##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== Control Centre Update - 20 September 1996 ----------------------------------------------- [Opening graphics fade through to Tim Dross sitting in front of a bank of TV monitors in the mobile IIWF Control Centre.] Hi there, folks, and welcome to another IIWF Control Centre Update! I am, as always, Tim Dross and, as always, we've got a whole lot to talk about in today's report. It was another eventful night of Midweek Mayhem on Wednesday, and we'll be talking a whole lot about what went down in Norfolk, Virginia, as well as looking forward to tomorrow's huge show, live from Chicago, plus taking a look at the lineup for Ring Wars II. All that and much more coming up here in the next sixty minutes, so let's get straight to it! IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 18 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The fans in the jam-packed Scope, Norfolk, Virginia, witnessed another hot evening of IIWF action this past Wednesday. Let's run down the results: 1. CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES wasted no time in putting away MAJESTIC MAURICE McARTHUR with his Black Death spinebuster. 2. MAN OF STEEL had to contend with a loitering Casey James in his match with the SANDMAN directly after Casey's match, and it cost him dear. Although Steel put on a good performance, he was no match for two men, and when Casey attacked him outside the ring, he was sufficiently stunned for the Sandman to apply his devastating Nightmare chokeslam, and both deplorable individuals perpetrated an attack on Steel which had to be broken up by his Wargames teammates. 3. The HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS defeated STEAMROLLER at the climax of a good battle between two former IIWF Tag Team Champion partnerships. Pale and Easy continue to flaunt their unsanctioned title belts, however. 4. ARCHANGEL was counted out and therefore lost against JOE LATTA when the Prince of Darkness made an appearance in the aisle, causing the big man to lose his focus. Archangel took off after the PoD, leaving Latta to just sit in the ring and await victory. 5. DAN KAUFFMAN defeated "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC when the inimitable Mr. Lebec was the recipient of a thoughtful gift from Marty Warnett, who brought a wig down to ringside. Lebec was so distracted by the delivery that he was caught in Kauffman's "Powerplant" spinebuster and pinned. 6. With the Atomic Destroyers not in the building, HEAVY METAL cruised to an untainted victory over THE BILL COLLECTORS. Robo Stone's men remain undefeated here in the IIWF, and with an impressive run of five out of five. Who is going to take these men down a peg or two? 7. PAIN INC. defeated the unlucky ZODIAC CONNECTION, Morningstar pinning Scorpio, the Zodiacs' high-flyer, after the "Simply Pain" spike powerbomb. Let's hear from Morningstar, Hellraiser, and their manager Mr. Mic: [SCENE: the backlot of Mr.Mic's mansion. Both Hellraiser and Morningstar are wearing their chain mail masks and their karate pants. Both are using karate to break masonry blocks, and seem to be enjoying the pain. Mr.Mic steps towards the camera wearing blue jeans, A No Fear t-shirt and a pair of Oakley sunglasses.] Mr.Mic: So, Grand Vissier, you're really upset huh, gonna get us back huh? Ewwwwwww I'm just shaking!!!! Get lost old man, we merely came out to ringside to wish the Baywatch Knights luck and the Prince slipped. Should I be held responsible because your so called royalty is a klutz?! Next thing I know Moron..oh sorry Omar is attacking my men, a very stupid move in itself. Now you want us in a Texas Tornado match not this week but next week...ha ha ha I issued this challenge over a week ago and now you want to reply [He turns to Pain Inc.] Hey guys: [Pain Inc. stop and look at Mr.Mic] You guys ever heard of Arabian Chicken? [They both scream and start pounding the blocks with more intensity and power] Okay, Grand Brassiere, you got it Texas Tornado match next Midweek Mayhem. Boy are you guys in for a shock. You think that Butthead and the Beast can beat Pain Inc.? You're dreamin'! On a much brighter note I would like to request a few things. One, I would like to challenge the Armed Forces to a non-title match against Pain Inc. Those two G.I Joes seem to forget that there are more that just the High Plains Drifters in this leaque. Second of all I would like to ask President Spreadbury, in all his wisdom, if he could include both Morningstar and Hellraiser in the War Games match on Casey "Blackheart" James' squad. The War Games is what my boys THRIVE ON!!!! [Fade] The Zodiac Connection aren't pleased at all, however: [SCENE: Scorpio and Taurus stand in the IIWF interview area.] Scorpio: We gave it our best against Pain, Inc and we should have won....but now we go lower in the rankings and now we have to prove ourselves worthy to all of you great competitors in the IIWF! Taurus: Pain, Inc....like the rest of the fools around here you may have won a battle but we will win the war...the people demand that we do! [Fade] 8. The ARABIAN KNIGHTS defeated LAW & DISORDER when Omar choked Marshall Law with his belt, allowing Prince Abdul Akmar to execute a German Suplex on the fallen justice seeker for the pinfall, much to the distress of the capacity crowd. However, the Knights couldn't be much happier with the way things turned out: [Cut to the sneering faces of the Arabian Knights and their manager, the Grand Vizier.] Vizier: Law and Disorder you were warned, I questioned your reasons for signing this match, and the result is there for all to see, you faced the wrath of the Arabian Knights and you were destroyed!! And Marshall Law, I was wondering, how is your neck today? [The whole group laugh] Prince: But we are not getting carried away with this victory over Law and Disorder -- in fact the result was never in doubt. All the teams that we have faced so far have been jokes, is this the best the IIWF can offer? This leads me onto our next match this Saturday night against the fish men, Ha! Jellyfish men, more like, you spineless infidels. So you don't like us and you don't like our attitude? Well, we do not care what you think, we do not care what the worthless fans of the IIWF think, we will have our revenge for the tainted victory you scored over us, thanks to those [something in Arabic] pigs Pain Inc. Vizier: Yes, Aces of the Deep the Arabian Knights have a score to settle with you, you dared to lay your hands on Prince Abdul and now you will pay the price and be rest assured the price will be very high. But what happens to you will be nothing compared to what we have in store for you Pain Inc and your no good manager Mr Mic next Wednesday, it was a very poor victory that you scored over the Zodiac Connection. [The Vizier shakes his head] Vizier: Oh yes, Mr Mic it would seem that we are very short of eunuchs in the Royal Palace at the moment and you and your boys would make ideal candidates. Prince: I have a message for the gorgeous Becky LaRue, I was wondering Becky, did you like the gift that I sent you? I would like you to know that there is plenty more from where that came from. [The Prince smiles and he and Omar leave the set.] Vizier: While I have been unimpressed with some of the tag team wrestlers here in the IIWF, the same cannot be said for the singles wrestlers, one or two of whom have caught my eye. Who are these men you may ask? Well, one is the "Painbringer" Billy Sexton a very impressive submission