[Fast-paced music is matched by equally fast-paced clips of IIWF action. As the final guitar chord is drawn out, Deathbringer chokeslams El Super Gecko and the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - October 18, 1996 ================================================= [Cut to an aerial studio shot of a broadcast station in front of a huge poster of a IIWF ring. Two of the fed's stars battle it out in the photo. A monitor is set into the backdrop. Tim Dross sits at the anchor desk, adjusting his microphone and ear piece. Cut to a tight shot of Dross.] TD: Good evening everyone, and welcome to "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm your host Tim Dross, and tonight we'll be bringing you up to date on what's happening in the IIWF from the mouths of the wrestlers themselves -- including that interview with Outlaw J.W. Hardin, which we were forced to hold from Tuesday's show because of time constraints. [Switch the camera angle to get a different shot of Dross. He swivels his chair to accommodate the shot.] TD: First up, a breaking story. We've had several phone calls about the status of "The Enigma" Takezo Musashi since Ring Wars II. Not only did Musashi fall 20 feet from a log into the ring, but he was seemingly cheated out of a draw when IIWF President Dan Spreadbury ruled Hakiro Matsuoko the victor. Well, Musashi has decided to break his silence and invited my colleague Larry Morton to his home for an exclusive interview. Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton standing in a traditional Japanese room, simple and functional, yet elegant. The walls are decorated with oriental murals and cris-crossing samurai swords. Takezo Musashi sits cross-legged on the straw-mat floor. He appears to be meditating]. LM: Thanks Tim! Right now I am in the home of "The Enigma" Takezo Musashi. We are attempting to find out what the latest scoop is from the ever mysterious "Enigma." Right now, he doesn't look too talkative, however. TM: Welcome, Larry, to my humble abode. Please, take a seat. [There are no chairs in the room and Larry looks uncomfortable as he attempts to sit cross-legged on the floor opposite Musashi]. LM: We haven't seen much of you around the IIWF offices lately, Enigma. What's on your mind? TM: Well Larry, it has been a busy few weeks in the IIWF, and I needed a few days off to collect my thoughts. There are many matters worthy of my concern at this present time. LM: Are you talking about the controversial ending to your match with Hakiro Matsuoko at Ring Wars II? TM: That is the least of my concerns at the moment Larry, but since you brought the matter up, I will discuss it. There is nobody in the IIWF right now who can honestly say that the Angel of the Rising Sun beat me fair and square. But I hold no grudge against Matsuoko for this, for it is clear to me that there has been some wheeling and dealing behind the scenes between Brian Lau and President Daniel Spreadbury. LM: Wait a minute, you're not another wrestler accusing Mr. Spreadbury of corruption are you? Does anyone have any faith left in our esteemed President? TM: Well Larry, I can only judge matters based on what I have observed, and I saw Spreadbury involved in some very questionable activities during Ring Wars II. Mr. President, it is up to you to prove me and every other warrior in the IIWF wrong about you. All we ask from a President is a fair chance, nothing more. As it stands the IIWF is descending into anarchy, the forces of honor are splintered, the factions of evil are swarming. If the President does not attempt to rectify the situation, then we must take matters into our own hands. LM: You mentioned that you hold no grudge against Hakiro Matsuoko for the controversial decision at Ring Wars, does this mean that you do not want a rematch? TM: Right now, the Enigma feels he must move on to other matters. Matsuoko and I have had our battles, and neither man has fully proven his dominance. We have taken each other to the limits of our hearts and minds, few warriors can claim to have fought such colossal battles. However I have no wish for my career to become nothing more than an ongoing war with Hakiro, I have other goals to pursue, and other foes to conquer. I have a feeling you may not have seen the last battle between Matsuoko and myself, it might not be for some time, it may even happen in another league, perhaps it will happen in another lifetime, but we are destined to clash again. LM: You sound very sure of that Enigma, but what are these other concerns you mention? [The Enigma stands and walks over to the door, he beckons Larry over] TM: Come, and I shall show you something. [Musashi and Morton step out onto the back porch, the camera pans around to show a rather gruesome sight. Three beheaded roosters lay scattered around the porch with pools of blood everywhere.] LM: [Gagging and recoiling in horror] What the hell.... ? TM: What the hell, indeed. It would seem that the servants of hell are concerned with the Enigma's fate, they are hell-bent on making it a dreadful one. Last night I was disturbed by uneasy dreams of blood and death, I awoke in a sweat to hear sounds of scuffling outside, when I came out here to investigate this was the sight before my eyes. It appears that somebody is trying to put a curse on me. LM: But who the hell would do such a thing? They would have to be some kind of perverted sicko. This goes outside the boundaries of normal pro wrestling! TM: It is obviously somebody who has been driven insane by a desire to destroy the Enigma. Perhaps it is somebody who resents my spiritual beliefs. One thing is certain, this does not look like a mere spiteful prank, for I have found something else. [The Enigma shows Larry Morton a hideous looking figurine, it appears to be carved out of husks of dried corn and straw. It depicts a mad, grinning face with twisted limbs] TM: I found this hanging over my bed. It represents Kimoto, ancient Japanese God of evil. Kimoto is opposed to every facet I stand for: honor, glory and courage. Whoever did this must know a lot about me, and know a lot about spiritual matters. I hope that this servant of evil is not a wrestler of the IIWF, for then not only am I in danger, but they would seek to drown the whole of the IIWF in rivers of blood. Now if you will excuse me, Larry, I must meditate and cleanse my spirit of this outrage. [Musashi bows his head and walks out of the shot.] LM: [Turns to the camera, he is visibly shaken] B-b-back to you, Tim. [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio] TD: A disturbing sight, indeed. The way things have been going in the IIWF, the last thing we need is more bloodshed. Fans, we will keep you up to date on this story as it develops and we wish the best for Takezo Musashi. As you just heard, "The Enigma" is only the latest wrestler to demand answers from IIWF President Dan Spreadbury. The top man in the federation has been under a spotlight of scrutiny because of recent decisions, including some very controversial ones at Ring Wars II. I contacted the IIWF President's office this week and was told that Mr. Spreadbury would address these concerns LIVE tomorrow at IIWF Saturday Night. Like the great fans in the IIWF, I look forward to that interview. Right now, let's take you back to a press conference held Wednesday. Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi, after a few days of rest and relaxation, seemed to have recovered from their hectic escape from The Hoosier Dome with the IIWF World Championship belt. Both met the media for the first time since that fateful night at the following press conference: [The scene: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi are standing on a podium in front of a dozen reporters. Verhoeven is wearing a tuxedo and Heidi an elegant, expensive looking evening dress. She carries the IIWF World title.] OV: Ladies and gentlemen from the press, before I answer your questions let me make a short statement: I dedicate this great victory to all my fans in Germany and to my beloved fiancee. [Heidi blushes] This would have never been possible without you, liebling. In Ordnung, let's start this thing. REP1: Mis... Herr Verhoeven what do you say about Chris Quigley's accusations that you did not earn the title shot because of J.W. Hardin's interference in the battle royal? OV: Quigley is a whiner. He is here not as successful as in his hillbilly federations and looks for excuses. All I can say that I was the last man standing in the Battle Lines battle royal, which had the purpose to nominate the Number One contender for the World Heavyweight champion. The IIWF Executive Committee had no choice but to choose me as the Outlaw's replacement. REP2: What are your comments about the rumor of IIWF President Dan Spreadbury being on Brian Lau's payroll? OV: [smiling] I have no knowledge about The Syndicate's connection to President Spreadbury, but I know Herr Lau's skills, so I