##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH TIM DROSS December 3, 1996 =============================================== [Fade in on veteran IIWF commentator Tim Dross seated at a desk, shuffling through some papers. The lights rise and the shot zooms in on Tim.] Hello again, fans, I'm your host Tim Dross and welcome to Paris -- The City of Lights -- the second stop on the current IIWF World Tour. We'll be bringing you an exciting "Wednesday War Room" tomorrow night from The Michelin Center, but we have plenty to discuss during tonight's report. What a night it was Saturday in Mexico City's Sombrero Dome! Dan Kauffman made a successful defense of his IIWF World Heavyweight Championship. Marty Warnett was again attacked. Billy Shakespeare proved he is in no condition to wrestle right now. And the High Plains Drifters won a shot at IIWF Tag Team champs Rising Sun Revolution. More on all of those stories coming up. And we hope to have a special live "Up Close and Personal" interview with the mysterious Onslaught, who still has not arrived at the studio. Perhaps it's time to make contingency plans. Anyway, let's open tonight's show with a complete look at the results from "IIWF Saturday Night:" * LORD BYRON def. HARLEQUIN TRAGEDY * BILLY SEXTON def. BILLY SHAKESPEARE * THE WHITE PHOENIX def. TIGER CLAW * MARTY WARNETT def. BOBBY LINCOLN * BRODY THUNDER def. ROBSKI * MR. DAMAGE def. SUBWAY PSYCHO * DAN KAUFFMAN def. STEVE KOWALSKI * G.W.R. def. THE ZODIAC CONNECTION * HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS def. THE ARMED FORCES ************************************************************************** ---------------- TIM DROSS INSIDE THE SQUARED CIRCLE -------------------- ************************************************************************** HEY DEATHBRINGER, LIGHTEN UP! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If ever the recent change in Deathbringer was evident, it was surely Saturday night at the Sombrero Dome. But I remain intrigued by comments made by the former IIWF World Champion last week. Let's go back to those comments now: [Cut to file footage of Deathbringer in his crypt:] DB: Once again, Fate has decided upon our Destiny. But it is different this time. There is no compassion left within me, nor is justice. You made me what I am today and you will pay the ultimate price. Kauffman, watch your back, because I stand behind you. In the weeks to come, I will walk at your side and I will take care of you. Then, as our time comes, I will collect the toll. And you will _finally_ meet your maker. Kauffman, trust me, follow me, obey me... Kauffman, fear the Reaper... Now fans, I make this out to mean that Deathbringer is, indeed, watching over Kauffman, but he is a spectre only trying to ensure that Kauffman is healthy when they next meet... possibly at "Snow Brawl." Was he really saving Kauffman from certain death at the hands of Cadaver? Perhaps, but only so that Deathbringer himself would have a shot at recapturing the IIWF World Championship. Remember, Deathbringer's image flashed onto the video wall with a warning Saturday night, but he did not directly interfere in Dan Kauffman's matchup with Steve Kowalski. Now trying to figure out Deathbringer is like filling out tax forms, but I believe Deathbringer is adhering to a strict personal agenda -- if he can't have Dan Kauffman, then no one can. THE ROAR OF THE FURY ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As I mentioned at the top of the report, Dan Kauffman successfully defended his title Saturday night against Steve Kowalski. But it was not an easy defense by any stretch of the imagination. Kowalski intentionally knocked Kauffman into the referee following a hard-fought match, earning the disqualification, but he took out his anger on both Kauffman and Onslaught after the bell. Steve Kowalski has been in the IIWF a short time and many questioned his getting a title shot so quickly. I may not always agree with Kowalski's tactics and I believe his temper gets the best of him, but no one can deny his talent. I WILL be interested to see how the arrival of one Mad Dog Watkins -- who had some legendary battles with Kowalski's father Bruno the Sandman -- affects "The Fury." Time will tell. ET TU, BILLY? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A collective groan was heard throughout the IIWF last week when IIWF President Dan Spreadbury announced that Billy Shakespeare would be forced to continue to honor his booked matches, despite the serious rib injuries Shakespeare suffered recently at the hands of The Syndicate. My sources tell me that, based on allegations made by "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, President Spreadbury had no choice but to back the IIWF Executive Committee's decision. So Shakespeare will continue to make appearances, despite his injuries -- although the IIWF Intercontinental Title will NOT be on the line in those matches. Now Saturday night, Sexton exploited Shakespeare's injuries and made quick work of the champion. Quite honestly, I found that display rather difficult to watch. While Sexton continues to claim that Shakespeare is faking his injuries and paying off officials, I know Shakespeare and I know that his competitive spirit would not permit him to "lay down" against the likes of Sexton. Still, Sexton's evidence is overwhelming, and the longer the IIWF's top brass remain silent on this matter, the worse it looks. The only thing for sure is that Billy Shakespeare must step back into the ring Wednesday night. At this rate, he'll be in no condition to wrestle at "Snow Brawl." A CONTRACT RUNS OUT.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fans, I learned just last night that a superstar in the IIWF will not be renewing his contract when it expires this week. I understand IIWF officials attempted to talk this star into renewing his contract, but to no avail. Legally, I can't tell you the name of this wrestler, but he's English... and a sensation. This man has been with the IIWF since its beginning and he will be sorely missed. I'm sure Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will have all the details for you on "Countdown to Saturday Night" coming your way this Friday. SASHA... ARE YOU PSYCHO? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I reported here just last week that any potential match between Mistress Sasha and Nurse Heidi would be simply a pipe dream. Well sources tell me now that Sasha and the Subway Psycho were so outraged by Heidi and Otto Verhoeven attacking Sasha in the locker room area Saturday night, that a "Valet Match" could indeed soon be a reality. The thinking seems to be that this match would be the only way to end the battles which have been erupting between those four. The Psycho asked Sasha not to accompany him to the ring Saturday night -- for her safety -- but she was attacked backstage. Sasha is no stranger to the ways of the ring. Remember, her father operated a wrestling school in Germany -- and Otto Verhoeven was once a star pupil there. But neither is Sasha a wrestler. If the match becomes a reality, I have to question her wisdom in getting in the ring with someone like Nurse Heidi. EIGHT-MAN? NO, MAN! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Despite the protestations of many on the IIWF Booking Committee, the big eight-man match between Rising Sun Revolution, Domination, The Arabian Knights, and Heavy Metal was signed for last Saturday's card in Mexico City. But, as you well know, that match never happened. Apparently, the Knights were denied entry into Mexico at the border -- a move that threw speculation back at the IIWF for wanting to cancel this match. But the official reason given by customs officials was "detainment for inspection of suspicious material." I later learned that Prince Abdul travels with a can of "Camel Talc," which alleviates the pain of rope burns. Apparently, customs officials were unfamiliar with this product. Let's hope the customs officials in Paris know about "Camel Talc." MOMMAS, LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE COWBOYS.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The much-anticipated matchup between The High Plains Drifters and The Armed Forces was a highlight of Saturday's card, and Pale and Easy Rider claimed their first victory against The Forces. But it was not without controversy, as Josey Wales tossed what appeared to be a pair of brass knuckles into the ring to help Pale and Easy get the win. The victory gives the Drifters a shot this Saturday at regaining the IIWF Tag Team belts from Rising Sun Revolution. It's no mystery that Wales has been keeping his men focused on the ring, but will that be enough to overcome the skills and great teamwork of Hiroshi and Ryudo? Ironically, the Drifters may benefit from the eight-man tag match being postponed. Rising Sun Revolution was originally scheduled for an off night, but must now wrestle just three days before the title match. But the logic goes: Don't bet against the champions. TO AARON IS HUMAN.