wrestler. I do like this man's style and his defeat at the hands of that Welshman Marty Walnut was very unfortunate, another case of outside interference. The other... well, only time will tell... [Fade] The Knights clearly have plans here in the IIWF... and it looks like we're going to have to wait to find out what they are. 9. THE WHITE PHOENIX easily defeated the almost comic newcomer, LOUIE THE NINJA, who, despite being a well-built individual, seemed more concerned with making a fool of himself than wrestling. Shinja Chow put him away with his spinning back kick, named the Phoenix Strike, and seemed to impress Dan Kauffman, who was watching from the aisle -- impressed him enough, in fact, for him to add Chow's name to his Wargames team. 10. MARTY WARNETT defeated "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON thanks to the interference of "Showstopper" Simon Lebec, who came looking for Warnett after the arrival of the wig earlier in the evening. Lebec went to hit Warnett with one of his many phoney awards, but ended up labelling Sexton instead, and Warnett was able to cover Sexton for the pin in the ensuing confusion. After the match, Sexton chased Lebec back to the locker room where, I understand, harsh words were exchanged, but Miss Crystal prevented things from exploding into a brawl. Sexton remains upset, however: [Camera fades into Billy Sexton somewhere in Virgina. Sexton looks very angry as he turns to the camera to speak:] "The only way you're going to beat me is when someone sticks their nose in my business. In my past three matches that is what happened. The time for letting things be are over. Now my chances for a title shot are growing dim. Tiger Claw, you are going to be the first to feel my pain. Now you, Showstopper, we worked together in the past. And I carried the team... you will not like what I have planned for you. "Superstars of the IIWF beware...the Painbringer Billy Sexton is here on a mission. That mission...to finish you all." [Fade] 11. "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER scored what must be termed an upset victory in a Handicap Match against ROBSKI and MAGUS. Bomber looked to be in trouble against the two vicious rulebreakers, until the Punster came down to ringside and whisked Jasmine away, leading Robski to head up the aisle after the witty wordsmith, allowing Bomber to overcome the improved odds of beating a single opponent, and put Magus away for the win: [SCENE: Magus is in a dark crevice, apperently hiding. Shouts of men, and dogs barking are heard from far off.] Magus: They are searching for me... why? What have I done wrong? [long pause] Is it that I haven't tormented "Nuclear" John Jobber enough? Is it because I have let Man of Steel underneath my skin? OR IT IS BECAUSE I AM JUST CRAZY?!?!?!?!?!? No one can answer me... but soon, I am sure, they will find me. And I hear that soon I will be fighting Marty Warnett. If you made a challenge to me, you must be crazy. Now I'm sure you're all saying to yourslef Magus, you're the crazy one, not Warnett! Am I really crazy? OR DO I ACT THIS WAY PURPOSELY?!? I don't know... but Bomber, you will be my first priority... then Warnett... then these nice young men in their clean whites coats WHO JUST WANT ME BACK HOME!!!!!! Oh, one more thing. I want to make a challenge... TO MAN OF STEEL! [Fade] 12. "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE defeated "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN at the climax of a punishing and exciting match. Acorn seemed to have Shakespeare beaten, but when the referee took a bump, Acorn was brutally attacked by Prisoner #109, and when the referee came round, all he saw was Shakespeare covering Acorn for the win. Billy won't be happy with the way the first defense of his IIWF Cruiserweight Title went, but as we all know, the champion's number one priority is walking out with the belt, and that's exactly what Billy did. However, Prisoner #109 is still gunning for Randy Acorn: [SCENE: Prisoner #109 sits in the shadows of a dimly-lit jail cell.] P109: I have two things on my mind I need to get off my chest. First, I am talking to you and only you "Badboy" Randy Acorn... I don't want you at Ring Wars. I am not only going to kick your ass... I am going to beat all the rookies like I planned a long time ago.. But right now you are the main thing on my mind. [Points to an injury on his knee.] These stitches all came from Randy Acorn.. He will pay the price for every one of them. He will, you can count on it. Now to my other challenge... I was watching a report and the name Robski crossed my mind. I have battled him in other feds.. He has beaten me 1 out of 4 tries.. Well, it ends here in the IIWF.. I am going to try to hurt you, Robski.. I don't want to kill you.. I want everyone to think of Prisoner #109 when they see you.. Me and you will meet for the very last time.. Me and you in a Steel Cage Match... I am going to take you out in style punk!! [Fade] 13. OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN was defeated by the "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI in a match which saw many of the two Wargames teams get involved. Hakiro Matsuoko came down to the ring to hinder Musashi, and Chris Quigley came down to hinder Verhoeven, and things looked to be going badly for the Enigma until he rallied from a Matsuoko attack and hit the Starsault Press on Verhoeven, who was held down to the mat by Quigley. Musashi got the pinfall win, but a brawl broke out in the ring, resulting in the signing of a tag match pitting Chris Quigley and the White Phoenix against Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven and Hakiro Matsuoko to go down this Saturday Night. In all, it was a tremendous night's entertainment, and there's more to come this Saturday Night! IIWF Saturday Night - 21 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tomorrow night's show will come live from the huge outdoor Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois, and the matches signed promise a great deal! Let's take a look at the action we'll be seeing tomorrow night: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Louie the Ninja [J] [D] Simon Lebec fell at the hands of Dan Kauffman in midweek, and he's determined not to go down to defeat when he faces the bizarre Louie the Ninja tomorrow night. Lebec's workmanlike, unspectacular style betrays his cunning ring savvy, which allows him to put his opponents off balance with his stalling tactics. Louie the Ninja, who was beaten by Shinja Chow on Wednesday, will have to try harder in his second IIWF appearance. Mr. Damage vs. The Punster [D] The Antipodean athlete with an attitude, Mr. Damage, has challenged the Punster to a battle this Saturday Night, and the Punster appears to have accepted the challenge. This match promises to be a fast-paced, high-flying encounter... and Mr. Damage already has a gameplan: [SCENE: Mr. Damage on Josey Wales' ranch. He speaks:] "Punster, I hate you. I hate your fun-loving approach. I have fun and pleasure making you have a bad time in the squared circle with me. Noone in this fed can be more evil, more bad, more foul mouthed, more vengeful than me. Mr Damage is gonna install DAMAGE in your brain. I wish to ignite a flame that won't fizzle out until you're going home in a bodybag. I could just see your mother crying now that her boy's life was a waste of time. I wanna rip off your head and [bleep] down your neck, asshole. Just sign the contract, fool." [Damage storms out of