[Fade up on scenes from Ring Wars II at the Hoosier Dome. Dross is heard in the background: "Who is that in there...? What?! It's Hardin! It's the Outlaw! His arm wasn't broken at all! This is all a set-up! I can't believe this! It's Hardin!" Hardin brings a steel chair into the ring with him, and clobbers Deathbringer from behind with it. Huge heel pop! Most of the crowd are by now on their feet. Hardin lays the dented chair on the canvas, and drops Deathbringer with the Cattle Buster DDT onto the chair. Huge heel pop! Hardin drags the champion to his feet, and Verhoeven labels him repeatedly with the chair. Hardin dumps Deathbringer on the canvas, and goes over to the ropes. He opens the casket, and together, he and Verhoeven dump his motionless form into the coffin, slamming the lid. Cut to aerial shots from the blimp as the brawl involving wrestlers, fans and officials gets completely out of hand. The shot crackles to black. Over the darkness, a voice over:] VO: As the casket slammed shut on the reign of IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Deathbringer, darkness fell on the IIWF. The forces of the alliance had sealed victory, and it seemed that nobody was safe from the shadows... [The screen flashes: monochrome footage of Kauffman and Quigley brawling rolls.] Even those who claimed to be on the side of the light were swallowed by the darkness. [The screen flashes again: IIWF President Dan Spreadbury screeches off in his car.] The man who arbitrated the dispute appeared to have fallen by the wayside. [The screen flashes again: footage rolls of Otto Verhoeven raising the IIWF Championship belt, blood on his face, outside the Hoosier Dome.] The Outlaw J.W. Hardin may have departed, but his spectre remains, and his mantle has been passed to the new IIWF Champion, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. [The screen flashes a fourth time: a close-up of Deathbringer's black eyes fills the screen.] Has "Black Death" come to the IIWF? [The screen fades to black. There is a pause of a few moments before the opening graphics explode onto the screen:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- * LIVE! * 19 October 1996 * IIWF Coliseum * [The graphics shatter to reveal interior shots of the IIWF Coliseum, packed to the rafters with a crowd of more than twenty thousand excited fans. Pan down past row upon row of sign-waving fans. The shot comes to rest on the ringside announcers' table, at which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum! I'm Tim Dross, and I'm joined, as always, by my broadcast colleague, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. The IIWF is still in shock following the events of last Saturday night in the Hoosier Dome. We have a new IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, and new IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the undefeated Rising Sun Revolution, who returned to the IIWF at Ring Wars II and defeated reigning champions the Armed Forces for the titles in their first match back! What a night of surprises it was, Steve! SR: It sure was, Dross. For one thing, there's no way that those Sushi- munching morons should have been allowed to compete in that tag elimination match last weekend, but thankfully that was the only bad decision the IIWF President made at Ring Wars II. In fact, old Danny boy finally seems to have come to his senses. TD: Speculation has certainly been rife all week that the IIWF President is on the payroll of the Syndicate, and from the events of last Saturday night, the evidence seems pretty overwhelming. However, he'll have his chance to defend himself tonight as he breaks his week-long silence. SR: I just hope he's more in the mood to talk this week, Dross. He nearly killed Barry Moron last Saturday Night. I told you he was wising up... hehe. TD: That's Larry Morton, Steve. SR: Whatever. TD: We've also got the debut of a new segment here tonight. The lovely Becky LaRue will be interviewing an IIWF superstar every week, beginning tonight, in "LaRue's Lair". SR: And tonight's victi... I mean, guest... will be "Hot Air" Chris Quigley, who will no doubt raise the temperature in here by a good few degrees by harping on about Dan Kauffman. TD: Those two certainly had a major disagreement last week in the Wargames match in the Hoosier Dome, and I'm sure Quigley will have something to say about it here tonight. In our third big interview this evening, we will be talking live with the Premier of Newfoundland, Canada, Mr. Brian Tobin. SR: This is going to be great, Dross. From what I hear, Simon Lebec has struck a pretty impressive deal with Tobin. TD: I'm not sure I'm going to like this. Lebec will also be in action in the ring tonight, as he takes on the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, who was the victim of one of the IIWF President's controversial decisions last week. We'll also see Marty Warnett take on Robski, which has the makings of a great match. SR: Yeah, Robski's finally going to shut that Walnut guy up for good. Walnut thinks he's a party maniac? He never partied with the Horsemen. And if he thinks badmouthing the Syndicate is going to help him climb the rankings, he's got another thing coming. Right now, Brian Lau is not in the mood to be messed with. TD: The fact that Tiger Claw will be defending his Intercontinental title in a steel cage twice in seven days can't be improving his humour either, Steve. Tonight, only one week after that gruelling Baseball Bat cage match with Don Antonio, he's going to be facing the Prince of Darkness, who has seen the light, so to speak. SR: Seen the light?! You're kidding me, right? I think the lights went out on the Dark Knights last week when they sided with Deathbringer. The Alliance will make them pay for selling out, you can count on that. TD: Well, the Prince of Darkness had better count on victory tonight, because if he doesn't take the title from Tiger Claw, he'll be out of the IIWF... and the last time he demanded those stipulations, he came up short. SR: He's going to come up _real_ short tonight, Dross. The Syndicate have something very special planned for the Dark Knights. TD: What do you know about it, Steve? SR: That's for me to know, and for you to find out. TD: Another IIWF career is on the line tonight, as the Arabian Knights battle Pain Inc. in a Manager Leaves Town match. The Grand Vizier and Mr. Mic haven't made too many friends in the IIWF in the short time since their arrival, but I wouldn't mind seeing the back of either of them. SR: That senile old fool, the Grand Vizier, can't even keep his men in line. They've been squabbling like spoiled kids all week. Mr. Mic is going to be laughing all the way to the 7-11 tonight to see the Grand Vizier begin his new career. TD: In a second title match tonight, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare will defend his IIWF Cruiserweight Championship against "Badboy" Randy Acorn, whom he pinned in that Wargames match last weekend. SR: Tonight, Pukespeare's not going to be so lucky. Nobody possesses the element of surprise like the "Badboy", and I predict an upset win for Acorn this evening! TD: We're also going to see three IIWF debuts later on: Domination, a rather... shall we say, odd... tag team, who will be facing the Aces of the Deep; and the highly-touted Lord Byron, who will be facing "Nifty" Ned Norton. SR: The front office really should have found a higher-calibre opponent for Byron than that moron. He's not going to be pleased. TD: In the third debut, the "mystery man" who attacked Fisto Flash last week at Ring Wars II and cost him the Noose Lumberjack Match against the Hangman will make his first appearance. He goes by the name of Onslaught, and from the glimpse we got of his skills last Saturday night, he's going to be one to watch here in the IIWF. SR: I know Fisto Flash has his eye on him, that's for sure. TD: In all, we've got a tremendous lineup tonight, folks, but before we get to our first live match, let's quickly recap the action we've already seen before coming on air: - "ROYALTY OF THE STREET" SABIN FIGARO crashed to one last defeat in his last IIWF appearance against "THE MASTER" JOE LATTA. Figaro was jeered by the crowd on his way back up the aisle having been pinned by Latta's Shotgun Suplex, and he gave the crowd the finger before disappearing back into the locker rooms. - DON ANTONIO pinned NICK NAME in quick time, executing his devastating press slam/backbreaker combination, Truth & Honour, for the victory. Antonio was watched from ringside by the Lady DeWinter, who took up residence at the timekeeper's table. Any ideas why DeWinter would be watching the Don's match, Steve? SR: Possibly to remind herself how the other half live, Dross. There's more class in Lord Byron's little finger than in the whole of that greasy-haired spaghetti-munching moron. TD: I think you're being a little unfair, Steve. Moving on: - Former IIWF World Tag Team Champions the ARMED FORCES defeated the ZODIAC CONNECTION in their first match since losing the titles last week to Rising Sun Revolution. Scorpio and Taurus came to the ring with the Aces of the Deep, whom they are now calling Pisces, but their comrades on the outside weren't of much use as they fell to the Forces' AK47/IBCM combination finisher. SR: Pisces?! You're kidding me... TD: Don't flood, Steve. SR: [sniggers] TD: In other action: - RING WARRIOR II made another appearance tonight, battling the MASKED MARAUDER, and defeating him in quick time with a modified chokeslam. I just can't shake the feeling that I've seen that behemoth before, Steve. SR: You're right, Dross. When I interviewed him last week, I could have sworn I've talked to him somewhere before. TD: Well, we've no time to discuss that mystery now: - Rumours abound that the Senator is about to whisk his men away from the IIWF for a world tour, but that didn't stop the ATOMIC DESTROYERS making mincemeat of the ROTUNDOS in quick time. SR: Those Slim Slam shakes don't seem to be doing the Rotundos a lot of good, Dross. They looked as hideously obese as ever. TD: Er... no, Steve. I'm sure they've lost a lot of weight in the past seven days, just by having a Slim Slam shake for breakfast, one for lunch, and a proper dinner. SR: Yeah, but a proper dinner for the Rotundos consists of eight cows, three dozen eggs, two pounds of lard, and half a ton of French fries. TD: Slim Slam can only help weight loss as part of a calorie controlled diet, folks... [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Right, it's time to get up to the ring for our first live match, as the Aces of the Deep take on the newcomers, Domination. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Domination vs. Aces of the Deep =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Tag team action coming up. Newcomers, Domination, will be going up against the Aces Of the Deep. SR: Oh boy... I'd better be careful... I may just flood. TD: You just might, Steve. This Domination looks like they could be a handful. SR: Well, what we're looking at is a nutbar and his pet mutant. It could be interesting... RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 529 lbs, Shark and Piranha, The Aces of the Deep! [The theme from Jaws rumbles through the Coliseum, and the fans give a mild pop. Shark and Piranha jog down the aisle, obviously pumped up for the encounter.] TD: These guys are really enthusiastic tonight. SR: The day can't get any worse... It turns out that the special in the cafeteria was fish sticks today, and The Aces here thought they recognized one of the entrees... TD: Great, Steve... RA: Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 620 lbs, accompanied to the ring by the Mistress, Mr. Psycho, Monster, Dominnnnaaaaationnnn!! [Megadeth's "Countdown to Extinction" blares over the PA, and Mistress, clad in a long black leather trenchcoat and dark sunglasses, leads Mr. Psycho and Monster to ringside. The fans seem to be behind the new team.] TD: Well, the fans seem to be behind these guys. I would assume that the implied connection to IIWF Tag Champs, Rising Sun Revolution, has made these guys okay in the crowd's book. SR: Wow... I wonder what she's wearing under that coat... You know, I remember... TD: Okay, Steve... No need for the flashback graphic... [Mr. Psycho persuades Moster to stay in the corner, and starts off the match against Piranha. The ref calls for the bell, and the match begins. The two competitors circle each other, then lock up collar and elbow. Mr. Psycho gets the upper hand, and throws Piranha with an Irish Whip. Piranha rebounds, and gets tagged with a reverse knife edge in the process. Piranha staggers back, and Psycho jams a thumb into the Ace's eye. Piranha clutches his face, and Psycho clotheslines him to the mat. Mistress applauds on the outside, and Monster hops about on the apron in approval. The is a good pop from the crowd as Psycho drops a leg onto Piranha. Psycho drags his opponent to his feet, then throws him into the corner. Piranha reverses, and sends Psycho into the turnbuckle, then staggers over and tags in Shark. Shark attempts a splash on Psycho, but Psycho quickly moves out of the way. Shark staggers backwards, and Psycho catches him in a nicely executed Atomic Drop. Shark holds his back, and Psycho kicks him down. Big pop as Psycho yells to the crowd.] TD: The Aces are having a problem mounting an offense against these newcomers. SR: I'm seeing quite a bit of offensive material from the Aces. Those tights are tacky, and they smell. TD: I recall you wearing some pretty gaudy ring attire in your day, Steve. SR: Those fishnets were suave, Dross. And the feather boa oozed confidence. [Psycho tags in Monster, who can't wait to get into the ring. He storms in, and grabs Shark around the throat and neck. Monster lifts Shark up by the back of the neck, and executes a sort of reverse chokeslam, driving Shark down face first. The crowd gives a big pop for the manoeuvre, and Monster smiles wickedly. Shark works on getting to a vertical base, and Monster rushes over to intercept. Monster hoists Shark up in a press slam, and carries the Ace around the ring. Monster lets go, and Shark crashes to the mat. Mr. Psycho calls to Monster, who stops what he's doing and goes over to him. Psycho slaps Monster on the shoulder, tagging himself in. Monster seems to understand what's going on, and drags Shark up to his feet again.] TD: What are we seeing here? SR: Well, there's the big pale guy, who doesn't seem to know exactly what's going on, and the smaller guy with the brains. Of course, when compared to that mutant, that's not saying much. TD: I meant the move, Steve. [Monster executes an Irish Whip and sends Shark running towards Mr. Psycho, who almost takes Shark's head off with a vicious clothesline. Shark hits the mat hard, and Psycho goes for the cover. Monster dashes over and clocks Piranha with a right hand. The ref counts... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding! Big pop! Mistress climbs the ring steps and enters the ring. She goes to collect Monster, then brings him to the center of the ring. Psycho remains on top of Shark, snarling in his face.] RA: Here are your winners, Domination! TD: Wow. What a showing... SR: Really? Damn... I missed it... Maybe if she undid one of those buttons... TD: No, the team, Steve... A showing from Domination. SR: Oh, I see. Ummm, sure, they were okay. TD: You know, Steve... SR: Yes, I do. Now be quiet. TD: Okay, I understand that the satellite link is up, so we can now go live to the Premier of Newfoundland, the honourable Brian Tobin. SR: They have satellites in Newfoundland?! TD: Stop that, Steve. We're also joined by Simon Lebec, who is back in the locker room preparing for his match later on with the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi. [The shot splits three ways in a triangular pattern: at the top, Dross and Roberts at the broadcast table; at the bottom, on the left, Simon Lebec in his locker room, sporting a very short haircut, and on the right, Premier Brian Tobin, standing on a glacier wearing a survival suit, fishing pole in hand.] SL: Good evening, Dross. As promised, I have delivered. BT: 'Ow's it goin', peoples of da civilized world? TD: Very well indeed, Mr. Tobin. Now, sir, you are here today for what reason? BT: Well, Mr. Lebec 'ere promised to give da whole tribe colored beads, as well as some of dem modern shotguns, so's we don't hafta use da little ones as bait when we's hunts bears anymore. TD: I... see. Mr. Tobin, did you see the incident... BT: Inciawhat? Lord Jesus b'y, quit using dem big words! I flunked outta da university twice. I'se a dumb as a post, I am. TD: Sorry. Did you see what happened at Ring Wars II? BT: No b'y, I didn't. But Mr. Lebec 'ere told me what happened, and I must say that I am absolutely disgusted, even more so than da time I got wrecked on da hash and woke up next to Chris Quigley's missus. Wish I could forget dat one, me son!! I knows one thing....and dat's dat Mr. Lebec has been nothin' but da gentlemen to us good people of Newfoundland. I'll admit, we's are dumb people. I'll admit, we's are lazy people. I'll admit, we's are ugly people. But Simon Lebec has been like Christ himself in tryin' ta help us. He's given us books with pretty pictures to look at. He give us a black and white TV, so's we can catch "Welcome Back Kotter" just like da rest of ya!! He even agreed to take half of da land mass. With da land, he's in da process of signing an agreement with da U.S., so they can ship garbage from New York to here. I mean, we got so much land and they don't, it only makes sense right? SL: A little note here, Dross, that I'm not making a cent on this agreement. TD: Yeah, right. BT: Now, since Mr. Lebec has done so much, I feels it me obligation as Premier to revoke da citizenship of Chris Quigley. He is no longer allowed to set foot on dis land, or he shall be repremanded. Furthermore, I'd like Mr. Lebec to accept 15,000 more sq./km of our land as compensation for Quigley's actions. TD: Wha...? SL: Thank you, sir. It could really come in handy. Remember that nuclear testing that I was telling you about? I think I smell more shiny beads coming your way, Mr. Tobin. BT: He's so good to us!! TD: What?! You've revoked the citizenship of Chris Quigley? How can you do... [suddenly, Tobin's third of the screen fuzzes to blackness.] SL: Sorry, Dross. Guess those Newfies can't even operate a TV camera. TD: Mr. Lebec, how can you revoke the citizenship of Chris Quigley? SL: It's real simple, Dro... [Suddenly Lebec is distracted by the door being broken down. Lebec quickly darts out of shot, and the shot crazily swings round to the locker room door. A boot comes through it, and soon Chris Quigley, dressed in street clothing, bursts through. He screams, "Where is he?!" and knocks the camera as he pushes past. A loud crash is heard, and the camera again unsteadily swings round, and we see that Lebec has nailed Quigley over the head with a steel chair. Lebec wields the chair above his head again, and drives it down into Quigley's ribs.] TD: No! This is horrible! Somebody get back there and help! SR: I'll go! I'd love to kick the snot out of Quigley. TD: You stay right there, Steve! The chair -- yow! [Lebec continues to beat on Quigley with the chair, then throws it aside, and picks the stunned Quigley up by the scruff of the neck, and drives him headfirst into a mirror, shattering the glass. Quigley slumps to the floor, bleeding from several lacerations across his forehead. Lebec continues to kick Quigley in the midsection amidst all the broken glass. Various shouts of officials, as well as groans from Quigley and laughter from Lebec, can be heard. Lebec pulls a row of lockers away from the wall, and they fall on Quigley, trapping him. Lebec stamps on his head.] TD: Ow! This is dreadful -- hang on... who's that?! It's Dan Kauffman! SR: No way! I thought those two hated each other?! [Kauffman dashes onto the scene, the camera being jogged by his arrival. He nails Lebec with a hard right hand, and wields the chair in his direction. Lebec backs off, and Kauffman, assisted by a few of the less timid officials, lift the lockers off Quigley, and try to help him to his feet. He shouts and yells, pushing away the helping hands, and struggles to his feet on his own, his blood-stained face red from top to bottom. Kauffman pushes the camera out of the locker room. Cut back to ringside.] TD: Well... I don't know what to say, folks. It seemed last week at Ring Wars II that Kauffman and Quigley were destined for a showdown, but now Kauffman has come to Quigley's aid, perhaps they'll make up. SR: I wouldn't count on it, Dross. Those two guys are so set in their ways, I wouldn't be at all surprise to hear Quigley badmouth Kauffman for trying to help him. Those two morons are about as stupid as you can get without saying, "We're gonna make you flood!" TD: It seems that Quigley has been on the receiving end of some tremendous beatings recently. He was seriously concussed following that Battle Lines Battle Royal just before Ring Wars II, and went into the Hoosier Dome not fully recovered. He still managed to be the star performer on his Wargames team, eliminating three men single-handedly, but then tempers flared between him and Kauffman, and it looked like their friendship was over. However, Kauffman was first to come to Quigley's aid here tonight... who knows what's next for those two? SR: Okay, okay. Enough of the history. Let's have some action. TD: You got it. Let's go up to the ring for the debut of Onslaught, the mysterious crimson warrior who cost Fisto Flash a victory last weekend at Ring Wars II... you're not going to believe this guy, folks. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Onslaught vs. Jumpin' Jack -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the spotlight in the ring and raises his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, hailing from the Centre Ring, and weighing in at 249lbs, here is Jumpin' Jack! [A ridiculous-looking wrestler in clown's garb and face paint leaps up and down in the ring, and squirts Sparkplug Lee in the face with water from the fake flower on his lapel.] SR: Gee, what a sense of humour. TD: I understand that this prelim wrestler is having a hard time getting any bookings on Midweek Mayhem because of Larry Morton's phobia. SR: That guy is such a total feeb. TD: A what?! RA: And introducing his opponent... Making his IIWF debut, hailing from Mexico City, Mexico, and weighing in at 229lbs, here is: Onslaught! [Mixed pop as the arena is plunged into darkness. A few red lights pick out red smoke emerging from the entrance at the head of the aisle. A brilliant red light illuminates the entranceway, and the silhouetted figure of Onslaught appears. Red light illuminates the aisle as he walks calmly down to the ring, ignoring the fans. He climbs the ringsteps, then bounds to the top turnbuckle and flips into the ring before spraying a red mist out of his mouth into the sky.] SR: Something has _got_ to be done about that guy's breath. [The lights rise once more, and Onslaught looks across the ring at his opponent, who squirts some more water in the scarlet athlete's direction. They square off in the middle of the ring, and Onslaught quickly fires Jack into the ropes, hitting with a Frankensteiner. Pop! He leaps to the top turnbuckle and bides his time, waiting for Jack to rise, then hits with a bulldog from the top rope! Big pop! He drags the clown to his feet and executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.] TD: It's been all offense from Onslaught thus far. SR: I expect his bad breath has knocked that poor guy out. TD: Hang on -- Onslaught is dragging Jumpin' Jack up to the top buckle with him! What's he going to do? [Onslaught executes a devastating powerbomb off the top rope! Huge pop! He covers Jack in the centre of the ring - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The referee raises Onslaught's arm in victory as the theme from "Dune" starts up over the PA.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, by pinfall: Onslaught! [The crowd once again gives a mixed pop as the lights drop and the ring is illuminated by the deep red lights of the rig above the ring. Suddenly, however, a huge figure rolls into the ring under the bottom rope, and a brawl breaks out between the big man and Onslaught. The lights quickly rise again.] TD: It's Fisto Flash in there! SR: Go Fisto! Kick that dragonbreath's butt! [A security team dashes down to the ring and tries to break up the warring athletes, but they continue to battle intermittently up the aisle. Eventually, order is restored, and the crowd settles down again.] TD: Well, that was a short match... but I have a feeling that the dispute between Fisto Flash and Onslaught won't be over so quickly. SR: I heard some interesting rumours about this Onslaught guy, Dross. From what my sources tell me, he's come to the IIWF trying to avenge some past wrong perpetrated by Fisto Flash. Of course, I don't believe a word of it. TD: Hang on, Steve... Here comes the Lady DeWinter again. SR: Mmmm.... [DeWinter sashays down to ringside, and takes a seat by the timekeeper's table, flanked by burly security guards. The crowd give her the customary mixture of heel pop and wolf-whistles. She sneers at the fans at ringside with disdain, particularly one young adolescent male holding a "Marry Me Milady!" sign.] TD: I can only assume she's out here scouting one of the men scheduled up next. We've already seen more than enough of Simon Lebec tonight, but he's going to be facing the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi in just a few moments. Let's go up to the ring. SR: Mmmm.... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring. He bows to Lady DeWinter.] RA: Milady, ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the aisle, hailing from Hollywood, California, and weighing in at 239lbs, accompanied by Francois, here is "Showstopper" Simon Lebec. [Big heel pop for Lebec as he appears at the top of the aisle. He stops at the entranceway and runs his hand over the remainder of his hair before shaking his head in disdain at the fans.] TD: These people out here aren't at all impressed with the way Lebec attacked Chris Quigley earlier on tonight... SR: Who cares what these peons think? It was great! [Lebec walks round to Lady DeWinter and bows to her. She offers him her hand, which he takes and kisses before climbing the ringsteps and entering the ring.] RA: And introducing his opponent: hailing from Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 211lbs, here is the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [Big face pop for Musashi as the lighting become subdued and the strange, cosmic Oriental-sounding music begins to waft through the crowd. He appears at the head of the aisle, his silver facepaint glinting in the shifting hues of the slowly-swirling spotlights. Fireworks shoot up from above the entranceway into the rafters of the Coliseum, appearing to trigger a chain reaction of brightly-coloured explosions high above the excited crowd. He climbs the ringsteps and enters the ring, bowing to Lebec as he does so. The lights rise once more, and the two men prepare to face off.] TD: Musashi's coming off the back of a highly controversial loss last weekend at Ring Wars II, when, despite video evidence that showed both wrestlers hitting the mat at the same time, the IIWF President ruled that Hakiro Matsuoko had won their Log Scaffold grudge match. SR: First good decision the President ever made, I reckon. TD: Well, President Dan will have his say later on tonight, but first, the Enigma has to try and revive his winning ways, and Lebec has already shown us that he's not in the mood for playing games. [The two men circle one another, and lock up collar and elbow. Lebec pushes Musashi into the ropes, and the Enigma ducks under a clothesline attempt. As he bounces back once more, he slides through Lebec's legs, leaps to his feet, and floors the Showstopper with a dropkick. Musashi applies an octopus hold, and Lebec yells out in pain. Meanwhile, there is a scuffle at the head of the aisle, as a security team attempts to restrain a bloody-faced figure. Big pop as the crowd realise who it is!] TD: That's Quigley up there! SR: What a moron! He could barely walk after that beating he took from Lebec earlier on tonight, and now he wants more?! You're kidding me. TD: Well, it seems that the security team are managing to force him back to the locker room, but you've got to believe that Lebec isn't always going to be that lucky. [Lebec manages to grab the ropes, and Musashi breaks the hold. Lebec pulls himself to his feet, but instead of giving a clean break, lashes out with an elbow to Musashi's midsection. He grabs Musashi's tights, and executes a neat slingshot suplex, bouncing Musashi off the ropes and back into the ring with tremendous impact. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Musashi kicks out! Lebec drags the dazed Musashi to his feet, and winds him up for a short-arm clothesline. Lebec begins working on Masushi's knee, stretching his hamstring and generally trying to incapacitate the Enigma's leg. Lebec stomps on the Enigma's knee, and looks to Lady DeWinter on the outside for approval. She gives him no reaction whatsoever, and Lebec goes to work on Masushi even more. He drags the Enigma to his feet and whips him into the ropes, flooring him with a drop toe-hold. The Enigma rolls out of the way of an attempted elbowdrop, and pulls himself to his feet. He attempts to catch Lebec with a high kick, but the Showstopper grabs his leg, and Masushi nails Lebec with an impressive enzuigiri, sending Lebec through 360 degrees! Big pop!] TD: This is the Enigma's chance to regain the advantage, but that kick with his weakened leg seems to have taken quite a bit out of him as well as out of Lebec. [The crowd chants "E - nig - ma! E - nig - ma!" as Musashi pulls himself to his feet and climbs to the top turnbuckle as Lebec lies motionless in the ring. He sizes Lebec up, and launches himself with a springboard moonsault, landing hard on his opponent. Big pop! Musashi makes the cover - 1 - suddenly, a pair of men leap over the crowd barrier and enter the ring, attacking Musashi and Lebec apparently indiscriminately. One of the men has straight jet black hair down to the back of his neck, and also has a small pointy beard and a jagged scar running from below his left eye to the centre of his chin. His arms are covered in tattoos of satanic looking runes. The other is a bulky, snarling beast, with an inverted crucifix apparently branded on his forehead. His head is shaved and covered with tattoos of satanic runes, and a close-up of his manic face reveals crazed bloodshot eyes, and overall he looks more beast than man. Together, the two men in black set about both men in the ring, and Lebec is quickly pulled out of the crossfire by Francois. As Francois helps his boss back up the aisle, he is passed by "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, who makes his way down to ringside, a huge smile on his face.] TD: Who are these guys?! What's McQueen doing out here?! SR: Whoever those guys are, they're sure impressive. Look at the number they're doing on Musashi! TD: It's absolute chaos here in the Coliseum tonight, folks. It seems that every match has to end in outside interference... something is going to have to be done. Especially right now! We need some help out here... just look at McQueen, directing those two monsters and laughing away. What a vindictive... so-and-so! [A security team again dashes down to ringside, and tries to pull the two men in black out of the ring. Various security personnel are tossed aside or knocked from the ring, and the two monsters continue their assault on Musashi, dragging him to his feet, one man holding him while the one with the huge scar on his face jabs him with body punches and kicks. The crowd are going nuts as the security team attempts to regroup on the outside.] SR: I wonder whether the IIWF's security teams are paid danger money? TD: They'd better be paid overtime, too, after all the -- hang on, it's Domination! Domination are coming to ringside! SR: [sarcastic] Yay, whoopee. [Mr. Psycho and Monster dash down to the ring to a big pop. They roll under the ropes into the ring, and immediately engage in a brawl with the two big men, who seem to forget about Musashi. A couple of officials drag the semi-conscious Musashi out of the ring and check on his condition. Meanwhile, in the ring, Domination seem to get the better of the men in black, flooring them with a series of bodyslams and double clotheslines. The men in black roll out of the ring and gather around McQueen, who is shouting abuse at Domination from the arena floor. He backs away up the aisle, his men in black following.] SR: So what brought those two oversized, underbrained cretins out here, Dross? TD: Well, we know that Domination are good friends with IIWF World Tag Team Champions, Rising Sun Revolution. Perhaps they're also friends with the "Enigma"... Musashi doesn't look to be in good shape, folks. He's having to be helped back up the aisle. SR: At this rate, half of the IIWF's roster will be on the injury list before the end of tonight's card! TD: Things are certainly getting out of hand here. Now is certainly not the time to have question marks hanging over the allegiance of the IIWF President. Anyway, folks, it's time for tonight's next interview. Can you cope down here for a few minutes, Steve? SR: Where would I be without you, Dross? No, don't answer -- I'll tell you: a damned sight better off! Now get out of here! TD: [sighs] [Dross leaves the announcers' table, passing the Lady DeWinter, who is still in situ at the timekeeper's table. He addresses her, but she simply ignores him. Dross shrugs and takes the house mic before entering the ring.] TD: Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce a man who has been heating up the IIWF, and who has been doing his best to keep the heat on Brian Lau and his Syndicate... I am, of course, talking about the White