[Promotional consideration has been paid for by the following] Coors Light: The Silver Bullet "Catch the Rockies..." [The sun sets majestically behind the Rocky Mountains, the 14,000 foot peaks silouetted against the light. Voice over:] TD: The West. Where the land and the weather are both unforgiving. Only the strong survive. [Cut to a shot of a snowslide avalanching down a mountainside destroying everything in its path.] TD: The IIWF. Where the champions are unforgiving. Only the strong survive. [Cut to interior shots of the empty McNichols Arena, an IIWF ring picked out of the silent shadows by a bank of spotlights above the squared circle. The camera pans around the scene. Voice over:] LM: The wrestling ring -- scene of countless battles between good and evil. Its battlefield stands unscathed and untouched... for now. [A low rumbling noise crescendos to an explosion, and the screen flashes as images rapidly pass across it: Otto Verhoeven executing his Slaughterslam; Dan Kauffman executing his Powerplant spinebuster; the Outlaw J.W. Hardin executing the Cattle Buster; the Subway Psycho performing his De-railer; Chris Quigley locking on the Quickstriker... the flashes go on as the voice over continues:] LM: But tonight, fourteen of the most powerful men in the world of wrestling will step into the breach once more, not as friends, but as enemies. Friendships and alliances will go out of the window. Every man must stand alone in the Battle Lines Battle Royal, where the last man standing is guaranteed a shot at the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion next weekend. The war starts tonight, on IIWF Midweek Mayhem! [The opening graphics explode onto the screen.] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- + LIVE! + McNichols Arena, Denver, Colorado + Wednesday 9 October 1996 [The graphics shake and shatter, revealing interior shots of the McNichols Arena. Brightly coloured spotlights dance across the capacity crowd as fireworks explode high in the rafters. One fan, who looks old enough to know better, lunges in front of the camera. He frantically waves a hand lettered sign reading "Fort Collins Loves Billy Shakespeare!". The camera quickly pans to Larry Morton and Becky LaRue, who are standing at the announcers' table.] LM: Welcome everybody to Denver, Colorado! We're coming to you live and loud from the McNichols Arena, and we are just three days away from IIWF Ring Wars II! I'm Larry Morton, and beside me, as always, is the stunning Becky LaRue. What do you think of Denver, Becky? BL: Funny thing about this town Larry. Ever since we've arrived, I've been sucking a lot of... LM: BECKY! BL: ...wind. The thin air at this altitude is unbearable. LM: Um right, the altitude. Well, Becky, we're at just over 5,200 feet. That's why Denver is called "The Mile High City". BL: Fancy that. Now I'm a member of the "Mile High Club" in more than one way. LM: It's an important consideration that you mentioned. Many of the competitors in our Battle Lines Battle Royal here tonight are from much lower elevations: Man of Steel, Randy Acorn, and Dan Kauffman to name a few. Lack of oxygen robs a competitor of stamina. For example, Simon Lebec, who is from Southern California, may find that he can't keep it up the way he's used to. BL: Which will just ruin his mail order business. LM: That battle royal is going to be quite a match, that's for sure. Fourteen of the IIWF's top athletes -- including the Subway Psycho, Chris Quigley, the Enigma, "Painbringe" Billy Sexton, Otto Verhoeven, Casey James and more -- battling it out for a shot at the IIWF Champion, whomever that might be, after Ring Wars II. The question on many lips tonight, however, is whether Dan Kauffman is even going to show up for the match. BL: He hasn't been seen since he was shut in that casket last week by the Outlaw J.W. Hardin and Cadaver. I don't know why everyone has such a problem with the Outlaw -- he's done a great service to humanity by ridding us of Dan Kauffman. LM: Knowing Dan Kauffman, he won't miss an opportunity to wrestle for a shot at the IIWF Championship. I'm sure he'll be here in time. We've got some other great matches coming up tonight, including a once-only partnership of IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, and his brother in wit, the Punster, as they go up against the Aces of the Deep. BL: Oh, wowee. I can hardly wait. LM: But there's more, Becky! In two non-title matches, IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces, will be taking on the Atomic Destroyers, and IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deathbringer, will be in action as he battles the self-proclaimed "English sensation", Robski. BL: Much as I dislike Yobski, I hope he softens up Yawnbringer tonight. Mind you, the chump's got to be smarting from that attack at the hands of Hardin and Cadaver on Saturday Night, and I would be very surprised if Hardin isn't in the arena tonight. Deathbringer's days are numbered, Larry, and he's down to his last three. LM: The Casket Match between the Outlaw J.W. Hardin and Deathbringer is possibly one of the most eagerly-anticipated matches of all time, and it's coming at you this Saturday night, live from the Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana! Call your local cable operator now to order Ring Wars II! BL: Okay, okay. Enough, already. LM: Before we go up to the ring for tonight's first live match, let's recap on the encounters we've already seen go down before coming on air tonight: - PRISONER #109 defeated "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER, forcing him to submit to his Prisoner Execution mandible claw. P109 was accompanied to the ring by his teammate for his tag team match at the Free For All, Magus, and the demented duo caused no small problems for Bomber. Despite starting well with a high-powered offense, Bomber soon succumbed to the cheating tactics of P109 and his partner in crime, Magus. Magus tripped Bomber on the outside, and when Bomber turned to confront the madman, P109 applied the Prisoner Execution, and there's nowhere to go once that hold's cinched in. P109 refused to release the hold, and it was only when Archangel came down to the ring that he bailed out, both he and Magus taking off through the crowd. Thank heavens for Archangel, Becky. BL: Is that supposed to be funny, Larry? Archangel's going to find out what purgatory's all about when he and the Pukester get into the ring to face the Partners in Crime, as you called them, on the Free For All this Saturday night. LM: It's going to be a tremendous match, that's for sure. Don't forget, folks, as well as Ring Wars II itself, we'll also be bringing you the IIWF's first ever Free For All, which will include three tremendous matches. More on that later on tonight. However, before we get to the action, there have been some interesting developments in the Man Of Steel saga. We received word that Steel was on a flight to Denver early this morning, and we sent a camera crew to meet him as he disembarked. Let's go to that footage: MOS: [ignoring the last question] I was not at Midweek Mayhem following my accident, and have now only just returned. I have made my decision and I will not be retiring from action, as I had considered. REPORTER2: Do you have a drug problem? REPORTER3: Have you now only just returned from an alcohol and drug addiction clinic? REPORTER4: Are you going to answer any of these questions? MOS: Well, it seems that you all have a lot of questions to put to me. This is obviously not the time or place for such things. I shall arrange a press conference where you will all be able to satify your curiosities. You will be imformed of the time and place. BB: Dat's all people. Let da big man through. An' before ya ask, I 'ave no comment! [Cut back to ringside.] LM: Well, folks, the Man Of Steel doesn't look too much like a heavy-drinking drug addict to me. BL: These people become skilled at putting on a brave face, Larry. Underneath that sickening exterior lies a sick man. LM: I'm not too sure about that, Becky. That press conference went down late this afternoon, and I was on hand to hear from Steel himself. [Cut to a convention room. The Man of Steel and Bibbo Bibowski stand on a podium at the front of a crowded press conference. Many reporters are here, as is Larry Morton.] LM: Here we are at the Balfour Royal Hotel in downtown Denver. Man Of Steel arrived in Colorado this morning, and this is his promised press