earth would he volunteer to face the Outlaw? ================================== RAZOR WIRE, SUBMISSION CAGE MATCH: ================================== Hangman vs. Fisto Flash This has got to be one of the most grisly matches I've heard tell of. A steel cage is erected around the ring, with razor wire wrapped around the bars, so climbing it is a practical impossibility. Thus the only way to win this match is to force your opponent to submit, and the Hangman could well have the advantage, since Fisto isn't known for his submission wrestling skills. However, first and foremost this match is going to be a real brawl, and it's virtually impossible to come out of this kind of match without some injuries. Viewer discretion is very much advised here, folks. Fisto Flash is confident, however: [SCENE: Robo Stone stands with Fisto Flash in front of a saloon in some deserted town. Robo Stone makes his way to the camera.] RS: Hangman. What a GREAT thing you did to my boy. HA! HA! What was SO great?!? The fact that you decided to mess with 'im was the biggest mistake that you'll EVER make. You see, Hangerboy, you are obviously TOO young and stupid to understand the danger zone that you have entered. Oh, but you WILL understand........in the ring. HA! HA! HA! [The camera zooms in on Fisto Flash circling a noose. He circles and circles until finally grabbing it and ripping it to shreds with his bare hands. He grabs a piece of the noose and carries it toward the camera.] FF: HANGMAN!!!!! You are in the RED zone of terror!!!!! Things are REALLY starting to heat up around us, aren't they??? But it's gonna cool down REAL fast!!! Rest assured, our feud WILL end with the crack of a neck, or the crack of steel! RS: The time has come.... there's a NEW sheriff in town! [Fade] ========================================================= IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP NO COUNTOUT NO DQ MATCH: ========================================================= Armed Forces vs. Law & Disorder The Armed Forces look upon this match as "easy" after defending their titles against Stunt Team USA last week. However, the bluster and bravado of the champions could turn to disaster tomorrow night if they underestimate the desire of veteran grapplers Ace Maverick and Marshall Law. So far their IIWF performances have been somewhat erratic and inconsistent, but what better time would their be to suddenly put it all together than in a match of this magnitude? Surely these stipulations swing the match in the favour of the challengers, especially when the champions cheat as much as the Forces, and have a propensity, as demonstrated last Saturday Night, for walking out on matches that are going badly. I'm going with the law enforcers in this one, folks. I think the Forces' arrogance is going to backfire on them, and we're going to see new tag champions crowned tomorrow night. The Forces, confident as ever, would disagree: [SCENE: inside the Omaha Civic Auditorium. The IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces, are working against some jobbers. NavCom is in the ring, working the armbar, while DefCon is on the outside.] Aaron: There they are. NavCom and DefCon, my Armed Forces. The World Tag Team Champions. [NavCom tags to DefCon.] Aaron: Here is the big man. The destroyer of the team. DefCon can pin ANY man, and he knows it. He leaves people layin' in the ring, and won't stop until his opposition is knocked out. [DefCon, after toying with the man enough, tags to NavCom, and delivers the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile. NavCom goes all the way up to the top with one leap, and lands the devastating AK47 Splash. 1, 2, 3. NavCom throws the jobber over the top to the floor, and the Armed Forces stroll over to meet with Aaron...] NavCom: Well, what's goin' on? DefCon: Yeah, who did ya set up to job for us this week? Aaron: You want another shot at Flaw and Disorder? NavCom: HAHAHAHA!! You gotta be kiddin' me. They wanna piece? Aaron: Apparently so. They had some choice words for you recently. DefCon: Yeah, we heard those. We're gonna dismantle 'em, and just like we said...title or no title, we'll win. Period. NavCom: Listen up, Maverick, Law. We've got the gold for one reason, and one reason only. Because WE ARE THE MEN! And we're going to be the men, until somebody can prove us otherwise! So bring it on. We'd be GLAD to put these babies up for grabs against you [pointing to the belts]...we could use another successful defense!!! Aaron: Ok, so you've got 'em in the ring this Saturday Night. But, come on... give 'em a title shot? DefCon: Listen Aaron. It doesn't matter WHAT kind of match we have against these idiots. We'll win no matter what. So, it doesn't