Phoenix, Shinja Chow! [A curtain of flame flares up, completely covering the entranceway. A gong crashes, and the White Phoenix flies through the flames with an aerial somersault. He runs to the ring, slapping hands on the way, and leaps over the ropes. Flames shoot out of the four ringposts.] TD: Phoenix, you've certainly been keeping yourself busy. Your conflict with Brian Lau and the Syndicate keeps heating up. You assert that he is responsible for the actions of his father, and also for the alleged attack on your dojo and the death of your teacher. This has caused some controversy. WP: It is the way of old that the son take on the sins of his father, and is punished for them accordingly. This is not a popular belief in these modern times, but it is still appropriate for this situation. As to my dojo in San Francisco, Lau, you have spoken of being in the city with "business partners." Such a wonderful phrase for such wretched people. I have done my research on you, Lau. Have you ever seen fire consume a house? It seeks the darkest corners, looks into the most hidden places to find the secret fuel. I have done the same, Lau, and I have found your secrets. The "partners" who you speak of were Triad scum, gangsters and criminals. My master refused to pay their protection fee, so he was killed. Don't try to hide yourself with an image of decency. The truth will eventually shine through. TD: It appears that Brian Lau may be able to exert some influence over IIWF officials, including the IIWF President [crowd boos], given the events last weekend at Ring Wars II. Do you have any comments about this? WP: [laughing] Lau, you make my job so easy! Even if the people do not accept the previous reasons, surely now we have proof of your dishonor. You have used your considerable funds to influence the President of the federation, and you cannot deny it. The evidence is clear, first in the Log Scaffold Match where you cost my friend Tazeko Musashi both the win and his honor [a video clip of the end of the match rolls, showing that Musashi and Matsuoko hit the mat at the same instant], and later, during the Intercontinental title cage match [video clip of Joe Latta opening the lock while Casey James talks to the President], when your men somehow got a copy of the key that only Dan Spreadbury was supposed to have. It is time for you to face the truth, Brian Lau, and pay for your crimes. TD: You must remember, though, that your actions at Ring Wars were not exactly honorable, either. If you will recall, you walked out on your teammates during the Wargames matchup. WP: To my allies, I must apologize. I allowed my anger at The Angel of the Sun to take command of my thoughts. Perhaps the fate of the alliance of light was doomed from the beginning, with the tensions and egos involved. But nonetheless, the proper team took the victory. I do hope that Dan Kauffman, Chris Quigley, the Subway Psycho, and the rest of my teammates will accept this apology. [He clasps his hands together and bows deeply, eliciting a cheer from the crowd.] TD: Am I correct in assuming that you also came to this interview with a challenge? WP: Yes. I have delayed too long. Tiger Claw and Hakiro Matsuoko, I hereby challenge you both to a match in a flaming steel cage. If I win, you, Tiger Claw, will grant me a championship match. I am one of the top-rated wrestlers in the federation, and I deserve a chance to earn the title. If I lose, I will cease all actions against your manager. I will not harass him in any way, though it will pain me much to do so. TD: A handicap match, in a flaming steel cage? Are you nuts? WP: It is the only way in which I can decisively prove that the Syndicate members are weak in spirit and mind. When I leave the scorched bodies of Tiger Claw and Matsuoko laying in the center of the ring, the world will finally see their disgrace, and these people [he makes a sweeping gesture to the crowd] will see that the money and power of Lau and the Syndicate can never defeat honor and passion! [The crowd gives a big pop.] TD: I only hope for your sake that you know what you are doing. Hopefully, we'll hear back from Tiger Claw and Hakiro Matsuoko about that challenge soon. Do you have anything else to say? WP: Yes I do. [He takes the microphone from Dross and emits a loud cry, a perfect imitation of an eagle's cry. Flamepots erupt once more from the four ringposts, as the crowd pops madly. He hands the microphone back to Tim Dross and walks calmly back to the locker room, giving high-fives to his fans along the way. Dross leaves the ring and rejoins Roberts at the broadcast table.] SR: That guy is either seriously unbalanced, or seriously stupid. Challenging the Syndicate to a Flaming Steel Cage Handicap Match?! TD: I know, Steve... anyway, we're running behind, folks, so let's get straight back to more action. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Marty Warnett vs. Robski -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Well, we're about to see the rookie sensation of the IIWF in action against Robski. This match between these two English superstars should be great. Warnett has really shown his courage by taking on the Syndicate... SR: What do you mean? Warnett knows that the Syndicate is busy with the Dark Knights, Dross. He's just talking trash to make himself look good. You know how it is... If you want respect, you take on the biggest opponent. Win or lose, people will respect your guts. But I see through this whole thing... I can't wait for the Syndicate's answer to Warnett's challenge. [Heel pop starts up.] TD: I think you may get your chance. Here comes the turncoat himself, Casey James. [Casey walks down to the ringside area and makes a bee line for the broadcaster's table.] SR: Casey! Hey, Casey, take a seat. Grab some headphones... TD: Steve... Do we have to? CJ: You'll do whatever I want you to do, rug-boy. I want to see this little puke Warnett in action. before I put his ass in a sling. SR: Does that mean you accept the match on Wednesday? CJ: Damn right. Nobody says stuff like that about the Syndicate and gets away with it. Brian has given me permission to take care of this puke. If my schedule allows for it, I'm going to pound this kid into the pavement. TD: Well, that's all fine and dandy, but we've got a match to call here... Let's get down to the ring. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 245 lbs and hailing from Cardiff, Wales, here is Maaarrrrtyyyy Waaarnnnneeeeett! ["Cold Gin" blares over the speakers, and Warnett walks down the aisle to the ring. A group of young girls go crazy when he walks by, and he makes a modest bow. Warnett gets to the ring and notices Casey at the table, who waves at him with a cruel smile on his face.] CJ: Hello, there, you little wanker... Enjoy walking while you can! [Warnett looks around for any other guest spectators, and after being satisfied that no other Syndicate members are around, flips off Casey.] CJ: Why, that little puke... You know, I don't know who his trainer is, but whoever told him that J.D. is the breakfast of champions was dead wrong! This kid's got a loud mouth, and I'm going to have it wired shut. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 335 lbs and hailing from Birmingham, England, here is Robskiiiii!!! [Robski comes out into the aisle with an American flag and stops for a moment. He pulls out a lighter and touches the flame to one corner of the flag, and the whole thing goes up.] CJ: That's the thing about those American flags... Poor quality. Look at how that cheap rag went up. [The flag burns quickly, and goes out after a short time. Robski laughs at the booing crowd and flips the bird... Suddenly, a well muscled black man dressed in the red white and blue runs out weilding Old Glory. He hits Robski in the back of the head, then begins to choke him with the flag itself.] TD: Hold on, here! Who is _this_ guy? CJ: Some idiot patriot with too much time on his hands. SR: Those tights kind of remind me of yours back in the old days, Casey. CJ: Don't remind me. [The flag wielder continues to choke Robski out. Robski appears to be turning blue, and his tongue begins to hang out of his mouth. The patriot drags Robski to the ringside area and lets go of the choke. He cracks the flagpole across the back of Robski's head, then throws him into the ring. The ref looks around confused, as does Warnett. Warnett shrugs and rushes in, locking on a headlock. The ref also shrugs, then calls for the bell, starting the match.] CJ: Oh, now _there's_ a class act by Warnett. Going after a guy that's already been beaten up. TD: Like you've never done that. SR: Show some respect, Dross. Casey here's the best thing going in the IIWF. TD: Or not... [Warnett bounces Robski off the ropes, and hits him with an elbow on the rebound. Warnett quickly executes a Russian leg sweep, bouncing the English Sensation's head off the mat. The crowd pops as Robski clutches the back of his head. Robski doesn't seem intent on getting up, and Warnett drops a leg on him. Robski rolls around even less, and Warnett quickly goes for "The End", his patented figure four leglock. The ref looks to Robski for the submission, and doesn't have to wait long. The ref calls for the bell... Ding! Ding! Big Pop!!] TD: Wow! What an impressive showing by Warnett! CJ: Sure... If you were an idiot... Warnett didn't beat Robski... That goof with the flag did. Typical of Warnett... Capitalizing on someone else's work... SR: Well, that's what he's doing with the Syndicate, Casey. TD: Oh, please... [Warnett gets up and points at Casey, mouthing, "You're next."] CJ: Yeah, right, you little puke. I've got you on Wednesday, Warnett. You'd better be training with someone other than Jack Daniels, because I'm going to make you whimper... Black Death is upon you, little man. [Casey gets up from the table and flexes for Warnett, who spins his finger in the air, mouthing, "Big deal!" Casey continues to berate Warnett as he walks up the aisle, and Warnett just stands in the ring brushing off Casey's insults. The crowd pops as Warnett raises his arms to the crowd. He leaves the ring and walks back up the aisle slapping hands on the way.] TD: Well that was certainly a lot of hot air from the Blackhearted one. SR: Watch your lip, Dross. If Casey says he's going to do it, then he will. I don't doubt him for a second. TD: I don't doubt his skills, Steve. Since joining the Syndicate, he's definitely a dangerous individual. It's just that he seems to rely on his stable mates for the win most of the time. SR: Hey, if you've got the opportunity, why not use it? TD: Well, many people believe that he wouldn't be able to beat someone like Warnett on his own. SR: We'll see on Wednesday, Dross. TD: I guess so... On another note, what about that guy? I guess we'll call him the Patriot right now... SR: I don't know how he figured he had any business coming out and attacking Robski tonight. I mean, he could have killed the English Sensation. TD: A lot of people wouldn't mind that result too much, Steve. SR: Oh, ha ha. Well, you can bet money on the fact that Robski will take care of that "Patriot" soon. I guarantee that Robski isn't too happy about getting beaten like this tonight. TD: I'll be very interested to hear just who that man is. Right now, though, let's go to some comments from the Arabian Knights as they prepare for tonight's big Manager Leaves Town match with the Pain Inc.: [The camera cuts to a darkened room, the only light coming from a single lantern. A figure approaches the camera; it is the Grand Vizier, manager of the Arabian Knights.] GV: So the time has come for my mighty Arabian Knights to once again wipe the floor with those pathetic individuals Pain Inc. But not only this, there will be an added bonus! YES! the removal from the IIWF of that odious individual Mr. Mic! It was obvious from the start that your days in the IIWF would be numbered and now we are finally going to put you out of your misery! [The Vizier laughs maniacally.] My Knights have been training extra hard this week, and are now in the best shape of their wrestling careers! No one will be able to stop us now. [Maniacal laughter.] YES! We are now on our way to the very top! Once we have disposed of you pathetic excuses for wrestlers, Pain Inc., we will demand a shot at the Tag Team titles. How can we be refused? The Arabian Knights are by far the best tag team here in the IIWF, and there is no doubt that we will win the belts -- especially if we have the opportunity to step into the ring with those second rate Japenese wrestlers Rising Sun Devolution! I'm so excited I just can't wait....... [As the picture fades, the Vizier's maniacal laughter can be heard. Cut back to the ring.