[Footage of Wednesday night's Midweek Mayhem rolls. The voice of Tim Dross is heard over the video.] TD: It began as what should have been the finest hour for many of the top stars in the IIWF, but it ended... [The Man of Steel stands at his press conference and denies having a substance abuse problem. Robski pounds The Punster and then watches as Prisoner #109 applies his mandible claw on the helpless Punster. The Archangel comes to the rescue. Cut to highlights of the tag team brawl between the High Plains Drifters, Armed Forces, and Stunt Team USA. Cut to scenes of Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven raising his arms in victory following the Battle Lines Battle Royal, then Outlaw J.W. Hardin hitting his Cattle Buster DDT on Chris Quigley and Tiger Claw wielding his baseball bat outside the ring. Amid the brawl, Hardin holds Don Antonio as Tiger Claw takes aim with his bat, but Antonio breaks away and Tiger Claw nails Hardin with the bat. Larry Morton screams in the background audio as Claw winds up again and hits Hardin one more time. Cut to scenes of Deathbringer and Cadaver staring each other down in the ring before the final fight of the night breaks out. The shot freezes.] TD: ...in tragedy. [Cut to footage of Hardin being helped into an ambulance outside McNichols Arena, his arm in an air cast. The audio speaks for itself as Hardin pushes away the medical personnel with his good arm.] JWH: WHAT THE [BLEEP] WAS THAT [BLEEP]IN' LITTLE SLANT-EYED [BLEEP] [BLEEP] DOIN'?! WE HAD A [BLEEP]IN' DEAL! CLAW, LAU, YOU'VE ASKED FOR TROUBLE AND YOU'RE GONNA GET MORE [BLEEP] [BLEEP] TROUBLE THAN YOU'VE EVER GOTTEN BEFORE! YOU JUST SIGNED YOUR [BLEEP]IN' DEATH CERTIFICATE, CLAW! YOU'RE [BLEEP]IN' DEAD! YOU'RE DEAD! [The ambulance doors close and the vehicle zooms away from McNichols Arena. Hardin's final words, "You're dead!" echo into silence.] TD: The battle lines have indeed been drawn and the war is just 24 hours away. [The screen erupts into a fireball from which emerges:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "THE ROAD TO RING WARS II" - October 11, 1996 =============================================== [An aerial shot of The Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis, Indiana, gives way to a shot of Tim Dross at a broadcast station outside the facility. The dome glows in the evening sky behind Dross and thousands of rowdy fans congregate in front of the station to watch the live show. One group dressed in black holds up a "Deathbringer's Warriors From Hell" sign. Another fan wearing sunglasses, his hair greased back, wears a t-shirt that reads, "I Go To Bat For the Don!" Two more wave an American flag and yell words of encouragement for the Man of Steel. From the back of the crowd, someone waves a "Cadaver for President" poster. Cut to a tight shot of Dross.] TD: Good evening everyone, and welcome to "The Road to Ring Wars II." I'm your host Tim Dross, and I can honestly say that we've never had so many questions going into a IIWF pay-per-view as we do tonight for Ring Wars II. As you saw on Midweek Mayhem, The Punster was seriously injured at the hands of Robski, Prisoner #109 and Magus. Chris Quigley was also a casualty and we'll learn more about that later. But the biggest shock of the night came when Outlaw J.W. Hardin was brutally attacked by his apparent colleague, Tiger Claw of The Syndicate, following the gruelling Battle Lines Battle Royal. Our security team, which was almost as busy as emergency medical personnel Wednesday night, was able to finally break up the fight between Cadaver and Deathbringer, but the frightening news is that the sinister Cadaver was seen leaving McNichols Arena with Brian Lau and The Syndicate. What THAT union could mean is anyone's guess. There's more, though. Dan Kauffman, scheduled to captain a War Games team at Ring Wars II, has not been seen in more than a week since being locked in a casket on Midweek Mayhem. He unexpectedly withdrew from the Battle Lines Battle Royal and has not been heard from since... Until tonight, that is. I spoke with Dan Kauffman in his home just this morning, and I'll have his comments later on tonight. We don't know whether he has yet arrived here in Indianapolis. And to make matters worse, accusations continue to fly regarding the IIWF's top administrator by not one, but TWO of the IIWF's superstars. All we've heard for the last two weeks is that this war in the IIWF would have many casualties, but it appears the casualties did not wait until Ring Wars II. [Switch the camera angle to get a different shot of Dross. He swivels his chair to accommodate the shot.] TD: Fans, I can tell you that the IIWF Executive Committee is meeting right now inside The Hoosier Dome to determine the very future of Ring Wars II. I can safely say that we WILL have a show for you tomorrow night, but there are more questions than answers with less than 24 hours remaining before the first match. Right now, only the IIWF Executive Committee and the IIWF's superstars themselves have the answers. We have a lot to cover tonight. We have interviews, predictions, and other highlights from Wednesday's Midweek Mayhem. But first, let's take you back to Denver for a story that continues to shake the IIWF to its very foundation. My colleague Larry Morton remained in Denver following Midweek Madness and he joins us now LIVE from the Denver Medical Center. Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton in a IIWF windbreaker as he stands outside the entrance to the Denver Medical Center. Dusk is beginning to fall in the Rocky Mountains.] LM: Tim, I was ringside Wednesday night for one of the most bizarre turn of events I have ever witnessed in professional wrestling. Tiger Claw, apparently with some ulterior motive, seemingly broke the alliance which was forged by the Outlaw J.W. Hardin some six weeks ago. Joining me now is the leader of The Posse, Outlaw Josey Wales, who has been by the Outlaw J.W. Hardin's side since Wednesday night. Mr. Wales, thank you for speaking with us. Can you bring us up to date on Mr. Hardin's condition? JW: Yeah, Larry. J.W. Hardin sustained a compound fracture of his humerus and multiple fractures of his ulna. He underwent eight hours of surgery late Wednesday night and into early Thursday morning -- basically to put his right arm back together. LM: Everyone knows that Mr. Hardin is scheduled to face Deathbringer tomorrow night at Ring Wars II. Is there any chance he'll be able to wrestle? JW: There ain't no way. Let me tell you something... J.W. Hardin is the toughest man I've met since his Daddy -- tougher than any so-called spook and he's twice the man of Deathbringer. If it were humanly possible to be at Ring Wars II, he would be there. The only thing holding his right arm together right now is a bunch of pins and wires. The doctors don't even know if he'll even regain full use of his arm, much less wrestle again. I spoke with IIWF President Dan Spreadbury and the Executive Council earlier today and I understand they'll make an official announcement tonight. LM: So the main event casket match is in jeopardy? JW: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN HIT REPEATEDLY BY A [BLEEP]ING BASEBALL BAT YOU LITTLE MORON? BONES DON'T BEND! IF YOU WANT A [BLEEP]ING CASKET MATCH, WHY DON'T _YOU_ GET IN THE RING TOMORROW NIGHT. I'M A LITTLE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT A FRIEND WHOSE VERY CAREER IS NOW IN QUESTION! LM: I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. How is Mr. Hardin feeling now? JW: He's mad...and I don't [BLEEP]ing blame him. Lau... Claw... I don't know what or why right now, but we're all going to be in the same building tomorrow night. We've got The Posse, we've got the Syndicate, and we've got the Dark Knights. And we've even got friends in lower places. I understand Cadaver walked off with you, but you're still outnumbered. There comes a time when every man must pay for his deeds and your time is nearer than you think! Now I gotta catch a plane to Indiana and meet up with the High Plains Drifters. LM: Thank you Mr. Wales. Well, Tim, I guess we've answered one question only to come up with another one. Outlaw J.W. Hardin is out of the main event casket match, but who will take his place? That's up to the powers that be in the IIWF. Back to you, Tim. [Cut to split screen with Dross on the left and Larry Morton on the right.] TD: Larry, can you give us an update on the condition of The Punster, who is scheduled to team with The Archangel against Magus and Prisoner #109 tomorrow? LM: I can tell you that there's no way that tag team will happen. The Punster was brought here to the Denver Medical Center in a coma and did not regain consciousness until last night. The initial diagnosis of a ruptured spleen and several broken ribs was indeed accurate, but he may have also suffered some respiratory problems as a result of that mandible claw. He's currently in intensive care and he is listed in serious but stable condition. So who will team up with the Archangel at Ring Wars II? The questions continue to pile up. Tim? [Cut back to Tim Dross in Indianapolis.] TD: Questions indeed. That seems to be the theme of tonight's show. Who will step into Outlaw J.W. Hardin's shoes and challenge Deathbringer for the IIWF World Title tomorrow night? Does Brian Lau have a plan to get Tiger Claw or one of his other men into the title match? Is Cadaver a logical choice? What about Otto Verhoeven, who won the Battle Lines Battle Royal? Perhaps Dan Kauffman, who battled Deathbringer at the first Ring Wars in one of the greatest matches in IIWF history? I don't know right now, fans, but I hope we'll have all the answers before we go off the air tonight. While we await word from the IIWF Executive Committee, let's take a look at _everything_ that went down Wednesday night in Denver's McNichols Arena in our: ************************************************************************** ---------------------- IIWF MIDWEEK MAYHEM REWIND ---------------------- ************************************************************************** -------------------------------------------- PRISONER #109 defeated "NUCLEAR" JOHN BOMBER -------------------------------------------- TD: Prisoner #109 had more than a little help from Magus in defeating John Bomber. Magus attacked Bomber outside the ring, permitting P-109 to apply his mandible claw and end the match. I have no doubt that Bomber would have become yet another casualty had The Archangel not intervened following the match. ----------------------------------- ARMED FORCES vs. ATOMIC DESTROYERS ----------------------------------- TD: The tag ranks of the IIWF have been in disarray of late and this match showed why. The Atomic Destroyers were awarded the victory after a brawl erupted which saw no fewer than FIVE of the IIWF tag teams battling in and around the ring. Order was finally restored, but what will happen tomorrow night when THREE of those teams meet in one ring with the tag belts on the line? That one could turn ugly, fans, but the Armed Forces say that they're ready: [SCENE: Outside the Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis. NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, are standing next to the limousine, owned by Aaron the Caddy, looking at the Dome. WOWT Interviewer Jane Phillips is there also. The AFs are sporting nice new suits and, of course, the IIWF World Tag Team Championship Belts across their shoulders.] Jane: Hello out there in TV Land, this is Jane Phillips coming to you LIVE from the Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis, Indiana, where tomorrow night, these two men [she points at the AFs] will be defending their IIWF WORLD Tag Team Championships against not one, but two teams. Joining me now is the man behind the men, Aaron the Caddy, [the limousine driver gets out of the front door and walks back to the rear of the limo, where he opens and holds the door for