shot. Fade] Well, that's a slightly unorthodox gameplan for a wrestling match, but Mr. Damage tends to be a slightly unorthodox person. This should be an interesting match, folks. "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. Masked Marauder [J] [D] Randy Acorn is not a happy man, and he's going to take out his frustrations on the Masked Marauder this Saturday Night. The Marauder had better be prepared for all-out assault, because that's what Acorn's planning in the ring tomorrow... and also what he's planning when he gets his hands on Prisoner #109: [SCENE: Randy Acorn standing at the edge of a beach, with the water barely coming across his bare feet. He has an angered look on his face. He turns and sees the camera, then takes a seat in Indian yoga position and begins to speak.] RA: Okay, it's time that Prisoner pussy stops this bull$#!t that he's been doing. You want a piece of me?? Well you can have a piece of me at any time, all you have to do is ask, or are you just a goddamned mute?! We all know about your past in jail after my little interview with one of your cellmates and we're all disgusted by it. You mean nothing to me except the fact that you're a pest that I must get rid of. So I offer you this, one final chance at me, one on one, on next Midweek's Mayhem. If you win, you get the luxury of knowing that you've beaten the best but if I win, then I get rid of you for the rest of my life. No more matches, no more sneak attacks. Do you accept, you inbred pussy?? [Randy quickly hops to his feet, scratches his head, looks at his watch, and then begins to speak again] Now onto more important matters. Shakespeare, I don't like you too much. Sure you've held your own against me in the past but everyone knows that the title you have should be around my waist now. I will not stop until I get it either, whether you have it or someone else has it, soon it will be mine. Now I want to warmup for my possible match on Wednesday with a match for this Saturday's card. So I'm issuing an open contract to anyone that decides to accept it. Are you man enough?? [Randy looks at his watch once again.] Well it looks like it's time for me to get out of here because I have some important business to take care of. But until next time, I'm going to give you a salute. [Randy pulls down his pants as the camera blacks out his back area] KISS MY [bleep]! [Screen fades to black as Randy walks towards a sleek red Mercedes sitting in the parking lot.] "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. Sabin Figaro [D] Sexton is not a happy bunny right at the moment, having lost to Marty Warnett in midweek. Tomorrow night, he'll go up against the man he beat three weeks ago, who demanded a rematch. Figaro is a very powerful and impressive competitor, but many are wondering whether he really has what it takes to make it here in the IIWF. His recent performances have been lacklustre, and when Sexton's fired up, he's a very difficult man to beat. I'm backing the "Painbringer" in this one. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. El Super Gecko [J] [D] This should be a real battle of the high-flying martial artists. I don't know much about El Super Gecko, save that he's one of the less well-known of the Japanese wrestlers whose personas are based on dragons and other reptiles. However, from the poor quality tape I have seen of this individual, he seems to possess some impressive skills. Whether they will be enough to take out the IIWF's "best newcomer" remains to be seen. Stunt Team USA vs. Steamroller [D] These two teams have met before, but tomorrow night they will meet again, as Ron and Steve continue their quest for a rematch against the cowardly Armed Forces, who walked out of a title defense a couple of weeks ago. Under the guidance of their new manager, the "Wizard" Belgarath McEndeavour, they have possibly lost their immediate Yankee charm, but have gained considerably in their tactical thinking, and they could well down the former IIWF tag champs, Steamroller, tomorrow night. Let's catch up with Ron and Steve as the Wizard sets them another challenge: [SCENE: Inside a training gym. In one corner stands an old wrestling ring which seems as if it has been used for decades. On the canvas lies a football connected to a rope that has been tied to the roof. The Wizard enters the gym with Stunt Team USA.] BM: "Well, my knights, I'll now present to you the ultimate task. If you can handle it, you can handle everyone and everything." [They walk over to the ring and enter it.] BM: "Alright, now I want you to kick this football. But it's every man on his own. Neither of you helps the other." SF: "Maybe I got ya wrong, but ya want us to kick that ball? Nothing else? Why should we need any help with it?" [Steve approaches the football, but the Wizard steps into his way] BM: "No, wait, noble knight. It's more difficult than thou think right now." RF: "Hell, what could be difficult with a ball lyin' on the ground?" BM: "That's exactly the point, Sir Fire, it won't be lying on the ground..." [The Wizard raises his arms and the football is slowly pulled up to the roof] SF: "Hey, ya the 'Bringer, or what? [laughs] Should have known..." BM: "Thou may laugh when you solve your task, Sir Forget..." [The football comes to a halt at a height of about 25 feet] BM: "Now you may begin..." [With these words the Wizard leaves the gym, leaving two confused stunt men alone] RF: "???" SF: "???" [Ron and Steve stare up to the football, looking somewhat dazzled. Fade] If they've managed to complete their task, they'll be in the ring tomorrow night. The Bill Collectors vs. The Rotundos [J] [D] John Robbins and Ricky Matthews, the Bill Collectors, along with their hired help, I.O.U. Manager, haven't really had a chance to show us what they're made of in their first couple of matches, but they're hoping that will change tomorrow when they go up against the hopelessly obese Rotundos. Arabian Knights vs. Aces of the Deep Last Saturday Night, these two teams squared off, and the Deepsters pulled off what some might call a shock victory, pinning Prince Abdul Akmar while his partner, Omar, was trying to keep Pain Inc. at bay in the aisle. This week, Pain Inc. aren't scheduled on the card in Chicago, so perhaps we'll see an untainted test of these two teams' skills. The Prince and Omar have been impressive to date here in the IIWF -- will they impress again tomorrow night? Marty Warnett vs. Magus Marty Warnett is hot off the back of a shock victory over "Painbringer" Billy Sexton in midweek, and he hopes to continue his winning ways tomorrow night with a win over the lunatic Magus. Magus, on the other hand, has had a rough week, losing in a handicap match to "Nuclear" John Bomber, when his partner ran out on him. However, a cautionary word: the staff of the institution at which Magus is an outpatient have told me that Magus is particularly unstable right at the moment, and liable to snap for no apparent reason. Marty Warnett beware... Archangel vs. Prisoner #109 These two men have had mixed fortunes since entering the IIWF. While P109 has fought in some great battles, his vicious and rulebreaking style have led to more losses than wins, usually due to disqualifications, and he's really been out of control, interfering in countless matches. His rampage must be stopped, and Archangel could be the man to do it. Although his first couple of matches here in the IIWF have been tainted by interference from other wrestlers, this behemoth is hoping to put his shaky start