[Fade up onto monochrome footage of IIWF President Dan Spreadbury seated in his office. His words are dubbed over by a background music track and a voice over. Cutaway shots slide across the scene.] VO: The IIWF President: for so long the barometer of right and wrong, the arbiter of justice in the IIWF. However, time and time again, his integrity has been called into question. [Footage rolls of Don Antonio winning the Intercontinental Championship, and then being forced to defend it moments later.] Is he on the payroll of Brian Lau? Certainly Don Antonio thinks so. [Footage rolls of the Log Scaffold Match at Ring Wars II, ruled in favour of the Syndicate's Hakiro Matsuoko despite apparently being a draw.] The "Enigma" Takezo Musashi thinks so, too. [Footage rolls of the Syndicate breaking into the steel cage at Ring Wars II and attacking Don Antonio.] All fingers in the IIWF have been pointed at President Dan in recent weeks. Yet the President himself has denied everything: [Cut to President Dan's interview one week after Ring Wars II:] DS: I'll answer whichever questions I choose. I've been up in front of panel after panel, defending my decisions. The last thing I want to do now is defend myself to you... I've been the President of this organisation since its inception, and I've always been fair, I've always tried to balance both sides of every story. And yet people just can't return the courtesy! Don Antonio fabricates some paranoid corruption theory, and suddenly, I'm on Brian Lau's payroll? Suddenly, _I'm_ the bad guy?! [The colour drains out of the image once more. The voice over continues:] VO: The IIWF's Executive Committee exhaustively discussed the IIWF President's part in the events of recent times, and ruled earlier this week the following decision: [The words of the press release from the IIWF front office are overlaid:] "Following interviews with the president and his staff, and after reviewing tapes of selected incidents, it is the determination of the committee that President Spreadbury used his best available judgement in each case and in no way exceeded the powers allotted him as president of the federation. The IIWF Executive Committee would like to express its confidence in President Spreadbury." [The opening graphics shatter the text, and fast-paced rock music kicks in:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- + LiVE! + IIWF Coliseum + 30 October 1996 + [The opening graphics slide off the screen, and the throbbing of the title music is almost drowned by the cheers of the capacity crowd who pack the IIWF Coliseum. Twenty thousand fans fill the arena, many waving signs and official IIWF memorabilia. Fireworks erupt in the rafters. Pan down past the ringside fans, one waving a sign that reads, "Bon Voyage, Simon Lebec -- And Don't Come Back!" The shot rests on Larry Morton and Becky LaRue, who are standing at the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure.] LM: Welcome one and all to another edition of IIWF Midweek Mayhem! We are coming at you live and loud from the jam-packed IIWF Coliseum, and we've got a tremendous show coming up here tonight! I'm Larry Morton, and beside me, as always, is the inimitable Becky LaRue. It's been a turbulent few days in the IIWF, Becky. BL: It certainly has. First we hear that Simon Lebec has decided to quit the IIWF after his victory over Quigley last Saturday night. Then we hear that the IIWF Board of Directors has elected to keep Dictator Spreadbury in that corner office. Will I never get my raise? LM: Well, if you're looking for a way to raise the temperature, we've got some hot and heavy action scheduled for tonight's event! BL: Who writes those links for you, Larry? LM: Er, nobody. I'm just using my broadcast expertise. BL: That figures. LM: Was that a compliment? Anyway, folks, tonight we're finally going to see the debuts of the two mysterious men who have made the life of the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi so thoroughly unpleasant over the past couple of weeks. "Big Bucks" Don McQueen has finally revealed their identities to the IIWF, and Kane and Wulf, the Dark Disciples, will debut tonight against the Rotundos. BL: From what we've seen of the Dark Disciples so far, they're certainly going to be a team to reckon with. In fact, I expect those two Japanese washouts, Rising Damp Devolution, will do their best to avoid them. LM: Ryudu and Hiroshi don't back down from anybody, Becky, and you know it. Their allies, the slightly eccentric Domination, will be in action tonight against Robo Stone's Heavy Metal, and in the third of tonight's big tag matches, former IIWF World Tag Team Champions the Armed Forces will battle the Zodiac Connection. BL: Those two star-gazing loons will have to bear the brunt of the frustrations of the Armed Forces in the ring tonight. I almost pity them. LM: [surprised] Really? BL: No, of course not! Hehehehehe... snort. LM: Of course not. We'll also see Steve "the Fury" Kowalski face his first real challenge here in the IIWF as he battles the Sandman. Kowalski was very impressive in his debut last Saturday Night, but does he have what it takes to make it past the Sandman? BL: Is the IIWF President crooked? LM: No, of course he isn't! Well, possibly... we don't really know. BL: Larry Morton, that bastion of decisiveness. Kowalski will make very short work of the Sandman tonight, I guarantee it. LM: We'll see about that. The impressive Onslaught will also face a tough test here tonight as he goes up against the dangerous Iron Destroyer, Fisto Flash. What a match _that's_ gonna be. BL: Onslaught's crimson outfit is certainly going to make the censors' job a lot easier tonight. LM: What on earth are you talking about, Becky? BL: Blood doesn't really show on an outfit that colour, which is just as well, since Fisto Flash is going to batter every last drop out of Onslaught here tonight. LM: I sincerely hope not. In tonight's main event, Dan Kauffman goes up against Mr. Damage, who hasn't exactly been complimentary in his attitude towards Kauffman as of late. However, the big question has to be: will Cadaver show up again tonight? He seems to be biding his time before making his next move... BL: What makes Cadaver so dangerous isn't merely his incredible fighting skills -- and what we've seen so far from him doesn't even begin to scratch the surface -- but rather the psychological presence he has. LM: You might be right, Becky. However, the IIWF President is adamant that Cadaver will _not_ be competing in any sanctioned matches here, so his little mind games will have to be the extent of his participation. BL: If any front office suit thinks he can contain the Cadaver, he's got another thing coming. LM: Also on tonight's show, Kenny Tanaka will be conducting a special interview with Joe Latta to find out exactly how serious are the chinks in the Syndicate's armour that have become increasingly apparent over the past couple of weeks. BL: I'll be very interested to hear what Latta has to say for himself. The blame for the downturn in the Syndicate's fortunes recently can only be laid at his door. LM: That's not entirely fair, Becky. Let's give Latta a chance to speak for himself tonight. We'll also be hearing from Robski, who apparently has some very interesting comments to make to the Man of Steel. BL: I may not like Robski, but I'm intrigued to know what he has in store for Steel. LM: I have a feeling that I'm not going to like it. Okay, folks, before we get to tonight's live action, let's quickly recap on the matches we've already seen before coming on air: - MARTY WARNETT made short work of NICK NAME, finishing him off with The End figure four leglock at the climax of a very one-sided encounter. - Another newcomer to the IIWF, "SUPERMAN" MIKE STEWART, made his debut against EL SUPER GECKO. This young lion impressed the fans with his superb power and technical skills. He rocked Gecko with a series of high-impact moves, including a Frankensteiner, a moonsault, and his spectacular finisher, the Super Bomb, a strange kind of powerbomb-cum-piledriver. - The "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI was also in action earlier tonight, battling the lunatic MAGUS. The Oriental superstar was highly impressive, weathering an early storm from his huge opponent and firing back with his astounding Starsault Press for the pinfall victory. - "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON attempted to take his frustrations out on the ARCHANGEL, or LEGION, whatever his name is. However, the match was marred by the interference of a rather irate Billy Shakespeare, who seems intent on following Sexton to the ends of the earth to avenge the loss of his Cruiserweight championship. The result: a DQ win for Sexton, and the Jobber Justice Squad gets its first outing of the night. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] LM: Okay, let's go up to the ring for tonight's first live match. Hold on to your hats, folks! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dark Disciples vs. The Rotundos =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring and raises his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, at a combined weight of 790lbs, here are the Rotundos! [No reaction whatsoever for the two gluttonous grapplers, both of whom wear "Slim Slam" sponsored singlets out of which they hideously bulge.] LM: Well, Slim Slam certainly seems to be doing the Rotundos a world of good now, Becky. They've lost ten pounds between them in the last couple of months. BL: Big deal. Once a blubberous buffoon, always a blubberous buffoon. RA: And introducing their opponents: making their IIWF debut, accompanied to the ring by "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, at a combined weight of 615lbs, here are Kane and Wulf... the Dark Disciples! [Druidic chanting emanates from the PA as the lights in the arena dim and dry ice pours from the head of the aisle. Through the mists step the huge, imposing figures of Kane and Wulf, who are led down to the ring by McQueen. The crowd's heel pop grows as the trio make their way down the aisle, and the terrible demonic tattoos and runes can be seen scorched into the Disciples' skins. They climb the ringsteps and enter the ring, immediately attacking the Rotundos. The referee attempts to force one of the Disciples to leave the ring, but they are relentless in their assault as McQueen directs them from the outside. Wulf whips Rotundo #1 into the ropes and chokeslams him, while Kane DDTs the other. Kane and Wulf whip the two Rotundos into each other in the centre of the ring, forcing them to bounce off uncontrollably. Kane floors Rotundo #1 with a savate kick, and Wulf takes Rotundo #2 off his feet with a big lariat. Rotundo #2 rolls out of the ring, and his partner appears to be out cold. The crowd gives a big heel pop as Kane and Wulf showboat.] LM: Look at McQueen on the outside... he doesn't know what he's unleashed by bringing these two... satanists... to the IIWF. BL: Oh, please, Larry. Just because you carve pentagrams in doors and drink the blood of freshly-slaughtered chickens, you're not automatically a minion of hell. LM: [shivers] Don't say that, Becky. [The Disciples drag Rotundo #1 to his feet, and Wulf whips him to the corner. He climbs to the second buckle, and chokeslams the huge Rotundo into the ring, while Kane climbs to the top rope, and launches himself with a devastating elbow drop. Big heel pop as Kane makes the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The Disciples continue to attack Rotundo #1 until he has been ejected from the ring, and then raise their arms in victory. McQueen joins them in the squared circle, and celebrates the win with them.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, by pinfall: the Dark Disciples! [The referee watches over the stunned Rotundos as McQueen finally directs his men back up the aisle to the locker room area. The crowd jeer them thoroughly as they go.] LM: Those two men have made a tremendous impact in the IIWF since they arrived, attacking the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, apparently at their whim, running down to the ring and taking out other tag teams... these guys are out of control already, Becky. BL: The best is yet to come from the Dark Disciples, Larry, you can count on it. LM: Before we get back up to the ring to see the Sandman take on Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, let's go to some pre-taped comments from the newcomer as he prepares for his first real test here in the IIWF: [Before and After is a greasy little pool hall on the edge of Carlsadt, New Jersey. Steve "The Fury" Kowalski is leaning on a pool table with a pool stick in one hand. Pierced by the stick is an IIWF poster of the Sandman. It is obvious that it has been defaced by attempting to black out his teeth and put "X"'s over his eyes. On the far wall is a dart board with a picture of the other members of the Dark Knights. Numerous darts are stuck into the middle. Kowalski slowly tears off the Sandman poster, rolls it into a ball and shoots it into the corner pocket. Fury faces the camera...] SK: I guess my threats have been answered. I got me an imitation Sandman on Midweek Mayhem. Punk, I am _so_ looking forward to tearing you a new cornshoot! You and your spineless Dick Knights have got to be the biggest waste of a good wrestlin' card. I bet the fans see you on the line up and say "jobber". But when they see me, they are in awe! I can hear them screaming "SKULLPUMP!" over and over. I _am_ gonna Skullpump you through the mat and I _am_ gonna spit on your limp body. The only question is... are _you_ gonna have your Dick Knights carry you away on a stretcher or will you let the fine medical team of the IIWF do it? Doesn't matter to me, I see you as a _dead_ man already. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT! [Kowalski flips the pool table over and breaks the stick over his knee. He lifts up a ball with a picture of himself on it and holds it in front of the camera.] SK: This is the last thing you'll see before you start to drown in your own blood! SAY GOOD NIGHT, GRACIE! [He hurls the ball at the camera. The screen fuzzes to black. Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: This rather worrying trend for the IIWF superstars to damage or destroy our broadcast equipment is getting expensive, Becky. Anyway, let's get back up to the ring to see these two tremendous athletes in action! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Sandman vs. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: It would seem that Steve Kowalski has a problem with the Sandman using the name his father went by. I guess that will be resolved here tonight. BL: I hope Kowalski tears the Sandman apart. The Sandman has become a real knob lately. LM: What, because he's seen the light? BL: That basically does it... Anyone who starts performing for the fans is an idiot. LM: Nice, Becky... Let's go to the ring. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 275 lbs, The Sandman! ["Concerto for the Desperado" begins to play, and the crowd pops, but the Sandman doesn't come out on cue. The crowd begins to murmur, then suddenly, the Sandman stumbles out of the backstage area as if thrown, and hits the floor. He holds his head, and struggles to his feet. Nursing several places, Sandman staggers to the ring.] LM: What's happened here? BL: Perhaps in his turn of character, Sandman has started hanging around with Man Of Steel... He looks kind of stoned to me... LM: Oh, stop that! Hold on, the Sandman's asked for the microphone from Sparkplug... SM: I was just assulted my a member of the Syndicate. I won't say who it was but to my newfound friends... the fans... [he stops to catch his breath]... keep an eye out for Knight moves 'cause I'm going to bite back!! [Pop!] No one jumps me and gets away with it. LM: The Syndicate! Of course! BL: They're always one step ahead of the Dark Knights... That's for sure. LM: I wonder who attacked him. BL: It doesn't matter... Any one of those guys can really damage an idiot like The Sandman. RA: Introducing the Sandman's opponent, weighing in at 268lbs and hailing from Newark, New Jersey, here is Steve "The Fury" Kowalski! [Fury's music begins to play, and a moderate heel pop begins. Kowalski makes his way down the aisle rather quickly, and enters the ring. He strides right up to the recuperating Sandman and clocks him with a huge right hand. Fury immediately goes to work, laying forearm shots on the Sandman. Fury spits in Sandman's face, which gets a big heel pop. Kowalski throws the Sandman into the ropes, and hits with a hard clothesline on the rebound. Sandman goes down hard, and Kowalski lays in with a series of stomps on Sandman's head.] LM: Oh, my! Kowalski is using Sandman's misfortune against him! BL: That's the sign of a smart wrestler... [Kowalski drags Sandman up and drives him to the mat with a Tiger Driver. The crowd gives a loud heel pop as the Fury once again spits on the Sandman. Kowalski once again drags Sandman up, and shoots a knee into Sandman's groin. Sandman doubles over in pain, and the crowd's boos get even louder. Kowalski grabs Sandman in a double underhook, then hoists him up in a piledriver position. He drives Sandman's head into the mat and goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge heel pop!] LM: Kowalski just dominated that match! BL: This guy's really going