[Cut to fast-paced music, which is matched by equally fast-paced clips of IIWF action. As the final guitar chord is drawn out, The High Plains Drifters simultaneously clothesline The Barnacle Brothers over the top rope and the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - November 8, 1996 ================================================= [A remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scramble over each other to get on camera. A man wearing a "Soldier of Hell" t-shirt screams Deathbringer's name and breaks down in tears. An elderly, blue-haired woman wearing "Subway Psycho Eye Black" stares at the camera. And a conservative gentleman waves a homemade poster that reads "Stick Bill Clinton in a Flaming Cage!" Zoom to Tim Dross sitting at the anchor desk, adjusting his microphone and ear piece as the lighting rises.] TD: Good evening everyone, and welcome to "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm your host Tim Dross, and the Syndicate continues to be in the news these days. You all know, of course, about the huge match between Tiger Claw and Billy Shakespeare tomorrow night for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship. But Brian Lau may have trouble even getting his man to that match after Tiger Claw and Hakiro Matsuoko had a public falling out Wednesday night. Both men claimed it was just a misunderstanding, but you have to wonder if the Syndicate is on solid ground right now. We'll have an exclusive "Up Close and Personal" interview with Tiger Claw later in the show. [Switch the camera angle to get a different shot of Dross. He swivels his chair to accommodate the shot.] TD: First, I have yet another serious injury to report. "Badboy" Mark Bagwell, who made a stellar debut Wednesday night, met none other than El Super Gecko at a house show in Walla Walla, Washington, last night. Bagwell was intent on proving that you CAN hurt the lizard, but his concentration was broken during the match by the arrival of "Badboy" Randy Acorn. The Gecko dropkicked Bagwell from the top turnbuckle to ringside, knocking him through the timekeeper's table. Acorn took over from there, repeatedly ramming Bagwell into the ring steps. Bagwell was stretchered from the Coliseum and it appears his career is over. The last words he muttered as emergency personnel carried him up the aisle were: "You Really Can't Hurt the Lizard!" El Super Gecko... misunderstood jobber or sadistic reptile? We'll keep searching for the answer, fans. But now it's time to take a look back in our: ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF MIDWEEK MAYHEM REWIND ---------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: Larry Morton and Becky LaRue were at ringside for another exciting edition of "IIWF Midweek Mayhem." Let's take a look at the events of this wild Wednesday: [Dross does the voice-over as footage from each match rolls.] ***************************************** CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES defeated LEGION ***************************************** TD: In one of the hardest-fought matches of the night, Casey James scored the victory with his Black Death spinebuster. Casey seems at times to be building up toward a title challenge, but he can also seem content just to hurt opponents. Perhaps that's indicative of what's going on in the Syndicate right now. ************************************************* "QUICKSTRIKE" CHRIS QUIGLEY defeated FISTO FLASH ************************************************* TD: Chris Quigley is just 24 hours away from what could be the biggest match of his career -- a shot at the IIWF Heavyweight Title. But Quigley has been hampered by injuries and interferences of late, and he turned in a very lackluster performance Wednesday against Fisto Flash. Quigley will need a much better showing tomorrow night against Otto Verhoeven if he hopes to win the belt. Fisto Flash merely wants to rid himself of Onslaught, who made an appearance during this match: [Robo Stone and Fisto Flash stand in the IIWF interview area.] RS: NOBODY stops Fisto Flash from doin' his thing! NOBODY! Well, now you've dug a hole that you'll NEVER climb out of, Onslaught. And now it's only TIME that separates the joining of you, crimson boy, and Tony Farts. HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! FF: You're a VERY lucky boy, Onslaught. You have crossed the line between competition and rivalry. You wanna start somethin', well YOU GOT IT! You don't know WHEN, you don't know HOW, and you don't know WHERE; but you're goin' DOWN! [Fisto Flash poses. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Those two just ooze class, don't they? Moving on... **************************************************** NO CONTEST: THE ALPHABET BOYS vs. THE PLAYERS' CLUB **************************************************** TD: The Armed Forces have been complaining about all the sneak attacks in the IIWF, so what do they do? They jump TWO teams in the middle of a match! I've got to question Aaron the Caddy's judgment on this one, as The ABoys and The Players' Club worked together to force the Forces backstage. ************************************************ STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI defeated MAN OF STEEL ************************************************ TD: The New Jersey Nightmare has been on a roll since joining the IIWF, but the Man of Steel seems to be sliding since Robski continues to press allegations of drinking, drugging, and debauchery against MOS. Personally, I don't believe it, but Steel is finding it difficult to win back the fans. Kowalski, meanwhile, could seemingly care less about the fans: [SCENE: Bodies are scattered about a grungy bar, which is a mess: bottles broken everywhere and the barkeeper is unconscious. Steve "The Fury" Kowalski is in a heated competition of shots. His opponent, the mysterious man only known as Pennywise, is barely on his seat. The Fury on the other hand is solid as a rock. As the two men drink the night away, their conversation can be heard.] PW: [Slurring] ...So I los... lose the match and they JUMP ME! I mean... I was a part of the Ring of Death from the beginning. [Gulping another shot] Y'know that was a... a.... SK: Spit it out already! I came to talk and drink. I don't mind you hangin' but get on with it! [Takes another shot of Old Granddad 114] Jeez! That's mean [BLEEP]! PW: Right. Uh... I was wondering if you want to come back to the FeWS with me. I mean _you_ and me could run things over there! I saw you WASTE that Mr. Damage guy. He'd have some [gulp] set of balls to walk in the ring with you. We could take out all the pantywaists like Ellis and the Z-man and... SK: AND the Ring of Death! Get the [BLEEP] out of here, Penny! You just want someone that does the dirty work. If ya can't handle the heat, get the [BLEEP] out of the kitchen. The stuck up suits at FeWS wouldn't sign me anyway 'cause they thought I'd make a mess like my ole man did the Independent Supercards. [Gulp] In the IIWF, I make the rules! I get to slap punks like Damage around all day. [he takes a ticket out of his pocket and hands it to Pennywise.] Here. Come and watch me. I'll show you how its done! Ya might learn something. One more shot and we're outta here! [Both men raise their shot glasses and drink them down. Pennywise falls unconscious from his chair and slumps to the ground. Kowalski gets up, throws on his jacket and starts walking off.] SK: Ya never could hold your liquor, Penny. Like I said, watch me in the IIWF. I'm gonna hurt me some punks! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ******************************** LORD BYRON defeated DON ANTONIO ******************************** TD: For some reason, The Venusian Death Cell singled out the Family for an attack and he went after Vinny Cappicola. The Don left the ring to help Vinny and was counted out, giving Lord Byron the easy win. What of Lord Byron's questionable heritage? I'll have more on that controversy later in a special Dross Report. And what about The VDC's attack on the family? I tried to get the lowdown from a moody VDC earlier today: [SCENE: The Venusian Death Cell is in an IIWF interview room. Tim Dross enters.] TD: Sorry I'm late, Cell. VDC: You'd better be. I'm a busy man, Dross. Let's make it quick. TD: Sure. I'm basically here to get comments on your match against Subway Psycho tomorrow night. VDC: Don't use that word to describe him in my presence ever again, Dross. TD: Hold on, which word? VDC: Psycho. TD: But that's his name... VDC: I couldn't care less. He's about as much a Psycho as you are Dross. [Howling laughter can be heard from outside the room. The camera pans to Steve Roberts walking by with a cup of coffee in his hand. He stops to watch and listen to the interview.] TD: Will you be quiet, Steve? Where was I? VDC: Where were _you_? I was talking, Dross. TD: Oh yes, please continue. VDC: I've finished what I was saying. TD: Yes, of course you have. Okay, so you don't have any worries about the Psyc... uh, Subway, then? VDC: No. TD: But he's an established wrestler who's beaten many of the top wrestlers here in the IIWF. He even won the World Title. VDC: That means nothing, Dross. TD: How can you say that? VDC: Titles mean nothing. The Subway guy is a nothing. TD: Is that all you have to say on the subject? VDC: Yes. TD: This could make him mad you know. VDC: [sarcastically] Oh no. Mommy, help me. The Subway guy may hurt me. [The VDC turns serious again] I saw this guy doing an interview the other day. He spouted some crap like: "Rage fuels my engines, and hate oils my wheels!" Is that meant to scare me? TD: Well, it would worry me if I were in your shoes. VDC: It's a good thing you're not. You're in those $9.99 bargain boots anyway. TD: As a matter of fact, these cost me $125. VDC: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Read my lips, Dross. I don't care. I couldn't care less if you paid me. Subway, I just hope you've got enough hate and rage inside of you to last more than two minutes in the ring with me. 'Cause the fans aren't going to be happy if they see you get dumped that quick. TD: All right, enough of this. I'm sure the Psycho [VDC spits at Dross. Dross looks irate. Pauses for a moment and carries on]... I'm sure the Psycho [The VDC spits at Dross again]... will not take your bait. He's above that. VDC: Well, if he doesn't, his wheels just aren't going to be oiled are they? [Steve Roberts laughs again] TD: I'm sure they'll be more than oiled. [There is then a silence.] I guess I should try and find out about the attack on Vinny Cappicola [the VDC spits] on Wednesday night then. VDC: Didn't you see what happened? TD: Well, yes. That's why I'm asking. VDC: Don't get strappy with me, Dross. I'm not in the mood. TD: Okay, maybe I should have phrased that better. WHY did you attack Cappicola? What had he done to you? VDC: Nothing. TD: Well why then? VDC: I was bored. Felt like injuring somebody. He was the nearest person. TD: So you just attack people when you've got nothing else to do? VDC: Yes. I thought you'd have worked that out for yourself by now though, Dross. [More laughter can be heard in the hallway. It's Roberts again.] TD: Thanks, Steve. I remember you've had some of the nastiest confrontations with this guy actually. [Roberts' face turns serious. He then walks on.] TD: I don't know why I even bother with you, Cell. I think that we should cut it there. VDC: No, Dross. This interview finishes when I say so. TD: [Dross puts on a very brave face] Well you'll just have to talk to yourself then. [Dross walks out. The VDC follows him and out of earshot appears to threaten him. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Fortunately, the IIWF administration is supporting the broadcast team and has threatened severe fines and suspensions for any wrestler who touches a broadcaster. It's been a much-needed rule in the IIWF and, in this reporter's opinion, is directly squarely at people like the VDC. ************************************************ "BADBOY" MARK BAGWELL defeated EL POCO SEGUENTE ************************************************ TD: "Badboy" Mark Bagwell made an impressive debut, but as you heard earlier was seriously injured at the hands of El Super Gecko and "Badboy" Randy Acorn. It looks like we've seen the last of Bagwell in the IIWF. Are Acorn and the Gecko working together now? What a frightening combination that could be! ***************************************** MARTY WARNETT defeated HARLEQUIN TRAGEDY ***************************************** TD: A great technical match was spoiled by the arrival of Lord Byron, who sought to hurt Warnett once again with his cane. But Byron accidentally hit Harlequin Tragedy and actually helped his foe Warnett get the win. Marty also helped prevent Harlequin Comedy from possibly being hurt by Byron. His Lordship may have added another enemy with his actions Wednesday night. ****************************************** GEMINI MATCH: PAIN INC. defeated ZODIAC CONNECTION (DQ) ****************************************** TD: All four men were battling in the ring when Domination came to the ring to seek revenge on Morningstar and Hellraiser. In doing so, they cost the Zodiacs a loss by disqualification, which obviously didn't please Taurus and Scorpio: [The Zodiac Connection, Taurus and Scorpio, stand in the IIWF interview area following Midweek Mayhem.] TAURUS: Domination... you have earned yourselves a date with the Zodiac Connection. We had business with Pain, Inc and we don't appreciate anyone else sticking their noses in it! SCORPIO: Domination, I guess it is your turn to spin the wheel boys! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Domination may not have pleased the Zodiacs, but Mr. Psycho and Monster were more than pleased with the beating they gave Pain Inc. -- and especially Morningstar: [SCENE: Domination are in their warehouse, training as usual. Mistress, Mr. Psycho, and Monster are all visibly upset.] MP: [his eyes glaring] We warned you, Pain Inc. We warned you all. We said we wouldn't sit around, waiting for you to bring the battle to us. We kept our word. You push us, we'll punch you back. You punch us, we'll break your friggin' arms. MO: Raaarrgghhhhh. MI: I couldn't have put it better myself. MorningStar, you got the first installment of a big payback that we owe you. You didn't expect it did you? You didn't think we`d do it. Sure, we may be considered fan favorites, but that`s because they don`t like to see wussies standing around waiting to get the [BLEEP] kicked out of them. I've taught my boys the proper way to wrestle. MP: She taught us that wrestling nowadays is much more than just the fight inside the ring. It`s the fight inside the heart as well. We've got the fight, we've got the determination. But Pain Inc. you haven`t. MI: Right now though, we`re interested in teaming up with RSR to face Pain Inc. and the Dark Disciples, though that may have to wait considering the fact that poor MorningStar may have a head injury or two. MP: Awww, what a shame. MO: Roooaaarrrrr. MP: Hahaaaahaaaaaaa. Damn right. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: You may recall that Morningstar had to be carried back up the aisle on a stretcher with what we thought were serious injuries. But it looks like Morningstar is a quick healer: [SCENE: Pain Inc.'s dressing room after Midweek Mayhem. Mr.Mic paces across the room while Hellraiser destroys the lockers.] MM: Oh Domination, you have written your death warrant. [He grabs Hellraiser and pulls him in front of the camera. Hellraiser is breathing heavily. He has a demonic smile from ear to ear as he looks at the camera.] THIS RIGHT HERE, DOMINATION, IS YOUR GRIM REAPER. YOU WANT A CAGE MATCH? YOU GOT IT. NO WAY OUT FOR YOU TWO LOSERS. [Mr.Mic is frantic and is visibly angry] I don't care who we get on Saturday night... BUT THEY'RE FINISHED. WE'RE GONNA TAKE OUT ALL OUR FRUSTRATION ON WHOMEVER SIGNS TO FACE THE MINIONS OF HELL. [There is a knock on the door] MM: GET LOST!! I'M BUSY VOICE: Mr.Mic, it's the doctor. MM: [running to the door] It's about friggin time! [Mr.Mic opens the door and the doctor stands there bewildered] MM: Well, how the hell is Morningstar? DOC: I... I... I can't explain it! While we were bringing Morningstar back on the stretcher... [his eyes widen] he just got up! I couldn't believe it! He just got up and started to laugh with this wickedly evil smile across his face. He then put his hands in the air and started to scream. I've never seen anything like it. His spinal cord should have been damaged! He should be unconscious for at least 3-4 hours, but he was only out for two minutes. [Just then a scream comes from the hallway. Mr.Mic and the doctor look up as Morningstar charges into the room like a bull. Mr.Mic manages to get out of the way, but the doctor is literally run over as Morningstar rushes into the room and starts bashing his head against the solid concrete wall. He bashes his head so hard that he begins to bleed. He keeps screaming and laughing as he bashes his head into the wall. Hellraiser starts flexing and pounding dents in the wall with his fists. Mr.Mic starts to laugh.] MY BOYS ARE BACK!!!! DOMINATION YOU WANNA SEE WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? [Mr.Mic writes "DOMINATION" on the wall in Morningstar's blood. Pain Inc. look at it and stop screaming. They both get an extremely focused look on their faces and a deep look of hatred eventually takes over.] DOMINATION!!! HERE IS YOUR "THINGS TO DO TODAY" LIST: 1. GET NEW WILLS MADE 2. MAKE SURE ALL MEDICAL INSURANCE IS PAID UP 3. BUY A FLEA COLLAR FOR MONSTER 4. BUY A REAL NAME FOR MR.PSYCHO 5. REMEMBER, FOR THE MORGUE, THE CAUSE OF DEATH WAS P-A-I-N INC.! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: It looks like war has broken out in the tag team ranks, but no one is quite sure where the battle lines are drawn. Chaos is sure to reign when these teams get together, which could be bad news with four tag matches scheduled for Saturday night's card. ********************************************* IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN defeated ONSLAUGHT (DQ) ********************************************* TD: Onslaught looked like he was on his way to the Cruiserweight title when "Badboy" Mark Bagwell interfered. But El Super Gecko and Randy Acorn made sure last night that Bagwell will interfere in no more matches. Still, Onslaught was happy about the disqualification: [SCENE: Onslaught's training facility. As always, he is in prayer for guidance. He speaks:] ON: Acorn, I had you in my grasp, but it was not your time. Your time WILL come. Bagwell, do not cross my rage again. You will not be so fortunate to walk away next time. Flash, you think that I have been here before? You are wrong, I am the avenging angel, the sword which strikes with the scourge. Your words against Starks are brave. We will see the next time you and I meet if you are still so brave, staring in the face of Vengeance itself. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ********************************* FOUR CORNERS MATCH: DAN KAUFFMAN defeated MR. DAMAGE ********************************* TD: Mr. Damage had Dan Kauffman on the ropes early with a back injury and worked on it throughout the match. But who could have imagined that Steve "The Fury" Kowalski would be the one to give Dan Kauffman a breather? Kowalski grabbed a flag pole from the stands, broke it over Damage's head, and then threw him back into the ring. Kauffman finished Mr. Damage off with his flipping Lights Out clothesline and hit all four turnbuckles for the win. However, when the lights flickered after the match, Kauffman was sure that Cadaver was playing mind games again. If Cadaver was attempting to get Kauffman's attention, it worked: [SCENE: Backstage at a local wrestling event in Hagerstown. Dan Kauffman talks to some of the new talent making their first foray into the realm of professional wrestling. The newbies seem interested, and are generally excited and jittery for the night's festivities. When the wrestlers head out towards the ring, Kauffman stays back and talks to the camera.] DK: They've got a lot of surprises and challenges in store for them. It's never an easy ride in this profession. Never. [Kauffman sits and thinks for a minute, then decides to speak...] Death. It is one of the only sure things to come along in life. There are many ways that people prepare for their own demise. Some turn deeply religious and search for meaning in their lives. Others take up an old hobby to pass the time as easily as possible. Some make new friends and relive past experiences to keep death at bay. But Death is a silent hunter, and it always wins out in the end. That is a principle which I have accepted. But as far as Death concerns myself, it is not my time. Cadaver, all your talk about Death is simply a method... and I will admit, a successful one... to install fear. But what is fear? To me, fear is uncertainty. And that is what you most represent. Uncertainty, specifically in Death. I must sound like Billy Graham about now... Cadaver, in the past weeks, I have feared you, out of the sheer awe of having been put in a place absent of life... that airtight casket. I lived Death for only a few seconds, and its sheer reality was frightening. When I recovered... IF I have recovered... I associated this fear of Death with the man who had made me experience it... and that man was you. I witnessed the attack on Deathbringer, a man whom I know better than perhaps any other mortal on the earth, so to speak. What I saw was a lack of emotion on your part. Your chilling stoniness in doing what in your opinion had to be done. I considered this lack of emotion your biggest advantage. You have been able to use my own emotion against me, and are still able to. Even I must admit that reality. But it is not emotion that is my weakness or your strength. It works both ways. You should know that, for did you not once lead the life of a mortal yourself? Maybe not, but I'm convinced you have, for how else would you know how to control my emotion? But now, sunken into the life that is your Death itself, you use your emotionless persona to make my life a living hell. And that is what my life has become. A Living Hell. Literally. But Cadaver, so be that emotion is a reason for your advantage, so will it have to become a reason for my one chance at claiming my life back from the man who stole it away. I will find a way to confront you, and when I do, I will let you know that I have. You have the decided edge over me right now, as there's still that uncertainty. But humans... mortals... have that ability to overcome uncertainty, to leap past fears and reason and logic and succeed. It is not a describable thing, that's just the way humans are. Cadaver, you and your Death will win in the end -- of that there is no question. But it is not my time. I know not what I can do against your power. But I will find a way to overcome. And Cadaver... the next time you mess with the generators, make sure that the arena has a few backups. You don't want to make everyone fear, do you? Now I have a show to attend. But our time will come. [Kauffman heads away from the camera and out into the small gymnasium for the first match in the young career of a fellow wrestler. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: As for Mr. Damage, he wasn't pleased about Steve Kowalski stepping into this match -- much less breaking a flag pole over Damage's head. These two are bound to meet soon: [SCENE: Mr. Damage paces outside the office of President Spreadbury in the IIWF Towers.] MD: I suppose everyone is wondering why I am outside the President's Office. Well I am here to sign a declaration of my intention to kick Steve Kowalski's teeth in. Kowalski had no business being near the ring on Wednesday when I was besting Dan Kauffman -- and Kauffman, you have to admit I was going to put you away. KAUFFMAN & KOWALSKI make strange bed fellows, but love always has a way. The only way I can finish this thing with Kauffman is in a cage to keep the vermin in this promotion out of it. One on one is all I am asking. We both have people on our backs and the only solution is to settle this is in a locked steel cage. Meanwhile, my employer has given me a bit of leeway to first dispose of this indignant piece of white American trash Steve "the Dreary" Kowalski. Kowalski, you can make all the threats you want. You can throw televisions or even turn over cars. But I achieved what I set out to do. You've blown your top, you're angry and you're real agitated. When we mix it up in the ring, you are going to come into the ring with a fire in your belly. I am going use this against you. You are going to make a mistake and it will be your second big mistake of the night. The first was getting in the ring with me. One mistake is all I'll need to put you away. I'll slap on my figure four. Press down hard on the patented ACCELERATOR and then drop the THUNDERSTRUCK Legdrop on your exhausted, deformed body. I will look down and see you in excruciating pain as they load you into a meat wagon while playing my new theme music "BAD BAD BAD" by the SUPERSUCKERS, and all I'm going to say is "Go back to Jersey where Daddy will lick your wounds." Bruno "the Sandman" was your father? Yeah right, your daddy was a wrestler and your mother was a gogo dancer! Second generation wrestler just means you are stupid enough as your father. You show your father such grace when you don't even share his name. When you, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, the apple of your daddy's eye gets carried out on a stretcher and Bruno "the Sandman" is watching with all his friends back in some Mafia Extorted Restaurant in Jersey he is going to hang his head in shame that the fruit of his loins is a nothing but a failed wrestler with no future, no money and a big chip on his shoulder. He is going to remember back when you were just a twinkle in his eye and Bruno is going to think "Why?" Kowalski, the end is near. I'm out of here, you queer. See you later. [Damage then proceeds into the office of the President. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ************************************************************* FLAMING CAGE HANDICAP MATCH: NO CONTEST: THE WHITE PHOENIX vs. TIGER CLAW-HAKIRO MATSUOKO ************************************************************* TD: The question on the minds of IIWF fans everywhere is "What's happening to the Syndicate?" Hakiro Matsuoko prevented his teammate Tiger Claw from doing serious harm to the Phoenix -- and then Claw and Matsuoko actually got into a shoving match while the Phoenix climbed out of the cage and attacked Brian Lau. One thing is for certain, the Syndicate's braintrust had better figure out a way to restore order in his stable before Tiger Claw meets Billy Shakespeare for the Intercontinental belt tomorrow night. Let's hear from The Syndicate now: [SCENE: Kenny, Brian, and Casey stand in Brian's office in front of the camera. Kenny looks nervous and Brian is wearing a neck brace.] KT: Hello, folks. I'm coming to you with yet another interview with the Syndicate. Let me cut to the chase, Brian... what is going on? BL: Well, I wish I could tell you. It seems like we had an example of a professional disagreement on Wednesday. Hakiro hasn't been to the Dojo since then, so I don't know what to think. He seems to be a little confused at the moment about all the things he's being told. On one hand, he's got us here, and he's got the Rising Sun Revolution polluting his mind with their standpoints. I really wish those two would stay out of it. Anyway, what we saw between Tiger Claw and Hakiro was nothing to worry about. Harsh words were said, but I am confident that we'll be able to smooth this all out. KT: And Tiger Claw is... BL: At the moment, Tiger Claw is getting ready for his interview with Tim Dross. Claw has some things he wants to get off of his chest. It seems that people are misunderstanding him. KT: I see. And how are you feeling after The White Phoenix unlawfully attacked you? BL: Well, Kenny, I can't say that I'm feeling very good. I went to the doctor, and I was told that I'm going to need a bit of chiropractic therapy to get my neck straightened out, and there's a few cuts and bruises that I took from that bump that need fixing up. I'll be sending the bill to Shinja Chow, of course, not to mention a summons to the civil case I plan to bring up against him. You see, I may not be liked by very many people in the IIWF because I get things accomplished. Many others are jealous of that. As a result, many of the athletes here feel that they must injure me to "put me in my place." Well, this is the end of it. I'm not a wrestler. I am a business man. Shinja Chow will be an example, because I'm going to sue him so bad that his children are going to be giving me their paychecks. Chow got his little victory on Wednesday, but now I'm going to win the war. KT: You spoke earlier of the problem with RSR. What do you plan on doing about them? BL: Well, as I've said before, they owe me. I can't believe that they're under the impression that they got into that championship tag match at Ring Wars II on their own. A few strings had to be pulled. Who do you think pulled them? Then, when I make an offer to them, instead of showing me any gratitude, they try to obliterate my stable. Well, I'm searching for just the right tag team to take care of them. I've got a few in mind right now, but I haven't decided yet. KT: Rumor has it that you have been turned down by almost every tag team in the IIWF. BL: Come on, Kenny. Remember Midsummer Madness? The elusive fourth member? Remember how everyone thought I had nobody? KT: And it was Casey James that became a member of the Syndicate. BL: That's right. I've been pleased with Casey's performance ever since. CJ: You can't help but be impressed. My entire repertoire changed. I cast off that stupid quest I had before, and now I'm a focused man. Did you see what I did to Legion on Wednesday? Hey, Archlegion, why don't you go back to your buddy Deathbringer and tell him what Black Death was really like? You know, Legion, you're just another lumbering oaf with an overdone gimmick who just doesn't measure up to a guy like me. I'm stronger, I'm smarter, and I'm better than you. I showed that on Wednesday. So who's next? There's a lot of new guys coming in that look like they're aching for a beating. Maybe I can take one of them out. Only time will tell. IIWF, be careful, because there's a spectre looking over your shoulder, and it's not Legion or Deathbringer... It's me. I can strike more fear into a man's heart than those two combined. You want to know why? Because while they're all busy dropping the lights and playing eerie music, I'm kicking people's asses. When people think about these super-gimmick idiots, they think of their entrances. When people think of the Blackheart, they think of the way I decimated another kid in the middle of the ring. I'm on a roll. BL: That's just the attitude I like. Casey, I want you to take that attitude into the ring with you when you face the Sandman. CJ: *Snort*... Yeah, another member of the Mark Knights. The bunch of them are going down by my hand. Sandman, you've been really slow as of late. I'm going to bring you to a dead stop. Then I'll take your mask as a trophy. BL: That would be a wonderful addition to our trophy case, Casey, but don't allow the match to slip through your hands in order to get another trinket. Saturday is the Syndicate's redemption. We need to get the IC title back, and you need to win that match. Hopefully, we can talk some sense into Hakiro on Saturday as well. KT: Well, Brian, I wish you the best of luck. Fans, we're out of time. For Casey and Brian, this is Kenny Tanaka saying so long! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: The White Phoenix, Shinja Chow, feels he and the Rising Sun Revolution have finally brought Hakiro Matsuoko back to his senses: [SCENE: A darkened dojo. A candle burns in a far corner. The White Phoenix picks it up and walks toward the camera, head bowed, staring at the flame.] WP: What a joy it is to watch one's opponents destroy each other, to watch their structure dissolve from within. Brian Lau, did I not tell you that I would bring your organization to flames? You were foolish to send your two best men into my domain, into the flames, where the power and the glory are mine. Did you not think that the fire would find its way into their minds? And did you not think that my purpose was clear from the beginning? I speak, of course, to you, Hakiro Matsuoko. I still see the embers of an honorable soul within you. You watched what The Syndicate did to Joe Latta when he was no longer useful; without regard for his loyalty, they put him aside. You saw how Tiger Claw treated you. Lau cares only for Claw. I truly hope you come to realize your position within the organization; a lackey, a servant, a slave. Hakiro, I offer you a better way. I offer you my hand in friendship, if you will accept it. The Syndicate is collapsing around you like a house in flames, your master Lau is a liar who will not admit to crimes of the past and of the present, your partner Tiger Claw is an egomaniac who cares only for his own glory. Angel of the Sun, our fires can join for common victory. Consider it well. Now, to the Dark Disciples, I carry a warning and a challenge. Twice now you have attacked my friend Takezo Musashi, and twice have I had to come to his aid. [He lifts his head, his eyes shining in anger.] Do not do so again, or my vengeance will be devastating. I challenge you, on behalf of The Enigma, to a match. If you have the courage, face us in combat. We will defeat your darkness, of this I assure you. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ************************************************************************** ----------------- UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: TIGER CLAW -------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: As you know, fans, I've been conducting interviews over the past few weeks with some of the IIWF's top stars to give you a glimpse behind the scenes -- a glimpse at the men behind the glitter of the IIWF ring. I'm pleased to say that we have a special treat for you tonight. Last week, I contacted Tiger Claw and requested an interview, knowing full well that he not only lets Brian Lau do his talking, but prefers to talk to Kenny Tanaka when he does speak. So I was already preparing a backup interview when I received word that Tiger Claw would indeed speak with me. Quite honestly, fans, I was stunned. You can count on one hand the number of weeks in this federation that Tiger Claw has not held a championship belt. He is, without a doubt, one of the toughest individuals ever to step into the squared circle in the IIWF. He may not be the largest individual, but pound-for- pound you would be hard-pressed to find a better wrestler. His martial arts background and his uncanny speed give him an advantage over larger opponents and have helped him hold onto the IIWF Intercontinental belt for some time now -- although he faces the battle of his life to recapture the belt tomorrow night against Billy Shakespeare. You may not always agree with his methods or the influence Brian Lau seems to have over Tiger Claw, but I think the following interview will help you understand a little bit more about the man behind the myth. Tiger Claw's is a story of youthful desperation and, in many ways, a very sad story. That said, let's go to this week's "Up Close and Personal" interview with Tiger Claw taped just last night: [Cut to taped footage of Tim Dross walking up the path to the Dojo.] TD: Hello, folks! This is Tim Dross, and I'm going where no respectable journalist has gone before: Brian Lau's Dojo. Well, here we go. [Tim knocks on the door, and shortly afterwards, Brian Lau answers, with Kenny Tanaka poking his head around him.] BL: Mr. Dross... It's a pleasure. TD: Thank you Brian. I trust that you're aware of the interview I've scheduled with Tiger Claw. BL: Yes. Kenny here is annoyed that I've allowed you to have this one. KT: Well, it's just that I'm the better man... TD: Ummm, okay. Well, I hope you don't mind if we get underway. BL: Of course not, Tim. He's in the ring. TD: You're not going to be there as well? BL: This is not an interview with me, Mr. Dross. Tiger Claw may be quiet, but he can speak. TD: Okay, then. Thank you, Mr. Lau. [The camera follows Tim through the training area to the ring, where the IC champ meditates in the corner, dressed in sweats. He seems to notice Tim Dross, and stands. He leaves the ring, and sits on a bench outside. He then motions to Dross to sit on the bench as well. Tim does.] TD: Well, Tiger Claw, I'm surprised to be conducting an interview with you alone. I know that the fans feel that you're not exactly the talker of the Syndicate. TC: Well, I am a warrior. I have no need for theatrics, or long-winded comments. Brian is always telling me that such things are essential for a successful career in the IIWF, so I allow him to take care of it, leaving me to contemplate my job. TD: And what do you consider your job? TC: To enter the ring, and fight with the honour of my club. When I fight, I fight not for only me, but for the entire Syndicate. My job is to win. Hurting my opponent is a bonus. This is the way it has been for me since my childhood. TD: Now, one question on many people's minds is how do you feel about the Intercontinental title match on Saturday? TC: It was an outrage. The match was ruled a draw, yet I still lost the belt. Never before have I heard of a champion having to relinquish his belt as a result of a draw. When Shakespeare and I meet in the ring this weekend, I'm going to perform much better, I was not pleased with my mistakes that led to that draw, so I went to Thailand to go back to my roots. There's a lot of history in that country for me, and being near it again gives me strength. TD: Could you shine some light on your history in Thailand? TC: Of course. I was born in Bangkok, Thailand. I was also orphaned at a very young age. It is common knowledge that Bangkok is a city with a very dark underbelly, so imagine what it is like for a child on the street to survive. In order to protect myself, I learned how to fight. Being Thailand's national sport, it is not hard to find a place to learn Muay Thai kickboxing. I learned that not only was this art useful to keep me alive, but it was possible to use my skills to earn food. Not being much of a person for thievery, I began competing in back alleys for my next meal. You wouldn't believe how easily one's skills can progress when survival is the motivator. I had my first win when I was 8. I had my first loss shortly afterwards. In such contests, there is nobody to enforce any rules, so eye gouging, groin shots, and biting were commonplace. I guess my "aggressive style" can be attributed to those back alley fights. Some of the spectators would give the competitors incentives for breaking bones, or putting their opponents in the hospital. After a while, you associate the act with the reward. TD: Yet you survived these contests. How? TC: By being the most ruthless fighter I could be. Fighters died... Some of them children. They were weak, and they lost their privilege of life. I was strong, so I was able to stay alive. After a while, word began to spread of my victories, and scouts began popping up at the occasional fight, hoping to catch a glimpse of me. I cared not for their contracts. I cared only for the joy of fighting, and the opportunity to feed myself. It was getting easier to live for me, since I was getting regular prizes for injuring my opponents. Then I met Brian Lau. He came to one of my fights, and he was impressed. He spoke to me afterwards, and I figured it was going to be the typical "I can make you a star" speech, but I was pleasantly surprised. He spoke of the chance to fight bigger and better opponents, and the opportunity to be recognized as the best in the world. How could I refuse? Brian got me registered in the professional circuit as quickly as possible, and I won my first fight in record time. Unfortunately, afterwards, I broke his leg, and I was suspended for some time. Brian was a little annoyed, but not angry. I just had to keep in mind that there were rules to abide by. After I was reinstated, I stayed within the rules, and quickly moved up in the ranks. In short, I became the world Muay Thai champion at the age of 16. TD: You lived on the streets for almost eight years? TC: No, no... That incentive money I was paid helped me find an apartment. I only lived on the street for two or three years... the rest of the time, I had my own home. TD: So you're saying that at the age of 10 or 11, you were renting an apartment, and fending for yourself? TC: Yes. One tends to grow up quickly when he is forced to take care of himself. TD: So what happened when you were champion? TC: I held that belt for five years. Nobody could beat me. I fought everyone who deserved it. In Thailand, that's no small number of people. I was happy, because I was undisputedly the best fighter in the world, and Brian was happy because I was making us all sorts of money. If I were an American, I'd probably have been doing soda pop commercials. Thankfully, I'm not an American. Anyway, I held that belt without ever losing a match. My last defense was against an American loudmouth who claimed he was the best in the world. The match was hyped for weeks on television in countries all over the world. Everyone was placing bets. I was surprised to find that this buffoon was the odds-on favorite to win. When the match began, I was so angry at this idiot that I fought my hardest, and I never let up on him. I broke his back. He died in the middle of the ring while I stood over him, laughing. TD: Wait a minute, this sounds familiar. TC: Yes, the incident was used in an American movie for a plot line. I believe the name of the main actor was Van something... In fact, the villain in that movie was loosely based on me, but there were enough differences that Brian could not sue. TD: Okay... TC: Anyway, this man's life was finished. Luckily for me, I was protected from the law by the legal genius of Brian Lau. However, after threats from America, I was stripped of the title and suspended indefinitely from the pro Thai boxing circuit. The authorities in Thailand didn't want to do this, but they were somewhat forced. I am still a hero in my native country. In fact, broadcasts of IIWF events are linked via satellite to Thailand so the people there can watch me. The rest of my story can easily be found in the archives of the IIWF library. TD: That's some story. What about your name? I trust it's not your given name. TC: Well, I am pretty sure that Mr. Lee would have a difficult time pronouncing my last name, especially since he has problems pronouncing the word "enigma." Yodkerepauprai would be impossible for him. I decided that since most American announcers would butcher my given name, I decided to take on the moniker Tiger Claw. TD: Is there any significance to the name? TC: The Tiger is a most respected animal in Thailand, especially amongst Thai boxers. In fact, many of the maneuvers are named after certain aspects of the character of the tiger. In fact, Tiger Claw refers to an uppercut punch. I liked the sound of it. TD: Interesting. Now, on to more recent events... How does it feel to be a three-time IIWF Intercontinental champ? TC: Well, I can't say that I'm surprised that I've completely dominated this belt. However, I am not jaded to it. What bothers me is all the newcomers who feel that they should immediately challenge me for the title as soon as they get here. These people don't seem to understand that the shot has to be earned. This is a title that requires a true champion to hold it, not some rookie who got lucky and found someone to interfere in a match for him. It's a title to be held with pride. I am still as proud of holding this title now as I was the day I won it from Hakiro Matsuoko. TD: Speaking of Hakiro, you