[An intense rock track accompanies the start of the show. Fade up on footage from the IIWF debut of Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, as he performs his Meat Hook chokeslam on Marty Warnett, nearly driving him through the canvas. Verhoeven gets the easy pin.] VO: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven... since his IIWF debut in August 1996, he has been one of the most dangerous competitors ever seen inside the squared circle. [Cut to footage of Verhoeven battling the Crippler. He yells, and then hoists The Crippler up. He slams the Crippler down onto his knee. Otto goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The ref goes to raise Otto's arm, but Otto pulls away and spits on him. Otto goes out of the ring to join Nurse Heidi.] VO: With such devastating manouevres as the Meat Hook and the Slaughterslam, Verhoeven has become one of the most feared men in the world of wrestling today. However, what makes him even more dangerous is his fiery temper. One man who has felt Verhoeven's wrath more than most is "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. [The rock music picks up tempo, and in time with its crashing chords, the various encounters between Quigley and Verhoeven are shown: in a match between Quigley and Brad Kinder, Kinder nails Quigley from behind, and "Quickstrike" crashes to the arena floor. Together, Verhoeven and Kinder pick Quigley up, and execute a double reverse neckbreaker onto the arena floor.] VO: Bruised... [Footage of Quigley battling Billy Shakespeare in the Cruiserweight Tournament: Verhoeven reaches up and pulls the top rope down, and Quigley against the steel railings. Verhoeven begins putting the boot into Quigley, and Shakespeare bounces against the ropes before launching himself with a somersault over the top rope onto Verhoeven, landing hard on the Butcher, but bringing himself and the huge German down on top of Quigley.] VO: Battered... [Footage of Quigley facing Verhoeven in the ring for the first time: Heidi picks Quigley up, and Verhoeven grabs him by the throat. Big heel pop as Verhoeven executes the Slaughterslam. Heidi jumps up and down, cheering her man on, and Verhoeven picks Quigley up again by the throat. He looks to the crowd, you jeer him, and he shakes his head. Verhoeven grabs Quigley's right leg, and executes an atomic drop on the injured knee.] VO: Beaten... [The screen flashes, and footage of Verhoeven's first IIWF loss, to "Enigma" Takezo Musashi: the crowd pops as Musashi comes off the ropes and executes a flipping leg drop on the back of the big man's head. Musashi goes to the ropes and begins to climb to the top, and Hakiro comes over to push him off. Quigley stops him with a fast thrust kick that floors Matsuoko and runs over to hold down Verhoeven's legs Musashi flies off the top with the Starsault Press, and lands it. The ref goes for the count, not seeing Quigley holding Verhoeven's legs. 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding!] VO: ...but unbowed! Quigley has bounced back from attack after attack, and nothing Verhoeven has thrown at him has been able to stop him. Verhoeven may be the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, and his reign of terror continues unabated, but tonight, Chris Quigley finally gets a chance to even the score. Tonight, Chris Quigley gets a chance at taking the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship. Tonight, on... [The image shatters as the opening graphics spin onto the screen, and the intro music kicks in:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- + LiVE! + IIWF Coliseum + 9 November 1996 + [The opening graphics fade from the screen, revealing the interior of the jam-packed IIWF Coliseum. Fireworks explode high in the rafters of the arena as twenty thousand excited fans cheer and wave their signs and IIWF merchandise. The shot zooms around the arena, catching the swirling colours of the spotlights as they cast their glows on the ring and on the fans. Eventually, the shot comes to rest on the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure, at which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum for another edition of IIWF Saturday Night! We are coming at you _LIVE_ with one of the most incredible nights of wrestling action in the history of the IIWF in store! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me as always is my broadcast colleague, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. We are _guaranteed_ a title change here tonight, folks, as the fate of the vacant Intercontinental Championship will be decided. Either Tiger Claw will become an unprecedented four times IC champ, or Billy Shakespeare will become the first man to hold two different titles in the IIWF. Who are you picking, Steve? SR: Is that a serious question, Dross?! TD: Of course. SR: If you honestly think I'm going to pick Pukespeare, a second-rate Runtweight Champion, over the greatest Intercontinental Champ in IIWF history, you've got another thing coming. Claw's going to wipe the mat with little Willie, Dross. I can't wait. TD: Plus, as you heard at the top of the show, tonight's main event pits "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley against IIWF World Champion Otto Verhoeven, with everything on the line. SR: On the line? Quigley doesn't have a hope of beating Verhoeven for that title, Dross. He's so burned out, he may as well not bother showing up for the match. TD: It's true that Quigley hasn't been his usual self recently -- he's refused interviews, and his in-ring performances have seemed very lacklustre -- but I've got to believe that all the bad blood that exists between these two IIWF superstars is going to give Quigley a second wind here tonight. I think he can do it, Steve. SR: And you probably thought Dole would be the next President, right? TD: Let's not bring politics into this, Steve. In a third championship match right here tonight, IIWF World Tag Team Champs Rising Sun Revolution will be defending their titles against Heavy Metal. SR: Those Rising Damp Retards will be leaving the Coliseum on a box, and Heavy Metal will be just that little bit heavier when they walk back up the aisle with some gold round their waists. TD: We'll see about that. Plus we'll be seeing the debuts of more new superstars to the ring wars: in tag action, we'll get our first look at G.W.R.; and we'll also be seeing the debuts of "High Roller" John McClain and "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder as they square off later on tonight. SR: Thunder really reminds me of someone, Dross. He's going to go far in the IIWF. TD: Don't count McClain out before you've even seen him in action, Steve. Two grudges will also hopefully be settled here tonight, as Man Of Steel attempts to clear his name by taking on Robski, and Steve "the Fury" Kowalski will face Mr. Damage. On top of all that, the guest in LaRue's Lair here tonight will be none other than Dan Kauffman. SR: Becky'll make mincemeat out of that windbag. TD: That could be interesting to see. Okay, folks, before we get up to the ring for tonight's first live match, let's just recap on the action we've already seen before coming on air: - The VENUSIAN DEATH CELL was pinned by the SUBWAY PSYCHO after the Family, Don Antonio and Vinny Cappicola, came down to the ring and distracted the monstrous VDC. Behind the official's back, they played him at his own game and sprayed some kind of green substance into his face, allowing the Psycho to hit his new finisher, the Train Wreck, on his big opponent for the pinfall victory. - CASEY JAMES pulled off another hard-fought victory with a win over the Sandman tonight, thanks to the interference of Tiger Claw. Apparently, the Syndicate is still smarting from the Sandman's attack on Claw last Saturday night. Some say that backstage brawl was responsible for Claw's IC title loss, and Claw certainly seems fired up about revenge. Legion was nowhere to be seen as Claw blindsided the Sandman outside the ring before rolling him back in, where he was subjected to the Black Death. - "BLITZ LIGHTNING" BOBBY LINCOLN took apart NICK NAME in no time at all, hitting him first with the "Blitz Bomb", a somersault legdrop off the top rope, and then with his "Lightning Strike" tilt-a-whirl swinging tiger bomb. After the match, Lincoln had to be restrained from administering a further beating on the unfortunate prelim opponent by a contingent of security personnel. - PAIN INC. blasted their way to victory over THE BARNACLE BROTHERS despite the injuries of Morningstar, who, despite a miraculous, and some might say highly improbable or downright implausible, recovery following the attack from Domination on Wednesday night, didn't look to good in the ring tonight. Hellraiser in fact carried the team throughout, hitting one of the Barnacles with a huge powerbomb from the top for the victory. - MARTY WARNETT pulled off a victory over the beleaguered FISTO FLASH. Although Lord Byron is not in the building tonight, and thus couldn't cost Warnett the match, the same couldn't be said for Onslaught, who came down to the ring and clipped Fisto's knee outside the ring, making Warnett's "The End" figure four leglock intolerably painful. Flash didn't submit, but the referee stopped the match because it was clear that the Iron Destroyer couldn't continue. One has to wonder when the war between Fisto Flash and Onslaught will ever end? - The match between the DARK DISCIPLES and the ARABIAN KNIGHTS never even got underway, due to another attack from the marauding mavericks, Domination, who seem to have taken it upon themselves to be a two-man wrecking crew in the IIWF's tag team division. They jumped the Disciples backstage, and a vicious brawl broke out between the two which spilled out of the locker rooms and into the Coliseum's parking lot. Apparently, several cars were damaged, with headlights being smashed, bodywork dented, and so on. Neither team, amazingly, was badly injured, although Mr. Psycho did sustain a nasty gash above his right eye from some broken glass, which needed medical attention. Something is going to have to be done about the insanity in the tag team ranks at present, Steve. SR: I say that we should just lock them up in a room until there's only one team standing. Chances are it would be Pain Inc. or the Dark Disciples remaining when the smoke clears. TD: You could be right. It seems Domination aren't afraid of taking the fight to anybody, though, no matter what the personal cost might be. SR: I think that's probably got something to do with their lack of brains, Dross. They're too stupid to realise that sooner, rather than later, they're going to be given one right royal ass-kicking by the teams they keep jumping. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Let's get up to the ring for tonight's first match! We've heard quite a bit about G.W.R. since they arrived in the IIWF a couple of weeks ago, but we've yet to see them in action. Right now, that's going to change, as they go up against the Rotundos. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= G.W.R. vs. The Rotundos =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring, which is already straining under the weight of the grotesque Rotundos.