Aaron the Caddy, who emerges in a brand new Giorgio Armani suit] and Aaron, I'm going to start with you here. How do you feel about facing two of the more mediocre teams in the IIWF in the same match? Aaron: Thanks, Jane. That's an excellent question, and it brings me to a point that I wanted to make. Everyone knows that my men are the best in the world when it comes to pure, tag team wrestling. Jane: No doubt, continue... Aaron: And it serves as no mystery to anyone that with my superb guidance, we form a cohesive unit which can not be stopped. Jane: That's for sure... Aaron: We've had people lining up all over the place for a piece of this action. I get mobbed outside my offices every day for interviews and autographs, photo ops and quotes. And every time, I have to turn down my adoring public, for the sake of these men right here. My job is to keep the press off the backs of the champs here. And I've saved all of the scoops for you, Jane. Jane: And we really appreciate it here at WOWT, Aaron. We're eternally grateful, you've boosted our ratings by 22%! Aaron: Is that all? Ouch, I'm apparently not getting the job done around here. Well, anyway, so I have to keep my AFs in seclusion most of the time, trying to keep them away from the fanfare. I don't want a couple of drooling chicks to come up and distract them from their jobs...tag team wrestling. So, we tend to go into hiding a bit, usually in the Civic in Omaha. That's where I bring in talent from all over the place to wrestle with my men. And each time, they learn a new hold, or a new double team strategy. They improve with every passing day. From their weight training to their wind sprints, their reversal drills and actual matches, my men become more and more dominant. And it's showed. Jane: It certainly has showed. When the Forces made their appearance back in July, they took on the United Nations and put them out of commission. They were a team which relied on brute force and cunning. But, I think you've come a long way... DefCon: Exactly. We've been working so hard, and we owe so much to Aaron. He's gotten us into the gym, working on both physical traits AND technical skills. I mean, look at us when we arrived on the scene here. We just beat people up, overpowered them. Now, we still do that, but we can use many different wear down holds and precise maneuvers to slowly suck the life out of the opposition. Jane: Yes, it is apparent that you've gotten much better since Aaron has worked you guys to greatness. But, Aaron, what do you think about the two on one scenario? Aaron: Like I was saying earlier, I've had people mobbing me to get a piece of the action out of the ring. Well, I didn't even mention what people have wanted INSIDE the ring. Before these guys won the titles, we couldn't get a match to save our souls. Teams were afraid to lose -- or be taken out of commission -- in a match with the likes of us. So, they hid. NavCom: Yeah, and then we get the titles, and suddenly everybody's either our best friends or our worst enemies. Well, we don't buy into this garbage. Aaron: Let me tell you this. When President Dan said he was going to sign a three-team brawl for the titles, I was irate. I told him that there was no way this was fair, giving us a match where we can lose the belts by countout or disqualification, AND having to battle two teams in one match. I told him right then and there that he'd not be a happy camper if this match was signed, because I'd be all over him like Madonna on ANYTHING. Jane: Yes, but then how did... NavCom: We asked for it. Aaron told us what a bad idea it was, and we know that this isn't a good business move. But, for once we've got to forget about dollars and sense and these titles which we so dearly treasure, and we've gotta get into that ring and shut BOTH of those whining punk teams down for good. DefCon: That's right. Aaron isn't happy about it, but he's learning to live with it, because we've assured him of a victory tomorrow night. We've got the titles right now [NavCom and DefCon pat their titles, NavCom holds it right up to the screen], and we're walkin' out of the Dome with 'em tomorrow night. Jane: That's great to hear, but you've been putting the belts on the line at a record pace as of late, are you guys wearing yourselves out? Aaron: My men only take as much as they can handle. Jane: Well, it seems like they can handle quite a bit then. I'm looking at the opponents you've faced recently. Heavy Metal, the Zodiac Connection, Antonio and Cappicola, Law and Disorder, and most recently, the Atomic Destroyers... the list goes on and on. And now you walk into this match with... DefCon: With momentum. Tough team after tough team, and each time a good win and keeping the belts. We're not dinged up. We haven't been softened. We're ready to fight and that's exactly what we're gonna do. We're all that. We're the champs. And we're gonna smash some face into the mat around here come tomorrow night. Stunt Team, High Plains Drifters!!! Listen up! We've been battling you bunch of thugs forever! And each time, we've come out ahead...and we've got the titles right now! So all you idiots better listen to me and take warning...it's gonna be DEFCON 1 come Saturday night!!! NavCom: Stunt Team...you gave us our first computer win...and you've never really recovered, have you? We beat you. 1-2-3 in the center of the ring, fair and square long ago. Will that prey on your minds tomorrow night, taking you out of your game plan? Oh, I certainly hope not... Aaron: Oh, boy, here we come with the MIND GAMES... NavCom: Drifters. You've been such a great team, so wonderful that it hurts me to tell you about the time I rolled you up for a clean victory to take your precious titles from you. [NavCom rubs his hand slowly across the belt.] I hope you don't get overcome with emotion and rage and do something which will take you take you out of yours. That would be a pity. After all, you almost beat us...oh, never mind. See you punks in the ring. Aaron: That's really going to have to be all Jane. I've got to get my men into the film room.... Jane: But just one more ques--- Aaron: I'm sorry. We really must be going. [The three men head into the Hoosier Dome. Jane Phillips waves goodbye and Aaron blows her a kiss. The WOWT graphics begin to sweep the screen.] Jane: Well, thank you very much to those fine gentlemen, great citizens, and excellent champions, the Armed Forces, along with the charming manager, Aaron the Caddy. Well, that'll be all for now...from the Hoosier Dome in Indianapolis, I'm Jane Phillips for WOWT, and I'll see all of you tomorrow night immediately after the card. [Cut back to Dross, who appears to have been doing a crossword.] TD: Sorry, folks. I was just settling in for the night. Let's move on. ---------------------------------------------------------------- NO CONTEST: BILLY SHAKESPEARE & THE PUNSTER vs. ACES OF THE DEEP ---------------------------------------------------------------- TD: We've covered this one in some detail already and you know that The Punster was seriously injured at the hands of Robski, Prisoner #109, and Magus. Billy Shakespeare and the Archangel managed to finally run off the Partners in Crime, but not before the damage was done. Robski, who rescued the lovely Jasmine during the match, warns that more carnage may be on its way: [Robski paces in the IIWF interview area with a wild-eyed look about him. He is a little scruffy and he is alone -- no Max Clifford and no Jasmine.] ROBSKI: Punster, I gave you one simple warning: return what is mine OR YOU DIE! But you didn't listen and you have paid the price. Who will be next? The Man of Steel is one of these good guy Americans who I hate so much, I have seen him here there and everywhere, being nice to the fans. I don't buy this "new attitude of his." I AM SICK TO DEATH OF HIM AND I AM READY TO MAKE HIM PAY. And I never grow tired of beating up Sabin Rene Figaro. FIGARO IS A FRAUD, HE HOPS FROM FED TO FED TRYING TO WIN TITLES BECAUSE HE IS A NAME, HE IS THE HULK HOGAN OF E-WRESTLING -- A MAN WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHEN TO QUIT, WELL HE WILL QUIT THE IIWF WHEN I HAVE DONE WITH HIM! I've missed Jasmine, but now I am back at full strength. That means trouble for anyone who stands in my way! [Fade] ----------------------------- DEATHBRINGER defeated ROBSKI ----------------------------- TD: It was Robski who felt the pain against the IIWF World Champion, as Deathbringer overcame the distraction of Outlaw J.W. Hardin at ringside and performed The Burial on the English Sensation in his final tune up before Ring Wars II. The question now: against whom will he be defending his title? We taped an interview with Deathbringer following Midweek Mayhem, but we have not heard back from him since. Apparently news does not travel quickly in the mortuary. Anyway, here is what Deathbringer had to say on Wednesday: [SCENE: Several shots of the Subway Psycho vs. Deathbringer matchup. The last shot shows the referee making the three count after the Subway Psycho hit the Derailer on Deathbringer. The image freezes and then fades over to Deathbringer standing in the mortuary] DB: June 15th... the only time a mortal cleanly succeeded in holding my shoulders on the ground for three seconds. I still remember the words of the Coroner, who told me that this would never happen again. At that point I was sure about it. But in the past I also learned that time tends to repeat itself. The past becomes future and the future will be a reflection of the past. So it may be possible that I will be defeated by a mortal once again in the near future. [Pause as Deathbringer walks around one of the caskets] Ring Wars II is coming closer and destiny will fulfill itself. Will it be my destiny or will it be the Outlaw's? After the events that occurred at Midweek Mayhem one could say that the Outlaw will certainly not be at one hundred percent. But I do not care about those rumors. Outlaw, do not expect me to show any mercy, any regret or any remorse. Do not expect me to show something to you that I do not know about. Maybe you are injured, maybe you are not. One way or another I will come after you at full strength. [Another pause as Deathbringer walks over to the casket to be used at Ring Wars II.] But let me repeat my question from the beginning. Whose destiny will be fulfilled? Will time repeat itself? [Closeup of Deathbringer's red eyes] I think so. [Cut to a shot of Deathbringer executing the tombstone on the Outlaw at Midsummer Madness. Fade] -------------------------- BATTLE LINES BATTLE ROYAL -------------------------- TD: This tremendous battle came down to three men: Otto Verhoeven, the Subway Psycho, and Chris Quigley. With Quigley outside the ring, the Outlaw J.W. Hardin helped Verhoeven eliminate the Psycho. Verhoeven then eliminated Quigley to win the battle royal. But the real battle came after the bell, as chaos erupted. Tiger Claw, Hardin, Cadaver, Deathbringer, Don Antonio: agreements... and bones... were broken. Quigley came out of the match and the brawl in bad shape, as you can tell from the following footage: [Cut to footage from the locker room area, just behind the curtain that leads to the aisle to the ring, following the battle royal. Chris Quigley, bloody and holding his head, emerges from beyond the curtain as several reporters begin firing questions at the disoriented Quigley.] R1: Chris! Do you feel at all ripped off by what happened? CQ: [slowly looking up] What the HELL do you think?! Of course I feel ripped off because I WAS ripped off. That's what I get for counting on somebody! That's what I get for trying to depend on Subway Psycho! I said it before, and it has ALWAYS been my attitude, you can't count on anyone besides YOURSELF! I lost track of that here, but not anymore! Oh, I'll be at Ring Wars, but I'll be damned if I'm letting them cost me another loss! And by "THEM" I mean my opponents AND my OWN team! I'm gonna prove at Ring