really matter if the belts are on the line, does it? And besides, ever since we've shown up on the scene, ratings have been going through the roof. We've taken IIWF Saturday Night and done to it what Howard Cosell did to Monday Night Football... made it the #1 show in America!!! I'm surprised they don't call it "IIWF Armed Forces Showcase"!!!! Aaron: Alright, I get the picture. Well, we had a good match against Stunt Team last week. I hear they've been whining up a storm lately. NavCom: Hey, man...we don't whine, we don't moan, we've not shed a single tear since we came aboard. We just went out there and kicked butt, and pretty soon, the Chump Committee got their heads out, and realized that WE were the talent, we were the fan draw, and we were the best tag team in the IIWF...and now we've got the belts!!! Not Stunt Team, not the Drifters, nobody but US!!! DefCon: You said it. We've got the titles, we're the men. And hey, Stunt Team. We can walk off whenever we want...and you can't do a thing about it. We just outsmarted you, that's all. We know that we'll keep the belts on countouts and DQs and draws, and we're prepared to use that advantage too. You've gotta beat us, we don't have to beat you. Aaron: Do they get another shot? NavCom: Sure. Why not? If the committee orders a rematch, so be it. I don't care if they put us in a steel cage or what. DefCon: Wait a minute...they don't deserve that! Aaron: Whoa! NavCom: Yep, you heard me! Put us in a cage, belts on the line! Screw everything. We're sick of the whining, the bawling, the... [Aaron quickly calls for the cut. Fade] The Forces could find themselves biting off more than they can chew here, folks. More as we get it. ========================================= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ========================================= Tiger Claw vs. Man Of Steel Assuming that the title belt is once again in the possession of Tiger Claw tomorrow night, he faces another tough challenge from the man who narrowly missed out on taking the Cruiserweight Championship on Wednesday night. The Man Of Steel seems to have come of age recently here in the IIWF, and his recent performances have certainly shown him switching up a couple of gears. Tiger Claw, who's had a rough ride recently -- indeed, many think he's only clinging onto that title more by luck than judgement -- has already taken a loss to the Man Of Steel, and there seems to be a certain amount of disorganisation in the ranks of the Syndicate at the moment. Just look at the way they effectively knocked Hakiro Matsuoko out of the Cruiserweight finals, first by Brian Lau interfering, and then by Casey James sticking his nose in. If the same level of disorganisation persists tomorrow night, I think we're going to see the Man Of Steel strike a blow for justice in the IIWF and take that gold strap! "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Hakiro Matsuoko This promises to be a titanic battle! The history between these two is very well known now, and both men will have to be at their focused best in this match to defeat the other. Bad news for Hakiro -- he got beaten twice on Wednesday night, and who knows what state of mind he's going to be in tomorrow night. Sure, he'll want to redeem himself, but he's also burning with anger at Musashi, and that could end up working against him. Good news for Musashi, though -- he's reunited with his manager, "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, a welcome boost to his preparations for this match: [SCENE: Takezo Musashi and Don McQueen are standing in the locker room area, McQueen is clutching a bunch of contract papers.] TM: All of the fans of the IIWF are probably wondering how the situation stands between Don McQueen and I, so we have decided to make a statement to the press. I am announcing that we have resolved our differences and McQueen will be accompanying me to the ring for all of my matches from now on. He has a great business sense and knows the wrestling business inside out, if it wasn't for him I would not have even had the opportunity to enter the IIWF. Don has assured me he will not interfere in my matches from now on and I need him for the wheeling and dealing behind the scenes necessary to get the best matches so... [Don McQueen interrupts] DM: I just hope you're gonna be able to hold it together for your match against Matsuoko on Saturday night. That boy is pretty riled up, you might need all the help you can get. [Musashi faces McQueen, glaring.] TM: I will concern myself with my foes inside the ring, you concern yourself with the petty business outside of the ring! [Don McQueen grumbles and mutters about how Musashi had better be working on his highest level