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team attraction is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, in association with Slim Slam, the diet programme that _really_ works, at a combined weight of 942lbs, here are... the Rotundos! [The obese Rotundos raise their arms to the crowd, and one of them splits the seam in his Slim Slam-sponsored singlet. The crowd laugh.] SR: I have a feeling that this Slim Slam stuff is not all it's cracked up to be, Dross. TD: Sure it is, Steve... uh, a delicious shake for breakfast, one for lunch, and a proper dinner. Plus there's now new... uh, Slim Slam snacks, including a rabbit bran bar an... SR: Quit reading that, Dross. I can't believe how easily the IIWF will sell its soul to just about any old product in exchange for a few greenbacks. TD: It's a fiercely competitive market economy, Steve. The IIWF has to compete. RA: And introducing their opponents, making their IIWF debuts, accompanied to the ring by General Kane, at a combined weight of 545lbs, here are Spoiler and Loco... G. W. R.! [Mixed pop for G.W.R. as they appear at the head of the aisle to the strains of "Steam" by Peter Gabriel. Spoiler has short hair, blue eyes and is handsome. Loco looks similar, but is chubbier. Ring attire is plain full length black tights, with pictures of trains on the side. Kane wears a smart suit, and sunglasses, and walks behind his men as they make their way to the ring, apparently uncaring of the fans' attitude, whether it be one of support or denigration. They calmly walk into the ring, and Loco elects to start things off for G.W.R. against Rotundo #1. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: Okay, fans, we're underway here! [Loco charges his overweight opponent, who seems to be picking something out of his teeth. Loco takes him down with a Steinerline, and then stomps on him. The Rotundo gets to his feet, apparently unhurt by the blows, but is staggered by some hard right hands to the face. Loco tags in Spoiler, who hits the big man in the face with a dropkick. The Rotundo is staggered, and sits backwards in his corner, tagging his partner as he does so. Rotundo #2 enters the ring, and the referee attempts to remove his partner, but Rotundo #1 appears to find it hard to stand. Meanwhile, the second Rotundo is backed into the corner by Spoiler, who whips him across the ring. Rotundo #2 hits the opposite corner with tremendous force.] TD: Wow! The ring just moved about three inches! SR: The earth moves every time those two bloated blowhards get in the ring. TD: Hey, at the head of the aisle -- it's the Players' Club! [Pop as "Desirable" Danny Dynamite and Michael "Maverick" Reyna walk out into the head of the aisle. They stand together, watching the match and conferring. Meanwhile, in the ring, Spoiler has tagged back out, and Loco takes Rotundo #2 off his feet with a big splash off the ropes. Loco tags in Spoiler, and then piledrives his partner onto the obese Rotundo! Big pop as Spoiler makes the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners, as the result of a pinfall: G.W.R.! TD: Wow! What kind of a move was that?! SR: That was the "End of the Line", Dross. There aren't many teams so committed to the pursuit of victory that they're prepared to use themselves as weapons to that degree, but G.W.R. are one of them. They're certainly more than a match for the Players' Club. TD: I don't know about that, Steve. [G.W.R. make their way back up the aisle, and have words with the Players' Club, but the two teams leave without incident.] SR: What is it those guys play, anyway? Tiddlywinks? TD: I don't think so, Steve. Well, that was an impressive debut for G.W.R. Before we get up to the ring for another match involving newcomers to the IIWF, let's go to some comments from the controversial partnership of the Universal Powers, who had some... shall we say, interesting... comments for us last week: [Cut to the Universal Power Production TV Studio. The scene is the set of the Universal Power Show, with Bobby Lincoln. The cameras are on, and the show is joined in progress.] BOBBY: You know, Todd. That IIWF has annoyed me lately. "Spotlight", errr... "Target" Billy Williams, or as he likes to call himself Shakespeare. Too many "B's," Billy. Try these "b's," you English dumbass. Beating, bruises, bone-breaking, and of course, since you're like most of those faces here, blowjobs to el Presidente Spreadbury. TODD: That brings us to our next topic. BOBBY: Ever wonder why we, the BAD GUYS don't get a fair share around here? That's because the President kisses all the fans' butts, and NEVER, EVER gives us a fair share. Why do you think our fellow Californian, Simon Lebec, left? That [bleep] called a President, who abuses his powers WEEKLY, doesn't give us a fair shake. That's why, being an election year, I call to all of you wrestlers, it's time for a new president, and I think that we should bring back the REAL man who would whip the IIWF into shape. Your friend, and mine, SIMON LEBEC FOR PRESIDENT!!!!! TODD: Hey, who else could jumpstart this federation back into the way it SHOULD be run? Look at the many bad decisions this chump, Spreadbury, has made. All of them bad. He released the greatest superstar to grace the IIWF, just so he wouldn't have his crybaby meal ticket, Quigley, from leaving. "Queerboy" Quigley, we'll get to you in a minute, but Spreadbury, you biased [bleep]. Do us all a favor, and RESIGN FROM OFFICE! You clearly don't have the skills to run this federation, and as most of the "bad guys" here can attest, from DAY ONE, your agenda was to bring US down. BOBBY: Next subject, the debut of the Diners' Club, with Dan "Flash in the Pan" Kauffman. Do the words, "I'm shaking in my boots" mean anything. YEAH, RIGHT! These three rejects can't even beat a loser team we DESTROYED called Twisted Steel and Sex Appeal. And yes, fans, that name does not even apply to the members of that team either. Kauffman, you're lucky that your friend, the President, WOULDN'T let us into the building at the last card, or you and your Diners' Club would be hitting the hospital ONE-WAY! TODD: Diners' Club, the card that keeps on giving. "Flash in the Pan," "Run-Me-Over-ya," and "Just a Gigalo" Dyna-dork, I hope you can contact Mr. Savalas, because after we get done with you... you'll need that Diners' Club card, TO PAY FOR YOUR DAMN HOSPITAL BILL!! BOBBY: Finally, "Queer-strike" Quigley. I'm starting to like this Verheoven fella. He stretchered the un-stretcherable Quigley. I'm surprised the President hasn't fined or fired Verhoeven yet, for attacking his best friend, Quigley. You can tell why the President don't want US here now... we'll kill one of his blowjobbers and his meal ticket in one BIG CRIPPLING!! TODD: You see, our last INTERVIEW, the President, like what he did with our friend, Simon Lebec, EDITED the HELL out of it. You see, we can't get a fair shake here. President Spreadbury has all the face wrestlers in his god-damn lap. Now, if we have to, we'll break the President in half, and put a REAL man in power, like the man we will sponsor for the Presidency of the IIWF. BOBBY: Spread the word around, "bad guys." If you want a REAL President, VOTE SIMON LEBEC FOR IIWF PRESIDENT! Contributions to the "Lebec for President" campaign can be made to this studio, and we will take personal donations as well. TODD: REMEMBER -- LEBEC FOR IIWF PRESIDENT IN '96!! ANNOUNCER: This segment has been brought to you by the "Simon Lebec for President" campaign, and the Chris Quigley retirement fund. [Fade. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: How absolutely preposterous. SR: What do you mean, Dross? I think those two have a good point. It's about time we had somebody in the front office who we could count on as being reliable. The problem with ol' Dictator Danny is that he's just too inconsistent, and he always sells out to the highest bidder. TD: Please, Steve, let's not have any more talk about the integrity of the IIWF President. It's time to get back up to the ring for the debuts of two more IIWF superstars pitted against one another in their first match -- "High Roller" John McClain takes on the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "High Roller" John McClain vs. "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Two newcomers to the IIWF are going to be facing each other in this match. What do you think, Steve? SR: Well, the Lone Wolf has some traits that I think will serve him some good here, so I'm going to have to go with him. If I wanted gambling, I'd hang out with the Man of Steel. TD: Let's not get into that right now, Steve. Lone Wolf definitely has some of the traits that were seen in future IIWF Hall Of Famer, Outlaw J.W. Hardin. SR: Hey, those cowboys are tough hombres. It's just the way of the West. TD: Well, I'm going to have to see his performance before I have an opinion of him. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 240 lbs, and hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, here is "High Roller" John McClain! ["The Gambler" by Kenny Rodgers plays over the PA, and the crowd gives a moderate pop as the High Roller appears at the head of the aisle. The lights dim, and the image of dice flash all about the aisle and the ring. John McClain walks the aisle wearing a vest and his wrestling trunks, which have two dice on the backside. he enters the ring, and he goes through the motions of rolling dice and throwing them. the lights come up as he does so. He takes off his vest, revealing a scar on the right side of his chest.] TD: I bet there's a story behind that scar. SR: Yeah, Man Of Steel probably stabbed him when he lost his shirt at the craps table against him. TD: [sighs] RA: His opponent, weighing in at 267 lbs and hailing from Tombstone, Arizona, "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder! [The crowd gives a heel pop as Thunder walks out to the head of the aisle. His entrance is modest, and his appearance is just the same. Wearing plain black trunks with a thunderbolt on the back, shaved head and semi-handlebar moustache, he walks to the ring, ignoring the fans.] SR: This guy's going to really make the IIWF sit up and be at the ready. TD: I think he may be taking our top brass a little too lightly, though. That could be his downfall. SR: Well, I know a few IIWF "top brass" that could use a good thrashing. [Both men are in the ring, and the ref calls for the bell. The two men lock up, and Thunder pushes McClain to the mat. McClain gets up, and the two lock up again. McClain gets the upper hand, which he uses to slap Thunder across the face. Thunder gives a hearty laugh, and wags his finger at McClain before locking up again. Thunder switches the lock up around to slam McClain down into a neckbreaker, and McClain holds his neck in pain. Thunder capitalizes with a reverse Chin lock, which McClain quickly powers out of. The two men stare at each other in the middle of the ring.] TD: These are two tough men... SR: But wait... I think Thunder will prevail. He's got that cagey ring veteran look. TD: Didn't we go through this last week? [Thunder laughs again and holds his hand out to McClain. McClain looks to the crowd, who gives a collective "NO!" McClain waves Thunder off and turns his back, giving Thunder opportunity for an attack. Thunder rushes, but McClain quickly turns around and kicks Thunder in the midsection. Thunder doubles over, and McClain executes a snap suplex on the cowboy. Thunder hits the mat, and McClain rushes in for the cover... 