[Hard rock music accompanies a montage of IIWF action. The final chord lingers as a shot of Hakiro Matsuoko holding aloft the IIWF Cruiserweight title belt flashes onto the screen. Suddenly, the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "INSIDE THE IIWF" - November 19, 1996 =============================================== [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scream and wave. A woman waves a "HAKIRO'S A ZERO -- BILLY'S MY HERO!" poster. A man wearing a High Plains Drifters cap slides a bottle of Kessler's Whiskey from his overcoat and winks at the camera. And an old woman wields an official IIWF Mr. Damage Cricket Bat. Zoom to Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again, everyone, and welcome to another exciting edition of "Inside the IIWF." Beside me, as always, is the lovely Becky LaRue, and we have some big news OUTSIDE the ring for a change. BL: You lead a very boring life, don't you, Larry? LM: That's beside the point, Becky. The IIWF front-office announced this week that there will be a dramatic restructuring of our show... BL: You killed our ratings, didn't you? LM: I most certainly did not! Anyway, Tim Dross will be taking our spot beginning next week with an in-depth look at what's happening in the IIWF. BL: Which means I have my Tuesdays free again! Yes! Yes! LM: Not so fast, Little Miss Sunshine. [Becky gives him a dirty look.] That move means that you and I are moving to Fridays and "Countdown to Saturday Night," leading up to the new and improved "IIWF Saturday Night." BL: So I have Tuesdays free, but you're taking my FRIDAY NIGHTS?! Do you realize how that will cut into my social... LM: Yes, that's the move you fans can look forward to beginning next week along these same stations. As one young fan wrote me this week, and I quote: "There are no other feds out there that offer what the IIWF does, and that's quality e-wrestling with a touch of class." BL: Someone writes YOU fan letters? And just where do YOU fit into that "touch of class" scenario, Larry? LM: [ignoring her] And we have yet another big story to report. Apparently, beloved IIWF President Dan Spreadbury has decided to flex his administrative muscle... BL: I saw him do that on his birthday! LM: [blushing] That NOT what I meant. He made an executive decision and has ordered the Man of Steel to the Betty Ford Clinic for drug and alcohol abuse treatment and counseling. Some of you may have heard the news report over the weekend about Steel chasing a dalmatian through the streets of New York while yelling "Delores!" Well the president decided that this bad publicity must stop and ordered Steel to the treatment center. BL: Well it's about time. You didn't believe he was a drunkie and a junkie, but I knew the truth. LM: Yes, well.... We also have plenty of news from _inside_ the ring to discuss this week, beginning with another bad outing for the Syndicate and Brian Lau. BL: Lau has been such a shrewd businessman for so long. It's almost frightening to see his world falling apart like it is. LM: Indeed, but some would say it's merely payback. Saturday night, Lau helped Hakiro Matsuoko win the IIWF Cruiserweight belt, but was spurned by the "Angel of the Sun" following the match. He attempted to use the Alphabet Boys in a ploy to gain the IIWF Tag Team belts -- a plan that backfired dramatically. And Casey James missed a golden opportunity to win the IIWF Intercontinental belt from an injured Billy Shakespeare. BL: But it appears as though Lau has added the Dark Disciples to his stable. [She then mumbles] I bet they don't have to work on Friday nights. LM: I understand we'll learn more about that partnership later in the show. But right now let's take a complete look at everything that happened last weekend in our: [Letters swirl around the screen, bashing into each other as if they are wrestling each other. Grunts have been added into the audio. Each of the letters slowly falls into place to form the title:] ************************************************************************** ---------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT REWIND ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: What a night it was in the IIWF Coliseum as Tim Dross and Steve Roberts called the action: ********************************** MARTY WARNETT defeated MR. DAMAGE ********************************** LM: Steve Kowalski was clearly on the mind of Mr.Damage, but "The Fury" won the mind games by staying away from ringside. Mr. Damage took out his frustration on Warnett with his cricket bat, drawing the disqualification. These endings are clearly beginning to annoy Warnett, as I learned when I met with him following the card Saturday night: [SCENE: The IIWF interview area, where a distracted-looking Marty Warnett stands next to Larry Morton.] LM: Fans, I'm here with the Party Man... MW: Yeah, Morton, let's get this over with. LM: [flustered] Well, yeah, obviously the bout with Byron ... MW: Yeah, yeah, I was robbed, I was cheated and I was blindsided. What else should I expect from the IIWF, where title shots are decided by whom you badmouth, and whom you sneak attack. I look around, I've wrestled every card since I joined here -- Hardin, Verhoeven have beaten me but never put me out of action. That's _never_, Morton. And now some referee has the gall to say I couldn't break the Aristoclutch. When has he ever wrestled? Answer me, Morton. LM: Well, he was concerned about you... MW: Of course. I forgot. The fact that there was outside interference wasn't a concern? The whole point of this is to be the best I can, and that means wrestling. You know, _inside_ the ring? Byron, believe me, this isn't over, not by a long chalk. LM: And Stetson? MW: Larry, let me speak, Prez Man Dan needs to boost the ratings. I look at the athletes entering the IIWF. I see people badmouthing their way to the top of the rankings, people I can beat in my sleep -- that is, if I pulled the stunts they did. Universal Powers, Kowalski, Stetson, Thunder all seem to believe the IIWF owes them. I've worked my ass off each and every night, my ranking sucks because of all the screwjobs you see each week. Bobby Lincoln, what, third in line to the IC title behind Claw and Sexton? Somebody who has wrestled precisely how many bouts here? Chris Quigley, the multi title holder? Where is he? Found somewhere else to brag? Mark Bad wuss Bagwell? A victim of the Gecko. Mike Stewart? Gee, do