behind him tomorrow with an emphatic win over Prisoner #109. We'll see how well that works. The Archangel has a few words, both for Prisoner #109 and the Prince of Darkness, in The Purgatory Moment: [SCENE: Bishop Right and Archangel stand, almost engulfed in a bright white light.] BR: Prince of Darkness: you do not agree with the Angel of Mercy match yet you disturb our progress. A: We are not amused by your double-mindedness. BR: Joe Latta will not escape vengeance. A: Hell hath no fury like an angry angel. BR: Outlaw seeks to emulate his foes. A: Emulate me, country man. BR: And finally Prisoner 109 and his vicious mandible claw. A: You shall feel the power of the Judgment Day Drop. BR: May Heaven help those who stand in our way. A:Because there will be hell to pay. [Fade] Such calm and repose is sadly missing from the existence of Prisoner #109, however: [SCENE: P109 sits in his jail cell, rocking backwards and forwards.] P109: I look around IIWF and keep on looking.. I hear Archangel talking about me.. Then he actually challenges me to a match this Saturday.. Well I know he is one tough cookie.. But he needs to know that I am not no walk over.. But I have my mind set on one thing... That is to be the #1 contender.. Nobody gets up from Prisoner Excution.. A lot of people have fallen 'cause of that move. You can count on it you won't get up when you are in it... Even you, Archanel, will feel it.. It will bring you down and before you know it you will have thrown the towel.. That will be another victory for me. [Prisoner #109 watches clips of Archangel on a battered old TV set. Fade] The White Phoenix & Chris Quigley vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven & Hakiro Matsuoko This exciting tag match pits four of the IIWF's greatest against one another. On the one hand, we have the huge Teutonic terror, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, with the exception of the Outlaw J.W. Hardin probably the most dangerous man in the IIWF, and former Intercontinental Champion, Hakiro Matsuoko, who, having perfected his new finisher, the Butsumetsu Drop, is a renewed threat, particularly since his battle with the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi has really started to hot up. This partnership is one of power, speed, agility and desire: Verhoeven and Matsuoko want to put their opponents not only out of the match, but out of the IIWF. On the opposing team, we have two newcomers to the IIWF: the White Phoenix, the pyromaniac with some very impressive ring credentials, and "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, returning after a slight knee injury, who just can't wait to get his hands on Verhoeven. This one's going to be a mini Wargames match in its own right, and I'm expecting fireworks in the ring tomorrow night! So, too, is Quigley, who I caught up with earlier today: [SCENE: Tim Dross is with Chris Quigley, who is standing with a smirk on his face, wearing a light jump suit, with the Quickstrike symbol on the left.] TD: Folks, I'm here with "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. Chris, what are you doing lately? Are you trying to become the policeman of the IIWF or something? CQ: Hell no, but if Verhoeven gets involved with me, I'll get involved with him. If he thinks I'm gonna sit back and act like a goody and set great examples for everyone, while he costs me WINS, I'd just like to ask him what colour the sky is in his world! There is NO way I'm gonna put up with that Nazi wanna be coming down match after match with that rent-a-bitch Nurse Heidi! You think you're gonna have trouble finding me before, or even AT War Games?! The only trouble you are gonna have, my friend, is getting away from me! I'm gonna tackle you every chance I get, and everytime I send a punch into that face of yours, you find out more and more why I'm considered to have hands of steel, son! TD: Well, tomorrow night you are teaming with White Phoenix to take on Verhoeven and Hakiro Matsuoko. Any thoughts on that? CQ: White Phoenix, from what I've seen, is an excellent wrestler. And I already know he's a great guy. Most people find me hard to approach. Hard to talk to. Well Phoenix came up to me and in so many words told me that if I ever needed him for anything against Otto Verhoeven, he's right there! I appreciate that, and usually, I'm not one for any kind of alliance. I'm known as more of a loner, but when someone makes that kinda offer, you can't reject it. And as for Matsuoko... I'm telling Takezo Mushashi right now... STAY OUT OF IT. It'll be a lot more useful for you if you let us kick his ass, and take the wind out of his sails, rather than for you to come down and get us DQed or something. Remember that. There's been a change in you lately, and don't think I haven't noticed, and don't think I'm not impressed. But there'll be hell to pay if outside interference costs me another match! TD: You're talking about the Newcomer of the Year award winner here... CQ: Another thing, I beat Mushashi, yet, I'm not even considered for that award? Well, no matter, the Golden Grapple awards are novelty only. The World title is what tells people you're the best. And that statement is gonna be made loud and clear by "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley soon enough. I don't give a damn who has the belt, they think they're a champion? They'll have to prove it to me. TD: Thanks for your time, Chris. CQ: Anytime. [Quigley and Dross shake hands and Quigley points a thumb back at his chest and mouths the words "The Best" while Dross looks at the camera smiling as it cuts back to the Control Center...] Otto Verhoeven, however, is not in such a good mood: [SCENE: A luxurious hotel apartment. Tim Dross is standing beside Otto Verhoeven, who wears a German European soccer champions jersey. Nurse Heidi is standing in the background.] TD: Wow, Herr Verhoeven, you convinced the hotel manager to give you the royal suite? OV: Shut up, you stupid wimp. I have some words for Takezo Musashi. I thought you were an honorable wrestler like most Japanese I met, but now I learned that you are a shame for your country, accepting a tainted victory like that. After all this interference from Quigley you... TD: Now wait a minute. Chris Quigley came down to stop Hakiro Matsuoko! OV: Ja, right, and he did not hold my legs down so I could not kick out of that wimpy finisher? TD: Well, he did that indeed, but... NH [Enraged]: Is this the man fans cheer for, a rulebreaker and a covard who vanted to hit ... me? OV: You are really brave, Quigley. NH: This not only shows that all the Americans are barbaric inbreds but that Kidstrike is just a feiges pig and, I trust you, Otto, he vill be slaughtered. OV: Do not fear, Heidi, I will not dissapoint you. From now on Quigley will not experience a happy moment in the IIWF until I, no, we, get our revenge. You will pay dearly for even trying to lay your hands on my firl and costing me a match. Do not believe for a moment that your little friend can stop me from breaking your back. I am sure that the "Angel of the Sun", the single best aerial star from Asia, and Herr Lau, the leader of the most successful stable in the history of this federation, will be more than able to keep him down and take him out. NH: After Saturday night the brainbroken Canadian can go back to Newfoundland and design more of those ugly clothes. I heard he desires a leather skirt for his boyfriend next. TD: Ahem, anything about Wargames? A couple of new participants have been chosen. OV: I dont cre. If Quigley escapes my wrath until October the 12th it will be my sole mission to destroy him there, and everybody who will dare to stand in my way. I do not understand all this "good versus evil- mystic trash" Hardin and Deathbringer rant about, I am only looking forward to bashing some heads and END THE CAREER OF CHRIS QUIGLEY! NH: Welcome to the Slaughterhouse, imbeciles! [They leave the apartment. On his way out, Verhoeven pushes the cameraman down. Dross helps him up again.] TD: Are you okay, Sam? Wow, the Syndicate and the Butcher join forces, can it get any more dangerous? [Fade] Of course, it can -- when the Syndicate joins forces with the Senate and the Posse. More on that in the Dross Report a little later. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. Prince of Darkness ----------------------------------------- This isn't just any Intercontinental Championship match. The Prince of Darkness has continually demanded a match against Tiger Claw with his own special stipulations: that if he wins, Tiger Claw goes home without the gold; but if the PoD loses, he leaves the IIWF! No managers or other wrestlers will be allowed at ringside, so hopefully we will see a true contest of skill between these two individuals. Tiger Claw, despite being a great athlete, is a beatable champion, and the Prince of Darkness might just have the power in his arsenal to do it. However, I'm not sure which outcome to this match I would prefer: Tiger Claw minus the Intercontinental Championship, or the IIWF minus the dastardly Prince of Darkness. It's hard to say. Whatever the outcome, this one alone's worth the price of admission. Let's hear from the Dark Prince now: [SCENE: Prince of Darkness looking at various pieces of footage from the past. A clip of him winning the FeWS Heavyweight title is showing.] PoD: That was the first title I ever won. Wasn't my last. Mer and Fantasy put on a great show. Now, it's do or die. My career's on the line for this match on Saturday night. I've never done this before, and it's a big step. Tiger Claw! I'm a man of my word. You beat me and I'll leave. There will be nobody at ringside to distract us, just a battle to the end. The better man will prevail, and I'm riding that the better man will be me. I know I should have beaten you in our last match, but that's in the past. I'm not an old dog by any means. I think I can pull out another good show. Come along for the ride... if you're a true champion, that is. [Camera fades as POD continues to watch clips.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- BEST OF THREE FALLS, NO COUNTOUT, NO DISQUALIFICATION: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dan Kauffman vs. Joe Latta ------------------------------------------------------ Tomorrow night's main event will be a real slobberknocker! A real feud-ending -- and possibly career-shortening -- match between two of the most bitter rivals in the IIWF. Ever since Joe Latta rescued Dan Kauffman from Deathbringer months ago, there's been competition of one sort or another between these two athletes. Kauffman began Latta's wrestling training, and Latta performed very well in the squared circle, but when he fell under the influence of Brian Lau, their relationship changed. Lau sowed the seeds of discontent in Joe's mind -- telling him that Kauffman was keeping him in his shadow, that he was preventing him from realising his true potential -- and Latta grew to hate Kauffman. Dan, on the other hand, wanted a reconciliation between himself and his former friend. But the situation just continued to escalate, and Latta so enraged Kauffman that he seemed to be perpetually without focus, battering every opponent with uncharacteristically illegal moves, using chairs and other ringside objects to his advantage. Now that the larger issue of the Wargames match has reared its head, both men want to leave behind their rivalry in order to concentrate on the war that is fast approaching. Both have agreed to leave each other alone, whatever the outcome of this titanic battle -- at least until they meet again at Ring Wars II in that double ring steel cage match. This is one match that you don't want to miss, folks, guaranteed. Before we leave this match, let me just read out the following note which I received from Dan Kauffman earlier today: +-- It seems that the war of the IIWF is beginning to take shape. James and the "Outlaws", myself and the "Sheriffs" if you will. Isn't it fitting that the main Sheriff and a main Outlaw get to butt heads? Latta, short and sweet, Morphine is in your future, and the Sheriffs are gonna go up one game to none. Dan Kauffman "FLASH" +-- So tune in to see all of that great action, live from Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois, tomorrow night! It promises to be a spectacular evening's entertainment. Trash Talk ~~~~~~~~~~ We've already heard from Pain, Inc. today on the show, but apparently they've been making all manner of media appearances, and I'm supposed to run some footage of their manager, Mr. Mic, on CNN's "Larry King Live." Let's roll that tape: [The show opens with a fade to Larry sitting on one side of a desk with Mr.Mic on the other] LK: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Larry King Live. For many years there have been different opinions on the sport of professional wrestling. The most visible leaque in the world is the IIWF. Tonight my guest is the highly controversial manager of one of the deadliest tag teams in the IIWF Pain Inc. Would you please welcome Mr.Mic to the show. Mr.Mic: Thank you Larry LK: Thank you? God that's a surprise! Mr.Mic: Watch it old man, don't get cheeky!!! LK: Okay, okay sorry. Now your two men... by the way, where are they? Mr.Mic: [a little upset] Now why in the hell does everybody have to know where Pain Inc. is?! THEY'RE TRAINING LARRY, THEY'RE TRAINING! LK: How often do they train? Mr.Mic: Good question, finally! My boys train at least 6 hours a day... weights, roadwork, karate, pain management LK: Pain management?! Mr.Mic: Of course, you can't call yourselves Pain Inc. without pain management... for at least an hour each day I will pretty much torture both Morningstar and Hellraiser, anything from caning them to dropping masonry blocks on their heads. It doesn't hurt 'em because they don't let pain enter their system. LK: How do they do that? Mr.Mic: See Larry, my men have two goals: first, to win the IIWF tag team gold; and secondly to beat up as many people as possible on the way there. LK: Your boys enjoy beating up people? Mr.Mic: There's nothing they like more!!!! LK: Now you have been perceived by the people and more specifically by the IIWF media as a loudmouth Mr.Mic: Finally a chance to tell my side, Yeah I've heard what's been said, more specifically by you, Tim Dross. You like to say I'm a motormouth!!! Well I guess that's your opinion but I would recommend that you pay more attention to your broadcasting rather than playing Miss Manners. No wonder the real announcers in this sport are "Soundbite" Steve Roberts and Becky LaRue -- and I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Miss LaRue on her Golden Grapple... if anyone deserved it, it was her. Am I a loud, flamboyant, in-your-face guy? Sure I am, but I get the job done and that's what counts. The old adage of "it's not wether you win or lose it's how you play the game" was probably made up by a loser. LK: Let's take some calls... Hello, New Orleans. Caller: Hey Mr.Mic you guys rock! Great match last night! Tell me what's