[Fade up on a close-up of the glowing red eyes of Deathbringer. Music with a dark, racing, pulsing beat accompanies the scene as a voice is dubbed over:] VO: Former IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Deathbringer has waited in the wings for three weeks since being dethroned by Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven at Ring Wars II. [Cut to footage of Deathbringer standing in the ring having defused the riot at Ring Wars II:] DB: You did what you should not have done. You woke the beast within me. This beast slept for many centuries, but now it will return. It is your fault and you will pay the ultimate price. Look into my eyes... Crimson Death is dead... long live Black Death! [As Deathbringer kneels to the crowd, raising one arm, the soundtrack is dubbed again by the voice over:] VO: However, the new IIWF Champion's reign has been one of terror: [cut to footage of Verhoeven decimating Vinny Cappicola and Don Antonio] the Family were first to feel the iron fist of the Butcher; [cut to Verhoeven attacking Chris Quigley] "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley was put out of action by the Teutonic terror... but tonight, Verhoeven has to step back into the ring with Deathbringer. Tonight, Verhoeven will face Black Death. Can he survive? [The music reaches a climax, and the opening graphics fill the screen:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- + LiVE! + IIWF Coliseum + 2 November 1996 + [The graphics slide off the screen to reveal the interior of the jam-packed IIWF Coliseum. Almost twenty thousand people fill the arena. The camera pans down past row upon row of merchandise-bedecked and sign-waving fans, eventually coming to rest on the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure, at which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to another edition of IIWF Saturday Night! We are coming at you _live_ and loud from the IIWF Coliseum, and what a show we've got in store for you. I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: The privelege is all yours, Dross. Now, none of your meaningless drivel this week... let the "Soundbite" get down to business. Before we came on air tonight, two moronic prelim opponents, El Super Gecko, and "Nifty" Ned Norton, were wrestling each other in order to test out the broadcast equipment, and normally, such an untalented pairing attracts no attention whatsoever, but tonight was different. Let's go to some footage of what happened: [Cut El Super Gecko and "Nifty" Ned Norton in their warm-up match. Suddenly, "Thunderbolt Flash" Todd Franklin and "Blitz Lightning" Bobby Lincoln rush into the ring and totally destroy both prelim opponents. After the destruction, and setting the human javelin record by tossing both jobbers over the top rope into the crowd, they pick up the mic.] TF: HELLO, IIWF!!! I hope you're ready, because it's time WE TAKE OVER!!!! Now, let's go to our show, and here's our host, and your NEXT IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, and my tag team partner, "BLITZ LIGHTNING" BOBBY LINCOLN! [Crowd erupts in boos, but a good portion of the crowd gives a tremendous heel pop to the duo.] BL: SHUT UP!!! Listen up, IIWF losers, especially those two "lifestyle-disoriented, locker room banging, world-class crybabies" Dan Kauffman and "Queer-strike" Chris Quigley.....the Universal Powers have ARRIVED!!!! And do you know what that means? TF: It means that THIS FED is NOTHING! We are the only reason the IIWF is still in EXISTENCE! They went out and HAD to have the GREATEST tag team in the WORLD, and have one of them wrestle singles, since they don't push tag teams too well here. BL: You know... things here are like the FWLI. The two major face stars are either paying off, or giving the President BLOWJOBS!!!! How can you explain that awful push of theirs? Hmmmmmmm? Heck, if this Syndicate can buy Spreadbury, I think Kauffman and Quigley could pay him off with "other things," if you get my drift. TF: No wonder Spreadbury spends so much time in his office, getting rid of GREAT wrestlers, like "Showstopper" Simon Lebec, because Quigley and Kauffman can't take the heat... so they go like the crybabies that THEY ARE, and beg the President.....[Chris Quigley "whiny" voice on] "Get rid of him...WHY can't I win? I'm at your office every week, Mr. Patterson...er, Spreadbury. Why don't you just get rid of Lebec!!!" [whiny voice off] BL: It just goes to show you... if your President's that way inclined, all the faces get pushes, because of the faces giving him a push, if you get my drift. Next subject, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. Now, this loser quotes his great, great grandad......OH PLEASE! YOU KNOW THIS GUY'S A FRAUD! His name's really Billy Thompson, and HE'S A FAKE!!!!! TF: Who else is here, that we've heard of? Joe Latta. Now, this guy is a complete IDIOT!!!! His ol' boyfriend, Kauffman, brings him in, dumps him, so he sells out to the Syndicate. Not a bad thing to do, but the Syndicate kicked his a$$, so shows you where Latta's mind still wants....yup, you got it, KAUFFMAN! BL: Then there's this "White Phoenix" loser we saw in the now-defunct WIWF. Oh geez, you Oriental guys are all the same! Just another step in the ladder of the IIWF... and I think I'll break all those steps after I go to the next one. IIWF, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!! GET IN THE WAY OF THE UNIVERSAL POWERS, and "BLITZ LIGHTNING" BOBBY LINCOLN, and YOU'LL BE SENT TO THE HOSPITAL... ONE-WAY!!!! [El Super Gecko gets back into the ring, and Lincoln shoves Gecko off the apron. Gecko lands on the floor, after he crashes through the timekeeper's table and chairs. Lincoln and Franklin leave the room to almost deafening jeers and head back to the locker room, arrogantly laughing at the fans as they go.] TD: I'm not sure I'm going to like this "Blitz Lightning" Bobby Lincoln fellow. SR: Who cares whether you like him, Dross? He's here, and the Universal Powers are going to run roughshod over the IIWF. You'd better get used to the idea. TD: Well, apart from that unscheduled appearance, we've still got a tremendous show coming up here tonight, folks. Three of the IIWF's championships will be up for grabs; as you heard at the top of the show, Deathbringer finally has his rematch for Otto Verhoeven's World title. SR: And Verhoeven's going to bury him again tonight, just like he did at Ring Wars II. TD: With no Hardin to help him, I don't think it's going to happen, Steve. In any case, that's a fantastic main event. We'll also see Intercontinental Champion Tiger Claw face "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, and Rising Sun Revolution will defend their titles against Pain Inc. SR: Those two sushi-munching retards had better take one last look at those straps. They never deserved them in the first place, and tonight, they're going to go to a far worthier team! TD: Plus former tag champs, the Armed Forces, will be in action against Domination, and what an altercation Domination were in with Pain Inc. and Heavy Metal on Wednesday night. You've got to wonder whether Mr. Psycho and Monster will be at one hundred percent for tonight's match. SR: Pain Inc. and Heavy Metal sure did a number on Dumbination, but their "buddies", Rising Damp Devolution, just had to stick their noses in. TD: And it's just as well they did, Steve. We'll also be seeing the Players' Club, another new tag team here to the IIWF, making their debut. SR: From what I hear, they're friends of Kauffman -- so they're no friends of mine. TD: Plus the Subway Psycho will be in action, going up against another debutant, "Superstar" Stud Stetson. This is one arrogant individual, Steve. SR: Stetson may talk the talk, but he can certainly walk the walk too. And that woman of his, Lace... wow. TD: Try and keep your hormones in check, Steve. Finally, we'll also be seeing Marty Warnett battle Lord Byron. Those two have been at each other's throats for weeks now, and perhaps their encounter tonight will end their rivalry. SR: It'll end Warnett's career, that much is for sure. I can't wait to see Byron snap that Welsh wimp like a twig. TD: Well, we'll see about that, Steve. Plus, of course, Becky LaRue will be here in her Lair. But before we go up to the ring for tonight's opening encounter, let's just recap the action we've already seen before coming on air: - The man formerly known as the Archangel, LEGION, defeated MAGUS in the first match of the evening, pinning him following the Judgement Day Drop. I hear a rumour that we may very well have seen the last of Magus here in the IIWF, Steve. SR: Surely not. He hasn't wrestled El Super Gecko yet, Dross. TD: We'll see. Let's hear from Legion himself now. [SCENE: Legion sits in a golden throne surrounded by skulls.] L: Before I was the Archangel, I was Legion, the greatest warrior in the land. People question my sanity. I have merely gone back to my roots. My enemy Joe Latta has finally seen the light. That is what an encounter with the Dark Knights can do to you. The Syndicate wishes to take on the Sandman, and The Meat Beaver Herr Verhoeven wishes to test the mettle of an angry specter of death. Well, Herr Verhoeven, du wirst nach Himmel gehen. Legion will show the way. As for the Syndicate, wherever you lurk I will be there. Unlike an Archangel who is bound by morals, Legion has no inhibitions. Casey James, I'll see you in the ring. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: In other action: - THE WHITE PHOENIX defeated JUMPIN' JACK in quick time, finishing him off with the Phoenix Strike. This was Chow's first outing for some time in which Hakiro Matsuoko didn't interfere. One can only assume that the Syndicate has enough on its plate at the moment. - The HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS were also in action here tonight, decimating the one-off partnership of SCOTT "THE WHINE" BLOOM and the MASKED MARAUDER, hanging them out to dry after the Hang 'em High Clothesline. - The MAN OF STEEL got what can only be described as a mixed reaction as he made his first appearance since the shocking allegations made by Robski in midweek. Robski was nowhere to be seen tonight as Steel took apart EL POCO SEGUENTE. Bibbo attempted to get the crowd behind Steel, but it seems that at least some of Steel's fans feel that these latest revelations have irreperably damaged his reputation. For what it's worth, I still trust the Man Of Steel, Steve. SR: It isn't worth much, Dross. The Man In Tights is all washed up here in the IIWF. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Okay, folks, let's get up to the ring for tonight's opening encounter... hang on, I'm being informed that there seems to be somebody sitting in the rafters of the arena. Can we get a camera up there? [The camera swings up to the huge IIWF banners hanging from the rafters of the Coliseum. The shot zooms in, and two figures can be seen: one is male, and poised motionless like a vulture ready to strike; the other is female, and sits there relaxed, swinging her legs and looking down on the crowd. The man wears tights that are blue on the left and red on the right, and a sleeveless shirt that is red on the left and blue on the right. He also wears a polished steel "tragedy" mask. The woman wears a one-piece swimsuit, adorned in much the same fashion, but is wearing a "comedy" mask.] SR: What the...?! Is that Willy Pukespeare trying to show his date a good time? TD: No, no... I believe that is none other than the Harlequins, Tragedy and Comedy! SR: The _what_?! TD: Harlequin Tragedy is a highly-accomplished grappler, Steve. He's a former World Champion, and I can only assume that he's made it his business to come to the IIWF... In any case, security personnel are on their way up there to bring them down, and we'll keep you updated on the Harlequins throughout the broadcast. Now, however, we really must get up to the ring for tonight's first match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Players' Club vs. The Barnacle Brothers =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: I've heard a lot about the Players' Club, and I'm eager to see what they can do. SR: Hmpf... TD: Come on, Steve! These guys have accolades coming out of their ears. Their list of titles held reads like a "where's where" of wrestling! SR: Well, you and I both know that past title reigns don't mean much to the other people in the IIWF. Let's see what they can do _here._ Only the best can stand up in the IIWF. TD: Well, you've got that right. I'm confident that these guys will impress the crowd here in the Colesium tonight. Sparkplug's ready to introduce the teams... Let's get down to ringside. RA: Ladies and Gentlemen, this tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 525 lbs, the Barnacle Brothers! [The theme from "Popeye the Sailor Man" plays over the PA, and the two Popeye impersonators strut out into the aisle. They walk comically to ringside, trying to high five the fans. Unfortunately, the fans won't have anything to do with them. One of the Brothers strides up to the fan who is recognized as "Nifty" Ned Norton's fan club president and tries to shake his hand. The bald man looks at the Brother like he has two heads, and mouths the words, "Get the hell away from me, you freak."] SR: Well, at least that guy isn't _completely_ brain dead. TD: Hey... The Barnacle Brothers are ring veterans. Don't overlook them... SR: Dross, get real... That's like calling Iron Mike Sharpe a "wily ring tactician." I think we know who's going to win. TD: Well, okay... You're kind of right. RA: Their opponents, making their IIWF debuts, weighing in at 470lbs and led to the ring by "Sweet" Sara Simpson, here are "Desirable" Danny Dynamite, Michael "Maverick" Reyna, The Players' Club! [The crowd gives a good pop as the two Players' Club members come out at the head of the aisle. Dynamite is dressed in a long black robe, and strokes his goatee. Reyna wears a varsity style jacket over a black singlet. They both make their way to the ring, being led by Sara Simpson and showboating to the fans that line the aisle. The fans seem to like the team quite a bit.] TD: It looks like some of the fans here are familiar with this new IIWF team. I just hope they stick around for a while. A lot of people have been leaving recently. SR: And more mysteriously, many of the people who are gone had a match with El Super Gecko shortly before they left. TD: It is kind of scary... But you know the type of cagey mat expert El Super Gecko can be... SR: Quit it... TD: You know what they say, "You Can't Hurt The Lizard!" [The ref signals for the bell, and the match starts. Dynamite squares off against Barnacle Brother #1. The two lock up. Dynamite twists the arm of BB1, then hits a double leg trip, sending BB1 face first into the mat. He then quickly drops a leg over the back of BB1's head. Good pop. Dynamite drag BB1 to his feet, and throws him into the ropes. He executes a nice belly-to-belly suplex on the rebound, sending BB1 sailing through the air. The crowd gives a big pop as Dynamite shows off a bit. BB1 staggers to his feet, and Dynamite tags in Reyna. Reyna enters the ring, and catches BB1 with a clothesline. BB1 goes crashing down, and rolls into his corner to make the tag to Barnacle Brother 2. BB2 comes charging at Reyna, but is caught in a spinebuster and driven down. Big pop.] TD: Well, these guys are making a good showing here. SR: Let's be honest, though. Against the Barnacle Brothers, _you_ could make a good showing. TD: I don't know about that... I don't think I could endure their finishing manouevre... The Drunken Sea Shanty. [Reyna hits a vertical suplex, and then tags in his partner as he throws BB2 into the ropes. Dynamite climbs to the top rope. Reyna executes a tilt-a-whirl suplex on BB2, and a fraction of a second later, Dynamite crashes down with a leg drop. Dynamite goes for the cover as Reyna runs over and cracks BB1 in the head with a right hand... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Big pop!] TD: The Players club with a win here tonight! Quite an impressive debut. SR: Well, let's just see how they do against someone like Pain Inc. or the High Plains Drifters... TD: I think they'd do just fine. These guys are ex-champions in numerous federations around the world. You don't get those credentials unless you're good. SR: Then explain Chris Quigley. TD: Steve, I think Chris Quigley is a fine competitor. SR: Well, there's the difference between you and me. TD: There are plenty of differences between you and me, Steve. SR: Yeah, like I have hair. TD: Can we leave my hair out of this, please? [The fans give a good pop to the Player's Club as they celebrate in the ring with their valet. In the midst of celebrating the victory, Dynamite asks for the microphone. The crowd roars in approval, then quiets as DDD speaks...] DDD: THAT'S the WAY it's going to BE from NOW ON in the tag ranks of the IIWF! The Players' Club has arrived, and whether you like it or not, we are the BEST tag team in wrestling! [Reyna has gotten himself a mic as well.] MR: That's right. We know the IIWF is not an easy place to win... It's probably the TOUGHEST place to make a dent in! But that's why we're here! This is the proving ground, and we're about to _PROVE_ our superiority! [Big crowd roar, before DDD starts up again...] DDD: But... everybody knows that there's more to the story of the Players' Club. You see... When there's ONE member of the PC in an arena... [Crowd pop!] MR: That means there's TWO members of the PC in the arena as well! [Another huge crowd pop!] DDD: And when there's TWO members of the Players' Club around... There's a REAL GOOD CHANCE... That the THIRD is here as well! [Pop, as Dynamite spins his back towards the entrance and speaks away...] DDD: Well, wouldn't you know it... the Third one happens to be HERE!... [Dynamite spins around and points to the head of the aisle, where, decked in his PC wrestling outfit, Dan "Flash" Kauffman emerges, running down the aisle and sliding into the ring to a huge crowd pop!] DDD: What took you so long, Dan??? [Kauffman looks out into the crowd, gives a rare smile, then looks at Dynamite...] DK: Well, as if I had to say this, it REALLY hasn't been my month... But I think this brightens the scene a little more. Didn't you all WANT the Players' Club??? [The crowd screams "YES!!!"] DK: Well, now you've got it! [Crowd pop!] DDD: It all begins and ends with the Players' Club... and don't you EVER forget that! [Huge crowd pop as Dynamite, Reyna and the seemingly-rejuvenated Kauffman raise their hands in the air! They leave the ring and walk up the aisle together, slapping the hands of the excited fans as they go.] TD: Kauffman actually seems able to crack a smile for the first time in several weeks here in the IIWF! SR: It won't be a smile he's cracked when Cadaver gets his hands on him again. Does Kauffman really think that his two retarded friends will be able to help him against the Cadaver? What a moron! TD: Try to be nice, Steve. Well, folks, up next we're going to see more tag team action, but first, let's go to some comments from the manager of Pain Inc., Mr. Mic, whose team will be challenging Rising Sun Revolution later on tonight for the IIWF World Tag Team Championship: [Cut to pre-taped footage of Mr.Mic sitting down at ringside in the deserted IIWF Coliseum. He is dressed in his usual Armani suit. He is reading over a scouting report on Rising Sun Revolution. He turns to the camera.] Mr.Mic: Alright, who the hell sent you? Dross? Okay you wanna know what I'm doing? Strategy plain and simple, you see Rising Sun Retards you look at me and you see a guy who shoots his mouth off. Well you're right but you forgot a few things: One, I am a businessman, and a very good one at that. I have Pain Inc. prepared for tonight's match. If you feel strange just before the match, don't worry, IT'S FEAR!!! Fear that you could lose the titles right here tonight. [He gets up and starts walking towards the camera as it backs up] You see, RSR, you guys thinks you're invincible because Spreadbury _gave_ you those titles. Well, tonight here in the ring there is no President to save you. There is no Domination to help you because the Armed Forces will be watching them. I saw your interview yesterday. You think Pain Inc. and myself are even remotely afraid of you??? Think again. Our goal is simple: beat you two morons and become the IIWF tag team champions of the world... and we're gonna do it!!! Bring your attitude, bring your strength, bring your undefeated streak. IT WON'T BE ENOUGH TO STOP MORNINGSTAR AND HELLRAISER!!! [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Well, folks, Mr. Mic certainly seems determined that his team will be victorious, and Rising Sun Revolution have to be worried about the threat of having the Armed Forces down at ringside. And speaking of the Armed Forces, they're up next, battling eccentric newcomers, Domination. Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Armed Forces vs. Domination =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Former tag champs against relative newcomers. Who do you pick for this one? SR: Do you really need to ask? The Armed Forces, of course. The fans may love Domination, but the Forces have Aaron. TD: That's true, but the Forces have been having a slump ever since losing that belt. SR: Through no fault of their own... Oh, looks like Sparkplug's ready to get going... RA: Ladies and gnetlemen, this tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 620lbs; they are led to the ring by their manager, Mistress. They are Mr. Psycho, Monster, Domination! ["Countdown to Extinction" begins to play, and the trio make their way to the head of the aisle. The fans pop, and they raise their arms high in the air. Suddenly, NavCom and DefCon run out from the backstage area. Both members of the Armed Forces clothesline Domination, then engage in a slugfest. With the advantage of surprise on their side, the Armed Forces get the upper hand. NavCom throws Mr. Psycho into the crowd barrier, and DefCon slams Monster onto the concrete floor. Mistress looks on, but keeps back a bit. Thye crowd begins to boo louder as Pain Inc. make their way out to the brawl.] TD: Come on! It's bad enough that this fight never even got to the ring, but now there's more people getting involved? SR: Domination definitely made some enemies just by affiliating themselves with Rising Sun Revolution. [Pain Inc. join the Armed Forces in issuing a stiff beating to Domination. Domination attempts mounting an offense, but the number of men stomping on them keeps them down. The crowd's boos turn to cheers as the Alphabet Boys run into the melee and begin to lay a pounding on the Armed Forces. The ABoys ram their shoulders into the former champs, forcing them away from Domination. Abie and Zed take their fight closer to the ring with the Forces, utilizing the ring apron. Pain Inc. continues stomping on Monster and Mr. Psycho, but can't seem to keep the two men down. Domination fight to their feet, and with one last shot to Monster from Morningstar, Monster stares wildly at MS. MS holds his hands up and begins to backpedal. Monster howls into the air, and charges Morningstar. Mr. Psycho also gets the upper hand and leaps forward with a hopping clothesline. Meanwhile, closer to the ring, Abie grabs the ringsteps and throws them onto DefCon. He then grabs the bell and throws it on DefCon. Then he grabs a chair and cracks DefCon over the head with it. A group of officials stops him just as he grabs a monitor. Zed seems content choking NavCom with a power cord. A group of officials, joined by a rather large faction of the Jobber Justice Squad, separate Domination and Pain Inc. and keep the members of the ABoys and Armed Forces away from each other.] TD: I'm assuming that this one is going to be ruled a no contest. The match never even got underway. SR: I think you might be right. Although we got to see some beatings get handed out, which can only be a good thing. TD: You're the type of guy that just loves foreign objects, aren't you? SR: For sure... [The four teams involved in the brawl are separated and taken from the ringside area, but plenty of yelling between them can be heard, most notably Abie yelling "Fruit! I must have fruit!"] SR: What a freak. TD: I think they've got a problem with the Armed Forces. That could be bad for the former champs. SR: But you can never tell with those nutbars. They may just end up beating on each other. TD: Hang on, Steve... I understand there's a disturbance back in the locker rooms. There's a camera on the way to the scene... [Cut to a handheld camera making its way down a corridor in the bowels of the Coliseum. The shot approaches a corner, and shouts can be heard. A couple of objects fly past the camera as it turns the corner, and two figures can be seen brawling. After a few seconds, it becomes apparent that the figures are the Sandman and Tiger Claw. The Sandman whips Claw into a door, head first, sending him crashing through into a store room. The Sandman follows him through, and the camera approaches cautiously. Moments later, the Sandman is sent flying back out of the room, and he hits the opposite wall with some force. The camera is jostled as a security team dashes to the scene to break up the brawl, and the Sandman is dragged away from the scene as a furious Claw emerges from the store room. Cut back to ringside.] TD: I guess the Sandman wanted a little payback for the Syndicate jumping him on Wednesday night. SR: That's just like the Dark Knights to sneak attack somebody and attack them in a corridor. Dross, these guys are despicable. TD: You never cease to amaze me, Steve. Tiger Claw may not be in the best of shape for his title match later on tonight, when he'll have to face "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. SR: On his best day, Pukespeare couldn't beat Tiger Claw on his worst. The Syndicate will make sure of that. TD: Okay, folks, let's get back up to the ring for tonight's first championship match, as Rising Sun Revolution go up against Pain Inc. Let's get the introductions from Sparkplug Lee. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Rising Sun Revolution vs. Pain Inc. --------------------------------------- RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Jakarta, Indonesia, at a total combined weight of 585 lbs and led to the ring by Mr. Mic, here are Hellraiser and Morningstar, Pain Incorporated! [The lights dim, and two spotlights pick out Pain Inc. with Mr. Mic at the head of the aisle, the light reflecting off of their chainmail masks. Mr. Mic mouths off the various fans around him, and the two wrestlers just walk quietly to the ring.] TD: These guys are strictly business. SR: Well, they like to hurt people. Nothing else really makes them happy as much as inflicting pain. RA: Their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 570 lbs, are the IIWF World Tag Team Champions: Hiroshi "Daioni" Kasai, Ryudo "Tatsu" Kenjinata, Rising Sun Revolution! [The lights drop, and the crowd gives a huge pop. Flares and rockets begin to go off as the theme from "Bladerunner" begins to play. The tag champs appear at the head of the aisle, holding their belts aloft. They begin to walk the aisle, slapping the hands of the fans as they do.] TD: Never before have we had such worthy champions. SR: What about the High Plains Drifters? TD: It's my personal opinion that these guys carry those belts with a little more class. SR: Hey... Nothing says class like a dirty cowboy. TD: No, I'm sure nothing does. [As the two teams prepare to wrestle in the ring, there is a heel pop as the Armed Forces make their way back down the aisle. They stand like a human roadblock at the entrance to the ringside enclosure.] TD: What do those two guys want out here? SR: Pain Inc. have enlisted the help of the former champs to ensure they get a fair crack of the whip here tonight. TD: Why would the Armed Forces want Pain Inc. to win the titles? SR: I would guess that Pain Inc. have promised the Forces the first shot after they win the belts. TD: And the Forces believed them?! Boy, they must be even dumber than they look. SR: I'll tell Aaron you said that, Dross. He might want to take you down to the driving range and practice his swing on you. TD: Er, no thanks, Steve. Let's get to the action. [The bell rings, and Ryudo squares off against Hellraiser. HR points at Ryudo, and draws a figer across his neck. Ryudo laughs it off, and the two lock up. Ryudo gets the upper hand and executes an armdrag takedown. HR leaps back to his feet, and charges Ryudo, who counters with a hip toss. Again, HR leaps back up, and Ryudo executes a rana, and punches HR a few times afterwards. Big pop. Ryudo closes in to capitalize on HR's position, but gets a thumb to the throat. Ryudo stumbles back, holding his throat, and HR rushes in with a clothesline. Ryudo goes down, and HR drags him up and into his corner. HR tags in MS, who climbs to the top rope and lays a double axehandle into the side of Ryudo that HR is holding open. MS lifts Ryudo up in a spinebuster, and slams him down. MS goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Ryudo. MS drags Ryudo up again and presses Ryudo over his head. The crowd boos as MS holds Ryudo up there for a moment, then drops him to the mat.] TD: Pain Inc. are using their power advantage to gain the upper hand here... SR: Ryudo isn't exactly the powerhouse of the team, either. He's at a disadvantage going toe to toe with these guys. He needs to do some of that flippy stuff, and I guarantee that Pain Inc. will keep that from happening. [MS drives his boot into Ryudo's back a few times, then drags him to his feet. He throws Ryudo into the ropes, and goes for a thrust kick on the rebound, but Ryudo grabs the ropes. MS quickly compensates and clotheslines Ryudo out of the ring just as he's trying to tag in Hiroshi. Ryudo falls over the ropes, and hits the floor kind of hard. Mr. Mic kicks the champ a few times, getting a heel pop from the crowd. MS exits the ring and drags Ryudo closer to his own corner. MS slams Ryudo onto the concrete floor, then goes for a leg drop. Ryudo moves out of the way and pulls himself into the ring. The crowd pops as Ryudo struggles over to the corner to tag Hiroshi. MS staggers to his feet on the outside, and HR quickly enters the ring and stomps on Ryudo's head, then throws him to the opposite corner. HR leaves the ring, but Hiroshi runs in after him. The ref holds back Hiroshi as MS gets back into the ring. HR locks a choke on Ryudo, and MS drives shot after shot into Ryudo's midsection.] TD: Blatant double teaming! SR: And it's all Hiroshi's fault. I can't believe people still fall for this trick. [MS drives a shoulder into Ryudo's stomach, then pulls him out of the corner. MS powerbombs Ryudo, then goes for the cover. 1 - 2 - Ryudo just barely kicks out. MS tags in HR. MS holds Ryudo's legs down, and HR climbs the ropes. He comes off with a flying elbow drop, then goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Ryudo. HR drags Ryudo to his feet and throws him into the corner, then follows in with a clothesline. Ryudo manages to move out of the way, and HR hits his head on the ringpost. Ryudo falls to his knees and begins to crawl to his corner. HR makes his way to his own corner as well. HR makes the tag, and MS rushes over to Ryudo, who makes the last leap to tag in Hiroshi. Huge pop! Hiroshi comes in full of energy, and punches MS to the ground. HR rushes is to attack, but is also knocked down by Hiroshi. HR rolls out of the ring, and Hiroshi throws MS into the ropes. Hiroshi executes a high impact spinning powerslam on the rebound, and the crowd is on their feet. Hiroshi yells to the crowd, who give him a yell back. Hiroshi drags MS up again, and lifts him up in vertical suplex position.] TD: This could be the powerdriver. If he hits this, it's over! SR: I don't think so... Here comes Hellraiser! [Hellraiser rolls into the ring and chop blocks Hiroshi's knee. Hiroshi falls back, and in effect just suplexes MS. The ref tries to get some semblance of order in the ring, but all four men begin to slug it out. HR takes it to Hiroshi, and Ryudo drops a leg on MS. Ryudo goes over to help his partner, but is hit in the head by a foreign object weilded by Mr. Mic, who has jumped on the apron. The crowd pops as Domination run down to the ring. They are initially intercepted by the Armed Forces, but Mr. Psycho manages to distract them sufficiently for Monster to run to the ring and remove Mr. Mic from the