[Fade up on scenes from Billy Shakespeare's victory over Tiger Claw to win the vacant IIWF Intercontinental Championship, and the ensuing brawl between Casey James, Tiger Claw and Hakiro Matsuoko.] VO: The inevitable backlash has begun. For months, the IIWF has been at the mercy of Brian Lau's Syndicate, his ruthless four-man collective. Espousing the motto "all for one, and one for all," these mercenary athletes have been ruthlessly effective in pursuing their goals. But sooner or later, their good fortunes had to take a dive. First to fall was Joe Latta [cut to footage of Latta brawling with the Syndicate], but the remaining members rallied together and terminated his wrestling career. Yet the seeds of doubt had been planted in the mind of the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko -- a former Intercontinental Champion who has been overlooked by Brian Lau in favour of Tiger Claw for months -- and those seeds took root. Last week, Matsuoko turned his back on the Syndicate, and nearly paid the same price that Joe Latta paid, but for the newly-crowned Intercontinental Champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, who came to his aid. Now, Shakespeare and Matsuoko stand together, and tonight, they will do battle with the remaining two members of the Syndicate, Casey "Blackheart" James and Tiger Claw. Tonight... _live_ on... [The footage freezes and the shot is shattered by the explosion of the opening graphics, bringing with them the rhythmic opening music:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + I + D + W + E + E + K M + A + Y + H + E + M ----------------------------------------------- + LiVE! + IIWF Coliseum + 13 November, 1996 + [The graphics perform a myriad transformations and eventually twist off the screen, revealing the interior of the IIWF Coliseum, packed to the rafters with nearly twenty thousand excited fans, the majority of whom are bedecked in official IIWF merchandise and carrying hand-made signs. The shot pans down past row upon row of fans, and comes to rest on the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure, at which stand Larry Morton and Becky LaRue.] LM: Welcome everybody to another _live_ edition of IIWF Midweek Mayhem! We're coming at you from the IIWF Coliseum, and what a lineup we have in store tonight! I'm Larry Morton, and beside me, as always, is the lovely Becky LaRue. BL: Lovely? LM: Well, I'm sure your mother thinks so, anyway... Argh! Pain! BL: Starting things off on a rather unpleasant note, aren't we, widdle Lawwy? LM: ....aaak.... pain.... BL: Apologise, you little worm. LM: [strangled] ....aaak.... sorry. BL: That's better. You watch your step tonight, Morton, or there's going to be trouble. LM: ...erk. [recovering] We've got three huge tag matches coming your way tonight, folks. You heard at the top of the show about the huge tag team main event pitting newly-crowned Intercontinental Champion Billy Shakespeare, along with new ally, Hakiro Matsuoko, against Casey James and Tiger Claw. BL: There's more to that match than meets the eye. As opposed to you, Larry. Incredible as it might seem, there's actually less to you than meets the eye. LM: From what I hear, there used to be less to you than what currently meets the eye. BL: What's that supposed to mean? LM: Er... I, er... Just that your... uh... curvaceous figure might have had a little assistance... uh... _surgical_ assistance. Yow! BL: _You're_ going to need surgical assistance after I'm through with you, you little son of a... LM: [interrupting] Becky, please let go of my...! Thank you. In more tag action, we'll be seeing the Armed Forces take on their arch-enemies, the Alphabet Boys, and two of the IIWF's most impressive martial artists, the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and the White Phoenix, team up against the Dark Disciples. What a match _that's_ going to be. BL: It's not going to be so much a match... more a massacre, I should say. LM: We'll see about that. We're also going to see the man who lost the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship at the weekend in action, as Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven attempts to get back on track. Plus in a special "finishers" submission match, it'll be The End against the Aristoclutch, as Marty Warnett meets Lord Byron one-on-one again. BL: Walnut really is going to be finished after Byron's done with him here tonight. LM: We'll see about that. Plus on top of all that, Don Antonio will be here taking on the Venusian Death Cell... BL: [interrupting] I'm not so sure about that, Larry. LM: What do you mean? BL: Wait and see. LM: If you say so. Well, we're also going to be hearing from a number of IIWF superstars tonight. The White Phoenix will be joining us for a few words, and you can expect the roof to come off this place when the new IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Dan Kauffman, hits the ring for a special interview later on tonight. BL: I hope the ventilation's on full power here tonight, else we'll all suffocate with the hot air Kauffman's going to spout. LM: All that to come here tonight on Midweek Mayhem, but first, let's recap on the matches we've already seen before coming on air: - STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI was victorious by disqualification over THE SANDMAN when Mr. Damage ran down to the ring and attacked Kowalski. The Sandman had made an impressive showing in the early stages of the match, keeping Kowalski on the mat with some fine technical skills, but Kowalski bounced back with his high-impact manouevres, and was in control when Mr. Damage attacked him, much to the chagrin of the Sandman, who has certainly been getting the short straw recently. Harlequin Tragedy and "Superstar" Stud Stetson wished to engage in a war of words before they hit the ring earlier on tonight. Let's hear from both competitors: [Cut to the locker room, in which are seated the Harlequins, preparing for Tragedy's match:] HT: Stetson, you've made some unwise choices since you came to the IIWF. It's bad enough that you've raised the ire of the Subway Psycho, but now you've gone and signed a match with me. Such decisions, Mr. Stetson, can lead to only one kind of ending... a TRAGIC ENDING! HC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! [The shot spins, and cuts to "Superstar" Stud Stetson standing on a theatre stage, with Lace by his side] SS: The stage is set for this Wednesday. Harlequin, you are truly set for a Tragedy as I give you a performance of a lifetime. And when the the final curtian falls I will be standing while your companion will be tending to your wounds. It will be so bad that you will have to permenantly wear that mask to hide the damage I will inflict. [Lace then comes towards the camera] LA: And isn't it fitting that your friend is called Comedy. Because she is definitely funny-looking. You make me laugh every time I see you in that one-piece bathing suit. Come tommorrow night not only will my man put Tragedy to shame but my looks will make you a laughing stock. [Stetson then looks a little annoyed at the camera] SS: Now enough of these theatrics. I have something serious to address. How can someone of my stature be left off the live show? How can a worldwide television audience miss the opportunity to see me strut my stuff? To see me kick another pathetic IIWFer's ass? I will tell you all this now, come Wednesday I will not only dismantle Tragedy but I am going to start making some major impact here in the IIWF. And I guarantee you won't like it. After all, when it comes to Superstars, I put everyone to shame. [Stetson spits. Cut back to the broadcast table.] Well, after all that talk, here's what happened in the match: - "SUPERSTAR" STUD STETSON and HARLEQUIN TRAGEDY fought to a double count-out when their respective valets became involved in a disagreement on the outside. Lace appeared to trigger the situation by abusing Comedy throughout the match, and the result was that a most unladylike brawl broke out at ringside. Both Stetson and Tragedy went to their lady's aid, but neither beat the count to make it back into the ring. - "HIGH ROLLER" JOHN McCLAIN easily toppled EL SUPER GECKO, despite the lizard-like one rapidly becoming one of the most feared individuals in the IIWF. McClain may not have been able to hurt the lizard, but he was able to force him to submit following his Royal Flush head scissors with leg lock combination. McClain was impressive tonight, Becky. And he seemed quite interested in you, for some reason. BL: If he comes near me, I'll give him snake eyes. LM: The Arabian Knights were scheduled for action against the Players' Club earlier on tonight. Let's go to comments made before their match: [Cut to pre-taped footage of the Arabian Knights in their locker rooms. The Arabian Knights are just finishing their preparations for the match against the Players' Club. The Prince is pacing to and fro, and Mr. Kaseem is giving a few last-minute pointers to Omar.] MK: Players' Club, be warned -- you have picked a very bad time to be facing the Arabian Knights. We are seething at once again having to fight on the undercard and having people interfering in our matches costing us victories. [The Prince butts in.] PA: Yes, Domination, where do you get off attacking the Dark Disciples before our match with them? Depriving us of another win. You have made very few friends and plenty of enemies since coming to the IIWF. Do you