[Fade up on a cloudy sky, pregnant with the deep grey hues of approaching storms. The clouds chase each other across the sky, as if anxious and expectant. In the distance, dim flashes of lightning pick out the contours of the furthest clouds. Voice over:] VO: The forces of nature... wild... unpredictable... powerful... unstoppable... The silent forboding that precedes the storm has come to an end. The inexorable path towards the ultimate clash of light and darkness has been trod by many restless feet, drawing into battle those who obey the call to arms. The sides are chosen, the lines are drawn... the second coming is here! [Forks of lightning shoot out from the clouds as the roar of thunder seems to shake the earth. The brilliant illumination subsides as suddenly as it arrives, and the clouds are suddenly picked out from below by the beams of searchlights. The shot pans down these swinging beams, coming to rest on an aerial view of the Hoosier Dome.] VO: Tonight, the battlefield will be the wrestling ring. The warriors will be the finest athletes in the world today. Let the wars begin! [The opening graphics explode onto the screen:] .------------------------------------------------------------------. | From the revolutionary force in e-wrestling entertainment! | `------------------------------------------------------------------' ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### ## ###### # # # # # # #### # # ##### # ## # # ###### ###### # # # ## # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #### # # # # # # # # #### ###### # # ## # # ## ## ####### ###### # # ## #### # # ###### # # # # # # ###### ########### ############### ##### ##### #### ##### .---------------------------------- ##### --------------------------. | LiVE + Saturday 12 October 1996 ##### Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis | `------------------------------ ##### ------------------------------' ##### ###### ################# ################# [The opening graphics zoom into the corner of the screen, revealing interior shots of the packed Hoosier Dome. Fireworks explode high above the capacity crowd, and the cheering from the fans is almost deafening. Pan down past the pyrotechnics to the ringside enclosure and the broadcast table, at which stand Tim Dross, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, and Becky LaRue.] TD: Welcome everybody to the jam-packed Hoosier Dome here in Indianapolis, Indiana! Welcome everybody to IIWF Ring Wars II! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, are my two esteemed broadcast colleagues, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts and the wonderful Becky LaRue. This crowd is really in the mood for some tremendous action here tonight, and we're going to give it to them! We've got seven incredible matches coming your way, including the IIWF's first ever double main event! SR: And it's been an eventful week here in the IIWF, Dross. Both of the headline matches have been changed in the last twenty-four hours due to the injury of the man who was surely going to become a two-time IIWF World Heavyweight Champion here tonight, the Outlaw J.W. Hardin. TD: That's right, folks. It was just this past Wednesday in the McNichols Arena, Denver, Colorado, that we saw the tremendous Battle Lines Battle Royal -- what a match it was. The Outlaw J.W. Hardin was at ringside providing colour commentary, but of course, he couldn't resist getting himself involved in the action. [Footage rolls of Hardin knocking the Psycho from the top turnbuckle, and executing the Cattle Buster DDT on Chris Quigley.] Hardin caused the Subway Psycho to be eliminated from the battle royal, and attacked Chris Quigley, essentially handing victory to Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. However, things took an amazing turn when Tiger Claw and Hardin ganged up on Don Antonio. [Footage rolls.] Hardin held the Don, while Claw took a swing at his nemesis with his baseball bat. The Don dodged out of the way, and Claw hit Hardin, apparently by accident, breaking his arm. Then, moments later, Claw _deliberately_ struck Hardin a second time with the baseball bat, compounding the damage. [Footage rolls of Claw hitting Hardin a second time with the baseball bat, and Hardin slumping to the mat in agony.] Hardin, in tremendous pain, was attacked by the "forces of light", and the injuries sustained were so severe that late Wednesday night, he was declared unfit to wrestle in tonight's Casket Match, leaving all manner of questions unanswered: was the much-touted alliance between Hardin, Josey Wales, The Senator, and Brian Lau on the verge of collapse? Who would face Deathbringer in the Casket Match tonight here at Ring Wars II? Why did Tiger Claw turn on his ally? IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury was faced with an extremely tough call, and he issued the following statement live on last night's Road to Ring Wars II special report: [Cut to footage of President Dan speaking with Tim Dross.] [Cut back to the broadcast team at the ringside table.] TD: So there you have it, folks. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, as number one contender for the World title, will face Deathbringer in the Casket Match tonight. What a tremendous battle that's going to be. We'll be talking about that a whole lot over the course of tonight, but it's not the only big news we've got for you here, folks. SR: That irritating puke Dan Kauffman also returned last night after ten days in that wilderness of a hometown he calls Hagerstown, Maryland. "Hell's Abyss" is right, Dross. TD: Kauffman gave a very emotional interview yesterday from his home in Maryland, and he's here tonight in the Hoosier Dome to lead his team into battle in the other half of tonight's double main event, the Wargames match. What an incredible match that's going to be -- two rings inside a steel cage, seven men on each team entering the cage at intervals of two minutes, continuing until only one team is left standing. It's going to be brutal, folks. BL: There's more action coming our way tonight than you see in your bedroom in a year, Timmy. In a three-way tag team elimination match, IIWF Tag champs the Armed Forces must face Stunt Team USA and the High Plains Drifters at the same time... and if they get counted out or disqualified, they lose the titles! TD: And the fate of the Intercontinental Championship also hangs in the balance tonight, as Tiger Claw defends his title against Don Antonio in one of the most dangerous matches ever devised: the Steel Cage Baseball Bat match. Whoever gets to the bat can use it, so you can expect some hard-hitting action. In a stipulation added by the Don in an effort to keep outside interference at bay, the cage will be locked, and the only key to the lock will be held by the IIWF President, who will be at ringside for the match. SR: The "Enema"... TD: [interrupting] That's the "Enigma", Steve. SR: Whatever. Trapezoid Mishymashy... TD: [interrupting] Takezo Musashi, Steve. SR: Whatever. That Oriental no-hoper, who cares what his name is? His career's going to be over after Hakiro Matsuoko knocks him twenty feet off a log to the floor. TD: That Log Scaffold Match to settle an old dishonour is going to be an extraordinary encounter, that's for sure. We'll also be seeing a Lumberjack Noose Match between Fisto Flash and the Hangman later on tonight, plus Marty Warnett and "Showstopper" Simon Lebec will meet in a special match, the loser of which must have his head shaven by the winner! All that incredible action coming up here tonight, live from the Hoosier Dome. Let's get straight up to the ring for tonight's first match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TEXAS BULLROPE STEEL CAGE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Pain Inc. vs. The Zodiac Connection ----------------------------------- [Cut to the ring, which is enclosed in a fifteen foot steel cage.] TD: This one's going to be an all-out brutal fight. SR: Okay, so it's like a strap match, right? The winner has to take his opponent to all four turnbuckles and touch them, right? TD: No. The winner has to _throw_ his opponent into the corners to win. BL: Even better. I can only see pain in the stars for the Zodiac Connection. Pain Inc. specializes in brutal events like this. TD: What about that curse laid on them by the Grand Vizier? BL: Are you kidding me? Larry believes in stuff like that. Not me. SR: But Larry also believes that there was a clown on the grassy knoll... TD: I just want to say that I never want to get stuck with him in the hotel again... Oh, here comes Sparkplug Lee... SR: Little pervert... [Lee seems to be just finishing up an argument with Lisa at ringside when his microphone is turned on.] RA: But it _wasn't_ another woman! It was Randy Acorn! Oh... Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is a special tag team Texas Bullrope Cage Match! The winner is the man who can throw his opponent into all four corners of the ring. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Doctor Insane, at a combined weight of 575lbs, here are Taurus and Scorpio, The Zodiac Connection! [Zodiac Connection's ring music plays, and the team comes down the aisle with their manager. Taurus makes charging motions with the horns on his bull mask, and the team gets to the ring. The official opens the cage door for them, Taurus takes off the bull mask, and they enter the ring.] TD: Any time I see that there's a cage involved in a match, I cringe. SR: Jeez, Dross, you're such a pansy. BL: I bet he's going to cry during some of the matches later tonight. RA: Their opponents, being led to the ring by Mr. Mic, hailing from Jakarta, Indonesia, at a combined weight of 585lbs, here are Morningstar and Hellraiser: Pain Incorporated!! [The lights go out, and "More Human Than Human" begins to play. Pain Inc. and Mr. Mic come out to the head of the aisle to a large heel pop. Mr. Mic is holding both bullropes high in the air. Morningstar and Hellraiser ignore the fans and make a beeline for the cage door. The official opens the door, Pain Inc. enters, and Mr. Mic throws the bullropes in. The cage door is then closed and locked.] SR: Oh, man. Pain Inc. is going to kill these Zodiac guys. TD: Don't count the Zodiac Connection out, Steve. They've got some real talent in that ring. [The official in the ring gets the wrestlers to tie the ends of the bullrope to one wrist. Scorpio is tied to Morningstar, and Taurus is tied to Hellraiser. Once the ropes are tied, Pain Inc. goes to work on the Zodiac Connection. Hellraiser begins with a series of forearm shots to Taurus' head, the wraps the bullrope around Taurus' face. He pulls the rope back and forth over Taurus' eyes, bringing forth a cry of pain from the big bull. Morningstar executes a reverse thrust kick to Scorpio's chin, knocking him down. MS follows up by throwing Scorpio in the corner, then trying to whip him into another corner with the rope. Scorpio clotheslines MS before reaching the corner, and Taurus uses the rope to pull HR down in front of him, taking the pressure off his face. Taurus begins to punch furiously, then drags HR up for a powerbomb. Bam... big pop. Scorpio executes a belly-to-back suplex that sends MS careering into the cage. Another pop. The pop turns to boos as The Grand Vizier comes down the aisle.] SR: What's he going to do? Both teams are in a cage. BL: Maybe he's got another team coming into his stable. TD: Maybe he just wants to go after Mr. Mic. [MS falls to the mat after hitting the cage. Scorpio goes to capitalize on the opportunity, but gets a thumb to the throat. Scorpio falls back, clutching his throat, and MS works his way to his feet. HR is dragged to his feet, and Taurus sizes him up for a football tackle. Taurus stomps one foot, quite bull-like, and charges. HR dodges out of the way, allowing Taurus to slam into the turnbuckles. The Grand Vizier watches the action intently, and rummages into his robes for something. MS springs off the second rope and lands an elbow on the prone Scorpio, then wraps Scorpio's throat up in the rope. HR, at the same time, wraps Taurus' arms up in the rope, pulls him out of the corner, and pushes him back in. The ref counts that as the first hit. Scorpio is kept at bay by the rope-choke from MS as HR puts Taurus into a side headlock and rams him into the second corner. The ref holds up 2 fingers. Taurus is thrown into the third corner, and the ref holds up 3 fingers. The Grand Vizier pulls something out of his robe, which immediately bursts into a fireball. Mr. Mic faints on the outside.] SR: What the hell was that? TD: I don't know. Mr. Mic just went out like a light... BL: You don't think.... TD,SR,BL: [in unison] Nahhh... [HR goes to whip Taurus into the fourth corner, but somehow manages to whip the big man into himself. HR goes down, and the ref signals that the count is reset. MS sees what happens to his partner, and loosens the choke on Scorpio. He runs to lend a hand to HR, but trips on the rope attached to his own wrist. Scorpio is unable to capitalize, however, due to the choke hold. Instead, Scorpio just rolls onto MS's feet, keeping MS from moving away. Taurus picks up HR and executes a hard tombstone piledriver, which gets a huge pop from the crowd. Suddenly, Scorpio seems to jump up with renewed energy, and drags MS to his feet. Scorpio executes a frankensteiner on MS, sending the bigger man down. Taurus grabs a hold of the rope attaching him and HR together, and begins swinging HR around. HR runs in circles thanks to his own momentum, and Taurus guides him into a corner. The ref counts 1. HR bounces out of the corner, and tries a jumping tackle, but Taurus executes a fallaway slam, sending HR into another corner. The ref counts 2. Scorpio whips MS into the ropes, and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the rebound. Big pop. Taurus whips HR into the ropes, and guides him into the third corner with the rope. The ref counts 3. HR rebounds out of the corner, holding the ropes for support. His legs give out, but he tries to keep his balance, which causes him to run toward the fourth corner. Taurus gives him a push, and he hits the turnbuckles. The ref calls for the bell. Big pop. The Zodiac Connection cease their beatings on Pain Inc, and begin to celebrate. MS and HR slumps where they are left, looking like they took way more punishment than they actually have.] TD: This is really weird. They look like they just went through an iron man match for 2 hours. SR: Maybe they were up too late last night, maybe they didn't eat right today... Who knows? BL: Or maybe... TD,SR,BL: [in unison] Nahhhh... [The Grand Vizier smiles and nods, then leaves the riingside area. Mr. Mic is still unconscious on the floor as the Zodiac Connection meet with their manager on the outside and walk up the aisle triumphantly. MS and HR seem to be trying to get up, but it appears that their own weight is too much for them to endure. They both just slump in the corners.] TD: It looks as though Morningstar and Hellraiser are going to need some help out of that ring. I wonder what happened. SR: Maybe they partied with Man of Steel last night... I hear that he had a multi-kegger in his room and a buffet of pills. TD: Classy, Steve. Really classy. BL: You know... I'm no expert, but it looks as if those two were drained part way through the match... Do you think it could be... TD,SR,BL: [in unison] Nahhh. [Suddenly, Pain Inc. seem to find their feet once more, and they walk back up the aisle, picking up their groggy manager as they go. They are jeered by the crowd, and look very confused. The crowd settles down once more, but a few moments later begins to buzz again.] BL: Hey, wait a second. Are we scheduled for a match right now? TD: Ladies and gentlemen, someone... no, two people are coming down to ringside... [The lights dim, and the PA system launches into the theme from "Bladerunner" -- which is instantly met by a huge crowd pop!] TD: [shouting] Surely not! It is! It's Rising Sun Revolution! They're back! SR: What the hell are those two bozos doing here? Did they run out of raw fish or something? [Hiroshi and Ryudo, both wearing heavy black leather jackets and jeans, run down to ringside and jump onto the raised interview platform beside the ring. Ryudo holds his arms in the air to a massive crowd pop. Hiroshi runs to the edge of the platform, throwing his fist in the air, and yells at the crowd, who yell back. The noise is deafening. Ryudo calls the ring announcer over and asks for the mic.] Ryudo: [on the mic] Tim, could you come up here a minute? SR: Oh great, they want to talk. We could be here all night. [Tim Dross walks up and joins them on the platform. Hiroshi greets him with an enthusiastic handshake. Ryudo hands him the mic.] TD: Ryudo, Hiroshi, this is very unexpected...what am I saying? Welcome back, guys! [Big pop!] Ryudo: [grinning] Thanks, Tim. Now I know you've got a lot of questions you want to ask, so I'll try to clear things up for you a bit. For the last few months, we have been wrestling in a tournament in our homeland, where we have been earned over $500,000 for charity. You see, we had suffered from a small problem with our work permits, thanks to a mistake by our lawyer, and had to re-apply. But we've been keeping a close eye on events, and I must say we were very, very touched when we saw our nominations in the Golden Grapple awards. Most Missed? Thanks for your support, everyone! [Pop!] SR: Awwwww, how touching. I think I'm going to throw up. BL: Hurl on my dress, and you'll regret it, mister. [Both men raise their hands in the air again, to another huge crowd pop.] Ryudo: But that's not the only reason why we've come back... TD: No? Ryudo: We've been keeping a real close eye on the tag team scene here in the IIWF, and we've noticed a lot of competition for the top prize. Especially how the action has hotted up to such an extent that there is a three-way elimination match here tonight. [An expectant buzz passes through the crowd.] The Armed Forces have the belts. High Plains Drifters have their own belts, but you know, Tim, we think that the Stunt Team USA have a better claim to the belts than either of those two, and they've been stabbed in the back by both of them in the past. TD: Well, I suppose you yourselves have a claim as well, since you never actually lost the titles you won at the first Ring Wars, back at the end of June. [The crowd start chanting "R - S - R!". The atmosphere is electric.] Ryudo: Now you know Tim, it's real funny you should say that... [Ryudo grins, and he and Hiroshi take of their leather jackets, to reveal... the IIWF Tag Team Championship belts! Both men raise their belts into the air, and the crowd goes wild! Ryudu waits for the pop to die down, as the shot pans around the capacity crowd.] Ryudo: You know Tim, I myself can see only one way to resolve this matter... TD: You want in? Ryudo: [to the crowd] Well, how about it? Do you want to see the Revolution in action? [Massive crowd pop!] Here? [The crowd pops even louder!] TONIGHT? SR: No way! Someone get these guys outta here! They're not even supposed to be here!! [Ryudo and Hiroshi turn to the crowd again, holding the belts in the air. The crowd is in a frenzy. Both men lower the belts and turn back to face the aisle as they see the IIWF President walking down to ringside. The crowd falls into a tense silence. Both Ryudo and Hiroshi step back into the far corner and look on as President Dan enters