two had a public disagreement last night at Midweek Mayhem. How do you feel about him? TC: A lot better than I used to. It's no secret that I used to hate him with a passion. Of course, after his return to the IIWF after losing the IC title, he was more tolerable. We've become fairly good friends. We've found that we are not that different. The events of last night were merely... as you said... a disagreement. TD: What about the other members of the Syndicate? TC: Well, I enjoy Casey's directness. I also enjoy teaching him what I know. Joe Latta, until recently, was very similar. Of course, he allowed that witch to pull him away from us. He suffered for that, and I do not regret what was done to him. It made Casey a stronger man. TD: But Joe's career could be over! TC: If it is, then he deserves it. I've seen people come back after a beating like that. The problem is that he was raised in this country, so he's soft. TD: Is it this hatred of America what drives you now? TC: You can tell a lot about a country by its heroes. When I look at the kind of person that this country worships - Closed minded, all guns blazing, can-do-no-wrong muscleheads -- it turns my stomach. A prime example is the Subway Psycho. TD: Your battles with him are almost legendary. TC: I can't stand that man. A pathetic sewer dweller who's only chance for victory is by subterfuge. He does things like disguising himself to face me so I underestimate him. He cost me the title on one occasion, and promises to do it again. I am convinced that he will try to take part in my rematch against Shakespeare. Brian Lau has promised to take care of that, however. The truth is that he's afraid to face me under normal circumstances. He'd rather stick his nose into my other matches. I would love to fight him one on one, with nobody else around to interfere. Both men enter the ring as themselves, and there will be one winner. That way, neither of us can complain about conditions. Until he can agree to that, he's nothing but the worm that I say he is. TD: What's in the future for Tiger Claw? TC: Dinner. I'm hungry. TD: I mean long term. TC: Well, I am going to get my title back. I am confident that I can become the four-time IC champ. However, if for some reason Billy Shakespeare gets the best of me, I would not be too angry. Shakespeare is a good competitor in the IIWF. He may be a little pompous, but he is a resilient warrior. There would be no shame in losing to him other than the shame of losing itself. If this should happen, then I might try for that title again, or I might broaden my horizons with a pursuit of another title. The Cruiserweight title is a good one... as is the World Title. TD: Is that a challenge to Otto Verhoeven? TC: No. I don't wish to face him just yet. I'm confident that if I were to ask for a shot, Herr Verhoeven would give it to me. It's just that right now, I've got my own title to regain. TD: Wouldn't you want to be a double champion? TC: I would love to. However, I am concentrating on getting my title back before I try to take another. TD: It's interesting how you refer to the Intercontinental title as "your" title. TC: Because it is. If you look at the history of that title, the name that appears most is mine. I own that title. Nobody has had that title around their waist as long as I have, and nobody will. I am confident that Billy Shakespeare won't have the opportunity to wear that title, and that I will be carrying the belt out at the end of the night. I know that Shakespeare is going to be saying roughly the same thing... that he'll be taking the title home Saturday night. I have just one thing to say to that. [Tiger Claw turns to the camera] If to do were as easy as to say, then chapels would be churches and poor men's cottages would be princes' palaces. That's from "Merchant of Venice." Billy isn't the only one who finds the time to read. TD: Don't tell me you read classics as well? TC: Of course I do. The best warrior is the one who can fight with his body _and_ mind. I train my body in the gym, and I train my mind by reading books. Call that a public service announcement, I guess. Besides. I wouldn't call William Shakespeare a classic... Sun Tzu... Now _there's_ a legend. TD: Well, Unfortunately, we seem to be just about out of time. Tiger Claw, I'd like to thank you for your time. I never expected that I would ever hear you say so many words in one sitting. TC: I'm quiet by choice, Tim. I only speak when necessary. I found it necessary to clear up the misunderstandings of my character today, and you have yourself a prime interview. TD: And thank you very much for that. Perhaps we'll be hearing more from you in the future. [Tiger Claw shrugs] [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: Fans, we're almost a week removed from the brutal attack on Deathbringer by The Coroner and his Masters of Pain. We sent roving correspondent Bulldog Brown to the cemetery to see if he could learn any more about what happened and why: [Scene: Bulldog Brown stands in front of the entrance to Deathbringer's cemetery] BB: Well, folks, I'm here to gather new clues about the condition of Deathbringer and about the recent reappearance of the Masters Of Pain. My investigation has brought me to 'Bringer's cemetery, maybe I'll find something in there! [Bulldog Brown enters the cemetery through the large, rusty iron gate and slowly walks down he path that leads towards the mortuary. Suddenly five men jump out of some bushes. Bulldog Brown gasps in astonishment as he recognizes the Coroner as one of the men.] BB: Pheewww, now that wasn't very nice of you, Coroner! TC: I'm not here to be nice... BB: Certainly not. The question everyone wonders about is: What's the condition of Deathbringer? And why... TC: [interrupting] Blablabla... What is this, what is that, why is that, why is this... You really bore me with your questions. The reaper is dead and gone, and that's for sure. Hey, I know what I'm talking about... they don't call me the Coroner for nothing! [The Masters Of Pain laugh aloud.] BB: You mean that Deathbringer is... TC: [interrupting again] Yes, he is. Any further questions? BB: Well, now that's shocking news... ermm... What about your further plans here in the IIWF? TC: What further plans? My one and only plan was to make Deathbringer pay for his deeds. And let me tell you something: This league is crap, the wrestlers are crap, the president is crap... and hell, Dross wears false hair. The IIWF can consider itself lucky that me and the Masters Of Pain have other things on our agenda at the moment. However, you never know whether we'll come back at some point. And then _we'll_ be the stable that rules this league. At that point, no Quigley, no Verhoeven, no Subway Psycho and no Tiger Claw will be able to stop us as we destroy their worthless careers. After all, I'm still out to destroy, and I will cut you down!" [The Masters of Pain again laugh aloud, then make their way out of the cemetery, leaving Bulldog Brown behind] BB: Well, you heard it... Boy, those guys are nuts. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Thanks for that report, Bulldog. Deathbringer... dead. I never thought I would see the day. And of course, we refute those nasty things The Coroner said about the IIWF. But there is no time to mourn the former Heavyweight champ Deathbringer, because the man who took his belt is preparing for another title defense tomorrow night against "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. Let's hear from Otto Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi: [SCENE: Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi are in their luxurious apartment in the German Embassy. He is talking on the phone.] OV: Ja, ja I see the problem. Things seem to get difficult for you, eh? No problem, I owe you something. You can count on me. We will talk again later, I have to make another statement. The duties of a champion. Bye. [Turns to face the camera.] So, I will defend my title on Saturday night again. But who will be my opponent? "Freakstrike" Chris Quigley, the lean, mean talking machine. The last time I saw him he was carried out on a stretcher by the paramedics. Who beat him into that bloody pulp? NH: Naturlich you, mein Geliebter. You nearly cracked his skull vith that chair. OV: Exactly. I have waited long to meet him in the ring again, and on Saturday, my dreams and his nightmares will come true. Another opportunity to end his miserable and annoying career and shut that Canadian piece of garbage up once and for all! NH: It seems that he is not in the best shape. After his concussion and multiple other injuries, he should be an easy victim for you. OV: You know, I don't know about these injuries. Quigley may be a whining oaf, but he is also a devious bastard. Perhaps he only fakes these problems, pretending to be injured but indeed only waiting for a possibility to strike when I am distracted. But I am wary of those tactics. My strength will prevail and once I step into the ring with that loud-mouthed punk he will pay for ever doubting my superiority. NH: Who will be the next victim of the Butcher? The next poor idiot to suffer in the slaughterhouse? OV: Just wait and see, just wait and see. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: One thing is certain -- opponents have been injured every time they step into the ring with "The Butcher." After seeing Chris Quigley turn in a mediocre performance Wednesday night, I have to wonder if he will be leaving the IIWF Coliseum on a stretcher tomorrow night. The big Intercontinental Championship matchup between Billy Shakespeare and Tiger Claw takes place tomorrow night LIVE on "IIWF Saturday Night." We've heard from Tiger Claw about this matchup, now let's hear from the challenger. And verily, Billy Shakespeare has plenty on his mind: [SCENE: The old theatre. Billy Shakespeare stands center stage. He is about to launch into a monologue when suddenly a lighting instrument falls and crashes onto the stage.] VOICE FROM ABOVE: Um, sorry about that... BS: Distractions... [He shakes his head at the destroyed stage lamp] ...distractions. I stand upon the brink of the greatest bout of mine career. And lo, my mind is on other things. [He shakes his head quickly as if in an effort to clear it] I am to fight Tiger Claw for the title, but visions of Billy Sexton coming to ringside bother me. Sexton, should this become a reality, no force in heaven or on earth will shield you from my fury. I am to fight Tiger Claw for the title, but I remain preoccupied by the many new arrivals to the IIWF. To rephrase Troilus and Cressida: ...they "smile and mock me, as if I meant naughtily." First was the self proclaimed "Superstar" and the sting-less "Blitz Lightning", now the tragic form of Harlequin claims to know of me not. For all three I present this: Instead of wrestling in every two bit fed in existence, wasting my talents for every whistle-stop backwoods audience, Billy Shakespeare started at the top. You want to face the footlights? Then step into the "Spotlight" and