think you can afford to add another to the latter category? I think not. This warning goes out to every tag team in the IIWF: think very carefully about interfering in any of our matches from now on because if you do, be rest assured that we will come after you. If you want to beat up on someone, feel free to do so after we have beaten them, but not before or during our matches. MK: Yes, President Spreadbury, it is about time you got a grip on the tag team ranks. Every match seems to be a lumberjack match and we are not getting the opportunities that we deserve. And I have to agree with Mr. Mic's comments of last night. Spreadbury _IS_ picking his favorites and then giving them titles. PA: So Players' Club, you better bring some stretchers with you because one way or another you're going down... and we might even have an extra suprise in store for you.... [He laughs] [Cut back to the announcers' table.] - The ARABIAN KNIGHTS scored a controversial victory over the PLAYERS' CLUB when the High Plains Drifters decided to break their recent inactivity and came to the ring, taunting Dynamite and Reyna throughout the match. Eventually, TPC were sufficiently riled to leave the ring and get into a brawl with the Drifters, which resulted in Dynamite being subjected to the Knights' new finisher, the Dust Devil -- in which Omar performs a full-nelson slam on his opponent, before Prince Abdul comes off the top with a moonsault -- and pinned by the Knights. Tempers continue to be frayed in the tag team ranks, Becky. BL: I reckon it's down to the slop served up in the IIWF's cafeteria. That crap is enough to give an elephant indigestion. LM: You may well have a point there, Becky. Okay, folks, it's time to get up to the ring for tonight's opening contest, as the Venusian Death Cell takes on Don Antonio. BL: Oh, no he doesn't. LM: Oh, yes he does. Let's get up to Sparkplug Lee for the introductions. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Don Antonio vs. Venusian Death Cell =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [IIWF ring announcer Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring and raises his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from parts unknown, and weighing in at 332lbs, here is... the Venusian Death Cell! [Big heel pop as the Cell appears at the top of the aisle amidst a cloud of green smoke. He wears a dark green mask, dark green trunks and a green robe, and is accompanied to the ring by the "Psycho" theme. He looks menacingly at some of the fans on his way down the aisle, even threatening one in particular who is holding a sign which reads, "Venusian Dead Smell More Like!" Eventually he makes his way up the ring steps and into the ring.] RA: And introducing his opponent... accompanied to the ring by Salvatore Fiorello and Vinny Cappicola, hailing from Sicily, Italy, and weighing in at 275lbs, here is: Doooon Annntonio! [Big pop as the theme from "The Godfather" starts up over the PA, but it dies down as the Don fails to appear.] LM: Where is the Family? BL: I'm not the kind of person to say I told you so, Larry... LM: Yes you are. BL: Oh, yeah. I am, aren't I? Well, in that case, I told you so! [Suddenly the video wall flickers into life. A sombre melody is playing as the camera captures Don Antonio, Vinny Cappicola, Salvatore Fiorello, Bill Edelstein, and cousins Guido and Luigi.] DA: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my duty to inform you that the Family has decided that it can no longer wrestle here in the IIWF. Unfortunately, in the last few months we have attempted whole- heartedly to fight for justice and goodness for the fans but we have been repeatedly thwarted by the President and power-hungry wrestlers and managers. [General consternation.] LM: [over the headset] No, say it ain't so! DA: Before we go we want to let a few wrestlers here know what they have done that could have been changed for the better. For instance, last week, Billy Shakespeare, the Family saved you in your match with Tiger Claw but we never heard a word of thanks from you... no respect, Mr. Shakespeare. Furthermore, we have been dissappointed by other wrestlers like Deathbringer, Casey James, Subway Psycho, and Chris Quigley, to name but a few. There are the few we will miss: Man of Steel and Bibbo, you can always count on us. Heck, maybe I'll even miss the Sandman and that runt Brian Lau. Unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen, our capacities as warriors of justice here in the IIWF have been diminished by the constant interference of outside forces. Maybe someday we will return but for now the Family must move on. Goodnight. [The camera slowly fades out on the Family. The crowd begins to jeer.] LM: Fans, I don't know what to say... what about the contracts? What about the agreements? BL: I should imagine that Dictator Danny was only too pleased to release the Family from their contracts, given that they've been the main catalysts in the smear campaign against him. LM: And, of course, you'd never say anything against the IIWF President, would you, Becky? BL: Not since he agreed to my raise, no. LM: What?! You got your raise?! BL: We'll talk about that later, Larry. What about the Family? LM: Oh, them. Well, these fans are visibly disappointed in the Family, and I must say that I am too. But probably not as disappointed as the Venusian Death Cell -- look! [In the ring, the VDC expresses his disgust by spewing some green liquid onto the mat. It appears to sizzle and steam, as if it were corrosive. He sizes up to the referee, who is in consultation with Sparkplug Lee.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has awarded this match by default to the Venusian Death Cell, due to Don Antonio's failure to appear for action. [Big heel pop. Cell doesn't seem placated, however, and shoves Sparkplug to the mat, before turning his attention to the referee, who quickly bails out of the ring. The Cell rolls out and starts abusing fans at ringside, and a security team is quick to surround him and prevent him from causing any more trouble. They attempt to haul him back to the locker room, but it appears to be a losing battle. Eventually, they haul him out of sight.] LM: Well, the Cell scores a very easy win here, but he actually seems upset about it! BL: He just wants to hurt people, Larry, and he doesn't care who. LM: Sparkplug's picking himself up again. While we prepare for our next match, let's go to some comments from Robski, who may well have put the Man Of Steel out of the IIWF for good: [Cut to Robski standing in front of a large Union Jack. "Land of Hope and Glory" is playing. He picks up a baton, and pretends to conduct the orchestra. The music builds up to a crescendo, Robski becomes more and more frantic -- for him, it is the Last Night of the Proms -- suddenly the music ends, and Robski comes back down.] ROBSKI: A bit of an anti-climax Really, a bit like me defeating you, Man Of Steel. You see, Steely -- may I call you Steely? Doesn't matter if I can't, really, does it? You see you are now in NO position to tell ME what to do, the fans have now seen you for what you are. You know when you came to the ring the silence was DEAFENING, the fans have TRULY turned against YOU. Maybe your new music should be "It's all so quiet" by the sultry Icelandic pop goddess, Bjork [he laughs], because the drug-taking accusations were certainly true, as were all of the others. You are a bit like that loser Dole, you cracked on about being virtuous, but had a big skeleton in the cupboard. I opened the cupboard and the skeleton came out, chased you, and haunted you. I am in a good mood today. I have lain the ghost of the Man Of Steel and hopefully sent you off to the spirit world, without wishing to sound like an X-Files anorak of course. Steel, you are now really my subordinate, you do as I tell you, when I tell you, and I would like to see YOU burning the stars and stripes too [starts to rub his hands]. Who's next then [laughs]? Now for some more inspiration. ["Ride of the Valkyries" starts to play. Robski picks up his baton and pretends to conduct again, he is oblivious to his surroundings. Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: I'm disgusted by this individual, folks. But something tells me that we won't be seeing the Man Of Steel back in the rings any time soon. Who is going to put a stop to Robski's nefarious activities? BL: I may not like Robski very much, Larry, but he's certainly effective. Perhaps now that he's put the Man In Tights out of the IIWF, people will start to sit up and take notice of his abilities. LM: I'll give him credit when he deserves it, and not before, Becky. Right, let's move on to our next match. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven is a very unhappy man following the loss of his World Championship last Saturday night to Dan Kauffman, and he's scheduled up next for action against "Nifty" Ned Norton. BL: Poor old Ned. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring, and raises his microphone:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, already in the ring, hailing from Sweet Home, Alabama, and weighing in at 265lbs, here is... the one... the only.... "Niiiiiiifty" Neeeed Nooooooorton! [Moderate pop for Ned, who looks out into the crowd, attempting to locate his loyal fan. Sure enough, in the fifth row, the goatee-sporting Ned supporter holds up a sign which reads, "Nifty Ned For President!" He is the object of much derision from the fans round about him, but he swats them away, mouthing at the camera that "Ned's number one!"] LM: There's no explaining fanaticism, is there, Becky? BL: A lot of things in life are inexplicable, Larry. Like quite why you're still here, for example. LM: Please, Becky, try to be nice. RA: And introducing his opponent: accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, hailing from Essen, Germany, and weighing in at 332lbs, here is the German juggernaut... Otto "the Butcher" Verhooooeeeeven! [Huge heel pop as the theme from "Halloween" kicks in over the PA, and Verhoeven steps out into the aisle. He has a determined look on his face, and Heidi looks positively vicious as she walks beside him. He raises a four-fingered salute to the camera in the aisle as he passes, but otherwise ignores the jeering fans and his surroundings.] LM: Now _there_ is a man looking for revenge, Becky. BL: And he's going to get it this Saturday when he takes on the Subway Sewer Rat, Larry. No doubt those two tramps of valets will have something to say about it, too. LM: Verhoeven's climbing the ringsteps -- and immediately he goes to work on Norton! This is just brutal! [Otto decimates Norton with a series of brutal jabs to the kidney and rib areas, and backs him into the corner. He proceeds to leather Norton with uppercuts, before choking him on the ropes. The referee calls for the break, but Verhoeven waits until after the count of five before releasing the choke, and the official berates him. Verhoeven threatens the official, and then grabs Norton by the throat. He picks him up easily with a single hand, and then brings him down hard on his knee with his patented backbreaker-chokeslam combination! Huge heel pop!] LM: No! The Slaughterslam well executed by Verhoeven there... he makes the cover... this was over before the bell even rang... one... two... three! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [Verhoeven pulls away from the referee as he tries to raise his arm, and raises three fingers to the crowd, who continue to jeer him. Verhoeven drags Norton to his feet a second time, and executes another Slaughterslam. The referee tries to intervene, and is met by a shove from the Teutonic terror. Verhoeven holds up two fingers as he drags Norton to his feet once more, and executes a third Slaughterslam. Huge heel pop! The Jobber Justice Squad make a dash for the ring, but are unable to prevent Verhoeven from holding up a single finger, and executing a fourth devastating Slaughterslam on a now unconscious Norton. Verhoeven proceeds to scatter the jobbers from the ring, although one manages to pull Norton out to safety. Nurse Heidi joins him in the ring, bringing with her the house microphone.] LM: This is total destruction! BL: Quiet, Larry. The great man's going to speak... [Verhoeven yells in German at the crowd for them to shut up. Eventually they settle sufficiently for him to speak:] OV: If you think that this was ugly, you bloated American pigs, you are sadly mistaken! The Butcher will conquer what his rightfully his own, and no schwachkopf will be able to stop me! No more mercy from now on, the IIWF has just been transformed into a pit full of victims! [Huge heel pop. Verhoeven throws down the microphone, and heads back up the aisle with Nurse Heidi.] LM: What a despicable individual, Becky. He won't be able to make the Subway Psycho roll over and beg like that on Saturday Night, you can be sure of that... hang on. There's a disturbance backstage... We've got a camera back there... I'm told that the Venusian Death Cell is involved... [Cut to a handheld shot of the backstage area of the Coliseum. The scene is one of chaos: cables, equipment and tables are strewn all over the place, and officials dash about attempting to restore order. The camera turns a corner and two brawling figures can be made out. One is the huge frame of the Venusian Death Cell.] LM: I'm being told over my earpiece that officials attempted to restrain the Cell in his locker room, but he burst out, injuring two security personnel, and proceeded to wreak havoc backstage... apparently, he ran into Legion backstage, and the two didn't even exchange words before brawling all over the Coliseum... the security teams are trying to cordon off the area until these two athletes burn themselves out... Wow! [The Cell throws Legion into a door, which splinters, and Legion tumbles through into a locker room. The Cell screams a hideous scream and launches into the room after him. The camera is jostled, and suddenly the feed cuts out. Cut hurriedly back to ringside.] LM: Sorry about that, folks. We seem to have a problem with power backstage in the Coliseum here tonight. I'll get you an update on just what's going on back there just as soon as I can. In the meantime, let's go to another report filed by the globe-trotting Senate as they spread the word of the IIWF overseas: [Cut to footage captioned "Senate World Tour: South America". The Hangman grabs The Dictator by the throat and slams him to the floor. The Dictator gets up and throws a hard left hook to Hangman's face. The Hangman stands erect and looks square into the eyes of the Dictator, who begins to look around for an avenue of escape. Hangman grabs the arm of The Dictator and whips him into the corner ring post. TD hits his forehead on the post and as he turns, blood is seen gushing from a wound above his eye. The Senator's voice is heard as the action continues:] TS: IIWF here is another title match from The Hangman. As you can see, the carnage continues. This week The Hangman is in South America where he is facing The Dictator, the South American Heavyweight Champion. [TH picks up TD again by the throat and smashes the back of his head into the ringpost. TD's eyes roll back into his head and TH tosses him into the ring.] TS: The IIWF's style of wrestling has created a storm of excitement here in South America. The Hangman and The Atomic Destroyers have run through the challengers like no other group has before. The South Americans were just not prepared for the all-out onslaught of my boys. [TH picks up TD and flips him upside down, getting ready to administer a piledriver. As he completes his move, a sickening crack is heard and the crowd begins to throw items into the ring. TH looks at the crowd and laughs. The Atomic Destroyers come down to the ring to cheer on TH.] TS: IIWF, take a look at the Atomic Destroyers, notice the difference in appearance. As you all can see, the black Hoods, the black tights and boots. Both are carrying the Hangman's Nooses given to them by The Hangman. [TH applies the Hangman's Noose. The eyes of the Dictator, which had been closed, are now popping out of their sockets. The ref signals for the bell and the announcer is heard saying: "...and the New South American Champion -- The Hangman!" TH releases the hold and goes to his corner where he grabs his rope and puts the noose around TD's neck. The Atomic Destroyers jump into the ring as wrestlers from the back storm the ring.] TS: The boys seem to be a cohesive unit, don't they? I believe you are seeing the future, IIWF. [TH tosses TD over the top rope and TD hangs there, kicking and gurgling. Wrestlers try to get into the ring. Just as fast as they do, the Atomic Destroyers toss them back out onto the floor. TH ties off his rope and signals TAD to grab the belt and leave. The video shifts to a close up of The Senator:] TS: Well, IIWF, what do you think? Did the South Americns get what the IIWF stands for? Did the IIWF get the picture of the future? So many questions. So many directions to go. IIWF, prepare yourselves for the return of the Senate. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: The Senate could well be back in the IIWF within a matter of a couple of weeks, and it seems that their tour is doing them a great deal of good, Becky. BL: It certainly does. I think they're really going to be a force to be reckoned with when they return to the rings. LM: Hey, Becky, we just agreed on something. BL: No we didn't. LM: Yes we did. BL: No. We didn't. LM: Okay, have it your way. Right now, folks, it's time to get some comments from the White Phoenix, who'll be in action later on tonight along with his tag partner, the "Enigma", to face the Dark Disciples. Can you manage without me for a few minutes, Becky? BL: Infinitely better than if you're here, Larry. [Larry leaves the broadcast table and steps into the ring.] LM: At this time I'd like to bring out a man who, last week, we saw take on two-thirds of the Syndicate at once and come out on top. Ladies and gentlemen, the White Phoenix! [The crowd begins cheering as the gong strike is heard throughout the arena, but there are no flames or pyrotechnics. The crowd noise dies down when Chow does not appear at the top of the aisle. A few seconds pass, the gong strike sounds again, and this time Chow steps out from the locker room exit. He's carrying a small pile of papers, and has a scabbard with a sword strapped to his back. He walks to the ring, occasionally giving high-fives with his free hand. When he gets into the ring, walls of flame erupt from all four sides of the apron. They die out after a few seconds.) LM: I have to admit, Phoenix, we all thought you were crazy when you challenged Tiger Claw and Hakiro Matsuoko in a flaming steel cage. It seems everyone thought that you were getting yourself into a situation too hot for yourself. Did you anticipate the result beforehand? WP: Suffice it to say that I had planned this match for a long time. I knew that hubris is the Syndicate's major weakness, and therefore the best point for an attack. And I knew that they would not be able to resist the idea of giving me a good beating, two on one. It was simply a matter of giving them what they thought they wanted, and then they followed me straight into the flames. LM: And what about the situation with Hakiro Matsuoko? We all saw the altercation that took place between him and Tiger Claw that night [a tape of part of the match rolls, when Matsuoko stops Tiger Claw from burning Chow and they begin arguing], which led to your escape from the ring. Did you think that would happen, or was it simply a lucky break on your part? WP: I was hoping that it would happen in that way. I have seen a change coming in Hakiro Matsuoko's soul. I must give the most credit to my friends the Rising Sun Revolution for bringing Matsuoko back to his senses, but I like to think that I played my part in it as well. By all rights I should hate him. He did, after all, cost me a championship. But I know that it was simply the influence of Brian Lau and his money. LM: Speaking of which, I'm sure you heard his comments after the match. Apparently you are going to court, Chow. WP: Yes, and that is why I was late for this interview. I was going through my financial records [he nods at the papers that he carrying] to make sure that Lau will get nothing. Brian Lau refuses to learn the lesson which I am trying to teach. If he wishes to take me to the battleground of finance and law, he will surely defeat me. But he will gain no benefit from it. LM: What do you mean? Lau probably has the funds and knowledge to take you for everything you own. WP: That's exactly it. I don't own anything. Lau didn't do his homework, or he would know that when I signed with the IIWF, I wouldn't accept their offer until they agreed to cut the salary that they had offered in half. Of that, I keep enough for a minimum of food and clothing. The rest goes to various worthy causes; I've donated most of my money to various martial arts dojos in California which save kids from the streets and train them self-respect, a better way than gangs. I have no home, as all the world is my home. As for my children being in debt, I have no need to worry about this either... [he smiles, embarrassed] let's just say that the fire did give me certain injuries that would make that impossible... LM: Please, don't elaborate. This is a family program. WP: [laughing] Of course. All that I truly own is this. [He reaches back and unsheathes the sword. It is slightly curved and covered with engraved symbols, which catch the light of the arena and shine it in all directions. It is obviously a weapon of superior craftsmanship, and the crowd gasps at the sight.] WP: This was given to me by my master before he was killed. If Lau wishes to take it from me, he will have to personally take it from my cold corpse. This I promise. LM: That is truly a beautiful weapon, though I'm not sure if you're allowed to have that here. I'll have to check the regulations about that. At any rate, I also wanted to ask you about... WP: I'm very sorry to interrupt, but I must be going. Along with my tag team partner, the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi [pop], there is still much to prepare before we battle the minions who are the Dark Disciples. LM: Very well. Ladies and gentlemen, Shinja Chow, the White Phoenix! [The crowd pops as Chow leaves the ring, carrying the sword and papers. Larry leaves the ring and returns to the broadcast table.] BL: Poor guy. He's like a lamb to the slaughter. Just wait until you see what the Disciples do to him and Mitsubishi. LM: That's Musashi, Becky. Up next, the Armed Forces will finally get their shot at the Alphabet Boys, the team whose absence from the IIWF since August has been gnawing away at Aaron's men. Let's go to the Forces' locker room now: [Cut to NavCom and DefCon in the locker room, getting ready for their match. Aaron the Caddy is standing at a chalkboard. He has many items written on it, and he is going through each of them one by one.) ATC: Now, these guys aren't too bright, correct? NC: Ha! They're idiots! We're going to baffle them to no end! DC: That's right. They run in and jump us from behind, and we're not too happy about all of it. We're going to confuse them into beating themselves up! ATC: Ok, guys. You know the deal. We need a win tonight, or else we may end up going our separate ways... you back to the military and me to unemployment. Get out there and do the job.... NC: No problem! Alphabet Boys, at Midsummer Madness you beat us up when we were on YOUR team. You cost a shot at the big match, and we're not too happy about it. You have been jumpin' us in the aisle for weeks now, and we finally get into the ring with you. DC: We're just as tough as you... but we're smart, too! And we're going to have you guys fighting each other when we get to the ring. And then it's... BAM! 1 - 2 - 3! Another win for the former champs. [The two hi-five and head toward the door of their locker rooms.] LM: We've been seeing both of these teams get involved with each other's matches for a few weeks now. BL: And the Alphabet Boys started it. Now I'm just wondering if they really meant to, or if it was just the result of a psychotic hallucination. LM: You can never tell with the Alphabet Boys, that's for sure. This time around, though, they really seem to have the fans behind them. BL: I think that's an accident, too. I honestly don't think they care much about who they fight. LM: I'm forced to agree with you there. It looks like Sparkplug Lee is about ready to announce the match, so let's get to ringside. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Armed Forces vs. Alphabet Boys -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the spotlight once again.] RA: Ladies and genltemen, this next tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 643 lbs and accompanied to the ring by Aaron the Caddy, here are NavCom, DefCon, the Armed Forces! [Sirens and explosions are heard as the Armed Forces, along with Aaron, make their way down the aisle. The crowd gives a heel pop, but the three men seem not to care. Aaron sports a shiny new golf club, and he polishes the head of it as they walk to the ring.] LM: Great. That's just what Aaron needed... Another golf club. BL: Well, the old one must have been getting a little beat up. They're not made for bashing heads, you know. RA: Their opponents, at a total combined weight of 589 lbs, here are Abie and Zed... the Alphabet Boys! [The crowd gives a solid pop, and Zed appears at the head of the aisle. Behind him, there seems to be a disturbance in the curtain dividing the backstage and the aisle. It seems as though Abie is having trouble finding the opening in the curtain. Zed looks back, and sticks his head back there, yelling at Abie. Both men come back out, and once again the crowd pops.] BL: What a pair of idiots... LM: Don't let their antics fool you, Becky. They're a real force to be reckoned with once they get into that ring. [The ABoys get into the ring, and begin to argue about who should start the match. Unable to come to a decision, they decide to just charge the two members of the Armed Forces. Abie shoulder tackles DefCon, and Zed dropkicks NavCom. Aaron the Caddy bails from the ring as the bell rings. The ref tries to break up the melee, but none of the four men seem to listen. Zed continues with punches on NavCom, and Abie has taken to headbutting DefCon. NavCom falls over the top rope and onto the floor, so Zed shrugs and leaves the ring, standing in his corner.] LM: Well _that's_ an interesting way of deciding who gets to start the match. BL: Yeah... It's kind of like they said "I'll flip _them_ for it..." [Abie and DefCon continue their slugfest, but the series of headbutts seems to have taken it's toll on DefCon. Abie scoops DefCon up high into the air and slams him down to the canvas. Zed calls Abie over, and Abie obliges. Zed seems to want the tag, but Abie keeps shaking his head. Zed finally slaps Abie on the shoulder, trying to force the tag, but Abie pushes Zed's shoulder in return. Zed pushes back, and Abie uses both hands to push Zed. Zed returns with the same, and Abie pushes hard, knocking Zed off the apron. Abie raises his arms in victory, and the crowd pops.] BL: You know, if I saw any other tag team do that, I'd think they were about to break up. LM: These guys really are unique, that's for sure. [Abie turns back to DefCon and drags him to his feet. DefCon jams a thumb into Abie's eye, and chops him across the chest, sending Abie staggering back. DefCon scoops Abie up and slams him into the canvas, then tags in NavCom. NavCom enters the ring, and drops a leg on the fallen Alphabet Boy. NavCom then drags Abie up and throws him into the ropes. NavCom also comes off the ropes, and hits Abie full force in the head with a flying forearm. Abie seems unaffected, and just stands there. NavCom gets up from the mat, showboating to the crowd, then notices Abie looking at him. NavCom shouts out "WHAT!?" and tries for a dropkick. Abie swats it aside. As NavCom gets up, Abie slams a double axehandle into his head. NavCom goes down, and Abie goes to tag in Zed. Zed looks at him, and won't take the tag. Abie slaps him on the shoulder, Zed pushes Abie's shoulder, Abie uses two hands to push Zed, and Zed snapmares Abie over the top rope. Abie lands on the floor more or less on his feet, and Zed enters the ring.] LM: I guess the ref is going to accept that as a tag... BL: I see. The rules don't apply to these guys? [Zed closes in on NavCom, and drags him up. He throws him into the ropes, and snapmares him on the rebound. The crowd pops as Zed goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by NavCom. Zed drags NavCom up again and hits a powerbomb, then goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Navcom. Aaron is going ballistic on the outside, and spies Abie standing on the floor, confused. Aaron sneaks up behind him. In the ring, Zed hits a gutwrench suplex on NavCom, and again goes for the cover. Aaron, on the outside, waits for the ref to count... 