the ring.] TD: Well, Mr. President, how about it? The Revolution in the elimination tag match tonight... This sitution needs clearing up. DS: Tim, this is a very, very unusual situation. [The crowd start getting restless. The "R - S - R!" chants start up again. The President waits for the noise to die down.] DS: While it is true that the tag team known as Rising Sun Revolution did not lose their championship belts, rather choosing to forfeit the titles in order to compete in a tournament in Japan, they are not, I repeat _NOT_ scheduled to wrestle here tonight. [The crowd start booing, and the "R - S - R!" chants reach a new crescendo. Hiroshi claps and eggs them on. Ryudo just looks at the President.] SR: You tell 'em, Prez. Sir. [Once again the President waits for the noise to die down.] DS: However... [The crowd start cheering again. The President holds up his hand for quiet.] DS: However, this situation needs to be resolved once and for all. We _WILL_ have undisputed Tag Team Champions here tonight. Rising Sun Revolution _WILL_ wrestle in the Tag Team Elimination right here at Ring Wars II! SR: No, no, no, NOOOOO!!! [The noise from the crowd is deafening. Ryudo and Hiroshi hi-five each other, and the theme from "Bladerunner" starts up again. Hiroshi and Ryudo raise their belts again to a deafening crowd pop, as Tim Dross and the IIWF President both leave the ring. Dross shakes President Dan's hand, and the honcho makes his way back up the aisle, shaking hands with the fans. Dross rejoins his colleagues at the broadcast booth.] TD: How about that, folks! The Demon and the Dragon back in the IIWF... and in a _four-way_ Tag Team Championship elimination match tonight! Just listen to these people! SR: [frantic] This is the biggest rip-off of all time! They can't do this! They're not even supposed to be here tonight! Someone get them outta here! Give me a glass of water, I'm losing my voice! TD: Here you are, Steve. I've never seen a reception like that in my career. The uncrowned champions haven't lost any of their popularity in their three month hiatus. Whether or not they've kept their edge in the ring remains to be seen, but I can't wait for that tremendous match! SR: [weakly] I think I'm getting a headache... [Ryudu and Hiroshi make their way up the aisle, slapping hands with the fans as they go.] TD: Well, folks, let's get straight back to the action! Up next is that huge Lumberjack Rules Noose Match between the Hangman and Fisto Flash. The bad blood between these two goes back to a brutal match they fought on IIWF Saturday Night back on 23 August. [Footage rolls] Both men took it to each other with everything they had, but there was no decisive victor. From that moment on, wherever either of these men went, the other wasn't far behind, interfering in matches or simply attacking, unprovoked. Things came to a head four weeks ago when Fisto and the Hangman clashed inside a Razor Wire Steel Cage in an effort to settle their differences. [Footage rolls] It was a bloody and brutal battle, and it soon became clear that the Hangman wasn't prepared to let things end there in the cage. With the help of the High Plains Drifters, who trapped Fisto's stablemates, Heavy Metal, back in the locker room area, the Atomic Destroyers and the Hangman waylaid the exhausted Fisto and stole his prosthetic fist! [Scenes of the Hangman raising his trophy] This only made Fisto all the more determined to get his revenge, and the feud escalated, with Heavy Metal and the Atomic Destroyers joining in on the action. Last Saturday Night, as Fisto Flash wrestled one of the Senate's allies, Mr. Damage, the Hangman came down to ringside with a bag apparently containing Fisto's original prosthesis. Fisto siezed the bag, and released a mist of corrosive acid, which damaged his new prosthesis, and gave him secondary burns on his right forearm. Just when it seemed things couldn't get any worse for Fisto, the Hangman has apparently reached an agreement with a mystery individual for the sale of Fisto's original prosthesis. Just who this man is we don't yet know. SR: A cool one million dollars for a steel fist. Whoever it was who bought that doorstop must have wanted it real bad. BL: Of course, _I_ know who the mystery man is. TD: You do? Who is it? BL: Not telling. TD: Come on, Becky. BL: Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LUMBERJACK RULES NOOSE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Hangman vs. Fisto Flash (w/Atomic Destroyers) (w/Heavy Metal) ------------------------------------------- TD: This next match is another of the reasons we call this Ring Wars. BL: Really. I thought they called it that because they had a bunch of t-shirts left over from last June. TD: You _know_ that isn't right. BL: I was in the middle of a ring war once. I didn't marry either guy. [Sparkplug Lee peers intently into his hand trying to decipher what's written there.] RA: This next match is a Noosejack Lumber Match. Er, a Lumbernoose Jack Match. Rather, ah, a Lumberjack Noose Match! [There is wild support for Sparkplug. He blushes.] SR: Is it too late to return that guy for a refund? RA: Coming to the ring... from Brooklyn, New York... Standing 6'6" and weighing 305 pounds: Fisto Flash! ["Eye of the Tiger" pumps from the sound system. Fisto Flash enters with Robo Stone. There is a respectable pop and some supportive waving of Official IIWF Fist Pads. Flash enters the ring, Fist held high.] RA: His Lumberjacks: Heavy Metal! [Atlas and Apollo Steele come to the ring with Robo Stone.] RA: His opponant at 6'10", 322 punds...from Larado, Texas... The Haaaaaangman! His Lumberjacks...The Atomic Destroyers! [The Senator leads his men in. There is a huge heel pop. Miniature nooses are swung by crowd members. Hangman grabs one. He holds it as a cruel grin crosses his face. He points at Fisto Flash in the ring.] BL: So, just by way of curiousity, is Hangman single? TD: Does that actually matter to you? [The referee comes to the ring. He holds up the noose dramatically foe inspection. The crowd explodes with excitement.] TD: Just to recap. This match is much like a strap match, except the winner has to drag his opponant into each corner by a noose around his neck. The Lumberjacks are there just for fun. SR: Hey, that's what Becky usually says. BL: Roberts, you're going to sound pretty silly announcing in soprano. SR: "Oh I'm a Lumberjack and I'm okay, I work all night and I sleep all day..." TD: Let's go to the ring. SR: "...I wish I were a girly, just like my dear pappa!" BL: That's evident Steve. [The official drapes the noose over a neutral corner. The Lumberjacks each take a side of the ring. The bell rings for the match. Hangman immediately goes for his signature prop, but is intercepted by Fisto Flash who lands a double axehandle blow to the back of the head. Hangman staggers and catches a high knee from Fisto. Hangman retaliates with a hiptoss, then hesitates to clear his head. Fisto immediately drives him into the corner with a shoulder. Fisto Flash pulls the noose from the post.] SR: He's got the noose! This is great! We should have a match like this every week! [Flash tries to put the rope around the neck, but instead opens himself to a double arm suplex from the Hangman. Fisto Flash hits hard and the noose flies accross the ring.] SR: Ah, shoot. TD: Settle down Steve, I'm sure you'll see someone tied up before the night is over. BL: Don't look at me! [Hangman stomps down with his boots. Fist Flash tries to roll away but is rudely pushed back in the ring by Steroid of the Destroyers. Hangman throws Fisto to the ropes. Fisto ducks on the return but Hangman catches him with a flying lariet on the return. Fisto Flash drops again. He drags Fisto to his feet and sends him for the ride into the corner. Hangman follows with another flying lariet, but Fisto Flash ducks and Hangman slams into the post.] BL: That has got to hurt. TD: It's the way of the ring. SR: "The way of the ring"? What kind of cream-filled sissy journalism is that? TD: Hyperbole. SR: Huh? [Fisto Flash grabs up the noose. Instead of looping the neck, he cinches Hangman's hand. He lashes the other end to the ring post. Hangman tries to undo the knot, but Flash hammers down on him with fists and forearms. Hangman slumps in the corner. Fisto drives a knee then backs across the ring. He takes aim at the immobile Hangman. He starts to run, but Larn reaches through the ropes and trips him up. Flash slams hard on his face. This is all the excuse Atlas Steele needs to attack Larn. Apollo leaps into the ring, crosses it, and dives to the outside to join in the attack. Steroid frees Hangman before joining the fray. The referee attempts to separate the feuding lumberjacks. Behind his back, Hangman begins to bullwhip Fisto Flash with the noose while the Senator holds his feet.] TD: While the official gets this under control, I'd like to welcome little Ricky Roberts. BL: Who?! Don't tell me they hired another new person. TD: No, no. Ricky won the Great IIWF Ring Wars II ticket give away. Say "Hi", Ricky. RR: Hi. TD: How old are you, Ricky? RR: Twelve. TD: And where are you from? RR: Tulsa, Oklahoma. BL: Say, this kid is good. They should hire him to replace Larry. TD: Anything you'd like to add, Ricky? RR: Thanks, Uncle Steve. [Hangman has the noose on Fisto Flash's neck, and he begins to choke him with it. The lumberjacks settle down and the Ref. forces Hangman to stop the choke. Begrudgingly, Hangman slams Fisto into one corner. He drags him to the next. Fisto Flash puts up to a fight, Hangman whips him into the swecond corner with such force that Fisto Flash rolls up and over the top rope onto the floor. The Destroyers go to return him to the ring, but again are met by Heavy Metal.] BL: Uncle Steve? SR: Er, I don't know what the stupid kid is talking about. TD: Didn't you once say you have family in Tulsa? SR: A lot of people do. Are you accusing me of rigging the give away so my nephew would win the tickets? TD: Frankly, yes. Yes we are. SR: Hey look, there's wrestling going on, or something. [There is a disturbance in the back, and Ring Warrior II steps through the arch. He unleashes two fireballs to the gasping awe of the crowd. The combatants stop and watch him walk to ringside.] TD: I can't shake this feeling that I've seen this guy before. BL: Oh my gosh, it's Louie the Ninja in disguise! [Ring Warrior II grabs Fisto Flash where he lies on the floor and rudely throws hinm ionto the ring. He tosses Hangman the noose. The Destroyers get into the Warriors face. He says something that can't be heard and they step back. Ring Warrior goes to the Senator's side. The Senator eyes him suspiciously.] TD: I don't know what to say. This new man seems to be accepted by the Senate. Whatever he said made the Destroyers back off. BL: Maybe he said, "Thanks Uncle Senator." [In the ring, Fisto Flash has the upper hand. He throws Hangman to the ropes then catches him up with a towering high backdrop. Hangman retaliates with a hip toss and a series of suplexes. Hangman gets on a headlock, but the noose is out of reach. He signals for the Senator to grab it. The Senator reaches into the ring, but Robo Stone pulls him out. Ring Warrior II pulls Robo Stone away. Fisto throws Hangman off against the ropes and delivers a boot which rocks his opponent. He gets the noose and goes for the neck, but Hangman trips him up. The two roll across the ring. They almost roll out, but are pushed back in by Heavy Metal. Fisto Flash finally loops the rope around his opponent's neck.] TD: Is Hangman weakened enough for Fisto Flash to tag the corners? [Flash slams Hangman into the first buckle. He starts dragging him to the second. Hangman hip tosses him, but Fisto hangs on to the noose's end. Hangman snapmares himself into the second turnbuckle. The Atomic Destroyers attempt to enter the ring but are neatly intercepted by Heavy Metal. Fisto goes for the next post.] TD: There... he's going for three! BL: Tim can count! Well, to three, anyway. [Hangman puts up some resistance, getting a half nelson on Fisto Flash. He kicks out Fisto's knee, and attempts an armdrag. The brawl continues outside with Ring Warrior, Robo Stone and even the Senator getting into the melee. Senator unleashes a fireball but his arm is jostled and it sails harmlessly into the rafters. Fisto Falsh staggers back to his feet and bulldogs Hangman into the third corner. Hangman hooks his foot through the ropes. Flash tries to haul him away but can't. Hangman fires away with fists to the mid section.] SR: What is that! [All heads turn as a new figure enters ring side. Dressed all in crimson, he wears an elaborately designed mask, a flowing cape, and ribbed body armour in a skeletal design.] TD: Recognize this guy too, Dross? TD: No, no. I can honestly say that I've never seen anything like him. SR: I..I..have! But I haven't taken those pain killers for years! BL: What's with the get-up? Hallowe'en is still two weeks away. TD: Perhaps it's Crimson Storm in a new outfit? [Hangman tosses Fisto away. In a dazzingly fluid motion, the red bedecked wrestler leaps to the ring apron, vaults to a standing position on the top rope, springboards, catching Fisto Flash in a flying frankensteiner which catapults him over the rope and out of the ring. The crowd is awestruck, silent.] TD: That was simply amazing. I don't know what to say. SR: That's a first. TD: I don't know if there is another star in this federation that could execute a move like that. BL: Brad could. But not in the ring. SR: I'm sure Quigley could tell you a story about how he defeated some unknown jobber in an another fed with a similar maneuver. [The official sees the interference and signals for the bell. He holds Hangman's hand up in victory. Hangman pulls his hand from the official's grasp. He grabs the noose and makes for Fisto Flash outside. The official demands he surrender the rope. The crimson attacker stands over the groaning Fisto Flash. He points an accusatory finger and says something in a harsh tone. Larn offers up a high five but the interloper spurns him. He blows out a blast of red smoke which excites the crowd. When the mist clears, he is gone.] BL: Now _there_ is a major case of bad breath. TD: I think this man could cause a lot of distraction in the IIWF. SR: But not half as much as your toupee. [Security arrives to make sure that the two teams leave peacefully. Both exit shouting insults, neither pleased with the outcome. A "Hang This!" sign is shoved in Hangman's face and he shreds it. The fan disappears into the crowd before he is literally forced to eat his words.] TD: Let's go backstage to Larry Morton, who I believe is with "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. Larry? [Cut to backstage. Larry stands in a corridor outside a closed door with "Quigley" printed on it. He is holding several scraps of paper.] LM: I'm here, Tim. I heard just a little while ago about a package which had been delivered to Chris Quigley earlier tonight, and I came back here to investigate. All I can say is that I came across a very irate Quigley, who refused to let the camera crew into his locker room. He was throwing furniture around in there, making the most dreadful racket. SR: What upset the moron so much? Did his mom send him the wrong coloured underpants or something? LM: No, Steve. The package contained a hardback edition of Webster's dictionary, and it was accompanied by this note, which Quigley has torn up in his rage, but I'll attempt to give you the general gist. The note reads: "Dear Chris, I know that you're a little slow, so I'll try to 'dumb down' a little bit in order for you to understand. I'll try not to use big words, so as not to confuse you. Having ventured to your homeland up in the Arctic, I know the need for resourses (I'm not talking seal meat and fish now. Stay with me here, buddy!) "Please accept this dictionary as a gift from yours truly and take it back to the Eskimos in Newfoundland. You'll be considered a hero since you're one of those educated, book-learnin' types. Of course, you'll have to teach them all how to read first. Hey! I'm not a miracle worker here, but I've given you a start anyway. No thanks are necessary. In fact, I can write this off as a charity expense on my next tax return, so I guess we both win. Sincerely, Simon Lebec." BL: I love it! What a warm-hearted, giving individual Lebec is. You've got to admire that in a guy. TD: I don't think Chris Quigley appreciates Lebec's charity, Becky. LM: Emphatically not, Tim. There's still a tremendous commotion going on in here. I'll try to get comments from Chris Quigley in a few moments, but for now, back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Well, Lebec sure knows how to push Quigley's buttons. You've got to wonder what frame of mind Quigley will be in, come the Wargames match later on tonight. SR: State of mind? That rather implies that Quigley actually _has_ a mind, which I very much doubt. I'm amazed that Quigley can string together sentences as well as he does, given that he comes from a corner of civilisation still stuck in the jurassic era. BL: I bet they don't even have cable up there. SR: Or TV dinners. TD: Okay, you two, that's enough. It's time to get back to the action. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= HAIR vs. HAIR MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. Marty Warnett ------------------------------------------- TD: Marty Warnett and Simon Lebec have had more than their share of skirmishes lately [footage rolls of Lebec's attacks on Warnett, followed by Warnett's appearance with the doctored photo of a bald Lebec at Saturday Night.] but it should all be resolved here tonight. BL: In a "Hair versus Hair" match? Please, Timmy, you're the only one who would have nothing to lose in a match like this. SR: What are you talking about, Becky? Dross paid a lot of money for that rug of his. BL: And he probably put it on his expense account -- just like that dinner in New Orleans with that little bit.... TD: THAT will be enough of that! And you'll be interested to know, Becky, that the Lady DeWinter paid for that dinner! It DID NOT come from IIWF funds! BL: Jeez. You cheapskate! TD: There's no winning with you. Let's go up to the ring for our introductions. [The spotlight falls on Sparkplug Lee in the ring as he attempts to do the Macarena with several fans at ringside.] RA: Heeeyyyyy, Macar.... Uh, ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, this special "Hair versus Hair" match is one fall. Introducing first, from Cardiff, Wales in the United Kingdom and weighing in at 245 pounds, he is the teen heartthrob of the IIWF, [teenage girls begin squealing "Martyyyyyy!] he is.... Marrrrrrty Warnett! ["Cold Gin" by Kiss begins to play as Marty strolls into the arena. He stops in front of a group of screaming young girls and flips back his long locks. Two of the girls pass out as Marty continues to the ring.] BL: I wonder if those little tarts will be that excited when Walnut is shaved bald here tonight. TD: Well, Simon Lebec has to WIN this match for that to happen. Personally, I have my doubts that he can win a fair fight. SR: Who said it has to be fair? [Cut back to Sparkplug Lee.] RA: And his opponent, from Hollywood, California, weighing in at 239 pounds and accompanied to the ring by Francois and Miss Crystal, he is the man they call "Showstopper," he is... Simonnnnnnn Lebec! [Big heel pop as Francois leads Simon Lebec and Miss Crystal down the aisle. Lebec holds a giant pair of scissors and clips them at Warnett on the way to the ring. All three ignore the fans who taunt them. Lebec enters the ring with the huge pair of scissors, then walks across the ring and clips them in Warnett's face before turning and laughing.] TD: That's just like Simon Lebec to taunt Warnett before this match. He even... hey! [Dross is cut short as Warnett charges Lebec and plants a knee in his back. Lebec goes down and the giant scissors fly from the ring with a clatter. Miss Crystal goes over to retrieve them as the referee calls for the opening bell: Ding! Ding! Warnett stays on the offensive, hitting Lebec with two drop kicks. He hits a big belly-to-belly superplex and goes for the quick cover: 1 - 2 - kickout! Lebec slides from the ring and strays over to Francois, whom the fans at ringside are calling "egghead" and "cue ball."] TD: Warnett didn't take Lebec's taunting well, and he almost ended this match very quickly. SR: Yeah, you could say that was a... close shave. BL: Heeheehee... snort. [Francois yells back insults in French at the fans at ringside, which only draws more fans into the shouting match. Frustrated, Lebec jumps back to the ring apron only to be met by a forearm smash from Lebec. Warnett then suplexes Lebec back into the ring and follows up with a leg drop. He pulls Lebec to his feet but is met by a rake of the eyes that temporarily blinds Marty. Lebec hits Warnett with a European uppercut, then unleashes an offensive attack of his own. He punishes Warnett with a snap suplex and a piledriver. Cover: 1 - 2- kickout!] SR: Things are getting pretty hairy in there for Walnut now, huh, Dross? TD: Marty Warnett is a tough competitor. This match is far from over. [Lebec locks on an arm bar and holds it until Warnett is able to get to the ropes. Lebec whips Warnett into the ropes and lands a big backdrop on the return. He scoops Marty up and delivers a backbreaker, the covers Warnett: 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: That was arrogant of Lebec! He didn't even hook Warnett's leg on that cover. SR: He just about has the young punk out on his feet. BL: Looks like people will be calling Warnett "cue ball" now. [Lebec again whips Warnett into the ropes and goes for another backdrop, but he telegraphs the move and Marty turns it into a swinging neckbreaker. Both men go down and the referee begins the count: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7... Marty stirs and gets to his feet to break the count. As Lebec staggers to his feet, Warnett hits him with a clothesline and applies his figure four leglock. Big pop! But Lebec refuses to submit, and slowly pulls himself to the ropes. The referee forces Warnett to break the hold.] TD: Marty has come back in this match! He's definitely in control now. BL: Lebec is limping, but remember that wild animals are most dangerous when they're hurt. [Warnett clotheslines Lebec to the canvas again. As bends over to pull Lebec to his feet, the "Showstopper" grabs Warnett's hair and throws him through the ropes. Marty hits the floor hard. As the referee pushes Lebec back away from the ropes, Francois runs over and kicks Warnett in the ribs. Marty attempts to get up again, but Francois kicks him again.] TD: That's just like Simon Lebec -- needing help to keep Warnett out of the ring. SR: I'd call that payback for the little punk giving Francois a haircut last week. [The referee begins a count on Warnett, but Marty is able to roll under the bottom rope and back into the ring. Lebec lifts him and hits a powerbomb. Cover: 1 - 2- kickout! Lebec follows with a tombstone piledriver and another cover: 1 - 2 - kickout! Lebec again seems frustrated, but pulls Warnett to his feet and delivers a hard kick to the back of Marty's head. Warnett goes down quickly as Lebec becomes animated.] TD: Uh-oh, this could only mean one thing. SR: That's right, Dross. Lebec is going to slap on "The Antagonist" and then little Marty is going to get a haircut. HA! I love it! [Suddenly, there is a commotion at the top of the aisle, followed by a big pop. Chris Quigley tears down the aisle toward the ring, but is met by Francois. The two begin battling near the ring entrance and all eyes turn to the brawl. Even Lebec begins laughing in the ring.] BL: It looks like Simon Lebec was prepared for Quigley to interfere in this match. Francois is holding his own against that Canadian fool. SR: You'd think people would realize that Simon Lebec is too smart not to have a contingency plan. He was ready for... TD: Hold on, Steve! What's going on over there? [The camera pans to the opposite side of the ring, where "Painbringer" Billy Sexton is jumping over the ring guard. He carries what appears to be one of Lebec's awards.] TD: Great. Not only does Lebec have Marty hurt in the ring, but now Sexton is going to help him finish Warnett off. SR: I'm telling you, Dross, Lebec is a genius. [Lebec sees Sexton on the opposite side of the ring and motions for him to give him the award. But Sexton jumps to the ring apron and clubs Lebec with the award, then jumps down and disappears into the crowd as Lebec falls unconscious to the mat.] SR: What the hell?! TD: It makes sense now! Remember when Lebec interfered in Sexton's match with Warnett on Midweek Mayhem last month? Lebec hit "Painbringer" with that award and cost him a win. It looks like payback has come back to haunt Simon Lebec! [Quigley finally gains an advantage over Francois and knocks him out with a hard right hand. Warnett has begun to stir in the ring, although Miss Crystal jumps to the ring apron and prepares to clock him with the huge scissors. Quigley sees Miss Crystal and pulls her from the ring apron by her dress, which tears and gives the fans a good view of Crystal's underwear. She screams and runs up the aisle to the locker room, covering herself.] TD: Oh my goodness! BL: That's why momma always tells you to wear clean underwear, kids. SR: Wowee! I may have just gotten over Nurse Heidi! [Warnett, seeing Lebec unconscious in the ring, dives over and puts his arm across his opponent. The referee counts: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop!] RA: Here is your winner by pinfall... Martyyyyyy Warnett! [Quigley reaches the timekeeper's table and grabs a pair of electric trimmers which he tosses to Warnett. Marty catches them and begins sloppily cutting Lebec's hair as The Hoosier Dome erupts. Warnett carves several bald patches on Lebec's head and then trims the rest almost to the scalp. It is truly a bad job, but he doesn't seem to mind as he picks up a handful of Lebec's hair and tosses it into the crowd. He jumps down to celebrate with Quigley and they slap the fans' hands all the way to the locker room.] TD: This should be quite a cut at Simon Lebec's ego! BL: Was that a pun, Timmy? [Francois recovers and slowly revives Lebec, who sees the hair in the ring around him. He reaches for his scalp and goes ballistic, charging up the aisle as the fans laugh at him. Francois dutifully follows.] TD: That's a new look for Simon Lebec, fans! SR: Yeah, but hair grows back. Warnett and his buddies may not heal as quickly when Lebec gets his revenge. TD: Indeed. I have a feeling that Lebec will be looking for revenge from one "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley in the very near future. Okay, let's move on to our next match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- LOG SCAFFOLD MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi -------------------------------------------------------------- TD: This is going to be one of those matches to go into the history books, folks. A scaffold match, with a log suspended twenty feet above the ring. Hakiro Matsuoko and Takezo Musashi are going to face each other to settle old scores once and for all in this one. SR: Better believe it, Dross. The only way someone can be deemed the winner is if his opponent is thrown from the log to the ring below. We're talking about some serious career ending situations. BL: Actually, these little insects can take a real beating, I'll give them that. They're so light that they don't fall that fast. TD: Well, let's look at the background of this match. According to both men, they trained under a master of many martial arts in Japan. In fact, they almost became close as brothers until one day when the master had asked them to compete against each other. This is where the stories of Hakiro and Takezo differ. Hakiro claims that he beat Takezo fair and square, and Takezo cried to the master, saying that Hakiro cheated. Takezo, on the other hand, claims that Hakiro did indeed cheat, and that he was merely telling his master of the dishonour. Whichever side you wish to believe, the result was the same. Hakiro was banished, and Takezo went on to learn the Starsault Press. Let's take a look at this one... [Footage rolls of Takezo Musashi hitting the triple flip into a moonsault on several jobbers, and finally hitting the move on Otto Verhoeven with Chris Quigley holding Otto's legs down.] SR: You'll notice that the last clip there was a tag team effort... See, Musashi's finisher isn't all _that_ great... TD: Believe what you will, Steve, but Musashi has a pretty good record after hitting that move. Hakiro, in retaliation, unveiled the Butsumetsu Drop to display his skills as an aerial tactician. Let's see a clip of that. [Footage rolls of Hakiro hitting the 540 degree lateral spin splash on Ned Norton, and a few other wrestlers. the final clip is Hakiro hitting the move on Takezo Musashi with Brian Lau holding Musashi's legs down.] SR: See? Hakiro has already slammed Musashi with the Booty-fruity drop! TD: With Brian Lau holding his legs down... SR: It wouldn't have made any difference. Matsuoko had the Enema beat anyway. TD: Well, it's all come to this. Hakiro called it the "ancient way." Becky, what can you tell us about what we may see here? BL: A couple of small guys buzzing around... I don't think you'll see a lot of high risk stuff here, though, because even if you lose your footing, you can lose the match without ever being touched. I may not like the little guys, but this could be neat... I say Hakiro... Steve? Wanna bet? SR: Nope... There's no way I'm betting against the Syndicate... I believe Hakiro's story the whole way. TD: You know, Steve, I wouldn't trust a member of the Syndicate as far as I could throw them... SR: How about as far as one of them could throw you? Becky, pass me the phone. I want to call Casey James... TD: Alright, alright... Come on, let's get down to the ring. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a special scaffold match scheduled for.... Hehe... One _fall_. Introducing first, weighing in at 215 pounds and hailing from Tokyo, Japan. He is accompanied by Brian Lau. [Big heel pop] A member of the Sydicate, he is "The Angel of the Sun" Haaaakiiiiroooo Matsuuuooookoooo! [The thundering Kodo drum music of Hakiro's theme shakes the Hoosier Dome. The lights drop, and laser lighting draws out the shape of a winged man flying through the air. Hakiro and Brian appear at the head of the aisle, Hakiro wearing a traditional Samurai helmet and breastplate, Brian talking on a cellular phone. Rockets fire on all four ringposts as Hakiro reaches the ring and takes off his armor. He then takes his place on the log in the ring.] TD: Who does Brian Lau think he is? That Philadelphia guy? Paul something? SR: This is a big night for the Syndicate, Dross. Brian is making sure everything goes right. Good entrance for Matsuoko, though. BL: And he's a good wrestler for a small guy. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 211 pounds and also hailing from Tokyo, Japan, he is the "Enigma" Taaakeeeezoooo Muuusaaaaashiiii! [Musashi's music plays, and he walks out to the head of the aisle. Video footage of his more spectacular moments is run on the video wall. The crowd pops as fireworks go off in a pattern that follows him up the aisle. Takezo reaches the ring, flashes a sour look at Brian Lau, and then takes his place on the log opposite Hakiro.] TD: This is it... The log will now be hoisted into the air by the chain that can be seen at either end of it. Two referees outside the ring will keep an official eye on things, but as soon as that log is hoisted up above the ring, it's a fight for personal honour. BL and SR: [together] Then Hakiro should win. [The log is raised until it hands 20 feet above the ring. An Oriental sounding gong sounds, and the two men walk towards the center of the log. They stop about 10 feet from each other, and Takezo bows in respect. Hakiro simply nods his head. Takezo assumes a fighting stance, but Hakiro slams his foot down and lets out a piercing war cry. He then rushes towards Takezo and leaps into a flying kick, but it is side stepped by Takezo and swatted to the side. Hakiro lands nimbly on his feet and spins around with a roundhouse kick. Takezo blocks, and the two square off facing each other again. Hakiro jabs with a left, Takezo blocks with his right, Hakiro swings a right elbow, but Takezo blocks with his left palm. Takezo launches a knee that Hakiro cuts short with his toe, then retaliates by grabbing hold of Takezo's leg and throwing it upward. Takezo backflips and regains his footing. Both men stare icily at each other.] TD: My goodness! That action was almost too fast to call! SR: For a retard like you, Dross, maybe. BL: My Brad could kick both their asses... [Takezo rushes in, and Hakiro goes for a grab, but Takez slides between Hakiro's legs. Hakiro turns, and Takezo launches a full out assault on Hakiro, forcing him backwards. Takezo's left blocked by Hakiro's right, Takezo's right blocked by Hakiro's left, Takezo with a right leg push kick to Hakiro's midsection, followed up with a left leg snap kick that is blocked by Hakiro with both hands. Hakiro traps the leg, and sweeps the other leg out, sending Takezo down. Hakiro drives his fist down, but Takezo twists to get his head out of the way. Hakiro's fist hits the log, and a cracking sound is heard.] TD: Wait a minute... What was that? SR: Loose bark on the log or something... I can't see that log breaking. Look at the size of it! BL: What about those little guys that break bricks with their heads? SR: I think they're stupid. Next question? TD: There could be another factor in this match, then. It could be even harder for both men if that log breaks. [Hakiro swings his leg around and drops a leg on Takezo's face. Takezo's guard momentarily goes down, and Hakiro drags him up and Tiger bombs Takezo. The cracking sound is heard again, and some chips from the log fall to the ring. Hakiro seems oblivious, and he locks on an Octopus hold. Takezo shouts out in pain as Hakiro applies the pressure. Hakiro has a diabolic lookon his face that gets even more intense every time Takezo shouts out. The crowd begins to pop a bit as Shinja Chow walks down the aisle. Chow doesn't even look up to the match, but instead locks his gaze on Brian Lau. Brian, not yet aware of Chow's presence, strains to get a look at what is going on high above. Chow walks up to Lau, and taps his shoulder. Lau waves Chow away, and Chow spins Lau around violently. Lau looks pretty annoyed, and he sees that Chow is right in front of him. Lau backs off, holding his hands up, while Chow moves towards him, nodding. Lau quickly dials something into his cell phone and shouts frantically into the microphone part of the handset. Finally, Lau runs up the aisle with Chow following. On the log, Hakiro breaks the hold and slams Takezo onto the log.] SR: What's Chow's problem? How can Lau be held responsible for what his father did? TD: It's an ancient code, Steve. Besides, according to Chow, Lau helped to burn down his Dojo. SR: Come on, Dross, think about it. Would Brian Lau ever soil his hands in a job so menial? TD: There's a point... [Hakiro walks to the opposite side of the log, and initiates a few cartwheels, a flip, and comes down with both feet. Takezo moves out of the way, and Hakiro drives both heels into the log, which finally gives. Fortunately, one piece is larger than the other, and Takezo grabs a hold of the larger piece, and Hakiro grabs onto one of Takezo's legs. The large piece of log swings wildly back and forth with both men hanging on for dear life.] TD: Oh no! This is a volatile situation here! This wasn't supposed to happen! BL: But the winner will have something to talk about! [The crowd is in awe as both men weather the storm and keep hold of the log, and the log stops swinging. Takezo offers a hand to Hakiro, who seems to be having trouble holding on. Hakiro shouts "NO!" but continues to hold on to the leg. Takezo offers the hand again, and this time, Hakiro accepts. Takezo brings Hakiro up to the same level as he is, and Hakiro smiles. The crowd pops as they believe that the two have come to a reconciliation. Hakiro then begins to twist Takezo's fingers, and tries to kick him. Hakiro connects, and Takezo is forced off the log. Takezo falls, but amazingly grabs the bottom of the log. Hakiro laughs and shouts insults at Takezo, then begins to climb to the top of the log. Takezo flips up to get a grasp on the side of the log, and begins to climb on the opposite side from Hakiro. The crowd gives an anxious pop as both men engage in a race to reach the top, and therefore an advantage.] TD: This is incredible, folks! Either one of these men could slip at any second, and whoever hits the floor first will be the loser... SR: Look at them go! Come on, Hakiro! [Both men approach the top of the log, and they each grab hold of the chain at the same time. Hakiro pulls himself up with both arms, and uses one hand to prise Musashi's fingers off the chain. Takezo slips back down the log, and frantically claws at the chipping bark. He wraps his legs around the log as tightly as he can, and works his way back up. Hakiro has by now positioned himself on top of the log, and he stamps on Musashi's fingers every time he tries to grab the end of the log. Matsuoko's movements, however, cause the log to swing sharply and violently, and Hakiro suddenly seems to lose his balance. The crowd pops as Hakiro topples over forwards. Amazingly, he grabs hold of Musashi as he falls, and ends up dangling precariously headfirst above the ring.] TD: This is too much, folks! I can't stand this! [Musashi grits his teeth, and tries to climb up the log, using his legs and arms to slowly and agonisingly shimmy up the log, Matsuoko still clinging to his back. Takezo reaches for the top of the log, but the bark comes away in his hand, and he topples backwards, both men falling into the ring with a crash. The crowd pops in confusion.] TD: Whoa! Who hit the mat first?! SR: Musashi did, for sure. BL: I don't know, Steve... it could have been Hakiro. TD: Let's get the official decision from the ring announcer. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Takezo Musashi hit the mat first, so here is your winner: Hakiro Matsuoko! [Big pop! The referee in the ring raises Mutsuoko's arm in victory as his music starts up over the PA. The other referee enters the ring and begins arguing with his colleague, and Matsuoko's music stops. The second official talks to Sparkplug Lee, who makes another announcement.