[A montage of footage from recent IIWF events flashes over the screen, accompanied by a moody rock track: Cadaver and Dan Kauffman brawling backstage; Simon Lebec attacking Chris Quigley in the locker room; Deathbringer and the Syndicate clashing on a steel cage. Voice over:] VO: Dante wrote that there are seven circles of hell. Has the IIWF descended into the first circle? "Abandon hope all ye who enter here..." [The opening graphics explode onto the screen as the music picks up tempo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- + LIVE! + 23 October 1996 + IIWF Coliseum + [The title music fades to a beat behind the cheers of the crowd as the shot cuts to live interior footage of the IIWF Coliseum. Fireworks explode high in the rafters, and the shot pans down past row upon row of excited fans, coming to rest on the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure, at which stand Larry Morton and Becky LaRue.] LM: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum! Welcome to another edition of IIWF Midweek Mayhem! I'm Larry Morton, and alongside me, as always, is the beautiful and talented Becky LaRue. Chaos continues to reign here in the IIWF, Becky. BL: It sure does. Before long, we'll be flooded by the stuff. Hehehe... snort. LM: That joke is beginning to wear a little thin now, Becky. BL: Hehehe... LM: Fine. Well, folks, what a show we've got lined up for you tonight! We've got two championship matches coming your way, as the newly-crowned IIWF World Tag Team Champions, Rising Sun Revolution, defend against the men they defeated ten days ago at Ring Wars II, and the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven makes his first defence, facing Vinny Cappicola. BL: Those Italian hoods have been pretty quiet since Ring Wars II. Do you think Brian Lau had them silenced? Or perhaps they had a tragic accident leaving the Hoosier Dome, slipping over on their own hair grease and breaking their necks. LM: I really don't think that's the case, Becky. BL: We live in hope. LM: Speaking of Brian Lau, three of his Syndicate will be in action tonight, as Joe Latta and Hakiro Matsuoko team up against the Sandman and the Archangel... BL: ...or should that be Legion? I'll tell you what, if that guy changes his persona any more, his split personalities will make up a legion in themselves. LM: Well, whatever his name is, that seven foot monster is going to present some major problems for the Syndicate here in the Coliseum tonight. Slightly smaller in stature, but equally troublesome for Brian Lau, is the party animal, Marty Warnett, who will be going up against Casey James here. Casey had some very interesting things to say when he invaded the broadcast table last Saturday night. BL: And he'll make good on those promises tonight. Walnut had better practice that teenage girl-seducing toothy smile one more time, because after tonight, he's going to have no pearly whites left at all. LM: We'll see about that. In other action, the Zodiac Connection will be going up against Pain Inc., and we'll see the "People's Champion", the Subway Psycho, in action against Mr. Damage. The Psycho's tirade against the IIWF administration continues, Becky. BL: It's typical that a whining sewer-dwelling turd like the Psycho complains about corruption and nepotism in the IIWF front offices, and even when they wise up, he goes right on complaining. That man just can't live with the fact that he lost the IIWF Championship because he's a criminal. LM: Let's not dredge up that issue, Becky. But there are still numerous questions surrounding the integrity of the IIWF President, Dan Spreadbury. This past Saturday night, the President gave his first interview since Ring Wars II, and he continues to protest his innocence. He also seemed to imply that there was more to the appointment of the IIWF's new Vice-President, Steve Owens, than first meets the eye. BL: That new suit will be getting the full Becky treatment this Saturday night, Larry, in "LaRue's Lair". LM: [under his breath] What, for free? BL: I heard that, you little creep! LM: ... aaagh! ... erk ... BL: Try explaining _that_ to your wife, Morton. Anyway, as I was saying, I'll ask this new VP all the pertinent questions, and we'll get to the bottom of this industrial espionage once and for all. LM: ... aaak ... BL: What's that you say, Larry? We'll also see the Man Of Squeal in action tonight, facing Magus? Great. That drunken druggie will get what he deserves from that lunatic. LM: ... erk ... BL: Oh, I beg your pardon? Let's recap the action we've already seen here tonight before coming on air? Yeah, why not: - The almost impossibly beefy HEAVY METAL continued their rampage through the tag team ranks by taking out the fishmen, the ACES OF THE DEEP. The smelly ones brought their allies, the Zodiac Connection, down to ringside with them, fat lot of good it did them, and Heavy Metal, not content with filleting the Deepsters, did a number on the Zodiacs, too. Let's hope they're not in good enough shape to compete later on here tonight. - FISTO FLASH took out his frustrations on the unfortunate MASKED MARAUDER, executing not one but two Knucklebombs on the talentless prelim opponent, and in so doing sending out a clear message to the crimson masochist, Onslaught, who watched from behind an attractive curtain of security guards at the head of the aisle. - THE WHITE PHONEY... sorry, PHOENIX... scored a victory by default over PRISONER #109, who has apparently been taken back into the penitentiary facility from which he escaped some time ago to plague us here in the IIWF. The Phoney needn't have bothered even coming to the ring, but it was just as well he did, because he was joined at ringside by one Hakiro Matsuoko, and the two engaged in a minor scuffle before the Jobber Justice Squad broke up the situation. - "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON, who cost Billy Shakespeare the Cruiserweight Championship on Saturday night, was in action exhibiting the skills that make him one of the most feared submission wrestlers in the IIWF today. He quickly dispatched NICK NAME, and then got on the mic to badmouth Shakespeare, who was sadly not in the building to get his butt kicked. Come on, Larry. Don't you have anything to say? It's clear that I'm carrying this partnership. Of course, it's better for the ratings if you don't open your mouth, but still... LM: ... aaak ... BL: You've been taking elocution lessons from Domination, haven't you, Larry? LM: ... eugh ... [The timekeeper's bell rings.] BL: Come on, pull yourself together. It's time for tonight's first live match, as the Zodiac Connection face Pain Inc. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Zodiac Connection vs. Pain Inc. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: Well, this match should be interesting. BL: Sure... If Zodiac Connection don't show up... LM: Classy, Becky. BL: No, seriously. I'll tell you something... The only stars that Zodiac Connection will be seeing are the ones that they'll see after Pain Inc. pounds them over the head one too many times. LM: I have to admit that Pain Inc. have been impressive as of late. They're a tough pair of fellows. BL: You make them sound like they're fine upstanding citizens. LM: Really? I'll have to be careful about that. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 575 lbs, here are Taurus and Scorpio, the Zodiac Connection! [The lights dim, and diagrams of several astrological signs sail over the Coliseum. Zodiac Connection come out to the head of the aisle with their arms raised. The crowd pops, and they head to the ring slapping hands on the way.] BL: Looks like they think they won already. LM: I doubt that. They're not the type to take their opponents lightly. RA: Their opponents, weighing in at 585 lbs and led to the ring by Mr. Mic, Hellraiser and Morningstar, Pain Incorporated! ["More Human Than Human" begins to thud over the PA, and Pain Inc. begin to walk down the aisle. As usual, Hellraiser and Morningstar ignore the fans, while Mr. Mic shows off his team in the style of Vannah White.] BL: Could you imagine him in a sequined dress turning letters? LM: Please, Becky, son't tell us about last night... BL: What have I told you about watching my window, Larry? [The two teams get into the ring, and Pain Inc. immediately charges Zodiac Connection. Hellraiser takes on Taurus, and Morningstar takes on Scorpio. The teams trade shots for a while, and finally, Pain Inc. is forced out of the ring. The crowd pops as Zodiac Connection showboats to the crowd. Mr. Mic motions for his men to come closer, and he appears to give them some pointers for the match. HR gets up to the apron, and MS enters the ring. Taurus squares off against him, and the two lock up. Both men fight for an advantage until MS nails Taurus with a low blow. Taurus doubles over, and MS nails him in the head with a kick. Taurus straightens back up, but is floored with a thrust kick. MS plays to the crowd, which brings a good sized heel pop.] LM: Looks like the advice of Mr. Mic paid off. BL: That's what they pay him for... Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand that. [MS tags in HR, and the bigger member of Pain Inc. begins to drop an elbow on Taurus. Taurus rolls out of the way. HR goes for another elbow drop, and again, Taurus moves out of the way. Taurus leaps to his feet, rather quick for a big man. He then tackles HR as he gets up. The crowd pops as HR goes down, and Taurus tags in Scorpio. Scorpio leaps to the top rope, and lauches himself in a high cross body block on HR. The ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by HR. Scorpio gets up and drags HR to his feet, but gets a thumb to the eye for his troubles. Scorpio staggers back, and HR tags in MS. MS comes off the ropes and slams into Scorpio, sending him flying into the corner. MS follows in with a splash, then lays in with a series of knees and kicks.] LM: Pain Inc. sure knows how to mount an offense, Becky. BL: While you have a knack for mounting offensive people. LM: _BECKY!_ BL: Don't ever yell at me again... Wait a minute, what's this? [Two men dressed in black and festooned with tattoos run into the ring and begin to attack the two members of Pain Inc. The crowd pops, and the ref calls for the bell.] LM: Those are the same guys that attacked Takezo Musashi! BL: You've got a mind like a steel trap, you do... A bit rusty, though. [The evil looking fellows continue to obliterate Pain Inc. as Zodiac Connection looks on. Just as HR and MS fall to the mat, the evil guys turn and drop Taurus and Scorpio, sending them out of the ring. Mr. Mic jumps onto the apron, but gets a boot upside the head for his troubles.] LM: Just who are these guys siding with? BL: Three guys... Themselves, and Don McQueen. [The Evil crew seems content with the carnage, and swiftly leave the ring to go back up the aisle. The crowd is heavily engaged in a heel pop as they leave.] LM: Well, I guess these guys are sending a message to the tag teams in the IIWF. BL: And it's a pretty clear one. Don't get in their way... Don't even think of getting in their way... Don't even make it look like you may get in their way at any point in the future... Don't even... LM: Okay, Becky, I think we get the point. BL: I'll give you a point. LM: GaaagAAAHHH!!! Agony... OOoohhh... Gaaa! Watch the nail! BL: You like that point, Clownboy? LM: [recovering slowly] Okay, up next we'll be seeing the Man Of Steel in action. For the past few weeks, Steel really hasn't been himself. Ever since he was involved in an unfortunate car accident and has been forced to wrestle in a mask, but allegations from all sides -- Robski and Casey James being two of the most vocal rumour-mongers -- have questioned whether Steel has in fact been struggling against alcohol and substance abuse for some time. BL: The guy's a junkie, Larry. He's gotten so bad, he even has blackouts and can't remember wrestling! Rather like Yawnbringer, I guess. LM: Now now, Becky. Anyhow, Steel's actions over the past few weeks have been somewhat less than exemplary, and the fans really don't know what to make of him. It's been ten days since he was dragged out of the caged Wargames match at Ring Wars II where he began attacking his own team-mates. BL: He might have just about sobered up by now, then. LM: Well, let's find out. Over to you, Sparkplug. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Man Of Steel vs. Magus -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee climbs into the ring, nearly tripping over the bottom rope as he does so. The crowd give him a little cheer, and he looks into the sea of faces, blushing.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall: introducing first, coming down the aisle, [The manic laughter of "They're coming to take me away" blares out over the PA], weighing in at 303lbs, here is... Maaaaaagus! [Magus appears at the head of the aisle and looks around with wild eyes. He runs, almost ape-like towards the ring, and slides in under the ropes. He screams at Sparkplug, who cringes. The fans give him little reaction, but it is all negative.] RA: And introducing his opponent: hailing from Kansas, and weighing in at 227lbs, here is the: Maaaaaaaan of Steeeeeeel! [Moderate heel pop for Steel as he appears alone at the head of the aisle, still masked. He ignores the crowd on his way to the ring as they wave home-made posters, including one which reads, "Man Of Steel? Man Of BEER More Like!", in his face. One young fan at ringside angrily shreds an official IIWF Man Of Steel (slogan: "He's Super, Man!") poster as Steel climbs the ringsteps.] LM: These fans seem to have made up their mind about Steel, Becky. BL: I'm amazed that it's taken them this long to cotton on to what a loser this guy really is. I mean, anybody who wears his pyjamas to the ring must be without hope. LM: Those aren't pyjamas, Becky. BL: Then what it is he wears in bed doesn't bear thinking about, Larry. [Steel enters the ring and immediately charges Magus with a shoulderblock. He is unable to knock the big man off his feet, however, and a big brawl between the two breaks out. Magus knocks Steel to the mat with a hard right hand, and he even gets a small pop for doing so. He looks out to the crowd, which turns out to be a fatal mistake, as Steel crashes into him with a clothesline. Magus goes down, and Steel immediately begins stomping away at his unbalanced opponent, dragging him to his feet and raking his eyes across the ropes. Steel uses the ropes to whiplash Magus back into the ring, and while the referee turns to check on the big man, Steel begins untying one of the turnbuckle pads.] LM: Oh, come on! Ref, turn around! That's a disqualification offence right there! BL: Only if the official sees it, Larry. [Steel manages to pull off the pad, and turns back to Magus just as the official is beginning to become suspicious. He drags Magus to his feet and whips him into the corner opposite the exposed buckle. He follows him in and executes a back suplex into the ring. Steel drags Magus to his feet again and points across the ring at the exposed buckle. Big heel pop! Suddenly, there is a commotion in the aisle, and two figures dash down to the ring.] LM: Hey -- wait a minute! That's Bibbo Bibowski and... and the Man Of Steel! BL: You're kidding me. The Man Of Beer has got so drunk that he's not just seeing double, he's _being_ double! LM: And this new Man Of Steel is going to work on the masked one, folks! The referee's called for the bell, and Magus has rolled out of there. [Magus leaps over the barrier and disappears into the crowd while Bibbo and the new Steel work over the masked athlete. They together whip him into the exposed turnbuckle, and he connects with tremendous force. The crowd is totally