[Fade up on monochrome slow-motion shots of Dan Kauffman and Joe Latta in Hell's Abyss, back in the time of their friendship. Over these scenes comes a voice over:] TD: Dan Kauffman and Joe Latta -- the mentor and the student. When Joe Latta rescued Kauffman from Deathbringer [cutaway colour shots of Latta scaling the cage as Kauffman faced Deathbringer in a Texas Death Cage Match], Latta showed great promise in the ring. Promise that Dan Kauffman nurtured, making the rookie one of the hottest properties in the IIWF [cutaway colour shots of Latta in his early matches]. [The screen darkens a shade of crimson as the scenes change to Deathbringer's match with Latta. He mercifully refrains from hitting the Burial on Latta, but pins him in the middle of the ring. Latta attacks Deathbringer after the match, and is rescued by Kauffman. The shots freeze as Kauffman steps between 'Bringer and Latta.] TD: But the relationship went sour. Joe Latta believed that his mentor was holding him back, afraid of the fire that lay within. Latta believed that Kauffman wanted to smother his fire, and stand alone in the spotlight. At IIWF Ring Wars, Joe Latta turned his back on his friend, joining forces with Brian Lau and his fledgling Syndicate [shots of Latta's match with Brad Kinder and Tiger Claw's attack on Kauffman]. On June 29, Latta planted seeds of uncertainty and fury in Kauffman's head. Suddenly, Kauffman snapped! [Shots of Kauffman battering his opponents with steel chairs, using the ringsteps, the crowd barriers, the ringpost and the ropes to his advantage.] TD: Nearly four months of bitterness at his betrayal burst forth in a fury, and Kauffman was out of control. The man who was stoking the fire was Joe Latta. [Cut to shots of Kauffman and Latta brawling wildly around the ring.] Now, Kauffman says he has regained his focus. Kauffman says that he's ready for the war. And the war starts right here tonight, as Kauffman and Latta go at it one on one in a wild, best of three falls, no disqualification, no countout battle! Whose flame burns the brightest? Tonight, will Latta finally step out of the shadows, or will Kauffman condemn his former friend to darkness forever? We'll find out... _LIVE_ on IIWF Saturday Night! [A shot of Latta and Kauffman face to face shatters as the opening graphics blast through:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- LIVE * Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois Saturday 21 September 1996 [Opening graphics fade through to a shot of a brightly illuminated outdoor arena in the half-light of dusk. A huge lighting rig above the central ring swirls high-intensity spotlights in a myriad colours out into the capacity crowd. Aerial shots pan over the scenes, before cutting to the ringside enclosure and the broadcast table, at which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to Chicago, Illinois! Welcome everybody to Soldier Field! Welcome everybody to another _LIVE_ and _LOUD_ edition of IIWF Saturday Night! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me as always is "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. What a show we've got lined up tonight, Steve. SR: It's going to be a great one, Dross, that's for sure... because in the space of one evening, we're going to see that motormouth Dan Kauffman crushed by Joe Latta, the Prince of Darkness put out of the IIWF, and "Hot air" Chris Quigley and the White Phoney smashed to smithereens by Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven and Hakiro Matsuoko. I can't wait! TD: All of those eventualities are indeed possible here tonight, folks! We've got some tremendous action coming your way, including Marty Warnett taking on the lunatic, Magus, the Arabian Knights battling the Aces of the Deep in a rematch from last week's show, and the goliath Archangel going up against the crazed ex-convict, Prisoner #109! But the matches that everybody's talking about are the huge tag team match pitting Otto Verhoeven and Hakiro Matsuoko against Chris Quigley and the White Phoenix, and the Intercontinental Title match between Tiger Claw and the Prince of Darkness -- with some very special stipulations. The Prince of Darkness demanded the match, and is so confident of success that he has put his career in the IIWF on the line. If he loses to Tiger Claw tonight, he's going to be out of the IIWF for good! SR: I hate to see him go, Dross, but the Prince of Darkness has made a big mistake putting so much on the line in his match with Tiger Claw. Even though these two will be going at it one on one, with no outside interference allowed and nobody at ringside, I just can't see the PoD besting the Thai boxing legend. TD: We'll see. As Don Antonio found out not so long ago, Tiger Claw is an eminently beatable champion -- you've got to believe that the Prince of Darkness must have a gameplan in a match as vital as this. But possibly even bigger than that match is tonight's main event, pitting Dan Kauffman up against Joe Latta in a final battle to settle old scores. I caught up with Dan Kauffman just a few minutes ago in the locker room area, and this is what he had to say: [Cut to pretaped footage. Tim Dross stands backstage before the wrestling begins in the ring. Dan Kauffman stands besides Dross, wearing another new outfit, this one including a "No Fear" shirt with "A man is only a big as the dream he dares to live" written on the back.] TD: Well, Dan, tonight's the night that the war between you and former friend Joe Latta comes to its climax! I saw Joe earlier, and he has focus... he's ready. The question is, are you? DK: Have I ever _not_ been ready for a battle? TD: On a few occasions, but not for a match like this. DK: Those few occasions were when I didn't care. Well, I happen to care a great deal now, and Latta, I'm just glad that you came focused. You've got all hell waiting for you in just a few hours. I came here ready to do whatever it takes tonight, and that's still the same. Latta, Maybe this will be your night. But then, maybe this will be the night when I finally begin to unveil all my talent and drive. You see Joe, I've come up on the short end of the stick in our little war, and I don't like it. I've never liked the short end of ANYTHING, much less a battle. So Joe, be ready for a brutal, bloody war. Ring Wars may not be here yet, but who's caring anyway? TD: Dan, this no rules match really favors Latta, especially when he has the Syndicate and the rest of the Wargames group. DK: That's just how I like the odds, Tim. Don't worry. I've got things under control. [Kauffman walks out of shot. Cut back to the announcers' table, where Dross and Roberts are now seated.] SR: Under control?! We'll see how much control Kauffman has when Latta, the rest of the Syndicate, and the rest of the Wargames team, pound him into the mat. Kauffman's done for, Dross, right here tonight, and I for one can't wait to see it. TD: Kauffman certainly has a battle against the odds ahead of him tonight, particularly in the light of the burgeoning alliance between the Posse, the Senate and the Syndicate that we've been hearing about this week. Things are looking bad for Kauffman and his band of "sheriffs". SR: Kauffman and his _what_?! TD: Er... "sheriffs", Steve. [Roberts bursts out into uncontrollable laughter.] TD: What, Steve?! Oh, never mind. All that incredible action coming your way tonight, folks, but before we go up to the ring for our first live match, let's just recap on the action we've already seen before coming on the air: - "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN defeated the MASKED MARAUDER in our opening matchup. He pulled out many of his big moves in this one, and was clearly taking out his frustrations at not having beaten Billy Shakespeare for the Cruiserweight belt on Wednesday on his opponent tonight. Prisoner #109 attempted to interfere in the match, but was held back by the security team in the aisle, and Acorn went on to finish the Marauder off with his Newark Knife Texas cloverleaf. - MR. DAMAGE scored a victory over THE PUNSTER when Robski came down to the ring. The match official, having been briefed about the Punster's actions this past Wednesday, "kidnapping" Robski's girlfriend Jasmine, stepped in and tried to remove Robski from the ringside area, not realising that behind his back, the Punster had Mr. Damage down on the mat after the Pun-ch Line. The referee took such a long time getting Robski out of the enclosure that Mr. Damage was able to recover, and he pulled a foreign object out of his tights, nailing the Punster, before going for the Thunderstruck legdrop from the top rope to finish off the witty wordsmith. SR: It was about time that the Pukester got taken down a peg or two, Dross. And who would have believed what happened