to cause some waves in the IIWF, that's for sure. [Kowalski throws Sandman out of the ring, then dusts his hands. The crowd boos and throws some trash at him, but he looks proud of his accomplishment. He steps out of the ring, and strides up the aisle proudly.] LM: Well, I'm not that impressed... I mean, The Sandman was already pretty beat up before the match. BL: That's his fault for walking around backstage alone when you're on the Syndicate's bad side. LM: But the Syndicate isn't even scheduled for action tonight! BL: So what? Brian Lau is a business man... He'll make sure that things go well whether his men are scheduled or not. He's got his finger on the pulse of the whole IIWF, and he wants to keep it that way. LM: Well, he certainly dictated how this match went, didn't he? Okay, folks, speaking of Brian Lau and his men, it's time to get to the bottom of all the speculation surrounding the Syndicate, whose fortunes seem to have taken a severe downturn in recent weeks. Many are blaming their difficulties on Joe Latta, and we'll be hearing from him in just a few moments. Oh-oh, here comes Kenny Tanaka. [Kenny Tanaka walks down the aisle to a good sized heel pop. He enters the ring, and motions to Sparkplug Lee for the microphone.] KT: Ladies and gentlemen, lately there's been a lot of speculation about the state of the Syndicate. Yes, there have been some problems between Joe Latta and the rest of the group, and this little segment tonight will hopefully solve those problems. Right now, I'd like to introduce Mr. Joe Latta. [Joe walks down the aisle arm in arm with Carla. There is a mixed pop from the crowd as they enter the ring. Joe poses a bit, then moves towards Carla, who says something to him that isn't picked up by the microphone.] KT: Joe, what's going on? JL: Kenny, I wish I could tell you. I... [The crowd gives a huge heel pop as Casey James makes an appearance. He walks to the ring with a concerned look on his face, and ignores the fans.] KT: Hold on, Joe. Casey is here to say a few words. CJ: Joey... My man... Joe, you know I'm your friend. Together, we trained with two of the best men in the IIWF today, and together, we've seen some good matches. We got to beat the snot out of quite a few losers out there, and Brian treated us well. What's with you lately, man? JL: Casey, I can talk to you. We've been close like brothers these past few months. Lately, Carla thinks my career is at a standstill. She thinks it's Brian's fault. The stuff that people like Marty Warnett and Subway Psycho [big pop] are saying have a ring of truth to them. I mean, when's the last time you pinned someone without the help of Brian? Huh? When's the last time you really got to shine? CJ: Hey, man... Listen. Before I joined the Syndicate, I was losing to everyone out there, and so were you. At least now, people treat us with respect. They know that when you screw with one of us, you're going to be faced by all of us. JL: That's really great, Casey, but I don't think Brian is really looking out for us. Tiger Claw is the man, that's for sure, but do you really think that Brian would pick one of us for a shot at any title if he got the chance? No way. He'd give it to Tiger Claw or even Hakiro. Don't get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for those guys, and I'd still be a loser without them, but I need my time to shine, you know? CJ: Where did all this come from, man? JL: Well, Carla's been worrying about it for a while, and to be honest, it's caused a lot of grief between the two of us lately. That's the reason I've been at odds in the past few matches. I want to apologize to you for I didn't want to listen. I thought that Brian was behind me all the way. But when he asked me to choose between the woman I love and the Syndicate... Well, Casey, I can't do that... I'd rather not have to make that choice. But I've got to say that I'm staying with the woman I love. [Good pop from the crowd.] CJ: Okay, okay. I can understand... Listen... you know something? You're right. You're my friend, and I'm kind of tired of being one fourth of a force here. I think I have more loyalty to you than I have ever had for Brian. I'm coming with you. [Even bigger pop as the two men shake hands and then embrace in the ring.] LM: Hang on... have we just seen the dissolution of the Syndicate?! This is incredible, folks! KT: What is going on?! You two can't do this! I... I'm telling Brian! JL: Yeah, that's right, go tell him! And when you're done telling him about this, why don't you pass something along for me? [Joe slaps Kenny across the face, sending him down to the mat. Kenny rolls out of the ring, shocked. Casey grabs the mic as Kenny runs up the aisle.] CJ: And you tell him that we've got it all worked out... Check it out! [Casey and Joe raise each other's hands as if in victory. Casey seems to overestimate Joe's height, and raises his hand too high. Joe glances over uncomfortably. Casey continues to hoist Joe's arm up, and his smile turns to a sick smirk as he slams Joe's chest with the Blackheart punch. Joe falls to the mat, and Carla begins to scream.] LM: No! It was all a set-up! This is dreadful! [Casey begins laughing, and picks up Joe, exposing the chest again. Casey winds up and slams his fist into the area of Joe's heart again. Joe falls to the mat again, not moving, and Carla runs over and drapes her body over Joe's, crying. Casey bends down to laugh in her face.] CJ: Hey Carla... Hey... What's the matter? Your boyfriend... He's kind of a wimp. He couldn't take it. Look at him. He's nothing. Listen... Why don't you leave while I pound on him a bit more? [Carla remains on Joe, but Casey pulls her up to her feet. He grabs her by the chin and pulls her closer to him, with the microphone between them.] CJ: We all know you really wanted me this whole time, baby. You knew that some day, Joe was going to lose it. You want a real man, don't you? [The heel pop is almost deafening as Casey pulls her face closer to his. Behind the commotion, Joe is struggling to his feet.] CJ: Why don't you give me some, honey? CD: You bastard! BL: You tell him! LM: This is dreadful! [Carla slaps Casey. This seems to send him off the deep end, and he shoves Carla to the mat. Joe gets to his feet and charges at Casey, tackling him to the mat and peppering him with punches.Big pop. Casey blocks as many shots as he can, and throws a hard right into Joe's head. Joe reels back, and Casey gets to his knees. Casey throws himself forward, executing a mini-clothesline, then hits Joe with a few more hard shots. Casey drags Joe up again, and executes the Blackheart punch for a third time. Joe goes limp, but Casey doesn't let him fall.] CJ: [To Carla] Here's your man! [Casey hits Joe again with another heart punch, but still keeps him standing. Casey repeats the shot twice more, and Joe drops to the mat like a sack of rice. Casey bathes in the heel pop from the crowd, then picks Joe up and sets him up on the top rope. Casey follows him up, and slams Joe down in the Black Death. Casey repeats the maneuver, and blood is visible in the area of Joe's mouth. Carla tries to stop Casey's rampage, but gets a forearm shot for her troubles. Carla drops to the floor, and Casey starts to choke Joe out. At this point, the Jobber Justice Squad runs out, along with a number of officials, and tries to separate the two. Casey fights them off, and continues to choke Latta. Finally, the jobbers restrain Casey and drag him into a corner. Carla crawls over to her man, sobbing. The officials take a look at Latta, and one of them turns to the timekeeper's table, yelling for someone to call an emergency crew. Casey is dragged from the ring, and up the aisle. Moments later, a stretcher crew runs to the ring, complete with a paramedic's kit. The crew tend to Joe in the ring, carefully placing him on the stretcher.] LM: What a heinous attack! I can't believe what we've just seen, folks. Joe Latta has been very seriously injured by one of his own stablemates. I don't know what to say. BL: Latta got what he deserved, Larry. He's been getting in the way of the success of the Syndicate, and Brian Lau had him taken out. LM: Taken out on a stretcher... Latta's being seen to by paramedics. We'll try to get an update on his condition before we go off the air tonight. Let's try and put that out of our minds as we get back to the action: Robo Stone's impressive tag team Heavy Metal will be going up against the bizarre Domination. Let's go up to Sparkplug Lee for the introductions. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Heavy Metal vs. Domination -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team attraction is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Robo Stone, hailing from Olympia, Washington, at a combined weight of 660lbs, here are Atlas and Apollo Steele: Heeeaaaavyyy Meeetaaal! [Big heel pop as "Smells Like Teen Spirit" kicks in over the PA and the Steele twins appear at the head of the aisle, backlit by bright red lights. They simultaneously raise their arms to the crowd before making their way down to the ring, Robo Stone following on behind, laughing as always.] BL: That guy's jaw must really ache from all that laughing. LM: Do you think he's addicted to laughing gas? BL: Hey, leave the funnies to me, Clown-boy. RA: And introducing their opponents: accompanied to the ring by Mistress, hailing from parts you don't want to know, at a combined weight of 620lbs, here are Mr. Psycho and Monster: together, they are: Dooooommmiiinnnaaaaaatiooooon! ["Countdown to Extinction" is almost drowned out by the big pop that accompanies Domination as they appear at the head of the aisle and make their way unhurriedly down to the ring, slapping the hands of the fans as they go. As they approach the ring, three fans seem to be particularly enthusiastic, waving a home made "We're The Unofficial Domination Fan Club!" sign. Mr. Psycho beckons Monster and Mistress over to the fans, who are bedecked in the same type of leather straps as their idols. One of them stands to hi-five Monster, but suddenly throws something in Monster's eyes! Big heel pop!] LM: Wait a minute! Those aren't fans! That's Mr. Mic! He just threw salt in Monster's eyes! This is ridiculous! [The other two "fans" leap over the crowd barrier, and quickly gain the upper hand in a two-on-one situation with Mr. Psycho. Morningstar hoists him up for a powerbomb, and Hellraiser assists in spiking the move, driving Mr. Psycho down hard onto the concrete floor. Mistress screams and backs away, only to find Heavy Metal coming back up the aisle from the ring. Morningstar quickly spins and hits the disorientated Monster with a superkick, snapping his head back. Monster hits his head on the steel railings as he goes down, and Heavy Metal join in the attack, Robo Stone shaking hands with Mr. Mic.] LM: This is awful! Mr. Mic and Robo Stone said they had something up their sleeves, and this is it! This was a set-up all along! BL: I guess Domination are even more stupid than they look. LM: That's not fair, Becky -- hang on, here come the Tag Team Champions! BL: Argh! Not Rising Dumb Devolution! [Huge pop as Ryudu and Hiroshi, Rising Sun Revolution, fly down the aisle in their street clothes. They quickly come to the aid of their fallen comrades, Ryudu hitting Morningstar with a phenomenal flying spinning leg lariat, taking him down to the floor, before attacking Apollo Steele with another kick. Hiroshi, meanwhile, bulldozes Hellraiser, taking him off his feet with a shouldercharge, before dropping his elbow on his nemesis. Hiroshi rolls out of the way just as Atlas Steele attempts to stomp on him, and he hits Hellraiser by accident! Huge pop! Monster gets groggily to his feet, swinging wildly, and catches Mr. Mic almost accidentally with a big right hand, sending the manager sprawling. RSR help Domination to their feet and back up the aisle together as a security team descends on the aisle to separate the warring factions.] LM: Gang warfare seems to have become a part of everyday life here in the IIWF, folks, and I can't say I'm happy about it. But thank heavens for Rising Sun Revolution coming to the aid of Domination when they did! They'll have another chance at Pain Inc. this Saturday Night when they defend their tag team championships against them live here in the Coliseum. BL: You can guarantee that Mr. Mic will have his men even more fired up than usual for that match. We're going to see new tag team champions this weekend -- and not a moment too soon. LM: Well, the security team are clearing up the aisle now... hey! [Suddenly, the screen goes black. Static flashes for a time and when the video feed comes back on, it's in black and white, obviously from a hand-held camera. It's in the locker room area inside the arena.] LM: What the hell is going on here? Where's this picture coming from? We apologize for this, folks. We'll try to get everything back to normal as soon as possible. BL: Maybe it's one of those video pirates. [On the bottom corner of the screen, the word "McQueenCam" appears.] LM: Wrong sort of pirate, Becky. [The view from the camera swings around rapidly until the face of Don McQueen fills the screen. He's obviously holding the camera at arm's length facing himself; the image shakes slightly as he is not strong enough to hold it.] DM: I'm sorry I had to interrupt, but I felt it was appropriate that the world see what is about to happen. My men are here to make a statement. [Out of the shadows from each side step dark figures. The camera refocuses itself until the two are clearly visible -- Wulf and Kane.] LM: It's the Dark Disciples! BL: Wow, what an astute observation. DM: We're going to pay a little visit to that little punk Musashi. Lead on, boys. [The camera view swings back around as The Dark Disciples walk down the corridor. McQueen follows them; the view from the camera shakes up and down considerably.) DM: You see, he had the nerve, the gall, to break his association with me. But, without me, he's nothing, just another weakling without a future in the IIWF. So, Wulf and Kane are going to shorten his future on Earth a bit. Oh... wait... I think we're there. [They stop in front of a locker room door.] DM: You can smell the incense that the fool uses to meditate. He's probably getting high off it, too. Kane, please do the honors. [Kane runs at the door and drives his shoulder into it, rushing through. Wulf closely follows, and then McQueen. Musashi is seated cross-legged on the floor, and tries to stand up, but it flattened by a right hand from Kane. Kane and Wulf then go to work on him, bringing him to his knees with kicks and punches.) LM: This is horrible! Someone get back there! Security! BL: I've been waiting for the Enema to get what's coming to him. [Wulf sits on Musashi's back and starts biting at his neck while Kane stands to the side laughing. Suddenly, through the door comes the Jobber Justice Squad. Kane sends two flying with a double clothesline before powerslamming Nick Name into the wall. El Super Gecko kicks Wulf in the head. Wulf, upset at having his meal disturbed, grabs Gecko and chokeslams him through a table before starting to lay kicks into the Enigma. McQueen puts the camera on the ground, and he and Kane hold Musashi down while Wulf climbs up onto a bank of lockers, snarling.) KANE: Now, the world is going to see what's really inside the greatest enigma in the IIWF. [Wulf prepares to pounce off the lockers, when through the door bursts The White Phoenix. He claps his hands together in front of his face and suddenly breathes out a great gout of flame, which hits Wulf in the face. He quickly covers his face with his hands and starts howling, loses his balance, and falls hard to the ground.) DM: My God, he's going to go crazy again! Fire! He's afraid of fire! [Don McQueen runs out, knocking over the camera so it now is laying on its side, but still recording. Kane approaches his partner, who is writhing on the ground howling with pain, while Chow tries to attend to Musashi. Suddenly, Wulf gets to his feet, screaming inhumanly, and rushes at Chow and Musashi. Chow hits him with a double palm strike right into the burns on his face, and Wulf falls back a step, but quickly recovers.] KANE: I hope you two have fun. Wulf gets brutal when he gets mad. I think I'll let him handle you two. [Kane walks out of the room. Wulf charges at Chow and Musashi, taking them both down with a double shoulder charge. He starts choking both of them against the floor, howling and trying to bite them. Musashi manages to get one arm up and gives Wulf a knife hand chop across the throat, which sends him reeling backwards. He charges again, this time at The Phoenix, who sidesteps and pushes Wulf along, sending him head first into the wall. Wulf staggers back, sitting down hard on the broken table.] WP: Come on, we've got to get out of here. We'll finish this later! [The White Phoenix and The Enigma rush out of the room and shut the door behind them, and run off down the corridor. The camera is still on, pointed at the closed door. From inside, there is the sound of crashing metal and Wulf's howls of anger and pain. A sudden crash sounds as if the row of lockers has fallen over.] LM: It's a good thing Chow and Musashi got out of there. That Wulf is a maniac! He should be locked up! BL: He wouldn't be like this if that firebug Chow hadn't burned him. LM: I guess all wolves are afraid of fire, eh? Hey, what's happening now?! [The door bursts open and Wulf runs out. He reaches down, grabs the camera, and throws it into the wall. Static fills the screen before it goes black.] LM: Could we have some technicians here? We need to get this video feed back. [The picture comes back on and refocuses on Larry Morton and Becky LaRue at the announcer's table.] LM: That's better. We just saw a horrible attack on The Enigma by those maniacs, The Dark Disciples. Fortunately, The White Phoenix got there to break it up. BL: That's twice this week that Chow has had to get Musashi's fat out of the flame... if you'll excuse my pun. LM: There is no excuse for that pun, Becky. It's just a good thing that Musashi earned Chow's respect and trust. BL: Well, enough about those two little freaks. LM: Indeed. I do apologise for that unscheduled interrruption in tonight's action, folks. We're ready to get back up to the ring for our next match, as Onslaught takes on his hated nemesis, Fisto Flash. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Onslaught vs. Fisto Flash =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: What do you think about Onslaught, Becky? BL: Well, he's from Mexico, but he can still speak English better than you... He's one of them Loogie-Door wrestlers, which means that he tends to take a few more risks than really necessary. Fisto's going to kill him. LM: Great, Becky... You are the epitome of class. BL: Nice word, there, Larry. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 305 lbs and hailing from Brooklyn, New York, here is "The Iron Destroyer," Fisto Flash! ["Eye of the Tiger" begins to play, and Fisto, with his manager, Robo Stone, make their way up the aisle. There is a large heel pop as Fisto raises his fist in the air, allowing the lights to reflect off the steel.] LM: I still have to wonder about the validity of having a steel hand. BL: What is there to wonder about? The guy is a walking, breathing mace... RA: His opponent, weighing in at 229lbs and hailing from Mexico City, here is Onslaught! [The lights go out, and the crowd pops. The theme from Dune plays, and red smoke begins to cover the arena floor. Suddenly, a red light shines from the head of the aisle, revealing the form of a man in a long cape. The man walks down the aisle, and the crowd seems to get really excited. Onslaught makes it to the ring and jumps onto the apron. He flips over the top rope, and sprays a red mist from his mouth. Fisto charges the Luchador, and executes a clothesline, which Onslaught dodges and executes a crucifix takedown. Fisto is pinned, and the ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Fisto. The lights come on, and the bell rings for the start of the match. The two competitors go to opposite sides of the ring, watching each other carefully. Onslaught takes his cape off, and the ref fits the protective pad onto Flash's steel fist.] LM: We almost saw the end of the match before it started! BL: Yeah... Stupid ref... The match hadn't even started, and he's already counting Fisto down. [Fisto and Onslaught meet in the middle of the ring, and Fisto goes for a lockup, but Onslaught dodges low, and dropkicks Fisto in the back. Fisto stays on his feet, and turns around. Onslaught executes another dropkick which is swatted away by Fisto. Onslaught his the canvas, but kips up almost immediately. Fisto floors him with a vicious clothesline. Big heel pop. Fisto picks the smaller man up and executes a backbreaker. Onslaught bounces off of Fisto's knee and hits the canvas. Fisto turns to the crowd and holds his steel fist high in the air, and the crowd boos loudly. Fisto goes back to work on the fallen Onslaught, throwing him into the ropes, and hitting a big right hand on the rebound.] BL: See? These little guys are no match for big men like Fisto. LM: I have a feeling that we shouldn't count Onslaught out just yet. [Fisto picks Onslaught up, and executes a powerbomb. He goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Onslaught. Fisto yells at the ref about a slow count, then picks Onslaught up again. He sets the Luchador up on the top rope and signals for the Knucklebomb. The crowd boos, but Fisto goes to the top anyway. Fisto puts Onslaught in position, and goes to drive him into the canvas. However, Onslaught grabs onto the ropes, throwing Fisto off balance. The two men fall together, and Onslaught lands sqarely on top of Fisto. Onslaught rolls up the bigger man, and the ref counts... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding ! Huge pop! Onslaught quickly rolls out of the ring and up the aisle, raising his arms to the fans.] BL: What the hell was that? LM: Onslaught pulled a rabbit out of his hat, and got the victory! BL: Oh, come on... That wasn't a real win. That was lucky. [Fisto gets up and yells at Onslaught from the ring, shaking his steel fist at the Mexican. Onslaught heads up the aisle to a good pop, and out to the locker room area. Fisto seems infuriated, as does Robo Stone, who enters the ring.] BL: I bet Robo's not laughing now... LM: That's a change... Robo seems to want the referee to demand that Onslaught comes back out here, but I think that the next battle is going to have to wait for another day. BL: If Onslaught's got any sense, he'd get out of this arena right now! [Fisto and Robo Stone make their way up the aisle angrily, breezing straight past a smartly-dressed Robski who is coming in the other direction. The Iron Destroyer disappears into the locker room area, and Robski climbs the ringsteps.] LM: Oh, no. Sorry about this, folks, but Robski has demanded that he be given the run of the ring for a segment here tonight. Apparently he has some interesting news about the Man Of Steel. Let's hear what he has to say. [Robski stands in the ring wearing a suit. He looks very smart, very professional. He clutches the microphone and speaks, waiting for the crowd's heel pop to die down:] Robski: Well, the IIWF has allowed me centre stage for the moment, oh it is AMAZING what you can do with a bit of money [the crowd jeer, Robski produces a wad of ten pound notes and flicks his way through them, he removes the tag from around them], wealth can buy you whatever you want [Robski tosses the notes in the air, he laughs as the money falls down around him]. More money than sense as some people would say... still, NONE of you peasants touch that money... it's good TRUE English money [he laughs]! [The crowd are now jeering loudly, Robski can hardly be heard. He raises his arms and motions to the crowd, entreating them to be quiet once more. Eventually, the noise dies down.] Robski: Now that's better, due respect to your betters, PLEASE! [laughs] [Robski walks over to the ringpost and rests his elbow on it. He pauses and smiles] Robski: Now some of you may know I had to BUY back Jasmine from the Punster, not a problem to me, she cost less than a new suit, like this one [he takes his jacket off and hangs it over his shoulder]. I feel a bit like Johnny Major at the Tory Party conference. Still, enough of this merry banter, hey, I could go on all night with my scriptwriters [laughs], but I have places to go, people to see, jobbers to beat... Now, I have been having problems with a certain Man Of Steel... [crowd pop] You won't be cheering after I have finished. You all revere him as some sort of hero... Well, I have THREE people to show you tonight, all of whom will testify that Man Of Steel is the lowest form of life possible. Not only is he American, which is bad enough, but he's dirt! Well, I will not condemn him, I'll let the others... First of all, please welcome, from a back street somewhere, and hopefully going back there when she has finished, a woman known only as Dolores. [A woman comes out to a muted reaction, the fathers in the audience seem embarrased at her appearance, the children curious. She is wearing a black low-cut top, a black microskirt, seamed fishnet tights, high heels, has bleached blonde hair, he face is heavily made up, her white cheeks are heavily rouged, and she is chewing gum as she walks out.] LM: Er... I don't know exactly what the meaning of this is, folks. BL: What a cheap sl... LM: [interrupting] Thankyou, Becky. [Dolores climbs into the ring and approaches Robski.] Dolores: [Purring] Hiya, loverboy! Robski: [slightly backing off] As your time is money, Dolores, can you please tell EVERYONE here what you told me about the man you know as the Man Of Steel? Dolores: Yeah, he's one of my best clients! Robski: And you are? Dolores: A working girl, of course, a prostitute. [Big heel pop.] LM: Oh, give me a break! BL: Be quiet, Larry! Robski: And how often does he use you? Dolores: Enough to keep me busy... and the sort of things he likes to do cost you an extra $100 a