1 - Kickout by Thunder. McClain gets up, and drags the cowboy to his feet, only to execute a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. McClain turns to the crowd, who seem to be behind him, but misses Thunder fishing in his trunks for something.] TD: What's he doing? SR: Well, Dross... It's, ummm, hard to find, ummm, support in the ring... He's, uh... TD: Getting an object from his trunks! SR: Oh, now come on... [Thunder pulls out a pair of good ol' fashioned "knuckle dusters" from his trunks, and lays on the mat, waiting for McClain. McClain walks over to drag Thunder up, and catches a loaded right hand to the jaw. McClain drops like a sack of wet mice, and the ref checks the fallen gambler. Thunder uses the opportunity to throw the object away, and the crowd gives a solid heel pop. Thunder smiles and adjusts his elbow pad, then drags McClain up to his feet. McClain seems groggy, but becomes close to unconscious when Thunder smacks him with a lariat that sends both men to the mat. Thunder goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding! Ding! Heel Pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner, as a result of a pinfall, "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder! TD: What a miscarriage of justice! It was obvious that Thunder used a pair of brass knuckles for the win! SR: I didn't see that... TD: Okay, "knuckle dusters..." SR: Oh, _that_... So? TD: I give up... Fans, Larry Morton is with us here tonight in the backstage area, and he's going to try and get an interview with the challenger for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship in tonight's main event, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton standing in a corridor backstage.] LM: Thanks, Tim. I'm outside the locker room of Chris Quigley now, but he's refusing to answer the door. From what I hear, there's a possibility that Quigley might not be in any condition to wrestle tonight. Somebody close to Quigley tells me that a number of minor injuries have been compounded by post-concussion stress, and that he is suffering quite badly, although he refuses to admit it. I'll continue to try and get a word with Quigley throughout the broadcast, but for now, back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: It seems that Quigley's really been running himself down in recent weeks, Steve. SR: Yeah, and the guy's ego is so big that he won't even accept that he needs to take some time off. If he tries to wrestle Verhoeven tonight, it could be the end of his career. So more power to his elbow, I say. TD: Please, Steve, try to be nice. Well, folks, you'll remember the shocking allegations made by Robski ten days ago on Midweek Mayhem concerning the Man Of Steel. SR: Shocking? Not really, Dross. Steel is an alcoholic, a pusher an... TD: [interrupting] That's enough, Steve. In any case, tonight, the Man Of Steel, whose popularity has really taken a dive since Robski's verbal assault, has one last chance to redeem himself as he faces the English Sensation one on one in the ring. SR: That's if he's sober enough to get into the ring. TD: I don't think those allegations are true. Look at the source. SR: What are you saying? TD: Robski isn't exactly the place you should be getting news flashes. SR: I don't see why not... He's an upstanding guy. TD: ...that engages in arms trading with hostile nations. Come on, Steve. SR: Hey, Robski's not the one hanging around with hookers, buying drugs, and drinking himself into a coma... TD: [sighs] Let's get down to ringside. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Man Of Steel vs. Robski =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is sceduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 335 lbs and hailing from Birmingham, England, here is the English Sensation, Robski! [The crowd gives a heel pop, and Robski steps out to the head of the aisle. He stands there for a moment, letting his eye wander over the crowd, then smiles and shakes his head. He bows down, and comes back up with a fully extended double-finger salute.] SR: What a classy guy. TD: Steve, I don't think you'd know class if it was wearing a sign that said "Hello, I'm class," bit you on the nose, and made classy noises in your face. SR: And you would... That toupee would beg to differ... It would also beg for food if given the chance. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 227lbs, and hailing from Kansas, The Man Of Steeeeeeel!!! [The crowd gives a mixed pop that's a little on the heel side, and Man Of Steel comes out to the aisle. He raises his arms, but hears the crowd reaction, and just bows his head. He walks up the aisle with a depressed look on his face.] TD: Man Of Steel looks like he's really taking the crowd reaction badly. SR: Yes... I'm surprised. You'd think he would have no problem getting a hold of some anti-depressants or something. TD: Stop that... Just stop. There's no reason to believe any of the allegations made by Robski and Casey James. SR: Give me one good reason, and I'll believe you. [MOS gets into the ring, and Robski immediately starts berating him. MOS seems to shrink at each word. Robski finishes off with "You should be ashamed of yourself" and slaps MOS across the face. MOS rocks back from the blow, and a hint of anger shows in his face. He comes back with a hard right hand, but Robski seems unaffected enough to clothesline MOS to the canvas. Robski jumps back up and drops a knee to MOS's head, then drags him up. He executes a gutwrench suplex, taking the air out of MOS. Robski once again jumps up and showboats to the crowd, which gets a loud heel pop. Robski waves the crowd off, and turns back to his opponent. MOS has got back on to his feet and hits with a dropkick, staggering the big Englishman. Another dropkick sends Robski into the ropes, and MOS throws Robski to the other side. MOS ducks his head for a back body drop, but Robski cathes on and kicks MOS right in the face. MOS falls backward, clutching his face.] TD: There's no call for that! MOS might not be fully recovered from his accident! SR: What, MOS had an accident? It's been a long time since I've seen a grown man wet himself. TD: That _car_ accident, Steve. SR: Well, you never know with these drunks... [Robski stomps a few times around MOS's face, then picks him up again. He backs MOS into a corner, then throws him to the opposite side. MOS hits the tunbuckles with a good deal of force, and bounces out. Robski comes off the ropes and drives MOS's face into the mat with a bulldog. Big heel pop. Robski drinks it up, then drops a leg on the back of MOS's head. MOS lies somewhat still on the mat, face down, and Robski begins shouting insults at him, calling him a delinquent, a pervert, and an addict. MOS gets to his hands and knees and tries to shake the cobwebs out, but falls once again onto his face.] TD: I think MOS might be hurt here. SR: Serves him right... The lush... [Robski drags MOS up and drives him back down into the mat with a jacknife powerbomb, and the crowd gives a big heel pop. Robski goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Robski pulls Steel's shoulder up to break the count. The ref warns Robski about his actions, but Robski just tells him to shut up. Robski again drives MOS into the mat with another powerbomb. The heel pop gets louder. Robski drags MOS up again, and lifts MOS up in a reverse powerbomb position.] TD: NO! This could finish MOS off for good! SR: You'd be surprised how much it takes to put out a drug addict and a drunk, Dross. [Robski drives MOS down face first into the canvas, which seems to put MOS out like a light. The heel pop is almost deafening as Robski puts one foot on MOS for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge Heel pop! The ref goes to raise Robski's arm, but he pulls away and begins stomping on the face of Man Of Steel.] TD: This has got to stop. Someone has to call a medical crew. I think Man Of Steel is really hurt here. SR: For once I think you're right. But that's what happens when you're partying the whole night before a match. TD: Will you just cut it out for a moment? [Robski, looking pleased with his work, leaves the ring, and a medical crew rushes down to ringside. Robski gets in front of them, holding his arms out and shaking his head. After some time, Bibbo Bibowski comes out into the aisle and pushes Robski out of the way. The medical crew gets through, and Robski laughs. Trash starts getting thrown from the crowd at Robski, and he leaves the aisle. The medical crew enters the ring and tends to Steel.] TD: I sure hope he's okay... SR: Well, you know... TD: [interrupting] I think we've had enough of your comments, Steve. [The crew puts MOS on a stretcher, and immobilise his head. A close-up shot reveals blood coming from Steel's now crooked nose, and some nasty marks about his face. The camera pulls away, and the crew carry MOS up the aisle and out to the backstage area.] TD: That didn't look to good. Man of Steel's face was just healing from that car accident. I think Robski had this planned from the start. SR: Not to mention that MOS was trying to kick his habit with the painkillers... This won't help at all. TD: Fans, I want to apologize for the crass comments from Steve Roberts. SR: What? What's the deal? I'm a journalist! I'm supposed to uncover the truth! TD: Exactly. You should be ashamed. SR: Huh? TD: Folks, let's go up to Becky LaRue for this week's edition of LaRue's Lair. Becky's guest this week is none other than that tormented soul, Dan Kauffman. Over to you, Becky. [The spotlights swirl over the "LaRue's Lair" set. A chant of "Becky... Becky..." begins from the adoring fans. Becky LaRue steps out to a huge roar of support. She still wears her sunglasses from Wednesday. She struts a few times then settles into her chaise longue. Dan Kauffman's music begins and he enters, waving, to a supportive audience. He gives a thumbs up to a huge "Get well Joe!" sign. The camera pans a juvenile section wearing t-shirts emblazoned "FLASH". Cut back to Becky.] BL: They said he wouldn't have the nerve to show up, but what Becky wants... Becky gets. First off...The Players' Club? It sounds like a charge card. DK: [Laughs the remark off] Oh, I can just tell that I'm going to enjoy this interview... Look, the Players' Club is a group of some of the finest cruiserweight wrestlers in the world today. Not just myself, but Dynamite and Reyna are damned good wrestlers, and there are two other members. They just haven't spread across the fed gaps like us three have. Trust me, the Players' Club will make a lot of noise. BL: Swell, more noise promised from Kauffman. Which do you change more, your allies or your theme music? DK: As far as allies go, in this business, you can never trust anyone. Not your tag partner, not a manager, not your friends, nobody. The sport of wrestling is one of plots and stabs in the back. I know that better than anyone else, Becky. If you want to