Wars why I am what I say I am! THE BEST! R2: What do you mean? You're not gonna tag out? CQ: Jesus... you guys are idiotic! OF COURSE I'm gonna tag out! I said I was the BEST, not STUPID. Nobody would want to face those kinda odds... UNLESS they HAVE to... and if I find myself alone, with all my teammates eliminated... I get to go for broke... and those seven underdogs on the other side are gonna get STRUCK DOWN! R3: What are your thoughts on Otto Verhoeven? CQ: Listen and listen good... a single Ring Wars match ain't gonna settle this thing for me! He's cost me way too much to get away with a small fight like that! I don't give a damn whether he wins the world title or not! I'm not gonna interfere in THAT match... if he wins? Just means I get a title shot when I go to kick his ass! If he loses? Just means he proves that he's a born loser! R4: Do you get the feeling EVERYONE is after your head? CQ: There's a price on my head, it's the price to pay for being the best, and it'll never change! And I don't want it to! I welcome the challenge. EVERY single guy in this federation can step into the ring with me one and a time or all at once, I don't give a damn, and one by one they'll go down! Why? BECAUSE I SAID SO! [The blood from Quigley's forehead has nearly covered his face and is dripping down around his chest and back...] R5: Quickstrike, would you ever consider stepping in the ring with Dan "Flash" Kauffman? CQ: Without a doubt. I WANT to face Dan Kauffman. Seems to be we're sharing the role of "the best" in the eyes of the fans... and while he's a GREAT wrestler... I don't think he can match up to me. And... [Quigley loses his balance and leans on the wall to hold himself up...] ... I've gotta... leave... [Quigley, using the wall to steady himself, walks to his dressing room and closes the door behind him, then a CRASH is heard! The bystanders run and open the door, to find Quigley unconscious, as he lies on the floor, over his now broken bench, as the cameras fade out...] TD: I understand that Chris Quigley was taken to the hospital, but we could not locate him there Thursday morning. We haven't heard from him since to be able to check on the extent of his injuries. However, we have now made contact with Otto Verhoeven, and he gave the following comments: [SCENE: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi are in a luxurious hotel penthouse and watch the final moments of Midweek Mayhem.] NH: Vat a chaos! Vat carnage! OV: Come on, you had to like it. The Butcher wins the battle royal and all those snot-nosed idiots suffered at my hands. But this was only a sneak preview at what will happen at Ring Wars 2. I once again had to listen to the imbecile rants of the Q-Man, who still claims, after being humiliated week after week by the German juggernaut, that he is the world's greatest wrestler BAR NONE. [Heidi bursts out laughing and Otto tries hard to stay serious.] OV: Ja, genau, BAR NONE, all other wrestlers are just not on his level. He is too talented, too smart and too... NH: [laughing hysterically] Plee...please stop, liebling. I cant take it anymohahahaha... OV: [smirking] All right. At Wargames, not only Quigley will go down and lie on the ground in a pool of his own blood, but all of the other "top" sheriffs will pay for their past actions against the Alliance, the true, one and only power in the IIWF. NH: [calming down] Do you think it still exists? OV: I am not sure. It was a good idea, but those things last never for a long time. I am sure my friends and I will stand together until Wargames and obliterate the weaklings who dare to oppose us and then, we will see whose side is fit to rule the IIWF. Later that night an epic battle will be fought, a clash of self-proclaimed supernatural forces. I do not know who will win, although I am sure that Hardin and Cadaver have the advantage on their side, whoever the winner of that violent match will be has to face me. NH: Vatever forces these men revere, my man Otto is an unstoppable force on his own and he vill prove his power and his determination to bring glory to Germany! OV: Wargames shall be the most brutal contest in the history of the IIWF and the Butcher will transform it into a ...slaughterhouse! [Fade] Several of the IIWF's stars seem to be laying low. Perhaps it is the pressure of Ring Wars II, or perhaps they share my concern about the attitudes some wrestlers are taking into Ring Wars II. Some are going to be teammates, yet they are almost at each other's throats. Is it the pressure to win -- or is it just a clash of egos? Let's hear what's on the minds of some of the IIWF's superstars -- the healthy ones, anyway -- going into this big pay-per-view spectacular. ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: I took the long route to Indianapolis this week because of another scheduled meeting with the Lady DeWinter in New Orleans. On my way there, I was sidetracked by an urgent message and made an unexpected detour. Had I known what was waiting, I wouldn't have bothered: [Randy Acorn is sitting in a room with a leather recliner and a leather sofa in each corner. He relaxes on the sofa with a grin on his face and a cocktail in his hand as he faces the camera.] RA: Ah, it seems the cameras have arrived -- although the special guest is not yet here. Who, you ask? I'm sure that will be answered soon enough, but not by me, by a knock at the door. In the meantime, let me give you thoughts on the Battle Lines Battle Royal. Was that a great workout or what? The truth is I didn't really care if I won that battle royal or not, all I care about is this War Games match approaching where I get my chance to take away Billy Shakespeare's title and put it around my waist. Just remember, Billy, that you made the stipulation. Whether it came from confidence or mere stupidity, one thing is certain....you will lose that title this Saturday at Ring Wars II and it will be placed in my possession. And I wish to direct comments toward a couple other people. Man of Steel, you will also be one of my opponents Saturday and if you get in my way of capturing the gold, oh will you ever wish you hadn't. You thought the pain that you felt after that terrible car crash was bad? Believe me when I say my wrath would be much, much worse. And Mr.Quigley, you know that I could never forget about you. After I get rid of Shakespeare and take that Cruiserweight title from him, I can guarantee you the first shot. And if you help me get the title, then I swear you will have the first title shot. Will your desire to earn a belt make you turn on your teammate? Shakespeare, can you trust Quigley? I love causing turmoil. HAHAHA! [There is a knock at the door. When Randy opens the door, Tim Dross stands in front of him with a frown on his face] RA: Come on in Tim, you're late but I'll let it pass this time. TD: I was hoping that it wasn't you who sent me this invitation, but of course it was. So what do you want? RA: It seems like you're not too happy to be here. Oh well, I brought you here to give you the opportunity of a lifetime: the chance to put Billy Shakespeare away. TD: I will have no part in ruining Billy's reputation, especially at the hands of someone like you. RA: You have no choice. Read your contract. [At that moment, Randy gets up and walks over to a door. He opens it up and Samantha Lee walks out with a depressed expression on her face. She sits down in the recliner and mopes] TD: I should have known that you would bring this...this...deviant out. [he turns to face Samantha] What do you have to say about your allegations being turned around on you? SL: First of all, Billy is in the wrong and always has been. I could tell you some stories about your hero that you would not want to believe. TD: Like what? Another lie? SL: Okay, if you really want to know. He struck me two or three times when we were in high school. TD: I'm sure he did -- and was this part of "Romeo & Juliet" as well? SL: No, actually it was part of "Billy & Samantha," but this is no play. All abusers are real. If you don't believe me, I have police reports and pictures to prove it. You won't find it on Billy's record because his juvenile file has been erased, but you can still look back and find them in the police reports. After what Billy has done to me, I want everyone to know what he is really like and if he wants to stand up and call me a liar, then I'll meet him face to face and see if he can lie then. That's when the truth will arise. [Tim Dross seems angered and prepares to leave. Randy gets up to escort him out] RA: Don't worry Tiny Tim, there are still other wrestlers that you can look up too. Hell, maybe your next role model will be a child molester. Be prepared because I'll be calling you back soon. TD: Don't ever set me up with an interview like this again or I will have charges brought against you. RA: Whatever. [Randy gives Tim a shove out the door and slams it, nearly cracking Tim in the back. Randy turns back toward the camera.] RA: Billy Shakespeare, keep in mind that wherever you go, I'm not more than two steps behind. Call me your shadow, but like Peter Pan, I will take you over. [Cut back to Tim Dross] TD: Just a few comments on my part. First, there is nothing in my contract with the IIWF which states that I must tolerate such treatment from Randy Acorn and I will NOT interview Acorn again on this show. If Steve Roberts or another member of the IIWF broadcast team wants to humor Mr. Acorn, then so be it. But I'm through with him and his little smear campaign. I believe Billy Shakespeare is a man of his word and that's enough for me. Fisto Flash may not be at full strength in his Ring Wars II match with the Hangman after a blast of acid burned his arm and seriously damaged his replacement prosthesis last Saturday. However, The Hangman claims to have even more pain in store for Fisto Flash -- enough to even make Steve Roberts flinch. I seriously doubt Steve is capable of flinching. But I digress. Let's hear now from the Hangman: [Cut to a taped interview which opens with a tight shot of The Hangman's masked face.] TH: Well Fisto, the time for our little meeting is rapidly approaching. I have been looking forward to this return match with great anticipation. It is for that reason that I have returned to my most cherished abode. As you can see.... [Camera zooms out to show The Gallows] ...it is The Gallows. I always come here before any great match. I was here prior to the matches with VDC and Frenchy, and you saw what I am capable of when I faced those two. It has been awhile since I have put anyone out of the sport. Fisto prepare yourself, because this time around there will be no tricks, I think the look on your face as your imitation fist melted was priceless. You did not know what to do or think. But alas, that was only a parlor trick. What I have in store for you will even make Soundbite Roberts flinch. Remember, he is the one always wanting more blood. Fisto you also now know that your Fist is in the hands of someone the likes of whom you have never seen. When you think about it, maybe that Fist will be put to good use in the coming months -- maybe even at Ring Wars II. I really think that the obsession you have in getting it back will be your downfall. Fisto, I want you to see something. I showed this to Frenchy and VDC prior to our matches and after looking at what I am going to show you, think real hard. You may not want to even show up after seeing what I am capable of! [The shot widens and we see the Hangman grab a man who is wearing a black hood. Hangman takes the man over to the Hangman's Noose and places it around the man's neck. Hangman looks toward the camera and lets out a sickening laugh.] Fisto this is you... and your retirement neck tie party. [Hangman steps back and pulls the lever at the edge of the gallows. A loud banging sound is heard as the trap door under the man's feet is opened. The man starts to jerk and twitch. After a few seconds he is