1 - Aaron hits Abie with the golf club, knocking him down - 2 - Kickout by NavCom. Big heel pop as Abie holds his head. Zed locks a headlock onto NavCom, and gets thrown into the ropes. Zed ducks a clothesline, and DefCom enters the ring. The ref tries to eject him. Zed gets leapfrogged, and gets hit in the back by Aaron's golf club as he comes off the ropes again. Zed falls to the mat, and Navcom climbs to the tope rope.] LM: That was a blatant rule breaking thingy! BL: But the ref didn't see it. [NavCom comes off the top rope with a huge splash, and goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Big heel pop! The Armed Forces both enter the ring, closing in on Zed. They begin stomping on the fallen man. On the outside, Abie fights to his feet, and notices the beating taking place in the ring. Suddenly, he shakes the cobwebs away and enters the ring, going to town to the Armed Forces. NavCom and DefCon are seemingly overwhelmed by the onslaught of Abie's attack, and leap from the ring over the top rope. Abie continues to swing his fists until he connects with a turnbuckle. He then grabs the turnbuckle and begins pounding away at it. There is a big pop as the Armed Forces head back up the aisle and Zed gets back to his feet. Zed sees his partner giving the turnbuckle a thrashing, and walks up behind him. He taps Abie on the shoulder, and Abie swings around, fists up. Zed suddenly assumes a fighting stance and says things like "Want some? Oh, yeah, you'll be gettin' some..." The ref gets between them, trying to break up the scuffle. The two Alphabet Boys see the ref, and both put their fists down, shrug, and raise the refs arms in victory. The crowd pops and laughs when they notice that the ref's feet are well off of the floor.] LM: Well, the Armed Forces seem to have won the match, but not without Aaron using that club of his. BL: Hey, it's an advantage that The Armed Forces would be stupid to overlook. Besides, that club has won them countless matches in the past. LM: Well, I don't think this situation is over. I think the Alphabet Boys are going to want to get their hands on the Armed Forces again. BL: If they can actually stay together as a team until then... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi & White Phoenix vs. Dark Disciples =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: This grudge match has been a long time coming. Don McQueen has basically set his devil-worshipping tag team loose on Takezo Musashi. BL: Well, what do you expect? That Monchichi made him look like an ass a few months ago. LM: It was McQueen that made a big deal out of it. Musashi wanted their parting to be amicable. BL: To a professional like McQueen, an athelete's contract isn't over until he says it's over. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is a special tag team contest scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team of the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and the "White Phoenix" Shinja Chow! [Takezo Musashi's ring music begins to play, and the two men appear at the head of the aisle. They both bow in respect to the crowd, then to each other, and begin hi-fiving fans as they make their way towards the ring.] LM: Both these wrestlers are technically sound when it comes to the martial arts. BL: But I can't see them being able to use that knowledge against the sheer power of the Disciples. Those guys are just too crazy for a level head to prevail. RA: Their opponents, being led to the ring by "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, Kane and Wulf, the Dark Disciples! [The crowd gives a heel pop, and the Disciples run madly down to ringside, and slide into the ring. Chow and Musashi are ready, however, and go toe to toe with the two maniacs. Surprisingly, the smaller men come out ahead, and get the upper hand in the slugfest. Musashi dropkicks Wulf out of the ring, and stands near the ropes. Chow throws Kane twoards Musashi, and the Enigma leaps into the air, grabs Kane's head between his legs, and grabs the ropes behind him. Musashi executes a variation of a hurricarana, throwing Kane over the top rope, and swinging himself back into the ring. The crowd cheers as the two martial artists stand triumphantly in the ring. Chow blows a cloud of fire from his mouth.] BL: Where the hell did that come from? LM: I don't know. Chow's background is very mysterious. You've got to wonder if he's not supernatural. BL: Don't start, you dork... Next you'll be going on about how Deathbringer is really the force of darkness. LM: Well... [Wulf screams on the outside at the sight of the flame, and he nearly goes berserk. Kane and McQueen try to calm him, but he breaks free and storms into the ring, attacking both Chow and Musashi. Wulf bodychecks Musashi into the corner, and Musashi hits hard and slumps to the floor. Wulf then goes after Chow and begins to choke him relentlessly. The ref begins to lay a count on the choke, but Wulf swings Chow around so much that it's hard for the ref to stay with him. Wulf slams Chow down to the mat and begins stomping him, screaming like a madman. Musashi takes his place in his corner, and Kane calls out to Wulf. Wulf turns around and tags in Kane. Kane enters the ring, and drags Chow up to his feet. he throwd Chow into the ropes and hits him with a double chop to the throat, which causes Chow to fall to the mat, clutching at his neck. Kane picks Chow up and throws him towards Musashi, yelling for the Enigma to make the tag. Musashi does.] BL: Not a very smart move by Musashi... He's going to get torn apart. LM: You're saying that after Chow offered his help to Musashi, the Enigma should turn tail and run? BL: Yep. [Musashi gets into the ring slowly and keeps an eye on Kane. Chow slumps in his corner, holding his throat and trying to get more air. Musashi locks up with Kane, and gets the upper hand. He slips around behind Kane and executes a belly-to-back suplex. Kane hits the mat hard, and Musashi gets to his feet, flips back onto his hands, and flips around in the air, hitting an elbow drop onto Kane's chest. The crowd cheers. Musashi drags Kane up and throws him into the ropes. Musashi runs against the ropes as well, and attempts a spinning leg lariat, but Kane ducks. Musashi crashes to the floor, and Kane tags in Wulf. Wulf enters the ring, roaring, and drags Musashi up. He scoops up Musashi, then slams him hard onto the mat. Wulf falls to his knees and begins biting the forehead of Musashi. The ref tries to call for the break, but Wulf doesn't listen. Finally, the ref tries to physically separate Wulf from Musashi, and Wulf slugs him with a backhand. The ref falls hard, and groggily signals for the bell from the mat. Realizing that all hell is about to break loose, Chow flies into the ring, meeting Kane, who has also run in.] LM: Here we go. This is typical of how the tag ranks have been the past few weeks. BL: I know. I love it! [Wulf continues chewing on Musashi's head, which seems to be leaking blood slightly. Chow battles with Kane in the centre of the ring, and on the outside, Don McQueen has thrown one of the officials out of his chair. Wulf turns to see his partner getting hit, and stops his feasting. He kicks Chow in the midsection, and Kane promptly DDTs Chow into the canvas. McQueen throws the chair into the ring, and Kane grabs it. He walks over to Musashi and pushes it down on his throat, causing Musashi to flail his arms and legs about. Chow fights to get to his hands and knees, but seems a little too groggy to do so. The Jobber Justice Squad runs to the ring, led by El Super Gecko wearing the new IIWF Jobber Justice Squad T-Shirt, complete with a portriat of "Nifty" Ned Norton on the back giving the thumbs up. The Squad restrains the two maniacs in the ring, and a couple tend to the injured martial artists.] BL: Leave it to these nobodies to get involved in a good fight. LM: If it wasn't for the Jobber Justice Squad, we'd have a big problem in the IIWF. They don't even get paid for helping out, you know. BL: Kind of like what the IIWF expects me to do. [The Squad escorts the Disciples out of the ring, who seem uncharacteristically co-operative. The Disciples are taken out to the locker room area. In the ring, Chow and Musashi get to their feet, Chow holding his head, and Musashi bleeding from his.