and see what the IIWF is all about. Gad, but I digress again. No more must I be distracted...no more... [Suddenly the lights go out completely.] VOICE FROM THE DARK: Um. Sorry about that Billy. [Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: The Intercontinental Title matchup is also drawing quite a bit of attention from the other wrestlers in the IIWF, as they begin lining up to challenge the winner. One wrestler who wants a shot at the belt -- and especially Tiger Claw -- is The Sandman: [SCENE: Sudley Castle. Lights peer through small holes in the wall and blaze through the large stain glass frames. There is an uneasy silence, except for the echoing caws of ravens. The camera pans across the broken walls and then focuses on the Sandman and Legion.] SM: Tiger Claw, tell me how does it feel, how does it feel to be jumped? Are you surprised? Ha ha... I am always watching... and let's not forget that I am the most crafty person you know. [Legion nods his head in agreement] I didn't work with the Syndicate and the Alliance for nothing. I've always have an ulterior motive. Next I'm going to take your title. Bodybag was the first of the Knights to do it, The Prince of Darkness should rightfully have it, now I'm going to take it and keep it! With the title I'm going to take the honor of your clan and restore the honor to the Eight Devils of Komon. Bet you didn't know I was one of the Eight. [Legion looks surprised] You are not the only one of Asian descent and history. I am deeper then you could ever imagine. With the knowledge of a knight and the roots of the Komon, I am deadly! Our time is coming and nothing you say or do will stop me from taking that title! [The ravens stir and flutter around. Their caws intensify and then die down as they settle] Masters of Pain, the Coroner... what an interesting group. When the Dark Knights are through with you, all you will know is pain. [Sandman chuckles and Legion clenches his fists] You may have had the upper hand, but don't count on that happening again. You all saw what happened to Tiger Claw, don't doubt for one second that I won't do that to you. Who knows, I may have some friends tag along with me. [he looks up at Legion and nods] You are not safe by any means. The sleeper is awakened and the Legion is ready. My word is bond and the Devils of Komon are waiting. I WILL DESTROY! [The ravens stir again. Their caws are ear piercing as they motion toward the moon and darken the sky. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: The Sandman may be assuming that Tiger Claw will regain the Intercontinental belt tomorrow night. But if Billy Shakespeare should walk out with the strap, a nemesis of his will be waiting in the wings for a title shot: [Billy Sexton is seen walking through an Auto Wrecking Yard. Cars are smashing to the ground all around him. Sexton turns to the camera.] BS: A long time ago, you could have called this my home. This is where I learned how to finish a man's career. Shakespeare, baby, we have yet to meet. But oh, my dear opponent, the time will soon be upon you. For you see, when I say that I am going to finish a man's career, I mean it! Shakespeare, soon you will know why I am the Painbringer... why I bring fear into every man's eyes. You and Tiger Claw are facing each other for something that should belong to me... I am the Intercontinental Champion, and soon, baby, you'll find out why! OH YEAH! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: A newcomer who is trying to get himself into title contention is Superstar Stud Stetson. As long as winning -- and not modesty -- is the main prerequisite, Stetson seems to be right on track for a title shot in the near future: [SCENE: Superstar Stud Stetson is seated in a red Corvette with Lace snuggling up against him. His hair is in a ponytail and he is wearing a leather jacket with a black t-shirt which reads "SSWF, It's going to happen!" underneath. He is adorned in his usual ripped blue jeans. Lace is wearing a tight fitting low cut black t-shirt and very short blue jean cut offs.] SS: I can easily be compared to this great vehicle. I am always in the fast lane and leave the competition in the dust. It seems that the IIWF is beginning to realize this. I am raising the ire of some of these superstar wannabes. Dan Kauffman, let me give you fair warning, my simple minded idiot. It seems all these nightmares have plagued your common sense. You are spreading yourself awfully thin and I don't think you want a piece of me, punk. I promise you that if you enter the ring with me it will be the worst nightmare you have ever had to endure. It will be me making an example out of you in front of thousands of your useless fans. They will all look on as I expose you as the imposter Superstar you are. LA: Poor, Poor Kauffman, I fear your days are numbered sweetie. SS: As for the Subway Stench, I guess you really are a psycho. Because you have to be awfully crazy to want to enter the ring again after the beating I gave you. After I am through with you, even your slut Sasha won't know who you are. Which might be a good thing considering how ugly you are now. LA: Maybe I should give Mistress Sasha some facial surgery, Lace style. It would have to improve her from at least horrid to ugly. But of course you're all ugly when compared to a goddess such as myself. [Stetson begins to laugh ] SS: IIWF, it seems you don't realize what you have here. I am not only the greatest Superstar ever but I am the baddest ass there ever will be. I am going to make a lot of noise. I am going to make IIWF a living hell for you poor excuses for wrestlers. Psycho was the first and I can't wait give another victim a Superstar Attack. Because when it comes to Superstars, I put you all to shame! [Stetson starts the car and speeds away as Lace blows a kiss to the camera. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: A THIRD title is on the line tomorrow night when Hiroshi and Ryudo of Rising Sun Revolution put their IIWF Tag Team title belts on the line against Atlas and Apollo Steele -- Heavy Metal. Our Larry Morton is standing by with the Terrors of Tokyo to discuss this matchup. Larry? [Cut to Rising Sun Revolution's training gym. Hiroshi is sparring with a jobber in the background, while Ryudo stands with Larry Morton.] LM: Thanks, Tim. And thank you, Ryudo, for taking the time to speak to us again. You know, everyone in the IIWF at the moment seems intent on, one way or another, wiping out the Revolution's undefeated streak. RY: Yeah. Robo Stone, you're right on one count: All good things must come to an end. But our winning streak? Not just yet. We don't intend to give up our titles without one hell of a fight. [Ryudo pauses for a second as the jobber lets out a strangled scream. Both men look around, to see Hiroshi giving him an airplane spin. Ryudo shakes his head, grinning] Heavy Metal, you could well be considered to be our toughest test here in the IIWF to date. Every match we fight, the opposition gets harder, fiercer and more determined than ever to take the belts from the Dragon and the [there's a loud thud in the background, and Ryudo winces]... Demon. How do we respond? Simple. We work harder. We make sure that we are working together perfectly. Robo Stone, we know how much Atlas and Apollo want the titles. We know, because we've been there. And that makes us all the more determined to keep them. [In the background, Hiroshi runs to the ropes and leaps into the air. There is another loud thud and a brief, punctured scream. Ryudo holds up the championship belt.] This is what it's all about, Larry. Gold. This is why some of the greatest tag teams in the world are flocking to the IIWF. And this is why we won't back down from any challenge, from anyone. [Hiroshi steps down from the ring, wiping his hands, grinning.] Atlas, Apollo, you want the belts? Just try to take them. We're more than ready. [Both men exchange high-fives. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Hiroshi and Ryudo look ready for action as the challenges for the titles continue to mount. Two former champions who would like another shot at those belts are NavCom and DefCon of Armed Forces, although they seem a bit preoccupied with Domination and The Alphabet Boys right now. And after Wednesday night, I could probably add The Players' Club to that list: [SCENE: Aaron the Caddy's offices outside Coral Gables, Fla. NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, sit at a desk with Aaron.] ATC: Well, I've talked to Mr. Mic, and he and I have gotten EVERYTHING sorted out. NC: Yeah, that was just a bad incident. We were mad 'cause the Boys jumped us, they were mad cause they got the shaft... you know how it goes. DC: Yeah, I'm sorry about that little exchange guys. Let's just forget about it and continue on, alright? ATC: Well, I'm glad you and Pain, Inc. are forgetting about the little accident and are back to business as usual. Now, speaking of business... DC: I think I know where this is going. Alphabet Boys...you waltz in here and think you're destruction incarnate. Well, you have another thing comin'. You get into the ring with us... like, for a match instead of a Pier Six brawl, and we'll get it on two on two. And expect the Forces to score the one two three and yet another win over unworthy competition. And let me tell you this. We get jumped again, and expect Pain, Inc. to be there with a couple o' chairs, 'cause they'll be takin' you out! NC: That's right. We've got people watchin' OUR backs for once. We've been getting jumped our whole careers here. Law and Disorder did it, the Drifters and Stunt Team have done it, Domination does it, and now even the Alphabet Boys have done it. Insane people, you guys are goin' down. DC: And what's up with Domination? We demand a match with 'em and what do they do? Out of FEAR, because that's all it was -- fear of us beating you bad in the ring -- you guys hire some thugs to jump us from behind to keep us from beating you fair and square. Well, we ain't buying it anymore! Domination, Alphabet Boys, whoever wants some of this action, you guys just come and get it, because we're takin' on all comers, we want to beat some face in. And we want that GOLD! [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: And it's been awhile since we've seen the Arabian Knights in the ring, but that will change tomorrow night when they take on the ornery Dark Disciples. However, Prince Abdul isn't pleased with the booking committee right now. [SCENE: The Arabian Knights' private jet. The Knights are returning to America after Prince Abdul's father's illness, Mr Kaseem, the Knights manager, is not on the plane] PA: So we have a fight lined up for Saturday night against the Dark Disciples. I must admit that they not my ideal choice for opponents, but they are one of the few teams in the IIWF who possess a modicum of talent, I like their style. But in saying that, I must add that they are no match for the Arabian Knights. We shall again be victorious. [The Prince's expression turns to one of anger.] But the