next?! TD: Unbelievable, Steve. Robski returned to the ring after the match as Mr. Damage made a quick exit, and grabbed the house microphone. He had some very interesting things to say. Let's go to some footage: [Cut to pre-taped footage of Robski standing over the Punster in the ring. He is holding the microphone, and punctuates his speech with kicks to the prone Punster's torso:] ROBSKI: Punster, I found it slightly ironic that you suffered at the hands of that insipid flag. The star spangled banner is a flag of a prostitute nation, as you fully know. I see you are a little upset too, can you not live with your defeat? Well, I can! [laughs] I'm not one to gloat, but my Englishness helped me more than anything else, aside from the Man of Steel's flagpole... oh, and thanks for your help, Man Of Steel, I do appreciate it. You see, Punster, me and the Man of Steel had it all set up from the start. [Huge confused heel pop] Bet you didn't realise that, mate. [Robski throws the microphone down onto the Punster and nails him with a few more kicks before leaving the ring and heading up the aisle, laughing at the jeers of the crowd. Cut back to the announcers' table.] SR: Did you hear that, Dross?! The Man Of Steel and Robski -- that's fantastic! What a true American hero... TD: Now, Steve, that's not fair. The Man Of Steel isn't here tonight to defend himself against these allegations. I'm sure it isn't true. It _can't_ be true. The Man Of Steel would never turn on this great nation. SR: Two words, Dross: Casey James. TD: I dread to think, Steve. Let's move on: - The "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI continued to wow the crowds and rise up the rankings with another victory here tonight, over unknown newcomer EL SUPER GECKO. Gecko was nimble in the ring, but even his fast pace wasn't enough to counter the lightning reactions and agility of Musashi. In the end, Musashi took Gecko down with a vicious flying kick combination and finished him off with the spectacular Starsault Press. What did you think of the Gecko, Steve? SR: This guy is a joke. He comes to the ring wearing a green lizard outfit, and he wrestles wearing a mask with spring-mounted bug eyes?! Give me a break... It's no wonder he went down to that loser, the Enema... he probably couldn't even see. What a putz. TD: Well, the fans were at least amused by the Gecko, just as they continue to be amused by one Louie the Ninja, another of the new unknowns here in the IIWF: - "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC wasted no time in taking out LOUIE THE NINJA. He merely stood on the opposite side of the ring as Louie went through the motions of a stereotyped and sloppy martial arts offense, before tripping and landing flat on his face in the ring. Lebec stepped straight in and applied the Antagonist spinning toe-hold, and the match was over in less than thirty seconds. SR: Let me get this straight, Dross -- ninjas are those Japanese dudes who dress in black, wield deadly sharp swords gilded with poison, are able to sustain huge amounts of physical pain, are said to have enhanced mental powers, and are able to move silently, stealthily and invisibly? TD: Er, yeah. SR: And this guy's one of them? TD: Well... SR: Where does that moron President of ours find these inbreds? I'm amazed that somebody with the class of Simon Lebec even lowered himself to step into the ring with somebody like this Louie the Ninja. TD: Some might say that Louie is a poor imitation of a ninja, but Simon Lebec's an even poorer imitation of an actor. SR: Do you want to say that to Lebec's face, Dross? TD: Not particularly. Let's move on: - THE BILL COLLECTORS took the ROTUNDOS to the cleaners with their most impressive IIWF display to date -- sufficiently impressive to garner themselves their first win here. They scored the win with the spectacular double-team manouevre, the Credit Check -- Ricky Matthews held the obese Rotundo in position for a side slam, and John Robbins, in an impressive display of high-flying precision, landed a moonsault on the fat man, slamming him to the mat for the pinfall. What did you make of this pairing, Steve? SR: They're a couple of really great guys, Dross. In fact, they've even offered to take a look at my tax returns for me. TD: I'd be very careful about taking them up on that offer, if I were you. Moving on: - "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON put memories of his midweek defeat far behind him as he scored a great win over SABIN FIGARO, who really isn't firing on all cylinders here in the IIWF. He looked tired and preoccupied in the ring, and his lack of focus and rhythm kept him on the wrong end of Sexton's punishing submission style wrestling. In the end, Sexton sent a clear message to IC champ Tiger Claw with a submission victory, forcing Sab to give up after an agonising two and a half minutes in the armbar submission. - STUNT TEAM USA roundly defeated STEAMROLLER in the last match before we came on air. Ron and Steve looked to be in great shape, and their tag team coordination was truly impressive as they kept Taylor in the ring, wearing him down with high-impact double-team moves and frequent tags. Despite a late resurgence from Brassow, Ron and Steve weathered the storm to score a victory using their Fire & Forget finisher. SR: That manager of theirs just cracks me up, Dross. [puts on a mock old man's voice] Verily, forsooth, noble knight, do not forget to tie thy bootlaces, or thou willst trip as one climbeth the ringsteps and fall on thine ass!" TD: That's quite enough, thank you, Steve. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Saved by the bell. Okay, folks, we're just about ready to go up to the ring for tonight's first live match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Arabian Knights vs. Aces of the Deep -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SR: Oh boy... Fish. TD: That's Aces of the Deep, Steve. SR: Just how are they going to make me flood? TD: Well, they're so intense in the ring that they'll make you, well, flood. SR: I don't even know what it looks like when _you_ flood. [The swirling spotlights come to rest on the figure of Sparkplug Lee, who adjusts his green and pink polka dot bow tie before raising his microphone to speak:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 529 lbs and hailing from DepthCity, USA, Here are Sam "Shark" Summers and Peter "Piranha" Pouls, the Aces of the Deep! [The theme from "Jaws" rumbles through the stadium, and Shark and Piranha begin to walk down the aisle. As they pass by the camera, Shark looks into it yelling "Arabian Knights, we're going to take you out again!"] SR: This guy seems to think that it was their talent that won them the match last week. TD: Well, they capitalized on an opportunity, Steve. Some would say that there's a certain talent in that. SR: Sure, someone who didn't know what talent was. RA: Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 595 lbs, hailing from Ar Riyad, Saudi Arabia, accompanied to the ring by the Grand Vizier, Prince Abdul Akbar and Omar, the Arabian Knights! [Heel pop as the team makes their way down the aisle. Omar adjusts his sash in front of the camera.] SR: Now here's some talent, Dross. TD: Come on... They won their last match by cheating the whole way through! SR: But the ref didn't see it. Case closed. TD: The Arabian Knights have got to have half an eye on the aisle in this one, Steve -- you never know when Pain Inc. might decide to take a stroll out to the ringside area, even when you have the personal assurance of their manager that they'll stay away. Let's go to some pre-taped comments from the terrible trio: [As the Arabian Knights disrobe in the ring, cut to a split screen; live action on the right, and pre-taped interview on the left, depicting the Hard Rock Cafe in Los Angeles. Mr. Mic is seated at a table with Pain Inc., who are not wearing their masks. They do, however, have the Japanese symbols for life and death on each cheek. All three are dressed in Georgio Armani suits. Various celebrities walk by and say hello to Mr. Mic: the Dodgers' catcher Mike Piazza, and Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder, just to name a couple. The camera focuses in on Mr. Mic.] Mr.Mic: Ha Ha Ha I heard the Zodiac Connection whinin' and cryin', puttin' on their "Nothing can stop us, we're the Zodiac Connection"... ha ha -- Newsflash, boys, WE DID BEAT YA!!! Now you say we won the battle but you'll win the war. Seriously Scorpio, Taurus -- your real calling is in stand-up...ha ha ha you guys are hilarious.... The battle, the war -- it doesn't matter. How many times do I have to tell everyone? It doesn't matter -- my boys will take on anybody. Enough about them... [John Travolta walks by. Mr. Mic