[Fade up on slow-motion red-tinted footage of the first meeting between Deathbringer and Dan Kauffman at Coronation Clash, subtitled "18 May, 1996." Kauffman makes his way down the aisle, hi-fiving the fans as he goes.] VO: Fear is not usually an emotion associated with a champion. [Kauffman jumps into the ring over the top rope. He walks up to Deathbringer and stares right into the big guy's pure red eyes.] VO: And Dan Kauffman has proven time and time again that he will take a back seat to nobody. [Deathbringer steps back, and grabs Kauffman by the neck. He chokeslams him.] VO: But that attitude has cost him dearly in the past. However, every time, Kauffman fights back. [Dan finally gets to his feet, runs against the ropes and nails Bringer with a double flying fist. Bringer is rocked, and leans against the ropes. Kauffman throws himself at Bringer with a cross-body block, and both go flying over the ropes. Cut to the closing moments of the match: Kauffman hits a victory roll on 'Bringer, who has his foot on the ropes, but the referee doesn't notice and makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] VO: When Dan Kauffman pinned Deathbringer at Coronation Clash, he started a vendetta that he cannot end. Their battles were legendary... [Cut to footage from the Texas Death Cage Match, subtitled "1 June 1996." Inside the steel cage, 'Bringer staggers backwards until he is on the ropes, then Kauffman whips him across the ring. He comes back at Kauffman and hits the Scythe, the vicious flying clothesline. Dan staggers to his feet, but is immediately put in a piledriver by the Deathbringer.] VO: Each man took his body to its limits... ['Bringer scoops up Kauffman and prepares him for a Tombstone piledriver, but Kauffman levers himself backwards, getting his feet on the top rope. He bounds up onto Deathbringer's shoulders, and performs a victory roll. Out of nowhere, he has the 'Bringer in a pinning predicament. Count - 1 - 2 - 3! But Deathbringer is on his feet before the referee even begins the count. Kauffman once again slugs it out with the big man, and stuns him sufficiently to perform a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on him.] VO: Each man had to reach deep within himself to find the means to defeat the other... and it seemed that the cold hand of Death had struck the final blow. [Cut to footage of the Deathmatch from Ring Wars, subtitled "29 June 1996." Kauffman knocks Deathbringer to the canvas with a clothesline, and climbs to the top rope, but Deathbringer suddenly sits up and stalks over to the corner.] VO: Kauffman's valiant efforts were thwarted at every turn... [Deathbringer shakes the ropes, and Kauffman falls into a vulnerable position, straddling the top turnbuckle. Deathbringer takes a few steps back, and charges in with a clothesline, knocking the stunned Dan out of the ring and all the way to the floor! The screen flashes.] VO: Is the mortal's quest to defeat Death a hopeless one? ['Bringer stalks Kauffman once more, and picks him up. He hoists Kauffman above his head in an impressive display of strength, then drops Kauffman throat-first across the steel crowd barriers. The screen flashes again.] VO: At Ring Wars, it seemed that way. [Deathbringer drags Kauffman to his feet and draws his hand across his throat. He whips him into the ropes. As Dan comes back off the ropes, Deathbringer hoists him above his head. Flash guns flare like crazy as Deathbringer presses Kauffman above his head in an astonishing display of power, then he drops him out of the ring straight to the arena floor. Deathbringer bounces against the ropes himself and launches himself out of the ring with a plancha dive, landing squarely on Kauffman. He goes for the cover - 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Cut to footage of Kauffman being stretchered from the ring.] VO: Kauffman's broken body may have been stretchered from the ring, but his spirit is harder to break. He returned to the IIWF, and his courage earned him the respect of Deathbringer, who went on to hold the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship. They formed an uneasy alliance. [Cut to footage of Kauffman and Deathbringer standing, arms raised in the ring together. The colour drains out of the image and it freezes.] VO: But when Kauffman managed to capture the World Championship for himself, that alliance went up in smoke. He was haunted by another spectre of death, the sinister Cadaver, and turned to the People's Champion, the Subway Psycho, for assistance. Kauffman believed that he could also count on the support of Deathbringer against this demon, but he was wrong... [Cut to footage of Dan Kauffman's championship victory over Otto Verhoeven, subtitled "9 November 1996." As Cadaver approaches the ring, the Psycho steps in front of Kauffman to protect the new champion from the sinister presence. At that moment, the lights in the arena drop totally. Moments later, the lights rise once more, and the familiar form of Deathbringer is seen standing in the ring between Kauffman and Cadaver. Huge pop! The original commentary is dubbed through:] SR: [shouting] What?! Where did that overgrown zombie spring up from?! The Coroner buried him! TD: I guess you just can't bury Deathbringer! He's going to confront Cadaver! The Brothers in Darkness are reunited once again! [The Psycho and Kauffman seem relieved to see Deathbringer, who keeps his gaze firmly on Cadaver as he climbs onto the apron and enters the ring. Cadaver and Deathbringer stand face to face once more. The crowd begin to stir with an excited buzz, anticipating the first blow. The stalemate goes on for a few more seconds, until, suddenly, Deathbringer and Cadaver together charge the Psycho and Kauffman and attack them! Massive heel pop!] TD: [shouting] No! No! SR: I can't believe it, Dross! [Cut to footage of Kauffman's match with Cadaver, subtitled "23 November 1996." Kauffman lies motionless in the ring, and Cadaver drags him to his feet once more. Picking him up as if he weighed nothing, Cadaver goes to the second turnbuckle, and hoists Kauffman into position for a piledriver. Deathbringer joins Cadaver in the corner, and the two men execute a spike piledriver on Kauffman! As Kauffman's head crashes into the canvas, the footage stops, and the colour once more drains from the image.] VO: Dan Kauffman had made a bid for immortality by winning the IIWF World Championship, but he was soon brought back in touch with the inevitability of his mortality by Deathbringer. Tonight, these two superstars meet one more time. [Cut to footage of Kauffman and Deathbringer's face to face interview, subtitled "18 December 1996." Kauffman speaks:] DK: I do not know that you are not my enemy. I do not know if you are my enemy. What I do know is that I must face you. That's all I need to know. [Deathbringer retorts:] DB: Do you think that you can defeat me without cheating? Do you think that you can defeat me without outside interference? Do you think that you can defeat me at all? [As the two men stand face to face in the ring, the footage freezes once more.] VO: Tonight, IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Dan Kauffman defends his title against the dark destroyer, Deathbringer. It's a battle for the ages, _live_ from Anchorage, Alaska... It's time for... [The opening graphics explode onto the screen as the intro music kicks in:] .---------------------------------------------------------------------. | From the revolutionary force in e-wrestling entertainment | `---------------------------------------------------------------------' ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### ## @@@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@ @@@@ @@@@ @@@ @@ @@ @@ @@@@@ @@@ @@ @@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@@ @@@@ @@@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@@@@@@ @@@@@ @@@ @@ @@ @@@ @@@@@@ @@@@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@ .---------------------------------------------------------------------. | LiVE + US Air Force Base, Alaska + Saturday 21 December 1996 + LiVE | `---------------------------------------------------------------------' [The opening graphics fade through to interior shots of the converted hangar at the Armstrong US Air Force Base. The capacity crowd cheer excitedly as fireworks erupt in the rafters of the arena, and the spotlights throw multicoloured beams all over the arena. The IIWF logo spins on the canvas of the centrally-positioned ring, and artificial snow drifts down from the roof of the arena. The shot pans down past row upon row of fans, coming to rest on the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure, at which stand Tim Dross, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts and Becky LaRue.] TD: Welcome everybody to the IIWF's latest and greatest pay-per-view spectacular! Welcome to beautiful Anchorage, Alaska! Welcome to IIWF Snow Brawl! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me are my broadcast colleagues, the beautiful Becky LaRue, and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. What a night of action we have in prospect tonight, folks. As you've already heard, our tremendous main event is a match with a real history. SR: History is right, Dross -- that's exactly what Dan Kauffman is going to be after Deathbringer is through with him. TD: We'll see about that, Steve. All the IIWF's championships will be up for grabs tonight: the IIWF World Tag Team Champions will defend in a triangle match against two former champion partnerships, the Armed Forces and Rising Sun Revolution. The Armed Forces will have a tremendous home advantage for that match, even though, in the interests of fairness, managers have been banned from ringside. BL: Even without Aaron the Caddy down here, the Armed Forces are more than capable of taking out Rising Damp Devolution, and they're still two victories up on the High Plains Drifters. TD: The Cruiserweight Championship will also be defended in a triangle match: champion Hakiro Matsuoko will face not only his former stablemate, the Syndicate's Tiger Claw, but he will also have to step into the ring with his hated enemy and former sparring partner, the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi. SR: This is two great rematches rolled into one, Dross. Matsuoko dropped the Intercontinental title to Tiger Claw at Ring Wars back in June, and he scored what some might call a controversial victory over the Enema at Ring Wars II in October. TD: There's certainly a lot of bad blood between these three individuals, and that match promises to be explosive. Don't you have any comment to add on that one, Becky? BL: About the runtweights? No fear. Bring on the big men, that's what I say. SR: Well, Becky, there's always me right next to you... BL: Like I said, bring on the big men. When I want a cripple, babe, I'll let you know. SR: [angry] Why, I oughtta... TD: [interrupting] Okay, you two, thanks very much. The injured Billy Shakespeare, complete with new bodyguard, the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder, steps back into the spotlight tonight after a lay-off recovering from injury to defend his Intercontinental Championship against "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, who has made all manner of badly-substantiated claims about a conspiracy to keep him out of the title picture here in the IIWF. SR: Badly-substantiated?! Give me a break, Dross! We've seen photos of Shakespeare paying off top IIWF officials, video footage that proves he was never really injured in the first place, and even seen evidence that Shakespeare tried to have Sexton killed! You call yourself a journalist, yet you ignore all that proof? TD: I'm not saying that Sexton is doctoring footage and photos himself, but somebody is trying to manipulate him, and I don't think it's Billy Shakespeare. While we're on the subject of Billy Sexton, I understand that he has yet to arrive at the Air Force base here. Let's go over to Larry Morton, who is in the locker room. [Cut to a split screen: on the left, the broadcasters' table; on the right, Larry Morton stands outside a closed door.] LM: Thanks, Tim. As you mentioned, Billy Sexton has yet to arrive here in Anchorage for his match with the Intercontinental Champion later on tonight. I understand that he was booked by the IIWF onto a private jet to fly him from his home in Wawa, Ontario, Canada last night, but the airport authorities at Ontario are refusing to release details of whether or not that aircraft left on schedule. I'm standing outside Sexton's locker room, and I'll try to keep you updated on this situation. Of course, Tim, this begs the question: what if Sexton fails to appear for action tonight? Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to a normal shot of the announcers' table.] TD: What if, indeed. It is my understanding that should a wrestler fail to appear for a contracted appearance, he is fined, and the IIWF Special Concerns Committee is given the authority to find another wrestler to take his place in his absence. However, I'm sure that this is just another of Sexton's mind games. BL: That wouldn't surprise me, Timmy. I have a feeling that this whole "conspiracy theory" was simply a way for Sexton to line himself up for a title shot, and he's playing it for all it's worth. SR: [sarcastic] Of course, you have intimate knowledge of the workings of the front office, don't you, Becky? BL: Well, as a matter of fact... TD: [interrupting] Okay, that's quite enough. Am I going to have to put up with this all night?! In addition to those tremendous title matches, we're also going to see the IIWF's first ever Lethal Lottery event: twelve randomly-determined partnerships do battle in six tag-team matches, with the winning pairs progressing to the final Battle Royal, the winner of which gets a shot at the IIWF World Champion, the runner-up getting a crack at the Intercontinental Champion, whomever they should be after tonight's action. "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley has received a bye into the battle royal, regardless of whether he is eliminated in the tag match stage, and to my mind, he's got to be the favourite. SR: You're kidding, Dross! It'll be a man like Steve Kowalski or Lord Byron who takes the World title shot. BL: I disagree. I think one of the big men, like Otto Verhoeven or the Hangman, stands the best chance of wiping out all the little runts and taking the title shot. TD: Well, we're going to find out over the course of the evening! In fact, it's time for our opening encounter. The unlikely partnership of the Subway Psycho and Mad Dog Watkins faces Mr. Damage and Harlequin Chaos in the first Lethal Lottery tag match. Let's go up to the ring! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LETHAL LOTTERY TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Mr. Damage & Harlequin Chaos vs. Subway Psycho & Mad Dog Watkins ------------------------------------------------------- TD: This promises to be an interesting match. Damage and Chaos shouldn't have too many chemistry problems, something the Subway Psycho and Mad Dog Watkins may experience in this match. Then there's the stuffing that was knocked... SR: [interrupting] The Psycho was _slaughered_, Dross! TD: ...that was knocked out of the Subway Psycho just a week ago by Otto Verhoeven and his fellow thugs... SR: That "Savagesault" was pure beauty! TD: It was anything _but_ beautiful. Who knows what kind of condition the Psycho will be in here tonight? Watkins may have to carry the Psycho on his back! BL: Watkins is actually quite capable of that feat, but not with both Damage _and_ Chaos on his heels. The Psycho will see his chances at a World Title shot smashed here! SR: I hope Chaos and Damage smash more than just the Psycho's World Title shot. I just wish Watkins could still advance with a loss... TD: Up to the jovial Sparkplug Lee for the introductions to this match! BL: [aside] Where _does_ he get those ridiculous outfits from? SR: [aside] From Dross' wardrobe, of course. [The cameras cut up to the ring, where Sparkplug Lee and his "holiday season" attire glows with effervescence. "SPARKPLUG LEE RULES!" exclaims one ringside sign.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is set for one fall, and is a Lethal Lottery Tag Match. [Small pop from the crowd!] Introducing first... at a combined weight of 570 pounds... accompainied to the ring by Harlequin Melody, the team of Mr. Damage and Harlequin Chaos! [There is a mediocre heel pop as the mammoth Harlequin Chaos appears at the head of the aisle, accompanied by Harlequin Melody. Mr. Damage makes up the rear with an lack of expression on his face. The three approach the ring.] SR: Boy, Mr. Damage's cold stare is scary. He's all business here tonight, and when you have a big guy like Chaos, you have a team with quite a bit of potential. BL: Ooh, we don't often get to hear you analyse the match, Steve. I could get used to it... save for the fact that you sound _way_ too professional for it to work. TD: Guys, if we could focus on the match... SR: Hey Dross, your toupee seems to be a little off-centre tonight... TD: [sighs] I'll agree that Damage and Chaos make a formidable team, but Watkins is an impressive force, and you know how bad the Subway Psycho wants to get that World Title shot... This match is far from a gimme. BL: Actually Steve, Tim's toupee is a little more than just off-centre... ["Crazy Train" starts up, sending the crowd into a frenzy of cheers as Lee raises his microphone again:] RA: And their opponents... At a combined weight of 524 pounds, here are Mad Dog watkins and the Subway Psycho! [The massive face pop turns into a mixture of cheers for the Psycho and a mix of boos and cheers for Mad Dog Watkins. Psycho appears at the front, a good 15 steps in front of Watkins, who has a focused look on his face. The Psycho gets to the ring first, and both Chaos and Damage start going to work immediately on the Psycho!] TD: Hey, Chaos and Damage are laying into the Psycho! SR and BL: This is wonderful! TD: This is terrible! The Psycho can't possibly withstand this! [Chaos and Damage pound away with right hands, and the Psycho starts retaliating with his own! Pop! The Psycho attempts a clothesline on Chaos, but Chaos ducks and on the rebound, Damage catches Psycho with a spike slam! Big heel pop! Chaos starts choking away on the Psycho as Damage kicks his midsection...] SR: Say "so long" to the Psycho in this match, and say "hello" to a handicapped match! Watkins can't possibly match _both_ Chaos and Damage... TD: We'll see... Here comes one mad Mad Dog! [Watkins watches the initial attack from outside, but charges the ring and slides under the ropes as Damage lays in more stomps. Watkins sends Damage flying outside the ring with a huge clothesline from behind! The crowd gives Watkins a solid pop! Chaos, having seen Damage fly to the outside, starts to mix it up with the Mad Dog, and finds himself on his knees after an inverted atomic drop! Watkins uses the ropes and hits the kneeling Chaos with a flying dropkick, sending Chaos crashing down. Chaos rolls outside the ring, and the crowd cheers Watkins on as he motions both Chaos and Damage back into the ring.] TD: Psycho was very lucky that Watkins made the save when he did, but I don't think the Psycho is fit to wrestle, certainly not after that attack! SR: And Watkins can only hold off Chaos and Damage for so long... This could turn ugly, and I wouldn't mind at all. BL: I love watching the Psycho squirm. [Watkins goes over and helps the Psycho to his feet, and helps the subway dweller over to the corner. Meanwhile, while Watkins' back is turned, Damage slides in the ring, and catches Watkins from behind with a reverse DDT! Big heel pop! Damage taunts the hurt Psycho in the corner before lifting Watkins up and sending him back down hard with a back suplex! Heel pop! Watkins is quick to get up, and Damage runs off the ropes, trying a cross-body block on the return.] SR: Oh no! Get out of there, Damage! TD: That wasn't what Damage had in mind, and now he's at the mercy of the Mad Dog! [Damage, having found himself caught in Watkin's arms, tries to reach out and tag Chaos, but Chaos is busy talking to Harlequin Melody on the outside, and Damage is dumped over Watkins' head in a fallaway slam! Big pop! Chaos, who is lucky enough to see the move, charges into the ring and attempts to attack Watkins from behind, but the Psycho blazes into the ring and sends him crashing with a flying forearm smash! The fans go crazy as the Psycho heads back to the corner, and Chaos lays in a daze in his own corner.] BL: Excuse me for asking, but exactly where did the Psycho get the energy to do that? TD: He's got a lot of fight in him, Becky. He's not just going to sit in the corner and watch this match, he wants in that Battle Royal for a shot at the Champion! [Watkins nods at the Psycho, then drags a slowly-reviving Damage to his feet. Damage rakes Watkins' eyes, and Watkins stumbles backwards into the enemy corner, where Chaos starts pounding away at free will! Damage goes over and waffles the Psycho with a forearm shot, sending the Psycho crashing to the mat in pain! Huge heel Pop! Damage lines up Watkins in the corner, and gets a head of steam... but the splash attempt is avoided by Watkins, and Damage, aside from hitting the buckles hard, smashes Chaos with his knee, sending Chaos flying off the apron and into the steel barricades! Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! This match may have just become a one-on-one! The Psycho is laying on the outside, but Chaos is woozy on the outside as well! BL: I guarantee you that Chaos will recover, and he'll be good and mad when he does... then Watkins will be in serious trouble! [Indeed, Chaos is furious, and despite the pleas with Harlequin Melody, charges into the ring! Damage, with a slight limp, heads over towards the dazed Mad Dog, but Chaos spins Damage around and lays him flat with a chokeslam! Confused pop! Chaos goes berzerk on Damage, sending punches left and right into Damage! Watkins staggers back into his corner, where the Psycho has managed to climb back up, and watches as Chaos leaves the ring and heads down the aisleway, the pleas of Melody unheeded.] SR: What the hell?! Chaos just ruined his own chances of gaining a World Title shot! TD: And he may have ruined Damage's chances as well! This is incredible! What must be going through the mind of Damage right now? [Damage recovers and regains his footing, and watches Chaos and Melody leave the ringside area. Watkins doesn't let Damage rest long, and he offers up a headbutt and some stinging chops! Damage staggers into the corner, and Watkins attempts a splash of his own, but Damage gets his knees up, and Watkins crashes down to the canvas! Heel pop! The Psycho watches on intently as Damage drops an elbow down! The cover - 1 - kickout! Watkins simply shakes his head before Damage drags him to his feet and whips him off the ropes... Damage ducks for a back body drop, but Watkins catches him and executes a leaping piledriver! Huge pop! Damage lays in a heap in the ring, and the Mad Dog makes a cutthroat gesture to the crowd!] SR: This could be the end of the road right here. Shame. I wanted to see the Psycho stretchered out. TD: Say what you will, but this has been an impressive display by the wily veteran, Mad Dog Watkins. This guy has a great future here in the IIWF. BL: If only Chaos hadn't abandoned Damage... [Watkins brings Damage to his feet, and plants him with a huge powerbomb! Big crowd pop! The referee makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Watkins stands in the ring with a satisfied look as Damage rolls out of the ring and tries to hobble back up the aisleway.] TD: Well, that was the end of this match, and the Mad Dog has a good chance at winning that Battle Royal later here tonight! BL: It's a crying shame that Chaos left Damage for a little miscommunication... There's no way Watkins could have taken them both, but Damage couldn't withstand the Mad Dog's attack. SR: Okay Watkins, now let's smack the tar out of the Psycho for good measure! [Watkins simply nods at the Psycho before leaving the ringside area to quite a few cheers! The Subway Psycho follows behind at a distance, slapping fives with the fans, and both men disappear out of sight back into the locker room area.] TD: What a shame, Steve. It seems that those two men were a more effective partnership than we might at first have imagined. However, you can bet that there won't be any traces of that cameraderie when they clash in that battle royal later on tonight! SR: Then we _will_ see the Psycho stretchered out. TD: I don't know about that, Steve. Up next, we have a highly intriguing match -- Lord Byron teams with Harlequin Tragedy to face the Venusian Death Cell and Onslaught. Neither of these teams much cares for their own partners, and the match could come down to which team works better... SR: Or which team will work at all, for that matter... TD: That's a valid point. Well, let's get this one underway, so we head down once more to Sparkplug Lee... =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LETHAL LOTTERY TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Lord Byron & Harlequin Tragedy vs. Venusian Death Cell & Onslaught ------------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug is talking to a few of his fans out by ringside.] RA: You guys think I should have gone with the polka-dot green bow-tie? Or the yellow and brown striped beauty? [Lee notices the camera fixed on him, smiles a bashful smile, and raises his microphone.] RA: *ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest, set for one fall, is a Lethal Lottery tag team match, with the winners moving on to the Battle Royal later on here at Snow Brawl! Introducing first, accompanied by Lady DeWinter and Harlequin Comedy, at a combined weight of 495 pounds, the team of Harlequin Tragedy and Lord Byron! [Byron appears first at the head of the aisle, and the crowd gives him the Alaskan version of a Bronx Cheer. Harlequin Tragedy isn't far behind, but it's clear that neither Byron nor Tragedy is comfortable teaming up, and they keep their distance... Lady DeWinter walks with Byron and Comedy walks with Tragedy.] TD: Well, there you have it. Can Byron and Tragedy put aside their differences and work as a team? BL: I'm sure Lord Byron can put his past behind him... he knows that the shot at a World Title can only be won by advancing to the Battle Royal, and he won't put that chance at risk. SR: And I have serious doubts that the VDC and Onslaught will work as a team at all... [The camera cuts back to Sparkplug as Byron and Tragedy await in the ring, keeping their distance from one another.] SL: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 539 pounds, the team of the Venusian Death Cell and Onslaught! [The VDC comes out first, as if shot from a cannon! He's furious! Onslaught follows behind, and the two are already in an argument. VDC gets in Onslaught's face, and Onslaught bypasses the big Cell and storms the ring. VDC lumbers quickly behind.] TD: Oh boy, these two don't look happy... SR: I don't think it matters, 'cause the match has already begun! Onslaught is taking it to Tragedy, and here comes the Cell! BL: Byron is waiting... this could turn ugly... [Sparkplug Lee dives out of the ring, just escaping with his clothing as Tragedy and Comedy wheel each other into a corner and start slugging away! Pop! VDC slides in the ring, and Byron pounces on him quick with a crossface to keep the big man on the canvas. VDC has too much power, and lifts up Byron on his back before dropping back and crushing Byron underneath! Pop! The whole ring shakes as Byron rolls around in pain... And Tragedy is able to backdrop Onslaught outside to the floor!] TD: Don't blink, folks... You'll miss the entire match if you do! SR: This isn't good for Tragedy. You don't want to get in the face of that lunatic, the Venusian Death Cell. BL: "Lunatic" doesn't even _begin_ to cut it! [Byron slowly rolls to his corner, and Onslaught goes to his as the VDC throws Tragedy into a neutral corner and stalks in. Tragedy rockets out with a back spin kick that rocks the Cell! Tragedy runs off the ropes, and does a somersault splash into the upright VDC, knocking him over! Big pop! Tragedy kips up to his feet, and climbs to the top, hitting the now-upright VDC with a flying cross-body block! Pop! 1 - 2 - kickout! The force of the kickout sends Tragedy flying to the side of the ring, and the VDC slowly gets up. Tragedy rolls to the apron and pulls himself up, then uses the top rope to springboard into another cross-body! But VDC catches him and slams him down hard!] TD: Went to the top too many times... and a vicious elbow drop from the Cell! BL: The Cell still needs to make the tag. [The VDC tags in Onslaught while Onslaught isn't looking. Onslaught is not happy at all, and shoves the VDC backwards! The Cell glares at Onslaught for a second, but steps to the apron and Onslaught enters the ring. Tragedy was waiting, and uses a Japanese armdrag to send Onslaught flying, before tagging out himself to a willing Byron...] TD: I think Byron and Tragedy have the better teamwork here, and that will help them a lot later on. [Byron steps smugly into the ring, and Onslaught immediately hits him with a thrust kick right on the jaw! Byron staggers around, but doesn't fall, and Onslaught then tries a hurricanrana. Byron is one step ahead, and turns it into a quick Tigerbomb! Pop! The cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Onslaught is still groggy as Byron tags Tragedy, who climbs to the top and drops a leg down on Onslaught! Pop! Cover - 1 - 2 - another kickout! Tragedy runs off the ropes, but the somersault splash misses its mark as Onslaught rolls out of the way. Onslaught kips up to his feet, then looks in the corner, where the VDC is shouting at a few fans. Onslaught shakes his head and brings Tragedy up for a Northern Lights Suplex! 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: Whew! That was close, but I don't think Onslaught wants to tag back in the VDC! That could cost him later! BL: That _will_ cost him later, but Onslaught has Tragedy reeling! [Onslaught brings Tragedy back to his feet, then runs off the ropes, where Lady DeWinter apruptly hooks his ankle! Onslaught turns and points at DeWinter, and Byron heads over and whacks Onslaught with an uppercut! Onslaught tumbles back, and Tragedy catches him with a German Suplex! Onslaught doesn't make the pin, but tags out to Byron as the VDC argues with the ref. As a result, the official doesn't see Byron use the ropes to send Onslaught crashing down throat-first onto them! Onslaught falls back clutching his throat.] TD: That was blatant cheating by Byron, but it's also good teamwork, and the Cell has the referee occupied! SR: Byron's a genius! He has a weakened Onslaught who's reluctant to tag out, and now he's going to tear him apart limb from limb! BL: And if there's a guy who can do that, it's Lord Byron! [Byron spins Onslaught over and applies a devastating STF! Onslaught grimaces in pain, but refuses to submit as the Death Cell cheers Onslaught on! The crowd seems to get behind Onslaught, and he slides his way to the ropes, forcing the five count. Byron drags Onslaught up and whips him off the ropes, but Byron sets too early and Onslaught leapfrogs over and nails a bulldog on the return! Both men lie exhausted in the centre of the ring!] TD: It may come down to who can make a tag right here... Wait a minute... What's Tragedy doing? SR: He's got the Death Cell occupied on the outside! They're going to work out there! [Tragedy teams up with Comedy to take the Cell into the steel steps, and the Cell collapses after the impact, drawing a few gasps from the fans! Meanwhile, Onslaught has gotten to his corner, but has noone to tag to! Onslaught looks around for his partner, then sees the Death Cell laid out on the outside! Before he can do anything, Byron gets back up and catches him from behind with a swinging neckbreaker! Heel pop! Tragedy climbs back to the apron as Byron applies the deadly Aristoclutch onto Onslaught! Onslaught tries in vain to hang on, but simply can't withstand the pain, and submits! Ding! Ding! Ding! Tragedy quickly hops off the apron and heads to the back without acknowledging Byron, and Comedy follows behind. Byron stands in the ring with Lady DeWinter, seemingly satisfied.] TD: Well, this was a case of two enemies realizing what had to be done to get to the Battle Royal, and carrying it out. The Cell and Onslaught didn't want to wrestle together, and now the Cell is out cold while Onslaught is just now recovering from the Aristoclutch... BL: It was everything I expected. Lord Byron is on a mission, and he will be a factor in that battle royal later tonight! SR: The Cell still looks to be out cold! That was one hell of a shot he took! [Onslaught walks furiously back to the dressing rooms as medical personnel check out the Venusian Death Cell.] TD: Before we get back up to the ring for our next Lethal Lottery match, let's hear from some of its participants. Starting the ball rolling is the unorthodox Dirt Dog Unique Allah, who doesn't seem too happy at the prospect of tagging with Cheshire: [Cut to pretaped footage of Dirt Dog pacing around his dressing room throwing things. Medusa Rage sits quietly in the corner, reading magazines and doing crosswords. She stifles a yawn as the Dirt Dog continues his tantrum.] DD: I don't like cats! I hate 'em! That crazy cat laughs too much! Why I gotta have a partner, man? I thought I was a solo act, you know? I thought I was all for me. You know what I mean? I mean I'm a grown damn man! How the hell am I supposed to be working with some crazy cat creature? You know? That's just nuts. I don't wanna tag with nobody. Nobody who laugh like that! He just crazy, man. He just crazy. MR: Those are the pairings, Unique. We can't do anything about it. If we win, though, then there isn't much to worry about. The pairing is done. DD: For real? All I gotta do is win? Well, hell, that's easy. Hmmph. [Unique starts to cackle insanely.] You know, I still can't get over the sight of that Tiger Claw running around crying tears a' liquor! How the hell can they tell me I got disqualified? Huh? I mean I seen enough rasslin' on TV to know that's legal! They don't fight people for that! I mean ... really ... what! What? That's just mess, knowwhutI'msayin', that's just low down dirty stuff for that bastard to win! Why everybody tryin' to give me grief? Why me? I been good and they throwin' me in against the best. MR: You've handled yourself well. DD: Yeah, I got to prove to them all that you can't keep the Dirt Dog down. I got dreams for ya. I gotta get my wife back. You ain't seen her down at the liquor store, have ya? Lord I miss that girl. Course that don' mean I can't get next to you for a minute, does it, girl? MR: Guaranteed, Unique. Guaranteed it does. DD: That don't make me happy. MR: Well, if you win for me I might make you happy. DD: Girl, don't mess with my head on some stuff like that! Brown sugar, you want me to win, I'll murder everybody, you sexy muhfuh! Goddamn what's the recipe, girl? You ain't need no seasonin's at all. I bet you got all yo own natural spices, don'tcha? Rufff! I say yeah! Man, did I ever tell you about that dream I had last night? Girl, you was jingling, baby. Butt naked servin' me whip cream and strawberries! YEAHHH!!!! MR: Snow Brawl first, Unique. DD: Snow Brawl, done deal, girl. Then I can get a rap? [Medusa shrugs.] DD: That's good enough for me. I miss Shakeemah, though. Can't you take away the pain? [grinning] Can't fault a nuh for tryin' you know. Aw, damn, I gotta go. I'm about to embarrass myself. Excuse me. Cut them cameras off! [Dirt Dog covers his crotch as he runs away. Medusa hasn't even looked up from her magazine. Cut back to ringside.] TD: Dirt Dog certainly is one unique individual. Larry Morton has been trying to get words from Chris Quigley over the course of the evening. Any success, Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton standing outside a closed locker room door.] LM: I'm afraid not, Tim. Quigley has refused to give any interviews whatsoever this evening. All I can imagine is that he believes that his actions will speak louder than his words. Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: It's hard to pick a winner in this one. On one hand you've got the unpredictability of Cheshire and Unique Allah, and on the other hand, you've got the technical ability of Chris Quigley and the toughness of The Hangman. BL: Toughness? Does he measure up to the toughness of the Bobby Lincoln brand condoms? SR: Nothing could be that tough... They're guaranteed not to break, no matter what the orifice! BL: I understnd they come with the Todd Franklin seal of approval. Hehehehe... snort! TD: Please, you two. You know we're not supposed to mention them on air. Let's get up to the ring for this match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LETHAL LOTTERY TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Hangman & "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah & Cheshire ------------------------------------------------------- RA: Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for another match in the Lethal Lottery series! [The crowd pops, and Sparkplug Lee strikes a pose.] RA: Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Medusa, the team of Cheshire and Dirt Dog Unique Allah! [Cheshire and Allah come down to the ring to a mixed pop. Cheshire executes a few flik-flaks down the aisle, but Allah pushes him aside and drunkenly shakes his booty for the crowd. Cheshire steps in and argues with Allah, and the two engage in a war of words. Finally, they both step into the ring, continuing their argument.] TD: It would look as though Cheshire and the Dirt Dog don't get along all that well. SR: Could you get along well with a drunk? BL: Depends on the drunk, I guess. TD: This definitely won't bode well for this team in the ring... Wait a minute. Marty Warnett is coming down the aisle! [Warnett ignores the cheers of the fans, and goes straight for the ring microphone, held by Sparkplug. Warnett grabs the mic.] MW: Hey, Dog Dirt... I apologise for being unable to meet and beat you on your debut. I was so-so-so interested in your comments that I'd be taking money from you. Heck, no, you'd have got the loser's purse. But if you want to gain some quick cash, so you can get yourself a higher grade hangover, I have a gift for you. [Marty reaches down into his jeans pocket, and produces a set of keys, with a plastic phallic symbol keyfob. He then throws them at Dirt Dog.] MW: Go out to the car park, check out the Red Corvette, STUD 3. It's all yours, sell it, entertain Medusa, whatever. [Warnett then returns backstage to a huge pop, while Unique shrugs and passes the keys to Medusa.] SR: What!? No!! Unique will end up puking all over that fine leather interior! BL: Reminds me of a time... TD: [interrupting] The mind games between Warnett and Stetson continue! They will be on opposing sides later on tonight, and you can just bet that this little incident is going to heat Stetson up even more! RA: Their opponents, accompanied to the ring by the Hangmen, the team of "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley and The Hangman! [Three men in executioners' hoods and Chris Quigley walk down the aisle. Most of the crowd is behind Quigley, but quite a few boos for the Hangmen can still be heard. All four men enter the ring.] TD: All those Hangmen look alike! How do we know which one is which? SR: It's all a cunning plan on the part of the Hangmen, I can assure you that... BL: Cunning... Hee hee. [The ref argues with the Hangmen, who try and intimidate him. The ref stands strong, and boldly thrusts his arm out, pointing outside of the ring. Two of the Hangmen leave the ring, and the ref seems satisfied. The entire time, Allah and Cheshire seem to argue about who starts off the match. Quigley and the Hangman both look on, somewhat amused, until Allah pushes Cheshire and attacks Quigley. The bell rings, and Cheshire and the Hangman exit the ring. Allah kicks Quigley in the nether regions, then locks on a headlock. A choking sound is heard from Quigley, and Allah can be heard saying, "The cat don't like the butter, gunna get spread!"] SR: What the hell was that supposed to mean? TD: I have no idea... BL: I've decided not to try and interpret this guy's rantings. [Quigley thows Allah into the opes, and tries for a dropkick, but Allah moves out of the way. Quigley hits the mat, and Allah drags him up and locks on another headlock. He pulls Quigley over to the corner and tags in Cheshire. Quigley throws Allah against the ropes, oblivious to the tag made by Allah, and Cheshire gets on all fours behind Quigley's legs. Allah hits with a dropkick, which sends Quigley spilling over Cheshire. Allah leaves the ring, and Cheshire flows into a few cartwheels. Quigley gets up, holding his head after hitting it on the mat. Cheshire holds out his hand to Quigley, who looks to the crowd. The crowd yells "NO!" Cheshire lashes out with a kick while Quigley is distracted, and throws him into the ropes. Cheshire leaps into a handstand, and then launches himself feet first into Quigley. Quigley hits the mat, rolls over to his corner, and tags in the Hangman.] SR: Here it comes, baby! The Hangman has been touring Europe for some time now... It's nice to see his brand of brutality back in the IIWF! TD: You know, Steve, there are several good therapists in the States that specialize in your problem... BL: Quit it, Dross... I wouldn't mind seeing an old fashioned beating either... [The Hangman enters the ring, and draws a thumb over his throat, pointing at Cheshire. Cheshire does a jig, and then giggles like a madman. The two lock up, and the Hangman easily gets the advantage. He picks Cheshire up in a powerpomb, and plants him hard into the canvas. Hangman gets up and showboats to the crowd, then turns around to see Chashire kip up and do a jig again, giggling even more insanely than before. Hangman gets angry, and charges Cheshire, who sweeps out Hangman's legs. Hangman goes down, and Cheshire drops a mean elbow on the back of his head. The crowd pops, and Cheshire drags the Hangman up again. Cheshire executes a standing hurricarana, and puts Hangman into a pinning predicament. The ref counts... 1 - 2 - Kickout by Hangman. Hangman rolls out of the ring, and Cheshire retreats to his own corner, where Allah babbles at him. Hangman goes to converse with his fellow Hangmen, and they move around, confusing most at ringside. Hangman enters the ring again, unusually fresh after the attacks he's taken.] TD: I don't think that's the same guy... SR and BL: Shut up, Dross! [Hangman enters the ring, and is caught by a cartwheel kick by Cheshire. Cheshire springs over to his corner and tags in Allah, then goes to hold Hangman's legs. Allah climbs to the top rope, then launches off with an elbow drop. Cheshire leaves the ring while Allah rubs his armpit on the face of the Hangman. Quigley pounds on the turnbuckle, rallying behind his partner.] TD: We're seeing some impressive teamwork from Cheshire and the Dirt Dog! SR: Makes you wonder if all that friction was planned. BL: I always like to plan friction... Makes the experience all the more enjoyable. TD: Becky, please. [Allah gets up again and does a his booty-shakin' while the Hangman rolls out of the ring again. Once again, the Hangman talks to his team-mates while the three of them walk around, confusing the crowd. One of the Hangmen enters the ring, and Medusa calls out to Cheshire and Allah. Quigley hears this, and storms into the ring, as does Cheshire. The four men duke it out, while the referee simply stand in the corner, saying something to himself.] SR: What's wrong with this ref? TD: I'm forced to wonder the same thing... You can't have four people in the ring at once. BL: Yeah, this ain't no bed! [The brawl continues, and the ref walks over to the timekeeper's table and calls for the bell. The bell rings, and Sparkplug picks up the mic. The brawl in the ring stops.] TD: What is it? A disqualification? SR: I dunno. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, since the legal Hangman was outside of the ring for the ten count, the match is awarded to Dirt Dog Unique Allah and Cheshire by countout! [The two Hangmen on the outside and the one in the ring show their anger, stomping their feet and waving their arms. Unique Allah and Cheshire raise their arms in victory, while Quigley shrugs his shoulders and exits the ring.] SR: Quigley doesn't care! TD: Well, he's got an immediate place in the battle royal. BL: Just like a dork... [The Hangmen leave the ringside area, obviously upset. Cheshire and Allah dance in the ring, Cheshire with some impressive moves, and Allah just falling over himself most of the time. Medusa enters the ring, dancing as well.] SR: I wonder what she sees in that bum... TD: That's one of the great mnysteries of the IIWF, Steve. BL: Not for me... Shake it, sister! TD: Up next, we're going to see Creed and the Sandman team up to face two of the giants of the squared circle: Otto Verhoeven and Steve Kowalski. Despite his recent suspension, which ends tonight, Kowalski is confident of victory: [Cut to pretaped footage, subtitled "Yesterday." Steve "The Fury" Kowalksi is banging a garbage can, as he walks around the empty hangar arena. After about three minutes, an IIWF cameraman jogs up and sets up his equipment. The New Jersey Nightmare hurls the garbage can and lid over his shoulder and turns to the cameraman.] SK: That's it! Say hail to the _king_! The New Jersey Nightmare is back n' the latest news flash... I _am_ the meanest mammer jammer this side of East Lansing! Are ya gettin' this, pinhead? CM: Yes...Yes, sir. I just watted to tell you that I am your biggest... SK: Pain in the ass! Shut ya mouth, before I send ya to ya in' grave! I'm talkin' here! Creed... Sandman. Ya just got ed over by the lottery system royally. _I_ got me a "butcher" and ya got the biggest combo of bone smugglers on the other side. You guys don't add up to a pocket full o' lint in my book. CM: It's really amazing that you got to team up with Verhoeven. He's... SK: Shut up! Otto, you just got yerself #1 pick! Ya play ball and we'll steamroll these fecil freaks straight to HELL! And if ya really lucky it might just be you and me at the end. [Smiling] Just might be. [Kowalski takes off his jacket and turns around to show the back. It reads, "FURY IN THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE." Cut back to ringside.] TD: There's no doubting that Kowalski is a very determined individual, but will he be too headstrong to work effectively with Verhoeven? Creed has... SR: [interrupting] Shut it, Dross. I'll handle it from here. I was fortunate enough to travel to Alaska with the "CEO" Jack Montgomery, and I took the opportunity of a limo ride earlier this evening to get a few comments from the manager of one of the most promising rookies in the sport today: [Cut to pretaped footage, subtitled "Earlier Tonight." Steve "Soundbite" Roberts and "The CEO" Jack Montgomery are in the back of the Corporate limousine riding from the airport to the Alaska Air Force base in which Snow Brawl is set to take place. Creed is running alongside the car.] SR: First off, I want to thank The CEO for flying me up to this god-forsaken part of the world in the Corporate Jet and granting me his initial interview in the IIWF. If we have to hold a December pay-per-view in Alaska, at least I'm able to arrive in style. CEO: No one deserves it more, Steve. SR: True enough. Jack, we had a long discussion on the plane about Creed and some of the more, shall we say, eclectic aspects of his personality. I'm sure most of it would be of interest to the fans of the IIWF, but I don't much care. CEO: Not really of their concern. SR: Exactly. I'll tell you what I like about this guy Creed is his sense of what I like to call, "ruthless efficiency." The guy is a wrestling machine. To what would you attribute Creed's ring savvy, considering he is only a rookie? CEO: Steve, Creed isn't just a wrestler, his matches are really about trying to come to some better understanding of the human condition, to cleave within the yin and the yang, in Jungian terms... no, I'm kidding, Steve, [Roberts laughs] Creed likes to win wrestling matches. That's his job. It's what he does. SR: It's about kicking ass, isn't it, Jack? CEO: There are a couple of guys tonight who are about to find out just that. SR: You're obviously referring to one of the matches I'm most looking forward to tonight, when Creed and Sandman take on a couple of monsters, former IIWF Champion Otto Verhoeven and Steve "The Fury" Kowalski. What's your strategy in a match like this? CEO: A lot of casual observers would look at Creed's obvious physical attributes and think of him as primarily a bruiser, but in a match like this, Creed may use a lot of finesse... [Creed picks up an overly slow jogger by the back of the neck and reverse chokeslams him into a snow embankment.] CEO: ...Kowalski and Verhoeven are devastating big men, maybe almost as strong as Creed, but they just don't have the sheer athleticism to match up with Creed, or even Sandman. SR: Sandman is Creed's partner tonight at Snow Brawl, you've had some uncomplimentary things to say about each other, how will Creed and Sandman function as a unit? CEO: Honestly, I don't know, Steve. Take nothing away from Sandman, the guy is skilled, but he's been uncooperative with us and frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if he were to miss the match entirely. The only thing I have real misgivings about is that "pixie dust" of his. I don't know what it is. I don't trust it, and if he brings any of that stuff near my man, well, let's just say I find even thinking about the consequences unseemly. SR: That brings up something I have to get into, Jack. There was some controversy at the end of Creed's impressive victory over the American Patriot. What would you like to tell the pay-per-view audience about the lethal left hand of Creed? CEO: It's simple. If Creed's left hand is hammering your head, chopping your chest or even threatening your throat, your evening is finished. I don't care how many titles you've won. Beyond that, it's not really anyone's concern. SR: I couldn't agree more. One last question before we throw it back to, well, to me: how are Creed's chances tonight? [The car phone buzzes.] CEO: They just got a lot better, Steve. See you in the winner's circle. [Creed is reverse chokeslamming a small antelope. Cut back to ringside.] TD: I feel sorry for that poor defenceless animal. Creed really is a monster, Steve. SR: Yeah, and with the brains of Jack Montgomery behind him, he's destined for greatness here in the IIWF, starting tonight. TD: Let's find out, as we go back up to the ring for the introductions in this next match. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LETHAL LOTTERY TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Sandman & Creed vs. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski & Otto Verhoeven ------------------------------------------------------- RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following Lethal Lottery tag team match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, making their way down the aisle accompanied by the "CEO" Jack Montgomery, here is the team of the Sandman and Creed! [Mixed reaction for the IIWF veteran, the Sandman, and the newcomer, Creed. The Sandman leads the way down to the ring, striding purposefully, as "Concerto for the Damned" blasts out over the PA. Creed and Montgomery follow behind. The "CEO" eyes the Sandman suspiciously and makes aside comments to Creed.] RA: And introducing their opponents: accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, here is the team of Steve "the Fury" Kowalski and Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [Big heel pop as the Butcher and the Fury appear at the head of the aisle. Verhoeven's knee is strapped, but he appears to be walking without any problems. Kowalski has a confident smirk on his face.] TD: Those two individuals certainly cut an impressive presence. I think they have to be the favourites in this match. SR: Look for Kowalski to go straight after the Sandman, Dross. He's still not happy that the Sandman is taking his father's name in vain, and they never resolved the issue one-on-one in the ring. [Indeed, as Kowalski arrives at ringside, the Sandman leaps into the ring ahead of Creed, and demands that the Fury get in with him. Kowalski grins an evil grin, ditches his Harley Davidson denim jacket, and leaps to the apron, bursting through the ropes with fists flying. The referee hurriedly signals for the bell as Creed and Verhoeven take up their positions on the apron. In the ring, the Sandman and Kowalski go at it tooth and nail. The Sandman forces Kowalski into a neutral corner with a barrage of uppercut blows, and then leaps to the second buckle, monkey-flipping the Fury out into the ring. The Sandman goes to the buckles again, and leaps with a double axe-handle onto the Fury's back, sending Kowalski straight back to the mat. Sandman stomps on his opponent's midsection, and then dashes to Verhoeven's corner, labelling the big German with a hard right hand, and prompting the Butcher to try and enter the ring. The referee attempts to restrain Verhoeven, and the Sandman capitalises on the distraction by choking Kowalski on the bottom rope.] TD: An effective start by the Sandman here! He looks like he's prepared to go it alone in this one. BL: That attitude's going to cost him, Timmy. With a guy as powerful as Creed on the outside, the Sandman's stupid to try and take out Kowalski and Verhoeven on his own. SR: I can't see the Sandman and Creed working at all well together, Dross. That jerk the Sandman doesn't appreciate the talent he's been paired with. [The official turns to see the Sandman run into the ropes, bouncing back to try and leap onto Kowalski's back, choking him some more. However, Kowalski dodges out of the way at the last moment, and the Sandman ends up slipping between the middle and bottom ropes, tumbling to the outside! Big heel pop! Kowalski rolls to his corner and tags in Verhoeven, who immediately walks across the ring and attacks Creed, prompting him to enter the ring. While the official is distracted, Nurse Heidi stalks round to where the Sandman is picking himself up, and attacks him with kicks and punches! Big heel pop!] TD: Give me a break! Somebody get Heidi away from ringside! SR: Turnabout is fair play, Dross! The Sandman distracted the official to choke out Kowalski, so Verhoeven's just going one better. [The referee ejects Creed from the ring, and turns to see Heidi innocently walking away from the winded Sandman. Verhoeven reaches down over the top rope and drags the Sandman back to the apron. The Sandman throws a couple of weak punches into the Butcher's midsection, but ends up being suplexed into the ring over the top rope. The Butcher drops an elbow on the Sandman, and then showboats to the crowd! Big heel pop! Verhoeven drops on the Sandman, and applies a Camel Clutch. The Sandman's face contorts in pain as Verhoeven yanks at his back.] TD: The Sandman hit his back on the apron as he fell from the ring, and Heidi softened him up, too. He can't afford to be in this hold for long. [Creed suddenly storms the ring, and levels Verhoeven with a kick to the back of the head, forcing the Butcher to release the hold. Kowalski charges in from the opposite corner, and the referee is faced with a wild brawl in the ring. Verhoeven drags the Sandman to his feet, and a slugfest between the two breaks out. The Sandman misses with a wildly flailing right hand, and the Butcher spins him around, catching him with an inverted atomic drop which sends the Sandman into the ropes on the recoil, and tumbling to the outside once more. Big heel pop! Verhoeven turns his attentions to Creed, and together Verhoeven and Kowalski whip Creed into the ropes. However, the savvy newcomer puts on the brakes, grabs the ropes, and slides out of the ring to collect his thoughts. Big heel pop as Verhoeven and Kowalski hi-five in the ring.] TD: We're seeing some good teamwork from Kowalski and Verhoeven here, but Creed and the Sandman just don't seem to be finding their rhythm -- and Jack Montgomery isn't helping. Look at this. [Montgomery has the Sandman by the hair, and is shouting in his face. The Sandman is fairly groggy, and doesn't appear to react. Creed grabs the Sandman from behind and rolls him into the ring near their corner. He props him up against the buckles, leaps to the apron, grabs the tag rope and makes the tag, entering the ring legally for the first time in the match. Creed hits Verhoeven from behind with a clubbing blow to the back of the head. Pop as the Butcher goes down! Creed drops a leg on the Butcher, and goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: Perhaps we'll really see what Creed is made of here. There are few tougher challenges in the IIWF than upsetting Verhoeven. [Creed drags the Butcher to his feet and whips him to the ropes, catching him in an impressive powerslam on the rebound! Creed again makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout by the big German! Creed drags the Butcher to his feet once more, and labels him with a series of hard left hands with his red gloved fist. Verhoeven is staggered, and Creed executes a stunning tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the Teutonic terror! Big pop! Creed makes yet another cover - 1 - 2 - Kowalski makes the save, stomping on Creed's head! The 275lb newcomer is quickly to his feet, and stalks into Kowalski's corner. He grabs Kowalski by the neck, and throws the Fury to the arena floor. The referee tries to restrain Creed, but the big man follows Kowalski to the outside.] TD: This is a mistake by Creed. He ought to stay in the ring and concentrate on pinning Verhoeven. These distractions are going to destroy his continuity. SR: I would have to agree, Dross. Creed is mighty impressive in there, and he's focused on winning the match, but sometimes the desire to simply dish out punishment is even stronger. Look at this -- Kowalski is sent clattering into the steel ring steps! Wow! What impact! BL: I hate to interrupt your hero worship, Steve, but Jack Montgomery has just jumped to the apron here. [As Verhoeven staggers to his feet, Jack Montgomery climbs to the ring apron. The referee reacts to the crowd's pop by turning to face the centre of the ring just in time to see Montgomery throw a handful of dust into Verhoeven's face! The official signals for the bell, and Montgomery jumps back to the arena floor, furious. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: What a mistake by Montgomery! He's been saying all week how little he trusted the Sandman's so-called "pixie dust," and then he tries to pull exactly the same stunt on Verhoeven! SR: The referee should have been concentrating on counting Creed out, not on what Montgomery was doing... I can't believe it! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winners as the result of a disqualification: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven and Steve "the Fury" Kowalski! [The theme from "Halloween" starts up over the PA as Heidi jumps into the ring to tend to the temporarily-blinded Verhoeven. Meanwhile, the Sandman has recovered sufficiently to grab Montgomery by the lapels and express his anger. He shakes the manager violently in his rage, which prompts Creed to forget all about Kowalski and come to Montgomery's aid. He jabs a hard left hand into the Sandman's midsection. Big heel pop! Creed really goes to work on the Sandman, beating him down to the mat with a relentless barrage of blows. Eventually, Montgomery drags Creed away from the Sandman, and heads up the aisle with his man. Kowalski rolls into the ring to help Otto to his feet. The Sandman remains laid out at ringside.] SR: We just got a pretty good look at Creed's killer instinct. I wouldn't want to be the Sandman when he wakes up tomorrow morning and every part of his body aches as if he's been hit by an express train. TD: Well, the express train of Verhoeven and Kowalski continues unhindered. Its next stop will be the battle royal at the climax of the show tonight! [Kowalski and Heidi help Verhoeven from the ring, and the trio make their way up the aisle to a big heel pop. The referee leaves the ring and helps the Sandman to his feet. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: Up next, folks, we have one of the most eagerly awaited of all the matches here tonight at Snow Brawl. The intense rivalry between Marty Warnett and "Superstar" Stud Stetson is notorious -- we've had stretchers, car smashes, attempted road traffic accidents -- but tonight, the two men will be on opposing teams in the Lethal Lottery. Partnered by promising newcomers, the American Patriot and Ronnie Paris, Warnett and Stetson will get it on in just a few moments! SR: And it could be the last we see of Walnut in the IIWF for good! BL: It could indeed. Walnut still hasn't healed from all the beatings Stetson's been giving him lately. I can't imagine that Walnut has enough in him tonight to face Stetson and still make it to the battle royal. TD: Well, let's find out. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LETHAL LOTTERY TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Superstar" Stud Stetson & Ronnie Paris vs. Marty Warnett & American Patriot ------------------------------------------------------- TD: What a surprise by Stetson, huh? SR: Don't start, Dross. That belt was given to him by the guys at the top. You don't want to mess with them. BL: Sometimes the best way to get a raise is to mess with the guys at the top... TD: Both of you, stop it! I don't believe this! SR: I do... BL: Me too. TD: [grumbles] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, this next tag match is part of the Lethal Lottery. Introducing first, the team of "Superstar" Stud Stetson and Ronnie Paris! ["Rain Will Fall" by I Mother Earth begins to play, and Stetson comes out, sporting his new Superstar belt. It's fairly tacky looking, with a huge gold plate on the front surrounded by nasty looking metal studs. Ronnie Paris follows Stetson, and shakes his head at Stetson's antics. Stetson argues with fans, shouts insults, and basically acts in as obnoxious a manner as he can muster, while Paris tries to hi-five the fans and shake hands.] TD: It doesn't look like Mr. Paris is too thrilled with his tag partner. SR: I don't think Stetson is too thrilled about Paris either. BL: Look at this Paris kid... He's all lanky and funny looking. TD: There's no need for that, Becky. BL: Yes there is, look at him! [The team of Stetson and Paris enter the ring, and Stetson shows off his belt to the crowd, then to Sparkplug Lee. Lee smiles and gives the thumbs up, but the smile quickly disappears when Stetson turns away.] RA: Their opponents, the team of the American Patriot and Marty Warnett! [The crowd gives an enthusiastic pop as the Patriot and Warnett jog out down the aisle. Warnett wears a fairly heavy knee brace on his right leg, but upon seeing Stetson in the ring, he breaks into a sprint, sliding under the bottom rope and jumping Stetson. Stetson tries to exit the ring, but Warnett follows, delivering some hard punches to Stetson's head. Stetson staggers back against the crowd barrier, and Warnett launches himself forward. Stetson quickly moves, and Warnett crashes into the barrier full force. Stetson laughs and points to his head, and winds up with the Superstar belt. Stetson clocks Warnett right across the face with the belt, and the studs cause a few lacerations. Warnett falls to the ground and grabs his face, but he notices the blood, and it seems to put him into a rage. He leaps at Stetson and knocks him down, and the two roll about on the floor, pummelling each other with fists. Warnett gets the upper hand, but Stetson breaks free and begins to quickly move up the aisle. Warnett follows, and again, the two start to brawl. They fight each other toward the entrance to the locker room area, and disappear from sight. A camera man runs into the back, and the fight can be seen again. Several wrestlers stand around and watch. Otto Verhoeven screams at both men about how weak they are. Casey James, smoking a huge cigar, giggles and points at the fight. Ned Norton runs onto the scene, and with an exaggerated arm gesture, the rest of the Jobber Justice Squad pours in. The Squad separates the two men, much to the disappointment of the spectators. Stetson swings his belt and catches Norton in the side of the head with it. The Nifty man hits the floor, whimpering and holding his head. Stetson is restrained, and the two men are taken in separate directions.] TD: My goodness! All that before the bell! SR: Did you see Warnett? He was bleeding like a stuck pig! BL: Hmmm... How many pigs have you stuck, Steve? SR: Quit it... You know what I meant. [The shot goes back to the ring, where Ronnie Paris and the American Patriot stand, somewhat shocked. Both men look to each other and kind of shrug their shoulders, then the ref comes in to talk to both of them. The microphones don't quite pick up what he's saying, but Paris and the Patriot both seem to agree with it.] TD: I'm not sure what we're going to see here. Perhaps the match will be declared a no contest? BL: That would figure... Both of these guys are weenies, so I wouldn't mind. SR: Can we show the tape of that brawl again? I really liked that... TD: Okay, the bell has been rung, and the two men are squaring off! I guess we're going to see a singles match between these two IIWF newcomers! SR and BL: [sarcastic] Oh yay... [Patriot and Paris shake hands in the middle of the ring and begin to circle each other, both men occasionally faking a charge. the two men lock up, and the Patriot gets a hold of Paris' arm and twists. Paris checks the hold to try and break it, and somersaults forward with his free hand, releasing the pressure. He reverses the hold, twisting the Patriot's arm. The Patriot backs Paris up against the ropes and sends him running across the ring. Paris hits the ropes and comes back with a flying cross body, which the Patriot catches, and turns into a powerslam. Pop. Patriot goes for the cover, but Paris kicks out before the count begins. American Patriot slaps on a headlock, but Paris throws him into the ropes. The Patriot comes off the ropes, and Paris goes for a forearm shot, but the Patriot slides between his legs and goes for a backslide. The ref counts... 