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the other official has reversed the decision. Hakiro Matsuoko hit the mat first, so your winner is the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [Big pop as the second official raises the Enigma's arm, but the first official quickly signals for Musashi's music to be stopped, and the two referees begin arguing in the ring once more.] TD: Come on! We need a definitive decision here... Hang on, here comes the IIWF President. Surely the only reasonable decision he can make is to declare this match a draw. It's simply too close to call. SR: Of course it isn't, Dross. Hakiro won this match fair and square... nobody wants to see this end in a draw. [President Dan makes his way to ringside, and enters the squared circle. He listens to the appeals of the two officials, and eventually nods. The crowd is becoming restless as the IIWF President converses with the ring announcer.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the IIWF President has informed me that he has studied a video replay of the close of this match, and he has ruled that your winner is... Hakiro Matsuoko! [Big heel pop as the first official raises Matsuoko's arm again. The Enigma rolls exhausted from the ring and hangs his head.] SR: Wow... the IIWF President makes a good decision! What went wrong there? TD: Well, these fans aren't happy with the decision of the IIWF President, but I'm sure he's ruled the right way. We're trying to bring you that video footage of the fall, folks... yes, we have it now. [An instant replay of the end of the match zooms onto the screen. A camera positioned on the ring apron with an unobstructed view of the mat is the vantage point as Hakiro and Musashi fall from the log. Matsuoko and Musashi appear to hit the mat at exactly the same time. A shot taken from the other side of the ring tells the same story: both men hit the mat at precisely the same time.] TD: Well, folks, I don't know quite what's going on here. That seems to be fairly good cause to believe that this match should indeed have been declared a draw. [The IIWF President makes his way back up the aisle to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He is suddenly stopped at the head of the aisle by an irate Don Antonio, who gets in his face and shouts him down. The camera microphones pick up various words: "Lau... sold out... cheat!"] TD: I don't like the look of this. Folks, Don Antonio appears to be accusing the IIWF President of partiality in this past decision. I thought the IIWF and the Family had come to an agreement that these allegations would be dropped, but it seems that the Don is truly convinced that President Dan is on Brian Lau's payroll... SR: Face it, Dross, the pieces fit. Lau leaves ringside during the match, there's a controversial ending, and the President rules in Lau's favour. Seems pretty conclusive to me. TD: I can't believe that's true, Steve. And Don Antonio is skating on thin ice right here... He could face a suspension for this little display. [A security team appears and envelops the furious Don, dragging him, pointing and shouting, back to the locker room area. The IIWF President looks flustered, but continues on his way. Hakiro Matsuoko follows up the aisle, exhausted but jubilant. Meanwhile, the "Enigma" stands in the ring, looking desolate. The crowd give him an ovation as he drops from the ring and walks up the aisle, slapping the odd hand dejectedly. The buzz in the crowd dies down. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: Sorry about that little disturbance, folks. Up next, we're going to see the first of tonight's championship matches. Originally, the Armed Forces were to defend their IIWF World Tag Team titles against the men from whom they wrestled the belts in August, the High Plains Drifters, and Stunt Team USA, whose impressive run of form has made them top contenders. However, as we saw earlier tonight, an extra element has been added to this match -- the undefeated former champions, Rising Sun Revolution. Ryudu and Hiroshi won the titles at the first Ring Wars back last June, but chose to vacate them only two days later in order to compete in a charity invitational tournament in Japan. The Drifters won the titles in the tournament that followed, but the Demon and the Dragon still have a strong claim to the titles, and if they're as impressive in the ring as they were when we last saw them, they could take those belts back here tonight! SR: I can't believe that crooked idiot we call our President reinstated those two sushi-munching morons for this title match. You can bet that Aaron the Caddie is fuming back there in the locker rooms. TD: There's nothing he, you or anybody can do, Steve. The IIWF President has spoken. Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- FOUR-WAY IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP ELIMINATION MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Armed Forces vs. Stunt Team USA vs. High Plains Drifters vs. Rising Sun Revolution ------------------------------------------------------------ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is a special four-way elimination match, and it is for the IIWF World Tag Team Championship! [Pop!] The rules are as follows: two men must be in the ring at all times, and once they have wrestled, they may tag out to any other man standing on the apron. All kinds of elimination are allowed in this match: pinfall, submission, countout and disqualification. The match continues until three teams have been eliminated. Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 588lbs, and accompanied by the "Wizard" Belgarath McEndeavour, here are Ron "Danger Freak" Fire and Steve "Airborne" Forget: Stunt Team USA! [Big pop as Stunt Team USA jog down the walkway, fireworks exploding as they go. Ron and Steve each roll under the bottom rope and stand in the ring, their arms raised. The crowd gives them a good ovation.] TD: Stunt Team USA have built up quite a following amongst the great fans of the IIWF. SR: They'd be a whole lot more popular with me if they dumped that ridiculous manager of theirs. A wizard?! Give me a break. RA: Introducing next, accompanied to the ring by the "Outlaw" Josey Wales, at a combined weight of 502lbs, here are Pale Rider and Easy Rider: the High Plains Drifters! ["The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" plays on the PA as the Drifters appear through a cloud of smoke at the head of the walkway. They open their overcoats to show off their counterfeit belts as they make their way to the ring.] TD: There are those belts again... I guess either way, tonight's the last we'll see of them, regardless of how the Drifters fare in this match. SR: It won't make any difference, Dross. Everybody knows that the Drifters are the best team in the IIWF, whether they're wearing belts or not. [The Drifters enter the ring and eye Ron and Steve suspiciously. Pale Rider shouts some words of abuse at his opponents, but Ron and Steve stay in their corner.] RA: Introducing next, hailing from the land of the rising sun, at a combined weight of 570lbs, here are Ryudu "Taisu" Kenjinata and Hiroshi "Daioni" Kasai... they are Rising Sun Revolution! [Huge pop as the theme from "Bladerunner" starts up once more. Ryudu and Hiroshi jog down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans as they come. They leap onto the apron and step into the ring, looking at their opponents across the squared circle. The crowd noise remains at fever pitch.] TD: Just listen to these people! Stunt Team USA would have been the fan favourites in this match, but it must be said that Rising Sun Revolution have usurped that position now. These men are tremendous athletes -- remember, this team remains undefeated here in the IIWF. SR: Well, I might add that they've only wrestled a few matches here in the IIWF, and the competition has got a whole lot tougher since the Revulsion... TD: [interrupting] That's Revolution, Steve. SR: Whatever. The competition has got a whole lot tougher since they left, and I have a feeling their undefeated streak is going to come to an end right here tonight. RA: And introducing last, hailing from Omaha, Nebraska, at a combined weight of 643lbs, and accompanied to the ring by Aaron the Caddie, here are the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces! [Big heel pop for the Forces as they walk down to the ring looking furious, led by a fuming Aaron the Caddie. Aaron storms down to ringside, his men behind him, and yells at the official, waving his golf club wildly.] TD: It looks like Aaron isn't too happy about the addition of Rising Sun Revolution to this match. SR: And who can blame him? These two Japanese idiots think they can just waltz back into the IIWF and demand title shots... without the champions even getting a say? TD: If the Armed Forces were truly champions, they'd take on all comers. SR: You know, Dross, it's that kind of corny, sententious moral crap that just makes me want to bash your teeth in. [The official argues with the Forces, and seems unable to convince them to enter the ring. Eventually, the referee goes over to the ring announcer, who speaks:] RA: I have been informed by the referee that if the Armed Forces do not enter the ring to participate in their contracted match, they will be disqualified by default, and therefore lose the IIWF World Tag Team Championship titles! [Big pop. Aaron practically has a fit on the outside, but NavCom and DefCon throw off their military gear, discard their belts, and jump to the apron. The Forces refuse to enter the ring, and the Drifters similarly step outside, leaving Ron of STUSA to face Hiroshi of RSR.] TD: Two big powerhouses in the ring to start things off here. [The bell rings, and the two men lock up. Hiroshi pushes Ron into the ropes, and attempts a clothesline, which Ron ducks underneath. He turns, but his slightly smaller opponent is more nimble, and Ron fires back with a clothesline of his own. Hiroshi goes down, but rolls out of the way of an attempted legdrop, and is quickly to his feet. Ron and Hiroshi look at one another, and then at the Armed Forces. They run over to the corner to each tag in one of the champions, but NavCom and DefCon both jump from the apron to the arena floor. Heel pop as the Forces signal that they're smarter than that. Ron and Hiroshi instead tag in their respective partners, and the smaller men, Steve and Ryudu, size up the Forces, launching themselves at them with a pair of beautifully executed plancha dives. NavCom and DefCon clatter into the steel crowd barriers. Huge pop from the crowd! Ryudu and Steve roll back into the ring, and Ryudu tags out to Easy Rider.] TD: Wow! Stunt Team USA and Rising Sun Revolution proving that they can work together against a common enemy here! [Easy charges in, and is hiptossed by Steve. He charges in again, and is once more hiptossed. The third time, he lifts a knee, catches Steve in the midsection, doubling him over, and he capitalises with a big powerbomb. Cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! He drags Steve to his feet and executes a Brainbuster suplex, before again going for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! On the outside, Aaron the Caddie attempts to revive his men and pull them back to their feet. Meanwhile, Steve is on the receiving end of a high-powered assault from Easy Rider. Easy executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Steve, and then peppers Ron, Ryudu and Hiroshi with punches, causing them to try and storm the ring. The official has his work cut out trying to keep the three men out of the ring, giving Easy sufficient time to tag in Pale and doubleteam Steve, hitting him with a double front face slam and a double clothesline. Pale covers Steve, but the referee is still trying to make peace on the outside. Eventually the official turns - 1 - 2 - Steve kicks out!] SR: That incompetent official just cost the Drifters an elimination! There was no way Forget was going to get up from that assault. [Pale bounces against the ropes, and is struck in the back by the Wizard's quarterstaff. Pale goes down, but the referee appeared not to notice the breach of the rules. Josey Wales, however, most certainly did, and he makes a beeline for McEndeavour, confronting him. The two managers get into a slanging match, and Wales takes a swing at the Wizard, snatching his staff away from him and whacking him in the ribs with it. The old man goes down. Meanwhile, Steve makes the tag to his partner, and Ron storms the ring, going to town on Pale Rider. Ron drags Pale to his feet and whips him into RSR's corner, where Hiroshi and Ryudu discreetly hold him in place. Ron runs in with an avalanche splash, hitting hard, and Pale Rider staggers out into the ring. Ron ducks behind him, jumps to the second buckle, and performs a big bulldog on the cowboy! Big pop! He covers - 1 - 2 - Pale kicks out! Ron drags Pale to his feet and attempts to whip him into the ropes. Pale somehow reverses, sending Ron for the ride, and from the outside, Wales strikes Ron in the back with the staff. The big man turns and shouts abuse at the manager, allowing Pale Rider to grab him from behind with a handful of tights and roll him up for the cover - 1 - 2 - Steve storms the ring, but is too late - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Stunt Team USA have been eliminated! [Big heel pop. Ryudu immediately dashes into the ring as Ron rolls out under the bottom rope. He attacks Pale Rider with a volley of kicks, then drags him to his feet and whips him into the ropes. He executes a high-impact spinning leg lariat on the cowboy as he comes back, and Pale's head snaps back as he hits the mat. Ryudu makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Ryudu runs over to the HPD's corner and nails Easy Rider with a hard right hand, and the big man tries to enter the ring. The official holds him back, and Ryudu tags in Hiroshi. The Demon immediately hoists Pale Rider up into position for a vertical suplex, and holds him vertically for almost ten seconds, soliciting a huge awed pop from the crowd, before dropping him straight down into a piledriver. Big pop! Hiroshi covers - 1 - 2 - Easy Rider charges in and makes the save, stomping on Hiroshi's head. The Demon rolls away, clutching at the back of his head, but rolls in the direction of the Forces' corner, and while the referee ushers Easy out of the ring, the Forces double-team Hiroshi, dragging him to his feet and raking his eyes, choking him with the tag rope, and putting the boots in, all directed from the outside by Aaron the Caddie. Pale makes the tag to DefCon, and the big workhorse of the champions lumbers into the ring.] TD: Finally, the champions enter the fray. BL: It's a smart gameplan from the Forces. In this match, they have to win to retain their titles, so they need to stay outside as much as possible, letting the other teams fight it out. Now that Blunt Team have gone and the Rising Damp Revolution look like they're going that way, now's a good time for big DefCon to take Hiroshi to the cleaners. [DefCon bodyslams Hiroshi, drops the leg and covers - 1 - 2 - kickout! He turns and taunts Ryudu, who stays in his corner, before attempting an elbowdrop on Hiroshi, who rolls out of the way! Pop! DefCon attempts another elbowdrop, and again Hiroshi rolls out of the way, and under the bottom rope to the outside. The referee restrains DefCon from following his opponent out, in doing so turning his back on the outside, where Aaron the Caddie takes a swipe at Hiroshi with his golf club. Hiroshi goes down, and Aaron brings the club down onto his back with a crack. Big heel pop as Aaron showboats to the crowd.] TD: That little worm. What a despicable display! SR: What did he do? TD: You know very well that Aaron the Caddie just struck Hiroshi with his golf club. SR: He did? Wow, that's unlike him. [DefCon pushes past the referee and follows Hiroshi to the outside. He picks up the big man, and rams his back against the ring apron and the steel ringpost. Hiroshi howls in pain, so DefCon repeats the manoeuvre, before rolling the Japanese athlete back into the ring. He tags in NavCom, who drags Hiroshi to his feet and whips him into the ropes, performing a high-elevation back bodydrop on the big man, who lands with a crash. Cover - 1 - 2 - Ryudu makes the save! The referee pushes Ryudu out of the ring, and the Forces use the opportunity to doubleteam Hiroshi, raking his eyes with the ropes and both of the champions putting the boots in. NavCom tags DefCon back in, and together they whip Hiroshi across the ring. Hiroshi ducks underneath a double clothesline attempt, and fires back with a big double clothesline of his own. The Forces go down, and so does Hiroshi. He crawls over to a corner, and tags in the first hand he finds. In charges Easy Rider, dragging DefCon to his feet and slugging it out in the centre of the ring. DefCon fires back, but his swings are easily blocked by the fresher cowboy.] TD: This could spell trouble for the champions here -- the Drifters want those belts back, and you can bet they'll go to any lengths to capture them again here tonight. [Easy whips DefCon into the ropes, and hits him with a big clothesline. He drags the big man to his feet, and in an impressive display of strength, hoists him up into position for the Unforgiven inverse piledriver. The crowd pops as Easy drops DefCon on his head and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Easy is distracted by Aaron the Caddie jumping up onto the apron. The referee goes to force the manager down, while NavCom climbs to the top turnbuckle brandishing Aaron's club. He leaps into the ring, bringing the club down on the back of Easy's head, and nails Pale Rider for good measure, before rolling back out of the ring and straight into the reach of Josey Wales, who snatches the club from him and clocks him about the face with it, knocking him silly. However, as the referee turns, he sees DefCon recover sufficiently to lay an arm across Easy's chest for the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the High Plains Drifters have been eliminated! [Big mixed pop. Hiroshi storms the ring, and immediately sets about DefCon.] TD: I can't see this one lasting much longer. I guess with three managers on the outside, there was always too much opportunity for outside interference, and we've certainly seen plenty thus far. [The already groggy DefCon reels from the assault from Hiroshi, who executes a flying powerslam, and then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on his big opponent. He picks DefCon up into position for a sideslam, and then tags in Ryudu, who climbs to the top rope. The fans pop as Ryudu raises his arms!] TD: This is it! Here comes the Naginata Nightmare! SR: No way! Do something, Aaron! [Ryudu comes crashing down with a legdrop on DefCon, the impact making the ring shake. Ryudu covers DefCon in the corner of the ring, and the referee counts - 1 - 2 - Aaron the Caddie pulls Ryudu out of the ring by his leg! The referee doesn't see, assuming that the Dragon left the squared circle of his own accord. On the outside, Ryudu confronts Aaron, who backs off, and walks straight into the huge Hiroshi. Trapped between the Demon and the Dragon, he leaps over the barriers into the crowd. Big pop! Ryudu rolls back into the ring.] TD: Well, we always knew that Aaron was a coward, but he's abandoned his men at just the wrong time! NavCom's still down on the outside after Wales clocked him with that club, and DefCon doesn't look too good inside the ring... SR: This is crazy! The Forces should never have had to wrestle this match. It's a conspiracy, Dross! It's thrown their gameplan... this