fight with me, great. If you're against me, that's wrestling. As far as theme music goes, I think it'd get boring coming out time after time to the same music. Simple enough. BL: And trust me fans, the man is an expert on boring. Last week, Mr. Damage had some harsh things to say. How many of them are right? DK: Well, I think everyone KNOWS that I am a capable wrestler... not least Damage himself, who found out first-hand on Wednesday night. We can drop that charge against me right now. The world will be a better place WITHOUT me? [Shakes his head] Logic always seems to prevail in the world of wrestling. [Shakes his head some more] Damage, you can't know me that well. I've bled in the ring, I've had four injured ribs, I went through three matches in ONE night back at Coronation Clash while practically crippled! Granted, I'm not the same wrestler right now, but if you want to question my toughness, you're barking down the wrong tree. BL: Any thoughts on who this Million Dollar bounty comes from? DK: I could name some names. It could come from the Universal Powers. Those two and I have had words in the past, and they'd LOVE to get rid of me. It could be Cadaver, though I'd doubt that. Cadaver could just get rid of me himself, let's be honest. Hell, for all I know, it could be Brad Kinder. [Becky brightens momentarily] He's away, and I know Kinder doesn't like me very much. And if it's Kinder, than maybe YOU are involved, Becky. I just don't know. Or it could be Chris Quigley, maybe Dan Spreadbury... Who knows? BL: ME? You jest! I don't have to pay to get men to do favors for me. Which makes me wonder, who is disliked more: you, Chris Quigley or Marty Warnett? DK: By the fans, none of us are hated. You know, someone will always carry a grudge against you because you are different from them. That's a human truth and a reality. You can hate me, love me, even slander me if you want. See if I care. Again, hate is part of wrestling. If I couldn't take it, I wouldn't be in this business. BL: Are you EVER going to win a title? DK: I've said all along, I'm not in wrestling to win titles. I'm in wrestling to gain respect. I've done that. I haven't gotten everyone's respect, but I HAVE gotten most people's respect. When the titles come, they come, and when they do, I'll represent the IIWF the best I can. BL: Yeah, yeah, "belts mean nothing." Blah...blah...blah... [Kauffman bears Becky's insult with class] If I asked you to give up your career and go into broadcasting, would you? DK: To be honest, I thought about leaving the sport altogether about a month ago, but I couldn't do that. I'd have too many questions about "Could I have done this?" or "Do I have what it takes?" If Cadaver ends my career, then at least I'll know I was put out while trying. So the answer to that question is no. BL: Any truth to the rumor I just started that Ginny Drury is your sister? DK: [Laughs] No. Just a real close friend. Didn't I say she is also my ex? Now don't start insinuating things, Becky. I won't hit you, but I WILL tell everyone about that night in Seattle you had with... well... you know who... [grins] BL: *AHEM* With all these new additions to the IIWF, which one scares you the most? DK: The only person that scares me is Cadaver. As far as recent newcomers, I thought that Mike Stewart would be a good one, but he decided to retire. That was surprising. Otto is a tough nut to crack. Then Marty Warnett is becoming better every time out. Lord Byron and I have seen a little of each other in the FWLI, so we're familiar. There's a lot of young talent. You've really got to be on top of your game in the IIWF nowadays. [A palpable tension is suddenly felt throughout the Coliseum. There is much hushed whispering and some pointing.] TD: [over the headset] Oh-oh. Behind the podium... look, Steve. SR: [over the headset] Shut it, Dross. BL: [Smirking, as a figure steps from the darkness and stands behind Kauffman] What would you do if Cadaver showed up right now? DK: [Pauses] I really don't know, Becky. For all I'd know, I'd probably freeze up again. It's ridiculous, but it's just something that he does to me. I wish I had the answer, but I don't. Logic doesn't solve everything. [A heavy hand drops on Kaufman's shoulder. He casually looks back, then does a classic double-take when he beholds the macabre figure of Cadaver behind him. Trained reflexes take over and Kauffman instinctivly does a forward roll out of his chair and into a fighting stance. Suddenly, his rational mind returns and he spins madly looking for something to hide behind. That ends up being Becky, who is laughing maniacally.] Cadaver: [Hollowly] Ashes to ashes... [Slowly he steps back into the darkness, ignoring the jeers of the fans, and shoving any who happen to get in his way.] BL: [barely composing herself] You were...snort...saying? DK: [Hyperventilating slightly] If you _ever_ set me up like that again... BL: Oooh, or you'll hit me? DK: [With immediate ferocity that suprises even Becky] No. Anyone that does belongs in jail. This interview is over. [He hooks his finger in Becky's necklace, twists it quickly, sending pearls cascading across the Coliseum floor. He exits to a suprising pop.] BL: [Screaming] YOU SON OF A BI... [Becky's mic is abruptly cut off. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Well, that was an informative interview, as always. Becky will be back next week with another special guest in her lair. Right now, however, it's time to decide the IIWF's next Intercontinental Champion! You'll remember that after last week's incredible match between Billy Shakespeare and Tiger Claw, the title was vacated. Let's go to footage of the closing moments now: [Cut to footage from last week's IIWF Saturday Night: Shakespeare practically drags the official back into the ring, and again makes the cover on Claw - 1 - 2 - Claw kicks out! Big disappointed pop from the crowd. Shakespeare argues with the official, clearly frustrated, while Claw manages to get to his feet and nails Shakespeare from behind. He attempts a back suplex on Billy, but Shakespeare blocks by wrapping his leg in Claw's legs. Claw puts him down again, and Shakespeare spins around, nailing Claw with a wild right hand. The force of the blow makes Claw spin around, and Shakespeare grabs him from behind, executing a quick German suplex on the champion. However, he fails to bridge correctly, and both men's shoulders are down! The referee looks confused for a moment, and then makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The crowd erupt with a huge pop! Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Billy Shakespeare was originally declared the new champion by the referee, but the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee ruled that the match was a draw, and that the title should be vacated pending a rematch. And that rematch is coming right up! SR: It's a mere formality, Dross. Claw's going to splatter Shakespeare all over the ring. TD: Let's find out! This should be a fantastic match, folks. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Tiger Claw vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare --------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the glare of the ring lighting and raises his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for the vacant IIWF Intercontinental Championship! Introducing first, led to the ring by Brian Lau, hailing from Thailand, and weighing in at 220lbs, here is: Tiger Claw! [Big heel pop for the Syndicate duo as they appear at the top of the aisle. Claw walks silently down to the ring, looking the epitome of focus. Lau seems distracted and irritable as he accompanies his meal ticket to the ring, shouting at the jeering fans. Claw climbs the ringsteps, and steps between the ropes, going through his pre-match ritual in the corner of the ring, which is lit with the words "Tiger Claw" in Thai.] TD: Brian Lau doesn't look to be a happy man tonight, Steve. SR: With good reason, Dross. For starters, this match shouldn't even be taking place. You know as well as I do that Shakespeare pinned himself last week, plain and simple. Claw should still be the champion. TD: I don't know about tha... SR: Don't interrupt me, Dross. Secondly, with Hakiro Matsuoko apparently doing a Joe Latta and losing his killer instinct, he's got a real battle on his hands just keeping the Syndicate together. Winning back the Intercontinental Championship tonight will go a long way to reestablishing the Syndicate as a force to be reckoned with. TD: [pause] Are you finished yet? SR: Yeah. TD: Well, as I was going to sa... SR: Shut it, Dross. Sparkplug's going to introduce the pretender to the crown. TD: [sighs] RA: And introducing his opponent: hailing from Ashland, Oregon, and weighing in at 220lbs, here is: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [Huge pop as the lights in the arena drop save for a single spotlight which casts an angled shaft of brilliant light down into the aisle. Dry ice begins to pour from the entranceway as Billy Shakespeare steps out into view.] TD: "Soft, what light through yonder window breaks?" SR: You what?! TD: It's Shakespeare, Steve. SR: I can see that. I want to know what you're talking about. TD: No, the quote was Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet, Ac... SR: Shut it, Dross, or it'll be your head that's softly breaking through yonder window. [Billy Shakespeare bows to the excited crowd and steps out of the spotlight into the aisle, which is illuminated by tragi-comedy masks spinning on the arena floor. He hi-fives the fans on his way to the ring, and bows to Claw as he enters the ring. The referee signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding! The two men circle each other, and then lock up collar and elbow. Claw immediately jabs Shakespeare in the throat with a martial arts thrust outside the official's line of vision. Shakespeare staggers backwards, and Claw immediately clotheslines him to the mat. He drops a knee on Billy's throat, and then drags him to his feet. He whips his opponent into the ropes, and catches him with a clothesline. Shakespeare goes down, and rolls to the outside. Claw follows him out, and continues to work on him with chops and European uppercuts. Claw lines Billy up, and executes a spectacular roundhouse kick on his opponent, knocking him into the steel crowd barrier. Shakespeare goes down on the steel throat-first, and rolls someway up the aisle.] TD: This is brutal! Tiger Claw doesn't want to outwrestle Billy Shakespeare, he wants to maim him! SR: Claw's going to take out his frustrations with Matsuoko on Little Willie. And there's nothing he can do about it! This is great! TD: If this match ends in a countout, we still won't have an Intercontinental Champion. These men have got to get back into the ring. [The referee's count reaches five, and Brian Lau leaps up onto the apron to distract the official and thus break the count. Heel pop! In the aisle, Claw continues to work on Shakespeare, whipping him into the crowd barriers, nearly breaking the legs of the fans in the front row. Suddenly, there is a huge pop as the Subway Psycho sprints out from the locker room area and attacks Claw!] TD: Yes! The Subway Psycho comes to the