in the future and then skulks off the set. Enigma turns his face back towards the camera, his expression neutral and focused once again.] TM: Angel of the Rising Sun, the time for battle draws nigh! Saturday night will be our first encounter, my warrior heart tells me that it will be the first of many! I have beaten you once before and will do so again with ease. I have spent many long days meditating, my mind wandering freely throughout the cosmos, searching for the insight necessary for our coming battle. My mind has never been so focused or so clear. I have spent many long hours practising ancient warrior calisthenics, techniques that are excrutiatingly painful, but will make my physical body supple and swift, able to absorb tremendous punishment. My soul still burns from the lies you spoke about the Grandmaster and about myself, but when we clash I will be able to channel my rage positively. As you ever did in the past you will fight wild and frustrated, you will let your lust for revenge consume you in the heat of battle. Hakiro Matsuoko, you do not have the focus necessary to beat me. I have seen your new Butsemetsu Drop, I must admit it is an impressive move, but there is a yawning chasm between impressive and the cosmic heights of the Starsault. Matsuoko, it appears the odds are stacking against you, my soul yearns for Saturday night, I will prove once again that "The Enigma" is superior to you! [The Enigma lifts up his arms and exhales a huge cloud of silvery blue smoke up into the air, clearly hyped up he then rushes from the set. Fade] ========================================== IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ========================================== Deathbringer vs. The Sandman The climax of tomorrow night's action will see the IIWF Champion step back into the ring for a defense of his world title against the Sandman, the enigmatic leader of the Dark Knights who still seems willing to sell out to the highest bidder. Possibly the most dangerous factor in this match is the fact that tomorrow night will be the first time for a couple of weeks that Deathbringer and the Outlaw J.W. Hardin have been in the same arena as one another, and the record of what happens when these two are around at the same time speaks for itself. Deathbringer must remain focused on the challenge at hand if he's going to stay on top of the Sandman _and_ keep his head above water concerning Hardin. Let's get comments from the IIWF Champion: [SCENE: The mortuary. Deathbringer stands behind some caskets, the IIWF championship belt on his shoulder] DB: "Sandman...You are coming... And tomorrow night you will be there, just a few steps away from your fate. You consider yourself as a heel, and this is good for accepting your own being is yet another step to heaven. However, I said I am on a mission. On a mission to destroy the evil roots in the IIWF. You, Sandman, belong to those roots. And I will destroy you just like I will destroy any other evil force in this league." [Deathbringer takes the belt from his shoulder and places it on top of a casket] DB: "This belt is what you are all aiming for. Sure it is an honor to wear this belt. But you have to be strong enough to handle the power that comes along with it or you will not be able to stop... [he takes the belt off the casket. Fast as lightning he strikes his empty hand down on the coffin, creating a deafening noise] ... and find nothing but death. Sandman, you are next on my list. You say you are prepared to dance with the devil. But are you prepared to dance with the Reaper? Only time will tell..." [Deathbringer puts the belt back on top of the coffin. He then slowly walks around the caskets and stops in front of the camera] DB: "Outlaw. You want me to watch your next match. And I want _you_ to watch mine. At the end of the line _we_ will meet. Hopefully you _then_ will know who and what I am." [Deathbringer turns around as if he wants to leave, but then comes to a halt and turns back to the camera.] DB: "And for that teacher of yours... Even if it was Cadaver himself, it would not make any difference. _You_ are the one to enter that battle. And I am your opponent. No one can help you with that. You better start to pray to God for mercy..." [Deathbringer turns around and leaves, leaving the IIWF belt lying on the coffin. Fade] Perhaps we will find out just who the Outlaw's teacher is tomorrow night. However, the Sandman is adamant that he should be the chief focus of Deathbringer's concern: [SCENE: The Sandman, standing over a grave that reads Deathbringer. A low haze settles around him as he quitely speaks:] "It's funny what the night can do to a man. During the day you can see, but at night, things