gets up and says hello, John stops and greets Mr. Mic with a hug. They talk about a party later, John says hello to Pain Inc., who shake his hand.] Mr.Mic: See, I have everything a man could want: money, power, influential friends in Hollywood... Only one thing is missing: the IIWF tag titles -- but that will be remedied very soon. Now, like mosquitos during the summer, the 7-11 Knights are flappin' their traps yet again. Now I hear the Prat... oh sorry, the Prince, is sending Becky LaRue gifts. You better stick to wrestling, my friend... besides, what would Omar say?! [All three men laugh.] For all of you who are wondering, will Pain Inc. and I attack the Arabian Knights tomorrow night... the answer is NO. We will be in Chicago, and we will be at the match, but I will keep Pain Inc. at bay. You could say we're just taking notes! Next Wednesday, however is a totally different story. You see, a Texas Tornado match is exactly the type of match Pain Inc. likes... why? Double teaming is their speciality. They can perform the Simply Pain on the 7-11 Knights time and time again and the moronic offical can't do a damn thing about it. Enjoy Saturday night, Knights!!! I hope the Aces leave just a little for us to kick around on Wednesday night. As for you Grand Brassiere, keep lookin' over your shoulder because that shadow that's following you is ME!!!! [Cut back to live action.] TD: Gee, more extras than a Hollywood movie. SR: Pain Inc. are a team who appreciate the high-life. Unlike these fishmen... I tell you, the IIWF President was really plumbing the depths when he dredged up these two. TD: Very punny, Steve. [The bell rings as Abdul and Shark start off the match. Abdul rushes Shark, and Shark executes an armdrag takedown. Abdul gets up again and rushes again, and is taken down once more by an armdrag takedown. Abdul gets up a third time but is met by a dropkick. Shark follows up with a leg drop, and then picks the Prince up and drags him to the corner, where he tags in Piranha. Piranha slams Abdul and locks on a reverse chin lock. Abdul gets to one knee, and Piranha drives his knee into Abdul's back. Abdul goes down again and Piranha again goes for the chinlock. Abdul gets to his feet and reverses the hold into an over-the-top wristlock. Abdul tries to kick Piranha in the stomach, but it is blocked. Piranha spins Abdul around and flies forward him with a headbutt. Big pop as Abdul gets thrown backwards. He scurries to the corner and tags in Omar. Omar gets into the ring as Piranha beckons him closer.] SR: Here we go... The powerhouse of the team. It ends here. TD: That was pretty dramatic, Steve. [Omar lumbers towards Piranha, and Piranha locks a side headlock on him. Piranha goes for a bulldog, but is shoved off into the corner. Piranha hits the corner hard, and Omar follows in with a solid shoulder. Omar throws Piranha into the other corner, then runs in and grabs him, draging him to the Aces' corner. He grabs Piranha's hand and slaps Shark with it, forcing the tag. Shark comes in and Omar grabs him in a headlock. Shark throws Omar into the ropes and goes for a frankensteiner, but Omar won't go down. Try as he might, Shark can't get Omar over, so he is left dangling from Omar's neck. Omar grabs Shark and runs into the corner, in effect executing a splash. Big pop. Omar goes and tags Abdul in, then locks a full nelson on Shark. Abdul kicks Shark in the face and then goes for the pin. Omar runs over and gives Piranha a shot as the ref counts... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: Right there... The Jihad. I told you it was over when Omar got into the ring! TD: You were right, Steve. [The Arabian Kinghts walk back down the aisle with their hands held high, and Piranha runs into the ring to help his teammate to his feet.] TD: Well, Steve, I guess you were right when you said that it wasn't The Aces of the Deep that defeated the Arabian Knights... SR: Nope, it was Pain Inc. Wow! Speaking of Pain Inc... [Pain Inc. charge down the aisle to a big heel pop, and begin to fight with the Arabian Knights.] TD: Hey! Mr. Mic promised that he wouldn't interfere in this match! SR: Wake up call, Dross -- the match is over, bonehead. TD: Oh... oh yeah. [All four men are trading shots, but nobody seems to be getting the upper hand. The two teams fight all the way into the backstage area.] TD: Well... That was... Interesting. SR: Yeah... Those guys don't like each other, that much is obvious. TD: Hopefully we'll see an end to this rivalry this coming Wednesday night as the Knights and Pain Inc. battle it out in a Texas Tornado Match. It's going to be wild... just like Ring Wars II! SR: Be sure to call your local... Why do I have to do this? Everyone knows about it, it's advertised enough... TD: Becuase if we don't, then that other fed will try and get our viewers. They've already got that thing where they're saying that Billy Shakespeare and the Outlaw are coming back... SR: Oh yeah... Well, we could always just tell the fans at home the results of their matches beforehand... TD: [interrupting] Let's move swiftly on to our second match, as Archangel attempts to get his first victory in the IIWF, going up against the crazy Prisoner #109. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Archangel vs. Prisoner #109 =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SR: Oh yay... Another match with the supernatural monster. TD: That supernatural monster has been keeping an eye on the evil-doers in the IIWF, Steve. SR: Well, maybe he should concentrate on the matches at hand instead of watching "evil". TD: You have a point there, Steve. Joe Latta scored a win over Archangel without even having to put him out. [Roll footage of Archangel getting counted out as he chases the Prince of Darkness up the aisle.] Perhaps Archangel's biggest weakness is himself. SR: You know, that's funny... Hearing you call an entire person a weakness. TD: That's not what I meant, Steve. I meant... SR: Hey! Let's go down to the ring! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 280 lbs and hailing from the Department of Correction, Prisoner #109! [P109's music plays, and he walks out into the aisle. P109 looks around the crowd, who is booing him solidly. P109 seems satisfied with his once over, and he steps into the ring.] TD: I wonder what he's looking for... SR: Maybe his parole officer. I hear Prisoner #109's parole hearing didn't go that well recently. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 400 lbs and hailing from Purgatory, accompanied by his manager, Bishop Right, Aaaarrrrchangeeelllllll! [A blinding white spotlight shines on the curtain at the head of the aisle, and Archangel walks out. He seems oblivious to the crowd cheering him as Bishop Right leads him to the ring.] TD: A look of serenity on Archangel's face... SR: Soon to be a look of agony when P109 rams his fingers down his throat. [Archangel enters the ring and makes the sign of the cross in his corner, and P109 takes the opportunity to jump him from behind. P109 lashes out with elbows to the head, kicks to the gut, and punches to the face, but Archangel won't go down. P109 comes off the ropes with a jumping shoulder tackle, but Archangel still won't go down. P109 climbs to the second turnbuckle and launches a flying clotheline at the big man, but Archangel stays on his feet. Frustrated, P109 knees Archangel in the groin.] SR: If at first you don't succeed, kick him in the jewels. TD: Why am I still here? SR: I don't know... You can go on if you want. No skin off my nose. [Archangel is affected slightly by the shot, but manages to grab P109 by the throat, then executes a hard chokeslam. Big pop. A guy in a wheelchair at ringside holds up a sign that says "Judgement day has come!" and he screams "You get him, Archangel!" P109 gets to his feet slowly, and Archangel grabs him for a power bomb. P109 goes up, then comes crashing down. He rolls out of the ring, trying to regain his strength, but Archangel follows him out. P109 tries to go for a chair, but Archangel stops him and hits him with a standing clothesline. P109 clutches at his throat, and the kid in the wheelchair goes nuts. Archangel closes in on P109, who quickly latches on the Mandible Claw. The crowd pops as Archangel begins to go down. Suddenly, the kid in the wheelchair leaps over the barricade and hits P109 with a rather large stick. P109 releases the claw as he falls to the floor, and the kid takes his hat off to reveal Randy Acorn.] TD: Again Acorn comes in from the crowd! SR: This guy's the master of disguise! I love it! [Acorn hits P109 again with the stick, then leaps over the barrier again and melts into the crowd. By this time, Archangel has recovered enough to pick P109 up and roll him back into the ring. Archangel follows and comes