conference. But let's get to the podium... I think this is about to get underway. [Camera flashes keep going off as Bibbo steps up to the microphone:] BB: Uhhh hmmmm. Okay people. Da Man of Steel is ready to answer ya questions. He asks, however, dat ya let him say a few words first. Over to you, big man. MOS: Okay. Thanks for all coming here. I know that you all must have many questions to put to me. I will answer all of these in just a minute. Firstly, I would just like to explain myself. I have just reviewed the tapes of my alleged match with "Royalty of the Streets" Sabin Figaro. I have to say that that was not me in there. I have been in Kansas visiting with my parents following my car crash in Philadelphia. Having recovered reasonably well, I should be able to dispense with my mask in the next few weeks. I looked at the performance of this "other" Man of Steel that you all saw at Mayhem, and am disgusted with the depths that Robski can stoop to. This is obviously one of his schemes, and this is hurting the fans more than it is me. Right, I've said my piece. I'll now answer all of the questions that you have for me. REPORTER1: Hello, Steel. Are you an alcholic? MOS: I am not an alcholic, and I don't even drink. What Casey James has said is totaly untrue. REPORTER1: So you were not over the legal blood-alcohol limit when you crashed? MOS: No. The car crash I was involved in concerned a car careering into the side of me. I had the right of way, and he didn't stop. That's all there is to it. That matter is now with the police. REPORTER2: Have you or do you currently have an alliance with the English Sensation, Robski? MOS: I have never had any dealings with Robski and I can't see that I ever would. I represent what he despises. I stand for all of the people of our great country, which he despises. I am definitely not involved with Robski. The only contact that we have will be when I avenge the great fans of the IIWF at Ring Wars II in Wargames. REPORTER3: Are you turning your back on the fans? Your actions recently have seemed to suggest this. MOS: Like I said, you refer to the other Man of Steel that wrestled Sabin Figaro. That was not me! And as to whether I would turn my back on the fans, never! The fans are why I wrestle. I am there to show them that people like Robski should not be respected. Do you want your kids to look up to a man like him? REPORTER4: So you ask them to look up to you? An alleged junkie and alcholic? MOS: Casey James will be hearing from my attorney concerning that matter. Both of these statements are completely false. I have never used any drugs, and never will do. Please, no more questions about this. REPORTER5: Why? Are you afraid that we will find out the truth? MOS: You already know the truth. I just feel that I have spoken enough about Casey James' lies. Why give him any more satisfaction? REPORTER 6: Will you be at Ring Wars II and WarGames? MOS: I will be there. I will stand by my teammates and we will walk out of those double caged rings victorious. These recent events have me even more determined going into this match. Robski -- you are in trouble right now. REPORTER7: Why have we not heard from you recently? MOS: I have already said where I have been. Maybe you should be asking Robski the same question. Does he realise that his game is up? BB: Sorry guys. We're out a time 'ere. Steel has got ta get back inta trainin' for Ring Wars. [The reporters all begin asking questions at once. Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: Well, Becky, that seems fairly conclusive to me. BL: I couldn't agree more. The Man of Squeal is in denial. He can't believe the monstrous hollow shell of a man he's become, and he refuses to accept the truth. LM: Oh, come on! It wasn't the real Steel wrestling Sabin Figaro... just some imposter. BL: Did it look like an imposter to you, Becky? LM: Well, no, but he was wearing a mask... BL: Maybe so, but those bloodshot eyes are recognisable anywhere. LM: We'll find out for sure later on tonight -- Steel will be in that huge Battle Lines Battle Royal! [The timekeeper's bell rings.] Right now, it's time to get up to the ring for tonight's first live match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare & The Punster vs. Aces of the Deep -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the spotlight in the ring. A small pocket of fans begin a "Spark - plug! Spark - plug!" chant. He bows modestly before raising the microphone:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 487lbs, here is the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, and his partner, the Punster! ["Little Willie" starts up over the PA, and the crowd pops large as Billy and the Punster appear at the head of the aisle. Billy bows to the crowd, and the Punster pushes a wheelchair out onto the walkway. Tied and gagged in the chair is Jasmine, Robski's girlfriend!] BL: This is horrendous! What's that moron doing?! LM: I guess Jasmine was getting bored of those same four walls, and asked the Punster for a change of scenery. BL: The Punster's going to pay for this, Larry. Ever since he kidnapped Jasmine, I've wanted to throttle that little doofus even more than usual. LM: The Punster and Shakespeare are among the most popular athletes in the IIWF today, Becky. They've been friends for some time, but we've never seen them team up until now. BL: And it's just as well. I, for one, don't find their ridiculous antics very funny. LM: Well, the fans of the IIWF would beg to differ, and so would I. BL: Are you disagreeing with me, Larry? LM: Er... yes? BL: Wrong answer. LM: Aaaarrrrggghhhh! BL: What's that you say, Larry? LM: Foot... pain... aaaarrrghhh... BL: Let's go back up to that geek, Sparkplug. [The Punster pulls a small bag out from his tights and offers it to Sparkplug Lee. The ring announcer looks bemused, but takes the bag.] BL: Oh, please. Let me guess, that was "an-ounce-a" sugar. Give me a break. [Sparkplug puts the bag in his pocket, and raises the microphone again:] RA: And introducing their opponents: hailing from Depth City, USA, at a combined weight of 529lbs, here are Sam "Shark" Summers and Peter "Piranha" Pouls, the Aces of the Deep! [Moderate pop for Shark and Piranha as they make their way to the ring, hi-fiving the fans as they come. One fan holds up a sign which reads: "It's Of-fish-al! The Deepsters Rule!"] BL: It takes a special kind of moron to like these guys. How you doing there, Larry? LM: ....aaaak.... BL: Oh, I'm sorry, was I standing on your foot? Silly little me. LM: ....aaaak. That hurt! BL: Perhaps I shouldn't wear heels any more. Perhaps I should wear those big floppy _clown_ shoes instead! LM: Waah! Where? Where? BL: Don't have an aneurism, Larry. Let's watch the match, shall we? [Piranha, the larger of the Aces, starts things off against Billy. The two men circle one another, and finally lock up collar and elbow. Piranha easily overpowers Billy, and pushes him to the ground. Billy picks himself up and looks out to the crowd, nodding. The two men lock up again, and this time, Billy uses his speed to twist one of Piranha's arms behind his back in a hammerlock. Piranha bends down, trying to escape the hold, but Billy hooks Piranha's neck and leg, and executes a standing faceslam on the big man. He goes for the cover - 1 - Piranha kicks out with authority, sending Billy several feet into the air. Piranha goes to his corner and tags in Shark.] LM: Shakespeare's superior speed is going to be a factor in this match, Becky. BL: One thing to bear in mind, though, Larry, is the aroma factor. The Haddocks of the Deep stink like so much rotten old fish, and I'm not just referring to their wrestling talents. It takes a pretty stern stomach to get in such close proximity with them. LM: Oh. So that smell is the Aces of the Deep, is it? BL: What else would it be? LM: I thought you might be trying out some new Eau de Poisson fragra... Aaargh! Don't pinch me! BL: You little worm. [Shark charges Shakespeare, and Billy sends him to the mat with a drop toehold, before locking on an armbar. Shark tries to free himself by grabbing at Billy's hair, but the referee ensures that the hold is clean. Shark inches towards the ropes, and after thirty seconds in the hold, finally grabs the bottom rope. The referee calls for the break, and Billy obliges. Shark pulls himself to his feet, and then charges Billy again. Billy executes a neat armdrag takedown, and reapplies the armbar.] LM: We're seeing some good sound