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A showdown between G.W.R. and The Armed Forces must come soon. You may recall that Aaron the Caddy helped NavCom and DefCon defeat G.W.R. last week -- the only loss G.W.R. has yet to suffer in the IIWF. Spoiler and Loco seemed annoyed by Aaron's appearance at their match Saturday, and then they attempted to get to him during the Forces' match with the Drifters. I spoke with Aaron following the show Saturday night and he told me that he's upset about G.W.R. He considers them to be just another foreign team -- and he even questioned General Kane's military credentials. It may add even more fuel to the tag team fire right now, but these two teams are destined to meet. IS THAT A STRETCHER, OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Marty Warnett has quickly become the favorite punching bag of the heels in the IIWF. Bobby Lincoln, Stud Stetson, and Lord Byron have all taken their shots at Marty during recent weeks, but Warnett has risen to the challenge and has ripped off four straight victories. Marty had just defeated Lincoln Saturday night when Stetson attacked him from behind. That brutal beating forced Marty to be carried out on a stretcher, but Lord Byron took advantage of the situation to challenge Warnett to a "Pure Science" match Saturday night in London. I spoke with Marty at his home last night, and he assures me that he will be ready to take on Lord Byron Saturday night. But he did have some concerns about the constant interference in his matches. I understand he has called the IIWF offices and made a special request for this match, but no one in the front office will tell me what that request might be. I suppose we'll find out on Saturday. ************************************************************************** ------------------- UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: ONSLAUGHT ------------------- ************************************************************************** Well fans, this is live television for you! We were expecting Onslaught at the studio for an "Up Close and Personal" interview because everyone wants to know about his relationship with Tony Starks -- and why he accompanied Dan Kauffman Saturday night. It looks like that will have to wait for another day. Our producer [he looks offstage and scowls] has found someone we think you'll want to learn more about. Please welcome... Becky LaRue. [Becky strolls onto the set grinning like a Cheshire Cat and takes a seat beside Dross.] BL: You've been through all the boring people and finally had to learn about a true star, eh Timmy? TD: Actually, Onslaught didn't show up and... oh whatever. Tell us a little bit about your past. BL: I was born in New Orleans to Bucky and Bitsy LaRue and.... TD: I meant your WRESTLING past. Did you say _Bucky_ LaRue? BL: Yep. Dear old dad. Anyway, I grew up with seven brothers and I learned to fight pretty well. When I dropped out of high school, I hooked on with a carnival as "The Amazon Queen." I used to wrestle these fat old guys who were trying to win a Kewpie Doll for their ugly wives. I was unbeaten. TD: You were in a carnival? BL: Well, not for long. I kicked some guy's butt one night and there happened to be a scout for one of the professional wrestling feds in the crowd. He was impressed enough to sign me on the spot, so I left behind the dog-faced boy and the six-legged pig and stepped into the ring for the first time. TD: I imagine you had to pay your dues? BL: Hehehehe... snort. Get serious, Timmy. Those girlies didn't know squat about wrestling. I won the championship six months after entering the federation. Yessir, "Bayou Becky" was on top of the world. TD: And the rest, I suppose, is history. BL: Well, there were all of those sex scandals, but I don't suppose you want to hear about them. TD: Uhhhh, maybe some other time. So why did you decide to get into announcing? BL: Eventually, none of the women wrestlers wanted to step into the ring with me. Some brilliant fed-head decided I should start wrestling MEN. I told him there are still a few things I don't do in public, so I quit on the spot. As luck would have it, the IIWF called me a week later about this commentating gig and it sounded pretty easy. TD: And has it been as easy as you expected? BL: Yeah. Pretty much. TD: What?! BL: Well, there have been a few times when I've had to restrain myself from REALLY hurting Larry Morton. The guy is a complete dolt. He knows nothing about wrestling but tries to sound like he really knows the moves. And he's scared of clowns. Gimme a break! TD: I'm sure Larry is well-intentioned. BL: Yeah, and he's related to a network executive. TD: So what do you think about the talent in the IIWF... bearing in mind that the organization pays your salary. BL: Oh yeah, it's real good. I liked it a little better when Brad Kinder was in the IIWF, but I'm scouting the new talent and I see a few potential... what's that term you always use? TD: Superstars? BL: Yeah, that's it! Hehehehe... snort. TD: Rumors persist that you considered becoming Brad Kinder's valet at one point. BL: Hey, a REAL woman doesn't parade around holding robes. These tramps like DeWinter and Sasha have no place in wrestling. At least Lace and Heidi get in a few shots every now and then. TD: And what do you consider to be the highlight of your time in the