confused as the masked Steel staggers back into the ring and into the clutches of Bibbo. The new Steel signals to the ring announcer for the microphone.] BL: Oooh... can the monkey talk? LM: Shh... it looks like we've got an imposter here, folks. MOS: Folks, ladies and gentlemen, settle down, please! I'm here tonight to tell you that the Man Of Steel -- and I mean the real deal Man Of Steel, not this masked phoney -- is back! [The crowd settles.] Nobody believed me when I told you a couple of weeks ago that the Man Of Steel who had been wrestling under the mask wasn't me. Everybody thought I was so drunk and drugged that I couldn't remember stepping in the ring. Well, that simply isn't true. This imposter [he gives the entrapped masked Steel a jab in the ribs] has been misleading all of you, my great fans, and it's my duty to unmask him for the fraud he is! [Murmurs in the crowd.] I know, I know, you're all asking why I didn't come out here sooner. Well, what can I say? Bibbo and myself have been relying on rental cars in the few weeks since the crash, and on the budget the IIWF is giving me, those cars barely go a few miles before breaking down. Now, I'm not the kind of guy to spread rumours, but, folks, it seems to me that the IIWF didn't _want_ me coming out here and unmasking this imposter. It seems to me that officials in the front office want to discredit the Man Of Steel. It seems to me that the lying toad that we are forced to call our President [big pop] wants to drag the Man Of Steel through the mud. Well, let me tell you something, "President" Dan. From this moment on, the Man Of Steel is back in the IIWF. And _this_ guy... [Steel rips the facial appliance from the imposter Steel. Some of the fans appear to recognise the scrawny individual who is unmasked.] LM: That's... that's Scott "the Whine" Bloom! BL: Should have known. He's the only other emaciated little rat who could possibly be as obnoxious as the Man Of Squeal. [Steel slaps the imposter around a bit, eliciting a small pop from the crowd.] MOS: _This_ guy... sold out for an easy buck. This guy doesn't finish the things he started. Well, "President" Dan, the Man Of Steel _does_ finish what he starts. And here's a little clue as to what myself, and the other right-thinking wrestlers in the IIWF, are going to do to you! [Steel whips Bloom into the exposed turnbuckle a second time, busting his nose quite severely. "The Whine" crumples to the canvas clutching his bleeding protuberance as Steel raises his arms to the crowd, who finally begin cheering him again. "Made in Heaven" starts up over the PA, and Steel showboats in the crowd along with Bibbo before heading back up the aisle.] LM: Well, thank goodness that's cleared up, Becky... the real Man Of Steel is alive and well and back in the IIWF! Even I was starting to believe that Steel had fallen by the wayside... but instead, I'm really forced to wonder whether the IIWF President is as innocent as he claims. BL: People should applaud President Dan for trying to keep the Ham of Steel away from the IIWF. This poor guy just can't do anything right at the moment. Although if he were to give me a raise, that would be a good start. LM: The corruption in the IIWF's front office appears to go deeper than we previously thought. If they'll encourage the use of cheap imposter wrestlers rather than the real deal, who knows how low they'll stoop? [Cut to the announcer's table.] BL: Oh, stop being so melodramatic, Larry. Life is just beginning to get interesting around here! LM: Well, things are certainly about to get a whole lot more interesting as Casey "Blackheart" James takes on the Welsh warrior, Marty Warnett. [In the crowd behind the table, a man in the guise of a clown makes his way to the front row. He reaches over the crowd barrier and taps Larry on the shoulder. Larry turns around, and does a double take. He screams in fright and practically destroys the broadcast setup as he takes flight up the aisle in his terror. The clown climbs over the barrier and removes his mask, donning Larry's headset. The crowd gives a heel pop as they realise that "Badboy" Randy Acorn has decided to do a little guest commentary.] BL: Well, if it isn't the new IIWF Cruiserweight Champion! Thanks, Randy... you finally got rid of the _real_ clown around here. RA: My pleasure, Becky. Seems to me that one half of this broadcast outfit was a little lacking in class, and I'm not talking about you, if you know what I mean. So I decided to bring a special something to this pathetic show... the class of a champion! BL: It's great to have you along, Randy. Any words on the two men we're about to see up next? RA: Hey, the "Badboy"'s always got words for everybody. Casey James -- he's a great competitor... but Farty Walnut, man, what a loser. This rookie comes into the league and starts putting the badmouth on just about everybody he can find, and each and every week, he gets his ass kicked. You'd think the guy could take a hint, but he just goes on stirring up trouble, first with the Syndicate, and then with Lord Byron... When they're through with him, I'll take what's left and kick his sorry ass right out of the IIWF for good. BL: Wise words indeed. Let's get up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Marty Warnett vs. Casey "Blackheart" James -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee climbs into the ring and casts an icy glare at Randy Acorn. One fan holds up a "Randy Ol' Sparkplug's a Bad Boy!" sign at ringside.] BL: Hey, Sparkplug's giving you the evil eye. RA: That pervert had better watch his step, or I'll give him one evil beating. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, making his way to the ring, hailing from Cardiff, Wales, and weighing in at 245lbs, here is the party maniac: Maaaaaaaaarty Waaaarnett! [Big pop as "Cold Gin" rocks over the PA, and Warnett appears at the head of the aisle. He wears an official "Marty Warnett took me partying, and all I got was this lousy shirt." T-shirt, which he quickly sheds at the top of the aisle and hurls into the crowd, where it is grabbed by one particularly excited female teenage fan.] RA: Huh, if Walnut took you partying, you'd get a whole lot more than just a T-shirt... you'd end up with some horrible sexual disease. BL: Hehehehe... snort. [Warnett makes his way to the ring and makes a circuit of the ring. He stops at the announcers' table and takes a close look at the Cruiserweight belt laid out in front of Acorn. Acorn stands and gets in Warnett's face.] RA: Yeah, you want the gold, Walnut?! Tough [bleep], asswipe. You're too heavy, and you just don't have what it takes to get into the ring with the "Badboy" of the IIWF! [Warnett smiles a knowing smile and backs away from Acorn, signalling that he wants no part of him. He continues around the ring, showboating to the fans, before climbing the stairs and stepping between the ropes.] BL: Warnett's only five pounds over the weight limit for the Runtweight division... whoops, I mean Cruiserweight division. RA: That's okay, Becky. I don't hit classy ladies like yourself. Those homeless mothers in the street and their scrounging kids, sure, but real classy ladies like yourself, never. BL: Anyway, as I was saying... if Warnett lost those five pounds, would you defend your title against him? RA: He'd lose a lot more than five pounds if he ever stepped in the ring with me, Becky, I guarantee it. The only thing he'd gain would be a nice five week stay in the local intensive care unit. RA: And introducing his opponent: representing the Syndicate, and accompanied to the ring by Joe Latta, hailing from Washington, DC, and weighing in at 320lbs, here is Casey "Blaaaaackheart" Jaaaames! [Big heel pop as "Foul Taste of Freedom" starts up over the PA and Casey, with Joe walking by his side, appears at the head of the aisle. The two men smirk in contempt at the crowd and make