motionless. Cut back to Tim Dross.] TD: Oh great, I can just hear parents turning off their televisions. Doesn't anyone screen these interviews? Anyway, one wrestler who isn't too thrilled about Ring Wars II is Mr. Damage, who is not scheduled to compete on the card. He's none too happy about it and gave us the following comments: [Mr. Damage lounges in a hotel room watching TV when "Inside the IIWF" comes on. He grabs the remote control and turns off the TV.] MD: A few people have been asking why Mr. Damage isn't in Ring Wars II. There are a few reasons for this. First, the obvious homosexual connotation in the title of this PPV event. Ring Wars sounds like Ladies night at the Blue Oyster Bar. Secondly, no one has the intestinal fortitude to take me on. And finally I'm busy that night: I have to cut my toenails, have a couple of drinks with the blokes down at the pub, and "Laverne and Shirley" is on the telly. I might change the channel and have an apathetic glance at the event. I guess the PPV isn't going to be successful since I am not taking part. I heard ticket pre-sales dropped by 20% when I said I wouldn't be taking part. It's not because I'm popular its because all those ignorant morons who pay money to see me wrestle know that I have the talent. I will say this though, Warnett and Lebec... two pretty boys in a Hair Vs Hair match... if I had half a chance I'd shave both your heads with a rusty old razor. Antonio and Tiger Claw in a baseball bat match... if I could, I'd wrap the bat in barbed wire and shove it up your [BLEEP] sideways. My best wishes go out to the Hangman and the Atomic Destroyers who I know will finally dispose of this matter with the indignant Fisto Flash. Now leave me alone you ignorant [BLEEP]. [Cut back to Dross.] TD: I don't know fans, that sounds like sour grapes to me. I think Mr. Damage is the ONLY person not looking forward to Ring Wars II! Two who certainly ARE looking forward to the event are Magus and Prisoner #109 -- a very unlikely and dangerous combination. Let's hear from the lunatic Magus now: [SCENE: Magus stands on the roof of a seven-story building. The white coated men run around in the alleys below.] MAGUS: These men are supposed to keep the people safe by controlling the mentally unstable... THEY ARE NOT DOING A GOOD JOB! I laugh in their faces and I spit at them as well! Archangel, your face shall be the next to be laughed at and spat upon! YOU COME TO SAVE PUNSTER?! YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENED TO PUNSTER?! THAT WILL BE YOU NEXT! YOU JUST SAW INTO YOUR FUTURE!! [Magus spits over the ledge and it hits one of the white coated men, square on the head.] BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!! Anyone who steps in front of me is just plain stupid. They shall all get theirs. "Nuclear" John Bomber got his. Prisoner #109, you are very similar to me. I'm glad President Spreadbury put us together. And now, for one last thing. I challenge ANYONE, and I DO MEAN ANYONE TO A STRAIGHTJACKET MATCH!!! [Fade] TD: I would think that Magus takes to straightjacket matches the way Deathbringer handles casket matches -- very well. We'll see if anyone accepts the challenge of the madman. One of the matches I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night is the log scaffold match between the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko and "The Enigma" Takezo Musashi. These two went at it in the Battle Lines Battle Royal and you can bet that bad blood will spill over to Ring Wars II. With their expert martial arts backgrounds, this match should be a treat for American fans. Let's hear from Takezo Musashi as he prepares for this contest: [SCENE: The Enigma sits in his meditation room as he always does when pressing matters are on his mind. The only light comes from a pair of flickering candles which reflect the silver and blue paint on Musashi's face] TM: The Enigma has many trials set before him, the dishonorable forces of evil beset him from all sides. I have seen a vision of my spirit, struggling at the centre of a cosmic vortex, so it is with my life in the ring. On the one hand, is my old manager, the man without scruples, "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, now hell bent on my destruction. On the other hand, my old nemesis, Hakiro Matsuoko, returning to haunt me, lusting for redemption at Ring Wars. But as I have said before, the Enigma is a warrior at his strongest when the odds are stacked against him. I live for the challenge of glorious combat, so let all my foes beware! Don McQueen, I know you are coming after me, but be warned! The Enigma is ever alert for danger, I have the sixth sense of the Kami spirit, you will not be able to take me by surprise. I am not afraid of your new thugs McQueen, though their nature is still a mystery to me. You had better hope that they are strong in spirit and ruthless too, for it will take more than a strong and ruthless being to overcome the Enigma! Hakiro Matsuoko, your fate draws ever nearer. Are your meditations disturbed Angel of the Rising Sun? Are you having trouble focusing your warrior spirit? It would seem likely, for every time you look deep inside your twisted soul you see a vision of I, Takezo Musashi, the man who exposed you for the dishonorable thug you are. The man that though you will never admit it to yourself, you know that you cannot hope to defeat! I have proven this to you thrice now Matsuoko, once in the past before the eyes of the Grandmaster, once in a tag team bout with my friend Shinja Chow, and most recently when I eliminated you from Battle Lines. But each time you would dispute my victories, or cower away to escape the conclusive defeat. At Ring Wars, Matsuoko, you will not have the opportunity to evade me. It shall be just the two of us, face to face on the log scaffold high above the arena floor where none of your lackeys will be able to interfere. Matsuoko, this will be the time of reckoning, I shall stand victorious in the honour of the Grandmaster's memory, and you shall plummet from the log in flames, to perish forever in the IIWF. [Musashi lowers his head and the candles mysteriously flicker out, plunging the room into darkness] TD: Takezo Musashi certainly seems ready for.... [Dross puts two fingers over his ear piece and nods.] Fans, I'm being told from the truck that we have a live feed to a local hotel where The Syndicate is holding an impromptu press conference. We've been trying to reach Brian Lau with no success, so this may be our chance to get The Syndicate's story on what went down Wednesday night. [Dross looks off camera] Do we have the hookup? What? [he listens to his ear piece again] Okay fans, I'm told that there is a slight delay in that press conference. While we're waiting for that, let's take a look at my second trip to New Orleans this week. I had another opportunity to meet with the Lady DeWinter on Thursday. Although my trip did not uncover any additional information, she HAS promised to unveil her mystery wrestler to the IIWF tomorrow night at Ring Wars II, and I can tell you that there is a lot of financial backing behind whomever this mystery wrestler is. Take a look: [Fade in outside an old European-style mansion outside New Orleans. Tim Dross walks up the front steps and rings the doorbell.] TD: Apparently, this is the mansion that the Lady DeWinter and her mystery man stay in during their visits in America. It certainly is impressive.... [The door opens and the butler emerges.] TB: Ah, Mr. Dross I believe. Milady is expecting you. If you would care to follow me? [The pair walk down a long ornate hallway. Various works of art and museum pieces decorate the walls and tables. The butler opens a door down the hallway and ushers Tim into the next room.] TD: Wow. [The room, which has a marble tile floor, is just as extravagantly decorated as the rest of the house. However, what is most notable about the room is the 25 meter swimming pool in the center, surrounded by white marble fluted columns reaching up to the ceiling. As Dross enters, Lady DeWinter pulls herself out of the swimming pool and an attendant hands her a towel before placing a silk dressing gown over her shoulders.] LD: [looking up, smiling] Ah, Tim. Right on time. I do hope you like the house. It is _his_, you know. It's fairly plain and there are only sixteen guest bedrooms, but one has to make do in this godforsaken land. TD: [shocked] Six...teen...bedrooms? LD: I know, and the banquet hall is far too small, but still, this is only his second home after all. His Lancashire home is unmatched in Europe, except for the houses of royalty, of course. TD: Is he home? LD: You really are anxious to meet him, aren't you? But no, he isn't here at the moment, he's having a suit fitted. [she smiles coyly] Why do you ask? TD: I just wanted to know. [he clears his throat.] OK, so far we have a very rich Englishman.... LD: I never said he was English. TD: ...and a former Olympic silver medalist who lives in a $22 million second home in New Orleans. You know, Milady, for three interviews you still haven't told us very much about him. LD: You'll see everything you need to know at Ring Wars II when I will be officially introducing the IIWF to quite simply _the_ greatest ring technician in the world. TD: Now that's quite a claim. LD: And one which he can more than back up in the ring. As the [sarcasm] athletes in the IIWF will no doubt find out soon enough. TD: I think you could be severely underestimating the competition he'll be facing here in the IIWF.... LD: [laughing] Not at all. I simply have total confidence in my man's abilities, as does he. TD: Or overconfidence. LD: [pulling a bellrope] Well, we'll just have to see when he steps in the ring. Enough of this, I have to get ready to meet him at the Embassy. Oh, one last thing, Little Miss Becky LaRue, [sarcasm] you really must tell me the name of your hairdressers. If only you could show as much taste in choosing your clothes as you did in choosing your name, you might just be able to drag yourself out of middle class mediocrity. TD: [to himself] Okay, mental note to edit that out before Becky sees this interview. [The door opens and the butler enters the room] TB: Yes Milady? LD: Reeves, would you kindly show Mr. Dross to the door? Goodbye Tim, I'll see you at Ring Wars. Then all your questions, and all your doubts, will be answered. [Lady DeWinter leaves the room through a side door as the Butler leads Tim out. Cut back to Tim Dross in Indianapolis.] TD: Oh darn, I meant to edit that little snipe at Becky. Oh well, maybe she isn't watching. Who is this mystery wrestler? It's just one more reason to tune into Ring Wars II, fans. Call your local cable operators now! [Dross again puts his finger to his ear piece.] Okay, I understand that we now have the link to The Syndicate's press conference, so let's go to that now: [Cut to the shot of a makeshift interview stage in the lobby of a hotel. Several reporters sit at the front of the room and fans mill about the chairs, wondering who is about to come into the lobby. Many of the fans see a smiling Kenny Tanaka enter the room and they moan in disappointment. Some of the fans seem interested, however.] KT: Hello, people. Hello, folks at home. I've got a special interview for you all. Following the events of Wednesday night, there has to be some kind of explanation. Arriving in a moment will be Brian Lau, but first, let me interview some other members of the Syndicate. First, I shall talk to Hakiro Matsuoko and Casey James. [Casey and Hakiro make their way to the seats and sit to be interviewed.] KT: Guys, tough luck about that Battle Royal. CJ: It may work out in the end. HM: [looks at Casey, then shakes his head a bit] What Casey means is that Otto Verhoeven is a worthy man to get a title shot. We would have preferred getting the shot ourselves, but since we did not win, we are happy that Herr Verhoeven will get the chance. We will stand behind