1 - Kickout by Paris.] TD: What a display of technical ability! SR: Wake me up when the punching starts. BL: Whatever happened to the big guys? TD: Isn't the Patriot big enough for you, Becky? BL: But he's a big _girl_. All that weedy patriotism crap. [Paris springs up to his feet and quickly catches Patriot with a dropkick, then as Patriot gets to his feet, Paris executes a Russian leg sweep. Paris wraps Patriot in a Texas Cloverleaf, but Patriot scurries toward the ropes, and the ref calls for the break. Paris breaks, but drags Patriot up and throws him into the ropes. Patriot comes back, and Paris hoists him up from the waist and hotshots Patriot onto the top rope. Luckily for the Patriot, Paris allowed the ropes to hit him in the chest rather than the throat. Partiot holds his chest as Paris closes in and locks a half nelson/hammerlock hold on. Paris rolls the patriot over, and the ref counts the pin... 1 - 2 - Kickout by the Patriot. Paris again drags the Patriot up and sets him up for a German suplex. Paris tries to lift the Patriot, but Patriot wraps a leg around Paris' leg, blocking the move. Again Paris tries for the suplex, and again it is blocked. Patriot reaches back, grabs Paris' head, and snap mares him over his hip. Patriot locks on a reverse chinlock.] TD: Still, a sound scientific match by the two newcomers to the IIWF. SR: Can't they let Stetson and Warnett loose again? Sheesh... BL: Ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall... [Paris fights up to his feet and takes the pressure off. Patriot quickly switches to a side headlock and tries for a bulldog. Paris slips out and pushes Patriot away, and Patriot lands on his tailbone. Patriot holds his back in pain, and Paris capitalizes with an Irish whip. Paris comes off the ropes as well, but is caught by a quick flying forearm by the Patriot. Patriot goes for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3! Paris kicks out a split second too late!] TD: The Patriot Missle! Just like that, he turned the tide of the match with a high impact move! SR: Yup, sure... the American Pukemeister takes the win... [The ref holds up the arm of the Patriot, and Paris gets to his feet, shaking off the cobwebs. Paris sees the decision and shakes his head in disappointment. The Patriot goes over to him and holds out his hand. Paris accepts, and there is a big pop as the two shake hands. Patriot raises Paris' arm in victory, and the pop gets louder. The two leave the ring together.] SR: What the hell was that? Patriot won. TD: Yes, but Paris fought a good match. The Patriot knows that. BL: What a bonehead. SR: So who gets to advance? Obviously, the Patriot will, but what about Warnett? He wasn't even in this match! TD: I don't know... I guess we'll find out when the battle royal comes up... BL: Doesn't matter... Warnett won't win, and neither will the Patriot... They're too small. SR: And stupid. TD: Why couldn't they have teamed me up with nicer people? SR: Because you're being punished for your cruelty to animals... BL: Yeah, really... Do you have a handler's permit for that rodent on your head? TD: Hey, lay off the hair! Our final tag team elimination match is up next, fans, and it features what some have dubbed the "dream team" of the Lethal Lottery -- Casey "Blackheart" James and "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder. SR: Now there are two guys who know how to fight, Dross. TD: Indeed. Let's go backstage and hear from Thunder now: [Cut to Brody Thunder in the locker room taping up his wrists with some black and red electrical tape. He's chewing on his trademark cigar. He looks into the camera and speaks:] BT: Well, well, well. Casey James. The "Blackheart". So the IIWF has picked _HIM_ as my partner in the Lethal Lottery, eh? That's perfect. Y'see I don't like losin'... plain an' simple. I may not have James on my Christmas card list but at least the man knows how to win. There ain't many men in this sport who can brag of gettin' his hand raised after steppin' in the ring with the Lone Wolf, James. You did. I'll give ya that. But tonight I don't plan on losin'. An' I think I know you well enough to say you don't like losin' much either. Now James, I respect you for the athlete that you are... an' tonight yer sharin' the corner with the one man tough enough to back up his word. I don't like you. You don't like me. That's a natural fact, son. But tonight we're fightin' fer the same cause... a whole lotta dead presidents, son. To take the winner's share o' the purse I'd be willin' to team with the Devil himself. All you gotta do is hold up yer end o' this here arrangement, comprende amigo? The Lone Wolf will do the same. [Brody wraps up his other wrist.] Now I know what you can do, James. All you gotta do is do it tonight an' we'll be winners. End o' story. See ya in the ring, "Blackheart"... don't be late. [Cut back to ringside.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LETHAL LOTTERY TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Casey "Blackheart" James & "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder vs. White Phoenix & Serge Annis ------------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee is already in the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is tonight's final Lethal Lottery tag team match. Introducing first, coming down the aisle, the team of Serge Annis and the White Phoenix! [Mixed pop as a sheet of flame shoots out in front of the door at the head of the aisle. Through the sheet of brilliant sparks step Chow and Annis, walking side by side. Annis is carrying what looks like a cup of coffee with a lid in his hand. The pair make their way to the ring to the strains of "Some Days It's Dark".] TD: Annis and Chow walking side by side! Is this an indication that these two men can actually work together? SR: Annis knows how important getting to the battle royal is, Dross. He wants a piece of Kauffman in the worst way, and although it's a long shot, if Kauffman gets past Deathbringer later tonight, Annis will want to win that battle royal to get a guaranteed match with Danny boy. BL: Steve's right. I may not like these little guys, but the White Phoney isn't a bad athlete, and Annis probably realises that his best chance of success is to work with the Phoney now, and attack him later. TD: Okay, but what's in the cup? SR: Maybe Annis had a hard night last night and needs a caffeine fix to get him through this match. [Annis and Chow enter the ring and go to their corner.] RA: And introducing their opponents: accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, here is the team of Casey "Blackheart" James and "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder. [Big heel pop as "Foul Taste of Freedom" blasts out over the PA and the trio step out into the aisle. Casey walks with Brian Lau at his side, and Thunder follows a few steps behind, glaring at the hostile fans.] TD: Many have called this partnership the "dream team" of the Lottery, but I'm not so sure. Thunder and Casey have had their disagreements in the short time Thunder has been in the IIWF, and I have a feeling that their history is going to come between them and success here tonight. SR: Dream on, Dross. Like Brody said earlier on, they're both professionals. They want to make it to the battle royal, and they will. [Casey James and the Phoenix start things off in the ring. They circle one another, the Phoenix flashing martial arts kicks just inches away from Casey's head. Casey stops, looks out into the crowd, smiles, and then charges Chow with an attempted clothesline. Chow slips out of the way, and as Casey spins, he is staggered into the ropes by a flying dropkick from the Phoenix. Chow whips "Blackheart" across the ring, and hits him with a leg lariat on the return! Casey goes down, and rolls to his corner, where he quickly tags in Brody Thunder.] TD: Casey was outsmarted by the Phoenix right there! I think Thunder might take a slightly more cautious approach now. [Thunder circles the Phoenix, and then holds his hands up, inviting Chow to participate in a test of strength. Chow looks out into the crowd, who discourage him from falling for the ruse, but Thunder is insistent. Chow gingerly reaches up with one hand, and is immediately met by a kick to the midsection from Thunder. In a flash, Thunder grabs a handful of tights, and pulls off a vicious quick piledriver, laying the Phoenix out on the mat. Thunder drops an elbow on Chow, and then applies a leg grapevine on the Phoenix.] BL: Smart tactical move by Thunder here. If he takes out the Phoenix's legs, then the big turkey won't be able to fly. [The Phoenix inches towards the ropes, and finally grabs hold of the bottom rope. The referee calls for the break, and Thunder eventually obliges. Thunder allows the Phoenix to get back to his feet, but quickly goes back to work on the weakened leg, knocking Chow back to the mat. Thunder drapes Chow's leg across the bottom rope, and jumps on it, trying to snap his ankle. Big heel pop! The official warns Thunder, and Serge Annis storms the ring, striking Thunder from behind with a hard clothesline. Thunder spins around and fires back at Annis. Casey James launches himself into the ring, and between them, James and Thunder manage to eject Annis from the ring by throwing him through the ropes. The referee struggles to force James out of the ring.] TD: Oh, the official's lost control here! Casey and Thunder set the Phoenix up for an Irish whip -- double clothesline! Boy, that almost took the Phoenix's head off! [Thunder goes for the cover and hooks the leg as Casey leaves the ring - 1 - 2 - kickout by Chow! On the outside, Annis picks himself up and returns to his corner, where he reaches eagerly into the ring. Thunder backs the Phoenix into his corner, and tags in Casey James. They make good use of the referee's five count, doubleteaming the Phoenix with a barrage of kicks and punches. Casey allows the Phoenix to slump into the ring, and climbs to the second turnbuckle. He waits for Chow to stagger to his feet, and launches himself at the Phoenix with an attempted double axe-handle, but Chow reacts quickly, and catches Casey in the gut with a hard punch. Casey is winded, and the Phoenix capitalises with a swinging neckbreaker that lays out both men! Big pop! The referee begins counting both men out.] TD: This is it! The Phoenix has to make the tag now and get Annis into the ring! [By the count of four, both men are onto their knees, and reaching for the tag. Thunder and Annis, the fresh men, collide in centre ring with fists flying. Annis whips Thunder into the ropes and hits him with a powerslam on the rebound. Casey storms the ring again, and Annis floors him with a clothesline. Thunder gets back to his feet, only to be planted back to the canvas by a scoop slam from Annis. Annis turns to Casey once more, who pulls himself back to his feet using the ropes, and clotheslines "Blackheart" out of the ring! Big pop!] TD: Annis is like a house on fire in there! SR: And he hasn't even touched his coffee. [Annis pulls Thunder to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. Annis bounces off the opposite side, and takes Brody down to the mat with a flying clothesline. Big pop! Annis makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Thunder kicks out! Annis drags Thunder to his feet and keeps him groggy with a couple of headbutts. Thunder is staggered, and Annis grabs him by the throat, setting him up for a chokeslam. However, at that moment, Casey James rolls back into the ring, and clips Annis' knee from behind, forcing him to relinquish his grip on Thunder. Big heel pop! The referee tries to eject Casey from the ring, while Thunder shakes off the cobwebs and begins stomping away at Annis' knee. Thunder drags Annis to his feet and whips him into the ropes. As Annis goes into the ropes, he reaches out to tag the Phoenix, and Thunder fails to see the tag. Annis ducks under a clothesline attempt, and rolls out of the ring on the opposite side. Thunder spins around, and is caught flush on the jaw by a flying clothesline from the top rope by the White Phoenix! Huge pop! The Phoenix makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Casey makes the save!] TD: This is chaos! Both of these teams seem to be working together in a very cohesive fashion! SR: I'm surprised that Annis and the Phoenix have been able to work together as well as they have, Dross. BL: Hey, Annis needs some coffee. Look. [Annis goes to his corner, where he removes the lid from the cup and takes a swig of the liquid. He climbs back to the apron, and reaches into his tights for an object.] TD: What's going on here?! What's Annis up to?! [The White Phoenix drags Thunder to his feet, and whips him into the ropes. At that moment, Annis flicks open his Zippo lighter, and spews the liquid out of his mouth through the flame of the lighter. The crowd gasp in shock as a huge tongue of flame scorches forth from the lighter, nearly hitting Thunder, who manages to put on the brakes. The referee sees the offense, and signals for the disqualification. Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: What was Annis thinking?! A flamethrower?! That must have been pure alcohol, or gasoline, or something, in that cup. SR: It may seem dumb, but there are probably few more effective foreign objects in wrestling than fireballs. Just think what could have happened if Thunder hadn't seen it coming! RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners as the result of a disqualification, "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder and Casey "Blackheart" James! [Thunder clotheslines the Phoenix, who is arguing with Annis, from the ring, and is joined in the squared circle by Casey James, who holds Thunder's arm aloft. Suddenly, however, Casey attacks Thunder, beating him down to his knees with kicks and punches.] TD: That's typical Syndicate behaviour! Casey wouldn't be in the battle royal if it wasn't for Thunder, and look how he expresses his thanks! This is disgusting! SR: It's the law of the jungle here in the IIWF, Dross. If Casey takes Thunder out now, that's one less body to deal with in the battle royal... But it doesn't look like Thunder is ready to take this lying down anyway! [A wild brawl between Thunder and Casey breaks out in the ring, prompting a flood of security staff to come down and try to break it up. Meanwhile, the Phoenix makes his way up the aisle, breathing heavily, his head hung low. Suddenly, as he approaches the entranceway, he is jumped by one of the sound engineers! Huge confused pop from the crowd! The man, who wears an IIWF engineer's blue jumpsuit, levels Chow with a hard clothesline, and proceeds to punch and kick him as he lies on the concrete floor. A swarm of officials dash out into the aisle, and the engineer takes flight into the locker room.] TD: What?! What was all that about?! SR: An _engineer_ just attacked Chow? BL: Sheesh, I've seen some pretty outrageous ways of demanding a rise, but that just about takes the cake! TD: Let's go backstage to Larry Morton, who might be able to catch the offender... Larry? [Cut to backstage. A handheld camera shot follows Larry Morton, who is chasing after the jumpsuited figure. The man ducks into a room, and tries to close the door, but Larry gets a foot in the way.] LM: Hey! You! Voice: What the hell do you want? LM: Hang on! That sounds like... Randy Acorn?! This is a typical Acorn stunt! Voice: Acorn?! What in hell's name are you talking about?! Get your ass out of here! LM: Sir, I'm just trying to do my job, and my job is to find whomever just attacked the White Phoenix and find out what the hell is going on. [At that moment the door flies open, and there stands a clown in the doorway. Larry screams and runs off down the hall as the clown wipes off his facepaint, revealing himself to be Randy Acorn.] RA: It seems like Larry's still afraid of clowns. Some things never change. But there is one thing that's changed, and that's the IIWF's respect for me. There's been talk of the President not wanting me back. Well, to hell with the President. They can't get rid of me, and neither can anyone else. I'm the man that brought this fed to where it's at now, and if no one can respect that, then each one of you will be taken out one by one. The shit's going to hit the fan, and the fan's going to be me while the shit getting cut up will be the comepetition in the IIWF. The Badboy's back and sure as hell badder than ever. Now get the hell out of here! [Acorn steps back into the room and slams the door shut. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: I don't get it. As far as I knew, Acorn's contract was terminated last week! SR: You don't just terminate the contract of a guy like Randy Acorn, Dross. I guess this means that the "Badboy" is back with a vengeance. I like it! TD: I'm sure Acorn will have more to say about his little appearance. Fans, while all that was going on, the security staff managed to separate Brody Thunder and Casey James. When those two meet up in the battle royal later on, there are going to be some serious fireworks! From one member of the Syndicate, Casey James, to another. Later on tonight, three-time Intercontinental Champion Tiger Claw will battle Hakiro Matsuoko and the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi for the chance of adding a second title, the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship, to his impressive list of achievements. Larry Morton is backstage with Claw now. Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton, still shaking slightly and sweating, standing in the locker room of Tiger Claw. Brian Lau stands with him, talking on a cellular phone.] LM: Okay, Tim... I'm here with Brian Lau. Brian, what are your thoughts on Tiger Claw's chances tonight? BL: [covering the phone] Can't you see I'm talking to someone? [turns back to phone] Yes, don't worry. Everything is going along as planned. He's in for a night he'll never forget. [Brian snaps the phone shut] What is it you were asking? LM: Tiger Claw's chances to take the title tonight? BL: Oh, yes. Well, I happen to think that the chances of the Cruiserweight belt coming to the Syndicate are very good. The odds are in our favour. Tiger Claw is one of the greatest fighters to ever hold a title in the IIWF. He knows exactly how to win championship matches. LM: What about the fact that he'll be in the ring with _two_ known enemies of the Syndicate? BL: You exaggerate, Larry. Hakiro is the enemy now, and Takezo Musashi is the enemy of Hakiro. I would think that it's Hakiro who has to worry. As for Takezo Musashi, well, he's not exactly welcome in this fight, but he'll have to be dealt with nonetheless. Musashi, you've stepped right on top of a landmine. Your situation right now is not unlike the time between the click and the explosion, where you have to think to yourself, "Oh, god, what have I done?" LM: You don't think that with the bad blood between Hakiro and Tiger Claw, Musashi will end up having an easy time because he'll be ignored? BL: Come on, Larry. You know me... I don't ignore anything. Tiger Claw is ready for anything that might come up. Now this interview is over... You ask too many questions. LM: Okay, Mr. Lau, thank you. Back to you, Tim. [Cut back to ringside.] TD: And speaking of questions, a big question mark still hangs over the very next match. Billy Sexton has not been seen in the arena or anywhere on the base tonight, and if he fails to show up, Billy Shakespeare may not have to defend his Intercontinental Championship. SR: What do you expect, Dross, when the entire IIWF is conspiring against Sexton? They've probably got him holed up on some airport tarmac claiming technical problems with the plane... TD: [interrupting] Okay, Steve, we've heard all about that. Right now, let's hear from the Intercontinental Champion himself: [Cut to Billy Shakespeare in the locker room. He stares at a spot on the wall, addressing, but never looking into the camera.] BS: Will Sexton be here, or not be here, that's a very good question. Sexton, time for the final act of this charade. Blaming others for your failings is no way to go through life. Tonight I'll admit to one thing: Your losing _will_ have been at my hands. There will be noone to strike me with my own belt as you robbed me of the cruiser title. You will not be protected by your videos, nor your photos. Your shadows have offended, now looms the time to make them flee before the light. The Spotlight. [Cut back to ringside.] TD: Sparkplug Lee is in the ring... Let's get up to him for the introductions. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. "Painbringer" Billy Sexton ------------------------------------------------------------ RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship! [Huge pop as "Little Willie" starts up over the PA system] Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder, the champion, hailing from Ashland, Oregon, and weighing in at 230lbs, here is... "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [The lights in the arena drop, except for a single, pure white spotlight, which points directly at the head of the aisle. Dry ice begins to seep out from behind the closed doors, which are then opened by the ushers, and the crowd gives a huge pop as Billy Shakespeare steps out into the aisle. He performs his trademark bow before making his way down to the ring, the spotlight following him all the way. Brody Thunder appears in the aisle and follows Shakespeare to the ring, taking up station in his corner.] TD: Just listen to these people! SR: It never ceases to amaze me how these morons can cheer a loser like Pukespeare. BL: Why is the champion coming out first, Timmy? The challenger always comes out first. TD: I understand we can go backstage to Larry Morton, who might have the answer to that question. Larry? [Cut to a split-screen: on the right, Shakespeare makes his way into the ring, and the lights rise as fireworks explode high in the rafters of the converted hangar; on the left, Larry Morton stands behind the entranceway, where concerned officials are hurrying about.] LM: Yes, Tim, I'm here. As you can see, there's a great deal of confusion back here. Nobody has been able to locate Billy Sexton -- it really does appear that he is not here in Alaska tonight, and I think the officials sent Shakespeare out first to buy them a little extra time. This is potentially a very embarrassing situation for the IIWF. Hang on -- there's Poutine Janois! I'll try and get a word with him. Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the ring, where Shakespeare disrobes and gives his Intercontinental title to the referee. Slight colouration is still apparent around Shakespeare's rib and kidney areas, and he flinches as he performs some stretches in one corner.] TD: Thanks, Larry... Well, folks, I really don't know what's going to happen here. If Sexton doesn't show up, it could be very good news indeed for Shakespeare, who doesn't look to be back to full strength, even after a two-week layoff. SR: Don't be so naive, Dross! Pukespeare's probably used that so-called dramatic know-how of his to make himself up to look injured. He's out here, confident that Sexton isn't going to show up... If Sexton were even in the building, Pukespeare wouldn't have the guts to come down here and get into the ring... TD: Hang on, Steve. Poutine Janois of the IIWF Special Concerns Committee is making his way down to ringside. He's speaking with the referee... it looks like we have some kind of announcement here, folks. Let's go over to Sparkplug Lee. [Sparkplug Lee climbs into the ring, and listens to the discussion between Janois and the referee. Billy Shakespeare looks on with interest. Eventually, Sparkplug nods and raises his microphone. ] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been informed by Mr. Poutine Janois, chairman of the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee, that there will be an alteration in the following match. "Painbringer" Billy Sexton, the challenger for the Intercontinental Championship match has failed to appear at the arena tonight, and as such, he will be replaced by another wrestler deemed worthy of the title shot by the Committee. [Billy Shakespeare approaches Janois to protest.] SR: [mocking] Aw, look at poor widdle Pukespeare. Has his plan backfired? Is he going to get his butt kicked after all? TD: Be quiet, Steve. [The ring announcer continues.] RA: Mr. Janois has ruled that Billy Shakespeare's opponent for tonight will be... Steve "the Fury" Kowalski! [Huge heel pop! Shakespeare looks beside himself, and argues with Janois.] TD: I can't believe this, folks! Kowalski has been suspended for two weeks, and on his first night back, he's handed a title shot?! What's the thinking behind that decision?! SR: This is great news, Dross! There's only one wrestler in the IIWF who wants to kick Pukespeare's ass as much as Sexton, and that's the Fury! This is going to be a slaughter! [The crowd reaction slowly dies down as Sparkplug strains to speak again.] RA: Mr. Janois has made this ruling on the basis that Steve Kowalski cleanly defeated Billy Sexton a number of weeks ago, and as such may be regarded as a worthy replacement #1 contender. [The crowd jeers loudly at the ruling, and Janois simply cuts Shakespeare off in his protestations, leaving the ring and heading back up the aisle. He is pelted by screwed up bits of paper and ice from soda cups as he walks, and security guards are quickly by his side. In the ring, Shakespeare puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head.] TD: A very unpopular decision indeed by Janois here, Becky. BL: Who cares, Timmy? Shakespeare's been reigning as champion on borrowed time -- now he's got to put up or shut up. SR: Put up or be put out of the IIWF, more like, Becky. Kowalski's going to tear him apart! [Sparkplug Lee raises his microphone again as "Don't Fear the Reaper" starts up over the PA system.] RA: Introducing the challenger... making his way down the aisle, hailing from Newark, New Jersey, and weighing in at 268lbs, here is Steve "the Fury" Kowalski! [Huge heel pop for Kowalski, who steps out into the aisle with a huge smirk on his face.] TD: Kowalski has wrestled once already tonight, and he's also due to participate in the Battle Royal later on. Has he got what it takes to wrestle three times in one night? SR: Sure he does, Dross. This guy positively thrives on beating the snot out of other people. He's going to make a real example out of Pukespeare. [Kowalski takes his time approaching the ring, badmouthing the fans on either side of the aisle. Shakespeare fixes his gaze on the Fury from the ring, and as the Fury arrives at ringside, he casts a suspicious eye at Brody Thunder, who puts his hands up as if to say that he means no harm. Kowalski points up at Shakespeare and signals that the Skullpump is in his near future. The Champion smiles, and holds open the ropes for Kowalski to get into the ring.] TD: What's going on here?! SR: What kind of a stunt is this?! What's Pukespeare doing? [Kowalski warily steps up onto the apron, and debates whether or not to step through the ropes into the ring. The crowd chant "Billy! Billy!" as the champion continues to hold the ropes open. Eventually, Kowalski ducks through suddenly, and spins around to face Shakespeare, who releases the ropes, and bows to his opponent. Big pop! Kowalski seems enraged, and levels the champion with a huge clothesline! Huge heel pop! The referee hurriedly signals for the bell as Kowalski stomps away at Shakespeare's rib area.] TD: Apparently Steve Kowalski doesn't appreciate Billy's chivalry. SR: Chivalry?! Pukespeare's trying to make a fool out of Kowalski, Dross, but that smirk's on the other side of his face now! [Shakespeare rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope, clutching his ribs. Kowalski performs a mocking bow in the ring to another huge heel pop, before rolling out after the champion. The referee lays the count on both men as they slug it out on the outside. Shakespeare blocks a hard right from Kowalski and fires back with one of his own, staggering the Fury. Shakespeare charges with a bodycheck, sending Kowalski flying back into the steel ringsteps, which he hits with a crash. Big pop! Shakespeare rolls back into the ring to break the count. He tries to shake off the effects of the blows to his ribs while Kowalski drags himself to his feet outside the ring. He climbs back to the apron, and is suplexed into the ring by Shakespeare! Big pop! Billy makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! Kowalski fights back to his feet, and Shakespeare tries to whip him into the ropes. The Fury reverses and sends Billy for the ride. Kowalski goes for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, but Shakespeare manages to convert into a flying headscissors, flipping Kowalski across the ring. Kowalski drags himself to his feet using the ropes, and Billy charges, trying to clothesline the Fury out of the ring, but Kowalski drops to the mat, and Shakespeare sails over the top rope to the outside, landing hard! Huge heel pop!] TD: Wow! That's got to hurt! It looks like Shakespeare landed badly outside the ring... he might have blown out his knee. BL: If Billy's legs are injured, he's going to find it hard to take all those high-flying risks. He could be grounded, and that's a very significant element of his style eliminated. TD: Things don't look good for the champion here. [Shakespeare pulls himself back to his feet, but as he tries to put weight on his right leg, it gives way, and he falls back to the floor. The referee lays on the count as Kowalski collects himself inside the ring. The Fury soon rolls out to continue his assault on Billy's injured leg. He grabs a chair from the timekeeper's table, and wields it above his head. The referee quickly gets inbetween Kowalski and Shakespeare, and tries to wrest the chair away from the Fury. Billy drags himself back to his feet, and rolls back into the ring, prompting Kowalski to drop the chair and follow his opponent under the bottom rope. Kowalski immediately wraps up Billy's bad leg in a Texas cloverleaf. Big heel pop!] TD: Shakespeare's in real trouble now! With that injured knee of his, he won't be able to sustain this highly painful hold very long. BL: He's inching towards the ropes... but he's got a way to go yet. [Just as Billy is within an inch of grabbing the ropes, Kowalski deliberately drags Shakespeare towards the centre of the ring. Billy's face contorts in pain. The referee checks him, but the champion refuses to submit. Again, Shakespeare begins crawling to the ropes. After another excruciating minute, he manages to grab the bottom rope, and the referee calls for the break. Kowalski breaks just as the referee is about to disqualify him, and argues with the official while Billy once more struggles to his feet. Kowalski whips Billy into the ropes and tries to hit a running lariat, but Shakespeare ducks underneath, and fires back with a flying clothesline of his own! Huge pop! Shakespeare goes to the corner, and gingerly climbs to the top rope as Kowalski drags himself to his feet.] TD: Billy's going for the Curtain Call! If he hits this move, it's all over! SR: What a stupid mistake! Pukespeare's in no shape to go to the top rope! TD: He's got to try and finish this match quickly, Steve -- with his injuries, he can't afford to go on much longer. [Billy bides his time as Kowalski turns and walks towards the corner. Cameras flash as Shakespeare launches himself with his backflip crossbody splash into the ring -- but Kowalski drops to the mat, and Billy misses! Huge heel pop! Both men are laid out on the canvas!] TD: He missed! Shakespeare's in big trouble now! [Kowalski drags himself to his feet, and makes a mocking bow to the crowd once more, who jeer loudly as Kowalski grabs Shakespeare and drags him to his feet by the hair. Kowalski puts Shakespeare's head between his legs and underhooks first one arm, and then the other.] TD: Oh no! He's going for the Skullpump! [Kowalski performs the vicious double underhook piledriver on Shakespeare and deliberately makes the cover. The referee counts - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: Yes! He got him! We've got a new champion! [Kowalski stands and pulls his arm away from the referee. The crowd are practically on their feet jeering him. The Fury spits on the downed carcass of Shakespeare, before snatching the Intercontinental title belt away from the official. He straps it around his waist and raises his arms to the crowd, who pelt him with paper and empty soda cups. He merely shakes his head and gives the fans the finger.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner as the result of a pinfall, and _new_ IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski! [Kowalski climbs out of the ring and heads up the aisle, continuing to jaw with the fans as he strokes his new gold belt with a covetous hand. The crowd continue to give Kowalski a solid heel pop until he disappears back into the locker room. Meanwhile, in the ring, the official, along with Brody Thunder, helps Billy Shakespeare to his feet. The former champion favours his right leg heavily, and clutches at his back and ribs.] TD: What a dreadful sight. Shakespeare wasn't at full strength when he stepped into the ring tonight, and he's paid the price. However, you have to wonder whether Kowalski would have beaten him had it not been for the... SR: [interrupting] Shut it, Dross! Stop making excuses for Pukespeare. The better man won tonight, and that's all there is to it! TD: I have to wonder whether this wasn't planned by Kowalski all along, you two. What if _he_ was the man behind all the misinformation that's been fed to Billy Sexton in the past few weeks? SR: What a ridiculous idea, Dross. You call yourself a journalist?! TD: I'm really not convinced, Steve. [Shakespeare is assisted up the aisle by Thunder to a standing ovation from the capacity crowd.] TD: Shakespeare will bounce back from this defeat, folks. He'll be gunning for Kowalski -- you can guarantee it. SR: And he'll go down to defeat one more time. I love it. TD: We'll see about that. Up next we have tonight's second championship match. The High Plains Drifters will defend their titles against both the Armed Forces and Rising Sun Revolution in a special triangle match! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TRIANGLE MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= High Plains Drifters vs. Rising Sun Revolution vs. Armed Forces ------------------------------------------------ SR: The Aces of the Deep ought to be in this matchup. TD: How's that again? SR: Dictator Danny is so spineless... I figured we'd get all the jellyfish together. TD: What Steve is referring to is President Spreadbury's decision to acknowledge the Armed Forces' right to be in this match. SR: The mistake he made was not having the Forces meet the Drifters to begin with. [Sparkplug Lee is writing "Lisa" in the air with his finger. The spotlight clicks on him suddenly.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is an elimination triangle match for the IIWF World Tag Team Championship. [Fireworks explode from the ringposts and the crowd cheers.] RA: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 570 pounds, from Japan, here are Hiroshi "Daioni" Kasai and Ryudo "Tatsu" Kenjinata: Rising Sun Revolution! [There is a pop as the Oriental warriors appear at the head of the aisle to the strains of the theme from "Bladerunner". Strobe lighting makes their confident walk down the aisle appear stilted. They slap hands with the crowd, and there is a wild cry from a corner of the arena where the Japanese fans who crossed the Pacific make themselves known. The two showboat in the ring.] RA: The next team, representing our American armed forces... [The crowd noise becomes deafening and it is impossible to hear the rest of Sparkplug's speech.] TD: It's practically a home crowd for the Armed Forces here tonight. Aside from the 400 servicemen they brought with them here from Omaha, I understand that we have airmen from Minot, Vandenburg, and Warren airbases as well. Maybe even a few Academy boys. SR: It's nice to see that the government is using our tax dollars so wisely for such a worthy cause. TD: I think we've got boys here from Cheyanne Mountain as well. BL: Just a thought... with all the military here, who's defending the country? RA: Introducing the final team in this triangle match: 502 pounds of cowboy, the current IIWF tag champions... Pale and Easy Rider: The High Plains Drifters! [There is a pop as Hugo Montenegro's instrumental whistles from the PA. The Drifters stride in carrying a table. They set up chairs, hook their heels on the table, and lean back in their seats. Easy Rider pours a shot of Kessler's Fine Whiskey and hands it to a nearby 8 year old.] RA: By previously determined draw, The Drifters will start against the Armed Forces. [Pale Rider motions for the others to start without him. Sparkplug shrugs, confused. Poutine Janois comes to the ring and confers with Sparkplug Lee, who nods and takes the mic once more.] RA: I have been informed by Mr. Poutine Janois of the IIWF's Special Concerns Committee that if the Drifters do not enter the ring now, they will forfeit their place in this match, and likewise will forfeit their belts. [The Cowboys storm to the ring.] EASY RIDER: Why do we have to start?! We're the f*$%ing champs! BL: Well. There's a little bit they'll have to edit from the video tapes. SR: Yeah! The Drifters are right. The other slobs should have to fight first. TD: It's just the way it is. SR: Bite me, Tim. [Easy burps loudly in Janois's face. The crowd pops. The Drifters take their corner, Easy starting against DefCon. The two square off center ring. Easy expresses his displeasure by delivering a solid uppercut. DefCon retaliates with an uppercut of his own, then another. Easy steps back, then lands a forearm. DefCon staggers, and Easy follows up with a head butt which drops DefCon to the canvas. Easy raises his arms in victory.] TD: I saw the Armed Forces' battle plan for tonight. It contained detailed plans about their tactics for this skirmish. SR: Doesn't seem to be doing them much good now, does it? BL: Typical. I never have met a military man who could do even half of what he boasted. [Easy walks to the ring corner, tagging in Ryudo by means of a slap across the face. The Drifters climb off the apron and return to their table. Ryudo offers his hand to DefCon, but is slapped away. Ryudo swirls, smacking DefCon in the head with a spinning heel kick. DefCon grabs him under the arms, powering the smaller man into the ropes. DefCon uses the rebound to slam Ryudo onto the Armed Forces' buckle. He tags in NavCom. The two set about pummelling Ryudo until the ref calls for a break. NavCom throws Ryudo, Ryudo retaliates with a thrust kick which knocks NavCom back. Ryudo lunges for his corner, but is intercepted by NavCom. Ryudo retreats across the ring, calling for the Drifters to get back ringside. The Drifters lift shotglasses and middle fingers in reply. Ryudo storms out, demanding they join the match. The Drifters stand. Hiroshi comes around the side, immediately grabbing Easy Rider. Pale Rider breaks a bottle of Kesslers on Hiroshi's head. Ryudo seizes the opportunity to drag Pale rider up on the apron. He steps inside the ring, reaches through the ropes and makes the tag to Pale.] TD: There's the indominable wrestling that kept Rising Sun as champions for so long. A lot of teams should watch how Rising Sun wrestles, they could get a few pointers. SR: Isn't that what the Alphabet Boys are up to? TD: Yes, but those two are hopeless. BL: Nice interview on Tuesday, Tim. You _reeeeally_ showed me how a _real_ reporter gets the job done. SR: Speaking of jobs... what's Bobby Lincoln up to these days? TD: The kind of job which we can't talk about on family television, Steve. [NavCom immediately locks him up in an abdominal stretch. Hiroshi and Easy return to their corners. NavCom drags Pale over and tags in DefCon. Together they throw Pale to the ropes, but miss with a double clothesline. Pale delivers a superkick to NavCom and a flying drop kick to DefCon. He runs for the Rising Sun corner, but the Orientals avoid being tagged. He crawls for his home corner, but DefCon grabs his ankle, then drops a knee to the small of his back.] TD: The managers of the Forces and the Drifters were banned from ringside for this match, but I don't think the Armed Forces miss Aaron. BL: He's just a useless appendage. Sort of what Steve has below his beltline. SR: Hey! TD: Becky! BL: ...his appendix. [Pale manages to use his speed against the lumbering DefCon. He bounces off the rope, ducking another clothesline, and delivers a knee to the midsection. He sweeps the leg, then moves to wringing the knee.] TD: I had mine removed. They cut it off you know. BL: You what..?! TD: My appendix. BL: Of course. What else would I be thinking? SR: Everyone in the auditorium knows what else you'd be thinking. [Plae drops a leg accross the knee, then moves to throw himself against the ropes. At the last moment he grabs the rope and makes the unexpected tag on Hiroshi. Still a little groggy from the bottle strike, he climbs into the ring. NavCom follows Pale as he exits the ring, drives an elbow to the back of the neck and tags in Easy Rider. Easy immediately drives a shoulder into NavCom's back before locking up collar and elbow with Hiroshi. Hiroshi adjusts into a belly-to-belly over the top suplex which rattles the ring as 600 pounds of wrestlers slam down. Easy hipchecks Hiroshi, then throws him to the ropes, before executing a hiplock takeover. Hiroshi powers Easy into the corner, tries to throw him into the opposite turnbuckle, Easy reverses, Hiroshi reverses again and the Drifter slams into the corner. Hiroshi follows with a back elbow blow before kneeling, lifting Easy onto his back, then delivering a running shoulderbreaker. Hiroshi covers - 1 - 2 - Easy powers out. Hiroshi receives a foot to the back from Pale Rider who entered to break the cover. Hiroshi turns to face his new opponent. Easy Rider grabs his head and slams it into the turnbuckle. Hiroshi staggers out. He feels his head, and his fingers come away bloody.] SR: Yes! Blood! It took a bottle and a turnbuckle, but something finally cracked that thick skull of his. TD: This is distasteful. SR: Maybe you could loan him your toupee to cover that hole in his head. [Hiroshi staggers across the ring. Ryudo climbs the turnbuckle. When he gets his partner's tag, he launches at Easy Rider. The big Drifter catches him mid-flight, lifts into a press slam, then releases, finishing off with the "Unforgiven" tombstone piledriver. He covers Ryudo - 1 - there is a cry of anguish from the entry arch, and Abie of the Alphabet Boys flies down the aisle. The distraction allows Ryudo to lift his shoulder. Abie vaults into the ring and onto Easy Rider, delivering open fist blows to the head and ears. He pounds Easy's head into the mat. Pale is immediately into the ring, pulling the Alphabet Boy away. Together, the Drifters expel Abie from the ring. The ref stops the match, signalling that Rising Sun must leave the ring.] TD: The Alphabets have succeeded in handing Rising Sun Revolution another DQ. BL: With friends like this, who needs enemies? [Rising Sun Revolution exit, their heads hung, Abie behind them apologizing the whole way. Back in the ring, Pale tags in to face NavCom. A loud chant of "U - S - A! U - S - A!" begins from the servicemen in attendance.] TD: Both Army and Navy's football teams pulled off upsets this year and made the top 25 college polls. Maybe this is the time for Armed Forces to go for the national championship too. BL: Thank you Mr. Analogy. SR: Dross, this is the Drifters we're talking about. [Pale lands a hook kick, round