off the ropes, hitting with a splash. Archangel then sets P109 up on the top turnbuckle. He signals for the Judgement Day Drop, and then executes it. Archangel goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: No, No! Come on, that was right in the view of the referee! Come on! TD: Well, for some reason he hasn't called for the disqualification. SR: And people say that Brian Lau has the officials payed off. We all know how much money those religious types have, maybe Bishop Right paid Daniel Spreadbury off from his televangelist earnings. TD: Stop that! I'm sure that there was no foul play as far as the officials are concerned, but I bet that Prisoner #109 will want payback after Acorn cost him yet another match. SR: I could be into seeing that. [Archangel leaves the ring and fixes a steely glare on Randy Acorn, who immediately leaves the ringside area. Bishop Right restrains Archangel and motions for him to head back to the locker room area.] TD: We'll get our chance this coming Wednesday, as those two go at it one on one for what Acorn says will be the final time. I guess tonight he was just trying to get P109 softened up a bit. SR: He's certainly succeeded. Archangel may have cottonbuds for brains, but he's still a big, powerful guy who can take it out of you. TD: That's very true, Steve. Let's talk about one of the great matches coming up later on tonight -- the big tag encounter pitting the White Phoenix and Chris Quigley against Otto Verhoeven and Hakiro Matsuoko. SR: What's there to talk about, Dross? The Butcher and Hakiro are going to make mincemeat out of that puny partnership. TD: I don't know about that, Steve. Let's get commentary from the White Phoenix, Shinja Chow: [Cut to the White Phoenix, seated inside a dojo. It is dark except for a small fire in a brazier in front of him.] WP: Finally, my time is coming. I waited many years to seek vengance, to redress the injustice that was done to me. And now, it is so close. Brian Lau, I shall... But that can wait. First, I'd like to thank Dan Kauffman for allowing me to join his team at War Games. It is truly an honor to be fighting with such a team of great warriors, and it will indeed be glorious to defeat seven of the most disreputable fools in the IIWF at one time. I must admit, I was a bit worried when you came to the ring during my match with that... interesting... Louis the Ninja. I didn't know what you had in mind. Chris Quigley, I meant what I said about helping you. I apologize that I was unable to come to your aid during your recent match with Otto Verhoeven. I was indisposed due to a mixup in travel plans. I promise, though, that I will make up for it in our match with Otto and Hakiro Matsuoko. Sun Angel, you disappoint me. I see such potential in you, yet you have chosen the easy path of dishonor. It pains me to have to destroy you, but you shall fall, for you are of the Syndicate. Now, to you, Brian Lau. You act as if you don't know what I speak of. Think to your past, Lau. Think to the past before yours. Sins of the father.... but look upon this.... [He picks a small piece of cardboard off the ground and holds it in the light. It is a picture of a collapsing tower, with flames shooting out the windows and people leaping to the ground: the Tarot card, The Tower.] A beautiful image, is it not? Fire destroying structure that has become corrupt. Think upon this, Brian Lau, as you watch my fire consume what you have wrought. Think upon this as your alliance tears itself apart. It won't be long, now. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Wow. Strong words from the White Phoenix, and possibly a prophecy. SR: This guy's almost as full of himself as Quigley. They'll make a great team. What does the Phoney think he's got on Brian Lau anyway? TD: I really don't know, Steve... although I'm sure we'll be hearing more about it in the weeks to come. That great tag match still to come here tonight, folks, but right now we've got to get back to the ring for our next encounter -- Marty Warnett taking on Magus. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Marty Warnett vs. Magus =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The rookie is really impressing me with his courage lately. He's faced the Outlaw, and now he's facing that maniac Magus. SR: It's not courage, Dross, it's stupidity. Why would anyone want to face one demon after another like that? Didn't he get beaten badly enough by Hardin? TD: Warnett wants to face the best in the IIWF, Steve. That's something to respect. SR: He should start with Louie the Ninja instead of going right after the cream of the crop. TD: Louie the Ninja? He'd give Hardin a run for his money, I'm sure! SR: Yeah, okay... Sure. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 303 lbs, here is Maaaaaguuuussss! [Magus sprints down to the ring, and looks under the apron. He climbs underneath, and then comes out the other side. Magus runs over to the broadcast booth and paws at Steve Roberts' jacket before hopping into the ring.] SR: Wha!? That freak, what the hell was that? This is an expensive jacket! TD: Maybe he smelled some milkbone in there, Steve... You never know. SR: No, Dross, he pawed _my_ jacket, not yours... RA: His opponent, hailing from Cardiff, Wales and weighing in at 245lbs, here is the Party Maniac: Maaaarrrrrtyyyyyyy Waaaaaarrrrrneeeeeett! ["Cold Gin" blasts over the speakers, and Marty Warnett comes down the aisle air-guitaring to the song. The young girls in the crowd almost faint in their excitement as he walks by.] SR: Now _there's_ something we want an abundance of in the IIWF, known paedophiles. TD: Oh, come _on_, Steve! The kids just like him, that's all... SR: Yeah, I bet they _like_ him, and I bet he _likes_ them, too. TD: Please stop! You're going to get us taken off the air with talk like that. [The two men get into the ring, and the ref calls for the bell. Magus hears it, and starts running around the ring as fast as he can. Marty just stands there, watching him go around and around. The ref moves to stop Magus, but then realizes there's no rule against it, so he just shrugs towards Marty, who shrugs back. Magus takes the opportunity to down Warnett with a clothesline.] SR: You see that? You've got to wonder if Magus is actually crazy or if he's a genius. TD: I just think he's crazy. SR: On closer inspection, I think you're right. [Magus follows up with a few high impact moves... Powerbomb, bodyslam, Vertical Suplex. He then tries to drop a leg, but Warnett rolls out of the way and kips up. Warnett hits Magus with a clothesline of his own, then executes a drop kick to knock the big man down. Marty showboats to the crowd, and they give a good pop. Warnett picks Magus up and throws him into the ropes, and executes a flying headscissors on the rebound. A heel pop is heard as Simon Lebec begins to walk down the aisle. Warnett doesn't notice, and locks a headlock onto Magus, who throws Warnett into the ropes.] TD: Oh-oh... here comes trouble. SR: Yeah, and trouble with a capital "T", Dross. Warnett's had it now! [Magus hits a side slam, and then lays some forearm shots into Warnett's head. Magus then sets Warnett up on the second rope facing the aisle, and runs off the opposite ropes to land on Warnett's back. Warnett is dazed, and Lebec moves in front of him, going into his jacket. He pulls out a pair of scissors and shows them to the crowd, then clips off a lock of Warnett's hair. Warnett realizes what has been done and goes nuts. Lebec runs back up the aisle flaunting his new trophy as he runs. Magus goes to land on Warnett again in the ring, but Warnett senses it and moves. Warnett goes to town on Magus, kicking him repeatedly in the ribs.] TD: Wow! look at Warnett go! I think that lock of hair set him off! SR: You know these rockers, Dross... They seem to think their hair is sacred, when it's actually just greasy. [Warnett picks Magus up in a knee breaker, then slaps on his figure four leglock. The ref moves over to Magus to see if he submits, but Magus is too busy flailing around and drooling on himself. Magus jabbers on and on, saying nothing, which the ref takes as an "I quit" and calls for the bell. The ref tries to bet Marty to let go of the leg lock, but he refuses. The bell rings repeatedly to try and get Warnett to let go, but he won't. Finally, after much coaxing, Warnett let's it go and gets up, raising his arms. He checks the missing lock of hair on his head, and seems to get a little more upset. He hops out of the ring and runs up the aisle screaming, "LEBEC!!! LEBEC!!!"] TD: Well, I guess we know how to get on Marty's bad side. SR: Yeah... Look at his left profile. That bald spot looks a lot like yours, Dross. TD: Steve, will you lay off my hair? What is it with you? SR: It's simple, Dross. I've got hair. _Real_ hair. You don't. That makes me better than you. Hey, I tell you what, you'd better give Warnett the name of your wigmaker -- after Ring Wars II he's gonna need it! TD: Can't we just leave my hair out of this?! SR: Why can't some men just grow old gracefully, huh? You're so vain, Dross. TD: Oh, I give up. Okay, let's move on to tonight's big tag team attraction. What a battle this one's going to be -- "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley and the White Phoenix going up against Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven and Hakiro Matsuoko. SR: I can't wait! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The White Phoenix & "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven & Hakiro Matsuoko =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: This match is going to be a real fight. Three of these four men are in the Wargames match at Ring Wars II, and I dare say that all four are easily in the top tier of talent in the IIWF. SR: Well, two of the four are, Dross. Matsuoko is an ex-Intercontinental champion, and has a new direction. Herr Verhoeven has an incredible win/loss record since entering the IIWF. Shinja Chow has been lucky so far, and Quigley knows how to talk, and that's about it. In addition, Matsuoko and Verhoeven have two other advantages, namely Brian Lau and Nurse Heidi. TD: You might have a point about those assets, Steve, but I think you're way off the mark with Chow and Quigley. Chow is electric - no, _pyrotechnic_ - in the ring, and Quigley is a great representation of the new blood of professional wrestling. SR: Great. If he's the way of the future, then we're in for a lot more talking and a lot less action... RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this special tag team bout is scheduled for one fall, accompanied to the ring by managers Nurse Heidi and Brian Lau, "The Butcher" Otto Verhoeven and "The Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko!! [The theme from "Halloween" accented with Kodo Drums begins to play, and the lights drop. A large spotlight picks out Verhoeven and Matsuoko heading down the aisle, led by Heidi and Lau. Fireworks on the crowd barriers go off as the men pass them, making it look like they leave a trail of fire behind them. The crowd boos them, but the group acts as if they're well-loved by the public.] TD: They're mocking the audience, Steve... SR: Good for them. The audience deserves some mocking, I think. It gives them a sense of humility... What am I saying? I'd be humiliated just being associated with some of the people here! TD: One thing I have to admit, though, Steve, is that Matsuoko has quite an impressive entrance. SR: One of the best in the business, Dross. RA: And their opponents, two members of Dan Kauffman's Wargames team, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley and "The White Phoenix" Shinja Chow! [The crowd pops as the lights go out and a gong sounds. Near the head of the aisle, flames begin to erupt, and the shape of a bird forms in the flame. Shinja Chow and Chris Quigley stand in the centre of the form with their arms raised, and the crowd goes wild.] TD: I think the title of "Best entrance in the business" might be leaning toward Shinja Chow, Steve. SR: Egomaniacs, that's all they are... [The team makes their way down the aisle, slapping hands of the fans as they do. They reach the ring, and Verhoeven and Matsuoko spill out as rocket flares shoot up from the ring. Finally, the flares stop and the lights come up, and the team of Verhoeven and Matsuoko re-enter the ring.] TD: Here we go. it appears that Matsuoko and Quigley are going to start things up in this match. SR: Too bad. I was looking forward to seeing Verhoeven squash Quigley like a cricket. [The bell sounds, and Quigley and Matsuoko circle each other in the middle of the ring. The two lock up, and Matsuoko goes behind for a Hammerlock/Half Nelson hold. Quigley squirms around to get free, but Matsuoko trips him, causing Quigley to drop face first into the mat. Quigley rolls to the corner, checking his nose. Matsuoko steps towards him, taunting him to try again. Quigley calmly gets up and the two men lock up again. Quigley turns it into a side headlock, and Matsuoko immediately tosses Quigley into the ropes. On the rebound, Matsuoko hits with a quick forearm into the stomach, and then executes a flip-kick, catching Quigley in the face. Quigley is thrown back, and Matsuoko showboats to the crowd.] TD: Quigley is having a problem mounting an offence against Matsuoko here. SR: I'm not surprised. Matsuoko spent his entire life molding his body into a weapon. It's only natural that he's good at it. [Quigley again gets up and tries to surprise Matsuoko with a thrust kick, but Matsuoko catches it and kicks Quigley's other leg out from under him. Quigley goes down, and Matsuoko picks him up and throws him into the corner next to Chow. Matsuoko shouts at Quigley to tag in Chow. Quigley does, and Chow leaps into the ring. The two martial artists assume fighting stance and measure each other up. Matsuoko goes for a right jab, Chow blocks and gives a right jab of his own, which is also blocked. Hakiro comes up under Chow's arm with a right uppercut, but it is caught by Chow who slaps Matsuoko across the face with a backhand. Matsuoko steps back and stares at Chow icily, who stays in his stance.] TD: Whoa! What an exchange that was! I think Chow got Matsuoko's attention there! SR: But does Chow really want it? I wouldn't want to be on Matsuoko's bad side. [Again the two men square off, and Matsuoko again begins with a jab, which is blocked, but this time, Matsuoko ties Chow's blocking arm up and executes a crescent kick towards Chow's head, but Chow catches Hakiro's foot with his other hand. Chow then applies pressure to the back of Matsuoko's knee, forcing him to the ground. Chow then quickly locks on an STF. Matsuoko shouts in pain, and tries to drag himself over to the ropes, but Chow hangs on and keeps Matsuoko in place. behind the two, Heidi jumps onto the ring apron, distracting the ref, and Lau throws a bit of salt in Chow's eyes. Quigley sees this, and leaps into the ring, causing the ref to go over and stop him. Chow has released the STF, and rolls around holding his face. Hakiro limps to his corner and tags in Verhoeven, who eagerly picks up Chow in a powerbomb. The smaller man hits the canvas hard, and Verhoeven goes over to taunt Quigley. Quigley moves to slap him, and the ref quickly steps in.] TD: If Quigley's not careful, he's going to lose the match for his team here! SR: There's a good reason why Quigley's a singles wrestler. His ego's too big to consider a team mate. [Verhoeven throws Chow into a neutral corner and again goes at Quigley. The ref steps in, giving Hakiro the chance to run across the apron with a clothesline. Chow gets labelled, and Hakiro jumps to the top rope behind him. Matsuoko grabs Chow's head and flips over him, still holding the head. Matsuoko then uses the momentum to execute a snapmare that sends Chow flying into the referee. The ref goes down, and Quigley looks to the crowd, then jumps over the top rope onto Verhoeven. The crowd pops as Quigley rains punches all over Verhoeven, causing the big man to fall to the canvas, where Quigley continues to pucnh away. Matsuoko turns from beating on Chow to gesture to the locker room area. The Sandman and Prince of Darkness run to the ring, and Brian Lau steps up on the apron and gives Heidi a helping hand. In the ring, Matsuoko lets loose a flying kick into the side of Quigley's head. Quigley falls to the mat as Sandman and PoD enter the ring. Heidi runs over to the prone Quigley and locks on a crossface chickenwing as Lau steps over to Chow and begins to lay the boots to him.] TD: This is chaos! And the ref isn't seeing any of it! SR: Quigley and Chow are finished... [Sandman and PoD help Lau beat on Chow. Meanwhile, Quigley is pulled up to his feet in the crossface chickenwing as Verhoeven slaps him in the face. The ref begins to stir, and Lau notices him. Lau signals to the rest of the men to leave the ring, and PoD and Sandman drag Chow out. Heidi releases her hold, and both her and Lau leave the ring. Verhoeven puts Quigley into a cradle and the ref crawls over to make a slow count... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding! Ding! On the outside, Matsuoko, Sandman, and PoD beat on Chow for a while, and on the inside, the ref raises Verhoeven's hand. Verhoeven leaves the ring and gets patted on the back by Lau. Heidi, Lau, and Verhoeven go over and collect PoD, Sandman, and Matsuoko. They all walk up the aisle, celebrating.] TD: This is disgusting. Verhoeven and Matsuoko get the win. SR: I told you that Heidi and Lau would come into play in this match. Look at Quigley and the "Downed Phoenix". They're out cold! [Dan Kauffman and Takezo Musashi run down to the ring and tend to Chow and Quigley.] TD: Well, at least they'll have some help from some upstanding people... SR: Yeah, all the losers can help each other. You're going to see more of the same at Ring Wars II, I guarantee it. I can hardly wait. TD: Only if you order this great event, folks! Get in touch with your local cable operator right away to preorder Ring Wars II... it's going to be a classic! Before we go up to the ring once more for tonight's huge Intercontinental Championship match, let's hear from the IIWF President, who has some comments for us, recorded earlier today: [Cut to the IIWF President's office. President Dan Spreadbury sits behind his desk, which is covered in papers. He removes his spectacles, puts down his pen, and speaks:] DS: I'm here tonight to make a couple of important announcements. Firstly, contracts are close to being signed for the final matches on the card for Ring Wars II, and I'll bring you details of the completed lineup in the very near future. The main reason for my being here, however, is to announce a very special match to be held on IIWF Midweek Mayhem on October 9, live from the McNichols Arena, Denver, Colorado. As you will all be aware, this is the last live IIWF event before Ring Wars II, and as such, I have sanctioned a spectacular Battle Lines Battle Royal to take place on that card. It will be an over-the-top-rope rules match, featuring fourteen of the IIWF's top-ranked athletes as they compete for the right to face whomever the IIWF Champion may be, whether it is Deathbringer or the Outlaw J.W. Hardin, on the first card after Ring Wars II, which will be the following Saturday Night, October 19, live from the IIWF Coliseum. The winner of this match will, effectively, become the number one contender for the IIWF Championship, so the stakes are high. Watch out for announcements concerning the participants of this fantastic match in the coming two weeks. Thanks very much for listening. That's all from me -- back to you at ringside, Tim and Steve. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Wow... big news straight from the IIWF President. A Battle Lines Battle Royal, Steve -- what do you think? SR: I think it's a great idea, particularly because it'll give Casey James and his team a chance to beat the snot out of the opposition before they even get to Wargames. What a fantastic idea! TD: Well, you can bet that people are going to jump at the chance for a shot at the IIWF Champion, but only the top fourteen IIWF superstars will be entered into the match. That's got to be an added incentive for the athletes to perform to the best of their abilities in the next couple of weeks. Anyway, right now we've got to go back up to the ring for our next match, and this one could end the career of the Prince of Darkness. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. Prince of Darkness ----------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee taps the microphone to test it before speaking:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship! [Pop] However, a stipulation has been added by the challenger: if the challenger loses this match, he will retire from the IIWF! [Bigger pop] Introducing first, the challenger, coming down the aisle, hailing from parts unknown and weighing in at 319lbs, here is the Prince of Darkness! [Big heel pop for the PoD as he makes his way down to the ring in the subdued crimson lighting cast into the aisle by the huge lighting rig. Special gel filters project flames onto the canvas of the ring, and as the Prince steps between the ropes, his torso glows with the deep oranges and reds of the inferno.] TD: Wow. What an imposing figure. He sure doesn't look like a guy ready to give up his career just yet. SR: No, he does not. But you've got to remember, Dross, that no matter what a great wrestler he is, he demanded those stipulations, and Tiger Claw is going to make him regret his rashness. You can bet on it. TD: Just to remind the folks at home, there will be no outside interference in this match. A large security contingent has been placed at the head of the aisle, and they'll make sure that nobody -- not even the wrestlers' managers -- make their way to ringside for this one. RA: And introducing the champion! Coming down the aisle, weighing in at 220lbs, hailing from Thailand, here is: Tiger Claw! [Huge heel pop for Claw as he appears at the head of the aisle, the IC belt slung over his shoulder. The chaotic mix of drums and bells that accompanies his entrance reaches a crescendo as Claw climbs the ringsteps, and he turns to hand the belt to a ringside attendant. PoD charges Claw, but Claw senses the attack, and sidesteps, shoving the Prince into the turnbuckles with force.] TD: I guess that sneak attack just wasn't sneaky enough. SR: There's nobody in the IIWF quicker than Tiger Claw, more agile than Tiger Claw, and more dangerous than Tiger Claw. No, scratch that last parts. The chefs in the IIWF Cafeteria are more dangerous than Tiger Claw. [Claw spins PoD around and begins pummelling him with his knee fury. He takes a step backwards at the referee's bequest, expecting the PoD to stagger out of the corner, but he is shocked as the Prince charges out like a juggernaut and nearly takes Claw's head off with a vicious lariat. He drops an elbow on Claw, then drags him to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He catches Claw in a powerslam, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: Wow! There's the Prince's unparalleled resilience rearing its head early on. Claw could be in big trouble -- the last thing he wants right now is to let the PoD dictate the pace of the match. He can't sustain too many bumps like that. [PoD drags Claw to his feet again and once more whips him to the ropes. He grabs Claw by the throat as he comes back at him, and executes a devastating chokeslam. Claw's body ricochets off the mat with the force of the impact, and PoD stands above the fallen champion, showboating to the crowd. They give him a mixed pop. PoD wastes a few valuable seconds before going for another cover - 1 - 2 - Claw narrowly kicks out! PoD once more drags him to his feet, and attempts his Misery Drop spinebuster... but Claw scissors the PoD's head and executes a stunning takedown, sending the PoD flying over the top rope to the outside! Big pop!] TD: Where on earth did Claw get the strength to headscissors a 300lbs-plus man out of the ring?! SR: That is one of the things that makes Claw such a formidable opponent, Dross. You give him an inch, and he'll take the whole nine yards. TD: Er... he'll take a mile, surely, Steve. You're mixing your metaphors. SR: Don't you mince proverbs with me, Dross. Too many toupees spoil the broth, don't forget. TD: Sure, Steve. Whatever you say. [Claw catapults himself over the top rope at the PoD, but the Prince rolls out of the way, and Claw careers into the steel crowd barriers with a sickening clang. The referee lays the count on both men - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - PoD gets to his feet and drags Claw back to a vertical base. He whips Claw along the ringside enclosure, and the champion hits the steel ringsteps with force. PoD follows him round, and whips him along a second side of the ring. This time, Claw clatters into the crowd barriers once more. The referee jumps from the ring and tries to keep the PoD away from Claw. The Dark Prince simply pushes the official aside and continues his assault on the champion.] TD: That's a disqualification offence right there! No wrestler can lay hands on a match official! SR: Keep your wig on, Dross. The referee knows how much is at stake here. How would you like to have your career ended by a disqualification? TD: Well, I wouldn't. But that's no excuse for roughing up a referee. SR: Hey, who needs an excuse? [PoD finally rolls Claw back into the ring and covers him. The referee is out of position, picking himself up from the padding outside the ring, and takes a few moments sliding back under the bottom rope. He makes a count - 1 - 2 -- Claw again somehow kicks out! The PoD immediately starts arguing with the referee, claiming a slow count. The official waves away PoD's protests, and PoD turns back to face Claw, only to be knocked off his feet by a tremendous spinning leg lariat from the champion. Big pop! Both men are laid out in the ring, and the referee again starts the count - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - PoD stirs and gets up onto one knee - Claw is breathing heavily and exhausted on the mat.] TD: These two guys are giving it their all here tonight! Claw's finally getting to his feet... [PoD swipes at Claw with a wild right