[Fast-paced rock music begins as the show opens. Images of the IIWF's four high-flying martial artists chop and change in time to the beat of the racy music: Tiger Claw executing the Golden Tiger Strike; the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi executing his Starsault Press; Hakiro Matsuoko executing the deadly Butsumetsu Drop; the White Phoenix executing the Phoenix Strike. Over these scenes, a voice over:] TD: Do these four men represent the future of wrestling? High-flying, high-impact excitement is guaranteed every time one of them steps into the ring. Tiger Claw, Thai boxer and three-time IIWF Intercontinental Champion, and Hakiro Matsuoko, former IC champion, represent the Syndicate; and the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, the IIWF's Best Newcomer, alongside the White Phoenix, who burns like fire in the ring are the new order. Tonight, these four men clash in the ring, just seven days before all facing incredible battles at Ring Wars II. It's going to be hot... it's going to be faster than light... it's going to be... [Opening graphics explode onto the screen.] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- + LIVE + Delta Centre, Salt Lake City, Utah + Saturday 5 October 1996 [Cut to interior shots of the Delta Centre, packed with almost twenty thousand fans. Fireworks explode high in the rafters of the arena. Pan down past huge IIWF banners through the crowd, many of whom wave home-made signs, to the ringside enclosure and the broadcast table, at which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to the Delta Centre, Salt Lake City! We are just seven days away from the greatest wrestling spectacular of all time, IIWF Ring Wars II, and we are coming at you _live_ and _loud_ from the beautiful state of Utah! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: And the pleasure is all yours, Dross. TD: Folks, it's been quite a week here in the IIWF. Foremost amongst the craziness that has abounded over the past seven days was the brutal attack on Dan Kauffman this past Wednesday, as the Outlaw J.W. Hardin, along with Cadaver and their minions, trapped him in an air-tight casket... SR: ...which, at least, shut him up for a few minutes. TD: Steve, please. Officials quickly freed Kauffman from his grisly prison, and he took off out of the arena. In fact, he refused to go to his lockerroom, and refused the assistance of IIWF officials. He simply went out to his car and screeched away. He has not been seen or heard from since. SR: And a good thing it is too, Dross. Kauffman's terrified to step foot back inside an arena where Hardin and Cadaver might be waiting. I don't think we'll be seeing him for quite some time. TD: Well, if that's the case, then his Wargames teammates could be in for a rough ride next Saturday night in the Hoosier Dome. However, I'm sure that Kauffman will break his silence very soon, and he'll be back in the saddle, so to speak, to lead his team into Ring Wars II. SR: I wouldn't bet on it, Dross. The tide has turned in the war of good and evil in the IIWF, and it's going to drown those idiots like Kauffman, Quigley, the Subway Stinker, and the rest of those moronic goons. I think I'm going to enjoy Ring Wars II, Dross. TD: I _know_ I'm going to enjoy all the action we've got coming up here tonight, Steve. We've got two huge tag team matchups to look forward to: we've already heard about our main event, plus the Subway Psycho will be teaming with the Man Of Steel to face "Painbringer" Billy Sexton and Simon Lebec. SR: I can't wait for that match, Dross. The Man Of Squeal is just a shell of his former self. I can't think of a more pitiful partnership than the psychotic sewer rat and the alcoholic superhero-wannabe. It almost makes me want to cry... TD: Well, try and contain your grief, Steve. The Outlaw J.W. Hardin will be in the arena tonight to face the Archangel, and chances are, where Hardin goes, the Cadaver isn't far behind. Plus Chris Quigley faces "Badboy" Randy Acorn, the man who attacked him from behind last weekend. Acorn could well find that it'll take more than a sneak attack to put Quigley down and out. SR: He's another candidate for the casket, Dross. He'd better be watching his back tonight. TD: Heavy Metal will take on the Arabian Knights, and Fisto Flash will go one on one with Mr. Damage. In a special Pinfalls Only match, Marty Warnett is scheduled to battle that lunatic, Magus. SR: Magus isn't as stupid as he looks, Dross. TD: You might be right, Steve, but his unpredictability makes him a very dangerous opponent indeed. Warnett had better be on his guard. So there's all that incredible action coming up tonight, but before we get to our live action, let's quickly recap on the matches we've already seen go down here tonight: - THE SANDMAN defeated newcomer NICK NAME in a completely dominating performance. The Dark Knight, accompanied to the ring by the stunning Victoria Secret, toyed withi his opponent throughout the match. He could have finished things after hitting a tremendous clothesline from the top turnbuckle, but he pulled Nick's head up before the three-count, continuing the assault until he finally ended things with his Nightmare chokeslam. It was a most unsportsmanlike performance, if you ask me. SR: I can't remember anybody asking you anything, Dross. The Sandman is in training for the Wargames match -- you're going to need every bit of offense you can string together when you're trapped in a double steel cage with any number of opponents. He was honing his skills out here tonight, and he looked great. Victoria Secret looked pretty good, too. TD: I thought you only had eyes for Nurse Heidi, Steve. SR: Hey, Dross, there's plenty of me to go around. TD: What an... unsavoury thought. Let's move on: - CASEY JAMES was equally dominant as he destroyed clown-wannabe JUMPIN' JACK in less than a minute, hitting him with a series of brutal lariats, followed up by the Blackheart Punch and the Black Death spinebuster. Casey's looking more and more impressive each and every week here, Steve. SR: You got that right, Dross. I can't wait to see him destroy that alcoholic junkie, the Man In Tights, at Ring Wars II next week. It's going to be great! TD: You're disgusting, Steve. In other action: - THE ZODIAC CONNECTION's match with the BARNACLE BROTHERS was over quickly. Scorpio started things off, and dazzled the crowd with a high-flying display, and then let the big man, Taurus, into the ring. It was almost painful to watch as he decimated the two seafaring Barnacles, finishing things off with the devastating Zodiac Splash rocket launcher. Quite a performance from the Zodiac Connection, Steve. SR: I'll admit that I was more impressed than I have been recently. But the only thing I can see in their stars is pain -- handed out by Pain Inc. next week at Ring Wars II in that Texas Bullrope match. TD: We'll see about that. Moving on: - ROBSKI and SABIN FIGARO had a see-saw battle, culminating in the self-monikered English sensation capitalising on a mistake from Figaro which saw him hit his shoulder on the ringpost. Robski hit a reverse shoulderbreaker for the pinfall win. - OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN destroyed MAJESTIC MAURICE McARTHUR and pinned him after two vicious Slaughterslams. However, he wasn't satisfied with the victory, and beckoned Nurse Heidi into the ring after the match. She dressed the hapless Triple M in a leather jacket, and placed a pair of Chris Quigley shades on his face, at which point Verhoeven dragged McArthur to his feet and yelled something in German at the crowd, who gave him a very loud negative reaction indeed. Verhoeven simply laughed, and executed a further three Slaughterslams on Triple M. The real Chris Quigley was prevented from reaching the ring by a security team, while a group of officials tried to keep Verhoeven away from McArthur. It was a disgusting display of unsportsmanlike conduct, Steve. You can bet that Verhoeven will be called into the IIWF President's office on Monday morning and given a pretty hefty fine. SR: You can hit the Butcher in his pocket as much as you like -- but you won't stop him. Verhoeven's on his way to great things here in the IIWF. TD: Verhoeven refused to make any comment to me after the match, yelling something in German as he stormed past. He and Nurse Heidi then shut themselves in their locker room, and wouldn't open the door. SR: I'm not surprised that they don't want to talk to you, Dross. I mean, the only reason _I_ put up with you is because I'm paid to. TD: And what do they pay me for, pray tell? SR: They pay you to make me look even better than I already do, Dross. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Of course. Well, folks, it's time for tonight's first live match! Let's get up to the ring! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Mr. Damage vs. Fisto Flash -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee straightens his orange and green bow tie, and speaks:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Melbourne, Australia, and weighing in at 245lbs, here is Mr. Damage! [Mr. Damage enters the arena to a sizable heel pop, although he has a small section of fans. Damage doesn't look too pleased, and he simply climbs the stairs and enters the ring.] TD: You can almost see the thundercloud hanging above Mr. Damage's head. I wonder what's put him in such a bad mood. SR: He must have just come from the IIWF's hotdog stand. I don't blame him for being in a bad mood! TD: I thought it was the room service, myself. SR: Depends on who's giving the service... and what the service is... TD: Didn't Otto warn you about fantasies involving Heidi... SR: [interrupting] Shush, Dross. RA: And introducing his opponent. Coming to the ring, accompanied by Robo Stone, and weighing in at 305lbs, hailing from Brooklyn, New York, here is Fisto Flaassssh! [Fisto Flash appears at the head of the aisle, raising his new metal fist into the air in a "salute". Flash appears all business, as he rolls into the ring...] TD: The IIWF hotdog stand must be _really_ bad today. SR: Nope, that's not it with Fisto Flash. See, he just found out that he could have bought his prothesis for much less at Walmart. [Dross shakes his head in despair.] SR: Steve takes the lead, 1-0. [Fisto plants a shot into Damage's kidneys. One short-arm clothesline later, and Damage is on the mat. Fisto Flash wastes no time in applying a nerve hold with his metal hand, and Damage gets to the ropes in a hurry! Flash breaks the hold on the referee's count of four, and then rakes Damage's eyes before slamming him down to the canvas. Fisto comes off the ropes with a leg drop, then again with a kneedrop before the first cover... 1 - 2 - big kickout! Damage tries to get to his feet, but Flash keeps him on the ground with a hard boot to the gut and a couple of axehandle blows to the back.] TD: Well, Flash hasn't pulled out the heavy stuff yet, but he's in complete control from the outset here. SR: The food must have been really bad for Damage. [Fisto Flash continues his dominance with a sidewalk slam. Then, carrying a bag, the Hangman walks down the aisle! Heel pop! Flash doesn't see him, and clamps on a reverse wristlock on the struggling Damage. Meanwhile, a camera gets a glimpse of what is in the Hangman's bag.] TD: That looked very much to me like the old prosthesis which the Hangman stole from Fisto a few weeks ago. I wonder why he's brought it out here now? SR: You can bet he isn't just going to give it back to Fisto. [Fisto Flash slams Damage again before noticing the bag, then the contents of the bag, then the Hangman! Flash flies out of the ring, and the Hangman backs away. Flash knocks the Hangman with his prosthesis before snatching the bag and opening it. A cloud of vapour is released from the bag, and it immediately, Flash howls in pain as the acid eats away at his new prothesis!] TD: Whatever that was that came from the bag... SR: Acid. TD: ...it had its desired effect! Flash is in tremendous pain! [Damage, seeing the plight of Fisto Flash, and having watched the Hangman walk off with a smile, rolls Flash back into the ring, cradles him, and gets the count... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Damage rolls out of the ring and walks back up the aisle triumphant. Robo Stone enters the ring to tend to his pained protege.] TD: It looks like Fisto is pretty cut up here, folks. SR: The Hangman certainly pulled it out of the bag here, so to speak. Fisto Flash might not be in any state to compete at Ring Wars II after this. TD: That really would be a shame. Folks, while a team of paramedics makes its way down to ring to tend to Fisto, let's go to comments from the Syndicate. We'll bring you an update on Fisto's condition later on in tonight's broadcast. [Cut to a courtyard behind the Dojo. The Syndicate sits in a group with Kenny Tanaka.] KT: Hello, folks, I'm Kenny Tanaka, coming to you with another interview with the Syndicate. Brian, A lot went down this past Wednesday. What are your comments? BL: Well, one of our enemies, Dan Kauffman, was punished, but the other one seemed to let his ego get the better of him. Subway Psycho, you like to think that you're on top of the world. Now that Sasha is back at your side, you're one of the happiest men alive. But there's that little nagging voice in your head wondering if she was really here because of some bit of information, or if she actually wanted to be here. The uncertainty grows night after night, hour after hour, minute after minute. Is she really back? Or does it just seem that way? I'm not going to tell you, Psycho. Where would the fun be in that? I'll just let things run their course. There is one thing you should keep in mind, though, and that's the time that The Outlaw double crossed two teams in one night, but made it seem like he was friendly to each in the moments just before the attack. Watch that crusty back of yours, Psycho. KT: Now there's been a lot of talk about the Intercontinental belt from several people. What are your comments on that? BL: It seems that Prince of Darkness has forgotten the reason he's back in the IIWF. I worked it so his career is saved, yet he still wants a piece of Tiger Claw. What a display of gratitude... Listen, PoD, I got you back here, and I can have you taken back out. Not by stipulations or rules, but by raw physical punishment. Your size will do you no good when faced with the master of pain, Tiger Claw. At the same time I hear the PoD carry on, I hear Mr. Sexton complaining that we're ducking him for the title shot. Now he's allied with the Grand Vizier, a newcomer to the IIWF. Sexton, you'll get your shot when I say it's time fo you to get your shot. No amount of whining, threatening, or shouting is going to change my mind. Now, there's people other than the Intercontinental champion here, and they have a few things to say. HM: This coming Saturday, Tiger Claw and I shall meet two men who study the arts like we do. One of these men we already know, and that is Takezo Musashi. Ironically, the enigma is The White Phoenix. Shinja Chow has been running around making accusations for weeks about Our manager, Brian Lau, and time has come for him to pay for that slander. I don't know where you learned your art, Chow, but your master neglected to teach you about honour. An honourable man doesn't run around spreading lies about other honourable men. If you feel that someone has wronged you, then you go face to face with that man until the matter is resolved. Ask your team partner about this. While Musashi has wronged me in the past, he still has a shred of honour in his soul. This Saturday night, Tiger Claw and I will take you two to the limits of endurance. This will be a formidable match, there is no doubt, but the glory of combat will swing in our favour. I have no doubt of that. KT: Now, what about the names for the Battle Lines Battle Royal that have recently been announced? CJ: I'm a little annoyed. You see, I was all ready to go in with Joe watching my back. In fact, we were training for this match based on that fact. Of course, I'm not going to let this change distract me. Hakiro and I will have plenty of time to train with each other to make sure a Syndicate member comes out on top. This match will also give us a great chance to get rid of some unwanted trash. There's plenty of it in that battle royal... Don Antonio, Dan Kauffman, Chris Quigley, Subway Psycho. I'm starting to feel like a kid in a candy store. So many beatings to issue, so little time. Folks, one of us is going to get that shot. That's all there is to it. JL: You know, Casey, I realize you were disappointed that I wasn't in the Battle royal, but nobody was more disappointed than me, Joe Latta. This just means that there's another obstacle in the way of me getting that title. I guess I'm going to have to get it some other way. I don't care who is the champion after all this is said and done, I want to issue a challenge to whoever is champion after the winner of the battle royal gets his shot. I don't care if it's Deathbringer, J.W. Hardin, or even you, Casey. CJ: Hey, man, if I had the belt, you better believe I'd give all my friends a shot at it. JL: I know you would, Casey. You want to know how I know that? Because I know that you're a stand up guy. You are the type of guy that the kids should be cheering for. You don't need anybody's help to go out there and take care of business. When you had the whole country turn their back on you, you spun them right back around and spit in their faces. I respect a man that isn't afraid to stand up to any enemy, no matter how big. Casey's got my vote, that's for sure. KT: Perhaps you should have run for President, Casey. CJ: What do I look like, some over the hill dirtbag with an obsession for the Camel Clutch? KT: Good point. Well, folks, I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today. Until next time, this is Kenny Tanaka for the Syndicate saying so long, everybody! [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: That Battle Lines Battle Royal is coming up this Wednesday, folks. It's going to be a tremendous match, that's for sure. SR: And I wouldn't be surprised to see Casey James walk out with the victory, Dross. It's about time that "Blackheart" started getting the recognition he deserves. TD: We'll see about that, Steve. It's time to go back up to the ring to see the Arabian Knights battle Heavy Metal. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Heavy Metal vs. Arabian Knights =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: This should be a real slobberknocker, Steve. SR: I've been wondering... Just what _is_ a sloppyknicker? TD: _Slobberknocker_, Steve. It's going to be a great fight, in other words. SR: Then why not just say "This one's going to be a great fight"? TD: Well, because... Let's get down to ringside for the announcements from Sparkplug Lee. [Sparkplug Lee ducks between the ropes, exposing the tear along the seam of his tuxedo pants.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 595 lbs, and hailing from Ar Riyad, Saudi Arabia. They are accompanied to the ring by The Grand Vizier and "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, Omar and Prince Abdul Akbar, The Arabian Knights! [The lights dim, and torches light the way down the aisle for the four men coming out of the locker room area. Billy Sexton proudly walks with the Grand Vizier, and Abdul seems to be trying to get Omar fired up for the match to come. The crowd boos all four men solidly] TD: Looks like the beginnings of a stable here. SR: Yeah, I suppose. These guys have a long way to go before they get to the status of the stables that are or ever were a part of the IIWF, though. TD: That may be true, but the Grand Vizier's men are all looking for championship titles. I think they may have a chance of getting them. RA: Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 660lbs, and accompanied by Robo Stone, here are Atlas and Apollo Steele: Heavy Metal! [Heavy Metal make their way down the aisle, posing the whole time. Robo Stone follows closely behind, laughing maniacally.] SR: There's that laugh again. TD: You've got to wonder how he keeps it up without having to stop for breath. SR: Probably got pointers from Quigley and Kauffman. TD: Or the Armed Forces... SR: Well... Okay, you've got a point. [Atlas and Omar start the match, and surprisingly, there's a lot of order as the ref calls for the bell. The two monsters then run at each other for shoulder tackles. The two hit, but neither man goes down. Almost simultaneously, both men run off the ropes to hit each other again, but again, neither goes down. The smaller Atlas laughs and flexes his muscles, taunting Omar. Omar seems unimpressed as he jams hit thumb into Atlas' eye. Atlas holds his face as Omar flexes his arms, which gets a mixed pop from the crowd. Omar runs off the ropes and almost takes Atlas' head off with a clothesline. Atlas goes down the the mat and Omar begins stomping away. Abdul cheers his man on, then calls for the tag. Omar stops in mid-beating, and walks over to tag the Prince. Abdul jumps into the ring, cackling with glee, preparing to take advantage of the already-stomped-on Atlas.] TD: Well, it's obvious who does all the hard work in that team. SR: Well, what do you think Omar is paid for? [Abdul drags Atlas to his feet, and jumps up to perform a Frankensteiner. Atlas reverses into a powerbomb, and the crowd pops as Abdul hits the mat hard. Atlas staggers over to his corner and tags in Apollo. Apollo storms in and splashes Abdul. Apollo goes for the cover... 1 - Omar rushes in - 2 - Omar breaks the pin, then leaves the ring quickly. Apollo drags Abdul up again and lifts him up in a suplex. Apollo holds the prince up in position for some time, then lets go with one hand so he can flex his arm while he finishes the move. Heel pop from the crowd. Abdul holds his back and begins to whine, which gets the crowd taunting him. Apollo gets up and lays some boots into Abdul's back, which gets more protests from the prince. The heel pop gets louder as the Atomic Destroyers begin to walk down to the ring. Robo Stone finally stops laughing as he sees them.] SR: I just realized now that Robo Stone has been laughing the whole time he's been out here. TD: Well, he's not laughing now, Steve. I bet The Atomic Destroyers aren't out here to just scout. [Apollo continues to beat on Abdul as the Atomic Destroyers get to the ring. They get to the Heavy Metal corner and pull Atlas from the apron. Larn holds Atlas, and Steroid pounds on him with several forearm shots. Robo Stone tries to save his man, but Steroid just swats the manager away. Apollo sees what is happening on the outside, and vaults out of the ring, landing fist first on Steroid's head. Steroid staggers back and hits the guard rail, and suddenly, there's a four way fight between the two teams. In the ring, Abdul crawls over to Omar and tags the big man in. Omar enters the ring and just leans in the corner, watching the melee outside. Larn dominates Atlas in their scuffle, partially due to the beating that Steroid dished out on him. He throws Atlas back into the ring, and Omar immediately closes in and lifts him over his head, while on the outside, Larn and Steroid double team Apollo. The crowd pops as Omar drives Atlas into the canvas. Omar locks on a full nelson, and Abdul takes the cue to run in and thrust kick Atlas in the head. Atlas, after the beating he's just taken, falls unconscious. The ref calls for the bell. Ding! Ding!] TD: What is the decision here? Is it a disqualification? Who wins? SR: I'm not sure. You can never tell with these referees... RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has called for the bell, deeming Atlas of Heavy Metal unable to continue. Therefore, the winner of this bout, The Arabian Knights! [Omar lets go of the hold, and the Grand Vizier and Sexton get into the ring to celebrate with the victors. They watch Larn and Steroid beat on Apollo for a while, then seem to get bored as they leave the ring. They pass by a team of security who speeds to where the Atomic Destroyers are The security team has a bit of trouble detaining the team, but they prevail and begin to escort the Destroyers from the ringside area. Apollo slumps against the crowd barrier, Atlas lies unconscious in the ring, and Robo Stone seems to have rolled under the ring to keep away from the beating.] TD: Well, Heavy Metal just got taken to the cleaners tonight. Not really by the Arabian Knights, but by the Atomic Destroyers. SR: You can bet the Stone Stable will be looking to even the score if Robo can be coerced into coming out from under the ring. TD: I wonder if he's laughing under there. SR: You know, he could be... TD: Up next, we're going to see Chris Quigley battle the "Badboy" Randy Acorn. Let's go to comments from Quigley as he prepares for this match: [Cut to Chris Quigley standing in front of a computerised IIWF logo...] CQ: The time and place is NOW, Randy Acorn! You jump out of "the closet" in your cross-dressing uniform, and attack me from behind during MY match? BIG f'n MISTAKE! I am sick and tired of each and every man in the IIWF trying to keep me from doing what everybody knows I can do, DOMINATE! This is just a little message to YOU Acorn... you are gonna be beaten worse then you have EVER...EVER been beaten before. When I lock on the Quickstriker, and there is nowhere to go but down, remember what you did, and who you decided to mess with, and then you can kick yourself all the way back to your locker room! Oh and Simon Lebec went on a little trip to Newfoundland, did he? I'll have more to say on that garbage later! For now, Acorn... get ready to be STRUCK DOWN! [Cut back to the ring.] TD: That's one hot Chris Quigley. SR: Yeah, hot air. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. "Badboy" Randy Acorn -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: This one should be interesting. Quigley claims that Acorn isn't really the real badboy, and that he couldn't even fill the shoes of this other guy. SR: It's a typical egomaniac tactic. Single out someone with a nickname you've heard before and tell them how they're nothing compared to the "real" one. A whole lot of talk, little action. Hey, Quigley, you're an idiot... But you're not particularly good at being one... So you're also incompetent. TD: Well, Chris Quigley has been around, Steve. SR: Who cares? He hasn't been here for very long. Just because he gets beaten up in other feds doesn't make him good, Dross. TD: Let's go up to the ring. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 238 lbs and hailing from Corner Brook, Newfoundland, Canada, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley!! [The lights dim, and Quigley's logo spins in several spots along the aisle. "For Those About to Rock" blares over the PA, and Chris Quigley steps out of the backstage area. The crowd pops large as Quigley walks down the aisle. He makes it to the ringside area, and looks for a recipient for his sunglasses. He notices a man holding a baby with a young boy beside him, and zeroes in. The kid goes nuts, and the father-looking guy looks around uncomfortably. Feeling that some cover has been blown, the father-type smacks Quigley over the head with the baby, which turns out to be a doll. Dad turns out to be Randy Acorn, who steps over the crowd barrier to follow up on the attack.] TD: Something has got to be done about this... Isn't there some rule about this kind of thing? SR: No written rules... Although I think there's laws in some states prohibiting men from wearing dresses... I'm not sure... [Acorn throws Quigley into the ring and follows him in. He stomps on Quigley, screaming something about "this badboy being real enough for him." Acorn picks up Quigley and executes a swinging neckbreaker, then showboats to the crowd. The camera picks up a guy with glasses dressed like Billy Shakespeare and sporting comedy/tragedy mask design on his cheek. He holds up a sign that reads "Billy's my bud!"] TD: Well, it looks like there's a slightly obsessive Billy Shakespeare fan out here tonight... He's definitely got the same taste in clothes! SR: But not the way with words... "Billy's my bud!?" What the hell is that? Stupid freak... It figures that Shakespeare's fans would be idiots. [Acorn moves back to Quigley and drops and elbow. Again, Acorn gets up and calls out to the crowd. A paper cup flies into the ring from the crowd, and hits Acorn in the back of the head. Acorn spins around and asks who did it. The Shakespeare fan stands up and yells, "I did, ya loser!" Acorn leans over the ropes and makes threatening gestures to the fan, and Quigley recovers behind him. The fan calls Acorn names, and Acorn gets even more angry. Quigley sneaks up on Acorn and gives him an enzuigiri kick to the back of Acorn's head. Acorn recoils from the shot, and spills over the top rope. The fan laughs and points at Acorn, who rolls on the floor, holding his head. Quigley leaves the ring to collect Acorn, and the fan tells the guy next to him, "This Quigley's okay, but he's no Billy Shakespeare... I like Billy... He's my bud, you know..." Quigley hears the conversation, and glances over to the fan, then shakes his head. Quigley throws Acorn back into the ring and follows in. Quigley hits Acorn with a vertical suplex, much to the delight of Billy's fan. Acorn hits the mat hard, and Quigley goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Acorn.] TD: This fan is really causing trouble for Acorn in this match! SR: He's causing me trouble here, too. I can hardly keep myself from walking over there and throttling him. [Billy's fan yells to Acorn "Want me to throw in the towel!?" The ref walks over and tells him that if he throws a towel into the ring, he'll be ejected. Acorn uses this chance to go into his tights and pull out some brass knuckles. Quigley, who has been watching the fan with amusement, goes back over to continue his offense on Acorn. He is met with a fistful of brass to the head, and falls to the mat. Acorn quickly disposes of the weapon, and jumps out of the ring. He walks straight toward the fan and gets in his face. "What's your problem?" "Want me to smack you?" and "I can cheer for whoever I want" are several of the phrases heard in the argument. In the ring, Quigley shakes off the effects of the loaded punch and works on getting to his feet. Outside, the Billy fan says "I can't help it if you suck, man..." Acorn is furious as he grabs the fan by the lapels and threatens him. The fan empties a luke-warm bottle of Yoo-Hoo in Acorn's face, and Acron's head snaps back. Big pop.] TD: Yoo-HOO! Right in the eyes! And it was luke warm! SR: Wait a minute, I'm seeing a parallel of some sort here... [Acorn is even madder as he turns back to the fan, who takes his glasses off and clocks him with a huge right hand. Acorn spins around from the shot to meet Quigley slingshotting out of the ring with an over the top plancha. Quigley connects, and causes Acorn's head to hit the barrier. The camera pans over to the fan again, and without the glasses, he looks a lot like the real Billy Shakespeare. So much, in fact, that it actually _is_ the real Billy Shakespeare. The fans at ringside are overcome with awe that the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion is sitting with them. Billy raises his hand, leaps over the barricade, and bows in Acorn's direction. He then makes his way up the aisle.] TD: How is it that we didn't recognize him with the glasses? SR: You know, I used to wonder about stuff like that in Superman comics. Now I know that it works... [Quigley drags Acorn to his feet and throws him back into the ring. He leaps to the top rope and launches a flying elbow drop that lands squarely on Acorn's chest. Quigley motions for the Quickstriker, and the crowd pops. Quigley locks it on, and the ref checks for the submission. After a few moments, the ref calls for the bell as Acorn submits. The crowd pops huge, and Quigley lets go of the hold. He steps out of the ring to where his sunglasses were dropped earlier, and gives them to the kid that tried to warn him. The kid stands proudly with his new Quickstrike glasses, and Quigley pats the kid on the head.] TD: Well, Steve, Billy Shakespeare beat Acorn at his own game. He used the element of disguise. SR: Yeah, like _that_ hasn't been done before... What a copycat. TD: Well, I think it's a message to Acorn that Shakespeare is capable of the same tactics. The Cruiserweight title match should be a real slobberknocker. SR: There's that word again... Stop it! TD: Sorry, Steve. Before we go back up to the ring for our next match, let's go to some pretaped comments from motormouth Mr. Mic, manager of the malodourous Pain Inc. SR: Don't you practice your alliteration on me, Dross. [Cut to a rock quarry in Chicago, Illinois. Pain Inc. are seen smashing rocks with their bare hands while screaming at the top of their lungs. Every so often they look at Mr. Mic, who keeps pushing them on. Mr. Mic walks towards the camera.] MM: Oh Grand Brassier, you have finally run your mouth one too many times. Insulting Pain Inc. is one quick way to death. Is it true that I met Pain Inc. in a transvestite bar...no actually, old man, I think I know of the bar you're talking about in Jakarta....hold on, that's where I remember you and the 7-11 Knights. Pain Inc. did break up a fight in front of the bar.. remember? You and the Slurpee boys all had on the same dress, and were ready to beat the crap out of each other before Pain Inc. beat the crap out of you anyways.... ha ha ha! As for me being an American [he makes a buzzer sound]... Wrong again -- I was born in England and live in Canada, ya know, kind of you like you living in 7-11 but originally from Habib's Sand Emporium!!!! As for a piece of action I understand you are quite the piece of action man yourself... oh. hold on. sheep don't count... sorry, too BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! ha ha ha! See the 7-11 Knights are flappin their mouths because they're jealous of Pain Inc.: we're a better team, we're ranked higher, and we are on the Ring Wars 2 card and they are left on the Free-for-All. As for the Zodiac Connection... you guys are right, you will IIWF tag-team champs before the year is up... but then you'll wake up in the morning and you'll be back to earth as losers. Don't think you can look past Pain Inc., and don't think you can demand any title shots, or anything you want... YOU'RE NOT IN ANY POSITION!!!! Pain Inc., on the other hand, are. You guys wanted the best... well, you got 'em. RING WARS 2, ZODIAC CONNECTION! WE'RE GONNA POUND YOU GUYS INTO THE GROUND!!! [Cut back to the ringside announcers' table.] SR: He may talk a lot, Dross, but I think he stands a better chance of predicting the future than those Zodiac boobs. TD: It's going to be quite a match, folks. Don't miss Ring Wars II, coming your way next Saturday Night, live from the Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana! Call your local cable operator right now to be a part of the action! SR: Okay, okay. Let's have some action _now_, for heaven's sake! TD: You got it, Steve. Up next we've got that Pinfalls Only match between Magus and Marty Warnett. Let's go up to the ring! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= PINFALLS ONLY MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Marty Warnett vs. Magus ----------------------- RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a special Pinfalls Only encounter scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the loony bin, weighing in at 303lbs, here is: Maaaaaaguuus! [The huge Magus comes into view at the head of the aisle, to a loud heel pop... although a cluster of fans wave around "Magus the Great" signs and bash their heads together...] TD: Uh, yeah. It seems Magus has brought his relatives out today, and boy, they're about as loony as he is! SR: I suppose loony is as loony does... TD: "Magus the Great"? Sometimes, I wonder about these fans of ours... [And so does Marty Warnett, who comes out of the entranceway, sees the cluster, waves, and strolls by! The crowd gives Warnett a big face pop.] TD: But one thing is for sure, these fans have really gotten behind this youngster in the short time he's been here! SR: Makes me want to puke. Warnett came in with practically no experience, and declares that he's _better_ than everyone else? How does _that_ work? TD: Okay, so Warnett's a little cocky. So? SR: Do your job, okay? I'll ask the questions. [Warnett vaults into the ring, and is met immediately by Magus, who promptly throws Warnett into the corner and begins choking away! Heel pop! Magus breaks just before the referee count fives, then goes across to the other turnbuckle, bouncing his _own_ head off of it, then runs at Warnett, connecting with a huge clothesline! Warnett, having nowhere to go, slumps down in the corner. Magus brings him to his feet and starts choking him down again, and a close-up shows Magus' eyes rolling to the back of his head!] TD: You know, sometimes I wonder what Magus went through when he was a child. SR: No worse than what I go through here, Dross. Watch it, your toupee is coming undone. TD: LEAVE - MY - HAIR - OUT - OF - THIS! SR: Why? It gets in the way of everything else... [Magus kicks Warnett right in the gut, then lifts him up and executes an unusually good butterfly suplex! Quick cover... 