kick combination. NavCom throws him to the ropes, then catches Pale with a back body drop. He tags in DefCon who immediately tosses the smaller man to the ropes. Pale slides, trying to knock out the big man's legs. Defcon wobbles unsteadily for a moment, but regains his balance. He delivers a sharp fist to Pale's forehead. He throws Pale into the corner where his back impacts with NavCom's knee. DefCon tags out. NavCom drives his shoulder into the cowboy's midsection repeatedly while his partner holds Pale immobile. The referee warns against the double team and DefCon tags back in. The pop from the partisan crowd grows. DefCon throws the Drifter to the ropes, Pale Rider suprises him with a crucifix, again causing the big man to fight for balance.] TD: Pale has been trying all night to get DefCon off his vertical base where he may have a chance against him, but to no avail. BL: Avail? Are we talking about the Aces of the Deep again? Bwaahaa! SR: Are you spending time with the Punster now? BL: You take that back. [DefCon backs into his corner, tagging in his partner. NavCom climbs the ringpost. He leaps with a double axe handle blow, but Pale drops away, and NavCom nails his partner. Pale dives across the mat, tagging in his partner. Easy emerges with a vengeance, first downing NavCom with a waistlock takeover, then again with a scoop slam. He lifts NavCom up for a press slam, but instead walks him to the ropes and drops him down on the table. The table collapses in a shower of splinters and Kesslers.] SR: Table shot! That's hardcore! BL: Shut up, Steve. [DefCon charges through the ropes, but is successfully downed by Pale Rider who uses a baseball slide to cause the army man to make a face plant in center ring. A roar ripples through the crowd as the Indonesian assassins, Pain Inc., with their massive bodyguard Hades, enter ringside. Hades tosses NavCom back into the ring. They surround the ring. Easy invites them to enter the ring, they refuse. Pale questions the existence of their manhood, and Morningstar jumps to the apron. Easy shoves him, Morningstar shoves back. Pale quickly performs the "Hang 'em High" clothesline. He leaps from his partner's shoulders, and the force of the blow is enough to flip Morningstar over the ropes and into the ring. The ref signals for the bell. Morningstar leaps to his feet, head spinning, saliva flying. The base Security immediately storm the ring, along with a few jobbers. They drag an infuriated Pain Inc. backstage. The referee confers with Sparkplug Lee.] RA: On the basis of involving an outside element, the High Plains Drifters have been disqualified. Therefore, the winners of this match are... [There is general chaos as it becomes evident to the military personal in attendance that Armed Forces has won the bout. Sparkplug calls for quiet, which is forever in coming.] RA: However, the Championship cannot -- repeat cannot -- change hands on a disqualification. The Armed Forces have won this contest, but the High Plains Drifters remain Tag Champions. [The cheers turn ugly, and so much trash and debris begins to pelt the squared circle that the ref and wrestlers are inclinded to leave.] SR: This sucks! TD: It's a fair decision. BL: Fair as in "not good"? SR: That ref sucks! His whole family sucks! The interference should have DQed the Armed Forces. Someone check his credentials, I bet he works for the government. I bet he's CIA or FBI or something. Yeah, I bet that's it. BL: At least the cowboys get to keep the belts. TD: And I'm sure you're ready to volunteer to unbuckle them. OUCH! Ow! Stop! Please... aaak... stop! SR: Good one, Dross. Argh! Pain! Becky, stop that! Ow! Aak! BL: While the boys sort out their particulars, let's move on to our next match. There's been a great deal of bad blood between the IIWF Runtweight Champion, Hakiro Matsuoko, former stablemate Tiger Claw, and the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi. Tonight, that all comes to a head in a special triangle match for the title. Let's get back up to the ring! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TRIANGLE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko vs. Tiger Claw vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi ----------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps back into the ring and shakes the artificial snow out of his hair.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special elimination triangle match for the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship! [Big pop!] Introducing the first challenger... [Thai boxing music starts up over the PA. Big heel pop.] accompanied to the ring by Brian Lau, representing the Syndicate, hailing from Thailand, and weighing in at 220lbs, here is Tiger Claw! [The ushers open the doors at the head of the aisle, and Tiger Claw steps out into the aisle. He walks determinedly down to the ring, with Brian Lau following behind.] TD: Tiger Claw has tasted gold on three separate occasions here in the IIWF, and you can bet he wants to taste it again. BL: Particularly when it means taking it from that turncoat, Matsuoko. RA: And introducing the second challenger: hailing from Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 211lbs, here is the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [The swirling sounds of the Enigma's cosmic entrance music drift out into the arena, which is hushed as the lights dim and a soft blue light illuminates the door at the head of the aisle. The two ushers open the door, and a mist of dry ice illuminated by strobe lasers floods out into the aisle. Through the strobe lighting steps the "Enigma" to a huge pop. He walks calmly down the aisle, keeping his gaze focused on Claw, who stands on the second turnbuckle and signals for Musashi to bring it on. Lau ushers Claw down and gives him a few words of advice as Musashi, his face painted with silver stars, leaps to the apron and then vaults over the ropes with a somersault flip into the ring! Big pop!] TD: The "Enigma" has one of the most impressive win-loss records in the IIWF, and providing his rivalry with Hakiro doesn't lead to him losing his cool, he could well walk out of this match the champion. And there doesn't seem to be too much danger of him losing his cool right at the moment -- he looks calm and focused. SR: Calm and focused on the outside, masking abject terror on the inside, Dross. Musashi's in there with two guys who hate his guts. This isn't going to be a walk in the park for the Enema. TD: That's "Enigma," Steve. SR: Whatever. RA: And finally, introducing the champion: hailing from Tokyo, Japan, and weighing in at 215lbs, here is the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, the "Angel of the Sun" Hakiro Matsuoko! [The lights drop once more, and a sheet of flame, spewed by a row of fireworks mounted on the aisle, shoots up to a huge gasp from the crowd. Through the sheet of flame steps the Cruiserweight Champion, to a mixed reaction. Hakiro stands in front of the flames, and holds his arms up to the sky, before walking to the ring and removing his ceremonial gear. He hands his championship belt to the referee, but before the official can get the match officially underway, Tiger Claw storms in and attacks Hakiro with a kick from behind. The referee hurriedly signals for the bell.] TD: And this one's underway in a hurry! Tiger Claw, of course, attacks from behind. [Claw spins Hakiro around, and is caught by a chop from the champion. He staggers back, and Hakiro leaps into the air, catching Claw with a hard kick to the jaw. Big pop! Claw hits the mat, and immediately rolls to the corner, where he tags in Musashi. The Enigma vaults over the top rope and circles Matsuoko. The two men lock up collar and elbow, with Matsuoko slipping Musashi into a side headlock. Musashi rushes Hakiro into the ropes, and catches him with a clothesline on the rebound. Hakiro kips back up to his feet, and the two men face off once more.] TD: You can practically feel the intense rivalry between these two men! [Hakiro and the Enigma lock up once more, and this time, Musashi manages to execute a legsweep on Hakiro, taking him down to the mat, and attempts to drop an elbow on the champ, but Matsuoko rolls out of the way. Both men are quickly on their feet once more, and instinctively adopt a martial arts stance at each other. Hakiro cracks a smile.] SR: What's he so happy about? TD: I guess this is a very odd feeling for these two athletes, Steve. Remember, Hakiro and the Enigma were sparring partners for many years. They know each other better than just about any other IIWF athletes. [Musashi seems put off-balance by Hakiro's smile, and drops his guard for a moment, which is all Hakiro needs to launch in with a spinning leg kick. Big heel pop! Musashi, stunned, rolls to the outside, where he tries to shake off the cobwebs. Hakiro, meanwhile, bounces off the ropes, and then performs a handspring splash clear over the top rope to the outside, where he lands hard on the Enigma! Huge gasp from the crowd!] TD: Oh my! Have you ever seen a move like that before? SR: Sure. I used to do that kind of thing all the time, before my injury. It's no big deal. Just another flip. BL: Dream on, Stevie. You couldn't even flip a coin. SR: Watch it, Becky. TD: Please, you two, let's try and stay civil... Wow! What a kick! Matsuoko practically took the Enigma's head off with that kick, and Musashi clattered hard against those ringsteps. [Tiger Claw goes round the ring to where Matsuoko stands over the groggy Enigma, and attempts to join in the fray. Matsuoko, however, refuses the assistance, and hits Claw with a shinkick. Claw staggers backwards, and then charges back in, enraged. He hits Matsuoko with a hard right hand, and then traps him in his knee fury. The referee continues to count Musashi and Matsuoko out of the ring as Claw lets Matsuoko drop to the canvas next to the stunned Enigma. Brian Lau directs Claw back to his corner.] BL: This is good strategy by Tiger Claw. I guess if both the Enigma and Matsuoko are counted out, Claw will take home the Cruiserweight title by default. [As the referee's count reaches seven, the Enigma stirs and drags himself to his feet using the ring apron. He rolls back into the ring on the count of eight, and crawls over to the corner to tag Tiger Claw in. Claw, however, refuses to tag the Enigma, instead sending him crashing back to the mat with a hard right.] TD: Tiger Claw certainly seems to have his strategy worked out here. He's quite happy to let those two slug it out until they're easy pickings, and then he'll go in for the kill. SR: When you've got Brian Lau behind you, you have all the brains you need. [While the referee argues with Tiger Claw over hitting the Enigma, Brian Lau sneaks round the ring to where Matsuoko is trying to pull himself back to his feet, and labels him with a series of kicks to the back. Matsuoko arches his back in pain as the crowd jeers Lau, who simply smiles, points to his temples, and then heads back round to Claw's corner.] TD: Oh, yeah, that's real clever, Lau. BL: The Syndicate are masters of the diversionary tactic, Timmy, and they're also the most opportunistic group in the IIWF today. They'll take every advantage they can get their hands on. [The Enigma tries to shake off his cobwebs in the ring while Matsuoko once more drags himself to his feet and rolls back into the ring. He is met by a recovering Enigma, who forces Matsuoko into a corner. He labels the champion with a series of uppercuts, and then whips him across the ring into the opposite corner, where Tiger Claw stands. Hakiro makes the tag to Tiger Claw as the Enigma, who doesn't see the tag, comes flying across the ring with a handspring elbow. He connects with tremendous impact, but is then surprised by Claw, who jumps him from behind, kicking his back. The Enigma staggers out of the corner as Hakiro slumps to the apron and rolls to the outside. Claw kicks the Enigma in the gut, and executes a powerbomb. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - the Enigma kicks out!] TD: That was close! Claw and Matsuoko have clearly retained something of their former teamwork, despite their differences. The Enigma was caught completely by surprise there. [On the outside, Brian Lau once again puts the boot to Hakiro, until the referee catches sight of the manager, and orders him away from the champion. Meanwhile, behind the official's back, Tiger Claw chokes the Enigma on the ropes. The Enigma flails, and is fortunate to catch Claw flush on the jaw with a swing of his elbow. Claw staggers backwards, and with a burst of energy, the Enigma takes the Thai boxer down to the mat, hitting him with a high-impact lariat. The official lays the count on both men.] TD: This match is really taking its toll on all the participants. Finally, Hakiro seems to be recovering on the outside... he's climbing back to the apron. Both the Enigma and Claw need to get out of the ring as soon as possible... who will make the tag to Hakiro? [The crowd chants "Enigma! Enigma!" as Musashi starts to stir on the count of four. He crawls towards the corner where Matsuoko stands, and pulls himself to his feet. The two rivals look each other in the eye, and the Enigma holds out his hand to Matsuoko for the tag. Matsuoko refuses to make the tag, and behind the Enigma, Claw drags himself to his feet. Claw charges into the corner with a sudden burst of energy, and somehow the Enigma senses his approach, dodging out of the way. Claw hits the buckles hard, and is greeted by a hard right hand from Matsuoko. Big pop! The Enigma reaches out for the tag again, and this time, Matsuoko slaps his hand. Together, the Enigma and Matsuoko whip Claw into the ropes, and nearly take his head off with a double clothesline. Big pop! The referee ushers the Enigma out of the ring, and Matsuoko goes straight to work on Claw, dropping an elbow on his former stablemate.] SR: Who would have thought we'd see the Enema and Matsuoko work together? I guess that just proves how far Matsuoko has fallen since he turned his back on the Syndicate. [Hakiro steps between the ropes onto the ring apron, and waits for Claw to stagger to his feet. As Claw gets back to a vertical base, Hakiro leaps to the top rope midway between the turnbuckles, bouncing off with a moonsault attempt. Cameras flash all over the arena! Tiger Claw moves out of the way, but Hakiro lands on his feet and sends Claw flying out of the ring with a Yakuza kick to the throat. Huge pop!] TD: Oh my goodness! That was phenomenal! That moonsault... the impact of that kick... hang on! What's happening? [Suddenly, the lights in the arena drop, and a gong sounds over the PA. There is a commotion at the head of the aisle as a figure bursts past security and runs to the ring, his fists seemingly on fire.] SR: What the hell is going on?! TD: Somebody's coming to the ring -- it looks like his fists are flaming! BL: Well, whoever it is, he won't put his hands in the boiler again. [The figure dashes to the ring and proceeds to attack Hakiro Matsuoko. All that can be seen by the crowd are the wild swings of the fiery fists. Hakiro is hit by blow after blow, whipped into the turnbuckle, choked, and so on.] TD: Fans, I understand that a fuse has blown, and that's why the lighting is down. Bear with us -- we're working on restoring light in the next thirty seconds or so. In the meantime, the Cruiserweight Champion is being assaulted by some mystery nutcase! Get security down here! [After a few more seconds, the lighting rig is illuminated once more, and there is a gasp as the figure is revealed to be the White Phoenix, standing over the stunned carcass of Hakiro Matsuoko. Chow extinguishes the flames on his fists.] SR: What?! TD: It's the White Phoenix! What's going on here?! This crowd can't believe this, and neither can I! [Chow asks for a microphone, and one is passed to him by a ringside attendant. He speaks:] WP: Hakiro, you have interfered with my affairs too often. You call yourself Angel of the Sun, but this name is false, for what is the sun but fire? I am the true Angel of the Sun, a being of flame sent forth to destroy and purify. I would tell you to hurry back to your dressing room, Hakiro, but I'm afraid it's probably too late anyway. [He then pulls a match out from under a sash that he's wearing, places it on the prone Hakiro's chest, and goes to leave the ring. He is confronted by the Enigma, but Chow simply shoves Musashi into the corner before stepping through the ropes and walking away to a mixed reaction from the crowd. As he leaves the ring, he is surrounded by security personnel, who quickly escort him back up the aisle.] TD: Chow just shoved Musashi! Those two have been allies since they joined the IIWF... I really don't know what's going on here, folks. What was that Chow put on Matsuoko's chest? Can we get a shot of that? [Cut to an alternative camera angle, which shows the match on Matsuoko's chest.] TD: A match? What does that mean? Hang on... Larry Morton is backstage with some urgent news of some kind. Larry? [Cut to a split screen: on the left, the referee checks on Matsuoko while Tiger Claw starts to stir outside the ring; on the right, Larry Morton stands in a backstage corridor, and there is a great commotion behind him.] TD: Larry, can you hear me? LM: [putting his finger to his earpiece] Yes, Tim, just about -- but there's a fire back here! One of the locker rooms has been set on fire, and staff are back here trying to control the blaze. The emergency services here on the base have been alerted, and will be here within a couple of minutes. TD: One of the locker rooms is on fire? LM: From the looks of things, it's Hakiro Matsuoko's locker room that's been set on fire. I have no idea whether this is an accidental fire, or a deliberate attack. Thank goodness that Hakiro is in the ring at the moment! TD: Thanks, Larry. Keep us informed. LM: I will, Tim. [Cut back to the ring, where the referee tries to revive Hakiro.] TD: Larry clearly doesn't have any idea that the Phoenix has just come out here and attacked Matsuoko, but it seems that Chow set fire to Hakiro's locker room! I have no idea what this means... BL: I think it means Chow doesn't like Matsuoko very much, Timmy. TD: I know that Chow felt he was passed over for a shot at the Cruiserweight Championship, but that doesn't explain why he would attack Matsuoko... [The referee signals for the bell, and beckons Sparkplug Lee over to the corner. The ring announcer listens to the official, and then makes an announcement:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been informed by the match official that Hakiro Matsuoko is unfit to continue in this encounter. Therefore, he is eliminated from the match, which will continue! [Big confused pop from the crowd.] TD: The referee is allowing this match to continue after Hakiro is laid out like that?! We have seen some awful decisions here tonight, but this is right up there... BL: I guess this means we will now have a new champion, guaranteed. Either Claw or Musashi is going to leave with the Cruiserweight title. TD: This is a highly controversial decision, Becky. I just can't believe what we've seen here. [A medical team comes down to the ring and helps Hakiro from the ring. A close-up shows that he has some nasty blistering on his torso from Chow's burning fists. He is semi-conscious as they place him on a stretcher and roll him back up the aisle.] TD: What a way for a champion's reign to end... [Claw rolls back into the ring, and the referee signals for the Enigma to come in and wrestle. Claw still looks groggy, and the relatively fresh Enigma capitalises, whipping Claw across the ring and hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on the rebound. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Claw kicks out. Musashi snapmares Claw into the corner, and then climbs to the top buckle. He signals for the Starsault Press, but before he is able to execute the move, Brian Lau drags Tiger Claw from the ring. Huge heel pop! The referee leans through the ropes to chastise Lau. The Enigma turns on the top buckle, and launches himself with a front moonsault splash off the top rope, landing hard on both Lau and Claw! Huge pop!] TD: What a move! Lau looks like he's out cold! SR: Disqualify him, ref! He deliberately struck a manager! TD: Some might say that Lau deserved it for interfering in the match so many times, Steve. What goes around, comes around. SR: Yeah, yeah. Why don't you shut up, Dross? TD: I'm paid to talk, Steve. SR: I'll pay you more to shut up. [Musashi drags Claw to his feet and rolls him into the ring. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Claw kicks out! Big heel pop! The Enigma drags his opponent to his feet and whips him into the ropes, hitting him on the rebound with a reverse savate kick. Big pop! Musashi makes the cover again - 1 - 2 - kickout! Musashi drags Claw to his feet and whips him into the corner. He follows in with a handspring elbow, catching Claw at the base of the skull. The Thai boxer hits the mat like a sack of potatoes, and the Enigma once again climbs to the top rope. He signals for the Starsault Press once more, and this time executes the sensational somersault splash! Huge pop! Musashi makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Lau drags himself up to the apron, but is much to late - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The crowd go crazy!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and _new_ IIWF Cruiserweight Champion: the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! SR: I can't believe it! Musashi should have been disqualified when he hit Lau, Dross! What a crock of sh... TD: [interrupting] Please, Steve, there's no need for that. Fans, this must go down in the books as one of the most controversial matches in IIWF history. Without wishing to take anything away from Musashi's tremendous achievement here tonight, the questionable officiating almost played as much a part in the title change as anything the wrestlers did. And as for Shinja Chow's involvement... there are a lot of questions to be answered. [Brian Lau drags Tiger Claw from the ring, and the two men groggily make their way back up the aisle while Musashi receives the Cruiserweight belt from the official. He climbs to the top turnbuckle and holds the golden belt aloft, to the delight of the capacity crowd. Fireworks erupt in the rafters of the arena, showering sparks down on the ring. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: We have a new Cruiserweight Champion, folks! What a match that was... and things are going to get even hotter here in just a few minutes, as we prepare for tonight's main event. Before we get up to the ring to see Dan Kauffman face Deathbringer, let's go backstage to Larry Morton. [Cut to Larry Morton standing backstage in front of a closed door.] LM: Thanks, Tim. Before I say anything else, I am pleased to report that the fire in Hakiro Matsuoko's locker room has now been extinguished, with no injuries, and little damage to the surrounding area. I spoke to the officer in charge of the emergency crew, and he commented that the fire appeared to have been lit expertly. He essentially ruled out the possibility of the fire being started accidentally, and from what I hear went down out there in the arena just a few minutes ago, the White Phoenix must be the prime suspect. However, I understand that Chow has already left the building. The Phoenix recently informed the front office that he will be returning to China for a few weeks after Snow Brawl, and I think he may be travelling a little earlier than planned. In any case, I'm standing here outside the locker room of Deathbringer, who in just a few minutes will face IIWF World Champion Dan Kauffman. We heard from the Champion in the Free For All, and there are some concerns that Dan may be spreading himself too thin, not concentrating enough on the matter at hand, but instead worrying about the Players' Club, Serge Annis, Chris Quigley and Casey James. However, the same cannot be said of Deathbringer, who has not emerged from this locker room all night. I have tried on a number of occasions to get some words from 'Bringer, but he refuses to answer his door. I honestly believe that the dark destroyer is completely focused on defeating Dan Kauffman here at Snow Brawl tonight. We'll find out in just a few moments. Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: I think Larry could have a point there. BL: First time for everything. TD: That's not nice, Becky. Let's get back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dan "Flash" Kauffman vs. Deathbringer ------------------------------------------ [Sparkplug Lee steps into the glare of the spotlight once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's main event! [Big pop!] The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship! [Big pop!] Introducing first, the challenger... ["The Reaper" by Grave Digger starts up over the PA. Huge heel pop! The lights in the arena cut out completely, and rise again less than five seconds later. Sparkplug almost jumps out of his skin when he sees Deathbringer standing directly in front of him. The heel pop is almost deafening.] RA: ...already in the ring, hailing from the dark side, and weighing in at 324lbs, here is the Dark Destroyer... Deathbringer! [The crowd's jeers continue. Deathbringer merely stands with his cold, black eyes focused on the head of the aisle.] TD: This man is the epitome of focus and determination. Nothing can faze the Deathbringer. BL: Except possibly an "everything must go" sale at Casket World, the States' biggest funeral parlour chain store. SR: Were you paid to say that? BL: Of course. Money talks, Stevie baby. TD: I despair of you two. BL: Why? I mean, you're walking around with a bit of product placement for some cheap two-bit second-hand fire-damaged carpet store on your head. TD: Please, can we just leave my hair out of this?! [The crowd's heel pop turns to a mammoth face pop as "Zero" kicks in over the PA. The lights dim, and a large frame adorned with a number of multicoloured lights is lowered above the ring which rotates slightly, casting psychedelic patterns all over the canvas and up the aisle.] RA: And introducing his opponent, coming down the aisle, hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland, and weighing in at 230lbs, here is the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion... Dan "Flash" Kauffman! [The crowd erupts into even louder cheers as the ushers open the doors at the head of the aisle, and Dan Kauffman, wearing his usual wrestling gear and with the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship belt slung over his shoulder, steps out into the aisle. He stops and stands, looking out into the sea of faces. Behind him, twin rocket fireworks ignite and shoot up into the rafters of the converted hangar, where they seem to set off a chain reaction with other fireworks. The building practically shakes with the force of the multitude of pyrotechnic explosions.] TD: Just listen to this crowd! Dan Kauffman really has the support of these fans! SR: And these morons have clearly all been collecting their tokens off the back of the official Dan Kauffman cereal packets for free lobotomies. TD: Please, Steve. The IIWF has fans quite unlike those of any other wrestling organisation in the world! SR: Yeah, the combined IQ of all the fans in this arena doesn't even add up to three. Mind you, that's a damned sight more intelligent than those two unemployed bums, the Universal Losers. TD: Please, Steve. You know we're not supposed to mention them on air. [Kauffman nods with satisfaction at the fans before focusing his eyes on the towering form of Deathbringer, who still stands stock still in the ring, his gaze unceasingly on the champion. Kauffman begins his walk to the ring, buffetted by the eager hands of the fans on either side of the aisle. He finally arrives at ringside, and steps up onto the ring apron without taking his gaze off Deathbringer. Still unblinking, he hands his belt to a ringside attendant, before stepping between the ropes and into the ring. He squares up to Deathbringer, and stands just a few inches away from the big man, looking up into his masked face.] TD: This is a scene we've seen three times before. Neither of these men will back down -- who will make the first move? [As if anticipating each other, both men step backwards at exactly the same moment, and lock up collar and elbow. Kauffman immediately uses his speed advantage to twist 'Bringer's arm round behind his back into a hammerlock. 'Bringer fumbles behind him with his other arm, but is unable to snag Kauffman. Kauffman pushes Deathbringer forward into the ropes, releases the hammerlock, and leaps up into the air with a flying headscissors as the big man comes back. Kauffman flips 'Bringer across the ring! Huge pop! The dark destroyer is immediately back on his feet, but is met by a hard flying clothesline from Kauffman which staggers him against the ropes. Kauffman makes another charge, this time launching himself with a dropkick, which knocks Deathbringer over the top rope to the outside! Big pop! Deathbringer, however, lands cat-like on his feet, and immediately climbs back to the apron. Kauffman is waiting, and slides out of the ring beside the big man, spinning round and yanking his legs, pulling Deathbringer down to the arena floor. The man from the dark side hits his head on the apron as he comes, and stumbles to one knee. Kauffman kicks Deathbringer in the head, and rams him into the steel crowd barriers. Big pop!] TD: This is a very determined Dan Kauffman we're seeing out here thus far! 'Bringer hasn't been able to get any offense in whatsoever! SR: It won't last, Dross. Deathbringer can take a licking -- and he doesn't just come back ticking. He explodes right in your face. BL: Is that what those Swiss watches do, too? TD: No, Becky. Who'd want a watch that explodes in your face? BL: Might do Larry Morton some good. [Kauffman continues to use ringside objects to his advantage, throwing his opponent against the ringsteps, ramming his head into the apron, and even grabbing the cord from one of the TV cameras and wrapping it around the big man's neck, choking him. The referee leaves the ring and warns Kauffman, but Dan refuses to relinquish his grip on the cable. Eventually the official forces the champion away, and while the referee tries to disentangle Deathbringer, Kauffman stomps the challenger's midsection. Kauffman drags Deathbringer to his feet and rolls him back into the ring under the bottom rope. Before Kauffman can follow him, however, Deathbringer sits bolt upright and gets to his feet, much to the dismay of the crowd. Kauffman simply smiles grimly and jumps to the apron. Deathbringer takes a swipe at the champion, who ducks underneath and slides into the ring between Deathbringer's legs. The challenger spins around, and is met by a series of hard right hands. Kauffman attempts to whip 'Bringer across the ring, but the big man reverses and sends Kauffman into the ropes. Kauffman attempts a dropkick, but Deathbringer puts on the brakes, and Kauffman crashes to the mat. Big heel pop! Deathbringer is straight on top of Kauffman, applying a painful nerve hold.] TD: Kauffman doesn't want to stay in this nerve hold for long. Deathbringer is putting tremendous pressure on the trapezius nerve with this move, and the pain is literally paralysing. BL: Rather like the boredom of sitting next to you two all evening. I want some servicemen up here to... service me, if you know what I mean. TD: I don't even want to think about it... Hang on... [There is a buzz in the crowd as a figure appears at the head of the aisle, bursting through the doors and sending the two ushers flying. Big heel pop as the figure turns out to be Serge Annis, who storms down to the ring with a very angry look on his face. Annis leaps straight to the apron, and shouts insults at Kauffman. The referee immediately orders him back down to the arena floor, and Annis begrudgingly obliges, but he continues to loiter, shouting abuse at the champion, who is fading as he stays trapped in Deathbringer's nerve hold.] TD: What does Serge Annis want out here? SR: Well, duh! He's out here for Kauffman's blood, Dross! What did you think?! TD: If he wants Kauffman's blood, why didn't he attack him just then? BL: Perhaps he's waiting for the right moment. Like when the referee isn't looking, say. [The crowd begin to chant, "Kauff - man! Kauff - man!" and slowly, the champion begins to stir in the hold. He manages to force himself to his knees, and lashes out behind him with his elbows. His right elbow catches Deathbringer in his lower abdomen, and Kauffman is able to escape the nerve hold. Both men stagger to their feet, and a slugfest ensues in the centre of the ring. Kauffman blocks a right from the big man, and fires back with a kick to the gut of his own. He attempts to lift 'Bringer into a piledriver, but he is too weak to haul the 324lbs monster into the air. Bringer instead charges Kauffman into the corner, and proceeds to pummel the champion with forearm blows and chops. Kauffman is unable to escape, and the referee lays the count on Deathbringer. He reaches the count of four before 'Bringer takes a step back, but before Kauffman can escape, 'Bringer lashes out with a vicious barrage of kicks, beating Kauffman down so that he lies cowering in the corner under the force of the attack. The referee again lays the count on 'Bringer, and the challenger breaks on the count of four. The official warns the big man while Kauffman rolls out of the ring to try and collect himself. Serge Annis eyes the champion.] TD: Uh-oh. This could mean big trouble for Kauffman. [Fortunately, the referee turns to see Annis before he is able to approach Kauffman. Serge holds up his hands and smirks as Deathbringer leaves the ring. He continues to put the boots to Kauffman before dragging him to his feet and whipping him along the ringside area into the steel ringsteps at the other side. Kauffman hits the steps with a tremendous crash, dislodging the upper half of the steps, and landing sprawled up against the steel steel crowd barriers. Big heel pop! 'Bringer stalks over to Kauffman and picks up one half of the steps. He wields them above his head.] TD: No! Deathbringer's going to smash Kauffman's skull between the barrier and those steps! [There is a huge crash as Deathbringer brings the steps smashing down on the crowd barrier, but Kauffman dodges out of the way. He crawls into the aisle and tries to get to his feet. 'Bringer stalks after him and drags him to his feet. Kauffman fires out at the challenger with a weak right hand, but 'Bringer is undeterred. The referee's count reaches eight, and Serge Annis jumps up onto the apron to distract the official, breaking the count.] TD: Why is Annis breaking the count?! I don't understand his motives here... SR: Nobody does, except Annis himself, Dross... and sometimes it's not exactly clear that he knows what he's doing, either. BL: He's sounding more and more like Larry Morton all the time. [Deathbringer presses Kauffman above his head, and then drops him throatfirst across the steel crowd barriers! Huge heel pop! Kauffman clutches at his throat.] SR: This is great! Deathbringer's got 'em rolling in the aisles! TD: That's not funny, Steve. Kauffman could suffer a collapsed windpipe through a move like that! [There is another big heel pop as a second figure appears at the head of the aisle. With camera in hand, Casey "Blackheart" James steps out into the arena.] TD: Oh no! All of Kauffman's demons are coming out to haunt him one by one here. This is very bad news indeed for the champion. [Deathbringer picks Kauffman up and throws him back towards the ring, hitting as many ringside objects as possible on the way. Eventually, 'Bringer rolls Kauffman back into the ring, and follows him back in himself, dropping an elbow on the downed champion. Casey James, meanwhile, makes his way down the aisle, and hops up onto the ring apron, pointing his camera at Kauffman, who writhes with pain on the canvas. The referee gets in Casey's face, and warns him to get down, allowing Deathbringer to apply a blatant choke on the champion. The crowd is shocked as Serge Annis walks over to where Casey stands on the apron, and pulls him to the arena floor. The two men get in each other's faces. Harsh words are exchanged.] TD: _Now_ what's going on?! Don't tell me that Annis is actually sticking up for Kauffman?! SR: Who does Annis think he is, attacking Casey James?! [Annis and James become even more animated, and eventually Annis lashes out with a haymaker, triggering a wild brawl between the two men. Casey cracks Annis across the temple with his video camera, which staggers the "Epitome of Evil", but is unable to keep him down for long. Annis dives at Casey from behind, clipping his knee and sending him with force to the concrete floor. Big pop! Casey and Annis roll on the floor, each man trying to get the upper hand in the brawl. Within a few moments, a contingency of security staff descend upon the brawl and fight to separate the two men, while dragging them away up the aisle. Occasionally, both men break free of their escorts, and exchange a few more blows. Casey is eventually escorted from the arena, yelling abuse at the security guards, and Annis is also forced to leave, screaming at the camera before disappearing, "You owe me one, Kauffman! You owe me one!"] TD: What on earth was that about?! BL: How can you be so clueless, Dross? Annis thinks he just saved Kauffman from Casey James, and therefore, ol' Danny boy owes him one. SR: Of course, Casey wasn't out here to attack Kauffman... just to get a few more magic moments for his video diary. TD: I don't believe that for one moment. Meanwhile, it's been all Deathbringer in the ring. Kauffman is going to have to mount some kind of comeback very soon, or he'll be pinned by the big man. [In the ring, Deathbringer whips Kauffman into the ropes, and bounces off the opposite side himself, attempting his Scythe flying clothesline. However, Kauffman rolls underneath the flying lariat, and Deathbringer hits the mat hard, his momentum carrying him out of the ring on the opposite side under the bottom rope. Kauffman pulls himself to his feet to a big pop, and then throws himself over the top rope onto the staggered Deathbringer! Huge pop!] TD: Wow! Kauffman still has some offense in him, despite all the punishment he's taken in the last few minutes. Hang on -- I'm told that Larry Morton is trying to get some words with Casey James... [Cut to split screen: on the left, Kauffman continues to beat on Deathbringer; on the right, Larry Morton stands backstage.] LM: Yes, Tim... I'm just outside of the locker room area, and... Here he comes now! Casey! What was that we just saw? What were you doing down at ringside? What happened between you and Serge Annis? CJ: Is it _really_ that hard to figure out, you little worm? Kauffman and I are going to meet in that ring, and I didn't want him to have any excuses. I went down there to make sure Kauffman wasn't injured. I want Dan to be at 100% in our match. I haven't gone through all this trouble just to have Kauffman in a position to pass me by because his body is broken and battered. Breaking and battering bodies are _my_ job. Serge Annis -- don't get in my way again, friend, or you're going to buy a one-way ticket to a whole new world of hurt. LM: Aren't you worried about having too much on your plate? First Onslaught, then Brody Thunder, and now Serge Annis. I'm sure he's not going to be happy about what you did. CJ: It's not my job to make people happy. If Annis has a problem with me, then so be it. He can reflect on the fact that he shouldn't have been out there while he's at it. You know, Larry, you don't spend months being the "law and order of the IIWF" and not know the rules. LM: You? Respecting the rules? CJ: I never said I respected them. I just happen to know what they are. Annis isn't my concern right now. What _is_ my concern is facing Dan Kauffman at the earliest opportunity. I've been laughed at in the past, and I've been called a lower-class talent. It's time for the entire world to look at me with respect, because I'm going to have that big shiny gold belt around my waist by the time I'm done with Kauffman. I just hope he's a better challenge than Brandon Bennett was. LM: I can't believe you. CJ: I don't care what you believe. Khaos, see you in the ring! [Casey storms out of shot. Cut back to a normal shot of live action. Kauffman rolls Deathbringer back into the ring and vaults over the top rope, hitting the big man with a legdrop as he lands on the inside. He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: So both Annis _and_ Casey James were at ringside... to _protect_ Kauffman?! This is ridiculous. SR: It's certainly slightly unexpected, Dross, but both of these men want Kauffman to be at 100% when they finally get the chance to clash, and we all know that Deathbringer has ended so many careers, you'd be hard pressed to count them. Kauffman could be just seconds away from joining the ranks of the great unnumbered. TD: Kauffman's in control at the moment, Steve... he's got a tight reverse chinlock on the big man, and Deathbringer's in the centre of the ring with nowhere to go. [Kauffman yanks on the chinlock, trying to get as much leverage as possible. There is another pop as a third figure appears in the aisle. The crowd's buzz turns into a loud cheer as it becomes apparent that the latest intruder is none other than "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley.] SR: Here's another member of Dan Kauffman's fan club. TD: Kauffman can't afford to be distracted by Quigley's presence here, but you know that Quigley's constant baiting of the champion is eating him up inside. [Quigley walks slowly down the aisle, ignoring the hands of the eager fans on either side. Kauffman sees Quigley approach the ring, and flashes him a cold glare. Quigley keeps his eyes on the champion. Kauffman releases the chinlock, and argues with the referee, wanting Quigley dismissed from ringside. However, he is nailed from behind by Deathbringer, who storms in and clubs Kauffman on the back of the head. Kauffman tumbles forwards into the turnbuckles, and 'Bringer softens him up with a few more forearm blows before lifting him up onto the top turnbuckle. The big man also climbs up the buckles, setting Kauffman up for a superplex. Dan jabs his opponent's rib area in an effort to free himself. With one hard blow, he manages to send 'Bringer crashing to the canvas in the ring. Kauffman positions himself on the top rope, and launches himself with a legdrop attempt -- but 'Bringer sits bolt upright at the last moment, and Kauffman only hits mat! Big heel pop!] TD: No! This could be it for the champion! Deathbringer makes the cover... One! Two! Th-- No! Kauffman got a shoulder up! Boy, was that close! We were just a fraction of a second away from having a new champion right there! BL: Calm down, Timmy. [Deathbringer hauls Dan Kauffman up onto his shoulder in position for a Tombstone piledriver, but Kauffman wriggles his legs, and manages to get his foot hooked on the top rope as Deathbringer struggles to hold the champion. Deathbringer leans backwards, and lets go of Kauffman, sending him flying to the outside of the ring! Huge heel pop! 