I have to repeat myself? LM: How is the knee? MW: Fine, putting ice on it helped, I'm ready to fight anytime. It ain't like I've needed a hip replacement after juice abuse... trust me, Stetson will know how it is on Wednesday. LM: He certainly seems prepared to back up his words. MW: And he'd better be! This Wednesday, people are gonna see the Party Maniac on fire. It's time for me to really make an impact and get some gold around my waist. Stud. Stetson. Stud Stetson. Stud - either an attractive guy, or a wild card at poker. Believe me, you ain't no Kinder on the LaRue scale, and I doubt you could even correctly count the cards whilst dealing. Stetson - a ten gallon hat? There are nine pints of blood in the human body, so I guess we'll find out which is the greater amount. As for getting high, gee, do you really want a court case? I work my ass off for the IIWF anti-drugs projects, I ain't no Man of Steel. Drugs are one of the biggest problems facing kids today, there's no way I'll ever take anything -- I don't let people down. Sleeping with any slut? No, I don't. I like to have fun, I like to party, but, Stud, I'm always faithful to whomever it is I'm involved with. Anything else would be less than civilised. As for Lace ... hmmm. An interesting girl. No morals, no self-respect, and as far as I can see, few clothes either. I feel sorry for you, y'know. You'll learn. [he walks away] [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ****************************************** DOMINATION defeated THE ZODIAC CONNECTION ****************************************** LM: This was a grudge match of sorts, because Domination interfered in one of Zodiacs' earlier matches with Pain Inc. But Taurus and Scorpio failed to gain satisfaction as Mr. Psycho and Monster claimed the pinfall victory. The Mistress met the media following the card: [SCENE: The post-IIWF Saturday Night press conference. The camera flashes are popping wildly, the reporters are all trying to speak above one another. Then Mistress, the manager of Domination enters, and with but a glance across the room, they all fall quiet.] MI: Thank you. Now, for the first question. REP1: WrestleVision 2 here. Mistress, how do your boys feel about their victory tonight. MI: Obviously, very happy. There is no such thing as an easy victory in the IIWF, and the Zodiac Connection are not the exception that proves the rule. They were tough, but we were tougher. You see, at the end of the day, Mr.Psycho & Monster were ready to get their hands dirty and fight like real men. REP1: What do you say about comments suggesting you influenced the match by intimidating Zodiac Connection? MI: How, exactly? REP1: Well, by your mere presence... MI: [She laughs heartedly] Are you saying I have an intimidating presence? REP1: It has been said. MI: Then the truth has been said. People, rightfully, are intimidated by me. Think no less of them because of it. Next. REP2: PIE with a question. MI: PIE? REP2: Pro Illustrated E-Wrestling. Mistress, what is the truth these rumors considering Domination's possible departure from the IIWF? MI: There is no truth, not anymore at least. Recently, Domination have been competing in IIWF primarily, but also ICE and WAR! to keep us sharp. We had to drop one, if only because the travel was exhausting Domination. We were considering dropping IIWF, but we've got a lot of business to finish here, and to be honest, without us here, RSR would have lost the tag-belts by now. REP2: So you`re not leaving IIWF then? MI: We're not leaving the IIWF, no. We've signed a long-term contract which we intend to uphold, and during that time, we will be tag champs for a large percentage of it. REP3: Dick Bradock, The Wrestling Times here. Mistress, what do you have to say about Pain Inc. MI: [she pauses] Things have gotten very personal between Pain Inc and Domination. We've both been in each other`s faces a lot of times. We both have a score to settle with each other, and hopefully the closed-cage match that they requested, and which we have now agreed to and signed, will soon take place. REP3: And what news is there of the survivor series style cage match that sees Domination and RSR facing Pain Inc. and the Dark Disciples? MI: As far as I know, all four teams have signed the contract. We`re now just waiting for it to happen. Now, I have time for one last question. REP1: Mistress, what are Domination's plans? MI: To dominate the IIWF tag-ranks. But in the short term, show Pain Inc. exactly who their masters are, and in the very soon long term, win the tag belts. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ********************************************** THE HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS defeated HEAVY METAL ********************************************** LM: The devious mind of Josey Wales was again at work in this match. Wales appeared to be striking a deal with Robo Stone outside the ring, but it was apparently a ruse. Pale and Easy Rider jumped the Steele twins from behind and scored a quick victory. BL: It must be that Kessler's the Drifters have been drinking. LM: Whatever it is, Robo Stone and Heavy Metal are not happy about it. Take a look: [Robo Stone stands with Heavy Metal in the IIWF interview area.] RS: I don't think you understand, Josey Wales, the magnitude of the havoc that you caused by tricking me into believing that we had an alliance. The High Plains Drifters, in a legal match, MEAN NOTHIN' TO US! WE ARE THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE STABLE IN WRESTLING! And you're gonna find out soon enough. AT: Pale Rider! Easy Rider! We've reached a level of madness that we CANNOT cease until we DESTROY! You WILL go down! And you WILL kneel before... HEAVY METAL! AP: It's time for HEAVY METAL to MOVE UP the rankings a' the IIWF. And the only way to do it is to become what we were when we first came into the IIWF -- LEAN, MEAN, FIGHTIN' MACHINES. RS: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************* "SUPERSTAR" STUD STETSON defeated ONSLAUGHT (DQ) ************************************************* LM: The Stone Stable has been trying to do away with Onslaught, but it appears that they are willing to take out anyone in their path. They attacked both Onslaught and Stetson in this contest. This situation between Fisto Flash and Onslaught _must_ be resolved soon -- if for no other reason than to keep peace in other matches. That could come tomorrow night at Midweek Mayhem when Fisto and Onslaught meet in a no-disqualification, no-countout, and pinfalls-count-anywhere match: [Fisto Flash stands with Robo Stone in the IIWF interview area.] RS: ONSLAUGHT! NOW you've realized that the iron destroyer can GIVE as good as he can GET! He can fight with the best a' them. In fact, HE IS THE BEST OF THEM! FF: NO disqualification! NO countout! Pinfalls Count Anywhere! MY RULES! MY GAME! It's just gonna be a downright Brooklyn brawl where TWO guys come in, and ONE champion comes out. I CAN'T WAIT! I haven't had a GOOD street fight in a LONG TIME. You're a good fighter, but you'll GO DOWN just like the REST A' them. [Fisto Flash poses. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Fisto seems quite confident going into that match, but I wouldn't sell the crimson warrior short. Let's hear from Onslaught: [SCENE: Onslaught sits in his training facility. He says a prayer in front his altar and grabs his mask. ON: Flash, I am glad that you have accepted my challenge. The colors that I wear are only an omen of the things to come. I wear the color of life: blood. It shall run like a river when we meet in our extreme match. I have many surprises in store for you. You will see the past, present and future. I told you weeks ago, you reap what you sow. You will reap nothing but pain and horror for what you have done. I shall fulfill the blood vow that I made weeks ago. It will be your blood that paves the way to my glory. I shall sit on your broken body. Blood will run, like a river. Remember Flash, no one is safe... no one is safe. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************* G.W.R. defeated PAIN INC. (COUNTOUT) ************************************* LM: Domination continue to be a thorn in the side of Mr. Mic and Pain Inc. The two came to ringside and drew the ire of Pain Inc., who took off after Monster and Mr. Damage -- and were counted out because of it. Mr. Mic is apparently growing wearing of Domination: [SCENE: the locker room after Saturday Night. Morningstar is seen in the background meditating while doing some unique form of martial arts. Hellraiser is seen with Mr.Mic, pacing back and forth, occasionally screaming. Mr.Mic is also pacing back and forth but he has a much more solemn look on his face. He turns to the camera.] MR.MIC: I am gonna say this one more time and I hope President Spreadbury is listening. When the hell are Domination going to be fined and suspended for interfering in our matches? They are scared to face us in the ring so the only thing they can do is interfere. Next week, I want Spreadbury to issue a statement on these two vigilante idiots! Domination, you two have signed your death warrant. You wanted Pain Inc.? Well, now you got 'em -- and we ain't gonna stop until you guys are finished! In fact, we have a surprise -- another new finisher developed just for you. Hellraiser, please go get a volunteer. [Hellraiser runs over and rips the flimsy door right off its hinges and runs into the hallway. There is a scream heard and a scuffle as Hellraiser comes back into the room with a newspaper cameraman. Hellraiser tears the camera from around his neck and throws it to the ground. The cameraman stares at Hellraiser with a look of horror as Hellraiser just smiles at him. Hellraiser throws the cameraman to Mr.Mic as Morningstar gets up and stands behind Hellraiser.] MR.MIC: [to the cameraman] Hey moron, this is your 15 seconds of fame. You are about to become the first victim of the new Pain Inc. finisher. [Mr.Mic throws the cameraman, whose face is now a ghostly white, towards Hellraiser. Hellraiser grabs him by the throat and lifts him straight up. Morningstar loads up and hits the cameraman with an incredible superkick as Hellraiser chokeslams the cameraman to the ground. The cameraman just lies there, seemingly unconscious.] MR.MIC: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Domination Drop. This move, combined with the Simply Pain, solidifies us as the most destructive tag team in the IIWF. Morningstar has been working on his superkicks, and now Hellraiser, at the last count, was up to 325lbs of raw destructive power. Domination, you guys better have your plots all ready because Pain Inc. has had it. Finally, one more thing -- High Plains Dungheads, nobody screws with Heavy Metal and gets away with it. Remember that. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Hehe, that wasn't even a real photographer. Our lawyers say we have to declare that to prevent any possible litigation. BL: Jeez. Next thing you know, we'll have to tell kids not to try that move at home. What's this world coming to? LM: We sent roving correspondent Bulldog to get some words from G.W.R. following the match: [SCENE: A locker room backstage at the IIWF Coliseum. The camera focuses on the corridor as both members of G.W.R. come down the hallway. They are having an animated discussion. Only a few words are heard. Bulldog Brown speaks to them as they approach.] BB: Guys, can we get a word? SP: Later, later [they continue having the discussion, and walk off, ignoring Brown, who shrugs his shoulders at the camera.] [Cut to an office. The camera pans around and stops when it comes to the team. All three are sitting down, drinking tea or coffee. Bulldog Brown sits across from the three.] SP: Do you mind if we make this a bit short? We've got to go catch a plane home. BB: Problem? SP: No. [he chuckles slightly] We're doing a publicity tour.. . [He pauses again] and we've been invited on "A Question of Sport"... [He leans forward slightly] What did you want to talk about anyway? BB: Your match on Saturday... [A look of annoyance flashes across Spoiler's face] SP: Ah yes. [He pauses again, drinking some more of his coffee] I can't say we're particularly happy about that. [Another pause] I don't know what Domination were thinking when they decided to get involved in the match, but we're generous people so we'll let them off this once. [Pause] But we will say this [His voice is suddenly very menacing and cold.] Don't do it again. I don't care what issues you have with whoever we're wrestling, once they step in the ring with us, they're ours. And they remain that way until we say we're done. [He pauses again, and when he next speaks his voice returns to normal] Now, as for our erstwhile opponents, Pain Inc. I can't say we're happy about the way we beat you. So, just to prove how good we really are, we are going to offer you the chance to get back in the ring and get beaten properly. [He drains his cup, and then looks at the other two] Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a plane to catch. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow, Spoiler was very abrupt there. I wonder what's up. BL: The cafeteria probably cooked his meat instead of bringing it out raw, as usual. ************************************************ THE SANDMAN defeated "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON ************************************************ LM: What a victory this was for The Sandman, who appeared to be on his way to yet another defeat in his current downward spiral. But he trapped Sexton in an inside cradle to get the upset. BL: Upset? Well he certainly _upset_ Sexton. **************************************** ROBSKI defeated SCOTT "THE WHINE" BLOOM **************************************** LM: Robski had been rather quiet of late, but his actions spoke louder than words against Bloom. Robski quickly put away "The Whine" with three jackknife powerbombs. BL: Yeah, now Bloom _really_ has something to whine about. **************************************** THE VENUSIAN DEATH CELL defeated LEGION **************************************** LM: Legion attempted to jump the VDC before the match, but his plan backfired and the Cell claimed an easy win -- helped largely by that toxic saliva of his, I might add. BL: Yeah, you could say he was _spitting_ mad! Hehe. LM: Well Legion is upset, himself: [SCENE: Legion stands in a ring in his war gear.] LE: Venusian Death Cell, we are both warriors and when we meet again in the ring it will be a war. You will be the first of many to fall to the hands of the Dark Knights. People still call me the Archangel, but the Archangel is gone... with only Legion left. VDC, you shall see the fury of Legion. And Otto Verhoeven, I hold you responsible for the changes in Deathbringer. You set him on the path. Now you must pay for your crimes. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************* DEATHBRINGER defeated EL SUPER GECKO ************************************* LM: Deathbringer, in his first match since his "resurrection," made short work of the Gecko and proved that he can, indeed, hurt the Lizard. BL: Hehe, it's turning into a _grave_ situation. LM: Would you stop that? Deathbringer send us these comments: [SCENE: The graveyard. Deathbringer stands in front of the known crypt.] DB: You cannot hurt the lizard... but obviously you can bury it. You see, it is always the same problem with you mortals... you put up notions that are not worth the time to even think about. You cannot hurt the lizard. On Saturday night, I showed you how wrong this notion is. But there are yet other notions that I would like to take apart. For example, the Subway Psycho's thoughts about my occult mumbo jumbo... Subway Psycho, you still think that I am not for real? You, mortal, are more of a moron than I ever thought. [Pause as Deathbringer heads toward the entrance of the crypt and opens the door leading to the interior. As he is just about to enter the crypt, he turns around.] Black Death has come to rule. Fear the night... Fear the reaper... There is no escape, there is only death... IIWF, welcome to death... [With these words, Deathbringer enters the crypt and closes the door. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] **************************************************************** STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI defeated "HIGH ROLLER" JOHN McCLAIN **************************************************************** LM: Mr. Damage attempted to take out his vengeance on Kowalski, but accidentally caught McClain and helped his foe win the match. BL: You're assuming, of course, that Mr. Damage _cared_ which guy he took out. LM: Well Damage has been feuding with Kowalski. It's plain to see that... BL: You're nearsighted! LM: Whatever. Tim Dross ventured into the bowels of society to get Kowalski's comments for this report and Tim returned in an ill mood. What is a "dreg" anyway? [SCENE: Tim Dross is down the back streets of South Orange, New Jersey. He nervously walks at a rapid pace, desperately trying to avoid the offers of drugs from the local "residents". He can be heard mumbling to himself as he makes his way down the gloomy neighborhood.] TD: Stupid taxi driver. I can't believe he dropped me off three blocks away. I _really_ can't believe he prefers it down here to the IIWF studios. The man is... [A grimy wino in a faded trenchcoat pops out. With a half filled bottle of Nightrain, he slides over to Dross.] WI: D'ya..got any mone...[hick]...money for the sh-show? TD: I don't know what you are talking about. What show? I'm not here for a... WI: PEEP SHOW! HA HA HA! [On cue, the wino open his trenchcoat. Dross is totally shocked to see the dirty man has nothing on but one boot and belt under his coat. Video distortion covers the obscene sight. Dross makes a hasty retreat down a side alley. The shaken Dross finds himself moving towards a light around the corner. He stands to find Steve "The Fury" Kowalski standing in front of a flaming garbage can. The Fury is tearing up posters and tossing them in the fire. He looks up as dross makes his way over.] TD: We could have done this back at the studios. It's so cold and filthy out here. If you want we could go to a diner... I'll buy the coffee. SK: I like it out here, Dross. If ya so friggin' cold come closer to the fire. I got plenty of stuff to burn. TD: Are those posters? There must be hundreds of them. SK: Yup. Posters of Billy Pukespeare. I just wanted to see if he really was a paper champion. He _burns_ like one. [Crumbles another poster and sets it aflame.] You see, Dross, I've been wastin' time with second-raters. [BLEEP], did you see me play 'possum on the pinhead "High Roller" Saturday? Y'know, I let him dance around, do a few moves, then WHAM! SKULLPUMP! TD: Are you trying to tell me the booking committee is holding you back? I hardly think that they would... SK: Duck me. They been duckin' me since day one. _I_ have levelled everything in my path! Count the bodies. The suits in the offices of IIWF are a collection of heartless pukes. They protect _their_ champions by keeping me off to the side. TD: Grated you record is excellent, but you just can't expect the booking