[Cut to a montage of IIWF action accompanied by hard rock music. The final chord lingers as Alphabet Boy Abie dropkicks Alphabet Boy Zed. Suddenly, the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - December 6, 1996 ================================================= [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scream and wave. A man takes off his belt and screams "I got your strap right here, Brody Thunder" -- just before his pants fall down. Another man proudly displays his official "IIWF- Aaron the Caddy Putter." And an elderly woman waves a "Billy Sexton is Being Screwed" poster. Zoom to Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again, everyone, and welcome to "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm your host Larry Morton, and beside me is my broadcast partner Becky LaRue, whom you met up close and personal Tuesday night. BL: It's was as up close and personal as most of the morons out there will ever get. Hey Larry, didja hear all the nasty things I said about you? LM: Yes, yes. Quite honestly, I'm getting rather used to it. BL: Well, where's the fun in that? LM: Let's open tonight's show with some bad news. As Tim Dross indicated on Tuesday, a longtime star in the IIWF has decided not to renew his contract. Robski, "The English Sensation," is leaving the IIWF this week to pursue other goals. While I haven't always agreed with him or his tactics, I wish Robski well in his future endeavors. BL: And more bad news for us. It looks like The Stone Stable will be following The Atomic Destroyers' path. The IIWF's sister federation in Japan has made Robo Stone a great offer, so he's planning to take Fisto Flash and Heavy Metal to the Orient beginning next week. I'm gonna miss those guys. LM: The silver lining is that the IIWF brass has been evaluating the waiting list and we'll tell you later on about THREE new wrestlers who will be joining the IIWF's rosters. BL: I suppose that J.P. Steele blowhard is one of them. LM: Actually, no. But I DO have some interesting news on that front... since you asked. BL: Asked? Did I ask anything? Did you see a question mark on the end of my sentence? LM: [ignoring her] We've had equal pushes from J.P. Steele and "The Real Deal" Luke Steele to join the IIWF. Ironically, they aren't related, but the IIWF front office seems to think there is only room for one Steele in the IIWF. BL: I'm not sure there is even THAT much room. LM: Well, in an unprecedented move, we will hold a "Winner Earns a Contract" match at the upcoming pay-per-view "Snow Brawl" on December 21. J.P. Steele will meet Luke Steele, with the winner earning a IIWF contract. BL: And the loser goes back to Pittsburgh. Hehe. LM: Huh? BL: Pittsburgh. The Steel City. Jeez, Larry, if I have to explain it... LM: We'll hear a little bit from J.P. Steele -- who has been attending most of the IIWF events, I might add -- later in the show. And we'll finally meet this "Real Deal" Luke Steele. BL: [sarcastically] Don't we have any REAL news? LM: In fact, we do. Tim Dross received a memo yesterday which may lead to news about Legion, who was beaten by his former allies and carried from the Coliseum by monks two weeks ago. Let me read you that memo now: Dear Tim: Have you bought a new toupee yet or do you still have the one you had when I last showed my face? I can't tell you who I am, but you should know that this Saturday, the truth behind Legion's disappearance will be told. Of course, this means that Bishop Right will return to the IIWF -- and when he does, another more imposing person is not far behind. I'd just like to warn you that with Legion, all is not as it appears to be... just ask his twin brother. The Informant. BL: Legion has a twin brother? Wow, I'll bet his mother was real thrilled about delivering twin seven-footers. LM: We'll be keeping tabs on this story as it develops tomorrow night from London. But now, let's take a look back at the "Wednesday War Room" and everything that went down in The Michelin Center in Paris. ************************************************************************** -------------------- IIWF WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM RECAP ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: As Tim and Becky reported on Wednesday, the action was hot and heavy in the War Room. Let's check the fallout from those great matches: ************************************************** MAD DOG WATKINS defeated MAJESTIC MAURICE McARTHUR ************************************************** LM: Mad Dog Watkins was impressive in his IIWF debut, overpowering an outmatched McArthur. The fans weren't overly interested in the romp, but one Steve "The Fury" Kowalski certainly was. We'll have to see what the future holds for those two. BL: There's only one way to handle a mad dog -- shoot it between the eyes. I think Kowalski is ready to pick up where his father, Bruno the Sandman, left off with Watkins. Or maybe Kowalski was just bluffing to put a thought in Mad Dog's mind. Who knows? ************************************************** HARLEQUIN CHAOS defeated "NIFTY" NED NORTON ************************************************** LM: It was another successful debut for Harlequin Chaos, who apparently can go out of control at any given moment. That was really scary. BL: Naw, _scary_ is a Harlequin family reunion. I said it Wednesday night and I'll say it again, the kid will learn a hard lesson when he meets some of the veterans in the IIWF. Let's face it, Ned Norton ain't no Otto Verhoeven. LM: Er, well put. I think. ******************************************************** "BLITZ LIGHTNING" BOBBY LINCOLN defeated EL SUPER GECKO ******************************************************** LM: Bobby Lincoln threatened IIWF President Dan Spreadbury earlier in the evening, and then made an example of the leapin' lizard. Lincoln seems determined to break some bones in the IIWF, one way or another. **************************************************** HAKIRO MATSUOKO defeated "HIGH ROLLER" JOHN McCLAIN **************************************************** LM: Speculation continues to build surrounding Hakiro Matsuoko and the Syndicate. Tiger Claw interfered in this match and tripped Hakiro -- possibly by accident, possibly not -- and the two brawled briefly before Claw was banished from ringside. As I reported on Wednesday, negotiations are underway to sign a match between Hakiro Matsuoko and Tiger Claw. BL: I think it's a mistake, but Matsuoko continues to insist that he has severed all ties to the Syndicate: [SCENE: Hakiro Matusoko's dojo in Tokyo, it is night, and the sounds of flesh pounding against wood echo through the halls. Finally, Hakiro is seen working out on an unpadded wooden board with many "arms." Hakiro does his exercises with amazing speed, accuracy and power. He finally completes his workout and turns to the camera.] HM: Life has many mysteries, but people here still continue to question me as to my relationship with the Syndicate. The answer is a simple one, and one I have stated repeatedly, there is no relationship. My business with Brian is complete. I have fulfilled my contractual obligations and I have left their camp. I was in the Syndicate for many months. I know the games they play. Brian Lau uses psychological warfare as well as the physical. That is what he is doing now -- all of that with Tiger Claw and the Shinja Chow matchup. I was completely ignorant to the situation. Brian loves to have belts, he loves the fame and money. He is making it look like we are together when we are not. I am done with the Syndicate. I have chosen my path and it is my own. I fight for myself. I do not appreciate the implications that certain people here are making that there is still this alliance. My alliance ended weeks ago, right after Latta left. Brian and I had different ideas of where the Syndicate should go. It shall be left at that. I want nothing to take away from my accomplishments here. I am still the Cruiserweight Champion and a former Intercontinental Champion. I earned those awards myself, with hard work and determination. The only person I need here is myself. Never forget who you are facing when you face me. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: We'll hear some interesting comments from Brian Lau about Hakiro Matsuoko later in the show. **************************************** "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI defeated ROBSKI **************************************** LM: In his IIWF swan song, Robski fell victim to Musashi's quickness. However, it was nearly a swan song for Musashi when the Dark Disciples attacked him after the match. What a match it will be this Saturday when "The Enigma" teams with the White Phoenix against Don McQueen's men. And Musashi's IIWF career is on the line. BL: I'm surprised McQueen agreed to that match. After all, he held all the cards. With Musashi's contract in hand, he could make sure "The Enigma" doesn't wrestle in the IIWF for two more years. LM: But McQueen won't be happy with that. He wants to hurt Musashi, and getting his men in the ring with him is the only _legal_ way to do it. Let's hear first from Takezo Musashi about that match: [SCENE: Takezo Musashi stands in his dojo with his back to the camera. The room is dimly lit by flickering candlelight. The back wall is lined with portraits of great samurai and warriors from the past. The "Enigma" looks up and ponders the portraits for awhile before turning to face the camera.] TM: These men are my true ancestors. Men of courage, men of might and most importantly, men of honor. All my life I have strived to live up to their ideal, seeking to master my eternal spirit through the ritual and discipline of martial arts. One day, perhaps my portrait will be worthy of a place in this hallowed hall. But first, there are many trials to overcome. Little did I know before, how deadly the trials set before me have turned out to be. They assail me most strongly as my star prepares to shine its brightest. [Takezo sits down cross-legged over the flickering candle. His eyes shut as he contemplates for a moment. The dancing flame bathes the "Enigma's" face in an eerie glow and reflects in facets off his silver and blue face paint.] Some may question my decision to put my career on the line against the Dark Disciples on Saturday night. Some may think it foolish to so easily risk throwing aside all that I have strived for and have come so close to achieving. But these people do not comprehend the mind of the samurai, the mind of the perfect warrior. I must prove myself worthy of the warrior mantle I have inherited, or perish in the attempt. There can be no other way. I must be free to pursue my quest, unfettered by the wiles of unscrupulous men like Don McQueen, and tyrannous sub-human men such as the Dark Disciples. [The "Enigma's" eyes flicker open again and now they possess a look of fierce determination.] I warn you, Kane and Wulf, I did not take my decision lightly. I did not choose this way to make your goal of destruction easier, I chose this way to affirm my courage and strength, to channel my determination and spirit for battle. My abilities have been honed to invincible proportions, my long winning streak attests to this. My friend Shinja Chow will be standing by my side and we shall be blessed by the fire spirit as well as the Gods of Honor. With this, we shall strive mightily and overcome the wielders of darkness. [Takezo bows his head and looks grim] It must be so, for otherwise all will fail. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Hey Larry, do you think those tapes are dubbed? Musashi's mouth and words never seem to match up -- kinda like those kung fu movies. ********************************** THE DARK DISCIPLES defeated G.W.R. ********************************** LM: The Armed Forces gained a measure of revenge by distracting Loco and Spoiler and giving the Disciples a chance to pull off the win. Kane and Wulf are ready for the challenge against Musashi and Chow -- and seem confident that Musashi will be wrestling his final match on Saturday night. BL: And it's hard to disagree with these guys: [SCENE: A room blanketed in darkness. A few dim shapes can be made out but not identified. The only sound is the slow dripping of moisture as in a damp cave. Suddenly, a match flares in the darkness revealing for a moment the grim visage of Kane. He touches the match to an old oil lamp and the room is bathed in a dim glow, revealing what looks like an ancient, flagstone cellar. Various torturing devices are scattered about, many of which look like they have been handed down from medieval times and would require a sick mind to divine their purpose. The floor is etched with a large pentagram, in the centre of which stands Kane.] KANE: Welcome gentle visitors, to the lair of the Dark Disciples. You may come out and give greeting to our guests now, Wulf. [A large stone sarcophagus leaning against the wall swings open with a loud crreeeeak and out steps Wulf snarling and baring his incisors.] You are now being given a rare glimpse, a glimpse into a place seldom trodden by any being. Well... any human being that is. [Kane emits a soft and evil chuckle] The reason for this dubious privilege, you ask? It is for a celebration, a very special occasion, the eve of Takezo Musashi's destruction. It is appropriate that this should occur with the oncoming of winter, when frost blights the land and the hearts of the people. How my blackened soul yearns for Saturday night, when at last we shall have the chance to crush one of the pre-eminent heroes of the IIWF. At last the world shall see how pathetic and weak are the concepts of honor and fair play when faced with the might of darkness and evil men. Soon, we shall see the weeping of the women and the children and the despair of the men, as the angel of death's icy fingers grip the IIWF. Through the Dark Disciples the plague shall spread. Through our dominion of the weak and infirmed warriors of the IIWF, the loathing and fear shall creep into the hearts of every man. Takezo Musashi, you stand in our way. You are the last hope of the old age, a samurai warrior sent to defend the forces of light. You are an irritating snag preventing the wings of the Dark Lord from spreading. You cannot be allowed to oppose the ways of darkness. As the servants of evil, it is our task to eliminate you. Once you are removed from the public spotlight and your career has been cast into the pit, there will be no hero for the people to look up to. There will be no one for them to cheer, and no one to inspire them to fight the evil that spawns in their hearts. All that will be left is chaos and dismay, as the Dark Disciples exult in spilling the blood of the innocent. Now as for this Shinja Chow, I believe you have something to say to this man, Wulf.... [Wulf emits a scathing hiss] WULF: Shinja Chow, I have not forgotten the burning of your flames. I have not forgotten the searing light of the fireball you threw at me. I have seen it ever since, a flickering fire burning in my mind, torturing me and preventing me from sleep. This pain you have caused me I shall inflict back upon you a dozen times over, and it will be pain you shall never, ever recover from, I promise you I will see to that. And the voices Shinja, the voices in my head are urging me. They have been with me since I was a child and ever they command me to acts of bloodshed and destruction. They have chosen you Shinja as my first victim in the IIWF, and so it shall be done! KANE: Come Saturday night, "Enigma" and White Phoenix, you shall know first-hand the bleak, unstoppable power of darkness. [Kane begins to cackle. As his laughter builds, the camera's image distorts so that the Dark Disciples blur into multiple figures spinning around the room. The laughter echoes wildly. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ********************************************* THE ALPHABET BOYS defeated ZODIAC CONNECTION ********************************************* LM: With an Alphabet Boys fan in their corner, Abie and Zed felt lucky and got the victory with their double running clothesline finisher. BL: It's frightening to know that people actually _like_ those guys. LM: People sure like the Zodiacs, even though they've been sliding lately: [SCENE: Taurus and Scorpio -- Zodiac Connection -- stand in the IIWF interview area.] SCORPIO: What is happening with us lately? It seems that no matter what we do, we always end up on the short end of the stick. That match with the Alphabet Boys... I can't believe we let ourselves behave that stupidly. To our fans, I must apologize for our past performance. We have not lived up to our own expectations and quite frankly, I believe that we have not lived up to the standard of excellence which you, the people that contribute the funds from which our salaries come, have demanded from us. We would like to thank those of you who have continued to show your love and affection for us even as we have slumped along the way. We want to thank you for not giving up on The Zodiac Connection. We hope that soon the time will come for us to rise to the top! TAURUS: Alphabet Boys... we will cross paths again one day! We will fight you with every single breath we have as we push ourselves beyond our own limitations. We never expected to come into the IIWF undefeated and we are definitely learning from the mistakes we have made along the way. We look up to the stars and see that the constellation of Gemini is shining bright at the moment! We look to the strength of the stars as a sign of great events to come! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ******************************************** CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES defeated ONSLAUGHT ******************************************** LM: Onslaught desperately wanted to gain revenge on Casey James for the attack recently on Ton Starks, but he was distracted by the presence of Mr. Kobiashi at ringside. Onslaught seems to be blinded by rage right now. BL: And I think we'll found out why in the following tape: [SCENE: Tony Starks' New York apartment. Tony is doing a light workout to help his injured back. Just before he completes his workout Onslaught walks in.] TS: Where have you been? Dross and the execs have been looking for you. ON: It was Kobiashi, I got word early in the week that there was trouble in Mexico. I took the first flight down, got to my training facility and found it burned. I went back to my apartment and got a message from Kobiashi, he said that was just the start. TS: Damn him! I swear that I will squeeze every ounce of life from his lungs the next time I see him. He destroys everything I know. First he tried to get me, then it was Hunter Robertson, now you. Kobiashi, Lau, Flash, James, I know you are listening to me. I want you to enjoy every moment of life you have, because you won't have it for very much longer. Kobiashi, you should have left me alone. You have angered me for the last time. You hear me? That goes for all your little henchmen as well. You aren't even going to see it coming. I swear this to you. ON: That goes for me as well, Casey James, Fisto Flash you two will see me in the ring sometime and you are going to wonder what in the hell is attacking you. Well, Hell is just it. Blood is the bond, Tony and I go back a long time, back to Japan. This is where I first learned of Kobiashi. You are a wicked man, you do wicked deeds. You shall reap what you sow. The police have never been able to pin anything on you. Well, I shall get you back for all the lives you have destroyed -- for all the evil you have done. TS: Word. Kobiashi call all those hot shot lawyers you got. Tell them to make you a will because you are going to need it. You know, after the last attack by Cornball James, I was thinking of listening to my doctor and just walking away from all this. I now know that I can't, you won't let me. You have awakened the old Tony Starks, and if you thought I was bad in the ring before, you haven't seen anything. I am going to work every day to get back in that ring and destroy you all. Peace. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Casey James, meanwhile, keeps getting more and more demented. BL: Hehe, I think it's kinda cute. LM: Well check out these accusations aimed at Dan Kauffman: [SCENE: Casey is sitting in a television control room, muttering to himself and watching a wrestling match on a screen.] CJ: So I says to him... Heh, I says to him, "You can't leave the table until your plate is clean!" Ha! Can't leave the table until your plate is clean... I crack me up. Oh, We're on? Okay... Hey, everyone. Well, it's me again... [Casey drinks up a can of cola.] Okay, so I had a match against Onslaught. Three problems. First, I was getting paid to beat the guy up. I don't know, but beating a guy up for money is so... dirty. Anyway, second, it wasn't Dan Kauffman in there with me.. Third? Well... well, it wasn't Dan Kauffman in there. So, in order to get my craving for Dan out of my system, I decided to look at his past. Let me cue up some footage for you... [Casey begins rewinding a tape of hours of wrestling footage, and stops it on a shot of a ring with the logo for the Digital Wrestling Alliance.] Okay, so here's some rinky dink outfit that I found some footage of... Lo and behold, who do I see? [Casey allows the ring introductions to play, and a wrestler wearing green and black makeup on his face walks the aisle. The name "Dan Khaos" appears under the figure. Dan Khaos snarls into the camera, and Casey pauses it.] Look at this freak... I mean _really_ look at him. Okay, so he's wearing makeup... look harder. Is that our little Danny Boy under that makeup? Why, I think it is! Seeing him snarl like that is a little funny. It would appear that Dan Kauffman thought he had what it took to be a badass! This isn't what I wanted to show you, though. It looks like Dan has a few more demons that might be haunting him when he sleeps.... [Khaos and his opponent fight outside the ring, trading hard shots. The opponent seems to be getting the upper hand, and in desperation, Khaos flings a fireball. The opponent dodges, and the flame ignites a few fans. One of the fans is a fairly young girl.] Dan, Dan, Dan. That girl was thirteen years old. Later, she was hospitalized from the burns, and had a few seizures. All because of _you_ Dan... Oh, but wait... there's more... [Casey lets the tape get to another segment where Dan is referred to as simply "Khaos".] So he simplifies his name. I guess after that ugly incident, he wanted to separate himself as much from the character of "Khaos" as possible. So he's not Dan anymore, but we all know the truth. In this match, Dan faced a man named Quasar. It appears that Dan had quite a temper. Just look.... [Khaos and Quasar fight outside the ring near the timekeepers table. Quasar is whipped into the ring post, and Khaos shoves the timekeeper out of his chair. Khaos picks up the chair and swings it down on Quasar's back. The steel chair actually breaks, and a different snapping noise can be heard. Casey pauses the tape.] Quasar suffered four broken ribs from that shot. Ouch. So we know now that at one time, Danny Boy was ruthless. But wait, there's more. This one's _really_ nasty, so kids, if you're watching... well, keep watching, because you can do this to your brother or sister some day. [Khaos is in the ring with then-DWA TV champion, Earl Gregory. Gregory has the upper hand, and Khaos, frustrated, rolls out of the ring and snatches the ring bell from the timekeeper. He comes back in, and closes in on Gregory. Gregory's female valet jumps up on the apron to point out the weapon to the ref. Gregory backs up, and Khaos fakes a swing. Gregory ducks, and Khaos laughs, looks at the valet, then swings around and clocks her upside the head with the bell...] OUCH!!! Look at that again... I don't think that was an accident... [Casey plays the clip again] No, I'm pretty sure our little Danny _meant_ to do that! Not only did Dan hit a woman, he hit her with a bell! Oh, man... What a hero. Anyway, Dan Kauffman's past is littered with events like this. He went under this name Khaos for all of them, though, and wore that face paint. So, Dan, where's this Demon you called Khaos now? Is he still in there? I mean, you