wouldn't rule out the possibility of corruption. REP3: Who are, in your opinion, the main contenders and the greatest threats to your title reign? OV: Hm, nun, there is of course J.W.Hardin, but I've heard rumors that could negate that threat. Lord Byron, another ally of mine and a man I have tremendous respect for, is a great athlete and could give me a hard match. Equally dangerous are Dan Kauffman or Tiger Claw. The Subway Psycho has already felt my strength, so I do not believe he wants to confront the Butcher again. REP4: And...Deathbringer? [Heidi looks scared as the name is mentioned. Otto turns around to whisper something to her, which seems to calm her a little.] REP2: Why is your fiancee so afraid of the former champion? OV: I do not know why anybody would be intimidated by that zombie wannabe, but he will pay for scaring my girl! REP5: What do you think about Deathbringer's promise to defeat the "forces of evil" in the IIWF and his recruiting of allies? OV: Allies? You call the Dark Knights and Archangel allies? Deathbringer, I do not know what you were thinking when you befriended those imbeciles, but if your crusade includes taking the title away from me, forget it, my mentally disturbed friend. I found it surprising how fast the Dark Knights, who prayed to evil entities, joined the former champion. They seem to be rather desperate about their stable falling apart. REP5: But don't you think Deathbringer could succeed? OV: Ah, come on. The Prince of Darkness will have to leave the IIWF after Tiger Claw annihilates him and I hereby make it my personal mission to dismantle the rest of that goody-goody group. REP6: What do you mean? OV: I challenge them all. I will take them apart one after another, first the Archangel, then Sandman, and finally I will silence the big madman once and for all. I will humiliate Deathbringer one more time, to prove my dominance over the IIWF and to stop this Satan-and-hell worshipping farce! I am the champion and the IIWF has become my SLAUGHTERHOUSE, filled with VICTIMS! This is the end of the conference. [Otto and Heidi turn to leave and ignore the questions of the shouting reporters. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Otto Verhoeven vows to take on all challengers. His should certainly be a very interesting reign as champion. Whether you love him or hate him, Verhoeven has certainly made an impact since joining the IIWF and there is no denying that he is a brutal man. I have a feeling that it may be difficult for a mat wrestler to pin Verhoeven and win the crown, but a brawler could meet "The Butcher" on his own terms. I may be wrong about that, but time will tell. Aside from Verhoeven, there is another terror roaming the streets right now. I'm speaking, of course, about Cadaver -- one of the most sinister individuals ever to step into the squared circle. Not only does he hurt his opponents physically, but he crawls into their minds, as well. His latest victim seems to be Dan Kauffman, who told us last week from Hell's Abyss that he will overcome this phobia and destroy Cadaver. But will he? I think the following footage, which sent chills up my spine, has to raise questions about what Dan Kauffman may be facing. Take a look: [The dull, moonless sky casts few shadows over the scene: in the background, a silent and deserted sports ground, and in the foreground, a split-level home, equally still. The uneasy tranquility is broken by a quiet whistling of the wind. The shot fades through to a darkened stairway with six wooden steps, a closed door at the bottom. The door slowly opens, and the shot proceeds into a dark room with only a high window offering any illumination. Glinting dully against the far wall under the window in the grey-blue of midnight is a trophy case. To one side, the shadow of a punching bag can be discerned, and a wrestling ring is set up in the center of the room. There is silence for a few moments, until startlingly one shadow begins to move. The figure of Cadaver is cast in the same dim, distorting shadows as the rest of the room as he steps in front of the ring. His low, rasping voice cuts through the breathless silence like a knife:] CADAVER: Everybody wants to look the other way when something wicked this way comes... [Cadaver inhales deeply, his rasping breath catching in his throat] So this is Hell's Abyss? This is the place where the dreams and ambitions are hewn from the lifeblood of the mortal soul of Dan Kauffman. This is the place where he fights in vain for his place among the immortal, where he designs his achievements... and from this moment, this will be the place where his fear, his sheer terror, will rise from the knot in his stomach and throttle him. For this is now the domain of the Cadaver. Kauffman, you struggle against the rising tide of your own destiny. You feel, deep inside, that where you once had a soul, where you once harbored desires, where you fostered love, there is now only a void colder than the blackest of nights, and deeper than the most yawning of chasms... You cling like a fool to the hope that you will be able to reclaim that essence, that vitality... but with every moment that passes, the Cadaver is walking in your footsteps, and with every step you take, the Cadaver is gaining on you. Something wicked has arrived in Hell's Abyss, Kauffman. You try to look the other way, but you are drawn inexorably into the yawning chasm of eternity. You cannot pull yourself away. You have felt once the impotence of your mortality. You have felt once the hopelessness of the mortal's plight. You're dead already, Kauffman. You're dead. Your lifeblood is ebbing away, little by little. That which has come from nothing must also return to nothing... Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust... [Cadaver utters a low, hollow laugh, and drops back into the stillness of the shadows. An uneasy tranquility falls over the scene once more as it comes to rest on the wrestling ring. The silence is broken intermittently by the sound of droplets of liquid hitting the canvas. The camera slowly moves to the canvas, and even in the darkness, it is apparent that the liquid is a ruby red color... the color of blood. Fade.] TD: Fans, I know I'm not alone when I say that I shall double-check the locks on my doors and check under every bed tonight when I get home. I don't know if Dan Kauffman knows who -- or what -- he is facing in Cadaver, but I have to worry because his mind is already filled with thoughts of Chris Quigley and others. But when Cadaver locked Kauffman in that casket, part of "Flash" stayed there and he has not been the same since. Tonight... I will say an extra prayer for Dan Kauffman. Now I'd like to take a moment to reflect on the career of one J.W. Hardin, the man we came to know as The Outlaw. I've come across some unsavory characters in my time, but Hardin is truly a man without a conscience. Yes, he won the IIWF World Championship at Coronation Clash, but his back-stabbing ways and cruel nature will forever in my mind tarnish the image of the competitor known as Outlaw J.W. Hardin. That said, let's take you now to the taped interview with Larry Morton, Becky LaRue, and Outlaw J.W. Hardin from Tuesday night: [Cut to a shot outside Outlaw Josey Wales' ranch. Outlaw J.W. Hardin leans against a corral fence and lights a cigar as Larry Morton begins the interview.] LM: Outlaw J.W. Hardin, I think everyone in the IIWF deserves some answers from you two following... JWH: Shut up, Morton! I don't think anyone in the IIWF deserves anything except a good ass-whipping and that's exactly what they got Saturday night. Now, if there are questions to be asked, Miss LaRue had better be the one asking them. [Becky is heard laughing at Larry as her microphone is turned up.] BL: I have to apologize for my "colleague," Mr. Hardin. But then, I have to apologize for him quite a bit. Now then, I think we'd like to know something about this master plan that was so skillfully executed at Ring Wars II. JWH: No problem, sweetie. But first, I have a little announcement about a plan that precipitated that action. Today I am ending my association with the IIWF and.... LM: [jumping back into the conversation] Ending? What do you mean you're ending your.... JWH: Becky, could you shut Larry up for me? BL: No problem. [There is a slight delay before Morton's scream is heard in the background.] Now then, please continue. JWH: As I was saying, I've already been in contact with IIWF officials about terminating my contract. Following the events of the last week, they were more than happy to oblige. So effective today, it's "so long IIWF. Been nice to know you!" BL: What are you planning to do now. Are you gonna retire to the desert? JWH: Not yet. You see, after Midsummer Madness I _did_ search for Cadaver. During the next few weeks, he told me about all the money to be made in the European feds -- especially for an American cowboy. It seems they've