apron. He roars at the manager, and Mr. Mic runs up the aisle, ignoring the laughs of the fans. Ryudo rolls out of the ring, and so does MS. HR stands over the ropes to yell at Domination, and Hiroshi creeps up behind him. Hiroshi executes a German Suplex with a nice bridge, and the ref counts the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! A shocked HR jumps to his feet.] TD: RSR did it! Even with all the double teaming, they still pulled out the win! SR: That was a load of crap... Once again, Domination sticks their nose in the business of someone else. [RSR make their way back up the aisle with Domination, holding the belts in the air and celebrating. Pain Inc. yell abuse at the Armed Forces from the ring, lamenting their loss.] TD: Pain Inc. is upset, Steve. SR: So am I. I'm tired of Domination helping RSR keep those belts. Pain Inc. should be the champs tonight! TD: I'm not sure that the Forces are too keen on taking the blame for Pain Inc.'s loss here, Steve... [NavCom and DefCon approach Pain Inc. and begin shouting back at them. MS and HR drop from the ring, and a shoving match between the two teams breaks out. Aaron the Caddie hurries down to the ring to keep NavCom and DefCon from attacking Pain Inc., and the situation is defused. Aaron drags his team back to the locker room, and Pain Inc. follow, clearly very annoyed.] TD: We might have seen the end of any cooperation between the Armed Forces and Pain Inc. there, Steve. SR: If those teams don't stop squabbling among themselves, they can never expect to end the undefeated streak of those Rising Sun Retards. TD: Let's go up to the rafters to see what the Harlequins are up to. [Cut to the rafters of the Coliseum, where Harlequin Tragedy is still poised like a bird of prey waiting to strike. Harlequin Comedy is eating popcorn, still swinging her legs relaxedly. Cut back to the announcers' table.] SR: What do those two want here, anyway, Dross? TD: Well, they've certainly got the best seats in the house for the matches tonight. I just hope they don't get hit by any wayward fireworks. Okay, folks, it's time for our next match. Marty Warnett and Lord Byron haven't been on the best of terms since Byron arrived in the IIWF a few weeks ago. Tonight, they're going to get it on, one on one. However, before we go up to the ring, let's just recap on the very interesting video tape sent to the IIWF by Warnett this past week. The tape alleges that Lord Byron isn't actually as noble as he might seem. Larry Morton was backstage earlier tonight to get Byron's reaction: [Cut to Larry Morton backstage.] LM: I've just been informed that Lord Byron and the Lady DeWinter have arrived in the building, and have asked me to come to their room for some comments..... I can't imagine what Byron's response to the tape will be... SR: I bet he's furious. Warnett really should know better... TD: It will be interesting to hear what he has to say... [Larry knocks on Byron's dressing room door, and it is opened by DeWinter, dressed in a stunning gold and black Versace dress, and she invites him in. Byron is warming up, dressed in his wrestling attire. He looks up, and surprises everyone by having a grin on his face.] Byron: Ah, Mr. Morton. [chuckle] Do come in. LM: You seem fairly pleased with yourself, considering the circumstances. Byron: The circumstances? [chuckle] Ah YES! The tape!! Of course! LM: Mr. Byron, you don't seem to be too bothered with the evidence that Warnett has produced. Byron: [now laughing out loud] Bothered? Why should I be bothered? My dear man, I was born in France!! SR: Hah! Warnett must be feeling like a prize idiot now!! Byron: My parents never even lived in Lancashire! They lived in Toulouse, France! For 11 YEARS before, during and after I was born! Both were English, and when they died I sold the French estate and moved to England, where I had been educated! [chuckle] Mr. Warnett, you've got the wrong man!! SR: Haha! So Warnett's been spending his money globetrotting for nothing! LM: So... you are completely refuting Warnett's claims? This won't affect your match-up? Byron: [calming down slightly] Not unless I die laughing! But you see, Mr. Morton, that is something the young pup obviously forgot to take into account. Even if this tall tale was true, it would have no effect on my match performance. [Byron's voice picks up a hint of sarcasm] You see, Mr. Morton, I am what is called a professional. I realise you may have never heard of that word before, so I'll explain it in layman's terms for you. It means concentrating on the task at hand and getting the job done. And the job that I am concentrating on at the moment, is giving Mr. Warnett a severely professional thrashing. LM: So then, Byron. You are claiming this is pure fantasy? Byron: [a thoughtful look on his face] You know, I'm not so sure. I mean, it MAY be fantasy, or an elaborate hoax, but..... I'm really not too sure. LM: What do you mean? Byron: It may simply be a case of mistaken identity. You see, Mr. Morton, [sneer] I am not the only noble here in the IIWF, am I? There is a certain [a look of distate flashes across Byron's face] other young blueblood here in the IIWF whose family's estate includes a number of mansions around Britian... SR: Oh, this just gets better and better... Byron: And if I were Robski, I may just start checking my family history. After all, a man with the manners of a pig may be the result of a pig's genes... [Byron bursts out laughing again] If you'll excuse me, Mr. Morton, I really must finish preparing for my match. Postlethwaite! [chuckle] This is going to be one for the dinner parties, all right....ciao. LM [looking bewildered]: I guess it's back to you, Tim. [Cut back to the ring.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Marty Warnett vs. Lord Byron -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: These two athletes are quickly building up a history, and neither one is particularly happy with the other, to say the least. SR: It's funny you should say history Dross, because that's what Warnett is gonna be after this match... HISTORY! [laughs] TD: [sighs] RA: This contest is scheduled for one fall, with a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the lovely Lady DeWinter, hailing from Lancashire, England, weighing 275 pounds, here is LORD BYRON! [The fans greet him with a fair sized heel pop, as he walks down, arm in arm with DeWinter, basically ignoring the masses, as Intermezzo from Karelia Suite plays on the PA.] SR: This man is going to get revenge on Warnett for his little game of tonsil hockey with Lady DeWinter last week! TD: At least Warnett shows affection to her. Byron treats her like garbage, as far as I've seen, Steve. SR: That's the way you're supposed to handle chicks, Dross. Let 'em know who's boss! TD: Uh... I don't think so, Steve. RA: And his opponent: from Cardiff, Wales, UK, weighing 245 pounds... here is... Marty Warnett!!! ["Cold Gin" starts up as Warnett runs down the aisle, with a big smile on his face, carrying a rose, as the fans respond with a huge face pop.] SR: What's Warnett trying to pull? What's with the rose? [Warnett walks over to Lady DeWinter and offers her the rose, as a peace offering for last week's fiasco, but as he hands her the rose, Byron jumps down behind him and cracks him with that brass topped cane, sending Warnett sprawling to the floor.] TD: Oh no! Byron nailed him with the cane! Warnett is in trouble before the bell even rings! [The bell finally sounds, as Byron throws a groggy Warnett into the ring, removes his extra attire and rolls back in the ring himself, quickly grabbing Warnett's right leg and hooking in a kneelock. Warnett fights off the pain of the hold, and Byron releases the kneelock and grabs him in a headlock instead, still keeping him on the mat.] TD: Warnett is beginning to get frustrated, I think... he wants to get up and move around quickly! SR: The only thing that's gonna happen quick is Warnett being pinned! [Byron picks up Warnett and throws him to the ropes, Warnett comes back and is met with a hard elbow to the jaw that sends him down to the mat hard. Byron grabs his arm and locks on a chicken wing. Warnett kicks his feet down on the mat in protest. Warnett reaches for the ropes, but he can't reach them. After a little over a minute, Byron releases the hold again, as Warnett lays on the mat, holding his shoulder in pain. Byron grabs him by the hair and guides him back to his feet, and then slams him back down with a DDT! Big heel pop!] SR: It could be over right now, Dross! That DDT is brutal! TD: Warnett is a fighter, Steve... he has something left. [Byron slaps a reverse chinlock on the near unconscious Warnett, nearly snapping his neck, before Warnett snatches the middle rope to break the hold. Byron lets go and Warnett gives a backwards kick to his knee, sending Byron back a step, shaking the kink out of his knee. Warnett backs up and sends Byron down with a dropkick! Byron gets back to his feet and is floored with another dropkick! Warnett goes to the top rope and waits for Byron to get to his feet. As he does, Warnett flies off with a flying axehandle that sends Byron down yet again. Warnett works the crowd as they respond with a big face pop, while Byron slams the mat in frustration as he gets back to his feet.] TD: Now it is Byron who is frustrated by Warnett's lightning quick pace! SR: Ground him, Byron! [Byron charges at Warnett, who reacts quickly, taking him down with a hiptoss, and he wrenches on the arm for a bit, before smacking him with a kneedrop and going to the top rope. Byron staggers to his feet as Warnett comes off with a moonsault! Big face pop as the ref registers the count... 