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners, as a result of a disqualification, the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and the White Phoenix Shinja Chow! [The crowd pops as the two men raise their hands.] LM: Well, at least justice has prevailed. BL: Yes, but the mark in the win column isn't indicative of how they got their heads beat in. LM: Perhaps not, but they'll live to fight another day. I understand that Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, who was attacked by Mr. Damage earlier on tonight, has a few comments backstage: [Cut to Steve "The Fury" Kowalski standing in front of the camera with a T-shirt that says, "Send me your weak, your poor, your CHAMPIONS and I will KILL THEM!" Throwing his gym bag over his shoulder he starts walking toward the exit. The cameraman is trying to keep up. He does take some time for a parting shot.] SK: Let me read a quick scripture for you. "An' as I walked thru the valley of the shadow of DEATH, there stood the meanest bastard I ever laid my eyes 'pon! At his feet lay a Sandman. The Sandman was cryin' 'cause he knew HELL hath no _Fury_ like a Kowalski!" Sermon's over, pickle licker. And as for you, Damage -- your career's over! [He pushes the camera away and heads out. Cut back to the announcers' table.] LM: Well, there you go, folks. Kowalski swears that he will get his revenge on Mr. Damage. In just a few moments, it'll be time for our unusual "speciality move submission match" between Lord Byron and Marty Warnett. These two seem to be chucking equally unlikely stories of Byron's past to and fro, but what we really want to see is how these two athletes match up in the ring. BL: Comparing Walnut and Byron is like comparing ice cream to sh... LM: [interrupting] Yes, thank you, Becky. Let's get back down to ringside. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= SPECIALITY MOVE SUBMISSION MATCH: Lord Byron vs. Marty Warnett =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is a speciality move submission match, in which the two combatants will only be able to claim victory if they force their opponent to submit to their trademark finisher. All other form of decision -- countout, disqualification and pinfall -- do not apply in this match. BL: Did you catch all that, Larry? LM: Of course I did, Becky. RA: Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the lovely Lady DeWinter, hailing from Lancashire, England, and weighing in at 275lbs, here is the master of the Aristoclutch... Loooord Byron! [Big heel pop as Byron appears at the head of the aisle, with DeWinter following close on his heels. He ignores the fans as he walks to the ring, but DeWinter taunts the jeering crowd. She draws Byron's attention to one particularly abusive fan who holds a homemade sign reading, "Lord Byrite Blows!" Byron merely sneers in that fan's direction, and continues down the aisle. However, the fan jostles down along the railings, and reaches the bottom of the aisle ahead of the stately Byron. She throws something into his path, and Byron, with his nose stuck a mile in the air, fails to notice the banana skin in his path. He slips and falls on his backside, to a huge pop! The "fan" then reveals herself to be Harlequin Comedy!] LM: It's the Harlequins! I guess their revenge on Byron has started already! You'll remember that last week Byron cost Tragedy a victory against Marty Warnett when he interfered... BL: If Tragedy had half a brain, he'd keep that tramp out of the line of fire. Byron is _not_ pleased. [Byron gets straight to his feet, humiliated, and looks fruitlessly into the crowd for Comedy, who has disappeared into the sea of faces. deWinter calms him down sufficiently for him to enter the ring and regain his composure, despite the jeers of the crowd.] RA: And introducing his opponent: from Cardiff, Wales, and weighing in at 245lbs, here is the IIWF's party maniac... Maaaaarty Waaarnett! [Huge pop as "Cold Gin" kicks in and Warnett jogs down the aisle, hi-fiving the fans as he comes. However, he seems preoccupied with Byron, and quickly enters the ring. Byron, still fuming from his embarrassment, leaps in and attacks Warnett, jumping him before the bell. Warnett is subdued by the fury of Byron's attacks, and Byron immediately starts working on Warnett's left leg. He executes a snap DDT on Warnett, taking the wind out of his sails, and then proceeds to continue working on his leg, snapping it back to stretch the hamstring, and twisting it to put strain on the knee. Warnett screams in pain, and the referee calls for the break. Byron, however, is too fired up to back off, and the official lays on the count - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - Byron finally releases the pressure on Warnett's leg, and begins arguing with the referee. Warnett, meanwhile, drags himself to his feet using the ropes, only to have his legs taken out from under him by a vicious swipe from the Lady DeWinter.] LM: No! There was no call for that! BL: Guess that's her revenge for Warnett's attack on her a couple of weeks ago. LM: He apologised already for that! He brought her a rose! BL: If you think you can buy off a woman with a single rose, Larry, you have another thing coming. LM: What, you mean, it takes a dozen? ...argh! BL: Moron. [Warnett rolls to the outside, and moves towards DeWinter, but before he reaches her, Byron attacks him from behind, clipping his knee and sending him crashing into the steel crowd railings. Byron continues the assault on the outside, and Warnett, whilst taking the occasional potshot, is clearly troubled by the damage to his leg. Byron throws him back into the ring, and applies a figure four leglock on Warnett, a sick smile on his face.] LM: This is disgusting! Byron's using Warnett's own finisher on him! BL: And even if Warnett yells, "I quit!" at the top of his voice, the match won't finish until Byron puts him in the Aristoclutch! This is great. LM: You're getting as bad as Steve Roberts, Becky... hang on, Warnett's rolling over to reverse the hold! Yes, he's done it! Look at Byron, yelling in pain! [Byron inches to the ropes, and finally breaks out of the hold. He seems to have been slowed down by the leglock, and both he and Warnett take some time to get back to their feet. They meet in the centre of the ring once more and get into a slugfest, Warnett taking the upper hand. He whips Byron into the ropes and executes a powerslam on the blueblood, dropping an elbow on him while still prone, and making the cover - 1 - 2 - Byron kicks out!] LM: Warnett's clearly not going to go down without a fight here tonight, Becky. BL: Unlike, say, the Man Of Steel. LM: Please, that's disgusting. This is a family show. BL: Not any more. LM: Hang on -- here comes Lace, Stud Stetson's valet, down to ringside! What does she want?! BL: Just to flaunt her trashy self all over the place, I expect. [Lace saunters down to the ring, and begins making eyes at Warnett, beckoning him to come over to the side of the ring. Warnett lays Byron out with a big right hook, and rolls out of the ring. He begins berating Lace, but he is soon shut up as Lace begins rubbing him and pressing herself up against him.] LM: What's going on here?! BL: I told you she was trash. And trash with bad taste, it seems. [Suddenly, just as Warnett is beginning to enjoy himself, Stud Stetson leaps over the crowd barrier out of nowhere in his street clothing, and proceeds to attack Warnett's already weakened knee, stomping on it with heavy, toe-capped boots. The crowd erupt into huge jeers. Byron leaves the ring and drags Warnett away from the assault, while Stetson merely stands at ringside, laughing. He approaches the broadcast table, and Larry confronts him:] LM: Stetson, what the hell do you think you're doing?! Warnett's never had any problem with you! SS: Are you really that dumb, Morton? I told you I was going to make some noise tonight, and I am sure that did it. I warned the IIWF they won't like what I do but I could care less. Warnett, you're an adored competitor here and that is enough reason for me to attack you. Whenever I have a chance to trash these moronic fans' heroes I will take advantage of it. LM: You're sick! SS: Yeah, ain't I, though? [Stetson raises his arms to the crowd and begins to move away from ringside, but he is stopped by the equally sudden appearance of Harlequin Tragedy, who hops over the barrier and confronts him. The crowd buzz as the two newcomers have a dispute on the outside. Meanwhile, inside the ring, Byron locks the Aristoclutch on Warnett: Byron grabs Warnett's foot while he is face down on the canvas, and twists it around his own leg before throwing himself down to the canvas backwards in a very painful legbreaker. Maintaining this hold, Byron reaches back and pulls up Warnett's head before locking on a modified sleeperhold. Byron then bridges his back to exert the pressure, steadying his balance with his other leg. Warnett yells out in pain, but refuses to submit. The official continues to check on Warnett, who is unable to break the hold, but Warnett still refuses to submit.] LM: Warnett won't give up... and Stetson and Tragedy continue to have an altercation on the outside... BL: Wow, two things go on at once and Larry's brain goes into meltdown. [Security personnel come down to the ring and separate Tragedy and Stetson, dragging the "Superstar" and Lace back to the locker rooms. Meanwhile, the referee signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding!] LM: What's going on here?! Did Warnett submit? RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has stopped this contest, ruling that Marty Warnett is unable to continue. Therefore, the winner of this match: Loooooorrrd Byyyyrrron! [Big heel pop as Byron stands and rolls from the ring where he is congratulated by DeWinter. Meanwhile, Warnett rolls in the ring, clearly