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MANAGER LEAVES TOWN MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Pain Inc. vs. Arabian Knights ----------------------------- TD: These two teams have been at each other's throats since they arrived in the IIWF. More specifically, the two managers have been less than friendly towards each other. SR: Well, that's about to come to an end, because one of them gets to hit the road after this match. I'm not sure who to cheer for. TD: Well, that's good. You're supposed to be impartial. SR: [mocking] Supposed to be impartial... [serious tone] What are you, like the journalist's rulebook or something? RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this special tag team match is scheduled for one fall. The loser of this bout will have their manager leave the IIWF for good. [Good crowd pop] TD: It seems that the fans aren't broken up about one of these managers leaving. RA: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 585 lbs and hailing from Jakarta, Indonesia. They are accompanied to the ring by their manager, Mr. Mic. They are Hellraiser, Morningstar, Pain Incorporated!!! [Pain Inc's theme music begins to play over the PA, and Mr. Mic leads his men out from the backstage area. Mr. Mic doesn't seem bothered at all by the fact that his career as an IIWF manager might come to an end tonight.] TD: A pretty confident look on the face of Mr. Mic. SR: Well, look at his team. I'd be confident too. TD: I wouldn't be too sure about that after Ring Wars II, which is available on video by the end of the week. Contact your local video store. SR: You'd plug your own toupee if you thought it would make you money, Dross. RA: Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 595 lbs, and hailing from Ar Riyad, Saudi Arabia. They are accompanied to the ring by The Grand Vizier. They are Prince Abdul Akbar and Omar, The Arabian Knights! [The Grand Vizier leads his men to the ring. He seems to be chanting under his breath while they walk down the aisle. Prince Abdul shouts insults at the crowd, while Omar is his normal quiet self.] TD: Omar is always down to business when he gets into that ring. He's like a beating machine. SR: Hehe... Beating machine... TD: Never mind. [The Arabian Knights enter the ring, and are immediately jumped by Pain Inc. The Grand Vizier and Mr. Mic remain on the outside while Morningstar pounds on Abdul, and Hellraiser attempts to mount an offense on Omar. Abdul is thrown over the top rope, and he comes crashing to the floor. Omar is then double teamed, but the two men of Pain Inc. can't seem to even stagger the big man. Omar starts taking shots at each of the men one after the other with a right fist. MS is the first on to fall to the mat. Omar whips HR into the ropes, and executes a belly-to-belly suplex on the return. Big pop. MS rolls out of the ring and on to the apron. Omar crouches over HR and lays a series of shots into his head. The crowd pops. Omar is about to come off the ropes when he seems to notice something in the crowd. He stops, and looks at something in the ringside seating area. HR drags himself to his feet and executes a superkick to the back of Omar's head.] TD: Ouch! That's what you get when you allow yourself to get distracted like that! What caught Omar's attention? SR: I don't know, but it doesn't look like he's going to suffer for it. That superkick didn't even have an effect! [Omar turns to face HR, and HR backs up a bit, eyes wide. Omar runs in with a clothesine that flips HR over before he hits the mat. Omar walks over and tags in his partner. Abdul leaps over the top rope ans Omar continues to look into the crowd. His gaze seems to be fixed on a man in the third row. Abdul drags HR to his feet and throws him into the ropes, and comes off the ropes as well. Abdul executes a nice flying forearm, flooring HR. Abdul showboats to the fans, who boo him. On the outside, The Grand Vizier seems happy that his team is doing so well. Abdul drags HR up again and throws him into the ropes again. He executes a dropkick on the return, but HR grabs the ropes, and Abdul misses. He crashes to the mat, and HR tags in Morningstar.] TD: Bad news for Abdul. Morningstar is somewhat fresh right now. SR: I'm sure the Knights have something up their sleeve. [MS rushes into the ring and drags Abdul up to a vertical base. He throws Abdul into the ropes and kicks him in the stomach, doubling the Prince over. MS then jams a thumb into the throat of Abdul, sending him falling backwards. MS picks up Abdul and executes a backbreaker. Good pop. MS picks Abdul up again, but Abdul gouges an eye, and MS lets go. Abdul tries to go to his corner for the tag, but Omar doesn't seem to be paying attention. Abdul cuffs Omar in the back of the head, and Omar turns around. Abdul begins shouting at his bodyguard, but Omar just shrugs and points into the crowd. By this time, MS comes up from behind and executes a reverse thrust kick on Abdul. Abdul recoils in pain, and gets thrown out of the ring opposite his partner. The Grand Vizier, by this time, is beside himself, screaming at Omar to get in the ring and do something. While all attentions are on the Knights' corner, Apollo and Atlas Steele of Heavy Metal roll out from under the ring near Abdul.] TD: Wait a second... Get a shot of that! Get a camera on them! What are they doing here!? SR: Getting a good look at the competition... [Atlas and Apollo begin to work over Abdul, raining shot after shot on him, then Apollo holds down Abdul's legs, while Atlas drops a leg over the back of Abdul's head. Abdul stops squirming, and appears unconscious. He gets rolled into the ring by Apollo, and the two twins roll back under the ring. MS has recuperated enough to zero in on the Prince, and puts him in place in the corner. The Grand Vizier, on the other hand, jumps up on the apron to get in Omar's face. Finally, Vizier slaps Omar, which sets Omar off. Omar pops the Grand Vizier, which causes the manager to fall from the apron and lie and moan on the floor. MS climbs to the top rope, and executes a perfectly done moonsault. The ref goes for the count... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding!] TD: That's it! The Grand Vizier is out of the IIWF for good! SR: It's just too bad that he won't find out until tomorrow... He's out cold, Dross. [Mr. Mic jumps up on the apron to celebrate with his men, and Omar enters the ring. Pain Inc. give Omar a wide berth as he collects his partner and drapes him over his shoulder. Omar then goes out to the floor, and does the same with the Grand Vizier. Omar takes one last look into the stands, and motions slightly with his head. A man comes to ringside and jumps over the barricade. The two men walk back up the aisle, the stranger patting Omar on the back as Omar carries the two unconscious men.] TD: I'm not sure what's going on here, but I'll try to piece it together... Heavy Metal and Pain Inc. seem to have some sort of alliance... And there seems to be some dissention of the ranks of the Arabian Knights. Perhaps this mystery man is the solution to this puzzle. SR: Well, whatever all this means, one thing is certain. The Arabian Knights will not be managed by The Grand Vizier any more. In fact, they should pack his bags and send him back to Saudi Arabia. TD: I'm sure we're going to hear more about this in the next few days, folks. I'll try and get something for Tuesday's report. Check local listings for the time and channel in your area. SR: You just can't stop, can you? TD: Stop what? I don't know what you're talking about... Well, folks, let's take a look at the collector's Ring Wars II program... only $29.95 for 15 glossy pages of your favourite stars. SR: One more plug and I'm going to hit you. TD: What? Okay, folks, now it's my... er... honour and privelege... to be able to present to you the very first of a new interview segment here on IIWF Saturday Night. The... er... gorgeous Becky LaRue will interview "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. SR: Hehe... I almost feel sorry for the poor guy. He's already had a pretty bad evening. [Cut to an interview podium set halfway up the aisle. Tacky music plays as Becky rises from a chaise longue, standing resplendent in her flowing emerald green evening dress which complements her flame-red hair.] BL: Welcome, welcome. I'd like to introduce a little something that will soon become the highlight of your week. I'll be interviewing all the top IIWF personalities and asking the questions that you want to hear. I call it: LaRue's Lair! [Big pop from the crowd] My first guest is the man who has taken some very serious beatings lately, not least tonight at the hands of the folicularly-challenged Simon Lebec... the man who calls himself "Quickstrike"... Chris Quigley. [There is a big pop as Quigley, now fresh from the shower but beginning to show the dull coloration of bruises on his face and torso, walks out to the strains of "For Those About to Rock". He climbs the steps to the podium and stands there, looking very angry and impatient indeed.] BL: So, does it bother you that everyone hates you? CQ: I don't give a damn what the other wrestlers of the IIWF think of me! I'm not too fond of some of them, either. But everyone hates me? I don't think so! [turns to crowd] How about it? Does EVERYONE hate me? [Crowd responds with a huge pop as Quigley turns back to Becky] Y'see? Not everyone hates me... the people who matter to me think I am what I say I am... the BEST! BL: You seem to have developed a problem with Dan Kauffman, but he came and helped you out earlier tonight. What's with that? CQ: I don't remember asking Kauffman for any help. Kauffman sure as hell didn't help me last weekend in the Wargames match when I needed it. Dan Kauffman is JEALOUS. He went into Ring Wars thinking it was HIS team, and he was our main player... but then I took control. I took out three guys, and Kauffman couldn't stand it. I know it sounds far-fetched, and even out of character for me to say these things... but it's what I believe. He came