are distorted and hard to see. Once again let me make my point clear. Outlaw, Lau, I'm in! I want to be in War Games! Actually, I'm not going to ask I will demand it! You both know I am evil through and through. If there are common enemies I will do what it takes to destroy them! Look deep into my eyes, search your feelings, I will be there at the War to show the world what I am capable of! Along with the Knights we proved it at Midsummer Madness that we could take out faces, I don't see the difference here. Except for this, minus Phantom and Kinder and enter Outlaw and members of the Syndicate. "I took it upon myself to add fuel to the fire in challenging the World Champion this Saturday. Look at the grave I am standing over. What does it read? Deathbringer! "Bringer! You see this, I am no longer coming at you, I'M HERE. You and I will go toe to toe and believe you me, darkness will SHINE!! You will know the power of a Dark Knight! I hear you speak of the reaper, talk of the devil and rave about the darkness. I am that entity, I run with the hounds of hell, I am feared by Minos and his followers, I made Dantes infernos and I even made the devil sell me his soul. I'm just like a bad dream, only this is no dream! "As sure as I'm standing here I will come through for Oulaw and Lau. I won't forget the master mind of Josey Wales the most dangerous man. It will be a pleasure to work with such a great one. He is truley one of the greatest managers of all times, one who has earned my full respect. This by no means is a sign of me selling out the Knights. We are always at full strength. I can not speak for the Prince of Darkness but I want him by my side in the Wargames. "I am the Sandman, at Ring Wars I will destroy the enemy!" [Sandman slowly dissolves like sand into the grave. Fade] Sparks are surely going to fly tomorrow night, folks! Don't miss one moment of the action! IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 18 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Wednesday, we'll be coming at you from the Scope, in Norfolk, Virginia, and already the card is shaping up to be a real stormer: - "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. Marty Warnett - IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: = Billy Shakespeare vs. "Badboy" Randy Acorn Plus two more matches are close to being signed. Pain Inc. have appealed against their suspension. The IIWF President received the following request from manager, Mr. Mic: [SCENE: Mr.Mic sitting outside near the pool at his mansion in England. He speaks into the camera.] "Hey Prez, let's cut through the small talk and get down to business. First, Pain Inc are not here, they are back in Indonesia resting. They must not know I'm doin' this or there could be a problem, ya know what I mean. Listen, I'm sorry what happened to that ESPN reporter and those by-standers. We just went a little overboard ya know. I tell you what, reinstate us for Saturday Night and something like this will never happen again. Whaddya say?" [Fade] The IIWF President has made a statement that Pain Inc. will be able to compete on Wednesday's card, and it is probable that they will be facing the Zodiac Connection in the Scope. Another match that an IIWF superstar wants bad is -- well, let "Nuclear" John Bomber explain, if he can stop screaming long enough: [SCENE: An empty gym... Suddenly, John Bomber bursts onto the scene, screaming:] JB: YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ROBSKI!!! MAGUS!!! MAGUS!!! ROBSKI!!! I'M TIRED OF YOU!!! YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME THIS WAY??? I'M "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER, NOT A JOBBER!!! I'M CHALLENGING YOU FOR THE MATCH OF YOUR LIVES!! THAT I ASSURE, WILL BE SHORT!!! A HANDICAP MATCH, BETWEEN ME AND YOU!!! NO DQ!!! ARE YOU MEN ENOUGH?!? LET'S SEE IT!!! YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Fade] We'll hear Robski and Magus respond in Tuesday's report. Sheesh, that guy really needs to cut down on his caffeine. Heavy Metal also wish to issue a challenge to the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces: [SCENE: Robo Stone is leading HEAVY METAL through a naval base. They finally arrive at and go into an office.) Robo Stone: HELLO! HELLO! Soldier: Yes, SIR! May I help you, SIR?!? Robo Stone: At ease, humanoid. Where can we find your TOP Armed Forces? Soldier: You mean Navcom and his partner??? Robo Stone: Yeah, THOSE losers. Where are the bums??? [Atlas Steele clenches his fist] Atlas Steele: [sarcastically] We wanna TALK with them. Soldier: I'm sorry, but they're on an assignment. I'll tell them that you were here. Apollo Steele: DON'T. We'll be back. Atlas Steele: And when we WILL come back; the ONLY mission that they'll be on is to find food to bring to their cardboard box. Soldier: Are you sure that I can't take a message??? Robo Stone: Sure, you can deliver a message. GET 'EM, boys!!!!!!! [HEAVY METAL start pounding away at the soldier until he is knocked unconscious.] Robo Stone: [looking down at the knocked out body] Make sure you deliver it EXPRESS!!! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! [They all leave while Robo Stone laughs hysterically and HEAVY METAL hi-five each other. Fade] However, Heavy Metal may have to contend with a suspension after that display... We'll have more on Wednesday's card in our next report. Trash Talk ~~~~~~~~~~ Stunt Team USA continue their training under their new manager, the "Wizard"; let's go to them now: [SCENE: Outside Iron Jack's hut, where Steve sits on the bench, resting. The Wizard enters the screen and Steve jumps up immediately.] SF: "Oh, it's not what you think, I'll be back at work immediately!" [turns around] BM: "Hold on, Sir Forget. Thou may rest if thou feel the need." SF: "???" BM: "It is most important to have a comfortable training speed. There is no use for haste. Those despicable cowards who call themselves the _champions_ [spits on the ground] have turned my challenge down. Now we've got plenty of time to plan their destruction." SF: "Turned it down. Those wimps..." BM: "Yes, my knight, they said they defeated you fair and square. And of course they say that they are the best team in the IIWF." SF: "Ah, so that's what they said, eh? Give us a chance to face 'em again, and we'll show them what kind of team _WE_ are! Sorry, Wiz, no time left. [stares into the camera] I have to train for battle!" [jumps up and runs into the house] BM: [smiling] "I really like this. They're heated up. [to the camera] Armed Forces, you're truly in trouble now..." [The Wizard laughs as he walks out of shot. Fade] IIWF Ring Wars II - 12 October 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Big news, folks! The IIWF President, Dan Spreadbury, will be on hand tomorrow night by live video link-up to announce the first matches on the card for this spectacular pay-per-view event, which will originate live from the Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana on October 12. Over 80,000 fans will be on hand to witness the tremendous action, and you'd better make sure that you're there too! Call your local cable operator right now for special rates, and tune in tomorrow night to find out just who's going to be going up against who in Indiana! Latest Rankings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's take a look at the latest rankings, direct from the fax machine from the IIWF's headquarters: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 15 11 2 2 80% (WC) WC Tiger Claw H 20 11 8 1 58% (IC) IC Billy Shakespeare F 15 12 3 0 80% (1=) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chris Quigley F 5 4 1 0 80% (3) 1 Outlaw J.W. Hardin H 13 9 2 2 77% (1=) 2 Otto Verhoeven H 4 3 1 0 75% (29) 3 Dan Kauffman F 15 10 3 2 73% (4) 4 Billy Sexton H 11 8 3 0 73% (5) 5 Vinny Cappicola F 8 4 2 2 63% (8) 7 Prisoner #109 H 4 2 1 1 63% (23=) 8 The Sandman H 5 3 2 0 60% (9=) 9= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 5 3 2 0 60% (9=) 9= Hakiro Matsuoko H 13 7 5 1 58% (7) 11 Don Antonio F 12 7 5 0 58% (11) 12 Brad "Bodybag" Kinder H 17 9 7 1 56% (12) 13 The Punster F 8 4 3 1 56% (13) 14 Simon Lebec H 13 7 6 0 54% (20) 15 Robski H 11 6 5 0 54% (15) 16 Man Of Steel F 19 9 8 2 53% (16) 17 Blackjack Haley H 15 6 6 3 50% (17) 18 Casey James H 14 6 6 2 50% (14) 19 Fisto Flash H 13 6 6 1 50% (18) 20 Prince of Darkness H 13 5 5 3 50% (19) 21 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 4 1 1 2 50% (23=) 22 Sabin Figaro F 2 1 1 0 50% (30) 23 Joe Latta H 12 5 6 1 46% (21) 24 The Hangman H 8 3 4 1 44% (22) 25 Magus H 8 3 5 0 38% (25) 26= Mr. Damage H 8 3 5 0 38% (27) 26= Marty Warnett F 4 1 3 0 25% (26) 28 "Nuclear" John Bomber F 7 1 6 0 14% (28) 29 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The White Phoenix F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 30 Pale Rider H 2 0 2 0 0% (31) 31 Archangel F 1 0 1 0 0% (32) 32 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Armed Forces H 8 6 2 0 75% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ High Plains Drifters H 15 11 4 0 73% (1) 1 Stunt Team USA F 14 9 5 0 64% (2) 2 Atomic Destroyers H 10 5 4 1 55% (3) 3 Aces of the Deep F 2 1 1 0 50% (4) 4 Steamroller F 8 3 5 0 38% (5) 5 Law & Disorder F 5 1 4 0 20% (6) 6 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heavy Metal H 4 4 0 0 100% (7) 7 Rising Sun Revolution F 4 4 0 0 100% (8) 8 The Arabian Knights H 1 1 0 0 100% (9) 9 Pain Inc. H 