got nothing but pretty boys and Prince Charles lookalikes over there. Since I've accomplished everything I could want in the IIWF, I thought "what the hell." But I already had signed the casket match with Deathbringer at Ring Wars II. Now I could have kicked Deathbringer's ass and won the belt again, but then I'd have to defend it and I'd never get out of here. So I enlisted the help of that brilliant mind Brian Lau and we worked out the plan to have Tiger Claw seemingly injure me. BL: Is the Punster joining your plan, too? JWH: Naw, that little geek could be mistaken for ground beef right now. The Partners in Crime busted him up pretty good. He's history. Cadaver wanted to finish him off in Denver, but that would have tipped our hand. BL: Did you have any say in Otto Verhoeven getting into the casket match. JWH: Only in helping him win the Battle Lines Battle Royal. It wasn't hard to predict how the IIWF Executive Committee would rule. After that, it was simply a matter of making sure he walked out of The Hoosier Dome with the title. I think Otto is the logical heir to the throne and now he wears the IIWF world belt. I always knew Deathbringer was a pretender, a phony, a fraud. He's all talk and he probably believes half of what he says. Wrestlers like him are a dime a dozen, but Otto Verhoeven is the real deal. Josey Wales will make sure my buddies The High Plains Drifters win the tag belts back, and the heel alliance is still strong. This is the right time to go. BL: So you're leaving the IIWF for good? JWH: Now I didn't say that. There's a lot of money to be made in Europe and I want to get some of it. Besides, I've got nothing left to do here. That little jerk Billy Shakespeare could tell you about Marc Antony's funeral speech in "Julius Caesar:" The evil that men do lives after them.... My evil will live on in the IIWF long after I'm gone. If it doesn't... hell, I may have to come back and remind some people about the way this sport should be run. BL: And the front office is just letting you go? JWH: Aw, some new VP started talking about contracts and lawyers, but I threatened to break his back and hide his pain killers. The whole IIWF Executive Committee was very accommodating after that. BL: Well, good luck to you. JWH: Thanks Becky. Oh yeah... I'll never forget Vegas. I haven't looked at egg beaters and whipped cream the same way since. BL: Hee hee. [Cut back to the studio with Larry and Becky.] LM: Vegas? Whipped cream? BL: [turning away from Larry] It's nothing you need to know about. LM: I don't think it's anything I even WANT to know about. Let's go back to Tim Dross and "Countdown to Saturday Night." [Cut back to Tim in the studio] TD: With The Outlaw seemingly out of our hair, we can now begin looking at what the future means with Otto Verhoeven as the IIWF World Champion. One thing is certain: There is no shortage of challengers lining up to take on "The Butcher," and one such challenger is former World Champ The Subway Psycho. Let's hear from him now: [Scene: Penn Station, NY. A large man in a trench coat and hat moves through the crowded station. A few people seem to recognize the man, who is trying to conceal his identity. They approach him and he acknowledges them with a nod and a pat on the shoulder. The figure moves into a passageway which has been closed off because of construction. He moves into the shadows and removes his hat. It is the Subway Psycho.] SP: I enjoy walking among the millions who share the railways with me from time to time. It gives me a feel for the mindset of the people, their needs, their wants. What have I learned in my journey? The people are restless, dissatisfied... there is a bad taste in their mouths. Why is that? Because they know the man who now has the title of IIWF World Champion is the wrong man. The Butcher, as he calls himself, is no champion. I think of the men who have worn that belt... worthy champions. Otto? No, I don't think so. I will personally put an end to this mockery of the belt. Otto, you've stumbled in front of my runaway train. I'm running not on gas or diesel or electricity, but fury and rage. That's what my return has been all about. It's fury, but a controlled fury, and it's directed squarely on track.. on track to my second IIWF World Championship. And you're in my way! [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio] TD: The Psycho sounds like a man on a mission. Another man on a mission is one of the young lions here in the IIWF. I'm speaking, of course, about Marty Warnett, the Party Maniac, who defeated Simon Lebec in the "Hair vs. Hair" match at Ring Wars II. Lebec may have turned his attention to Chris Quigley and Billy Sexton, but Warnett is ready to tackle a much larger challenge -- The Syndicate. I had an opportunity to sit down with Marty Warnett in his home following Ring Wars II and learn a little bit more about this outstanding athlete: ************************************************************************** ---------------- UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: MARTY WARNETT ----------------- ************************************************************************** [Cut to pre-recorded tape: Dross and a cameraman are outside a long gravel drive leading up to a large building] CAMERAMAN: Tim, how much farther is it? TD: Not much more ... [Eventually, they reach the well-grained oak door of the condominium. Dross rings the bell, which plays "I Wanna Be Somebody" by W.A.S.P] CAMERAMAN: Hey, if he doesn't pay his royalties, Blackie Lawless'll get him ... TD: We _are_ here to do a job, y'know CAMERAMAN: As long as I get my overtime [After a long delay, Marty answers the door dressed only in a bathrobe] MW: [wiping sleep from his eyes] Dross, I thought you were going to be here at 7.30? TD: But it _is_ 7.30. MW: I MEANT PM!!!! Still, come on in anyway, we can do the interview now. Since I've been awakened, that is [They enter and are led into the extremely spacious living room, videotapes, pizza cartons and beer cans litter the floor.] MW: Sit yourselves down, if you can find some room [He brushes a stack of CDs from the sofa] TD: I just wanted to ask you about LeBec ... MW: Oh yeah, Mr. Simian LeBec ... that was one hell of a bout, the toughest I've been in yet. It's kinda ironic, as Alanis would say, you interfere and cost Sexton a bout, and as some doddering old fed President would say, turnabout is fair play ... You know, setting Quigley up wasn't a clever move, LeBec, you should have concentrated on the job in hand - me. Now, LeBec, take a good look, man. [Marty runs his fingers through his long hair] Can ya tell the difference between us? Boy, I love this federation. Not only do I pin and shave you, I also see you making more enemies than Steve Roberts! You, LeBec, are a done deal, something in my past, a stepping stone up the ladder of the IIWF. Excuse me, I need a drink [Marty goes into the kitchen and returns clutching a bottle] Where was I? Oh yeah, the bout with LeBec. Let me just say, Simon, I am by far the better wrestler, you must be feeling a bit draughty on top [he starts laughing, then swigs from Jack Daniels bottle.] Now, you made an allegation about me and Mr. Quigley. Believe me, I am heterosexual and... [A scantily clad twenty-something blonde female enters the room, sees the camera, shrieks and runs back out again] Well I guess that's been proven ... TD: I'd say so. Whew! Just before Ring Wars II, you seemed to have upset Brian Lau. MW: Yeah. I find it funny, that Lau stated he wouldn't give any kind of reaction, yet spouted all that verbal diarrhea. So, Mr Flaw, I will dignify your nonsense with a response, as anything else would be less than civilized. Claw is the IC champ, I'm not. Lau, one big, big reason I guess you lack the perceptive insight to realize: I've never had a shot at the title. Claw should talk about my shortcomings? Maybe he should try to exploit them in the ring. By the way, who failed to turn up for a title defense? Who, in a tag bout, walked away from the ring to avoid being pinned? Not me, that's for sure. Matsuoko? Yeah, he _was_ the champ. But he ain't now, nor will he be. Yeah, he's talented. That's why you own him, Lau, to stop him from pinning Claw. And I know how good Musashi is - I've fought him, and learned a great deal from that bout. I only think about young WOMEN and alcohol? Hey, fool, I train, I wrestle, I party. I'd much rather be me and have the fun I do than be a boring square like you! Ooooh, Casey, you round mound of sound, you call me a snot-nosed brat, what does that make you? A tissue? Casey James, you were one of the reasons I joined this fed. I saw you as a guy prepared to do what was right, but now I'm just sick to the back teeth of your presence. Let's get it on at Midweek Mayhem. Latta I won't even bother talking about, after the butt-kicking I gave you in that tag bout. You sure as hell ain't no Latta Day Warrior. You know, Dross, they don't