crawling back tonight, trying to help me out, but Kauffman, get this: I don't need your help, pal. Chris Quigley stands on his own! [Pop! A few fans start up a "Kauff - man! Kauff - man!" chant.] BL: Then why did you take this moment to get on the wrong side of Simon Lebec? CQ: Simon Lebec has NO idea what he's getting into when he's messing with me! I've had it up to HERE with frustrations lately, not only in the IIWF, but everywhere else! Everyone wants a piece of Quickstrike, and as far as I'm concerned, they can come and try their luck... and, Lebec, you may have been very lucky tonight, but you're gonna find out pretty quickly that your luck has run out! You revoked my citizenship, huh? Well, I'm gonna go one better, you asshole, and I'm gonna revoke your CAREER! [Big pop!] BL: Let's change the subject, and talk about something much closer to my heart... like me, for example. Don't you think I should get a raise? CQ: For WHAT?! I think they should FIRE your sorry ass before you offend the hell out of someone and get the IIWF sued. BL: In light of the fact that you seem to spend a lot of time in other federations, why do you think you'll be able to get a belt in this one? CQ: I think it's pretty obvious that my skill level is on par with, or even better than everyone else in here. I'm not afraid to say it. You have some great wrestlers in here like Dan Kauffman, Takezo Musashi, or Deathbringer, but the fact remains, I think I'm the best there is, and I want to do everything I can to prove it. If that means kicking Otto Verhoeven's German ass to win that World title, so be it. [Big pop!] BL: [raises one eyebrow quizically] The World Title? CQ: You have a hearing problem, LaRue? The World title! The Cruiserweight tournament was a disapointment, but I still think it would've been a little bit of a letdown if I HAD won, because I would've been held back a little, by having the #2 belt in the IIWF, not the #1. BL: What can we expect in the future from you? CQ: Everything I've done so far has worked for me. Been beaten twice, BOTH times controversially, but look at what I've done! All the guys I've defeated, beating three guys in one night at Ring Wars. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Although I'm gonna make sure that when I'm done with you, Lebec, you're gonna be so broken up, nobody's going to be able to fix you, pal! [Pop! He takes the microphone from LaRue.] In fact, if you've got the guts, big man, come on out here right now and let's get it on! Come on, Lebec, let's have this out right here! [The crowd begins chanting "We want baldy! We want baldy!".] TD: I understand Lebec has left the building... I don't think we're going to see another confrontation tonight. SR: Quigley knows Lebec's gone, Dross, and that's the only reason he's challenging him, just so he looks good. What an ego. [Quigley turns to the crowd.] CQ: Do you see? Lebec's a coward. Lebec doesn't have what it takes to face the best wrestler in the world today in a fair fight. Well, Lebec, let me tell you something -- you may think you've got the upper hand right now, but believe me... when Quickstrike comes calling, you're gonna wish you never started this thing! I'm outta here! [Quigley thrusts the mic back at Becky, who looks more than a little annoyed as "For Those About to Rock" starts up again, and Quigley leaves to a big face pop. Noticably peeved at being forotten, Becky grandstands until she gets bigger support.] BL: I'll be back again next week talking to who ever I think you want to hear from. Till then, ta-ta. [Cut back to the announcers' table as Becky reclines once more on her chaise longue.] TD: Well, that was... informative. The ring staff have just about finished constructing the cage for tonight's Intercontinental Championship matchup. Before we go up to the ring for more action, let's go to some footage from earlier on tonight as I went backstage to get comments from the challenger, the Prince of Darkness: [Cut to footage of Dross standing backstage outside a closed locker room door. Dross tries the handle, but the door is locked.] TD: Well, folks, I've been trying to speak with the Prince of Darkness for some time now, but he's in seclusion until the big caged Intercontinental Title match tonight with Tiger Claw. As you will recall, these two have quite a history together, having fought an epic battle in their first match, a controversial win by Tiger Claw apparently sending the Dark Prince into retirement. However, the Dark Knight was then sensationally reinstated by Tiger Claw's manager, Brian Lau, in an effort to keep the peace between the Syndicate and the Dark Knights. All that blew up in Lau's face last Saturday night at Ring Wars II, when the Knights turned on the rest of the Alliance and sided with former IIWF Champion Deathbringer and the massive Archangel. A lot of strange things have happened in this war, to say the least. But going into this match tonight, two things are certain: firstly, the Prince of Darkness wants this title so badly that he's willing to put his IIWF career on the line for a second time; and secondly, Tiger Claw, like him or loath him, has without doubt been the most successful Intercontinental Champion in IIWF history. Both men have an "all or nothing" attitude towards this encounter, and it could well prove to be a classic. [Dross tries the door of the locker room again, but it is still locked. He steps out of shot, and the camera zooms in on the door, with its handwritten label "The Dark Knites". Cut back to ringside.] SR: For heavens' sakes! Someone teach the morons around here how to spell! TD: You don't have to be spelling bee champion to work out what's going to win this match: D - E - T - E - R - M... er... how do you spell "determination"? SR: You're such a moron, Dross. Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. Prince of Darkness ---------------------------------------------- [The camera swings around the four steel-bar walls of the twelve foot cage enclosing the ring. Sparkplug Lee stands by the timekeeper's table clutching his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following special cage match is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by his manager Dr. Faustus, the Sandman and the Archangel, hailing from parts unknown, and weighing in at 319lbs, here is: the Prince of Darkness! [Face pop for the Dark Knights as they appear at the head of the aisle. Lights strobe in time to "Boogie Man" by Aerosmith as the four men file down the aisle, led by Faustus. A very business-like PoD immediately enters the cage.] TD: The Prince of Darkness is certainly keen... SR: Yeah, keen to get his ass kicked. TD: Let's just run down the rules of this match: decisions by pinfall, submission and disqualification will all be valid in this match. On the one hand, Claw has to be pinned or be forced to submit in order to lose his title, but on the other, if the Prince of Darkness loses in any fashion, he'll be out of the IIWF for good. SR: And it won't be a moment too soon. That ingrate's been living on borrowed time handed to him by Brian Lau, and the payback's going to happen right here tonight. RA: And introducing the champion: accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau and the Syndicate, hailing from Thailand and weighing in at 220lbs, here is the three-time IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw! [Big heel pop for the Syndicate as they file down the aisle; Casey James leads the way along with Joe Latta, both men wearing T-shirts with obscene slogans, Claw following on behind, with Hakiro Matsuoko and Lau bringing up the rear. All five men look confident as they approach the ring. Claw hands the gleaming Intercontinental belt to Lau before climbing the ringsteps and entering the ring. The two men circle one another as the bell rings to signal the start of the match.] TD: Look at this, Steve -- the Knights and the Syndicate all surrounding the ring. This is a very volatile situation, right here. [PoD and Claw lock up, and the Prince immediately takes a power advantage, scooping Claw up and slamming him to the mat. He attempts an elbow drop, but Claw dodges out of the way, and stomps on the PoD for good measure. Claw drags the PoD to his feet, and attempts to whip him into the ropes, but the PoD counters, and sends Claw for the ride with tremendous force, so much so that Claw hits the steel cage headfirst, bouncing back onto the mat, stunned. PoD covers him - 1 - 2 - Claw narrowly kicks out! The crowd lets out a collective breath.] TD: Wow! It was very nearly over right there. Claw's got to try and keep out of the way of the PoD's power... in upper body strength, there are few people in the IIWF who can match him. SR: What Claw lacks in power he more than makes up for in brains, Dross. He won't be down for long. [PoD drags Claw to his feet and tries to set him up for an inverted piledriver, but Claw wriggles, scissoring the Prince's head with his legs, and using the mat as a springboard to flip PoD over and against the cage. Big heel pop! Both men lie motionless on the canvas. Suddenly, there is a commotion near one of the exits in the stands.] TD: Hang on, security are heading over to an exit in the ringside stalls... it's the Cadaver! Cadaver's in the Coliseum! SR: Whose side is _he_ on?! [Cadaver simply knocks the security team aside with vicious blows, and pushes onwards through the sea of intimidated fans, making a beeline for the ringside enclosure. The Sandman and Archangel see him coming and try to head him off. Meanwhile, in the ring, both men begin to stir, and PoD whips Claw into the ropes. Claw ducks under a clothesline and applies a crucifix on PoD, but fails to overbalance his huge opponent, and PoD simply drops backwards, effectively performing a fallaway slam on the champion. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Claw kicks out! PoD is distracted by the abuse yelled at him by Latta and James from the outside, buying Claw some precious time to recover.] TD: This could get out of hand very quickly here, Steve. Sandman and Archangel are in the crowd heading towards Cadaver, and -- hey! -- Casey James has started to climb the cage! He's going to get into the ring! [PoD has turned his attentions back to Claw, and doesn't see James climbing the cage. The lights in the arena flicker, and there is a huge pop as Deathbringer makes his way down the aisle. He is waylaid by Latta, who is given short shrift, rammed into the steel crowd barrier and slammed onto the concrete floor. The relentless Deathbringer goes after Casey James. Meanwhile, Cadaver and the Dark Knights meet in one of the aisleways amongst the fans, and a brawl breaks out. The referee, looking around in confusion, signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: This is chaos! We've got brawls going on all over the arena! Deathbringer's going after Casey James... Lau and Matsuoko are tending to Latta... the Knights and Cadaver are going at it in the crowd... and PoD still hasn't seen Casey James -- oh, he has now! [PoD turns from Tiger Claw and sees Casey James climbing over the top of the cage, down into the ring. He watches as Deathbringer grabs James by his hair and starts to pull him back up to the top of the cage, where a slugfest between the two big men begins. The crowd are popping like crazy! Claw gets to his feet and nails the PoD from behind with a back brain kick. Meanwhile, Cadaver throws chairs at the Knights, and uses every object that comes to hand as a weapon, wearing down the huge Archangel and the Sandman. He labels the Sandman over the head with a steel chair, and clips Archangel's knee with another deft swipe of the chair, before being surrounded once more by a second security team, who do their best to defuse the brawl.] TD: Cadaver's finally being escorted out of the arena... How does that guy keep getting past all the security teams here in the IIWF? SR: He probably tells them that he's the President of the United States, and they believe him. These meatheads aren't renowned for their exceptional brainpower... unless you're talking about exceptionally low brainpower, of course. TD: The bell rang long ago, but there's no end in sight to this brawl. Another security team is on its way to ringside... oh no! Hakiro Matsuoko is climbing the cage... and he's trying to pull Deathbringer away from Casey! SR: Whoa! [Both Hakiro and Deathbringer tumble from the cage to the arena floor, both men clattering against the steel crowd barriers, sending fans in the front few rows scattering. The Syndicate and Deathbringer are surrounded by security personnel.] TD: Perhaps now we're going to get some order restored here... I think this match will be declared a no contest, but we'll have to wait for official word -- hang on... I understand there's trouble backstage... We have a camera back there... [Cut to a corridor in the arena, which is getting progressively darker as a figure comes towards the handheld camera, smashing the wall-mounted lights with a steel chair as he approaches. The figure comes close enough to be identified.] TD: It's Dan Kauffman! What's he doing?! [Kauffman is yelling, "Come on! You want to come into Hell's Abyss?! Come right on, big man!" He wields his chair at the final light, when there are shouts from behind the camera. The shot swings round and Cadaver can be seen pushing past various security personnel, heading straight for Kauffman.] TD: No! SR: This is great! Come on, Cadaver! Take him out! [The two men meet in the middle of the corridor, and Kauffman swings the chair at Cadaver, who catches it and rams it into Kauffman's lower abdomen. Kauffman is bent double, and Cadaver, lightning-quick, executes the Death Drop on the prone athlete. He is again dragged away by security personnel as he growls, "Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust..." The camera follows the security team forcing Cadaver away, and then pans back to Kauffman, who is tended to by an official. His face is cut under his right eye from a piece of shattered glass, and he is bleeding from his nose. He moans groggily. Cut back to ringside.] TD: I've never seen anything like the scenes we've witnessed here tonight, folks. It's almost as if complete anarchy has descended upon the IIWF... SR: ...and I love it! As long as Quigley, Deathbringer and Kauffman all get their butts kicked every time they show up, things couldn't be better! TD: Well, folks, the brawl here at ringside has been dispersed, and the ring staff have removed that steel cage. The Intercontinental Championship match was indeed ruled to be a no contest, so Claw retains his title, and the Prince of Darkness sticks around for a little while yet. SR: He's damned lucky, Dross. The Dark Knights are in for a very rough ride at the hands of the Syndicate. TD: That's as maybe, but we've got to move on. We've seen plenty of Lord Byron and the Lady DeWinter around ringside tonight, but up next we're actually going to see him in action as he takes on "Nifty" Ned Norton. SR: You won't believe this guy, Dross. He's got a lot of class. TD: Yeah, and it's all low. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Lord Byron vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the spotlight in the centre of the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, hailing from Sweet Home Alabama, weighing in at 265lbs, here is "Nifty" Ned Norton! [Pop for Norton, who steps up onto the second turnbuckle and waves to the crowd, promptly losing his balance and tumbling back into the ring.] RA: And his opponent... [The Intermezzo from Sibelius' "Karelia" Suite starts up over the PA to a big heel pop] ...currently residing in New Orleans, accompanied to the ring by the Lady DeWinter, weighing in at 275lbs, here is: Looooord Byyyroooon! [Spotlights swivel towards the head of the aisle, where DeWinter and Byron appear. Lord Byron has his blond hair tied back. He has grey eyes, and a classic profile which would give him a fairly handsome appearance, if it wasn't for his trademark sneer. He wears black wrestling leggings with a Lancastrian red rose motif curling around the left thigh. He also carries with him his trademark brass-topped cane. He takes his time walking the aisle, ignoring the jeering fans. One fan with very little hair and a goatee beard throws a balled-up cup at Byron, but it misses him. Lady DeWinter glares at the over-enthusiastic fan.] TD: That fan looks kind of familiar. SR: He's probably the sad no-life type who follows the IIWF around everywhere it goes. Or perhaps he's Ned Norton's roadie. TD: Well, Byron's in the ring... it looks like we're ready to get this one underway. Let's see what Byron's made of. [Byron and Norton circle each other in the ring, and Byron immediately goes behind Norton with a hammerlock. He switches through by wringing the arm to a Russian leg sweep, then rolls over Norton, taking him with him, and traps him in a surfboard submission hold. Norton yells, and Byron releases the hold.] TD: What an impressive string of moves from Byron! SR: The guy moves like fluid in there, Dross. He's the best technical wrestler in the IIWF, for sure. [Norton gets to his feet, and the two men circle one another again. Norton lunges in, but Byron is quicker, nailing Norton with a volley of European uppercuts. He kicks Norton in the medsection, and hits with a backspin DDT, sending Norton's head crashing into the canvas. Byron nonchalantly rolls over Norton to make the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The referee tries to raise Byron's arm in victory, but Byron gives the referee a withering look and brushes himself off. He invites the Lady DeWinter into the ring, and she hands him his cane.] SR: Byron didn't show us even a fraction of his ring skills in that match, Dross. This guy's forgotten more about technical wrestling than people like Quigley or Kauffman will ever learn. TD: He certainly knows his way around the ring, but that match was simply too short to show us what Byron is really capable o... hey! No! He's attacking Norton with that cane! SR: Yeah! Go get him, Byron! [Byron drives the cane into Norton's ribs, and cracks him around the face with it. He laughs at the jeering fans, and bends to shout in Norton's face and slap him around. DeWinter, who seems terribly excitable, is enjoying herself immensely. However, their fun is cut short by the arrival of Marty Warnett, who streaks down the aisle to a big face pop.] TD: It's Marty Warnett! He and Byron sure got off on the wrong foot earlier on tonight... SR: No surprise there, Dross. A classless goon like Walnut isn't worthy of tying the bootlaces of an accomplished veteran like Byron. [Warnett rolls into the ring and nails Byron. A brawl between the two men breaks out, and Byron manages to gain the advantage through use of his cane, clotheslining Warnett with it, and hammering him with its brass top. The referee attempts to pull Byron away, but eventually, the Lord leaves the ring of his own accord, looking ruffled and annoyed. He and DeWinter make their way up the aisle, Byron ignoring the jeering fans, and DeWinter fussing about her man.] TD: What a disgusting display by Byron. The official's helping Warnett to his feet -- I don't think he's seriously injured. SR: Hehe... you could say that Marty Warnett's career nearly _cane_ to an end right there! TD: Oh, ha ha. Excuse me while my sides split. Anyway, Warnett looks mad, and he's heading back to the locker room. You can bet he'll be looking for Byron... Well, folks, it's finally time for tonight's big interview. Live from his offices at the IIWF's headquarters to answer all the speculation that has surrounded him this week, here is the IIWF President, Dan Spreadbury. [Cut to split screen: the announcers' table on the left; President Dan seated at his desk on the right.] SR: Hey, Dan the man! How's it hanging? TD: President Dan, thanks for being here tonight. DS: Good evening, gentlemen. TD: Well, where do we start? How d... DS: [interrupting] I'll tell you where we start, Tim. Let's start with all the talk that's been flying around the IIWF this week. Don't think that just because I've been in endless meetings with the IIWF's Board of Directors and the Legal Department that I haven't heard all the accusations people have been laying at my door. TD: [pause] Okay... taking things one at a time, perhaps you'd care to comment on the readmission of Rising Sun Revolution last weekend at Ring Wars II. There has been a lot of discontent in the locker room about that decision, teams feeling that they didn't get a fair crack of the whi... DS: [interrupting] I stand by my decision to allow Rising Sun Revolution to return to action here in the IIWF. You want to talk about a fair crack of the whip? Rising Sun Revolution were undefeated when they left the IIWF to return to Japan. They had more claim to those titles than either the High Plains Drifters or Stunt Team USA, whose conduct, I might add, has been exemplary, and yet I've had call after call from Josey Wales and Mr. Mic over the course of the week. Rising Sun Revolution are back in the IIWF, and they are the champs. Live with it, gentlemen. TD: Another controversial decision at Ring Wars II was your ruling in favour of Hakiro Matsuoko in the Log Scaffold Match, when all the video evidence we've seen shows that both Matsuoko and the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi hit the mat at the same time, surely rendering the match a draw? DS: I'm not at liberty to discuss that matter at this time. TD: But you said you'd answer our questions, Mr. Pre... DS: [interrupting] I'll answer whichever questions I choose, Tim. I've been up in front of panel after panel, defending my decisions. The last thing I want to do now is defend myself to you. TD: I understand, Mr. President, but surely we have a ri... DS: [firmly] Tim, let's move on. TD: Okay. Can you offer any explanation as to how the Syndicate came to have a copy of the key to the steel cage in the Hoosier Dome last Saturday night, costing Don Antonio the Intercontinental Championship? DS: I regret deeply that the Intercontinental Championship match at Ring Wars II ended the way it did. Believe it or not, I had very little control over that situation. As far as I knew, when I walked down to ringside for that match, I had in my pocket the only key for that lock. TD: With all due respect, Mr. President, can we really be expected to believe that? I mean, wh... DS: [interrupting, angrily] I find this incredible, Tim. I've been the President of this organisation since its inception, and I've always been fair, I've always tried to balance both sides of every story. And yet people just can't return the courtesy! Don Antonio fabricates some paranoid corruption theory, and suddenly, I'm