[Open with Tim Dross doing a voice-over of action from "IIWF Midweek Mayhem:"] TD: Friends are not easy to win in the world of professional wrestling... [Roll footage of Casey James and Joe Latta seemingly abandoning The Syndicate. Huge crowd pop as they raise each other's hands as if in victory.] TD: ...but it seems that losing friends is much easier for some. [Roll footage of Casey's smile turning into to a sick smirk as he slams Joe's chest with the Blackheart punch. Jump edit to James pulling Carla close and yelling at her.] CJ: We all know you really wanted me this whole time, baby. You knew that some day, Joe was going to lose it. You want a real man, don't you? [Cut to James holding Latta up as he executes six heart punches, then slams him to the mat in the Black Death.] TD: Joe Latta was forced to choose between The Syndicate and the woman he loves. He chose Carla... and he paid the price. [Cut to James hitting Carla and knocking her away as he continues to beat on Latta. As Casey winds up a final time to hit Latta, the screen goes black.] TD: Joe Latta has paid The Syndicate's price. [Cut to fast-paced music, which is matched by equally fast-paced clips of IIWF action. As the final guitar chord is drawn out, The Sandman puts a sleeper on El Super Gecko and the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - November 1, 1996 ================================================= [A remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience fight to get on camera. Two teens in the top row hold a homemade "Welcume Hom Alfabit Boyz" poster. A man wearing a "Deathbringer...Your Worst Nightmare" t-shirt rolls his eyes up into his head while his wife tries to hide her face from the camera. A boy proudly displays his t-shirt, with Bart Simpson dressed like Gandhi, which reads "Don't Eat a Cow, Man." Zoom to Tim Dross sitting at the anchor desk, adjusting his microphone and ear piece as the lighting rises.] TD: Good evening everyone, and welcome to "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm your host Tim Dross, and what a show we have for you tonight. If you saw "Midweek Mayhem" -- and I'm sure you did -- you know that the face of the IIWF has changed. Joe Latta was the victim of a ruthless attack by Casey James, Cadaver continued to terrorize Dan Kauffman, The Alphabet Boys shocked the wrestling world with their unique return [the teens in the audience scream "YEAH!"], The Dark Disciples brutalized the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, Pain Inc. cheap-shotted Domination, and Robski continued his one-man smear campaign against the Man of Steel. [Switch the camera angle to get a different shot of Dross. He swivels his chair to accommodate the shot.] TD: We have a lot to cover this evening, including a look at an unprecedented flood of new entries into the IIWF and a rather... INTERESTING... videotape given to me yesterday by Marty Warnett. But I'll start with a medical update on Joe Latta. You saw at the top of the program just some of the hard shots Joe took from Casey James. It was clear that James had one intention Wednesday night -- to put Joe Latta out of wrestling. And I'm sorry to say that it appears he was successful. Latta underwent surgery Wednesday night to repair his most significant injury, a punctured lung. The surgery was a success, but it appears that Joe will be away from the ring for quite a long time, if he returns at all. If there is any good to be found in this tragedy, it may be that Dan Kauffman rushed to Latta's side and accompanied him to the hospital. Perhaps friendships have no place in The Syndicate, but at least Dan Kauffman knows the value of the word. We had a camera crew follow the ambulance, so let's go to that exclusive footage now: [The cameras start filming as an ambulance rushes into a local hospital. The emergency medical crew works feverishly to get the patient, Joe Latta, through the emergency room. Shouts of "punctured lung", and "his career's finished" echo through the halls as the crew rushes Latta into the room. Before entering, the crying form of Carla Daughtry runs towards the medical crew.] CD: Please tell me he's going to be all right! ... DOCTOR: We're doing the best we can. He'll survive, he'll recover. CD: Joe, can you hear me? DOCTOR: He's unconscious, he's not going to respond... [Carla continues as if the doctor never said a word...] CD: I love you, Joe... please fight. I know it hurts, I know you feel terrible... I'm here for you, don't worry... [Dr. Roscoe Lee, Sparkplug's successful brother, tells Carla that she must leave and go to the waiting room. Carla protests with tears, but has no success as Joe is taken into the operating room. Cameras are not allowed into the room, but they do follow the emotional Carla as she walks away. As she does, another person runs to her. Soon, the person can be made out as Ginny Drury, who hugs the sobbing Carla. Dan Kauffman limps behind, looking terribly upset both from the attack by Cadaver and from the events that Joe went through. Not much is said for many moments as all three console each other.] CD: God, sometimes I wonder if this is all worth the trauma and the pain... DK: Believe me, I have my doubts right now. Jesus, I never thought I'd hate seeing Joe attacked after our past... But I just can't watch him go through that. CD: Yeah... [sob] what about you? I mean... Cadaver... DK: Shhhhhhh... Don't worry about him... I'll... [Dan thinks about that, before continuing] ... WE will overcome him. In fact, we will overcome ALL of this. [Silence again consumes the group for moments...] CD: When will it all end? DK: [pause] There is no end in this war. Never has been. Never will be. We've just got to fight on. GD: I hope Joe's all right. DK: He'll pull through. He's a tough SOB. I wish I could say I was. GD: Forget about all the things that have happened tonight. Let's figure out what we're going to do. [The camera moves away as Ginny, Carla and Dan discuss their ideas and plans, while in the operating room, surgery has begun on the ailing Joe Latta. Carla buries her face in her hands, Ginny consoles Carla again, and Dan simply nods and tends to his injuries as the shot fades to black. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: What to do, indeed. It seems a dark cloud has been hanging over Dan Kauffman's head of late and he seems to have no idea how to rid himself of it. Children all over the world awoke this morning and were free from the ghosts and goblins that roamed the earth last night... Halloween. But the demons that haunt Dan Kauffman were not gone this morning. If anything, they seem to be screaming even louder as the days go by. But now it's time to take a look back at some of the action from Wednesday night in our: ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF MIDWEEK MAYHEM REWIND ---------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: Larry Morton and Becky LaRue were at ringside for one of the more unique evenings of action we've ever experienced on "Midweek Mayhem." You've already heard about some of the action, now let's take a look at the footage: [Dross does voice-overs as footage from each match rolls.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MARTY WARNETT defeated NICK NAME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: The popular young Warnett had little trouble with Nick Name, and it is apparent that the videotape he delivered to me last night has given Warnett plenty of confidence. I'll have more on that later in the show, fans ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "SUPERMAN" MIKE STEWART defeated EL SUPER GECKO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: It was quite a debut for Mike Stewart, but it was a nasty scene backstage following the match when Stewart apparently had some sort of mental breakdown. He curled up in the fetal position and was chanting "Can't hurt the Lizard" over and over. It appears that El Super Gecko had a little mental kryptonite for the "Superman," who was taken from the arena in a padded van. It looks like we've seen the last of him. But what an interesting week it has been for El Super Gecko: first, he seriously injures the Prince of Darkness and now he puts Mike Stewart out of wrestling. Who will dare challenge the Gecko next? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI defeated MAGUS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: The madman Magus used his power moves early, but the speed and high-flying abilities of Musashi proved to be the difference in the match. However, Musashi narrowly escaped serious injuries later in the evening when "Big Bucks" Don McQueen had his Dark Disciples attack "The Enigma" in his dressing room. Only the intervention of The White Phoenix Shinja Chow prevented things from really getting out of hand.McQueen has vowed to make Musashi's life a living hell, and this situation must be coming to a head. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON defeated LEGION by DQ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Billy Shakespeare is none too pleased with Billy Sexton right now. Sexton cost Shakespeare the Cruiserweight belt, so "Spotlight" is attempting to extract a pound of flesh as payment. His interference on Wednesday cost Archangel, er, Legion, or whatever, a disqualification loss. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE DARK DISCIPLES defeated THE ROTUNDOS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Don McQueen's goons finally had a chance to step into the ring... legally. It was a bad night for The Rotundos, who were the sacrificial lambs for Kane and Wulf. Or should that be "sacrificial veal?" Anyway, the Rotundos were Slim-Slammed right through the mat. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI defeated THE SANDMAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Sandman claimed to have been attacked by a member of The Syndicate backstage before coming to the ring, but Kowalski showed no mercy and dedicated the victory to his father, Bruno the Sandman. In fact, Kowalski kept doing his best Roberto Alomar impression by spitting in the face of the Sandman during the match. Daddy must be so proud. Larry Morton caught up with "The Fury" following the broadcast: [Steve "The Fury" Kowalski is getting dressed after his win over the Sandman. He is wearing just jeans, biker boots and a towel over his shoulder. The door opens and Larry Morton makes his way in. Nervously, he approaches Kowalski.] LM: Steve... I just... uh, wondered if you had a few comments. Since you dominated your second opponent in as many weeks. Everybody here has been buzzing about you since your arrival. SK: Okay, snapperhead. You caught me in a good mood. I'll give ya some time. Shoot. LM: What did you think of the attack on Sandman before the match? SK: Everyone knows he got on _my_ bad side 'cause he used my father's name. Lucky for him he didn't try to copy my grandfather, Killer Abraham. The Dick Knights have made the mistake of makin' enemies with the Syndicate. What do ya expect? That chicken[BLEEP] Prince of Darkness leaves and Sandman gets whooped by me! POD didn't get hurt by El Super Gecko, he just flat out ran. I don't see the Dark Knights lasting much longer. LM: What's next for "The Fury"? A title shot? A new challenge? SK: Dinner. I'm hungry. I'm outta here. LM: But... [Kowalski ignores Morton and leaves. A IIWF page rushes in.] PAGE: You mean he didn't hit you? He didn't even _yell_?! LM: Nope. I guess I caught him in a good mood. Now cough up the twenty bucks. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Twenty bucks? I need to have a long talk with Larry. Anyway, The Sandman has now found enemies coming at him from two sides -- The Syndicate has an old feud with him and Steve Kowalski has a new one. However, The Sandman wants to settle both: [SCENE: The London Tower. The Sandman walks through a dense fog into the castle courtyard as light shines around him in misty rays. Blues and greys set a serious tone.] TS: Beyond the iron bars of Traitors Gate lies the "Bloody" tower. [he points to it] Named after the tortured souls of enemies and most famous the slain nephews of Richard the First. I show you all this because I have returned here... to my roots... to re-kindle a new rage. The reason being is this: twice, TWICE in one night I was had. Never before and never again! Without the presence of the Prince of Darkness, I fell victim to a classic Syndicate trick. [The mist clears a bit to reveal the Sandman's bandaged ribs.] They pulled a good one on me, as you can see... and this led to downfall number two. With the injuries sustained, I stumbled down to the ring to face "The Fury." Well Stevie, at first I was going to humor you and toy with ya. But you had to mess with my fans and you had to piss me off. Now now I'm going to rip your heart out and piss on your dead carcass! Because of the Syndicate you scored a win. Good for you. But you see, my fight is not with you, it's with the Syndicate. In your case, Stevie boy, I want a rematch. No wait, I'm not going to ask for one, I'm going to demand it. I'm going to finish you off and squash the situation. You're mine! And Syndicate... it's not over. I'm coming for your prized possession and with that -- the honor of your clan! [The Sandman moves back and dissolves into the mist.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NO CONTEST: DOMINATON vs. HEAVY METAL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: This match never got underway as Mr. Mic and Pain Inc. were posing as fans and attacked Monster and Mr. Psycho before they even got to the ring. The situation would have been much worse had the Rising Sun Revolution not come to Domination's aid. You can imagine that the members of Domination were unhappy with the outcome: [Domination are throwing some jobbers around the ring in a darkened arena. Well, they appear to be jobbers. They`re actually the ring technicians who had dare try to take the ring down after Midweek Mayhem while Domination were there practicing. The albino, Monster plants some poor bloke through the mat. Suddenly, Mistress speaks.] MI: Hey boys, stop that for a moment. We've got the people we want here. MP: About time. MO: Raarrgghhhh. MI: Three matches here and it`s a case of one won, two no-contest. Well, it would have been no contest if we`d actually been able to finish matches against the HPD and Heavy Metal, but it seems Dark Disciples and Pain Inc. have other things on their minds. MO: Raaarrggghhh. MI: Exactly. What sort of place is this where we can`t even wrestle the matches we`re supposed to wrestle? MP: [with a deranged grin] Our kinda place. MI: Too right. You think you`re scaring us off with your little attempts to jump us? Well, once again, you`re mistaken. If you remember, the first thing we said when we came here is that we know what pain is. We control our pain. MP: And very soon, Pain Inc, we'll control you. Monster didn't appreciate the salt, and I would have liked to have had a chance to beat Heavy Metal up. But right now, they can wait. MI: Dark Disciples and Pain Inc., you've trod on our toes again. You just keep on getting in the way of Domination, RSR, White Phoenix and the Enigma. Did you think that RSR wouldn't help us when you attacked us? Don`t you know our code of Trust, Honor, Loyalty and Friendship? MP: Not forgetting my personal favourite, the secret fifth... PAYBACK. MI: Payback will come. You can be sure of that. Right now though, we`re here to issue a challenge. Dark Disciples, before you take one more step in IIWF, we want you in the cage. You think you`re mean? You think you`re tough? When you meet Domination in the cage, you'll change your opinion. MP: No more interference in our matches. You will face us, and you will face us is the cage, and there will be no escape. MO: Raaaarrgghhh. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: As for Heavy Metal, they just seemed to enjoy the opportunity to have some help in beating up Domination. In fact, Robo Stone and Mr. Mic have been seen together quite a bit lately. Let's hear from Robo Stone and his boys: [Robo Stone stands with Atlas and Apollo Steele in the IIWF interview area.] RS: NOBODY interferes with my plans. NOBODY! AT: Rising Sun Revolution, we have LOTS a' respect for you guys in wrestling. But when we hook up in the ring, it's gonna be war. And HEAVY METAL doesn't respect ANYONE when it comes to fighting. AP: I guess everyone now knows that our boss is in cahoots with Mr. Mic. But what better combination than PAIN and METAL?! RS: The two GREATEST minds in the IIWF have joined forces. The alliance is invincible. And VICTORY... is INEVITABLE. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: We'll hear from Pain Inc., which has a title match Saturday night, a little bit later with THEIR version of what happened at Midweek Mayhem. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ONSLAUGHT defeated FISTO FLASH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: Flash went for his finisher, The Knucklebomb, but Onslaught was able to reverse it. He landed on top of Flash and rolled him up for the win. Neither man seems quite content with that one match, though. It may take a more brutal meeting for these two to resolve their differences: [SCENE: A small, beat up barn in rural Mexico. It has been turned into a training facility. The shrine where Onslaught made his blood vow is to the right of the ring. Onslaught is kneeling in front of the altar.] ON: Flash, I am giving thanks to my God for beating you. But we are far from done yet. Beating you is not enough. I will not rest until my allies have been avenged. That means when you have been destroyed. You have impressive skills Flash, I can see why Kobiashi paid for your services against my long-time friend Tony Starks. But, no matter how much skill you have, you should have never accepted that blood money from Kobiashi. My vengence knows a name, Flash. For you, the nightmare is just beginning. There will be no sleep for you, only hell to pay. Think about that blood money you were paid, Flash, I hope it was worth the hell you will go through. Prepare Flash, no one is safe. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: And Fisto Flash feels the same way. I have a feeling that there will be bloodshed the next time these men meet: RS: Well, well, well. Pullin' the rabbit outta yo' hat, HUH, Onslaught? I can understand gettin' LUCKY. My boy can't win ALL THE TIME. But now, you've lit a fire. A fire that you will NEVER put out. 'Cause once you diss the Iron Destroyer, you go on his FIST LIST. Then it becomes... PERSONAL. FF: SAVOR THE WIN, BABY! 'Cause it'll NEVER happen again! One way or another, we're gonna settle this. You see, people like you and me are warriors. And the warriors must settle the feud with ULTIMATE combat. So sooner or later, we're gonna go at it in a no holds barred match, 'cause YOU know, and I know that's the only way we will EVER be at peace -- if the other's GONE. RS: Pack yo' bags, baby! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE ZODIAC CONNECTION defeated THE ARMED FORCES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: The Armed Forces never quite forgave The Alphabet Boys for costing them a shot at the Heavyweight title at Midsummer Madness, and the A-Boys came back to haunt the former IIWF Tag Team champs once again Wednesday night. Abie and Zed popped from a crate that was delivered to ringside, pummeled Aaron and DefCon, and confused NavCom long enough for the Zodiacs to claim the win. Time certainly hasn't changed Abie and Zed, as our Larry Morton found out following the broadcast: [Backstage at Mayhem. Larry Morton has cornered the Alphabet Boys in a locker room, where they are delighting themselves in the pile of leftover sugar.] LM: The Alphabet Boys are back. Abie... Zed... can I get a word on your return? [The 'Boys stop their play for a moment] Zed: He he he. Abie: Hee Hee Zed: He he he he he Abie: Ah, Hee Hee Hee... snort. Zed: [He takes a moment to compose himself, but loses it again.] Haw! [The two begin throwing handfuls of sugar at Larry.] LM: Sorry folks, there's nothing to learn here. [Morton signals the camera to cut. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ NO CONTEST: DAN KAUFFMAN vs. MR. DAMAGE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TD: In the main event matchup, Kauffman seemingly had Mr. Damage beaten when the sinister Cadaver once again intervened. I don't know what spell Cadaver has cast on Kauffman, but "Flash" looked petrified when he saw the evil invader. Cadaver was closing in on Kauffman's companion Ginny Drury when the Jobber Justice Squad came to the rescue, preventing... heaven only knows what. ************************************************************************** -------------- UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: THE SUBWAY PSYCHO ----------------- ************************************************************************** TD: During the past two weeks, we've been taking a look at some of the IIWF's superstars up close and personal. Tonight, we bring you a report on the Subway Psycho and Mistress Sasha. [Cut to a video montage of the Psycho] TD: [voice over] The Subway Psycho has been in the IIWF since its beginning. He has always been one of the most exciting and popular wrestlers in the IIWF, but has also been one of the most controversial. Yes, controversy has always followed the Psycho... and so has one stable which has proven to be the Psycho's achilles heel... the Syndicate. [Shots of Coronation Clash, Lau kidnapping Sasha, the Psycho superplexing Joe Latta onto the Third Rail, Matsuoko attacking the Psycho as he climbs the ropes, the Syndicate, Otto Verhoeven, and the Outlaw attacking the Psycho during the People's Champion presentation, and finally the Psycho as "Louie the Ninja" De-Railing Tiger Claw. Cut to a taped shot of Dross standing outside a door in a New York skyscraper. He enters a reception area and stands outside another door that has "M. Sasha" in raised gold letters across it.] TD: I'm sure the Psycho will have a lot to say about Lau and his men, plus a lot more. Let's go in now to Mistress Sasha's office where the Psycho is waiting for us. [Dross opens the door that leads from the reception area in Sasha's office. The office is pitch black, except for diffused light coming through the curtained windows. The setting sun casts one beam of light through a crack in the curtains, forming a narrow strip of light which starts at one end of the office and stretches across to the other side. The light catches two figures seated on a couch in the center of the room. It is the Subway Psycho and Mistress Sasha.] MS: Welcome Tim. Do forgive the lighting. I've paid all my bills, but you know our friend... he doesn't much like the light, you know. TD: Yes, I know. I'm very familiar with some of his personal quirks. Psycho, why are you this way? SP: Well Tim, it's partly by choice, partly by circumstance. As far back as I can remember, I've lived below the streets... in subway tunnels, in electrical service ducts, sewers, long-forgotten catacombs deep beneath the city. I really have no true sense of my own identity -- where I came from, who my parents are, why I was left beneath the city. I was looked after by people like Mench... now I look out for them. TD: Tell us about how you met Sasha, and how you got your name. MS: I love this story. SP: In my own way, I like to be a bit of a vigilante. I consider the subway my home -- and the people who ride the subways my guests. When someone tries to mug another in my home, I take it personally. One night, about five years ago, two thugs started attacking this defenseless young woman. I sprang from the shadows and knocked the two thugs out. The girl had already been knocked unconscious by one of the thugs. A crowd soon gathered and pointed fingers at me. I panicked, and not wanting to leave the lady lying there with possible head injuries, I scooped her up and took her back to my lair below the streets. TD: Subsequently, one of the largest manhunts in New York City ensued, didn't it? SP: That's right. I believe it was the New York Post that coined the term "Subway Psycho." The story was on every newsstand and every news broadcast for a week. MS: Of course when I came to, he couldn't have treated me any better. When I was well enough, he led me to the surface where I explained the whole thing and cleared his name. He was treated as a hero instead of a villain. TD: Cleared his name... so why keep the label "Subway Psycho?" Why not something more appropriate? SP: Well, like I said Tim, I really never had a name of my own. I kept it because it's the only name I've ever known. MS: My father used to run a wrestling promotion in Germany, so I thought it would be interesting to support a wrestler here in America. I immediately thought of the "Psycho" not only because of his obvious athletic talents, but to repay him, and because he has a great wrestling name. SP: I'm glad she talked me into becoming a wrestler. Normally surface people don't accept me. Even after I save them from a mugging, they're scared by me. As a wrestler, I'm accepted and cheered. TD: Can you summarize your career in the IIWF, and touch on some important moments that have happened to you in the last year? SP: I've always tried to put forth my best effort -- to give the fans what they want to see and to fight with honor and respect for the other wrestlers. It's hard to do that with men like Brian Lau and Tiger Claw around. Other than winning the title from the Outlaw, which is still the greatest moment of my life, Lau and his men have been a thorn in my side since day one. MS: They haven't exactly left me alone either. TD: Oh yes... please tell us about your time spent with Lau. MS: I really have nothing to say. He's a horrible little man and he disgusts me. I hate him for the things he made me do to the Psycho. SP: When Sasha was "working" with Lau, my life really hit a low point. I ended up flying off the handle and destroying public property and I put the lives of innocent people in danger. The IIWF stripped me of the title that I had worked so hard for and which meant so much to me. At that time, I was not worthy of the IIWF Heavyweight Championship. TD: Do you feel like you're worthy now? SP: Yes I do. I'm at least worthy of another title shot soon. I've had my problems with the IIWF front office and how they handle things. I'm not worrying about them any more. That's Sasha's job. She negotiates the contracts and deals with the suits. I concentrate on getting another title shot. Otto is a big man, but I'm a great wrestler, and there's no doubt in my mind that I'm the man who's going to take that belt away from him. With Sasha back supporting me, there is nothing that I can't do. TD: So how did you guys reconcile? SP: The Family had a role in that. Whoever broke into the Dojo -- and it wasn't me this time -- stole Tiger Claw's IC Belt. They also stumbled upon the documents that Lau had been using to blackmail Sasha. MS: Once I had the documents, Lau's hold over me was gone. That's when I contacted the Psycho and talked him out of retirement and into a Ninja outfit. TD: Ah yes... Louie the Ninja. Very ingenious. SP: Just a little disguise to catch Lau off guard. TD: So Sasha, what was in those documents that would make you work with Lau. MS: Tim, if I could tell YOU, would I have worked with Lau in the first place? Let's just say there are parts of my past that I'm not proud of. SP: This interview is about me... and all you need to now about me is that for the first time since I've been in IIWF I am truly focused. Sasha and Mench are behind me and I have no alliances with people who will double-cross me. My goal is to reclaim that belt... and every ounce of strength in my body and every bit of energy I have is working toward that goal. The fans are truly in for a fantastic ride as I work my way back to the top. TD: No doubt they are! Well I think that's all we need to hear. I thank you both for your time. [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: I've known the Subway Psycho in two federations and when he sets his mind to something, he usually accomplishes it. I can also say that it's been a long time since I've seen the Psycho as focused as he was during that interview. It looks like "The People's Champion" is back at full strength. ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: One of the top matchups on tomorrow night's card will be a rematch of the IIWF Heavyweight Championship match from Ring Wars II. Otto Verhoeven will put the belt on the line against Deathbringer, and "The Butcher" is already getting in the... uh, spirit... for the match, as our Larry Morton learned last night. Take a look: [SCENE: A graveyard at night. Larry Morton walks casually through the thick fog. He glances with a timid expression on his face at the camera.] LM: I only hope that this was no fake phone call. Ah, it's probably just Deathbringer... [Insane laughter can be heard and Larry nearly jumps out of his skin.] LM: What was that?! What was that?! [Suddenly, a massive guy with a Jason mask wielding a large meat cleaver steps out of the mist. Morton shrieks and turns to run, only to be confronted by a rather small figure in a druid outfit. With another cry, Larry sinks to his knees and passes out. "Jason" is actually Otto Verhoeven in a mask. Verhoeven walks over to Morton and tries to wake him up by slapping him.] OV: Verdammt! Morton, wake up you sorry excuse for a man! [The druid takes off the hood and reveals the beatiful face of Nurse Heidi, laughing loudly.] NH: Hahahahhaha, vat a vimp! Happy Halloween, hahaha. [Verhoeven takes the hockey mask off and shrugs.] OV: I thought the meat cleaver was a clear hint. Whatever. So this is what you Americans call the time of terror. I like it. You can scare the hell out of arrogant American brats... and idiots like Morton here. People told me that this is a time for supernatural events, and that this would provide the lunatic known as Deathbringer with some more power. An amusing idea, eh? Perhaps I should wear this Jason mask Saturday night, I am sure I will be unstoppable and invulnerable. NH: You shouldn't make him angry, liebling. OV: Bah! Only because the freak is wearing his costume -- even in bed -- everyone thinks he is some kind of monster. But 'Bringer, I will take you down a second time and all the other fools will have to realize that the belt is right where it belongs. NH: Oh, Subway Pukehead, stop ranting about your goals. My man Otto vill show you your right place. OV: Your place is... in the SLAUGHTERHOUSE! [As Larry struggles to his feet, The Butcher quickly puts his mask back on. As Morton slowly turns around, Otto shouts a loud "BOO" in his face. Fade as Larry runs screaming into the night. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: That Larry; he pumps a IIWF page for twenty bucks and then passes out in a graveyard. Sigh. Anyway, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare will also have an opportunity to walk out of the IIWF Coliseum with a championship belt -- this time, the Intercontinental title -- when he takes on Tiger Claw. This is a match Billy has wanted for some time: [Grainy footage of a titanic battle between "Bodybag" Brad Kinder and "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. The figure of the latter steps into the image.] BS: Brian Lau, how soon you forget. Claw and I have never crossed? Certainly not by my choice. You ducked me once when you chose Kinder to take Claw's title. I wanted you then...I don't want you now. You're merely an obstruction between me and my real objective... just like you were last Saturday. Obviously President Spreadbury isn't in your pocket, or you never would have let him book this match while I am in this temper. [The video changes to a constant replay of Sexton smashing Shakespeare with the Cruiserweight title belt.] Sexton, perhaps you are the one courting favours of the President. Consider yourself reprieved. But your time is nigh, indeed I hear the bells tolling the hour. "My resolution's plac'd...Now from head to foot I am marble constant." Quote: Antony and Cleopatra. [Video stops rolling.] "Sexton, I REALLY don't like you." Quote: Billy Shakespeare. [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Lord Byron remains very upset with one Marty Warnett following the events of last week when Marty planted two kisses on Lady DeWinter. Our Bulldog Brown flew to New Orleans to get Byron's comments about his impending matchup with Warnett on "IIWF Saturday Night:" [The scene opens in the study of Lord Byron's Louisiana home. Lady DeWinter is looking out of the window, while Byron finishes some writings. Bulldog Brown enters the room, and both look up.] BB: Wow. This is some place you have here, Mr. Byron. [Lady DeWinter snorts in derision and turns back to the window.] LB: You'll forgive Milady, Mr. Brown, but she is still rather unsettled at what took place on Saturday night. DeW: I want you to hurt that little peon, Byron. I want you to maim him. Nobody has ever treated me with such flagrant disrespect. LB: And don't worry, Milady, no-one ever will again. Mr. Warnett, in touching this lady, you crossed the line. I'm going to make an example of you to the entire IIWF. I just hope you weren't planning on walking out of the arena, because when I've finished with you, you may never walk again. BB: And what of Marty Warnett's claims earlier this week, that he has returned to Wales to discredit you? LB: Mr. Brown, Warnett could already be up on harassment charges. I sincerely doubt that even that pipsqueak would be so naively stupid to risk slander as well. Milady may have let the charges slip, but believe me, I am not so kind. As he will find out tomorrow, if he actually has the guts to get into the ring. BB: I wouldn't worry about that, Marty is one of the bravest... LB: [sneering] Bravery or stupidity, Mr. Brown? The man knows nothing about me! He has seen me wrestle twice. And twice I have shown him nothing more than I wanted to. The man does not know what I am capable of, although he will soon find out. Your time is up, Mr. Brown. Ciao. [Bulldog looks around, but both Byron and DeWinter have turned away. He leaves the room, and the scene fades out. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Okay fans, I told you earlier that I met with Marty Warnett last night in the IIWF Towers and he passed along a very interesting videotape. It included... well, just take a look for yourself: [Marty Warnett walks into a reception in the lobby of the IIWF Towers. The lobby is plushly decorated in gold wallpaper and a thick red carpet. A burly security guard, who looks like a Rotundo, jumps in front of Marty.] GUARD: Hey, where do you think you're going? MW: To the top of the IIWF, fool! I have an appointment with Tim Dross. GUARD: Let me see... what's your name? MW: Sigh ... Warnett, Marty. GUARD: [looking at his clipboard] Nope, sorry. No Warnett on this list. MW: What?! GUARD: You ain't getting in. The new VP has ordered us to get stricter, especially with those Outsiders around. MW: I have an interview and I'm getting in. [the two square up] [Tim Dross exits an elevator, just in the nick of time] TD: Marty! GUARD : Mr. Dross... You know this guy? TD: He's one of the most popular sports entertainers, er, I mean "wrestlers" we have! Come on up, Marty. [After a long and tedious elevator ride, they enter a spartan office, with only a creaky table, two wooden chairs, and a TV/VCR unit.] MW: Okay, Dross, I'll keep this short, as I'm busy today. TD: What was that phone call? What tape were you talking about? MW: One of the things we've imported from you Americans are chat shows. You know, where brave people bare their souls. A friend taped something you might find interesting. [he hands Dross a video tape] I gotta go prepare for Lord Biro tomorrow night. Oh yeah, I wanted to apologize to Milady DeWinter. In my urge to get at Lord Byrite, I embarrassed and upset her, something I should never have done. She's a classy chick, and deserved better. [Warnett leaves the room, leaving Dross alone.] TD: Well, that was short and sweet, let's see if this tape helps. [he inserts the tape in the VCR] Hope it's not PAL. [The screen fills with an audience seated in a horseshoe shape. The title "Ether" appears in big letters. Ether Rantson, a woman in her mid-fifties, with large teeth and blondish/grey hair appears.] ER: Welcome to the Ether Rantson show. Today we're dealing with the shameful cases of parent abuse. In particular, men with sons who fail to even acknowledge their parentage. Our first guest is Ernie Postlethwaite. [she walks to a disheveled, elderly man with his front teeth missing] Ernie,your son is famous, isn't he? EP: Indeed he is, Ether. I had an affair 26 years ago. She was a wealthy lady -- married to the local lord. I used to work on their estate. ER: How did the affair start? EP: He was a real swine, I was too lowly for him to even talk to. She had a beauty, an inner grace. Very humble too. I used to play Rugby League for St Helens up in Lancashire and she used to tease me about my thighs! [the audience laughs] ER: I bet! And she got pregnant? EP: Yes she did. And that was the real problem. ER: I understand it would be. EP: The lord was furious and threatened to kill me! In the end, the child was born, and she was forced to name her husband as the father. That really hurt [he starts to break down] ER: It's okay, you don't have to ... EP: No, I want to. It was hard, seeing myself. That boy really looked like me. Then, five years ago, she died. I'd heard the boy had grown big and strong just like his pop. Over in Japan, I heard. I tried to find him, and I wish I hadn't. ER: Why not? EP: He spat in my face and hit me. He called me a loser and a liar. I asked him for a DNA test, but he refused. Even called me a parasite. I don't want money, just to know my son. ER: Do you know where he is now? EP: He's a wrestler with the IIWF. Calls himself Lord Byron and likes to pretend he's so much better than everyone else. He's nowt but a Postlethwaite, tho'. He just sickens me. ER: Thanks for that. Now for another disturbing stor... [tape recording ends] [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Wow, I don't know that Lord Byron will be able to avoid commenting on this story now. What an match it should be tomorrow when Warnett and Lord Byron meet in the ring! We heard last week from Rising Sun Revolution appealing to Hakiro Matsuoko to reconsider his commitment to The Syndicate. Hakiro asked that we send a camera crew to his dojo for his response. Let's go to the footage: [SCENE: Hakiro Matsuoko's dojo in Japan. The awards of past triumphs line the walls. At the centerpiece is the IIWF Intercontinental Title. Hakiro is performing his kata, and the intensity is shimmering off of his body, like the days when he first entered the IIWF.] HM: Self-reflection is an important tool for a warrior. It might even aid him more than focus and discipline. My greatest honor in my memory was winning the battle royal to become the first Intercontinental champion. Rising Sun Revolution, I remember that you were the first ones to congratulate me on my victory, and I felt pride when you captured the tag team titles. I do hear your words and I weigh them. I fight for the day when I can once again hold a title here. That does not seem to be happening. The Syndicate is in a state of confusion. We suffer form a lack of focus, I shall make sure that the problem is vanquished. We shall regain our honor again. There is one last thing: Shinja Chow, you are a man with no honor. You do not deserve to hold that cruiserweight title. That is why I interfered in your match. Go, Chow, and seek solace in the fact that I did not destroy you. If you cross my path again, I will. [Hakiro goes to the porch of his dojo and meditates while the sun sets on another day. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: It's been awhile since we've heard from The Family. Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola have not fared well in the IIWF of late, but they hope to turn their fortunes around soon. Let's go have "Dinna Wit Da Don:" [The Family is eating dinner at Ravioli's, a quaint Italian restaurant in Brooklyn.] DA: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the long-awaited return of Dinna Wit Da Don. We have a lot of catching up to do. First, I'd like to address the situation of the IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury. Mr. President, please tell us, if you can, how did the Syndicate get into the ring at Ring Wars II? Can you also tell us why you decided against the Family when we went for the Tag Team Championship Belt? President Spreadbury, why don't you, as you say, in the interest of fairness, let me back into the ring to have a chance at the IC Belt? Mr. President, you are nothing but a two-bit, well, Dolores, if you get my drift. How have you decided to punish Latta for his betrayal of your beloved Syndicate? VC: Yeah, Mr. Prez. You keep talkin a good game but you ain't doin a ting about nothin. You owe da Family an apology, ya louse. SF: Quite frankly Spreadbury, if I, the most rational man in wrestling, feel that you are a Benedict Arnold, then you must be. Spreadbury, our attorney Bill Edelstein ha not gone away and he will be monitoring your EVERY decision. DA: As will we! Now on to other matters. It seems that Mr. Verhoeven thinks that he deserves the belt around his waist. Otto, you took out the Family last week because the Family was not prepared. After my loss at Ring Wars we began to lose faith in the IIWF, just like the fans have. This Saturday night, Verhoeven, Deathbringer will introduce you to justice, 'Bringer style, and then we'll dispose of your limp body with the fishes, pal. As for Mr. Flash, since I will admit that I was off my game last week, I challenge you to a rematch Saturday. Are you a real man Flash? Let my attorney know of your decision. VC: And dont tink I'm gonna slip outta sight either. Robski, if you tink you can talk bad about da Man of Steel, den you're gonna have to come through me. I'll be waitin for ya Robski. Like a freight train... choo choo! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: The Family hopes to advance in the IIWF, but I'm not sure slandering the federation president is the best way to do that. As we heard earlier this week, the IIWF Executive Committee cleared President Spreadbury of all alleged charges, so Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola may be precariously close to stepping over a line. Anyway, we'll be right back after this self-serving promo, fans! [Cut to clips of many IIWF stars such as Billy Shakespeare, White Phoenix, Randy Acorn, and Chris Quigley wrestling each other. Then the screen explodes into a picture of the Cruiserweight Title Belt. Walking in front of this picture is Randy Acorn with the title on his shoulder and a grin on his face.] RA: The Cruiserweight title. Some call it the wimps' title... [A shot of Becky LaRue pops onto the screen.} BL: I never said "wimp." I said "RUNT." [Cut back to the shot of Randy Acorn.] RA: ...but hey, I'm holding the belt so you know that's not true. Billy Shakespeare couldn't handle it but I sure as hel.. uh, I mean "heck" can. And anyone who wants to challenge me, come get some. [Cut to a closeup of the title on Randy's shoulder and zoom out to show his face.] The IIWF... it's where the competition is! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: I think I much prefer those public health spots with Deathbringer. Moving on, let's take a look at the IIWF tag team scene. We heard earlier from Domination and Heavy Metal, but the IIWF Tag Team belts will be on the line tomorrow night when Rising Sun Revolution defends against Pain Inc. Let's hear first from the champions, Ryudo and Hiroshi: [SCENE: Backstage at Midweek Mayhem. The IIWF tag team champions, Rising Sun Revolution, stand with Larry Morton] LM: Ryudo, it seems your opponents on Saturday just couldn't wait... RYUDO: Let me tell you this, Larry, there's been far too much interference in matches as of late, by managers and by other wrestlers. Pain Inc, if you jump any of our friends, we jump you. Simple as that. LM: And what of Domination? How are they feeling after that attack? RYUDO: How do you think they feel, Larry? They want revenge! And I'm not surprised! But lets get back to the point. Morningstar, Hellraiser, you've both got a title shot on Saturday night. Mr. Mic, if you've got any sense in you, you'll keep your buddies away from ringside. Monster took you out once, and from what I hear, he can't wait to do it again. And frankly, I'm not too sure that if he got the urge, any of us could stop him. Pain. Inc., Saturday night, I hope you're ready for a nightmare, because that's what you're going to get. The gold will stay with the Dragon and the Demon. LM: And what are Hiroshi's thoughts on this match? [Hiroshi yells something in Japanese, pointing at the camera, and making snapping and punching motions with his hand, before flexing his muscles.] RYUDO: You know, Mr. Morton, I couldn't have put it better myself. Pain. Inc, you're going down. See you in the ring! [Ryudo and Hiroshi high five each other, and walk away. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Saturday's title defense will not be an easy one for the Rising Sun Revolution. Mr. Mic has Morningstar and Hellraiser ready for the match of their lives: [SCENE: The National Sports Center in Jakarta. Pain Inc. are in the ring. Hellraiser is bench pressing what appears to be 400 lbs. Morningstar is practicing flips off the top rope while wearing 30 lbs of ankle weights. Mr.Mic is in the ring and encouraging his troops. He looks at the camera and smiles from ear to ear. He then walks towards the camera and steps out of the ring, rubbing his hands together and giving a maniacal laugh. He grabs a microphone and does his best TV game show announcer impression.] MM: Now ladies and gentleman the Oscar for the biggest headaches in a tag team role goes to... DUMB NATION! Hey boys, I got something for ya [he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a bottle of Extra-Strength Tylenol] I thought you could use it. Ha Ha Ha. You two losers come down to ringside and we're there to see Heavy Metal, a real tag team, when Monster and Mr.Stupid walk over to us. I was pouring some salt on my popcorn and Monster attacks me. I reacted and threw the salt in his eyes. Pain Inc. rushed to my aid [he turns to the ring] Thanks again boys. [Pain Inc. look at Mr.Mic and nod to him] Mr. Stone and I then were talking when those two fisheads, the Rising Sun Retards, come huffing and puffing down to ringside and blindside my men. Stupid move boys, considering my boys are gonna relieve you of those belts on Saturday. You've been pretty cocky since you won those belts ILLEGALLY! The IIWF shouldn't be looking at Brian Lau to see who's paying off the Pres. It's obviously the Retards! Domination is allowed to be at ringside and interfere in matches and the Pres does nothing. Great job Pres, maybe you can join the Brassiere at 7-11! So, to even the odds I have asked the Armed Forces to accompany us to ringside. Domination, if you want to get involved in this match, go ahead, but I think it'll be tough with NavCom and Defcon using you as tackling dummies. Ha ha ha. SATURDAY NIGHT, RETARDS, SHINE THOSE BELTS UP REAL NICE.... AND HAVE THEM DELOUSED AS WELL, WOULD YA? YOU BOYS MAY BE THE KINGS OF THE PEARL HARBOR JOB, BUT WE ARE THE MASTERS OF MIDWAY -- AND WE ALL KNOW WHO WON AT MIDWAY. But don't worry guys, if you can make televisions, I can get you a job.... Ha ha ha. Get lost! [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Pain Inc. has its attention on Rising Sun Revolution, but The Zodiac Connection is ready to take on Pain Inc. again. The Zodiacs have a lot of confidence following their victory over the Armed Forces Wednesday, and they've put a unique "spin" on their rematch plans with Pain Inc. Here's what Taurus and Scorpio had to say: [SCENE: Taurus and Scorpio stand in front of a large wheel of fortune, much like the ones at carnivals. Twelve colored spaces are divided on the wheel, each one marked with a sign of the Zodiac.] SC: Ladies and Gentlemen of the IIWF I will now ask that Taurus present to you the Zodiac Wheel, which is like no other wheel! It is what the big man likes to call our opponents' Wheel of Misfortune. Pain, Inc., pay attention, because you have been chosen to be our first contestant to spin the Wheel of