committee to roll over and do as you command. SK: [With an evil stare] Why not? TD: I...uh..suddenly forget the reason why. Uh...maybe because Billy Shakespeare doesn't think you are a contender. I sure he has a lot of say regarding... [Kowalski grabs Dross by the shirt and pushes him against the flaming garbage can. His eyes have a wild look.] SK: HE BETTER REGARD ME! I'm sendin' _YOU_ to tell 'em! [Kowalski tosses Dross to the ground and kicks over the garbage can. Dross is up and running, as his rear is on fire. The fire from the can is spreading all over the alley. The Fury is in the middle screaming.] SK: YOU TELL 'EM THE FURY IS COMIN'! YOU TELL 'EM THERE AIN'T NOTHING... NOBODY GONNA SAVE 'EM! I'M COMIN' TO RIP HIS [BLEEP]IN' THROAT OUT! THAT BELT IS MINE! [Fire consumes the alley. Fade] **************************************************************** IIWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: RISING SUN REVOLUTION defeated THE ALPHABET BOYS (COUNTOUT) **************************************************************** LM: The Alphabet Boys were Brian Lau's secret tag team? BL: What was he thinking? LM: The A-Boys did have fun beating up Kenny Tanaka... BL: ...which every member of the IIWF broadcast team has dreamed of doing. LM: ...but were counted out of the ring in the process. Abie and Zed then went after Lau, but he was saved by the Dark Disciples. Lau and Don McQueen seem to have reached an agreement, which is a scary thought in itself. **************************************************************** IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: HAKIRO MATSUOKO defeated "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN **************************************************************** LM: Brian Lau apparently is not ready to part ways with the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko. Lau cut away the padding from a turnbuckle in this match, and that proved to be a turning point as Hakiro whipped Acorn into the exposed steel buckle -- a move that helped him win the Cruiserweight belt. BL: Yeah, but Matsuoko blew off Lau and left the ringside area. Then Acorn popped Lau after the match and he actually got some cheers from the crowd. What is this fed coming to? LM: For Matsuoko, it's coming to fruition: [SCENE: Hakiro Matsuoko is in his Tokyo dojo. He is meditating in front of the pictures of his long dead ancestors. The IIWF Cruiserweight belt shines on the wall.] HM: I told you, my future is set. I am the new Cruiserweight Champion. Randy Acorn, you who live by the sword, die by the sword. You did yourself honor by accepting my challenge. Many have asked me about my relationship with Brian Lau, they even say that I would not hold this belt right now if it was not for his help. That is false. I stand on my own, whatever I do, is by my own choice. Just like whatever Brian does is of his own choice. I ask my ancestors for guidance on many subjects. They have not led me astray yet. They shall not. As with my Intercontinental reign, I shall take on all comers. But, I will not lose it as easily as I did my former accolades. The future is now. My ancestors have taught me that. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ****************************************************** DOUBLE COUNTOUT: OTTO VERHOEVEN vs. THE SUBWAY PSYCHO ****************************************************** LM: For the second week in a row, we had a catfight at ringside which disrupted a match. BL: Some women are lovers and some are fighters. I'm one of the rare few who are both. I think Heidi may fit into the category, but Mistress Sasha? No way! LM: Well Sasha did hold her own against Nurse Heidi -- and it's more than a sore spot with Verhoeven and companion: [SCENE: Otto Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi are in their locker room after Saturday night's match. They appear rather angry. Heidi is cursing in German.] OV: Calm down, meine liebe. The cameraman is here. NH: That slut hit me! She vants a fight, she can have one! OV: [caressing Heidi's face] Do not worry, we'll get them. This is not over yet, Psycho, not by a long shot. But remember, the bell saved you, you pathetic, stinking beggar. You were down when that bell rang... NH: ...and I was about to rip that ugly head off your friend's shoulders. Do you dare to face us in a mixed tag match, Psycho? Take your [BLEEP] to the ring so we can finish you both legally! OV: [surprised] Oh, come on, Heidi, I don't think that Sasha has any wrestling experience. They will never agree to this. I will have to face the Psycho in a regular match on my own, perhaps in a no-countout match or, just to raise the stakes, in a Texas-Death match... if he has the courage to step into the ring with me one more time. NH: And now for something completely different: Dan Kauffman. OV: Dan, I thank you for generously offering me a rematch so soon after your convincing victory last week. NH: I can't believe that he shows your title in every damn federation he wrestles in, like he is the first vorld champion ever, that boasting son of a... OV: But, I had to learn that you are more devious than you seem to be, so I decline. Settle you differences with Cadaver and Deathbringer first, I will take out some pigs who stand in my way to regain what I should never have lost. Not only Psycho, no, there is also the coward Chris Quigley who ran to his hometown just because he was hit in the head one time too often. Should he dare to return he will have to pay for participating in that grand conspiracy. This Wednesday I would like to drag another annoying fool into the slaughterhouse, namely the fat weakling calling himself Legion. NH: Ja, he stated that he vants to take your skull and kill you or something. Vat a jerk. OV: The Dark Knights are on their knees, and by beating Legion into oblivion I will ruin them completely. NH: Finally we have a challenge for Danny... OV: No, we that's enough for now, liebling. There are so many victims in the IIWF, and I have not much time... [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] **************************************************************** IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE defeated CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES **************************************************************** LM: Casey attempted to hit Billy with a steel chair, but nailed Tiger Claw instead. Billy hit his Curtain