seem to like me simply because I'm everything they're not - in condition, young and ready to rock to the top. It's kinda embarrassing for them to acknowledge they are yesterday's men, unable to cut the mustard with the new talent here in the IIWF. In fact, Tanaka and all you announcers make a mistake over their name - they are in fact the SENILITYCATS! In short, guys, the only reason I want to bother with you is because I want that belt. TD: President Spreadbury gave you your big chance and you've defended him in the past, what was your view on the events at Ring Wars II? MW: It looks bad. I mean, I've been screwed in at least half my losses, so far in the IIWF, but nothing has been done about the interference and gang attacks that have become part of this fed. It sure as hell looks like Lau has been shelling out big bucks, but things aren't always as they seem, y'know, and I just hope somebody will be able to restore some semblance of order around here. I get sick and tired of working my ass off, both in and out of the ring, only to have some unscheduled bozo interfere in my bouts. As for Pres Man Dan, I owe him a lot of loyalty for everything he's done for me personally. If he is gone for good, this fed will just get worse. TD: What's next for the Party Maniac? MW: Working my way up the ladder - I want an IC title shot. To get it, I have to put myself in a position where Claw and Lau's only excuse is that of cowardice. My contract is open - I'll meet anybody, anytime. James, Latta, Matsuoko, and especially you, Claw. You claim to be a warrior, but your track record involves ducking a defense and walking out of a bout to avoid being pinned! Maybe when I'm ready for a shot you'll still have the title, maybe you won't. But I'm not impressed. As for the rest of the Syndicate, have I bruised a few egos? I mean, for people who weren't going to respond to my comments, you seemed pretty vocal. TD: And another new Brit here in the IIWF ... MW: Yeah, Lord Byron? Seems a classy guy, and from what Roberts has been saying, he seems like another guy who is content to live off the memories of titles in other feds. As somebody not unfamiliar with mat wrestling, any bout between us could be interesting. But that's in the future. That Ring Warrior II seems kinda familiar too. All those power moves... I could swear I've seen before here in the IIWF. Then again, I could be mistaken. TD: Your thoughts on the World Title bout? MW: Just when it seems this fed can't go any further down the spiral, something else seems to happen. Yeah, Verhoeven is a tough guy, but when you get the mass war going on outside the ring like that, how can any referee keep control? Heck, Pres Man Dan didn't ... or couldn't. TD: Thanks for your time, Marty MW: The pleasure was all mine ... [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio] TD: Fans, I've seen many young stars come through the ranks, but none has the charisma of Marty Warnett. However, I must question the wisdom of taking on The Syndicate and a man as shrewd as Brian Lau. These men know how to end careers and Marty does not have the ring experience of a Casey James or a Tiger Claw. Unless he has a good game plan and plenty of help, I wouldn't recommend walking into that lion's den. I understand Casey James is already signed to compete in a tag match with Joe Latta at next week's Midweek Mayhem, so time will tell if Brian Lau decides to answer Marty Warnett's challenge. ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: [holding his index finger over his ear piece] Fans, I'm being told by our director that we have a LIVE feed to Simon Lebec. [A shot of Lebec flashes onto the monitor behind Dross] Mr Lebec, what do you have to say? SL: So Dross, I got the "Enigma" this Saturday night, eh? Listen to what I say and take my advice, you fish-eating freak! Don't even show up this Saturday night. It seems that a lot of people want to get in "The Showstopper's" face these days. Well sports fans... so be it! The more the merrier! I got plans and surprises for all of you... whether it be Quigley, Sexton, Warnett, or even you, Enigma! Now then Dross, after the despicable display by Chris Quigley at Ring Wars II, I have no other choice but to seek action. He and his goons cost me a match and some locks. I don't get mad, I get even. For this reason, I feel it's my moral obligation to the people to seek action. To think I tried out of the goodness of my heart to help out his race of illiterate savages, and this is the thanks I get! TD: So what do you have in mind? SL: While I interacted with the ice people up north on my last trip, I happened to meet some important allies along the way. I have gone to the provincial government of Newfoundland and they have assured me that they will indeed deal with Chris Quigley in an appropriate manner. After explaining to them that dipping him in whale blubber and setting him afire was not deemed appropriate in civilized societies, I received a document from their head of state. Unfortunately, there was nothing written on it since he cannot read or write, but that's another matter altogether. Those Eskimos stick together, like maggots on rotting seal meat. What would Chris Quigley do if he could never go home? He's not worthy of calling himself a Newfie, as if you'd want to call yourself that anyway! HA! TD: That's not very... SL: [interrupting] It is my guarantee that action shall be taken. I've personally funded an operation to send cameras to the Arctic, and they'll be set up outside Premier Brian Tobin's igloo. You can tell his from the others because his have the shiny moose antlers hanging from the entrance way. He will be here on "IIWF Saturday Night," and Quigley's status shall be reviewed. He has promised me this, as well as a handmade fur coat for Crystal. That's about all I have to say on the matter at this time. Thank you. [The monitor cuts to black] TD: Fans, I understand we will indeed have an interview with Premier Tobin LIVE tomorrow on "IIWF Saturday Night." That's something you don't see everyday, but it worries me that Simon Lebec is involved. Be sure to tune in tomorrow night! Speaking of things you don't see everyday, how about Randy Acorn in some disguise. Okay, that doesn't qualify, but the Badboy has managed to gain yet another shot at Billy Shakespeare's IIWF Cruiserweight title this weekend. And judging from the following tape, it will be a vastly different Randy Acorn coming to the ring. Take a look: [SCENE: Randy Acorn is seen running around a track. He does a few laps before he stops to wipe himself off. He sees the camera directed toward him, but instead of the usual smile, a serious look stays on his face as he begins to speak.] RA: Billy Shakespeare, the man that everyone wants to be like. The man that has made the IIWF Cruiserweight title a success. The man that continues to defeat me. The man whose destiny comes true on Saturday night. Billy, you got the better of me at Ring Wars and believe me, I'm not too pleased about that. Now I know what I must do to beat you and that is to quit the games, quit the mocking, and to get right down to business and just give you a nice old-fashioned ass whooping. I come from Jersey and there's a saying there, "People do not choose the roads they take -- destiny does. People can just make the U-turns". I never understood it when I was younger but now I do and I'm making a U-turn right back after your ass and I'm taking that title from you. [Randy lets a little smile come across his face as if a little weight's been lifted off his shoulder. He wipes the sweat off his face and begins to speak again] People may be surprised by the way I am talking right now but even I know that if I don't take this title away from you soon, I never will, and I'll be considered a joke for the rest of my IIWF career. Shakespeare, ever since my first day in the IIWF, I knew that we would clash because just like myself, you have an ego about you. Well leggo your ego and let's get down to business. That belt is mine. No Samantha Lee, no disguises, just the Badboy and the Cruiserweight Champ. Now if you'll excuse me, I got some work to do. [Screen fades to black as Randy gets back to running laps around the track. Cut back to Dross in the studio, who is trying to contain a snicker.] TD: Leggo your ego... hehe hemmmmph... uh, please pardon me, folks. I think I can safely say... [Dross is interrupted by a commotion in the studio. "Nuclear" John Bomber shoves aside several technicians and charges onto the set, grabbing a microphone from Dross.] JB: YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Magus... Magus... MAGUS!!! You're the most despicable wrestler that anyone has seen! You are always interfering in my matches! Aren't you man enough to face me in ring, under the rules? NO PROBLEM! I'm challenging you to an "Anything Goes" match! No rules, no DQ, no referee -- just you, me and the ring! [Bomber throws the microphone back