[Fast-paced music is matched by equally fast-paced clips of IIWF action. As the final guitar chord is drawn out, Steroid clotheslines Rotundo #1 and the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "INSIDE THE IIWF" - October 22, 1996 =============================================== [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle and the studio audience do their best to get into the shot. One young fan wielding a souvenir Fisto Flash claw snarls at a younger boy and hits him over the head with the fist as his father laughs. A woman holds a poster which reads "I Ordered a Simon Lebec Paternity Kit But It Arrived Prematurely." Another woman stares at the camera like a deer in headlights while a rotund man in front of her sneaks a bite of her Billy Shakespeare Ice Cream Bar. Zoom to Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again everyone and welcome to the nation's number one wrestling news show... BL: "Live With Becky LaRue!" LM: Cut that out! It's "Inside the IIWF." I'm Larry Morton and alongside as always is my broadcast partner... BL: Aside from that we are in NO WAY affiliated! LM: ...Becky LaRue. What a night of action we had for you Saturday as the IIWF continues to be turned upside down. We have a NEW Cruiserweight Champion in "Badboy" Randy Acorn. A manager has been forced to leave the IIWF. Chris Quigley was the subject of a brutal attack by Simon Lebec. And just a week after Outlaw J.W. Hardin announced he was leaving the IIWF, another wrestler has fallen by the wayside. BL: Yep, Sabin Figaro found the going a little too tough in the IIWF... LM: Well, his contract was up anyway. BL: He calls himself "Royalty of the Street?" I guess that means he'll get an extra large box when he's homeless. Hehehehehehe... snort. LM: That's not funny, Becky. I understand we have a breaking news story involving a major IIWF stable. [The monitor behind Larry flickers to show a crowded room.] The Senator has called a press conference and we have picked up the feed from WKLA-TV in Los Angeles. Let's go to that press conference now: [Cut to the crowded press room at Los Angeles International Airport. The Senator, The Hangman, and The Atomic Destroyers stand at the podium. There are reporters and news crews from all over the world. A journalist in the third row offers the first question.] R1: Senator, can you tell us The Senate's plans? TS: I know all of this seems sudden to you all. However, let me say that the plan for this trip has been in the works since Hangman got his trophy from Fisto. The Hangman wanted to finish his feud prior to his departure on this tour. Now, with the Fist being sold, The Hangman feels that he can leave with no loose ends. R2: Hangman, can you.... [The Senator interrupts] TS: I will be the spokesman here. My boys are on a mission to take on the greatest wrestlers that the world has to offer. During this tour, they will not speak to anyone or anything that has to do with the media. This will be the last circus they attend. R2: Senator, can you tell us where you are headed? TS: We plan on making stops in all of the major markets and a few... as of yet unknown ones. R3: Why the sudden need to go elsewhere than the IIWF? As we all know, the IIWF has the world's best here already. TS: You are so right about the best wrestlers being here already. But if you so-called journalists were any good at what you did, you would realize that the IIWF is only so big. Not all of the wrestlers in the world can be here at the same time. So I am taking my men to them. The Senate is known around the world as one of the top groups in wrestling. R4: Anything else you would like to share with us? TS: I believe we have a few more minutes before the plane takes off. While on this trip, the main goal is to advance The Senate's knowledge of the different styles of wrestling. When we return from this tour to the IIWF, the boys will have the ability to take on any style that the booking committee can throw at them. The boys will come back even more mean and violent then they are already... [An announcement comes over the public address system: "Now boarding Egyptian Airlines Flight #345 to Cairo at Gate 21.] TS: Well, there is our flight. But I have one thing to say: Mr. Wales, I know it will be a little while before we return to the IIWF, but I know you have the men and they have the skills to get the job done while we are away. IIWF, when we get back do not think that we were on a vacation. No one will be safe from The Senate. [The Senator and The Senate leave the room and walk toward their gate. Cut to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow! The Senator may have had those plans for awhile, but he didn't share them with anyone here in the IIWF. BL: I knew all about it. LM: Wha...? You did not! BL: Did too! LM: Did not! BL: Did too! LM: [sighs] Anyway, we'll look forward to the return of The Senate. The tag ranks thinned even more when Stunt Team USA left this week for an extended tour in the IIWF's sister federation in Japan. Good luck to Steve and Ron on that tour. And I understand that Prisoner #109 may be on his way back to the federal prison. Time will tell what these absences will mean for the rest of the federation. BL: It means we get to see newcomers like Lord Byron and Ring Warrior II bloody up geeks like Dan Kauffman and Marty Walnut. And when The Senator and his men get back, they'll be better than ever! Who really cares about Stunt Team USA? LM: You may be right, Becky. But now we have to focus on who IS in the IIWF and there's no better way to start than by taking a look at what went down at "IIWF Saturday Night." [Letters swirl around the screen, bashing into each other as if they are wrestling each other. Grunts have been added into the audio. Each of the letters slowly falls into place to form the title:] ************************************************************************** ---------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT REWIND ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: It was a night of cheap shots, verbal battles, and an unexpected title change. Let's recap what happened live on "IIWF Saturday Night" with Tim Dross and Steve Roberts: [Larry and Becky do voice-overs as video highlights from "IIWF Saturday Night" rolls] ------------------- JOE LATTA defeated SABIN FIGARO ------------------- LM: We've already told you that this was Sabin Figaro's final IIWF appearance and he could not hold his own as Joe Latta hit his shotgun suplex for the win. BL: Yeah, and Figaro flipped off the crowd on his way out of the IIWF Coliseum. He could have at least raised the correct finger. ----------------- DON ANTONIO defeated NICK NAME -------------------- LM: Don Antonio made quick work of Nick with his devastating press slam/backbreaker combination, Truth & Honour. Of note, however, was the presence of the Lady DeWinter... BL: That little bitch is too cheap to buy a ticket, isn't she? LM: ...who watched the match from the timekeeper's table. Was she scouting Don Antonio, or was there some ulterior motive? BL: She probably heard that Don Antonio has some cash and she's trying to sponge off of him, too. ------------- ARMED FORCES defeated THE ZODIAC CONNECTION -------------- LM: Despite the support of the Aces of the Deep... BL: You mean _Pisces_... snigger. LM: ...yes, whatever. Despite that, the Zodiacs fell to the Forces' AK47/IBCM combination finisher. And Aaron seems to have his men focusing on another shot at the IIWF Tag Team belts: [SCENE: The film room inside Aaron the Caddy's offices at Coral Gables, Fla. Aaron sits with a remote control in his hand as he shows his men, NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, the footage of their match with the High Plains Drifters from the August 24th IIWF Saturday Night -- the night The Armed Forces won the IIWF Tag Team belts.] ATC: Okay, here you guys come down to ringside. DefCon, tell me what was going through your mind right about now. DC: I was pumped up. I wanted to sprint into that ring and start kicking some butt. I had so much adrenaline pumping through my body, I was sure we were going to get in there and win big. ATC: And why was that? DC: Well, it was for the titles, of course. ATC: Exactly. For the titles. You guys fought GREAT that night because you were going after the belts. Just as you will be when you meet the Revolution in the ring. NC: That's right! Rising Sun Revolution... you beat us at Ring Wars II, but, let's be honest. You didn't really beat us. It was a combination of the Bunglers, the Drifters, and then finally, we were so worn out that you got a lucky 1-2-3. Let me tell you guys somethin'. There were only two teams that deserved to be in that ring in the first place: The Forces and the Drifters. We've been the best two tag teams since we arrived, and, even though we've had our differences with HPD, I'm sure they feel the same way. DC: Yeah, I don't know what's up with all this racket about, "oh, we missed you guys, we wanna see you in action tonight at Ring Wars II...", blah, blah. Well, cry me a river, fans. That just shows me one thing: these guys turned tail and ran while they could, before losing the belts. They'd rather walk away than get pinned for them. So, the President has no choice but to take them. And then they get lucky and get 'em back. Well, big