rescue! SR: I guess these hair-brained morons must have some kind of "Retards Union" which they all belong to. It seems everybody is watching everybody else's backs these days. [The official continues to be distracted by Lau while the Psycho keeps Claw at bay in the aisle. Shakespeare crouches, fighting for breath, while the brawl goes on. Suddenly, however, a huge figure in a tracksuit vaults over the crowd barrier and starts assisting Claw in beating on the Psycho. Huge heel pop!] TD: It's Verhoeven! This is unbelievable! This match has hardly been underway for two minutes, and already we've got the Subway Psycho and Otto Verhoeven out here! This is chaos! [A security team, bolstered by the presence of the Jobber Justice Squad, dash down the aisle and attempt to drag Verhoeven and the Psycho away. Claw turns his attentions back to Shakespeare as Verhoeven and the Psycho continue to take shots at one another. Various security personnel are felled as they try to separate the two heavyweights, but eventually, they restrain the athletes sufficiently to drag them back into the locker room area.] TD: You've got to believe that the Psycho and Verhoeven are destined to meet in the squared circle in the very near future, Steve. SR: Surely not, Dross... You moron. TD: Please, try to be nice. [Meanwhile, Claw drags Shakespeare to his feet, and attempts to level him with a chop, but Billy blocks, and fires back with a shot to Claw's gut. Big pop! Claw is doubled over, and Shakespeare rams his knee into Claw's forehead. The Thai boxer goes down, and Shakespeare drags his opponent back towards the ring, where the referee's count has begun once more. The count reaches six as Shakespeare, having rammed Claw's head into any ringside object that comes to hand on his way back to the ring, throws his opponent back under the bottom rope. However, as he attempts to follow Claw in, his progress is impeded by a hand that appears from under the ring and grabs his foot. The count reaches eight, and Shakespeare looks under the ring to find out whom the hand belongs to.] TD: This is ridiculous! Who else is there left to be interfering in this match?! SR: Try "Painbringer" Billy Sexton on for size, Dross. [Big heel pop as Shakespeare drags Sexton out from under the ring, and begins brawling with him at ringside. The referee signals for the bell! Huge heel pop! Billy continues to fight for his life on the outside, and the referee signals for the bell once more. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: What's going on?! Please don't tell me we've got another controversial decision here... [The bell continues to ring until a security team dashes down to the ring to separate Sexton and Shakespeare. Eventually, Sexton is dragged away from ringside, and Billy slumps against the ring apron, exhausted.] TD: Let's get the official word here... Heaven knows what's going on... [The referee confers with Sparkplug Lee, who makes an announcement once the crowd settles:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... as the result of a countout: Tiger Claw! [Huge heel pop as Claw's arm is raised in victory! The referee signals to a ring attendant for the belt, and Claw snatches it as soon as it reaches the ring. He holds it aloft, and Lau enters the ring, a smile crossing his face for the first time in the evening. Shakespeare looks disconsolate outside the ring.] TD: You're kidding me! Claw wins because Sexton was hiding under the ring, and he gets the title?! SR: The winner of the match gets the belt, Dross, and Claw won this one fair and square. TD: Fair and square?! Give me a break! [There is a commotion as a familiar IIWF suit makes his way down to the ring. He beckons the referee over to the timekeeper's table, where he confers with both the official and the ring announcer. Meanwhile, Lau and Claw begin to make their way up the aisle, ignoring the jeers of the fans.] TD: Hang on... that's Poutine Janois, Chairman of the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee. SR: You mean the guy that screwed over Tiger Claw last week? Don't tell me, the IIWF's going to give the Syndicate the shaft yet again! TD: You can't tell me that you think this is a fair way to decide the fate of a championship belt, Steve. SR: Sure I can, Dross. [Sparkplug Lee climbs the ringsteps once more to make a further announcement. As he begins to speak, Lau and Claw stop in the aisle and turn back to face the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee's decision in this match has been reversed by the Chairman of the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee! [Big pop! Lau and Claw immediately look irate.] He has ruled that since a IIWF Championship cannot usually change hands on a countout, the same should apply in this case. This match will continue until either one of the two competitors has been pinned or forced to submit! [Huge pop! Shakespeare immediately leaps back into the ring, revitalised by the opportunity of a second chance. Lau and Claw are beside themselves in the aisle. Lau signals his disgust, and turns to continue back to the locker room. Claw spits on the floor and goes with him. Janois speaks with Sparkplug Lee again. Just as Lau and Claw are about to disappear into the locker room area, another announcement is made:] RA: Mr. Janois has informed me that unless Tiger Claw returns to the ring immediately, he shall not only lose the Intercontinental Championship, which will be awarded by default to Billy Shakespeare, but he shall be suspended indefinitely from active competition in the IIWF! [Huge pop! Lau and Claw practically explode in their anger at the top of the aisle.] SR: No way, Dross! No way! This is criminal! Surely this Special Concerns Committee don't have the authority to make decisions like that?! TD: Mr. Janois and his Committee are charged with absolute authority at IIWF events in an effort to restore a little justice around here, Steve. SR: This is an absolute joke! How much does the front office have to stack the deck against the Syndicate?! TD: Remember, Steve, that not so long ago, you were convinced that Lau had bought off the IIWF President. SR: I guess that moron Spreadbury has sold out to a higher bidder -- namely Shakespeare! [Faced with little alternative, Lau sends Claw back down to the ring, while he heads back into the locker room area.] TD: Hey, where's Lau going? SR: I guess he must have something planned to level the playing field a little, Dross. TD: Well, Claw's on his own for now... he slides back into the ring, and he and Shakespeare are going at it like animals already! [The referee quickly signals for the bell to restart the match. The brawl between Claw and Shakespeare sees each man back the other into the corner, and trying to gain the upper hand. Shakespeare whips Claw across the ring with tremendous force, and Claw hits the opposite buckles with a huge clang. He staggers backwards into the ring, and is dumped on his head by a bridging back suplex from Shakespeare - 1 - 2 - kickout! Shakespeare is quickly to his feet, and drags the groggy Claw back to a vertical base too. He whips Claw into the ropes, and levels him with a clothesline, then points to the skies. Huge pop from the crowd as he climbs to the top turnbuckle. He launches himself with an elbow drop from the top, but Claw rolls out of the way at the last moment, and Shakespeare eats mat! Big heel pop!] TD: That probably wasn't the best moment to take a big risk like that. Shakespeare had Claw on the ropes, so to speak, and he should have concentrated on wearing Claw down some more before wasting precious seconds climbing to the top. SR: Why does it not surprise me that you are more of a ring tactician than Pukespeare, Dross? [Claw groggily makes the cover on the winded Shakespeare - 1 - 2 - Billy just gets his left shoulder up! Claw drags his opponent back to his feet, cinches his head, and executes his deadly punching fury to Shakespeare's torso. Billy staggers backwards, clutching his ribs, and Claw levels him with a big clothesline. Big heel pop! Claw locks an octopus hold on Shakespeare, who yells out in pain, but refuses to submit. There is a ripple of disapproval in the crowd as Brian Lau appears at the head of the aisle, and makes his way back down to the ring accompanied by Hakiro Matsuoko and Casey James.] TD: Wow, talk about reinforcements! The Syndicate are here in full force, Steve. SR: They've got to take back this title, Dross. Lau knows it, and he'll go to any lengths to get it. Hell, the IIWF seems prepared to go to any lengths to stop him, and that will only make him all the more determined. TD: You could be right, Steve. [The crowd start chanting "Bil - ly! Bil - ly!" as Shakespeare fights the pain of the octopus hold. He gets up onto one knee, reducing Claw's leverage, and works one arm free, lashing out behind him, and fortunately catching Claw in the face. Tiger Claw staggers backwards, and Billy gets to his feet. He bounces off the ropes, and clotheslines Claw out of the ring. Big pop! Shakespeare sizes up his opponent, and then throws himself out of the ring after him, landing on him with a well-executed plancha. Huge pop! However, he is quickly closed in by the forces of the Syndicate, and he rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope. Casey and Hakiro help Claw back to his feet, and Claw almost shakes their hands off him as he rolls back into the ring. Shakespeare is straight back on his case, stomping on his back before he can even stand. He drags Claw to his feet and whips him into the ropes, knocking him back to the mat with a standing dropkick. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Shakespeare is pulled to the outside by Casey, who attacks him! Huge heel pop!] SR: Yes! This is great! The referee can't disqualify the Syndicate! They can do what they want to Shakespeare, and then Claw can just cover him for the win! This is great! TD: No it isn't! This is disgusting! SR: Call me twisted, Dross, but there's nothing I enjoy more than watching Pukespeare having the snot kicked out of him! TD: You're twisted, Steve. SR: Don't you just love it?! [Lau seems to be egging Casey on, but Matsuoko watches seemingly aghast. Eventually, he steps in and pulls Casey away from Shakespeare, and Lau looks like he can't believe his eyes. Shakespeare rolls back into the ring. Claw drags him to his feet and then lets him slump back as he becomes distracted by the disagreement at ringside. Lau yells at his men to get themselves in order, but Claw seems incensed by Matsuoko's imputence. He stands at the edge of the ring, shouting down at his stablemates, believing Shakespeare to be all but unconscious. However, Shakespeare slowly sneaks up behind Claw, and then suddenly rolls him up with an inside cradle. He hooks Claw's legs with his own as the referee makes the count - 1 - 2 - Casey James tries to make the save - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Massive pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _NEW_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! SR: No! TD: Yes! Shakespeare's done it! He's the new champion! [Shakespeare wisely decides to make a quick exit after being presented with the title, and starts heading up the aisle, while Tiger Claw, apparently in shock, sits in the centre of the ring. Suddenly, he appears to realise what has happened, and immediately starts berating Casey and Matsuoko. Matsuoko seems to bear the brunt of the criticism, and even Brian Lau appears to be losing his patience with him. Matsuoko suddenly loses his cool with his stablemates, and lashes out at each of them, lightning quick. He floors Casey with a thrust kick, nails Claw with a spin kick, and then chops Lau to the canvas. Huge pop from the crowd!] SR: [almost screaming] What?! TD: This is incredible, folks! The Syndicate is falling apart right before our eyes! [The inevitable backlash is almost instant. Casey and Claw are quickly back to their feet, and they attack Hakiro with unbridled aggression. Hakiro can't stand the odds, and is beaten down to the floor. Huge heel pop! Shakespeare turns in the aisle and sees the beating being administered to Hakiro, and he looks into the crowd. The fans scream for him to help, so Billy drops the belt, and heads back into the fray. Huge pop!] TD: Shakespeare's coming here to help Matsuoko out... what a turnaround. Since day one here in the IIWF, the Syndicate seems to have been the force to be reckoned with, but in the past couple of weeks, it just appears to have fallen apart completely. Sooner or later, the egos involved were bound to give. SR: Don't speculate about something you know nothing about, Dross. From what I hear, Matsuoko has been as much of a bad influence lately in the Syndicate as Latta was. It was only a matter of time before that lousy ingrate bit the hand that feeds him -- but you don't bite Brian Lau's hand. No way. TD: This brawl is get... Hey! It's the "Enigma"! Takezo Musashi is coming to ringside! Is he coming to help Matsuoko, or attack him?! [Big pop as the Enigma streaks down the aisle and launches into the brawl, assisting Shakespeare in sending Claw, Casey and Lau packing back up the aisle, and shielding the battered Matsuoko. Lau makes threatening gestures at Shakespeare and the Enigma as he backs off, and Claw spits on the Intercontinental Championship belt as he passes it in the aisle. Finally, the remains of the Syndicate disappear backstage. Shakespeare and Musashi assist Matsuoko back up the aisle to a big pop.] TD: I guess Hakiro really has been listening to the advice of Rising Sun Revolution, Steve. But who would have thought that Hakiro's old training partner, and now sworn enemy, the "Enigma", would have come to his aid?! Just incredible... SR: What's incredible is that Pukespeare's escaped with the Intercontinental Championship, Dross. I'll tell you right now, it's only a temporary setback for Tiger Claw. He _will_ become the IIWF's first ever four-time Intercontinental Champion... mark my words. TD: Well, for now, folks, we've got to celebrate Shakespeare's tremendous achievement in becoming the IIWF's first double crown winner. SR: We have to celebrate it my ass! TD: Thankyou, Steve, that's enough. Up next, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski takes on the man whom he attacked at Midweek Mayhem, Mr. Damage. Before we get up to the ring, let's go to some pretaped comments from the Fury himself. I had the... pleasure... of meeting him in the Amber Bug bar. [Cut to pretaped footage of Tim Dross sitting nervously in the middle of the Amber Bug, trying to ignore the less than classy "woman" giving the him eyes, he stirs the ice in his drink. A vulgar and imposing patron walks up and says...] Guy: Yer in my seat. I don't like it when strangers take my seat. TD: [Turning from the man's rancid breath] I...uh...I'm sorry. I was supposed to meet someone here. I have an interview to do with... Guy: Why don't you interview me? I'm the toughest...URK! [Bar POP!] [The disgusting individual's head is slammed into the table and left to slump to the floor. Steve "The Fury" Kowalski takes a seat across from Tim Dross. The interview begins...] TD: I didn't think I ever would say that I was glad to see you until now. [Sitting straight up and composing himself] I guess we better get down to it. The term "heat" seems to be synonymous with the "Fury" lately. Would you care to explain your...uh...knack for shaking things up? SK: [Pouring himself a shot] What can I say, Dross? Bein' a hellraiser runs in the family. When Spreadbury signed me a month ago, he probably thought that he had 'nother trash talkin' schmuck tryin' to live of the rep of a wrestling legend. Well, much to his [BLEEP]in' dismay, I came here to _pile_ up the bodies and collect the belts. TD: There is no denying the bodies are piling up. Actually there is a "body" that seems to be in the path of the NJ Nightmare Express, Mr. Damage. Do you have any... SK: Comments on him? Yeah. He is on the _bottom_ of the food chain and I'm at the top! The [BLEEP] could have let well 'nough alone and gone on with his life, but he just couldn't shut his pie-hole! [Shoots a shot] I saw his comments on Countdown ta Saturday, ya know. TD: Yes. He doesn't have a great deal of respect for you. Of course that can be understood, since you did break a flag over his head. He believes that you are in league with Dan Kauffman. Is there any truth to this? SK: Let me sum it up for ya, Timmy. No [BLEEP]in' way! I went to the four corners match because I was going to send Damage to a world of hurt! I don't give a rat's ass who he was wrestling that night. Damage's just reachin' for excuses. [Another shot] On Saturday, there will be _no_ more excuses! I will SKULLPUMP that sorry bitch! Then he can live out his life in a wheelchair buildin' adobes or what ever those g'day scumbags do. I'm tired of talkin' to you, Timmy. I makin' like a new born baby and headin' out! [Fury gets up and leaves] TD: Wait! you can't leave me here... [Looking around] alone. [All eyes turn to Dross. Fade. Cut back to ringside.] SR: How the hell did you get out of there alive, Dross? TD: I bought a round of drinks. Cost the IIWF nearly $400. Let's go up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Steve "the Fury" Kowalski vs. Mr. Damage -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SR: Steve is just like his father. Rutheless, sadistic, and relentless. Mr. Damage is tough, I'll give him that, but Kowalski is just going to be too much for him. TD: Is that your professional opinion? SR: Ummm, yeah. TD: Okay, then. I'm forced to agree with you. If I'm not completely wrong, this one is going to be a knock-down, drag-out brawl. Kowalski just might have the edge. Sparkplug Lee is ready for the ring introductions. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next bout is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 245 lbs and hailing from Melbourne, Australia, here is: Mr. Damage! [Mr. Damage comes out into the aisle to a heel pop. He flips off many of the fans, especially one holding a Steve Kowalski poster. His back to the head of the aisle, Mr. Damage fails to notice Steve Kowalski sprint out and plant a knee square into his back. Mr. Damage falls forward, knocking his head on the steel guard rail. Kowalski grabs Damage by the hair, and drags him up the aisle to the ringside area. He slams Damage down to the floor, and grabs the ring steps. Kowalski lifts the steps over his head and throws them down on top of Damage.] TD: This one hasn't even gotten into the ring, and already, Damage is taking a pounding! SR: Has the bell even rang yet? TD: No, apparently not! [Damage rolls on the floor, and Kowalski climbs up onto the apron. He runs a bit, and jumps off, attempting to land a leg drop on the fallen Mr. Damage. Damage moves, however, and Kowalski hits the floor hard. Damage gets up shakily, and holds on to the apron for support. He boots Kowalski in the ribs a few times, then drags him up to his feet. Damage executes an atomic drop on Kowalski, which seems to have some effect on Kowalski.] TD: I've never seen anyone hurt so much by an atomic drop. SR: That's probably because you've never seen it as a follow up to a fall from the apron straight onto a person's tailbone. TD: Good point. SR: Damage has picked the body part... Let's see if he can work on it. [Kowalski holds his rear, and Damage bulldogs him into the floor. He then rolls the Fury into the ring, and follows in. With both participants entering the ring, the ref calls for the bell to signal the start of the match. Damage stands over Kowalski, and drags him to his feet. Kowalski jabs a thumb into the eye of Damage, making the Australian tough guy stagger back. Kowalski follows up with a vicious clothesline, knocking Damage back onto his shoulders and the back of his head. Kowalski limps over to the corner, trying to work off the damage done to his tailbone. Damage gets to his feet, and again, Kowalski labels him with a clothesline. Again, Damage goes down, but this time, Kowlski drags him back up. Kowalski picks Damage up across his chest, and falls back, throwing Damage into the air in a fallaway slam. Kowalski lands on his backside, and shouts out in pain.] TD: The work of Mr. Damage is really showing itself here. SR: That's Damage's style. The damage he does isn't the kind that can be brushed off easily. Kowalski is going to be putting some ice on his... injury... for the next few days. [Kowalski's momentum is lost as he sits up, and Damage capitalizes. After falling from the slam, Damage spins around and plants both feet into Kowalski's lower back. Kowalski shouts out, and Damage kicks again. Damage gets up and kicks Kowalski in the face, knocking him down. Damage rolls Kowalski over into a Boston crab. Kowalski shouts out once again, then works to get to the ropes. The crowd gives a mixed pop as Kowalski fights the pressure of the hold. Kowalski gets to the ropes, and the ref calls for the break. Mr. Damage keeps the hold on for the full 5 count, then breaks. The ref gets in Damage's face about the rules, and the two engage in an argument. Kowalski rolls out of the ring, and limps his way to the timekeeper's table.] TD: Where does he think he's going? SR: Here's a bit of that Kowalski spirit I know so well. It's over right now. [Kowalski wrestles the timekeeper's bell from the official. and keeps himself between the bell and the ref's vision. The argument comes to a conclusion between Damage and the ref, and Damage walks over to the side of the ring Kowalski is standing on. He hangs over the ropes, yelling at Kowalski. Kowalski winds up and clocks Damage with the bell. The ref signals to the timekeeper, but with no bell, there is no signal to the end of the match. Kowalski enters the ring with the bell, and continues to bring it down on Damage's head. By this time, someone brings a microphone to the timekeeper, and he makes an anouncement. "Um, Ding?" is heard over the PA, but Kowalski continues to punish Mr. Damage.] TD: The Fury has lost it! We've got to get some help out here! SR: Just like his old man... This brings back memories. [The Jobber Justice Squad runs to the ring to separate Kowalski from Mr. Damage, who appears to have taken quite a beating from the bell. The bell is taken from Kowalski, and he is pushed and shoved out of the ring, and back up the aisle.