[Fade up on a split screen: in monochrome slow motion, on the left, "Showstopper" Simon Lebec can be seen, applying the Antagonist on a helpless opponent; on the right, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley locking the Quickstriker on an opponent. Forboding pulsing music beats in the background as a voice over speaks:] VO: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec... the Californian bit-part actor with the buzzcut. Lebec may have nemesis Chris Quigley to thank for his new hairstyle, but he doesn't sound particularly grateful: [A cutaway shot shows Lebec giving an interview with Tim Dross:] SL: I don't get mad, I get even. For this reason, I feel it's my moral obligation to the people to seek action. To think I tried out of the goodness of my heart to help out his race of illiterate savages, and this is the thanks I get! [Another cutaway shot shows the Newfoundland Premier, Brian Tobin, standing on an iceberg. He speaks, but his comments are dubbed over by the voice over:] VO: Lebec sought the help of Premier Brian Tobin, and had Quigley's citizenship of Newfoundland revoked. Quigley snapped... but Lebec was ready for him. [Further shots show footage of Lebec and Quigley brawling in the locker room, Lebec smashing Quigley's head into a mirror, and throwing a row of lockers on him.] VO: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley... battered and beaten, his sense of national pride in tatters. But he vows to fight on: [Cutaway shots of Quigley standing in LaRue's Lair. He speaks:] CQ: Simon Lebec has NO idea what he's getting into when he's messing with me! You revoked my citizenship, huh? Well, I'm gonna go one better, you asshole, and I'm gonna revoke your CAREER! [Big pop!] [The cutaway shots slide off the screen, and the split screen fades into colour.] VO: Tonight, weeks of resentment and anger come to a head. Tonight, Chris Quigley and Simon Lebec mix it up in the ring. Tonight, _LIVE_ on... [The opening graphics smash through the split screen, and the music picks up tempo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- + LiVE! + IIWF Coliseum + 26 October 1996 + [Cut to interior shots of the IIWF Coliseum, accompanied by the thumping beat of the title music. Lights swirl around the arena, and the camera work zooms past row upon row of excited IIWF fans. Finally, the shot comes to rest on the announcers' table at ringside, at which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum for another IIWF Saturday Night! We are coming at you _live_, and this crowd is already fired up for the incredible action coming your way over the next two hours! I'm Tim Dross, and next to me, as always, is my erstwhile broadcast colleague, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: Or am I "Badboy" Randy Acorn in disguise? TD: You'd better not be. Acorn half-killed Larry Morton this past Wednesday when he invaded the broadcast table disguised as a clown. SR: That was great, Dross. But tonight, Acorn won't be in the mood for playing games, since he'll be making the first defence of the Cruiserweight Championship he won right here last week... TD: [interrupting] ...with a little help, I might add... SR: Don't interrupt me, Dross! He'll be defending his title against the human fireblanket, the White Phoney. TD: That's Phoenix, Steve, and that is certainly going to be a fantastic match right here later on tonight. Another title will be on the line tonight, as Tiger Claw defends his IIWF Intercontinental Championship against "Painbringer" Billy Sexton. Sexton's finally got the shot he's been demanding. SR: I think that masterful attack on Willy Pukespeare last week was the deciding factor. Sexton's clearly deserving of a title shot... but whether he can beat Tiger Claw or not is another matter entirely. TD: The fortunes of the Syndicate certainly seem to be waning as of late. Brian Lau is blaming their bad performance this past Wednesday on Joe Latta. I'm not sure that's fair. SR: Latta was clearly on another planet at Mayhem, Dross. There's no doubt that Latta was responsible for the two losses the Syndicate suffered on Wednesday night, and I understand that Brian Lau has a contingency plan for tonight's match. TD: Indeed. The Syndicate weren't happy with the tag match between two of its members, and the Sandman and Archangel of the Dark Knights, and have demanded a six-man tag rematch to take place tonight. So it's going to be Hakiro Matsuoko, Casey James and Joe Latta taking on the Sandman, Archangel and the Prince of Darkness... that's going to be a great match. SR: Plus we're going to see the IIWF's classiest act, Lord Byron, take it to the "Enema" Kamikaze Mitsubishi. TD: That's the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, Steve. And we'll also be seeing the mysterious Ring Warrior II battle Marty Warnett, as well as the first IIWF appearance of Steve "the Fury" Kowalski in just a few moments. SR: I'm really looking forward to seeing Kowalski in action. From what we've seen of this guy so far, he won't take a back seat to anybody. TD: He's certainly an impressive competitor. Finally, we've got that incredible main event pitting "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley against his nemesis, the "Showstopper" Simon Lebec... what a show it's going to be! SR: Not to mention Becky LaRue interviewing the new IIWF Vice-President, Steve Owens, live here tonight. TD: You're right, I was trying not to mention that. But before we get up to the ring, let's quickly recap the action we've already seen before coming on air: - DOMINATION and the HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS fought to a no contest, thanks to the interference of Don McQueen's mysterious men in black, who stormed the ring and attacked both teams. Domination and the Drifters were forced to work together to get the men in black out of the ring, and all three teams battled back to the locker room area. Just who are those guys, Steve? SR: Well, I've got the scoop, Dross. From what I hear, these two guys worship all manner of so-called "evil spirits", and McQueen has been heard referring to them as Kane and Wulf. TD: It's clear that these two men are just here to create as much mayhem as they can, and so far they've been doing a good job. Moving on: - MR. DAMAGE, who has recently launched a tirade against Dan Kauffman, was in action against JUMPIN' JACK here tonight, and the prelim opponent posed no problems at all for the Antipodean athlete with an attitude, who hit his Thunderstruck legdrop from the top rope for the victory. - ONSLAUGHT was in action, and no sooner than he had pinned the MASKED MARAUDER following his powerbomb from the top buckle than Fisto Flash charged down to the ring. SR: He was scheduled to appear straight after Onslaught, Dross. He was just keen to get into the ring and fight that Italian ingrate Dumb Antonio, and he happened to run into Onslaught. TD: What a ridiculous explanation... but he did run into Onslaught, that much is true. Fisto and Onslaught went at it for some time, until a security team separated them and dragged Onslaught back to the locker room. The Don then came out for his match, and it seems that Fisto Flash was not in the mood for exchanging pleasantries with his opponent: - FISTO FLASH decimated DON ANTONIO in quick time with one of the most brutal attacks we've seen for some time. He worked the Don over with all manner of body shots and underhand tactics, before finally putting him away with the Knucklebomb piledriver off the ropes. It's not been a good week for the Family, Steve. SR: But it's been a great week for the rest of us, Dross! First, Cappicola gets carried out of Mayhem on a stretcher after taking the beating of his life against Otto Verhoeven, and now Antonio has to be helped from the ring after battling Fisto Flash. TD: I can only imagine that the Don wasn't fully recovered from the beating _he_ took at the hand of Verhoeven on Wednesday night, and that's why he didn't look anything special against Fisto Flash. SR: That pizza-pushing crybaby has never been anything special, and he will never be anything special. Fisto Flash made sure of that here tonight! [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Okay, let's go backstage and get comments from Steve "the Fury" Kowalski as he prepares to make his IIWF debut: [Cut to Steve "The Fury" Kowalski taping his wrists in the locker room. He is standing in front of the line-up sheet for tonight's show. He angrily tears the sheet off the wall, crumples it in his hand and tosses it into the trash.] SK: "J" stands for jobber. [Bleep] that! I came to IIWF just to get jacked around by the booking committee!?! I have to wrestle some local schmuck on my debut. I'd rather it be a dark match. I won the Electric Tiger Match in the Tokyodome against Mau the Excellent two months ago, now I have to stomp a ham 'n' egger for the suits upstairs! Okay. If IIWF management wants me to do this, then I'll have myself a little fun. I'll just make this punk an example. Maybe after I paint the mat red with this guy, I'll get a match against some real competetion. [Kowalski turns to the door ant starts to make his way to the ring. Just before he get to the crowd, he stops and looks at the camera with a dark smile.] SK: What d'ya say, we draw some BLOOD? [He walks out of the locker room. Cut back to ringside.