onto the desk, then grabs the chair beside Dross and breaks it in two. He storms off the set. Dross picks up the microphone.] TD: ...is ...hing ...n't ...know th.... [A sound technician dashes to the table and hands Dross a new microphone.] TD: Is this one on? Okay. Fans, I apologize for that interruption. "Nuclear" John Bomber apparently has a problem with the madman Magus... and right now I'd say Magus may have met his match. [he looks off stage] Can we tighten security just a bit? Thanks. While we get things put back in order here in the studio, let's go to an interview I taped just yesterday with Lord Byron and the Lady DeWinter in New Orleans: [SCENE: A luxuriously decorated study. The camera pans around and focuses on Lord Byron, who is seated at a piano, playing the haunting "Moonlight Sonata." Lady DeWinter is leaning on the piano, watching his every move, entranced. Tim Dross walks into the room, and watches for a second, before trying to get some comments.] TD: Erm...excuse me? [Byron ignores him. DeWinter looks up and scowls, before walking over] DeW: [whispering] Tim! Don't interrupt him while he's playing! He'll speak in a minute. [Lord Byron finishes the piece, sighs, and looks up.] LB: Ah, Mr.Dross. So glad you could join us. Would you care to join me in a brandy? TD: No, it's all right thanks, I've got a busy day ahead of me. [Byron leads Tim over to some chairs while DeWinter pours him a brandy.] TD: Byron, you're scheduled to make your first IIWF appearance this Saturday, against "Nifty" Ned Norton. What are your thoughts on this match? LB: My friend, I am going to go into this match the same way as any other, with complete professionalism. Mr. Norton, you don't know what you are up against, and you don't stand a chance. But don't worry, as it's my debut I may decide to take it easy on you. TD: An arrogant attitude, Lord Byron. LB: No, a confident one. I thoroughly intend to show the athletes in the IIWF exactly why I am here. Make no mistake, Mr. Dross, I am going to make an example of Mr. Bomber in front of all the IIWF superstars. [Lady DeWinter walks up behind Byron and places her arms around his neck, before handing him the brandy. Byron shrugs her off, irritated, and takes a sip from his drink.] LB: [sighing]: Thank you, Milady. Now Mr.Dross, I believe I have to prepare for a reception at the British Embassy later tonight, so, if you will excuse me... [Byron leaves the room] DeW: Tim, after Saturday night, you will see exactly why my Lord Byron is going to take the IIWF by storm. Oh, and darling, could you please give this to Miss Becky LaRue for me? Thank you. [She hands Tim a small envelope and leaves the room. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: We'll see Lord Byron's debut tomorrow night, but I know you fans are as eager as I to see what's in this envelope. Joining us on the set now is Becky LaRue... Becky? [Becky walks onto the set, winking at several technicians. She looks at the shattered chair beside Dross.] BL; Uh, thanks Timmy, but I think I'll stand. TD: Okay, but I'll follow through on Lady DeWinter's request... BL: Did you see that Byron guy shrug her off? Ha! She couldn't even score with that snotty geek. TD: ...and give you this envelope. [Tim hands the envelope to Becky. She tears it open and pulls out the contents -- a $5.00 bill and a letter.] BL: Hey! Cash! [she tosses the letter to Dross] Would you read this, Timmy? TD: [unfolding the paper] Let's see, it says: "Darling, here's your next haircut paid for, regards, Lady DeWinter." Ummmmm... Becky... BL: Oh, wasn't that sweet? But now the little witch won't be able to buy a new dress. The price of burlap HAS gone up, you know. TD: Okay, Becky, please leave the set now. I've never been in the middle of a cat fight and I don't want to start now. [Becky waves the $5.00 bill and blows a kiss at the camera before walking away. Dross sits down and continues.] TD: It's been nearly a week since The Dark Knights joined forced with Deathbringer and the Archangel at Ring Wars II. I have mixed reactions about this partnership, fans, and I'll share my thoughts with you after we hear from The Sandman: [SCENE: The Sandman, Deathbringer, Prince of Darkness and Archangel stand on one of the towers at the Knights' castle. Dark clouds cover the red sky at dusk, but beams of sunlight from between the clouds illuminate the new Knights.] SM: Sold out the alliance, have I? A traitor? Hmmm.... I have two names for that, Joe Latta and Casey James -- the original Benedict Arnolds. Let's not be too quick to point fingers and forget their antics. I sold out no one. I wrestled the War Games with the Blackheart team and I helped a fellow Knight. I lived up to my agreed position. I did what I said I would do so get off my [BLEEP]! I stand for the image of personal nobility. The heel-face thing is of no significance. I'm the same Sandman, just as devious as ever, only now with a new perspective. When I said I was loyal to one side, I meant it. Only it was MY side. I stood tall when times looked grim and I proved to the world that the Dark Knights are all around. Things are not always as they seem... and seemingly it's as simple as this: You cannot have pure darkness without the presence of light. [The Sandman's eyes light up as the camera zooms back to captures a shot of the mighty Archangel] Thus the holy terror, the Archangel, and the master of the dark, Deathbringer! Two key elements to complete the cipher. I dabble in confusion and speak in riddles, just to keep my enemies guessing. And guessing they will be, for what is next for the Dark Knights? Because I'm in a good mood, I'll give you this bit of information: The uncrowned Prince of Darkness will capture the Intercontinental title and the Knights will raise hell in the IIWF. So now I hear Latta and James are sent after us. Heh heh heh heh. You want some of this? [he raises his arms in a sarcastic manner] Come and get ya some! [he moves his hands and motions toward himself] Brian Lau, I have respect and admiration for you, but I hate some of the people you are associated with. If this is how it's gonna be... BRING IT ON! That goes for anyone who wants to test me or any of the Knights. Don't go to sleep on us, there's no telling what's next! [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio] TD: I realize that Deathbringer and the Archangel are feeling very vulnerable after what happened at Ring Wars II, but I have to question their choice of comrades in this case. The Dark Knights are not exactly noted for their loyalty to others and The Sandman is one of the more devious individuals I've seen in the IIWF. As he said, he looks out for himself. So what's in this partnership for Deathbringer and the Archangel? I guess we'll have to wait for that answer. ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Otto Verhoeven H 10 8 2 0 80% (3=) WC Tiger Claw H 26 15 10 1 60% (IC) IC Billy Shakespeare F 19 15 4 0 79% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 20 15 3 2 80% (WC) 1 Outlaw J.W. Hardin H 15 11 2 2 80% (1) 2 The White Phoenix F 5 4 1 0 80% (2) 3 Chris Quigley F 9 7 2 0 78% (3=) 4 Dan Kauffman F 19 13 4 2 74% (5) 5 Subway Psycho F 16 11 4 1 72% (6) 6 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 11 7 4 0 64% (7) 7 Hakiro Matsuoko H 18 11 6 1 64% (9) 8 Billy Sexton H 16 10 6 0 63% (8) 9 The Sandman H 10 6 4 0 60% (11) 10 Vinny Cappicola F 11 5 3 3 59% (13) 11 Casey James H 17 9 6 2 59% (14) 12 Simon Lebec H 18 10 8 0 56% (12) 13 Don Antonio F 16 9 7 0 56% (10) 14= Robski H 16 9 7 0 56% (15) 14= Man Of Steel F 22 11 9 2 55% (16) 16 Mr. Damage H 11 6 5 0 55% (17) 17 Joe Latta H 17 8 8 1 50% (18) 18 The Hangman H 11 4 4 3 50% (22) 19 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 10 4 4 2 50% (20) 20 Fisto Flash H 17 7 8 2 47% (19) 21 Prince of Darkness H 16 6 7 3 47% (21) 22 Marty Warnett F 11 5 6 0 45% (24) 23 Archangel F 7 3 4 0 43% (26) 24 The Punster F 13 5 7 1 42% (23) 25 Prisoner #109 H 11 3 7 1 32% (25) 26 Magus H 14 4 10 0 29% (27) 27 "Nuclear" John Bomber F 12 2 10 0 17% (28) 28 Sabin Figaro F 6 1 5 0 17% (29) 29 Onslaught F - - - - - (-) - Lord Byron H - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ---------------------- THE IIWF TAG TEAM SCENE ------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: While there has been a lot of heat directed toward IIWF President Dan Spreadbury during the past few weeks, I have to agree with his decision to let Rising Sun Revolution wrestle in the title match at Ring Wars II. Remember fans, Ryudu and Hiroshi never lost those tag titles. They abdicated them to return to their native Japan. Still, controversy abounds and no two individuals are more aware of this than Ryudu and Hiroshi, themselves. So Rising Sun Revolution has declared that they will be fighting champions -- and I don't think they will have to wait very long for the challenges to arrive. Larry Morton files this taped report with the IIWF