IIWF so far? BL: I'd have to say it's a tie between being named the "Best Announcer" during the Golden Grapple Awards and getting my own segment, "LaRue's Lair," during the Saturday show. It just goes to show all the kids out there that you don't have to finish high school to be a success in.... TD: I think we're out of time Becky! It's been great having you out here tonight. BL: No problem, Timmy. See ya tomorrow night for "Wednesday War Room." And don't forget your hair. What did Stevie Roberts call it the other night... a dead rat? Hehehehehe... snort! [Becky strolls off stage laughing.] ************************************************************************** ---------------------- WEDNESDAY NIGHT PREVIEW ------------------------- ************************************************************************** We have more great matches coming your way tomorrow night from The Michelin Center here in Paris, as will be reported on the "Wednesday War Room." Here is the lineup: * Bobby Lincoln vs. El Super Gecko * Harlequin Chaos vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton * Mad Dog Watkins vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur * The Alphabet Boys vs. The Zodiac Connection * G.W.R. vs. The Dark Disciples * Hakiro Matsuoko vs. John McClain * Onslaught vs. Casey James * Otto Verhoeven vs. Harlequin Tragedy * Takezo Musashi vs. Robski * EIGHT-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH RSR & Domination vs. Arabian Knights & Heavy Metal * Non-Title Match: Billy Shakespeare vs. Brody Thunder ************************************************************************** ---------------------- DROSS HANDICAPS THE FIELD ------------------------ ************************************************************************** *************************** WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION *************************** DAN KAUFFMAN RECORD: 16-4-2 WIN %: .800 STREAK: Won five Overcame Steve Kowalski, but Deathbringer -- and possibly Casey James -- loom in the future. ************************** INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION ************************** BILLY SHAKESPEARE RECORD: 17-7-1 WIN %: .708 STREAK: Lost one Quick loss to Sexton proves he isn't healthy, but his opponents don't seem to care. *********************** CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION *********************** HAKIRO MATSUOKO RECORD: 13-10-1 WIN %: .565 STREAK: Lost one Cheap shot on The White Phoenix again points to a reconciliation with The Syndicate, but he still isn't speaking to Brian Lau. RANKINGS BY WINNING PERCENTAGE: 1. BRODY THUNDER RECORD: 4-0-0 WIN %: 1.000 STREAK: Won four Won with the help of his leather strap on Saturday. Emerging as one of the most vicious wrestlers in the IIWF. 2. DEATHBRINGER RECORD: 18-3-2 WIN %: .857 STREAK: Won three Dan Kauffman -- and the IIWF World Championship belt -- are clearly in his sights. 3. OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN RECORD: 11-3-1 WIN %: .786 STREAK: Won two He now has science behind him. Will it be enough to overcome the Subway Psycho. 4. THE WHITE PHOENIX RECORD: 10-3-0 WIN %: .769 STREAK: Won one He met Hakiro Matsuoko's IIWF Cruiserweight belt face first. Now it may be time for Hakiro to meet the Phoenix face first. 5. "THE ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI RECORD: 13-4-0 WIN %: .765 STREAK: Won five May be rusty after a week off, but he remains one of the hottest wrestlers in the IIWF right now. 6. STUD STETSON RECORD: 3-1-1 WIN %: .750 STREAK: Won one Claims to have no allies, but he and Lincoln seem to have the same goal -- to injure Marty Warnett. LORD BYRON RECORD: 6-2-0 WIN %: .750 STREAK: Won two Ready for Marty Warnett on Saturday, but he was unhappy with Harlequin Chaos interfering last weekend. 8. ONSLAUGHT RECORD: 5-2-0 WIN %: .714 STREAK: Won two Mr. Kobiashi and the Syndicate have plans for him. Does he have plans for them? 9. SUBWAY PSYCHO RECORD: 14-6-2 WIN %: .700 STREAK: Lost one It's difficult for him to concentrate on opponents when Sasha is in the building. Countout on Saturday means he may have to win the Lethal Lottery at "Snow Brawl" to earn a title shot soon. 10. STEVE KOWALSKI RECORD: 6-3-0 WIN %: .667 STREAK: Lost two Strong showing against Dan Kauffman on Saturday. But what is his relationship with Mad Dog Watkins? "PAINBRINGER" BILLY SEXTON RECORD: 14-7-0 WIN %: .667 STREAK: Won one As his conspiracy theory grows, so does his winning percentage. Saturday's victory over Shakespeare may have been his biggest in the IIWF. 12. VENUSIAN DEATH CELL RECORD: 5-3-0 WIN %: .625 STREAK: Lost two Struggled in November. Seems focused for a big December. 13. THE SANDMAN RECORD: 11-7-0 WIN %: .611 STREAK: Won two Still coping with the loss of Legion. 