fist, and Claw ducks under the attempt. He blocks a second punch, and fires back with a palm thrust to the PoD's face, catching his nose, which begins to bleed profusely. PoD staggers backwards, pain shooting through his face, and Claw leaps at his opponent and takes him off his feet with a spinning round shin kick. He goes for the cover - 1 - PoD kicks out with authority! Claw stays right on top of the challenger, and forces him into the corner once more. He launches a vicious punching fury combo on PoD's upper body and head, and the referee calls for the break. Claw hops backwards, half-expecting another clothesline from the big man, but this time, PoD staggers forwards and crashes to the mat. Pop! Claw goes to the corner and climbs the buckles before launching himself with a reverse splash attempt onto his opponent. PoD rolls out of the way, however, and Claw crashes to the mat.] TD: Twice Claw has gone for a high-risk aerial manoeuvre, and twice it's backfired. He needs to stay down on the mat and use those feet and fists of his to their best advantage. SR: Dross the tactician, huh? What would you know about being in the ring, toupee boy? In the heat of battle, when all you want to do is put your opponent away -- particularly when he's a big guy who wants your title -- you'll take risks. Simple as that. Claw's been unlucky in this match, but if he hits just one of those moves, it's over for the PoD, and Claw can hang in there all night. [PoD hauls Claw to his feet and hoists him up so that he is seated on the top turnbuckle, then climbs the buckles himself, dragging Claw up so that both men are standing on the top buckle! Cameras flash throughout the gathered fans as the two athletes jockey for control of the situation. Suddenly, Claw lashes out with an elbow, which causes PoD to overbalance, and he tumbles backwards from the buckle, landing awkwardly in the ring. Claw also falls, so that he is straddling the top buckle.] TD: Looks like the champion will be singing a few octaves higher in the shower for a while, Steve. SR: Plumbing the depths of inanity as always, Dross. [The crowd are on their feet as Claw slowly pushes himself back to his feet on the top turnbuckle. PoD still lies sprawled on the canvas as Claw readies himself for the Golden Tiger Strike. Cameras flash all over Soldier Field as Claw crashes down on the PoD! Huge pop! Claw makes the cover - 1 - 2 - PoD gets his foot on the bottom rope, but the official doesn't see it - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The referee raises Tiger Claw's arm as the crowd erupts with a huge heel pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and _still_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion: Tiger Claw! [There is a commotion in the aisle as Brian Lau pushes past the security guards and makes his way to the ring to congratulate Tiger Claw. PoD gets to his feet and begins arguing animatedly with the match official, reenacting his foot going onto the ropes, but the referee is having none of it. Lau grabs the IC belt from the timekeeper's table and drags Claw quickly back up the aisle.] TD: Lau's trying to get off the scene as quickly as possible here. I'm sure he doesn't want a confrontation with his supposed "allies", the Dark Knights. The implications of this result are huge, Steve. We all know that the decision of an IIWF match official is final, and that means that the Prince of Darkness is on his way out of the IIWF. Unbelievable. SR: It's a rough kind of justice here in the IIWF... but if the Prince had the energy to get his foot on the ropes, he should have kicked out. As it is, he's going to have a long time to think about what might have been. So long, Prince... it's been fun. TD: Hang on! Here comes the Sandman! [The Sandman and Dr. Faustus burst out into the aisle as Lau tries to escape with Tiger Claw. The Dark Knights stop Lau in his tracks and begin berating him. Lau holds up his hands, as if to say that it's not his fault, and Claw steps in front of him. Dr. Faustus pushes the Sandman away, allowing Lau and the champion to continue back up the aisle, and head down to the ring, where PoD is winding up to strike the official in his rage. Sandman tries to restrain him, but PoD executes the Misery Drop on the referee, and lays into him with kicks. Finally, together Faustus and the Sandman drag PoD away and out of the ring as a medical team dashes down to the ringside enclosure.] TD: What a heinous attack on the official! Well, the Dark Knights are truly in tatters now... what a way to go. If this display of viciousness is the last thing we'll see from the Prince of Darkness, it's an abiding vision indeed. SR: I don't blame the Prince of Darkness at all for beating the snot out of the official, but it's not going to change anything. It's over, PoD -- walk away. [The Sandman and Dr. Faustus, clearly beside themselves, drag a still fuming Prince of Darkness back up the aisle towards the locker rooms. The crowd chants "Bye - Bye - P - O - D! Bye - bye - P - O - D!" which just infuriates the Knights even more, and they storm out of sight.] TD: What a tremendous match that was. I don't think the IIWF's fans will miss the Prince, Steve. SR: I certainly will. What would these morons know about talent anyway? They say that the only thing meaner than the mean streets of Chicago is the intelligence distribution around these inbreds. You know, it's a wonder that they even had the intelligence to make it out of their slummy little homes and come to the Field here tonight. TD: That's quite enough, thankyou, Steve. Well, folks, we're heading straight onto tonight's main event -- a wild best of three falls, no countout, no disqualification match between Joe Latta and Dan Kauffman. This one's going to be chaos, fans. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- BEST OF THREE FALLS, NO COUNTOUT, NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dan Kauffman vs. Joe Latta ------------------------------------------------------------ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is tonight's main event, and it is a special best of three falls, no countout, no disqualification match! [Big pop!] Introducing first, coming down the aisle accompanied by Brian Lau, representing the Syndicate, hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland and weighing in at 265lbs, here is: Jooooeeee Laaataaaa! [Big heel pop as Lau leads Latta down to the ring. In the bright lights of the ring's rig, he looks focused and ready for the match of his life.] RA: And introducing his opponent. [Huge pop as "Call the Man" starts up over the PA.] Coming down the aisle, hailing from Hagerstown, Mary-- [Sparkplug is cut off as Latta storms down the aisle and attacks Kauffman before he even gets to the ring. The two men engage in a heated slugfest, and Kauffman holds his own until Latta drives a low blow into Kauffman's groin. Big heel pop as Kauffman doubles over, and Latta hoists Dan up over his head for a press slam. Latta drops Kauffman throat-first onto the steel crowd railing. Another huge heel pop!] SR: Look at Latta go, Dross! He wasn't joking when he said that Kauffman was holding him back. This is great! TD: I know this is a match with no rules, but that kind of bump can shorten your career... Look at Kauffman down there. He can't even breathe! SR: And if he can't breathe, he can't talk, Dross! This just keeps getting better and better! [Latta drags Kauffman to his feet and throws him down the aisle, making sure that he whacks him on every obstacle on the way. He smashes Kauffman against the steel ringsteps and the ring apron, before grabbing a steel chair from beside the timekeeper's table and labelling Kauffman across the back and across the head with it, bending the flimsy chair out of shape. The crowd are on their feet, some watching Kauffman's agonised face on the live relay video wall at the head of the aisle, some watching the action in the ringside enclosure.] TD: Kauffman hasn't got any offense in here at all, Steve. This is looking very bad for Dan. SR: But it's looking great for the rest of us! Come on, Latta, finish the job! [Latta drags Kauffman to his knees, and then to his feet. Kauffman flails with a couple of wild swings, but Latta easily avoids the unaimed throws. He kicks Kauffman in the midsection and drags him to the corner of the enclosure where the timekeeper's table stands. Latta executes a devastating tilt-a-whirl powerbomb on Kauffman, slamming him through the table, which shatters! Huge pop!] TD: Oh, heavens! That's it! Kauffman's out! The referee ought to stop this match. He's got to be unconscious! [Amazingly, Kauffman tries to haul himself from the carnage as Latta receives more instructions from Brian Lau. Latta picks Kauffman up and rolls him into