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, as a result of a disqualification, Mr. Damage! TD: Kowalski lost this match as far as the records are concerned, but he really laid a beating on Mr. Damage. SR: Like I said, he's definitely got some of his father's charm. Kowalski is brutal, and everyone in the IIWF better steer clear of him. TD: That as it may be, I think his tactics leave a little to be desired. SR: I don't think so. He gets the job done. TD: That much is certainly true. Before we go to our tag team championship match, let's go backstage to Larry Morton, who is still outside Chris Quigley's locker room: {Cut to Larry Morton standing backstage.] LM: Thanks, Tim. Nobody has gone in or out of this locker room over the course of the broadcast tonight, and I have still been unable to speak with Quigley. However, I was approached by Poutine Janois, Chairman of the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee, not long ago, and he expressed his concern about Quigley's wellbeing. It seems that there is some question of whether he will be _allowed_ to wrestle in the title match later on tonight, but because he isn't allowing anyone to speak with him, it's very hard to guage his condition. I guess we're just going to have to wait for the match to be introduced! Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] SR: If the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee wrecks my fun twice in one night by deciding that Verhoeven doesn't get to end Quigley's career, I will not be a happy man. TD: You're sick, Steve. We'll continue to keep you updated on the Quigley situation if any more transpires, but for now we've got to get back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Rising Sun Revolution vs. Heavy Metal --------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the glare of the spotlight, and raises his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IIWF World Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, the challengers, led to the ring by Robo Stone, hailing from Olympia, Washington, and weighing in at 660lbs, here are Atlas and Apollo Steele... Heeaaaavy Meeeetaaaal! [Big heel pop as "Smells Like Teen Spirit" heralds the arrival of the burly Steele twins. They head down the aisle, ignoring the jeers of the crowd, and the mics on the cameras pick up the maniacal laughter of Robo Stone.] TD: He's still laughing, Steve. SR: He must have caught a glimpse of the Man Of Steel back there. TD: Will you please stop?! RA: And introducing their opponents, hailing from Japan, and weighing in at a combined weight of 570lbs, here are Hiroshi "Daioni" Kasai, and Ryudu "Taisu" Kenjinata. They are the IIWF World Tag Team Champions! They are... Riiissiiiiiing Suuuuun Reeeevoluuuution! [Huge pop as the theme from "Bladerunner" kicks in over the PA and RSR appear at the head of the aisle. Rockets shoot up into the rafters of the arena as they jog to the ring. Heavy Metal bail out of the ring as a wall of flame erupts behind the champions, who raise their arms to the roof and hold their belts aloft. Big pop! However, as RSR give their belts to ringside assistants, Heavy Metal leap through the ropes and jump them from behind. Heel pop! The referee signals for the bell to get things underway.] SR: Robo Stone has his guys well trained, doesn't he? Jump the champs off the bat, work them over, and get the titles! TD: A somewhat unfair strategy, some might say, Steve. SR: This isn't about fair, Dross. This is about gold! [Ryudu and Hiroshi are battered by the Steeles, and backed into opposite corners. Atlas and Apollo attempt to whip the champs into one another in the centre of the ring, but RSR reverse the attempts, sending the Steele twins crashing into one another. Atlas rolls out of the ring, and Ryudu also steps outside, leaving Hiroshi and Apollo to battle it out. Hiroshi drags Apollo to his feet and whips him into the ropes, grabbing him on the rebound and executing a devastating tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Big pop!] TD: It seems that Robo's game plan might not have been the most effective, Steve. Hey! Look! It's Hellraiser! [Big heel pop as Hellraiser makes his way down to the ring. The big man pulls Ryudu off the ring apron, and immediately attacks him. The crowd go berzerk as Hiroshi turns to help his partner, but is leathered from behind by Atlas, who storms the ring and hits him with a big forearm to the back of the head. Hiroshi goes down, and he is trapped in a side headlock as Apollo gets to his feet and begins stomping away on the trapped Hiroshi. Meanwhile, Hellraiser and Ryudu continue to mix it up, and despite holding his own for a while, Ryudu is soon beaten down to the arena floor by his much bigger adversary.] TD: This was all a set-up! This is disgraceful! Ring the bell, ref! Hey! Here come Domination! [Big pop as Mr. Psycho and Monster sprint down the aisle. Mr. Psycho's head is bandaged, and one of his eyes is patched, but otherwise, both men look to be at full strength. They career into Hellraiser, coming to the aid of the fallen comrade, and whip him into the steel guard rail. Mr. Psycho checks on Ryudu while Monster storms the ring and attacks Heavy Metal, driving them away from Hiroshi. There is another huge heel pop as the Dark Disciples run down the aisle, with Don McQueen following not far behind. Soon, an uncontrollable brawl has broken out at ringside.] TD: This is ridiculous! Gang warfare has overtaken the IIWF, and something has to be done about it! SR: I say it should be encouraged, Dross. Once these teams actually start eliminating one another, we might see some order around here. Although this is much more fun... hey, watch it! [One of the Steele twins narrowly misses the broadcast table as he is shoved from the apron. Within moments, security personnel have descended on the ringside area, along with the Jobber Justice Squad, and order is restored within a couple of hectic minutes. The fans finally begin to settle, and take their seats once more.] TD: It's only a matter of time before somebody is seriously injured in one of these brawls, Steve. SR: Yeah, that would be great! Perhaps one of these moronic fans could get a little cosmetic "surgery" free of charge, courtesy of the Dark Disciples. Those scarred foreheads are going to be the look for 1997, you know. TD: I really don't think so, Steve. Anyhow, I guess that match must have been ruled a no contest, but something must be done to restore a modicum of order in the tag ranks, Steve. SR: The only way to do it will be to lock everybody in their locker rooms before the match starts, Dross, and even that might not work. These guys are determined to kick the snot out of one another, and they're going to do it. TD: We're just moments away from tonight's main event, folks. More than two months of conflict come to a head in the ring right here in the Coliseum in mere seconds, as the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, takes on long-time nemesis, Chris Quigley. It's unclear whether Quigley is even fit to wrestle this match, but... SR: [interrrupting] ...but you just know he's going to try anyway. His ego won't let him do otherwise, Dross. This is going to be great. TD: We've already seen one championship change hands here tonight -- are we going to see a second? Let's go up to the ring and find out: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley ------------------------------------------------------------ [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring and raises his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's main event! [Big pop!] The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship! [Big pop!] Introducing first, the champion... [Big heel pop as the theme from "Halloween" kicks in] Hailing from Essen, Germany, and weighing in at 340lbs, accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, here is... Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [The crowd erupts in their disapproval as Verhoeven appears at the head of the aisle. He raises his arms and yells "Welcome to the Slaughterhouse!" before making his way down to the ring, ignoring the jeers of the fans as he goes. Heidi, stunning as always in her scarlet nurse's outfit, walks beside her man, and verbally abuses the fans, even threatening to hit a couple. Verhoeven climbs the ringsteps and enters the ring, allowing Heidi to remove his extra attire, and handing the championship belt to the referee.] TD: Verhoeven looks to be focused and ready tonight, Steve. SR: You're damned right, Dross. He's focused and ready to kick seven shades of snot out of Quigley, and I can't wait! RA: And introducing the challenger... [Huge pop as "For Those About To Rock" starts up over the PA] hailing from Corner Brook, Newfoundland, Canada, and weighing in at 238lbs, here is... "Quiiiiickstriiike" Chriiiis Quiiiigley! [Spotlights swivel to illuminate the head of the aisle, but Quigley is nowhere to be seen.] SR: Ha! The loser's not even going to try and wrestle! TD: Hang on... Quigley's behind the curtain. Larry? [Cut to just behind the curtain in the backstage area. Quigley stands having a slanging match with Poutine Janois and Dan Kauffman. Larry Morton hurriedly speaks to the camera as the argument rages behind him:] LM: Tim, things suddenly started happening back here a minute or so ago. Quigley came out of his locker room, and he appeared slightly disorientated. He almost fell, but was caught by Dan Kauffman, who was walking down the corridor. Quigley snapped, and shoved Kauffman against the wall, before heading here to the entranceway waiting to be introduced. It seems that Kauffman must have gone to speak with Mr. Janois, because Quigley is now being ordered not to wrestle. It seems that his cond... hang on, he's going down the aisle anyway! [Cut back out into the arena. Quigley emerges from the curtain to a huge pop, but both Janois and Kauffman try to restrain him. Eventually, Kauffman manages to hold him back, and he and Quigley begin arguing once more. Meanwhile, Janois makes his way down to the ring and confers with the referee and the ring announcer.] SR: Oh, no! Not again! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the Chairman of the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee has ruled that Chris Quigley is physically unfit to participate in this championship match. [Confused pop from the crowd] Therefore, it has been declared a no contest! [Huge roar of disapproval from the crowd. Quigley yells several expletives in his frustration, and he shoves Kauffman to the floor before leaving in absolute disgust, spitting on the aisle as he goes. Any fans who attempt to touch him find themselves subjected to a swipe from the disheartened Quigley, who storms through the curtain out of sight.] TD: This is extraordinary, folks. Larry, where's Quigley headed? [Cut to backstage. Morton follows the furious Quigley through the corridors.] LM: Chris... Chris... Can we get a few comments? Chris? [Quigley arrives at his locker room door and slams it shut behind him.] Chris? [Larry bangs on the door, but there's no answer.] [Suddenly cut back to ringside.] TD: Sorry we had to leave that scene, folks, but Verhoeven has taken the ring mic... [Verhoeven waits for the jeers of the crowd to die down before speaking:] OV: Shut up, you moronic scheisskopfs! When the IIWF Champion, the Butcher, speaks, you listen. I demand an opponent! I demand another victim! I don't care whether it's "Kidstrike" Chris Quigley or not. The Butcher's thirst for blood must be quenched! [Huge heel pop. In the aisle, Kauffman picks himself up, and makes his way to the ring. He climbs into the squared circle, and gets in Verhoeven's face. Otto drops the mic, and the two of them engage in a heated argument, which is eventually broken up by Janois and the referee. Janois confers with the official, and then with Sparkplug Lee, who makes a further announcement:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Janois has ruled that, since Otto Verhoeven wants to wrestle here tonight, he will put his IIWF World Heavyweight Championship on the line against Dan Kauffman! [Huge pop! Verhoeven doesn't even wait for the bell to ring before leathering Kauffman with a huge right hand. Kauffman staggers backwards, and Otto knocks him to the mat, stomping him brutally. The crowd are going nuts.] SR: Hey, this is almost as good as watching Verhoeven kick the crap out of Quigley! Perhaps this Special Concerns Committee isn't such a bad thing after all! TD: I don't know, Steve... Kauffman can't be in any shape to beat Verhoeven with Cadaver somewhere around the arena. He hasn't prepared for this match, and he can't be focused on Verhoeven at all. This is a big mistake! SR: Wrong again, Dross. This is great! [Kauffman is beaten from pillar to post by Verhoeven, who whips him into the ropes, and catches him with a boot to the face on the rebound. Dan is staggered, and Verhoeven closes in, jabbing at Kauffman's kidney and rib areas with hard punches. Kauffman staggers backwards into the corner, and Verhoeven continues to pummel his body, despite his attempts to guard himself. The referee calls for the break, and Verhoeven eventually complies on the count of four. He whips Kauffman into the opposite corner, and then charges in himself. Kauffman sticks his boot up, and Otto runs headlong into it, staggering backwards into the ring. Kauffman hops onto the second rope, and executes a bulldog on Verhoeven, who is driven down to the mat. Big pop! Kauffman makes the cover - 1 - Verhoeven kicks out with authority!] SR: If Kauffman thinks that one bulldog is going to put the Teutonic terror out, he's got another thing coming -- like a fist! [Verhoeven gets to his feet and once again begins peppering Kauffman with body shots. Kauffman manages to get in a few good shots, and Verhoeven is staggered by Kauffman, who launches himself at the ropes, hitting the big man with a clothesline. Verhoeven doesn't go down. Kauffman repeats the clothesline. The champion teeters but still doesn't go down. Kauffman hits a third clothesline. This time, the Butcher hits the mat. Huge pop. Kauffman climbs to the top rope, but behind the official's back, Nurse Heidi hops up onto the apron. Huge heel pop as she shakes the ropes, and Kauffman falls into a vulnerable position, straddling the top turnbuckle. Verhoeven climbs to the second turnbuckle and peppers Kauffman with right hands. He attempts to execute his devastating Meat Hook chokeslam, but Kauffman hooks the bottom rope with his foot, and Verhoeven is unable to execute the move. Kauffman elbows Verhoeven in the face, and Otto staggers backwards into the ring. Kauffman leaps from the ropes once more with a stunning sunset flip from the top rope! Huge pop as he drags Verhoeven over for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Huge disappointed pop from the crowd.] TD: It seems Kauffman still has some real fight left in him, Steve! SR: Verhoeven will take the wind out of his sails once and for all, Dross, you mark my words. [Kauffman stays on Verhoeven, dragging him to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. He executes a Frankensteiner on the big man, sending him crashing to the mat once more. Kauffman makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! He appears frustrated as he drags Verhoeven to his feet a third time and whips him into the ropes yet again. He attempts a dropkick, but Verhoeven grabs hold of the ropes, and Kauffman crashes to the mat. His head snaps back against the canvas, and he grabs at his head. Big heel pop! Verhoeven showboats for the crowd, before locking Kauffman into a surfboard submission hold.] TD: No! This is a devastating hold! If Kauffman's injured his neck, he won't be able to stand this punishment for very long. SR: I'm not the kind of guy to say I told you so, Dross, but I told you so! Kauffman's just bought a one-way ticket to the hospital! [Kauffman yells in pain, but refuses to submit. Meanwhile, as Nurse Heidi watches the action from the outside, a scruffy figure can be seen in the crowd behind her, shuffling towards the barriers. Security attempt to hold the small man back, but he slips out of their grasp. Heidi is completely unaware of the man's presence as she beats her fists on the apron in encouragement of her fiance.] TD: Hey! That's Mench! SR: [holding his nose] You're nod kiddig, Drodd. If he touches Heidi, he's going do regred id. [Mench pinches Heidi's bottom, and she spins around, in complete shock. He grabs her and plants a big wet kiss on her mouth! Huge pop from the crowd! Heidi steps backwards once having been released from Mench's clutches, and immediately looks nauseous. In the ring, Verhoeven sees Mench's activities, and releases Kauffman, immediately rolling to the outside. He checks on Heidi, and then goes ballistic on Mench, who attempts to get away through the crowd. Verhoeven grabs him and hoists him up above his head, screaming with rage as he drops him throat-first on the steel crowd barrier. Huge heel pop! Heidi also puts the boot into Mench.] SR: Where the hell does that sewer-dwelling freak get off, sexually assaulting a man's fiancee?! TD: This is a most... er... unusual situation, Steve. Hang on! Here comes the Subway Psycho! [Huge pop as the Subway Psycho bolts down the aisle, immediately coming to his fallen friend's aid. He jumps Verhoeven from behind, and the referee leaves the ring to try and restore order. However, the official is caught in the cross-fire, and is sent crashing face-first onto the steel ringsteps, apparently knocked unconscious in the process. The Psycho and Verhoeven continue their brawl on the outside, while Kauffman pulls himself to his feet on the inside. He sees the situation on the arena floor, and bounces off the ropes, leaping over the side of the ring with a well-executed plancha onto Verhoeven, taking him down to the floor. The Psycho climbs to the ring apron, and drops an elbow on Verhoeven all the way to the arena floor! Huge pop! The crowd go ballistic!] SR: This is ridiculous, Dross! Get another official down here, now! Disqualify Kauffman! [Nurse Heidi grabs a chair from the timekeeper's table, and wields it at the Psycho, but the People's Champion is too quick for her, and he grabs the chair, pushing her back to the arena floor. As Verhoeven staggers to his feet, the Psycho makes a head-shaped imprint in the steel chair with Verhoeven's skull, and the Butcher goes down again. Together, Kauffman and the Psycho roll Verhoeven back into the ring, and Kauffman goes to the top rope. He launches himself with an elbow smash onto the prone champion as the Psycho rolls the official back into the ring. The official sees Kauffman covering Verhoeven, and makes a very slow count - 1 --- 2 --- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The Coliseum erupts with a massive pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _NEW_ IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Dan Kauffman! SR: I can't believe it! That was practically a handicap match against Kauffman and the Stinker... I can't believe it! TD: Unbelievable! After six months, Dan Kauffman has finally achieved what was looking increasingly impossible... Dan Kauffman has captured the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship! It doesn't matter how he did it, Steve... especially given the circumstances under which Verhoeven came to be wearing the title in the first place. This is incredible! What scenes of celebration here in the Coliseum! [Kauffman can barely believe his eyes as the Psycho enters the ring with the IIWF World Title belt, and straps it around his waist. Kauffman, exhausted and dripping with sweat, stands in the ring, and holds his arms aloft. Massive pop! All over the arena, cameras flash, and as his music starts up, fireworks rain showers of sparks down from the roof of the arena! Practically every fan in the arena is on his or her feet. Heidi drags Verhoeven from the ring.] TD: What a night it's been here in the IIWF, Steve! Two title changes, the Man Of Steel carried out on a stretcher, the Syndicate on the verge of total oblivion... hang on! Stay with us! Cadaver's coming to the ring! Cadaver's at ringside! [Almost out of nowhere, Cadaver steps over the crowd barrier and into the ringside enclosure. Kauffman freezes up in the ring, and a hush falls over the previously jubilant crowd. The Psycho steps in front of Kauffman to protect the new champion from the sinister Cadaver. At that moment, the lights in the arena drop totally.] TD: Oh no! What's going on now?! [Moments later, the lights rise once more, and the familiar form of Deathbringer is seen standing in the ring between Kauffman and Cadaver. Huge pop!] SR: [shouting] What?! Where did that overgrown zombie spring up from?! The Coroner buried him! TD: I guess you just can't bury Deathbringer! He's going to confront Cadaver! The Brothers in Darkness are reunited once again! [The Psycho and Kauffman seem relieved to see Deathbringer, who keeps his gaze firmly on Cadaver as he climbs onto the apron and enters the ring. Cadaver and Deathbringer stand face to face once more. The crowd begin to stir with an excited buzz, anticipating the first blow. The stalemate goes on for a few more seconds, until, suddenly, Deathbringer and Cadaver together charge the Psycho and Kauffman and attack them! Massive heel pop!] TD: [shouting] No! No! SR: I can't believe it, Dross! TD: Have Cadaver and Deathbringer joined forces?! They're beating on the Psycho and Kauffman like there's no tomorrow! This is incredible! We need some help out here! Just listen to these fans... they can't believe what they're seeing, and nor can I! Deathbringer has turned on Kauffman and the Psycho... turned on all his Soldiers of Darkness... turned on the IIWF... this is unbelievable! SR: I guess that's what Cadaver meant when he said that the forces of death have come together! This is fantastic! TD: Fans, we're right out of time here... there's a security team on their way to the ring... there's chaos back in the locker room area... Fans, we've got to leave you. We'll have a complete update on Tuesday... This is awful. For "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, signing off. [Deathbringer and Cadaver continue to beat on their pray. Deathbringer tombstones the Psycho, and Cadaver executes the Death Drop on Kauffman. A security team pours into the ring to try and keep the two attackers at bay. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+