.------------------------------------------------------------------. | From the revolutionary force in e-wrestling entertainment! | `------------------------------------------------------------------' ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### ## ###### ###### ###### ###### F ###### # # # # # # # # # # # ###### ######## ###### ######### O ######### # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ###### ###### R # # ###### ###### # # .-------------------------------------------------------------------. | LiVE + Saturday 21 December 1996 + LiVE | | US Air Force Base, Anchorage, Alaska | `-------------------------------------------------------------------' [The opening graphics fade through to aerial shots of the US Air Force Base at Anchorage, Alaska. Searchlights arranged around the converted hangar throw beams of light into the dark sky, while three helicopters hover overhead, each also bearing a searchlight, which pick out the last few members of the crowd as they arrive at the hangar. The ground is covered in snow, and in the distance, the open icy plains of the Alaskan landscape stretch out into the inky blackness.] TD: [voice over] Welcome everybody to Anchorage, Alaska! Welcome everybody to the United States Air Force Base! Welcome to the IIWF's Free For All! [Cut to interior footage of the hangar, which has been converted into a twelve-thousand seat arena. The ring is placed centrally in a large enclosure, and is coloured in shades of a frosty blue. Suspended above the ring is a huge lighting rig, from which hang a myriad lights, which cast their multicoloured beams over the excited crowd. The head of the aisle is decorated in a wintry theme, with the video wall apparently covered in snow, and the entranceway closed off by a pair of doors attended by two doormen. Pan down past row upon row of excited fans, many of whom are waving homemade signs and wearing official IIWF merchandise, until the shot comes to rest on the broadcast table situated in the ringside enclosure, in front of which stand the trio of Tim Dross, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts and Becky LaRue.] TD: Good evening, folks, and welcome to the Free For All! I'm Tim Dross, and I am joined at ringside by my broadcast colleagues, the lovely Becky LaRue, and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. We are now less than an hour away from Snow Brawl, the Lethal Lottery and those Championship matches, fans, and the capacity crowd here in this converted hangar is ready for action! SR: I'm amazed anybody bothered to turn up tonight, Dross. Alaska is just about the closest thing to a complete wasteland that I have ever seen -- apart from the top of your head when you're not wearing that embarrassing rug, of course. TD: Starting early on the hair gags tonight, Steve? I have to disagree. Alaska is one of the most beautiful states in our great nation, with some of the most wonderful wildlife in the world. BL: Well, if you're looking for wildlife, you've come to the right place. SR: You sure have. Coming up, we're going to see a couple of chicks go at it! TD: Please, Steve, there's no place here for sexist comments like that. That special one shot deal Valet Match between the Subway Psycho's friend and confidant, Mistress Sasha, and Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven's valet, Nurse Heidi, is coming up in this hour. Plus we'll also be seeing a tremendous tag team battle royal, as the IIWF's top partnerships battle it out for a shot at whomever the World Tag Team Champions are after the triangle match later on this evening. SR: My money's on the Dark Disciples to win the Battle Royal, Dross. The Syndicate haven't made a play for the tag titles yet, and I have a feeling that Brian Lau and Don McQueen have big plans to change all that here tonight. TD: We'll see, Steve. Plus in this hour, we'll be hearing from the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Dan Kauffman, whom I spoke with this morning as he made his final preparations for tonight's titanic battle with his old enemy, Deathbringer. I understand we will also finally get to the bottom of the mystery surrounding "Superstar" Stud Stetson's big "surprise" right here on the Free For All. But before all that, we have a tremendous match in prospect as we witness the battle of the Steeles -- the "Real Deal" Luke Steele and "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele. The winner will get an IIWF contract, and the loser will get a one-way ticket home. Who are you picking, Becky? BL: I don't like either of these guys too much, Timmy, but I'll have to go with the "Real Deal." He may be a little bit smaller than that glutton, the "Cackhammer"... TD: That's "Jackhammer", Becky. BL: Don't correct me, Timmy. As I was saying, he may be a little bit smaller, but he's not half as annoying. SR: I'm with the girl. BL: That's what you think, baby. TD: Okay, you two. Let's remind ourselves of these two individuals before we go up to Sparkplug Lee for this encounter. [Cut to a pretaped video package showing highlights of interviews with the two Steeles over the past few weeks, the images tinted with different colours. First, cut to J.P. Steele in his gym in Detroit, tinted red:] JPS: I've wrestled more in the past six months than most people do in two years. And I always make time to train in the gym. Stamina, agility. Everything. How many 6-foot-9, 294-pound men do you know that can go topside and land more aerial moves than you can only dream of? [Cut to the "Real Deal" walking down a street in downtown buffalo, tinted blue:] LS: I've travelled the world, wrestled in many different countries, and studied numerous styles of wrestling. I can adapt to all sorts of fighting, be it brawling, aerial, technical, or what have you. [Cut back to the "Jackhammer", tinted red:] JPS: Just give me a chance, IIWF. I can really put on a show! I mean, hey I'm a rookie and unproven, but just give me one match to show my stuff. If you don't like it, bye-bye. Adios, I'll be out of your hair. But just let me try! [Cut back to Luke Steele, tinted blue:] LS: I haven't got a problem in fighting for admittance. I've always come out and said that I can beat anybody, anytime. Mr. Steele, I'm sure you're a great guy, but if this is the only way to get into the IIWF, then you'll have to start looking again. I've waited to come to the IIWF for a long time, and this is my chance. [Cut to a split screen, with the two Steeles imposed next to one another, the red and blue tints meeting in the middle of the screen. Cut to ringside.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- WINNER GETS CONTRACT: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Real Deal" Luke Steele vs. "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele ---------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee enters the ring and steps into the glare of the spotlight. Flakes of artificial snow drift slowly down from the rafters of the arena, and Sparkplug nervously brushes some flakes from his shoulder, while smiling at Jennifer, the IIWF's new ring girl. She merely shakes her head and steps out of the ring.] SR: Hey, what happened to Lisa? She kind of disappeared a couple of months ago, and now we've got this new ring girl. TD: Er, Lisa left the company a little while ago, Steve. BL: Rumour has it that she filed for harrassment against that pervert Sparkplug. TD: Poor guy. He's just a bit lonely, that's all. SR: Next you'll be telling me that he lives in a Motel, thinks he's his mother, and kills people in showers. TD: Please, Steve. Sparkplug's a perfectly normal guy. RA: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Free For All! [Big pop!] Tonight's opening encounter is scheduled for one fall, and it is a special "winner earns a contract" match. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Annie Mack, hailing from Detroit, Michigan, and weighing in at 292lbs, here is the "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele! [Moderate pop as "Eye of the Tiger" starts up over the PA, and Steele steps out into the aisle, led by Annie Mack. He is tall, muscular and well conditioned. He wears blue jeans shorts, an open flannel shirt, and a Florda Panthers hat. He has blond hair, medium length, parted down the middle, and blue eyes. The couple make their way to the ring, and Steele flips his hat onto the apron before jumping into the ring and going through a few stretches.] TD: The Jackhammer is certainly a big guy. He's nigh on three hundred pounds and six-nine. Incredibly, he's got quite an arsenal of aerial moves at his disposal. SR: I'll believe that when I see it, Dross. BL: You know what they say: the bigger they are, the smaller the brain. TD: That never bothered you before, Becky. BL: These big men tend to make up for it in other departments, if you know what I mean, but I don't like the blond pretty-boy type. RA: And introducing his opponent: hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, and weighing in at 275lbs, here is... the "Real Deal" Luke Steele! [Moderate pop as "Don't You Tread On Me" by The Damn Yankees blares out over the PA. Luke steps out into the aisle. He has long dark hair, dark brown eyes, and a goatee. He wears black and white tiger striped tights, and he comes to the ring sporting a red vest. He hi-fives a few of the fans on his way down the aisle, but keeps his gaze focused on the Jackhammer, who is still going through a few warm-ups in the ring.] SR: Look at the contrast between these two guys, Dross. Jackhammer's more like a jack-in-the-box, the way he's bouncing around in there. A classic case of rookie nerves. But look at the Real Deal -- cool as ice. I'd be looking for Luke Steele to wrestle the more confident match here. TD: You might be right, Steve. Both of these guys are relative newcomers to the sport, and despite some great triumphs elsewhere in the world of professional wrestling, neither of them has had to compete at the level of the IIWF before. [The two opponents shake hands in the centre of the ring. The referee signals for the bell. The combatants circle each other, and then lock up collar and elbow. Jackhammer slips Luke into a hammerlock, but Luke slides out and reverses the hold, yanking on a bit of extra pressure. Jackhammer yells out, before reaching behind with his free arm to try and force his opponent to let go. The Real Deal steps out of the way, and wrings J.P.'s arm around, bending him double. The Jackhammer impressively flips out of the armwringer, and goes back to a hammerlock on Luke. The Real Deal easily slips out, and sends Jackhammer for the ride across the ring. J.P. ducks under a clothesline attempt from the Real Deal, and then attempts a dropkick as he comes back off the ropes, but Luke puts on the brakes, and the Jackhammer crashes to the mat. Luke immediately drops on him and applies a reverse chinlock. J.P. beats the mat with his feet in frustration.] SR: See what I mean, Dross? Luke's going out there and getting the job done right from the get-go, while those rookie nerves of the Jackhammer are costing him in the early going. [Annie slaps the mat to encourage her man, who tries to find a way out of the hold. He uses his size to achieve greater leverage than his opponent, and fights back to a vertical base before pushing Luke into the ropes and going for a back bodydrop. He keeps his head down, however, and the Real Deal is able to put on the brakes again and take J.P. down to the mat with a swinging neckbreaker! Pop! He goes for the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! The Jackhammer is quick to his feet, and tries to shake off the cobwebs as he supports himself using the ropes. Luke Steele charges him, clotheslining him over the top rope, and his momentum causes him to follow J.P. to the outside. The two men trade blows on the floor while the referee puts the count on them both. J.P. blocks a big right from Luke, and nails him with a series of short jabs of his own, stunning him sufficiently for him to pick him up and slam him to the hard floor! Pop! J.P. rolls back into the ring to break the count, and then goes back to the outside. He drags Luke to his feet, and again picks him up in position for a slam, but this time runs him into the steel ringpost! Mixed pop! J.P. rolls the Real Deal back into the ring, and follows him in.] TD: That wasn't an entirely popular move from the big man. BL: But it's good strategy. He's got to take the wind out of the Real Deal's sails to dictate the pace of the match. [Jackhammer drags Steele to his feet and executes a brainbuster suplex. Pop! He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - Luke kicks out! Jackhammer drags his opponent to his feet again, and whips him into the ropes, this time executing a powerful spinebuster, slamming Luke down to the mat with tremendous force. Big pop! J.P. goes for the cover again - 1 - 2 - kickout! J.P. brings Luke to his feet a third time, and again whips him to the ropes, this time executing a powerslam! Big pop! He goes for a third cover - 1 - 2 - still, the Real Deal kicks out!] TD: The Real Deal is showing us some of his stamina here, folks. So far he's taken everything the Jackhammer has thrown at him, and he's still in the match. [J.P. looks to Annie on the outside for inspiration as he drags Luke to his knees once more. This time, the Real Deal fires a right hand into J.P.'s midsection, and fights back to a vertical base. The two men slug it out in the centre of the ring, and the Real Deal attempts a kick on his opponent. The Jackhammer catches his foot, but is then stunned by an enzuigiri which catches him at the base of the skull. He slumps to the mat, and the Real Deal also goes down. The referee begins counting both men down, and Luke struggles to his knees at the count of six. He drags Jackhammer to his feet and executes a piledriver on the big man! Big pop! He makes the cover - 1 - 2 - kickout! He peppers Jackhammer with a couple of European uppercut forearms, and then whips him into the ropes, flooring him with an impressive dropkick. Pop! Jackhammer rolls to the outside, and Luke runs to the ropes, launching himself with a plancha over the top onto his opponent! Huge pop! The Real Deal rolls the Jackhammer back into the ring, and goes to the top rope. He balances there, waiting for J.P. to get to his feet, and then launches himself with an attempt at his patented flying tomahawk chop. However, Jackhammer catches him with a fist to the midsection, and Steele is doubled over. J.P. hits his opponent with a kneelift, knocking him to the mat, and then waves his arm in the air in a circular motion. Big pop!] TD: We've seen Luke Steele attempt one of his finishers, and now it looks like it's the Jackhammer's turn! This has to be one of the most impressive moves in all of wrestling, folks -- the springboard spin wheel kick. [J.P. steps through the ropes so that he is standing on the apron, and waits for Luke to stagger to his feet. The Jackhammer launches himself onto the top rope, midway between the corner buckles, and uses the momentum to launch himself with a spinning wheel kick attempt at the Real Deal. However, Luke dodges out of the way at the last moment, and the Jackhammer crashes to the mat! The Real Deal shakes off the cobwebs, and goes to the outside. He climbs to the top rope, and steadies himself. Steele then launches himself with a spectacular shooting star press onto the prone J.P.!] TD: There it is! The Real Deal Press! What a move! The Real Deal makes the cover... One! Two! Three! He got him! [Ding! Ding! Ding! Big pop from the crowd as the referee raises Luke's arm in victory.