is... I can't... oh... [Ryudu covers DefCon - 1 - 2 -- DefCon gets his feet on the ropes! Big shocked pop from the crowd. Ryudu drags DefCon to his feet and tags in Hiroshi. Ryudu whips the big army man into a corner, and then sends Hiroshi in after him. The huge Japanese athlete avalanches DefCon in the corner, and DefCon staggers backwards into the ring, taking a few steps before crashing down on his back. Hiroshi tags in Ryudu once more, and the Dragon immediately leaps to the ropes, launching himself with a somersault bodysplash that takes him nearly three quarters of the way across the ring! He covers DefCon - 1 -- NavCom gets his hand on the apron and begins to drag himself to his feet -- 2 -- NavCom slides in under the bottom rope, but he's too late -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The crowd erupts with a huge pop!] RA: [shouting] Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, and _NEW_ IIWF World Tag Team Champions, Rising Sun Revolution! [NavCom rolls DefCon from the ring as fireworks explode high above in the dome. Hiroshi and Ryudu embrace in the ring, and the referee hands them the shiny gold belts previously worn by the Armed Forces. RSR go to each turnbuckle in sequence, each climbing to the second buckle and holding the belts aloft, as cameras flash all over the Hoosier Dome. Eventually, they leave the ring, and vault the crowd barriers, enveloped by the sea of fans all wanting to see and touch the belts and the new champions.] TD: Wow! I can barely hear myself think in here! Rising Sun Revolution have picked up where they left off at Ring Wars I, taking back the IIWF World Tag Team Championships! What a match that was! SR: I can't believe this! The Armed Forces were ripped off in a big way here tonight, Dross. Just when you think the IIWF President might be coming to his senses, he makes a completely ridiculous decision, like allowing these two idiots to Pearl Harbour our fine upstanding American Armed Forces! TD: I hardly think that's an accurate description of the events here tonight, Steve. Nevertheless, we have new IIWF World Tag Team Champions, folks, and there are still three more titles on the line here tonight at Ring Wars II. BL: Just look at those two out there in the fans... TD: Well, Becky, Rising Sun Revolution are without doubt champions who care about their loyal fans a great deal, and they made up for their long absence from the IIWF with a fantastic performance tonight. SR: Humph. TD: We must move on. I understand that Brian Lau is somewhere deep in the bowels of the Hoosier Dome, with Shinja Chow still on his tail. Let's go over to Kenny Tanaka. [Cut to a hallway of the Hoosier Dome. Kenny stands with Brian, who seems to be sweating a bit and looking around anxiously.] KT: Brian, how do you feel about that last match? BL: I couldn't be happier, Kenny, but I have some other things on my mind right now. KT: What is it? BL: That freak, Shinja Chow has started chasing me everywhere I go. I've called the rest of the Syndicate for help, but Chow keeps cutting me off from them. I think I can get to Hakiro now. Hopefully, he can help me with this problem. I'm sorry, Kenny, but I have to go... Here he comes. [Brian runs off, and Shinja Chow is seen calmly following him down the hall. Kenny watches the pursuit.] KT: Well, I'll try and get more information on this situation as it develops. [to Chow] Hey! You! Why don't you leave him alone!? [Chow ignores Kenny and continues down the hall. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Personally, I hope Chow catches up with Lau and deals with him once and for all. Moving on; the comments have being coming in for a while now, and it looks like we're finally going to find out just who the Lady DeWinter is bringing into the IIWF. And so far, she's certainly got my attention... SR: Yeah, I could tell that by the look on your face when she invited you to dinner... TD: And just what is that supposed to mean? BL: You were all over that classless tramp. TD: Becky, please! The Lady DeWinter is one of the most elegant, beautiful women I have ever set eyes on. In any case, just over a week ago, Milady started dropping hints about a man, whom she claims is the world's most gifted technical wrestler. I'm still sceptical -- how many men have made that claim before? SR: Too many, Dross. However, I have a feeling that this might not be so lofty a claim... [Lady DeWinter is walking down to a raised interview area near ringside, accompanied by a footman. She is wearing an elegant Versace gown, with one leg split to the hip. She stops for a second, giving the crowd a look of complete disdain.] TD: Admittedly, her attitude could do with a little fine-tuning. SR: She looks perfect to me. Maybe you're even less of a man than I thought, if that's possible. Her "man" can't have been too pleased with the way you were slavering over her at dinner. BL: Which did you find more appetising, Timmy? The fine French cuisine, or that... [nearly spits] bitch? SR: For your sake, Dross, you'd better not have upset her main squeeze. TD: You know who it is, don't you? SR: Hey, I do my research... TD: Who is it, then? SR: Shut up, Dross. Barry Moron's about to conduct the interview. [Lady DeWinter steps onto the platform and walks up to Larry Morton, giving the crowd a cold look.] LM: Lady DeWinter, over the last week or so you have been talking about a wrestler you are planning to introduce into the IIWF. And in the process, you have made some, very, erm... very unladylike comments about the United States. DeW: Mr. Morton, everything about this country disgusts me. [The crowd starts booing.] The filth I see in the streets is completely appalling [she glares at the crowd] and the people have no respect for social class or station whatsoever. I regret nothing that I have said. LM: That isn't a very nice attitude coming from a guest to our country.. DeW: [laughing] Guest, you call it? I'm here on business, and that's all. If I had the choice, I would be gracing the courts of Europe. LM: [fighting to be heard above the crowd] Milady, I'm going to be frank here. You've said a lot about your wrestler, but you have yet to tell us exactly who he is. Will you please put us out of our misery and bring him out here? DeW: [snatching the mic] Certainly, Mr. Morton, if you would be so kind as to step back... [she addresses the crowd, who are booing everything she says] Now I would like all of you proletarian imbeciles to kindly stand up and show some respect for the man weighing in at 275lbs, and hailing from Lancashire, England... ["Intermezzo" from Sibelius' "Karelia" Suite starts up over the PA system.] SR: [almost in awe] No way... DeW: ...for the man who may very well be the single, greatest, technical wrestler in the world today... SR: Out of my way, Dross, I've gotta be involved in this! TD: Steve, wait! You know who it is? Too late... Steve's on his way up to the interview platform. DeW: ...stand up and show the proper respect for.. Looooord Byyyyrron!! [The crowd boo deafeningly. A well built and handsome man steps out of the dressing room area and into the aisle. He has his blonde hair tied back in a small bob, and is elegantly dressed in an expensive Versace suit. He is also carrying a long black brass topped walking cane. Without even acknowledging the crowd, he walks straight towards the interview area, a look of smug superiority on his face. In the background, Steve Roberts and Larry Morton are having a tug of war with the mic.] SR: Give me that mic... Lord Byron! Sir! Come up here... [Steve offers a handshake to Byron, who accepts, wipes his hand on his jacket and folds his arms. Lady DeWinter walks up behind Byron and puts her arms around his waist. Byron shrugs her off irritatedly.] SR: Okay, let me be the first to welcome you here to the IIWF, and may I say, sir, what a pleasure it is to meet you. Byron: [speaking in an unmistakably British accent] Steve, let me make one thing perfectly clear, right here, right now. I am here, quite simply, to wrestle. And when I wrestle, I wrestle to win. I really couldn't give a damn about what all you miserable peons out there think. I am not here to win your respect or your popularity, I am here to win matches. You see, Steve, over the past few months, I've been hearing a great deal about this federation, about the heated competiton, about the [sneers] incredibly talented athletes et al. Well, so far tonight, I have been very disappointed. I have seen nothing at all to suggest that any of the wrestlers here could even begin to present a challenge to me. [The crowd roars in anger. Byron ignores them.] Byron: So what I am going to do here is send out a warning. To people like you, Chris Quigley. To people like Dan Kauffman, Don Antonio and the Subway Psycho. The so-called [sneer] top competition here in the IIWF. If all your individual talents were combined into one, you would still fall some way short of the ability I possess. I'm here to show you just what a true professional wrestler can do, and if that means that I have to go through every single one of you miserable clowns, that is exactly what I will do. DeW: [putting her arm around Byron's shoulder] It doesn't matter who it is, my Lord will accept any challenge, any time, anywhere. He is _the_ greatest technical wrestler this world has ever produced, and once you meet him in the ring, you will begin to see how he has earned that title. And you will wish that you had never been so stupid as to doubt him. Byron: As I said, I am here to win. And noone is going to stop me. Steve, it has been an honour speaking to you. Ciao. ["Intermezzo" from "Karelia" Suite starts up again, and Byron performs a mocking French bow to the crowd, before taking the Lady DeWinter's hand and leading her down the steps and back to the locker room area.] TD: What arrogance! If Byron thinks he can just waltz in here and put the badmouth on people like Dan Kauffman and Chris Quigley, he's got another thing coming! BL: Er, Timmy, I hate to tell you this, but he just did. TD: Talk is cheap here in the IIWF, Becky. We'll see whether Byron has the tools to back it up in the ring. [Steve Roberts returns to the broadcast table.] SR: Wow. Lord Byron. The front office pulled off quite a coup in securing his talents. This guy has won more titles than you've had hot dinners, Dross. He's going to tear through the competition here in the IIWF, just you wait. TD: Well, I greatly look forward to his first appearance in the ring. Right now, let's discuss the IIWF Intercontinental Championship match coming up next. Tiger Claw is the IIWF's greatest Intercontinental Champion to date, having held the belt for an unprecedented three separate reigns, although many have suggested that there has been more than a little luck involved in his continued success. Certainly, with the might of the Syndicate behind him... SR: ...not to mention a crooked IIWF President... TD: Steve, please. Let's just say that Tiger Claw is not short of allies. However, I suggest that tonight, he's going to need all the friends he can get as he goes up against Don Antonio, who actually defeated Tiger Claw for the Intercontinental Championship back in September on IIWF Saturday Night [footage rolls]. This was probably the most controversial title match in IIWF history... first, the Don pinned Tiger Claw, when manager Salvatore Fiorello nailed Claw from the outside with a baseball bat, but Brian Lau demanded an instant rematch, and the referee in the ring, after taking advisement from a second official, agreed. So we saw two Intercontinental Championship changes in the same night, as Tiger Claw then pinned Don Antonio, powerbombing him with the baseball bat for the victory, injuring the Don and putting him in the hospital for ten days. The Don was furious that the instant rematch had been deemed legal, and threatened to bring charges against the IIWF on the grounds that the IIWF President was on Brian Lau's payroll. Of course, these allegations were quickly refuted, and an out-of-court settlement was reached, stipulating that the Don drop his allegations of corruption in exchange for a title shot, with his own stipulations, here at Ring Wars II. However, following the controversial finish to the Log Scaffold Match earlier on tonight, it seems that the Don remains convinced that the IIWF President is crooked. So why would he stipulate that the only person who should hold a key to the cage to let anybody in or out should be the IIWF President himself? SR: Simple, Dross... he's stupid with a capital "moron". TD: Well, one has to wonder at the wisdom of signing for a Baseball Bat Cage Match, but that's what we're going to see up next. The cage is set up, so let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP BASEBALL BAT CAGE MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. Don Antonio ---------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee stands at ringside, the fifteen foot steel cage glinting in the spotlights which illuminate the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall, and it is a special Baseball Bat Cage Match for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship! [Big pop] The rules are as follows: there will be no disqualifications and no countouts -- the only way to end the match is by pinfall or submission. A baseball bat will be suspended from a chain in the centre of the ring, and the bat may be freely used by either competitor as a weapon. The cage will be locked, and the only key will be held by the IIWF President. At this time, would you please welcome the IIWF President, Daniel Spreadbury! [Mixed pop as President Dan makes his way down to ringside, accompanied by a referee, who steps into the cage.] RA: Introducing the combatants: first, accompanied to the ring by Salvatore Fiorello, hailing from Sicily, Italy and weighing in at 275lbs, here is the challenger: Doooonnn Annntooonniiiooo! [Big pop for the Don as spotlights pick him and his manager out at the head of the aisle. The Don is wearing a judge's gown and clutches a gavel as he makes his way down to the ring.] SR: What the hell?! This guy looks ridiculous! TD: Don Antonio is going to ensure that justice is served here tonight, Steve. [The Don steps into the ring, and raises his arms to the crowd, who give a big pop. Fireworks shoot up from the four corners of the cage and explode high in the dome above. The crowd pops, and the Don removes his judge's gown before looking up at the baseball bat suspended above him.] RA: And introducing the champion: accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, hailing from Thailand, and weighing in at 220lbs, here is the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw! [Big heel pop for Claw and Lau as they appear at the head of the aisle. Claw emblems spin on the walkway as the two make their way to the ring, the belt glinting around the champion's waist. When he reaches ringside, Tiger Claw bows to the IIWF President, and hands him the belt, before receiving a few last-minute pointers from Brian Lau and climbing the steps into the cage.] RA: The IIWF President will now lock the cage! [President Dan pulls a key out of his pocket and climbs the ringsteps. He fastens a padlock on the door, and ensures that it is locked firmly. He then deposits the key back in his pocket, and takes his place seated at ringside. The referee signals for the bell, and the match is underway.] TD: I would _not_ want to be that referee, in there with those two athletes. This is one of the most dangerous matches there is. [Don and Claw circle each other; Claw flashes a few kicks past the Don's ears, but Antonio seems unfazed. Eventually, the two men lock up, and the Don pushes Claw into the ropes. He misses with a clothesline, but armdrags Claw on the rebound. The champion is straight back to his feet and charges in again; the Don sidesteps and executes a drop toe hold sending Claw down to the canvas. The champion is frustrated, and leaps back to his feet. The Don taunts Claw, and he charges in again. The Don executes another armdrag, and then scissors Claw's head. The titlist tries to break the hold, but the Don tightens his grip. Eventually, Claw grabs the ropes, and the Don lets him go, but stays on him, peppering him with punches as he drags himself to his feet. The Don sends Claw for the ride, but the champion ducks under a clothesline attempts, and hits back with a clothesline of his own. The Don goes down. Claw kicks the Don in the face with his bare heel, and then drops a leg. Eyeing the bat, he climbs to the top turnbuckle, and jumps at the dangling weapon. He grabs it, and lands nimbly on his feet in the ring. Big heel pop as Claw drives the bat into the Don's ribs.] TD: Well, it didn't take long for Claw to get that bat. BL: He's got a clear game plan, Timmy. He has to take the Doofus out early with as much offense as he can in as short a space of time as possible. TD: Those ribs probably haven't recovered from the damage they took the last time these two met. This could be bad for the Don. SR: Oh, I do hope so. [Claw drags Don to his feet and whips him into the ropes, clotheslining him with the bat. Big heel pop as the Don goes down with tremendous impact. Claw brings the bat down with a crack on the Don's chest, and Antonio screams out in pain. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Pop! Claw drags the Don to his feet and whips him into the ropes again. This time, the Don ducks under the clothesline, and grabs the ropes. Claw charges in, swinging with the bat, but the Don ducks, and Claw jars his arms hitting the cage with the bat. The Don grabs the bat, and immediately brings it up inbetween Tiger Claw's legs. Claw screams, and the crowd pops!] TD: Ouch! Tiger Claw's going to be singing a few octaves higher in the shower from now on! SR: I don't care whether this is a no disqualification match or not -- there's no excusing that kind of tactics. TD: Unless Tiger Claw was doing it to the Don instead, right, Steve? SR: Spot on, Dross. You're finally learning! [A buzz in the crowd heralds the arrival at the head of the walkway of the White Phoenix, Shinja Chow, who slowly and calmly makes his way to the ring. Lau sees Chow coming and immediately tries to put as much distance between him and his pursuer.] TD: It looks like Chow just can't stay away from Brian Lau. BL: It must be his "Eau de Cigarette Ash" cologne -- it'll attract a Phoenix every time. [Don knocks Claw to the mat, and begins choking him down with the bat. Claw grabs the bat at both ends, and tries to push it away from his throat. The referee lays the count on the Don, but Antonio doesn't release the hold, since he can't be disqualified. Finally, Claw hits the Don with a knee to his back, and he releases the choke. Both men struggle to their feet. Don takes a swing at Claw with the bat, and Claw blocks, grabbing the weapon. A tug of war breaks out, and the Don kicks Claw in the midsection, pulling the bat away from him. Don cracks Claw in the leg with the bat, clipping his knee out from under him. Tiger Claw goes down, clutching his knee. The Don continues working over the now immobile Claw.] TD: This is simply brutal, folks. Hang on -- here come the rest of the Syndicate! I don't see how this is going to help Tiger Claw, though -- that cage is totally sealed, and the IIWF President holds the only key. [Big heel pop as Hakiro Matsuoko, Casey James and Joe Latta make their way down ringside. Casey goes over to talk to the IIWF President, putting his arm around President Dan's shoulders and pushing him up the aisle.] TD: What?! SR: Don't Casey and our beloved President look terribly chummy? TD: Yes, they do... I don't get this. Hang on, Latta's got that lock open! Hakiro and Latta are storming the cage! This is crazy! The referee's got to stop this match! SR: He can't, Dross! There's no disqualifications! TD: How did they get that lock open?! Only the IIWF President had a key! How could the Syndicate have a key too?! SR: It's obvious, Dross -- the IIWF President has sold out! This is great! Finally, a President we can respect and trust! TD: No! It can't be! The Don's trying to fight off the Syndicate, but the odds aren't in his favour... Sal's got into a scuffle with Brian Lau on the outside... this is chaos! [The Don swipes at the intruders with the bat, but ends up being beaten down to the mat. Latta grabs the bat, and drives it repeatedly into the Don's gut while Hakiro holds him still. The crowd are going nuts. Eventually, the Don slumps to the mat, apparently unconscious, and Tiger Claw rolls across him for the cover. The referee looks around confused, but eventually makes the count as Hakiro and Latta leave the cage once more and go to their manager's aid - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge heel pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _STILL_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion: Tiiiigeeeer Claaaaw! [There is a commotion at the head of the aisle as Vinny Cappicola charges down to the ring. Chow immediately goes after the Syndicate, while Cappicola leaps into the cage and attacks Claw, smacking him across the face with the bat. Claw goes down, apparently out cold.] TD: Wow! That would have been a home run for sure! Thank heavens for the White Phoenix and Vinny Cappicola! [Vinny tends to the Don, who is coming round after the attack by Latta and Matsuoko, while Chow chases Lau, Matsuoko and Latta back to the locker room. As Cappicola drags the Don to his feet, and drapes his arm over his shoulder to help him from the ring, the Don clutches at his ribs and chest. The crowd give him a tremendous pop as he is helped down from the ring by Vinny and Sal.] TD: I don't know what to say, folks! There's clearly some very pertinent questions to be answered concerning this match... SR: It seems fairly obvious to me, Dross -- the IIWF President has sold out. For once in his life, that pasta-munching moron was right! TD: I still can't believe that President Dan could be bought off by Brian Lau. There's got to be another explanation! BL: Face it, Timmy -- there's something bigger at work here, and the IIWF President is just on-- TD: [interrupting] Hold on, Becky... I understand that Larry Morton is back in the locker room area with President Dan... Larry? [Cut to a handheld shot of Morton waiting outside a closed door somewhere backstage.] LM: I'm here, Tim. I'm here outside the IIWF President's dressing room, and he's inside right now. I'm going to try and get a few words with him about what we've just seen. [Larry knocks on the door. He knocks again, and this time the door opens, and President Dan, carrying his belongings, pushes past Larry without a word. He hurries down the corridor towards the exit. Morton and the cameraman take off after him.] LM: President Dan, sir! Can I have a quick word? DS: [without stopping or turning] No comment, Larry. LM: But Mr. President, the fans have a right to know how the Syndicate came to have a copy of a key that was in your possession! DS: [continuing on towards the exit] Larry, I can't talk right now. LM: And how about that decision earlier tonight, ruling in favour of Hakiro Matsuoko in the Log Scaffold Match, when all the video evidence we can lay our hands on suggests that the match was a draw? DS: [barging the arena door open with his case and walking on] I've told you, Morton, I have no comments now, okay? [President Dan stops at his car and fumbles in his pocket for the keys. Larry speaks again, grabbing the President's shoulder.] LM: Mr. President, please answer our ques-- DS: [shouting him down] Listen here, Morton! If you still want to have a job on Monday morning, you'd better back off right now! How many times do I have to tell you? I have no comment! Now get out of my way! [President Dan pushes Larry out of the way, and gets into his car, slamming the door and quickly starting the engine. Larry knocks on the window, shouting questions at the President.] LM: Have you sold out to Brian Lau? Why have you betrayed the fans of the IIWF? When will you issue a statement? [The President revs up the car, and zooms out of the unloading area, screeching off into the distance. Larry watches the car disappear into the night, then turns back to the camera.] LM: Er... it seems the IIWF President isn't ready to discuss these issues with us right now. Back to you at ringside, Tim. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] SR: The Prez looked pretty steamed, Dross. TD: He certainly did, Steve. I still think it's too early to jump to any conclusions about whether or not he's on the Syndicate's payroll. He could have been... er... called away by the Board of Directors or something... BL: Running away from the scene of the crime, more like. That was the demeanour of a guilty man... TD: I refuse to accept it. Anyway, folks, let's press on. We're now only minutes away from the first half of tonight's double main event. The second ring has been quickly assembled, and the ring staff are now erecting that huge double steel cage. It's almost time for Wargames. Let's take a look at the two teams in this one. [Cut to pretaped footage, backed by a fast-paced rock track. Voice over:] TD: Leading the team he has termed the "sheriffs" is Dan Kauffman. This young man has been in seclusion for the past ten days, since he was locked inside a casket by the Outlaw J.W. Hardin and Cadaver. [Cut to footage of Dan Kauffman's comments from Friday's report.] DK: I don't care if good or evil runs the IIWF. When I was in that casket, I was rendered worthless. [Kauffman continues to speak, but his voice is obscured by the voice over:] TD: What state of mind is Kauffman now in? Is he really fit to rally together the somewhat disjointed troops who he will lead into battle? One has already declared that he is there to fight only for himself: [Cut to the Subway Psycho.] SP: I see everyone in the IIWF as a potential enemy and opponent. Stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours. TD: Even Chris Quigley, a great team player, is wrestling against doctor's orders following a severe concussion, but he remains confident that he and his allies will be victorious: [Cut to Chris Quigley's interview from the previous Wednesday's Midweek Mayhem:] CQ: And as for our Wargames team, it's going fine. Sure, we are gonna have a few personality clashes, but with myself and Dan Kauffman fronting the team, there is NO WAY we are going down! TD: The IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, Billy Shakespeare, is ruing his decision to put his title on the line against Randy Acorn in the midst of the Wargames the match, so worried is he that his teammates will let the side down: [Cut to Billy Shakespeare:] BS: I put my belt on the line in the middle of that match because I thought I'd have the best the IIWF has to offer at my side. But what do I see? Kauffman is taking on the league single-handed, Quigley is going week-to-week trying to contain the chaos which is his career, Subway is more obsessed with the front office than the ring, and I hope I speak for everyone when I say that I we don't even want Man of Steel in the ring with us. TD: The Man of Steel. Allegedly, trying to piece his life back together following a car accident, and in rehabilitation from alcohol and drug abuse, he has been almost unrecognisable in the ring since the accident, even denying that it has been him in the squared circle: [Cut to scenes from Steel's press conference:] MOS: I have to say, that was not me in there... I am not an alcholic, and I don't even drink... you refer to the other Man of Steel that wrestled Sabin Figaro. That was not me! TD: Vinny Cappicola has been concerned with the Syndicate's low-down tactics in their battle with his partner, Don Antonio. Will he be focused on the match? The White Phoenix also seems more interested in avenging the death of his sister and his father, and is targeting his aggressions at Brian Lau: [Cut to the White Phoenix.] WP: And to my War Games allies, I say simply this; things are looking bleak. Man of Steel has fallen by the wayside. Dan Kauffman has tasted death. But understand, we shall prevail, for we are the side of righteousness. Have no fear. TD: The White Phoenix has reportedly performed some kind of cleansing ritual on his teammates earlier tonight, and hopes that this will imrove their focus. [The screen darkens, and the music becomes more moody and violent.] TD: By contrast, things couldn't be better for the team led by Casey "Blackheart" James. The Syndicate is probably the strongest force in the IIWF today, and it is well-represented in this match. Joe Latta joins his captain, and together with manager Brian Lau, they are convinced that they can guide their team to victory. The Dark Knights are represented by the presence of the Sandman, whose mysterious and enigmatic words continue to confuse: [Cut to the Sandman seated on his throne.] TS: Stronger by the day and darker by the knight... Legends of Knights are told through the eyes of the dead. I see massive armies building in anticipation for a war. War Games, the match beyond. The odds seem to be with the Blackheart team. [looks up at the camera] That's just the way I like it. I can't wait to squash the competition and place them in an eternal sleep. TD: Mr. Damage, the affiliate of the Senate, is a last-minute addition to the team, due to the change in the World title match. However, he's more than ready for action tonight. Robski, too, can't wait to get his hands on the Man Of Steel. However, the unknown element in the team is one "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, whose overtures for the Intercontinental Championship have led him to threaten Casey James, the team captain. [Cut to scenes from the Battle Lines Battle Royal.] TD: Whenever men like these form alliances and make enemies, there is bound to be friction. But which side will let their disputes flare up, sending them down to defeat, and which will take the victory? The time for talking is over. Let's go up to the ring! [Cut back to the ring.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= WAR GAMES MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dan Kauffman [C] vs. Casey "Blackheart" James [C] Man Of Steel Joe Latta "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley Mr. Damage "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare "Painbringer" Billy Sexton Vinny Cappicola The Sandman The White Phoenix "Badboy" Randy Acorn Subway Psycho Robski --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee stands at ringside, dwarfed by the two rings, side-by-side, completely enclosed in a double steel cage. A referee stands in each ring. Spotlights swirl around the arena as he raises his microphone:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is the first half of tonight's double main event! It's time for WARGAMES! [Big pop!] The rules of the match are as follows: one member of each seven-man team will enter the ring, and thereafter one member of each team will enter every two minutes, according to who wins the toss of a coin. The match will continue until one team has been completely eliminated, either by pinfall or submission. Introducing the first team: led to the ring by Casey "Blackheart" James, here are the Blackheart Team! Joe Latta... Mr. Damage... "Painbringer" Billy Sexton... The Sandman... "Badboy" Randy Acorn... and Robski! [The seven-man team is greeted with a huge heel pop as they walk down to the ring to the thrashing of "Foul Taste of Freedom". Casey and Latta lead the way, and their teammates follow behind.] TD: A more unsavoury group of individuals you couldn't hope to meet. SR: Except perhaps at a Dross family reunion. [The Blackheart team take their places on the far side of the steel cage and appear to be discussing last moment tactics.] RA: And introducing the opposing team: ["Call the Man" by Celine Dion starts up over the PA to a mammoth pop] Here is the captain of the "sheriffs"... Daaaaaaaaan Kaaaauuuuffmaaan! [Kauffman appears at the head of the aisle. He stands at the entranceway and looks around the sea of faces before making his way down to the ring. He applauds the crowd as he arrives at the cage door.] RA: IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [Big pop for Billy as he jogs down to the ring.] The Subway Psycho! [Huge pop for the Psycho. The lights drop and the Psycho walks down to the ring, illuminated by a single spotlight, accompanied by Mistress Sasha.] Vinny Cappicola! [Cappicola walks straight down to the ring, business-like.] "The White Phoenix" Shinja Chow! [Fireworks shoot up from the head of the entranceway into the dome of the arena as Chow walks calmly down to the ring.] The Man Of Steel! [Mixed reaction for Steel as he appears at the head of the aisle. Still masked, he slaps a few hands on his way down to the ring.] And "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! ["For Those About To Rock" kicks in over the PA, and all eyes turn expectantly towards the head of the aisle. The music plays for a few more seconds, but there is still no sign of Quigley.] SR: Heh, Quigley's turned chicken. TD: No, Steve. Remember that he's wrestling with a concussion here tonight, and that brawl he had with Francois earlier on tonight could have put him out of action. [Eventually, Quigley appears at the head of the aisle to a big pop. He jogs down to the ring, hi-fiving fans as he goes. His teammates welcome him and pat him on the back, except for the Man Of Steel, who appears to be something of an outcast in the team.] TD: It looks like Kauffman and his comrades still don't trust the Man Of Steel, Becky. BL: Would _you_ trust a man who wears his underpants over his trousers? [The two referees signal for the first two men to enter the ring, and the bell rings. Dan Kauffman enters straight away, and Joe Latta enters from the opposite side. The two men head towards the ropes where the two rings converge, Latta shouting abuse at his former friend.] TD: These two have certainly had their differences in the past. This could be interesting. SR: Kauffman's gonna get his butt kicked very early on here. [Kauffman and Latta take swipes at each other from their respective wins, until Latta drives his shoulder into Kauffman's stomach, stunning the captain. Latta suplexes Kauffman into his ring, and begins working him over with punches and kicks. He attempts to drop a leg on Kauffman, but Dan rolls out of the way and pulls himself to his feet, shaking off the effects of the attack. Latta also gets to his feet, and charges in. Kauffman clips Latta with his knee, and he goes down. Kauffman locks on a Texas Cloverleaf.] TD: Kauffman's going for an early submission here! That Texas Cloverleaf is a very painful hold indeed. Now the critical thing is who wins the toss for the next entrant into the ring. We're coming up to the two-minute mark, and if one of Kauffman's team wins the toss, Latta can kiss his chances goodbye. [The bell rings for the two-minute mark, and Casey James enters the ring. He immediately stamps on Kauffman's back, forcing Dan to break the hold. James whips Kauffman into the ropes. Dan ducks under a clothesline, and fires back with a flying fist. He spins around to deal with Latta, and nails his former friend with a standing dropkick. The crowd pop as the Syndicate both charge Kauffman from both sides, and Dan steps out of the way, ramming their heads together. Latta goes down, and Kauffman executes a crucifix on James. Cover - 1 - 2 - Latta makes the save! Casey and Latta whip Kauffman into the ropes, and hit with a double clothesline. They drag Kauffman to his feet and send him for the ride once more, this time both hitting with a knee to the midsection, sending Kauffman through 360 degrees. James and Latta hi-five in the ring, and Latta applies a figure four leglock on Kauffman, while Casey stamps away at Kauffman's upper body.] TD: This is horrible! There's no way Dan Kauffman can survive these odds. He'd better pray that the next man to enter the ring will be one of his allies! [The bell rings for the four-minute mark, and "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley storms the ring. As he clambers through the ropes into the second ring, where his partner is captive to Latta's leglock, he is set about by Blackheart, who peppers him with kicks and punches. Quigley slugs it out with Casey, blocking a right hand, and firing back with a volley of his own. He whips Casey into the corner of the ring and follows him in -- but Casey sticks his leg up, and Quigley runs headlong into Casey's boot. Quigley staggers backwards, and Casey floors him with a big clothesline. Meanwhile, Kauffman manages to turn over onto his stomach, so reversing the leverage of the Figure Four, and Latta soon has to break the hold. Kauffman struggles to his feet, but Casey sets about him once more with kicks and punches. Latta drags himself to his feet and signals for Casey to hold Kauffman. Latta reaches inside his tights for a set of brass knuckles, and charges Kauffman -- who ducks out of the way! Casey goes down, and Kauffman nails Latta in the stomach with his shoulder, grabbing the brass knuckles. Quigley, meanwhile, makes the cover on Casey - 1 - 2 - James kicks out by the narrowest of margins! Big heel pop!] TD: We've got two on two right now -- but we're coming up to the next entry. It looks like Kauffman's team has won this toss... SR: These tosses are fixed, I tell you, Dross. It'll be three on two! [The bell rings; the White Phoenix enters the ring and bounds to the turnbuckles. He leaps and catches the groggy Casey James with a flying sunset flip off the top! Big pop! Cover - 1 - 2 - Latta makes the save! Latta and Chow begin brawling, while Kauffman and Quigley double team Casey, throwing him into the ropes and hitting him with a double boot to the face. Latta gets the upper hand against Chow, and executes a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb on the Phoenix, dropping him hard to the mat. Kauffman attacks Latta, saving Chow, and whips him across the ring, where he is clotheslined by Chris Quigley. Quigley locks on the Quickstriker scorpion deathlock, and Kauffman keeps Casey at bay while the referee goes to check on Latta. Casey and Kauffman brawl in the centre of the ring, and Quigley puts as much pressure as he can on Latta's back. The referee signals for the bell! Big pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Joe Latta has submitted! [The next toss is made, and the Blackheart team wins. Mr. Damage is sent into the fray, and he immediately starts working Quigley over, sticking a thumb in his eye, and forcing him back into the corner with a series of European uppercuts. Mr. Damage mounts the second turnbuckle and begins pounding Quigley's head.] TD: This is awful! Quigley's suffering from concussion, and that kind of impact could injure him very seriously indeed! BL: You could say he's suffering from brain