in tremendous pain. The official helps him to his feet.] LM: What a miscarriage of justice. Byron gets the victory due to that unprovoked attack from Stud Stetson... and give Warnett credit, Becky. He had a lot of heart -- he wasn't going to give up, no matter what. BL: That's why he's a loser, Larry. Sometimes you've just got to accept that to win in the long run, you've got to take a few hits in the short run. LM: I dare say that things between Warnett, Byron, Stetson and the Harlequins are by no means over. Right now, it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for -- I'm going to get some comments from the IIWF's new champion, Dan Kauffman. BL: Oh, yeah, I've been waiting for that all evening, Larry. LM: Sarcasm doesn't become you, Becky. BL: Yeah? Well, _living_ doesn't become you, Larry. LM: [sighs] Back in a minute. [Larry Morton climbs into the ring with microphone in hand, as "Zero" starts up over the PA system at the Coliseum. The crowd starts popping like mad!] LM: Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time is the _NEW_ IIWF World Heavyweight Champion! Please welcome... DAN "FLASH" KAUFFMAN!!! [The crowd noise reaches painful levels, and a spotlight shines in the crowd close to the back of the Coliseum, where Dan Kauffman, IIWF World Championship belt raised above his head, walks through the crowd! A few fans hug Kauffman, others yell their support, others hi-five him, and one guy is heard telling Kauffman, "You can take Cadaver, believe!" Kauffman smiles and shakes the fans' hand, then hops over the crowd barrier and slides into the ring before hopping onto the turnbuckle and raising the Championship above his head once more and pointing and applauding his thousands of fans! Finally, Kauffman hops down, shakes Morton's hand, and starts the interview...] DK: Okay Larry, for this particular interview, all you have to do is stand in the corner and let _me_ have the mic. Easy enough? [Larry leaves the ring and returns to the broadcast table.] DK: First off, it's been a long six months, and the months just keep getting longer and longer every month. Let me say this: this IIWF World Heavyweight Championship... [Kauffman lets that sink in a little, like a young boy that has just passed a quiz. Kauffman looks at the title and smiles himself...] This belongs to the fans! Always has, and always will! [Huge pop!] When I was down, when I was out, when I was hurting so bad that I had lost hope, you all... EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!... You guys never let me die. You were always there, and believe me, there were times that I was ready to call it quits, only to bounce back for you fans. That's the greatest feeling in the world. Not having a championship, not winning a match, but hearing tens of thousands of your fellow humans supporting you 100 percent. I say to all of you: thank you from the bottom of my heart. [The crowd gives Kauffman a standing ovation, and Kauffman waves to quite a few of the fans in the front row.] LM: [over the headset] Just listen to these fans, Becky. I've not heard anything like this. BL: [over the headset] This guy just makes me want to puke. DK: Thank you. Now returning to business... I know that my long road isn't anywhere close to the end. I know that Quigley -- wherever he may be -- wants his shot, as he is due for one. I know that Otto wants another match, and wants it soon. I know that Mr. Damage still has a score to settle with me. But only two men have my attention at this time. The first is Deathbringer. [The crowd responds wioth resounding boos throughout the Coliseum...] Deathbringer, we've had our wars in the distant past, and through it all, we came to know and understand one another. But never did I trust you. You are a man that stands alone, who makes his own decisions. I have no doubt that you did what you felt was best for you. But 'Bringer, you will have to answer the reaction that comes from your new change of heart. You are a powerful force, as I felt many times. If destiny wants us to fight once more, than so be it. But Deathbringer, let me make one thing perfectly clear. While our time may come again, my time with Cadaver comes first. Deathbringer, let the war between Cadaver and I go without interference. [The crowd mumbles a little bit, but generally remains silent.] Now... Cadaver, I just can't seem to get away from you, can I? I've said a million times that even I don't know what will happen if we do meet face to face in the ring. You could end my career, and I full well know that. [Kauffman pauses, as if contemplating something in his head. The crowd begins to shuffle around again...] Cadaver, this... [Raises the World Heavyweight Championship above his head once more] means a lot to me. [Kauffman lays the belt on the ground...] But not as much as you do. That belt came through hard work and a slap of fate, amazingly enough, given my luck. But Cadaver, that belt means nothing when you come calling. You still have my lifeline, and you are the one I must overcome in the end. Not Otto, not 'Bringer, not Quigley... only you, Cadaver. Cadaver, If you are listening right now, wherever you are... and I know you are here in the arena... then this is what I have to say. If you want me out of professional wrestling, if you want to cripple me and maim me and put me out of existence from the wrestling world forever, then you can do it right now. [A shocked gasp rises from the crowd.] Cadaver, you can come out and put me out right now if you so desire, and I'll just stand here without any kind of defense whatsoever. I've had enough of the bullshit that we've played... You want to end my career, do it now. Because if you wait 'til our match, that's when I'll fight for my life. It's your decision. [Kauffman pauses, and the crowd begins chanting, "Kauff - man! Kauff - man!".] LM: [over the headset] Is Cadaver here? Is Cadaver going to attack? BL: [over the headset] Don't be stupid, Larry. Why would Cadaver attack just when that moron _asks_ him to? That's not death's way... [The chant eventually dies down, and Kauffman smiles, motioning to the crowd to settle.] DK: Have it your way then. Cadaver, when we do meet, you may pound me so bad that I will never recover. But I won't have to. Cadaver, no one has ever questioned my desire. If you wait for the match, I guarantee you that you will have a lot to deal with. And when the time comes... Well... [Dan turns once more to his thousands of fans, who start to cheer again.] That's when I will need all of you more than I ever have. You've lifted me up so many times when I needed it. I only ask for your support one last time. If this is the end of the road, I need to know that you were all there for me. [The crowd stands and give their all for Kauffman by way of applause. There are shouts and cheers as Kauffman picks up the IIWF World Title belt...] This belt means a lot. But the fans mean more to me. And Cadaver, we'll see just who is the better man. ["Zero" starts up once more over the PA, and Kauffman makes his way back up the aisle, having circuited the ring, at times almost being enveloped by the hands of the eager fans who want to touch the belt. Eventually, he disappears behind the curtain at the head of the aisle and back into the locker room area.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare & Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Tiger Claw & Casey "Blackheart" James =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: If there was any doubt as to Hakiro Matsuoko's loyalties, this match should put them to rest. BL: I hate to admit it, but I think you might be right. I really hate it when you're right. LM: Well, I'm right a lot. BL: No, you're not. LM: Okay... Well, I think that the match is about to get underway. Let's get down to ringside. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's main event is a special tag match that is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Hakiro Matsuoko and the Intercontinental champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! ["Little Willie" begins to play over the PA, and Billy Shakespeare and Matsuoko come out to the head of the aisle. Both men bow, Billy with a flourish, and Matsuoko with a rigid, martial arts style bow. The fans give a good pop, and the two men walk the aisle. Hakiro stops by a kid with a sign that reads "Atta boy, Hakiro!" Matsuoko turns away and continues up the aisle.] LM: One thing's for sure, Hakiro Matsuoko is all business when it comes down to getting in the ring. BL: He's making a big mistake getting into the ring with the two remaining Syndicate members. I guarantee that they're looking for some payback for his mistakes as of late. RA: Their opponents, being led to the ring by Brian Lau, The Syndicate, Casey James and former three-time Intercontinental champion, Tiger Claw! [Tiger Claw's Thai boxing music begins to play, and the crowd gives a solid heel pop. The Syndicate appears at the head of the aisle, with Brian Lau giving them some last minute pointers. They walk down the aisle, Casey flexing his arms. They get into the ring.] LM: My question is who are the Syndicate going to focus on most here? Is Tiger Claw going to try and redeem himself after losing the belt, or are both of them going to go after Hakiro for turning his back on them? BL: I could see them going after both. This _is_ a tag match, after all. LM: Wait a minute... Oh, great... Here comes Brian Lau. [Brian walks