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: the "Real Deal" Luke Steele! [An official seated at the timekeeper's table stands and climbs the ringsteps, pulling out of his pocket a sheaf of papers and a pen.] TD: Here's the contract. The terms had been agreed by both Steeles before the match, so it's just a formality for the winner to sign... and the "Real Deal" will be sticking around the IIWF! [Luke Steele signs the contract and shakes hands with the official to a big pop before leaving the ring and heading up the aisle, hi-fiving the fans as he goes. Annie Mack enters the ring to help J.P. Steele to his feet. He is disconsolate, and pushes his valet away, beating his hands on the turnbuckles in frustration.] SR: Aw, look at the sore loser. What's the matter, Cackhammer -- lost your meal ticket? TD: That's not fair, Steve. The dreams of this young man lie in tatters. But the "Jackhammer" is young, and there's still plenty of time for him to make a name for himself in the world of professional wrestling. Perhaps he'll come back to the IIWF some day. BL: I sure hope not. He and his tramp can get out of here, and stay out. [Steele leaves the ring and heads up the aisle, his head hung. Annie Mack follows concernedly behind him. The fans give J.P. a rousing ovation, and the Jackhammer turns at the head of the aisle, holds his head up, and waves to the crowd, before disappearing back into the locker rooms.] TD: A fine sportsman, that's for sure, but ultimately, he took a risk which didn't pay off. Okay, folks, as I mentioned earlier on, I met with the IIWF Champion, Dan Kauffman, early this morning for an interview. Let's go to his comments now: [Cut to pretaped footage subtitled "This Morning." An outdoor view of frigid Anchorage, Alaska before cutting inside to the warmth of the arena, where the ring is already standing at middle-floor, along with the scaffolding. Cut to the upper level of seating in the arena, where IIWF announcer Tim Dross is situated.] TD: It is early morning here in Alaska, and while several of the IIWF's best have refused to awake at the present time, that can not be said of the man to my left, IIWF Champion Dan Kauffman... [The camera pulls out to include Dan Kauffman in the shot. Kauffman is without his IIWF belt, and wears only white sweats and an IIWF hat. Kauffman nods at the camera, but it's easy to see that he's all business.] TD: Well, Dan, in some regards, this is just another big night in a life of big nights for you. DK: There is no night that is the same, but indeed, this is a very big night indeed... I'm sure I won't forget it for a while to come. TD: I wouldn't be surprised. There are several things that I'd like to bring up this morning. First up: as we all know by now, Chris Quigley is back in the IIWF, and he's made it clear that he wants a shot at that IIWF Championship. DK: Of course he does. He lives for these championships... he lives with a burning desire to be the best wrestler in the world, as all of us do. Quigley is a great wrestler, maybe even a greater wrestler than myself. We will meet sometime... might as well be sooner than later. TD: You've been watching Quigley from the stands the last couple of matches he's had... what's the verdict? DK: I know how good Quigley is, Dross. You don't beat a man of his calibre without scouting him out, learning about him, coming prepared for battle. Quigley has his weaknesses just as we all do. It's my job to find and exploit his weaknesses, as it is his job to do likewise to me. You can never know enough about an opponent, I stress that point. The better man always wins, and the better man is always ready for an opponent. You better believe that I'll be ready for Chris Quigley. I just hope he's ready for me. TD: Another man that has come to the IIWF as of late is Serge Annis. Now your history with Annis in the WCeW is well documented. Annis says that he doesn't want the Championship -- he wants you. DK: And that's true. He'd rather end my career than win my belt. TD: Is there a reason for that? DK: There's a reason for EVERYTHING he does, and don't forget that. Everyone thinks he's out of control. He KNOWS what he's doing, Dross. He's very calculated. He can be my best friend at times, and other times he'll rip me up something fierce. With Annis, it's give or take... and you never know which one he's doing. TD: You've been watching this man from the stands as well... DK: Like I said, you've got to know your opponents, Dross. TD: Finally, as you may know, Casey James has been, for want of a better word, "stalking" you for some time now. DK: And he's found out quite a few things, has he not? But I don't have a pool, so I don't know where he got his little piss play on at. TD: I knew that picture was dummied... I understand this must be difficult for you, but what about Casey's attack on your mentor, "Legend" Brandon Bennett, which you learned of last night? DK: If it were anybody else but Casey James, I'd be amazed at the depths he'll sink to in order to get to me. I heard about the attack, sure. Brandon's wife rang me, and it made my blood boil to hear about it. He's not seriously injured, but his pride is hurt, and when you hurt Brandon Bennett's pride, Dan Kauffman will hurt _you_. Right now I've got to deal with a certain oversized zombie, but, James, you'll get yours. Guaranteed. TD: We all know that Dan Kauffman is a man of his word, but anyway... if I may ask... What's with this "Khaos" thing? DK: I was once a little inexperienced in the world of wrestling, and I did some things to get recognised. One of the things I did was to become sort of what could be defined a "chaotic" character... a hardcore character. I was looking to break through in the wrestling world, and so I created the character "Khaos". Then I took the character a little too far. Well, it seems as if James found my past. Hey, I'm not ashamed of my past, I've simply moved on. But if Casey wants to see Khaos... but he doesn't, rest assured. TD: So "Khaos" could come... DK: I didn't say anything of the sort. Actually, I need to get going... TD: But about Deathbringer... [Kauffman moves quick, and disappears out of the nearest exit before Dross can finish his sentence. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Intriguingly, Kauffman didn't mention tonight's match against Deathbringer once. SR: He's probably so scared that he can't even talk about facing the dark destroyer without throwing up. TD: I don't think that's the case, Steve, but I have to wonder whether Kauffman simply has too much to worry about at the moment. Deathbringer aside, he's under fire from three of the IIWF's most impressive competitors, and that's got to be playing on his mind right now. Deathbringer may already have won the psychological battle, and if Kauffman is looking over his shoulder too much, Deathbringer might find the Champion easy to turn over. We'll find out later on tonight. Right now, I understand it's time to uncover the truth behind "Superstar" Stud Stetson's big surprise. Let's go up to Larry Morton in the ring. [Larry Morton enters the ring with a microphone in hand.] LM: For the last few weeks, "Superstar" Stud Stetson and Lace have constantly alluded to a surprise. For some time now, they have been hyping a presentation that will supposedly make IIWF history. So without further ado, I would like to call out Stetson to present this new "addition" to the IIWF. ["Rain Will Fall" by I Mother Earth blares over the PA as Stud Stetson and Lace come out to a large heel pop. Stetson gives an evil smirk to some ringside fans and then finally enters the ring.] LM: Well, Mr. Stetson, where is this great addition? SS: Hairy Moron, calm down buddy, I promised a surprise and as always I will deliver. Just let me tell you this, it will once and for all prove that not only am I the ultimate Superstar of the IIWF, but the greatest wrestler to ever grace this sport. TD: [from the broadcast booth] Boy, this guy loves the sound of his own voice. SR: Shut up, Dross. Unlike most IIWF superstars, what this man says is true. TD: I just wish he'd get on with the presentation. SS: I am