their way down to the ring.] RA: This should be quick and, unfortunately, relatively painless for that Welsh oik. The Syndicate crushes Walnuts for breakfast. There might not even be anything left for me to destroy after this match. [Casey climbs into the ring, and immediately the referee is forced to signal for the bell as the two men start brawling. Casey takes the early upper hand, whipping Warnett into the ropes and nearly taking his head off with a lariat.] BL: That Welsh wimp can't hope to match strength with the Syndicate's powerhouse. And he sure can't match brains, either. [Casey goes to work on Warnett with a volley of high-offense manouevres; a backbreaker, a powerbomb, and a double axe-handle from the top rope. He makes a nonchalant cover on Warnett - 1 - 2 -- Warnett just about gets his shoulder off the mat before the ref's hand goes down for a third time, but Casey stays right on him, laying in with boots and fists.] RA: It's been all Casey so far, as you'd expect. Walnut's getting beaten black and blue by the Blackheart! [The ref warns Casey about his underhand tactics, and the Syndicate member threatens the official before applying an armbar submission on Warnett. The crowd begins a "Mar - ty! Mar - ty! Mar - ty!" chant as Warnett attempts to break the hold. The referee checks on Warnett, but the Welshman refuses to submit. Eventually, the crowd's support prompts Marty to struggle against the weight of Casey, who yanks Warnett's arm back further to exacerbate the damage. Warnett gets up on one knee, and lashes out with his free arm, catching Casey across the jaw. Another swipe allows him to break free of the hold, and he gets to his feet in a new-found burst of energy. The crowd give him a big pop as he bounces off the ropes and nails Casey with a knee to the temple. Casey is stunned, and Warnett leaps over his opponent's back, dragging his head over forwards and snapping his neck back. Warnett quickly bounces back to his feet and continues his assault with a volley of stomps on Casey. He grabs James' legs and begins to wrap him up in his figure four leglock, but Latta leaps to the apron and begins yelling at Warnett, who forgets about Casey and grabs at Latta, who leaps to the floor. Warnett follows him out, and the two begin brawling on the outside.] BL: This isn't a smart move by Warnett. Casey's worn him down for the past five minutes, and now he wants to get into a fight with a fresh Latta on the outside? RA: Are you offering me a cup of coffee, or what, Becky? BL: Hehehehe... snort. [Warnett gets his head rammed into the steel crowd barriers by Latta, and the referee leaves the ring to try and break up the two warring athletes. Meanwhile, Casey rolls out of the ring and holds Warnett in position while Latta, pushing the official out of the way, grabs a steel chair. He brandishes it at Warnett -- and Warnett ducks out of the way! Latta labels James with the chair to a big pop! Casey goes down, stunned, and Latta stands there in shock. Warnett grabs the chair and clouts Latta with it, knocking him down, before rolling back into the ring. The referee makes the count on the two downed Syndicate members as Brian Lau and Hakiro Matsuoko run down to ringside to try and revive them. The crowd chants along with the count - "... 7! 8! 9!" Brian gets Casey standing again, and shakes him to try and clear out the cobwebs. The count reaches 10! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: No way! This is a joke. Catch ya later, doll... I've got a Welsh ass to whoop! [Acorn rips off his headset, and leaps into the ring, where he sets about Warnett to a big heel pop. Lau gathers his troops and heads back up the aisle, deciding that discretion is the better part of valour, and they pass Lord Byron on the way. The blueblood makes his way to the ring and enters, joining with Acorn in beating on Warnett with his brass-topped cane.] BL: This is great! Byron and the Badboy are doing a real number on Warnett here! Hang on -- who's that? Oh no! It's the "Enema" and the human ashtray! [Huge pop for the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and the White Phoenix as they sprint down the aisle to the aid of Warnett. The Phoenix clotheslines Acorn from the ring, and Musashi dropkicks Byron, causing the Lancastrian to tumble through the ropes to the outside. Big pop! Musashi and Chow tend to Warnett as Acorn and Byron turn tail and head up the aisle, making threatening gestures at the Oriental duo as they go.] BL: Those two spoilsports have a lot to answer for here. Mind you, Acorn and Byron will have their chance to even the score this Saturday Night. Oh, shoot. Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, Larry Morton turns up. [Morton heads down the aisle and rejoins Becky at the broadcast table. He is still a little shaky.] LM: Phew... Randy Acorn's mastery of disguise has really got beyond a joke. BL: On the contrary, seeing you hightail it out of here was the highlight of my night so far. LM: Well, did I miss anything? What are the Enigma and the Phoenix doing out here? BL: Spoiling my fun. Next question? [Chow and Musashi help Warnett to his feet, and assist him up the aisle. The crowd gives them a great ovation as "Cold Gin" blares out over the PA.] LM: Okay, folks, I think I've gotten over my little fright now... BL: [aside] ...more's the pity... LM: ...so let's get back up to the ring for our next match. The new IIWF World Tag Team Champions, Rising Sun Revolution, will defend against the former champions, the Armed Forces! BL: Aaron's men are going to take back the belts that are rightfully theirs right here tonight. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Rising Sun Revolution vs. Armed Forces --------------------------------------- LM: I can't wait to see the new champions in action! BL: Humph... Everyone's on Lau's case about paying off the President while these guys do the same thing, and they get cheered. LM: What are you talking about? That's not true! BL: You're so stupid, Larry. How else do you think a team gets put into a match at the last minute like that? LM: President Dan was just trying to give the fans what they wanted. BL: Well, what about what Lau said on Tuesday? That he was the one that got the Rising Sun Revolution into that match? LM: It wouldn't be the first time Mr. Lau out and out lied. BL: And Mr. Lau, if you're listening, I'll be available to give you Mr. Morton's home address later this evening. LM: Sparkplug's about to announce the teams... Let's go to ringside. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next tag team match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IIWF World Tag Team Championship! [Big crowd pop] Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 643 lbs, accompanied to the ring by Aaron the Caddy, the former IIWF Tag Team Champions, NavCom, DefCon, The Armed Forces! [A series of guns and sirens are heard as the former champs come out to the aisle with Aaron the Caddy. They make motions of belts around their waists, and the crowd boos. Aaron steps up to the camera, and starts shouting about regaining the belts while waving around his golf club.] LM: I sure hope that club doesn't come into play tonight, Becky. BL: Well, I'd have to disagree with you, Larry. I hope Aaron smacks one of those idiots in Rising Damp Devolution over the head with it to teach them a lesson. RA: Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 570 lbs, are the current IIWF World Tag Team Champions. [Crowd pops as the theme for "Bladerunner" begins to play over the PA.] Here are Hiroshi "Daioni" Kasai and Ryudo "Taisu" Kenjinata, the Rising Sun Revolution! [The crowd goes nuts as the lights dim, and The champions appear at the head of the aisle. They hold their belts over their heads, and several rockets go off behind them. The two men jog down the aisle, slapping hands on the way, and make it to