1 - 2 - and Byron somehow kicks out! Warnett thinks he got the 3 count and is arguing with the referee... meanwhile DeWinter throws Byron the cane! Warnett gives up on the referre and walks over to the corner, where Byron is now seated. Warnett ducks down to pick Byron up, and gets the end of the cane straight to his throat for his trouble. Warnett clutches his throat and staggers around, as Byron tosses the cane out of the ring, and then comes from behind with an enzuigiri which knocks Warnett flat. A pin by Byron - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Heel pop!] RA: The winner of this match, as the result of a pinfall... LORD BYRON! [Fans give a big heel pop as Byron kicks Warnett a few times and then walks to the back. Warnett finally gets to his feet and also walks to the back, holding his throat and coughing, while the fans boo the decision.] TD: Marty Warnett was robbed that time, Steve! SR: Warnett was beaten, fair and square! That was a perfectly legal Greco-Roman cane smash! TD: You are just too much, you know that? SR: Aren't I, though? TD: Okay, folks, it's time for tonight's edition of LaRue's Lair. Becky's guest this week is none other than the Antipodean athlete with an attidude, Mr. Damage. [Becky reclines. She snaps her fingers, and an unamused Mr. Damage enters to his theme music. He sits uncomfortably in the chair provided, which is obviously too small. Becky acts nonchalant for a while, ignoring him. It suddenly dawns on her to recognize his existence.] BL: Mr. Damage, can I just call you Damage? MD: You may call me "sir". BL: Mr. Damage... what's your first name? MD: I was born as Aloysius Paul Williams but I had it changed to Brian Damage at age 12. My nutty mother wanted to call me Jesus Christ but my father talked her around as she was no Virgin. She died when I was 12 and my father had my name changed the very next day. I have a sister called Moon Patrol after the computer game! BL: There's a family tree you don't want to shake. Now ever since I knew you were joining me, I've been thinking about only one thing: The "Guns of Navarone". May I touch them? MD: Mrs. Damage might get jealous but I suppose you can. The Guns of Navarone are my best weapons. They've destroyed many a wrestling career with their brute force and furious abandon... actually, no, don't touch what you can't afford. [He pops a bicep for an appreciative crowd] BL: Two words: Dan Kauffman. MD: Kauffman is as inept a wrestler as Morton is a commentator. I know someone wants Kauffman out of the IIWF so much they're willing to part with big dollars. They say money can't buy you happiness, but give me a million bucks and watch me smile! Personally I don't like Kauffman much, either. I think the world would be a better place without him. I see Kauffman as a World Champion contender. If I can dispose of that maggot I will definitely go into title contention. I see him as stepping stone to the top. BL: Hmmm. Now who would have a million dollars to throw around? Seems to me that President Spreadbury is the only one making that kind of cash. Oh well, just idle speculation. Now then, you're one of the many international stars in the IIWF. As an ambassador, what should the pre-pubescents in the audience fear most about Australians? MD: Becky, I like your choice of words... our craftiness. Australians always have the finger on the pulse. We invented so many worldly items; for example, the refridgerator, and are renowned soldiers in the world wars for our courage and craftiness. We are not a nation of convicts. BL: On the subject of fear, you've shown us why the other wrestlers are justifiably scared of you. But how do you feel about the posturing, boasting and threats made by the New Jersey Nightmare, Steve "The Fury" Kowalski? MD: Who?! He must be a jobber or something. My guess is we will meet in the ring sooner or later. But he won't have the guts to take me on... he'll probably wimp out or ask for mercy in the ring. If he does take me on, he is one dumb son of a bitch. When I wrestle I wrestle by my rules. He has something to prove to the IIWF but if he steps in the ring with me, he will get a wrestling education. I will prove to Kowalski that he can't mix it up in the big leagues of wrestling. He can go back to New Jersey and wrestle 80 year-old ladies in their homes, just like he was doing previous to the IIWF. Honestly I don't know how the IIWF finds some of these idiots to put up against me. But I take everyone at their merits, find a weakness, and go to work on it. Thats how I put these peasants in hospital. BL: Those of us who know wrestling know you can't be denied, but how do you feel about your virtual ignoral by the fans? MD: Those ignorant morons wouldn't know if they were Arthur or Martha but quite frankly I don't really care. I have some fans who I get letters from but they are morons as well. The girls that write just want to do this and do that. I'm sick of getting soiled panties in the mail, I'm not really interested in that kind of stuff like Warnett is. Whenever he gets panties in the mail you don't see him for 3 days. He probably wears them. BL: You're doing well as a hit man. Any big assignments in the future? MD: I have, but my employers' confidence prevents me from discussing future assignments. But one assignment is to get the GOLD around the waist of one Mr. Damage! BL: Just for curiosity, how much would it cost me to rub out... say... for example... Larry Morton? MD: That, Becky, I would do for free. Morton's been asking for it for a while now. I don't mix business with pleasure. BL: I'd really like your opinion on this dress I'm wearing tonight. MD: The dress you're wearing is fantastic, it's just that you're wearing way too much eye makeup and it makes you look like Marty Warnett! BL: If you were to tag with someone, who would it be? MD: A clone of me. I don't know if I could trust anyone. People look at me funny when I talk to myself, but it's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation. But in the IIWF there is one man I know I can trust.... The Hangman I know I can trust. BL: Imagine you're about to drop the "Thunderstruck" on an opponent. In a perfect world, who would that be? MD: It would be a double Thunderstruck legdrop on the Welsh Indignatary Marty Warnett and Dan Kauffman. I haven't had a chance to drop the Thunderstruck on two opponents yet in the IIWF... we'll wait and see. BL: What can I say, fans? I _really_ like this guy. Ooops, they're saying I'm running long... any last words? MD: I sure do.... Kauffman, I don't know who won at Midweek Mayhem the other night. Whether it was you or me or a draw, I don't give a rat's @$$. I'm going to climb into the squared circle with you again. There will be a decided winner. That will be ME! I demand a rematch. Kauffman, if you want a stipulation in this match you got it, your choice. Here's a few ideas: how about a Barbed Wire Cricket Bat Match, Singapore Cane match, or a plain and simple Electrified Exploding Cage match. Kauffman, the man I'm working for wants you dead, but I talked him down to permanently injure you and end your career, and that's just what I'm going to do! The END of KAUFFMAN is NIGH! Kauffman, I'm willing to do a lot for my employer. I'm ready to bleed... are YOU? BL: Well, there's a graphic thought. Any opinion on who should I interview next week? MD: I would love to hear what Kauffman has to say in response to that. BL: We shall see. Will the eloquent Dan Kauffman be my next guest? Or is he too afraid of Cadaver to leave his home? Tune in next week. And if you haven't bought your Becky LaRue fan package, there's still time. But better hurry, I know Larry Morton has been buying as many as he can and hanging my gorgeous 8x10 glossies all over his bedroom. Back to you, Steve, and your little friend. [Cut back to the announcers' table as Mr. Damage raises his arms to the crowd and heads back to the locker room.] TD: Little friend?! Gee, thanks, Becky. Well, that's a whole new side to Mr. Damage we've just seen. He could go on to big things here in the IIWF. SR: He's one of the most underrated competitors in the IIWF, Dross. And that's no surprise when there are such idiots working in the front office. TD: Another IIWF superstar who's not too happy with the front office is the Subway Psycho, and he'll be in action in just a few moments against another newcomer to the IIWF, "Superstar" Stud Stetson. Let's go to some prerecorded comments from Stetson now: [SCENE: A dark deserted subway station which is extremely littered with trash which is being blown around by the gusty wind. All is silent, except for the blowing wind, until the train suddenly rushes by. The camera then focuses on the track and the dark lonely tunnel. Then a figure emerges from the tunnel which, after close inspection, is revealed to be "Superstar" Stud Stetson. He is wearing a leather jacket, with a tank top underneath and ripped blue jeans. He is also carrying an aluminium bat.] SS: Lately the Subway Psycho has been a speeding train, running over the competition. But come this Sauturday he will run right into a wall. Destroying all momentum he has gained. You see, Sewer Rat, that is the night I finally grace the IIWF with my debut and you are going to be my first victim on my road to Superstardom. Your worst mistake will be seeing me as a stepping stone to the World Title becasue that I am not. I am a snag on the track that causes that devastating crash. Psycho, you are nothing but a lowlife. You are the same scum that I pick fights with and pound on a Friday night when I want something to do. Comparing you to me is like comparing ice cream to %@^#. [Stetson smiles] I bet you were hoping I wouldn't say that but IIWF, you are going to learn I do whatever the %*&$ I want! Anyway, back to this glorified New York city Slum Bum. You speak of the tough streets and the way society has treated you. Buddy, I was raised on the tough streets which earned me the status of being a Superstar. I have beaten the biggest and the baddest. Of course I am as bad as they get. [Stetson jumps from the track onto the Subway Station.] SS: You unfortunately must be the first "student" to learn what a real Superstar is. Be prepared to be beaten back to this miserable slum you call a home. [Stetson looks around the station and then turns back to the camera.] SS: You say you don't have a real name, that Subway Psycho is the only moniker you have ever had. I would gladly give you another. After I beat you, you will now on be known as "Street Trash" because that is all you are ever going to be. Oh, and Psycho, let me say that not only will I make a fool out of you, but my manager will make your slut look like mince meat. They don't get any better than Lace while your woman, much like you, is a dime a dozen. Actaully I stand corrected, you aren't a dime a dozen, you are one of a kind. No one gets any worse or uglier then you and Mistress Sasha, who is awfully pitiful if she hangs with a homeless beggar like you. There will be a lot of tears tommorrow night after I humilate in front of all your stupid pathetic fans, after they realize that I am the only Superstar of wrestling. [Stetson then takes his bat and begins to smash it against a newsstand. After it is in shambles he turns back to the camera.] SS: After Subway is nothing more then a memory, I will continue my journey to the top with the likes of Dan Kauffman, Chris Quigley, Deathbringer and Billy Shakesspeare. Mr. Kauffman, if we meet I will prove you are a flash.... A flash in the pan. If you think the nightmares you have now are bad just wait until I am done whipping your @$$. And little Billy, there is only one man who deserves the "Spotlight" and that is yours truly. When you face me, that will be the greatest tragedy of all time. [Stetson then drops his bat and glares seriously at the camera.] SS: But first things first, Subway, tommorrow night be prepared for a Superstar Attack. You will be the first to realize why I am the one and only man that can lead the IIWF to the next millenium. Subway you