about to make IIWF history. This will truly be the greatest addition the IIWF has ever witnessed besides Lace and myself, of course. Tonight, all you IIWF superstar wannabes eat your hearts out, because you only wish you could bring this into the IIWF. LA: Bring it in, gentlemen. [Lace points to the runway as an amazing display of lights and fireworks erupts. Six well-dressed gentlemen make their way to the ring. Two of them are carrying an oak chest.] TD: What's so great about these guys? You're always saying that we already have enough suits in the IIWF, Steve. SR: You're such a moron, Dross. I think you might find that the contents of that chest are significant. LM: Alright, Stetson. You've struck my curiosity... What's in the box? LA: [starts to fiddle with Larry Morton's tie] Calm down, tiger. You'll see in due time. SS: I would like to now turn the proceedings over to the head of the International Wrestling Commission, Mr. Barry Donaldson. TD: The what?! Who?! [One of the well-dressed gentlemen approaches Larry Morton.] LM: Okay, what is it you want to present here, sir? BD: As I am sure you know, Mr. Morton, I am the President of the International Wrestling Commission. LM: [interrupting] I regret to inform you that I've never heard of your wrestling organization before. BD: We are not a wrestling organization, Mr. Morton. We are the council which governs all of wrestling. We make major decisions that are relevant to our sport as a whole, as well as making vital decisions for specific organizations deemed worthy or needy. In other words, we oversee all that goes on in the sport and decide upon vital situations. TD: This is a crock! I've never heard of this council. SR: Then you're not the great journalist you claim to be, are you? LM: Um, okay. But what has brought you here tonight? BD: To present this. [The two men holding the chest put it down and take out a key which they use to unlock the chest. When it is opened the most gorgeous-looking title belt can be seen in the case. The belt's plate is larger then most championship plates and seems to be of pure gold. It is titled the World Superstar Championship.] LM: Gosh! That's the most beautiful championship belt I have ever seen. But is this sanctioned by the IIWF? BD: Are you forgetting that we are the super powers of wrestling? What we say, goes. We felt that a championship should be created to honor the greatest true superstar of wrestling. We looked across the world and our search led us here to the IIWF. We decided that this was the greatest organization out there, and that it deserved the opportunity to have this title. [looks directly at Morton] You should take this as a great honor. Anyway, what made your organization so great was one particular athlete. One we saw as the perfect superstar to be instated as the first champion. And now I present this title to the first ever Superstar Champion, the best there is today... "Superstar" Stud Stetson! [Stetson acts as if he is really surprised to be awarded the title and shakes the man's hand before putting the belt around his waist.] SS: I would first like to thank... myself! Becasue I was the only one that made me earn this title. I made myself wrestling's only superstar. I didn't need the fans or any idols to make me the greatest athlete in the world today... and your first World Superstar Champion [points at the title]. The IIWF can still be honored that this elite title now belongs here in the IIWF, truly making this federation the best out there. But of course if I was somewhere else that fed would have it -- so don't be too happy. BD: Now before we leave, we would like to get something straight. We want to keep this title's great prestige, so I request of you to only defend this title against true wrestling superstars. I know it may be hard to find some worthy challengers but we will work hard to find someone. Meanwhile, walk with pride and prove why you are the best in the world today. [He shakes Stetson's hand again and leaves the ring with the rest of the suits.] LM: Stetson, I'm blown away! I don't know what to say about what we've just seen. SS: Don't say anything -- just look on and admire your new champion. Subway, Warnett, Quigley and especially Kauffman, I know you are now looking on with jealousy, realising that I am truly the better man. Now, even though none of you are worthy of a shot at my title, I would definitely be glad to give you all a one-way ticket out of here... because as I proved tonight, when it comes to Superstars, I put you all to shame! [Looks at Lace.] Let's go, sweet thang. [He takes Lace by the arm and walks off with the title around his waist as "Rain Will Fall" starts up once more. Larry Morton shakes his head in disbelief and leaves the ring. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: That was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. That whole incident was a total crock and an embarrassment to the IIWF. SR: Are you trying to disclaim his title? Are you trying to discredit the International Wrestling Commission? TD: Come on, Steve. Those suits were hired by Stetson to make a hokey presentation. This is just Stetson trying to buy himself a little more booking power around here, but he's not going to manage it. The front office will certainly not sanction that title of his. BL: They don't have to, Timmy. It's not like there's anybody in the IIWF who he'd defend it against anyway. TD: Stetson really needs to be taken down a peg or two, and I dare say that Marty Warnett is just the man for the job. Stetson and Warnett will clash later on tonight in Lethal Lottery action. For now, let's get back up to the ring for our huge tag team Battle Royal! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL: for #1 contendership to World Tag Team Championship =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Players' Club vs. Arabian Knights vs. Pain Inc. vs. G.W.R. vs. Domination vs. Dark Disciples vs. Alphabet Boys vs. The Hangmen vs. Zodiac Connection --------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring again.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special tag team battle royal. The rules are as follows: all nine teams will start the match in the ring, and the only manner of elimination is for a wrestler to be thrown out over the top rope, and for both feet to touch the floor. The last man, or complete team, remaining in the ring at the end of the match will be declared a winner, and will go on to face the IIWF World Tag Team Champions on January 4. BL: Did you catch all that, you two? SR: Catch all what? I'm trying to get a beer over here. TD: Of course I did, Becky. Before Sparkplug brings the teams out here, let's go backstage to get comments from a few of the participants: [Cut to backstage, in front of a closed locker room door. Suddenly, the door is opened by Hades, the bodyguard of Mr. Mic and Pain Inc.] HADES: [very loudly] Oh, it's you. Allow me to introduce a man I am proud to call my boss. The greatest manager in the IIWF, Mr. Mic! [Hades opens the door and allows the camera to enter the locker room. Mr. Mic stands in front of a bench. He has on a pair of faded blue jeans, a camouflage T-shirt with "Armed Forces" emblazoned across it. He has a smile on his face.] MM: Look who's back! First off, let me say that this is a new Mr. Mic. No more whining about decisions for days on end and stuff like that. My sense in Indonesia reminded me that if you want something done, DO IT YOURSELF! So, if any team in the IIWF wants to stop us from reaching our goal of the IIWF titles, then... they will be eliminated. This especially holds true for teams like Domination, G.W.R., R.S.R. and the Drifters. Oh, don't worry, though -- I'll still be the mouthiest, lippiest, son a gun you've ever seen. [He laughs] I guess the more things change, the more things stay the same! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Now, I bet you all wanna know where Pain Inc are, huh? Well, they're in the back preparing for tonight's match. Don't expect the same Pain Inc. Oh, they'll be as violent and merciless as before, but... no, no I'll leave it for you to see. Oh yeah, and the tag title match tonight. Simply, I fully support the Armed Forces, as you can plainly see. I will be in Aaron the Caddy's dressing room watching the match with him. I am confident that the Forces will right that which is wrong and recapture the titles that were stolen from them. Describe the Forces... okay. How will they leave the other wrestlers? PALE. How hard will it be to beat those four idiots? EASY! Lastly [he develops a very serious look on his face], this tag-team Battle Royal is going to show how much my Pain Inc. has improved. Pain Inc.'s old strategy would have been to beat the hell out of everybody without a care as to the outcome. Their new strategy: work as a team, beat the hell out of everyone, and above all: WIN THIS BATTLE ROYAL! Domination, G.W.R., Alphabet Idiots, pack your bags for a trip over the top rope, boys. [Hades pushes the camera out of the dressing room. He forces the door closed, yelling:] HADES: See you again -- same Pain time, same Pain channel! [The shot freezes, and spins round, cutting to the locker room of the Dark Disciples. Kane and Wulf look psyched up as they flank Don McQueen, who is in the middle of a conversation on his cellular phone.] DM: Uh huh... Yep... Okay... Shouldn't be a problem, best of luck... [Don suddenly notices the camera is on and hurriedly hangs up.] DM: Ahem... Just taking care of some business. Right, now where are we? Looks like the IIWF's inaugural Snow Brawl PPV. A place where the bright lights shine, the best rise above the rest, and the big bucks are a-flyin'. In just a few moments all the moronic fans out there will be treated to the most awesome display of wrestling dominance they have ever witnessed, courtesy of the Dark Disciples. Y'know you all really don't deserve the privilege, but fortunately for you there is plenty of money to be made out of it by me. Thus, we can grace you with our presence for a while. Kane, why don't you let 'em all know what's in store tonight? KANE: I have been granted a vision, Don, a vision involving excruciating pain and suffering for the tag teams of the IIWF. Tonight is the time, the ides of winter decree that rivers of blood shall be spilled at the hands of the Dark Disciples. There will be an abundance of prey for us to stalk in the tag team Battle Royal, and they shall all be sacrificed. I can sense the apprehension in the air this very moment. Each and every tag team in the locker room is cowering in fright and pondering the same thing. They are wondering, "Will we be the ones? Will we be the first victims of the Dark Disciples? Will we even leave the ring alive tonight?" Well rest easy fools, you can be sure that the time of darkness will come for each of you in turn. WULF: Tonight, all my Halloweens have come at once. What could be more appetising than a ring full of screaming victims for me to sink my fangs into? This kind of match was made for the Dark Disciples, we thrive when chaos reigns. It is a shame there is not more meat for us to feast on, for when I look at our foes I see only a bunch of mewling kittens. The Zodiac Connection, Pain Inc, G.W.R., what are they compared with the forces of devilry? Once us two demonic hellraisers are let loose on the ring the IIWF shall know what it is to have chaos rule. DM: How are ya' feelin' now, Players' Club, Pain Inc and Hangmen, when ya' know you ain't got a hope in hell of getting outta that ring alive? How are ya' feelin' now High Plains Drifters, Rising Sun Revolution and Armed Forces, whoever the hell the champs will be after tonight, knowing that your next challengers will be the Dark Disciples? My guess is a lot of folks won't be sleeping too easy in the near future, and whatever goes down tonight, the big straps will be coming home with us before long. [Cut back to the ring. Sparkplug Lee raises his microphone once more:] RA: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 589lbs, here are Abie and Zed, the Alphabet Boys! [Abie and Zed make their way down to the ring, still wearing their Rising Sun Revolution t-shirts on top of their flourescent-lettered tights. They appear deep in conversation as they enter the ring.] RA: Coming down the aisle, accompanied by their manager, Dr. Insane, at a combined weight of 575lbs, here are Scorpio and Taurus, the Zodiac Connection! [Moderate pop as Scorpio and Taurus jog down to the ring ahead of their manager.] RA: On their way to the ring, accompanied by their manager, General Kane, at a combined weight of 545lbs, here are Spoiler and Loco, G.W.R.! [Mixed reaction for Spoiler and Loco as they make their way down the aisle, flanking their manager, General Kane, who wears his trademark suit and sunglasses. They hi-five a few fans before entering the ring.] RA: Coming down the aisle, accompanied by Mistress, at a combined weight of 610lbs, here are Mr. Psycho and Monster... Domination! [Big pop for Domination as they walk the aisle to the ring, followed closely by Mistress.] TD: These two men have to be early favourites in this match. [Domination enter the ring, and immediately, the Alphabet Boys seem to grow agitated. The Zodiacs hold the ABoys back, and order is restored.] RA: Introducing next, accompanied to the ring by their manager Mr. Kaseem, at a combined weight of 595lbs, here are Prince Abdul Akmar and Omar, the Arabian Knights! [Big heel pop as the Knights walk down to the ring, with Kaseem bringing up the rear.] RA: Next, at a combined weight of 705lbs, and accompanied to the ring by the Hangman, here are the Hangmen! [Three identically dressed men, all standing at around seven feet tall, bedecked from head to toe in black executioners' outfits, make their way out into the aisle to a big heel pop.] TD: Well, here they are. The Hangmen finally return to the IIWF after their world tour, and they look bigger and meaner than ever. SR: Spot the difference if you can, Dross. TD: Of course, only two of these individuals will be able to participate in this battle royal, but the referees on the arena floor are going to have to keep a very close eye out for any attempted swaps or similar tricks. [The Hangmen enter the ring. Most of the other teams back off a few steps, intimidated by their imposing presence.] RA: Introducing next, accompanied to the ring by Mr. Mic and Hades, at a combined weight of 585lbs, here are Morningstar and Hellraiser... Pain Incorporated! [Big heel pop as Morningstar and Hellraiser step out into the aisle. Both men have a look of quiet determination about them, and they certainly cut an imposing presence as they make their way down to the ring.] TD: Another prodigal team returns to the IIWF. Hellraiser looks bigger than ever, and Morningstar doesn't look half as psychotic as he used to. SR: He still looks nuts to me, Dross. TD: I think we're going to see a different Pain Inc. in the ring tonight. I've heard from sources at their training facility here in the States that since their return from Indonesia, Pain Inc. have been a more cohesive, determined and focused team. We could see the first fruits of that here tonight. RA: Coming down the aisle, accompanied by "Big Bucks" Don McQueen, at a combined weight of 615lbs, here are Kane and Wulf... the Dark Disciples! [Big heel pop as the monstrous frames of Kane and Wulf stalk slowly down the aisle, with Don McQueen gleefully following behind them.] TD: These men right here could well be the winners. BL: You're right for once, Timmy. Who's going to bet against a team as dangerous as the Dark Disciples? You can tell just how high their pain threshold must be -- just look at all those tattoos! SR: And think of the dental work to get those fangs... [The Dark Disciples climb into the now-crowded ring.] RA: And introducing