deal. NC: Yeah, yeah, I'm real impressed. I don't care WHAT the fans think of you punks! The bottom line is, we're the best tag team around, and we're gonna take care of you. You'll regret offering the return match to the Forces, baby! Those belts are coming back where they belong. ATC: Rising Sun Revolution... you've offered my men the title shot. And as you can see, they accept with open arms. Get in the ring with those titles and we'll show you who fits into the gold around here. Hey, maybe I'll get myself a golden set of clubs. [Everyone laughs.] ATC: Okay. Another thing I should address -- Pain, Inc. [NavCom and DefCon start chatting.] ATC: Now, this is a team that's shown a lot of respect for us lately. They seem to be the only other sane trio in the federation. God knows you can't count on Wales and the Drifters or "THE WIZARD" and the Bunglers. What do you two think about these guys? NC: Pain, Inc... Mr. Mic... you guys seem cool. You got the skills in the ring, but things aren't going as well as they should for you. You got screwed at Ring Wars II, you've been held back by booking forever, matching you up with guys like the Arabian Knights...geez. You guys are getting the shaft. DC: Man, you guys ever wanna team up for a eight-man or somethin', or just wanna hang with the Forces, we'll show ya a good time. ATC: I can take care of those booking problems. He he he. Call me, Mr. Mic. We'll get a little business going, if you get my drift. NC: Anything at all, Pain... you just call on the Forces. We're here for you. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ------------ RING WARRIOR II defeated THE MASKED MARAUDER --------------- BL: I think I know who the Warrior is now, but I'm not gonna tell you. LM: Whoever he is, he was impressive in putting away The Masked Marauder with a modified chokeslam to earn the victory. He certainly is a... shall we say "unique" personality? Tim Dross found that out on Monday when he visited the Warrior in New York: [SCENE: The Ring Warrior II is in a luxury suite at the Plaza Hotel -- a few doors down from Pain Inc's suite. He is watching a scrambled channel on the TV, and is laughing at it. Tim Dross is sitting next to him, patiently waiting for the "show" to finish.] TD: [whispering] We're taping, Warrior... RWII: [abruptly] Shut up! [The Warrior continues watching the screen, then gets up and turns off the TV.] RWII: Okay, Dross, what do you want? But make it quick, alright? TD: Sure. Well, I just came round to get an interview off you. Quite a lot of water has passed under the bridge since you "spoke" to Steve Roberts last week. RWII: Yeah, Dross, that guy's useless. But you, on the other hand.... TD: Warrior, I don't really want to get into discussions about myself and Steve Roberts, but I'll certainly pass on your opinions. RWII: If you ever interrupt me again, Dross, I'll put you where I threatened to put Roberts last week. TD: [waits a moment] Finished? RWII: Yes. Continue. TD: [sighing] Right. We saw you in action again on Saturday looking as aggressive as ever, but again you were not fighting a real superstar. Now I know Steve asked you about this last week, but when will you be entering "real" competition. RWII: Let's get this straight, Dross. While I'm contracted to the IIWF, I'm earning money, right? [Dross nods his head] When I win a title I'll earn even more. [Dross nods again] Although we both know that I could take the title of my choosing whenever I want [Dross looks at him as if to question that. Warrior stops and stares straight through him. Dross then nods his head], the way this fed is structured, that's not going to happen unless you're a pair of Japanese jokers. TD: Now, hold on a minute. President Dan has given his reasons for his decision to allow them in the tag match for the titles... [Warrior looks at him and spits the bright green fluid out of his mouth] Sorry. Carry on. RWII: I've got to establish myself in this federation, and then maybe I'll get the title shot I deserve. TD: You mean shots [emphasizing the plural]. RWII: If I'd meant shots, I'd have said shots Dross. TD: Fair enough. Back to what you were saying, though. You are intending to keep beating up prelim guys until enough people take notice. RWII: In a word, yes. Although not necessarily the likes of Ned Norton, or that guy I half killed on Saturday..... TD: Well who then? Nick Name...? RWII: I warned you about interrupting me Dross. TD: Sorry. Really. I'm very sorry. RWII: I'm not talking about Nick Name, no. [Dross laughs] I'm talking about that Welsh pansy, Marty Warnett is he called? [Dross nods his head] What's with all this nodding the head, Dross? It's putting me off. TD: [delays] Well, I'm trying not to interrupt you. RWII: Don't get funny with me, Dross. 'Cause what makes me laugh would almost certainly make _you_ cry. TD: [looking slightly annoyed] Yes, I understand that. RWII: Good. Warnett's been shooting his mouth off a little bit too much for my liking and I think someone needs to teach him a lesson. And guess what, Dross? [Dross raises his eyebrows] I said, guess what, Dross? TD: What, Warrior? RWII: I'm going to be the one to teach it. He blames half of his countless losses on outside interference. Well, Warnett, if you've got the guts, which I know being an in-bred Welshman you will have, agree to my offer of a cage match this Saturday night. TD: Wow. That could be a great match, if Marty agrees. Why the cage, though? RWII: Don't you listen, Dross? The kid says he doesn't want any more excuses for losing matches. He wants to lose them on his lack of merits entirely. TD: But surely a man of your size could deal with anyone who may want to injure him, or aid you. There must be something more to it. RWII: Don't get out of your depth, Dross. You're following Roberts down that road. If you're implying I may have an ulterior motive, you're mistaken. Now, if you'd leave, I'll get back to watching the TV. [Warrior turns the TV back on and flicks to the required channel. Dross thanks him for the interview, which Warrior ignores, and then gets up.] TD: I'll just let myself out then... [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ----------------- DOMINATION defeated ACES OF THE DEEP ----------------- LM: We got our first look at this team called Domination -- Mr. Psycho and Monster -- and they were indeed impressive. [Footage rolls of Monster executing an Irish Whip and sending Shark running towards Mr. Psycho, who almost takes Shark's head off with a vicious clothesline. Psycho covers: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding!] BL: Is it just me or do we seem to have a lot of mentally-unstable individuals around here these days? LM: Trust me, it's not just you, Becky. Anyway, we'll hear from Domination shortly. Moving on: ------------------ ONSLAUGHT defeated JUMPIN' JACK ------------------ LM: This match belonged to the mysterious warrior in crimson as he punished the comical Jumpin' Jack before putting him away with a devastating powerbomb off the top rope. BL: Let's hope Onslaught put that little jerk Jack out for good! LM: Well Fisto Flash wasn't impressed. He attacked Onslaught following the match and the two had to be separated by security. If Fisto Flash was attempting to get Onslaught's attention... it worked: [SCENE: A small town in a rural part of Mexico. The camera pans in to a small barn. Inside the barn, Onslaught sits in front of a small altar adorned with pictures of saints. In the background is a small ring that has seen better days. Onslaught is kneeling at the altar with his back toward the camera, he lights a small candle and says a prayer, then grabs his mask and secures it on his head.] ON: Fisto Flash, I am not here to impress anyone. I am here for one thing: to destroy you. You made a deal with the devil now, the time has come for you to pay for your crimes. You attack the Tiger and you shall be struck down by the Dragon, you assault the Earth and Heaven shall rage against you. Think Flash of what you have done, you have caused two souls to no longer shine. For that, yours will cease to shine. Watch your back, I will get you when you least expect it. I told you before: no one is safe. If you do not remember what you have done then your ignorance will hasten your fall into nothingness. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. I am the avenger of those who are the meek. I will do whatever it takes to destroy you, even if it means destroying myself. Take heed Flash, take heed.... [Onslaught takes a knife and slices his palm. Crimson blood, the shade of his armor, trickles out. He then takes a picture of a saint and wipes the blood with it. He takes the bloody picture and places it near the flame of the candle. As it begins to burn, he cups his hands, and lets the picture burn until it is nothing. The sound of sizzling flesh and blood can be heard but, his masked face remains expressionless. Finally he takes the ashes and rubs them into his palms.] Flash, I have made a vow to destroy you. If I fail then my soul shall burn as did the picture of this saint. I gave my word in blood, my word is my blood and blood is the bond. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: That sounds like a warning to Fisto Flash. BL: Yeah, but Flash doesn't scare easily. Robo Stone sent us the following tape: [Cut to Robo Stone standing in a dark alley.] RS: Well, well, well. Another NEWCOMER coming to the IIWF. Another NEWCOMER trying to make a name for himself by messin' with the iron destroyer. I've heard that this boy has an ulterior motive. But MY boy, Fisto Flash, only has ONE motive. And that's to destroy ALL who stand in his way of VICTORY. YOU, Onslaught, have decided to be the man who is Fisto's NEXT victim. Fisto is in the midst of training right now, but believe me, no matter what you want with Fisto Flash; IT MEANS DISASTER... for you. [Robo Stone bows his head and the camera zooms out while fading.] --------------- NO CONTEST: SIMON LEBEC vs. TAKEZO MUSASHI -------------- LM: We saw on Friday that some lunatics were threatening Takezo Musashi, and we now know that the lunatics must have been these men hired by "Big Bucks" Don McQueen. BL: McQueen promised Musashi he would pay and he apparently found the two goons who are the bill collectors. LM: Indeed. McQueen's men stormed the ring during the match. Francois pulled Lebec to safety, but Musashi was battered before Domination came to the rescue. Let's cut to our other studio now, where Tim Dross is standing by with a LIVE interview with "The Enigma" Takezo Musashi. Tim? [Cut to a studio set up with two chairs separated by a potted plant. Tim Dross sits on the left, and Takezo Musashi is on the right.] TD: Thanks, Larry. Quite a strange situation has developed around the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi over the past few days. He was the victim of a brutal sneak attack during Saturday's card, and somebody has been tampering around his home, apparently to place a "curse" on the Enigma. Somehow, Musashi's former manager "Big Bucks" Don McQueen is mixed up in all of this business. The IIWF broadcast team is attempting to bring you the straight scoop on just what is going on. So far all of our calls to Don McQueen's office have gone unanswered, but joining me is the Enigma himself. Hopefully, he will be able to shed some light on this situation. [Musashi clearly looks the worse for wear. His face and body are marked with several bruises and abrasions, and he looks like he has not been sleeping well.] TD: Takezo, first of all can you tell us the extent of your injuries sustained last Saturday night? TM: Well Tim, fortunately the damage is not too serious. My doctor says I am extremely lucky to escape without any broken bones or lasting injury. I must give my thanks to Domination, the unorthodox new tag team here in the IIWF for helping me out before I could take further punishment, otherwise my condition may have been more serious. So right now the Enigma is a little sore, a little banged up, and his pride is hurt, but I shouldn't be missing out on any IIWF action. TD: I am sure many of the fans out there are pleased to hear that, Enigma, but can you answer the question which is on everybody's mind: who were the two thugs who jumped you on Saturday? TM: I don't know those two men, but the picture is becoming a little clearer to me now. It seems that my former manager Don McQueen has finally decided to make good on his promises of vengeance. I think it is obvious to everybody watching that "Big Bucks" was directing the actions of those two brutes. I was unprepared for the assault because I was focused on my match with Simon Lebec, who wasn't posing me much trouble by the way, but next time I shall be ready. TD: Is there a connection between Saturday's sneak attack and the strange ritual which was performed at your home the other night? TM: It seems very likely, Tim, very likely. I didn't have much chance to get a good look at my attackers -- it all happened so rapidly, but I caught a glance at those tattoos etched in their skin. Now those tattoos might not mean much to the you and the average fan on the street, but I possess some lore in these matters and I can tell you that they represent the murkiest, darkest evil and corruption that it is possible to worship. Thus, it seems quite conclusive that the curse performed at my home was committed by the very same men. TD: But why on Earth would McQueen involve himself with such beasts? He might be thoroughly ruthless, but he doesn't seem to be the satanic type. TM: Well I would speculate that it is the case of a common enemy. Those who worship demons as dark and dishonorable as my attackers are bound to be consumed with a desire to destroy those who represent honor and courage like myself. McQueen has clearly been driven mad with his lust for power and vengeance and will stoop to any means possible to destroy me and once again become a force in the IIWF. TD: A disturbing situation indeed, and once again our President Daniel Spreadbury is conspicuous by his inaction against these strange newcomers to the IIWF, whomever they may be. Enigma, do you have any parting comments? [Musashi looks directly into the camera with a smoldering fire in his eyes] TM: Don McQueen, you have clearly stepped over the boundary this time. I thought I was done with your scheming and machinations once and for all, but your prideful obsession will not permit you to let matters rest. McQueen, you are delving into matters beyond your understanding, I can sense you are about to unleash evil into the IIWF on a scale never before seen, and it shall be your undoing. Once again, the oldest battle in the Universe shall be fought, the eternal battle between the forces of light and darkness. It shall be a titanic struggle, but this time it will be different, for this time, the forces of honor are stronger. TD: Larry, Becky... back to you. [Cut back to Morton and LaRue in the studio.] --------------------- MARTY WARNETT defeated ROBSKI --------------------- LM: Robski seemingly lost this match before it ever began. A mysterious man dressed in red, white and blue took exception to Robski burning the American flag and attacked the English Sensation in the aisle. [Roll footage of a well-muscled black man dressed in the red, white and blue hitting Robski in the back of the head with a flagpole, then choking him with the flag itself. He throws Robski in the ring and Warnett gets the easy submission with his figure four.] BL: And we finally found out who that lunatic was. LM: Yes we did, and I can tell you that the man in question is a wrestler from another federation who had no business being at ringside. He is not affiliated with the IIWF, and federation officials are pressing charges for his interference and attack. BL: You mean there won't be a takeover from some other federation? LM: Get real. Who would believe that could really happen? BL: Hehe. Anyway, I had a chance to tape a TransAtlantic interview with Robski earlier today. Have a look: [SCENE: Robski sits on the veranda of his father's stately home. He is wearing a shirt with small checks, which is not tucked into his trousers, and has a pair of sunglasses on. In the background, "Don't Look Back in Anger" is playing. He laughs. He is back home -- back where it all started. Cut to split screen, with Becky LaRue on the left and Robski on the right.] BL: Robski, thanks for joining us. This little jerk Marty Warnett is throwing out challenges left and right. Your thoughts on him? RO: [heavy sarcasm] Oh he's VERY impressive. I mean, just look at him, he is WELSH for gods sake. That nation has been a parasite to England for the last... god knows however many years. I have been to Ninian Park and Cardiff Arms Park, hell the Rugby there is poor, the beer there is poor and the people there are poor. [he laughs] Apart from that, they have a lot going for them. Warnett, you may be an upcoming superstar, but tread on MY toes again, and I will stamp on your face. End of story. The best thing to come out of Wales has been all of the businesses relocating to England. The Welsh are a lazy nation and you need a mouthful of phlegm to pronounce the names. Warnett, I may come after you, but there are OTHERS on the horizon BL: And your thoughts on the success of the IIWF? RO: So the fed has hit the big time, is THAT REALLY A SURPRISE? I mean, more goes into one card here than into 100 cards in SOME feds I have been in, and there is ONE reason the fed has hit the big time.... BL: And that reason would be...? RO: [inclines his head and smiles] Why ME! [he laughs] BL: What about the guy who interfered before your match the other night? I understand charges were pressed against him. RO: I don't know who he is, but he's probably sorry he interfered. If he ever comes around me again, HE IS DEAD MEAT. I don't care if he's from some other federation. He tried to CHOKE me with that [BLEEP]ing flag pole. If I ever get hold of him, I will take it and shove it up his [BLEEP], and THAT is only for starters. BL: I gotta tell you, Robski, I admire your lifestyle. Do you have any future aspirations? RO: To work hard [he laughs]. Only joking. I'd say to make a fair bit of money, find a few business opportunities in the "third world," and have a damn good time, who needs to train when you can live like a slob? BL: What about a title shot? RO: This is one of the few feds I have never held a title in. But now I am gearing up for the big time. Champions, I will not be ready for a while, but when I am, WOWZA, you will not KNOW what has hit you. BL: Heard from The Punster lately? [sniggers] RO: WHO?! [he laughs] BL: Hehe... never mind. Are you taking aim at anyone in the fed right now? RO: Well there are a few new faces and a few old faces, and a few old scores to settle, I see Fisto Flash is still here. Well, when I first arrived, I gave Flash a tough time of it, the time may well be nigh to go for the Fisto man again. And Welsh Wizard, you have not heard the last of me. BL: There has been a lot of talk about your past... RO: The past is just that, gone, and I will not worry about it. But the future, well, from the film Cabaret: "Oh Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign. Your children are waiting to see. The morning will come when the world is mine. Tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs -- TO ME!" BL: Cool. I've gotta see that film. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] --------------------- MANAGER LEAVES TOWN MATCH: ----------------------- --------------- PAIN INC. defeated THE ARABIAN KNIGHTS ----------------- LM: It looks like we've seen the last of The Grand Vizier in the IIWF. BL: Yeah, his hocus-pocus couldn't overcome Pain Inc. AND Heavy Metal, who helped Pain Inc. during the match. Morningstar's moonsault on the Prince put The Knights away and sent The Grand Vizier packing. Pain Inc. is still celebrating the win in style. Take a look at this: [SCENE: The Presidential Suite of the Plaza Hotel in New York, just down from Ring Warrior II's suite. Hellraiser and Morningstar hold bottles of champagne, and both are drenched in it. Mr.Mic is also covered in champagne. There is a knock on the door. Mr.Mic answers it. It's Tim Dross.] TD: Mr.Mic, may we have an interview with you and Pain Inc.? MM: Ya know Drossy, you caught me in a good mood. Sure you can have an interview... A VERY SHORT ONE! [he mutters under his breath] Something you should know all about... or at least your wife does! [Dross ignores the comment as they all sit down] TD: Mr.Mic, you must be very proud of your two men. Because of them, you can remain here in the IIWF MM: Dross, explain something to me: HOW THE HELL YOU DO COME UP WITH THESE IDIOTIC QUESTIONS? Of course I'm proud of my men. I always have been [he starts to laugh] and now [laughing] the Arabian Knights [he looks like he's about to burst] HAVE NO MANAGER. TD: I hear news to the contrary. Now then, I know I'm going to regret this but is there anything you'd like to say to the now departed Grand Vizier? MM: [straightening his suit and with a serious expression on his face] Yes Tim I would... [he explodes] BYE-BYE! TOO BAD! SO SAD! Don't worry Brassiere,I'll send plenty of 7-11 business your way. [Laughing] Hey Tim, ya know what Vizier means in Indonesian? TD: No, what? MM: UNEMPLOYED [He starts laughing uncontrollably] TD: [sarcastically] Ha Ha, very funny MM: No Tim that suit you're wearing is funny! Did you lose a bet or something? TD: What about Heavy Metal? Have you two formed an Alliance? MM: Ohhh, I bet tons of people want to know the answer to this. The answer is... sort of. Mr.Stone and I have been talking the last few weeks about our teams. We haven't formed a stable as such. We will just be watching each others' backs. Heavy Metal is a very capable and deadly tag team as the Atomic Destroyers will soon find out! TD: Just what exactly were they doing under the ring? MM: Well, they were there just in case the new poster boy for welfare, The Grand Vizier, started doing his David Copperfield impression. They heard something, came out, and obviously the Prince said something to them. They took exception and proceeded to pulverize him. That just shows you how stupid the Prince is. Why is the world would you want to upset two men built like Mr.Atlas and Mr.Apollo? Mr.Stone, thank you very much. I will remember our deal. TD: What deal is that? MM: Never you mind pea-brain. TD: Pea-brain?! Listen, one last question. What's next for Pain Inc? MM: Well, PEA-BRAIN. It seems that the Zodiac Connection has teamed up with the Capt. High-Liner boys. Gee you got a bull, a scorpion and two fish.What the hell is this, Wild Kingdom? Anyway, I would like to offer this. Mr.Stone, I would like to ask you if Heavy Metal would mind teaming up with Pain Inc. to absolutely destroy the Zodiac Connection and Aces of the Deep? Okay, interview over. Get outta here, Dross! [Morningstar pushes the cameraman out of the room as Hellraiser just stares as Dross and growls. Dross mutters something about reintroducing Pain Inc. to the human race and leaves the room. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: There seems to be more to this story than meets the eye. As you heard Tim Dross say, there may have been trouble in the Arabian Knights' camp all along. In fact, we saw Omar pick up the Prince and leave ringside with a stranger. Bulldog Brown is standing by LIVE at The Knights' training facility to get the scoop. Bulldog? [SCENE: Bulldog Brown stands in a large, open gym, Prince Abdul and the man who appeared after the Arabian Knights' loss to Pain Inc., appear to be fencing. Omar is working out with a huge barbell. In the background, visible thorough the windows, appears to be a paddock. Several racehorses can be seen ] BB: Excuse me gentlemen, I believe you requested an interview. MAN: One moment. [In one swift move, the man disarms the Prince, whose sword goes flying across the room -- just missing Omar by a whisker. Omar doesn't even bat an eyelid and carries on his weightlifting. The Prince waves his arms in the air and stomps his feet in frustration.] PA: It's not fair ! You always beat me! MAN: Patience Abdul, patience! [Bulldog coughs to get the man's attention.] MAN: Bulldog Brown, is it? I believe you have some questions to ask us? [The Prince and the man approach the camera. The man is obviously Arabic but he is somewhat older than the Prince ] BB: Well what I and the thousands of fans who have been ringing in would like to know is: what happened on Saturday night and what exactly is your connection with the Arabian Knights? MAN: Well, Bulldog, it is quite a long story. As you know, the Arabian Knights were a very successful wrestling team in the Middle East. I knew that with the potential they obviously possess, it would only be a matter of time before they reached the big time -- the IIWF. So I said to the Prince, "when you come to America, you get in touch with me and I will be able to sort everything out for you." Unfortunately, in the meantime, I had returned to America and the Prince had managed to fall under the influence of that bumbling old fool the Grand Vizier. BB: How is the Vizier? MAN: The old man is fine and back home in Saudi Arabia where he can cause no more harm. Anyway it was only two weeks ago that I discovered that the Arabian Knights were wrestling in the IIWF, I had been involved in sorting out the Prince's fathers affairs. But once I discovered they had started wrestling over here, I tried to get in touch with the Prince, but everywhere he went the Grand Vizier accompanied him. Luckily, the same could not be said of Omar. It did not take me too long to point out to Omar the error of his ways. He is far more intelligent than people give him credit for, it is just a vow of silence that prevents him from talking. The rest is history, as you say, I knew that Grand Vizier would eventually open his mouth and issue a rash challenge. From that moment on, his fate had been sealed. Mr Mic, manager of Pain Inc., unwittingly nearly blew it by enlisting the aid of Heavy Metal to help beat the Arabian Knights. Had the ref spotted Heavy Metal, Pain Inc. would have been disqualified and Mr Mic would have had to leave the IIWF and I would have still been left with the Grand Vizier! BB: So are you going to continue the feud with Mr Mic and Pain Inc.? PA: Oh, yes, I'm going to get some revenge! they are going to get the thrashing of their lives! And you, Heavy Metal, don't think we've finished with you either. Remember, the bigger they are the harder they fall, and when YOU fall... you're never going to get up! [The man clips the Prince round the ear.] PA: Ouch! MAN: What my somewhat stupid nephew fails to understand is that there is no point in continuing this feud with Pain Inc., Are they the tag team champions? No! Therefore they have nothing that we want! I have come across this Mr Mic in my business dealings over the years and I know that he is a far more shrewd man than he would have you believe. He is also very ruthless, which begs the question as to why Heavy Metal have teamed up with him. Be warned, Robo Stone and Heavy Metal, he will stab you in the back somewhere down the line. BB: So you are the Prince's uncle then! MAN: That would seem to be the case, Bulldog, but you can call me Mr. Kaseem. BB: I take it that you will be managing the Arabian Knights, Mr... Kaseem? MAN: I just have a few more contractual details to sort out with President Spreadbury, then it will be so. And as my first act as their manager, I want to accept the challenge issued to the Arabian Knights by the tag team champions, the Rising Sun Revolution, to meet them for the tag team belts. I mean I can't see any other team better qualified to stop their winning streak at five. I am sure that they will fight fair and the Arabian Knights' three losses have only been due to cheating and outside interference. Our sole goal is now to win the tag team