[Fade up onto footage of Midweek Mayhem's tag match pitting Billy Shakespeare and Hakiro Matsuoko against Casey James and Tiger Claw: Shakespeare is attacked by Claw and James.] VO: Wounded animals are at their most dangerous when backed into a corner, and on Wednesday night, the remainder of the Syndicate came out with teeth and claws bared -- Tiger Claw and Casey James administered a heavy beating on newly-crowned IIWF Intercontinental Champion, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare. [Cut to footage of the Subway Psycho coming to the aid of Shakespeare. He helps a grimacing Shakespeare back up the aisle.] VO: Tonight, the Syndicate attempts to take back the title which it has dominated for months. Casey "Blackheart" James battles the injured Billy Shakespeare for the Intercontinental Championship. Has Billy's star quality been tarnished by the unwelcome advances of the covetous Syndicate? Or will Shakespeare prove that he truly is Born to Perform? [The title music thunderously cuts in, and the opening graphics explode onto the screen.] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ----------------------------------------------- + LiVE! + IIWF Coliseum + 16 November, 1996 + [The opening graphics contort and twist off the screen, and the music drops to a barely audible beat as the cheers of the capacity crowd in the IIWF Coliseum is mixed through. Spotlights cast their swirling myriad colours over the sea of twenty thousand merchandise-bedecked, sign-waving fans. The IIWF logo spins on the canvas of the ring. Pan down past row upon row of fans to the broadcast table, at which stand Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF Coliseum! We are coming at you live and loud with another action-packed night of wrestling entertainment. I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is my broadcast partner, the inimitable "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: And as always, the displeasure is all mine. TD: What a show we've got lined up tonight, fans! At the top of the hour, you heard about the big main event pitting newly-crowned Intercontinental Champion Billy Shakespeare against Casey "Blackheart" James in his first defence. Billy might be born to perform, Steve, but I think his rib injury is going to very seriously hamper his chances of hanging onto that title tonight. SR: It's a foregone conclusion, Dross. That title goes back to the Syndicate tonight. In fact, I think the Syndicate will also be taking another championship right here tonight. TD: Well, Brian Lau is intent on restoring the Syndicate's supremacy here in the IIWF, and what better way than to take not only the Intercontinental Championship, but also the Tag Team belts? Do you know who Lau's mystery team will be, Steve? SR: For once, Dross, I've been kept in the dark by my good friend, Brian Lau. It's going to be as much of a surprise to me as it is to everybody else -- but I can guarantee that Lau will have found a partnership who are focused, talented and cohesive. It's going to be a great night for the Syndicate. TD: It could prove to be their best night to date. A former Syndicate member whose allegiance is currently in limbo, so to speak, is the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko, who abandoned Shakespeare midweek to the clutches of Tiger Claw and Casey James, but also spurned Brian Lau. Tonight, he gets a chance to take the Cruiserweight Championship from "Badboy" Randy Acorn. That promises to be a tremendous match, and all the more intriguing because of the unanswered questions surrounding Hakiro. SR: If Matsuoko had any sense, Dross, he'd go back to Lau while he has the chance. With Claw and Casey behind him, Matsuoko could take that title from Acorn. Without them... well, who knows? TD: I'm not sure I can agree with your first statement there, Steve, but it is true that in the IIWF, there's safety in numbers. Other tremendous matches scheduled for tonight see the Venusian Death Cell meet Legion in the ring, following their little altercation backstage on Wednesday night. We'll also see Steve "the Fury" Kowalski take on "High Roller" John McClain, and Deathbringer will be in action. SR: But what I'm looking forward to almost as much as seeing Pukespeare get his career ended at the hands of Casey James is the Morons' Chump, the Subway Stinker, take a double beating tonight -- a verbal one from Becky, and a physical one from Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. TD: I wonder which of those worries the Psycho more? Yes, folks, the Subway Psycho will be the guest of the... uh, lovely... Becky LaRue in tonight's "LaRue's Lair", and he will also be facing the German juggernaut, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven in action later on tonight. The action will be coming thick and fast tonight, that's for sure. But before we get up to the ring for the first live match of the evening, let's recap on all the action we've already seen here in the Coliseum before coming on the air: - MR. DAMAGE may have been looking over his shoulder a little too much during his match against MARTY WARNETT, since he seemed preoccupied throughout, no doubt due to the recent activities of Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, who has been plaguing him as of late. Nonetheless, the old adage that less is more certainly seemed to be true, since Kowalski had Damage spooked without even coming down to the ring. Warnett's leg, injured by Lord Byron in midweek, seemed a little tender in the match tonight, but it didn't stop Warnett putting in an impressive showing. In fact, Damage found himself unable to match skills with Warnett tonight, and got himself disqualified by hitting Warnett with his cricket bat, brought to the ring to ward off Kowalski, in full view of the official. - The ZODIAC CONNECTION invited DOMINATION to spin the wheel, but came up short in their match against the dangerous pair. Mr. Psycho and Monster made short work of Scorpio and Taurus, who seemed to have underestimated the power of Domination. The end came when Domination trapped Scorpio in the Bullwhip for the pinfall victory. Heavy Metal were scheduled for action earlier on tonight, and they had some comments for their opponents before the match: [Cut to Heavy Metal flanking their manager, Robo Stone, in the locker room.] RS: Here, in the IIWF, the tag ranks are better than EVER before. The cream of the crop is here, but at the top a' the mountain stands HEAVY METAL. ATLAS: HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS! You WERE champs before, but NOW, the show is run by US! We ARE on our way to the gold, and nothin's gonna stop us! APOLLO: You losers are just a wimpy road block to victory. We're gonna take care a' you punks LIKE NOTHIN'! RS: Prepare to be beaten, Low Plains Drifters. HA! HA! HA! [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Heavy Metal went into their match over-confident, and it showed: - Thanks to the wiles of manager, the "Outlaw" Josey Wales, the HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS came out on top over Robo Stone's team, when Wales appeared to be striking a deal with Stone on the outside. He managed to persuade Stone to call his men off, apparently forming some kind of alliance, and when Stone was finally persuaded, Pale and Easy jumped the Steele twins from behind, and scored a quick victory before high-tailing it back up the aisle. - Robo Stone was clearly very upset with the way his team's match went, because he unleashed the fury of his entire stable, complete with Fisto Flash, on the combatants of the following match, pitting long-time nemesis ONSLAUGHT against "SUPERSTAR" STUD STETSON. The Stone Stable attacked both competitors indiscriminately, but due to a quirk of officiating, since Fisto Flash hit Stetson first, the referee decided to disqualify Onslaught. A controversial decision, but the tally goes in Stetson's win column nonetheless. Pain Inc. were also scheduled back in action earlier on tonight. Let's get their comments, made before their match with G.W.R.: [Cut to the Pebble Beach Golf Course in Pebble Beach, California. Pain Inc. are seen holding Mr.Mic's golf bag as Mr.Mic lines up his shot. He drives the ball 280 yards down the middle of the fairway. He laughs and turns to the camera.] MM: [holding the club] Beautiful, absolutely beautiful, thank you Aaron for the clubs! Pain Inc. was ready to come down to ringside last week in case those moronic Alphabet Girls needed a little Prozac in the form of Morningstar and Hellraiser. [Both members of Pain Inc. glare into the camera] Let's get down to business. Zodiac Boys, you keep going on and on about how you want a piece of us. Blah Blah Blah. I have said this since day one. Let's go! You and us in a steel cage match so the fairies of the IIWF, Domination, doesn't interfere and get their make-up on us! As for you, Domination, you losers don't deserve to shine our boots. Have you seen these two? Monster is as intelligent as a ringpost, and Mr.Psycho? This guy is pathetic. While he is wrestling, McDonalds is losing a valuable employee... ha ha ha. What's up next? G.W.R, it seems that President Spreadbury doesn't like you two much... why else sign a match for you against the two deadliest men on earth, my Pain Inc.? Pray for a quick death boys! I'll even have an ambulance waiting outside the arena for you... kind of like a pick-up for Association of Pathetic Tag-teams! Finally, I hope both Domination and the Zodiac Connection beats the crap out of each other tonight! A little hint for both teams. Zodiacs, watch out for Domination's purses, I hear they never leave home without them. Domination, don't get too close to the Zodiacs... I'm not saying they smell, but if you were to give them a bar of soap, the soap would scream! Ha Ha Ha. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Wow, isn't he just a riot? SR: I've told you before, Dross, you really need a sense of humour. TD: Humph. - It seems PAIN INC. were in need of a sense of humour tonight, as they fell to defeat at the hands of newcomers G.W.R. thanks to Domination, who continue in their mercenary attacks on Mr. Mic's men. Mr. Psycho and Monster appeared in the crowd, taunting Morningstar and Hellraiser with abusive signs -- which are certainly not suitable for showing on family television -- and ultimately, despite Mr. Mic's attempts to keep his team in order, the two behemoths took off from the ring and brawled with Domination in the crowd. It took the security staff and the Jobber Justice Squad some time to defuse the situation, but in the end, the dust cleared, and G.W.R. were awarded the countout win over Pain Inc. - THE SANDMAN bounced back from his recent misfortune with a win over "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON, who was so intent on humiliating his opponent that he was fooled by the Sandman playing possum. Sexton dished out a huge amount of punishment in the match, but the Sandman took it all and kept a little strength in reserve. While Sexton showboated to the crowd before going for his armbar, the Sandman trapped him in an inside cradle for the upset victory. Sexton had to be restrained by the official as the Sandman made a quick getaway. - In the last match before coming on air, ROBSKI decimated the unfortunate SCOTT "THE WHINE" BLOOM, delivering three jacknife powerbombs for the quick pinfall. Robski received one of the most hostile receptions from the crowd that I've heard in some time, Steve. SR: The taste of these morons just gets worse and worse. Robski humiliates one of the IIWF's role models, and what happens? Everybody hates him all of a sudden. TD: You amaze me, Steve. [The timekeeper's bell rings.] TD: Okay, folks, let's get up to the ring for tonight's first match, as the Venusian Death Cell takes on Legion. SR: Hey, Tim... It's your favourite guy. The Venusian Death Cell! TD: Yes, yes, my favourite, ha ha. SR: You could say that you've gone tooth and nail with him... More like just tooth. TD: Ha ha... Let's get to ringside. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Venusian Death Cell vs. Legion -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Sparkplug Lee steps into the glare of the ring lighting.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest... [The crowd murmurs and gives a heel pop as VDC stands out at the head of the aisle with his arms folded.] RA: Ummm, well, ahhh... Well, weighing in at 332 lbs, there's the Venusian Death Cell! [Suddenly, Legion comes running out of the backstage area, expecting VDC to be walking the aisle. Instead, Legion runs into a clothesline from the waiting VDC. VDC spits some green goo into the face of Legion, and the giant falls to the floor, clutching his face. VDC grabs Legion by the hair and drags him to the ring. He throws Legion into the ring. VDC follows, and the bell is rung. Legion can be heard bellowing as he holds his face. The Sandman runs down to the ring to help his stablemate, but VDC clotheslines him off the apron. The Sandman hits the floor hard, and VDC goes back to Legion. He drags Legion up and throws him into the ropes. On the rebound, VDC grabs Legion in a chokeslam and drives him into the mat. VDC covers, and the ref counts... 1 - 2 - 3!! Ding! Ding! Big heel pop!] TD: What? That was quick! SR: Seriously... I think even you lasted longer than Legion did. TD: It's that green liquid. It's got some corrosive qualities, I think. Something has got to be done about that. SR: Care to be the one to do that "something"? [VDC climbs off of Legion and exits the ring, stopping to DDT the Sandman onto the floor. VDC then calmly walks back up the aisle and out of sight.] TD: Well, that was a victory, but I'm not sure if I can say it was a fair one. SR: Fair, Shmair... It was a win... I just wish I had spit like that... I'd be hawking green jelly all over you every night, Tim. TD: [in a monotone] Oh please stop, Steve, you're exciting me. SR: Hey, quit that... [The official helps the still moaning Legion and Sandman back to their feet, and helps them back up the aisle.] TD: Up next, we're... hang on... [holds his earpiece] I'm told that "Showstopper" Simon Lebec is on the phone, and he wants to be put through! SR: Lebec? Wow! Put him through, Dross. TD: Lebec isn't under contract with the IIWF any more, Steve. He's got no business calling us while we're live on air. SR: You've got no business to stop him from speaking his mind. Tell the producers to put him through. TD: Well... okay. Mr. Lebec, can you hear me? [Lebec's voice can be heard over the phone lines.] SL: Yes, Dross, I hear you. TD: Lebec, even though you are no longer a member of this federation, you remain a hot topic of conversation amongst certain members of the IIWF. You've demanded this conversation, so what's on your mind? SL: Dross, I'm officially retired from the IIWF, make no mistake about it! I've enjoyed my free time since leaving. In fact, I've reduced my workload dramatically. As of today, I have plans to only wrestle in two feds, the FeWS and the SVW. I repeat... I have no plans on returning to the IIWF. TD: So what do you want? SL: I'm sitting at home, watching the action via satellite, and what do I find? There's some jerk-off going around trying to get some sort of "Lebec for Prez" thing started! Now, I'll be the first to admit, I'd be a much better President than that low-class, bribe-taking Spreadbury. However, I see this fool trying to make a name for himself using my good name. Pal, you don't know me. If you want to know me, come down to Hollywood and you see what I'm all about! TD: Do you have any comments on the other recent action here in the IIWF? SL: Typical Spreadbury bullshit! Though, I must say, I loved watching Kauffman take that title. Quigley's gonna cry for months! HA! TD: I apologise for Mr. Lebec's bad language, folks. I'm told by my producer that we've got to cut this conversation short. Thanks for your time, Mr. Lebec. SL: I'll actually miss you Dross. My pool hasn't looked as clean since I got a new poolboy. Later, guys. [Click] TD: I can't believe that guy, ringing us live on the air. SR: Hey, he's the "Showstopper", Dross. What do you expect? TD: A more self-centred, self-serving, arrogant guy you couldn't hope to find. The IIWF's much better off without him, and I hope he stays away for a very long time. SR: You know what your problem is, Dross? TD: What? SR: You're a complete moron. TD: Oh, that. Okay, folks, without further ado, let's get back up to the ring for our next match, as Deathbringer attempts to disprove the notion that "You Can't Hurt The Lizard". The dark destroyer brings his Black Death to the table against El Super Gecko. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Deathbringer vs. El Super Gecko =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= [Cut to Sparkplug Lee in the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following encounter is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, making his way to the ring, weighing in at 237lbs, hailing from Kyoto, Japan, here is.... El Suuupeeer Geecko! [Big pop as a rap beat kicks in over the PA. The music consists of a crowd chanting "You Can't Hurt The Lizard!" and soon the crowd in the Coliseum is chanting along with the music. The spotlights pick out the slight figure of El Super Gecko at the top of the aisle. He jogs down to the ring, and steps between the ropes.] TD: It seems that this youngster is really growing in popularity. He's building a reputation second to none other in the IIWF. SR: There's never been a luckier rookie than El Super Thicko, but his luck's just run out. RA: And introducing his opponent... hailing from the dark side, and weighing in at 324lbs, here is... Deeeeeaaaathbringer! [Huge heel pop as all the lights in the arena drop, and when they rise once more. Deathbringer already has Gecko by the throat. He chokeslams Gecko to the canvas, and then drags him to his feet. 'Bringer whips him into the ropes, and hits him with his Scythe flying clothesline. 'Bringer gets to his feet and draws his hand across his throat. The crowd gives a big heel pop as 'Bringer executes the Burial on the hapless Gecko. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Big heel pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: Deathbringer! [The lights in the arena drop again within an instant, and the crowd is hushed as the voice of Deathbringer can be heard over the PA system:] DB: IIWF -- Black Death is upon you. Sleep in fear... [The crowd responds with a huge heel pop as the lights rise once more, and the referee attempts to help Gecko from the ring.] TD: Wow, blink and you missed it. Deathbringer was completely dominant there, Steve. SR: He's sending out a message to the IIWF, Dross, that the Deathbringer of old has returned. When Deathbringer gets a bee in his bonnet, there's no stopping him. He _can_ hurt the lizard. [The crowd gives a cheer of encouragement to Gecko as he is assisted up the aisle by the official.] TD: You've got to wonder how intimidated Dan Kauffman must be to know that both Deathbringer and Cadaver are now on his tail. SR: Kauffman may make a show of his confidence, but we've seen from his reactions when faced with death that as per usual, it's all just hot air. Kauffman's going to end his reign as IIWF Champion with a one-way ticket to the morgue, Dross. TD: What a macabre thought... but worryingly possible. Folks, let's press on with our next match. Steve Kowalski has really been making waves since his arrival in the IIWF a few weeks ago, making enemies very quickly in both the Sandman and Mr. Damage. Tonight, he goes up against fellow newcomer "High Roller" John McClain. Let's get back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Steve "the Fury" Kowalski vs. "High Roller" John McClain -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The Fury's been on a real tear of late. Will we see the same type of brutality here tonight? SR: Duh... Of course. It's not like he can turn it off and on, you know. An attitude like that is deep-rooted and always shows itself. TD: Ladies and gentlemen, that message was brought to you by the expert on bad attitudes. SR: What's that supposed to mean, you moron? TD: Heh... Let's get down to ringside. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match is sceduled for one fall. Introducing first, weighing in at 240lbs and hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, "High Roller" John McClain! ["The Gambler" begins to play, and the High Roller comes out to a good sized pop. He shakes hands with some of the fans at ringside, and gives the thumbs up to a fan holding a sign that reads "I'm putting my money on John McClain!"] TD: The fans are taking a liking to the High Roller! SR: Then they must like his main quality. TD: What, his "put it all on the line" style? SR: No, his "my shoulders are on the mat and the ref just counted three" quality. RA: His opponent, weighing in at 268lbs, and hailing from Newark, New Jersey, here is... Steve "The Fury" Kowalski! [Kowalski appears at the head of the aisle to a large heel pop. He looks at the fans in disgust, and walks calmly to the ring.] TD: While Kowalski is on his way to the ring, let's go to some footage recorded earlier in the week from the Fury. [Cut to a dark alley way. Garbage cans are tipped over and trash is everywhere. Steam fills the air from broken pipes, whistling loudly. The camera pans down the alley way, finally focusing on an old, grimy brick wall. "No Turning Back" is spray-painted on it. Then Steve "The Fury" Kowalski steps into view.] SK: _That_ [Pointing to the brick wall] is the theme of the day, Damage. You have jus' walked in to _my_ world. An', punk, you don't want to stay! Haven't ya realized yet that you're over ya head? When you wake up in a cold sweat, don't ya think the New Jersey Nightmare was there? Take a look in the closet. Go ahead. I'm standin' there with waitin' to _snap_ you like a twig! [The Fury puts a lid on one of the trash cans and has a seat. Taking his time, he takes a a small cigar. After lighting it and enjoying a few puffs, he continues.] SK: [Smiling] Y'know, I really get a kick out of you shootin' ya mouth off. Let's if I can't sum up ya last raving....[looking at a piece of paper] "Kowalski there was a line and you stepped over it. That's why I did what I did at Midweek Mayhem." What you did was start the ball rolling, scumbag!... How about this? "You have wrestled four times in the IIWF and you're already asking for a title shot. That takes some balls buddy." Two things: first, I'm not asking, I'm _demanding_! And second, they're the size of church bells.... Last but not least, "And Kowalski, if you are thinking of involving yourself in this match, you had better think again, because I will be waiting with my good friend Stuart Surridge and Sons." Hey [BLEEP], I don't play cricket! But _if_ I do come down, I'll make sure and I bring an AMERICAN BAT! Ya can't beat a good ol' Louisville Lugger! [Kowalski spits and flicks what's left of his cigar in a sewer drain. He waits until the time is right.] SK: Personally, I'm tired of roughin' up the Down Under Blunder. "Colon Roller", ya have just to be the answer. Slappin' your sorry ass six ways to Sunday seems to be the cure for my boredom. Sorry, kid. But somebody has to be a _victim_. [Fade. Cut back to ringside. Kowalski is still taking his time getting down to the ring.] TD: The situation between Kowalski and Damage shows no signs of ending, Steve. SR: Kowalski won't be satisfied until Damage is down under again... as in _six feet_ under. [Kowalski enters the ring, and immediately goes to work on McClain. He tackles McClain, then clotheslines him to the mat. Kowalski drags McClain to his feet, and lifts him up for a slam. McClain shifts his weight, and causes Kowalski to lose his balance. McClain lands on top of Kowalski, and goes for the cover... 1 - Kickout by Kowalski. Dazed, Kowalski gets to his feet, only to meet a dropkick from McClain. Kowalski hits the mat, and McClain drops an elbow, which lands solidly. McClain locks on a Brazilian armbar, and the ref checks Kowalski for a submission.] SR: What a moron this ref is. Kowalski will never quit. TD: I have to agree with you there. [Kowalski drags himself to the ropes, and McClain is forced to break the hold. Both men get to their feet, and Kowalski shakes off his arm. The two men lock up, and McClain gets the upper hand. He throws Kowalski into the ropes, and executes a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the rebound. Kowalski lays on the mat, and McClain comes off the ropes with a splash. He goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Kowalski. The crowd gives a heel pop as Mr. Damage saunters down to ringside.] TD: This is a potentially volatile situation. SR: You bet. Steve Kowalski and Mr. Damage are two guys that just don't like each other. [McClain sees Damage on the outside, and complains to the ref. Damage holds his arms up in innocence, and just continues to stand there. McClain goes back to work on Kowalski, hitting a snap suplex. McClain drags Kowalski up again and throws him towards the ropes closest to Damage. Damage has his arm resting on the apron, and turns to the fans. Kowalski reverses the whip, and sends McClain into the ropes. Damage hooks the leg of McClain, causing the High Roller to stumble forwards, bent over a bit. Kowalski capitalizes, and gets McClain in a double underhook position, he lifts McClain into the Skullpump, and drives his head into the mat. Kowalski goes for a quick cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Big Heel pop! Kowalski gets back up and laughs at Damage, who begins to make his way back up the aisle.] TD: I think that was an accident. Damage meant to grab Kowalski's leg. SR: It doesn't matter. A guy like Damage is just happy to mess up anyone's chances in any situation. [Kowalski follows Damage up the aisle, and after a moment, both men are gone. McClain staggers to his feet, holding his head. He exits the ring, and the fans yell out the name of Mr. Damage. McClain shakes off the cobwebs. His face contorts in anger, and he bolts up the aisle and out to the locker room area.] TD: As if Mr. Damage needed any more enemies... He's made yet another one out of "High Roller" John McClain. SR: Big deal. Mr. Damage knows exactly how to take care of anything he gets himself into. TD: Well, there comes a time when a man has so many enemies that he's overcome. SR: Not Damage. he's used to the lone wolf lifestyle. TD: We'll see about that. Right now, it's time for this week's LaRue's Lair segment. Becky's guest tonight is none other than the People's Champion himself, the Subway Psycho! Over to you, Becky! [The Coliseum spotlights go wild. They spin for a time, illuminating momentary pockets of the crowd. The spots all come to rest on Becky as she steps onto her set, dressed in leather and an official "Coronation Clash" satin tour jacket. She bears a frown, and her demeanor lacks its usual energy.] BL: As you're all aware, LaRue's Lair continues to attract record television audiences. My photos are rapidly becoming the most downloaded images on America On-Line. But the bloodsuckers in the front office want more... more... more. "Interview someone really big, Becky," they say. I reply, "Otto Verhoeven? Tiger Claw?" "No, bigger!" they shout. "Who's bigger than Verhoeven?" I ask. "The People's Champion: Subway Psycho!" "No way!" I retorted. "Remember that raise you used to have?" they replied. So, here he is, the tunnel terror himself: the Subway Psycho. [The crowd erupts. An old lady in "Psycho Eyeblack" begins the "Psy-cho" chant. Psycho himself enters, poses dramatically, then takes a seat. He beams a condescending grin at Becky.] BL: So, do you ever take baths? SP: Contrary to popular belief, I do believe in personal hygiene. It's hard to stay clean, living where I do, but believe me there are plenty of wrestlers that I have come across who don't believe in deoderant. I try not to "offend" others in this manner. BL: But you do anyways. Now, ever since you dropped the Championship belt, your career has been on the slide. How long before you bottem out? SP: [smirk] You're lucky I have a sense of humor. It's more of a lull than a slide. BL: Admit it, the thought of fighting Cadaver again scares you. What else scares Psycho? SP: Fear is an essential component of courage. If I wasn't afraid of fighting Cadaver I wouldn't be able to get myself ready to take him on. Actually, it's more of a fear of losing than from him personally... that's the way I prepare for all my matches, regardless of the opponent. Cadaver is a special case, though... my past with him haunts me like no other opponent. I look foward to the day when I can put that to rest. BL: And I thought Kauffman had a lot to say on nothing. Speaking of whom, like everyone else, you don't trust Dan Kauffman. Would you ever turn your back on him? SP: My distrust of Dan Kauffman isn't personal. From what I can tell Dan is a stand-up kind of guy and has never shown me otherwise. Unfortunately in this business the