1 - Kickout! Warnett is faster to his feet, but Magus maintains the advantage with a rake to the eyes and a solid uppercut sending Warnett down hard! Magus starts choking away again, when the Punster arrives at the head of the aisle! Pop! Magus dishes out a few stomps to Warnett, then notices the Punster. Punster starts mocking Magus by "bashing" his head against the steel guardrail!] SR: If there's anybody more nuts than Magus in the IIWF, it's the Pukester. TD: My thoughts exactly. [Magus, enraged, leans over the top rope and flicked off Punster, who performs a "bird in flight" impersonation that makes Magus even madder! Magus threatens the Punster, and Warnett, having come to his feet, catches the big man in a German suplex! Pop! Cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout! Magus is faster to his feet, and levels Warnett with a shoulder block! Punster decides he's seen enough, and, effectively bypassing the referee, leaps onto Magus with a flurry! Big pop! Punster and Magus roll across the mat brawling, and Warnett is able to recover and nail Magus with a back brain kick! Magus slumps to the canvas, and the Punster gets one more shot in before leaving ringside.] SR: You know, it seems every time Magus has an edge on some wrestler, someone has to come out and doubleteam him! TD: And boy, was it effective this go around! Remeber, there's no rules! That is perfectly legal. SR: Well, just wait. Warnett... and the Punster for that matter... are going to get theirs! [Warnett with a cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout! Magus lifts Warnett about three feet with the Kickout, but Warnett lands on his feet, and when Magus tries to get up, rolls him up in a shoulderroll leg-lock pinning combo! Cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout! Warnett drags the big man to his feet, and lifts him up in a fallaway slam! Another cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout! Magus' kickout is now not so authoritative, and Warnett locks a leg-scissors on Magus, wrenching the ankle! Suddenly, from out of the crowd, Simon Lebec appears, hair clippers in hand! Lebec rolls into the ring...] SR: I told you, Dross! Warnett is going to get his dues now! [Just as Lebec is about to crash the clippers down, Warnett rolls out of the way. The clippers bounce out of Lebec's hands, off the mat, and to the outside as Warnett and Lebec get into a brawl! Warnett is able to gain the edge momentarily, then Lebec goes downstairs, doubling Warnett over.] TD: Hey ref! That was a low blow! Get some control! SR: Now now, Tim. We all saw what the Punster initiated. This is simply fair turnabout. TD: The Punster wasn't carrying clippers, either! SR: Where do you see clippers? I don't. [Lebec drives Warnett down with a piledriver, and Warnett's neck is wrenched severely! Big heel pop! Magus gets to his feet after trying to get his leg back in working order, and brings Warnett up, holding him for Lebec!] SR: It's the end of the road for Marty Warnett's career! It's all over but the shouting! [Lebec winds up a superkick, but Warnett is able to slip out of the way, and Lebec's foot hit square under Magus' jaw! Pop! Warnett, with a sudden burst of energy, clotheslines Lebec over the top rope, then covers Magus and hooks the leg... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: Hey Steve! Your prediction came true! SR: Shut up, Dross. [Warnett quickly rolls out of the ring, and walks back up the aisle, shaking hands with the fans, exuberant over his victory. Both Magus and Lebec stir and came to at about the same time, but neither is very happy with the other. Nonetheless, both men proceed back to the locker room without incident.] TD: Magus hasn't had a good week. First, he gets toasted by Kauffman, and now he winds up on the sour end of a Lebec superkick! SR: Well, hey... look on the bright side. Look what Cadaver and the Outlaw did to Kauffman! I don't think that loudmouth will be seen again! Now if only Hardin would do us all a favour and trap the Punster in one of those caskets. TD: Now, now, Steve. Please try to be nice. Before our next match, let's go to some comments from the Family of the IIWF: [Cut to Don Antonio, Salvatore Fiorello and Vinny Cappicola seated around a table in an Italian restaurant.] DA: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another fine edition of Dinna Wit Da Don. Tonight we are going to talk about quite a few of the new developments here in the IIWF, but first we are going to discuss something of monumental proportions to the Family. VC: Yeah, I'm startin' to get a little ticked off wit da attitude of our beloved president. This week marked the second time dat da Family wuz robbed of a championship and I promise, Mr. Prez, I won't let dat happen again. DA: Mr. President, in my match against Ring Wars II you will hold the only key to the steel cage. Nobody else in the universe will be able to unlock that door except you. President Spreadbury, by trusting you, I am putting my health in the hands of a man who I feel has betrayed me before. Although I am hesitant about doing this because I feel that somehow Brian Lau is going to get a copy, I am willing to possibly sacrifice for the good of professional wrestling. If the world sees you betray me out there one more time, the IIWF will surely fold. Without fan support this league is nothing. But on to more pressing matters like Tiger Claw himself. Brian Lau, you think you run this federation, and judging from your wheeling and dealing with the Prez, I dont deny it, but all this will come to an end at Ring Wars II. I don't plan on simply defeating Tiger Claw for the IC Championship, I plan on completely and utterly destroying the forces of the Syndicate forever. VC: You said it, Don. Lau, when I getz in da ring wit your men, it's gonna be PANDEMONIUM. Casey James, Joe Latta hype, your days are numbered. SF: A few more things about recent developments here in the IIWF. First off, Armed Farces and High Plains Sifters, don't think that you have seen the last of the Family. My men have been training a little extra to develop their tag skills and when we meet you in the ring again Farces, it won't be pretty. VC: Oh yeah, and High Plains whatever, you made a big mistake. I don't know if President Spreadbury told you to go out there or what but all I have to say is payback is a B*TCH!!! DA: We also have a few words of wisdom for our one time friends out there. First, Man of Steel, what is happening to you? I guess you don't remember the good old days when you stood tall with the Family. I guess you don't recall the onslaught of victories you had before your accident that were due to your ethic and motivation, not cheap moves and underhand tactics. Man of Steel, I ask you only once, come back to the light or we shall abandon you for good. SF: The Subway Psycho also seems to be on a hateful tirade of late and we have to say one thing to him. Psycho, the Family could have done what we wanted with Sasha. We could have kept you two apart for years longer but we felt that it wouldn't be right. Psycho, we thought of you as a friend and do you now betray us as well? Psycho, it is not shameful for a force of light to desire the belt from another force of light. That is what wrestling should be all about. Power versus power. Skill versus skill, not good versus evil as usual. We gave Sasha that envelope because the IIWF needed you back. I understand your dedication to the championship but you must realize what respect means to us. Psycho, don't forget your roots, and never forget the Family. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Once again, the Family don't pull any punches as far as their comments directed at the IIWF President are concerned. SR: These morons have got to understand that just because they don't possess either the tools or the talent to get anywhere in the ring, it doesn't mean that the administration of the IIWF is corrupt. If that idiot Spreadbury were really on our side, he'd get rid of you and give me a pay rise. What more proof do you need? TD: Well, I wouldn't have put it that way, Steve, but we must move on. Up next is the first of our two huge tag team encounters. With all the speculation concerning just what's going on in his personal life, the fans don't trust the Man Of Steel like they used to. Tonight, in an attempt to regain their trust, Steel teams up with the Subway Psycho to face Simon Lebec and Billy Sexton. What a match this is going to be! SR: It's going to be a total walkover for Lebec and Sexton, Dross. That subway dwelling rodent and his alcoholic cripple of a partner couldn't be a less effective duo if they were both dead. Which I wish they were. TD: Er... okay. Let's go up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Subway Psycho & Man Of Steel vs. "Painbringer" Billy Sexton & "Showstopper" Simon Lebec -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: I'm sure I can speak for everyone here when I say the we can't be sure what to expect in this tag match. All four men are involved in their own bitter struggles as of late, so I'm sure that will come in to play. SR: That's right. Tiger Claw may have a bone to pick with the Subway Psycho, Warnett may stick his nose into Simon Lebec's business, and we all know Man of Steel's struggle with certain intoxicants. TD: Come on, Steve! That's just a rumor spread by Becky LaRue and Casey James. I wouldn't put too much stock in what those people say. SR: I would, and I do. TD: Well, you believe what you want, Steve. I still have faith in the American hero. Let's get down to ringside. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is a special tag match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the aisle, here are the Man of Steel and the Subway Psycho! [The lights dim, and "Crazy Train" blares over the PA. The crowd pops as a bank of lights shines on the head of the aisle, revealing Subway Psycho and a masked Man of Steel. Psycho slaps the hands of the fans while MOS simply walks behind him, ignoring the fans.] SR: It seems that the Man of Steel is continuing on his mean streak. TD: I think it's just that he's focused on this match, Steve. SR: Believe what you want, but you're wrong. RA: Their opponents, accompanied to the ring by the Grand Vizier, "Painbringer" Billy Sexton and "Showstopper" Simon Lebec! [The trio makes their way down the isle, Sexton showboating to the fans, and Lebec waving off the jeers of the crowd. They walk to the ring, and Vizier gives the two men a few suggestions before they take their positions.] TD: I'm anxious to see this match get underway. SR: Looks like there's a bit of a disagreement between Psycho and Man of Steel. They're arguing about who starts the match... [Man of Steel is pointing to himself, but Psycho shakes his head and motions that he should start off. MOS shouts at Psycho, pushes him, and charges Sexton on the other side of the ring. The ref calls for the bell, starting the match. MOS clotheslines Sexton, and Lebec exits the ring. Sexton goes down, and MOS immediately slaps on a blatant chokehold. The ref counts to four, and MOS releases the hold. Sexton holds his throat as MOS drags him to his feet. MOS hits a gutwrench suplex, then proceeds to kick Sexton a few times in the ribs. MOS tags in the Subway Psycho, who seems less than impressed with Steel's actions. Psycho closes in on Sexton, and drags him to his feet. Psycho hits a powerbomb and goes for a cover. 1 - 2 - Kickout by Sexton. Psycho drags Sexton up and throws him into the ropes. He catches Sexton with a knee lift to the midsection, then a leg drop across the throat. Again, Psycho goes for the cover. 1 - Kickout by Sexton. Again, Psycho drags Sexton up and throws him into the ropes and goes for a drop kick. Sexton grabs the ropes, causing Psycho to catch nothing but air. Psycho lands hard, and Sexton staggers over to the corner to tag in Lebec. Lebec steps in to the ring, and there is a noticable pop as Marty Warnett steps out to the head of the aisle with a framed photo of Lebec with tufts of fake hair pasted on it.] SR: There... I told you, Dross. Warnett is coming to cause trouble. TD: Trouble? What is it called when Lebec does things like this? SR: A psychological advantage. TD: [sighs] [Lebec immediately begins to work on Psycho's leg, draping it over the bottom rope and then jumping on it. Heel pop. Lebec stretches Psycho's hamstring, then locks on an ankle lock. Warnett, by this time, has made it down to ringside, and shows off the photo of Lebec. Lebec releases the ankle lock, and spots Warnett on the outside. He shouts something to Warnett, and Warnett just holds his hands up innocently and looks to the crowd. Lebec walks to the corner and tags in Sexton, keeping his eye on Warnett. Sexton steps into the ring and continues the work on Psycho's leg. Outside, Warnett shows Lebec the photo, and asks him how he likes it. Not waiting for an answer, Warnett peels the fake hair off the photo revealing the doctored picture of Lebec's head with no hair on it. Lebec goes ballistic, jumping from the apron and engaging in a slug fest with Warnett. Warnett is prepared, however, and manages to throw Lebec into the crowd barrier. In the ring, Sexton sets Psycho up for a kneebreaker, but Psycho reverses it into a flying headscissors takedown. Sexton hits the mat hard, and Psycho limps over to the corner to tag Man of Steel. Psycho holds his hand out, and MOS looks to the crowd. MOS grabs Psycho's arm and pulls him into a roundhouse right that floors the People's Champion. Huge heel pop as MOS enters the ring and drops a few elbows on the Psycho. Sexton looks on, confused, then begins to help MOS in the beating. Lebec is still on the outside fighting with Warnett.] TD: What's going on!? Man of Steel just attacked his partner! SR: I believe the phrase being used for this action is "pulling a Casey James." TD: This is disgusting! SR: Well, that's what the booze will do to you. [Sexton and MOS continue to rain shots on the Psycho, and the bell rings repeatedly. Finally, the "Jobber Squad" runs down to ringside to break up the fight. Some are confused as to whether they should tend to the Lebec/Warnett fight or the double team in the ring. Most go to the double team, and with some effort, Sexton and MOS are restrained. Psycho is helped up from the mat, and he lunges towards MOS for some payback. All three men are held back from each other, and a few guys have even separated Lebec and Warnett. Sparkplug Lee, on the outside, picks up a microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has declared this match a no contest! TD: And rightly so. This wasn't a tag match. This was just three guys beating up on Psycho. One of which was Psycho's own partner! SR: Yeah, I think it's great. It's about time we showed the Psycho that he's in serious danger if he sticks around. TD: Come on, Steve! Even you have got to admit that the Psycho was attacked without justification! SR: I don't _have_ to admit anything, Dross. [All the athletes are escorted out of the ring and away from ringside. A few scuffles break out periodically, but the trusty Jobber Squad stop the fights soon after they start.] TD: Thank goodness for these young stars here... SR: Stars? That's Ned Norton... That's Nick Name... They're not stars unless you're looking in the Guiness Book under "Biggest losing streaks." TD: But the fact remains that without them, the Psycho would have been stomped brutally. SR: And I'm supposed to cheer for them coming out? Not likely. TD: In that case, if you expect me to cheer for the guy who's coming up in action next, you've got another thing coming. Archangel will be going up against the despicable Outlaw J.W. Hardin, whom, it seems, can just about get away with murder here in the IIWF. SR: Who's going to stop him, Dross? TD: I think we both know that the IIWF Champion is going to mete out some justice next week at Ring Wars II. SR: You mean Yawnbringer?! That king-size cretin is as scared of Hardin and his allies -- not to mention the dreaded Cadaver -- as everybody else here in the IIWF. Hardin is unstoppable. TD: Well, Archangel's going to have a shot at stopping him right here. Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Archangel vs. Outlaw J.W. Hardin -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, led to the ring by Bishop Right, hailing from Purgatory and weighing in at 400lbs, here is the new and improved Archangel! [Moderate pop as the thudding bass of the theme from "Terminator 2" pounds out over the PA. Strobe lighting gives the Archangel and the manager whom he dwarfs an eerie appearance as they slowly walk to the ring. Archangel stares ahead at the ring, and takes his time as he climbs the ringsteps.] TD: Wow. Just look at that guy. More than seven feet tall, and 400lbs. If anybody but Deathbringer can strike fear into the heart of the Outlaw, it's this man. SR: You're kidding, right? There's nothing on this planet, or anywhere else for that matter, that can strike fear into the stone heart of the Outlaw. You're talking about a man who killed his own father here, Dross. [Huge heel pop as "Outlaw Blues" starts up over the PA. The lights dim, and a set of filters cast a slowly shifting mixture of deep oranges and reds onto the aisle, reminiscent of a sunset on the prairie.] RA: And introducing his opponent: coming down the aisle, weighing in at 353lbs, here is the Outlaw J.W. Hardin! [Hardin steps out into the aisle and stands at the top of the aisle, casting his eyes around the packed arena and regarding the capacity crowd with disdain. He shakes his head and laughs before making his way down to the ring. He climbs the ringsteps and