1 0 1 0 0% (10) 10= The Zodiac Connection F 1 0 1 0 0% (-) 10= The Bill Collectors H 1 0 1 0 0% (-) 10= ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dross Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Possibly the biggest story in the IIWF right now is the legal standoff between the Family and the IIWF President concerning the events of last Saturday Night, when Don Antonio beat Tiger Claw for the Intercontinental Championship. However, the Don had been fighting fire with fire, and broke the rules to get the win. The official demanded that there should be an immediate rematch, and despite the Family's protests, the Don wrestled the rematch and was defeated, Tiger Claw powerbombing him using a baseball bat for the pinfall victory. This brutal manoeuvre injured the Don, bruising his sternum and cracking one or two ribs, but it did more of a blow to his pride and sense of justice. It later emerged, as the Don was in hospital, that somebody had broken into Brian Lau's Dojo and stolen the Intercontinental belt, which was then delivered to the Don from an anonymous source. Of course, Brian Lau believes that it was the Don who was responsible for the theft. However, the Don took it upon himself to launch into a civil law suit against the IIWF, claiming that the instant rematch was outside the jurisdiction of the IIWF's officials, and that the IIWF President, Dan Spreadbury, must be on the payroll of Brian Lau. These claims were quickly rebuked by President Dan in a live interview given exclusively here on the IIWF Report on Tuesday, and he threatened the Family with both termination of their contracts as well as counteraction in the courts on charges of libel. These very serious legal games of cat and mouse appear to have paid dividends, however. I understand that the IIWF President and the Family have reached an out-of-court settlement that will allow the Don to return to action, and the charges against the IIWF be dropped, although it is difficult to see how the practices of a man as benevolent as the IIWF President could be called into question in the first place. In any case, rumours suggest that the agreement includes the following terms: the Don must return the Intercontinental Title to its rightful owner, Tiger Claw, and cooperate with the investigations into how it came to be in the possession of the Family; and in turn, the Don will get his rematch for the title, possibly at the upcoming pay-per-view, in a match whose stipulations he is allowed to dictate! Once again, it seems that the IIWF President has acted very fairly in this matter. Before we leave the subject, let's hear from Brian Lau, who wishes to touch upon this matter: [SCENE: The training area of the Dojo. Heavy bags hang from the ceiling, and a ring is set up in the middle of the room. The four wrestlers stand with Brian Lau, and it's pretty obvious it's not a jovial air that hangs in the room.] KT: Hello, folks. I'm coming to you with comments from Brian Lau and the Syndicate. Brian, not a very good week for the Syndicate, is it? BL: No, not at all. First, we find that a man named Takezo Musashi has followed Hakiro Matsuoko into the IIWF to rub his nose in the past, then Don Antonio steals the IIWF Intercontinental belt from the real champion, Tiger Claw. Now it seems that Shinja Chow has some problem with me. I've been recieving messages from him stating that he's going to "put me in my place," and make me "pay for my crimes." To be honest, I have no idea what this man is talking about. But let's talk about the more important things going on. First, let's talk about what transpired this past Wednesday. HM: Unfortunately, I lost in the finals of the Cruiserweight tournament. While this is disappointing, I am not defeated. The fact that I do not hold this title allows me to focus completely on Takezo Musashi. I won't have to worry about every newcomer knocking on my door and challenging me while my thoughts are elsewhere. Tiger Claw is able to balance the two, but I'd rather be able to place all my attentions in the most important areas. Musashi, everywhere you go, I'll be watching. Every time you step outside, I'll know where you are. I will not sleep until we meet in the ring. It would seem that I will have my wish granted very soon. I will make you pay for robbing me of the right to continue my training. CJ: Next, let's talk about my match against Dan Kauffmn. Yes, I lost as far as the record is concerned, but did it really look like I was dominated? Of course not. I lost by disqualification, but it was worth it, considering Joe got to get his hands on Dan for a few moments. But let's face it. It's really not my place to take care of Dan. I have heard the proposal from Man