were a pretty bad fig for a while there, and now look at you. All the fans love you, but will they still feel the same after they see this? Maybe... maybe not. I really don't care. See, what this all says to me is that we're not all that different. See, I do whatever it takes to win, and you used to as well. Dan, I want to face Dan "Khaos" Kauffman in the ring when we meet. I want you to pull out all the stops when we face each other, because after I beat you, there will be _no_ doubt that I'm the better man. [Casey finishes off his drink] Now as much as I enjoy beating people up, I think I deserve a really big prize for all the work I'm doing to get you to give me a match... I want your belt. Now I know that I'll probably have to wait until after Deathbringer gets through with you, but until then, I'm going to make sure nothing happens to that belt. Hopefully, you won't screw everything up and lose it at Snow Brawl. Dan, at first this was about getting into your head. Now it's much more. It's about helping you keep that prize of yours. Heh... I'm looking out for you now, Danny... [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Ooh, looks like Danny has a history he isn't proud of. I find that kind of... exciting. LM: You would. ******************************************************* HARLEQUIN TRAGEDY defeated OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN ******************************************************* LM: This was shaping up to be a great speed versus size match when The Sandman, of all people, showed his true stripes and hurled dust in Harlequin Tragedy's eyes. Verhoeven was disqualified, but he got his money's worth by continuing to beat on Tragedy. BL: Did you see how long it took for Harlequin Chaos to actually understand what was happening. [in a goofy voice] "Duh, who's the Sandy guy and why is he throwing stuff in Tragedy's face? Duh. Duh." Hehe... snort. LM: That's not funny, Becky. BL: Sure it is. Weren't you listening? LM: Yes. Well "The Butcher" walked away from the match unsatisfied. He has challenges for both the Harlequins _and_ the Sandman: [SCENE: A luxuriously furnished apartment. Through the windows you can see the Eiffel Tower by night. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven is arguing with Doctor Hinterhalt, who is still wearing his lab coat. Heidi watches with a concerned look on her face.] OV: Shut up, you little egghead, or I will shove your books down your throat! DH: It is not my fault that you lost your match! If you had dealt with Tragedy faster than that, the Sandman guy would not have... OV: I see! Now it is my fault that the bastard Sandman dared to interfere in MY business! DH: That's not what I said! NH: Leute, bitte! This argument von't help us. OV: Ja, you're right. I guess I am just in the mood to bash some heads and crack some bones, and, trust me, this will happen. Harlequins, I hope you are not too busy to grant me a... [he cracks a smile] ...a fair rematch. I don't care if I fight that stone-cold Harlequin "I'm-a-Tragedy" or his deranged kid brother! NH: I think that boy needs a good therapy, Butcher-style. DH: What do you mean? OV: Some good old blows to the head and a Slaughterslam for good measure, doctor. Nothing is better to clean the head of some of those ranting imbeciles. Oh, and Sandman, don't ever even think again about getting involved in my matches, unless you wish to feel the wrath of the Butcher. You say you have open contracts? Well, I hope to pay you back next Wednesday, to teach you a lesson everybody has to learn sooner or later: Do not confront the German juggernaut, or you will face the consequences! NH: Speaking of fools, Sasha, I am so glad that you have accepted my challenge. But I have to vonder vat you are thinking. Of course, you never saw me wrestle. I debuted after you left our home country. But didn't your dear daddy varn you? I am one of the most vicious and most talented females ever to step into the ring -- a technical vrestler of the highest level, a predator in the ring. I vill take you apart, you spoiled brat, disable limb after limb until you are nothing but a pile of bloody meat lying on the ground, crying out in pain because I used yet another move you never even saw. You vill experience a first-class treatment by the nurse. OV: That's enough for now. We will visit Berlin soon, and I want to be prepared for this homecoming. NH: Oh, I vanted to go shopping. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Since Nurse Heidi mentioned that match with Sasha already, we'd like to get Sasha's reasoning for signing the contest. I don't know what she was thinking, but she's standing by in our other studio with Tim Dross. Tim? [Cut to Tim Dross in the interview area] TD: Fans, I'm here to get to the bottom of Sasha's surprise acceptance of Nurse Heidi's challenge to a Valet match, a Cat Fight Match, if you will. Sasha... [Enter Sasha] MS: Tim I've grown sick and tired of watch people blindside Psycho. And when Otto and Heidi started using me as a distraction against Psycho I felt I had to do something. TD: But to wrestle Heidi? She's an experienced ring veteran! What experience do you have? MS: I've never actually wrestled, but I grew up around wrestlers. My father ran a wrestling school and later his own small federation. I probably know more about wrestling than most of the wrestlers in the IIWF, I just have to learn how to apply that knowledge on my own. After all, it was I who taught Psycho most of his moves. TD: Well you certainly sound confident, but Nurse Hei... [The Subway Psycho charges onto the set] TD: Psycho! Wha-- SP: Excuse me, Tim. Sasha, just what in the hell are you doing? I thought we agreed that you'd stay out of this? MS: We did... but after last Saturday I realized that Otto and Heidi aren't going to leave this alone. They see me as YOUR weakness and they're going to exploit it. The only way to put an end to it is for me to stand up to the slut and put her in her place. Only then can you settle things with Otto, man to man. TD: How 'bout it Psycho? Would you agree that Sasha is your weakness? Directly or indirectly, her presence has cost you matches such as the Coronation Clash Tournament, your IIWF World Title, a match with Stud Stetson and last Saturday's match with Mr. Damage. Is she your weak link? [Dross shoves the mic in Psycho's face, but Psycho only glares at Tim. Dross decides it's best to change the subject.] TD: Uh, ha, hmmm.... Well how do you feel about being suspended in a cage above the ring? SP: [ignoring Dross and turning to Sasha] I can't believe you let yourself get suckered into this, Sasha! If anything goes wrong I won't be able to protect you. You have to call this off! MS: Too late... the contracts are signed. Don't worry, I can take care of myself. I wouldn't have signed the match if I didn't think I would win. Besides, I'm going to have a little surprise with me that night. SP: You're talking crazy. [Psycho storms off the set] TD: Whoa... what do you make of that reaction? MS: It's easy to get him upset. Probably all this light is getting to him. I better go see. [she exits] TD: Well there you have it. Sasha is going out on her own to accept Nurse Heidi's challenge... against Subway Psycho's wishes. This should all prove interesting on the route to Snow Brawl. Back to you guys. [Cut back to Larry and Becky.] ************************************************************ NO CONTEST: "LONE WOLF" BRODY THUNDER vs. "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE ************************************************************ LM: "Painbringer" Billy Sexton continues to insist that Billy Shakespeare is faking his injuries, but Billy clearly was in pain against Thunder. BL: And things got worse for Billy Boy when The Universal Powers came in. Boy, Lincoln and Franklin really pummeled him. LM: Yes, but they may have made a big mistake in also taking on Brody Thunder, who took on BOTH of The Universal Powers -- and was holding his own when the brawl was broken up. There certainly is some bad blood and unfinished business after that match. [Billy Shakespeare stands looking at the grave of William Shakespeare during the IIWF tour of England. He winces in pain as he kneels and turns to face the camera.] BS: "Let the end try the man". Henry IV, part 2. Indeed the ending to Billy Shakespeare's last few performances have been a tragedy at best. Lo' how far the mighty have fallen. I have seen "Thunder" and "Lightning" in the ring. Indeed a veritable tempest. I have seen false accusations against me, as did Othello from Iago. It drove Othello to destroy the thing he loved best. Billy Sexton, you will not drive me to a similar end. I will suffer your abuse, but flesh will heal. You have made a taste of victory, but you have mistaken fleeting fate with invincibility. Sexton, think ye these a charade? [He lifts his shirt to display a huge purple mottled bruise across his ribs] Bring your worst Sexton, Lincoln, Thunder. Matsuoko, Claw, Kowalski, winter appears to be hunting season on Billy Shakespeare. But alas, while the first few acts belong to those who would bring the hero down, the last acts will always be pure Shakespeare. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ********************************************************* RISING SUN REVOLUTION/ defeated HEAVY METAL/ DOMINATION THE ARABIAN KNIGHTS ********************************************************* LM: Rising Sun Revolution and Domination may have gotten the victory in this eight-man matchup, but at what price? It seemed that both teams wanted only to work with their partners. We were more concerned about Heavy Metal and The Arabian Knights getting along. BL: It just goes to show you that friends shouldn't work together. Fortunately, I don't have that problem on this show. LM: Well Ryudo and Hiroshi weren't in any mood to discuss it, but they DID talk about their title matchup with The High Plains Drifters coming up tomorrow night. We'll hear from them a little bit later in the show. ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Fans, the war of words between Dan Kauffman and Deathbringer continues to heat up as they head for an apparent showdown at "Snow Brawl." I can't see anything keeping these two from what may be a main event for the ages. BL: And we all know that Deathbringer LOVES to send Danny to the hospital after pay-per-views. LM: Perhaps, but he's never finished the job. Let's hear from Dan Kauffman: [Clips of the very first IIWF Wrestling event appear on the screen, when Dan Kauffman met Deathbringer for the first time... Kauffman walks right up to the big man without so much as a blink, and Tim Dross can be heard in the background saying "Kauffman's not scared of Deathbringer!", followed by Steve Roberts' "I told you he was stupid!" The shot freezes as the two wrestlers continue their staredown...] DK: You knew at this time, Deathbringer, that we were destined to battle like no men... or dead... had ever battled before. You said after this first encounter that I was perhaps the bravest mortal you had ever encountered. Then, you tried to be my maker... [The shot returns to action and the moves to the end of the match, when Kauffman uses a Victory-Roll from the top-rope to pin the Deathbringer. Bringer's feet are indeed in the ropes, but the count is still made... and the screen freezes once more.] The battle would be won by me... but not the war. [The screen again comes to life, as Deathbringer attacks Kauffman after the match, lifting him up and executing a Tombstone Piledriver and leaving Kauffman laid out in the middle of the ring.] You tried to end my career for what you deemed a misjustice. You tried to be my maker... [The screen slowly fades into the scene where Kauffman gets up under his own power and walks to the locker room after the attack. The screen freezes once more.] ...you failed. [Cut to a scene from an early edition of Saturday Night, when Kauffman met Deathbringer in a Steel Cage Texas Death Match. Again, there is a staredown...] There came the second meeting, a meeting that you yourself had demanded. You wanted another shot at the man who had unfairly won the first