mat wrestling from Billy here, Becky. BL: Any more sound, and I'll be sound asleep. I thought the point with these runtweights is that they're all action. LM: Well, talented athletes like Billy Shakespeare can mix it up any way he has to. [Shakespeare eventually releases the hold, and yanks the arm, straining the shoulder muscles. He keeps hold of the arm and wrings it as he walks over to his corner and tags in the Punster, who leaps into the ring and drops a double axe-handle on Shark's strained arm. The Punster whips Shark into the ropes, and connects with an impressive standing dropkick, sending Shark out of the ring through the ropes. Piranha goes to tend to his partner, while the Punster mimes reeling in a big catch with a fishing rod in the centre of the ring. When Shark climbs back through the ropes, the Punster makes like he doesn't like the look of his catch, and clotheslines Shark over the top rope to the outside once more. Big pop! The Punster showboats for the crowd.] BL: Give me a break. This guy is such a dweeb. LM: I think he's pretty funny, Becky. BL: You're the kind of guy who thinks "Beavis and Butthead" is funny, Larry. LM: Huhuhuh... cool. BL: I beg your pardon? LM: Er, nothing. [The Punster goes to the ropes and starts to pull Shark back up to the apron. Shark, however, has other ideas, and rams his shoulder into the Punster's midsection, staggering the Atlantan. Shark performs a sunset flip into the ring, and brings the Punster down for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Shark is quickly back to his feet, and whips the Punster into the ropes, connecting with a beautifully executed Frankensteiner! Big pop! Shark goes for another cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Again, he whips the Punster into the ropes, and hits with a dropkick. As the Punster staggers to his feet, Shark tags Piranha back in, and the big man goes to work on the witty wordsmith with a bulldog. Another cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] LM: The Punster's little tricks appear to have backfired. He needs to get out of the ring as soon as he can. [There is a commotion at the head of the aisle as Robski forces his way past an ineffectual band of security personnel.] BL: It was only a matter of time, Larry. The Punster's going to take a serious beating now! [Big heel pop as Robski charges down the aisle. Billy Shakespeare tries to confront him, but is whipped into the steel ringsteps by the irate Englishman. Robski ungags and unties Jasmine, and the grateful young woman embraces Robski in floods of tears.] LM: Oh, what a touching reunion, I don't mean. Robski treats that girl just as badly as the Punster has. BL: But Jasmine loves Robski, Larry. She's a fool, but you can't tell her, and heaven knows, I've tried. [Having established that Jasmine is fine, Robski leaps straight into the ring and begins beating on the Punster, raining punches and kicks down onto his prone victim. The referee immediately signals for the bell, and tries to force Robski away, but fails, and is thrown to the ground.] LM: Oh, he laid hands on an official! That's a big fine right there! BL: I don't think Robski cares about fines right now... oh-oh, here comes a trouble twin-pack! It's the Partners in Crime! [Magus and Prisoner #109 are picked out by spotlights in the crowd, making their way back towards the ringside enclosure, with security personnel still in pursuit. They vault the barriers and enter the ring, joining with Robski in beating on the Punster. Robski executes a vicious Powerbomb, and Magus follows suit. P109 then applies the Prisoner Execution on the Punster in the middle of the ring while Magus and Robski fight off the Aces of the Deep. Billy drags himself to his feet on the outside, and rolls under the bottom rope to aid his fallen comrade. Magus swats Shakespeare away, clotheslining him back out of the ring over the top rope. P109 still has the Prisoner Execution on the Punster as Robski and Magus continue to rain kicks to his midsection.] LM: This is appalling! What a brutal attack! We need help out here right now! [As if on cue, the huge Archangel comes lumbering down the aisle and rolls into the ring. Magus and P109 bail out immediately as Archangel grabs Robski by the throat. Huge pop as Archangel chokeslams Robski! The big man turns his attentions to Magus and P109 as Robski is pulled from the ring by Jasmine, and the Partners in Crime take off into the crowd once more. Archangel steps over the top rope, down to the floor, over the barrier, and takes off in pursuit.] LM: Order has been restored by the Archangel for the second time tonight! But it looks like he may have arrived a little too late... the Punster is motionless in there. [Billy again enters the ring to tend to his partner, and fails to rouse him. The referee signals to the timekeeper, who rings the bell, and a team of paramedics make their way down to ringside.] LM: This is terrible, folks. I do hope the Punster isn't seriously injured. BL: He sure got his just desserts there, Larry. And it wasn't salmon mousse, either. Hehehehehehehe... snort. LM: That's not funny, Becky. BL: You're not disagreeing with me again, are you, Larry? LM: Certainly not. Ha ha. BL: That's better. LM: Well, folks, the Punster is being stretchered from the ring, and Billy Shakespeare looks very concerned. I do hope this isn't any indication of things to come here, folks. [The Punster is stretchered from the arena, Billy Shakespeare following behind. The crowd is hushed.] LM: Okay, let's try and put that brutal attack out of our minds. We'll bring you an update on the condition of the Punster later on in tonight's broadcast. For now, let's go backstage to hear from the man who will team up with the Punster this Saturday Night, the Archangel: [Cut to Archangel, who sits in a padded cell wearing a straitjacket.] A: Magus, Prisoner 109, you may ask yourselves why I'm doing this. It's to prepare for the Free For All. I'm going to show the world just how crazy the Archangel can be. I'm going to show the world how unpredictable the Angelic One can be. At Ring Wars II, it's going to be the Book of Revelations for the heels of the IIWF, and Archangel, the Angelic One, is going to personally crucify everyone. [Cut back to ringside.] LM: And if the Punster isn't fit to wrestle this Saturday Night, the Archangel could well be left with the task of dealing with the Partners in Crime singlehanded. I'm sure we'll have more news on the condition of the Punster later on. Right now, let's go backstage to the locker room of the Atomic Destroyers as they prepare to face the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Armed Forces. [Cut to the Atomic Destroyers' locker room. The Hangman enters carrying a large bag.] TH: Now, boys, I told you that good and bad things come in bags. So do not be afraid of this one. The time we spent out at Wales' Ranch was productive. You boys have earned what's in this bag. And when the rest of the IIWF -- including the Armed Forces -- sees what I have for you, all hell should break loose... or should that be noose? Steriod: Thanks Hangman, but let us see what you have! [The Hangman takes two brand new Hangman's nooses out of the bag and gives one each to Larn and Steriod.] Larn: I knew it... The training and the special events that we have been to has paid off. Hangman, I know that noone has ever recieved a Hangman's Noose from you to keep. You have applied the noose in trade but never given one to anyone. Steriod: Armed Forces, you had better be ready, I think you may not make it to Ring Wars II. [The Atomic Destroyers hold the ropes towards the camera. Cut back to ringside.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Armed Forces vs. Atomic Destroyers -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: This is going to be the last match the champions will be in before the gruelling triple tag team match at Ring Wars II. You've got to wonder about what's going through Aaron the Caddy's mind right now. BL: Well, I would guess that he's showing off his champs. I have to agree with you, though... I don't think this is such a good idea. LM: You agree with me? Wow. BL: Yeah, well, don't dwell on it for too long. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this non-title tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 715 pounds and accompanied to the ring by the High Plains Drifters, here are Larn and Steroid, The Atomic Destroyers! [The crowd boos as the two teams make their way down the aisle. Larn, Steroid, Pale Rider, and Easy Rider look like old friends as they make their way to the ring, and crack jokes that gets the group laughing.] LM: Wait a minute... The High Plains Drifters coming to the ring with The Atomic Destroyers? BL: Yes, Larry. Do I have to explain the idea of a summit? LM: Well, actually... BL: Just shut up and watch... RA: Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 643 pounds, and accompanied to the ring by Aaron the Caddy... They are the IIWF world Tag Team Champions. They are NavCom, DefCon, The Armed Forces! [Sizeable heel pop as the champs walk the aisle. They see the four men waiting in the ring, and begin to complain about the situation being unfair. Aaron calms them down and leads them to the ring.] LM: I think this situation is going to be all bad for the Armed Forces. They don't have anyone to call their friends here... BL: Yowch. I don't envy them... I'll be really impressed if they get through this _and_ keep the belts at Ring Wars... [The HPD leave the ring, as does Aaron the Caddy. Larn starts off against DefCon, and Steroid and NavCom wait on the apron. The two big men come chest to chest and face to face in the middle of the ring. Larn towers over DefCon, and spits insults in his face. DefCon throws a punch, and connects with Larn's head. Larn staggers back, and DefCon follows up with a forearm shot. Larn backs up to the ropes, and DefCon whips him across the ring. Larn rebounds off the ropes, ducks a clothesline, and retaliates with a Cross body block. DefCon is unable to overcome the momentum of the huge Destroyer, and falls back into a pinning predicament... 1 - 2 - Kickout by DefCon. Larn gets up, and drags DefCon to his feet. He slams a few European uppercuts into DefCon, which forces the champ into the corner. Larn whips DefCon across to the other corner, and attempts to follow up with a splash. DefCon moves out of the way, and Larn slams head first into the turnbuckle. DefCon staggers over to his corner, and tags in NavCom.] LM: Good move from DefCon. He was taking a pummelling there. BL: Yeah, but look at how tiny NavCom looks compared to the Destroyers. I can't picture him getting much of an offense. [Larn is still in the corner as NavCom rushes into the ring. He dropkicks Larn, which snaps the Destroyer's head back. NavCom executes a snap suplex with a bit of trouble. Larn hits the mat, but NavCom stops and puts a hand to his back. Larn capitalizes on the stalling, and tags in his partner. Steroid lumbers into the ring, and lays some boots to NavCom's back, which seem to be quite effective. Steroid then executes a powerbomb to a big pop. Navcom is then locked into a reverse chinlock, which causes a bit of shouting. DefCon rallies behind his partner, and Aaron the Caddy jumps up on the apron. Before the ref sees Aaron, Easy Rider walks over and pulls him from the apron, then gives him a stiff right fist to the head. DefCon sees this and jumps from the apron to protect his manager.] BL: Here we go. We all knew something like this would happen. LM: Just one match... Really... I'd love to see one match with no outside action. [DefCon pushes Easy away from Aaron, who clutches his face, and Pale comes in to stand behind his partner. The two members of the HPD jump DefCon, and he's no match for the two tough cowboys. In the ring, Steroid lets go of the chinlock and slaps on a camel clutch. At that moment, Heavy Metal run down to ringside, and then, a few seconds later, Stunt Team USA run to the ring. Atlas of Heavy Metal clocks Steroid, as Apollo attacks Larn. STUSA come to the aid of DefCon by taking on both of the HPD. The ref frantically calls for the bell, but it doesn't seem to make much difference. Heavy Metal and the Atomic Destroyers go at it in the ring, occasionally tripping over NavCon, who lies on the mat, and STUSA pair off against HPD. DefCon staggers over to NavCom, and pulls him out of the ring. NavCom's back seems tender, as he holds it and winces with every movement. The champs collect their manager and walk up the aisle a bit to watch the fight.] BL: There's the strategy for the triple tag match. They've got to get their opposing teams to fight it out, and get one of them eliminated. Then they can take on the exhausted remaining team while they're still fresh. LM: But what if all the teams go into that match with the same game plan? BL: Well, it'd be a pretty boring match, I think. [STUSA gets the upper hand with HPD, and they throw Pale and Easy Rider into each other. The two cowboys recoil backwards, and get backdropped at the same time by STUSA. Big crowd pop. STUSA showboat to the crowd and begin to walk toward the aisle, and DefCom moves to thank them for their help. Ron and Steve are about to say "no problem" or something when DefCom labels them with a double clothesline. STUSA goes down to the floor, and the Armed Forces walk back to the locker room area with their arms raised. In the ring, Heavy Metal and the Atomic Destroyers continue to slug at each other, but nobody seems to get the upper hand. A group of officials led by Poutine Janois run to the ring to separate the two teams. The officials have no luck restraining the four huge men, so the Jobber Justice Squad is called in. About 15 jobbers storm the ring, and something resembling order is restored.] BL: Look at all the losers... I can't recall even seeing some of those guys in the ring... LM: All that matters is that they stopped that fight between those four huge men. BL: I could have handled seeing it go on a bit longer... Hey... Poutine Janois' suit looks particularly ill-fitting tonight... LM: And that hair... BL: Looks almost as bad as the Stunt Team's chances on Saturday night... Twice there's been this situation, and both times they thought they were teaming up with one of the other teams. And both times they got beaten up for their troubles. Go home, guys. [As if on cue, Ron and Steve collect themselves, and angrily go back to the backstage area. The two teams in the ring are sent out one at a time to prevent any more fights, and the camera closes back in on the broadcast table.] LM: We've just gotten word from ringside that the match was awarded to the Atomic Destroyers, since the first outside attack on someone in the ring was when Atlas hit Steroid. Well, Ring Wars II is going to see a lot of hot tag action, that's for sure! BL: Yes, these teams just can't wait to get at each other's throats. LM: I've just received word from the locker room that the Punster has had to be taken to hospital. The medical team here has diagnosed a possible ruptured spleen, as well as several cracked ribs, and severe bruising. Initial estimates state that he will be out of action for six to eight weeks, providing there are no complications. BL: Oh well, it's "spleen" nice knowing you, Punster! Hehehehehehehe... snort. LM: That really isn't funny, Becky. Well, clearly the Punster's injury is going to have an impact on the card for the Free For All this Saturday Night, since the Punster was scheduled to team with Archangel to face Prisoner #109 and Magus. We'll have to wait and see what decision the IIWF President comes to concerning that match. BL: Oh yeah, really interesting. LM: Please, Becky. Show a little compassion. BL: A little what? LM: [sighs] Let's go up to "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, who's here in the McNichols Arena tonight to interview "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. BL: Aw, give him hell, Steve! [Cut to "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, who is standing on a platform in mid-arena, with microphone in hand.] SR: Listen up and listen good! The powers that be seem to get a kick out of handing me these kind of assignments... but the man I am about to interview... claims to be the BEST wrestler in the IIWF -- no, the WORLD today. He likes to think of himself as a loner, a rebel, so to speak, when it's just that the other wrestlers hate his guts. He is the man I call "Hot Air".... "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! ["For Those About to Rock" by AC/DC starts up and the crowd responds with a tremendous pop, as a fireworks go off as soon as Quigley appears from behind the curtain, wearing his black and silver wrestling attire, with a black leather jacket and his silver wire rimmed shades. The Quickstrike laser symbol shines on the aisleway:] ______ / _ _ \ / / \/ \ \ | \_/\_/ | \ /\ / |______| |||||||| ________ |______| ________ /_____ /______ ______\ _____\ /______ /__\ ______\ ____/ ____ \_____ /_______\ /_______/ [Quigley slaps a few hands and signs a few posters before hopping up onto the platform next to Roberts.] SR: Let's get this over with, Quigley. First of all, there has been a lot of talk as of late... that you have been less than easy to get along with on your little Wargames team. Do you feel your massive ego will be your undoing in this event? CQ: Y'know, I expect those kind of moronic questions from you! Ego? Wrestling is the sports of EGOS! I ooze confidence, I won't deny it, but I have earned it! Through what I have done in the past, and through what I've done here already! Seven wins and two controversial losses are the tale of the tape in the IIWF. You wanna argue with statistics, Roberts? And as for our Wargames team, it's going fine. Sure, we are gonna have a few personality clashes, but with myself and Dan Kauffman fronting the team, there is NO WAY we are going down! I don't know WHAT Billy Shakespeare's problem is. He calls my career chaos? Let me tell you something, Shakespeare. If you accomplish HALF of what I have in my career, you'll have done pretty damn good for yourself! I'm all for winning this thing. I've teamed many times before, even held a tag team title with my one time friend Zack Malone. What you see is what you get, no matter where it is, and what you see is the #1 wrestler in the world today. BAR NONE! [crowd pop] SR: Okay, whatever. Anyway, I see Simon Lebec is visiting that mudhole you call a hometown, and the natives are really... how shall we say it? Hell, why pull any punches? They're ILLITERATE LOSERS! CQ: You just demonstrated your ignorance by falling for this idiotic plot from Lebec in the first place! I can't say I expected any more of you, Roberts. If Simon Lebec wanted to get my attention, he did a damn good job! But what I wanna know is, WHY he would wanna get my attention?! There is one thing I'm after ultimately, here in the IIWF. And that is the World title! First Otto Verhoeven stepped in my way, not to mention Randy Acorn. But Acorn fell, and Verhoeven will fall as well. First in the NCWF, and soon enough in the IIWF as well. I'm gonna tie Otto Verhoeven into a pretzel and kick his ass all the way to the concession stand! As for Lebec? He got me riled, and that was NOT a good thing to do! You want me? You got me! But as they say, you shoulda been careful for what you wished for, because you just might get it! And you ARE gonna get it! Trust me! SR: What about that little rumour about you and Marty Warnett, eh? CQ: Why the hell would I respond to something THAT stupid? Of course... I AM responding to YOU... SR: HEY! Watch it, Quigley! You don't wanna get on my bad side! CQ: [grabs the microphone] You don't even have a good side, Roberts! Listen, and listen good. I've had it with distractions, and distractions, and MORE distractions. The time has come for me to show each and every person who gets in my face that I mean business, and I am NOT gonna tolerate and more crap! Anyone who wants me? I'm not a hard guy to find! Just look in the yellow pages under "ass kickers"! I'm outta here! ["For Those About to Rock" starts up again. Big pop! Quigley slams the microphone down on the platform and walks back down the aisle, slapping a few hands, almost absent-mindedly, before disappearing behind the curtain, as Roberts watches in disgust. He signals to the director to cut, and walks off the platform. Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: Wow, give him hell, Steve. You sure showed Quigley. BL: Shut up, Larry. Let's go to the next match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Deathbringer vs. Robski =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: We're going to see a non-title matchup between the champion, Deathbringer, and the self-proclaimed English Sensastion, Robski. What do you think, Becky? BL: I think you're a boob. LM: About the match, I mean. BL: Oh... Well, I'm no fan of Deathbringer, you know that. But I think I'm even less of a fan of Robski. I can't see myself being overcome with happiness in this match. LM: Well, it's a good thing you're impartial. RA: Ladies and Gentlemen, this non title match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 335 lbs and hailing from Birmingham, England, accompanied to the ring by Jasmine, here is Roskiiiiiii!!! [Robski appears at the end of the aisle with a tight grip of Jasmine. As fans try to touch the two, Robski gets more and more annoyed, and begins yelling at the crowd. The duo get to ringside, where Robski grabs a chair, sets it down, and orders Jasmine to "sit right there, and don't move." Jasmine does.] LM: Well, I thought Robski would be a bit more happy at getting Jasmine back. BL: The guy's an idiot. Just a reminder of why I don't like him. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 324lbs and hailing from The Dark Side [crowd pops] The current IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deeeeaaaaathbrinnnngerrr! [The lights drop, and the video wall explodes in a shower of sparks. The crowd pops so loud it's almost deafening, and the lights come on again. Deathbringer stands in the middle of the ring, ready to start the match. Robski vaults over the top rope to the floor, and Deathbringer points a finger towards him. The crowd pops as Deathbringer draws a thumb across his throat.] LM: As always, an impressive entrance by Deathbringer. BL: Well, it's just not as breathtaking when everyone else can do it too... Tiger Claw, Joe Latta, Cadaver, J.W. Hardin... They've all figured it out. [Robski enters the ring, and the ref signalls for the bell, calling the start of the match. Robski seems quite intimidated by the imposing figure in the center of the ring, but finally musters up enough courage to rush the champ. Deathbringer catches Robski's head in the Death Claw, and Robski's arms an legs begin to flail around. Deathbringer looks to the cheering crowd, then trows Robski into the corner. Deathbringer methodically stalks into the corner and begins laying chops across Robski's chest. The crowd pops larger with each slapping sound. Suddenly, the crowd gives a heel pop as J.W. Hardin comes down the aisle.] LM: Oh, no! Here comes the devil! BL: That was so poetic, Larry... [Hardin walks straight to the broadcaster's table, applauding Deathbringer as he does so. Hardin steps behind Larry Morton and slaps him across the head, soliciting an "oof!" from Larry. Hardin takes off Larry's headset and puts it on, leaving Larry to scurry for the spare set. Hardin sits down. In the ring, Deathbringer whips Robski into the opposite corner and follows in with a killer splash.] BL: Mr. Hardin, let me welcome you to ringside. JWH: It's always a pleasure to be in the company of the lovely Becky LaRue, the most impartial broadcaster in professional wrestling today. How does it feel to sit next to a _real_ man at Midweek Madness for a change, Becky? BL: [giggles] Thankyou, Mr. Hardin. JWH: Don't mention it, Becky. I just wanted to get one last look at my opponent before Saturday night. I must say that for his calibre of talent, he's doing okay. Of course, that won't be good enough to take me. [Deathbringer notices Hardin at the table, and stops for a moment, allowing Robski to recuperate on the mat. Deathbringer motions at Hardin to come in the ring now if he's going to at all.] JWH: Whoa... Not just yet, big man. You see, I don't understand why Deathbringer is so anxious to get his ass whipped. I've beat him on every level. Mental, psychological, physical... Everywhere Deathbringer turns, I'm right there. LM: [putting on the new headset] So you think you'll be champion in a few days? JWH: Larry, I already _am_ the champion. I don't need that belt. This isn't about the title that Deathbringer holds. It's about two men fighting for their causes. Deathbringer is my demon, and I'm gonna face him. [Deathbringer continues to shout at Hardin, and Robski comes from behind with a double axehandle across DB's shoulders. Deathbringer winces in pain, then turns slowly to face Robski. Robski throws his hands up, but Deathbringer has none of it and grabs Robski by the throat. He hoists the big Englishman up in a chokeslam. The crowd pops as Robski is driven into the mat. Deathbringer looks toward Hardin and motions that this could be him, and then sets Robski up for the Burial. Big pop as Robski hits the mat and Deathbringer goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding! Big Pop!] LM: What an impressive display by the champion. Mr. Hardin, do you honestly think you're going to have an easy time on Saturday? JWH: Did I ever say it was going to be easy? I'd be lying if I did. Saturday is going to be a battle. Good and evil, Larry. That's a fight that never has a clean victory. BL: I can't believe you asked him that, Larry. You're such an idiot. [Deathbringer stands in the ring, waiting for Hardin to run in. Hardin just sits at the table, shrugging his shoulders and saying "What?" Deathbringer waits for a while longer, then points at Hardin, then turns his thumb to point downward. With that, the lights drop, tehn come back on, and Deathbringer is gone, and the crowd is going nuts.] JWH: I'm getting tired of seeing him do that... It's so stale. LM: What exactly do you want out here? JWH: I didn't think this Garry Martin guy could call this battle royal objectively so I decided to come out and give you a hand, Becky. If you play your cards right, maybe you can return the favor later. BL: [giggles] Well, let's just hope that someone cool wins it. I'd hate to see the Subway Loogie get another shot... LM: Yes, folks, it's time for tonight's big main event, the Battle Lines Battle Royal! Fourteen of the IIWF's top superstars in the ring at once, fighting it out until just one man remains, and that man will be the #1 contender for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship, getting his shot the weekend after Ring Wars II. Pick a winner, Mr. Outlaw, sir? JWH: It doesn't really matter to me who wins the battle royal because I will take on all comers when I bury Deathbringer and win the IIWF title. But if things get out of hand here tonight, don't think I won't step in and fight beside my partners. It's time for fools like Kauffman and Don Antonio to realize that _they_ have no place in the new IIWF. LM: The _new_ IIWF? Give me a break. JWH: Sure. Neck or back? LM: [gulps] Just before we go up to the ring, let's go backstage for some comments from "Painbringer" Billy Sexton: [Cut to Billy Sexton standing in the locker room. He speaks:] BS: Tonight... the Battle Lines Battle Royal. Baby, this might just be the greatest challenge of my life. The best of the best are going to be in the ring at the same time... for a shot at the heavyweight title. But remember this, my friends... Billy Sexton is not a man to be pushed around by anyone, including you, Lau. Lau, baby, the only reason you won't give me a shot at the IC title is because you know I'm going to take it. And just for that, I have yet another suprise for you... you will see it soon enough. [Sexton starts to walk away from the camera...] You will regret the day you ducked me...You will soon regret the day! [Sexton walks out of shot. Cut back to the ring.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= BATTLE LINES BATTLE ROYAL =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Spotlights swirl around the arena as Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Due to circumstances beyond our control, Dan Kauffman will not be participating in the upcoming Battle Royal. [The crowd boos] Mr. Kauffman will be replaced in this match by the Archangel. [Moderate pop.] JWH: I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity of Dan Kauffman, but perhaps he's finally learning. He takes a beating on Saturday night, gets locked in a casket on Midweek Mayhem, and keeps coming back for more. Kauffman reminds me of a beaten dog that keeps growling and snapping... until you finally have to put a bullet through its head. But he's wised up enough not to show his face tonight. BL: Can you say "terrified," Larry? LM: Come on, Kauffman isn't scared of anybody or anything, Becky. JWH: Want to bet? LM: [gulps] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is tonight's main e event, and it is a special over-the-top-rope Battle Lines Battle Royal! The rules are as follows: all fourteen men begin in the ring, and athletes can only be eliminated if they are thrown over the top rope, and both feet must touch the arena floor. The last man standing is declared the winner, and will go on to face the IIWF Champion next Saturday night. LM: There's the rules, folks... JWH: Rules?! Our so-called IIWF President thinks he can establish rules in this federation? Let me tell you something. Once I slam that casket lid shut on Deathbringer Saturday night at Ring Wars II, this federation will have no rules. Chaos will reign and the IIWF will belong to The Alliance. Spreadbury will be nothing but a puppet who does what we tell him. He can fine me all he wants because my money comes straight from the deep pockets of Josey Wales, Brian Lau, and the Senator, but he'll never be able to stop the reign of terror that is just getting started in the IIWF. LM: [pause] Can I speak now? JWH: Be my guest. LM: Er... er... JWH: By the way, there's a clown under your chair. LM: Waaaah! BL: Gets him every time. [The crowd pops as fireworks erupt at the head of the aisle.] RA: Introducing the combatants in this match: first, coming down the aisle, here is the White Phoenix! [The Phoenix jogs down to the ring.] The Archangel! [Bishop Right leads his behemoth down the aisle.] "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [Big pop for Quigley as he walks down the ring, stopping to give his shades to a fan at ringside.] Don Antonio! [Big pop for the Don as he and Sal walk down to the ring. Sal is carrying a baseball bat.] The Subway Psycho! [Huge pop for the Psycho as he walks down the aisle to the ring.] The Man Of Steel! [Mixed pop for Steel as he walks slowly to the ring, ignoring the fans, hanging his masked head.] LM: Steel doesn't look in the best of moods here tonight. JWH: Do you think Kauffman's so-called "sheriffs" can trust the Man of Steel now? He'll probably go off on a two-day drunk after this battle royal and show up hung over for Ring Wars II. Sure, I've done that myself in the past, but I have the talent to pull it off. LM: That's half of the competitors in the ring, and it looks full already. RA: Here is "Painbringer" Billy Sexton! [Sexton is led to the ring by the Grand Vizier.] "Badboy" Randy Acorn! [Acorn leaps out from a ringside seat, shedding a goofy pair of specs with fake nose and moustache attached.] LM: This guy's incredible. JWH: I like Randy Acorn's attitude. You never know where or when he'll jump opponents and beat the crap out of them. He has the potential that Marty Walnut wishes he had. It's a matter of time before Randy has a belt around his waist, and I'm betting it will be the Intercontinental Title. I notice Billy Pukespeare didn't have the guts to get in the ring tonight against Acorn. He probably asked Uncle Spreadbury to keep him out of the battle royal. LM: That's not true, and you... er... [Hardin glowers at Morton] ... you're quite entitles to your opinion. RA: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec! [Lebec walks down to the ring, carrying one of his many awards.] The Sandman! [The Sandman is escorted to the ring by the gorgeous Victoria Secret] LM: The Sandman has been on a tear here as of late. He could go all the way in this Battle Royal. JWH: You know, there was a lot of controversy about the Dark Knights' seeming reluctance to join the Alliance, but the Sandman looked inside himself and saw that there was really only one side for him in this war. Some, like the Subway Psycho, may say they're only watching out for themselves, but there will be no bystanders in this war. You're either with us or against us. The casualties will know the difference. [The athletes stand segregated in the ring, an uneasy ceasefire keeping them apart.] LM: Just two more men to come, and they're the two Syndicate representatives... RA: Finally, here are the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko and Casey "Blackheart" James! [Matsuoko and Casey jog down the aisle. There is no sign of Brian Lau as Hakiro leaps into the ring and immediately attacks the "Enigma". Casey blindsides the Man Of Steel, and the match is underway! Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: Look at all those bodies in there! It's tough to see what's going on... [Otto Verhoeven and Archangel slug it out, Acorn and Don Antonio go at it, Lebec goes after Quigley, and so on... there's chaos in the ring as Verhoeven tries to topple Archangel over the top rope. Gradually, the Butcher is joined by most of the other combatants, all trying to heave the Archangel over the top rope to the outside. Archangel clings on for dear life, but eventually succumbs to the force of numbers, and tumbles to the floor!] RA: Archangel has been eliminated! [Quigley immediately tries to capitalise on Verhoeven's jubilation, and up-ends him by grabbing his legs. Verhoeven topples over the ropes, but lands on the apron, and pulls himself back into the ring, where Musashi and Chow begin stamping away on him. Matsuoko hits Musashi from behind with a spinning leg kick, and the Enigma goes down. Meanwhile, the Subway Psycho attacks Billy Sexton, and whips him across the ring. Sexton hits the turnbuckles hard, his momentum carrying him up and over. He hits his head hard on the steel ringpost, and tumbles to the outside.] RA: "Painbringer" Billy Sexton has been eliminated by the Subway Psycho! LM: Yow! Sexton took one hell of a bump right there! JWH: That's too bad. I even like this guy's name... Painbringer. He knows the pleasure of hearing a bone snap or a tendon tear If he slaps that armbar on you, the match is over, but there's no guarantee that he'll let it go. The match might be over and your career might be over too. It's all in the Painbringer's hands. LM: The Grand Vizier's helping him up... he seems to be okay. This is such an intense match! [Hakiro Matsuoko holds the Man Of Steel for Casey James, and Casey tries to fire a big right hand at the captive Man, but Steel ducks out of the way, and Matsuoko gets nailed. Steel turns around and decks Casey, and "Blackheart" hits the mat hard. The "Enigma" picks up Hakiro and whips him into the ropes, nailing him with a flying reverse heel kick, sending him flying over the top rope to the outside. Big pop!] RA: Hakiro Matsuoko has been eliminated by the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [Matsuoko stands on the outside and yells up at Musashi, who beckons Matsuoko to come back and get some more. Suddenly, Musashi is knocked from the ring by a knee to the back from Casey James, and Matsuoko immediately lays into Musashi on the outside, and officials try to separate the two enemies.] RA: "Enigma" Takezo Musashi has been eliminated by Casey James! JWH: I knew that the "Sushi Enema" never stood a chance in this battle royal. There are too many guys who could throw him into the 12th row and hit those fat, ugly, hotdog-eating cows you call fans. And I think "Big Bucks" Don McQueen will have a little surprise for the Enema in the near future. LM: What do you know about McQueen, Hardin? JWH: What did you say? LM: Er, I said, Mr. Hardin, sir... [gulps] [The White Phoenix and Simon Lebec are going at it in one corner, while Verhoeven has Quigley on the canvas, and is choking him with his boot. The Subway Psycho sends the Sandman for the ride, and puts his head down for a backdrop, but is met by a swinging neckbreaker. Acorn and Don Antonio are engaged in a slugfest in the middle of the ring, until the Man Of Steel grabs the Don and holds him. Acorn winds up for a big punch, and nails the Don, and both he and the Man Of Steel put the boots in. Acorn is waylaid by the Subway Psycho, but Steel stays on top of the Don, trying to dump him out of the ring. The Don elbows Steel in the midsection, and MOS staggers backwards. The Don comes off the ropes and nails Steel with a clothesline, and then hoists him up once more. He dumps the masked Man over the ropes, and Steel hits the floor hard.] RA: The Man Of Steel has been eliminated by Don Antonio! LM: Former allies going at it in this battle royal! Who would have thought that the Man Of Steel would be eliminated by Don Antonio? JWH: You know, I never thought Don Antonio would amount to anything in the IIWF... and I was right! This guy has spent more time in the hospital than in the ring lately. Maybe I ought to bring another casket to ringside so Tiger Claw can permanently eliminate that Italian scum. [The Don shouts after the enraged Man Of Steel, who kicks the steel crowd barrier in his frustration before being forced away from the ring by officials, but is nailed from behind by Lebec. The Don and Lebec engage in a slugfest, and the Don sends Lebec for the ride across the ring. Lebec ducks under a clothesline, but Chris Quigley happens to fall across the top rope, being choked by Verhoeven, just as Lebec bounces from that side of the ring, and he tumbles over the top rope and to the outside. Big pop!] RA: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec has been eliminated by "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! JWH: Ego suits some people well, but Quigley just doesn't have the skills to back it up. He's proven in the short time he's been in the IIWF that he's all blow and no show. Typically Canadian, eh? LM: Let's not be racist, please, Mr. Hardin, sir. [The Subway Psycho puts Randy Acorn in position for a bulldog, then bounces off the ropes and spins in midair, planting Acorn face-first onto the mat with tremendous force. Big pop!] LM: Wow! The Psycho calls that move the Train Wreck, and Acorn looks to be in bad shape right now... What's your take on the People's Champion, Mr. Hardin, sir, seeing as you were the one who has tried and failed to put him out of the IIWF for good? JWH: It's pretty bad when the best thing you can say about a guy is that he's a quick healer. Yeah, the Psycho got lucky at the first Ring Wars, but luck runs out. He'll be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his career and he won't like what he sees behind him. Some ghosts never disappear. [The Psycho tries to dump Acorn out of the ring, but is attacked by Casey James. The Blackhearted one goes to town on the Psycho, raining down kicks and punches on him. He executes the Blackheart Punch, and the Psycho goes down. Otto Verhoeven arrives on the scene and joins with Casey in stomping away at the Psycho. Chris Quigley makes the save, clawing at Verhoeven's face, and then raking his eyes along the ropes. Verhoeven staggers backwards into the ring, and Quigley clotheslines him to the mat. Meanwhile, Don Antonio sees Acorn still tangled on the ropes, and goes to throw him out. Behind him, Casey James bounces off the ropes and launches himself at the Don, but Antonio seems to sense the attack, dodging out of the way. Casey and Acorn both tumble over the top rope to the outside. Big pop!] RA: Casey "Blackheart" James and "Badboy" Randy Acorn have eliminated each other! LM: Whoa! It's going to be an early bath for the Syndicate tonight! Hakiro's already gone; now Casey takes a chance, and it doesn't pay off. JWH: Don't put the badmouth on Casey, Moron. Blackheart definitely has the potential to win this battle royal. He already had the technical skill, but when he found the right attitude to go with it... well, he's been pretty much unstoppable. He's got the skills to win the world title on any given day. LM: Just not today. Okay, we're down to six men! The White Phoenix and Chris Quigley are slugging it out with Otto Verhoeven, and the Don's battling his old enemy, the Sandman. Meanwhile, the Subway Psycho is trying to recover from that last attack from the Butcher. Any one of these men could go all the way now. JWH: Any of them, except for that idiot, Shinja Chow. I don't claim to know a lot about the Oriental style of wrestling, but this guy has picked on the wrong crowd when he messes with Brian Lau, Tiger Claw, and Hakiro Matsuoko. The White Phoenix would be better off taking his lighter fluid and being a poster boy for the Shriner's Hospitals. LM: So who _are_ you picking, Mr. Outlaw, sir? JHW: My money's on the Butcher. You like the big boys, Becky, well, take a look at The Butcher. He's probably the second-most feared wrestler behind the Outlaw J.W. Hardin in the IIWF right now. In fact, he reminds me of myself as a younger man, which can only mean a great future lies ahead for him. LM: Verhoeven's future doesn't look too great right about now, though. He's taking a hell of a beating from Quigley and the Phoenix. [Phoenix and Quigley send Verhoeven for the ride and attempt a double clothesline, but Verhoeven ducks under, and fires back with a devastating double clothesline of his own. Both Quigley and Chow go down, and Verhoeven turns his attentions back to Quigley, stomping on him and putting the boot in. Meanwhile, Chow struggles back to his feet, and climbs the turnbuckles!] BL: What an idiot! Why take a risk like that at this stage in the match? [Chow stands on top of the top buckle, and launches