him. CJ: I can respect a man like Herr Verhoeven. He knows exactly what he wants, and he reaches out and takes it. He'd make a great champion for the IIWF. Much better than some guy who wishes he were dead. Deathbringer, if you want to be dead, that can be arranged. Now, I want to talk about Man of Steel. I saw his press conference, and I was amused. Looks like he's blacked out a couple of times. Specifically when he was in the ring. That's really too bad. As much as I despise the guy, I've got to feel sorry for him. Watching a guy fall apart like that is tough for any self respecting athlete. I will not be showing any mercy in the War Games match, though. Man of Steel, prepare for Black Death. HM: Mercy. It's a funny thing. It can either be a good quality, or a weakness. I view it as a weakness. I will not let up and give an opponent the chance to beat me. Takezo Musashi will know exactly what I mean when we meet 20 feet over the ring. There can be only one winner, Takezo, and I'm afraid that will have to be me. KT: Thanks for your comments, guys. Next, I'd like to bring out the rest of the Syndicate. With Joe Latta and Intercontinental champion, Tiger Claw, here is Brian Lau! [The crowd gathered boos as the trio walk out. Joe seems to carefully scan the crowd as they walk to their seats.] KT: Are you looking for something, Joe? JL: In fact I am. Lately, we've been receiving threatening phone calls at the Dojo and in our hotel rooms. I'm assuming that it's Shinja Chow, because the guy keeps mentioning fire. I don't know what his problem is, but it's going to get solved really soon if he doesn't can it. BL: I've heard the story of Shinja Chow, and that's basically all it is. A story. Chow, I do not recall my father ever engaging in business where he'd set fire to someone's house. He was a business man, and his clients gave him the utmost respect. As for your dojo in San Francisco, I've never even seen the place. In fact, the only time I was in San Francisco was when I was with... some business partners. [Brian looks engaged in deep thought for a moment.] But I never burned a building down. Chow, leave me alone. This is not really what I wanted to talk about today, though. I wanted to address what happened after the Battle Royal on Wednesday. Tiger Claw accidentally hit Hardin with the baseball bat, but then proceeded to hit him again. Hardin, I'm going to explain something to you, and I hope you understand. You see, our beliefs are much different than the typical American ones. We believe that every deed a man does is remembered by some cosmic power, and those deeds are rewarded accordingly. All through life, our actions define who we are, and what will happen to us in the future. Hardin, you're an intelligent man, so I'm sure you know of this. Well, Mr. Hardin, think back to the Coronation Clash. You and your cronies cost Tiger Claw the World Title by blatantly cheating and having your friends hold Claw's legs down. Kinder is no longer here, and neither is Flare. You were the only one left to punish. That was what the first shot was. Fate had decided that retribution was to take place Wednesday night, and as a result, the bat found it's way to your arm. Now, the second shot was definitely not an accident. Tiger Claw had recognized the work of Fate, and realized that your Karma was coming back to you. He decided that you would then pay for your second crime. Think back to Midsummer Madness. You and Brad Kinder turned your back on Tiger Claw, again robbing him of the title. You have been rewarded for these actions, not by us, but by something much more powerful. You might lose the chance to fight for the title due to injuries. Well, that's the way harmony is maintained in this world. I consider this matter closed. Whether you understand my words or not is up to you, and how you react is also your decision. Either you can understand and accept what has happened to you, or you can be angry with us. Coming after us would be a mistake, Hardin. I would much rather continue working together. KT: But Tiger Claw looked like he enjoyed hitting Hardin the second time. BL: Would you not be overcome with joy if you were chosen as the hand of a greater power? Tiger Claw was under the influence of Fate! Tell me you wouldn't be ecstatic. KT: Good point. Well, we're running short on time, so we can't take any questions from the floor. We'll see you all at Ring Wars II! [The crowd begins a chorus of sucking noises for Kenny, who just sits there confused. Cut back to Tim Dross at The Hoosier Dome.] TD: Fate? It's the biggest week in professional wrestling and they use _fate_ as an excuse to brutally attack a man and possibly end his career? As for how Outlaw J.W. Hardin takes this attack, I think Outlaw Josey Wales summed it up well earlier: Hardin's friends will be in The Hoosier Dome along with The Syndicate tomorrow night. I wouldn't want to be in Brian Lau's shoes at Ring Wars II. Tag team action will be hot and heavy tomorrow night and Stunt Team USA will be right in the middle of it with a shot at the IIWF belts. Ron Fire and Steve Forget seem to be peaking at the right time, as evidenced by the following footage: [SCENE: The gym. Ron Fire and Steve Forget stand beneath the football, still wondering about how to solve their task] RF: A'right, now we tried 'diz 'bout a hundred times. It doesn't work. There's no way to hit it. SF: Let's think a bit about what the Wizard said: no foreign objects, no cheating and every man on his own... Every man on his own... I guess I got it! RF: ??? SF: Com' on over to the corner! [Ron and Steve walk over to one of the turnbuckles. Steve climbs it and then carefully steps on Ron's shoulders] RF: Hey, whaddya doin' ? SF: I'm solving this puzzle. Now carefully walk a bit toward the middle of the ring! [Ron slowly walks through the ring with Steve on his shoulders, while Steve uses all his concentration to keep his balance. After a few steps Ron stops and Steve looks up to the ball, which now isn't too far away anymore. In a display of awesome agility he executes a standing dropkick and succeeds in hitting the ball before falling down hard on the canvas] RF: Damn... Ya OK, Steve? SF: Hey, I did this the whole day just a few months ago. [Suddenly a voice is heard saying: "Well done, my knights." Belgarath enters the scene] BM: At last you succeeded in solving my task. It took quite a while, but in the end you completed it. I'm very proud of you! RF: Er... I don't quite get 'diz. Ya said no foreign objects and no cheatin', right? BM: Thou art correct! RF: But ya also said _every man on his own_. Now Steve didn't do this on his own, did he? BM: No, of course not. And that is exactly the solution of this task. Look, you two are a tag-team, meaning that each of you depends on the other. This is what you had to learn. RF: I see. So ya mean that if one of us is in deep trouble, the other one shall come to his aid, even if the rules don't allow it? BM: Exactly, Sir Fire! But there's another point that possibly is even more important: If you can see the prize, do whatever is needed to attain it. SF: Even if one of us is sacrificed... BM: Yes, Sir Forget, I see you understand what I wanted to show to you! RF: Sacrificed? SF: Listen. The Wizard wanted both of us to kick that ball. But it wasn't possible without working together. However, only one of us was able to do it. The other had to stand back and didn't get the prize! RF: Aha... So ya mean that if we see the goal, one shall go for it while the other one waits, watches his back, and eventually defends his mission, right? BM: Yes, that's it! So today you learned another useful lesson. Stand as a team, work as a team, sacrifice yourself to defend you partner. Never let your team be divided. See yourself as a single unity. These are the five principles you shall never forget. It's not one of you who can get the belts tomorrow night, it's the both of you! With the understanding of this knowledge you hold a mighty sword in your hands. Use it wisely. And may the dragonslayers be crowned the new kings! [With these words the Wizard leaves the gym. Ron and Steve look at each other. You can almost see a glance of understanding in their eyes. Cut back to Tim Dross.] TD: Persistence paid off for Stunt Team USA in that little test. Let's see if it pays off in the ring tomorrow night against Armed Forces and the High Plains Drifters. Speaking of the cowboys, let's hear from them now: [SCENE: A dingy gym. The High Plains Drifters are going over some manoeuvres in a ring.] Pale Rider: Wooo...take five...ya know Easy, we really got it made. Easy Rider: Uh, why do you say that? PR: Well, we're "the Best Tag Team" in the IIWF already, and now we got this opportunity to get those flimsy IIWF Tag Title Belts...with all the money that comes with them! ER: Oh yeah...wait...let me get this straight...the Armed Fairies have the titles now, but tomorrow we get to wrestle them, along with the Dud Team, to take it from them? Tell me how this is supposed to be fair for the other two teams? PR: Can't do it, partner. Mr. Wales has a game plan for us and when it's all over with, we'll take OUR belts back from those two windbags! ER: Amen to that...I'm sick of hearin' their constant yammerin'. You'd think they're getting paid by the word. PR: Ha...you'd reckon so would'nt 'cha? Well they'll learn we get paid by the beatings we give out! ER: I guess we'll get paid double on Saturday. [Cut back to Dross.] One team which would like to be in that big elimination match is The Arabian Knights, who instead will be taking on Aces of the Deep in the Ring Wars II free-for-all. We caught up with the Knights earlier today: [Cut to a studio with the Arabian Knights and the Grand Vizier.] PA: Once again the IIWF has disappointed me. We are not even in a main event match at Ring Wars II. Instead, we are taking part in something called the free-for-all. This is not good, I am a Prince I should be getting top billing on EVERY card! It is not often that the public is granted the chance to see royalty in the ring! [The Prince turns to the Grand Vizier and the two men start to argue. The conversation is in Arabic but occasional sentences in English can be heard such as: "It's your job to arrange these things." After awhile, the argument ceases ] PA: It seems that our opponents are once again the Aces of the Deep. How often must we crush these jellyfish men, these spineless whelps, these men who are beneath our contempt? They are nearly as low as.... no I cannot bear to utter their names. Vizier, you may speak now. [The Vizier looks hesitant] GV: Thank you Prince. [The Prince throws the Vizier a dark look] GV: Oh yes, Aces of the Deep, prepare to feel the full force of the Arabian Knights. It would seem that the impression you have made here in the IIWF has been an instantly forgettable one. You would have trouble beating those fat useless Rotundos. We really do need a higher level of competition. It would seem that the top teams here in the IIWF have been dodging the Arabian Knights. Obviously they have seen our potential and have been running scared, but it is about time that the Arabian Knights are given an opportunity to win the tag team belts! Armed Forces, do you really think anyone cares about your past? How you met where you went to school? You must be two of the most boring and unliked champions in years. You are nothing more than a couple of windbags. And as for the High Planes Drifters, [he laughs] you are a spent force. All you ever do is interfere in everyone else's matches. When did you last beat anyone of merit in the ring? All of the tag teams in the championship match at Ring Wars II are mid-carders at best and we will happily step into the ring with any of them just to prove our point. [The Prince and the Vizier start arguing once again.] GV: Mr Mic, I'm still waiting to hear your reply to my challenge, Arabian Knights versus Pain Inc. in a "manager leaves town" match. What