the ring. The Armed Forces bail out, and flares on all the four ring posts begin to burn.] LM: These guys are pure electricity! BL: And they're also unfit champions... LM: What!? BL: They should never have been in that match at Ring Wars II. [The Armed Forces enter the ring again, along with Aaron. Aaron threatens the RSR with his club, telling them to get ready to be hit with it. Hiroshi looks amusedly, not understanding a word of the tirade, and makes "yappy" motions with his hand. Ryudo motions toward the head of the aisle, and the crowd pops as Domination appears.] BL: Oh, come on. What's the point of this? LM: Domination are friends of the RSR, Becky. I think they want to help. [Domination make it to the ring, and Ryudo speaks with them, occasionally pointing at Aaron and making swinging club motions. Monster and Mr. Psycho nod their heads, and stand on the outside, watching Aaron. The ref calls for the bell to start the match, and Hiroshi starts off against DefCon. The two circle each other until DefCon steps in and gets in Hiroshi's face. DefCon begins talking trash to Hiroshi, which Hiroshi promptly fails to understand. Hiroshi understands the slap to his face, however, and retaliates with a punch that rattles DefCon. DefCon steps back, and Hiroshi follows up with a left hand. DefCon steps back to lean on the ropes. Hiroshi throws DefCon into the opposite ropes, and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the rebound. Big pop. Hiroshi drags DefCon to his feet and starts yelling in Japanese in his face, then slaps DefCon across the head. The crowd pops even louder. Hiroshi tags in his partner, Ryudo. Hiroshi stands in the corner as Ryudo leaps to the top rope. Hiroshi launches Ryudo into a flying clothesline, which connects solidly. Big pop.] LM: That's what makes the Rising Sun Revolution so effective. They work so well together as a team. BL: Blah Blah Blah... You forgot to mention the President they've got in their pocket. [Ryudo goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by DefCon. Ryudo drags DefCon to his feet, but gets a forearm in the groin as DefCon gets up. DefCon staggers to his corner and tags in NavCom. NavCom comes in and uppercuts Ryudo several times to back him into the ropes. NavCom whips Ryudo to the other side, and hits a flying clothesline that sends Ryudo crashing to the mat. NavCom showboats to the crowd to a heel pop. NavCom drags Ryudo up again, and throws him into the ropes. NavCom knees Ryudo in the stomach, then locks on an abdominal stretch. The crowd rallies behind Ryudo, as does Hiroshi. NavCom spits at Hiroshi, causing him to enter the ring. The ref intercepts him, and DefCon rushes in behind the ref to taunt Hiroshi. As the ref tries to keep control of the men, Aaron leaps up to the apron, brandishing his club. He positions himself near Ryudo, but before he can swing, Mr. Psycho clips Aaron's leg. Monster jumps onto the apron and grabs the club from Aaron. He knocks Aaron in the head with it, causing the manager to fall to the floor. Moster then cracks NavCom over the head with the club, causing the hold to be broken. He drops the club and jumps from the apron.] BL: I knew that those Domination guys were all trouble. LM: Aaron was about to do the same thing to Ryudo! BL: Yeah, but Aaron does it with class. [DefCon goes back over to the corner after hearing the club shot, and Hiroshi leaves the ring again. The ref turns to see both men laying on the mat. Ryudo slowly crawls over to his corner, tagging in Hiroshi. Hiroshi makes sure his partner is okay, and goes over to drag NavCom up. Hiroshi picks up NavCom in a side slam position, as Ryudo makes his way to the top rope. Ryudo launches off with a leg drop while Hiroshi slams NavCom down to the canvas. Hiroshi goes for the cover... 1 - DefCon enters the ring - 2 - Ryudo punches the big man, cutting him off from the cover - 3!! Ding! Ding! The crowd pops loudly, as does Domination on the outside.] LM: The Rising Sun Revolution win it with the Naginata Nightmare! BL: And a shot with a golf club. LM: Well, that too. [Domination enter the ring to celebrate with their friends, and the four men leave the ring and walk back up the aisle together to a good crowd reaction. In the ring, DefCon tends to his virtually unconscious partner. Aaron is totally out on the floor.] LM: A succesful title defense from the Rising Sun Revolution. These guys are one of the best tag teams out there, Becky. BL: I wouldn't go _that_ far. They're champions, sure, but they've hardly wrestled in the IIWF. I mean, compared to a team like the High Plains Drifters. LM: Their record is really impressive, though. BL: And so is yours, Larry... You're undefeated. LM: But I don't wrestle. BL: Exactly. LM: Anyway, the Forces have been assisted back to the locker room, and we're ready for our next match. We're going to see the "People's Champion", the Subway Psycho, in action against the Antipodean athlete with an attitude, Mr. Damage. BL: I don't much like either of these guys. Mr. Damage has a stupid accent, and the Psycho just has an unpleasant scent. LM: Oh, ha ha. Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Subway Psycho vs. Mr. Damage -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: No matter how many times I see him in action, The Subway Psycho never fails to entertain me. BL: Well, he fails to pull that off every time I see him. He stinks. Literally _and_ figuratively. LM: Come on, Becky. With that entrance, and that finishing move? BL: Come on what? He doesn't have the skill it takes to reach the top here. He got lucky once, but you'll never see him there again. If you'll look to the aisle, I think you'll see someone who will agree with me. [Brian Lau is seen coming down the aisle to a huge heel pop.] LM: Oh, great. That's just what we need. I thought Tim Dross had it bad on Saturday with Casey James. At least Lau hasn't brought a [shudder] clown with him. [Brian reaches the broadcast table, pushes Larry Morton to the side, and puts on a pair of headphones.] Brian: Well, Becky, I trust that things are well with you. BL: Well, yes, Brian. How are you? LM: Umm, Mr. Lau, can I have my seat back? Brian: Well, Becky, you know me... Always busy... LM: Excuse me... BL: Ignore him, Brian, he's an idiot. Brian: Ignore who? BL: Exactly. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 245 lbs and hailing from Melbourne, Australia, Mr. Damage! [Good heel pop as Mr. Damage walks down the aisle. He flips off the fans as they boo him. A small group of fans near the ring cheer him, but Mr. Damage looks at them and shakes his head, causing the small group to cheer even more.] BL: What do you think of this guy, Brian? Brian: Oh, he knows how to hurt people, that's for sure. Maybe I'll offer him a job. I'm looking to expand, you know. LM: Hey! Let me sit down! BL: Really? Who are your prospects right now? Brian: Oh, I couldn't say right now... Let's just say I've been looking over the tag teams lately, and I'm always on the lookout for fresh faces to add to the Syndicate. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 255 lbs and hailing from New York City, being accompanied to the ring by Mistress Sasha, The Subway Psycho! [The lights drop, and the crowd pops. Crazy Train begins to play, and the fans cheer in time with the beat. A single spotlight picks out the Psycho and Sasha, and both of them begin to walk the aisle.] Brian: These two sicken me. Especially that little harlot, Sasha. BL: She used to be in your favour, Brian. Brian: Well, I'm sure you can see why she's not now... Little tramp didn't know where she stood. She had it all in the Syndicate, but now she's just another sewer rat. I've got money. What does that sewer urchin have? BL: How much money, Brian? Brian: I'd rather not say, otherwise that subway idiot might break into my Dojo yet again. [Psycho enters the ring, and notices Lau at the broadcaster's table. He calls over to Sasha, and motions over to Lau. They both begin laughing.] Brian: Who the hell are they laughing at? Oh, they'll regret that. [Psycho waves off the Syndicate leader, and gets clobbered from behind by Mr. Damage. Damage follows up with a series of double axehandles across the back of the neck of the Psycho, and the Psycho falls to one knee. Damage nods his head to Lau at the table, and continues to work on the fallen Psycho.] LM: What was that? Brian: Oh, Larry... Nice to see that you found a chair... What were you asking? LM: What was that nod for? Brian: If you had paid attention, you'd have heard that I was going to have the Psycho punished. Do you think that the alliance is over just because Hardin is gone? Not a chance. Mr. Damage and I are on speaking terms... [Damage continues his attacks on the Psycho's neck, then locks on a reverse chinlock, weakening the neck even more. The crowd rallies behind the Psycho, and he fights to one knee. Damage throws a knee into the back of the Psycho, forcing him back down. Again, the crowd rallies behind the People's Champion. The Psycho fights to one knee, then up to his feet. He turns into the hold, and lets loose an elbow into the stomach of Mr. Damage. Damage loosens the hold, and Psycho hits with another elbow. Damage releases the hold, and Psycho comes off the ropes. Damage sidesteps and throws a knee into the stomach of Psycho, throwing him into a 360 flip onto his back on the mat.] Brian: I just love to see that moron suffer. BL: You should... I enjoy watching you make that moron suffer. LM: Becky, you're beginning to sound just like you sound when you're kissing up to the payroll clerk... OOF!! BL: Shut up, you little maggot. [Damage executes a double stomp on Psycho's stomach, and goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Psycho. Damage gets to his feet and drags the Psycho up. He executes a backbreaker, and then goes for the cover again... 1 - 2 - Kickout. Damage gets up again and curses. He drags Psycho to his feet and throws him into the ropes. Psycho ducks a clothesline, and hits with a flying shoulder tackle on the rebound. Both men go down, holding their respective hurt bits. Psycho gets up first, and drags Mr. Damage to his feet. Psycho executes a belly to back suplex, lauching Damage up and back towards the corner. Big Pop. Psycho follows up with a leg drop, then a cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Damage. Psycho drops an elbow, then begins to climb the ropes.] Brian: Looks like Psycho's getting the upper hand. I repeat, It looks like Psycho's getting the upper hand. LM: What are you doing? Brian: Calling the action... What does it look like? BL: Yeah, Larry... Leave him alone. [Big heel pop as Tiger Claw is seen running down the aisle. Psycho gets to the top rope just in time for Tiger Claw to hop up on the apron, run across, and clothesline Psycho's legs out from under him. Psycho falls, hitting his head rather hard on the turnbuckle as he comes down to the mat. Tiger Claw leaps over the top rope, hitting a leg drop on the way down. The ref calls for the bell. Tiger Claw drags up Mr. Damage, and makes sure he can administer a beating. Claw seems satisfied with the condition of Damage, so both men go to work on the People's Champion. Tiger Claw tells Damage to hold Psycho down, and Damage does. Tiger Claw leaps to the top rope, and signals for the Golden Tiger Strike. He launches off, dropping the knee across the Psycho's head. Psycho appears to be out, and Claw gets in his face, slapping it occasionally.] Brian: Now _this_ is entertainment! LM: This is disgusting! There's no reason for this! BL: Sure there is. [Tiger Claw begins to climb the ropes again, and the crowd begins to pop. Marty Warnett runs down the aisle to the ring. Tiger Claw sees him enter, and changes his attack. He comes off the ropes, and hits with his knee across Warnett's head. Warnett staggers back, holding the side of his face.] BL: The Golden Tiger Strike on a standing opponent! Wow! Brian: Hey, he's not the champ for nothing, Becky. [Tiger Claw closes in on Warnett just in time for Warnett to hit him with a reverse thrust kick. Security piles into the ring and separates all parties. Mr. Damage is held in one corner, Tiger Claw in another, and Warnett in another corner. The Psycho is still laying in the fourth corner, seemingly knocked unconscious by the Golden Tiger Strike.] BL: I'm glad security showed up... Warnett had no business in there. LM: Huh? What about Tiger Claw? Brian: I asked him to protect me... I thought that Psycho was going to come after me. LM: Oh, come on! Brian: On another note, though... At first I didn't even want to acknowledge this little rookie, Warnett. Now that he's meddled in my affairs, I'm going to have to have him taken care of. Casey didn't get the chance tonight, but Warnett won't be a thorn in the Syndicate's side for much longer, you can count on it. [In the ring, security has escorted Warnett out, and are in the process of escorting Mr. Damage and Tiger Claw from the ringside area. A pair of officials tend to the Psycho. With the help of smelling salts, Psycho is revived, and sits in the corner, shaking off the blow to his head.] LM: Well, at least the Psycho is okay. I've just been told that the official word is that Mr. Damage was disqualified, which means the match was awarded to the Subway Psycho. Brian: And look at him... Doesn't he look like a winner all sprawled out like that? To me, the winner is the one who doesn't lose consciousness. BL: Brian, are we going to see any more matches between Tiger Claw and Subway Psycho? Brian: Of course... Tiger Claw would never pass up the chance to beat his most hated enemy into the dirt. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go backstage and get Hakiro and Joe ready for their match. LM: Hang on, Brian, what about Joe's part in Casey's defeat earlier toni...? Brian: [interrupting] Out of my way, you pathetic excuse for a broadcaster. [Lau pushes Morton aside and heads up the aisle. Larry brushes himself down and sits back in his chair next to Becky.] LM: What a rude man. BL: Oh, shut it, Larry. LM: You'd think that with Casey coming up short earlier tonight, Lau would be a little more concerned about the way Joe got involved in that match. BL: Brian Lau knows all too well that there's more to life than a great win/loss record. Remember who the Intercontinental Champion is right now. LM: I'll grant you that. Right now, we're going to see two more members of the Syndicate in action against some more of their seemingly endless supply of enemies... the Dark Knights. BL: It's lights out time for the Sandman and Archangel! LM: We'll soon find out... let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Hakiro Matsuoko & Joe Latta vs. Sandman & Archangel =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee takes centre ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the ring accompanied by the Prince of Darkness, representing the Dark Knights, here are the Sandman and Archangel! [Moderate pop for the Knights as they appear at the head of the aisle. A red spotlight follows the Archangel and the Sandman as they slowly walk to the ring, ignoring the clamouring fans.] LM: The Knights have certainly risen in my estimation since they joined Deathbringer's cause at Ring Wars II. BL: Well, there's a surprise. RA: And introducing their opponents: led to the ring by Brian Lau, and representing the Syndicate, here are Hakiro Matsuoko and Joe Latta! [Big heel pop for the combined forces of the Syndicate as they make their way down the aisle.] LM: It's amazing that Lau can still look so confident, even after the cock-up in Casey's match earlier tonight. BL: Brian has plenty of reasons to be happy, Larry, not least of which the fact that he manages four of the greatest and most dangerous