himself at Verhoeven, landing on his back. The big man staggers backwards, winding up against the ropes. Being top-heavy, he tumbles over, and is only saved from hitting the floor by grabbing the top rope and pulling himself back in via the apron. Chow, however, is not so fortunate, and hits the floor hard. Referees help him to his feet, and he seems to be kicking himself about his error.] LM: You're right, Becky. Chow lost his cool, and he paid the price. Hang on -- here comes Tiger Claw! He's making a beeline straight for Salvatore Fiorello! [Amid a big heel pop, Claw walks down to ringside, and without so much as a word, hits Sal in the back of the head with a reverse savate kick. The manager goes down, and Claw grabs the baseball bat, brandishing it at the officials who try to force him away. In the ring, the Don sees what has happened, and in his distraction, he is nailed from behind by the Sandman, knocking him to the outside. Big heel pop!] RA: Don Antonio has been eliminated by the Sandman! LM: And now he's in a whole world of trouble! Tiger Claw's got that baseball bat! [There is a big pop as Vinny Cappicola charges down to ringside to protect his manager and his comrade. Claw backs off, but refuses to leave ringside. Meanwhile, the Sandman stands laughing at the plight of the Don, and is nailed from behind by the Subway Psycho, sending him flying over the ropes to the outside. Bodies litter the ringside area as the Psycho and Quigley look at one another.] RA: The Sandman has been eliminated by the Subway Psycho! LM: We're down to three men! Quigley and the Psycho are surely more than a match for Otto Verhoeven! BL: I wouldn't count on it, Larry. Of course, you can't count at all, but that's another story. LM: [ignoring her] What incredible action we're seeing here in this Battle Royal! [The Psycho drags Verhoeven up to his feet, and ties him up in the ropes. Quigley nods, and bounces off the ropes, before throwing himself with a cross-body block at the Psycho, who catches him and uses the momentum to throw Quigley behind him at Verhoeven, in a rocket launched fallaway slam. However, at the last moment, Verhoeven frees one arm, and drops out of the way as Quigley tumbles through the ropes to the outside, hitting the steel crowd barriers as he goes.] BL: Yes! Quigley's gone! LM: Not so fast, Becky! Quigley went between the ropes, not over them. He's still technically in this match, but he looks out of it to me. [Verhoeven struggles to free his other arm as the Subway Psycho moves in with kicks to his midsection, left wide open by his reduced mobility. The crowd start a "Psy - cho! Psy - cho!" chant as the two big men slug it out. The Psycho frees Otto's arm, and whips him into the ropes, flooring him with a big clothesline. He looks out into the crowd, and points up into the air. The fans go wild!] LM: He's going to hit the De-railer! JWH: I've seen enough of this! [Hardin throws down his headset and leaves the broadcast table. The Psycho climbs to the top turnbuckle, and raises his arms to steady himself, when suddenly, Hardin shakes the ropes, and the Psycho tumbles down so that he is straddling the top buckles. Hardin laughs and stands back while Verhoeven gets to his feet. The Butcher moves in on the pained Psycho and nails him with some more paralysing body shots, before winding up and hitting the Psycho with a vicious lariat, sending him all the way to the arena floor!] RA: The Subway Psycho has been eliminated by Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! LM: I can't believe this! Hardin has no business interfering in this match! BL: I guess he still holds a grudge against the sewer rat for that fluke victory at Ring Wars I. Besides, he smells bad, and think of all the germs he carries. The Outlaw's doing us all a favour by getting rid of him. LM: Now Hardin's going after Quigley! He just wants to injure as many men as he can! This is horrible! [Hardin drags Chris Quigley to his feet by the hair and shouts something in his face which the microphones don't pick up. Don and Vinny try to rescue Quigley, but are met by Tiger Claw and his baseball bat. The Outlaw executes the Cattle Buster, driving Quigley's head into the arena floor, before picking him back up and rolling him into the ring. Verhoeven kicks Quigley in the ribs, then drags him to his feet, and hoists him high above his head! Cameras flash all over the arena!] LM: What power! Quigley weighs 240lbs, and Verhoeven hoists him up like a rag doll! [Verhoeven walks around the ring with the dead weight of Quigley above his head, before throwing him out of the ring onto Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola. Quigley hits the floor, and the bell rings to signal the end of the match. Verhoeven holds his arms high in victory! Huge heel pop!] RA: [shouting, but barely audible] "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley has been eliminated. Here is your winner, and #1 contender for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [Hardin enters the ring to congratulate Verhoeven, and the crowd begin pelting the duo with trash. Tiger Claw also enters the ring to join in the celebrations, and the crowd pops like crazy.] LM: I can't believe this! Otto Verhoeven has won the Battle Lines Battle Royal, but only thanks to the Outlaw! [Don Antonio picks himself up and rolls into the ring to face Tiger Claw, but finds himself attacked by Hardin, Claw and Verhoeven, who put the boots in. Hardin drags the Don to his feet, and holds him for Tiger Claw, who sizes him up with the baseball bat.] LM: No! This is terrible! Somebody stop this! [Claw takes a big swing with the baseball bat -- but the Don moves at the last moment, and the bat hits Hardin's left arm with a sickening crack. Huge pop! Hardin clutches at his arm and falls to one knee.] LM: Yes! Tiger Claw just nailed Hardin with that baseball bat! Just look at his face! He can't believe it! [Claw looks to be in shock momentarily, but then an entirely different expression crosses his face, and he strikes Hardin's arm again with the baseball bat! Hardin goes down! The crowd are going nuts!] LM: What?! Claw just hit Hardin's arm on purpose! This is unbelievable! Why?! [Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola charge again, knocking both Claw and Verhoeven from the ring. Tiger Claw drops the baseball bat, and it is picked up by the Subway Psycho, who crawls back into the ring and starts beating Hardin with the bat. The crowd are going nuts!] LM: The Outlaw's taking the beating of his life right here, and it was initiated by Tiger Claw! I've never seen anything like this in my life! BL: I don't know what to say... except for, "Here comes Cadaver!" [Cadaver makes his way to the ring and attacks the Subway Psycho, grabbing the baseball bat from him. He knocks the Psycho to the canvas with a single blow, and then begins choking him with it, putting immense pressure on his throat. Hardin, meanwhile, is screaming in agony. The Don and Vinny try to pull Cadaver away from the Psycho, but fail. Suddenly, the lights go out. When they rise again, Deathbringer stands in the ring! The crowd goes nuts!] LM: What else are we going to see here?! Has Ring Wars II come early?! [Verhoeven and Tiger Claw quickly head up the aisle at the arrival of Deathbringer, and Cadaver stands to face the IIWF Champion. Deathbringer looks down at the wounded Outlaw. The Don and Vinny pull the Psycho from the ring and tend to him on the arena floor. The crowd becomes hushed as Cadaver and Deathbringer once more stare at one another. The groans of the pained Hardin can clearly be heard. Suddenly, Deathbringer takes a swing at Cadaver, and the two big men begin brawling in the centre of the ring! Security teams finally begin pouring down the aisle to the squared circle.] LM: [shouting] Look at them go at it! The Cadaver and Deathbringer... this is incredible! Hardin's rolled out of the ring now, but I think he could very well have sustained some very serious injuries in that attack. We're right out of time, folks. Security are trying to gain control in the ring... this is chaos. We're going off air, folks... we'll bring you a complete update on Friday night... I can't believe what we're seeing here! [Larry continues to talk, but his commentary is faded out. The brawl between Deathbringer and Cadaver continues in the ring, despite the attempts of security and officials to break it up. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+