Misfortune -- our Zodiac Wheel. With this wheel you will get to determine what our next match will be, and I will ask Taurus to explain it in simple terms because, Pain, Inc,. he can reach you in a way that I can't! TA: Behold people.... the 12 signs of the Zodiac. Each of these signs corresponds to a particular match in which the Zodiac Connection will be willing to take on anyone. You see the sign for the Capricorn? Well that my friends is the symbol that we have decided will be representative of a "First Blood" Match. Quite simply the first team in which both members have begun to bleed shall be declared the losers of the match. The sign of the Aquarius is the one we have chosen for a simple "Bash on the Beach." In that match the tag team match will take place as a falls-count-anywhere on a beach. Pisces, well it represents a fish, so how about we have that represent an "I Quit" match. The loser of this match should be left floundering like a fish. Next up: the sign of Aries! In the era of Greek mythology, Aries was the God of War so I guess this match should be a "War Games" match. Next is quite obviously the sign of the Taurus so let's see what type match should this one be. I'll let you announce this one Scorpio! SC: Well, how about we call that one a "Russian Chain" match. That has always been your favorite type of match big man! TA: Fair enough! Next we have the sign of the Gemini. Well, I guess that one should be a "Texas Tornado" match in which all four combatants are in the ring at once. Next is Cancer, which I think should be a "Texas Death Match" with a special twist -- both members of a team shall be rendered unable to continue before the match is declared over. You know what that means -- even if one member of a team can't continue, the match will continue until the second member of the team go on. SC: Next we have the sign of Leo! TA: And I think that the sign should represent a stipulation in which the losing tag team has their courage taken away from them. I got it! How about the losing tag team serves as slaves to the winning tag team for a week? SC: Fair enough. Next we have the Libra! TA: I can't think of anything for this one, so maybe we should give the victims a chance to chose their fate. We'll make this one "Victim's Choice!" And now we get to Scorpio. How about we make this an interesting match? Scorpio -- a simple "No Disqualification" match! SC: Fair enough. Finally, we get to Sagittarius, which includes much of the holiday season. TA: So why don't we make this a "Leather Strap" match? You know, the type of match in which it is always better to give than to receive. SC: There you have it, folks... welcome to the Zodiac Wheel -- the Wheel of Misfortune! Pain, Inc., Armed Forces, and every one of you so-called bad guys here in the IIWF... exactly how lucky do you feel, boys? [Taurus spins the wheel and the camera focuses on the spinning colors as the shot fades. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: We'll see if Mr. Mic and his troops decide to accept the Zodiacs' challenge and spin the wheel for a rematch. Who knows? The belts may even be on the line if Pain Inc. should win tomorrow night. And speaking of "on the line," the Armed Forces have been threatened with a return to active military duty if they don't turn their fortunes around soon. Based on the way things have been going, I have only two words for the Forces: SPIT SHINE. Heh, heh. Anyway, let's look at some footage we received from WOWT-TV in Omaha. As you can imagine, they aren't happy about the return of the Alphabet Boys [the teens in the audience whoop again]: [SCENE: WOWT-TV 6 studio in Omaha. An anchorman sits at the table, addressing the camera. In the background is a monitor with a picture of the Armed Forces on it -- the words "Fall from Grace" emblazoned across the screen.] ANCHOR: And now, a special breakdown segment of the program. Back in August, the pride of Omaha, The Armed Forces, won the IIWF World Tag Team Championship from the High Plains Drifters. This sent Omaha into a Forces Fever, as people began to make them the hottest thing in town. However, things have gone sour since then, and we've got news correspondent Jane Phillips downtown live with the Armed Forces at the Civic Auditorium. Jane? [Cut to the Omaha Civic Auditorium. The Armed Forces are joined by Aaron the Caddy. Jane is waving a microphone around.] JP: Yes indeed, it was just three short months ago that the Armed Forces won the IIWF Tag Team titles, but since their upset loss to the Rising Sun Revolution at Ring Wars II, things have been going downhill. DC: Listen up, Jane Phillips. The only reason things have "been goin' downhill" is because of all these punks crawlin' outta the woodwork to make their comebacks. And who better to come back against than the hottest team in the IIWF? So, they come in and screw us over backwards. It sucks. ATC: I've been on the phone with President Spreadbury. I've demanded some justice around here. I whined about the Ring Wars II thing. No dice. He's on Lau's payroll, not mine. I asked him for a good, fair rematch. He wouldn't give us that, either. Those punks, Domination show up and we get shafted. I ask him for some decent matches to build us back up, and he sticks us against the Stargazers twice in two weeks. Plain and simple, we're tired of being held down around here! My God, if we're gonna take the time to wrestle, how 'bout a match that'll help our standing? NC: We jobbed to the freakin' Zodiacs for cryin' out loud! The Zodiacs... have they EVER won a match before? Geez... we show up at Ring Wars, all pumped up. We beat the opponents. Stunt Team and the Drifters fall, just like it's drawn up. But, oh wait, some other team just showed up for the match. And, what happens? The Revolvers pull Def's tights for a fast three count and we lose the titles. That's bull. Then, we get a rematch... and these newcomers, Determination come and screw us outta a fair shot there. Then, we get in a match with the Astrologers. My Lord, a great match to get into, yeah thanks Dan, we have so much to gain by beating the Zodiacs AGAIN. And, the idiots that screwed us at Midsummer Madness, the Alphabet Boys, they decide they're gonna make their comeback by jumping ol' Def and me. Well, I don't think so! JP: Yes, but... NC: Shut up, Phillips! I'm sick and tired of listening to your crap. Alphabet Boys... we want a match with you punks... you ran outta the fed when we had a shot at you earlier and now we're gonna pay you back... listen up everybody! [WOWT's news director panics at the insanity of the broadcast and cuts back to the studio.] ANCHOR: [in shock] Um, thank you Jane for that interview. I hope you get out of there safely tonight. Obviously, the Armed Forces are a little distraught over their recent hard luck, as we see the usually calm NavCom go loose cannon on us. Well, now let's bring in our weather man, Andy Wallace, for tonight's forecast...] [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ************************************************************************** ---------------------------- IIWF NEW BLOOD ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: Fans, I have information on FOUR new entries into the IIWF this week. The talent literally continues to pour into the IIWF as word of the outstanding competition and action here continues to spread around the globe. Tonight, I'll offer a look at two singles wrestlers and two tag teams who hope to make an impact here in the IIWF. First up is "Bad Boy" Mark Bagwell, and you can imagine that he wasn't pleased to hear that "Badboy" Randy Acorn shares his nickname. Let's hear from Bagwell now: [SCENE: Inside "Bad Boy" Mark Bagwell's limo. He's wearing a light beige Armani suit and black Ray Ban shades. He's reading his new IIWF contract.] MB: Well, well, well. What do we have here, eh? It appears that the true "Bad Boy" will be making his IIWF debut. Now unlike before, a title isn't my main concern. Well, maybe it is. See, I'm here to prove to all my so-called "critics" that I am the best in wrestling and that I can beat anyone... anywhere. [He picks up another paper by his side] Let's take a look at this roster, shall we? We've got Dan Kauffman and Otto Verhoeven. Not bad, but not great either. Sure they have had success, but then again they never faced Mark Bagwell. But who's to say that they won't get the chance soon? Now, let's take a look at the IIWF cruiserweight champion, Randy Acorn. I'm not sure who you think you are, but there's only one "BAD BOY" in wrestling, and that's ME! Your title doesn't mean much to me. On the other hand, the fact that you call yourself "Bad Boy" does. You know something, Acorn, I just figured out why you're the cruiserweight champion! The only reason you ever got that title shot and the only reason you ever got signed by the IIWF is because they thought you were me! But once your agent signed the papers for you and you finally hit the ring, people saw what kind of fake you really are. They were expecting the true legend of wrestling to enter the ranks of the IIWF, not some cheap imitation, like you. But fear not, now the IIWF has the true "Bad Boy" here, and my first order of duty will be to take care of Acorn. And while I'm at it, I might as well take that IIWF Cruiserweight belt just to rub it in your ugly face. You might be saying: "Ya right! Why should I defend my belt from a guy who has yet to wrestle in the IIWF?". One reason Acorn, because the best should get title shots and none are greater than me. And if you don't accept this challenge, I will make each and every match you have in the IIWF a living hell! And by the way Acorn, this challenge is not just for the cruiserweight belt, but for the "Bad