quickest way to the top is by turning on those closest to you. I will never travel that path. BL: Who'd have thought that _you'd_ be going for the Nobel Prize for diplomacy. But that's not what I, and everyone wants to know. This is: what's the scoop? Are you and Sasha in love? SP: Sasha and I are extremely close, but not in a romantic way. That's all I care to say on that. BL: Now that we're face-to-face, Sasha really pales before me, doesn't she? SP: Have you looked at yourself lately? BL: [Turns to the floor manager and whispers.] Can I get rid of him now?... Whatta mean "I have more time"... Sheesh. [Back to Psycho] Are you waiting like a vulture to pick at the carcass of the remains of the Syndicate? SP: Vulture may not be the most appropriate term... but I guess you could say so. If the Syndicate were to fall apart the IIWF would be a drastically different place. Someone like Casey James would once again become a mid-level do-nothing and I would be interested in seeing how Tiger Claw handles himself without Brian Lau around. BL: If, by some quirk of fate, the IIWF front office geniuses decreed that you and Tiger Claw had to tag-up as partners, would you? SP: I don't see how or why that would happen. Ever since the IIWF forced me to tag with Man of Steel I've had a new clause in my contract where Sasha and I have final say over things like that. I don't think Tiger Claw would want to tag with me right now any more than I would with him. I'm sure Brian Lau wouldn't be to happy with it either. BL: And you say you have sense of humor. Hm. Some people just don't know what's funny. Oh well. As one of the original IIWF members, what do you think of the quality of the new young bucks who keep showing up every week? SP: So far I haven't been all that impressed. Otto is certainly a big man and a powerful wrestler, but the way he captured the title so quickly after coming in should have been an embarrassment to everyone in the IIWF. Chris Quigley comes in here and brags about how successful he is everywhere else... he's done nothing that I can see that would impress anyone. Stetson won't shut up for a minute to realize that nobody cares what he has to say anyway. BL: A new finisher. Why? SP: The De-Railer will always be my finisher of choice, but it is rather high risk. I've lost matches where I've had my opponent down and prone, only to be knocked of the ropes by outside interference. The Train Wreck eliminates that possibility. BL: What does the Subway Psycho dream about at night? SP: What every wrestler in the IIWF should dream about... to have that big gold belt put around my waist. BL: As if! I know for a fact you have Cadaver nightmares. But... oops... oh goody, you have to go now. Shoo. Shoo. [Psycho stands, shaking his head patronizingly at Becky. The crowd pops again. The old lady stretches to touch him, instead falling over the barrier. He lifts her back into her seat, then kisses her hand in a gentlemanly fashion. The old woman faints.] BL: I'm also supposed to make a public apology for my language last week. The IIWF is family programming. I apologize for calling Dan Kauffman a son of a bit... [Becky's sound is abruptly shut off again. The camera doesn't cut away soon enough to avoid showing Becky raising a middle finger to the floor manager. Cut back to the broadcast table.] TD: Some strong words from the Psycho there, Steve. SR: Yeah, but we'll see just how able he is to back them up when he gets in the ring against Verhoeven later on tonight. TD: Indeed we will. Up next, we're going to see the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, Rising Sun Revolution, in action, as they defend both their titles, and their undefeated streak, against a mystery team of Brian Lau's choosing. This could be a very interesting match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TAG TEAM MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Rising Sun Revolution vs. Mystery Team --------------------------------------- TD: So we finally get to see who Brain Lau has coming in for him. SR: Rumor has it that they're an existing team in the IIWF. I'm predicting that it'll be the High Plains Drifters... The alliance of the stables hasn't been forgotten... TD: That would be a good choice... Of course, _any_ of the teams in the IIWF would be a good choice. SR: Well, I think we're going to be impressed. TD: Not until after Kenny Tanaka goes back up the aisle... Here he comes. [Kenny walks down the aisle smugly, and enters the ring. He snatches the microphone out of Sparkplug Lee's hand, and waves him out of the ring.] KT: Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the teams to you tonight. As you all know, the tag champions of the IIWF will be facing a team hired on by Brian Lau. You may be seeing the next members of the Syndicate tonight! [Heel pop] Well, first, I have to introduce the soon to be ex-champions. You know them... Ryudo, Hiroshi, The Rising Sun Revolution, blah blah... [The crowd pops huge to spite Kenny, and the champions come out into the aisle. They high five the fans on their way to the ring, and they enter. Hiroshi looks over to Kenny, then says something to Ryudo. Ryudo laughs and they both point.] KT: Yes, that's right, get it all out right now, because you won't be laughing when Brian gets those belts from you. I'm going to get them out here right now! You think I won't? I will... Really, I will. Ladies and gentlemen, here are the future tag team champions of the IIWF, Abie and Zed, the Alphabet Boys!!! [The crowd seems rather confused as Abie and Zed wander aimlessly out to the head of the aisle with Brian Lau.] TD: What!? SR: Oh no... I have to say that this is probably the silliest thing that Brian Lau has done. He must have been really desperate to get these guys to sign on... TD: Well, I wouldn't go _that_ far. But the thing is that Brian is going to have a hard time getting Abie and Zed to follow his instructions. SR: This is just too weird. Something's not right. [Abie and Zed enter the ring, and walk over to Ryudo and Hiroshi and shake their hands. As they walk back to their own corner, Brian shakes his head and says something to them. Abie and Zed both turn to the champions and shake their fists, make breaking motions, and draw their thumbs across their throats. Ryudo and Hiroshi both laugh and take the title belts off, handing them to the referee. Abie and Zed begin to argue about who gets to start the match. As the argument heats up, Brian Lau gets proportionately more and more irritated. Lau screams "ENOUGH!" which makes the two Alphabet Boys jump. Brian points at Zed, then into the ring. Abie begins to complain, and Lau rolls his eyes. He says something to Abie, then hops from the apron. The bell rings, and Hiroshi starts off. Abie taps Zed on the shoulder, and Zed turns around. He asks Abie what he wants, and Abie shakes his head. Zed shrugs and holds out his arms. Abie slaps Zed's hand and leaps into the ring. The ref tells Zed to get out of the ring as Hiroshi and Abie lock up.] TD: Lau looks a little more stessed out than usual, doesn't he? SR: Who wouldn't be? Those guys are in their own little world where mice chase cats and hamburgers eat people... TD: Ummm... Huh? SR: Exactly. [Abie and Hiroshi fight for an upper hand in the ring. Abie rams his head into Hiroshi's face, and Hiroshi takes a few steps back. Abie comes off the ropes and shoulder tackles Hiroshi. Hiroshi falls to the mat, and Abie drops a knee across his head. Brian cheers Abie on from the outside, and Abie walks over to ask what is wrong. Brian points furiously back into the ring, and Abie looks over his shoulder. He looks back, and shrugs. Hiroshi gets up and tags in Ryudo, who bounces off the opposite ropes and hits Abie with a running dropkick on the back of the head. The force of the kick sends Abie over the top rope, which gets a laugh out of Zed. Brian waves his arms around, groaning in defeat, and finally puts his head in his arms on the apron. Kenny pats Brian on the back.] TD: I've never seen a guy suck up as much as Kenny Tanaka. SR: You should see yourself in the President's office sometime. [Abie gets back up onto the apron and through the ropes, and tags in Zed by rapping him on the head. Zed raps Abie back, and the two start taking shots at each other with Ryudo looking on amusedly. Abie and Zed slug at each other back and forth until both men tumble out of the ring. They land on their feet outside, and continue punching away at each other. Abie is laughing, and Zed is muttering like Popeye. Brian just shakes his head dejectedly, and Kenny appears to get angry. Kenny Tanaka storms over to where the Alphabet Boys are fighting, and starts slapping them on the head to get their attention. Abie looks at Zed, and Zed looks to Abie, then both men turn to face Kenny. The ref has laid a count on Zed, the legal man, and that count has reached 6. Kenny begins yelling at the tag team, and they reply with a few stiff shots to Kenny's head. Huge pop. Kenny falls to the floor, and the Alphabet Boys giggle as they begin stomping on the fallen worm. The ref calls for the bell as the count reaches 10, and Abie and Zed look around. They actually seem annoyed, and turn on Brian Lau.] SR: What the hell's going on? TD: I don't know. I think they blame Lau for their loss or something. All I can say is that they don't look too happy. He probably promised them the belts, and they took that promise a little too seriously. [Abie and Zed close in on the back-pedalling Brian Lau, and follow him up the aisle. In the ring, Ryudo and Hiroshi get their arms raised, but they seem a little confused by the events. Brian continues to try and reason with the Alphabet Boys, but they are having