Tag Team champs: [Larry Morton is with the new IIWF Tag Team Champions, Rising Sun Revolution, to discuss their preparations for their first title defense.] LM: I'm here with Ryudu and Hiroshi, who have been receiving challenges left right and center after Ring Wars II. Now, Ryudu, you've been heard the comments from Heavy Metal, the Atomic Destroyers, Pain Inc. and the Arabian Knights, it seems that every team in the IIWF wants to get a shot at your belts. RY: And like I said, Larry, they'll all get their chance. We're not going to sit back on our titles and wait for them to come to us, you want a shot, you ask for it straight out, and you'll get it. We've already said that if Armed Forces want their rematch, they can have it RIGHT NOW. If not, we'll move on to the number one contenders, the Arabian Knights. LM: The Knights have an impressive record in the IIWF so far... RY: I know. We've seen them in action and they do look impressive. But they just don't seem to be working well as a team at the moment... I'm not sure whether the Prince feels that actual wrestling is beneath him, but it seems he and Omar just aren't getting on. Quite surprising too, considering the number of times he's pulled the Prince's fat out of the fire. Aside from that, I'm looking forward to squaring up against him, maybe I can teach his Highness a little respect. [Hiroshi yells the name Omar, and flies into a martial arts combination] RY: Oh yeah, and Hiroshi sends his best wishes to Omar as well. LM: Okay, moving on, it seems that your success has attracted the attentions of one of the IIWF's most... erm... successful managers? Brian Lau. RY: Mr. Lau, your comments were very flattering, but, and I mean this sincerely, we want absolutely nothing to do with you or your organization. LM: That could be a bad move, Ryudu. [Hiroshi growls and yells a stream of comments in Japanese, angrily.] RY: [flushing] Well, I'm not going to translate that for you. Suffice to say, Mr. Lau will get the picture. LM: Finally, we have the newcomers to the IIWF, Domination. Do you know these guys, Ryudu? RY: On that point, you'll just have to wait and see. [Cut to Dross in the studio] TD: I've a feeling that there IS a history between Rising Sun Revolution and Domination based on the way these teams talk about each other. We sent a camera crew to a rather unsavory part of town which Domination is known to frequent to try to learn more about this new team. I'll caution you now, fans, that the following footage may be too disturbing for small children. Let's go to the tape: [The camera travels down some shady stairs in a dodgy building. Graffiti covers the walls, and you can almost smell the decaying reek of mouldy wood. The bannister breaks off in the hands of the cameraman, who almost falls, but regains his footing and descends further into the basement. The door squeaks open, and inside a bulky man is going mental on a punchbag, pounding it with fury. The punchbag falls and the man,the half of Domination called Mr.Psycho, continues, then reaches to a nearby table and reveals his lucky butcher`s knife, hacking away until all the stuffing covers the floor. The cameraman backs away nervously, but Mr.Psycho suddenly sees him.] MP: Hey, you! Are you the cameraman from the IIWF Report? Well get on over here! Our manager, Mistress, ain't here right now, but I'll be happy to talk to you. And of course, my good friend Monster will too. [Mr.Psycho points to the a corner of the room. Sitting there gnawing on red meat like something out of a horror movie is a human albino. A LARGE human albino with deathly pale skin, pure long white hair and goatee. When he looks up at the camera, his piercing red eyes stare into the lens.] MONSTER: [Screaming, almost like Chewbacca from Star Wars] Raaarrrgghhh! MP: Yeah, he's something special, ain't he? Damn mean bastard. If I could have anyone on my side, it would always be him. Trust me, he's going to show the IIWF something different. Heck, I am too. MONSTER: [Seemingly agreeing with Mr. Psycho] Raarrgghh. MP: But really, I can`t say too much without our manager here. Heck, I don`t want to give away any of our game plans. But I can tell you this much, we do what we are called. And we are Domination. So all you tag teams out there -- Arabian Knights, Heavy Metal, Zodiac Connection, whoever -- we`re here and we`re going to cause you big trouble on the way to the belts. We'd also like to give our consolation to Deathbringer with regard to his loss of the World Title. Butcher is no champion. He couldn't wrestle his way out of a paper bag. MONSTER: Raaarrrgggg. MP: Yeah Monster, I know you could prove it any day of the week, but Otto will evade any challenge you may offer. Right now, though, we'll face the task at hand. So Shark and Piranha, you are on our minds. We are learning about you. We've seen as many tapes of your matches as we can get hold of -- and we ain't impressed. You two are a bunch of softies and I can`t wait to rip your throat out. MONSTER: Raarrggghhhh. MP: Yeah, and your head, as well. Take pleasure in being our first step to tag-team Domination. [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio] TD: Yeeech! RAW meat? I don't think the health department will be thrilled about that footage. We'll get our first look at Domination tomorrow night against the Aces of the Deep, who will try to... heh, heh, flood the newcomers. "Soundbite" Steve Roberts chatted with Shark and Piranha earlier this week about this opportunity: [SCENE: A gym in which Sam "Shark" Summers and Peter "Piranha" Pouls are weightlifting. Steve Roberts enters the gym.] SR: Are you goons too busy for an interview? SS: No, come in Roberts! [Stopping their exercising] Ufff. Weightlifting is good for your health, you should try it. Come on, get it! [Piranha throws a weight to Roberts] SR: NO, WAIT! [He grabs the weight] Hey, this one is fake! PP: Ha, ha, very funny. Sam, go see if I'm in the pool. SS: But you are here! How can you be in the pool? SR: Yep, I'm dealing with brain surgeons here. Well, Aces, you have a match against newcomers Domination this Saturday. Any thoughts? SS: Yeah! We'll flood them! SR: Flood them? PP: Just ignore him. SS: HEY! TRY TO IGNORE ME! PP: [he sighs] Well, Domination, we don't know your goals here, what you like, or how you wrestle. That's dangerous in any situation. BUT, you can be sure that we will be tough opponents for you. SS: Domination, too bad that you debut against us, because we want this victory... and we will get it! PP: Nicely put. This will be a good match, Domination wants to show their talents and we need this victory to climb the ranks. So, Domination, you'd better be good opponents, or... BOTH: We'll SUNK your team! SR: SUNK?! Aw, [BLEEP], why do I always get these assignments? Back to you, Dross. [Cut back to Dross in the studio] TD: With the title controversy and the new talent coming into the IIWF, the tag scene is quickly gaining new fans. Part of the excitement is that the teams are so evenly balanced, any team can win on a given night. Last Saturday at Ring Wars II was a prime example, as the Zodiac Connection pulled off the big victory against Pain, Inc. You know that didn't set well with Pain, Inc.'s manager, Mr. Mic. Let's hear from the vocal one now: [SCENE: Mr.Mic is playing golf at Mauna Kea in Hawaii. He lines up a shot and drives the ball 295 yards down the fairway. He turns to the camera.] MM: Well, well, to all the minimum wage, "Do you want fries with that" losers... this is the closest you'll get to heaven. I often play here in the winter. [he looks around] Now let's get down to business. First, 7-11 Knights, you guys -- and I use the term very loosely -- better start training on how to wrestle without a manager. Better yet, why not learn how to wrestle first? Ha Ha Ha. I understand that there may be some dissention in the ranks... awwwwwwww wassa madder Prince, did you forget to get Omar his slurpee or maybe forget to wash his "I'm a Moron, please for the love of god shoot me" T-shirt? No matter, that spoiled little brat the Prince, the Brassiere and Omar are finished Saturday night. The funny thing Brassiere, is that for all your work in cheating us out of a victory at Ring Wars II, it won't mean a damn thing after Saturday, 'cause you'll be history, gone, bye-bye, finito!!! You can't beat us one on one so you had to use your hocus-pocus crap. Ha Ha Ha. PATHETIC. Second, Zodiac Connection, you bozos were lucky at Ring Wars II to escape with a cheated victory!! I don't care wether you had anything to do with it or not. Pain Inc. is seething at the chance to pound on you two again. Remember, we haven't forgotten about you. Thirdly, Aaron what are you doing? You start demanding a match with Pain Inc. this weekend? I am doing you a favor. Maybe you didn't hear the 7-11 Knights on Tuesday going off on the Forces? I, myself, respect you a great deal and will be the first one to say the IIWF cheated