next for Pain Inc.? Mr.Mic: This is what a real wrestling fan sounds like. The Zodiac Connection said "We're here in the name of honor and justice....and we will destroy you" yeah right lemme check guys.....ummm we kicked your ass all over that damn ring. Hell, you were lucky to escape with your lives and we even gave Scorpio a reminder not to mess with Pain Inc. As for the future what else....the IIWF tag-team titles...Oh Armed Forces get ready for the real force in the IIWF. LK: Okay......hello Pakistan, India Caller: I hate you Mr.Mic, The Arabian Knights will finish you and Pain Inc. You guys will never become IIWF tag-team champions!!! Mr.Mic: OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH! I'm really scared. Hey Habib, I'll tell the 7-11 manager you're using the courtesty phone again....GO MAKE A SLURPEE PUNK!! Listen, the Arabian Knights have not, will not and can not pose a real threat to Pain Inc. they are a bunch of babies. They say we caused their loss to the Aces of the Deep! Get real, you got sand-in-the-brain or somethin' if you guys can't keep your balance don't blame us!! As for the Grand Vizier you are wearing my patience thin, Aladdin....don't cross me -- it will lead to your demise. LK: Now I hear there's a big event coming in October??? Mr.Mic: Larry, I'm impressed....NOT!!! You're right Ring Wars II from Indianapolis. I have told the President of the IIWF that my team would like to be in the War Games on Casey James' squad. If the good president sees fit not to do so, I would like a combination Russian Chain-Texas Bullrope match against any team that thinks they can beat us. LK: Well, that's all the time we have for tonight. For Mr.Mic... Mr.Mic: Hey nobody speaks for Mr.Mic... goodnight morons!!!! LK: This is Larry King! Goodnight! [Fade] So I was wrong to call Mr. Mic a motormouth? Yeah, right. Let's move on to get comments from the IIWF Champion, Deathbringer: [SCENE: The mortuary. Deathbringer stands in a very dark corner.] DB: "The last fight at Little Bighorn... Believe me, Outlaw, I know that fight better than anyone else, including you. You talk about abomination. You say that the way the natives were treated could not be right. And I agree. [Deathbringer starts to slowly approach the camera] DB: "I once told you that I would destroy all evil. And this is not something I start with here in the IIWF. I have walked my path for centuries now and I already destroyed evil all along this path. Who do you think let things develop as they did on the 25th of June 1876? The hand of Fate? [Deathbringer stops, raises his left hand and looks at it] DB: "Perhaps... [He drops his left hand and raises his right] DB: "But it certainly was the claw of Death that finally solved the matter. [He drops his right hand and continues to approach the camera.] DB: "Outlaw, you know that I have nothing to do with what the White Man did to the native Americans afterwards. But somehow I have a feeling that you blame me for it in any case. [Pause while Deathbringer still approaches the camera] DB: "The piper is calling. The upcoming war cannot be prevented anymore. So you will have your battle, Outlaw. _Your_ battle for dominance here in the IIWF. _Your_ battle between good and evil. This battle will claim one casualty, and one casualty only. It is written that this will be you, Outlaw. You say that flesh will be seperated from bone... [Deathbringer stops beside a casket, opens it, takes a 6 inch nail out of it and closes the casket again, laying his left hand on top of the coffin] DB: "You say that the blood will flow... [Deathbringer raises his right hand with the nail and drives it through his left hand, the camera moves in to the hand as Deathbringer raises it. No sign of blood can be seen...] DB: "So what do you think... _Whose_ blood will flow? [Deathbringer pulls the nail out of his hand and drops it to the ground. He again moves towards the camera.] DB: "Outlaw, it might be too late for you, but it is not too late for your soul yet. I will welcome you with open arms as you enter the darkside... But whatever I say, whatever I show you, you will still try to cheat me. And I have to admit that there _are_ ways to cheat the Reaper... However, in the end there is only one winner of every war and this is Death himself. Now you claim to be a student of death and you claim to learn a lot about me. [Deathbringer finally comes to a stop right before the camera. His eyes begin to glow more intense than ever.] DB: "Soon you will be learning more about death than you can handle... Outlaw, prepare to meet your maker!" [Fade] Strong words, and strong actions from the IIWF Champion. He'll be in action this coming Wednesday -- we'll hear more about that coming up soon. IIWF Midweek Mayhem - 25 September 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Next Wednesday's event will originate live from the Spectrum in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and already we've got some tremendous action lined up: - Marty Warnett vs. Mr. Damage - TEXAS TORNADO MATCH: = Arabian Knights vs. Pain Inc. - Outlaw J.W. Hardin vs. Let's hear the challenge to Mr. Damage made earlier this week my Marty Warnett: [Fade in to scene of the Australian Outback, the beautiful sight of Ayer's Rock dominating the surrounding landscape.] "G'day cobbers. No worries, another shrimp on the barby, jeez, I need the dunny, must have been all those tinnies. Strewth, the cameraman's a Sheila!" [Marty staggers into view, wearing bush clobber, an over large hat weighed down with hundreds of corks, and a couple of cans slung over his shoulder.] "Mr. Damage - or should I call you Bruce? I look upon the heritage of Australia, the proud Aboriginal tribes in tune with the spiritual - I guess they'd appreciate the mumbo-jumbo in the IIWF at the moment. Brave, noble people, oppressed and trampled underfoot by people like you, Mr. Damage. Trampling people underfoot, it's just ironic to see your status in the IIWF, Mr. Damage - a paid lackey. And, if that wasn't bad enough, you're following in the fine tradition of top-notch, outstanding Aussie grapplers - starting with , err, Outback Jack, and ending with, err, Outback Jack." [Shotguns can of XXXX.] "Damn, that hit the spot - it has to be said, your country's amber nectar tastes damn good, even though it's brewed elsewhere. Mr. Damage, let's get it on, Wednesday night - I want to send a message to LeBec." [A dull thumping sound picks up, as a kangaroo passes through...] "Skippy? Is that you boy? You've gotta get the doc, Skip, it's urgent..." [Fade] Plus we'll have the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deathbringer, in action, and the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces, will also take to the ring. More matches are being lined up at the moment, and we'll have a complete rundown of the card in Tuesday's report. IIWF Ring Wars II - 12 October 1996 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We're now only three weeks away from the biggest night in IIWF history, Ring Wars II. We've now heard about seven great matches for this spectacular event, so let's take a look at the lineup as it stands at the moment: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= WAR GAMES MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dan Kauffman vs. Joe Latta Man Of Steel Casey "Blackheart" James "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare "Painbringer" Billy Sexton Vinny Cappicola The Sandman The White Phoenix Prince of Darkness ? ? --------------------------------------------------------------------- We've heard the announcements over the past week or so concerning this tremendous match, and we've got six men on both sides. Two more men will throw their hats into the ring for this incredible match, and we'll find out just who they will be in the very near future. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CASKET MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Deathbringer vs. Outlaw J.W. Hardin ------------------------------------------------- This Casket Match promises to have a cataclysmic effect on the IIWF. Everybody knows that the Outlaw J.W. Hardin has some very devious plans in store for Deathbringer, and we can only hope that the IIWF Champion is ready for Hardin's tricks. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE BASEBALL BAT MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. Don Antonio ---------------------------------- Don Antonio will be back in action next Wednesday following his injury layoff, and he can't wait to be back in the ring tuning up for his huge cage baseball bat match with Tiger Claw in the Hoosier Dome in a couple of weeks -- that is, of course, if Claw still has the IC belt on October 12. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi -------------------------------------------------------------- Special stipulations are being negotiated for this match. From the whispers I hear, you're not going to believe the special rules the two combatants are concocting. More news as I get it. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= HAIR vs. HAIR MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Marty Warnett ------------------------------------------- Things have been getting a little hairy between these two IIWF superstars in recent weeks, and it's all going to come to a head at Ring Wars II. Will Marty Warnett be able to cut Lebec off in his prime, or will it be sheer delight for the "Showstopper"? Sheesh, I must stop letting the Punster write my scripts. Let's hair... I mean, hear, from Simon Lebec: [SCENE: Simon Lebec sitting in a barber's chair, while his personal hairstylist is trimming.] SL: Just a little off the top Jerome. I want to look good for Warnett come Ring Wars. Warnett... you talk about silence?? Punk!! Try to beat me at Ring Wars!! I beg you. Hair will be cut, but pal, it ain't gonna be "The Showstopper's"!! Marty my boy, I got a surprise for you at Ring Wars!! Wonder what you'll look like bald?? HA!! [Fade] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LUMBERJACK RULES NOOSE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Hangman vs. Fisto Flash (w/Atomic Destroyers) (w/Heavy Metal) ------------------------------------------- This will be a wild match, that's for sure. With two tag teams on the outside and a noose on the inside, I don't want to be too close to the ring when Fisto and the Hangman get it on one last time. Latest Rankings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's take a look at the latest rankings in the singles and tag team divisions. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 16 12 2 2 81% (WC) WC Tiger Claw H 21 12 8 1 59% (IC) IC Billy Shakespeare F 16 13 3 0 81% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chris Quigley F 5 4 1 0 80% (1) 1 Outlaw J.W. Hardin H 14 10 2 2 79% (3) 2 Dan Kauffman F 16 11 3 2 75% (4) 3 Otto Verhoeven H 6 4 2 0 67% (2) 5 Vinny Cappicola F 9 5 2 2 66% (7) 6 Billy Sexton H 13 8 5 0 62% (6) 7 Hakiro Matsuoko H 14 8 5 1 61% (8) 8 Don Antonio F 12 7 5 0 58% (9=) 9 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 7 4 3 0 57% (19=) 10= The Sandman H 7 4 3 0 57% (19=) 10= Brad "Bodybag" Kinder H 17 9 7 1 56% (12) 12 Prince of Darkness H 14 6 5 3 54% (13) 13 Robski H 13 7 6 0 54% (9=) 14 Casey James H 15 7 6 2 53% (16=) 15 Simon Lebec H 15 8 7 0 53% (11) 16 Blackjack Haley H 15 6 6 3 50% (15) 17 Fisto Flash H 14 6 6 2 50% (16=) 18 Joe Latta H 13 6 6 1 50% (23) 19 The Punster F 9 4 4 1 50% (18) 20 Prisoner #109 H 5 2 2 1 50% (21) 21 Man Of Steel F 21 9 10 2 48% (14) 22 The Hangman H 9 3 4 2 44% (24) 23 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 5 1 2 2 40% (22) 24 Mr. Damage H 8 3 5 0 38% (25=) 25 Magus H 9 3 6 0 33% (25=) 26 Marty Warnett F 6 2 4 0 33% (28) 27 Sabin Figaro F 3 1 2 0 33% (27) 28 "Nuclear" John Bomber F 8 2 6 0 25% (29) 29 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The White Phoenix F 2 2 0 0 100% (30) 30 Archangel F 2 0 2 0 0% (32) 31 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Armed Forces H 9 6 2 1 72% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ High Plains Drifters H 15 11 4 0 73% (1) 1 Aces of the Deep F 3 2 1 0 66% (2) 2= The Arabian Knights H 3 2 1 0 66% (5=) 2= Stunt Team USA F 14 9 5 0 64% (3) 4 Atomic Destroyers H 10 5 4 1 55% (4) 5 Pain Inc. H 2 1 1 0 50% (11=) 6 Steamroller F 8 3 5 0 38% (7) 7 The Zodiac Connection F 3 1 2 0 33% (5=) 8 Law & Disorder F 7 1 5 1 21% (8) 9 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heavy Metal H 5 5 0 0 100% (9=) 10 Rising Sun Revolution F 4 4 0 0 100% (9=) 11 The Bill Collectors H 2 0 2 0 0% (11=) 12 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dross Report ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One of the biggest stories in the IIWF this week is the huge summit in progress at Josey Wales' ranch between Wales himself, the Senator and Brian Lau, possibly the most powerful trio that the IIWF has ever seen. Between them, these men control the High Plains Drifters, the Atomic Destroyers, the Hangman, Hakiro Matsuoko, Tiger Claw, Joe Latta, Casey "Whitebread" James, and have the ear of the Outlaw J.W. Hardin. The implications of this burgeoning alliance are clear to see, and they're very dangerous and frightening indeed. Let's go to two reports filed by Larry Morton over the past couple of days as he caught up with everybody involved: [SCENE: Larry Morton is walking around Josey Wales' ranch.] LM: Hello, everyone. I'm here at the ranch of Josey Wales where the big summit of the stables is taking place. I hear that The Senator, Josey Wales, and Brian Lau are taking a break to get a breath of fresh air and get in touch with their talent. Actually, here's Brian Lau up ahead. [Brian is sitting on a wooden fence, wearing a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and puffing on a sizable cigar] LM: Brian? Brian! Can we get some words from you? BL: Who are you and why are you bothering me? LM: I'm Larry Morton. I work for the IIWF. BL: Oh, yes... Clown boy... Well, I guess I can talk to you since Kenny is still on the plane over here. LM: Great. How are you liking it here on Mr. Wales' ranch? BL: Well, it's not exactly something I'm used to. The open plains, the beasts of burden. Beef jerky... I realize that some may wonder why I'm taking in the atmosphere. I mean, I have stated before how I despise the States, and what better represents the States than the cowboy way? I say this in response: How can you stand against something unless you have experienced it? Besides, it's one small discomfort to solidify the unity of the stables in the IIWF. Actually, look over there. Tiger Claw's getting some riding in... [Tiger Claw is seen in the distance climbing onto a horse as Pale Rider frantically warns him not to. Tiger Claw waves him off and hops on. The horse goes wild, bucking Tiger Claw off in a matter of seconds. Tiger Claw leaps up and executes a hopping punch square across the face of the horse, which falls to the ground. Pale Rider shakes his head, and Tiger Claw looks over to