none of it. Zed grabs Lau by the lapels. At the same moment, Wulf and Kane from the Dark Disciples run out from the backstage area and begin working on Abie and Zed. The two teams engage in a brawl as Don McQueen comes out to Brian Lau's side. Brian thanks Don McQueen, and the two shake hands.] TD: Hold on a second, what was that? SR: That's what we call a handshake, Tim. [Tiger Claw and Casey James run out to aid the Dark Disciples in the beating of the Alphabet Boys, and Rising Sun Revolution take that as their cue to lend a hand. Ryudo and Hiroshi keep Tiger Claw and Casey at bay while the Alphabet Boys continue to get beaten by Kane and Wulf. Lau and McQueen leave the scene, and Kenny Tanaka lays on the floor, whimpering.] TD: We've got to get some control here! SR: I may be jumping the gun here, but I think we're looking at an addition to the Syndicate. TD: You think Brian has hired on these psychopaths? SR: Sure. He's been looking for a tag team for a while now. This is great. Not only will the Syndicate dominate the singles titles, but they'll have a good chance at grabbing the tag titles as well. [The Jobber Justice Squad run out with a sizeable security force with them. With a little work, they manage to get the twelve men separated into pairs. Tiger Claw and Casey motion to the Dark Disciples, and those four men co-operate with the security and go back into the backstage area. After a while, RSR and the Alphabet Boys are also escorted into the back.] TD: That was chaotic. There was hardly even a match there. SR: Well, that's what I've come to expect from those nut bars. TD: Who, Kenny Tanaka and Brian Lau? SR: No, you idiot. Abie and Zed. Speaking of Kenny Tanaka, though... He's still laying on the floor over there. TD: Maybe you should help him up, Steve. SR: No way... I don't know where he's been. TD: Well, I'm not going to touch him... Anyway, as we continue to try and track down "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, we've sent IIWF roving reporter Bulldog Brown to Corner Brook, Quigley's hometown, to attempt to locate Chris. I understand we have a live satellite feed coming through... [Scene cuts to Bulldog Brown, wearing a warm coat and hat, with the scenery of Corner Brook, Newfoundland in the background.] TD: Bulldog! Can you hear me? BB: Yeah, I can hear you fine, Tim! TD: So what's going on? BB: Well I'm here in the city that Chris Quigley calls home, Corner Brook, Newfoundland, which, incidentally, looks a LOT different to whatever it was Simon Lebec was showing us. I've gotten a lot of mixed up answers here, as it seems I've talked to all 30,000 people, and here is what I've gathered. Everyone here has at least heard of Chris Quigley. I have gotten some people claiming they saw him driving his trademark black Viper down this street to my left two days ago, while others have reported seeing nothing at all. The nearest airport is about a half hour away in a small town called Deer Lake, and all they can say is that a privately owned jet did land here within the last week, but that's all the information they can give out. [A brisk wind picks up, and Bulldog starts to chatter his teeth...] TD: Do you have any idea where Chris Quigley could be, if he did in fact return to his hometown? BB: Not a clue, Tim. Quigley was always pretty untouchable behind the scenes of the IIWF. Dan Kauffman was basically the only person he'd talk to at all, and I'm not even sure if Dan knows where he lives. I have managed to buy space in the local newspaper, requesting Quigley get in touch with someone in IIWF Towers, which will be published tomorrow. We can only speculate as to where he is right now, and why he's there. Is he running from Bobby Lincoln, Otto Verhoeven, or even Dan Kauffman? Is he bitter? Are his injuries even more serious than we had originally thought? Hopefully, time will tell. [A stronger wind picks up and the camera starts to go a little fuzzy...] BB: Hmm... hey -- wait! Who's that over there? Walking down past that parking lot? It looks like him! Could that be... ***BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*** [The screen is filled with white noise as the feed is lost. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Uh... it appears we lost our satellite feed from Corner Brook, Newfoundland, apparently at a crucial point. We'll try to restore it as soon as possible, and we'll keep you posted on that situation. SR: Bulldog Brown is so stupid, he probably saw a mailbox on the other side of the street and thought it was Quigley. TD: That's not very nice, Steve. Okay, let's get back up to the ring for tonight's IIWF Cruiserweight Championship match -- "Badboy" Randy Acorn defends against the dangerous free agent, Hakiro Matsuoko. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko ----------------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring and raises his microphone:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship. Introducing first, the challenger: making his way down the aisle, hailing from Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 215lbs, here is the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko! [Mixed pop for Hakiro as the lights drop in the arena. Fireworks explode at the head of the aisle, seemingly triggering other fireworks into life which shoot up into the rafters of the Coliseum, setting off another chain reaction. Brilliantly coloured sparks rain down from the roof of the Coliseum as Hakiro appears at the head of the aisle, dressed in his ceremonial costume. He walks down the aisle, ignoring the fans regardless of their support or derision, and steps into the blazing ring.] TD: Well, Brian Lau isn't anywhere to be seen, Steve. Perhaps Hakiro really is standing on his own once more. SR: I wouldn't count on it, Dross. I can't believe that Matsuoko would be so dumb as to want to face such a devious competitor as Randy Acorn on his own. TD: Acorn has certainly been impressive since winning the Cruiserweight Title a month ago. The element of surprise seems forever in his favour. RA: And introducing his opponent: hailing from Newark, New Jersey, and weighing in at 227lbs, here is the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion: "Badboy" Randy Acorn! [Big heel pop as "If I Ruled The World" kicks in over the PA, and the spotlights swivel to the head of the aisle. However, Acorn fails to appear. In the ring, Hakiro stands watching the head of the aisle, and fails to notice a cable-puller from ringside leap into the squared circle and clobber him from behind. Huge heel pop!] TD: No! Not again! I can't believe this! Acorn's done it again! SR: The oldies are the goodies, Dross. With Acorn around the place, you can't be sure of anything... [The cable-puller discards his boiler suit to reveal Randy Acorn. The champ goes to work on the downed Hakiro, stomping him, and pulling him up to execute a snap piledriver. Acorn showboats to the hostile crowd before dragging Hakiro to his feet once more and whipping him into the ropes. Acorn executes a powerslam on the rebound, and makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Hakiro kicks out! Acorn drags Hakiro to his feet, and is stunned by a shoulder to the lower abdomen. The "Badboy" staggers backwards, and Hakiro springs with a leaping clothesline, which takes Acorn off his feet. The crowd cheers as Hakiro kips up to his feet, and comes off the ropes with a splash, hitting Acorn hard. He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - Acorn kicks out. Both men get to their feet, and a slugfest erupts, but Matsuoko soon gains the upper hand thanks to the added threat of his feet. He doubles Acorn over, and executes a swinging neckbreaker on the champ before leaping from the canvas onto the top rope, and in an amazing display of agility, bounces off the rope into a reverse moonsault, landing hard on Acorn! Huge pop!] TD: What a phenomenal move! Hakiro has the agility of a tight-rope walker! SR: That was a tremendous move, Dross, but it's going to take more than that to put Acorn away. [Acorn reels from the attacks, and rolls out of the ring to try and regain his composure. Hakiro, meanwhile, bounces against the ropes, and performs one complete backflip in the ring, but continues to backflip, sending himself flying over the ropes with tremendous velocity, and he lands on Acorn hard. Huge pop!] TD: Hakiro is like a demon possessed out there tonight! SR: He's certainly focused, Dross -- he's using his body like a lethal weapon! [Hakiro drags Acorn to his feet, and hits him with a hurricarana. Acorn crashes against the steel crowd barriers, and Hakiro leaps to the apron. He enters the ring briefly to stop the referee's count, then steps back out onto the apron. As Acorn drags himself to his feet, he runs along the apron and launches himself with a front somersault splash, but Acorn has the presence of mind to dodge out of the way, and Hakiro lands hard on his back on the ringside pads. The referee's count reaches three as Acorn pulls up one of the pads, exposing the arena's concrete floor. Big heel pop! The referee leaves the ring and attempts to restrain Acorn. However, the champ drags Hakiro to his feet, and manages to execute a piledriver onto the concrete floor! Huge heel pop!] TD: Oh no! Hakiro could be out after that! SR: It was Matsuoko who took the fight to the outside, Dross -- you win some, and you lose some -- and Matsuoko just lost in a big way. [Acorn rolls the stunned Matsuoko into the ring, and climbs to the top rope. He launches himself with an elbow drop on Matsuoko, and connects with force. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Matsuoko gets his foot on the ropes! There is suddenly a heel pop as a spotlight picks out Brian Lau making his way down the aisle to the ring.] TD: Oh-oh, here comes trouble. But is Lau here to help or hinder Matsuoko? BL: After the way Matsuoko spurned the Syndicate midweek, I wouldn't be surprised if Lau brought Casey James and Tiger Claw down here to finish him off for good, but I think the fact that Lau is out here alone means that he's got something very particular in mind for Hakiro. TD: If he interferes in this ma... Wow! Did you see that?! Acorn just attempted an enzuigiri on Hakiro, but Hakiro ducked under the kick, and Acorn crashes to the mat! [Hakiro drops to the mat also, still groggy following the piledriver onto the concrete floor. Lau reaches ringside and stands in one corner while the referee lays the count on both men. Acorn is first to his feet, on the count of five, and he looks suspiciously over at Lau as he drags Matsuoko to his feet. He executes a powerful belly-to-belly suplex on Hakiro and makes the cover. Lau's expression remains neutral as the referee counts - 1 - 2 - Hakiro gets a shoulder up! Acorn drags Hakiro to his feet once more, and whips him into the ropes. Hakiro ducks under a clothesline attempt, and fires back with one of his own, taking Acorn off his feet. Hakiro notices Lau for the first time, and goes over to the corner. Words are exchanged.] TD: What are they saying? Hakiro doesn't look exactly pleased to see Lau out here. SR: Things aren't always what they appear, Dross. TD: No, especially when the Synd... no! Acorn from behind! [Acorn clobbers Hakiro from behind, and rolls him up with an inside cradle. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Hakiro kicks out! Acorn immediately argues with the official about a slow count, and while the official's back is turned, Lau leaps to the apron and begins fiddling with the top turnbuckle. He pulls out a small knife and cuts the ties, allowing the pad to drop into the ring, exposing the bare steel buckle. Huge heel pop!] TD: Lau _is_ out here to attack Matsuoko! This was all a set-up! Lau just wants to see Hakiro injured! [Acorn turns from the official, and drags Matsuoko to his feet. He whips him into the corner opposite the one at which Lau is now innocently standing once more. Acorn follows Hakiro in, but hits the corner as the "Angel of the Sun" darts out of the way. Acorn seems stunned, and Hakiro capitalises, trapping him in the corner with a series of high-impact kicks. Hakiro whips Acorn across the ring, and the "Badboy" hits the exposed steel buckle with tremendous force. Hakiro follows him across the ring, locks him into a German suplex from behind, and bridges to make the cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: What?! Hang on... we've got a new Cruiserweight Champion! Was this all a set-up between Lau and Acorn that went horribly wrong, or have Matsuoko and Lau been in cahoots all along?! SR: I don't know, Dross. This is crazy! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _NEW_ IIWF Cruiserweight Champion: "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko! [Huge mixed pop as the referee raises Hakiro's arm in victory. On the outside, Lau cracks a smile for the first time, and applauds the victor.] TD: Look at Lau -- this was all a set-up! [The referee hands Hakiro the Cruiserweight belt, and the new champion holds it aloft as flames shoot from all four ringposts. Big pop! Hakiro fastens the belt around his waist, and rolls out of the ring. Lau greets him with open arms once more, but again, Hakiro flashes an icy look at Lau, and heads straight past him up the aisle. Huge pop as Lau watches Matsuoko leave in disbelief!] TD: Hey! Maybe this wasn't a set-up at all! Matsuoko continues to spurn the Syndicate! SR: What a moron! Lau's not going to give him an infinite number of chances. Hakiro's only wearing that belt now because of the managerial genius of Brian Lau, and he just storms right past him?! Give me a break! TD: Matsuoko is determined to be his own man, Steve. Hakiro didn't get even a sniff at a title in the entire time he was in the Syndicate, and as soon as he gets out, he captures the Cruiserweight belt... SR: ...only because of Lau, Dross! TD: However he managed it, Steve, he's now the IIWF's second double- crown winner! [The referee helps a winded Randy Acorn to his feet. Acorn looks furious, and he pushes the official away before making his way to the outside, where he begins berating Brian Lau. Lau raises his hands to protest his innocence, but the livid "Badboy" clobbers Lau with a hard right hand, sending him down to the floor. Huge pop! Within moments, Tiger Claw sprints down the aisle to the aid of his manager, and begins brawling with Acorn, who is in no shape to hold his own against the fresh Claw. Lau picks himself up and dusts himself down as security personnel descend on the ringside enclosure, eventually pulling Claw and Acorn apart. Lau and Claw back up the aisle, Lau making threatening gestures at Acorn as he goes. Acorn, meanwhile, is escorted up the aisle by security personnel, and even gets a few cheers.] TD: You can't blame Acorn for being frustrated, Steve. SR: No, you can't. But if he takes it upon himself to go after the Syndicate, he's going to find himself coming up very short indeed. Brian Lau is a great man to have as a friend, but you couldn't find a more dangerous enemy if you tried. TD: Folks, we have a new Cruiserweight Champion! What a match that was -- but questions about Hakiro's allegiance still remain unanswered. I'll try to get to the bottom of this, fans, but for now, we must move on. Let's go to some pre-recorded comments from one of the most loud-mouthed of the IIWF's recent newcomers, "Superstar" Stud Stetson: [Cut to "Superstar" Stud Stetson outside the offices of the IIWF booking committe, arguing with a security guard.] SS: What the HELL do you mean I can't go in there?! I have to speak to the President and his almighty booking committee. I want to know who the hell left me off the live card, again?! I want the whole world to be able and see me whip that Mexican jumping bean's ass!!! [Stetson just noticed the camera.] Onslaught, I am going to make you wish you never entered the IIWF. When I'm through with you the crimson on your body is going to be your blood rather then your costume. And after you are all battered and bruised you are going to beg to be deported back to Mexico!!! I am not going to let the IIWF screw me out of my destiny and this Sauturday I am making yet another example out of a wannabe Superstar. And when I am finished, the rest beware -- because here comes the best. Walnut and the Wrestling Tragedy, watch carefully, because you will be next. And Brody, you want a piece of me? You, like all the rest, will find out when it comes to Superstars, I put everyone to shame. [Fade back to arena] TD: Well, Stetson may have scored a victory over Onslaught here earlier on tonight, but I think that had rather more to do with Fisto Flash than his own abilities. SR: In this game, Dross, you learn to take wins any way they come. TD: This next match could prove to be one of the biggest matches of the year, as two former World Champions go at it -- the Subway Psycho battles Otto Verhoeven. There's a lot of history between these two individuals -- Verhoeven helped to put the Psycho out of the IIWF for a time a couple of months back, and in recent weeks, he and his valet, the devious Nurse Heidi, have been wreaking havoc with the Psycho, even attacking his friend and confidant, Mistress Sasha. Tonight, the Psycho and the Butcher get it on in the ring, one-on-one. SR: You mean we're going to see Verhoeven mop the floor with the Subway Psycho. I can hardly wait. TD: Steve, you've really got to get that vengeful streak taken care of. SR: You just wait until I get my hands on you, you little... TD: [interrupting] Well, there's Sparkplug Lee. Let's see what he has to say. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Subway Psycho -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, hailing from Essen, Germany, and weighing in at 340lbs, Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven! [The theme from "Halloween" begins to play, and the crowd gives a solid heel pop. Verhoeven and Heidi come out to the head of the aisle, both with sour looks on their faces. Some fans taunt them, but Otto and Heidi ignore tham and make their way straight to the ring.] TD: Wonderful. That's all we need. A focused Otto Verhoeven. SR: You said it. When Verhoeven puts his mind to something, he gets it done. RA: His opponent, hailing from the subways of New York, weighing in at 255lbs and accompanied to the ring by Sasha, the Subway Psycho! [The lights drop, and the crowd pops. "Crazy Train" blares over the PA, and a spotlight shines on the head of the aisle. The light reflects off the sequined gown Sasha is wearing, and Psycho stands behind her with his head bowed. The fans go crazy for the pair, but they ignore the crowd and make a beeline for the ring. In fact the Psycho doesn't stop there. He gets right down to punching at Otto Verhoeven. Otto retaliates with some punches of his own.] TD: Woah! This one took no time at all to get started! SR: They hate each other... That's how people who hate each other act. [The two men continue their slugfest, but Otto gets the upper hand with a big forearm over the back of Psycho's neck. Psycho falls to one knee, and Otto kicks him in the head. Psycho falls back, and Verhoeven drags him up. Otto tries to execute a powerbomb, but Psycho reverses it into a headscissors takedown. Otto hits the canvas, and Psycho drops a leg. The crowd pops as Otto sits up, holding his chin. Psycho grabs Otto's head and flips over him, stretching his neck. Otto falls back down on the mat, and the Psycho drags him up and throws him into the ropes. Psycho comes off the ropes as well, and goes for a clothesline. Otto grabs Psycho's arm across his chest, puts his own arm against the Psycho's chest, and lifts the Psycho up in a sidewalk slam. Otto drives Psycho into the mat, and the whole crowd reacts with an "Oooh..."] TD: You could feel the impact of the slam up in the rafters, I'm sure. SR: Perhaps we should ask that goofy Harlequin. Otto's bad side is not a good place to be. He's a very, very dangerous man. [Otto drags Psycho up and lifts him in a two handed chokehold. The ref counts to 4, and Otto lets the Psycho fall. Sasha pounds on the mat, encouraging the Psycho, and Heidi gives her a dirty look. Otto drags Psycho up again and begins laying some hard shots to his head and ribs. The Psycho takes many of them standing, but falls under the assault. Otto poses for the crowd, which brings forth a solid heel pop. Sasha tries to rally for her man, and Heidi appears to be getting annoyed. Heidi makes her way over to where Sasha is standing. In the ring, Otto drags Psycho up again and throws him into the ropes, executing a knee lift on the return. Psycho flips over the knee, grabs the leg, and rolls Otto up for the pin... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Verhoeven. Otto leaps up and begins stomping on the Psycho. Heidi stands in the corner behind Sasha, and eyes her up and down, shaking her head. Otto exectues a powerbomb on the Psycho and goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Psycho. The crowd begins to chant "Psy-cho! Psy-cho" at Sasha's urging, and that pretty well does it for Heidi. She walks up behind Sasha and spins her around. Sasha is ready, though, and slaps Heidi across the face. Heidi staggers back in a mixture of pain and surprise.] TD: Oh my! I think Sasha was expecting that! SR: Expecting what? To beat up on the beautiful fiance of Herr Verhoeven? That was uncalled for. TD: Come on, Steve! [Otto looks outside of the ring and notices the melee going on, and leaves the ring. He stands in between Heidi and Sasha, and begins to threaten the valet of the Subway Psycho. Heidi stands behind Otto, spitting insults at every opportunity. Otto winds up with a backhand, and Sasha flinches. Both Otto and Heidi laugh at her, until the Subway Psycho leaps over the top rope and lands on Verhoeven with a plancha. Psycho lays in a few punches, but Heidi kicks hard with her heel right into the ribs of the Psycho. The ref begins counting... 1 - 2 - 3 - 4... Heidi leaps over the Psycho and lunges at Sasha, and the two start going at it. Otto gets up and drags Psycho up with him, then throws him into the guard rail. He notices the two valets fighting, and moves in. The count continues... 5 - 6 - 7 - 8... Otto manages to separate Heidi from Sasha. Both have slap marks on their faces, but seem to be okay. Otto grabs Heidi and physically moves her away from Sasha. The ref calls for the bell as his count reaches 10. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: It appears that the fighting valets have caused a double countout. SR: And it's all Sasha's fault. TD: Don't start... [Otto drags Heidi away from the ringside area and continues going all the way up the aisle. Sasha, in the meantime, tends to the fallen Subway Psycho. He holds his side around the area where Heidi kicked him, but seems uninjured. Psycho gets up, holds Sasha's hand, and raises her arm in victory. The crowd pops huge as the two make their way up the aisle.] TD: The People's Champion and his valet, Sasha. Two of the greatest superstars ever to grace the rings of the IIWF. SR: Give me a break. Two of the biggest criminals, more like. TD: You really don't like anyone, do you? SR: Sure I do. Heidi's nice... TD: You're going to pay for that one if Otto hears that. SR: Oh... Well, I mean she's really friendly, you know? Otto's a great guy too, you know. TD: I hope your insurance is paid up. Folks, we're just moments away from tonight's huge main event, but before we get back up to the ring, let's go to some comments from the Harlequins. SR: Oh no, not those goofballs again. [Cut to a vacant TV studio. In the seats are cardboard cut-outs of people. In the orchestra pit is a blond girl wearing a women's wrestling singlet with musical notes on it, directing a trained seal playing a synthesizer. Next to her a large man in a straitjacket and a multicolored painted face stands behind a microphone.] MAN: Welcome to the COMEDY SHOW, and now your host, THE TWO TIME ESWP WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S COMEDY! [Canned applause plays as Comedy steps out from behind the curtain with the ESWP World Women's Title strapped around her waist. She fakes a golf swing. The music stops and her monolouge begins.) COMEDY: Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Let's give a hand to Harlequin Melody and the band! [Canned applause as Melody curtsies and the seal claps and barks.] COMEDY: And as always, a big hand for my boyfriend's kid brother HARLEQUIN CHAOS! [Canned applause as Chaos bows.] COMEDY: Well, a lot going on in the wrestling world ladies and gentlemen. Another stupid wrestler has gotten on the bad side of the Harlequins. This time it's a man by the name of Stud Stetson. How he got his name was very interesting. Apparently he's called Stud because he's as dumb as a piece of wood and Stetson because he smells like cheap cologne! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Canned laughter] COMEDY: Another wrestler in the IIWF who's got some answering to do is Lord Buyrate, er... Byron. [Comedy grins, canned laughter] COMEDY: Apparently there is some controversy over his parentage. According to wrestler Marty Warnett, Lord Byron's mother had an affair with a common man. [Canned "Oooooh!"] COMEDY: Yes, and apparently that's not all. Apparently Lord Byron's mother had other affairs that led to Byron having a long lost brother! This brother is real easy to find though. Just look in England for a sheep with blue eyes that says, "BAAA! Are you my Daddy? BAAA!" [Canned laughter] COMEDY: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a guest here tonight. He is the former WFSW World Champion, the leader of the Harlequins... and a real dreamboat! TRAGEDY! [The seal hits a button on the synthesizer causing "Piece of Heaven" by Garbage to play. Tragedy steps from behind the curtain. Almost immediately Comedy jumps on him and kisses him, then leads him to a chair. Comedy sits behind her desk.] COMEDY: Well Trag, welcome to my show! TRAGEDY: [looks around] What the hell did you do? COMEDY: You like it! It's my new talk show! Just look at the crowd I got! TRAGEDY: They're made out of cardboard! COMEDY: Shhhhh! [Whispers] Don't say that! They're really sensitive about that! TRAGEDY: Whatever. COMEDY: So Trag, you big brooding hunk of man, what have you been up to? TRAGEDY: What do you mean? You're with me every single.... [Comedy kicks Tragedy in the leg.] TRAGEDY: Ow! COMEDY: Like I said, what have you been up to? TRAGEDY: Well, I've been rather busy as of late. I will be teaming up with ESWP World Champion Rage and some other wrestlers at ESWP's GAUNTLET pay-per-view. COMEDY: Ooo! Who will you be facing? TRAGEDY: A team led by a rookie called Firestarter. He's undefeated in the ESWP and... YOU KNOW THIS ALREADY! COMEDY: Oh play along, Trag! At least till I can get a REAL guest! TRAGEDY: [rolls his eyes] Very well, I'm also wrestling for the IIWF. I've only had two matches so far... COMEDY: How are you doing there? TRAGEDY: No wins as of yet. Mostly due to interference. But that will change soon enough. COMEDY: Would it be safe to assume that these "interferers" will be getting what's coming to them? TRAGEDY: Absolutely, you see, I didn't just come to the IIWF. I was invited here based on my ability. I've beaten many opponents worldwide, and even crippled a few along the way. The IIWF being one of the elite organizations recognizes that. I wouldn't be here if they didn't. COMEDY: So when are we going to see you take revenge on Byron and Stetson? TRAGEDY: My dear, that's the one thing about tragedy. It strikes you at any time, without warning. I suggest Byron, Stetson and their ladyfriends learn to grow eyes in the backs of their heads, for they are going to need them. COMEDY: Well, that's all the time we have for today. For Tragedy, I'm Comedy, saying: goodnight, everyone! [Melody and the seal begin playing again as everything fades out. Cut back to ringside.] SR: [with distaste] What a joke. TD: Yeah, I thought it was pretty funny. SR: But you got your sense of humour from the bargain bin at K-Mart, just like your hair. TD: [sighs] Folks, from what I hear, a tag match pitting Tragedy and Marty Warnett up against Lord Byron and Stud Stetson could well be signed in time for the next card. For now, though, we'd better get back up to the ring for tonight's main event. Last week, "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare captured the vacant IIWF Intercontinental Championship in a fantastic match against Tiger Claw, which also saw the Syndicate turn on Hakiro Matsuoko. Shakespeare teamed with Matsuoko in midweek against the Syndicate, but was abandoned by the man who won the Cruiserweight Championship earlier on here tonight. He took quite a beating at the hands of the Syndicate, and was only discharged from hospital yesterday evening. Doctors have made it clear that with his internal injuries, Shakespeare shouldn't be wrestling this match -- particularly against an opponent on such a roll as Casey James. Without wishing to sound melodramatic, we could see the end not only of Shakespeare's title reign, but even his career. Let's get back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. Casey "Blackheart" James ---------------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring once more, and raises his microphone.