Boy" name as well! Now, let's get back to where I was... ah yes, the IIWF roster. Who else we got here? The IIWF Intercontinental champion is someone called Tiger Claw? Man, where do these people come up with these names? Ah well, can't worry about some idjit like him. Who else, who else? Well I'll be damned! Q-Ball Quigley is here? No way! The "dipstick" of wrestling is in the IIWF? I'm starting to wonder if signing with the IIWF was a good idea. I might become the world's champ in just one week! So Q-Ball, it looks like we get to eventually square it off here in the IIWF, eh? I can't wait to kick your ass some more! Say what you will, IIWF. There's no doubt I'm gonna be taking over this federation, whether you like it or not. Because if you play with the best, you're gonna lose like the rest. And baby, I'm the best there is! WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOO! [Bagwell crumples up the IIWF roster sheet, lowers his limo window, and throws the paper out. Fade. The following stats flash on the screen:] "Bad Boy" Mark Bagwell ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Height: 5'8" Weight: 221 lbs Orientation: Heel Manager/Valet: none Origin: Toronto, Canada Appearance: Mark Bagwell is a male caucasian, he wears white jeans with a sliver belt, Oakley silver shades, has a goatee and short dirty blond hair which is slicked back. He also wears black cowboy boots, and a black jean shirt with no sleeves, with the Bad Boy name on the back. He's tanned and he's got a well defined body. Theme Music: "Theme from Bad Boys" by Mark Mancina Favourite moves: 1. back suplex 2. vertical suplex 3. swinging neckbreaker 4. double underhook suplex 5. chop Finishing move: 1. Boston "Bad" Crab 2. Bad Plex [German suplex/bridge] Primary Attributes: 1. Technical 2. Cheating 3. Intelligence Profile: Mark Bagwell has been watching wrestling from a very young age. He's watched the sport since he first saw the Stampede Wrestling on TV. At 19 years old, he was already an "up and coming star" as stated in PWI. Now, at age 24, he's a wrestling veteran. Doesn't care about the fans, and has a reputation of being one of, if not the dirtiest player in the sport of wrestling today. But he does have great technical skills, as he studies his opponents before any match, and can adapt to any style they use. Will [and often does] get on his opponent's nerves. He will jump, annoy and cost anyone a match just to get his point across. He's accumulated quite a bit of money from his wrestling career, and loves to show it off. Not as active as he once was, currently wrestling in a few selected feds. He's a member of the most elite team in wrestling, "The Body Shop" which consists of "The Attack" Zach Malone and "Dreamlover" Trey Porter. Ring Entrance: As the "Theme from Bad Boys" by Mark Mancina begins to play over the PA system, the arena goes black, and "black" lights turn up. There's a "Bad Boy" logo which is shown in the middle if the ring, doing 360 degree turns. Mark Bagwell comes out from the locker room with a cocky smile on his face, holds his hands up high, occasionally giving the finger to the fans when the camera isn't on him. He wears his usual wrestling attire, which consists of white jeans, with a silver belt, black cowboys boots, and also a black jean shirt with ripped off sleeves, with "Bad Boy" written on the back. He also wears a pair of silver Oakley shades. As he gets about halfway to the ring, he'll lower his shades a bit, and begin to insult a few fans at ringside. Once he begins to walk up the ring stairs, he'll replace his shades back to normal, flick his chewing gum out, and jump into the ring. Once in the ring, he'll take off the shades, fix his hair, and give out a loud "Wooooo!!!". [Handler: Mark Straczek ] [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Another newcomer who is hoping to challenge for a title soon is Superstar Stud Stetson. Despite his alleged reputation, I haven't heard much about this guy, so I'll let him introduce himself in his own... inimitable style: [SCENE: A private gym in which Superstar Stud Stetson is seen strenuously working out. Lace comes over to Stetson and hands him a a drink. Stetson stops lifting weights and takes a sip. Lace then begins giving Stetson a massage.] SS: I have gone from federation to federation in hopes of finding talent -- in hopes of proving my superiority against tough competition. The end result every time is my whipping someone's ass and proving that simply no one else compares. I am the hottest item in all of the world. I am what everyone wishes they could be. I am the kind of guy who wives dream their pathetic husbands could be. I am the only man worthy of being with someone as gorgeous as Lace. [Stetson grabs Lace and puts his arms around her.] SS: But when it comes down to it, the mold was broken when I was created and no one will ever compare to me. No one in this world is worth being in the same ring as me. That is why I find myself endlessly searching for competition -- hopelessly wishing that I could find a challenge. I hear the IIWF has got some top guns. But as far as I see, there are only wannabe Superstars. But I would gladly teach you duds what a Superstar really is all about. Knowing the fed heads, they will be too scared to sign the Stud because they don't want their talent to look bad. What would the fans do if a I made a fool out of all the supposed Superstars? Chris Quigley we all know you dream of being the Hitman, and if I do decide to join the IIWF, I would gladly give you a few hits upside the head. Deathbringer... or is that Undertaker? Anyway, death will definitely come your way. There are several others who I would love whip, but I don't want to waste my time naming these pathetic losers. LACE: As you can all you see, my man is just too good for you. But if you're extra lucky, you fans of the IIWF might be able to see the Goddess of wrestling and the greatest wrestler ever born. SS: I have a phrase that I have coined in this sport and it goes like this: "When it comes to Superstars, I put all the rest to shame." [Stetson then goes back to lifting weights. While Lace blows the camera a kiss while it fades. The following stats flash on the screen:] "Superstar" Stud Stetson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Height: 6'7" Weight: 285lbs Orientation: Heel Manager/Valet: Lace Origin: Everyone's Deepest Desires Appearance: Stud Stetson has an amazing physique which is a tribute to his years of working out. He has dark black shoulder length hair which sometimes is put in a pony tail. He also sports a goatee. His complexion is fairly tanned. His ring attire consists of a leather jacket, red ring boots with black letters printed "SSS". He also wears red trunks that say "Simply a Superstar" on the back. Lace is a gorgeous dark-haired women with an amazing body. She usually wears tight-fitting and revealing dresses to ringside. Theme Music: "Rain Will Fall" I Mother Earth Favourite moves: 1. DDT 2. Steinerline 3. Powerbomb 4. Abdominal Stretch 5. STF Finishing move: Fall From Grace - Much like a Gorilla Press but he drops his opponent on his knee. Primary attributes: 1. Intelligence 2. Cheating 3. Brawling Profile: Stetson is an extremely cocky wrestler but at the same time is a master of mind games and psychology. Despite what he says he never underestimates his foes and takes the sport seriously. At the same time he is extremely dangerous and has ended many a careers Besides Lace, Stetson is a loner since he feels no one else is worth being his partner. He may at sometime form a stable but he has let it be known he would have to be the leader. Stetson has been in several e-wrestling feds but hasn't lasted long because he has either been suspended or left because he felt the federation was not worthy of him. He may not ever admit it but he cares for Lace deeply and will attack anyone he thinks is making passes towards her. Lace is as dangerous and sly as she is beautiful. She has been the catalyst for many sneak attacks. She also is the master of manipulation and always gets her way. She has left a path of many broken hearts and bodies. Together Lace and Stetson are a lethal combination. [Handler: Chris Spicer ] [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: And, as I mentioned, we have two new tag teams ready to test their mettle in the IIWF. First up is a look at a team called G.W.R. Well let's roll that footage P.D.Q. and A.S.A.P. [Cut to a black screen. The words "G.W.R. ON WRESTLING" appear, then the shot changes to Loco and Spoiler sitting in comfortable chairs, looking at the camera.] SP: In one way, it's a sport like any other. Strip away the glamour and glitz and you're down to sheer athletic ability. Yet in another way, it's a sport all its own. The only sport that can really compare to it in any meaningful way is boxing, and even then the comparison is really stretched. [Black screen again. This time the words "G.W.R. ON SPORT" come up.] SP: There are a number of dangers facing sport. Money is the biggest problem though. You pay the piper, you call the tune. What we're seeing is the very real problem of talent being crowded out for money, sales and endorsements. We don't like that. No sport should ever be about how you look or who sponsors you. [Cut back to the black screen. The words "G.W.R. ON CHAMPIONSHIP BELTS" appear.] SP: How do we put this? Belts are something to be proud of if you win them, but they don't actually mean anything. I mean, look at it. It's like the FA cup in football. You win it... and all that it means is you've won the FA cup. Now, if you were to win the championship, that's a different thing. [Black screen: G.W.R. ON PROVING THEMSELVES.] SP: There's only one way to prove