him, shrugging his shoulders.] BL: Ooh... Well, at least the rest of the summit isn't that shaky. LM: So things are going well? BL: Oh, yes... I just called the rest of the Syndicate today and got them to hop on the next plane down here. I see no reason why they should have to stay in shabby hotel rooms while we're being taken care of here. It's quiet here, so I'm sure that Hakiro will enjoy it. He needs his peace of mind when he teams up with Mr. Verhoeven against Chow and Musashi. I know why Musashi has a problem, but the White Phoenix is still a mystery to me. He keeps leaving notes for me in our locker rooms about justice and such. Reminds me of Casey when he used to go on about such things... LM: Joe Latta is fighting Dan Kauffman this Saturday, isn't he? BL: Yes. Two out of three rounds, no DQ, no countout, yakkety yakkety. Mr. Kauffman keeps on getting involved in our affairs, and now he's going to be taken care of. Joe's been working on his endurance for the past few months, so he'll have no problem going to the limit. I'm confident that Mr. Kauffman will go the way of Subway Psycho... Right out of the IIWF. But I want to talk about Tiger Claw's match on Saturday. He's fighting Prince Of Darkness. PoD has put his career on the line, and I'm a little disturbed. You see, PoD, I can't allow the IC belt to fall into your hands, but I also don't want to see you lose your career. You are, after all, teaming up with some of my men at Ring Wars II. This is not to say that Tiger Claw won't face you, but we'll have to figure something out about this stipulation you've put into the match. LM: Why not just take the stipulation out? BL: Contracts have already been signed, and it's hard to take stipulations out once they're put in. [A bell rings back at the ranch house.] BL: Well, Larry, it seems that it's time for me to go back to the house. The summit is underway again. LM: Okay, Brian. You know, I never would have expected that you were so civil. BL: I seem to be misunderstood... Goodbye. [Brian walks away.] LM: Well, that was a surprise. You have to wonder how a man so calm can do the things that he's done. Well, I believe that we're out of time for this segment. Perhaps I'll try and get some horseback riding in... [As if on cue, Tiger Claw comes sailing over the fence as a horse gallops by. He gets back up, dusts off his chaps, and goes to run after the horse. He sees Larry, and fakes a charge at him, yelling "BOO!" Larry jumps back, and Tiger Claw laughs at him. He then runs off after the horse, screaming "Yeeeeeee Haaaawwwww!" at the top of his lungs.] LM: Alright, I'm out of here... [Fade] After a hot afternoon on the ranch, Larry was able to catch up with some of the other wrestlers later on: [SCENE: Back at the ranch with Larry Morton.] LM: Hello again everybody! I'm here again at the ranch of the infamous Josey Wales. This place is a hotbed of activity right now. If you look behind me you'll see Easy Rider giving the IC Champion Tiger Claw riding lessons! [Tiger Claw is seen sitting on a horse. He's wearing badly fitting chaps, a vest, and a hat that seems way to big for him. Easy Rider, making one last check that Claw is comfortable upon the horse, releases the horse's rein and slaps the horse on the butt. The horse rears up slightly and trots off into the pasture. And a loud "Yeeee-Haaaa!" comes from the IC Champion as he obviously enjoys this most American way of transportation.] LM: And over in the corral, the Hangman, who seems most at home in this setting, is giving Larn and Steriod of the Atomic Destroyers, roping lessons. [Time after time the Hangman unleashes his lasso and brings down a helpless calf. Larn and Steriod seem to have more fun roping each other however.] LM: Hangman, I see that your abilities go beyond just pulling the handle at the gallows. That is some mighty fine roping.... TH: Larry, am I glad to see you. I figured with the magnitude of this meeting here at Mr. Wales' ranch, that the IIWF would send that twerp Dross here so he could start some more rumours. LM: Hangman, I feel honoured by your compliments. However, it would be unprofessional of me to pass comment on my colleague's broadcasting skills. TH: This has to be one of the greatest weekends in all of wrestling history. As you have seen we have most of the baddest dudes that any one has ever seen, and not everyone is here yet. [The Hangman and Larry Morton hear a car coming in the distance and watch it drive up to them. As the door opens we see Mr. Damage get out and walk over to TH.] Mr. Damage: Gentlemen, how are we all on this fine morning? Mr. Morton, that's a nice tie you're wearing [makes vomiting gesture]As everyone knows I'm a busy man -- causing Damage here, causing Damage there, taking on all comers. I will not take a backward step from anyone. But I always got time for my good friends. Anyway, back in Melbourne we are just coming out of Winter. This ranch sure is impressive. TH: [yelling at The Atomic Destroyers] LARN, STERIOD! GET OVER HERE! [Larn and Steriod join Morton, The Hangman, and Mr. Damage.] Larn: Good to see you could make it Mr. D.. This has got to be one of the most beautiful spots on Earth. Mr. Wales has spared no expense on putting this together. The rest of the IIWF will be in a state of shock when this comes to pass. Steriod: Life is good and is only going to get better. However it is time to eat. The roping lessons that The Hangman has given us has added a new outlook on the way we will come to the ring. IIWF be prepared, not only does The Hangman use the noose but now The Atomic Destroyers have mastered the hold and the use of the rope. LM: Joining me now is the other half of the High Plains Drifters, Pale Rider. Pale, just what is going on here? It looks like you guys are all on vacation or something. What is all this? PR: Larry this is not a vacation. This is a very serious situation right here. You see that? [He points to the house, which is locked and from which Larry Morton was refused entry.] Inside there are the three greatest minds in wrestling today. Not to mention the greatest heavyweight in the world as well. The rest of us out here are blowing off some steam and passing the time. When Josey Wales, the Senator, Brian Lau, and the Outlaw, finally come out, they will have a plan. A plan that we will take upon ourselves as our crusade. A mission of the utmost seriousness and importance. I am only a soldier awaiting my orders. They are the generals devising the plans. LM: Well, these men behind me are certainly heading towards becoming the most influential collection of athletes in the IIWF. That's all from me... back to you, Tim. [Fade] Folks, I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions about the implications of this summit. The outcome of the discussions isn't yet known, but it seems to me that if a coalition agreement is reached between these three men, the rest of the IIWF will face a battle that they almost certainly cannot win. Worrying times lie ahead, fans. Next Report ~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, folks, that just about wraps things up for today. I'll be back at you tomorrow night, along with my broadcast colleague, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, for IIWF Saturday Night, live from Chicago, Illinois, and I'll be back with another Control Centre Update on Tuesday as we head for Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Thanks for being here tonight, and until next time, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+