the ring, and follows, dropping a leg across his prone former friend before going for the pin -- 1 - 2 - 3! Ding!] RA: The winner of the first fall: Joe Latta! [Big heel pop! The referee tries to get a look at Kauffman to see whether he is fit to continue, but Latta launches straight back in with another assault. He relents when there is a huge pop from the crowd, and a spotlight picks out Chris Quigley making his way down the aisle.] TD: Here comes some help for Kauffman. Quigley's got to buy time for Dan, or we could see his career ended tonight. SR: Get Quigley away from here. He's got no business being around ringside for this match! [Latta stands at the ropes, beckoning to Quigley to come on and get some. The two engage in a slanging match, and Latta is unaware that Kauffman is stirring behind him. Huge pop as Kauffman grabs Latta in an inside cradle from behind -- the referee is in position - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Massive pop!] RA: [shouting] The winner of the second fall, Dan Kauffman! [Latta flies into a rage and begins beating Kauffman once more.] TD: In an instant, the price of turning your back on an opponent is apparent for all to see. Kauffman's evened things up just like that! SR: I can't believe it! Kauffman hasn't landed a blow on Latta in the entire match, and Kauffman's managed to _pin_ Latta?! It's Quigley's fault! [As if on cue, Otto Verhoeven appears in the aisle and makes his way down to the ring, immediately sparking a confrontation with Quigley on the outside. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Latta whips Kauffman into the ropes. Dan ducks under a clothesline and fires back with a flying clothesline attempt of his own. Latta goes down, and Kauffman slumps to the mat too.] TD: That early assault has taken it out of Kauffman. I don't know whether he's got enough left to get through this match. Look at Quigley and Verhoeven -- we've got an explosive situation here. [Quigley and Verhoeven stand eye to eye on the outside, exchanging insults. Quigley takes the first swipe at the Butcher, and Verhoeven fires back, knocking Quigley to the floor. The Teutonic terror launches in with kicks and throws, battering Quigley all over the ringside area, forcing the referee to leave the ring and try to separate the warring factions. Meanwhile, in the ring, Latta regains control, hitting Kauffman with a big powerslam. He drags Dan to his feet and executes his Shotgun Suplex. He makes the cover, but the official is on the outside. Brian Lau gets up on the apron and makes the count himself behind Latta, who believes he has won the match. He gets up and raises his arms in victory, and is knocked to the mat by the White Phoenix, who has flown down the aisle, along with the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi. Huge pop!] SR: This is ridiculous, Dross! How many more of the seven dwarves is Kauffman going to bring down to the ring?! TD: This match has no rules, Steve. Anything goes! Hang on -- here come Tiger Claw and Casey James! [The crowd jeers loudly as the IC champ and "Blackheart" run down the aisle to the aid of Latta. Casey immediately goes for Quigley, and Claw attacks the White Phoenix. The official turns back to the ring, and tries to force the illegal men out of the squared circle. Latta and Kauffman both lie exhausted on the mat, and the referee checks on both athletes to see whether they are able to continue. Eventually, with the war still raging on the outside, Kauffman and Latta both stir and get to their feet. A slugfest in the centre of the ring begins, with Kauffman getting the upper hand, hitting Latta with a low blow. He rakes Latta's eyes across the ropes, and whips him across the ring. He executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on his stunned opponent, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Verhoeven slides into the ring and makes the save! Kauffman fights to his feet and defends himself from the Butcher, but Tiger Claw attacks from behind, and Kauffman is beaten down before the referee can get the illegal men out of the ring.] TD: I would not want to be the official in a match like this. Chaos reigns out here! SR: Just the way we like it, Dross! TD: Hang on -- apparently, there's a disturbance at the perimeter of the Field... a man on a horse. We're trying to get a camera over there as I speak. SR: Save yourself the bother, Dross. I can tell you what's happening -- the Outlaw J.W. Hardin is here! This is unbelievable! TD: It certainly is! Let's hope security can keep him away from the ring. [Latta hoists Kauffman up onto the top rope and climbs up with him, preparing for his patented belly-to-back superplex. He attempts the move, and Kauffman blocks the lift, hooking his feet under the top turnbuckle. Latta labels Kauffman with a couple more punches before trying again, and this time, he lifts Dan -- but Kauffman shifts his weight in midair and lands hard on Latta! Kauffman hooks Latta's legs as the referee counts - 1 - 2 - various bodies spill into the ring - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop as chaos breaks out inside the ring, and the referee bails out.] RA: [shouting] Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the third fall, and the winner of the match two falls to one, Dan Kauffman! [An all-out brawl erupts in the ring once more.] SR: I can't believe it, Dross! Latta had it sewn up and Kauffman manages to counter a superplex! TD: Don't forget who taught Latta that superplex, Steve -- Dan Kauffman. The student still has a little bit to learn. Hang on -- I hear that the Outlaw is approaching the ringside enclosure! This spells trouble in a big way! [Gradually, Dan Kauffman's allies surround his prone form in the ring as Brian Lau's men drag Latta out under the bottom rope and throw threats up at their enemies. The brawl has come to a halt when the crowd explodes with a huge heel pop as a spotlight finds the Outlaw in the crowd, knocking fans out of the way as he makes his way to the enclosure. He steps over the barrier and up to the ring. Hardin snatches the microphone away from Sparkplug Lee and speaks as a hush falls over the fans and the entrenched wrestlers.] JWH: Wargames. War isn't a game. Kauffman, you and your allies might think you've won this battle, but you simply don't know what you're up against. You think you're on the right side. You think it's so simple, a battle of good against evil, black and white. Allow me to take you into the realm of all those shades of grey. You and me, this Wednesday, one on one in the ring. Bring your allies. Bring everything you have. I'll show you that war isn't a game. [With that, Hardin throws down the microphone and walks away, leaving a still exhausted Kauffman in the ring, his chest still heaving, supported by Quigley, Chow and the Enigma. He motions for the microphone, and shouts after Hardin, who turns in the aisle.] DK: Hardin! You try in vain to prove that you are pure evil. You try to intimidate and terrorize other fellow wrestlers into allowing you the power you wish for. You always attack from behind, and viciously take apart all control and order. You create chaos. That is what you want. You see these three men, Outlaw? [motions to the men who stand with him in the ring] Perhaps you assume that these three possess no real threat to you and your plan. But these men share my belief... that in order for you to be stopped, they must join with me in combatting your force. You started this war. And you have no idea what you've begun. I'll be there on Wednesday, because we... will... never... give... in! [Big pop as Kauffman throws down the microphone in defiance, but Hardin merely shakes his head and laughs before heading up the aisle. The spotlight following the Outlaw shuts off as he disappears back into the locker rooms. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: Wow, things are really hotting up here, folks! We're right out of time, but what a turn things have taken here... and what a night it's been live from Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois. SR: Hardin's going to murder Kauffman on Wednesday, Dross. Finally we're going to see some _real_ justice. TD: That's going to be an incredible battle for sure. Live from the Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the Outlaw J.W. Hardin battling Dan Kauffman one on one! Don't miss a moment of that incredible action. Folks, we're out of here. For "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Fireworks explode high in the air above the ring as the capacity crowd applauds Kauffman and his allies as they stand in the ring. Pan up to a shot of the half-moon in the sky, accompanied by colourful firework blasts, and fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+