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Steve "the Fury" Kowalski vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring, pinching the bottom of Lisa, the IIWF ring girl, as he passes her. She turns and slaps him across the face. Big pop!] SR: [laughing] What a moron! [Sparkplug collects himself, rubbing his cheek, before speaking:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, currently in the ring, hailing from Sweet Home, Alabama, and weighing in at 245lbs, here is the Nifty one.... Neeeeed Noooorton! [Moderate pop for Norton, who points out into the crowd, where his bald-headed, goatee-sporting groupie is leaping up and down waving a "Nifty Ned: He's Hardcore!" sign. He gives the thumbs up to the crowd.] RA: And introducing his opponent... coming down the aisle, hailing from Newark, New Jersey, and weighing in at 268lbs, making his first IIWF appearance... Steeeeve "the Fuuuuury" Kowaaalski! [Moderate crowd reaction as Kowalski appears at the head of the aisle to the strains of "Don't Fear The Reaper". He stands with a muscular frame and gleaming green eyes. His rusty-brown hair matches the five o'clock shadow on his face. He is wearing a faded denim jacket with a Harley Davison logo on the back. As he walks the aisle, he badmouths the crowd, which does nothing to improve the fans' opinion of him. He enters the ring and removes his jacket. His ring attire consists of basic forest green trunks that say "SOB" on the rump; his elbow pads and boots, adorned with the word "Fury", are also forest green.] TD: Look at that scowl on Kowalski's face, Steve. SR: This guy is mean through and through. He's the son of Bruno the Sandman, a guy who I came up against during my career... and nearly came up short, too. That guy had a mean streak a mile wide, and from the look of him, Kowalski is his father's equal. TD: Well, let's see if he lives up to his nickname... [The bell rings to signal the start of the match, and Kowalski immediately goes to work on Norton with punches and kicks. He sticks a thumb in Norton's eyes, pummels his midsection with a volley of punches, and then backs him into the corner with a series of European uppercuts. The referee calls for the break, and Kowalski obliges, but not without badmouthing the official. Norton staggers out into the ring, and Kowalski executes a devastating tiger driver on his hapless opponent. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Kowalski pulls Norton's head up off the mat. Big heel pop!] TD: Come on, ref, disqualify Kowalski... that's a disgraceful tactic. SR: Kowalski's just having a little fun in there. And it's always fun to watch Norton getting the snot kicked out of him, to boot. TD: You're disgusting, Steve. [Kowalski drags Norton to his feet, and whips him into the ropes, catching him on his back on the rebound, before sending him flying across the ring in a fallaway slam. Norton lies almost motionless on the mat, his chest heaving. Kowalski takes his time to look around the jeering crowd before dropping to his knees behind the prone form of Norton and slapping him around a bit. The cracking sound of Kowalski's slaps echo around the arena.] TD: Yow... you can almost feel those slaps from here. SR: Must bring back unpleasant memories for Sparkplug... [Finally, Kowalski drags Norton to his feet and puts his head between his legs. He executes a double underhook piledriver, and makes the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The referee tries to raise Kowalski's arm in victory, but he snatches it away. Kowalski spits on Norton, and then unhurriedly leaves the ring, and stands before the broadcast table. His yells are picked up by the announcers' headsets.] SK: That's just a taste! I am here and I AM TO BE FEARED! Lock the doors, pull down the shades and hide under your beds! The FURY is gonna go HEADHUNTIN'! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: Steve "the Fury" Kowalski! [Kowalski raises his arms to the crowd, who give him a big heel pop, and he heads up the aisle.] TD: This crowd don't like Kowalski, and nor do I! SR: Then I must be the only guy with any taste round here, because I think we've just seen a very big star in the making in action. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski is going to be a big player here in the IIWF... I guarantee it. TD: Well, we'll see... Poor Ned Norton has had to be assisted from the ring by the official. SR: I don't think I've seen him walk out of an arena yet, Dross. TD: Another guy who could find it difficult to walk out of the arena in a very short time is Marty Warnett, who's got the unwelcome task of facing the mysterious, dangerous -- and familiar -- Ring Warrior II. SR: Warnett's been leading a charmed life recently, Dross. He was saved from Casey James by a slight misunderstanding with Joe Latta... TD: [spluttering] A slight misunderstanding?! Latta hit Casey with a steel chair! SR: Latta just wasn't thinking. I'm sure Brian Lau's made sure that it won't happen again. In any case, Warnett won't get past the Syndicate again, either. TD: I'm sure Warnett's more worried about getting past the Ring Warrior II right now... Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ring Warrior II vs. Marty Warnett =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee tries to attract Lisa's attention in vain as he climbs into the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit. introducing first, hailing from parts unknown, weighing in at 332lbs, here is the Ring Warrior II! [Big heel pop as the Warrior jogs down to the ring to his generic rock music. He stands at the top of the ringsteps and unleashes a couple of fireballs from his fists before stepping into the ring and removing his entrance gear.] TD: Well, this Ring Warrior is a very big man, Steve! I think Warnett is at a real disadvantage here. SR: Warnett is at a disadvantage as soon as he wakes up in the morning. TD: [sighs] RA: And his opponent: hailing from Cardiff, Wales, weighing in at 245 pounds... here is -- Marty Warnett! ["Cold Gin" starts up as Warnett runs down the aisle, with a big smile on his face, as he looks up at his menacing opponent in the ring without a worry in the world. The fans give him a great face pop.] TD: The fans love Marty Warnett, don't they? SR: Especially all the little boys... TD: What the... Steve! Do NOT start anything! SR: What?! What?! What did I say?! [The bell rings and Warnett takes a run at Ring Warrior and nails him in the chest with a dropkick, which backs Ring Warrior up a step or two. Warnett hits Ring Warrior with a few jabs, and starts to do some footwork to the delight of the fans, although Ring Warrior is clearly not amused... nor is he dazzled by the footwork, as he sends a big right hand right into the jaw of Warnett, knocking him down hard to a heel pop.] TD: Warnett had better take things a little more seriously against this guy. He just wants to hurt people! SR: This is pro wrestling, Dross! Not some choreographed exhibition! TD: You got that right! [Ring Warrior reaches down and lifts Warnett up in the air by his hair, and drops him down so he lands on his feet. Then he promptly drives Warnett back down to the mat with a lariat! Ring Warrior leaps up in the air and crashes down on Warnett with a legdrop. Ring Warrior wraps his hand around Warnett's throat and lifts him right back up in the air like a rag doll and holds him up there... about to go for his chokeslam, before Warnett sends a flailing leg right into the groin of Ring Warrior, causing him to drop Warnett to the mat. Warnett takes advantage of this situation by going to the top rope and flying off with a clothesline, staggering Ring Warrior back! Warnett gets back to his feet and bounds off the ropes and comes at Ring Warrior with a spinwheel kick which knocks Ring Warrior to the mat! Big face pop!] TD: Warnett finally got the big man off his feet! Now he has to keep him there! They are all the same size on the mat, Steve! SR: That's true, but Marty Warnett isn't that great of a mat wrestler... he won't keep him down there for long. [Warnett grabs Ring Warriors legs and starts to go for a figure four leg lock... but changes his mind and runs over and starts to tug on Ring Warrior's mask! Big crowd pop!] SR: What the hell is he doing?! TD: I really don't know... I think he should have gone for the figure four... [Warnett's attempt fails as Ring Warrior sends a right hand into his chin, knocking him flat on his back. Ring Warrior gets back to his feet, and looks a little angry as he drops a knee into the back of Warnett's head, and now lifts him up and bodyslam's him back down. Warnett gets back to his feet, and Ring Warrior whips him to the ropes and powerslams him on the way back! Ring Warrior raises his arms as the crowd sends a chorus of booes his way. Ring Warrior goes for a big splash on Warnett, but he moves out of the way and Ring Warrior gets nothing but mat! Face pop! Warnett goes for the mask again and he really starts tugging, and it finally yanks off, the momentum sending Warnett flying back with the mask in his hand, revealing a terribly hideous, unearthly face! Crowd gasps!] TD: Oh... my... God.... SR: What the [BLEEP]?! It's the Venusian Death Cell! [starts cracking up laughing] YES!! YES!!! TD: Oh no... get outta there, Marty... get outta there! This guy is a lunatic! He almost killed me before The Hangman got rid of him! SR: Ha! The Hangman is nowhere to be found _now_, Dross! Warnett's dead! And maybe you are too! [laughs again] [Venusian Death Cell gets to his feet and looks furious as Warnett appears frozen in his tracks, staring at what now faces him. VDC grabs Warnett and throws him into the corner and starts going medieval on him with a flurry of punches and kicks, leaving Warnett slumped in the corner, with blood trickling from his face! VDC picks him up and lifts him way up over his head and drops him face first on the top turnbuckle, sending Warnett bouncing back into the center of the ring. VDC stalks him down and lifts him up again, and appears to go for a Samoan drop, but Warnett nicely turns it into a crucifix! 