encounter. You wanted to lead me into the world of the dark side, of death. I was eager to follow. So I did. And once more, you tried to be my maker. [Cut to the shot where Deathbringer plants Kauffman in the center of the ring with the Burial, and pins him. Joe Latta explodes over the top of the cage as the ten-count is applied, and just as he attacks Deathbringer, the shot freezes again.] Once more, you got your blows, and who knows, were it not for the surprising aid of my friend, I may not have been able to get back to my feet... but I did. You tried to be my maker... [Cut to the shot where Kauffman struggles to his feet in the cage as Deathbringer and Latta battle in the aisle. Kauffman looks on as bringer is able to rid himself of Latta, and Deathbringer looks at Kauffman, forming another staredown...] ... you failed. [Cut to the shot from the legendary Deathmatch between Kauffman and Bringer. Kauffman, dressed in a black flowing attire, stares deep into the Bringer's eyes, as Bringer does the same... the screen freezes.] When the Deathmatch arrived, we promised to each other that the war would end "here." We had both fought with honor, with respect, and with our beliefs. And indeed, there was a war. [Various clips appear in still shots: the shot to the throat with the crowd barrier Bringer executed on Kauffman, Kauffman's jumping piledriver on a steel chair on Bringer, Bringer's tombstone piledriver on the concrete floor, Kauffman's Lights-Out Clothesline from the top rope on Bringer, and finally, the spectacular splash performed by Bringer over the ropes to the outside onto Kauffman that won the match. Two more stills show different scenes: Deathbringer standing over Kauffman with his hands raised, and Kauffman, in a hospital bed the following day.] The war was won by you. Death had had its day in the light, and it had won. But I had won as well, for I had learned several things about myself that were necessary to recover. We both taught each other things we had not known. [The screen shows one last still photo -- when Kauffman returned to the IIWF after four weeks following the Deathmatch...] Deathbringer, you were never my maker. You never will be. We both know that, come the end of our struggles, we will both ultimately walk off in opposite directions. We are both survivors. We will both survive our encounters, past, previous or in the future. Our war is about Life and Death taking their respective courses, clashing often, cooperating when necessary, dueling with each other always. We both knew after that first staredown, when the IIWF was a dream just two hours old, that we would see much more of each other. We didn't fail to disappoint. So it is that we shall meet again. Tell me... Why am I not surprised? [The shot fades slowly to black, and the question is left hanging in the air. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Fans, you witnessed a heinous attack on Marty Warnett last weekend by one "Superstar" Stud Stetson. I understand that, despite his injuries, Marty will be ready to face Lord Byron in the pure science match tomorrow night. BL: Maybe Byron will finish the job tomorrow. Or maybe Stetson will show up again. Or maybe Lincoln will... LM: I get the picture, Becky. Anyway, Marty Warnett is standing by to chat with us here in London. Marty, can you hear me? [Cut to a shot of Marty Warnett standing outside a London Hotel in the car park. He's dressed in street clothes, holding a baseball bat. The car park is virtually empty. He stands next to a Corvette] MW: Byron, Byron, Byron, you had a chance to take me out of commission but didn't. Bad move. I'm wearing a knee brace, but I guess that's a small price compared with finally being able to pin you to the mat, one, two, three. Now, I know I probably need your cane more than you do at the moment, but you won't be able to use it Saturday. In fact, Saturday holds a BIG, and boy, do I mean BIG surprise ahead. You called the stipulations. I approached the Booking Committee with a stip of my own, and they were most accommodating. As you would say, Ciao baby. This bout must be our last for now, because other people have poked their noses into my business, I guess the rock never stops. [Marty twirls the bat around, stopping to admire the workmanship of the car] Yeah, one of the things I like about America is the quality of cars produced there. I mean, this Corvette is fast, sleek, and well-made. Truly a car for a superstar. Heck, Stetson owns this motor, a class car for a truly class person. [Marty picks up a pebble, tosses it in the air before dispatching it over the fence] Gee, a six. Well, here in cricket, anyway. Back Stateside, the best I coulda got for that is, what, four? Still. Stetson, I can see why you get such a kick from using this kinda weapon. The swish of the air, the full shoulder rotation. [Marty swings freely, several times] Man, what a rush! Stetson, I know you're in your room with Lace, I guess planning strategy for when we meet. And believe me, we will. So, I guess this must be your car, huh? What I always wanted to know, the insurance premiums must be pretty high? If anybody attacked it, would it cost a lot to fix? Heck, I DON'T CARE! [Marty goes berserk, smashing windscreen, bonnet, doors, windows in a prolonged attack on the vehicle with the bat. When finished, the Corvette is undriveable, needing a lot of work. Security personnel rush out of a far door.] Stetson you send me to the hospital, I send one of your things to the morgue! Turnaround is fair play, and you wanna get nasty, get ready to party ... and you'd better bring your own jelly and blancmange. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Something tells me Stetson won't be happy when he sees that. BL: Hey Larry, what the hell is blancmange? LM: Uh, I... uh. [changing the subject] Lord Byron is ready to take on Warnett tomorrow night, and he's looking forward to doing it in front of his countrymen. Tim Dross visited the palatial estate of Lord Byron earlier today: [Lord Byron is in the hallway of his English home, an opulently decorated estate in Lancashire, with the Lady DeWinter. IIWF interviewer Tim Dross is ushered into the hallway, and looks around the hallway in awe: It is decorated in a Victorian style, antique statuettes and pictures frame the walls, and in pride of place at the far end, is a picture of the great George Gordon himself. As Tim Dross approaches, Byron turns around with a smirk.] LB: Ah, Mr. Dross. Welcome to my [he gestures around him]... humble home. TD: I thought your home in New Orleans was impressive... but this.... LD: Milord doesn't often have the chance to stay here now. Fortunately, the IIWF World Tour has given him the chance to stay here for a week. LB: I do get homesick sometimes, but generally this place stifles me. I would prefer to sell it and buy something more modern, but.... well, it _is_ my heritage, after all. TD: Can I start by asking you about your match with Harlequin Tragedy last weekend? It was quite a match. LB: [mockingly] Yes it was, wasn't it? Frankly, I had expected more from Tragedy than that. Well, it was only his own fault, if you bring trouble to the ring, you get trouble. Still, maybe we'll meet again in the future. For now, I have other things on my mind. TD: We missed you at the event in Paris. LB: I was here. As you well know, I have a big match tomorrow, and one that I am thoroughly looking forward to. It pays to prepare in advance. TD: Yes, your match with Marty Warnett -- a pure science match. You're taking a big risk there, Byron. LB: [raising an eyebrow] You think so? TD: The match clause: "The loser must acknowledge the winner as the superior athlete." Do you really think Warnett will be prepared to do that in front of thousands of his fans, in his homeland? LB: [smirking] Ah yes. The clause. I'll be frank here, Mr. Dross. These are my countrymen too. And do you think I'll be ready to go down on one knee in front of Warnett? No indeed. I know it will be a tough match. Maybe my toughest since my arrival here in the IIWF. But the clause I imposed only makes me all the more determined to win it. TD: And why a pure science match? LB: Because Warnett needs to be taught a lesson under his own terms. I have gained two clear wins over him here in the IIWF, and yet he still demands satisfaction. [Byron shrugs] If he wants me to prove I can beat him again, so be it. And in a pure science match, he can have no complaints. [Byron sneers] My technical ability is undeniable. Warnett WILL lose. TD: And what about the rumors of his asking the officials for a special request? LB: [shrugging] Whatever it is, it does not concern me. If he is worried about outside interference, surely he can recognize that such would cost me the match instantly. Why would I want that? I have no need of help to dispatch a pup like Warnett. As I have proven before, and will again. TD: Byron, Milady, thanks for the comments. We'll see you in the Royal Albert Hall on Saturday. LB: Ciao. [Byron and DeWinter watch as the butler leads Tim Dross back to the door, and Byron turns back to the picture. The scene fades out.] BL: C'mon Larry, you can tell me. What the hell is blancmange? LM: [shrugs his shoulders] Moving on, a match that should give everyone in London their money's worth will be the matchup between Steve Kowalski and Mr. Damage. Both men know not only how to win, but how to injure opponents in the process. BL: Yeah, those two guys can beat the blancmange out of people... whatever the hell it is. LM: Let's hear from The New Jersey Nightmare: [SCENE: A rainy day. The Hudson river is choppy. The seagulls can be heard squawking overhead. A lone figure stands at the end of the docks, puffing away on a cigar. As the camera pans in closer, it becomes apparent that he figure is the New Jersey Nightmare himself. Steve "The Fury" Kowalski flicks the last of his stogie at one of the gulls.] SK: Friggin' sea-rats! They never hunt, only scavenge. Jus' like the rest of the IIWF. No _one_ man has beat me! No _one_ has had the balls to walk like a man! [Kowalski chuckles as if someone just told him a joke.] Your champ... SKULLPUMPED! His cabana boy... SKULLPUMPED right next to him! _I_ have stacked body upon body! IT WILL NOT END! _Not_ until I get _my_ IC belt! I don't give a flyin' [BLEEP] how bad Shakespeare's hurt! Ya put him in the ring with me... and I'll put him outta his misery! [He stops to light up another cigar, takes a few puffs, then continues.] I know what all the other pricks in the IIWF are thinkin'. 'He just got a shot at Kauffman, now he wants a shot at [BLEEP]light?' Damn right! Ya didn't think Spreadbury was gonna let his little champion take me alone did ya? He woulda lost the belt if he was alone. That Mexican jumpin' bean was there to make sure I can't hold any gold in IIWF! Well [BLEEP] you, Danny Boy! I leveled your poster boys! But still, ya tryin' to protect Shakes! Who do I have to face?! "Painbringer"!?! [The Fury walks up right to the camera and blows smoke at it.] What do ya know about _pain_, Sexton? Nothin', probably. Ya haven't faced me yet. Don't worry, boy. I'll bring you some _pain_ and then ya can reflect on it when ya coughin' up blood. [Kowalski turns to the river once again. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Kowalski may have to add his name to the list of people who want a shot at Pukespeare right now. LM: Indeed. Opponents know Billy is hurt and they're circling like sharks. One thing is certain: someone will get a title shot against Billy Shakespeare at "Snow Brawl," and the IIWF Intercontinental Championship looks like easy pickings right now. But nothing will be easy when the Venusian Death Cell meets the Sandman with the new attitude tomorrow night. Tim Dross met with the VDC and again brought his... uh, special cocktail. BL: Cocktail. Now THERE is a word I love! [Cut to the Venusian Death Cell in the IIWF interview room with Tim Dross, who is holding a bottle of red fluid.] VDC: What the hell are you doing with that, Dross? TD: Oh...nothing. VDC: What is it? TD: Nothing... VDC: Tell me Dross, or I could get very annoyed... TD: OK, it's a bottle of drink. VDC: I can see that, but what exactly is it? TD: It's one of your favorites, I know that much. VDC: I only have one favorite, Dross, and I can't believe that you've got it in your hands. TD: Well, tell me what your favorite is and I'll tell you if it's what I'm holding. VDC: Dross, I'm a busy man. I don't have time to play your infantile games. Give it here... [The Cell grabs the bottle from Dross, pulls the cap clean off, smells it and then pours it down his throat.] VDC: Hmmmm. I'm impressed, Dross. TD: I thought you might be. That little game was worth it, wasn't it? VDC: No, but it sure was good to taste blood again. TD: That wasn't blood Cell. It was redcurrant cordial. VDC: Never heard of it. TD: [to the producer] It's not working. He's still as stubborn as ever. VDC: What did you just say, Tim? TD: Nothing, Cell. VDC: Please tell me, Tim. I'd really like to know. TD: [still to the producer] I think it just kicked in. VDC: What are you whispering about? TD: It's not important, but you have some important times ahead of you... VDC: Sure do, Tim. Namely the match against Sandman on Saturday Night. TD: Of course. Are you feeling confident? VDC: As confident as ever. I don't know much about him, but I'm certain I'll be able to beat him. He's got a win-loss record similar to mine, so it's also a match I have to win so I stay ahead of him in the rankings. TD: Glad to hear you're confident. VDC: Don't get me wrong, I have loads of respect for him, and he's got some pretty good moves, but I'll outpower him and get the three count. PRODUCER: Wrap it up, Tim, it was a much smaller dose than last week. TD: [to Cell] Let's hope so. Best of luck on Saturday, Cell. I'm told we don't have any more time left, so thanks a lot for the interview.. VDC: Hope we can do it again some time. [Cell shakes Tim's hand, almost breaking it -- but not intentionally.] TD: Thanks again, Cell. VDC: Pleasure. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio] BL: What's the penalty in England for poisoning someone? LM: I dunno, but it beats Tim's alternative. BL: The Cell would like to beat Tim's alternative. LM: And speaking of "beating," that's always on the mind of The Syndicate. Brian Lau permitted our camera crew to sit in on yesterday's board meeting: [SCENE: Mr. Kobiashi, Brian Lau, and Don McQueen sit at a table in a board room.] BL: Gentlemen, I hope you don't mind me allowing the reporters coming in to tape this meeting. I figure we can kill two birds with one stone. MK: This is acceptable, Mr. Lau. DM: Fine by me, as long as they don't attempt to socialize with us. BL: Well, there are several orders of business to take care of today. First, I'd like to address your concerns, Mr. Kobiashi. MK: Well, Brian, I am just worried that the task I've asked of you may not be getting the attention it deserves. BL: But Casey has done a very good job so far... MK: Yes, but I feel that he is preoccupied with other matters at the moment. BL: Mr. Kobiashi, Casey showed his dedication to our causes on Wednesday night when he mopped the mat with that Onslaught character. MK: Yes, but Onslaught is still active. Our deal was to have Starks _and_ Onslaught taken out completely. BL: Okay, I see your point. Well, Mr. Kobiashi, as an act of good faith on my part, I will have Tiger Claw face Onslaught on Saturday night -- completely free of charge to you. MK: Tiger Claw? BL: Well, of course. Tiger Claw taught Casey James every useful bit of knowledge Casey knows about hurting people. Tiger Claw is more than capable of taking someone out of action. Look at Billy Shakespeare. MK: He's still... BL: He's still active, yes, but he shouldn't be. Shakespeare is being overzealous, and he will pay the price in the weeks to come. I've seen men ignore injuries such as his in the past, and they always regretted it in the long run. Tiger Claw _will_ be able to take care of Onslaught for you. MK: I have faith in your word, Brian. BL: That means a lot to me. Now, there's some other business to attend to. Don McQueen, I'd like to congratulate you on the victory the Dark Disciples had on Wednesday against these G.W.R. fellows. DM: Thanks Brian, everything went down according to my plans. Y'know, soon the match-making committee is gonna have to put up some real challenges for my boys, instead of bringing up these retreads from the minor leagues. The Dark Disciples are real hungry, and giving them G.W.R. is like throwing the Christians to the lions. Kane and Wulf prefer their prey live and kicking... it adds to the thrill of the kill. BL: And Kane and Wulf will be facing Takezo Musashi and Shinja Chow this Saturday, correct? DM: Yes indeed, Brian, and I have been looking forward to this match for a long time now. That idiot Musashi has given me the opportunity for complete revenge by putting his career on the line. That's the problem with these wanna-be samurai, they always do something completely irrational to justify their outdated code of honor. Well now the "Enigma" has made a fatal error, and he will pay for that error with his blood and his career. After Saturday night, the last our dear Musashi will see of the IIWF will be the "Exit" sign. BL: This is good. I have some personal problems with Shinja Chow. The man will not leave me alone, and sticks his nose in my affairs every chance he gets. I have no love for Musashi, either. These two men are the two main reasons communications have broken down between myself and Hakiro Matsuoko. DM: Well Shinja Chow has been unable to resist poking his nose into every affair which does not concern him, and for that he must pay the price. Nothing that firestarting little freak can do could possibly aid the `Enigma' against the might of the Dark Disciples. In fact, I would not be surprised if two careers are ended on Saturday night. Takezo Musashi limping home via the exit ramp, and Shinja Chow being rushed to the ICU ward after Kane and Wulf crush every bone in his body! Yeah, that's what I would like to see. BL: This brings me to my last order of business. As of now, I have turned my back on Hakiro Matsuoko. I was really hoping that we could work something out and have the Cruiserweight Champion here in the ranks of the Syndicate, but it would seem that this is impossible. What I propose now is that Tiger Claw must face Hakiro Matsuoko for the Cruiserweight belt at Snow Brawl. I am going to get in contact with the championship committee and demand this. I am confident that I can accomplish having this match signed, as I am still legally Hakiro Matsuoko's manager. Hakiro, you had a chance to be protected, but you turned it down. You are now in our sights, and as you well know, that is not a good place to be. You can no longer expect us to help you out of whatever situation you have gotten yourself into. You are now an enemy to us. I'm finding this hard to say, but I'm afraid that it must be done. [Brian takes a sip of water.] With that said, we are looking at a new age for the Syndicate. No longer held back, trying to reconcile with Matsuoko. We are back to the days when our power was feared, when Tiger Claw fought against Matsuoko at Ring Wars. Gentlemen, we can only profit from these events. MK: I am glad. Profit is important to me. DM: That's right gentlemen, money is the meaning of life and I can see the big bucks flying our way in the near future. We've got the brains, the wrestlers and the talent to become the most profitable organization in wrestling. We've got it made! BL: Great. Well, I guess this meeting can be adjourned. Thank you, gentlemen, for meeting with me. Thank you, members of the camera crew, for coming to film this. You can now leave. Immediately. [The crew hurriedly collect themselves. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: What a matchup coming your way tomorrow night from Royal Albert Hall as Hiroshi and Ryudo of Rising Sun Revolution put their IIWF Tag Team belts on the line against the former champions, High Plains Drifters. BL: The Drifters are ready to be on top of the mountain again. I can just feel it. LM: You may be feeling the roast beast you had for lunch. BL: Feel THIS! LM: Urrrrff. Aaaaggghhh. BL: [smiling at the camera] Let's go to the tape and hear from The Drifters: [SCENE: "Outlaw" Josey Wales stands in the IIWF interview area. Pale and Easy Rider -- The High Plains Drifters -- pace behind him.] JW: I want to take a moment right now to talk to the fellas that call themselves the Rising Sun Revolution. You boys have built up an impressive little win streak for yourselves. Funny thing about streaks... they all come to an end. That's nothing to be ashamed of, especially when it comes at the hands of men as ruthless as my boys, Pale and Easy. PR: Rising Sun... We've been waiting a long time for a shot at you. We met once, nearly a year ago, but we weren't focused. And then you left and we hit our stride and wore those belts that you now have. Then you came back and weasled your way into the triangle match to win back the titles. But we've once again proven that we, like no other tag team, are the superior force in IIWF. We've been the number one contenders for more weeks than any other team. Now you are about to lose and go back into the scrap heap that is the IIWF Tag Team division, or as I like to call them... the losers that can't beat us! ER: Too much talk. Listen, Hiroshi and Ryudo, we're going to pull out your eyeballs and stick them down your pants so you can see us kick your asses! Then you'll feel what its like to be Unforgiven. I'm going to personally see to it that you can't walk out of that ring. YOU'RE GOING DOWN AND YOU'RE STAYING DOWN!!! JW: Ha, Jesus... even I'm afraid of him! As you can see I've lit a little fire under them. Rising Sun, the High Plains Drifters aren't just going to beat you on Saturday Night, they're going to humiliate you, embarrass you, cripple you. Do yourselves a favor -- call your doctors and tell them to meet you in the hospital... you're gonna need them. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: But... gasp... it isn't easy to intimidate the Dragon and the Demon, as Bulldog Brown learned earlier: [SCENE: Ryudo and Hiroshi are standing in Trafalgar Square, making an appearance for their English fans. Ryudo is dressed in casual jeans and a Ring Wars II souvenir shirt, while Hiroshi wears a tropical shirt, chinos and a baseball cap, and carries a large camera. He's feeding the pigeons. IIWF interviewer Bulldog Brown is at the scene.] BULLDOG: Ryudo! Can I get some comments? RYUDO: No problem, Bulldog. How are you liking the World Tour? BULLDOG: Not too bad. Didn't like France that much. [There's a yell from Hiroshi. A pigeon has landed on his shoulder.] RYUDO: [taken aback] Why? BULLDOG: Don't like their McDonald's. Do you know what they put on their french fries? Mayonnaise. RYUDO: Erm... BULLDOG: And do you know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese? A Royale with cheese. 'Cause of the metric system, apparently. RYUDO: Erm, Bulldog, you're not friends with Abie and Zed, are you? BULLDOG: I'm not too sure... Why? RYUDO: Just checking. I think they'd like you. BULLDOG: [trying to think] Anyways, you two. The High Plains Drifters, on Saturday night. Royal Albert Hall. RYUDO: Yeah, big venue, big match. We've fought Pale and Easy a couple of times before, and they've always given us a tough ride. On their best days, with Josey Wales behind them, they can be pretty much unstoppable. They've had some good wins lately, and you can bet that we're not going to be taking them lightly. They're probably the most experienced team in the IIWF at the moment. [There's another yell from Hiroshi. A pigeon has landed on his head.] BULLDOG: The Drifter's are on a roll at the moment, and they've still got a score to settle with you from Ring Wars II. RYUDO: I know. But we've trained hard, we've gone over our past matches with them, and the Dragon and the Demon just aren't ready or willing to give up our 100% record, and the belts, just yet. Pale, Easy, we'll see you in the ring. And Easy, I still haven't forgotten that chair shot. It's payback time. [The pigeon on Hiroshi's shoulder bites his ear, and he runs past Ryudo and Bulldog, yelling curses in Japanese, spilling a trail of crumbs. The pigeons fly after him.] RYUDO: What got into him? [Bulldog shrugs, and they both watch Hiroshi run off. The scene fades out. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Last weekend, The Armed Forces narrowly missed a chance at the title match with Rising Sun Revolution when they fell to The High Plains Drifters in Mexico City. Our Bulldog Brown is standing by with NavCom and DefCon to get their reaction. Bulldog? [SCENE: The Armed Forces' locker room. NavCom and DefCon stand in the back, angry after their loss to the High Plains Drifters. Bulldog Brown stands in front of the camera.] BB: Hello IIWF fans, I'm here with the Armed Forces, who just last Saturday night were defeated by the High Plains --- DC: Listen up! Pale, Easy, you guys did pin me just six days ago. But, tell me this... how did you do it? With a foreign object that came from outside the ring. That's just not fair. BB: Yes, well let me point out that the catch-as-catch-can style has always been one that you two have utilized yourselves. NC: Granted, we do utilize some creative rule management, but that was just cheating, plain and simple. Next subject. BB: General Kane's men running down to ringside and distracting you. Your thoughts? DC: G.W.R., don't think that just because you ran down and distracted me earlier that you're winning the war. I think we'll all recall that we were able to slip down to ringside in one of your recent matches; we all know how that turned out. BB: Okay, so you're out of the title picture for now, what's next for the Armed Forces? NC: December 21st. Live from an Air Force Base on the barren Alaska plains. Suddenly, the Armed Forces have some home field advantage. Think about this, Brown. Tens of thousands of military men on hand to watch their representatives -- because that's what we are, the US Armed Services' representatives to professional wrestling -- wrestle for the World Tag Team Championship. BB: But how do you even know that you'll be in the title match at Snow Brawl? DC: You don't worry about that, Brown. We'll be there. Count on it. [Aaron walks into the locker room about this time, looking at a clipboard and muttering to himself. He ignores Brown at first, then he comes over near his men.] NC: And besides, if were not, we'll still be in the IIWF Battle Royale, and we'll be targeting a couple of teams in there for sure. Namely Domination and a three letter team which will remain anonymous. But here's a hint. Their manager is a self-proclaimed general prima donna. [Aaron pats Nav and Def on the back.] BB: Okay, okay. I think we all know what you're poking at here. Let me point out, though, as now I see we've been joined by Aaron the Caddy, manager of the Armed Forces, that it seems that the relationship between you and Pain, Inc., may be on the rocks. Aaron? ATC: Let me tell you one thing, Brown. We had that big thug, Hades, there to protect us from any interference from G.W.R. [Aaron's voice becomes somewhat shaky and unassured.] He didn't quite get the job done. But, I'm sure that we'll be able to push past that and keep relations between us and Mr. Mic still on good standing. Right, guys? [NavCom mutters something under his breath. The microphone picks up something about "getting in the way." DefCon is silent.] ATC: See, they're obviously focusing on their next match. Things are fine here at camp. Trust me, Brown. BB: Well, certainly some dissention here between the Armed Forces and Pain, Inc., Aaron, any closing comments? ATC: General Kane, we've done a little digging into your background. We have found that you, in fact, were never named a general by any branch of the United States Armed Services. Which leads me to one of two conclusions: Either you're a phony, or you're a general from outside the country. NC: And we've all seen what happens when foreigners try to challenge the American Armed Forces. G.W.R, General Kane, you'll be bombarded too. Count on that. BB: Thank you gentlemen, NavCom, DefCon, the Armed Forces joining me, along with their manager, Aaron the Caddy. That's all for now, for "IIWF Saturday Night," I'm Bulldog Brown. [DefCon glares at the camera while NavCom and Aaron the Caddy begin an adamant discussion, apparently about Mr. Mic. The camera cuts away from the dissention and picks up a poster of The Armed Forces with the IIWF World Tag Team Titles. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: The Armed Forces and G.W.R. are destined to meet soon, and that contest could be a war... no pun intended. BL: No kidding. LM: But G.W.R. seems ready for anything the Forces can throw at them: [A picture of a stylized Q and S together appears on the screen. As the picture of a T.V. studio comes up, two panels of three men appear on the screen. The logo -- pictures courtesy of the BBC is prominent in the left hand corner of the screen.] DAVID COLEMAN: Tonight, see a first for a question of sport, as for the first time we have two wrestlers taking part. Jon is joined by both members of the tag team known as G.W.R. [Close up of Spoiler] Currently wrestling in both the FWLI and the IIWF, Loco and Spoiler are raising stars in the tag team divisions of both federations. [The picture cuts to later on. The logo remains.] SPOILER: That's Ryan Giggs. DAVID: Quite right. Now, as I said earlier, you're now wrestling in two federations, [Spoiler nods] do you think you can get away with this? SPOILER: Hope so. DAVID: Do you think you can deal with the demands of two federations? SPOILER: It's going to be tough. Both have great tag teams. But we're not ones to back down from challenges, and we think we can just about pull it off. The travel is a bit of a pain, but we can just about live with it. DAVID: Thanks. [The picture changes and "Steam" starts up over the pictures. Many fans are seen mobbing both Loco and Spoiler in some shop. The picture then changes to a shot of Spoiler, who appears to be refereeing a match. Then, Loco and Spoiler are running an assault course. There is a close up of Spoiler, who appears to be out of breath. Loco comes running into the shot a few seconds later. General Kane joins them.] GK: Just so the Armed Forces know this is a military training centre. Why are we here? Well, why not, it's as good a way of training as any. SP: Armed Forces, you got our attention. That's bad news for you. We're going to have to deal with you. So, we will. Watch your backs... and your fronts, guys. [he laughs] [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Ummm, did that make sense to you, Becky? BL: Sure. The Man of Steel is now directing our interview segments. Jeez, talk about stream of consciousness. LM: Speaking of consciousness, The Players' Club are very conscious of their record so far in the IIWF. They've had some problems with the front-office, but rumors persist about an injury that has hindered their early showings. Dynamite and Reyna say they're ready to go now: [SCENE: An office. Michael Reyna and Danny Dynamite are in suits sitting at a banquet table, with Sara Simpson in a formal pant suit. The GCW Global Tag Belts sit atop of the table, as lawyers bicker back and forth.] LAWYER1: Listen! MY MEN HAVE CONTRACTS! They are under contract to the IIWF, and they WILL wrestle!! LAWYER2: But, with the recent insubordination that your two clients have shown towards the executive committee in the IIWF, they will NOT be able to compete until further notice. MR: BULL[BLEEP]! LISTEN! You go back, and tell your brass and all the higher ups to KISS OUR ASSES! We WILL wrestle, and we WILL become IIWF tag team champions! DDD: That's right. As of right now, The Players Club IS in effect. Kauffman... don't forget your ties, bro. One for all, and all for the P.C. Remember that, Dan. Now, it's only a matter of time before we whip some ass. We already took exception to those two sideshow freaks that we walked out on -- The Alphabet Boys -- [BLEEP] them! Armed Forces, you wanna piece? Come get an ass whippin', and take it like MEN. Anybody else want us? We have OPEN contracts -- and WE"RE PISSED OFF. You can take THAT statement back to the prez, and whoever else's ass you kiss. LAWYER2: With that kind of attitude, you'll never... MR: NEVER? Listen, little man, we've been tag champs more times than you've probably been in bed with a woman. It all starts and ends with The Players Club -- Dynamite, Kauffman, and myself. Kauffman is the world champ, and we'll be by his side to watch his back NO MATTER WHAT. So, anybody wanna try and double cross us... YOU'LL GET BEAT! DDD: IIWF, get ready. Superstars, give your hearts to God... MR: Cause the P.C. is here..and your asses are OURS! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT PREVIEW ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: The IIWF World Tour takes us to Royal Albert Hall in London tomorrow night, and what a lineup we have in store for you: * PURE SCIENCE MATCH: Marty Warnett vs. Lord Byron * IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Rising Sun Revolution vs. High Plains Drifters * Dark Disciples vs. White Phoenix & "Enigma" Takezo Musashi * "Painbringer" Billy Sexton vs. Steve "The Fury" Kowalski * Creed vs. Cheshire * Deathbringer vs. "Superstar" Stud Stetson * Tiger Claw vs. Onslaught * Arabian Knights vs. The Players' Club * Venusian Death Cell vs. The Sandman LM: Be sure to join us for all the action! ************************************************************************** -------------------------- IIWF NEW BLOOD ----------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: As we told you at the top of the show, you can look forward to THREE new faces in the IIWF beginning this weekend. And what an eclectic mix this is -- a strange little man, a machine-like wrestler with corporate backing, and a seemingly down-and-out bum. BL: A bum? _You're_ finally getting in the ring, Larry? LM: [sarcastically] Ha ha. Very funny. Our first newcomer is a stranger who goes by the name of Cheshire. Let's learn a little bit more about him: [A mirror-maze, barely illuminated by an unseen light source. Funny fair music can be heard from the distance. A weird, high-pitched giggling, echoed by the labyrinth and making the mirrors tremble, nearly overstresses the microphone. Suddenly a mouth, floating in mid-air, appears out of nowhere, still laughing.] MOUTH: [suppressing a giggle] I've seen you fighting, John McClain -- hihihi -- and your performance can only be called pooooor, poor, poor, poor, poor, pooooor. [a pair of eyeballs appears above the mouth] So I said to myself "HEEEEY, it would be a child's play to massacre that nerd. [Now the whole body appears. He is a wiry but nevertheless muscular man with a gaunt face and a wicked, seemingly frozen grin. He has tousled blonde hair and wears colourful pantaloons and a green/red striped T-shirt.] If I may introduce myself, [he makes an elegant bow to the camera] I am Cheshire -- hehihi -- your personal nightmare, and you will be my first victim in my IIWF career. You will now probably ask yourself "Why MEEEE?!". Hehe, that's simple: it's because we two, you, John McClain the gambler and I, Cheshire the clown, share the passion for games with high stakes. And your stake -- gnhnhn -- just in case you'll accept my challenge and don't emigrate to Mexico to escape my untold wrath -- howhow -- well, your stake will be your health and sanity, 'cause whoever steps into the ring with ME, will be beaten up like no other man has ever been beaten up before. Ha, you are already a pathetic sight now, John -- hah -- but you'll be glad if you are still able to say "mama" or "gotta pee" without slobbering, when I am through with you. Hehihihihihiii! Now if you're man enough to face a clown, John, go ahead, and make sure you won't screw up your part of the show. [A long and shrill laughter shakes the camera. The mirrors explode,and Cheshire vanishes. Fade. The following statistics roll on the screen:] Cheshire ~~~~~~~~ Weight: 220lbs Height: 6'0" Origin: Germany Sparring Partner: Wooze the Clown [a cousin of Ooze the Clown, maybe you know him] Appearance: Cheshire has a gaunt face and a wiry build, blond, tousled hair and ice-blue eyes. He wears