time. You wouldn't believe some of the things he gets up to with fruit... Robski: There's no need to hammer it home! Dolores: Well, actually, he does... Robski: [feigning shock] PLEASE! I think we have heard enough. I don't want to probe you further [Robski laughs at this lame joke]. Please take the amount we agreed from the ten pound notes on the mat... I love to see you people grovel for money. [Dolores picks the money up from the mat, begins to chew on her gum once more, and walks off. The crowd jeer her as she leaves, counting her money.] Robski: As if that wasn't enough, I have next, a man who will tell you about the recreational habits of the Man of Steel. He will SHOCK you all. [A man walks out. He is small, grubby, dirty, his face has a few open sores on it. He is sniffing on the way to the ring. He wipes his nose on his sleeve, climbs up the steps and into the ring.] BL: Hey, isn't that the Man Of Steel? LM: Oh, ha ha. Very funny, Becky. Robski: Please welcome Mr. Ricky Otto. Otto: Hey, it's cool. Robski: Will you tell us about _your_ association with the Man Of Steel. Otto: Hey, I'm his pusher. Robski: Would you explain? Otto: I supply him with all of the drugs he needs. He is an habitual cocaine and marjuana user, he normally has about five spliffs a week and several wraps of cocaine, and if he has a party on, a blues party, well, man, it's open house. I go along and provide the gear. [The crowd is becoming increasingly restless.] LM: This is outrageous! This is character assassination! BL: This is great! LM: Somebody get Robski out of the ring! Robski: How much does he spend on narcotics in a week? Otto: Oh, up to $4,000, depends on whether he's touring or not. Robski: Well, thank you Mr Otto, I know you are busy at the moment, particularly with the students. Please, take your share of the money, and thank you for the information. [There is a stunned silence from the audience, scarcely able to believe their own ears. Otto departs and walks off, Robski walks around the ring as he continues:] Robski: So there you have it. The so-called Man of Steel is a drug user, he uses prostitutes... is THAT the sort of role model you want? Is that the sort of person YOU want your children to follow? this is the man who hired that thug to attack me when I wrestled Warnett, and you may think that's all... but there is one more, and this WILL shock you, next we have a girl, from middle America... a good, fun-loving girl, a family girl, but she dated the Man Of Steel. She will enlighten you, please come out, Mary Hopkin! [A girl comes out, she is plain, wearing a rather dowdy dress, she walks slowly to the ring. She seems a little overawed. There is little reaction from the crowd, stunned at what they have heard. She gets into the ring and goes up to Robski. He puts an arm around her:] Robski: Just tell us all what you told me earlier. Mary: Well, I used to date the Man Of Stell, I thought he was the man for me, tall, handsome, caring, that was until... [sniff] until... [she starts to sob] Robski: [softly] Please, do go on. Mary: Well, one night, after we got back, we pulled up outside my parents' home, he put his hand on my... on my... on my knee. [sobs again] LM: This is ridiculous! I'm going up there to stop this! BL: You stay right there, Morton, or I'll... LM: Okay, okay. Robski: Did it stop there? Mary: No, he suggested to me that [starts to cry], that... that... Robski: Please, you need to tell everyone this. Mary: He suggested I leave college and become a prostitute. He told me I was sitting on a fortune, and he would help me realise it [she starts to wail, uncontrollably]. He wanted to be my... p -- pimp. [Robski helps her over to the side of the ring, he collects up the remaining ten pound notes and gives them to her. She is still crying, he walks to the centre] Robski: So, as you can see, the Man Of Steel is not all he seems! Children, do _not_ revere this man. He is a drug user and a man of _low_ moral standards. I will do my very best to beat him, not just for me, but for YOU ALL. [With that Robski puts his jacket on and leaves the ring. There is no crowd noise at all, the silence is deafening.] LM: [pauses] Well, folks, I don't know what to say. If the Man Of Steel had been here in the building tonight, you know he would have confronted Robski about those dreadful lies... BL: It seems that the Man Of Steel's past is always going to come back to haunt him, Larry. LM: I don't believe a word of it, Becky. Before we see former tag team champions, the Armed Forces, in action, here's a quick word from the IIWF's healthcare project: [SCENE: A party. One of the guests, obviously drunken, dismisses himself and leaves the house. He enters his car and tries to fasten his seat belt, but he doesn't succeed.] Man: Ah, what for... I'm indestructable. [He starts the engine and drives off. Cut to the man driving on a bending road. He has turned on loud music and sings along with it. In front of him a slower car appears] Man: What the hell, man... Get outta my way! [He starts to overtake the slower car as a truck appears on the opposite lane. The man tries to evade the truck, loses control of the car and crashes against a tree. The screen fades. As it comes up again the man is seen lying in a bed. Everything around him is white. Besides the bed stands a hooded man] Man: Pheeww, Doc, I never thought I'd survive that crash... But why am I still holding the steering wheel in my hands? [The hooded man removes the hood, revealing Deathbringer] DB: You were right, you had no chance of surviving that crash... And _we_ used to call this "steering wheel" a harp... [The man looks into the camera, looking somewhat confused. Fade to a black screen with white letters on it and a voice over saying:] VO: Don't drink and drive... Or you will meet your maker sooner than expected... [The screen fades again and is filled with new letters, reading:] "A message brought to you by the IIWF healthcare project and Deathbringer" [Fade. Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: Yes, well... there you go, folks. BL: Larry, that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Aside from Tim Dross' toupee, of course. LM: The IIWF healthcare project is in its infancy, Becky. Just give it a chance. And speaking of chances... BL: There you go with those awful links again. LM: ...the Armed Forces will be trying their luck against the Zodiac Connection up next. Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Armed Forces vs. Zodiac Connection -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: Well, the Armed Forces have been threatened with regular military duty if they don't start winning matches. BL: That wouldn't be a problem if they weren't getting the short end of the stick all the time. LM: Short end of the stick? BL: That farce at Ring Wars II was a perfect example. Could you imagine having to fight a team that you aren't prepared for? What am I thinking? Of course you wouldn't. LM: Let's get to the ring... RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 575lbs and hailing from the streets of Hollywood, CA, here are The Zodiac Connection! [The lights dim, and diagrams of certain constellations zoom around on the floor, projected by a special spotlight up above. Zodiac Connection come out to the aisle to a good pop, and soak up the positive crowd reaction as they move towards the ring.] BL: You know, I'm starting to believe that the fans will cheer anyone we tell them to cheer. LM: Well, at least we don't have to dub in fake crowd reactions. BL: Who in their right mind would do that? RA: Their opponents, led to the ring by Aaron the Caddy, and weighing in at a combined weight of 643 lbs, former Tag Team Champions, The Armed Forces! [The lights dim, and explosions erupt around the arena, making the area look like a war zone. NavCom and DefCon make their way down the aisle with Aaron the Caddy close behind. The crowd boos, but they don't seem to care. They get to the ring, and the lights go up again. A forklift begins to come down the aisle, carrying a huge crate. Aaron, DefCon, and NavCom look quite confused.] LM: What's this? Could this be a clever plot by Aaron? BL: I don't think so... Aaron looks about as confused as we do. What's that on the crate? It's labelled "Azucar" LM: Hold on... I think that's Spanish. I'll look it up in my Spanish-English dictionary. BL: You carry one of those around with you? LM: Well, yes. BL: Why? LM: Well... You never know when you'll run into someone who can only speak Spanish. BL: Yeah, okay... [NavCom starts off in the ring against Scorpio, and the ref calls for the bell. All parties involved seem a little distracted by the crate at ringside, but the two in the ring put that aside and