athletes in the IIWF. [The Syndicate reach the ring, and Latta, keen to make up for his previous inadequacies, boldly steps between the ropes, beckoning to the Knights to bring it on. Archangel stares straight at Latta and takes a step towards him. That's all the provocation Latta needs, and he launches in with a flurry of punches and kicks, whipping the big man into the ropes, and clotheslining him. Archangel, however, doesn't go down. Latta makes a second attempt, but is this time grabbed by the throat, and slammed to the mat. Big pop! Latta rolls out of the ring to collect himself, and is given some words of advice by Brian Lau.] LM: Latta may still be a rookie in some ways, but he now knows when to get out of the ring and take a few moments to collect himself. [Latta climbs back to the apron, and Archangel tries to drag his opponent back into the ring. Latta drives a shoulder into Archangel's midsection, and then, in an impressive display of agility, sunset flips over the big man, bringing him crashing down in the centre of the ring. Archangel is pinned - 1 - 2 - kickout! He stomps on Archangel, who attempts to make the tag to the Sandman, but Latta grabs his leg and drags him back towards the Syndicate's corner. He tags in Matsuoko, who leaps over the ropes and crashes down on the big man with a knee drop. Archangel fights to his feet, and Matsuoko hits him with a volley of kicks and chops, before whipping him into the ropes and hitting his trademark spinning leg lariat, which, despite getting good elevation, only hits Archangel in the chest, and the big man doesn't go down. Matsuoko winds up for a second spin kick, but Archangel grabs his flying leg, quickly sweeps out the other, sending Matsuoko crashing to the mat, and tags in the Sandman.] LM: Uncharacteristic quickness from the Archangel there; he knows when he needs to get out of the ring. BL: When he's getting his butt kicked by the Syndicate, you mean? [The Sandman storms the ring and quickly goes to work on Matsuoko, whipping him into the ropes and hitting with a nicely-executed dropkick. Hakiro goes down. Meanwhile, on the apron, Latta is shouting words of encouragement to his partner, and reaching for the tag. Matsuoko, however, is on the receiving end of a brainbuster suplex by the Sandman, who makes the cover - 1 - Latta storms the ring - 2 - Sandman rolls out of the way, and Latta inadvertently drops an elbow on Matsuoko! Big pop! Latta rolls out of the ring, where he is yelled at by Lau, while the Sandman once again covers Matsuoko - 1 - 2 - Hakiro kicks out!] LM: The Syndicate really seem to be out of their rhythm tonight, and it's Latta who's getting the blame. BL: He must have something on his mind... he doesn't seem to be focused on the match at hand. [The Sandman continues to work on Hakiro while the Prince of Darkness wanders round the ringside area to confront Latta. Latta pushes the PoD away, and turns his back on him, and the Dark Prince nails him from behind in retaliation. The referee is distracted by the scuffle on the outside, and pokes his head through the ropes in an effort to break it up. Meanwhile, in the ring, the Sandman and Archangel double-team Hakiro, and the Angel of the Sun is worn down more and more. They whip him into the ropes once more, and this time Hakiro ducks under one clothesline, and hits back with a double clothesline of his own! Both the Knights go down, and Hakiro rolls towards his corner to make the tag.] LM: Nobody there! Latta's too busy brawling with the Prince of Darkness on the outside... Hakiro's rolling out of the ring to give his partner a helping hand... BL: That's a mistake, Larry. The referee seems to be allowing the brawl at ringside to run its course, and he's counting Hakiro out... come on, Brian, get your men back in the ring! [Hakiro and Latta do a number on the Prince of Darkness, and seem to be oblivious to the count of the referee in the ring above them. Lau shouts at Hakiro to get back in the ring, and Matsuoko finally turns to roll back under the ropes, only to find that the referee has counted him out! Ding! Ding! Ding! Hakiro is immediately furious, and begins shouting at Latta and Lau.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners by countout: the Sandman and Archangel! LM: I don't know that it's fair for Hakiro to blame Lau and Latta for what's happened here. BL: Brian was trying to sort these guys out, but Hakiro seemed more interested in beating up the Prince of Darkness than taking care of the other Dark Knights. Latta's just as bad. Perhaps Brian has a little work to do with these two to increase their focus to the same level as Tiger Claw and Casey. [The Knights leap from the ring to the aid of the Prince of Darkness, and Lau, shaking his head in disappointment, pulls his men out. The Syndicate make their way up the aisle, with the crowd jeering their disapproval. The Knights showboat for the crowd a little more and then follow back to the locker rooms.] LM: It's not been a good night for the Syndicate tonight... But the Dark Knights go from strength to strength! BL: And where's Deathbringer? LM: I guess the former champion had a prior engagement for tonight... Okay, it's time to hear from Domination... BL: ...the team who cost the Armed Forces the Tag Team Titles earlier on tonight. LM: That's not necessarily the case, Becky. Anyway, let's hear what they've got to say for themselves. [Larry gets up and leaves the broadcast table. He climbs into the ring and speaks into the microphone:] LM: Ladies and gentlemen, my guests at this time are one of the most impressive -- and eccentric -- tag teams to ever compete in the IIWF. Along with the lovely Mistress, they are Mr. Psycho and Monster... Domination! [Big pop as the lights dim and Domination appear at the head of the aisle. They make their way to the ring, Mr. Psycho hi-fiving the fans, and Monster looking like he wants to bite their hands off. Mistress keeps him in check, and the crowd settles as the trio stand next to Larry in the ring.] LM: Mistress, Mr.Psycho...erm, Monster, thank you for joining me tonight. MI: We're glad to be here. LM: Now, you made a very impressive start last Saturday against Aces of the Deep. MI: Don't be too impressed. No offence to the Aces, but at the end of the day, they aren't a team like RSR or Heavy Metal. Still, it was a nice introduction to the IIWF. LM: The real action for you began later that night. MP: [laughs] Yeah. That was a bit tougher. But more fun. I don't know who those guys were who attacked our friend, but we've got our eyes out for them. If you are in the IIWF for a fight, fight us. MI: But Larry, they've already had a taste of Domination, and I very much doubt they'll want any more. MO: Raaarrrgghhhh. MI: Correct. We still do though. So if you're listening out there you tumbleweeds, if you're prepared to sign a contract and face us in the ring, we're ready for you. MP: We're ready for everyone. Nobody gets past the Psycho/Albino combination. LM: I must raise concerns as to whether you can actually fight on all fronts. Not only are you pursuing glory in the tag ranks, but you're also saying you'll watch your friends' backs. There's only so much you can do. MP: [snarling] Who says? Do you know us? Do you really know us? When we first came here, we said we were the next step in tag-team action. We weren't lying. Nothing short of a bullet through the head is going to stop us keeping our word. LM: Then may I raise another issue? You're good friends with the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, Rising Sun Revolution, as was evidenced tonight when you gave them a hand against the Armed Forces... MO: Raaargghhh. LM: [cowering a bit] Yes? So how are you going to get the gold? MI: They've said they'll give us a shot when we've earned it. They've never lied to us yet, and I know they won't. Once we've earned the shot, we'll fight them