will realize along with the rest that when it comes to Superstars I put everyone to shame. [Stetson then picks back up his bat and gives a wicked smile to the camera. He lifts up his bat and charges towards the screen. All goes fuzzy and then eventually black.] TD: Something is going to have to be done about all this damage to IIWF equipment... SR: Stetson will do a whole lot more damage to the Subway Stinker, Dross. TD: We'll see about that. Let's get back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Subway Psycho vs. "Superstar" Stud Stetson -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: We see a newcomer battle a top veteran of the IIWF now, as Stud Stetson takes on the Subway Psycho! SR: Stetson is gonna make Psycho look like Louie the Ninja all over again, Dross! RA: This match is scheduled for one fall with a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first, making his IIWF debut, accompanied by Lace... originating from Everyone's Deepest Desires, weighing 285 pounds... here is "Superstar" Stud Stetson!! [Fans welcome this newcomer to the IIWF with a fair sized heel pop as the duo walk arm in arm down the aisle, jawing at a few fans before entering the ring, while "Rain Will Fall" blares over the PA.] SR: I like the looks of this guy, Dross! TD: I hear he's got quite a reputation for getting suspended from other organizations. Let's hope he behaves himself here. RA: And his opponent, led to the ring by Mistress Sasha, from the subways of New York City, weighing in at 255 pounds, here is the "People's Champion"... here is the one and only... Subway Psycho! [The crowd gives a massive face pop as "Crazy Train" starts up and the two walk down the aisle in almost complete darkness. A few lighters are seen in the sea of fans.] TD: This man may be the best wrestler in the entire IIWF! SR: What about your buddies Dan Kauffman... or Chris Quigley... or Deathbringer? TD: Uh... well... there are _many_ great stars in the IIWF. Let's leave it at that. SR: Coward. [The bell sounds and the two men meet in the center of the ring. They begin pummelling each other right away! Stetson whips Subway to the ropes but puts his head down too quick and gets a boot to the face for it. Subway with a European uppercut, and sends Stetson hard into the corner, charging in after him with a running clothesline! Stetson staggers into the center of the ring, and falls to his knees, as Subway starts pummelling him in the back with vicious forearms.] TD: Stetson made a rookie mistake there, and he paid for it with that big boot to the face! SR: He'll rebound! This kid is great! Trust me... [Subway picks him up and locks on an abdominal stretch, which Steston fights off and breaks. Stetson ducks a right hand from Subway Psycho and whips him to the ropes and nails him with a knee to the midsection, which flips Subway over onto his back. Stetson drops an elbow on him and slaps his face a few times. Major heel pop!] TD: The fans do _not_ like this individual already! SR: Who gives a damn what the fans think, Dross? Most of them didn't even dress themselves this morning! The few that know how to do that, just plain forgot to put on clothes all together! [Stetson picks up Subway and bodyslams him back down and now goes outside to the top rope! He soars off the turnbuckle with a flying kneedrop that rocks Subway's world! Stetson works the crowd a little to a big heel pop. Stetson brings Subway to his feet and slams him with a kneebreaker, then a Russian leg sweep, and Subway is down! Stetson grabs him and locks on a Boston crab and Subway is in terrific pain!] TD: Can Subway escape from... wait a minute! What's Nurse Heidi doing down here?! SR: [whistles at Heidi] [Heidi comes from behind Sasha and lays a kick to her back, sending her down, while the helpless Subway is forced to watch while the beating continues, with Heidi laying stomps and kicks on Sasha. Heidi keeps a wary eye on Subway's progress towards the ropes, while she kicks, and finally Subway reaches the bottom rope. Stetson backs off, and Heidi starts to run back down the aisle, and Subway leaps out of the ring and runs after her!] TD: This may cost him the match! He's forgetting about Stetson!! SR: I always knew this guy was a moron, Dross! [Subway chases after Heidi until Verhoeven pops out at the end of the aisle and mows him down with a clothesline. Butcher picks Subway up and chokeslams him on the concrete!! He lays the boots to Subway as the crowd looks frantically to see if someone will help... and then out comes Deathbringer! HUGE face pop as Deathbringer smacks into Verhoeven with a running forearm, knocking "The Butcher" to one knee, as the IIWF security team comes out and separates the two men. The officials persuade Heidi and Verhoeven to the back, as the staff and Deathbringer help Subway Psycho up and walk him back to the locker room... meanwhile Stud Stetson stands with his hands raised and a smile on his face.] RA: The winner of this match as the result of a countout: "Superstar" Stud Stetson!! [The crowd gives a big heel pop as Stetson and Lace walk back down the aisle, with thier arms raised high.] TD: Stetson really didn't earn his win tonight. Thanks to Otto Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi, the Subway Psycho got counted out. SR: He did too earn it, Dross! He was doing very well for himself! TD: That's true... but could he have pinned Subway Psycho? That will remain unanswered for now. The official is helping Sasha to the back... let's hope she's not seriously injured. [Cut to the rafters of the Coliseum. The Harlequins are still there, Tragedy remaining motionless in his dramatic pose. Now, however, Comedy has her head on his shoulder, and is making googy eyes at him.] TD: Just how are those two going to get down from there, Steve? SR: I'm more interested in how they got _up_ there, Dross. TD: Well, we don't have time to ponder that little mystery, folks, because it's time for the second of tonight's championship matches, as Tiger Claw defends his IC belt against "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare --------------------------------------------- [Lisa points out that Sparkplug Lee has a bogey hanging from his nose. Sparkplug quickly pulls out his handkerchief and removes the offending mucus.] RA: [clears his throat] Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship! Introducing first, hailing from Ashland, Oregon, and weighing in at 230lbs, here is "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [Huge pop as "Little Willie" kicks in over the PA. Shakespeare appears at the head of the aisle, stepping into the single spotlight that illuminates the walkway. He bows deeply to the cheering crowd. Tragi-comedy masks are cast onto the aisle by other lights as Billy walks to the ring. He hi-fives the fans as he goes.] TD: It was only two weeks ago that Billy Shakespeare was defeated by "Badboy" Randy Acorn for the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship, thanks to "Painbringer" Billy Sexton. Then last week he attacked Tiger Claw backstage to prevent Billy Sexton getting his shot at the Intercontinental title, and now he's going up against Claw himself. SR: Shakespeare doesn't deserve this shot, Dross. If all challengers need to do is beat up the champion in an unprovoked attack, there's something very wrong with the IIWF's Championship Committee. RA: And introducing his opponent: accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, hailing from Thailand, and weighing in at 220 lbs, here is the IIWF Intercontinental Champion: Tiiiggggeeeeer Clllaaaaaaww! [Big heel pop as the chaotic Thai drum music which accompanies Claw's entrance blares out over the PA. Lau leads Claw down to the ring, his belt glinting in the glare of the spotlights. The crowd jeer the duo as they walk the aisle.] SR: The fortunes of the Syndicate have turned around now, Dross. They've put that wimp Latta in the hospital, and now they can get back to doing what they do best: kicking ass! TD: We'll see about that. Billy Shakespeare and Tiger Claw have had their battles in the past, but Shakespeare's never had a shot at the Intercontinental Championship. I have a feeling that he's going to be one hundred and ten percent focused on taking that belt here tonight. SR: He'd better be looking over his shoulder, Dross, because "Painbringer" Billy Sexton is sure to have something to say about that. [Claw gives his belt to the referee, and squares up with Shakespeare. The two have a face-off in the centre of the ring, and Claw spits in Billy's face. Heel pop! Shakespeare steps backwards, shocked, and Claw levels him with a huge roundhouse kick. Shakespeare gets to his feet, but he is stunned sufficiently for Claw to cinch his head and work on his body with his punching fury. Shakespeare tumbles through the ropes to the outside, and the referee attempts to hold Claw back to allow Billy time to recover. However, behind the official's back, Brian Lau walks round to the downed Shakespeare and puts the boots in. Big heel pop! When the referee turns, Lau protests his innocence.] TD: Lau is setting the tone of this one early on. It seems clear that the Syndicate have a game plan here, and that's to take out Shakespeare as quickly as possible. [Shakespeare finally drags himself to his feet, and climbs to the ring apron. He is suplexed back into the ring by Claw, who goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Claw drags Shakespeare to his feet and whips him into the corner, and then charges in with an attempted flying spinning leg kick. Shakespeare dodges out of the way, and Claw careers into the buckle leg first, tumbling awkwardly to the mat. Big pop! Shakespeare lies on the canvas, his chest heaving, trying to shake off the effects of the assault. He pulls himself to his feet just as Claw is beginning to stir, and he props Claw up in the corner, hitting him with a volley of reverse knife-edge chops, then snaps his head back with a few European uppercuts, before whipping him across the ring to the opposite corner. Claw hits the opposite buckles with great force, shaking the ring. Big pop! Claw slumps backwards into the ring, and Shakespeare comes off the ropes with a vertical splash. He makes the cover - ] TD: Shakespeare's got him! One! Two! Thr... No! Claw kicks out on two! Boy, that was close. SR: Don't get so excited, Dross. Your wig will come off. TD: Can we leave my hair out of this, please?! SR: I will if you will, Dross. [Shakespeare drags Claw to his feet and whips him into the ropes, hitting him with an elbow to the jaw as he comes back on the rebound. Claw goes down hard, and Shakespeare points up into the rafters. The crowd give a big pop. Shakespeare goes to the outside, and climbs to the top rope. However, at that moment, "Painbringer" Billy Sexton runs down to the ring, and the referee is distracted by his