1 - 2 - and VDC kicks out! Warnett jumps up and dropkicks VDC back down, as soon as he had gotten back up! Big face pop as Warnett dances around the ring, ignoring the pain he has to be in! Then Lord Byron appears from behind the curtain and walks down the aisle, with his cane in hand. Warnett doesn't see him as he goes to the top rope, as VDC gets back to his feet, and as Warnett jumps off the rope, Byron hooks his foot with the cane, and Warnett goes crashing headfirst to the mat.] TD: Oh no! Get Lord Byron out of there! He's just laughing as Venusian Death Cell goes over and picks him up... SR: It's over, Dross... [VDC grabs the already unconscious Marty Warnett and drives him down with his modified chokeslam, and stands with one foot on his chest as the ref counts - 1 - 2 - 3!] TD: This is dreadful! Marty was starting to make a go of it... SR: Marty was screwed no matter what Lord Byron did! [VDC picks up Marty again, and throws him over the top rope next to Lord Byron, and then leaves the ring himself, walking back down the aisle, as little children cower back and a few cry as they look at the horrendous monster staring back at them. Meanwhile, back at ringside, Byron begins nailing Warnett with his cane to a huge heel pop! Byron continues the assault until IIWF security and a few jobbers come out to break it up. They do, and the security escorts Lord Byron to the back, as Ned Norton and a few other jobbers help Marty Warnett back down the aisle as well.] TD: This is terrible! Venusian Death Cell is back?! The IIWF is currently under siege with monsters looking to end the careers of stars like Marty Warnett, Chris Quigley, Dan Kauffman, Takezo Musashi, and every other fan favorite in the IIWF, it seems! When will it end? SR: When all the sappy "good guys" are finished, that's when it'll end, Dross! TD: [sighs] You may be right... At least somebody still cares about the fans. Let's go to a special announcement from former IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Deathbringer: [SCENE: A small village with lots of green gardens, beautiful shaped trees and blooming flowers. Three kids are sitting on the steps to one of the houses, smoking cigarettes.] Kid1: [taking a deep breath] Yeah, that's the stuff I need... Kid2: [to Kid3] I'm glad you could steal these from your father's desk... Kid3: No problem, man... Hey, who's that guy over there? [The camera turns to the right where a huge, hooded man comes into sight. He walks towards the three kids and stops as one of them steps into his way.] Kid2: Afraid of the sun, huh? Or are ya just so ugly that you don't want to show yer face? [The other two kids are standing by now and together they laugh at the hooded man who makes a motion as if he wants to walk away. One of the kids again steps into his way.] Kid3: Hey, John asked ya something... Come on... Answer him! [With these words he blows some smoke into the hooded man's face. The man looks into the camera, makes a growling noise and removes the hood, revealing Deathbringer. He then turns towards the kids and steps out of the screen from where you can hear punches and screams.] Kid1: Hell, that's the 'Bringer... oouupphh... Kid2: Argghh... no... Kid3: Ouch... [As the screen fades one of the kids flies through the view. Some white letters appear on the screen with a voice over saying:] VO: Beware: Smoking might be dangerous to your health... [The screen fades again and is filled with new letters, reading:] "A message brought to you by the IIWF health care project and Deathbringer." [Cut back to the announcers' table. Roberts has a bewildered look on his face.] SR: What on _earth_ was that about? TD: It might seem strange, but the Deathbringer was the first IIWF superstar to volunteer to participate in our new healthcare scheme. SR: A guy who's supposed to be the grim reaper, trying to stop kids killing themselves? Where's the logic in that?! TD: Well, while you puzzle over that, let's find out just what's going wrong in the Syndicate, as Joe Latta, Casey James and Hakiro Matsuoko take on the Archangel, the Sandman and the Prince of Darkness. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Joe Latta, Casey James & Hakiro Matsuoko vs. The Sandman, Archangel & Prince of Darkness =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee is attempting to apologise to Lisa as the spotlight falls on him. She flashes him a cold look and flounces out of the ring. The crowd choruses an "aaaawww" as Sparkplug, looking desolate, makes his announcement:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following six-man tag team encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming down the aisle [the lights dim and "Concerto of the Desperado" begins to play over the PA], here are the team of the Sandman, the Prince of Darkness, and Archangel... the Dark Knights! [Big pop for the trio of the Dark Knights as they make their way down to the ring.] SR: Still no Deathbringer, you notice, Dross. TD: And I suppose you have some theory about why Deathbringer isn't here, don't you, Steve? SR: Funny that you should mention that, Dross, but yeah, I do. I'll tell you why ol' Yawnbringer isn't out here tonight... he's ashamed to be seen with those three no-hopers! Now hold on there, Dross... Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that Deathbringer is any better than the other Dimwit Knights, but he at least has held an IIWF title. These three turncoats, on the other hand, have about as much class and brains between them as I have in my little finger alone. TD: Ah, so _that's_ where you keep your brains. No wonder... [Roberts flashes Dross an evil look] er... Let's hear from Sparkplug again. RA: And introducing their opponents: coming down the aisle, accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, and representing the Syndicate, here are Hakiro Matsuoko, Casey James, and the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw! TD: Hang on... Tiger Claw? Claw's wrestling later on tonight... it was supposed to be Latta out here now... What's going on?! [Big heel pop as the Syndicate make their way down to the ring. Brian Lau leads Casey, Hakiro and Tiger Claw, around whose waist the IC belt glitters, down to the ring.] SR: Latta's nowhere to be seen... I guess Brian decided to pull him out of this match. Let's find out... [calling over to Lau] Hey, Brian! Brian, come and join us over here... [Lau sits down next to Roberts and puts on the spare headset.] BL: Good evening, gentlemen. TD: Mr. Lau, what's happened to Joe Latta? Have you dumped him? BL: [laughing] Dumped him?! Of course not, you American idiot. If you must know, Joe didn't travel with the rest of the Syndicate to the arena tonight. I sent him off to do some private training and reflection following the events of Wednesday night... He just wasn't himself this week. TD: Do you really think it's a good idea to have Tiger Claw wrestle two matches in the same night? BL: You leave that consideration to me, Dross. Tiger Claw is in the best condition of his life right now, and he could wrestle fifty matches in a night against the kind of substandard so-called competition he's faced with recently. Billy Sexton, just remember that you've only got that title shot later on tonight because the Syndicate allowed it... but the Syndicate _won't_ allow you to take Claw's title, and that's a fact. TD: The two sides are squaring up in the ring... It looks like it's going to be Casey taking on the Prince of Darkness first off here. [The bell rings to signal the start of the match, and the two athletes circle each other in the ring. Casey launches in with a knee, but the Sandman dodges out of the way, and fires back with a shoulderblock. The two men begin slugging it out in the middle of the ring, and Casey soon gets the upper hand. He scoops the Sandman up and slams him to the mat, and begins stomping away on his opponent. The Sandman fights to his feet, but Casey whips him into the Syndicate's corner, holding him there as he tags in Tiger Claw. Together, Casey and Claw whip the Sandman into the ropes, and attempt a double clothesline -- but the Sandman ducks underneath and hits with a double clothesline of his own! Both Casey and Claw try to roll out of the ring, but the Sandman grabs Claw and drags him to his feet, setting about him with a renewed vigour.] TD: The continuity in the Syndicate seems to be lacking something just at the moment, wouldn't you say, Brian? BL: No, I would _not_ say that, Dross. You shut up and leave the speculation to the other morons out there. Tiger Claw will make short work of the Sandman... just wait and see. SR: You tell him, Brian. [Sandman pulls Claw over to the Knights' corner, and as he tags in Archangel, all three Knights take shots at the IC champ. Eventually, the referee clears up the chaos, and just the massive Archangel and