is the matter, Mr Mic? It is obvious that, when it comes down to it, you are just too chicken! Oh, to see the look on your face when the Arabian Knights once again crush your feeble little Pain Inc.! [he laughs] [The Prince and Vizier leave the studio still arguing. Omar, however, remains staring at the camera. As the shot fades, a hint of a smile can be seen forming on his face. Cut back to Dross.] TD: Perhaps Mr. Mic will answer the challenge of the Grand Vizier in this interview, conducted with Bulldog Brown: [Cut to the IIWF interview area. Seated is Bulldog Brown with Mr. Mic and Pain Inc. Pain Inc. have their arms folded and are wearing very elaborate robes with their chain mail masks, they are staring forwards, expressionless.] Bulldog: Welcome, Mr.Mic, just two things to ask of you. Mr.Mic: Well, hurry up -- I don't have all day. Bulldog [growling]: OF COURSE, first... what about Ring Wars II? Mr.Mic: What about it, oh I heard the Zodiac Connection on Tuesday night running their mouths. Hey, you morons like to read in the stars huh, NO PROBLEM..after Pain Inc. finishes with ya you can read the stars circling your head. You guys have no idea how mad my Pain Inc. can get. After Saturday night there'll be only 10 signs left cause Taurus and Scorpio are HISTORY. Bulldog: Now, about the Arab.... Mr.Mic: No, No I'm taking over from here. 7-11 Knights, the only puppets in this league are you bozos although I think a few strings have snapped inside Omar's head. [He laughs] that boy is a few fries short of a Happy Meal. You want a manager leaves town match...no problem but let's not stop there let's make it a NO-DQ match as well!!!! As for giving me a proposition???? I don't think so but the one your sister gave me was kind of...now what's the word I'm looking for... oh yeah, HORRID! She's got more facial hair than Tom Selleck. Oh sorry, am I hurting your feelings Brassiere? Oh, by the way you may not recognize your mom when you get home...I SHAVED HER BACK. Ha ha ha. Keep talking 7-11 Knights, your days are numbered. Bulldog: Aren't you worried about you losing your job as manager? Mr.Mic: Bulldog, I didn't show up off the turnip truck yesterday you dolt!!! Don't worry, the 7-11 Knights will be counting sand in the Sahara after Pain Inc. takes care of them!!!! [Cut back to Dross.] TD: Well, he's past the monosyllabic stage. I'm sure Bulldog Brown has a great career in broadcast journalism ahead of him... but will Mr. Mic's managerial career be cut short? That Manager Leaves Town match could well go down in the very near future... Let's move on to discuss the Baseball Bat Cage Match between Tiger Claw and Don Antonio here tomorrow night; it seems the Don has enlisted the help of some very famous names in his quest for victory: [The Family is addressing the crowd gathered in the Don's gym to see what they have in store for Ring Wars II.] SF: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you the next IIWF Intercontinental Champion, DON ANTONIO!!! DA: Good evening folks, I dont have much to say today because as you all know I am in the midst of preparing for tomorrow night's match. The one announcement I want to make is that in the last couple of weeks I have had a partner and some may say mentor in my workouts. He is a man respected and loved by many, a man who will be by my side through thick and thin. Ladies and gentlemen, Mister ROCKY BALBOA!!!!!!!! [The crowd goes berzerk as the former World Heavyweight Boxing Champion joins the Family at the podium.] Rocky: EH!!!! Hello IIWF!!! [More applause] RB: When Don Antonio called me and asked me to help him train for his match at Ring Wars II, I said, eh Don, I don't wrestle, but the Don said Rock, I already know how to wrestle, what I need from you is the intangibles. I need your dedication and motivation, your driving force. DA: That's right folks, Rock has something that every man wants. He has a fire that burns inside of him. Don't get me wrong, Don Antonio also possesses that fire, but in my match against Tiger Claw I want that fire to burn like it never has before. I want it to burn like it burns in Rocky Balboa. I also needed one more thing, I needed the aid of a man who knew how to use a bat and that's why I have also enlisted the help of Mr. Ken Griffey Jr.!! [Ken walks out and also joins the Family at the podium.] KGJ: Folks, I am pleased to announce that if the Don chooses, the Seattle Mariners may enlist his aid in the chase for the pennant next year. This man has got the skills folks. [The crowd once again goes nuts!!] DA: Fans of the IIWF, I will not let you down. The time has come for the forces of the Syndicate to go down once and for all. I have never been as determined as I am today and I vow to avenge my loss against Tiger Claw last month and to regain, once and for all, the Intercontinental Championship Belt! VC: And while da Don is kickin Tiger Claw's butt, I'm gonna be kickin some butt myself. There's only one man dat stands in between da forces of light and victory and his name is da Man of Steel. Steel, we've been friends for a while now but I've never seen such blatant disregard of respect as I seen in you. I am warnin' you Steel, don't make dat mistake tomorrow. I will be watchin your moves extra carefully. SF: All right folks we have had enough to say today, you'll all see the rest tomorrow. [The Family and their cronies walk back to their locker room. Cut back to Dross.] TD: Let's hope that training has paid off, folks. That baseball bat match is going to be huge. Also on tomorrow night's card will be a special Hair vs. Hair match between "Showstopper" Simon Lebec and the wild Welshman, Marty Warnett. Let's hear from the party animal in an interview conducted here in the Dome by myself earlier on tonight: [Cut to the front few rows of seating at the ringside enclosure. Behind the seated Marty Warnett and Tim Dross, ring staff work on erecting the lighting rig.] TD: Marty, some last minute quotes on your bout with Lebec here tomorrow night... MW: Lebec, you say I'm here pissing vinegar, wrong pal, I'm here swigging J.D, and pissing 100 proof. For all your fine words and less than fine deeds, there can be only one winner at Ring Wars - and in a gutcheck contest, you'd lose to, well, just about anybody with a digestive system. Be prepared for a war, and don't feel too badly - I mean, I could have been somebody like Sexton or Magus, who you've cost bouts ... now I've gotta go prepare. TD: What about Lau and the Syndicate? [Marty turns and exits, laughing. The microphone picks up a reference to "being complete when they have a leprechaun". Cut back to Tim Dross.] TD: Well, Warnett is certainly confident, folks. Will he be cold up top after Ring Wars II tomorrow night? We'll find out in just about 24 hours from now. ************************************************************************** ----------------- RING WARS II: LAYING DOWN THE LINE ------------------ ************************************************************************** TD: Our current U.S. Tour has taken the IIWF through some great cities, but one of my personal favorites was our Midweek Mayhem stop in Las Vegas. I don't often travel with the Midweek Mayhem entourage in their lovely Ford Escort, but the chance to visit the city known for its neon and casinos was more than this broadcaster could stand. While in Las Vegas, I met a big fan of the IIWF, "Slick" Vic Carlucci, who hosts an odds-making show on the Las Vegas Cable System. Vic has offered to lay down the line on Ring Wars II tonight, so please welcome "Slick" Vic Carlucci. [Meager applause from the crowd as a tall, thin, greasy-looking man in a pinstripe suit strolls over to the broadcast station. His pencil-thin moustache curls as he smiles at Tim Dross, revealing a gold-capped tooth.] VC: Hey, Timbo. How's it goin'? It's great to see ya again! TD: Thanks for joining us, Vic. Now I have to stress to our fans that gambling is illegal outside of Las Vegas.... VC: Yeah, but so is prostitution Tim-Man! TD: ...so we are in no way endorsing gambling with this spot. But I thought our fans may be interested to know what a Las Vegas oddsmaker thinks about Ring Wars II. VC: Well Timminator, I think all the fans out there ought to rig their cable boxes and watch.... TD: [loudly] AHEM! AHEM! VC: ...eh? Oh. I mean they should CALL their local cable operators and ORDER Ring Wars II on pay-per-view. TD: That's great. Although I meant that our fans would be interested to know what you think about the odds for tomorrow night's matches. Let's run down the card as it currently stands and see what you think, Vic. VC: Okeeeey! ************************************************* IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CASKET MATCH: Deathbringer vs. ? ************************************************* VC: Well you know, Timmarino, I can't put odds on a match with an intangible like that. I originally had Deathbringer and J.W. Hardin at even money, but until we know who the new challenger is, I don't want to touch this match. TD: Fair enough. Let's move on to: **************************************************************** WAR GAMES MATCH: Dan Kauffman's Team vs. Casey "Blackheart" James' Team **************************************************************** VC: A week ago, the odds were heavily in the favor of Casey James and his band of roving thugs, but this latest incident with Tiger Claw and Deathbringer has brought this match back to even money. Kauffman's team is banged up and there are a lot of egos there, but there may be too much bad blood on James' team. This one is too close to call. TD: I'll have to agree with you on that. How about: ************************************ IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE BASEBALL BAT MATCH: Tiger Claw vs. Don Antonio ************************************ VC: There's no good way to make book on a gimmick match like this, but I think I've finally figured this one out. Everyone knows that the Italians can't play baseball worth a damn...oops, can I say that on TV? TD: Becky LaRue has said worse. VC: Ayyy, that Becky -- she's a sweet girl. Anyway, the Italians suck at baseball, and I should know because I am Italian. But the Taiwanese always win the Little League World Series, so they know something about baseball bats. I'm making Tiger Claw a 2-1 favorite to keep the Intercontinental Belt. TD: That's rather strange logic, especially since Claw is from Thailand, but you're the pro. VC: You said it, T-Dog. TD: Let's move on: *************************************************************** THREE-WAY IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP ELIMINATION MATCH: Armed Forces vs. High Plains Drifters vs. Stunt Team USA *************************************************************** VC: Jeez, you think you could fit anyone else in the ring? Gimme a break here. Just make the champs, The Armed Forces, even money favorites to keep the belts. TD: Okay. How about: *************************************************************** LOG SCAFFOLD MATCH: "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi *************************************************************** VC: Now see, my baseball bat logic doesn't work with this match because the Japanese don't know squat about logs. Now if this was a "Transistor Death Match" or something like that.... TD: Just give us the odds, Vic. VC: Okay, okay. The Enigma is on a roll lately, so I'm gonna go with him as a slight favorite, although it's hard to bet against The Syndicate. That Brian Lau is a sneaky one. Know what I mean? TD: I'm afraid I do, Vic. Next up is: ******************************************** HAIR vs. HAIR MATCH: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Marty Warnett ******************************************** VC: Heh, heh. Me and the boys in Vegas are calling this one the "shear delight" match. Warnett -- or Walnut as Hardin always calls him...heh, that really kills me -- he isn't a bad kid, but