14. MARTY WARNETT RECORD: 14-9-0 WIN %: .609 STREAK: Won four May have a bullseye on his back. Stud Stetson, Bobby Lincoln and Todd Franklin, and Lord Byron have all injured him, but he keeps on winning. 15. CASEY JAMES RECORD: 13-9-2 WIN %: .591 STREAK: Won one Paid to take care of Tony Starks and Onslaught, he also has Dan Kauffman's IIWF World Title in his sights. 16. TIGER CLAW RECORD: 18-13-2 WIN %: .581 STREAK: Lost one Is he friends with Hakiro Matsuoko or not? The answer must come soon. 17. BOBBY LINCOLN RECORD: 2-2-0 WIN %: .500 STREAK: Lost one Even his sneak attack on Marty Warnett could not prevent a loss to the Party Animal. HARLEQUIN TRAGEDY RECORD: 2-2-1 WIN %: .500 STREAK: Lost one Still focused on Byron, but may have to find a way to keep Harlequin Chaos in check. ROBSKI RECORD: 11-11-0 WIN %: .500 STREAK: Lost two Outside demands have led to a slide during past two months. MR. DAMAGE RECORD: 9-9-0 WIN %: .500 STREAK: Won one Eager to work his way up to title contention. 21. FISTO FLASH RECORD: 10-12-2 WIN %: .455 STREAK: Won one Always dangerous. Is he working with Mr. Kobiashi and Brian Lau? 22. "BADBOY" RANDY ACORN RECORD: 6-8-2 WIN %: .429 STREAK: Lost three Also struggling. Rumors abound that he may be on his way out of the IIWF. 23. "HIGH ROLLER" JOHN McCLAIN RECORD: 1-4-0 WIN %: .200 STREAK: Lost three You gotta know when to fold 'em. 24. HARLEQUIN CHAOS RECORD: 0-0-0 WIN %: .000 STREAK: Seems more like a lost Alphabet Boy than Tragedy's brother. MAD DOG WATKINS RECORD: 0-0-0 WIN %: .000 STREAK: Despite his age, he brings strong credentials to the IIWF. Ready for his debut on Wednesday. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ CURRENTLY UNRANKED: CHRIS QUIGLEY RECORD: 8-3-0 WIN %: .727 STREAK: Won one Time is running out on his IIWF career. LEGION RECORD: 7-8-0 WIN %: .467 STREAK: Lost one Has not been seen since he was attacked by his former allies and carried out of the Coliseum by monks. ************************ WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS ************************ RISING SUN REVOLUTION RECORD: 8-0-0 WIN %: 1.000 STREAK: Won eight Ready to defend their belts against the former champs, Pale and Easy Rider. Their combination of size and speed will make them tough to beat. 1. HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS RECORD: 15-5-1 WIN %: .750 STREAK: Won three Victory over The Armed Forces gives them a title shot against Rising Sun Revolution Saturday night in London. Are Pale and Easy capable of recapturing the gold? 2. DOMINATION RECORD: 3-1-1 WIN %: .750 STREAK: Lost one They were psyched for the postponed eight-man tag match. Will the delay hurt their enthusiasm? 3. G.W.R. RECORD: 3-1-0 WIN %: .750 STREAK: Won one A showdown with The Armed Forces is on their Christmas list. 4. THE ARABIAN KNIGHTS RECORD: 8-3-0 WIN %: .727 STREAK: Won two Must focus on the eight-man tag match tomorrow night if they hope to get along with Heavy Metal. 5. HEAVY METAL RECORD: 7-3-0 WIN %: .700 STREAK: Won one Ability to work with The Arabian Knights could be a key to tomorrow night's eight-man tag match. 6. THE DARK DISCIPLES RECORD: 2-1-0 WIN %: .667 STREAK: Won one Still focused on eliminating Takezo Musashi from the IIWF. As dangerous as any team in the fed. 7. THE ARMED FORCES RECORD: 13-7-1 WIN %: .650 STREAK: Lost one Missed their shot at a title match by losing to The High Plains Drifters. Aaron will certainly want a shot at G.W.R. for their interference. 8. THE ALPHABET BOYS RECORD: 6-4-2 WIN %: .600 STREAK: Won one They've formed a friendship with Rising Sun Revolution, but can anyone really trust The Alphabet Boys? 9. PAIN INC. RECORD: 7-5-0 WIN %: .583 STREAK: Lost two Struggled in November, but they're training hard in Indonesia. 10. THE ZODIAC CONNECTION RECORD: 6-8-0 WIN %: .429 STREAK: Lost one Gave G.W.R. a great match on Saturday, but still an inconsistent team. 11. THE PLAYERS' CLUB RECORD: 1-4-0 WIN %: .200 STREAK: Lost four Rumors persist about an injury being the cause of this team's poor showing so far in the IIWF. If they come back healthy, The Players' Club could live up to expectations. ************************************************************************** ------------- COMING FRIDAY: COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT ---------------- ************************************************************************** Fans, be sure to join Becky LaRue and me tomorrow night for "Wednesday War Room," and Becky will join Larry Morton on Friday for "Countdown to Saturday Night" as we continue this exciting world tour. Until then, this is Tim Dross for the cast and crew of "Inside the IIWF" saying: so long, everyone! [The credits roll as the lighting on the broadcast desk drops and Dross resumes shuffling papers on the desk. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+