for the gold and leave as friends. That's how friendship works. LM: So finally, could you reveal to us what we should be seeing from you in the next couple of weeks? MP: Well, we're going to be kicking IIWF butt. We've got a few people on our shortlist. First of all whoever jumped Enigma. Secondly, we want Pain Inc. LM: Why Pain Inc.? MI: Because they're cheap imitations of us. And we're looking forward to showing them that we're the Superior brand. LM: Mistress, Mr.Psycho, Monster - Domination - Thank you very much. ["Countdown to Extinction" by Megadeth starts up over the PA, and the crowd give Domination a big pop as they make their way up the aisle, hi-fiving their fans as they go. Larry returns to the broadcast table.] BL: I don't think I've ever seen so many retards in the same ring at once. LM: Now now, be nice, Becky. Right, folks, we're just moments away from tonight's main event -- Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven will make the first defence of his IIWF World Heavyweight Championship against the strong arm of the Family, Vinny Cappicola. This is going to be a real power battle, folks. BL: The Butcher's going to carve that Cappucino guy up and use him as fish bait. I just hope he doesn't catch the Aces of the Deep. LM: Let's get up to the ring to see the new champion in action. To be honest, I don't think he deserves that belt. BL: Let me ask you something, Larry... Why not? LM: Because he had help. BL: I see... Okay, the match was no DQ, no countout, and the winner was the one to throw his opponent into the casket and shut it, right? LM: Yes... BL: And didn't Verhoeven do that? LM: Well, yes... But... BL: Right... Now shut up. Let's hear what that other moron, Sparkplug Lee, has to say. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Vinny Cappicola ------------------------------------------------ [Sparkplug Lee steps into the spotlight.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is for one fall, and is for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, weighing in at 295lbs, and being accompanied to the ring by Don Antonio, here is Vinny Cappicola! [The theme from Godfather plays, and Vinny and Don appear at the head of the aisle. The crowd pops as they see that Antonio is waving the American flag. Vinny makes his way to the ring, hi-fiving fans as he does.] BL: This idiot's going to get crushed. LM: Vinny is a great athelete, Becky. BL: Yes, and he's been beaten by Verhoeven before. Verhoeven almost killed the big oaf. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 340lbs. He is the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, and is accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi. Here is Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven! [The lights dim, and Verhoeven's music begins to play. Nurse Heidi comes out from the locker room area, and Otto is close behind. A large heel pop comes from the crowd, but Otto just laughs it off. He holds the belt high above his head proudly, shouting insults at whoever his eyes rest on.] LM: He sure isn't in the line of making friends here... BL: That's why he's so effective. He's in there for himself, not these idiot fans... [Verhoeven gets into the ring, still holding his belt. He steps right up to Vinny and spits in his face. Vinny looks shocked, so Verhoeven takes the chance to hit him with the World title belt. The ref calls for the bell, and Verhoeven slides the belt out of the ring towards Heidi. Verhoeven follows up with a few shots to the ribs and head, then a blatant chokehold. The ref counts to 4 before Verhoeven stops, only to start again. Again, Verhoeven allows the count to reach 4 before breaking the choke. Verhoeven laughs at the ref, then executes a powerbomb on Vinny. Heel pop. On the outside, Don complains to the ref about being too lenient.] BL: Uh-oh... Don Antonio is making more wild accusations... Next he'll say the ref is being paid off by Heidi. LM: Well, as it turned out, Don Antonio was right about our President. [Verhoeven kicks Vinny in the stomach, then hits with a DDT. Vinny looks to be out, but Verhoeven refuses to go for the cover. Instead, he stands over Vinny, slapping his face, and yelling insults at the Sicilian. Verhoeven drags Vinny up and places him on the top rope, then follows up. He then executes the Meathook, chokeslamming Vinny to the mat. The crowd gives a heel pop as Verhoeven goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Verhoeven picks Vinny up. Don complains to the ref again. Verhoeven lifts Vinny up and executes the Slaughterslam, dropping Vinny onto his knee. Verhoeven gives Vinny a few shots to the ribs for good measure, then lets him fall to the mat. Otto places his foot on Vinny's face, and the ref counts the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Big heel pop!] LM: I think Otto could have done without those last few shots. BL: I think Verhoeven could have done without pinning Vinny, and beating him some more. [Verhoeven stomps on Vinny's face, and Don Antonio runs into the ring. Verhoeven catches him in a chokehold, and slams him on top of Vinny. Vinny is quite unconscious by this time, and Don drapes himself over him as protection. Verhoeven laughs, and picks Antonio back up. Verhoeven hoists Antonio far above his head with a two handed chokehold. The ref tries to break up the scuffle, but Verhoeven isn't listening to him. Finally, Verhoeven drops Antonio and begins to lay the boots to him. On the outside, Heidi jumps for joy, watching her man. The crowd begins to pop as Quigley runs down to the ring and begins to attack the huge Verhoeven with left and right punches. Heidi sees this, and enters the ring, sneaking up behind Quigley. The crowd pops again as Kauffman runs down to the ring, sneaking up behind Heidi. He taps Heidi on the shoulder, and she turns around. She almost jumps out of her skin when she sees Kauffman, and runs from the ring. Otto follows suit, and the two head up the aisle rather quickly. Quigley yells taunts at the big man, and turns to see Kauffman. Almost immediately, Quigley cops an attitude with Kauffman, asking him what the hell he thinks he's doing there. Kauffman tries to explain the situation with Heidi, but Quigley seems not to listen. Quigley begins to push Kauffman around, and Kauffman just throws up his hands and leaves the ring. Quigley shouts "And don't come back!" after Kauffman, then begins to showboat to the crowd.] BL: What an ingrateful ass. LM: I don't know what's up with Quigley, but I hope it's just a phase. BL: I'll tell you what's going on. Quigley's ego is way too big to have to share the spotlight. LM: I think you might be right. Cappicola looks to be in bad shape in the ring. The paramedics are on their way down here to help him out. [Quigley leaves the ring to a mixed pop. The crowd begins to settle.] LM: Well, folks, that just about wraps it up for tonight. It's been another great show, and there's more tremendous action coming your way live this Saturday Night, including Tiger Claw defending his Intercontinental Championship against Billy Sexton, Chris Quigley facing Simon Lebec, and "Badboy" Randy Acorn making the first defence of his Cruiserweight title against the White Phoenix. BL: Plus I'll have an exclusive chat with the IIWF's new Vice-President in my lair. LM: Reason enough for tuning in right there. Okay, folks, we're out of here. Thanks for joining us! For the gorgeous Becky LaRue, this is Larry Morton, saying goodnight, one and all! BL: You mean, "nighty-night", you fool. LM: How many times do I have to tell you? Ow! [The commentary fades out as the shot mixes to an aerial shot of the ring, with Vinny Cappicola being tended to by a team of paramedics with a stretcher. Don Antonio has been revived, and is watching over his right hand man. Pan up to the huge IIWF banners. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+