finally... accompanied to the ring by IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Dan Kauffman [Huge pop!], at a combined weight of 470lbs, here are "Desirable" Danny Dynamite and "Maverick" Michael Reyna, the Players' Club! [Huge pop as Dan Kauffman accompanies his teammates down to the ring. All three members of TPC hi-five the excited crowd as they walk the aisle.] TD: I'm surprised to see Kauffman out here tonight, and I must say that I don't think it's a good idea. SR: On the contrary -- it's a great idea! Perhaps Kauffman will get his ass kicked now, making Deathbringer's job even easier! TD: I really have to believe that Kauffman is simply spreading himself too thin here at the moment... He should be focused on beating Deathbringer, not looking out for his comrades. [Kauffman takes a ringside seat at the timekeeper's table as Dynamite and Reyna enter the ring. As soon as they step between the ropes, the bell rings, and the match is underway. Immediately, Spoiler of G.W.R. slides out of the ring under the bottom rope, and strolls over to General Kane.] BL: That's a smart move right there. You can tell General Kane is a tactician, even if he does have awful fashion sense. By getting Spoiler out of the fray early on, he'll be fresh to get back into the ring late in the match, and possibly take the victory. TD: Some might consider it cheating, Becky. SR: Well, it's not against the rules, is it, Dross? TD: Er... no, not as such. SR: Then it's hardly cheating, is it? TD: But... SR: [interrupting] Shut it, Dross, and call the match. [The Alphabet Boys and Domination immediately go at it, and as they brawl against the ropes, several opportunistic others join forces to eject them from the ring. Abie and Mr. Psycho are toppled over the top rope by Omar and Morningstar, while Dynamite, Reyna and one of the Hangmen throw Zed and Monster out of the ring. Big heel pop!] RA: The Alphabet Boys and Domination have been eliminated! [The decision appears to have little effect on the two eliminated teams, as they continue to brawl around ringside and up the aisle as officials attempt to force them away. Abie's t-shirt splits as he takes a particularly over-zealous swing at Monster, and he seems very upset, and certainly distracted enough for Monster to knock him to the floor. The brawl goes on in the aisle.] TD: This situation between the Alphabet Boys and Rising Sun Revolution has to be resolved soon -- you can bet that Domination aren't going to take too kindly to losing out on a shot at the champions this early on in the match. [In the ring, the Hangmen work over Danny Dynamite, Pain Inc. work on Loco of G.W.R., and the Zodiac Connection brawl with the Dark Disciples. On the outside, Spoiler senses that his partner is in danger, and so when Loco whips Hellraiser into the ropes, Spoiler craftily grabs the Indonesian athlete's ankle, holding him in place, allowing Loco to charge with a clothesline that sends Hellraiser tumbling over the ropes to the outside. Hellraiser is furious, and immediately begins brawling with Spoiler.] RA: Hellraiser of Pain Inc. has been eliminated! [While officials attempt to break up Hellraiser and Spoiler, in the ring, Scorpio and Taurus fell Kane of the Dark Disciples with an impressive double dropkick. Scorpio takes a big risk, and climbs the turnbuckles inside the ring. As he does so, Morningstar whips Loco across the ring into Scorpio's corner, knocking the turnbuckle with force, and causing Scorpio to tumble out of the ring and all the way to the floor! Big gasp from the crowd!] RA: Scorpio of the Zodiac Connection has been eliminated! TD: Wow! Scorpio just tumbled about twelve feet to the arena floor there! BL: It's always a risk to take to the air in battle royals, and Scorpio just paid the price. SR: He's certainly seeing stars right about now. [The Players' Club turn their attentions to Omar of the Arabian Knights, doubleteaming him while his partner, Prince Abdul, is worked over by Kane of the Dark Disciples. Dynamite and Reyna whip the big man across the ring, and attempt a double clothesline, but he ducks underneath, and just as he prepares to fire back with a clothesline of his own, Prince Abdul is punched by Kane, and slumps backwards, leaning on the ropes at precisely the moment Omar is set to bounce off them. Omar overbalances and tumbles to the outside! Big pop!] RA: Omar of the Arabian Knights has been eliminated! [The Prince turns to see his partner pick himself up off the arena floor, and yells his apologies. However, he is nailed from behind by Kane, and the blow sends him tumbling over the top rope. He is saved by Omar, who catches him before his feet touch the floor, and rolls him back into the ring under the bottom rope.] TD: Omar may have been eliminated inadvertently by his own partner, but he came to the rescue of the Prince nonetheless. That's good teamwork. SR: I'm not sure about that, Dross. How would you like to be rolled back into the ring so you could get stomped on by _both_ Dark Disciples? TD: Good point. Kane and Wulf are certainly working the Prince over at this moment. [The Disciples stomp Prince Abdul until they are distracted by an attack from behind by Taurus of the Zodiacs and both Hangmen. The Prince slowly drags himself to his feet, and is jumped by Loco of G.W.R. Loco ties the Prince up in the ropes, and then bounces off the opposite side of the ring. He launches himself at Abdul, who manages to wriggle free, and Loco tumbles over the top rope to the outside. Big pop!] RA: Loco of G.W.R. has been eliminated! TD: Eight men have now been eliminated, there are nine legal men in the ring, and an additional one -- Spoiler -- on the outside. This one could be over in a hurry. [Kane chews on Taurus' head, before kicking him in the gut and executing a gutwrench piledriver on the big man. Big heel pop! Meanwhile, Dynamite and Reyna work on Morningstar of Pain Inc., Reyna holding the big man while Dynamite pounds him with uppercuts and punches. One of the Hangmen joins in the attack. Kane drags Taurus to his feet and stands by the ropes. He sets up the big man for a suplex, and suplexes him straight out of the ring! Taurus crashes into the steel crowd barriers as he lands! Huge heel pop!] RA: Taurus of the Zodiac Connection has been eliminated! TD: Wow! What an impressive display of strength from Kane! Taurus weighs more than three hundred pounds, and Kane just suplexed him out of the ring over the top rope! SR: I told you, Dross, the Disciples are the team to watch here. Only the Disciples, the Hangmen and the Whiners' Club are still at full strength in there -- the Zodiacs, the Alphabet Morons and Abomination are all eliminated. [Reyna battles it out with one of the Hangmen, who manages to cinch in the Hangman's noose sleeper hold. Reyna begins to flag, and he drops to one knee. Dynamite's attempt to come to the aid of his partner is scuppered by the other Hangman, who intercepts him with a kick to the gut and a powerbomb. Big heel pop! Reyna is hoisted above the Hangman's head, and unceremoniously dumped all the way to the outside! Huge heel pop!] RA: "Maverick" Michael Reyna of the Players' Club has been eliminated! TD: Another powerhouse shows us his stuff here! Reyna could well have been unconscious by the time he was dumped over the top rope by the Hangman... SR: Aw, look at poor widdle Kauffman, checking on his partner. [Kauffman has left his ringside seat to tend to Reyna, while the Hangman showboats in the ring. However, his celebrations are cut short by a big clothesline from Wulf, which sends the black-clad athlete tumbling to the outside. The Hangman beats the mat in frustration, and immediately climbs back to the apron, grabbing Wulf as he turns back to the match. The Hangman grabs Wulf by his hair, and drags him backwards, before the illegal ringside Hangman joins his partner on the apron, and together, the two men dump Wulf out of the ring!] RA: One of the Hangmen, and Wulf of the Dark Disciples have been eliminated! SR: Give me a break! I know this is the Free For All, but this is ridiculous! That elimination can't be allowed to stand -- neither of the men who dragged Wulf out of the ring were legal! TD: I'm afraid the rules simply state that for a wrestler to be eliminated, he must go over the top rope and have both feet touch the floor. Simple as that. SR: What a crock of sh... TD: [interrupting] Thankyou, Steve. Twelve men have now been eliminated. Five -- Dynamite, one Hangman, Kane, Prince Abdul and Morningstar -- now remain in the ring, and Spoiler is still on the outside. One of the officials should really get him back into the ring. [Dynamite and Morningstar go at it in one corner of the ring, while Kane takes out his frustration at his partner's elimination on the remaining Hangman, stunning him with a number of hard punches and kicks before laying him out with a vicious piledriver. He drags the groggy Hangman to his feet and hoists him in position for a slam. Kane walks to the ropes, and throws the Hangman to the outside, onto his two teammates. All three Hangman crash to the arena floor.] RA: The remaining Hangman has been eliminated! SR: Well, at least there's some poetic justice in this world. Look out, Kane! [Spoiler chooses this moment to slide back into the ring to jump Kane from behind, and he leaps with a flying knee to the Disciple's back which sends Kane over the ropes, but he manages to catch hold of the bottom rope and pull himself back into the ring. Spoiler attempts to kick and force Kane out of the ring, but the big man is too powerful, and rolls back in. He fights to his feet, despite Spoiler's attempts to hold him down, and grabs Spoiler by the throat. Spoiler's eyes boggle a little as Kane picks him up and drives him down to the canvas hard with a chokeslam. Big heel pop! Meanwhile, Morningstar chokes Dynamite in the corner with his boot, and Dan Kauffman climbs to the apron to try and distract Morningstar. It works, and he quickly jumps down from the apron, allowing Prince Abdul to charge Morningstar from behind, and knock him from the ring. Big pop!] RA: Morningstar of Pain Inc. has been eliminated! TD: Dan Kauffman took a risk trying to save Dynamite's bacon there, but it paid off... Except now he's going to have to stay out of the way of Pain Inc. [Hades, Mr. Mic and Morningstar all make a move towards Kauffman, who simply jumps over the crowd barrier and into the crowd, where he is mobbed and soon lost in the sea of faces. Frustrated, Pain Inc. make their way back up the aisle. Meanwhile, in the ring, Spoiler drags himself to his feet, trying to shake off the effects of Kane's chokeslam, and pulls himself up using the ropes. He is met by Prince Abdul Akmar, who charges Spoiler, clotheslining him over the top rope. However, Spoiler has the presence of mind to keep hold of the Prince, dragging him over the ropes with him. Big pop!] RA: Spoiler of G.W.R. and Prince Abdul Akmar of the Arabian Knights have been eliminated! TD: We're now down to two men, folks: the monstrous Kane of the Dark Disciples, and "Desirable" Danny Dynamite of the Players' Club. SR: There's nothing desirable about Dynamite's position right now, Dross. Kane's going to tear him apart! [Kane peppers Dynamite with punches and kicks before whipping him into the ropes. Dynamite ducks under a clothesline, and shoots back with an attempted Frankensteiner on the big man. However, Kane catches Dynamite in midair and converts the attempt into a devastating powerbomb, driving Dynamite down into the mat hard. Big heel pop!] TD: With no partner, and no Kauffman on the outside, things don't look good for Dynamite here... BL: That's putting it mildly, Timmy. [Kane drags Dynamite to his feet, and hoists him up above his head for a military press slam. He begins to walk to the ropes, in order that he can dump Dynamite out of the ring, but Dynamite shifts his weight, and manages to wriggle free, coming down behind Kane. He pushes the big man into the ropes, and attempts to hoist him over, but Kane's weight is too much for him to lift, and he backs away, his back strained. Kane immediately capitalises with a series of kicks to Dynamite's lower back, before driving him to the mat once more with a vicious DDT. The crowd's jeers are very loud as Don McQueen signals for Kane to finish his opponent off. Kane draws the shape of an inverted cross in the air above Dynamite with his hands, before simply picking up the prone Dynamite and dumping him straight out of the ring to the arena floor. Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge heel pop!] RA: "Desirable" Danny Dynamite of the Players' Club has been eliminated. Here is your survivor: Kane! Thus the number one contenders to the IIWF World Tag Team Championship are the Dark Disciples, and they will face the champions on January 4! [Huge heel pop as McQueen enters the ring to congratulate Kane, who merely smiles a sick, evil smile before climbing out of the squared circle and heading up the aisle. Dynamite is helped to his feet by officials. Cut to the broadcast table.] TD: What a match that was! The Dark Disciples have the shot at the champions, but just who will the champions be? Will the belts still be with the Drifters, or will they go back to Rising Sun Revolution or the Armed Forces? We'll find out later on tonight in Snow Brawl. Right now, ring technicians need to set up a couple of cages above the ring to hold two very angry wrestlers. Up next, the special Valet Match between Mistress Sasha and Nurse Heidi. SR: I really can't wait for this one! BL: Please, control yourself. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- VALET MATCH: with wrestlers suspended above ring in cages -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Mistress Sasha vs. Nurse Heidi (w/ Subway Psycho) (w/Otto Verhoeven) -------------------------------------------- TD: This is a first for the IIWF, a women's wrestling match. But these aren't pros, they're valets. BL: I hear that Sasha is a pro. SR: They should have many more of these in the future. I, for one, would enjoy seeing Heidi rolling around with... say... Lace. BL: We know what you enjoy. Most of it is illegal in the U.S. TD: Let's go to Sparkplug in the ring... SR: Yeah! Bring on the girls. RA: Introducing, in her IIWF debut, in this specially sanctioned valet match... from Essen, Germany...standing 5'10" and weighing 133 pounds... accompanied to the ring by Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven: Nurse Heidi! [ZZ Top's "She's Just Killing Me" starts up. Heidi and Verhoeven enter ringside. There is some waving of foam cleavers. A sign waves reading "Heidi, Nurse THIS!", but the camera cuts away before the signs owner can reveal the nature of his needs. The Butcher lifts Heidi into the ring where she doffs her nurse's costume to reveal a white swimsuit singlet. A testosterone-soaked cry of approval rises from the crowd.] SR: This broadcast position really should be closer to the ring. TD: Sit down Steve. BL: And close your mouth, you're drooling. RA: Her opponant, making her ring debut, accompanied by the Subway Psycho.. at 5'9 and 120 pounds: Mistress Sasha! BL: Does this make her the Subway Psidekick? [Sasha enters demurely in spandex shorts and athletic halter, both in the black with purple and grey trim of Subway Psycho, to the strain of "Crazy Train". Official Subway Psycho Eyeblack carefully decorates one eye.] BL: I could take out both these bimbos. TD: But your contract won't let you. BL: I'll have to talk to Spreadbury about that. TD: Here come the cages... RA: A special stipulation in this contest dictates that each valet's wrestler must spend the duration of the match locked in a cage suspended above the ring. [There is a hum of machinery and two steel barred cages descend from the roof. With a last glare at each other, Subway and Otto step into