arrival. Behind the official's back, Lau shakes the top rope, and Shakespeare tumbles onto the top turnbuckle, his back to the ring. Big heel pop! The referee orders Sexton away from the ring, but the "Painbringer" raises his hands as if to say that he only wants to watch, and stands at the bottom of the aisle. The referee finally turns back to the ring to see Claw climbing up onto the buckles behind Shakespeare, and attempting a superplex into the ring. However, as the two athletes fly through the air, Shakespeare shifts his weight and lands on top of Claw! He makes the cover - 1 - 2 -- kickout by the narrowest of margins! Both men are laid out in the ring, and the referee lays the count on them.] TD: This match is really taking its toll on these two athletes. I'm amazed that Claw is still in this thing, given the attack on him earlier tonight by the Sandman... SR: That's why he's the Intercontinental Champion, Dross, because he can take a licking and keep on ticking. Nobody can outlast Tiger Claw in the ring. [There is suddenly a big pop!] TD: Hey, it's the Family! The Don and Vinny are coming down to ringside! SR: I thought Verhoeven had put them out of action for good! I guess that was just wishful thinking... TD: The Family are going after Sexton... I guess the Don still wants to see Tiger Claw drop the Intercontinental gold, and he doesn't want Sexton ruining Shakespeare's chances. SR: Those two brain-dead heavies have no business down here! [While Don and Vinny confront Sexton, the referee's count reaches seven, and finally, Shakespeare starts to stir, getting to his feet. He sees the turmoil on the outside, but elects to continue working on Claw, dragging him to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. Shakespeare lies in the ring, and bicycle kicks Claw into the ropes. The Intercontinental Champion gets tangled in the top two ropes, and tumbles to the outside. Big pop! Shakespeare sizes up his opponent, and then launches himself with a somersault bodypress to the outside! Huge pop! Claw goes down, and Shakespeare pummels him with a few punches, before rolling him back into the ring. Meanwhile, on the outside, Casey James and Hakiro Matsuoko calmly make their way down to the ring. The crowd react with a big heel pop.] TD: I knew it was only a matter of time before these two turned up. The members of the Syndicate just can't fight their own battles. [James and Matsuoko immediately turn their attentions on the Family, but also spare a few shots for Sexton. Pretty soon, an uncontrollable brawl has broken out between the five wrestlers on the outside of the ring. The referee leaves the ring to try and break up the dispute, while Shakespeare goes to the top again. This time, he executes the Curtain Call perfectly, and covers Claw... but there's no referee! The crowd go berzerk as Shakespeare looks around for the official.] TD: This is ridiculous! You could count to fifty, but the referee's not there. Come on, ref, get back into the ring! SR: The official has to ensure that there is no outside interference, Dross. Don't criticise the poor guy for doing his job! TD: Steve... [sighs] Never mind. [Shakespeare practically drags the official back into the ring, and again makes the cover on Claw - 1 - 2 - Claw kicks out! Big disappointed pop from the crowd. Shakespeare argues with the official, clearly frustrated, while Claw manages to get to his feet and nails Shakespeare from behind. He attempts a back suplex on Billy, but Shakespeare blocks by wrapping his leg in Claw's legs. Claw puts him down again, and Shakespeare spins around, nailing Claw with a wild right hand. The force of the blow makes Claw spin around, and Shakespeare grabs him from behind, executing a quick German suplex on the champion. However, he fails to bridge correctly, and both men's shoulders are down! The referee looks confused for a moment, and then makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The crowd erupt with a huge pop!] TD: What?! What's the decision here?! SR: Shakespeare pinned himself -- Claw's the winner. TD: But Shakespeare was the one who executed the move. _He_ was pinning Claw... he's the new Intercontinental Champion! SR: No way, Dross! TD: Let's get the official word... RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner.... and _NEW_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion, "Spoootlliiiiggght" Biiillllyy Shaaaakespeeeaare! [The referee raises Billy's arm, and the crowd erupts in a mammoth pop for Shakespeare.] SR: You're kidding me! The IIWF is giving the Syndicate the shaft yet again! [Brian Lau leaps into the ring and immediately begins arguing with the official, signalling for Shakespeare's music to be cut off. The crowd falls into silence as Lau remonstrates with the referee.] TD: I don't know what's going on here, folks. This sounds like the first job for the IIWF's new Special Concerns Committee. Look, here comes an official now. SR: This is ridiculous, Dross! Shakespeare pinned himself, and that's all there is to it. [The brawl on the outside has broken up, with the factions taking their places outside the ring, and the official makes his way into the ring. He confers with the referee, and also with Brian Lau, and then speaks to the ring announcer.] TD: I think we have a verdict here, folks... RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Poutine Janois of the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee has _overruled_ the decision in this match, and has declared it a _draw!_ [Shakespeare kicks the ropes in frustration, while Lau nods and laughs, as if justice has been served. However, the smile is wiped off his face as the announcer continues:] RA: However, due to the inconclusive nature of the match, the Intercontinental Championship will be _vacated_ pending a rematch between Tiger Claw and Billy Shakespeare at the earliest possible opportunity! [Big pop!] TD: Well, there you have it, folks. I think this is the only fair way of settling this matter. SR: You're kidding me, Dross! TD: Come on, Steve. It's been a tremendous athletic contest between these two men, and it must be settled fairly. Anyway, folks, while we're clearing the ringside area ready for tonight's main event, let's go to another message from the IIWF's healthcare project: [SCENE: Two men are sitting on a bench in the darkest corner of a park. Both of them are holding needles in their hands.] Man1: [looking nervous] It's about time... I need this injection now... [He rams the needle into his arm. The nervous look on his face gives way to one of increasing relaxation. He even begins to smile. Suddenly he is hit by serious spasm.] Man2: Hey, what's wrong with ya? Man1: argh... dunno... arghh... [The spasms come to an end and the man breaks down, falling from the bench. In this moment a hooded man comes into view and reaches down to the man] Man2: Hey, whaddya doin' with him? [The hooded man lifts Man1 up his shoulder, causing his hood to be pushed away from his face, revealing Deathbringer.] DB: Well, this mortal just signed a contract with me... [looking at the needle in the other man's hand] And it seems that we will meet again soon... [With these words Deathbringer carries Man1 out of the scene. Fade, as Man2 drops the needle and steps on it again and again. Fade to a black screen with white letters on it and a voice over saying:] VO: There's no hope with dope... [The screen fades again and is filled with new letters, reading:] "A message brought to you by the IIWF health care project and Deathbringer" [Fade. Cut back to the ring, which is now empty. The crowd has calmed down, and all the factions have been escorted back to the locker room.] TD: Okay, folks, it's time for tonight's main event. You'll all remember just three weeks ago at -- hey! Harlequin Tragedy just dropped into the ring! SR: Great, another masked freak in the ring. Go and find out what he wants, Dross. [Tragedy has leaped from the rafters, performed a somersault in midair and landed in the center of the ring on his feet. Comedy leaps down and is caught by Tragedy. Cameras flash all over the arena, and the crowd gives a surprised pop. Dross enters the ring, clutching a microphone.] TD: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the IIWF, the Harlequins -- Tragedy and Comedy! [Mixed pop] Harlequin Tragedy, what brings you to the IIWF? COMEDY: HAHAHAHA! You're asking my man what he's doing here? Man, you are even dumber than you look! And I didn't think that was possible without surgery! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TRAGEDY: The forces which have brought me here do not bode well for the denizens of this federation. Whether champion or challenger, rookie or veteran, wrestler or fan, noone can escape tragedy when it strikes. Don't concern yourselves over whether or not I will target you for destruction. Only concern yourself with WHEN I will. [With that, Tragedy and Comedy leave the ring, and head up the aisle. Dross watches them leave, bewildered, before leaving the ring and rejoining Roberts at the broadcast table.] TD: Well, folks, there you have it. The Harlequins are here in the IIWF. What do you make of them, Steve? SR: I'll reserve judgement until I see them in the ring, Dross. TD: I'm sure we won't have to wait long to see their debut. Right now, fans, it's time for tonight's main event. Otto Verhoeven has been running riot over the IIWF in the past three weeks since winning the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship at Ring Wars II. Tonight, however, he has to go up against the man from whom he took the title so controversially. Verhoeven meets Deathbringer in the squared circle in just a few moments! Let's go back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Deathbringer --------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring and raises his microphone:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's main event! [Big pop] The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, hailing from the Dark Side, weighing in at 324lbs, here is: Deeeaaaatthhhbrrrinnnggeeeeer! [The lights drop in the arena to complete pitch darkness. The crowd gives a huge pop as "The Reaper" kicks in, and a blue light illuminates the head of the aisle. The imposing figure of Deathbringer appears through a cloud of dry ice at the entranceway, and he makes his way to the ring, ignoring the cheering fans. He climbs the ringsteps, and enters the ring. He kneels to the fans, and the lights rise once more.] TD: Just feel the electricity in the crowd, Steve! These people are ready for Deathbringer to take back the title! SR: Dream on, Dross. We're going to see the end of this oversized zombie once and for all tonight! RA: And introducing his opponent: accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, hailing from Essen, Germany, and weighing in at 340lbs, here is