the beaten-down Claw remain in the ring. Claw absorbs tremendous punishment from the behemoth, who levels his opponent with high-impact slams, clotheslines and punches, before tagging back out to the Sandman once more.] TD: It's been all Knights so far... If this were scored on points, the Syndicate would be... BL: [interrupting] Well, wrestling _isn't_ scored on points, is it, Dross? It's scored by who gets the three count... TD: Speaking of which... the Sandman covers Claw! One -- two -- th... No! Claw got his shoulder up... Wow, that was close. BL: I don't know why you Westerners get so excited whenever somebody has Claw down on the mat. He can't be pinned, at least, not cleanly. TD: That's something the Syndicate know a lot about... SR: Watch it, Dross. Brian's a black belt too, you know. TD: In what? Origami? [sniggers] BL: Dross, you watch it, or you'll be back in the hospital. Understand? TD: [gulps] Whatever you say. [Sandman continues to work on Claw, applying a sleeper hold. The crowd chant "Sand - man! Sand - man!" and the Knights encourage the fans, but Tiger Claw clearly isn't out, although he struggles to breathe. As his partners shout encouragement, Claw begins to stir, and fights onto one knee. He elbows the Sandman in the midsection, and finally, the Knight releases the hold. Claw fights to his feet and tries to label the Sandman with a spin kick, but the Knight grabs his foot. Claw executes a stunning enzuigiri, sending the Sandman crashing to the mat, but he too seems to be affected by the move. The crowd pops in excitement as both men struggle towards their respective corners... almost simultaneously, Claw tags out to Hakiro Matsuoko, and the Sandman tags out to the Prince of Darkness, and the two fresh athletes storm the ring.] BL: The fire has certainly been rekindled in Hakiro since his victory over that dishonored fool Musashi at Ring Wars II. TD: That wasn't a victory for Matsuoko, and you know it, Mr. Lau. That match should have been declared a draw. BL: How many times do I have to deny these ridiculous allegations that I have been paying off the IIWF President?! For the last time, Dross, I find that idiot Spreadbury to be representative of all of the worst things about you pathetic Westerners: greed, power hunger, ambition, and self-importance. TD: That sounds to me like the character portrait of a man not sitting a million miles away from me right now. BL: What are you implying, Dross? While I'm here, I'll reiterate my words to Shinja Chow... Chow, you're another one who seems determined to taint the good reputation of the Lau name, and of the Syndicate here in the IIWF. Go ahead and try, you pyromaniac, but remember that when you play with fire, you're gonna get burned... and the Syndicate are the ones with the spark. SR: Nicely said, Brian. BL: Thanks, Steve. It's good to know that somebody still appreciates genius in this aw... [Lau is interrupted by a heel pop] TD: [interrupting] Hey! That's Joe Latta! Joe Latta is coming down to ringside. BL: Oh, not now... [Lau gets up and leaves the broadcast booth, meeting Latta in the aisle. Latta seems annoyed, and points at Tiger Claw. Lau attempts to calm him down, but Latta pushes past him, and begins having a heated discussion with Casey and Claw from the floor at ringside.] TD: It looks like Latta really didn't appreciate being left out of this match. SR: Latta should have gotten here on time, Dross... If the guy isn't here to wrestle, how can he complain about Claw's inclusion? [Casey and Claw leap down from the apron, ignoring the action in the ring. Matsuoko is weathering the storm, now facing the Archangel, but he clearly needs to tag out to Casey, his more sizeable partner. He knocks the big man off his feet with his flying spinning leg lariat, and then goes to his corner. He joins in the argument from the ring, yelling for Casey to come and tag in, but James seems not to hear. Lau does his best to act as peacemaker on the outside while Matsuoko stands with his back into the ring. Archangel drags himself up to his corner and tags in the Sandman, who storms across the ring and splashes Matsuoko in the corner. He whips the stunned Angel of the Sun into the ropes, and palms his face as he slams him hard to the canvas with his Nightmare modified chokeslam. Huge pop! He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners: the Dark Knights! TD: He got him! SR: No! That's two lucky wins the Dark Knights have scored over the Syndicate in four days! [Lau's men finally realise what has happened and storm the ring, attacking the Knights and forcing them to cut short their celebrations. The Knights make their way up the aisle, leaving the arguing Syndicate in the ring. "Concerto of the Desperado" fades out as the four men continue their dispute, with Lau trying to act as peacemaker.] TD: It looks like the finger's being pointed at Latta here, folks. In fact, Casey and Claw should have been more concerned with what their partner was doing in the ring than with Latta at ringside. Lau can't be a happy man at this moment... SR: You can say that again... He's finally settled his troops down, but this dissent in the ranks threatens to blow the Syndicate apart. Lau is faced with a serious problem right now. TD: Indeed he is... not least because Tiger Claw must wrestle again later on tonight in an Intercontinental Championship match with the "Painbringer" Billy Sexton. Right now, though, it's time to see Lord Byron in action as he faces the first true test of his skills here in the IIWF... the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Lord Byron vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: We have got quite the match up next for you here, as the newcomer to the IIWF known as Lord Byron meets the high flying Takezo Musashi! SR: He wasn't flying at Ring Wars... he was just FAAALLING! [laughs] TD: That Scaffold Match was tremendous, no doubt about that, but it was a serious fall that Musashi took, and you shouldn't joke about it, Steve. SR: You have no sense of humour, Dross. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the lovely Lady DeWinter, hailing from Lancashire, England, weighing 275 pounds... here is: Loord Byroooon! [The fans greet him with a fair sized heel pop, as he walks down, arm in arm with DeWinter, basically ignoring the masses, as "Intermezzo" from Karelia Suite plays on the PA.] TD: Byron's yet to show us very much of his skills here in the IIWF, but he's not short of titles from other leagues. SR: Yeah, he's very successful in other federations, but you don't see him boring us all with stories from those federations, like a certain greasy, egomaniac from Canada we all love to hate. TD: Has Byron matched the success of Chris Quigley? I don't think so... RA: And his opponent, hailing from Tokyo, Japan, weighing 211 pounds, here is the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [Musashi's entrance music sounds as he walks slowly down the aisle, looking as focused as ever, while the crowd gives him a good face pop.] SR: Boy, I can't stand this guy... TD: Why is that? He's a tremendous athlete... maybe the best true athlete in the whole IIWF today! SR: Let's see how high he can fly after Byron turns his knees to jello. TD: There goes the bell and we are underway! [Both wrestlers meet in the centre of the ring with a collar and elbow tie up. The much bigger Byron backs Musashi into the corner and goes to send a forearm into his chest, but Musashi ducks out of the corner as Byron hits the turnbuckles instead. Byron turns around and gets met with a few hard chops across the chest from Musashi, who then slings Byron into the ropes and meets him halfway with a spinning leg lariat that sends Byron down to the mat hard! Big crowd pop! Byron pops back up as Musashi sends a hard throat thrust at him, and Byron's head snaps back and spit goes flying from his mouth! The "Enigma" backs against the ropes and flips over Byron with a sunset flip! 1 - 2 - and a kickout!] TD: Lord Byron seems baffled by Musashi's speed and agility, Steve! SR: What he needs to do is get him on the mat, then it's all over for the grasshopper! [Both men get back to their feet and Byron sends a kick into Takezo Musashi's midsection, doubling him up. Byron grabs him around the back and goes for a power bomb... but Musashi counters it with a rana, that flips Byron over and he slides right out of the ring! Byron starts shaking the cobwebs out of his head outside the ring, as he doesn't see Musashi back up against the opposite ropes... do a cartwheel... and execute a back flip over the top rope, and come crashing down on top of him! Huge crowd pop!] TD: What a move by Takezo Musashi! A flying space tiger drop!!! SR: A WHAT?! TD: A flying space tiger drop... and a FLAWLESS one at that! [Both men are down outside the ring after that move, as finally Musashi starts to stir, and rolls back inside the ring. Lord Byron staggers to his feet, and rolls back in the ring himself, to be met with a few hard forearms from Musashi. Byron fights back with a few punches of his own to the midsection, and he is able to get back to his feet and connect with a couple of hard right hands to the face of Takezo Musashi. Musashi backs up, and then surprisingly charges right back at Byron, who is ready and takes him down with a hip toss into an armbar. Byron wrenches on the arm, and then reaches down and grabs one of Musashi's leg. Byron gives up on the arm, and