you out of the IIWF tag titles. Perhaps you should rethink your position. As for the Rising Run Retards, you guys are starting to make the Atom Bomb become a good idea again. I can't believe so-called "upstanding wrestlers" like yourselves would take such a tainted victory! You didn't win those titles... THEY WERE GIVEN TO YOU! The Armed Forces beat the 2 teams they were supposed to, therefore they should still be the champs. You two losers make me sick. Once the Forces get finished with ya, my Pain Inc. would love to show who the real Terrors of Tokyo are. Ha Ha Ha! [Cut back to Tim in the studio] TD: Well, Mr. Mic may be brushing off the Zodiac Connection too lightly. If they want a rematch against the team that defeated them at Ring Wars II, then Pain, Inc. will have meet the rules set by Taurus and Scorpio. This one is getting interesting, fans. Let's hear what the Zodiac have to say: [Cut to Taurus and Scorpio on the IIWF interview set] SCORPIO: Pain, Inc., you should have paid attention to the signs that the stars were trying to tell you. You were warned about coming against us in a match as dangerous as that one at Ring Wars II. And now you demand another shot at us? We accept... to once again prove who the better team is! However, we are not stupid enough to accept a no-disqualification match against you guys. If you want another match against us, boys, you will most definitely have to play by OUR rules. Taurus will bring out the Zodiac Wheel and we'll meet you in the ring. TAURUS: The Zodiac Wheel is a special type of match that we have associated with each of the 12 signs. If you accept our offer, boys, we will definitely accommodate you... and we'll even let you have the opportunity to seal your own fate. We will be there waiting to make you suffer, just like the prophecy in the stars of the Zodiac. SCORPIO: Before we forget, please allow me to announce that the Zodiac Connection has agreed to a union with the Aces of the Deep. Together, we will make things right here in the IIWF... the federation which demands the very best competition. Oh, and to the Atomic Doo-Doo Heads -- we would very much like to wrestle against you guys, as well. All of the IIWF will fall down before the new Zodiac Connection. The stars have willed that we shall be triumphant! [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio] TD: Fans, let me just say that our censor must have been asleep at the switch to let something like "Doo-Doo Heads" slip past. I apologize for that. Secondly, I'm not sure what a Zodiac Wheel match is, but if Pain Inc. accepts the challenge, I'm certain we'll hear more about it. Don't believe for a second that the Armed Forces have forgotten about Rising Sun Revolution. They are just one of two former tag team champions setting their sights on Hiroshi and Ryudu. Let's hear from the Forces: [SCENE: The Omaha Civic Auditorium. NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, are back in the ring practicing, getting ready for a grueling week. Aaron the Caddy is sitting in the bleachers watching his men whale away on some jobbers.] ATC: There are my Armed Forces. Man, they got the shaft bigger than life the other night. And now they're not too happy. [NavCom lands a big lariat clothesline. Covers: 1 - 2 - the jobber kicks out.] ATC: Look at the agility and explosiveness of NavCom. He's our team captain. We keep him in there for inordinate periods of time, until he has worn out and frustrated the opponent. His main strength is the fact that he's so tough. Opponents keep hitting him with all their arsenal, covering him over and over, and every time he pops out. [The jobber has NavCom in a backslide. As it is apparent that the jobber will pull him to the mat, NavCom escapes with a backflip over the top of the jobber. He then levels the jobber with a clothesline.] ATC: Slippery little devil, isn't he? Well, they don't know this yet, but I've gotten them a match with the Zodiac Connection for this Saturday night. They've been so depressed lately, whipping up on these jobbers will certainly cheer them up. He he he. OH....WATCH THIS! [NavCom applies a cobra clutch in the center of the ring. DefCon sprints across the ring and drop kicks the other jobber outside to the floor.] ATC: NavCom has a new move... it's all over if he gets this one on you! [DefCon then slingshots over the top and lands all 362 pounds on the chest of the other jobber. In the ring, NavCom records the submission victory, but will not release the hold.] ATC: Good win, guys. Wait a minute -- NavCom, NAVCOM! Stop it... you'll kill him!! [The jobber is laid out on his back, unconscious.] ATC: DefCon, do something! [DefCon slides under the rope and pulls NavCom off the jobber.] ATC: What's wrong with you?! I've never seen you like this. You've got to calm down. NC: Listen up, everybody! Ever since we've lost the titles, I've had a little attitude adjustment. I'm tired of being such a model citizen. I'm gonna start worrying less about being such a swell guy and more about kicking some butt around here. We're going to maim and thrash until we get back what's ours... those tag team titles. ATC: Well, the first victims should be the Zodiac Connection. I've gotten you a match with them for this Saturday Night. DC: Those jobbers? That's wonderful! I remember when we put our titles on the line against those worthless punks and we left 'em layin' in the ring! This will make you happy, NavCom. You'll be able to put that new hold of yours on the Bull and the poisonous bug in the center of the ring until their skulls pop! NC: Scorpio... Taurus.... now, more than ever is a terrible time to step into the ring with the Armed Forces. I'm not just bent on winning anymore -- I'm obsessed with it. I'm going to get in there with you and smash some stinking heads. Literally. Guys, let me tell you this... when I get that Cobra Clutch on you... I just might not let go! ATC: Breathe, buddy. Breathe. NC: I'm sick of it! This is a bunch of crap...we should still have those titles...they're OURS! We made them! If we don't get them back, there's gonna be some major trouble around here. ATC: Okay, NavCom, that'll be quite enough. DefCon, give us the scoop on future plans for the Armed Forces. DC: When I got jumped from behind and pinned the other night, it was a terrible feeling. It felt like I had been struck by lightning... like I had let the whole world down. It wasn't that I had lost the belts-- that I could live with. I thought that I had let down the whole military and the city of Omaha. After the match, I got on the plane, and when I got home, I crawled into bed and I started to cry. Right then, the phone rang. On the line was Secretary of Defense William Perry. He told me that we had represented the country's military well and that we may be eligible for some kind of recognition. NC: Right, Def. And when we got to Omaha the next day, yeah, the billboard was changed. It no longer said, "Ring Wars II, featuring the IIWF World Tag Team Champions the Armed Forces". It said, "Omaha is proud of OUR champions!" And it had a picture of us with "Thanks for the memories" written on top. That was touching. I wiped a tear away from my face. It really means a lot. ATC: They love you guys. Everyone loves you two. NC: No, Aaron. They love us THREE. You're as big a part of this as anybody. You're the greatest manager in the IIWF. ATC: I know. [chuckle] In all honesty, thank you. I can't see myself with any other team. You guys are the best, and you deserve those titles. DC: Which brings me to a point. Those belts belong to us. We fought through the ranks around here. We started with lowlife groundlings like the United Nations and Law and Disorder. Then we eventually moved up to middle class trash like Stunt Team, who you claim to hold so dear as your buddies. Well, hey, we beat 'em. Bad. And then, we beat the High Plains Drifters to win the titles. They're the best team we've faced. Not you guys. And, just like everybody else, you'll fall at the feet of the Forces... you all will. NC: Rising Sun Revolution... this is personal. In 1941, you took a cheap shot upon Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. It was an unprovoked attack which, just like yours, came from behind. Sneaking into the building and getting in the match. Well, this Kamikaze mission is about to crash into the ocean because, as we all recall, in August of 1945 the American ARMED FORCES killed 80,000 Japanese at Hiroshima with one bomb. But never fear -- we don't want to kill 80,000 -- just two. You know who they are, punks. ATC: Back into the ring, gentlemen. See you later... if you're lucky. Oh, before we leave, I'm sorry the guys didn't have much to say today. We usually try to keep the IIWF crowd happy with a lot of quality air time... you know, spice up the ratings. Sorry about this, President Dan. I hope I was able to fill enough of your show that you won't need that idiot Dross to run his mouth off