thing that has really angered me, is that _WE_ are on the undercard. How dare President Springbury keep doing this to us? How dare he keep the public from being graced by the presence of royalty on the main card! This situation is simply not good enough and I think if he looks into our contract a bit closer, he will find that I have a clause giving me maximum publicity and attention, and that is what I DEMAND. [The Prince becomes even more agitated.] Yes, yes, not only this, but those lead heads, Heavy Metal are getting a title shot the same night -- the indignation of it all. Is this not the team that we soundly thrashed just a matter of weeks ago? I do not know why President Spookbury keeps giving teams like these title shots they have no chance! Especially seeing as Rising Sun Revolution are always allowed to have Domination in their corner for every match. But then again, this is perhaps the reason why the better teams are held back, so that the President's favorites keep their belts. This, to me, smells of corruption. I have had enough. Omar turn the camera off NOW. [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] ************************************************************************** ---------------- THE DROSS REPORT: WARNETT VS. BYRON ------------------ ************************************************************************** TD: For two weeks now, Marty Warnett and Lord Byron have been debating Byron's true lineage. You may recall that Warnett fired the first volley, bringing me a tape of a blue-collar worker who claimed to be Byron's real father. Byron, of course, refutes this claim and says he was raised in France. Marty Warnett claims to have even more proof and sent us the following tape: [Cut to a shot of a stately English home, the outside of which is crumbling after years of neglect. Weeds spring everywhere, there are broken windows, and the main oak door is hanging off its hinges. Marty Warnett walks into the shot.] MW: You see, Byron, you say spending time and money globe trotting is a waste. Hey, I regularly visit home, so this is no problem for me. I decided to pay a trip to your so-called estate in Lancashire. And guess what I found? This shack. Once a well-regarded mansion, the owners lost their money in a pension scam, and the home went to rack and ruin. Half the estate was the subject of a compulsory purchase order, for only a fraction of the true worth, to build a new motorway bypass. The funny thing is, Byron, the neighbors remember Ernie Postlethwaite -- he was a very popular man in these parts, and they also seem to remember a rather snotty young brat born approximately 26 years ago. You want to act as though you're so much better? Let's just get a little bit of perspective here, Byron. When you're pretending to have tea with the vicar, having your cucumber sandwiches, remember you're nothing more than a fraud ... the evidence is mounting, my friend! You even want to interfere in my bouts! Hit a nerve, did I? Whether you like it, or whether you don't like it, you're going to have to deal with it, baby, coz this Party Maniac is turning up the heat! Whoo! Now, this Saturday I have Fisto Flash. Hey, anybody with a loaded fist is a dangerous opponent. With the fans out there, I can beat anybody, any day. Oh yeah, it's also nice to see the Syndicate members dominating the IIWF rankings -- what's the matter, Lau, having problems? Why don't you call Oprah? [Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: But what of Lord Byron? I must admit that I tend to believe his story after meeting with him and the Lady DeWinter following Midweek Mayhem. And his Lordship even picked up the tab for dinner... but that has nothing with me taking his side now. I mean, Marty Warnett bought me a Big Mac once, but... let's just go to the tape: [The scene opens in a lavishly furnished restaurant. The Lady DeWinter and Lord Byron are seated at a desk, awaiting the arrival of Tim Dross. DeWinter is watching Byron enrapt, as he recites...] LB: 'And on that cheek and 'ore that brow So soft, so calm yet eloquent The smiles that win the tints that glow..... [Tim Dross walks up to table, and, seeing DeWinter put her finger to her lips, politely waits for Byron to finish] LB: But tell of days in goodness spent A mind at peace with all below A heart whose love is innocent.' Ah, Tim. Please, do sit down. I'm glad you accepted my invitation, and I hope you accept this as an apology for my actions earlier this week. You must understand my anger, but my reactions were too harsh, I feel. [Tim nods, and sits down. Byron offers him a toast] LB: To forgiveness and friendship. [everyone takes a sip from their drinks] But you will have to excuse me, Tim for the business side of this evening. There still appears to be some confusion caused by our young friend Mr. Warnett, and so I should like to clear the air, once and for all. [He hands Tim some papers] LB: My birth certificate, and international work permit. Do take time to note the family seal on each, and the various authentication stamps. If you would care to examine the place of birth? TD: [looking at both sheets] Toulouse, France. LB: And the nationality? TD: ...British. LB: And the area of residence? TD: ...Lancashire, England. LB: It's very simple, so simple in fact that I believe even Mr. Warnett should be able to understand it. My parents were both British. They lived in France. I was born in France, yes, but I was educated, Mr. Warnett, in England. My parents died, and I lived with the rest of my family, in Lancashire, England. For the last sixteen years. As for my name, Byron is my family name. The writer, Lord Byron, his name was actually George Gordon. We are unrelated, [Byron smiles] that is, at least to my present knowledge. And as for my quotes of "Ciao," it's force of habit, I'm afraid. After all, my education did include several foreign languages... TD: This all looks in order, but Warnett claimed he had access to official papers also... LB: [sneering] No doubt he did. I'm sure plenty of his friends in the gutter could provide access to all sorts of forged documents if offered the right amount of money. As for your offer of a submission match, Mr. Warnett... I agree entirely. It is time for me to show the IIWF exactly what I am capable of. You wanted a pure technical match? All you had to do was ask, not cook up some ridiculous story. However, lets make this more interesting. How about... The End against the Aristoclutch? Your finisher against mine? No pinfalls, no DQ, no count-out. The only way to win is to make the other submit through your own finisher. [Byron takes on a mocking tone] We can even have it in a steel cage if you wish. And don't worry, Mr. Warnett [Byron sneers and holds up his walking cane] this time, I will leave this in the dressing room. But you may find it helpful to bring some crutches to the ring with you, because I assure you, you will never leave the ring under your own power. But now, Mr. Dross, let us turn from this distasteful matter and enjoy our meal. [A waiter brings the meals. Fade. Cut back to Tim Dross in the studio.] TD: Fans, I have a feeling that this war of words could go on endlessly between Warnett and Byron. It seems that the only way for these two warriors to settle their differences is in the ring -- and if that means a submission match with each man using his finishing move, so be it. I understand a contract has been drawn up to get this match on next week's Midweek Mayhem, so let's hope we can get their signatures on the dotted lines and settle this feud once and for all. [Cut to a new graphic:] ************************************************************************** ---------------------------- IIWF NEW BLOOD ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: The top stars in the world continue to flock to the IIWF because they know that this is where the best talent is. Tonight I can bring you the news of two more entries to the the IIWF roster -- "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder and "High Roller" John McClain. These two newcomers will meet tomorrow night in the IIWF Coliseum. First off, let's meet Brody Thunder: [The camera fades in on a campfire at sundown. A coyote is heard howling in the background under a full moon. A cold voice speaks from off camera.] BT: Well well, well. I bet the Devil must be in shock about now. Ya see, folks... Hell just froze over. That's what your precious IIWF said would happen before they'd let me wrestle here. Well guess what, boys... I'm here. [A large figure steps in front of the camera.He's wearing a black hat, which partially shadows his face,and a long black duster-coat with a red lightning bolt on the left front chest.] I'm here to tell you people and all those so-called superstars of the IIWF that life as you know it just got a whole lot tougher. My name is Brody Thunder. I'm 6' 2'... 267 lbs of all fury and no worries. I was born and raised in the "Town Too Tough to Die"... Tombstone, Arizona. You don't grow up in Tombstone to become no corporate puppet or bleedin' heart liberal pantywaist. No sir, you grow up fast to realize that life ain't fair and you gotta take what you want cuz God doesn't give a man a mark in life... you gotta make your own. [He lights up a cigar.] Now I ain't here to talk. I ain't here to dance and I damn sure didn't come here 'cause I like the weather. I came here for one reason and one reason only... MONEY. And how do I make that money? By winning titles plain and simple. All I ever hear, no matter where I go is "the IIWF is great" or "the IIWF is the best." But when I hear that the IIWF is the TOUGHEST... [Camera gets a tight facial closeup. A sly grin comes across his face.] ...well,that's when ol' Lone Wolf takes notice. I look at the champions you got here in the IIWF and I figure my waist won't be bare for too long. Let's see, you got a champion who calls himself, what was it again...the Tiger Claw? What the hell kinda handle's that?! I'll bet that title brings ya a hefty check, right Claw? Well don't get too comfortable, 'cause if you get in the ring with me son, all you're gonna be is about 10 lbs lighter and in a new tax bracket, comprende, amigo? I ain't playin' any games. I'm in the IIWF to make cash. Plain an' simple. That brings me to the big man on campus in the IIWF... the world champion, Otto What's-his-face. You're in the most trouble near as I can figger, son. You see, you're where I want to be. Now don't get me wrong. I understand that I can't just come into the IIWF and demand a title match. I realize I've gotta stomp a few mudholes in some folks to get your attention. I don't have a problem with proving myself... hell, it's a hobby of mine. What I AM saying is that when my shot comes, you an' I are gonna go to fist city, son, and I'll drag you through Hell and back to get that strap of yours. [He blows a ring of smoke into the air.] Now the IIWF has decided that my first opponent will be John McClain... the so-called "High Roller". Well I've done my share o' gamblin' in this life an' I'm bettin' I'll put your shoulders to the mat for the three count, son. No one, man nor beast, ever got up from the Thunderbolt and I'm bettin' you ain't Superman. Too bad cuz he's about the only one who'd have a chance. You've been dealt a losin' hand,friend.Now you can "hold 'em","fold 'em", hell you can stick 'em for I care, but come Saturday night my hand is gonna get raised an' the entire IIWF is gonna see that the Lone Wolf is the best there is at what he does an' that's wrestle. This ain't no place fer amateurs, son. On the job trainin' can get a man killed in this profession. This is a war. A battle of the mind as well as the body." [Brody puts the cigar out in his open hand.] Name's Brody Thunder, McClain, welcome to the war... [Videotape fades to black. A loud clap of thunder is heard followed by a cold raspy voice...] ...feel free to bleed. [Fade. The following graphics roll on the screen:] "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Height:6'2" Weight:267lbs Orientation: Heel Manager/Valet: None. Origin:"The Town Too Tough to Die" Tombstone, Arizona. Appearance: He wears plain black trunks with his signature emblem of a red thunderbolt on the left front side, He also wears black kneepads, elbowpads and boots. Both wrists are wrapped in alternating black and red electrical tape. Average to muscular build. He is bald and has a 3-day growth-type beard and a Kurt Russell-as-Wyatt Earp moustache which is salt-and-pepper in color. He has steel blue eyes. Theme Music: The theme from "High Plains Drifter." 