steps through the ropes without hesitation. He turns to face the Archangel, and unhurriedly removes his hat and leather vest. The two men walk to the centre of the ring, and stand chest to chest. Hardin looks up into the eyes of the Archangel without trepidation, despite the size disadvantage. He says something which the microphones don't pick up, and Archangel immediately winds up for a right hand. Hardin blocks the attempt, and fires back with a punch of his own. The big man is staggered, and Hardin bounces off the ropes, hitting a swinging punch. Archangel goes down, and Hardin immediately drops an elbow on the big man. He stands and grabs Archangel's leg, snapping it back and pulling the hamstring. He repeats the move as Archangel flails with his arms, trying to grab his opponent.] TD: Smart move by Hardin to take out Archangel's legs. If the big man can't stand, he's no taller than anybody else. SR: Hardin's a much smarter wrestler than some people give him credit for. Sure, he's a powerhouse, but don't forget that he's also got a sound technical background, and he can mix it up on the mat very effectively. [The Outlaw bends Archangel's leg double and drops an elbow on his midsection, pulling the big man's groin muscles. Archangel doesn't scream, but a very pained expression crosses his face. Hardin stays on the leg, draping it across the bottom rope and jumping on it. The referee tries to pull the Outlaw away, but Hardin just jostles the official out of the way, and repeats the move. The Archangel drags himself towards the middle of the ring. Hardin grabs the big man's hair and drags him to his feet, then executes a vicious short clothesline that sends him straight back to the mat. He showboats to the hostile crowd as Archangel rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope.] TD: I don't think I've ever seen anybody solicit such a negative reaction from the crowd as this man at any time in my career. He is really not a popular athlete. SR: It doesn't matter what these morons think, Dross. Hardin's going to be the IIWF Champion in just seven days' time, and he'll have buried Deathbringer for good to boot. For that service to humanity alone, he'll go down in history. [The Outlaw goes over to the ropes, and Archangel grabs one of Hardin's legs, pulling him over and dragging him out of the ring. Hardin hits his head on the apron and seems dazed as Archangel sets about him with a volley of punches. The crowd gets more excited as Hardin seems to buckle and slump towards the floor. Archangel drags Hardin up and whips him into the steel ringsteps. Big pop! He follows in, favouring his right leg, and plants a few kicks in Hardin's guts. The referee's count reaches five, and Archangel climbs through the ropes to break the count. He goes back to the outside as Hardin pulls himself to his feet, and tries to whip the Outlaw into the steel crowd barriers. Hardin reverses, and Archangel clatters, injured leg first, into the barriers. Big heel pop!] TD: Both of these guys are highly tenacious, and this match is going to take a lot out of both athletes before it's over. SR: Hardin's a tougher competitor than just about anybody... and what really gives him the advantage in this match are his brains. [As Hardin stalks in after the Archangel, Bishop Right sneaks up behind him, wielding a steel cross. He clouts Hardin round the back of the head with it, knocking the Outlaw down to one knee. The official is quickly out of the ring to break up the situation as Hardin clutches at the back of his head and gets back to his feet, furious. He looks at his hand, and is even more enraged when he sees that his head is bleeding. He threatens the referee, who is acting as a human shield between Hardin and the Bishop, and finally the official steps out of the way, just as Archangel brings a steel chair crashing down on Hardin's head! Big pop! The referee tries to pull the chair away from Archangel, but the big man snatches it back, and the referee flies backwards, hitting his head on the ring apron. The official goes down as Archangel wields the chair above his head once more.] TD: Was that deliberate? Did the Archangel just knock out the official on purpose? Wow! Another shot with that chair! Hardin's in big trouble right here, Steve! SR: Not for long, Dross. Here comes the cavalry! [There is a huge heel pop as the Sandman, Otto Verhoeven, Casey James, and Billy Sexton fly down the aisle, with the slow, stalking figure of Cadaver following menacingly behind. Security personnel, who have clearly been pursuing the corpse-like athlete for some time, periodically try to restrain Cadaver, but he swats them away like flies. At ringside, the Outlaw's allies attack Archangel and Bishop Right. Cadaver finally reaches the scene of the carnage, and pulls back one of the ringside padded floor mats. Sexton whips Archangel in his direction, and Cadaver kicks him in the gut, doubling him over. He places his leg over the back of the Archangel's neck, and performs the vicious Death Drop, driving Archangel's face straight into the bare concrete floor. Cadaver turns him over, and his nose is bleeding heavily.] TD: No! The Archangel must be out after that move! What a devastating and disgusting attack! Hardin seems incapable of fighting any battles on his own! SR: Only a stupid man fights alone, Dross. One man can't make a difference -- an army can. [The lights suddenly start to flicker. The crowd goes wild!] TD: Well, here comes a one-man army! It's Deathbringer! [Uncharacteristically, Deathbringer is seen running down the aisle to the ring. Sexton, Casey, Sandman and Verhoeven vault over the steel crowd barriers and into the crowd, where they are set upon by security personnel. Meanwhile, Hardin has recovered sufficiently to stand by Cadaver's side as Deathbringer stops before them. Hardin drives a steel chair into Deathbringer's gut, and then executes the Cattle Buster DDT on the IIWF Champion, onto the exposed concrete floor! Huge heel pop! Hardin enters the ring, while Cadaver stands above Deathbringer, his eyes unwavering from the now-motionless torso of the IIWF Champion. Hardin basks in the jeers of the crowd.] SR: I told you, Dross! Even Yawnbringer can't stand up to the onslaught of Hardin and Cadaver. Next Saturday night, we're going to see a new IIWF Champion, I guarantee it! TD: Hang on -- Deathbringer just sat up! Unbelievable! Listen to this crowd! The Champion is getting to his feet, and he's standing eye to eye with Cadaver! This is incredible! [Cadaver and Deathbringer stare unblinkingly at each other in a total standoff. Hardin attacks Deathbringer from behind, and Cadaver again stands back and surveys the carnage. Big pop as suddenly Chris Quigley, Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola run down to ringside, closely followed by more officials and security, and the Jobber Justice Squad. Eventually, Cadaver and Hardin are dragged away from Deathbringer, and they make their way up the aisle to a big heel pop. Antonio and Cappicola help the Archangel to his feet; he is bloodied and shaken but not seriously injured.] TD: What incredible scenes we've seen here, folks. I can hardly even begin to imagine what we're going to see next week at Ring Wars II. SR: I can't wait, Dross. Next week, in that Casket Match, a situation like the one we've just seen could very well arise, and in the rules of the match, it would be completely legal! Deathbringer may never have lost a Casket Match in his life, but he's never been up against it like he is right now! TD: I think you'll find that Deathbringer is even more dangerous when his back's against the wall, Steve. I wouldn't want to be in Hardin's boots next Saturday night in the Hoosier Dome. I assume this match has been declared a no contest, following the controversial nature of the official's incapacitation, and all the interference. What a battle that was. SR: There's more to come, Dross. _Much_ more. TD: Well, before we go up to the ring for tonight's main event, I've just received word from the locker rooms that Fisto Flash, who was the victim of an acid attack from the Hangman earlier on tonight, has suffered minor epidermal burns on his right forearm, and his prosthesis has been severely damaged, but initial fears that his eyesight may have been impaired by the harmful vapour can now be dispelled. Fisto will certainly be fit for action next Saturday night -- although I would imagine that nothing would be able to keep him out of that ring to face the Hangman at Ring Wars II, Steve. SR: So far, the Hangman's had the upper hand in their feud. Fisto Flash had better think carefully about what he's getting himself into. TD: Indeed. Right now, it's time for our huge tag team main event! Let's go up to the ring! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The White Phoenix & "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Tiger Claw & "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, coming down the aisle accompanied by Brian Lau and representing the Syndicate, here are the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw, and the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko! [Big heel pop as fireworks explode above the entranceway, and Brian Lau leads his men out into the arena. Suddenly, Tiger Claw is attacked out of nowhere by Don Antonio, who clobbers him across the back with a baseball bat. Claw goes down, and immediately Hakiro comes to the aid of his partner, knocking Antonio to the floor with a kick. Immediately a security team runs out and drags Don Antonio back to the locker room.] SR: Now that was completely uncalled for, Dross! That doofus has absolutely no business coming out here and attacking the Champion. The front office should take away his title shot for that kind of shocking conduct. TD: I guess the Don feels that he's been on the wrong end of the baseball bat rather too much recently, and revenge sure is sweet! SR: Well, that pasta-chewing idiot is going to be left with a very sour taste in his mouth after Claw smashes his teeth in with the baseball bat in the steel cage next Saturday. [Lau helps Claw to his feet, and the IC champ continues to the ring, relatively unscathed. He and Hakiro step through the ropes, and Lau massages Claw's bruised back as Sparkplug announces the opposition:] RA: And their opponents: coming down the aisle, here are the White Phoenix and the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [Huge pop as a sheet of flame engulfs the head of the aisle, and the exciting duo of the Phoenix and Musashi burst through the dazzling pyrotechnics and run to the ring, rockets shooting over their heads and exploding above the squared circle. The image of a phoenix is cast onto the canvas by a spotlight. Chow and Musashi climb the ringsteps, and Chow steps into the ring to begin the match.] TD: What an entrance by these two high-flyers! I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like it! SR: The human torch and the Enema... wowee, I don't mean. The Phoenix is going to be extinguished, and by the end of tonight, the only enigmatic thing about Musashi is just how many bones in his body are left unbroken. Go get 'em, Syndicate! [Hakiro charges in and attacks Chow, and the two engage in a rally of martial arts chops in the centre of the ring. Hakiro attempts a kick, but Chow grabs his foot, and Matsuoko then attempts an enzuigiri, but Chow ducks, and Hakiro crashes to the mat. Big pop! Chow bounces off the ropes and drops a knee on Hakiro's throat, causing the Syndicate member to clutch at his neck and roll out of the ring. Chow sizes up his opponent, bounces off the ropes, and performs a perfect somersault over the ropes to the outside, landing squarely on the Angel of the Sun! Huge pop! Chow climbs back into the ring, and labels Tiger Claw with a punch for good measure. Claw tries to get into the ring, but is held back by the referee. Chow tags in Musashi, who runs along the apron and leaps to the top turnbuckle on the corner nearest where Matsuoko is once again picking himself up. Musashi throws himself with a splash all the way from the top buckle to the floor, and in an astonishing display of power, Matsuoko catches Musashi and slams him to the arena floor! Huge pop!] TD: That was amazing! I've never seen anything like that before! Matsuoko caught the Enigma as he threw himself down from twelve feet in the air! SR: The match between these two guys next week at Ring Wars II is going to be incredible, Dross. They use their bodies like weapons... and while it's a stupid thing to do, it sure makes for exciting wrestling! [Matsuoko rolls back into the ring and begins to taunt Chow, distracting the referee, and allowing Claw to jump to the floor and drag Musashi to his feet. He clinches Musashi's head and executes his knee fury, a volley of punishing knee shots, and Musashi goes down again. Brian Lau puts the boot in a little more while Matsuoko tags in Claw. Claw immediately goes to the outside and drags Musashi back into the ring, draping his arms over a neutral corner. He sizes up the Enigma, and then executes a devastating cartwheel kick into the corner. Musashi slumps into the middle of the ring, and Claw goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Chow makes the save! The referee forces Chow out of the ring, allowing Claw and Matsuoko some time to doubleteam Musashi. Claw tags in Matsuoko, and whips Musashi into the ropes. Claw hits Musashi with a leg lariat to the gut, and Matsuoko then kicks the Enigma in the head with his heel. Musashi goes down - 1 - 2 - Matsuoko pulls Musashi's shoulder up!] TD: Oh, give me a break! Matsuoko could have finished the Enigma right there, and he pulls his shoulder up?! Look at Brian Lau, cheering his man on. This is disgusting! SR: Matsuoko has years of bitterness pent up inside him, Dross. He's going to make that cheating lowlife Musashi pay for every second of every day of his exile from his homeland. [Matsuoko whips Musashi into the ropes and attempts a spinning leg lariat, but Musashi ducks underneath the kick, and with his last ounce of energy, flies back with a powerful flying fist, knocking Matsuoko to the mat. Both men are down as the referee begins the count - 1 - 2 - 3 - Matsuoko begins to stir, and crawls over to his corner. He tags in Tiger Claw, who enters the ring and drags Musashi to his feet before trying to whip him into his corner. However, Musashi reverses, and whips Claw into his own corner, knocking Matsuoko from the apron. Claw looks down at his fallen partner while Musashi edges towards Chow, whose arm is outstretched, waiting for the tag. The crowd chants "Enigma! Enigma!" Just as Musashi is about to make the tag, Brian Lau yells at Tiger Claw, who turns and dashes across the ring. He grabs Musashi's leg, but the Enigma lunges and makes the tag! Huge pop! Chow enters the ring, and Claw backs away, begging for mercy.] TD: This could be the turning point in the match! Musashi may be down, but so is Matsuoko! Lau can't raise him... this could spell trouble for the Syndicate! [Chow begins pummelling Claw's bruised back, and the Intercontinental Champion screams in pain as Chow rains kicks and chops down on his tender back. He whips Claw into the ropes and hits a double palm strike. Cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Claw tries to escape from the ring, but Chow drags him to his feet and whips him into the corner. He signals to the crowd for the Phoenix Strike! Big pop as Chow flies across the ring, performing a mid-air flip and connecting with a jumping spinning back leg kick!] TD: There's the Phoenix Strike! Chow could pin Claw right here... what's he doing?! SR: He's being an idiot, Dross. He could have the victory here, but he's going to tag his partner. [Claw goes down as Chow bounds to his corner to tag in Musashi, who climbs to the top rope. He raises his arms to signal for the Starsault Press, but before he can launch himself, Brian Lau drags Tiger Claw out of the ring under the bottom rope, and begins dragging both the IC champion and the still dazed Matsuoko back to the locker room area. Chow enters the ring and shouts abuse at the Syndicate as they back off up the aisle. The referee counts them out - 8 - 9 - 10! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners as the result of a countout, the White Phoenix, and the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [Big pop as the referee raises the arms of Chow and Musashi, who shake hands, but seem unhappy with the manner of their victory. Fireworks explode above the ring as the two men each climb the turnbuckles and raise their arms to the crowd. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: Once again, the Syndicate decide that discretion is the better part of valour, but you and I know that Chow and Musashi had Tiger Claw finished right there, Steve. SR: We know nothing of the sort, Dross. Tiger Claw could kick out of that Starsault Press. TD: Well, that's pure speculation, Steve, but you must admit that Chow and Musashi make a pretty impressive partnership! All action, perpetual motion assault! What a match. SR: They're all right, but they don't match up to the might of the Syndicate... and that might's really going to be in evidence next Saturday night at Ring Wars II, you mark my words! TD: We are only seven days away from Ring Wars II, folks! IIWF Saturday Night will return in two weeks, when we'll be coming at you live from the IIWF Coliseum with that big IIWF Championship match -- the winner of this Wednesday night's Battle Lines Battle Royal getting a shot at whomever the Champion is after Ring Wars II. It's going to be an incredible week here in the IIWF, so make sure you don't miss a moment of the action! This Tuesday sees the launch of a new format Control Centre Update, hosted by Larry Morton and Becky LaRue, and those two will also be on hand on Wednesday night for Midweek Mayhem. I'll be bringing you a live report from the Hoosier Dome this coming Friday, and on Saturday night, get ready for the second coming as Ring Wars II explodes onto your screen! Well, we're right out of time here tonight, folks. It's been a tremendous night of action... for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut back to Musashi and Chow celebrating in the ring as fireworks continue to explode high above the ring. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+