he's too young to take on the experience and friends of Lebec. I make Lebec a three-to-one favorite. TD: Those are some heavy odds. That brings us to the: *********************************************** LUMBERJACK RULES NOOSE MATCH: The Hangman vs. Fisto Flash (w/Atomic Destroyers) (w/Heavy Metal) *********************************************** VC: My mother always said to never bet against a steel prosthesis. I've never forgotten that. Fisto Flash is a slight favorite. TD: Wow, your mother said that? [Vic nods.] Next up is the: ************************************ TEXAS BULLROPE STEEL CAGE MATCH: Pain Inc. vs. The Zodiac Connection ************************************ VC: I like to call the Zodiacs, "Losers with Venus Rising." Heh, heh. There's no way Pain Inc. will lose this one. Bank on it! TD: I may take some of that action. Give me a dollar on the Zodiacs. VC: Ooh, a whole buck! You big spender. TD: And finally we have the: ************************************************** IIWF FREE FOR ALL: ? & Archangel vs. Magus & Prisoner #109 The Arabian Knights vs. Aces of the Deep ************************************************** VC: My papa always said never bet on a free for all, so I'm not making a line here. TD: You had a very strange childhood, didn't you Vic? VC: Ahhh, no stranger than any other five-year-old bookie. TD: Well thanks for coming to Indianapolis and giving us your... ummm... insight into Ring Wars II. VC: It was my pleasure, Timmasaur! TD: Fans, I'm getting word that the IIWF Executive Committee has just concluded its meeting inside The Hoosier Dome, so we should soon be getting word on what changes will be in effect for Ring Wars II. Let's take a quick break and hear from the IIWF's newest sponsor, Slim Slam Diet Drink. We'll be right back! [Cut to commercial break. A shot of a young couple running through a meadow flashes on the screen. The well-endowed but shapely woman is dressed only in a bikini, and the shirtless man's rippling abdomen and muscular arms are also prominent. The shot freezes and two huge men burst through the screen. They are immediately recognizable to IIWF fans as Rotundo 1 and Rotundo 2 -- the tag team known as The Rotundos.] R1: Hey! We're the Rotundos! We're 925 pounds of pure terror for any IIWF tag team that gets in our way. R2: Yeah, but sometimes we eat too much and get above our competitive weights. The big man here really loves his triple cheeseburgers. R1: What about your little habit of eating sour cream right from the container? R2: Hey, I eat a couple of bags of potato chips with it! And I wash it all down with a few six-packs! [A narrator's voice takes over the audio:] NV: Ever feel like you're one of the Rotundos? Ever feel like a complete and worthless tub of goo? [The Rotundos get a puzzled look and begin searching the set.] R1: Hey, where's that voice comin' from? R2: Who the hell IS that? NV: Well now you're in luck because Slim Slam Diet Drink has the solution for you. Slim Slam has an entire day's worth of vitamins and minerals, yet there are only 15 calories in every 12-ounce serving. And best of all...it's fat-free! [Someone tosses Rotundo 2 a can of Slim Slam. He eagerly pops the top and begins chugging it.] NV: Slim Slam Diet Drink is recommended by all the top trainers.... R2: This stuff tastes like sh.... NV: ...and it's available in three great flavors: chocolate, chocolate mocha, and chocolate mint. R1: Ain't these guys never heard of strawberry? R2: I wonder what beer flavor would taste like? R1: Duh! Like beer, dummy! NV: So try Slim Slam Diet Drink today. If we can help these guys, we can help you! R1: Are we gettin' paid for this? R2: I ain't drinkin' no more of this sh.... NV: And look for the Slim Slam Blimp this Saturday at Ring Wars II! [Fade to black.] ************************************************************************** ------------- WELCOME BACK TO "THE ROAD TO RING WARS II ---------------- ************************************************************************** [As the shot comes back from the break, Dross has his index finger over his ear piece listening intently.] TD: Folks, I've just been informed that we now have IIWF President Dan Spreadbury LIVE from the interview set we'll be using tomorrow night inside The Hoosier Dome at Ring Wars II. [Cut to split-screen with Dross on the left and President Spreadbury, adjusting an ear piece, on the right.] President Dan, can you hear me? DS: [raising a microphone] Yes I can, Tim. TD: First of all, I'd like to thank you for joining us tonight. I know this has been a long day for you and the rest of the IIWF Executive Committee. DS: It's been an extremely long day, Tim, but our great fans deserve to know what's going to happen at Ring Wars II. Still, I know I speak for every member of the Executive Committee when I say that I don't care to ever repeat the events of the last three days. TD: Eventful days they have been, sir. But the IIWF's fans around the world are now wondering who will replace Outlaw J.W. Hardin in the main event casket match against Deathbringer tomorrow night at Ring Wars II. Have you and the Executive Committee named a replacement? DS: Yes, we have unanimously decided on a wrestler to replace J.W. Hardin to challenge Deathbringer for the IIWF World Championship tomorrow night. First, let me say that there was no legal precedent for this action and no clause regarding an injury was written into the contract for this match. Therefore, it fell upon myself and the IIWF Executive Committee to make the best possible decision -- the decision which would best serve the IIWF. I will say that Brian Lau petitioned us to substitute Tiger Claw in the casket match. This option was given due consideration, but it would have required Don Antonio to sign a waiver of his match with the Intercontinental Champion tomorrow night. Mr. Antonio refused to sign the waiver, so his match with Tiger Claw must legally be held. I do not think it is prudent to permit Tiger Claw to wrestle twice in one night and no other member of The Syndicate holds a high enough ranking to warrant a title shot. TD: I'll bet that didn't set well with Brian Lau. DS: Mr. Lau has threatened litigation against the IIWF, but that is nothing new to us as you well know, Tim. Mr. Lau then submitted Cadaver's name as a possible replacement, but as I have said many times before, I consider Cadaver to be one of the most sinister individuals in all of professional wrestling. Cadaver does not have a contract with the IIWF nor will he as long as I am president of the IIWF. That immediately excludes him from consideration. Every effort will be made by our security team to keep him from even entering The Hoosier Dome tomorrow night. TD: Perhaps I should just ask you directly, Mr. President. Who will challenge Deathbringer for the IIWF World Championship tomorrow night in the casket match? DS: Tim, it is my belief and the belief of every member of the IIWF Executive Committee that only one man has a legitimate claim to that spot -- and I must stress the fact that he earned the opportunity Wednesday night at Midweek Mayhem. I am announcing now that "The Butcher" Otto Verhoeven, as the winner of the Battle Lines Battle Royal, will challenge Deathbringer tomorrow night in one-half of the double main event. The IIWF World Championship _will_ be on the line and all stipulations in the contract signed by Deathbringer and Outlaw J.W. Hardin will be in effect. I spoke with Otto Verhoeven less than an hour ago and he accepted the proposal set forth by the Executive Committee. It appears that the match is now signed and sealed... all that is left is to deliver it. We will do that tomorrow night right here at Ring Wars II. I also realize that this decision left a vacancy on one team in the other main event -- the War Games match. In Otto Verhoeven's absence, we have decided that Mr. Damage, who was not scheduled to compete tomorrow night, will assume that spot and join Casey James' team. TD: Wow! "The Butcher" versus Deathbringer. I think that's a matchup many expected to happen next week, but now it will be thrust into an international spotlight with millions of fans watching around the world. DS: We're excited about it, Tim. And let me just say to Outlaw J.W. Hardin, who I'm sure is watching from his hospital room, that we all wish him the best in his recovery from this career-threatening injury. Should he be able to return to action, every effort will be made to secure another title match -- whenever that may be. I haven't always agreed with The Outlaw's style or motives, but this is a tragic injury for any wrestler to sustain. We are still uncertain as to the extent of The Punster's injuries and how they will affect his future, but our thoughts certainly go out to him -- as they do to Chris Quigley, who I understand was taken to the hospital Wednesday. We've never seen carnage like we did at Midweek Mayhem. TD: I understand that there is a fund available to wrestlers whose careers are cut short by injuries. DS: That's right, Tim. In fact, it was established by long-time professional wrestler Bulldog Brown, who just this week joined our broadcast team. Every professional wrestling federation, with the exception of one in the northeast which shall remain nameless, contributes to this worthwhile fund for wrestlers who, because of injury, can no longer rely on this great sport for their livelihood. Funds will be made available to Outlaw J.W. Hardin and The Punster should they be unable to step back into the squared circle. But both of those men are tough competitors and I'm certain that they will someday be back in the ranks of the IIWF. TD: We heard earlier that The Punster will not compete at Ring Wars II. Can you tell us who will team with the Archangel against the Partners in Crime? DS: I posed that very question to The Archangel and Bishop Right earlier today, permitting them to choose a tag partner. The answer was quite surprising. I am announcing at this time that the Archangel will take on Magus and Prisoner #109 by himself in a handicap match. I didn't advise this, but the contract has been signed. TD: Wow, what a stunning development! While we have you live, Mr. President, I would like to ask you about the severity of the fine levied against Tiger Claw for his attack. DS: It is my belief that this is an isolated incident, however unfortunate, that occurred during a sanctioned IIWF event. Every wrestler in the IIWF understands the danger of stepping into the ring. The bottom line is that no fine will be levied against Tiger Claw, nor will a fine be levied against the Subway Psycho for continuing the attack. TD: No fine?! You've got to be kidding! DS: I assure you I'm not "kidding," Tim. TD: Okay, what about Mistress Sasha's demand that she take control of the Subway Psycho's booking? That revelation was made public on "Inside the IIWF" this week. DS: Yes, and it was rather unfortunate that Mistress Sasha's tape was aired on that program. It was my understanding that this matter was to be negotiated in private. TD: Negotiated? You mean.... DS: I MEAN that any booking must be approved by the IIWF Booking Committee. The IIWF will not be held hostage by an unhappy wrestler and his manager. I think there is some common ground on which we can work, but it doesn't help matters Mistress Sasha sends such a tape to "Inside the IIWF." TD: One last question, sir. Don Antonio has challenged your integrity in the past two months, yet he has placed his trust in you tomorrow night at Ring Wars II. You will be the only person with a key to the cage in which Don Antonio and Tiger Claw will be battling, yet there has been speculation that.... DS: Speculation? I think _real_ journalists can do more than speculate, Tim. If you're going to base your questions on speculation, then I think this interview is over. Good night! [President Spreadbury removes his ear piece, drops the microphone, and walks off the set.] TD: [taken