Call on James for the win, but it may have been a costly one as he did further damage to his already cracked and bruised ribs. BL: And there may be a lot more injuries to IIWF wrestlers with The Dark Disciples joining forces with the Syndicate. Hold onto your hats for this flash, folks: [SCENE: The shot flashes on in Brian Lau's office. Casey is fiddling with the camera.] CJ: Okay, I think I've got it... TC: The red light... Check the light. CJ: Okay... We're on. [Casey moves away from the camera to reveal Brian Lau, Tiger Claw, Don McQueen, Kane, and Wulf sitting in a semi circle..] BL: Hello, folks at home. Unfortunately, our friend, Kenny Tanaka, has left the country to visit family in Japan. He was shaken up after he was attacked by those two lunatics on Saturday. But we showed them, didn't we? I'd like to take this time to introduce the new Vice President of the Syndicate, Don McQueen. Don? DM: Thank you, Brian. Some of the idiotic fans out there might be shocked about me and my boys joining the Syndicate, they might have a few questions on their feeble minds. But really, the answers are obvious. Brian needed a hot tag team to bolster the ranks of the Syndicate, and the Dark Disciples are the most feared duo in the IIWF right now. Me and my boys needed the security and prestige of the most powerful stable in all of wrestling. It all makes sense. Look at what we got here now, the four biggest badasses in the IIWF, guided by my great friend and business partner, Brian Lau, the most experienced and successful manager since the IIWF's inception, and me, Don McQueen, the most diabolical and ingenious mind in wrestling. When we're all working on the same page, we're gonna' be unstoppable baby! BL: Indeed. The Syndicate has terrorized the singles ranks for some time now. We're about to move into the tag scene. Alphabet Boys, Rising Sun Revolution, Domination, Here are a couple of guys with dangerous intent on their minds. CJ: Some people may ask how we can work with a couple of guys as insane as Kane and Wulf. Let me tell you something, there's method to this madness. These guys get into that ring and beat down whoever is stupid enough to stand in their way. How could we say no? KANE: That's right Casey, the Syndicate used to have a few wimps among the ranks, and they were letting you and Tiger Claw down. Hakiro Matsuoko and Cafe Latta did not possess the killer instinct nor the ruthless determination necessary to execute the Syndicate plans for wrestling domination. Well now the ranks have been trimmed and improved, everybody sitting in this room will go to any lengths in order to destroy the opposition. We don't let bothersome little things like the rules get in our way. If that means spilling the blood of Dan Kauffman, or breaking the arms of Billy Shakespeare, we won't have any hesitation in doing so. Indeed, I think I would rather enjoy it [soft and evil chuckle]. TC: Warrior spirit? I see that when I look at Kane and Wulf. Dark though their souls may be, they are true masters of pain. I will enjoy working with them. WULF: You know what gives me more pleasure than anything else in the world? Spreading mayhem, blood and chaos. What's the best way to achieve those things? Join a gang of like-minded thugs who just love to trample the goody-goody fan favorites into the pavement. At first I wasn't sure if the Syndicate boys had the right stuff, but then I saw what Casey James here did to that stinkin' mama's boy Joe Latta and I was totally convinced. I don't laugh too often, I've never needed to, but when I saw Casey's heart punches nearly put that sorry fool out for good I cackled so hard I had to go out and torture a few stray cats. Tiger Claw here, he is my brother in arms, like me he never had a family and had to fight for survival every day of his life, the difference is, his family deserted him, but my family had to lock me up [he lets out a deranged cackle]. I've watched Tiger Claw in the ring, and I can see he enjoys inflicting punishment on his opponents. Those kicks of his are hard enough to crack shin bones, and that's what I like to see, some sad sap screaming in agony with his leg snapped in twain, and his blood staining the mat! BL: We're almost one big happy family again. Of course, there's that one little black sheep that gives me trouble, and that's Hakiro Matsuoko. Don, I don't know what to do with him. After all I've done for him, he still spurns me. It reminds me of that little whelp that turned his back on you, Takezo Musashi. [Kane and Wulf's faces grow sour.] It's so odd that Hakiro does the same to me that Takezo did with you, seeing how they are such bitter adversaries. DM: Y'know Brian, we take these guys off the streets outta the goodness of our hearts, we give them a chance and turn them into stars, then as soon as things stop going their way just a little tiny bit they dump us without any regard for our feelings whatsoever [smirk]. The success and fame goes to their heads and they turn into whining prima donnas. I tell you, it makes me sick and I'd be almost as happy seeing Hakiro Big-joke-o pummelled through the mat right now as I would would be seeing the Enema get trapped in the Dark Disciples' torture chamber. BL: On to happier topics, though, Casey, you might very well have ended the career of Billy Shakespeare. CJ: Didn't I say I'd do something to that effect? If it weren't for a lucky move on Shakespeare's part, I would have taken that title from him. But I don't need the belt to know who came out of that match better off. Billy won't be the last guy I put in the hospital. I've got a big notebook to put the names of my victims in, and I'm not going to stop until it's full Subway Psycho might be my next target. I'm getting a little sick of his comments. Psycho, you may be right about me being a midcarder before I joined the Syndicate. It just shows you how much this organization has done for me and my career. We may not have the best win loss record compared to some of the new guys, but the fact remains that we've won more matches than most of the athletes here have ever been in, and we're the ones that keep everyone talking. Have you taken a good look at Tiger Claw's record? He's fought more matches than anyone in this federation, and he's held the IC belt for the longest anyone could hope to. I'm proud to be where I am. And Psycho, you're not going to like where I put you. We're feared because we're running rampant in the IIWF. BL: I don't think it will be very long until we see some gold come our way. With one of the best tag teams on our side, and probably the two best singles wrestlers the IIWF has ever seen, we'll continue to be the ones to make the news that is on everyone's lips. This spot is over. Have a nice day. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: [to Becky] You're about to learn what separates the great reporters from the merely good ones. I have a mole in the IIWF front office who intercepted a memo yesterday... BL: If you're talking about the memo from Shinja Chow, I've got a copy right here. [Larry's jaw hits the desk.] Let me read it to you: President Spreadbury, Let it be known that I demand a match against Hakiro Matsuoko for the Cruiserweight Championship. After he disrupted my previous match against Randy Acorn, it is only right and just that you arrange a match between us, and take all necessary precautions to prevent further interference. Shinja Chow BL: My mole also intercepted the President's response to the Phoenix: LM: There was a response?! BL: You really need a better mole, Larry! Check this out: Mr. Chow, I shall sign a Championship Match between Chow and Matsuoko for this Saturday night's card. In order to allow fair play, I decree that each combatant will be allowed to have a corner man of his own choosing at ringside for the match. I need to know who you choose as your corner man by Thursday morning, in order that I might get the contracts and permits drawn up. Yours, Daniel Spreadbury. IIWF President. cc: Hakiro Matsuoko Brian Lau IIWF Vice-President Steve Owens BL: Now this raises some interesting questions. Given their past history, it's no surprise that this match will take place. And you can bet that Takezo Musashi will be in the corner of the White Phoenix. LM: But? BL: BUT... Hakiro Matsuoko has been his own man of late. He's what they call in Japan a "lone-o wolf-o." Who will he have in his corner? He's either alienated or spurned everyone who was close to him. LM: Good point. BL: And another curious thing: why did Prez Danny Boy send a copy of that memo to Brian Lau when Lau no longer represents Matsuoko? And why did he send a copy to the vice prez? It's not like HE needs know what's going on around here. I'm telling you, Larry, I smell something rotten... and it isn't just you this time! LM: [indignant] Well just see if your mole can find out something then! Moving on... he's big, he's bad, he's undefeated in the IIWF, and he's setting his sights on Robski. I'm talking about the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder: [The camera opens with black and white video of Brody Thunder walking through what appears to be Boot Hill. It's sunset. He is dressed in jeans and a black shirt with the familiar red thunderbolt emblem on the left front pocket.He pulls out a fresh cigar and unwraps it. The haunting theme from "High Plains Drifter" is playing in the background.] BT: Ah sweet success. Ain't nothin' quite like it,no sir-ree. From the womb to the tomb we all wanna succeed... but only a select few do. [He holds the cigar out and admires it.] In my debut, I beat good wrestler, not a GREAT wrestler, but a good one in the "High Roller" John McClain. He gambled... he lost, plain an' simple. Now he might've been the first but I guarantee you... he won't be the last. This was just the beginnin' -- the beginnin' of a quest that will lead me to the top o' the IIWF. [He strikes a match against a tombstone and lights the cigar.] One man down. An' now I'm settin' my crosshairs on another prettyboy who looks like he could use a good tail-kickin'. I'm aimin' at you, Robski. I hear you're supposed to be some kinda "diamond in the rough"... the next "superstar" of the IIWF. Well... Rob if you can find a gut in that body o' yours, sign on the line an' step into the ring with the Lone Wolf. [He blows a smoke ring into the air.] The name's Brody Thunder son, an' you're about to get a check. Ain't no Ed McMahon gonna be comin' to your house, though. I'm talkin' 'bout a REALITY check,friend. The kind that buys you a reservation for one at the Hotel Contusion an' I'm wonderin' if you're man enough to cash it.Now if you think I'm just blowin' smoke... [He blows another smoke ring into the air, turns back to the camera with an evil grin.] ...well then..get in the ring son, an' I'll be more 'n' happy to prove it. Truth is I'm gonna get me that IIWF world title even if I hafta go through the entire IIWF to do it. Robbie... Robski.. or whatever the hell you wanna call yerself.. I'm waitin' on your answer, son... [He turns to leave as the shot fades. A thunder clap roars.] ...but I won't wait long. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: The brouhaha in the tag team ranks continues unabated. It has reached the point that Domination and Pain Inc. have demanded a "Closed Cage Match" tomorrow night at Midweek Mayhem. The Armed Forces are also hoping to line up their allies for another shot at Rising Sun Revolution in what may be an eight-man match. Let's hear from Aaron and his men: [SCENE: The Omaha Civic Auditorium. NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, are sitting around with Aaron the Caddy.] ATC: Well, men, that was an excellent win over the Alphabet Boys. Abie and Zed, recently, I hope you're not still mad at me for that little golf club incident... ha ha! DC: Shhhh... Aaron, they're so stupid, they probably didn't even know you hit them. Just keep it quiet and pretty soon they'll confuse us with... like... Captain Kangaroo or somebody. He he he. NC: You guys are hilarious. Yeah well, Abie, Zed, I've got a little somethin' to say to you punks. We got here in the IIWF, and we were rolling right along. We get into our first PPV, Midsummer Madness, and we get teamed with you two goons. You were so stupid that you got us immediately eliminated, and as a result, we lose a chance at taking out some of the trash here in the IIWF. We get out of the match, and decide we want a match with you... but you're conveniently unavailable. Funny. Teams always seem to be a little too busy when it comes to the Armed Forces. Rising Sun Revolution refuses to wrestle us fair and square, you guys run, Domination runs. Big surprise. DC: Well, you guys can't run forever. We did get you in the ring, and it was 1-2-3. Over with. Armed Forces win again. Alphabet Boys, you two are just insane morons. You don't know right from left or from wrong. You're both idiots. You always will be. ATC: Yes indeed they will... so let's move on to some business at hand. I have just spoken to our buddy, Mr. Mic, and he wants an eight-man in a cage. His Pain, Inc. and you two against a couple of punks, namely the Rising Sun Revolution. DC: Who's the other team? NC: Oh, who cares about the other team? Doesn't matter. As long as we get a shot at RSR again. ATC: But they haven't been responding. They're scared. Well, I'm here to tell the world right now, and to publicly announce to Pain, Inc., that the Armed Forces DO, in fact, ACCEPT the four-on-four cage match, and I say we get it going as soon as we can, that's if the opposition has the guts for it. DC: I hope they team with Domination. They're punks, too. NC: Yeah, Domination... your day in the ring is coming. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF MIDWEEK MAYHEM PREVIEW ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Tomorrow will be the final edition of "Midweek Mayhem" as it currently exists, and we have some big matches coming your way: DARK MATCHES: * VDC vs. Subway Psycho * Armed Forces vs. The Players' Club * Deathbringer vs. [J] * Sandman & Legion vs. [J] LIVE MATCHES: * FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE: Fisto Flash vs. Onslaught * CLOSED STEEL CAGE MATCH: Domination vs. Pain Inc. * Marty Warnett & Harlequin Tragedy vs. Stud Stetson & Lord Byron * Brody Thunder vs. Robski * Steve "the Fury" Kowalski vs. The White Phoenix * Bobby Lincoln vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT PREVIEW ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: We're still signing matches for "IIWF Saturday Night," but we can tell you about several big matchups that are already on the books: DARK MATCHES: * Marty Warnett vs. [J] * Stud Stetson vs. John McClain LIVE MATCHES: * Domination vs. Arabian Knights * CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Hakiro Matsuoko (w/ cornerman) vs. White Phoenix (w/ cornerman) * Dark Disciples vs. Alphabet Boys LM: And get ready for this, fans! The main event for Saturday night will be: * Dan Kauffman vs. Cadaver BL: Yeah, apparently Kauffman won a backbone along with the World title. He's demanded that Cadaver be instated for one IIWF match -- and that will be this Saturday night. LM: We asked IIWF President Dan Spreadbury earlier tonight about this special matchup. Let's hear what he had to say: [Cut to footage of President Spreadbury in his office.] DS: I've stated several times that I uncategorically oppose Cadaver being given any IIWF contract. The man's history is just too volatile. However, Dan Kauffman petitioned me and used his current position as the IIWF World Champion in requesting this match. I respect Dan and his desire to battle this personal demon, so I am granting this match with two stipulations. First, this will be a contract for ONE MATCH only. I have no intention of permitting Cadaver to become a regular participant in IIWF matches. Also, the IIWF World Championship will NOT be on the line because Cadaver would be unable to defend it, even if he were to defeat Dan Kauffman. Finally, I wish Dan the best of luck in this matchup. My feelings toward Cadaver are well documented, and I believe Dan Kauffman can rid us of this fiend once and for all. [Cut back to the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan Kauffman F 20 14 4 2 75% (WC) WC Billy Shakespeare F 24 17 6 1 73% (IC) IC Hakiro Matsuoko H 23 13 9 1 59% (15) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Steve Kowalski H 6 5 1 0 83% (3=) 1= Venusian Death Cell H 6 5 1 0 83% (3=) 1= Deathbringer F 21 16 3 2 81% (1) 3 The White Phoenix F 10 8 2 0 80% (2) 4 Lord Byron H 5 4 1 0 80% (3=) 5 Otto Verhoeven H 14 10 3 1 75% (6) 6 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 15 11 4 0 73% (9) 7 Chris Quigley F 11 8 3 0 73% (10) 8 Subway Psycho F 20 13 5 2 70% (11) 9 Billy Sexton H 20 13 7 0 65% (12) 10 Onslaught F 5 3 2 0 60% (7) 11 Tiger Claw H 31 17 12 2 58% (14) 12 Robski H 19 11 8 0 58% (16) 13 Casey James H 23 12 9 2 57% (13) 14 The Sandman F 16 9 7 0 56% (18=) 15 Marty Warnett F 20 11 9 0 55% (17) 16 Mr. Damage H 16 8 8 0 50% (18=) 17 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 14 6 6 2 50% (CW) 18 Legion F 13 6 7 0 46% (20) 19 Fisto Flash H 22 9 11 2 45% (22) 20 John McClain F 3 1 2 0 33% (21) 21 Harlequin Tragedy N 2 0 1 1 25% (23) 22 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Stud Stetson H 3 2 0 1 83% (8) 23 Bobby Lincoln H 1 1 0 0 100% (24=) 24= Brody Thunder H 1 1 0 0 100% (24=) 24= ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Vinny Cappicola F 12 5 4 3 54% (-) - Man Of Steel F 25 12 11 2 52% (-) - Don Antonio F 20 10 10 0 50% (-) - The Hangman H 11 4 4 3 50% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 8 8 0 0 100% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ High Plains Drifters H 20 14 5 1 73% (2) 1 The Arabian Knights H 10 7 3 0 70% (3=) 2 Heavy Metal H 9 6 3 0 67% (1) 3 The Armed Forces H 18 11 6 1 64% (6) 4 Pain Inc. H 11 7 4 0 64% (3=) 5 The Alphabet Boys F 10 5 3 2 60% (5) 6 The Zodiac Connection F 12 5 7 0 42% (7) 7 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GWR N 2 2 0 0 100% (11) 8 Domination F 3 2 0 1 83% (8) 9 The Dark Disciples H 2 1 1 0 50% (9=) 10= The Players' Club F 2 1 1 0 50% (9=) 10= ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Atomic Destroyers H 12 7 4 1 63% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ----- COMING FRIDAY: "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" WITH TIM DROSS ------ ************************************************************************** LM: Be sure to catch up on all the IIWF news and highlights on "Countdown to Saturday Night" with Tim Dross, coming your way Friday night along most of these same stations. Becky and I will be back with you tomorrow night on "Midweek Mayhem," so until then, this is Larry Morton for Becky LaRue saying so... BL: Nighty... LM: ...long... BL: ...night... LM & BL: [in unison] ...everyone! [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle as the screaming fans try once again to get on camera. The old woman with the cricket bat takes a long pull from the man's bottle of Kessler's Whiskey, then swings the bat and nails a teenage boy sitting in front of her. As the boy keels over into the aisle, the credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+