'Bringer follows Kauffman to the outside, and shoves one of the ringside officials off his chair. He wields the chair above his head, but just as he is about to bring it crashing down on Kauffman, it is grabbed by Chris Quigley! Huge pop! Quigley kicks Deathbringer, forcing him to release the chair, and as the dark destroyer spins around, Chris nails him straight on the head with the chair. The referee signals for the bell. Ding! Ding! Ding! The crowd go nuts!] TD: Wow! Did you hear that impact! Quigley practically bent that chair in two over 'Bringer's head right there! What's the official word here? RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Kauffman has been disqualified due to outside interference... [Huge heel pop!] Therefore, your winner, as the result of a disqualification, Deathbringer! [The referee tries to get inbetween the three men on the outside of the ring as Sparkplug continues.] RA: However, championships cannot change hands on a disqualification. Therefore, _still_ IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Dan Kauffman! [Big pop! A security team arrives at ringside to try and keep the three athletes apart. Deathbringer is forced away from ringside and into the aisle, until there is a loud crash, as if a thunderbolt had hit the arena, and the lights drop completely. A few seconds later, when they rise, Deathbringer has gone, leaving five bewildered security guards standing in the aisle.] TD: I don't know what to make of what we've seen here, folks. Chris Quigley came to Kauffman's aid, but cost him the match. SR: And we all know why, Dross. Quigley may have cost Kauffman the match, but he saved the title, and Quigley wants to get his hands on that gold belt. He knows he stands a better chance of taking it from "Hot air" Kauffman than a real athlete like Deathbringer, so he cheats the grim reaper out of his rightful victory. TD: I guess we'll never know whether Kauffman would have beaten Deathbringer here tonight... Kauffman's back on his feet... and he's not at all happy with Quigley! [Kauffman gets in Quigley's face, and the two men exchange a few words before security staff manage to pull them apart. Quigley puts his hands up to them, and walks up the aisle of his own accord to a mixed pop. Kauffman, meanwhile, still groggy from his fall, is helped back up the aisle. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: What a match that was, folks! Deathbringer and Dan Kauffman have wrestled some of the most physical matches in IIWF history, and tonight's was no exception. But we were robbed of a conclusive finish... SR: ...and Deathbringer was robbed of the title. TD: Well, folks, we now know that Dan Kauffman will be the IIWF Champion on January 4, when the winner of the upcoming battle royal will get his shot. Quigley, Annis and James are all included in this over the top rope war, and you can bet that all three, and the other ten men in the event, will be striving to survive in order to earn that priceless opportunity to face Dan Kauffman. The last man eliminated -- the runner-up -- will earn a shot at Steve Kowalski, the new Intercontinental Champion, on the same night. What a match this proves to be! Let's get back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- LETHAL LOTTERY SURVIVORS BATTLE ROYAL: winner becomes #1 contender to World Title runner-up becomes #1 contender to Intercontinental Title -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Subway Psycho vs. Mad Dog Watkins vs. Lord Byron vs. Harlequin Tragedy vs. Cheshire vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah vs. Steve Kowalski vs. Otto Verhoeven vs. Marty Warnett vs. American Patriot vs. Casey James vs. Brody Thunder -------------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the spotlight once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's final attraction is the special Lethal Lottery Survivors Battle Royal! Thirteen men will begin in the ring, and the match will continue until twelve have been eliminated by going over the top rope and to the arena floor. The last man standing will be declared the winner, and will receive a shot at the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion on January 4. The runner-up will receive a shot at the IIWF Intercontinental Champion on the same night. [Pop!] RA: Introducing the participants: coming down the aisle, accompanied by Medusa Rage, here is Dirt Dog Unique Allah! [Mixed pop for Unique as he staggers out into the aisle. He occasionally resorts to leaning on Medusa to keep himself upright.] TD: Dirt Dog is a far wilier wrestler than he might initially appear. We don't know how much of this staggering around is part of an act to lull his opponents into a false sense of security. SR: If you want to find out for sure, try smelling his breath, Dross. It's enough to kill an elephant at a hundred paces. BL: I don't rate Unique's chances here. He's so out of it, he'll be easy pickings for one of the bigger guys in the battle royal. RA: Coming down the aisle, accompanied by the Lady DeWinter, here is Lord Byron! [Big heel pop as Byron walks out into the aisle, still carrying his cane but otherwise only in his wrestling attire. The Lady DeWinter follows closely behind, looking with disdain at the fans.] TD: A strong performance from Byron earlier on tonight bodes well for this battle royal. SR: I really think Byron has to be one of the favourites here, Dross. [Byron climbs the ringsteps and stands across the ring from where Dirt Dog lurches on the ropes.] RA: Making his way to the ring, here is the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski! [Kowalski appears at the head of the aisle, holding the Intercontinental Championship strap aloft. Huge heel pop from the crowd.] TD: Kowalski has already wrestled two gruelling matches tonight. I can't believe that he even wants to be in this battle royal, but here he is nonetheless. BL: One thing about Kowalski -- he doesn't back down from a fight. Even against twelve other guys. [Kowalski climbs into the ring and flaunts his new strap at both Byron and Unique. He refuses to relinquish hold of the belt to the referee.] RA: On his way down the aisle, here is the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder! [Big heel pop for Thunder, who simply heads straight for the ring, ignoring the jeers of the fans.] TD: This man is all business both in and out of the ring. He's going to be focused on this battle royal, and to my mind, he could go all the way. SR: Look at him get in Kowalski's face, Dross! TD: The referee is holding them apart... The match could start early here! RA: Making his way to the ring, here is the American Patriot! [Big pop for the huge 285lbs, 6'11" athlete as he makes his way down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans as he comes.] BL: Now if this guy wasn't such a big wet, he could be a contender here. TD: I'm not sure that big men have the advantage in matches like this one, Becky. The bigger they are, the easier they are to topple out of the ring. RA: Next, coming down the aisle, here is Mad Dog Watkins! [Big heel pop for Watkins as he appears from the door at the head of the aisle. With a confident smile on his face, he walks straight down to the rapidly-filling ring.] TD: Watkins has been highly impressive since arriving here in the IIWF. He's a very powerful competitor with a great deal of resilience. He could pull this one out of the hat. SR: I agree, Dross. He's a big man, but he knows his way round the ring like the back of his hand. RA: Making his way down to the ring, here is Marty Warnett! [Huge pop as Marty Warnett hobbles out into the aisle. He is favouring his braced right leg slightly, and although his face has been cleaned up, the gouges from the studs on Stetson's Superstar belt are apparent. He still manages to smile for the fans and hi-five them as he makes his way to the ring.] TD: Warnett's taken a great deal of punishment tonight. I'm not sure that he's going to have enough left to survive in a match as punishing as this. SR: There's no doubt, Dross. Walnut's going to go over that top rope right at the start. He doesn't stand a chance. BL: I have to agree with Steve, Timmy. Walnut has improved a great deal in recent weeks, but he's beset by injuries... and besides, he's still just a Welsh idiot. TD: There's no need for that, you two. RA: Introducing next, coming down the aisle, here is Cheshire! [Mixed reaction for the bizarre clown as he jumps out of the door with a somersault and lands, arms outstretched, at the head of the aisle. He giggles, and his eyes widen as he looks at the ring full of wrestlers. Like a gymnast, he backflips his way down the aisle.] TD: I think Cheshire might be better advised to save his energy for the match itself. SR: This guy is just too weird. He laughs when people hit him?! BL: I know quite a few guys like that. TD: I'm sure you do, Becky. RA: Making his way down the aisle, here is Harlequin Tragedy! [Moderate pop for Tragedy as he appears at the head of the aisle. He is still wearing his steel mask.] TD: Tragedy probably shouldn't be wrestling following his injury earlier this week, but that mask could give him an advantage in this match. SR: There's no way that multi-coloured moron should be allowed to wrestle with a steel mask! TD: The referees have ruled that the mask is within the regulations for protective headwear, so that's all there is to it. RA: Introducing next, the German juggernaut, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [Big heel pop as Verhoeven and Heidi come out into the aisle, furious looks on their faces. They quickly make their way down to the ring, badmouthing the fans and the other wrestlers.] BL: Here's the man who's going to win this battle royal. TD: I don't know, Becky. He looks very angry, and he might be more focused on getting his hands on the Subway Psycho than winning this match. RA: Coming down the aisle, here is Casey "Blackheart" James! [Another big heel pop as Casey James appears at the head of the aisle and saunters down to the ring, an evil smirk on his face.] TD: Casey James is determined to win this battle royal and earn a shot at Dan Kauffman. With his recent form, he's not a man I'd like to bet against. SR: The field sure is close, Dross. Just about any of these guys could take the victory. RA: Introducing next, the #1 seed for this battle royal, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [Huge pop as Quigley steps out into the aisle. He has an air of confidence about him as he walks directly to the ring, allowing the eager fans on either side of the aisle to touch him.] TD: And here's another man I wouldn't bet against. However, he still has unfinished business with Otto Verhoeven, and even though Quigley is completely focused on winning this match to earn his shot against Kauffman, the Butcher may not feel the same. SR: Quigley doesn't stand a chance in there, Dross. He's a lot smaller than guys like Thunder, Watkins, Casey, Verhoeven and Kowalski, and he'll be one of their prime targets. Look for them to try and eliminate Quigley early on. RA: And finally, here is the "People's Champion", the Subway Psycho! [Sparkplug is forced to exit the ring in a hurry as the Psycho sprints down the aisle to a huge pop. He hits the ring like a whirlwind, and immediately begins brawling with Otto Verhoeven. The bell rings to signal the start of the match, and within moments, all thirteen men are brawling in the ring. The Psycho and Verhoeven club each other with hard right hands, and they end up against the ropes, where each man vies to eliminate the other. Sensing the opportunity, Brody Thunder, Casey James and Mad Dog Watkins grab Verhoeven and the Psycho by the legs, and topple them over the top rope to the outside! Big pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the Subway Psycho and Otto Verhoeven have been eliminated! TD: Wow! Those two have been dumped out of the ring in a hurry -- and they don't seem to care! Look at them go at it! [Both men continue to brawl outside the ring. The Psycho rams Verhoeven into the steel railings, and Verhoeven retaliates by whipping the Psycho against the ringsteps. A number of referees surround the warring athletes, and try to separate them. A security team tries to drag them both up the aisle, but they break free from the human shields, and continue to go at it back to the locker room. Meanwhile, in the ring, Steve Kowalski undoes the IC belt which he still has round his waist, and begins clocking wrestlers with it. First Brody Thunder goes down, then Cheshire, then Mad Dog Watkins. Finally, Kowalski uses the belt to catch Harlequin Tragedy under the jaw with the belt, and Tragedy tumbles over the top rope to the outside.] RA: Harlequin Tragedy has been eliminated! TD: I can't believe this! Kowalski shouldn't be allowed to have that belt in there with him! SR: Yeah? And who's going to tell _him_ that?! [Thundre, Cheshire and Watkins get groggily to their feet, and approach Kowalski, who simply jumps over the top rope, all the way to the arena floor. Big heel pop!] TD: Kowalski just eliminated himself! RA: Steve "the Fury" Kowalski has been eliminated! SR: Smart move by Kowalski -- go in there, cause a little havoc, and then get out before payback. TD: Kowalski looks very pleased with himself, but now he's got that Intercontinental Championship belt in his possession, he's going to be a marked man. [Kowalski holds his arms aloft, and smirks as he backs away from the ring, from which his victims shout abuse down at him. He heads up the aisle, badmouthing the crowd. Meanwhile, in the ring, Marty Warnett goes at it with Lord Byron, and their skirmish is broken up when Dirt Dog nails Warnett from behind. Casey James brawls with Chris Quigley, and the American Patriot is choked out by Brody Thunder. Marty Warnett is beaten into the corner by Dirt Dog, until he suddenly switches places, and begins pummelling Allah with punches to the midsection. However, his bad knee is clipped from behind by Lord Byron, and Warnett hits the mat. The American Patriot fights to his feet, and is whipped across the ring by Thunder, colliding hard with Cheshire on the other side of the ring. There is a sickening crack of skulls as the Patriot hits the clown, who tumbles over the top rope to the outside!] RA: Cheshire has been eliminated! TD: Wow! Did you hear those heads collide there?! And look at Cheshire! He's on his feet, laughing like a madman! BL: I tell you, that Cheshire is _seriously_ deranged. [The American Patriot holds his head, and staggers into the ring. He is floored by a big clothesline by Thunder. Big pop! Thunder drags the Patriot to his feet, and along with Mad Dog Watkins, the Patriot finds himself hauled to the ropes and dumped over to the outside! Big heel pop!] RA: The American Patriot has been eliminated! TD: A disappointment for the big newcomer there. He was unfortunate to have collided with Cheshire like that... and he paid for it. SR: I knew he never stood a chance, Dross. [Dirt Dog sticks a thumb in Lord Byron's eye, and that angers the blueblood. Byron whips Allah across the ring, and backdrops him with a great deal of elevation. Allah tumbles into the ropes, but manages to drag himself back into the ring before both feet touch the floor. Byron, meanwhile, tries to force Dirt Dog out of the ring by choking him and kicking him, but he is upended by Marty Warnett, who sends Byron over the top rope to the floor! Huge pop!] RA: Lord Byron has been eliminated! TD: Seven men have already been eliminated in this match! The action is truly fast and furious here tonight at Snow Brawl! [Brody Thunder and Mad Dog Watkins slug it out, and Casey James floors Chris Quigley with a clothesline, before stomping on the downed Canadian. Marty Warnett continues to slug it out with Dirt Dog Unique Allah, dragging the drunkard to his feet. He whips Allah across the ring, and hits him with a clothesline on the rebound. Allah rolls to the outside, and as Warnett stands at the ropes, yelling down at the Dirt Dog, he is upended from behind by Mad Dog Watkins. Amazingly, Warnett keeps hold of the ropes, and rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope, but he is viciously stomped by Watkins. Meanwhile, Quigley fights to his feet and whips Casey into the ropes, hitting him with a hard knee to the midsection on the rebound. Casey goes through 360 degrees, and hits the mat with force. As Warnett fights to his feet, slugging it out with Watkins, Dirt Dog sneaks back into the ring behind Marty, and chokes him with some tape from his wrists! Big heel pop!] TD: It's chaos in there! SR: Just the way I like it. Get him, Dirt Dog! [Warnett lashes out with an elbow, catching Allah and staggering him against the ropes. Warnett spins round and clotheslines Allah out of the ring to the outside! However, his own momentum also carries him over, and he narrowly avoids eliminating himself. Big pop! Warnett rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope.] RA: Dirt Dog Unique Allah has been eliminated! [Warnett drags himself to his feet, and Mad Dog Watkins charges him. Warnett slumps to the mat, and Watkins tumbles over the top rope to the outside! Huge pop!] RA: Mad Dog Watkins has been eliminated! SR: I can't believe it! TD: Nor can Watkins! Look at him! [Watkins beats his hands on the apron in frustration, and tries to climb back into the ring, but is restrained by a number of officials. A security team makes its way down to ringside to drag Watkins away. In the ring, Brody Thunder attacks Chris Quigley, and Casey James turns his attention to Marty Warnett. All four men brawl in opposite corners of the ring. Thunder and James attempt to whip Quigley and Warnett into a collision in centre ring, but Warnett and Quigley reverse, sending Thunder and James crashing into one another. Warnett catches Thunder in a back suplex, dumping him on his head, and Quigley floors James with a clothesline. Warnett drags Thunder to his feet, and whips him across the ring towards Quigley, who performs a hiptoss takeover on Thunder, sending him flying over the top rope to the outside! Huge pop!] RA: "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder has been eliminated! TD: We're down to three men! This doesn't look good for Casey James! [Warnett and Quigley drag Casey to his feet and whip him into the ropes. Casey ducks under a doubleclothesline attempt, and fires back with a flying double clothesline of his own. Quigley gets back to his feet, pulling himself back up using the ropes, and Casey charges in. Quigley ducks, and Casey tumbles over the top rope. Amazingly, he manages to keep his balance, and lands on the apron. He grabs Quigley from behind and suplexes "Quickstrike" out of the ring to the outside! Huge pop! Casey just manages to keep hold of the ropes before he too tumbles to the outside. He falls through the ropes back into the ring.] RA: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley has been eliminated! TD: I can't believe it! What a suplex! Quigley really landed hard out there -- he hit his head on that crowd barrier! So we know that Casey James and Marty Warnett will be getting the title shots -- but who's going to get the World title shot? [Suddenly, there is a commotion as "Superstar" Stud Stetson dashes down the aisle to a huge heel pop.] TD: No! Not Stetson! SR: Oh yes! Now we're going to see Warnett get his! [In the ring, the exhausted Warnett has his back to the aisle, and his attention is focused on Casey, not on Stetson's presence at ringside. He drags Casey James to his feet, and attempts to whip him into the ropes, but Casey reverses, and sends Marty for the ride. Stetson pulls down the top rope as Marty hits them, causing him to topple out of the ring to the floor! Huge heel pop! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Marty Warnett has been eliminated! Therefore, your winner, and #1 contender to the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship: Casey "Blackheart" James! [Huge heel pop! On the outside, Stetson stomps on the exhausted Warnett, and his stretcher crew comes down to the ring. Meanwhile, the equally tired Casey raises his arms in victory to the hostile crowd.] TD: I don't believe it! Both men are really winners here, since they both get the chance at capturing IIWF gold in just two weeks time, but I can't help but feel that Warnett has been cheated out of a match of a lifetime against Dan Kauffman. What a performance from Warnett here at Snow Brawl! SR: But look how it's ended -- he's being brutalised by Stetson out there! This is great! [Stetson drags Warnett to his feet, and slams him onto the stretcher. Warnett struggles, but Stetson quickly straps his victim down, before pushing the stretcher into the ring steps! Huge heel pop! Quickly, a security team dashes down to the ring, attempting to drag Stetson away from Warnett. Eventually, Stetson walks away without a fight, his arms raised, laughing at the jeers of the crowd. Meanwhile, the ringside officials free Warnett from the restraints of the stretcher, and the party maniac, despite his exhaustion, is sufficiently riled to stagger up the aisle in pursuit of his assailant.] BL: Walnut just doesn't know when he's beat, does he? TD: He's got a pugnacious... BL: [interrupting] Bless you. TD: No, Becky, I wasn't sneezing. I was trying to comment that Warnett really has the heart of a fighter beating in that chest of his. SR: The only thing beating in Warnett's chest is Stud Stetson's fist, Dross, and that's the way it should be! TD: Well, despite yet another so-called Superstar attack, Warnett will go on to battle Steve "the Fury" Kowalski on January 4, and that man in the ring, Casey "Blackheart" James, will finally get a match against Dan Kauffman on the same night. [Casey James climbs to the turnbuckles and raises his arms to the crowd once more. The heel pop becomes even louder as Brian Lau, Tiger Claw and the Dark Disciples make their way down to the ring to join in his celebrations. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: It's not been a bad night for the Syndicate -- the Dark Disciples also earned the chance to face the High Plains Drifters for the IIWF World Tag Team Championships in two weeks' time earlier on tonight in that tag team battle royal. SR: Never bet against the Syndicate, Dross. Brian Lau finds a way to get what he wants. Rather like Becky, I suppose. BL: Hey, less of that, Roberts, or I'll reinjure that back of yours. SR: Chance would be a fine thing, baby. TD: [interrupting] What an event it's been! Fans, we're right out of time here from the Armstrong US Air Force Base in Anchorage, Alaska. Thanks for joining us here for Snow Brawl! For my broadcast colleagues Becky LaRue, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, and Larry Morton, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut to the Syndicate celebrating their victory in the ring. Pull out to a wide-angle shot showing the sea of fans. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+