aback] Well...it...certainly has been a long and stressful day for the IIWF's administrators, but we now have the missing pieces to the Ring Wars II puzzle and the card is once again complete. Although some of the top stars in the IIWF have been silent this week, we'll try to get their comments during tomorrow's show on what has happened this week. Right now, let's run down the revised card for Ring Wars II: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CASKET MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Deathbringer vs. "The Butcher" Otto Verhoeven ------------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= WAR GAMES MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dan Kauffman [c] vs. Casey "Blackheart" James [C] Man Of Steel Joe Latta "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley Mr. Damage "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare "Painbringer" Billy Sexton Vinny Cappicola The Sandman The White Phoenix "Badboy" Randy Acorn Subway Psycho Robski --------------------------------------------------------------------- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE BASEBALL BAT MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. Don Antonio ---------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THREE-WAY IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP ELIMINATION MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Armed Forces vs. High Plains Drifters vs. Stunt Team USA ------------------------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- LOG SCAFFOLD MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi -------------------------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= HAIR vs. HAIR MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Marty Warnett ------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LUMBERJACK RULES NOOSE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Hangman vs. Fisto Flash (w/Atomic Destroyers) (w/Heavy Metal) ------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TEXAS BULLROPE STEEL CAGE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Pain Inc. vs. The Zodiac Connection ------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------- IIWF Free For All: ----------------------------------------------------------------------- HANDICAP: Archangel vs. Magus & Prisoner #109 The Arabian Knights vs. Aces of the Deep ----------------------------------------------------------------------- ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 19 15 2 2 84% (WC) WC Tiger Claw H 25 14 10 1 58% (IC) IC Billy Shakespeare F 19 15 4 0 79% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Outlaw J.W. Hardin H 15 11 2 2 80% (1) 1 The White Phoenix F 5 4 1 0 80% (2) 2 Chris Quigley F 9 7 2 0 78% (3=) 3= Otto Verhoeven H 9 7 2 0 78% (3=) 3= Dan Kauffman F 19 13 4 2 74% (5) 5 Subway Psycho F 16 11 4 1 72% (6) 6 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 10 7 3 0 70% (7) 7 Billy Sexton H 16 10 6 0 63% (8) 8 Hakiro Matsuoko H 17 10 6 1 62% (9) 9 Don Antonio F 15 9 6 0 60% (10) 10 The Sandman H 10 6 4 0 60% (14) 11 Simon Lebec H 17 10 7 0 59% (11) 12 Vinny Cappicola F 11 5 3 3 59% (12) 13 Casey James H 17 9 6 2 59% (15) 14 Robski H 16 9 7 0 56% (13) 15 Man Of Steel F 22 11 9 2 55% (16) 16 Mr. Damage H 11 6 5 0 55% (17) 17 Joe Latta H 17 8 8 1 50% (18) 18 Fisto Flash H 16 7 7 2 50% (19) 19 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 10 4 4 2 50% (20) 20 Prince of Darkness H 16 6 7 3 47% (21) 21 The Hangman H 10 3 4 3 45% (22) 22 The Punster F 13 5 7 1 42% (24) 23 Marty Warnett F 10 4 6 0 40% (23) 24 Prisoner #109 H 10 3 6 1 35% (27) 25 Archangel F 6 2 4 0 33% (25) 26 Magus H 13 4 9 0 31% (26) 27 "Nuclear" John Bomber F 12 2 10 0 17% (28) 28 Sabin Figaro F 6 1 5 0 17% (29) 29 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Armed Forces H 13 9 3 1 73% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pain Inc. H 5 4 1 0 80% (1) 1 High Plains Drifters H 16 12 4 0 75% (2) 2 Heavy Metal H 7 5 2 0 71% (3=) 3 The Arabian Knights H 7 5 2 0 71% (3=) 4 Stunt Team USA F 16 10 6 0 63% (5) 5 Atomic Destroyers H 11 6 4 1 59% (6) 6 The Zodiac Connection F 6 3 3 0 50% (7) 7 Aces of the Deep F 7 2 5 0 29% (8) 8 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 4 4 0 0 100% (9) 9 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -- COMING TUESDAY: "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH LARRY MORTON & BECKY LaRUE -- ************************************************************************** TD: We're gearing up for a tremendous war tomorrow night at Ring Wars II and we know you're all planning to join us -- either in person or LIVE on pay-per-view. Your local cable operators are standing by their phones waiting for your call, so tell them right now that you want all of the action and excitement of Ring Wars II! The best way to catch up with all of the action of Ring Wars II is "Inside the IIWF" with your hosts Larry Morton and Becky LaRue. This Tuesday, Larry and Becky will have a special look back at Ring Wars II, complete with the highlights, interviews, and their own thoughts on the big event. So be sure to join us tomorrow for Ring Wars II, then join us on Tuesday for "Inside the IIWF." You'll be up to date on all the action... and all of your friends will be jealous of you. I leave you with comments from a man who has broken his ten-day silence following his ordeal at the hands of the Outlaw J.W. Hardin and Cadaver last weekend: I am, of course, talking about the captain of the "sheriffs" in the Wargames match tomorrow night, Dan Kauffman. I had the pleasure of visiting Kauffman yesterday, and here's what he had to say. Until tomorrow night, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [A still camera image shows a shot of the front of a brick, split-level home in a nice development. A school can be seen in the background, with swingsets, a jungle gym, basketball courts and a baseball diamond. Tim Dross comes into view just in front of the camera...] TD: Hello from Hagerstown, Maryland! I, am always, am Tin Dross, and I am at the estate of Dan Kauffman. As we all know, Kauffman was slammed into an airtight coffin, and afterwards, has not been seen since that time. Many IIWF fans have been wondering what happened to the leader of the good side. Well, I recieved a phone call from what sounded like a very emotional Dan Kauffman. he was reluctant to talk with me, but gave me his address, and here I am. Let's see if I can't get a word with him... [With that, Dross, followed by the camera, walks up to the front door and knocks fairly hard. No answer. Dross knocks again, and on the second knock, the door slowly swings open, revealing the form of a young woman, about the same age as Kauffman, dressed in blue jeans and a green silk dress shirt...] TD: Hello, ma'am. I'm Tim Dross, an interviewer for the IIWF. I came here wanting to talk with Dan Kauffman. [The woman looks at Dross quizically, but decides she does recognise him, and lets Dross through the door.] GD: Excuse me for that delay in deciding. I do recognise you, and I do trust you. Kauffman called me over so that he'd have... emotional support. TD: Is Kauffman in some kind of mental... GD: He'll tell you himself in a matter of seconds. I'm Giniffer Drury. I'm his friend of 10 years. He needed someone, and called me. That's my reason for being here. TD: Yes, he's told me a great deal about you. Where is Dan? GD: There's two flights of steps. At the bottom of the first, there's a door to your left. Just knock on it. He's there. [Dross says thanks, then proceeds down a flight of six wooden steps. He comes to a wooden door, which he knocks, and is answered by a quiet call.] DK: Who is it? TD: Tim Dross. You called. Wanted me to come interview you. DK: Enter the realm of Hell's Abyss, Dross. [Dross opens the wooden door, and he, along with the viewers, are seemingly taken to another world. The floor is made of wooden panels, trophy cases line the back walls, free weights and the infamous punching bag stand in the back corner, and the lone wrestling ring stands in the center. Kauffman sits in the corner of the ring, writing something on a legal pad...] TD: I never knew you took up writing as a hobby. DK: Poetry. It's calming. I've found it very useful in the last few days. It's been an outlet to my frustration. TD: I bet it has. [Pauses] Well, I'll ask point blank... will you be at Ring Wars II for the Wargames match? DK: And I'll answer point blank. Not only will I be in the Wargames match at Ring Wars II, I will lead my forces into battle. That's a promise. I will wrestle till my last breath that night. TD: So where have you been the last week? I mean, I know that your ultimate goal is to win the IIWF World Championship. But you don't even show up for the Battle Lines Battle Royal. Why? [A lengthy pause.] DK: There are many reasons for that disappearing act. But let me start from the beginning. [Kauffman looks right into the camera] No matter where my travels have taken me, no matter what I was up against in the wrestling world, no matter how bad the injuries, how fierce the rivalry, or how bad the beatings that I took became, I always had faith in myself. I had faith that if I was strong, that if I gave it the best shot I could, I would be able to overcome even the most bitter circumstances. I've always been a confident man. And I always believed in myself. I've always had worth. Then the Outlaw decides that he'd try his hand in taking me out of the IIWF. And he and I faced each other in a match. And out comes Cadaver. And ultimately, my head gets driven into the canvas. That's the first blow. But a minor one. I shook it off. But no man can shake off the effects of being slammed in a casket. There is no light. No air. You can see, hear, or even breathe. A man's world, his essence, his life is taken away. You have nothing. No power. No possibility of escaping. Everything is taken away. A man is rendered worthless. When I was pulled out of the casket by security, I could breathe, see, hear and move again. And after a while, I was fine physically. But that feeling of worthlessness stuck. Bad. So bad, that it still exists. A man can not be successful if he can not belive in himself. That was the very idea that the Outlaw wanted to put in my head. After the incident, I knew that any return to the ring would be futile, because I felt as if I could not succeed. I had my whole belief taken from me. And in that way, I too had my life taken away. My life was stolen. And now I must fight not only for my teammates, but for myself as well. Giniffer has convinced me to step back into the ring. She is a great friend, she was there for me when everything went dark. Literally. But now I must step back into the ring, to prove to myself that I do have the ability to make things right. But even more so, I must fight to regain my worth back. To regain my life back. And to do that, I must go through... I must face... the man who took that life, that worth away. That man is not the Outlaw. He did not close the casket. No, the man I must regain my worth, my life from, goes by one name: Cadaver. I want my life back. Cadaver, the game is now life and death. One war will be solved tommorow. My inner war is just beginning. Cadaver, you are the essence of death. But do you understand the essence of life? I want my life, my self-worth back. If that means facing you... Then that's what I must do. [Dan looks back at Tim Dross, who can say no more but...] TD: I think that says it all. [As the camera fades, Dan Kauffman can be seen, wiping a single tear from his left eye. Dross nods at Kauffman, and Ginny Drury comes down to console Kauffman as the camera finally blackens out.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers +------------------------------------+---------------------------+ URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ President: Daniel Spreadbury +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+