yourself to anyone. Come in at the bottom and work your way up. Sure, we could turn up and say we want title shots and blah, blah, blah. But even if we were to win the titles, what would it prove? That we were good enough to beat one team on one night? Like I said, winning the championship is a different thing. We are most definitely not a cup team. [Black screen: G.W.R - PET PEEVES] SP: Pretty boys. People who look good and think that means they can wrestle. People who get to the top without earning it. People who think that shouting the name of their country makes them a good guy and absolves all their sins. LO: Golf. [Black screen: G.W.R. PERSONAL HEROES] SP: Tough question, but I admire anyone who works his way to the top. Even John Major has earned some sort of respect from me in that way. There's no one who really stands out though. Certainly no wrestlers. LO: No one you'd know. [Black screen: G.W.R. FAVORITE WRESTLERS.] BOTH: [in unison] US! [Black screen: G.W.R ON THE PAST.] BOTH: [in unison] No comment. [Black screen: G.W. R. ON JOINING THE IIWF.] SP: We came here for the competition, we came here to fight, we came here to prove ourselves. We plan on doing all of that. LO: And beating some people up on the side, as well. [Black screen: G.W.R. ON THE FUTURE.] SP: It's the age of the train, that's all you need to know. That's all you need to know. [The following stats flash on the screen:] G.W.R. ~~~~~~ Orientation: Neutral Manager: General Kane Origin: Parts unknown Theme music: "Steam" by Peter Gabriel. Name: SPOILER LOCO Height: 5'11" 5'10" Weight: 240 lbs 305 lbs Favourite Moves: 1. Dropkick 1. Backbreaker 2. European uppercut 2. Belly-to-belly suplex 3. Frankensteiner 3. DDT 4. Rocker Dropper 4. Steinerline 5. Russian legsweep 5. Full nelson Primary Attributes: 1. Endurance 1. Strength 2. Intelligence 2. Brawling 3. Teamwork 3. Teamwork Tag Team Finishers: 1. The end of the line - Loco Piledrives Spoiler into a prone opponent. 2. The Terminus - Loco executes a front suplex off the second or top turnbuckle, Spoiler drops an elbow or knee on the opponent as he lands. Appearance: The team looks somewhat like the Road Warriors. Spoiler is slightly taller however, and much leaner. Spoiler has short hair, blue eyes and facially looks somewhat like HBK. Loco has short hair. Facially, he looks somewhat like a slightly chubbier Lex Luger. Ring attire is plain full length black tights, with pictures of trains on the side. General Kane is from Newport Wales. He is always dressed in a suit, usually in black, but sometimes [very rarely] in grey-green. He wears sunglasses on most occasions, largely because his eyes are a vivid shade of green. Profile: Like his partner, Spoiler is a tag team specialist. They are almost exclusively tag team wrestlers, and when either of them do wrestle a single match, they seem to be much worse than they should really be. Spoiler is the more talkative of the two, and is never short of a comment or seven. Indeed his mouth often gets him in trouble. He believes in hard work and proving himself. However, he also believes that hard work should get a reward [which has led, in part, to him accusing FWLI of conspiring against him] He also says that belts mean very little. They are like winning the FA cup -- something to be proud of, but in terms of whether or not you're the best team in the country, they prove nothing. Loco never says much. It's not that he won't speak, or that he doesn't speak, it's just that he won't speak unless he has something to say. Loco is the stronger of the two, and is somewhat of a suplex master. He seems fiercely loyal to Spoiler. General Kane is a real general [or so he says], has a penchant for showing off his intelligence, and often uses chess metaphors. He believes in sound planning and seems to have some sort of master plan [which he isn't saying much about]. He regards himself as the master planner and hardly ever physically interferes in matches [though he has been known to use distraction tactics] [Handler: Huw Llewellyn Davies <106125.1165@compuserve.com>] [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: And finally, we have a team which I've heard good things about. If they live up to their reputation, the other teams in the IIWF had better get ready for the battle of their lives. Let's take a look at The Players' Club: [The following stats flash on the screen:] The Players' Club ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Manager/Valet: "Sweet" Sara Simpson Theme Music: "Ain't No Playa" & "Players' Club" Rappin 4-Tay "Bad Company" Bad Company. Name: "Desirable" Danny Dynamite Michael "the Maverick" Reyna Weight: 235lbs 235lbs Height: 5'11" 6'0" Origin: "Center of every woman's Riverside, CA, residing in dream, and every man's Minnesota nightmare" Appearance: Danny wears a long black Reyna comes to the ring with robe, with three inter- warm-up style pants and his locking D's on the back. high school letter jacket. He has short brown hair, He has short black hair. and a goatee. While wrestling, Reyna wears In the ring, wears plain a black singlet, with the word black trunks with "Maverick" adorned across the "Desirable" on the seat. lower back in gold. Orientation: face, with heelish streak Favorite Moves: 1. Plancha 1. DDT 2. Clothesline 2. Suplex 3. Tope dive 3. Spinebuster 4. Shooting star 4. Piledriver press 5. Clothesline 5. Superkick Tag Team Finisher: Heartbreaker - Reyna catches opponent in a tilt-a-whirl suplex, and Dynamite comes off the top rope with a leg drop. Primary attributes: 1. Endurance 1. Intelligence 2. Aerial 2. Technical 3. Teamwork 3. Teamwork Profile: Both former RSPCW Light Heavyweight champs, both former RSPCW/FWLI six-man champs, current GCW Continental Tag Champs, former high school and college wrestling champs in the city, state, and country level. Reyna was the former RSPCW Japan Heavyweight champ, and Danny is the current RSPCW Japan Champ. [Handler: Andy McDonel [ddynamit@sprynet.com]] ************************************************************************** ------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT: A PREVIEW --------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: I've already mentioned some of the matches coming your way on "IIWF Saturday Night," but let's take a look at the complete lineup OF LIVE MATCHES scheduled for tomorrow's card: * The Players' Club vs. The Barnacle Brothers [J] * Armed Forces vs. Domination * Lord Byron vs. Marty Warnett * Subway Psycho vs. "Superstar" Stud Stetson * IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Rising Sun Revolution vs. Pain Inc. * IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Tiger Claw vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare * IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Deathbringer TD: And several dark matches are planned, as well. So if you can make it to the IIWF Coliseum tomorrow night, you'll see a full card worthy of any coliseum in the world! ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Otto Verhoeven H 11 9 2 0 82% (WC) WC Tiger Claw H 27 15 11 1 57% (IC) IC "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 12 5 5 2 50% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The White Phoenix F 7 6 1 0 86% (1) 1 Deathbringer F 20 15 3 2 80% (2) 2 Billy Shakespeare F 20 15 5 0 75% (3) 3 Dan Kauffman F 19 13 4 2 74% (4) 4 Subway Psycho F 17 12 4 1 74% (5) 5 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 14 10 4 0 71% (7) 6 Chris Quigley F 10 7 3 0 70% (6) 7 Billy Sexton H 18 12 6 0 67% (9) 8 The Sandman H 13 8 5 0 62% (8) 9 Hakiro Matsuoko H 20 11 8 1 58% (10) 10 Don Antonio F 18 10 8 0 56% (11) 11 Man Of Steel F 22 11 9 2 55% (13) 12 Mr. Damage H 13 7 6 0 54% (14) 13 Vinny Cappicola F 12 5 4 3 54% (15) 14 Casey James H 19 9 8 2 53% (16=) 15 Robski H 17 9 8 0 53% (18) 16 Marty Warnett F 15 8 7 0 53% (20) 17 Fisto Flash H 20 9 9 2 50% (16=) 18 Joe Latta H 19 9 9 1 50% (19) 19 Archangel F 10 5 5 0 50% (12) 20 Lord Byron H 2 1 1 0 50% (22) 21 Magus H 16 5 11 0 31% (23) 22 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Venusian Death Cell H 3 3 0 0 100% (24) 23 Onslaught F 3 3 0 0 100% (25) 24 Steve Kowalski H 2 2 0 0 100% (26) 25 "Superman" Mike Stewart F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 26 Stud Stetson H - - - - - (-) - "Badboy" Mark Bagwell H - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Hangman H 11 4 4 3 50% (21) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 6 6 0 0 100% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heavy Metal H 8 6 2 0 75% (1=) 1= Pain Inc. H 8 6 2 0 75% (1=) 1= High Plains Drifters H 18 12 5 1 69% (3) 3 The Arabian Knights H 9 6 3 0 67% (4) 4 The Armed Forces H 17 10 6 1 62% (5) 5 The Zodiac Connection F 10 5 5 0 50% (7) 6 Domination F 2 1 0 1 75% (8) 7 The Dark Disciples H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 8 The Players' Club F - - - - - (-) - GWR F - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Atomic Destroyers H 12 7 4 1 63% (6) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -- COMING TUESDAY: "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH LARRY MORTON & BECKY LaRUE -- ************************************************************************** TD: We're gearing up for an exciting "IIWF Saturday Night" as Steve Roberts and I call all the action from the IIWF Coliseum. Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will be here to bring you all the highlights and interviews next Tuesday on "Inside the IIWF." So until tomorrow night, this is Tim Dross saying goodnight everyone! [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle. The two Alphabet Boys fans begin knocking their heads together. The credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+