damage! Hehehehe... snort. [Chow approaches Damage from behind, and pulls him away from Quigley, executing a back suplex into the ring. Mr. Damage shifts his weight, and lands on top of Chow, but the Phoenix wraps Damage up with his legs, rolling over backwards once more, so that Mr. Damage is pinned - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Damage has been pinned by the White Phoenix! TD: Well, for all the talk of dissent in the ranks of the "forces of light", they're doing pretty well so far here tonight! SR: It's just bad luck, Dross. Their luck will change, I guarantee it! TD: Casey's in there on his own now... I can't see the captain of the Blackheart team lasting much longer. [Quigley slumps in the corner, looking extremely dazed, while Kauffman and Chow go after Casey, who rolls under the ropes into the other ring. Kauffman suddenly goes down on all fours in the ring as Chow bounces against the ropes, and Chow uses Kauffman as a launch pad to fly over the ropes into the other ring, hitting Casey with a flying clothesline! Huge pop!] TD: What a tremendous move by the White Phoenix! Casey's in a whole world of trouble right now! [The ten-minute mark is reached, and "Badboy" Randy Acorn enters the ring. He immediately makes a beeline for Quigley, who is still recovering in the corner. He snapmares Quigley into the ring, and stamps on his head. He drags Quigley to his feet again, and executes a belly-to-belly suplex before going for the cover - 1 - 2 - Quigley kicks out! Meanwhile, Kauffman, Chow and Casey James go at it in the other ring. Acorn pulls Quigley to his feet again, and whips him into the ropes. He tries to kick Quigley, but Chris grabs his foot. Acorn leaps and hits a well-executed enzuigiri which sends Quigley crashing to the mat, turning through 360 degrees as he does so. Acorn showboats to the crowd before making the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: Vital seconds wasted by the "Badboy" there, Steve, but Quigley's in big trouble. SR: And all because he thought he'd be a hero. Well, Quigley, have I got some news for you -- your team doesn't need a hero, it needs a miracle! [Acorn continues to work on Quigley, and Casey starts firing back in the other ring, knocking Chow and Kauffman down with a double clothesline. The bell rings for the next entrant, and the Sandman enters the cage, immediately attacking Quigley. Together, Acorn and Sandman set him up for a spike piledriver, and drive his head into the mat with tremendous force. Sandman makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! In the other ring, Casey whips Chow into one corner, and charges in after him. Chow tries to leap backwards over Casey as he runs in, and is caught in position for a powerslam. Casey slams him to the mat, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Kauffman makes the save! Casey gets to his feet, and whips Kauffman into the ropes with tremendous force, so much so that Kauffman actually hits his head on the steel cage as he bounces back, and he goes down, clutching his head. James beckons for Acorn to assist him, and the "Badboy" climbs through the ropes into the other ring, where he immediately applies a camel clutch on Kauffman. The referee checks on Dan, but the team captain refuses to submit. Casey continues beating on Chow, and the Sandman whips Quigley into the ropes in the other ring. Quigley ducks under a clothesline, and there is a huge pop as he hits with a flying forearm. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: There's so much action going on here, I can't call it all! SR: Be honest, Dross, you can't call any of it. You have trouble calling the action when a guy's bending down to tie his shoelaces. [The bell rings again, and the Man Of Steel enters the ring. He looks at the fate of Kauffman, still trapped in a camel clutch, and elects instead to go over to where Casey is beating on Chow -- and puts the boot in himself! Huge heel pop!] BL: It seems that Steel is so drunk, he can't remember that this is a team event. SR: Maybe he's hallucinating. Maybe he thinks Chow looks like your mother, Dross. TD: There's no call for that, Steve. I can't imagine what's going through the head of the Man Of Steel right now... [Kauffman struggles to break free from the camel clutch, inching agonisingly towards the ropes. Acorn tries to increase the pressure on the hold, and Kauffman appears to be flagging. Suddenly, however, he has a burst of energy, and pushes himself up onto his knees, thus reducing the leverage of the hold, and drives an elbow into Acorn's midsection. Big pop! Acorn releases the hold, and Kauffman gets to his feet. He scoops Acorn up and bodyslams him, but then falls to the mat himself, clutching the small of his back. Meanwhile, Chris Quigley applies a figure four leglock on the prone Sandman, and sits back, straining his opponent's knee as much as possible.] TD: If the Sandman can just hold on, help could be on its way in a matter of moments. It seems that the Blackheart team has indeed won the toss -- and it's Robski coming into the ring! [Robski charges the ring and nails Quigley with a kick to the head, forcing him to release the leglock, but the English sensation continues into the other ring, where he attacks the Man Of Steel.] TD: Hang on... I'm confused. The Man Of Steel was just helping Casey beat on the Phoenix, and now Robski's attacking the Man Of Steel? I don't get it... SR: Dross, you're the kind of guy who doesn't get chicken jokes. TD: Chicken jokes? SR: You know, like, "why did the chicken cross the road?" TD: Why _did_ the chicken cross the road? SR: To get to the other side. TD: [pause] What? BL: Oh, just watch the match, Timmy, and if you're good, Auntie Becky will buy you an ice cream. TD: Can I have a Billy Shakespeare ice cream bar? BL: We'll see. [The Sandman whips Quigley into the ropes, and both men are knocked to the mat as they each hit with a clothesline. Exhausted, they lie entangled in the centre of the ring, and Quigley stirs first, wrapping his legs round the Sandman's. He stands up, and twists the Sandman over into the Quickstriker! Big pop! The Sandman struggles against the pain for a few seconds, but is ultimately forced to submit. Ding! Ding! Ding! Big pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the Sandman has submitted! [Chow fights to his feet, and chops Casey James with a number of martial arts thrusts, before whipping him across the ring into the opposite corner. He sizes up his opponent, and performs his patented back flip into spinning leg lariat combination, known as the Phoenix Strike. Casey slumps into the ring, and the Phoenix makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Acorn makes the save! Robski throws Steel into the other ring, and follows him through. He ties Steel up in the ropes, and begins stomping away at his midsection. Quigley comes to his partner's aid, hitting Robski from behind with a German suplex - cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Quigley frees Steel, and Steel clotheslines Quigley to the mat! Big heel pop!] SR: Well, that's a pretty good way to express your gratitude to an idiot like Quigley. I'm beginning to like the Man Of Squeal's new attitude. Hey, anybody who beats up on Quigley is a friend of mine. [There is a commotion at the head of the aisle as a figure in street clothes pushes his way down to the ring. Security teams try to keep him back, but the burly fellow pushes them aside.] TD: That's Bibbo Bibowski, the Man Of Steel's trainer and friend! Hang on -- he's entering the ring! [Bibbo dodges the crossfire as he enters the cage and crosses to the ring where Steel is choking Quigley down on the canvas. He grabs Steel by the neck, and appears to be shouting fairly abusive words at him. He throws Steel out of the cage, and proceeds to shove him and throw him back up the aisle, to the confusion and surprise of the crowd, and his teammates.] TD: I guess that ends Steel's involvement in that match... wow, that was weird. I've never seen Bibbo manhandle the Man of Steel like that before. BL: It must be past his bedtime. Still, never mind... at least he's already wearing his pyjamas. [The bell rings again, and Vinny Cappicola enters the ring, and immediately makes a beeline for Casey James. He backs him up into a corner, and yells, "Dis one's for da Don!", nailing him. The fans pop as Casey staggers a few steps into the ring, and then falls on his face. Quigley battles it out with Robski, and whips him into the ropes, clotheslining him on the rebound. He climbs to the top turnbuckle, and stays poised on the top buckle. Robski staggers to his feet, and Quigley launches himself with a flying fist from the top rope. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Robski has been pinned by "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! TD: That's Quigley's third elimination here tonight. For a guy wrestling against doctor's orders, he's doing phenomenally well! [Kauffman fights it out with Acorn in the other ring, and he whips him into the ropes. Acorn grabs hold of the ropes, signalling how clever he is, but he's promptly attacked from behind by Quigley, who holds him in place while Kauffman charges, planting a boot in Acorn's midsection. The "Badboy" is doubled over, and tumbles through the ropes into the second ring. Kauffman follows him through, and hoists him into position for a powerbomb. However, as he lifts Acorn up, he catches Quigley in the face with Acorn's boot, and "Quickstrike" goes down. Kauffman nearly puts Acorn through the mat, and makes the cover, but he is immediately pulled off Acorn by an irate Quigley, who berates Kauffman for his clumsiness. Kauffman shouts back at Quigley, and the two engage in a shoving match. Dan shoves Quigley, who retaliates with a hard right hand. The two squabbling athletes don't see Casey James coming, and as Kauffman knocks Quigley back with a punch of his own, James grabs Quigley's tights, pulling him over backwards and cradling him. The referee counts - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Kauffman merely shrugs his shoulders and turns away.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley has been pinned by Casey "Blackheart" James! [In all the confusion, few notice "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, the last of the Blackheart team, entering the ring. Quigley gets to his feet and again goes after Kauffman, this time demanding to know why he didn't make the save when James blindsided him. Kauffman, clearly irate, shoves Quigley away. A brawl between the two men breaks out, and the referee forces Quigley to leave the ring. Quigley, however, drags Kauffman with him, and the two men continue their dispute outside the ring.] TD: This is extraordinary. We all thought that Kauffman and Quigley would be the most effective partnership in this Wargames match, but it seems that their tempers are getting the better of them. SR: No surprises there, Dross. The ring couldn't hold both of their egos... [A team of officials come down to ringside to escort Quigley away. Meanwhile, in the ring, the sixth member of the "sheriffs" enters the fray. The Subway Psycho heads straight for Casey James, and begins pummelling him with right hands. Dan Kauffman reenters the ring, and is met by a clothesline from Randy Acorn. Chow and Cappicola come to Kauffman's aid, and a brawl between all of them breaks out. There is another commotion at the head of the aisle as Hakiro Matsuoko calmly pushes past the security team and makes his way down to the ring. He shouts abuse in Japanese at Chow from the arena floor, and the Phoenix stops to shout back at his fellow countryman. Hakiro challenges Chow to come out of the cage, and Chow wastes no time in racing out of the cage to attack Matsuoko. The two martial artists brawl on the outside, Chow ramming Hakiro into the cage, and Hakiro whipping Chow into the steel crowd barriers. A security team again descends upon the ring area, and attempts to escort Hakiro back to the locker room area, but Chow continues to sporadically break through the security personnel's human barrier, and the enemies brawl all the way back to the locker rooms and out of sight.] TD: This is chaos, folks! The Blackheart team is down to just its captain, "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, and "Badboy" Randy Acorn, and the "sheriffs" are down to four men, with Quigley, the Man Of Steel, and now Chow, all being taken out of the picture for various reasons, and Billy Shakespeare is just entering the ring! This match has been going for nearly half an hour now, and Kauffman and James are both still in there. [Shakespeare makes a beeline for Acorn, and the two immediately get into a brawl. Acorn, who has been in the ring for a substantial part of the match, cannot compete with the freshness of Shakespeare, who very aggressively pursues Acorn, hitting him with forearm after forearm. He forces Acorn back into the corner, and flips up, performing a flying headscissors and sending Acorn into the ring. Billy jumps to the top turnbuckle and launches himself with a reverse moonsault. The crowd gives a huge pop! Shakespeare goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Sexton drops an elbow on Shakespeare's back to make the save. Sexton is immediately descended upon by Kauffman and friends, but the wind is suitably taken out of Billy's sails to allow the shell-shocked Acorn to get back to his feet and begin working his nemesis over.] TD: Don't forget, folks -- if Randy Acorn pins Shakespeare in the Wargames match tonight, he will become the new IIWF Cruiserweight Champion. It's like a little match within a big match, really. SR: What a wonderfully eloquent way of putting it, Dross. TD: Was that a compliment, Steve? SR: [flatly] No. TD: Oh. [Acorn whips Shakespeare into the ropes, and kicks him in the midsection before executing a swinging neckbreaker. He goes for the cover as the crowd give a big heel pop. The referee counts - 1 - 2 - kickout! Acorn picks Shakespeare up and lifts him onto the top turnbuckle. He climbs up himself behind him, hoisting Shakespeare up so that both men are standing precariously on the top rope. Acorn jostles for the optimum position, but wastes precious seconds, and Shakespeare nails him with an elbow that sends Acorn crashing into the ring. Shakespeare regains his balance, and without even looking, launches himself with his reverse backflip crossbody block as the "Badboy" struggles to his feet. Huge pop as Shakespeare makes the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, "Badboy" Randy Acorn has been pinned by "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [Vinny Cappicola and Dan Kauffman whip Billy Sexton into the ropes and nail him with a double spinebuster. Kauffman makes the cover, while Cappicola guards from Casey James - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: "Painbringer" Billy Sexton has been pinned by Dan Kauffman! [The pop for the previous two sudden pinfalls has barely died down when the Subway Psycho snapmares Casey James near the corner and climbs to the top rope. Cappicola drops an elbow on James and rolls out of the way as the Psycho launches himself with his flipping legdrop! He makes the cover, and the crowd chant along - "1! 2! 3!" Massive pop as the bell rings and Kauffman, Psycho, Cappicola and Shakespeare celebrate in the ring!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners: Dan Kauffman, the Subway Psycho, Vinny Cappicola, and the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [The Subway Psycho is first to leave the ring, refusing to shake the hands of his teammates, and heads back up the aisle. Kauffman follows not far behind, looking not as elated as somebody who has just scored a famous victory normally looks. Somewhat frustrated by the attitudes of their teammates, Shakespeare and Cappicola bring up the rear, accepting the cheers of the crowd and hi-fiving the fans.] TD: In the blink of an eye, it's over! What an unbelievable match that was... And the "sheriffs" triumphed, as I always knew they would! SR: Maybe they've won the smaller battle, but there's far more than a single match at stake here, Dross. What about Quigley's childish squabble with Kauffman? What about the madcap Man Of Squeal? What about Chow walking out on his teammates? TD: Granted, there are questions that need answering, but... BL: [interrupting] The so-called "forces of light" are in disarray, Timmy. That much can't be denied -- these little idiots are too concerned with their own egos to see the bigger picture. TD: And what would that bigger picture be? SR: It's simple, Dross: night follows day. Where light goes, darkness inevitably follows, and the shadows are lengthening right now. TD: I have no idea what you're talking about, Steve. Nevertheless, I'm sure these men will be able to sort out their differences. After all, if they're too busy fighting amongst themselves, how can they hope to take on the combined forces of the Syndicate, Senate and the Posse? BL: He's finally catching on! TD: Okay, folks! We're now just moments away from tonight's final encounter -- the much-anticipated Casket Match between IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Deathbringer and newly-designated #1 contender, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. Of course, this match was originally scheduled to feature the Outlaw J.W. Hardin and not Verhoeven, but Hardin was injured on Wednesday Night, and yesterday, live on the special Road to Ring Wars II report, we learned that Otto Verhoeven, as #1 contender, had stepped into the breach. What an opportunity Verhoeven has here tonight, you two. SR: Apparently, Yawnbringer has never lost a Casket Match. TD: That's right, Steve. SR: There's a first time for everything, Dross. I truly believe that Verhoeven, next to Hardin himself, is the most dangerous man in the IIWF, and there's no way that Deathbringer will have had enough time to prepare for an entirely new opponent in just over twenty-four hours. My money's on Verhoeven all the way. BL: I have to agree with Steve, Timmy, although of course the argument works equally the other way. Verhoeven was expecting to be wrestling in the Wargames match tonight, and now he finds himself catapulted into a Casket Match for the World title. However, there is no colder and more calculating individual in the IIWF than the Butcher, and I'm sure we're going to see a great match here. TD: Well, let's take a look at the two combatants here in this huge main event. [Cut to footage of Otto Verhoeven decimating various opponents in the ring.] The challenger is a big man who almost matches Deathbringer in stature, and almost certainly matches him in power. Thanks to the distracting nature of his fiancee, Nurse Heidi, Verhoeven usually has an automatic advantage over opponents, but I can't see Deathbringer being charmed by Heidi's feminine wiles... SR: [interrupting] I guess that will prove once and for all whether the guy's really dead or not. Only a dead man couldn't be charmed by Heidi. [sighs] BL: That little tramp. TD: Excuse me, you two. Verhoeven, like Deathbringer, is relentless in the ring, battering his opponents with power moves, and he's certainly not afraid to openly flout the rules to get ahead. [Cut to footage of the IIWF Champion in some recent matches.] Deathbringer, by contrast, almost without exception wrestles a clean match, and that could be to his disadvantage against Verhoeven. However, Deathbringer has the support of every fan here in the Hoosier Dome, and that's got to be a psychological advantage. Deathbringer also has a great deal more experience in this type of match than the challenger. Both men have win/loss records that are amongst the best in the IIWF. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] I can't pick a winner here, folks. I understand Larry Morton is backstage in the locker room of the challenger. Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton, who is standing outside Otto Verhoeven's locker room.] LM: Thanks, Tim. I don't know whether Verhoeven is going to be in any mood for interviews so close to this huge main event, but we'll see... [He knocks, and Nurse Heidi opens the door. Morton steps inside with the camera crew. Nurse Heidi is wearing a special, golden dress, but she is pale and her eyes are bloodshot. Otto is doing push-ups.] OV: 243...[snort]...244... LM: Ahem, Herr Verhoeven, do you have time for a short interview? OV: [standing up] Naturlich, Herr Morton. LM: Thank you. First of all, what were your feelings when President Spreadbury asked you to replace the Outlaw in the casket match tonight? OV: I was shocked. I had not suspected that Tiger Claw's attack was this serious. But I am the only acceptable replacement. I could now talk about destiny, about fate, about good versus evil, about life and death. Instead, I prefer to see my success and the fight tonight as the result of hard work and determination, and no madman who thinks he is the grim reaper himself will stand in my way and stop me from grabbing the ultimate prize, the IIWF World Heavyweight title. I will defeat Deathbringer to bring glory and honor to Germany and prove that athletes from that great nation are the best in the world today. LM: I see, so you are very optimis... NH: [with tears in her eyes] Now vait a moment. Liebling, you may not step into the ring vith that...that thing. OV: Heidi, please, not aga.. NH: Ja, again. Vat if he really is connected to supernatural forces, vat if he really has power over life and death? OV: Oh, come on, how many of these zombie-gravedigger-types did we encounter in the past years? How did they end? On the floor, with their immortal bones broken and their cconfidence gone. A spooky name and lighting tricks do not help you versus the Butcher. NH: But this time... it is different. He is different. And it's a casket match. Oh my god, he vill try to put you into a damn coffin. OV: [with a weak smile] Heidi, you do not need to be afraid. That bogey man can stand up again and again from my attacks, I will just send him crashing down again, until every man in the world can see that Deathbringer is far from being invulnerable or invincible, until he screams in pain for mercy, until I slam the lid of the coffin in his face! NH: And you are not prepared... we trained for a group match...for War Games... OV: I am prepared. I have waited for a shot at a World championship here in the USA for months, and trust, once I get the opportunity, I will not let it pass. The Butcher is ready for Deathbringer and the casket match... WELCOME TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE! [Verhoeven glares at Morton, who backs out of the locker room as Heidi continues to implore her fiance not to wrestle.] LM: Well, Tim, as you can see, Verhoeven is ready, but perhaps Nurse Heidi is not! Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] SR: Let's stop talking about it, and get on with it! TD: The ring staff have finished disassembling the extra ring and steel cage, and we're ready for tonight's main event! Let's go back up to Sparkplug Lee! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CASKET MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Deathbringer vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven ------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's final match! The following Casket Rules Match is for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship! The rules of this match are as follows: there will be no countouts, no disqualifications, no pinfalls, and no submissions. The only way to win this match is to force your opponent into the casket at ringside, and shut the lid. Introducing first, the challenger: hailing from Essen, Germany, and weighing in at 340lbs, accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, here is Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [Massive heel pop as Verhoeven appears at the head of the aisle, led by Nurse Heidi, stunning in an even tighter golden nurse's outfit than usual. Verhoeven walks coolly to the ring, looking out into the sea of fans' faces and sneering at them. He takes his time in climbing the ringsteps and stepping into the ring. Nurse Heidi fusses about him, but Verhoeven merely stares up at the head of the walkway as Sparkplug Lee speaks again:] RA: And introducing the champion: [the fans roar in approval as the lights drop and the thumping bass of "The Reaper" kick in over the PA] hailing from the Dark Side, and weighing in at 324lbs, here is the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion: Deathbringer! [The crowd continues to pop as a red glow illuminates the aisle, revealing a huge black casket being pushed to the ring by a hooded druid, Deathbringer walking behind, the IIWF World belt glimmering around his waist. The sinister procession makes its way down to ringside, at which point Deathbringer climbs the ringsteps, and the lights are raised once more. Deathbringer removes his cowl, and stares across the ring at Verhoeven. He steps between the ropes and removes his title belt, handing it to the referee, all the time keeping his eyes fixed on Verhoeven.] TD: Just look at the intensity here... Deathbringer's that little bit taller than Verhoeven, but the Butcher is bulkier, and possibly more powerful. SR: And he's determined, Dross. [The two men walk into the centre of the ring and step up for a staredown. Deathbringer's mask hides his face, but he unblinkingly looks with his glowing eyes at his opponent, who stares back, unafraid. Verhoeven mutters something at Deathbringer which the microphones don't pick up, and then turns his back on the champion. He begins to walk away, but Deathbringer puts a hand on Verhoeven's shoulder, and spins him around. Verhoeven labels 'Bringer with a big right hand, and the champion staggers back. A slugfest erupts in the ring, and Verhoeven whips Deathbringer into the ropes. The champion ducks under a clothesline, and fires back with a clothesline of his own. Verhoeven goes down. Big pop! Deathbringer attempts an elbow drop, but the Butcher rolls out of the way, and is quickly to his feet, stomping away at Deathbringer. He drops to his knees and chokes the champion. Much to Verhoeven's surprise, 'Bringer thrusts one of his arms upwards, and chokes the Butcher right back. Verhoeven's eyes boggle as he struggles to breath. He releases his grip on 'Bringer's neck, and the big man fights to his feet, tightening the choke on Verhoeven.] TD: Verhoeven didn't reckon with 'Bringer's incredible pain threshold. He could be in trouble early on right here. [The champion executes a chokeslam on Verhoeven to a huge pop! He signals to the druid to open the casket, and rolls Verhoeven towards the ropes. However, Verhoeven nails Deathbringer in the lower abdomen, and fights to his feet in a hurry. He chokes 'Bringer against the ropes, and rakes his face. 'Bringer staggers backwards into the centre of the ring, and Verhoeven launches with a high-impact lariat, nearly taking the champion's head off. Verhoeven drags 'Bringer to his feet, hitting him at every opportunity with his trademark body shots, pummelling the big man's rib and kidney areas, before whipping the champ into the ropes, and kicking him in the midsection on the rebound. Verhoeven executes a powerbomb on the big man! Huge heel pop! Verhoeven showboats to the crowd, before stomping Deathbringer again, and kicking him towards the ropes. He yells at the druid to open the casket, and the druid complies. Verhoeven rolls 'Bringer into the casket, and slams the lid -- but 'Bringer's hand shoots up and holds the lid open. Huge pop! Verhoeven lifts the lid a little, and then slams it again, trying to smash the champion's fingers, but the dead man fights to his feet so that he is standing just below the level of the apron, where Verhoeven stands. The Butcher nails 'Bringer with a thrust to the neck, and Verhoeven tumbles through the ropes back into the ring. Deathbringer climbs onto the apron, and is about to step through the ropes when the Teutonic terror gets back to his feet, and suplexes the champion back into the ring. Big heel pop!] TD: What action we're seeing here, folks! Deathbringer's got his work cut out, but he just won't stay down. SR: At least this is more interesting than the Pope's sex life. BL: Hehehehehe.... snort. [Verhoeven goes to the second turnbuckle and drops a knee on Deathbringer. He drags Deathbringer to his feet, and signals for the Meat Hook. He hauls the big man up onto the buckles, and is about to execute the devastating chokeslam when the champion suddenly sparks back into life, and begins firing away at Verhoeven with hard right hands. The Butcher staggers into the ring, and 'Bringer launches himself with a clothesline from the second buckle, hitting the Butcher with tremendous force. The champion picks himself up and drags Verhoeven to his feet, hoisting him up into position for the Tombstone. Huge pop!] TD: Here it comes! If Deathbringer hits the Tombstone, this match is over for sure! [Deathbringer turns, Verhoeven still on his shoulder, and notices a commotion at the head of the aisle. Spotlights pick out the forms of Tiger Claw and Cadaver fighting to get past the Archangel.] TD: Whoa! What's going on up there?! SR: That big pansy that you call the champion must have enlisted the help of that other big pansy that you call the Archangel. TD: Er... right. And Cadaver _is_ with Tiger Claw! He betrayed Hardin pretty quickly, as Deathbringer said he would, but why would Tiger Claw trust Cadaver now? BL: Unless this was all a set-up by the Syndicate to start with, Dross. Perhaps it was Brian Lau who is responsible for Cadaver's sudden reappearance, and not Hardin... TD: I don't know what's going on here, fa -- wow! Cadaver just nailed Archangel with the Death Drop onto the concrete floor up there! [Big heel pop as Claw and Cadaver step over the now immobile form of the Archangel and proceed down the walkway to the ring. Meanwhile, Deathbringer has dropped Verhoeven, and stands at the ropes, watching the intruders make their way down to ringside. Tiger Claw yells insults up at the IIWF Champion, and 'Bringer motions for him to bring it on. Claw starts to climb the ringsteps, but the druid suddenly leaps into action, and pulls Claw down. He rams the Intercontinental Champion's head into the ring apron, and a slugfest on the outside begins. Claw hits the druid with a hard right hand, and pulls his hood down to reveal -- the Sandman! Claw takes a step backwards, shocked, and the Sandman nails him with a hard clothesline. Big pop!] TD: Wha -- ?! Who?! SR: The Sandman sold out to that big goon! What a crock of sh... TD: [interrupting] Have the Dark Knights seen the light? Has the Sandman joined forces with Deathbringer? BL: If that's the case, then the light may very well be on, but as far as the Dark Knights are concerned, nobody's home. TD: And Verhoeven is dragging himself to his feet at last! [Cadaver stalks round to assist Tiger Claw in the beating he is sustaining from the Sandman, and Deathbringer watches the battle on the outside. He finally turns back into the ring, and is levelled by a big clothesline from the opportunistic Verhoeven. Big heel pop! The Butcher lays into the downed champion with a flurry of kicks and punches, while Cadaver gets the better of the Sandman on the outside. He turns to climb up onto the apron, but his progress is impeded by a hand which shoots out from under the ring and grabs his ankle. Cadaver looks down, and sees the Prince of Darkness emerging out from under the ring. The PoD and Cadaver begin brawling, and Tiger Claw assists in beating down the Dark Knight.] TD: This is chaos! The Dark Knights have certainly turned on the Syndicate, but have they joined Deathbringer's forces? SR: The saying goes: "You're either with me, or you're against me." Right now, all that matters is that the Dark Knights are traitors, and they'll be dealt with the same way everybody else who gets in the way of the Syndicate is dealt with... BL: Don't forget that the Prince of Darkness gets his rematch against the Intercontinental Champion next weekend in a cage match... TD: Indeed. But right now, there's a fight for survival going on right in front of us! [Archangel lumbers down the aisle to assist the Sandman and the PoD, while in the ring, Verhoeven nails Deathbringer with a big powerslam. Security personnel descend on the ringside area, and surround the enclosure. A couple of officials jog down to ringside to try and contain the brawl by the casket. In the ring, Verhoeven attempts an elbow drop on Deathbringer, but the champion suddenly sits up, and Verhoeven crashes to the canvas! Big pop as Deathbringer gets to his feet and stalks over to Verhoeven, dragging him to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. He executes his Scythe flying clothesline, and Verhoeven goes down hard. Big pop! On the outside, the officials fail to contain the brawl. One of them is knocked into the steel crowd barriers by a wayward swing from Archangel, while the other tries, and fails, to hold Tiger Claw away from the Prince of Darkness. Big pop as Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola fly down the aisle, making a beeline for the IC champ.] TD: The cavalry has arrived! Truth and honour will be served! SR: You're kidding, Dross. Soup will be served through a straw, more like, when Cadaver and Claw are done with those two Italian idiots. [The brawl escalates on the outside, and some of the crowd begin to stand to try and keep their eye on everything that is going on. In the ring, Deathbringer rolls Verhoeven towards the ropes, and has to open the casket himself. He rolls Verhoeven under the ropes, but the Butcher again seems to rescue himself from the jaws of defeat, leaping to his feet. Nurse Heidi, meanwhile, screams in terror that her fiance might be plunged into the casket. Verhoeven fights to his feet, slamming the casket shut, and then grabs Deathbringer. Verhoeven stands on the apron, and Deathbringer stands inside the ring. The Butcher suplexes 'Bringer out of the ring and onto the casket, cracking the lid. 'Bringer tumbles from the casket to the outside, and Verhoeven launches himself with an elbow drop onto the felled champion to a big heel pop!] TD: All the action's going down outside the ring now! Verhoeven needs to get Deathbringer back inside the squared circle if he's going to get him into that casket. SR: Hang on, Dross! Look who's coming to the ring! [Big heel pop as Casey James, Hakiro Matsuoko, the Arabian Knights and "Painbringer" Billy Sexton all run down the aisle in succession to join in the brawl. The ringside enclosure steadily fills up with more and more wrestlers. Verhoeven, meanwhile, picks Deathbringer up as if he were about to execute a backbreaker, but instead repeatedly rams the champion's back into the steel ringpost before rolling him back into the ring. The Butcher steps through the ropes, and flexes his muscles to the hostile crowd, unaware that once again, Deathbringer had got back to his feet. He turns and nearly jumps out of the ring in surprise. Another slugfest erupts between the two big men in the ring, while Chris Quigley, the Subway Psycho and Billy Shakespeare all dash down to ringside.] TD: There are at least a dozen wrestlers out here now, folks. This is madness. This match should be stopped! SR: Why? So far, nobody's interfered in the match itself, and besides, there's no disqualifications in Casket Matches. [The High Plains Drifters are next to come down to ringside, closely followed by a further security team, who also fruitlessly attempt to keep the brawl under control. The Atomic Destroyers and the Hangman appear, along with Mr. Damage, Magus and the "Badboy" Randy Acorn. The crowd cheer as the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and the White Phoenix run to join the fray.] TD: There are wrestlers practically -- oof! -- on top of us here at the broadcast table! BL: Yeah, great, isn't it? SR: Dross, I can't count how many bodies there are down here now, but this is getting ridiculous. We've got to bail out and get out of here. You coming, Becky? [Roberts and Becky ditch their headsets and step over the steel barriers into the crowd, retreating to a safe distance.] TD: Don't worry, folks, I'm still -- aargh -- here. Deathbringer and Verhoeven are still going at it in there... we must have practically -- eek -- the entire IIWF roster down here! [as a flailing arm hits him] Hey, watch it! [Amidst all the confusion, the arrival of a figure coming down through the crowd causes only a small buzz as the fans who part to let him proceed realise exactly what's happening. In fact, the figure manages to make it into the ring before the crowd really notice his arrival.] TD: Who is that in there...? What?! It's Hardin! It's the Outlaw! His arm wasn't broken at all! This is all a set-up! I can't believe this! It's Hardin! [Hardin brings a steel chair into the ring with him, and clobbers Deathbringer from behind with it. Huge heel pop! Most of the crowd are by now on their feet. Hardin lays the dented chair on the canvas, and drops Deathbringer with the Cattle Buster DDT onto the chair. Huge heel pop! Hardin drags the champion to his feet, and Verhoeven labels him repeatedly with the chair. Hardin dumps Deathbringer on the canvas, and goes over to the ropes. He opens the casket, and together, he and Verhoeven dump his motionless form into the coffin, slamming the lid. The bell that rings to signal the end of the match is hardly heard as the crowd explodes with a roar of disapproval.] TD: No! Deathbringer has been shut in that casket! It's all over! We've got a new IIWF World Heav -- aargh! [Dross is cut short as fans pour over the crowd barriers behind him, despite the efforts of security personnel to hold them back. The broadcast equipment is picked up to be used as weapons before long, and the uncontrollable brawl quickly degenerates into a riot. Hardin and Verhoeven shake hands in the ring, before the fans start hurling objects at the Outlaw and the new champion. Fans try to attack the evil duo stood in the ring, but they are beaten down by Hardin and the Butcher. All over the arena, disquiet breaks out and fans begin arguing and fighting. Cut to a shot from the Slim Slam blimp, which shows chairs being torn up and thrown around as fans, officials and wrestlers brawl inside the ring, around the ring, and even in the seating. The screen flickers, and suddenly cuts out to black.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | Send mail to univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk with the subject lines: | | "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the | | rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers | +------------------------------------+---------------------------------+ | URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+