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's main event! [Big pop] The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship. Introducing first, the challenger, accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau and Tiger Claw, representing the Syndicate, hailing from Washington, DC, and weighing in at 320lbs, here is... Casey "Blackheart" James! [Big heel pop as "Foul Taste of Freedom" blares out over the PA system, and the Syndicate appear at the head of the aisle. Casey carries with him a stars and stripes, which he ignites at the head of the aisle, and carries proudly with him past the jeering fans.] TD: What a disgusting display by Casey James. How dare he deface the American flag in such a way! SR: Casey James has denounced the country which he busted a gut for. What did he ever get in return? Nothing. You can't blame him, Dross. TD: Well, it's a fire hazard, quite apart from anything else. SR: Worried about that polyester toupee of yours, huh? TD: I thought we were going to go a whole show without mentioning my hair, but no, it wasn't to be. [Casey, Lau and Claw reach ringside. Casey hands the flaming flag to a ringside attendant, who quickly extinguishes the flames. James climbs into the ring, and begins warming up. A look of distaste crosses his face as "Little Willie" starts up over the PA, and the crowd erupts into cheers.] RA: And introducing his opponent, hailing from Ashland, Oregon, weighing in at 230lbs, here is the IIWF Intercontinental Champion: "Spotlight" Biiiiilly Shaaaaaakespeeeare! [The lights in the arena drop, save for a bank of spotlights, which swivel spectacularly to all focus on the head of the aisle. Shakespeare steps out into the glare of the lights, the Intercontinental Championship belt glinting majestically around his waist. His ribs, however, are strapped, and his expression betrays a twinge of pain as he performs his trademark bow to the appreciative crowd. He makes his way down the aisle, hi-fiving as many fans as possible as he comes. He arrives at the ring, climbs to the top of the ringsteps, and bows to Casey James as the lights rise once more. He enters the ring, and before he can even remove his belt, Casey is upon him. The referee hurriedly signals for the bell as Casey goes to work on Shakespeare's injured ribs.] TD: Some people regard Billy's decision to wrestle here tonight as a mistake. SR: I regard Pukespeare's decision to even wrestle in the first place as a mistake, Dross. TD: It's already clear what Casey's gameplan is going to be in this match -- he's going after Shakespeare's injured ribs. With the kind of punishing techniques James has perfected, I have to wonder whether Shakespeare will be able to hold up under the strain. [Casey immediately has Shakespeare reeling, backed into a corner, and stunned by knee blows and punches to his injured torso. James whips Billy across the ring into the opposite corner, and follows in with an avalanche. Billy staggers backwards into the ring, and Casey nearly takes his head off with a big clothesline. Casey continues to stomp away at Billy's ribs, despite the referee's threats of disqualification. Casey stops for a moment to flex for the crowd, who answer him with a huge chorus of boos. He laughs out loud, and then drags Shakespeare to his feet once more. He whips him into the ropes, and executes a devastating spinebuster on the return. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Shakespeare just kicks out! Casey seems frustrated, and is quick to his feet, stamping more indiscriminately not only on Shakespeare's ribs, but also his head. Billy rolls from the ring, and Casey attempts to follow him out, but is stopped by the referee. While the official argues with Casey, Brian Lau grabs Shakespeare and holds him while Claw executes his punching fury on the champion's ribs. Huge heel pop!] TD: Oh, give me a break! This is ridiculous! SR: Correction -- this is great! [As the official turns, Claw and Lau back away from Shakespeare, who slumps against the ring apron, waving their arms innocently at the official. Big heel pop. Casey steps through the ropes onto the apron, and leaps down to the arena floor, driving a double axe-handle into Shakespeare's back. Billy yells out in pain and goes down. The official lays the count on the two athletes, while Casey grabs Shakespeare in a bear hug, and rams him against the steel ringpost. Billy slumps against the post as Casey backs off and charges in -- but Shakespeare dodges out of the way at the last moment, slumping to the arena floor, and Casey clatters wildly into the post, knocking his head on the steel. He falls to the floor like a sack of potatoes, as the referee continues the count - 4 - 5...] TD: We could see a double countout here, folks. Casey could well have knocked himself out on that ringpost, and Shakespeare doesn't look to be in any condition to continue. SR: Well, it looks like Lau and Claw are going to take matters into their own hands. [Between them, much to the official's protest, Lau and Claw haul both Casey and Shakespeare back into the ring to break the count, and while the official remonstrates with Lau for taking such action, Claw gets in a few shots at Shakespeare's ribs. When the referee turns, he sees Casey crawling slowly over to the injured form of the Intercontinental Champion, and making the cover - 1 - 2 - Shakespeare gets his foot on the ropes! Huge pop! Casey crawls slowly to his feet, pulling himself up by the ropes, and Lau claps and shouts directions from the outside. Casey drags Shakespeare to his feet, and whips him into the ropes, executing his trademark powerslam on the rebound. Shakespeare's back arches in pain as he hits the mat, and James once again makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Shakespeare somehow gets a shoulder out!] TD: The stamina of Billy Shakespeare is amazing, Steve. He's hardly got a shot in throughout the entire match, but he's still in there, and Casey just doesn't seem to be able to pin him! SR: It's just a matter of time, Dross. Casey's going to become the new Intercontinental Champion tonight... wait and see. [Casey drags Shakespeare to his feet once more, and taunts him, slapping him across the face. Billy staggers backwards, but moments later hits back with a slap of his own which shocks Casey, who turns back to his opponent, and launches in wildly with a flailing of arms and legs. Brian Lau leaps to the apron, distracting the referee, while Tiger Claw goes to the timekeeper's table and grabs a steel chair. He throws the chair into the ring, and it lands by Casey, who is quick to pick it up and wield it at Shakespeare, who dodges out of the way. Claw leaps to the apron, and grabs at Shakespeare, holding him for Casey to take a swing at him. Casey does so, but Shakespeare wriggles free, and Casey leathers Tiger Claw with the chair instead, knocking his comrade from the apron and some way up the aisle. Casey looks stunned, and stands, holding the chair, in the ring, while Shakespeare, with his last traces of energy, climbs to the top turnbuckle. Casey turns into the ring once more, still carrying the chair, and is struck by a flying Shakespeare, who executes the Curtain Call on Casey James, the chair doubling the impact and smashing Casey in the face. Shakespeare makes the cover while the crowd go nuts!] TD: Come on, referee, turn! What a move! Shakespeare used that steel chair to increase the impact of the Curtain Call -- the referee finally turns... One! Two! Three! Yes! He got him! SR: No! No way! [Huge pop as the bell rings.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _STILL_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Billy Shakespeare! [The referee attempts to raise Billy's arm, but Shakespeare rolls away from Casey, clutching his ribs.] TD: Oh dear... it seems that added impact had some effect on Shakespeare's injured ribs. SR: Good. I hope the little puke's ribs are busted up real bad. [Lau is beside himself. He drags the recovering Claw to his feet and pulls the groggy Casey from the ring, yelling his displeasure at them. They head up the aisle, Lau practically dragging his men. Meanwhile, in the ring, Shakespeare is unable to stand. The referee checks on his condition, and then signals for medical assistance.] TD: This really doesn't look good, folks. Shakespeare pulled off a tremendous victory here tonight, despite his injuries, but it looks like he's just exacerbated the damage. A paramedic crew is on its way down to the ring. Folks, we're right out of time for tonight. We'll bring you an update on the condition of Billy Shakespeare on Tuesday... I sincerely hope it's good news. The Syndicate may not have taken the Intercontinental Championship, but they will no doubt regard tonight as a victory, since if Shakespeare is injured seriously, he may have to be stripped of the championship. This is all just speculation, folks, and I sincerely hope it doesn't come to that, but we'll have to wait and see. What a night it's been... Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will bring you all the latest updates and comments on "Inside the IIWF" this Tuesday, but until then, this is Tim Dross, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, saying: so long, everybody! [The medical team arrives at ringside to tend to Shakespeare, bringing a stretcher with them. They try to determine the extent of the injuries. Cut to a wide-angle shot of the ring. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+