on Brian Lau's payroll? Suddenly, _I'm_ the bad guy?! TD: Mr. President, please calm down. I didn't wish to accuse you of corruption. But you must admit that it certainly looked bad when you refused to speak with Larry Morton as you left the arena midway through Ring Wars II. DS: Frankly, I don't think it matters what I tell you. If I say that I left because I wanted to speak with my legal counsel as urgently as possible, you'll see that as an admission of guilt. If I say that I had to get to a local hotel to get Brian Lau's post-event party started, you'll see that as an admission of guilt. Let's just say that I had some very important business to attend to. I hope Larry doesn't hold any hard feelings. TD: President Dan, if you are trying to establish your innocence, why have you refus... DS: [interrupting] Establish my innocence?! I beg your pardon? I thought the American way was "innocent until proven guilty"! I think it's time we brought this interview to a close, Tim. TD: One last question, Mr. President. You protest your innocence, but you have remained silent all week... why? DS: After having been hauled up in front of the Board of Directors for hours every day, the last thing on my mind has been talking to journalists. SR: Mr. President, excuse me for butting in here. Is there any truth to the rumour that there's been some reshuffling in the IIWF's front offices? DS: There has been a major appointment made within the last seven days, yes. The IIWF has a new Vice-President, a man by the name of Steve Owens. SR: Is it also true that the Board of Director has passed many of your duties into the hands of this new Vice-President pending an investigation? DS: Let's put it this way: for months, I've been petitioning the Board of Directors for more front office staff, and for months, they've fobbed me off. Isn't it a coincidence that just when the heat is on, and I'm faced with all kinds of crazy allegations, they go and hire some new suit to take over many of my essential duties? Go figure. I'm not prepared to say any more on this matter. Goodnight, gentlemen. This interview is over. [The IIWF President signals to his cameraman to cut.] TD: President Dan, wai... the link's gone. [Cut back to normal shot of the announcers' table.] Steve, where did you pick up on that front office appointment? SR: I have my sources, Dross, and they tell me that the Board of Directors is trying pretty hard to squeeze Spreadbury out of his job. So far, they seem to be succeeding. TD: Well, to be honest with you, Steve, I'm having a hard time believing that President Dan is innocent. The evidence seems pretty conclusive, and none of the answers he gave us tonight seemed particularly credible. SR: I told you, Dross, the guy's wised up. Those suits can't handle it, and they want him out. From what I hear, the appointment of this new Vice-President is only the beginning. TD: Keep your ear to the ground, Steve. SR: You can count on it. TD: Well, folks, it's been a pretty chaotic night thus far here on IIWF Saturday Night, and we're heading towards tonight's main event: Billy Shakespeare will defend his IIWF Cruiserweight Championship against the man who has caused Shakespeare all manner of problems, right from his debut in the Cruiserweight Tournament, through to dredging up psychotic past girlfriends, as well as exhibiting somewhat questionable dress sense. I am, of course, talking about the "Badboy" Randy Acorn. However, as we saw in yesterday's report, Acorn seems to have put the fun and games behind him in order to make a serious run at the title. SR: Acorn's one of the wiliest competitors in the IIWF, Dross. He's been screwed over one too many times by Pukespeare -- tonight's payback time, I guarantee it. TD: We'll see in just a few short moments. Let's get up to the ring! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. "Badboy" Randy Acorn ------------------------------------------------------ TD: Well, this match has been brewing up for some time. In fact, we're expecting so much action that there's a technician in the ring tightening the ropes and the turnbuckles. [Shot cuts to a guy in coveralls tightening the turnbuckles with a wrench.] SR: You can expect a lot of technical mat wrestling in this one, as well as a few high spots. Both competitors are comfortable with either style. I just happen to think that Acorn has the drive to come out on top. TD: And your past experiences with Shakespeare have nothing to do with that prediction? SR: Of course not, Dross. I'm a professional. Unlike you... TD: Okay, Steve. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next Cruiserweight Championship bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, "Spotlight" Billllyyyyy Shaaaaakespeeeearrrrrre! ["Little Willy" plays over the speakers and the IIWF Cruiserweight champ appears at the head of the aisle to a sizeable pop. Billy bows deeply for the crowd, and jogs down to the ring, slapping hands on the way.] TD: This is a little strange. The champion usually comes out after the challenger. SR: Dross, with the way things have been going lately, you can't rely on old traditions. It's just chaos in the IIWF these days. TD: Good point, Steve. [Billy enters the ring and pats Sparkplug Lee on the back. Suddenly, the ring technician attacks Billy with his wrench, knocking the champ down. Lee jumps out of the ring and a referee scurries into the ring and immediately calls for the bell. The technician, who upon closer inspection turns out to be Randy Acorn, throws away his wrench and lays the boots to Billy. Acorn tears the CW belt from around Billy's waist and throws it into his corner, then drags Billy up for a nice vertical suplex. Billy crashes to the mat hard, and Acorn goes for the cover. 1 - 2 - Kickout by Shakespeare. Acorn drags Billy up again and throws him into the ropes. Billy ducks a clothesline and executes a dropkick on the rebound. Acorn goes down. Big pop. Shakespeare closes in on Acorn, and executes a body slam, which Acorn reverses into a small package. The ref counts... 1 - Kickout by Shakespeare.] TD: Well, a typical Acorn entrance has given him the advantage, but Billy isn't going to allow that to be the case for much longer. SR: Acorn is really on top of his game tonight. [Acorn gets up and waits for Billy to get to his feet, then drops him with a hard clothesline. Billy goes down, and Acorn locks on a stepover toehold. Billy kicks Acorn off with his free leg, and Acorn uses the momentum to bounce off the ropes and dropkick the kneeling Shakespeare. Acorn follows up with an elbow drop, then drags the champ up to his feet. Acorn scoots in behind Shakespeare and grabs his waist, hoisting Billy up in a German suplex. Acorn bridges, and the ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Shakespeare. The crowd rallies behind the champ as Acorn slaps on a Boston crab. Billy slaps the mat in pain, but shakes his head when the ref looks for the submission.] TD: Wow. The action is a mile a minute here! SR: But it's all Acorn in my book. It's only Billy's endurance that's getting him through the onslaught. [Billy powers himself up to stand on his hands, and walks Acorn back, facing the corner. Billy uses leg strength to reverse slingshot into the turnbuckle. Acorn hits the corner hard to a big pop. Billy gets to his feet, and seems to be favouring his left leg. Acorn turns to face the champ, and is met with a flying dropkick. Acorn is hit square in the jaw, and slumps into the corner. Billy climbs to the second turnbuckle and begins to lay shots into Acorn's head. The crowd counts along. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10! Billy jumps up and executes a monkeyflip, sending Acorn into the centre of the ring. Big pop. Billy comes off the ropes and hits with a splash on the prone Acorn. The ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Acorn. Billy quickly jumps up to his feet and drags Acorn up. He grabs Acorn by the hair and drags him to a corner, where he begins to ram Acorn's head into the turnbuckle repeatedly. Acorn reaches up and reverses the hold into a chickenwing, then ties up the other arm with a half nelson. Acorn links both hands together, and rams Shakespeare's head into the buckle, then suplexes him, using the same hold. Shakespeare is slammed backwards, and Acorn bridges. Billy manages to get a shoulder up, but Acorn still has the hold on him.] TD: What was that? SR: I've never seen that before. It looks like a law enforcement-type hold, but Acorn turned it into a suplex, then into a submission hold. I told you we were going to see a plethora of styles here. TD: A plethora? SR: Yes, a plethora. TD: Nice word. [Acorn lets go of the hold, and lets Shakespeare get up. Acorn throws him into the corner and follows in. Shakespeare grabs the top rope and hops to the top, allowing Acorn to run face first into the corner. Shakspeare slides down, putting Acorn into a sunset flip. The ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Acorn. Shakespeare gets to his feet and locks on a side headlock. Acorn squirms around, looking for an escape, but Shakespeare locks it on tighter. The pressure seems to weaken Acorn, and the ref check Acorn's arm. Acorn is definitely not out, since as soon as the ref grabs the arm, Acorn swats at him. Shakespeare lets go, and stomps on Acorn. There is a heel pop as Billy Sexton is seen walking down to ringside. Billy ignores him and drags Acorn up. Billy throws him into the ropes, and then comes off the ropes himself. Billy hits with a spinning hurricarana into a pinning situation. the ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Acorn! Billy drops a leg and rushes over to the corner to begin climbing the ropes. The ref checks to see if Acorn is all right, and Sexton, on the outside, grabs the CW belt. He runs over and up onto the apron near Billy and clocks him across the face with the belt. Billy falls to the mat, hitting his head hard. He doesn't appear to move very much. Sexton drops the belt and runs up the aisle.] TD: What!? Oh, come on! [The referee turns and sees Billy lying motionless on the mat. He looks on confused as Acorn crawls over and covers the champion... the heel pop is almost deafening as the referee drops to the canvas and makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _NEW_ IIWF Cruiserweight Champion: "Badboy" Randy Acorn! [Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: No! No! I can't believe it! Shakespeare's been deposed, thanks to Billy Sexton! SR: About time too! Randy Acorn will make a great champion! TD: And he's making a quick exit -- Acorn's grabbed the belt, and he's heading up the aisle. Just listen to these fans! Billy's still down in the ring... Folks, we're right out of time here. What a chaotic night it's been. The IIWF is in turmoil right now, and heaven knows what's going to happen next! Join Becky LaRue and Larry Morton on Tuesday for another look Inside the IIWF, when we'll try to get to the bottom of all the chaos that's gone down here in the Coliseum tonight... For "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut back to the ring as the official helps a furious Billy Shakespeare back to his feet. Shakespeare receives a big pop as he heads groggily but determinedly up the aisle after his attacker. Pan up to the huge IIWF banner hanging from the rafters. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+