belts and woe betide any team that decides to get in our way! One last thing, I would like Billy Sexton to know that if he still needs any help, for him to let us know. BB: Thank you Mr Kaseem. MAN: Bulldog, would you like to see my marvelous collection of racehorses? They are true thoroughbreds. BB: Horsies? Cool... [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Ah, that Bulldog is such a professional. LM: Well, he DID get the story. The Arabian Knights seemingly have a new manager. We'll stay on top of this story! ------------ NO CONTEST: TIGER CLAW vs. PRINCE OF DARKNESS ------------- LM: This match turned into utter chaos as the war between The Syndicate and The Dark Knights intensified. Not only were the Knights and The Syndicate involved, but Cadaver and Dan Kauffman also got involved in the fracas. BL: This is getting out of hand between these two stables. Something's got to give. LM: I think the Dark Knights agree with you, Becky. Let's hear from them now: [SCENE: The Prince of Darkness stands alone in a darkened room in the Dark Knights' castle.] POD: Once again, my quest for the IIWF Intercontinental title has been halted. Tiger Claw, you're a fake and a fraudulent champion! I have made it my goal in life to beat you for that title, no matter what it takes. Bring on your Syndicate friends. I have allies too. [The Sandman and Archangel enter the scene and position themselves around the table. At the same time smoke begins to raise in a dark corner, revealing the hooded figure of Deathbringer as it clears up] Mess with the forces that be, and you'll pay every time! AA: Syndicate, you truly play with forces beyond your control. I have decided to end my week-long journey through the silence because I am sick of being everybody's whipping boy. Prince of Darkness took me through Hell and showed me what I am truly made of. Sandman showed me that I too have a dark side and that I should stop repressing it. Deathbringer has always been there for me since the beginning of the cosmos and he knows that I will never leave him. The power of the cross has its dark roots in the blood that was spilled for it, but no more will innocents' blood be spilled. I am no longer the Archangel, I am Legion, for I am many. No longer will the Judgment Day Drop be used. Now I use the Final Solution. You may ask why Bishop Right and the Deacon aren't here. Because I abandoned them. They questioned my war with the Syndicate. They thought it would push me over the edge. They were right!. They questioned my joining the Dark Knights, who should by all rights be my archenemies, but it doesn't matter anymore. In war, you have to put aside your differences and that's what this is... war. TS: It's a war they wanted and a war they got! Syndicate, your little games worry me not. You forget that I worked with the alliance for a bit. I know how your minds work and I know how to capitalize on it. What you did to the Prince of Darkness was pitiful. Tiger Claw is clearly afraid of PoD and knows he'll lose the title. Soon enough, my friend, the title will come to the rightful hands. That goes for butcher boy, too. I hear you talking the talk but there are no actions. Deathbringer is the true champion and you know this. Don't hide behind Heidi cause she won't do ya any good. I'll give her a taste of the Sandman and she'll be dreaming of me when she sleeps with you. And along with the meat man, I hear everyone whining and talking about the new Knights... well deal with it! I have numerous reasons for doing the things I did and I have no regrets. If anyone wants some, quit your yapping and let's settle it in the ring. I'm standing right here... [he makes a hand motion towards himself] ...so bring it on! That goes for anyone -- because I just don't give a damn, I'll even go after announcers. If you're man enough to say what you say, then you're man enough to take a beating! No longer are we going to sit back and let the Syndicate think they're the top dogs... because the Dark Knights are here. This brings me to Joe Latta and Hakiro Matsuoko. Do you two think you can put a stop to the dark ones? Midweek Mayhem you face the big man and I. The ultimate combination of dark and light join forces to battle the Benedicts. Never thought you'd see the Archangel and the Sandman together did ya? Well he said it right -- you put aside your differences and go to war. Wednesday night the Holy terror and I are going to finish you off! [he runs his hand across his throat] And if I see Cadaver, I'll send him to hell! I want your souls, I want your blood, and I want them all now! [Deathbringer slowly leaves the corner and steps towards the table, his face still hidden by the cowl] DB: At last the forces of darkness have united. And it was about time, for night haunts and evil lurks in every corner. Like the plague, it is spreading and it has to be stopped. [Pause as Deathbringer comes to a halt right behind the table] DB: A vast mission lies ahead. The Outlaw will leave this league, and despite his harsh words I can still see an imprint of his fear remaining in this league forever. However his former allies are still here. And they have not changed their minds so far. I am talking about men like Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven. Verhoeven, you say you want to humiliate me one more time. Maybe, just maybe, you should start by trying to humiliate me for a _first_ time. You just consist of brute force and if you should really believe that this is all you need to defeat Death himself then let me tell you that even Hercules is dead and buried for a very long time now. It is true that you took the title away from me. But it is also true that we will meet again at some point. And at that point I will make you pay for your deeds. Enjoy your reign, for it will not last long. [Another pause as Deathbringer slowly looks at each of the Dark Knights. He continues:] DB: Right now however, something different is on my mind... and this is the Syndicate. By destroying this major stable we will set a mark that is going to shock the entire wrestling world. Tiger Claw, the Prince of Darkness will take care of you. Hakiro Matsuoko and Joe Latta, I know two men who would just love to have a nice little talk with you. [Deathbringer stretches his arms out toward Legion and the Sandman] DB: This leaves Casey James and Cadaver. However no one knows whose side Cadaver is really on... besides his own that is... And as I can see he has his hands full with Dan Kauffman already. Kauffman, I hereby salute you for your courage and Cadaver, watch out... that mortal will give you a hell of a fight if it comes down to the two of you. Now this means that Casey "Blackheart" James is _my_ man. And it will be my honor to show to you, James, the real face of ... [Deathbringer removes the cowl and reveals his masked face. The camera closes up to his pitch-black eyes] DB: BLACK DEATH. [Deathbringer's demonic laughter fills the air as the screen fades out] LM: The Syndicate has some equally strong words for The Dark Knights. We'll hear from them shortly. ---------------- LORD BYRON defeated "NIFTY" NED NORTON ---------------- LM: The newcomer Lord Byron easily dispatched Norton with a backspin DDT, but his antics following the match earned him no fans. He beat Norton with his cane and... BL: Aw, he was just giving Ned a closer look at the intricate metal work on the cane when the little twerp Marty Walnut... LM: When Marty Warnett came to Ned's rescue. But Marty himself felt the pain of the cane... BL: Hehe, pain of the cane... LM: ...from Lord Byron. Well, Warnett did not take kindly to that attack and retaliated following the show. I was a little TOO close to the action. Let's go to that tape now: [Cut to backstage at IIWF Saturday Night, where IIWF interviewer Larry Morton is trying to catch up with the debutant Lord Byron...] LM: I'm arriving at the dressing room of Lord Byron, and I'm going to try to get some comments on what has been a despicable display by the aristocrat. [The door opens. Byron and Lady DeWinter appear, seemingly in a hurry to leave.] LM: Excuse me, Byron, sir, can I take a moment of your time? DeW: [tugging at Byron's sleeve] Come on! We have to go! LB: This won't take one second, Milady.. LM: Byron, it's been a busy night for you.... LB: [interrupting] Morton, shut up and listen. It's a shame that those who seek to do good are usually those who face the greatest consequences for their actions, but if you stick your nose into my business you should expect to have it broken. It's about time that that young pup learned that if you go around making absurd challenges to anyone and everyone, sooner or later you will have to pay the price. If the Syndicate doesn't rip you to shreds first, I will do it it myself. But frankly, Mr. Warnett, if you need the help of the Great Deceiver to defeat an idiot like Robski, you are barely worthy of my attention. DeW: Come ON! LM: The Great Deceiver? You know who that guy is? LB: [sneering] I didn't get where I am today by being ill informed, Mr. Morton, I've been around, and I know a lot of people. I just hope that our poor little boy lost Mr. Warnett doesn't think he has gained an ally. This man is as treacherous as a snake. Warnett, if you truly want to be humiliated in front of the entire IIWF, you know where to... [There is a commotion down the hallway] DeW: [almost livid] Byron, come ON...! [Byron pushes DeWinter out of the way as Marty Warnett charges him down. Both men start brawling, as officials try to pull them apart. Someone barges into the cameraman, and the screen fades to static. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Fortunately, security separated Warnett and Lord Byron. But it was really hairy there for awhile. BL: Hairy? Maybe you should have sent Dross backstage. Hehehe... snort. ---------------- IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ---------------- ----- "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN defeated "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE ------ LM: The travesty of the evening was Acorn walking away with the IIWF Cruiserweight title after "Painbringer" Billy Sexton nailed Shakespeare with the IIWF championship belt. [Roll footage of Billy climbing the ropes. Sexton, on the outside, grabs the CW belt. He runs over and up onto the apron near Billy and clocks him across the face with the belt. Billy falls to the mat, hitting his head hard. He doesn't appear to move. Sexton drops the belt and runs up the aisle.] BL: And it was goodnight Irene! Acorn pinned Shakespeare and walked out with his first title here in the IIWF. Acorn, of course, is his usual... humble... self. Check out this footage: [Cut to Randy Acorn sitting in a sauna with his newly won Cruiserweight Title placed on a mantle above him. He is puffing on a cigar and has a big smile on his face.] RA: Ah victory is so sweet when it comes over a man who has beaten you time and time again. Billyboy, you put up a valiant fight but you knew that your time had come to lose that title and you knew that it would be lost to me. I recall telling you earlier that it was only a matter of time before that belt would come into my hands and with that prophetic statement, I stand... CORRECT! Like I had said earlier, once I won this belt, all who wish to challenge for it may do so because I do not back down from anyone. However, I do refuse to face anyone who has a losing record -- no matter who they are. [Randy grabs a towel, stands up and wraps it around his waist. He gets out of the sauna and walks into the other room with the cameras following. He sits down on a couch and begins to speak again] Billy Sexton, I'm still not quite sure what your motive in being at ringside was, but I will thank you for your guest appearance. Now I know that Billyboy will be running his mouth about how Sexton was the cause of his defeat but my response to that is: I'm wearing the belt, Sexton's not. Therefore, I am the cause of your defeat. [Randy calms himself down a bit and then continues.] A funny thing happened after my win over you Billyboy. A little kid came up to me and asked me for my autograph. He said he was once a Billy Shakespeare fan, but after seeing him lose he just couldn't respect him anymore. Of course I spat in the kids face and told him to get his ass home before I kicked it home, but hey, that's just the kind of guy I am. Many people were curious about the fact that my attitude seemed to change a lot in that last match but I can assure you that I'm still the same [BLEEP] that I used to be... but now instead of going after people, they have to come after ME. Face the facts, I'm your new Cruiserweight champ and until someone has the talent to take it away from me, that's the way it's going to be. NOW GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF HERE! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: You can imagine that the events of Saturday night did not set well with "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. BL: Wah, wah. He'll get over it. LM: I think he'll only get over it when Sexton and Acorn have paid for their actions. Let's hear now from Billy Shakespeare: [The old theatre. All is disheveled: The fly lines hang loose, curtains stacked haphazardly, lamps stand in a row against the rear wall. Still, a spotlight splits the dark, illuminating the familiar figure of Billy Shakespeare.] BS: Sadly, one show must come to an end before another begins. But "Praising what is lost makes the remembrance dear." All's Well That Ends Well, Act 5, scene 3, line 19. When I won the Cruiserweight belt, I knew that one day I might lose it. Such as it is with the talent in this fed. I would not have predicted that I would lose it to one such as Randy Acorn, but even the greatest of actors flubs a line, and I have done just that. But harken to my words "Badboy": I have beaten you once, yea twice, yea three times, and when I chose too, I shall do so again. Take to heart Henry the Fourth's lament: "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown." But for the nonce I have other business to attend to. [The spotlight fades out as fiery red lights silhouette Billy against the skrim.] Billy Sexton, you took my belt. You have my initials, indeed you have even my first name. If there is one thing a performer hates it is a pale imitation of himself. You demanded time in the spotlight, get ready to fear its glare. Billy Sexton... it's playtime. [Lights come on from everywhere, wiping out the video in a brilliant flash of white. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: As expected, though, "Painbringer" Billy Sexton shows no remorse for his actions. It seems that Sexton has targeted Billy for... pain. BL: Ooh, that was very dramatic. LM: Just go to the tape: [SCENE: Billy Sexton is seen walking by the town hall in Wawa, Ontario, Canada. Sexton slowly walks on the steps, then turns, sits down and speaks.] BS: A long time ago, a wise man told me "never bite off more that you can chew." Shakespeare, Saturday night I did you a favor. I removed something from you that you couldn't handle. Let me ask you something Billy boy, how did it feel when your own belt caused you to lose the match? Shakespeare, the time will come soon enough when we shall meet. But until that time, life for you AIN'T GOING TO BE A BOWL OF CHERRIES. I DON'T LIKE YOU SHAKESPEARE -- ANYTHING YOU STAND FOR, 'CAUSE BABY YOU'RE A TWO-BIT WRESTLER WITH NO FUTURE. Baby, that's where I come in. Soon I shall end your career. 'Cause when I get my armbar on you and you're screaming out for mercy, remember who's giving you the pain. Remember that Billy Sexton is in town... and kiss your career GOODBYE!" [Cut back to Larry and Becky.] ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: One of the most heinous attacks Saturday night occurred when Simon Lebec perpetrated a sneak attack on "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. Lebec, you'll recall, has apparently bought his way into favor with the powers that be in Newfoundland and has had Quigley's citizenship revoked. BL: We now have a LIVE link via satellite to "Showstopper" Simon Lebec from his home in Hollywood, California. [Lebec's face pops up on the monitor behind Larry and Becky] LM: Mr. Lebec, we have a lot to talk about. First off, I have to say that the attack on Chris Quigley was uncalled for! [Cut to full screen shot of Lebec] SL: Uncalled for? Jesus, Morton! Were you watching the right program? He was coming after me! I was defending myself from that uneducated Newfie barbarian! LM: Speaking of Newfoundland... SL: Do we have to? I just ate! LM: You have brainwashed the leader of the state into revoking the citizenship of a native son. SL: Though it's not hard to brainwash a Newfie, especially Mr. Tobin, I did no such thing. Mr. Tobin sees such actions as the one Quigley pulled on Saturday. He may be dumb, but he's not blind. LM: Surely a battle is going to happen soon between you and Quigley. Your thoughts? SL: Morton, I'm a misunderstood individual. I really am. I don't hate Chris Quigley. My intentions were to help him and his race of inferior people, not to fight with him. If he's too dumb to see that, then perhaps the need for help is even greater than I originally thought. What's fighting with Quigley going to prove? We fight.. I beat him badly, and his self-esteem lowers even more. I mean, he's a Newfie for God's sake! He already has a major strike against him. I fear it's so serious that an ass-whoopin' by me could lead Quigley to the verge of suicide. And then what do ya have? Another dead Newfie, that's what! We don't want that, Morton. We really don't. I mean, who's gonna snake my toilet if there are no Newfies? DAMMIT! WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? BL: Hey Simon! Becky LaRue here! Larry looks like he doubts your sincerity, but I believe you. So tell us your thoughts about "Painbringer" Billy Sexton. SL: HA! Sexton's a joke. Every time we teamed up, I carried that team. He's a laggard, and he'll pay for what he's done. LM: Anything left to add? SL: I've said my piece for now. But, I'd like to remind everyone that my latest release, "Simon Does Saskatchewan II: Love in a Grain Silo" will be out in theatres everywhere in a few weeks. Check it out. Just listen to these reviews! [he takes out a paper] "Better than sex!" - Dr. Ruth "Loved that butt shot!" - Roger Ebert "Thumb up!" - The War Amps It's bound to be a success -- just like the original. See you there, guys. [Cut back to Larry and Becky] LM: As always, it's... a... pleasure. BL: Wow! A sequel! LM: There may not be a third installment if Chris