lock up. They both fight for the upper hand, and NavCom forces Scorpio into the corner. Scorpio powers out, and the pair struggles into another corner, this time with NavCom against the turnbuckles. NavCom powers out, and they reach another corner. Navcom breaks the lockup and throws a shoulder into Scorpio's midsection. NavCom follows up with a European uppercut, then a body slam. NavCom locks on a Boston Crab. On the outside, the driver of the forklift hands Aaron a release and asks him to sign it. Aaron argues with the delivery man, stating that he's not expecting a package, and the guy just rolls his eyes and asks Aaron to "just sign it." Aaron threatens him with a golf club, but signs the release. The delivery man takes the form, gives Aaron a copy, and hops into the forklift again. He drops off the crate and drives away. Aaron looks at the huge crate.] LM: Okay...Abierto... Adios... Agua... Alberca... BL: You are _so_ useless, Larry... LM: Shhhh! [Aaron tries to open the crate, but needs a prying tool. He motions to DefCon to help him. Meanwhile, in the ring, NavCom lets go of the crab, and begins to stomp on the back of Scorpio. He drags Scorpio up, then throws him into the ropes. NavCom also comes off the ropes, and executes an impressive flying clothesline on the rebound. Meanwhile, outside, DefCon and Aaron work on the crate. NavCom comes to the edge of the ring to see what's going on, and Scorpio lays in the middle of the ring. Aaron begins to work the crate with his golf club, and seems to be making progress.] LM: Arrox... Averiado... Azul... No, wait... Here it is... Azucar. It's... BL: Sugar. LM: Yes... Sugar... Sugar? [As if on cue, Aaron gets the side of the crate pried off, and a fairly large amount of sugar pours out of the crate. Aaron looks confused as two forms tumble out of the crate. They shake the sugar off themselves, revealing two men with masks and letters of the alphabet all over their clothing. They look at each other, recoil, then look at Aaron, and attack.] LM: The Alphabet Boys! It's the Alphabet Boys! BL: Oh, give me strength... [The crowd gives a good pop for the ABoys, who attack Aaron and DefCon. NavCom yells from inside the ring, ignoring his opponent. Scorpio seems to have recovered enough to make a tag to his partner, and Taurus enters the ring. Taurus taps NavCom on the shoulder, and NavCom spins around with a shot that is blocked by the big man. Taurus locks on a chokeslam and drives NavCom into the mat. He quickly goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Big Pop! Meanwhile, The ABoys continue to fight with Aaron and DefCon on the outside. DefCon tries to fight them off, but he can't seem to overcome the onslaught. Suddenly, the ABoys seem to tire of the one-sided fight, and begin to knock around each other.] BL: Just when things were getting tolerable, these guys had to come back. LM: The crowd love the Alphabet Boys! BL: The crowd loves TV dinners too, Larry... [The ABoys fight each other up the aisle and disappear into the locker room area. The Armed Forces appear stunned, not sure of what just happened. The Zodiac Connection celebrates in the ring over their victory.] LM: The Alphabet Boys are back! Wow! What a surprise! BL: And they returned in typical ABoys fashion. What a couple of freaks... LM: But they're effective. BL: Hold on a second... Did you ever see them wrestle? Obviously not if you think they were effective... LM: Folks, I've just received word that Joe Latta has suffered some very serious injuries at the hands of Casey James in that attack earlier on tonight. Latta has five broken ribs, a bruised heart, and most severely, a punctured lung. He's been rushed to hospital for surgery. We send our be... hang on, I understand we have a camera backstage with the Syndicate: [A camera man runs through a hallway backstage, and the shot from the camera jostles around as he moves. He turns a corner, and cathces Casey high-fiving Brian Lau, Hakiro, Tiger Claw, and Kenny Tanaka. A mic seems to be attached to the camera, as the comments of Casey James can be heard.] CJ: Bye bye, Joe Latta! That was for the chair shot! BL: Did you make sure he's out? CJ: I'm surprised he's even still breathing. I messed him up. [Tiger Claw pats Casey on the back, and he and Hakiro talk about something.] HM: I said it before: it is our way or no way, it is a shame that you had to learn that the hard way Latta. You should not turn your back on us, your clan. You know how we treat a lack of discipline and a showing of dishonor. Casey, your training is complete. The path of the warrior is now yours too, you truly have a warrior soul. [Casey looks shocked, then his pride shows as the two martial artists congratulate him.] BL: It was you or Joe, Casey... I guess we know who's staying! [The group leaves the scene, but their cheers can be heard for some time. Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: I'm still shocked by the brutality of that attack earlier on tonight. In true Syndicate style, Brian Lau answers his critics with a gratuitous and devious attack on an ally. Latta's career might very well have been ended here tonight, folks. BL: But who's going to mourn his passing from the IIWF, Larry? LM: I think Latta showed us tonight that underneath it all, he's still the naive, dare I say innocent, rookie he was when he first arrived in the IIWF four months ago. He's seen the error of his ways, and if Latta ever returns to the rings of the IIWF, he'll be a man on a mission -- to dismantle the Syndicate piece by piece. BL: I'd like to see him try that with a punctured lung. LM: This attack must have affected the man we're about to see up next. Dan Kauffman was responsible for bringing Joe Latta, a long-time friend of his, into the IIWF, and now he's watched from the locker room as the Syndicate took him out. Kauffman and Latta have had their differences, but the bond of friendship is never truly broken. BL: For heaven's sake, Larry, lose the sentimental rubbish! Let's hear from Mr. Damage as he prepares to put an end to the career of that windbag, Dan Kauffman: [Cut to Mr. Damage driving around in his brand new Holden Statesman, an Australian prestige car. His mobile phone rings; he answers it, says, "Yes Sir, consider it done", hangs up, then turns towards the camera....] MD: You know this hitman business can be pretty profitable, I got a new car, just bought my third home and I haven't even done the job yet. Last week when I announced my services to the IIWF I was inundated with calls. Let's see, I had Sal the Big Cheese from the Family wanting me to rub out both the Don and Vinny Cappicola because of their poor performances last week, but he didn't have enough money. I said "Sal you'll have to racketeer some money out of some poor 80 year old greengrocer, when you got enough we'll talk!" Steve "the Fury" Kowalski rings up before his debut asking me to rub out "Nifty" Ned Norton as he was to scared to face up to him. And then of all people to ring me was Marty Warnett asking me to beat him up enough to put him in hospital so he doesn't have to lose to some jobber on Wednesday night and be all embarrassed. What kind of person asks someone to beat them up and then pay them for it?! Geez, Warnett, go crash a car or something. On Wednesday night I have a job to do. Kauffman "Mr What you see is what you get", well, I tell you something -- I'm not seeing much. Someone who wishes to remain anonymous doesn't like you too much, and, hey, I don't like you too much either. Maybe it's someone that thinks you're a threat to them... jealousy is a popular one -- maybe it's one of your friends or peers. It could be your parents because they might not like a musclehead for a son. It could be the IRS as you haven't paid your taxes yet. Someone who thinks you're a thorn in their side, or maybe it's my personal favourite -- just plain old dirty HATE! And as God is my witness I am not going to disappoint my new employer. Kauffman I hope you've paid your Medical Insurance. [Damage looks out of the window of his limo with a sick smile on his face. Cut back to ringside.] LM: Is Mr. Damage really in the employ of somebody in the IIWF to do a number on Dan Kauffman? Or is he just playing mind games? BL: He'll have a hard time playing mindgames with Kauffman -- whom, as we all know, is mindless. LM: Just at the moment, Becky, you could be right. He's struggling with his inner demons as much as the outer one of Cadaver... let's find out just what kind of shape he's in tonight: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Mr. Damage vs. Dan Kauffman =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring and raises his microphone:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's