colorful pantaloons and a red-green striped T-shirt. He is constantly grinning and giggling. Theme Music: "Guilty" by Gravity Kills Orientation: heel Favorite Moves: 1. Backward kick 2. Jumping DDT 3. Frankensteiner from the top rope 4. Cartwheel kick 5. Standing/running somersault dropkick Finishing Move: "The Humorizer" is a submission move: When his opponent is prone, Cheshire sits down on his back, both legs stretched out in the direction of the victim's legs, forming a "V". He then takes both arms of his victim and bends them upward. Primary Attributes: 1. Endurance [he is extremely resistent to pain] 2. Technical 3. Aerial Profile: Chris Herforth is the son of a circus manager in Germany. His mother died at his birth, and his father was too busy to deal with his son's education alone, so the other acrobats shared his task. Over the years they taught him the most spectacular tricks each of them had to offer. Sithor the Snakeman trained him how to bend his joints further than normal people could imagine. Kaleb-ben-Sahne taught him how to raise his mind over his body to ignore hunger, thirst, extreme temperatures and pain. His father wanted his son to become an acrobat, a tightrope-walker or something like that, and he was proud of his son putting his highest expectations in the shade. Madness has somehow always been a part of Chris' personality so the role he fitted best was that of the acrobatic clown Cheshire. His breathtaking show included tightrope-walking, high diving and many other highly dangerous things. More than once his training sessions ended with an accident which resulted in a dislocated arm or a concussion. Another part of his turn was that he juggled nearly everything, even things the audience threw into the ring, like handbags, hats or full lemonade tubs. But eventually he went too far and the Tierschutzbund e.V. took him to court for juggling five kittens and a poodle [which of course came not from the audience]. So his career as an acrobat came to an end and he had to look for a new job for which his skills would be useful. This led him to show- wrestling, and after two successful years [two mediocre titles and the German Champion title] he heard of the IIWF and decided to try his luck there. [Handler: Christian Heckmann ] LM: Oh my god, a CLOWN! Nobody told me anything about him being a CLOWN! There's... there's... there's got to be something I can do. There's got to be something in my contract! I CAN'T WORK WITH A CLOWN! [Larry goes running from the set.] BL: Hehe, what's the big deal? I've been working with one for the past six months. Hehehe...snort. [she watches Larry run away] Looks like it's just us now, folks. Where were we? Oh yeah, the second newcomer. We received a memo with a request to post it for the wrestlers in the IIWF, so here goes: To: Members of the IIWF From: "The CEO" Jack Montgomery Re: The Dawn is Breaking After careful consideration, we at the Corporation have decided to utilize as many monosyllabic words as proper syntax permits, lest we confuse too many members of this federation. My name is Jack Montgomery and I suggest you learn it. You may, however, refer to me as "The CEO." We at the Corporation are both proud and pleased to announce our initial foray into the IIWF marketplace with a man destined to change not only this Federation, but perhaps this entire sport -- a man you may call Creed. Quite simply, Creed is a marvel of modern engineering, the perfect synthesis of athleticism and wrestling intelligence. At 275 pounds of brilliantly chiseled steel, Creed is the prototype for professional wrestling excellence into the next millennium. Creed is possessed with none of the frailties that so torment the men of the IIWF. He has none of the ego, the blind rage or the need for self gratification that characterize the so called IIWF stars. Creed is not motivated by money, hatred, hubris or spite. In fact, the weaknesses of others only fuel his tank, only make him strive further. Creed rises where others fall, succeeds where others refuse even to compete. Creed is possessed with only one objective - the win. So, we at the Corporation make this simple proposition. Creed offers to meet any man in the IIWF in a regulation match. Any man. Should Creed be defeated, he and the Corporation will leave the IIWF forever. Should he win, we become full members, with the rights and privileges thereof. Simple. You see, Creed lives by one simple motto, one phrase, one "creed: if you will that should become emblazened forever in your collective memory. It is the phrase heard every time Creed enters a ring, the only words you will hear him speak: Anyone. Anywhere. Anytime. [The following stats roll on the screen:] Creed ~~~~~ Height: 6'4" Weight: 275 Origin: Parts unknown Manager/Valet: "The CEO" Jack York Montgomery Appearance: Creed is of african-American descent. More African than American. He is black as night, black as coal, black as your worst nightmare. A powerfully built, muscular man [somewhere between. Davey Boy and Doug Furnas, say a Konnan 2000 body type], Creed cuts a formidable presence as he appears in almost entirely black ring attire. Black from his mouthguard to his boots -- save for a brilliant, blood red glove on his left hand. Woe betide the man who encounters the left hand of Creed. Theme Music: Creed enters with the lights out and his voice softly resonating, "Anyone. Anywhere. Anytime." Then, the 4th movement of Beethoven's ninth symphony begins. Signifying the entrance of Creed. Orientation: Neutral Five Favorite Moves: 1. Chokeslam [one handed -- left hand] 2. Running power slam 3. Spinwheel kick 4. Series of left hands 5. Elbow to the throat from second rope Finishing Move: Usually following a chokeslam, Creed carries or drags his fallen opponent to the corner, climbs to the top rope, lifts him high, and leaps.... A flying super powerbomb which Creed refers to as the "goodnight, farewell and amen" And when Creed buries his opponent in the middle of the ring, hooks a leg, gets his win and stands over the defeated, almost daring him to rise, it is goodnight, farewell, and amen. Primary Attributes: 1. Toughness 2. Intelligence 3. Strength Profile: A perfect meld of athleticism and wrestling knowledge, Creed is the textbook wrestler for the next millennium. Most opponents lose the battle as he hits the ring, 275 pounds of darkness. It isn't just his appearance, it is his soul. Creed is a machine. A wrestling automaton. Dean Malenko with Davey Boy Smith's body. Creed gives off a presence -- sort of like Bob Gibson, to use a baseball reference, he is pure intimidation. But Creed is not malevolent, only cold, calculating. Creed is about only the win. This win. And he will take it, one way or the other. Creed is a counterpuncher really, looking, probing for any sign of weakness. Injury. Fatigue. Hubris. Any slight fallibility will be whittled away at, exploited to its fullest potential. Creed is not an emotional man, not prone to highs and lows. He is instead, a man who knows one thing in all the world - his job is to leave the ring with his hand raised. Creed feeds on weakness as if it were his only nourishment in all the world. In fact, his only expression of emotion, of passion, of fire, can be found through his use of that gloved left hand. He keeps it in reserve, letting his right dominate throughout a match, until the moment, and there is a moment, when he senses that it is his time. Creed rears back and unloads with that left hand and then a series of left hands. Each one more explosive and devastating then the previous. Then the monstrous left-handed chokeslam. Then, as if the earth can no longer contain his fury, Creed reaches the top rope, launching himself and his victim high into the air and then deep into the mat with the super flying powerbomb. Goodnight. Farewell. Amen. [Handler: Joe Jividen ] [Cut back to Becky at the desk. Larry Morton can still be heard yelling in the background.] BL: I had hoped Larry would handle this last newcomer, but it looks like I'm stuck with the job. Y'know, you just don't come across too many people in the world with the name "Dirt Dog Unique Allah," so it should be easy to pick this guy out in a crowd... or a police lineup: [SCENE: A dirty, empty apartment. There is no furniture, just bare walls and a stained floor. Outside, the busy sounds of traffic and people shouting flood the scene. The apartment is dark and unpleasant looking. In the center of the floor sits a man in his underwear, a long gash running down the flat saucer of his dark-skinned stomach. His eyes are glassy, his jaw hangs open just a little too slackly. He looks sick, high or drunk. Maybe all three.] MAN: You know something, all you people out there? I don't know why the hell you wanted to come into the Dirt Dog's lair and see what I live like. I ain't got nothin'. Why you gotta broadcast that across the way? Huh? I don't like that at all. I don't like you at all, either. See, I've been tryin' out this wrasslin' game for one reason. I ain't in it like some of you other guys tryin' for fame, fortune and whatever. I'm just trying to feed my family... if I had one still. I don't know. I don't know where the hell my wife is. I ain't seen her in two weeks. Damn, snake-hearted woman. They all snake-hearted, ain't they? Well, IIWF, whatever that stands for, the Dirt Dog is comin' -- comin' gunnin' for all y'all. You see, I got bills to pay, I gotta make rent. And I ain't the kind to being slangin' no dope. Hell no. Why should I when I can beat people up like the muhfuhs they is. Hear me? This gon' be fun. Dirt Dog, when you see me run! Heheheheh! Hahahahahahaha! I'm the Dirt Dog you can't [BLEEP] with ME! [The following stats rolls on the screen:] Dirt Dog Unique Allah ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Height: 6'2" Weight: 238lbs Origin: Brooklyn, New York Manager/Valet: Medusa Rage Appearance: Low down and dirty. Unique looks like a man who never caught a break in his life. He is African-American, dark-skinned with yellowish eyes. His hair is a nappy afro and he sports gold fangs in his mouth. He wears a ragged pea coat, denim shorts and work boots to the ring. Medusa Rage is a handsome, striking six-foot, powerfully-built African-Caribbean woman. She has the angular features of an Angela Bassett. Theme Music: "Snakes" by Ol' Dirty Bastard Orientation: Neutral Favourite moves: 1. Sliding groin kick 2. Flying hurricana 3. Tilt-a-whirl suplex 4. Deadly Venom spray 5. Leg-lariat Finishing move: The Fatal Flying Guillotine -- Unique Stun Guns his man on the top rope, bounces off the far side and leapfrogs onto his man to clothesline them before backrolling him into a pin. Primary attributes: 1. Intelligence 2. Technical 3. Aerial Profile: Looks are deceiving. Unique Allah looks like a stumbling, bumbling, happy drunk. But is he? Could it be he's more than he seems? Is his "drunken technique" the newest, most innovative style in wrestling. Probably not. He's just a bum. [Handler: Derek Edwards ] [Cut back to Becky and a disgruntled Larry at the desk.] LM: I'm not happy about this! BL: Tell you what, Larry. I'll handle the interviews with Cheshire and you interview the "Dirt Dog." LM: It's a deal! [he composes himself] Now then, during the past couple of weeks we've been seeing one J.P. Steele at various IIWF events, hoping to earn a shot at a contract. The following tape was sent to our offices this week: [SCENE: A gym in Detroit. It is Saturday November 30th, in mid-afternoon. J.P. Steele is training with a sparring partner, when Annie Mack calls him over to the television set] AM: C'mon over here, J.P. It's that Stud Stetson.... [Stetson's interview on "IIWF Saturday Night" plays on the TV:] "There is another wrestler I would like to address here this fine evening and that is one J.P. Steele. You are hoping to make it here to the number one federation in the nation and you say that you have been watching it very closely lately. Well watch this [Stetson lifts up his middle finger to the camera]. Little boy, if you do get in, you will find out what the IIWF is all about because I am going to give you the beating of a lifetime. I am the next leader of