of Steel regarding this Wargames match. I want to say that I submit my name to be on the team opposite of Man of Steel. I don't even care who I'll be forced to team with. I just want to get my hands on MOS inside of a steel cage. Have you ever seen what a steel cage can do to a face, Steel? Think of a cheese grater. I'm going to have the pleasure of taking you out. I'm not content with just beating you. I want to shut you up so I don't have to listen to your whining and continue with my career. JL: Speaking of whining and holding back shining careers, look at that bonehead Dan Kauffman. Kauffman goes on and on about how I've wronged him, and how the Syndicate has wronged him. Look back in time, Dan, and think about the events surrounding my joining the Syndicate. Brian made the offer, and you imposed yourself and made the answer for me. The only way to get it through your thick head that the Syndicate was good for me was to pound on you for a bit. We didn't hospitalize you, Dan, you did. Your pride, your ego, and your stupidity put you in the hospital. If you don't stop interfering in my matches, Dan, I'm going to have to do something drastic. You know as well as I that Brian Lau is the most powerful man in the IIWF. You also know that anyone affiliated with the most powerful man in the IIWF should be given the utmost respect, otherwise you may get taken out. I've been so good as to give you this warning. Be man enough to step down. BL: Which brings us to Don Antonio. As much as I hate to give in to a tantrum thrown by a mere _contender_, I want to give Antonio a rematch at Ring Wars II. Not that I think you're worth it, Don. I just want the whole world to see Tiger Claw put you in the hospital for good. I will _not_, however, get into the ring with an ex-wrestler. I did so once, and it turned out that the buffoon had the nerve to hit me with a foreign object. I'm not going to put myself in that situation again. I am a _manager_. I am _not_ a wrestler. Do you understand? I hope so. As much as you may envy my superior intellect, you can _not_ start taking shots at me to get the upper hand. If any one of your "Family" lays their hands on me again, I'll sue you into a lower tax bracket. Now, I've recently been considering the words of Josey Wales and his Posse. Joesy, I am very sorry to see the Posse crumbling before your very eyes, and I hope you can get things straight once again. If you need my help, you can find my number easily. The problem is that I do not understand why you thoughtlessly throw threats my way. Yes, my organization is doing very well, but that is no reason to start talking down to me. I have never treated you with disrespect, Wales, and I would appreciate you treat me the same way. I am not trying to push you aside. What I would prefer is all of us working together. We all have common enemies. We are right now in the reign of Deathbringer, and it must come to an end. We must work together to right this wrong. Don't smash the work we've accomplished just because you feel you don't play a major role at the moment. KT: Well, Brian, I think that's all the time we have. But before we go, could you have Tiger Claw sign these official IIWF Thai Boxing shorts... BL: Of course, Kenny. After all the good you've brought to this organization, it's the least I can do. [Brian hands the shorts to Tiger Claw, who begins to sign them with a marker. One of the letters on the front of the shorts falls off, and Tiger Claw stops, and looks up to Brian Lau with a raised eyebrow.] BL: And they make fun of _us_ for making substandard products in Japan... Don't worry, Tiger Claw, we'll get this straightened out. And Kenny, we'll get you a refund. KT: Thank Brian... Okay, folks, we'll see you at IIWF Saturday Night. Until then, so long, everybody! [Fade] So there you have it, folks! The first match is lined up for Ring Wars II, and that just confirms the rumours I have heard. However, Lau will have to accept whatever terms Don Antonio demands in this match... We'll have more on this situation tomorrow night, but for now, that's all we've got time for. Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ That just about wraps it up for today's update, folks, and fortunately nothing seems to have gone wrong -- touch wood! Not that I'm superstitious at all, you understand, it's just that Friday 13 can be a little... anyway, I digress. Don't forget to tune in tomorrow night for what promises to be one of the most exciting IIWF cards in history, complete with announcements from the IIWF President concerning Ring Wars II, as well as some phenomenal wrestling action. Anyway, don't miss one moment of the action! Until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+