main event is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, making his way to the ring, hailing from Melbourne, Australia, and weighing in at 245lbs, here is: Miiissteeer Daaamaaaaage! [Big heel pop as Mr. Damage appears at the head of the aisle. He fiddles with a large golden crucifix hanging around his neck as he walks to the ring to the strains of "I Hate People" by the New Bomb Turks.] LM: That's funny. Mr. Damage doesn't strike me as the religious type. BL: That crucifix looks like solid gold, Larry. Whoever it is who's paying Damage off is paying him well. [Mr. Damage badmouths the crowd on his way to the ring before climbing the ring steps and entering the squared circle. He hands his golden crucifix to a ringside attendant, and then limbers up. As Damage waits in the ring, the arena turns pitch black, and the video wall at the head of the aisle crackles into life. The light is dim, but the form of Dan Kauffman can be made out...] BL: Is the IIWF so strapped for cash that they can't even afford to light the place properly anymore?! DK: Mr. Damage, you are the first obstacle that I must leap past. You wanted me in the ring? Well now you have me, and I hope you can handle the Flash. No games tonight... Just you and I... I hope you came prepared... [Dan uses a cutthroat gesture to put emphasis on his last words...] DK: Prepare to be DESTROYED! [The screen goes dark, and the ring is illuminated by a single spotlight. Big pop.] RA: Introducing his opponent, hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland, and weighing in at 230lbs, here is the one... the only... Daaaaaan Kaaauuufffmaaann! ["Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins starts up as the head of the aisle is illuminated by a bright flash, and the form of Dan Kauffman emerges from the entranceway. He stands at the head of the aisle and beckons for somebody to follow him out, and moments later, Ginny Drury, Kauffman's trusted friend, dressed in casual clothing, stands at Dan's side. Together, the two make their way to the ring.] BL: What's that tramp doing out here? LM: Becky, please! There's no need for that kind of abuse. BL: On the contrary! Any woman who can bear to be near Dan Kauffman must be either stupid, or well-paid. LM: That's enough, Becky! These fans are certainly glad to see Kauffman -- what an ovation! This should be a fantastic match. Kauffman's in the ring, and the referee's signalling for the bell -- hey! Damage just jumped Kauffman from behind! [Mr. Damage strikes Kauffman as he leans through the ropes to point Ginny towards a ringside seat, and Kauffman is choked on the bottom rope. Mr. Damage drops his whole weight on Kauffman, forcing his throat onto the ropes once more. Damage runs across the ring, and launches himself into the air, coming down hard on Kauffman's back again. Kauffman rolls into the ring, clutching his neck. Damage showboats to the crowd. Big heel pop. On the outside, Ginny looks concerned.] LM: That was a dastardly attack by Mr. Damage. BL: If Kauffman had left his hired help at home, he wouldn't have been distracted at the beginning of the match, would he, Larry? [Damage stomps away on Kauffman, and drops to his knees, executing a blatant choke hold. The referee counts to four, and Damage releases the hold, but immediately reapplies it. The referee cautions Damage, and the Antipodean athlete begins arguing with the official. Kauffman drags himself to his feet against the ropes. Mr. Damage turns and immediately takes a wild swing at Kauffman, who ducks out of the way. The momentum of the swing spins Damage around, and Kauffman quickly executes an inverted atomic drop. Damage staggers into the centre of the ring, and Kauffman fires out with a clothesline, taking Damage off his feet. Big pop.] LM: Kauffman's gaining control here... hang on... [puts his finger to his earpiece] I understand there's a disturbance in the crowd. Security are on their way up there... Can we get a camera on it? [After a few moments, cut to a split screen: action in the ring continues on the right; a camera is searching the upper reaches of the seating in the Coliseum on the left. In the ring, Kauffman drags Mr. Damage to his feet and whips him into the ropes, hitting a big back bodydrop. Big pop! Meanwhile, three or four security guards can be seen attempting to restrain a figure by one of the exits up in the nosebleed seats. The camera zooms in unsteadily, and it quickly becomes apparent that there is a brawl going on.] LM: Who is that up there? That looks like Cadaver! Not again! Cadaver is determined to destroy Dan Kauffman. This is dreadful! He's tossing those security guards aside as if they were rag dolls! BL: They might as well be, Larry. Let's face it, they're hardly the most intelligent or astute of individuals. They're no match for a deadly force like Cadaver. [In the ring, Kauffman continues to dominate Damage. He lays him out in the ring with a stun gun, and then climbs to the top rope. The crowd pops as he raises his arms before throwing himself into the ring with a moonsault splash. He lands hard on Mr. Damage, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Up in the seats, Cadaver has pushed past the security heavies, and makes his way down the aisle. Any fan that dares to step in front of him is shoved to the floor. Cadaver's blank gaze is locked firmly on the ring. As the fans realise that the intruder has returned once more, they begin to voice their disapproval. Kauffman hears the jeers, and looks out into the crowd. His eyes become wide as he sees Cadaver approaching him, and he appears to be rooted to the spot. Mr. Damage is still laid out behind him.] LM: Look at that! Kauffman's paralysed with fear! BL: When Cadaver and his minions of hell hit the arena, what else can you do? LM: [gulps] Not the m - m - minions of h - hell? BL: Oh, get a grip, Clown-boy. LM: Waah! Get out of there, Kauffman! [As Cadaver approaches the ringside barrier, Kauffman drops to his knees in the ring, and Ginny leaps out of her ringside seat. She dashes to stand in front of Cadaver, a look half of terror and half of defiance on her face.] BL: Wow, that proves it. Kauffman _must_ be paying her big money... she's willing to be a human shield against Cadaver?! LM: Cadaver wouldn't dare strike a woman... would he?! [Cadaver steps over the barrier, and stands towering over Drury. She begins to shake, but stands firm. Cadaver looks down at her, and then, palming her face as he does so, pushes her aside. She tumbles to the floor, more shocked than hurt. Huge heel pop!] LM: I can't believe it! Cadaver struck a woman! This is totally out of hand! Get some help out here now! [Cadaver climbs to the apron, and grabs Kauffman, who has turned a deathly shade of pale, by the neck. The official attempts to break the hold, but he too is shoved to the canvas. The referee waves for the bell as Mr. Damage, who has slowly been recovering, attacks Kauffman from behind, and knocks him to the mat. Ding! Ding! Ding! Cadaver looks down on Kauffman as Mr. Damage pounds him with kicks and punches. The sinister one turns and looks down at Drury, who is sobbing on the arena floor, and climbs down from the apron once more. The crowd are practically going ballistic as Cadaver closes in on Drury, who shuffles backwards to try and evade him. Just as Cadaver is about to drag Drury to her feet once more, the aisle is flooded by the Jobber Justice Squad, a security team, and a number of officials, who surround Cadaver and begin to pull him away. A few officials roll into the ring to try and pull Damage away from Kauffman.] LM: Get him out of here! This is terrible! Something has to be done about all the unwarranted attacks in the IIWF at the moment! Folks, I think this one has been ruled a no contest, and quite right too. Cadaver has no business whatsoever down here at ringside! We're right out of time for tonight's show, but what a show it's been -- Cadaver attacks Kauffman, the Alphabet Boys return, the Dark Disciples brutalise the "Enigma", Pain Inc. pearl harbour Domination, the Sandman is jumped by the Syndicate... incredible! This Saturday Night, three of the IIWF's four championships will be up for grabs, so don't miss a moment of the action coming your way with Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts this weekend. Tim Dross will also be bringing you an update on all the situations we've seen tonight in Friday's IIWF Report, but for now, we're out of here. For Becky LaRue, this is Larry Morton, saying: goodnight, folks! [Officials continue to drag Cadaver up the aisle and control Mr. Damage in the ring. Cut to a wide-angle shot showing all the chaos at ringside. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+