the IIWF and you, along with the rest, will find that out." JPS: Heh heh. Stetson, oh you're REAL cool, you can stick your finger up. I could care less what you say or do. Because the second the IIWF lets me in the ring, I'm gonna kick your butt. You see, you may be more experienced, but I'm no stranger to the ring. Four high school state championships and three NCAA championships. Stetson, this rookie is for real. I've been all around the world in the past six months, winning titles and gaining knowledge. I've beaten the best... and I've also been beaten by the best. I've been everywhere from ICE to WAR, to TCW to, hey let's just put it this way: I've wrestled more in the past six months than most people do in two years. And I always make time to train in the gym. Stamina, agility. Everything. How many 6-foot-9, 294-pound men do you know that can go topside and land more aerial moves than you can only dream of? AM: Hey J.P., look at this! [Annie has turned on her laptop computer, and found the IIWF web site. Annie searches it before finding a application form. She and J.P. fill it in, and send it off] JPS: Well, there we go. Whether Prez Dan will let me in yet is to be decided. But even if he doesn't just yet, I'll still be watching. Always, always watching. Not a card will go by that I won't attend live or watch on television. Not a pay-per-view left unordered. Speaking of pay-per-views, this Snow Brawl looks awesome. Say, a lot of these IIWF wrestlers look familiar. Armed Forces, seen 'em. Robski, feuded with him. Randy Acorn, beat him twice, in under a minute both times. Jeez, this is a deep talent roster. Only one thing missing. [he smiles] My name on it. C'mon IIWF, where else will you find an exciting, hard-working, enthusiastic, rookie extremely interested. Heck, I'll wrestle in the dark matches if I have to! Just give me a chance, IIWF. I can really put on a show! I mean, hey I'm a rookie and unproven, but just give me one match to show my stuff. If you don't like it, bye-bye. Adios, I'll be out of your hair. But just let me try! IIWF is the best wrestling has to offer. I'll never know how good I can be if I never get the shot. Just one match! Against a jobber even! Just one chance at glory! Man... if I could say to a friend: "Hey, you know that IIWF? I wrestled for them once." To say that would be the greatest. Anyhow, I'm gonna shut up now. I got a plane to catch... to Mexico City. I got to get to my fifth-row center section seats at the Sombrero Dome! [he smiles] And I'm darn hungry. Maybe 10, 15 tacos will hit the spot. Annie, got the tickets? [Annie nods, and flashes two plane tickets and two tickets for the "IIWF Saturday Night" card in Mexico that she bought via mail order -- $10 per ticket handling charge. J.P. walks to the dressing room and changes into jeans and a IIWF sweatshirt. He flips on a new "IIWF Snow Brawl" cap. He and Annie walk out of the gym, and get into a blue convertible. They drive off. The camera goes to all static, then turns on. It is hours later, in mid-flight on a Southwest Airlines plane headed to Mexico City. Annie Mack is holding a camcorder, taping everything for the IIWF to see. J.P. opens a bag of peanuts, and devours it in two seconds flat. A flight attendant walks down the aisle and notices J.P. pushing the "service" button. She walks over, looking down at her order list] ATTENDANT: May I help you? JPS: Er, yes. Any chance I could get, oh, a dozen more peanut packages? ATTENDANT: Sure. [she laughs] I guess you must be hungry. [she looks up and gasps] My god.... you're.... you're J.P. Steele! That wrestler! Oh my kids love you! They've been following your career since you started. I usually let them watch IIWF before they go to sleep, and when they saw you on Saturday Night they nearly fell out of bed. It took me hours to calm them down. So, have you signed a contract with IIWF yet? JPS: Not yet ma'am. I'm trying awfully hard to. Hopefully before Snow Brawl. Well, seeing as your kids are fans, maybe I could sign an autograph? ATTENDANT: That'd be great. JPS: Here we go. [he pulls out a wrestling trading card with his likeness and signs it] There. Hope your kids like it! ATTENDANT: Thanks a lot Mr. Steele. Here are those packages of peanuts... [she hands him a dozen packages] [J.P. quickly begins scarfing them down] JPS: Mmmm. Thanks. Ufff....mmm. Bye. [attendant leaves]. Want one Annie? [Camera view shakes side to side] Ah, okay. Gotta keep that awesome figure huh? [smiles] [Camera again goes to all static. When it returns, it is hours later, just inside the Sombrero Dome. J.P. Steele and Annie Mack just have walked through the ticket lines, and are walking through the arena, trying to find the stairwell to their seats. J.P. sees a McDonald's stand and rushes over] JPS: They got McDonald's Annie. Wow, Taco Burgers! Burrito Shakes! Oh boy! AM: J.P., you just had that huge steak at the airport here but 30 minutes ago! JPS: Aw, who cares? I'm hungry. [he steps up first in line] Uh, I'd like 10 taco burgers, 2 extra value meals... the one with the supersized Big Mac and Fries and Large Coke, and um.... five orders of the six-piece Chicken McNuggets. That'll do it. [J.P. gets his food and sits down at a table. Annie watches for about 15 minutes, and by that time J.P. is done. All that remains is half of one taco, a handful of fries, the ice in his drink, and one McNugget.] JPS: Nothing like a small snack to tide you over. Hey Annie look! There's the ice cream,and cotton candy, and popcorn!!!! [Annie sighs, as J.P. grabs her by the hand and races off to get more food. The camcorder again goes to static. When it returns, J.P. and Annie are in their seats. J.P. is holding a program, and a foam "Dan Kauffman Number One" hand. He has Subway Psycho and Billy Shakespeare hands next to him, as well. The card has not yet started, but the crowd is packed. Mexican Hat Dance plays over the PA System, which gets J.P. frantic] JPS: ARGH! I left my Sombrero at home! Rats! Maybe they sell 'em at some souvenir shop in here. While I'm at it, maybe I'll get some Pizza.... AM: J.P. just sit down and relax. You don't want to be stuffed like a pig when you're on camera. JPS: Hey, is there any wonder WHY I train everyday. I'd be bigger than a blimp if I didn't. [he takes the camcorder from Annie, and holds it to his face. [EXTREME CLOSE-UP] Hey IIWF, don't forget. Fifth Row, center section A. I'm here, and so are you. Remember IIWF, I'm always watching. [Fade out as J.P.'s stomach growls and Annie gives a faint laugh. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: And we learned earlier that J.P. Steel will get his shot in a unique "Contract Match" against "The Real Deal" Luke Steele at "Snow Brawl on December 21st. There's only room for one Steele in the IIWF. BL: Maybe J.P. Steele should change his name to "The Masked Tapeworm." Sheesh, didja see that guy shovel away the chow? LM: I understand he is quite the wrestler though. He could be a great addition to the IIWF. BL: It will never happen. We'd have to restock the IIWF Cafeteria every day with that guy around. We may as well put Marlon Brando on the roster. I'm pulling for "The Real Deal." LM: Speaking of "The Real Deal" Luke Steele, let's meet him now: [SCENE: Downtown Buffalo, where a well built man dressed in black jeans and a tiger stripe vest is walking down the street. He turns and faces the camera, with a serious expression on his face. As he talks, a crowd begins to slowly form around him, listening.] LS: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to thank the IIWF for allowing me this little introduction time. My name is "The Real Deal" Luke Steele, and baby, I AM the Real Deal. I've travelled the world, wrestled in many different countries, and studied numerous styles of wrestling. I can adapt to all sorts of fighting, be it brawling, aerial, technical, or what have you. I have seen the superstars of wrestling before, but the IIWF caught my eye in particular. The best of the best is in there, and that's where I want to be. The list goes on and on: Dan Kauffman, Harlequin Tragedy, Billy Shakespeare, Tiger Claw, etc. Every one of these IIWF wrestlers has proven to be spectacular in the ring, and I am going to show you that I can be as good, or better. [A man in the surrounding crowd steps forward and challenges Steele to a match right there on the sidewalk. He's about the same size as Steele, but not quite as well built.] MAN: Hey pal, you don't look so tough. Hell, I could take you! Come on punk, or are you chicken? LS: Buddy, I'm not about to... [Steele blocks a right cross from the man, and holds him in a standing wristlock. The man struggles, and Steele throws him to the ground. The man hasn't had enough, and lunges at Steele again. Steele grabs him by the chest, then bodyslams him into a pile of garbage for a soft landing, although making his point.] LS: As I was saying, I'm not about to assault a guy on the street. I will however, keep him at bay. IIWF, here I come. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: We'll have more on these two Steeles as they approach their showdown at "Snow Brawl." ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan Kauffman F 22 16 4 2 80% (WC) WC Billy Shakespeare F 26 17 7 2 71% (IC) IC Hakiro Matsuoko N 25 14 10 1 58% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 23 18 3 2 86% (1) 1 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 18 14 4 0 78% (2) 2 The White Phoenix F 13 10 3 0 77% (4) 3 Lord Byron H 8 6 2 0 75% (5) 4 Stud Stetson H 5 3 1 1 75% (7) 5 Otto Verhoeven H 16 11 4 1 73% (3) 6 Subway Psycho F 22 14 6 2 70% (8) 7 Billy Sexton H 21 14 7 0 67% (9) 8 Steve Kowalski H 9 6 3 0 67% (10) 9 Onslaught F 8 5 3 0 63% (6) 10 Venusian Death Cell H 8 5 3 0 63% (11) 11 Marty Warnett F 23 14 9 0 61% (12) 12 The Sandman F 18 11 7 0 61% (13) 13 Casey James H 25 14 9 2 61% (15) 14 Harlequin Tragedy N 6 3 2 1 60% (18) 15 Bobby Lincoln H 5 3 2 0 60% (19) 16 Tiger Claw H 33 18 13 2 58% (14) 17 Mr. Damage H 18 9 9 0 50% (17) 18 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 16 6 8 2 43% (21) 19 John McClain F 6 1 5 0 17% (22) 20 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Brody Thunder H 5 4 0 1 100% (23) 21 Harlequin Chaos N 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 22= Mad Dog Watkins H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 22= Creed N - - - - - (-) 24= Cheshire H - - - - - (-) 24= Dirt Dog Unique Allah N - - - - - (-) 24= ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chris Quigley F 11 8 3 0 73% (-) - Vinny Cappicola F 12 5 4 3 56% (-) - Don Antonio F 20 10 10 0 50% (-) - The Hangman H 11 4 4 3 50% (-) - Legion F 15 7 8 0 47% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 9 9 0 0 100% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Domination F 6 4 1 1 80% (4) 1 High Plains Drifters H 21 15 5 1 75% (1) 2 The Dark Disciples H 4 3 1 0 75% (10) 3 The Arabian Knights H 12 8 4 0 67% (2) 4 The Armed Forces H 21 13 7 1 65% (5) 5 The Alphabet Boys F 13 7 4 2 64% (7) 6 GWR N 5 3 2 0 60% (9) 7 Pain Inc. H 12 7 5 0 58% (6) 8 The Zodiac Connection F 14 6 8 0 43% (8) 9 The Players' Club F 5 1 4 0 20% (11) 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Atomic Destroyers H 12 7 4 1 64% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ----------- COMING TUESDAY: "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH TIM DROSS ----------- ************************************************************************** LM: Be sure to catch up on all the IIWF news and rumors on "Inside the IIWF" with your host Tim Dross, coming your way Tuesday night along most of these same stations. Tim and Steve Roberts will call all the action tomorrow from London on "IIWF Saturday Night." Becky and I will be back with you next week for more news and interviews, so until then, this is Larry Morton for Becky LaRue saying... BL: NIGHTY-NIGHT! Hehe, take THAT, Tim Dross! [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle. Two maniacal-looking fans wield their souvenir "Dark Disciples Pitchforks" and begin arguing with a man wearing a Takezo Musashi ceremonial headpiece. The credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+