Quigley gets his hands on Simon Lebec. Fans, we heard earlier from Takezo Musashi about the attack on him that happened Saturday night. It was his friends, the new tag team Domination, which came to his rescue. I understand Domination is standing by now with a few words: [Cut to Domination -- Mr. Psycho and Monster -- flanking the Mistress in the IIWF interview area] MI: The commentator got it damn right. We are friends with "Enigma" Takezo Musashi. Once upon a time when my team, Domination, were starting off, he gave us some people`s numbers and the Domination wagon got rolling. He may not remember that because it was a long time ago, but that is how it happened. MP: And we've been looking for a long time for some way to repay the great man in some way. That's one of the bonuses about coming to the IIWF. We've got a few old friends here. MO: Raaggggh MI: Exactly. Nobody had better tread on our friends' toes. If they do, I'll just have to send my boys round to give you a lesson. MP: A lesson in defeat. You listening out there? Did you see what we did to Aces of the Deep? Did you see what we did to Theatre of Pain in WAR! ? We`re in the big time now. We`re here to look after out friends, just as our friends look after us. MI: So whether it is Enigma, RSR, White Phoenix... whoever... we'll be there for them just as they have been there for us. MO: Raarrghh. MP: Correct. We`re Domination, and we wrestle how we`re called. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio] LM: Will this team be able to watch everyone else's back in addition to their own? I think we'll have to... [Morton puts a finger to his earpiece and listens intently. He nods twice.] LM: Patch it through, Joe. I understand we have a phone call from someone who is right in the middle of things here in the IIWF... BL: Scott "The Whine" Bloom? LM: Not quite. I'm talking about Marty Warnett, who had a little falling out with Casey "Blackheart" James Saturday night. [He punches a button on the desk] Marty, are you there? [Garbled audio clears up and Warnett's voice comes over the line] MW: Yeah, Larry. I just thought I'd get in touch and say how much I enjoy the new format for the shows. BL: Yeah, right, cut the bullsh... LM: Where are you, Marty? MW: Currently on the freeway, top down, feeling the wind through my hair, something Lebec's unable to do. I just wanted to get my views on certain things known BL: You have views? MW: Damn straight I have, honey. So listen up, and listen good. That arse James wanted to give "color" commentary? Heck, I've seen more color in a dark room in the antarctic at midnight in winter. Gee, now I guess his speech matches his wrestling ability, no wonder he needs help to get anything done. LM: That's a pretty bold statement. Casey has a good record and is a tough individual. MW: Sure, he looks tough when he has help. If he claims to be able to pound me into the mat, then he can do it on his own, if he has the guts. [Becky tries to pull the phone cord out, but fails.] MW: Yet again, Claw keeps the title. Yet again, he ducks a challenger by getting the dummies from Moronville involved. Cheap, cheap. Is it Tiger Claw or Kitty Litter? BL: Oohhh, so cute pretty boy. MW: Becky, in your wildest dreams -- and believe me, I've heard they're pretty wild ... Lau, Syndicate, I'll see you guys in hell, because that's where we're heading. Claw, I want you to keep that title, because I want to see your face and Lau's face when I take it from you. Why? Because Rock Hot said so. [static cuts in ] ...Presi... [buzzz] ...Dan is an excel... [buzzzzzz]... hon... [buzzzzzzzzzzzz] I [crackle] ... in him. BL: Aw, he must be under a bridge. Maybe he's in San Francisco... either that or he has one of those IIWF cellular phones. Wow, they're available for only $99.95. Activation is extra, of course. LM: [tapping his earpiece] Sorry folks, we seem to have lost that link. But I'm sure we'll be hearing more from Marty Warnett. BL: Not if Casey James comes through for me. LM: Yes, well, speaking of Mr. James, he and his cohorts in The Syndicate are fending off challenges from all sides. Not only is Warnett after James, but The Dark Knight have vowed to crush Brian Lau's troops. BL: They'll have to find some brighter minds if goons like Warnett and the Sandman hope to bring The Syndicate to their knees. If I know Brian Lau, he has a plan. LM: Speaking of Lau and The Syndicate, let's hear from them now: [SCENE: A peaceful garden. The Syndicate sits on a bench under a tree. Bonsai trees sprout up here and there. Kenny Tanaka sits next to Brian Lau.] KT: Hello, people at home. Well, it's certainly been an eventful week. Let's get right down to it. Brian? BL: Well, well. All these new faces in the IIWF, and so few of them look promising. What can I say? There are two faces, though, that are all too familiar. Rising Sun Revolution, I made an offer to you last week. You refused that offer. I respect your decision to turn me down. Perhaps you feel that there is nothing I can do for your careers that you two cannot do for yourself. I can understand why you'd think this, but I think I should ask you something: How do you think you got into the championship match at Ring Wars II on such short notice? Do you think things like that happen all the time? Of course not. A decision like that has to be backed up with votes from supporters and incentives. It was _I_ that got you back into the IIWF, it was _I_ that got you into that match, and it was _I_ that helped you regain those titles. I realize you may need some time to think about my offer, but I'm sure you'll come around. Look at the people I've made offers to in the past... Casey James [motions toward Casey], Joe Latta [motions toward Joe], and Hakiro Matsuoko [motions towards Hakiro]. Oh, yes. Hakiro was against us at first, but he saw our ways soon enough. HM: I once thought that my way was the only path. I soon learned that there are many paths towards the truth. Brian Lau showed me the path that I am on now, the one that is less beaten, but none the less equal. My battles and honors are legendary here: my title reign, the epic battles with Tiger Claw, and my battles with "The Enigma". I have done my clan much honor, I turn my attention now to a man with little honor, Shinja Chow. Watch where you travel, you might go so far that you can never return. Now, Rising Sun Revolution, one day, you will know the truth of the words that Brian Lau speaks. Our clan is growing strong. KT: Now what plans are in the works for the American faction of the Syndicate? JL: Whatever Brian wants us to do. He pays the bills, and we have no problem with that. He likes us to take care of business, and we like to comply. Brian has targeted the Dark Knights, and I couldn't be happier. Want to know why? Because I've been assigned the Archangel. Big man, I've pinned you before, and I'll do it again. I don't fear you. I'm on the rise in the IIWF. Did you see what I did to that moron Sabin Figaro? I hear him going on about how he's the best, and I hear people going on about how good he is. The man ain't nothing but words. I took care of him, and now he's out. CJ: I gotta say that was some good work on Saturday, Joe. Now there's something I need to say. I've got a bone to pick with that Walnut geek. This is my personal problem. I'm going to solve it myself. Brian wants nothing to do with this little moron. He says that paying attention to him is just giving him what he wants. You see, Brian is a little more level-headed than I am. He can ignore idiots like Warnett. I can't. When I hear someone like him badmouthing my crew, I've got to do something about it. Warnett, I'll meet you one on one Wednesday night. I'll be there by myself. It's just me and you. You go on about how I could never win a match on my own, but I think you'll understand how wrong you are when I drop you to the mat with Black Death. Then, after I'm done with you, I'm going after Deathbringer. I'm the Blackheart here. I'm the master of the Black Death. You're just a shadow, Deathbringer, and I'm turning on the light to wipe you out. BL: The Dark Knights have become a problem. I was hoping that we could have gotten rid of one of them on Saturday, but the match was declared a no contest. So be it. The Syndicate is going to take care of the Dark Knights by taking them out one by one. Casey wants Deathbringer and Joe wants Archangel. That leaves the Sandman and PoD for Tiger Claw and Hakiro. You can take your pick, men. HM: Sandman, you and Prince of Darkness had better heed the words of Masa Lau. Tiger Claw and myself are two of the most gifted and deadly athletes that are in the IIWF today. If you cross our paths then you will not walk away. Honor is everything, if you offend our honor then there will be nothing left for us to do but, to send you into the sands and hells from which you came. KT: Brian, I'm just worried that the Syndicate is spreading themselves too thin. I mean, Warnett, RSR, The Dark Knights... BL: Well, if RSR continues to defy me, I'm going to have to have their belts taken away. Of course, we have an option. Two of the members you see here could take care of it, or I could hire on a tag team. Whether it's a tag team already in the IIWF or someone completely new is undecided, but I will have this done. As for Warnett, that little pest will be