to fill the dead time. He has no clue about good tag team wrestling. Goodnight! [Cut back to the studio, where Dross is making chattering motions with his hands.] TD: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. THERE is living proof that humility is an acquired trait. Ever wonder what's in the water in Omaha? Moving on, the High Plains Drifters are also in line for a shot at the title they once held. And I've got to note that the Drifters make their case far more succinctly than the Armed Forces: [SCENE: A western plain. The High Plains Drifters -- Pale Rider and Easy Rider -- cross the landscape on horseback before riding up to the camera.] PR: You see all this? This is the heartland of America. Easy and I have traveled these paths more times then we can remember. We've driven cattle in the same fashion that generations of great American frontiersmen have done the past. ER: This is a harsh land... and a hard way of life. But we'd have it no other way. PR: The Rising Sun Revolution don't know about this life. They've never lived it like Easy and me. Now they walk into OUR LAND and take OUR BELTS! ER: Let us tell you something Rising Sun... the Drifters are American, born and bred! You're going to find out what that means! When you come into our backyard you'd better be prepared for the dogs to be set on you. PR: So don't worry about anyone else... your problems begin and end right here... with us. [The Drifters ride off into the sunset] ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 5 5 0 0 100% (9) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Arabian Knights H 8 6 2 0 75% (4) 1 High Plains Drifters H 17 12 5 0 71% (2) 2 Heavy Metal H 7 5 2 0 71% (3) 3 The Armed Forces H 14 9 4 1 69% (WT) 4 Pain Inc. H 6 4 2 0 67% (1) 5 Atomic Destroyers H 11 6 4 1 60% (6) 6 Stunt Team USA F 17 10 7 0 59% (5) 7 The Zodiac Connection F 7 4 3 0 57% (7) 8 Aces of the Deep F 8 2 6 0 25% (8) 9 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Domination F 0 0 0 0 -- (NR) (NR) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT: A PREVIEW --------------------- ************************************************************************** * Armed Forces vs. Zodiac Connection [D] The Zodiacs are coming off of a big win at Ring Wars II. The Armed Forces are mad. This one could get ugly. * Atomic Destroyers vs. [J] [D] The Destroyers have been inconsistent, but they rule dark matches. * Ring Warrior II vs. TBA [D] The Warrior was impressive in his debut at Ring Wars II. Don't bet against him. * Joe Latta vs. Sabin Figaro [D] Latta is now a man on a mission. Figaro may be on his way out of the IIWF if he loses. * Don Antonio vs. [J] [D] Has the Don recovered from the beating he suffered at the hands of The Syndicate? We'll find out. * Onslaught vs. [J] The newcomer Onslaught makes his match debut! * Domination vs. Aces of the Deep What's all the fuss about Domination? We'll find out if they roll or get SUNK! * Lord Byron vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton Another heralded newcomer enters the IIWF ring for his first match. Keep Becky LaRue away from ringside! * "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Simon Lebec Both men have something to prove right now. This should be a main-event quality match! * Marty Warnett vs. Robski The young phenom takes on the crafty ring veteran! * IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Billy Shakespeare vs. Randy Acorn Acorn has come very close to winning the title in the past. Does Billy have his number, or will Acorn's new attitude be the key? * IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: Tiger Claw vs. Prince of Darkness If Prince of Darkness loses, he must leave the IIWF. If he pins Tiger Claw, he wins the belt. It's all on the line! * MANAGER LEAVES TOWN MATCH: Pain Inc. vs. Arabian Knights Mr. Mic or the Grand Vizier? Which manager will be on his way out after Saturday night's big match? OPEN CONTRACT: The Armed Forces ************************************************************************** -------------------------- IIWF NEW BLOOD ----------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: Larry and Becky told you on Tuesday that the IIWF front office continues to negotiate with top talent around the world to bring the BEST wrestlers right here! I can give you some information on yet another young wrestler who is on his way to the IIWF -- Steve "The Fury" Kowalski. Take a look at this footage: [The scene is Hardin's Gym in Clifton Jersey. The gym is a dark and musty place with numerous photos of wrestling legends. Some of the men here are training with weights, running, or jumping rope. But most of the men are watching two rather large men battle it out in the ring, which is set in the center of the gym. "Slim" Jimmy Dodge and Rusty Hardin, the owner, discuss the match.] JD: This Williams kid ain't too shabby, Rusty. He controls the tempo with that headlock. He's gonna win that IIWF contract. RH: He's pretty sound technically but I don't know if he has any heart. There hasn't been a guy to really challenge him. Over-confidence is a killer. [At this point Williams pins his opponent with a german suplex. The small crowd at the gym cheers and hi-fives the young man. When the cheering is all but done, a intense figure walks through the crowd.] JD: Who's this punk? He can't just... RH: Sweet Jesus. It's Bruno's son. It's the Fury! Beat it, Kowalski! We don't want any of your kind here. SK: What's the matter, Rusty? I heard you were having a little competition here today. A competition to see who gets a contract with the IIWF. I would like a shot. Unless your stumbling pansy here can beat me. I say we wrestle for it. WILLIAMS: You're on! I don't hide from... SK: Shut up! And let's get this over with, jackass! [It is quickly obvious that Williams is hardly Kowalski's match. After battering Williams around, he eventually finishes it with the Skullpump, a double underhook piledriver. A quick three count brings a smile to his face. He gives Williams a good boot to the head before turning to Hardin.] RH: Okay, that's enough! You're a real mad dog! And mad dogs should be put to sleep! SK: [Eye to eye with Hardin] There hasn't been a dog catcher tough enough! [He snatches the contract from Hardin's hand and head for the doorway calling out.] After I take over the IIWF, maybe your punk kid can job to me regularly! Ha ha ha! [Cut to Tim Dross in the studio] TD: "The Fury" looks like a young wrestler to be reckoned with. We'll see how he does in the IIWF. Here is a closer look at him: Name: Steve "The Fury" Kowalski Height: 6'4" Weight: 268 lbs Orientation: Heel Origin: Newark, New Jersey Appearance: Kowalski stands with a muscular frame and gleaming green eyes. His rusty-brown hair matches the five o'clock shadow that is on his face. On the way to the ring he wears a faded denim jacket with a Harley Davidson logo on the back. As he walks the aisle, he badmouths the crowd. In the ring he wears basic forest green trunks that say "SOB" on the rump. His elbow pads and boots are also forest green. His boots have "Fury" written down the sides. Theme Music: "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult Favourite moves: 1. Hotshot 2. Tiger Driver 3. Fallaway Slam 4. Running Lariat 5. Texas Cloverleaf Finishing move: Skullpump - Double Underhook Piledriver Primary Attributes: 1. Strength 2. Toughness 3. Intelligence Profile: Kowalski is the son of the legendary Bruno the Sandman, voted most brutal wrestler 78'- 86', is determined to out do his father's accomplishments. Even win a few titles along the way. Intense and violent, Kowalski has no morals and will do what it takes to get the job done. More technically skilled than his father but with the same mean streak, he dominated the over-sea independent federations. Now 23 years of age, he wants to dominate in the states. He has heard the the place to be is the IIWF. There are a lot of good names he looks forward to obliterate. [Handler: Jack Hoban ] ************************************************************************** -- COMING TUESDAY: "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH LARRY MORTON & BECKY LaRUE -- ************************************************************************** TD: We're gearing up for an exciting "IIWF Saturday Night" as we return to the IIWF Coliseum for the first time in more than a month. You can be assured of the BEST professional wrestling right here in the IIWF, and Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will be here to bring you all the highlights and interviews next Tuesday on "Inside the IIWF." So until tomorrow night, this is Tim Dross saying goodnight everyone! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers +------------------------------------+---------------------------+ URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/|President: Daniel Spreadbury +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+