the cages. Sparkplug Lee shoots the bolts, smashing his fingernail along the way. The cranes lift the wrestlers into the rafters. The bell rings.] BL: Excuse me Tim, but since you know so little about women, and less about women's wrestling, I'll take over the play-by-play for this one. TD: I think... BL: Try not to, you'll just hurt yourself. SR: Mud. This match needs more mud. Is it too late to get some mud? How about Jell-O? What's for sale at the concessions counter? Nacho cheese? [Heidi tries to dictate the match immediatly, but Sasha continues to keep a distance from her opponant. Verhoeven shouts something in German which Heidi replies to in kind, but with a shrug. Subway nods his head assuring Sasha she'll be okay. Sasha leads with a running clothesline, Heidi nimbly grabs it, twists the arm behind and into a modified abdominal stretch.] TD: That running clothesline is right out of Subway Psycho's playbook. BL: I told you I'd do the play-by-play. TD: *ahem* It is my job. BL: You're gonna sound funny doing it in a falsetto. TD: Becky, would you like to take the play-by-play on this match? BL: Why, little old me? I'm charmed and honored. [Nurse Heidi turns the stretch into a hip toss. Sasha rolls to her feet, looking quite unsure. Heidi armwhips Sasha hard into the turnbuckle. Heidi grabs the arm again, but Sasha delivers a hard hand slap which suprises the Nurse somewhat. Sasha slaps her again. Heidi is infuriated and monkey flips Sasha to center ring. Sasha quickly slips out of the ring. Verhoeven can be heard equating Subway Psycho's wrestling ability with that of Sasha's. Subway rattles his cage in defiance, excusing why he can't kill The Butcher right now. Heidi reaches over the ropes, dragging Sasha back in by her hair.] SR: How about that, Dross? She couldn't do that to you. BL: This one is all but over, except for the bell. Sasha's Park Avenue upbringing is no match for Uberfrau Heidi. TD: Would you say that Verhoeven was a better coach than Subway Psycho? BL: You aren't supposed to be speaking. TD: I will say that Sasha misses the presence of her father at ringside, and perhaps that has given her incentive tonight. SR: What good would that wrinkled old prune do her? TD: Steve... Steve! You know camera and flash equipment isn't allowed in the auditorium. Even for announcers. SR: I just wanted a few memories of the match. [Heidi becomes infuriated. She unleashes a series of suplexes and arm tosses. Sasha barely has the time to stand before being downed again. Heidi cinches on an armbar, all the while whispering comments to Sasha about being a poor-little-rich-girl. There is some confusion in the stands as Sandman comes to ringside.] TD: What does he want? SR: Same thing I want... a closer look. TD: Speaking of which, I'm getting an urgent notice that we are going to cut to backstage where some sort of altercation is taking place. [Backstage: "Superstar" Stud Stetson and Lace are trying to make their way into the arena area, but Mad Dog Watkins continually bars their way. Stetson tries to get around him, threatening, but cannot. Mad Dog only wags his finger disapprovingly. Lace attempts to distract him, but to no avail. Stetson makes one last charge, but Watkins slams him to the wall, locking his arm up behind him until Stetson agrees to go back to the locker room. Cut back to the match.] BL: What was that all about? SR: Stetson promised us he'd make a lot of noise at Snow Brawl, but it looks like Dog Breath stopped him. TD: Watkins told me that he wanted to remain focused for the Lethal Lottery bouts. Subway Psycho is his partner, and obviously he doesn't want his partner distracted before things even begin. I can only assume that he got wind of a plot by Stetson against Psycho. SR: Too bad. Bet it would have been a good one. Maybe he was going to beat up Sasha or something. TD: Even Stetson wouldn't touch a lady. BL: It's not a lady, Dross, it's Sasha. [Sasha cries in pain, Heidi laughs. Sandman waves to the caged wrestlers, who obviously don't trust him. Heidi twists on the pressure. Sasha backflips, unwinding the armbar. Sasha attempts a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, completly missing the manoeuvre. However, she manages to smack Heidi in the head with her knee, and both women fall to the mat.] BL: Ha ha. What a klutz. Can't even do a tit-a-whirl. That is _so_ easy. [Sasha gets to her feet first, and quickly climbs the ringpost.] BL: What's she doing? She's going to attempt the Derailer?! Oh, this is prime! Who needs the Harlequins, we've got comedy right here! [Sasha looks apprehensively to Subway who emphatically warns her off the ropes. He is too late as Heidi throws her to the mat. Again with a handful of hair, Heidi smahes Sasha facefirst into the turnbuckle. Subway Eyeblack smears all over her face.] BL: Daddy's girl is gonna need another nose job after that. Somebody throw in the towel on that girl. Get Roberts a towel while you're at it. TD: Steve, you're drooling again. [Sasha staggers out of the corner, obviously dazed. Nurse Heidi quickly strikes, locking on her cross-face chicken wing.] BL: There's "The Sedative"! It's over. SR: I. Really. Envy. Sasha. Right. Now. [Heidi howls in triumph. Outside, the Sandman steps up on the ring apron. He rips open his shirt. Nurse Heidi sees him and, distracted, she relaxes the hold.] TD: What's under his shirt? Can we get an alternate camera shot? [The camera cuts to a different angle to reveal the Sandman, chest exposed, the word "HEIDI" displayed written accross it.] BL: Oooh, yuck! [In the cage, Verhoeven is noticably upset. Heidi releases her hold, and staggers to the ropes. When she is near, Sandman tosses a handful of his trademark dust in her face. Blinded, Heidi staggers around the ring. Sasha stumbles to her feet, obviously in discomfort, but not so unaware as to execute a sunset flip, pinning Nurse Heidi. Heidi is unable to break free. The ref counts - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: Sasha gets the pin! What do you think of _that_, Becky? BL: Heidi was robbed. The ref was checking on Sasha instead of watching the match. He was paying atention to Sasha, not the action. Did Shakespeare bribe this guy too? SR: Someone really ought to see if Heidi is alright. Maybe she needs mouth-to-mouth. I'd better go check. TD & BL: Sit down, Steve! [Sandman immediately exits, laughing. Heidi claws at her eyes, Sasha retreats to a corner. The cages start to lower. When the cage is low enough, Verhoeven leaps to the mat, first rushing after Sandman. He stops, returns to Heidi, lifting her into his arms, and sets off once again in pursuit of the Sandman. In the ring, Sasha joyously hugs Psycho. He holds her hand up in victory and starts a chant of "Sasha! Sasha!" which continues to echo long after they exit.] TD: Do you mind if I speak again now, Becky? BL: Yes. TD: Oh... well, I'm afraid I have to. Fans, we're now mere moments away from the greatest wrestling extravaganza in history: twenty-four men will battle it out in Lethal Lottery tag team elimination action, whittling down the field to twelve, who will then square off in an over the top rope Battle Royal to determine the top contenders to the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship, and the IIWF Intercontinental Championship; two championship triangle matches; and two of the most eagerly-awaited title matches of the year, as Dan Kauffman defends the World title against Deathbringer, and Billy Shakespeare defends his Intercontinental Championship against "Painbringer" Billy Sexton. All that and more coming up in just over one minute from now! It's time for Snow Brawl! [Cut to the ring. Sparkplug Lee stands with microphone in hand, and begins a one minute countdown over the PA system. The crowd chants along excitedly as spotlights swirl all over the arena. The countdown approaches the ten second mark. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+