the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [Huge heel pop as the theme to "Halloween" starts up over the PA. Verhoeven appears at the head of the aisle, and stands there, his arms akimbo, the world title glinting around his waist. A gloating Nurse Heidi stands by his side, still laughing about the attack perpetrated on the Subway Psycho earlier in the evening. Verhoeven makes his way to the ring, apparently unfazed by the fans' antagonism. He climbs the ringsteps and steps through the ropes, removing his belt and handing it to the referee, keeping his eyes fixed on Deathbringer.] TD: This is going to be a tremendous match, folks. Hold on to your hats! [The referee signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding! Verhoeven and Deathbringer size up to one another, and almost immediately, the challenger executes a vicious thrust at the Butcher's neck, grabbing him and starting to choke him. Big pop! The referee calls for the break, and Deathbringer whips Verhoeven into the ropes, hitting him with a clothesline. Verhoeven remains standing, so 'Bringer sends him for the ride a second time, and this time launches himself with the Scythe flying clothesline, taking the Butcher off his feet. Verhoeven rolls to the outside, where a frantic Nurse Heidi tends to him. The crowd give Deathbringer a huge pop!] TD: Look how aggressive Deathbringer is in there tonight, Steve! He wants that title back, and I really believe he can take it! SR: Shut it, Dross! Verhoeven's just having a shaky start. He's going to bounce back, I guarantee it. [Verhoeven climbs back to the apron, and Deathbringer attempts to drag him back into the ring, but the Butcher goes for the challenger's midsection, forcing him to back away, and in a spectacular display of agility, Verhoeven uses the ropes as a catapult, sending himself flying into the ring with a lariat on Deathbringer. The big man goes down, and Verhoeven quickly follows up with a legdrop, before dragging him to his feet and attempting to whip him into the ropes. Deathbringer reverses the attempt and sends Verhoeven for the ride, and puts his head down for a backdrop -- but telegraphs the move, and Verhoeven executes a vicious jumping DDT on 'Bringer. The crowd give a big heel pop as Verhoeven goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Deathbringer sits bolt upright, and Verhoeven seems a little taken aback. Big pop! Nonetheless, he sets about Deathbringer once more with kicks and punches, but the dark destroyer fights to his feet and begins slugging it out with Verhoeven. Verhoeven ducks under a hard right hand, and raises his boot into 'Bringer's lower abdomen. The big man doubles over, and Verhoeven sends him crashing to the mat with a big kneelift. Huge heel pop!] TD: Neither man seems able to get a solid advantage here, Steve, but Deathbringer is taking the worst of it right now. SR: People are always saying how unstoppable Deathbringer is... you're going to see tonight that he certainly _is_ stoppable. Once Verhoeven pins Deathbringer, there will be no doubt at all that he truly is the greatest World Champion the IIWF has ever seen! [Verhoeven showboats to the hostile crowd, and applies a camel clutch on the downed Deathbringer, whose mask hides the contortions of pain on his face. The referee checks on 'Bringer, but the big man refuses to give up. The crowd begin a "R - I - P! R - I - P!" chant, and the noise builds up into a crescendo. Heidi looks out into the crowd, yelling at the fans to shut up. 'Bringer begins to fight to his knees, but Verhoeven yanks his weight backwards, putting even greater strain on the challenger's back, and Deathbringer wilts once more.] TD: 'Bringer has to get out of that hold -- if Verhoeven weakens his back, his upper body strength will be severely affected. This is bad news for the challenger... Hang on, I'm told that there's a disturbance in the locker room area. We've got a camera back there. [Cut to a split screen. On the right, Verhoeven continues to apply the camel clutch on Deathbringer, while on the left, a handheld camera shows a team of security officials attempting to hold back an irate and injured Subway Psycho. He is strong enough to throw the odd security guard against the wall, but seems too weak to break through their human wall. He screams his fury as the team begins to push him back towards the locker rooms. Cut back to a normal shot.] TD: Well, the Subway Psycho is clearly a very unhappy man after that sneak attack by Nurse Heidi and Verhoeven earlier on tonight. No sign of Mistress Sasha, though -- I hope she's not seriously injured. SR: Who cares, Dross?! That little hussy showed just how much class she has when she abandoned the Syndicate to go back to that stinking loser. Those two deserve each other, and they deserve all the beatings they get. TD: Anyway, folks, this crowd is really starting to get behind Deathbringer, but he doesn't seem able to break out of the hold. [The "R - I - P!" chant builds once more, and Deathbringer again attempts to break out of the hold. He manages to get onto his knees, and then drives his elbow back into Verhoeven's gut, forcing the Teutonic terror to release the hold. 'Bringer is straight back to his feet, and he immediately kicks Verhoeven in the midsection once more. He then hoists the Butcher up into position for a tombstone piledriver, but his back seems to give out, and he is forced to weakly slam Verhoeven to the mat. Undeterred, 'Bringer drops an elbow on Verhoeven, and goes for the pinfall - 1 - 2 - kickout! 'Bringer drags Verhoeven to his feet, and whips him into the ropes, executing a chokeslam on the rebound. Huge pop! 'Bringer again makes the cover - 1 - 2 -- kickout! The entire crowd seems to exhale simultaneously. Suddenly, there is a commotion at the head of the aisle.] TD: Hang on... who is that up there?! There's a man trying to get down to ringside... [A masked man pushes past security and makes his way to the announcers' table. He seats himself beside Dross, and takes the spare headset.] TD: Who are you? And what do you want out here? Man: I'm someone you know quite well, and I'm someone whom you, Roberts, might know even better from your vast ring experience. As far as the question of what I`m doing here goes: I'm watching, what did you think? TD: But you can't just... Man: I _can_ do it, as you can see. Now shut up and watch that match, you moron. SR: Whoever you are, I like your style. Anybody who shuts Dross up is a friend of mine. Man: Well, we have much in common, Roberts... However, I tire of this dull match already. Dross, would you excuse me? TD: But... [The man gets up from the broadcast table and grabs a chair. He goes to the timekeeper's table and grabs a microphone as three more men run down to the ring. The man attracts Deathbringer's attention, and pulls off his mask.] TD: It's the Coroner! It's the Coroner! And those other three... that's the Masters of Pain! SR: Shut up, Dross. I want to hear what the Coroner has to say! TC: That's it, Deathbringer, you are about to be extinguished... Did you really think you could overcome my power and the power of the Masters Of Pain? You should never have come here to the IIWF, but that's a mistake that can no longer be reversed. You'll now pay the price. And _you_ [he points out to the fans] morons out there, just take a good long look at your _Grim Reaper_, look at how I handle him... Oh, and finally let me say it once again: I'M OUT TO DESTROY AND I WILL CUT YOU DOWN! [Deathbringer leaves Verhoeven in the ring, and goes to the outside, where he tries to hold his own against the Coroner and his three stablemates. However, his weakened back seems to impede his progress, and the four men beat him down. The Coroner begins to batter Deathbringer with his chair, until it no longer resembles something one could sit on. The crowd are going mad, and the referee attempts to break up the brawl, but is merely shoved aside and threatened by one of the men. The attackers continue to punch and kick Deathbringer, much to the consternation of the crowd.] TD: This is horrible! Gang warfare has overtaken the IIWF... hey! Here come the cavalry! It's the Sandman and Archan... Legion, whoever! [Big pop as the Sandman and Archangel run down the aisle to their comrade's aid. However, despite a noble effort, they too soon succumb to the odds of four against two. Deathbringer, meanwhile, sits bolt upright. Huge pop from the crowd! However, the Coroner immediately grabs the chair and leathers 'Bringer with it some more, straight across the top of the head. The bent and twisted steel seems to lacerate the top of his head, and blood begins to matt his hair. The Coroner swings with the remains of the chair, and knocks Archangel to the floor, and then drives it into the Sandman's gut, bending him double. One of the Masters hits the Sandman with a DDT onto the arena floor, laying him out.] TD: This is carnage! The Masters of Pain have completely decimated the Dark Knights! SR: Those three losers have had this coming for a long time! The Masters of Pain are just finishing what the Syndicate started! [Meanwhile, in the ring, Verhoeven has recovered sufficiently to beckon Nurse Heidi to grab the title, and while the confusion reigns on the outside, he escapes groggily through the crowd, pride dented but title intact. The Masters of Pain, meanwhile, hoist the lifeless form of Deathbringer up onto their shoulders, and proceed back up the aisle. Fans throw trash into the aisle as they make their way back to the locker room area with their spoils. A security team intercepts them at the entrance curtain, and another brawl breaks out.] TD: Folks, the IIWF is overrun with madness and interference! Something must be done! SR: We could very well have seen the last of Deathbringer, Dross! This is great! [Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: Well, fans, we're right out of time here tonight. Each and every week, the madness seems to escalate in the IIWF, and tonight has been no exception. We've seen a controversial title change, we've seen the arrival of the Harlequins to the IIWF, we've seen Otto Verhoeven wreak havoc, and we've seen Deathbringer carried out of the arena, practically unconscious. Where do we go from here? The IIWF President, regardless of the speculation that continues to surround him, must take positive action to put an end to this guerilla warfare. Folks, we've got to go off the air. Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will be back with an update on all of the situations we've seen develop here tonight in Tuesday's "Inside the IIWF". Until then, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut to an aerial shot of the ringside area. The IIWF logo spins on the canvas, and a medical team can be seen on the outside tending to the Sandman and the Archangel. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+