taken care of by Casey. After that, we are free to deal with the Dark Knights. KT: And I have no doubt that you will be victorious in your endeavors. BL: Thank you, Kenny. KT: Unfortunately, we're out of time for today. Tune in Friday to see us back in front of the camera, bringing you that special style of segment that you all know and love. So long, everybody! [Cut back to Larry and Becky] BL: Wow, that Kenny is one smooth interviewer, huh? LM: [ignoring her] We heard from Mr. Mic earlier talking about an apparent alliance with Heavy Metal. Let's get Robo Stone's take on this alliance: [Cut to Robo Stone standing with HEAVY METAL in the IIWF interview area.] RS: So EVERYBODY wants to know what's UP with the AWESOME tag-team of Atlas and Apollo Steele, HEAVY METAL. Well, guess what. I'm not gonna tell the world. I'm gonna keep the knowledge and information between ME and Mr. Mic. AS: You're not even gonna tell US what you're gonna do? RS: NO. It's best that the thinkin' be left to the brains, and the fightin' be left to the brawn. AS: But we gotta know who we're gonna be fightin' and beatin' up! RS: Yeah, sure, I'll tell ya' two THAT! But only the masters a' the mind will know what the show's all about! And that's Mr. Mic and ME! HA! HA! HA! [Robo Stone smirks confidently while HEAVY METAL looks puzzled, yet supportive. Cut back to Larry and Becky.] ************************************************************************** ------------------------ IIWF SPECIAL REPORT -------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: You've probably noticed that we don't break away to special reports for just anything in this show... BL: Except if there is a dollar amount attached to it! LM: ...but I think this next segment qualifies. A week before Ring Wars II, the sinister Cadaver and Outlaw J.W. Hardin attacked Dan "Flash" Kauffman and locked him in an airtight casket. Kauffman recovered from the physical beating and even helped his team to a victory in the War Games match at Ring Wars II. BL: But he's screwed up in the head now. LM: Please, Becky. The casket incident seems to have affected Kauffman mentally as he seems preoccupied with this mysterious Cadaver. At a time when the IIWF needs Dan Kauffman more than ever, he seems to be... BL: Loonier than a flock of mother ducks! LM: Becky, PLEASE! He seems to be losing his grip on reality... and possibly his sanity. Who -- or WHAT -- is the demon Dan Kauffman must battle. Cadaver has already broken into Hell's Abyss, but now he has also crept into Dan Kauffman's very being. Our camera crew was at the Kauffman house when the following occurred: [Dan Kauffman approaches his own home from the small driveway that leads to it. Ginny Drury follows behind as Kauffman mumbles.] DK: So now I'm really confused. I've got the Awesome Alliance in the FWLI marking me for assassination, I've got Chris Quigley saying I'm jealous of him, I've jumped into a group when I've always been against them, and now I have no idea... GD: Whoa... You know, maybe you think too much. Before, it was always "go to the ring and get the job done." Now it's more of "Is what I'm doing right?" To be honest, that isn't up to you. DK: Yeah. That's just the way I am. [Drury shakes her head as the two enter the house and head downstairs.] GD: Really, you need to get your mind off of wrestling. Let go of some steam. DK: You're right... I think it's time for a ... [Before Kauffman can open the door to "Hell's Abyss", he becomes pale and frightened, like a little kid during a thunderstorm. His jaw trembles, and it's obvious that he's scared.] GD: What... What is... Hey...?? DK: He's here... Holy [BLEEP], HE'S HERE!!! GD: What are you talking about... [With a sudden burst, Kauffman sends his shoulder crashing through the wooden door, as if drawn downstairs into the Abyss. Kauffman plummets down the six wooden steps and somehow lands on his hands and knees. Pulling himself up, Kauffman sees the pool of blood in the ring and dripping from the roof, and is literally "shocked" back against the far wall. Drury stands at the now-nonexistent doorway at the top of the stairs, a look of sheer terror on her face.] GD: JESUS! What the... DK: [Terrified] It's started already. I didn't think he'd start his warfare so soon. But... God almighty... [Kauffman tries to walk back up to the ring, but about a foot from it, another silent force brings him to his knees with a terrified scream. Drury can stand to watch no more, and runs down to try to ease Kauffman...] GD: Shhh... he's not here anymore... He can't hurt you now. DK: He's here, Ginny. He's everywhere. That's the way he wants it. God, how can I even face him? That's impossib... GD: Dan! DK: It is... It's impossible... GD: Nothing is impossible. You must face your fear, Dan. You must! DK: [Shaking] You're right, of course... [Looks up into the pool of blood in the center of the ring...] I must get my life back... Oh God... I... I... Oh Jesus... [With that, Kauffman falls backwards in an apparent unconsciousness. Ginny looks up into the ring, then lays at the side of Kauffman, knowing not what to do as the shot fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: I... I don't know what to say, folks. BL: How about, "That Kauffman is one screwed-up looney bird?" Did you see him shaking? It was like that time the clown snuck up behind you and... LM: BECKY!! ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF MIDWEEK MAYHEM PREVIEW ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Let's take a look at the complete lineup for tomorrow night's Midweek Mayhem: DARK MATCHES: * Fisto Flash vs. [J] [D] * Billy Sexton vs. [J] [D] * The White Phoenix vs. Prisoner #109 [D] * Heavy Metal vs. Aces of the Deep [D] LIVE MATCHES: * IIWF World Tag Team Championship Match: Rising Sun Revolution vs. Armed Forces * IIWF World Heavyweight Championship Match: Otto Verhoeven vs. Vinny Cappicola * Zodiac Connection vs. Pain Inc. * Casey James vs. Marty Warnett * Man Of Steel vs. Magus * Subway Psycho vs. Mr. Damage * Hakiro Matsuoko & Joe Latta vs. The Sandman & Archangel ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Otto Verhoeven H 10 8 2 0 80% (WC) WC Tiger Claw H 26 15 10 1 60% (IC) IC "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 11 5 4 2 54% (19) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 20 15 3 2 80% (1) 1 The White Phoenix F 5 4 1 0 80% (2) 2 Chris Quigley F 9 7 2 0 78% (3) 3 Billy Shakespeare F 20 15 5 0 75% (CW) 4 Dan Kauffman F 19 13 4 2 74% (4) 5 Subway Psycho F 16 11 4 1 72% (5) 6 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 12 8 4 0 67% (6) 7 Hakiro Matsuoko H 18 11 6 1 64% (7) 8 Billy Sexton H 16 10 6 0 63% (8) 9 The Sandman H 10 6 4 0 60% (9) 10 Vinny Cappicola F 11 5 3 3 59% (10) 11 Casey James H 17 9 6 2 59% (11) 12 Don Antonio F 17 10 7 0 58% (13=) 13 Man Of Steel F 22 11 9 2 55% (15) 14 Mr. Damage H 11 6 5 0 55% (16) 15 Simon Lebec H 19 10 9 0 53% (12) 16 Joe Latta H 18 9 8 1 53% (17) 17 Robski H 17 9 8 0 53% (13=) 18 Marty Warnett F 12 6 6 0 50% (22) 19 The Hangman H 11 4 4 3 50% (18) 20 Fisto Flash H 17 7 8 2 47% (20) 21 Prince of Darkness H 16 6 7 3 47% (21) 22 Archangel F 7 3 4 0 43% (23) 23 Prisoner #109 H 11 3 7 1 32% (24) 24 Magus H 14 4 10 0 29% (25) 25 "Nuclear" John Bomber F 12 2 10 0 17% (26) 26 Ring Warrior II H 2 2 0 0 100% (27) 27 Onslaught F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 28= Lord Byron H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 28= Steve Kowalski H - - - - - (-) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 5 5 0 0 100% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ High Plains Drifters H 17 12 5 0 71% (2) 1 Heavy Metal H 7 5 2 0 71% (3) 2= Pain Inc. H 7 5 2 0 71% (5) 2= The Armed Forces H 15 10 4 1 70% (4) 4 The Arabian Knights H 9 6 3 0 67% (1) 5 Atomic Destroyers H 12 7 4 1 63% (7) 6 Stunt Team USA F 17 10 7 0 59% (6) 7 The Zodiac Connection F 8 4 4 0 50% (8) 8 Aces of the Deep F 9 2 7 0 22% (9) 9 Domination F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 10 The Dark Disciples H - - - - - (-) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ----- COMING FRIDAY: "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" WITH TIM DROSS ------ ************************************************************************** LM: Be sure to catch up on all the IIWF news and highlights on "Countdown to Saturday Night" with Tim Dross. BL: That's coming your way Friday night along most of these same stations... unless Larry has made every station manager decide to cancel the show. LM: Just watch the show, folks. Until then, this is Larry Morton for Becky LaRue saying so long, everyone. BL: He means "Nighty-Night!" [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle as the screaming fans try once again to get on camera. The young fan with the souvenir fist again snarls and swipes at the camera. The credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ Send mail to iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk with the subject lines: "send faq" for the FAQ + "send singles" or "send tag" for the rosters + "send handlers" for a list of handlers +------------------------------------+---------------------------+ URL: http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk/|President: Daniel Spreadbury +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+