hooks on a kneelock submission instead as Lady DeWinter starts to clap for her man. Musashi reaches the ropes as Byron releases the hold after recieving a four count from the referee.] SR: He takes advantage of every single second he has to keep that kneelock on. Smart man. TD: Well... it's bending the rules, you know. SR: Big deal! You're such a boy scout, Dross. [The ref backs Lord Byron up, as Takezo gets to his feet, and Byron sends a kick in to his midsection... but Musashi catches his foot... and Byron spins himself around and NAILS Musashi with an enzuigiri!! Heel pop! Musashi crumples to the mat, and all of a sudden the heel pop is replaced by a big face pop, as Marty Warnett struts his way down the aisle...] SR: What the hell is that long-haired freak doing here? TD: He's got Lady DeWinter's attention... that's for sure! [Lady DeWinter starts to back away from Warnett, who grabs her by the arm and plants a BIG kiss on her! Big face pop! DeWinter pulls away and tries to slap Warnett, but he ducks and lays ANOTHER kiss on her! Bigger face pop! Lord Byron stands in shock and now he jumps out of the ring onto Warnett and they brawl outside the ring and down the aisle, as DeWinter is still in a daze. The referee is laying the count on Byron, and now he signals for the bell, as Warnett and Byron brawl back behind the curtains into the locker room area.] RA: The winner of this match... as a result of a count out... the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [Big face pop for Musashi as he slowly leaves the ring, holding his head, and walks back down the aisle, but out of nowhere those same two men dressed in black that attacked Musashi last Saturday night, appear again, knock him down, and start going ballistic on him with punches and kicks!] TD: Oh no! Who are these two men?! What do they want?! SR: They, like most other people, want Takezo Musashi OUT of the IIWF! [laughs] TD: Wait a minute... here comes the White Phoenix!!! [The White Phoenix runs out to a huge pop, with a chair in his hand, as the two men in black leave the scene of the crime and dissappear into the crowd as Phoenix gets there, and helps Musashi to the back.] TD: Unbelievable! Where is this going to end? Kauffman, Quigley, Warnett, Deathbringer, and now Takezo Musashi have all been on the business end of vicious attacks as of late! Things are NOT looking good... SR: What are you talking about, Dross! Things have never been better! Every time one of these crowd favorites shows their ugly face, they get their butt kicked! I love it! TD: Okay, folks, it's time for the second LaRue's Lair... tonight's guest is the new IIWF Vice-President, Steve Owens. Perhaps we'll find out just what has been going on in the front office... [Becky relaxes in her chaise lounge. She is dressed as Cleopatra, complete with a bevy of musclebound men in loincloths fanning her continually and feeding her grapes. One of the men appears to be "Nifty" Ned Norton. It is not appearant that this is in any way a costume for the upcoming Halloween season.] BL: Greetins' cretins. Today's guest on LaRue's Lounge, er... Lair is a man who is the center of much rumor and innuendo. And if you haven't heard them anywhere else, then they are certain to start here. He is the new IIWF Vice-President: Steve Owens! [A mid-30s executive-type strolls to the set, shading his eyes from the glare of the spotlights. A large splotch of gravy on his IIWF tie is a reminder of the meatloaf and taters special that day in the IIWF Cafeteria. There is a small pop from the truly dedicated. A motherly figure waves a sign proudly reading "That's my Boy!"] BL: It's been said that you are the real brains behind the IIWF, that Prez Daniel is merely a corporate puppet. There is even some rumor that you named the IIWF. But let's get down to the important question: How long before you become the President? SO: Gee, thanks Becky. It's great to be here. Now then, I have no such plan to be President of the IIWF at this time. I believe President Spreadbury has done an admirable job and, despite some recent allegations, always has the best interests of the IIWF in mind. While it is true that the IIWF Executive Committee has asked that I assume a few of President Spreadbury's duties until the results of the hearing are in, that is just a temporary situation. Of course, President Dan's corner office sure is nice... BL: So, what is your price? SO: Thanks, but I prefer money, Becky. BL: I'm not _that_ desperate for new business cards. But that's another issue. So, is it true that you and the despicable Punster are related? SO: Relatively speaking? No. That's something "akin" to a rumor "cousin" South Carolina people think everyone is related. Like flour, it's "inbred," but that's the yeast of my problems. [He stares at Becky's cleavage] That's the... uh... "breast" answer I can come up with. BL: And what about this story of you being left in a back brace after a wild Hot Tub party? I understand that you developed an addiction to pain killers and hallucinogenics shortly there after? And more importantly, what happened to MY invitation? SO: Good lord, how do these rumors get started? I can uncategorically deny that there was a hot tub at that party. And SEVERAL people saw the dancing elephants! BL: Okay, back to business. What is your take on the current state of the IIWF? SO: I don't believe these stories that the IIWF is in trouble. All organizations experience difficult times. It's part of the growth process. The bottom line is that the IIWF is committed to bringing the top talent to this federation because our wrestlers and our fans deserve the best. And while you may be hearing something in the next week about a lawsuit involving a defective Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven souvenir meat cleaver, don't believe it. The IIWF is alive and well. BL: And its belt holders? SO: I think we have a serious problem with all of this interference during matches. Billy Shakespeare was cheated out of his belt last Saturday, Verhoeven had help in beating Deathbringer, and Tiger Claw seems to always have help from The Syndicate. I think the only legitimate champions in the IIWF right now are the Rising Sun Revolution. Once President Spreadbury is cleared of the charges against him, we will begin to work on a plan to eliminate some of the run-ins that mar the great competiton here in the IIWF. BL: With all this greatness around the corner, when do I get my raise? SO: Sorry Becky, your three percent raise went to Larry Morton's "clown therapy." I didn't know he could claim workman's comp for your mental abuse. BL: Mental abuse! Why I ought to... [composes herself] Is there anything you would like to say as a "first word" before all the fans and wrestlers start to hate you? SO: I think the Aces of the Deep said it best: We're gonna make you FLOOD! [whispering to himself] What the hell does that mean, anyway? BL: [Whispering back] I don't know. I wish marketing would put out a glossary to those guys. [To crowd] That's it for me tonight. Wait patiently 'til next week when I interview someone truly interesting, and I promise you'll never see this guy on this segment again. Ciao for now. [Camera cuts to VP Owens as he tries to subtly wave to the motherly figure in the crowd. He eventually makes his way back up the aisle. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: There you have it, folks. Mr. Owens _seems_ like a perfectly reasonable guy. He certainly doesn't strike me as the power-hungry executive that President Dan made allusions to last week in that interview. SR: This dweeb sounds to me like Prez Danny-boy did when he first stepped into the IIWF front office... idealistic, eager, hopeful... it didn't take long for the IIWF President to see the light, and I reckon this guy could be bought too... TD: Steve, please. It's by no means proven that the IIWF President has been bought off by Brian Lau or anybody else. I mean, sure, it _looks_ like it... but anyway, the hearing is still ongoing, and the IIWF's Board of Directors are reportedly expecting to reach their verdict one week from Monday. We'll have to wait and see what happens, folks. Right now, though, we've got to get back up to the ring for the first of tonight's two championship matches, as "Badboy" Randy Acorn defends his Cruiserweight crown against the White Phoenix. We could see the title change hands here tonight, Steve. SR: Oh, please! Acorn is the smartest man in the IIWF today, and the White Phoney... well, let's just say he's exactly the opposite. Be prepared to see Acorn show why he is the Cruiserweight Champion! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. The White Phoenix ------------------------------------------ [Sparkplug Lee wipes his forehead with a green polka-dot handkerchief as he steps into the ring once more.] RA: This match is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IIWF Cruiserweight championship! [crowd pop] Introducing first... from Beijing, China, weighing 220 pounds, "The White Phoenix" Shinja Chow! [A gong sounds... followed by the cry of an eagle, as Phoenix appears from behind the curtain, carrying a torch, as he is greeted with a big face pop! He reaches the ring, extinguishes the torch, and vaults over the top rope, testing the ropes and limbering up.] TD: This man will be the new Cruiserweight champion... I can just feel it! SR: Damn, Dross, the only thing you're feeling are those four chili dogs you had for lunch. As far as this match goes, Chow may as well have mailed his match in. He is not in Acorn's league. TD: That remains to be seen... RA: And his opponent: from Newark, New Jersey, weighing in at 227 pounds... he is your IIWF Cruiserweight champion -- he is "Badboy" Randy Acorn!!!! [The fans erupt in a massive heel pop, as "If I Ruled the World" struggles to be heard over the crowd. But instead of Randy Acorn coming down the aisle, a man in a business suit comes down the aisle, and enters the ring, asking for the microphone...] SR: What's this official suit doing out here?! Suit: Ladies and gentlemen... it is with extreme regret that I announce Randy Acorn will be unable to appear tonight due to contractual diff... [The White Phoenix, who all this time had been pacing around, looking at this man with an untrusting eye, all of a sudden runs up and grabs at the man's face, and to everyone's surprise, rips off some plaster and a wig, revealing Randy Acorn! Phoenix tries to connect with a hard right hand, but Acorn blocks the shot and smacks Phoenix over the head with the microphone!] TD: Randy Acorn was impersonating an IIWF head office official?! How low can he go?! Whoops... that didn't sound right... SR: He may be a bad dude, but right now, Prez Danny-boy is doing a great job. Of course, for the money Lau's paying him, so he should be... TD: Let's not get into that... [The bell sounds and Acorn, who has stripped off the rest of the disguise, begins stomping away at White Phoenix, who was just recovering from the microphone shot. Acorn lifts Phoenix up by his long braid and whips him into the ropes, and goes to meet him with a back body drop, but he ducks far too soon, and Phoenix meets him with a kick to the face, straightening up the "Badboy". White Phoenix unloads a few hard chops on to the chest of Acorn, and then delivers a jumping reverse kick, straight to his chin, sending Acorn flying back on to the mat. Big pop!] TD: What a kick by The White Phoenix! He's come back from his early handicap with a vengeance! SR: Acorn must still have some of that plaster in his eyes... that's all. This will be a short-lived comeback by that pyromaniac. [Phoenix is over and grabs Acorn and lifts him to his feet. Phoenix with a standing dropkick that sends Acorn back into the corner! Phoenix goes to the opposite corner and bounds across the ring, connecting with a handspring elbow to the face of the champion! Acorn wobbles out of the corner and performs a face plant in the center of the ring to a big face pop! Phoenix, quick as a cat, goes to the top ropes and launches himself off with a somersault legdrop onto the back of Acorn's head! Another big face pop follows that move, as Phoenix rolls Acorn over and goes for the pin! 1 - 2 - and Acorn kicks out!] TD: That was close, Steve! Acorn had better do something quickly, or he's going to lose his title in the blink of an eye. SR: I can't argue with that, Dross! C'mon Randy!! [Roberts starts to clap] TD: You're _supposed_ to be impartial, Steve! SR: Oh, I _am_! I'm just a little more impartial to Randy Acorn... TD: What?! SR: Call the action, Dross! [Phoenix goes to the top rope again as Acorn struggles to his feet, only to be sent back down with a beautiful top rope dropkick straight to the kisser! Both men go down, but Phoenix quickly kips up to his feet, which draws another face pop from the crowd. Acorn frantically scampers to his feet, and is downed with a hard superkick from Phoenix! Acorn rolls out of the ring and holds his head on the outside. The fans are on their feet for the White Phoenix!] TD: _Nothing_ is working for Randy Acorn in this match!! SR: Dammit, and EVERYTHING is working for Shinja Chow! I don't like this one bit! [Randy Acorn gets to his feet outside the ring, just in time to see White Phoenix launching himself towards him with a plancha! Acorn side steps it and Phoenix crashes hard into the concrete floor! A look of relief washes over Acorn's face as he runs his hands through his hair, and then bends down to pick up Phoenix. Acorn rolls Phoenix back in the ring, and then climbs up on the apron, slingshotting himself over the ropes, and nailing Phoenix with a legdrop on the other side! Acorn tries for the pin - 1 - 2 - and Phoenix escapes through the back door!] TD: You know, Acorn should have hooked the leg there! He might have ended this one! SR: But he has Phoenix on the ropes, finally! [Acorn picks up Phoenix and drops him down with a nice back suplex, and then follows up with an elbowdrop before going for the cover and getting another two count. The fans start to chant "Shin-ja! Shin-ja!", as Acorn yells at them to, "Shut the hell up!" As Acorn yells at the fans, Phoenix sends a hard right hand into his midsection, doubling him over! Phoenix gets to his feet and backs up against the ropes, then sends Acorn into a backflip with a hard kneelift! Phoenix grabs Acorn and whips him into the corner... and he goes to the opposite corner and signals to the crowd! Phoenix charges at him and executes The Phoenix Strike, which sends Acorn down to the mat, motionless, as the crowd gives the Phoenix a huge pop!] TD: It's over! All Phoenix needs to do is make the cover!! [Phoenix drops down on to Acorn and hooks the leg...] SR: Wait a minute... Hakiro Matsuoko is running down the aisle!! [The referee counts - 1 - 2 - before Hakiro slides into the ring and breaks up the pin to a massive heel pop!! Hakiro starts stomping on the defenceless Phoenix, as Randy Acorn groggily rolls out of the ring, and staggers back up the aisle with his arms raised in victory. Hakiro continues the beating with some hard kicks to the kidneys, before the Jobber Justice Squad run down the aisle and separate the two men. Hakiro knocks away a few jobbers who were restraining him, and throws a couple more shots at Phoenix, then exits the ring and walks back down the aisle, as fans boo him like mad and throw trash in his direction. Meanwhile, the jobbers and IIWF officials help The White Phoenix to his feet, and help him to the back.] RA: The winner of this match, as a result of a disqualification... "THE WHITE PHOENIX" SHINJA CHOW!! [The crowd responds with a big face pop, although it dies down as Sparkplug continues to speak:] However, a title cannot change hands via DQ or countout... thus Randy Acorn REMAINS the IIWF Cruiserweight champion!! [The fans reply with a massive heel pop.] TD: Randy Acorn was _very_ lucky Hakiro Matsuoko stuck his nose in this match tonight, or his title reign would be OVER! SR: He _might_ have kicked out of that Phoenix Strike! It's possible! TD: But not likely.... Nonetheless, Randy Acorn keeps his title, despite dropping this match as a result of a DQ. Up next, we're going to see "Painbringer" Billy Sexton get the title shot he thinks he's deserved since he arrived in the IIWF some months ago. Will Brian Lau's fortunes pick up, or will we see a new Intercontinental Champion here tonight? SR: I'm beginning to believe that anything's possible as far as the Syndicate is concerned, Dross. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. "Painbringer" Billy Sexton ----------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring again, and pulls a small crushed single bloom out of his lapel pocket, offering it to Lisa. She spurns him, and the crowd gives another "aaaawwww" as he visibly deflates. Eventually he speaks:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship. Introducing first, the challenger: coming down the aisle, hailing from Wawa, Ontario, Canada, and weighing in at 245lbs, here is the "Painbringer" Billy Sexton. [Moderate heel pop as Sexton appears at the top of the aisle. He looks out into the crowd and sneers before making his way down to the ring to the strains of "TNT".] RA: And introducing the champion: accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, hailing from Thailand, and weighing in at 220lbs, here is the three-time IIWF Intercontinental Champion... Tiiigggeeeer Claaaaw! [Big heel pop as the chaotic Thai drum music blares out of the PA system, but Tiger Claw doesn't appear at the head of the aisle. The crowd noise dies down as Claw continues to not appear.] TD: Well, what's going on here? Is Claw not going to show up for this match? BL: Perhaps that disagreement among the Syndicate has flared up backstage... TD: Hang on... "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare is coming down to the ring! [Big pop as the former IIWF Cruiserweight Champion appears at the head of the aisle and dashes down to the ring, where he and Sexton immediately start brawling.] SR: What the hell does Pukespeare think he's doing out here, Dross?! TD: Hang on, Steve... I understand there's been a brawl just behind the entrance curtain... We've got a camera back there. [Cut to split screen; on the right, Sexton and Shakespeare continue to brawl in the ring, despite the official attempting to break up their fight; on the left, the handheld camera wobbles backstage, but the forms of Brian Lau and Tiger Claw, picking themselves up off the ground, can be made out. The camera's microphones pick up Lau yelling several expletives in connection with the word "Shakespeare". Claw and Lau push past the various security personnel and officials who have dashed to the scene, and head out into the arena. Cut back to normal shot as Claw and Lau are seen coming down the aisle towards the ring. Big heel pop.] SR: Billy Shakespeare attacked Tiger Claw backstage?! Give me a break! Claw's going to make mincemeat out of him! TD: That would appear to be the case, folks. We apologise for the bad language of Brian Lau a few moments ago, but it seems that Shakespeare, in his ire with Sexton, was willing to jump the Intercontinental Champion in order to get a shot at Sexton in the ring. [A three-way brawl erupts in the ring as Claw joins in. On the outside, Lau yells abuse at the official, while a horde of security personnel, officials, and members of the Jobber Justice Squad pour down the aisle to break up the dispute. Shakespeare continues to be caught in the cross-fire of attacks from both Sexton and Claw, but holds his own, knocking their heads together, and felling both stunned men with hard right hands. Sexton and Claw roll out of the ring, and Shakespeare continues to threaten both as he is surrounded by officials, while Claw and Sexton are escorted away from the ring. The crowd gives Billy a big pop.] TD: I think this match is going to be abandoned, folks. Billy Sexton will have to wait for his title shot against Claw... although I suspect that Tiger Claw's going to want a piece of Shakespeare for himself. SR: I can't believe Pukespeare would jump a man from behind when he's already wrestled one match, and is preparing to defend his championship. And these morons cheer this guy?! TD: Some might say that it's poetic justice, given that Sexton cost Shakespeare the Cruiserweight belt last week, and that tonight, with Claw already worn down, would have been Sexton's best chance of taking the Intercontinental title, but thanks to Shakespeare, Sexton has been cost his best shot. SR: Poetic justice?! What a joke. Shakespeare will get his comeuppance after the events of tonight, you can count on it. Except you can't count, Dross, but still... ["Little Willy" starts up over the PA, and Shakespeare bows to the popping fans before making his way up the aisle.] TD: Well, folks, things have rarely gone according to plan here tonight, but I can assure you that tonight's main event will be an incredible match. The history between Chris Quigley and Simon Lebec is well-documented here in the IIWF. In just a few moments, it's all going to come to a head when these two great athletes clash in the ring! SR: I can't wait, Dross. We're finally going to see Quigley take the beating he's long deserved. After that locker room brawl last week, and his previous concussions, Quigley's going to be in no shape to handle a fired-up Simon Lebec. We're going to see the end of Quigley in the ring tonight! TD: I sincerely hope not, Steve. I got comments from Quigley earlier on tonight as he prepares for this huge match. Let's go to that interview now: [Cut to "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, who is stretching in his locker room. In the background you see his RSPWF World Heavyweight title and his TAEWF North American title belts, laying on the bench near his equipment bag. A knock is heard at the door, and Quigley stops in mid-stretch and opens the door, to reveal Tim Dross, with microphone in hand.] TD: Chris? I was hoping I could get a word with you before you step in the ring with Simon Lebec here tonight. CQ: C'mon in, Dross. TD: Thanks. First of all, you've been in the thick of things as of late in the IIWF. Simon Lebec... Dan Kauffman... Otto Verhoeven... I guess what I'm trying to say is, where is this going to end for you? CQ: You see that? [points to the RSPWF World title] I worked my ass off to get that title, it was one of the toughest things I have ever accomplished in my life, but once I got it... the feeling was incredible! I want the same thing in the IIWF! I've been through the bad, and I've been through the good here since I appeared here late in the summer. First Otto Verhoeven decided to start something with me... and right now he is one up on me, and that is eating away at me! Then Dan Kauffman and I have gotten into it as of late, and my thoughts on Kauffman remain the same. The guy can't stand being the #2 man all of a sudden... but that's another story. Simon Lebec is the task at hand tonight! All I can say is, I've waited a DAMN long time... it seems like a YEAR to get Simon Lebec in the ring! From day one, when he hired the actors, and got the cheap sets and styrofoam igloos... he's been trying to piss me off, and hell, he's succeeded! First off, Newfoundland is NOTHING like he describes... it's one of the greatest places in the world! And tonight, Simon Lebec is going to pay... he's going to pay for THIS! [Quigley moves his hair off his forehead with his hand, to reveal numerous gashes along his forehead from that mirror] Lebec... these will heal in time... but YOU WON'T! You are gonna be in for a shell shock tonight, as I'm gonna get medieval on your ass! I can promise you this... you will NEVER, EVER forget my name when I'm done with you! EVER! And then... let me just say that Simon Lebec has made me realize that I have not been home for quite some time... I've got some thinking to do, Dross... TD: Uh... well... thanks for your time, Chris. CQ: ...yeah... TD: Well uh... "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley folks! He meets the "Showstopper" tonight!! [Cut back to ringside.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. "Showstopper" Simon Lebec =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee drags his heels as he steps into the ring. The crowd applaud him, but he simply smiles weakly before raising his microphone to speak:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is tonight's main event, and it is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, coming down the aisle, accompanied by Francois and Miss Crystal, hailing from Hollywood, California, and weighing in at 239lbs, here is the "Showstopper"... Siiiimoooon Lebeeeeeec! [Big heel pop for Lebec as he appears at the top of the aisle, flanked by his valet and his manservant, whose hair is only just beginning to grow back. He has an arrogant, confident smirk on his face as he walks to the ring, his sparkly costume glimmering almost as much as Miss Crystal's spangly, slinky evening dress. He climbs the ring steps, and enters the ring with Crystal, who disrobes him, removing his hat, then his sparkly jacket, and finally his sunglasses, before running her hands through his long, blonde hair, and planting a kiss on his lips.] SR: What a woman! TD: What an arrogant man. Lebec is oozing confidence here tonight, folks, but you can bet that Quigley won't take any of Lebec's antics lying down. RA: And introducing his opponent... [The crowd explodes as "For Those About To Rock" blasts out over the PA, and Sparkplug has to raise his voice to be heard] Hailing from Corner Brook, Newfoundland, Canada, weighing in at 238lbs, here is... "Quickstrike" Chriiiiis Quiiigleeeey! [Huge pop as the spotlights swivel to the aisle and cast the Quickstrike logo in haphazard fashion on the walkway: ______ / _ _ \ / / \/ \ \ | \_/\_/ | \ /\ / |______| |||||||| ________ |______| ________ /_____ /______ ______\ _____\ /______ /__\ ______\ ____/ ____ \_____ /_______\ /_______/ Huge pop as Quigley appears at the head of the aisle. He seems to ignore the fans, most of whom are on their feet. Rockets shoot up from above the entrance curtain to the rafters of the Coliseum, where they seem to spark off a chain reaction, and soon explosion after explosion shake the fans in the arena. Quigley makes his way down to the ring and climbs the ring steps. Lebec bails out of the ring as Quigley removes his jacket and shades, handing them to a ringside attendant.] TD: Why isn't he giving his shades to a young fan like he usually does? SR: Well, you saw what kind of an ingrate Quigley can be on Wednesday night when he kicked his fellow egotist Dan Kauffman back to the locker room. TD: I guess so... Quigley certainly seems to have forgotten about the fans for the time being, but I think it's more to do with his focus on getting even with Lebec and his rivalry with Kauffman than anything else... hey, what's this? [The music and fireworks stop, and the video wall at the head of the aisle flickers into life. Quigley turns to watch. The screen shows Lebec and his entourage in a school, as young girls are being hustled along.] SL: I told you already, Francois!! Throw the ugly ones in Deer Lake!! HA!! Wh....why, hello, people of the IIWF!! You may be wondering why this is showing, aren't you Quigley? Well, as acting mayor of your hometown, I have officially decided to close down the public school system. These children are deprived enough. Since I'm such a great guy, I have decided to take a select few with me. BRIAN TOBIN: He's so good to us. Mr. Lebec has once again proven his generosity, by giving these girls jobs. GIRL1: I can't wait to leave this iceberg!! Tell us about your private school, Simon. What did you call it... an "Escort Service" school??? SL: Yes, my dear. You'll get all the education you need from that school, let me tell you!!! It's called "escort" because I'm escorting you away from this dreadful place. See? [they nod] GIRL2: And what about the bar that I'll be waitressing in? SL: Oh, my buxom little Newfie cutie, my L.A. bar is the hottest one in town!! So hot, you'll probably have to shed that heavy winter parka, among other things. Don't worry though, I'm buying an air conditioner. [Another girl walks up to him] GIRL3: What about me? My