in behind the broadcaster's table, and puts on a headset.] BL: Hello, Brian. Glad to have you here with us. LAU: Oh, the pleasure would be mine if it weren't for this boob sitting next to me. BL: Hey, watch yer mouth... LAU: I meant Larry Morton. BL: Oh, that's okay then... LM: Hey... [The bell rings, and Tiger Claw starts off for the Syndicate. Hakiro starts off for his team. Claw and Hakiro walk straight up to each other, and a staredown begins. The two men begin having words with each other, and the conversation seems to get a little heated. Tiger Claw throws a punch, and Hakiro blocks, then throws a punch of his own, which is blocked by Claw. Claw unleashes a round kick, which Hakiro blocks with his own shin. Hakiro pushes Claw back with his foot, and Claw moves back in. Hakiro catches Claw in a headlock, and Claw throws him into the ropes. Hakiro bounces off, and ducks a clothesline from Claw. Hakiro comes off the opposite ropes, and Claw tries to catch him in an armdrag takedown. Hakiro blocks, and reverses into an armdrag of his own. Claw hits the mat, but springs back up and charges Hakiro. Claw attempts a flying knee strike, but Hakiro dodges and sweeps Claw's legs out from under him when he lands. Claw jumps back up quickly and gets in Hakiro's face.] LM: We're seeing some fast action here from two of the best former Intercontinental champs of all time. LAU: Well, Hakiro has had the benefit of training with Tiger Claw. He learned all those moves from Claw, after all. BL: Which has Claw off of his game. Claw should tag in Casey to inflict some real damage here. [Claw pushes Hakiro back and points to Shakespeare. Hakiro looks to the crowd, who pop, telling him to make the tag. Hakiro walks to his corner, and tags in Billy. Shakespeare begins to enter the ring, but is cut off by a rushing knee by Claw. Claw drags Shakespeare in, and Hakiro steps out. Claw cinches Shakespeare's head, and unleashes the Knee Fury. Claw throws knee after knee into Shakespeare's midsection, then leaps up and catches him on the chin with a hopping knee. Shakespeare reels back, and Claw looks to the crowd, who give a heel pop. Claw closes in for a follow up attack, but gets a shoulder in the midsection for his trouble. Shakespeare kicks the doubled-over Claw, then comes off the ropes for a sunset flip... 1 - Kickout by Claw. Both men get up, and Shakespeare executes a single leg takedown, then applies a spinning toe hold. The crowd gives a mixed pop as "Blitz Lightning" Bobby Lincoln appears at the head of the aisle.] LM: What's _he_ doing out here?! BL: I hope he's come here to beat on Shakespeare a bit... LM: That might help with Tiger Claw's performance... LAU: Shut up! [Claw powers out of the hold and gets up, charging. Shakespeare is ready for him, though, and leaps up for a hurricarana. Claw catches Billy and drives him down in an Oriental style powerbomb. The ref counts the pin... 1 - Kickout by Shakespeare. Hakiro looks on without evidence of emotion on his face. Claw leaps up and tags in Casey. Casey rushes into the ring and drags Billy up, throwing him into the ropes. Shakespeare runs in on the rebound and is caught in a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster. Shakespeare holds his midsection on the mat, and Casey stands over him, taunting. Casey drags Shakespeare up again and and throws him into the ropes once more, locking on an abdominal stretch on the way back. Lincoln watches intently, and shakes his head.] BL: Casey has really improved lately. LAU: Of course. He's a member of the most exclusive training club in the world. LM: So exclusive that ex-members are beaten into hospitalization? LAU: Yes. You'll have to excuse me... I'm noticing Casey needs some help in the subtleties of that move. I must give him some pointers... [Lau gets up from the table over to the side of the ring that Casey and Shakespeare are closest to. Tiger Claw notices, and runs over to berate Hakiro. Hakiro enters the ring, but the ref cuts him off. Lau calls up to Casey, and Casey turns his head. Lau throws Casey something, and Casey catches it. Shakespeare tries to move to the ropes, but Casey uses the object on Shakespeare's exposed ribs. Hakiro refuses to listen to the ref, and stays in the ring, distracting the ref from the illegal activities from Casey James. Tiger Claw joins Casey on beating on the ribs of Shakespeare by using axe kicks, hitting his heel into the IC champ. The crowd's boos get almost deafening as Shakespeare falls to his knees. Casey lets go of the abdominal stretch and throws the object back out to Brian Lau. Lincoln, still at the head of the aisle, waves off Shakespeare and goes back into the lockerroom area.] LM: This is insane! What is Hakiro doing?! Get him out of the ring, ref! BL: Maybe his loyalties aren't really as cut and dry as you think, Larry. He doesn't look all that eager to get into the ring, he just doesn't seem to want to get out. [Tiger Claw leaves the ring, allowing Casey to take on Shakespeare on his own. At almost the same time, Hakiro leaves the ring as well, allowing the ref to turn back to the action. Casey drags Shakespeare up and executes a side-breaker, driving his knee into Shakespeare's ribs. Casey turns to the crowd and flexes his arms, who give a very loud heel pop. Casey turns back to Shakespeare and drags him to his feet again. Shakespeare gives a few shots to Casey's stomach, but they don't seem to have an effect, because Casey turns to Tiger Claw and Brian Lau to laugh. Casey lowers a forearm onto Shakespeare's face, but holds onto him so he doesn't fall. Casey sets Shakespeare up on the top rope, and signals for the Black Death spinebuster. Casey goes up to the ropes as well, and lifts the IC champ up. Casey shifts Shakespeare a bit, and jumps off the ropes, driving Shakespeare, side first, into the mat. The crowd boos as Casey goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Big heel pop!] LM: I don't believe this... Shakespeare beaten by Casey James? BL: You couldn't expect him to get out of that pin after the beating his ribs took. LM: And he's still getting beaten! Look! [Tiger Claw jumps into the ring again, and both members of the Syndicate take turns stomping on the injured ribs of Billy Shakespeare. The crowd gives a heel pop.] LM: Hakiro's got to get in there to stop the beating his partner is taking! BL: I don't think he wants to. He's leaving the ring! [Hakrio hops off of the apron and around ringside to the aisle. Brian intercepts him, and opens his arms wide, welcoming Hakiro back. Hakiro looks at him, and continues up the aisle, leaving Brian standing there, confused. The crowd seems confused as well. In the ring, Casey and Claw continue their assault on Billy Shakespeare. They stop for a moment, and Claw motions for Casey to hold the champ. Casey does, and holds Shakespeare's arm up. Claw stands in front of Shakespeare, and slaps him in the face a few times. Shakespeare spits at Claw, which seems to send Claw into a rage. He winds up, and executes a huge round shin kick to Shakespeare's ribs. Shakespeare howls out in pain, and Casey laughs. The crowd begins to pop large as the Subway Psycho sprints down to the ring and begins raining shots down on both Casey and Tiger Claw. The two Syndicate members bail from the ring, and make threatening gestures towards Psycho. Psycho stands over Shakespeare, telling them to "bring it on." Brian calms Claw and Casey down, and leads them back up the aisle.] LM: What have we just seen here? Hakiro didn't help his partner out, but he didn't acknowledge any loyalty to the Syndicate? Where does he stand? BL: Speaking of standing, Shakespeare's won't be able to do much of that in the morning. Did you see that kick? Woweee... [Psycho tends to Shakespeare in the ring, who is holding his side. Psycho helps the champ up, and Shakespeare takes a breath. He holds his side lightly and winces, but nods his head. Psycho raises Shakespeare's arm in victory, and the crowd gives a huge pop.] LM: Well, it looks like Shakespeare is okay for now. BL: But he's not going to be in very good shape for his title defense this weekend. LM: Against Casey James... This is starting to make sense. BL: Just now? Larry, I figured that out a while ago. Brian is always... LM: One step ahead. I know. But what about Hakiro? BL: He's a mystery. I don't know what the deal is with him... LM: Folks, I'm going to try and get to the bottom of this situation with Hakiro Matsuoko, and I'll also get an update on the condition of the Intercontinental Champion, but we're right out of time for tonight. There will be more live IIWF action this Saturday night here in the Coliseum, featuring Randy Acorn taking on Matsuoko for the Cruiserweight championship, and Casey James facing Shakespeare, if he's able to make it to the ring. Plus Rising Sun Revolution will be defending their tag team titles against a mystery team of Brian Lau's choosing. At the top of the show, it seemed that the Syndicate was down for the count, but it's amazing how much things can change in just one hour. Fans, don't miss Tim Dross with another IIWF Control Centre Update on Friday, but for now, this is Larry Morton, on behalf of Becky LaRue, saying... BL: [interrupting] Nighty-night, everyone! LM: Becky! [The commentary is faded out and the theme music kicks in as the shot cuts to a wide-angle of the Psycho helping Shakespeare up the aisle to the locker room area. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+