5 Favorite Moves: 1. Clothesline 2. Fishermen suplex 3. Figure-four leglock 4. Neckbreaker 5. Elbowdrop Finishing Move: "The Thunderbolt" It is a torture-rack-into- shoulderbreaker maneuver. It's usually set up by a series of stiff and devastating clotheslines. Speculation persists that Brody uses a "loaded" elbowpad when delivering these clotheslines. Brody vehemently denies this and there has never been any proof to substantiate the accusations. Primary Attributes: 1. Endurance 2. Intelligence 3. Technical Profile: Brody is 28 yrs old and is considered a seasoned veteran of the ring wars.He is a well educated man though his speech belies that. He is a very calculating person and will take his time to set up his opponent for the kill. He does not understand the concept of quitting.He is a well-versed mat technician in the style of a Dean Malenko but can also brawl like Stan Hansen. He is a master of suplexes, counter-wrestling,and various power moves. He prefers the style of the Andersons [Ole & Arn] in that he will concentrate on a specific body part,usually the shoulder, and render it useless. The Thunderbolt is usually not far behind. He will cheat for a win such as using the ropes for leverage, use chairs, chains, etc. when the situation calls for it. He also delivers the stiffest clotheslines and chairshots since Stan Hansen. He had gain his greatest success as one half of a tag team called "The Desperadoes" with "Crippler" Rip Carson. Tag Team Partner: The only man Brody ever trusted was his former partner, "Crippler" Rip Carson, who is currently wrestling elsewhere. Carson turned on Brody one night and left him in a hospital bed for three months. Brody vows revenge but has since adopted the "lone wolf" philosophy. Brody will form alliances if the price is right or if it is in his best interest to do so. [Handler: Rod Knowles ] TD: Hmmm, he reminds me someone but I can't quite put my finger on it. Anyway, those are some big words from the newcomer. Let's see if he can back them up in the ring. "High Roller" John McClain will also be trying to start his IIWF career on a high note tomorrow night. Will he draw the royal flush or will he get royally flushed? Let's hear from him now: ["High Roller" John McClain stands at a poker table with a dozen people surrounding him and the dealer. After a hand is dealt, McClain looks up at the camera with a confident grin and begins to speak] JM: The IIWF is the place to be, not just to make a name for yourself, but to give you the chance to make yourself a sports icon. Not many people get the shot to join a fed like this. I mean, there has to be some kind of special talent and then you have to put that together with one hell of a confident mentality. Then you got yourself a contract to be signed. Now I've been watching this fed for a month or so now, and there are some very talented individuals. But there's also some no good pieces of... sorry, I shouldn't say that. Now I'm not the type of guy to come out and start challenging every guy in the book because frankly, I already know that I'm good. I just want someone to get into the ring with me to prove me wrong. [A young woman walks up to John and whispers something in his ear. A smile comes across his face. Before he leaves, he gives a few more comments] Okay gents, I gotta go but before I do, I'm not going to give a warning. But I am giving an open contract to anyone that wants to step into the ring with me and test their skills on a "rookie." To me, gambling my win-loss record isn't a game, it's a way of life. [John stands up to leave and throws a card towards the camera as the screen fades to black. The following graphics roll on the screen:] "High Roller" John McClain ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Height: 6'1" Weight: 240lbs Orientation: Face Manager/Valet: None Origin: Las Vegas, Nevada Appearance: Comes to the ring wearing a vest and wrestling tights that have two dice on the butt. When he walks to the ring, dice flash all over the place. Before he wrestles, he takes off his vest, revealing a scar on his right pec. Theme Music: "Gambler" by Kenny Rogers Favourite moves: 1. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker 2. Russian Legsweep 3. Brazilian Armbar 4. Cross Bodyblock from top rope 5. Snap Suplex Finishing move: Royal Flush - Locks leg scissors on opponent's head while grabbing one of their legs and pulling on it, causing unbearable pain. Primary attributes: 1. Toughness 2. Intelligence 3. Technical Profile: John McClain was raised in the gambling world of Las Vegas. He has seen the ups and downs of this lifestyle. When he was young, his parents were mugged and shot by someone who only got $5 from them. After their deaths, John was takin' in by his uncle, a card shark that taught John the tricks of the trade. With his keen eye for tricks and being able to predict what move his opponent was going to make next gave him a knack for the wrestling game. His uncle got him onto the UNLV wrestling team through some connections where John's wrestling career was a booming success. After his college career, John went back to gambling but has since began wrestling in various small feds. He feels that he's ready for the big time, so he's coming to the IIWF to make a name for himself and to prove a point that the eye is quicker than the hand, at least in his case, both are used effectively. [Handler: Jason Satzger ] ************************************************************************** ------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT: A PREVIEW --------------------- ************************************************************************** TD: What a card we have for you tomorrow night, fans! Three... count 'em... THREE titles will be on the line, and the IIWF Coliseum will surely be packed to the rafters. I wonder if that means Harlequin Tragedy won't have a seat. Hehe. Let's take a look at the complete lineup: DARK MATCHES: * Venusian Death Cell vs. Subway Psycho * The Sandman vs. Casey James * "Blitz Lightning" Bobby Lincoln vs. [J] * Pain Inc. vs. [J] * Marty Warnett vs. Fisto Flash * Dark Disciples vs. Arabian Knights LIVE MATCHES: * G.W.R. vs. [J] * "High Roller" John McClain vs. "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder * Man Of Steel vs. Robski * TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH Rising Sun Revolution vs. Heavy Metal * INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Tiger Claw vs. Billy Shakespeare * WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Otto Verhoeven vs. Chris Quigley ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Otto Verhoeven H 11 9 2 0 82% (WC) WC Vacant - - - - - - (-) IC "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 13 6 5 2 54% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer F 20 15 3 2 80% (2) 1 The White Phoenix F 9 7 2 0 78% (1) 2 Billy Shakespeare F 21 15 5 1 75% (3) 3 Dan Kauffman F 20 14 4 2 75% (4) 4 Onslaught F 4 3 1 0 75% (23) 5= Lord Byron H 4 3 1 0 75% (9) 5= Chris Quigley F 11 8 3 0 73% (6) 7 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 14 10 4 0 71% (5) 8 Subway Psycho F 18 12 5 1 69% (7) 9 Billy Sexton H 18 12 6 0 67% (8) 10 The Sandman F 13 8 5 0 62% (10) 11 Hakiro Matsuoko H 21 12 8 1 60% (11) 12 Tiger Claw H 29 16 11 2 59% (12) 13 Casey James H 20 10 8 2 55% (18) 14 Man Of Steel F 24 12 10 2 54% (13) 15 Vinny Cappicola F 12 5 4 3 54% (17) 16 Don Antonio F 19 10 9 0 53% (14) 17 Marty Warnett F 17 9 8 0 53% (21) 18= Robski H 17 9 8 0 53% (19) 18= Mr. Damage H 14 7 7 0 50% (16) 20 Legion F 12 6 6 0 50% (15) 21 Fisto Flash H 21 9 10 2 48% (20) 22 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Venusian Death Cell H 3 3 0 0 100% (22) 23= Steve Kowalski H 3 3 0 0 100% (24) 23= Stud Stetson H 1 1 0 0 100% (25) 25= "Badboy" Mark Bagwell H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 25= Harlequin Tragedy N 1 0 1 0 0% (-) 27 Bobby Lincoln H - - - - - (-) - Brody Thunder H - - - - - (-) - John McClain F - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Hangman H 11 4 4 3 50% (21) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 7 7 0 0 100% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Heavy Metal H 8 6 2 0 75% (1) 1 The Alphabet Boys F 8 5 1 2 75% (2) 2 High Plains Drifters H 19 13 5 1 71% (3) 3 Pain Inc. H 10 7 3 0 70% (4=) 4 The Arabian Knights H 9 6 3 0 67% (4=) 5 The Armed Forces H 17 10 6 1 62% (6) 6 The Zodiac Connection F 11 5 6 0 45% (7) 7 Domination F 2 1 0 1 75% (8) 8 The Dark Disciples H 1 1 0 0 100% (9) 9 The Players' Club F 1 1 0 0 100% (10) 10 GWR N - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Atomic Destroyers H 12 7 4 1 63% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -- COMING TUESDAY: "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH LARRY MORTON & BECKY LaRUE -- ************************************************************************** TD: We're gearing up for an exciting "IIWF Saturday Night" as Steve Roberts and I call all the action from the IIWF Coliseum. Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will be here to bring you all the highlights and interviews next Tuesday on "Inside the IIWF." So until tomorrow night, this is Tim Dross saying goodnight everyone! [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle. The old woman wearing the "Subway Psycho Eye Black" leaps across the aisle and hammers a boy wearing an Otto Verhoeven t-shirt as the "Studio Jobber Squad" rushes in to separate them. The credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+