parents' igloo melted and I'm homeless. SL: What's your name, my love? GIRL3: Nanuktuit Quigley. Perhaps you've heard of my brother Chris. He's a big star, but he never has the time for me these days. SL: Well, would you look at that? Some guys have all the luck. Yes, my love, I think I could find a job in our Corner Vending department for you, since your brother is a good friend of mine and all. [Lebec laughs as he begins massaging Nanuktuit Quigley.] You see Quigley, whether you like it or don't like it, I'll always be better than you. Oh, by the way, turn around!!! [As Quigley turns around, he is caught unawares by Lebec, who has rolled under the bottom rope to attack his nemesis. Lebec nails Quigley with a blackball, and Quigley goes down hard. Huge heel pop as Lebec showboats to the crowd.] TD: Give me a break! What a disgusting display from Lebec! SL: [wiping tears away from his eyes, laughing] Haha! Lebec's a genius, Dross! [Lebec stomps away on Quigley, kicking him in the head. Quigley fights to his feet, but is whipped into the ropes by Lebec and backdropped, hitting the mat hard. Lebec continues to work on Quigley, picking him up and executing a piledriver, before going for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Lebec drags Quigley to his feet again, and tries to whip him into the ropes; Quigley reverses and sends Lebec for the ride. Lebec grabs the ropes, and stops dead at the side of the ring, and Quigley hurls himself at Lebec, clotheslining him over the ropes. He overbalances, however, and follows Lebec to the outside. Big pop! Quigley seems to be as stunned as Lebec, and both men take some time before getting to their feet. They begin slugging it out on the outside, Lebec taking the upper hand, ramming Quigley's head into the ring apron, and then whipping him into the steel ring post. Quigley staggers backwards, and is caught in a back suplex by Lebec, slamming him to the arena floor with tremendous impact. Big heel pop!] TD: All these blows to Quigley's head can't be doing him any favours, given the severity of the concussion he suffered just over two weeks ago in the Battle Lines Battle Royal. SL: Lebec's not just going to beat Quigley, Dross, he's going to maim him. This is great! [Lebec rolls into the ring to break the referee's count, and then rolls back out to continue working on Quigley. He drags Quickstrike to his feet and whips him into the steel crowd barriers. Quigley goes down again, and Lebec shoves an official from his chair at the timekeeper's table, grabbing it and folding it up. He brandishes it above his head, but just as he is about to strike Quigley, the referee grabs the chair from the ring and pulls it out of Lebec's hands. Pop! Lebec begins a slanging match with the official, giving Quigley precious moments to recover. By the time Lebec turns to his opponent again, Quigley is up on his knees. Lebec slams Quigley in the head with his boot, and Quigley goes down once more, rolling up the aisle a little way. The official leaps from the ring and forces Lebec to get back into the ring. The referee lays the count on Quigley from the ring, and the crowd begins to work itself up to a frenzy as the seconds tick by. On the count of five, Quigley begins to drag himself back towards the ring.] TD: This looks bad... but Quigley won't give up. SR: Even if he makes it back to the ring, he's in no shape to carry on wrestling, Dross. TD: You might be right... the referee's reached the count of seven, and Quigley hasn't even got himself up onto the apron yet... Eight... Nine... Quigley rolls in under the bottom rope! That was close! And straight away, Lebec goes back to work on his opponent. Quigley's in big trouble here. [Lebec drags Quigley into the centre of the ring and applies a reverse chinlock. Quigley's face contorts in pain as he struggles to breathe. The referee checks on Quigley, who attempts to break the hold in vain for a few moments, but soon he appears to succumb. The referee checks on Quigley, and raises his arm... it drops back to the mat. He raises it a second time... again, it drops back to the mat. The crowd chant "Quig - ley! Quig - ley!" as the referee raises his arm a third time... this time, Quigley holds it in the air, and the crowd give a big pop! Quigley fights his way out of the hold, and struggles to his feet. The two athletes slug it out in the centre of the ring -- Lebec attempts a hard right hand, Quigley blocks and counters with a volley of punches of his own, staggering Lebec. He whips the "Showstopper" into the ropes, and executes a Fisherman's suplex on his opponent. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Lebec is quickly to his feet, and Quigley takes him down to the mat once more with a Russian leg sweep, and then goes to the second turnbuckle. He launches himself with an elbowdrop, and connects! Again, he goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: Lebec's hanging on for dear life here, Steve. He should have put Quigley away earlier when he had the chance. "Quickstrike" seems to have hit his second wind. SR: That guy is always full of wind, Dross. [Quigley drags Lebec to his feet and attempts to whip him into the ropes, but Lebec reverses and sends Quigley for the ride, causing him to slam into the referee as he careers across the ring. The referee tumbles through the ropes to the outside, and Quigley turns to look at the injured official, allowing Lebec to jump him from behind once more. Lebec unwraps some tape from his wrists, and chokes Quigley with it, dragging him into the centre of the ring.] TD: Give me a break! What a despicable display from Lebec! SR: Well, Quigley deliberately knocked out the official, so Lebec's just defending himself. TD: He did not! What match are you watching, anyway?! Hold on... hang on, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven is coming down to the ring! SR: Yes! I love it! [Huge heel pop as the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion lumbers down to the ring and joins with Lebec in beating on Quigley. He grabs Lebec's previously discarded steel chair, and brings it down with tremendous force on Quigley's head. Quigley crumples at the blow, and the chair is heavily dented as Verhoeven throws it from the ring. The crowd are practically on their feet as Quigley is laid out in the ring, apparently unconscious. Verhoeven goes to the outside and attempts to revive the referee, rolling him back into the ring. Lebec makes a nonchalant cover on his opponent as the groggy referee makes a very slow count.] TD: No! Don't let it end this way! One.... Quigley's not moving! Two.... this is dreadful... three! It's over! Lebec's got the victory, but how tainted it is. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner by pinfall: "Showstopper" Simon Lebec! [Verhoeven pulls the referee from the ring and knocks him to the floor before rolling back under the bottom rope and continuing to attack Quigley along with Lebec, who celebrates his win by stomping all over his beaten and unconscious opponent.] TD: Somebody's got to put a stop to this! This is disgusting! SR: Correction, Dross... this is great! Finally, Simon Lebec will start to get the recognition he deserves! TD: Recognition as one of the dirtiest players in the IIWF, maybe... hey! It's Dan Kauffman! SR: Oh, give me a break! [Big pop as Kauffman charges down the aisle to the ring, clotheslining Lebec out over the top rope, and setting about Verhoeven with equal gusto. Kauffman dropkicks Verhoeven through the ropes to the outside, and then tends to his fallen friend and rival. The Jobber Justice Squad, along with more officials, also run down to the ring to drag Lebec and Verhoeven back to the locker room area.] TD: When Quigley needed him, Kauffman pulled through and came to his aid. The relationship between these two superstars has been rocky as of late, but Kauffman has remained true to his friend, regardless of their differences. SR: Please, Dross... I think I'm going to puke. Anyway, if Kauffman's such good friends with Quigley, and he was in the arena, why didn't he come out here earlier? Why did he wait until Verhoeven and Lebec had beaten him unconscious before coming to be the "great hero"? TD: Steve, that's not fair... SR: It isn't? Just think about it, Dross. These two try and keep up the outward pretence of their friendship, but their egos are just too big. These two morons hate each other's guts, and secretly, Kauffman's celebrating that Quigley could be seriously injured here. TD: Steve, please. Quigley does seem to be in trouble here, folks. He's taken an unbelievable beating to his head, and with his recent injuries, it's bound to take its toll. However, we have paramedics on hand who will give him any necessary treatment. Right now, though, we're out of time. Chaos continues to rain in the IIWF, people, and there's no end in sight. What a night it's been here in the Coliseum -- the Syndicate seems to be in tatters, Chris Quigley has been laid out by Simon Lebec and Otto Verhoeven... Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will have an update on all the events this coming Tuesday as they look "Inside the IIWF", but for now, as the medical team tend to Quigley, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut to an aerial shot of the ring. Kauffman looks on, along with the concerned fans, as Quigley is lifted onto a stretcher. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+