[Fade up on footage subtitled, "Earlier this week." Brian Lau stands in front of the camera in his office of the Dojo. Casey sits behind Brian's desk, fiddling with the IIWF World title. There is a television monitor beside Brian, and the World title match from Saturday Night is being played on the screen.] BL: Ladies and gentlemen, fans of the IIWF, I have called this camera crew here today to plead the case of the Syndicate. As you all know, Casey James met champion Dan Kauffman in the ring on Saturday night for the IIWF World title. The match was long and very taxing on both men. Nearing the end of the match, however, it was fairly obvious that Mr. James had the advantage, and victory was surely his. As you will see here on the monitor, Mr. Kauffman decided to leave the ring and begin attacking Chris Quigley. Casey remained in the match, and Kauffman turned his attentions on the attack of his former friend. The reasons behind this attack are unimportant. What is important is that the bell was rung at this point. No official statement had been made as to the outcome of the match. This cannot be ruled a disqualification, even though both men were victims of outside interference. This was a no-DQ match. Neither men could have been counted out, since there was a stipulation that ruled out the possibility. No contest? Ask each man involved whether that match was a contest or not. The only decision that would make any sense is that Dan Kauffman forfeited the match in order to play with his little friends. In that case, your new world champion is none other than Casey "Blackheart" James. [Casey looks up from the belt, but continues to mess around with it.] CJ: Kauffman, you robbed me. I wanted to pin your shoulders to the mat. Quigley, you stuck your nose in my business, and you will pay. Remember that I've beaten you twice, both at major events, and you've never beaten me. Quigley is the least of my problems right now. Right now, I'm still fuming at Kauffman. Dan, your little stunt was really cute, going after Quigley like that and leaving me out to dry. You forgot one thing, though, Kauffman. You don't have what it takes to run with people like me. You can call yourself a "bad guy," but you'll never be one. Wanna know why? Because you can't back it up. Let's see if you've got the guts to meet me again. Maybe you think I stole your belt. You want it? Come and get it. I want you to come and try and take this belt away from me. In the ring, in the street, wherever. [Casey seems to have accomplished what he was doing with the belt. He pulls a gold plate from the face of the belt.] CJ: There we go... That thing was a bitch to get off, I'll tell you... Brian, give me that one you had made... [Brian hands Casey another gold plate, and Casey throws the original one over his shoulder. Casey fastens the new plate to the belt.] CJ: That's better... [Casey turns the belt towards the camera, which zooms in on the prize. The belt is polished up, shining like the sun. The nameplate on the bottom of the belt reads "The Syndicate."] CJ: This belt isn't yours anymore, Danny boy... Take a look at the future. BL: Casey "Blackheart" James, champion of the Syndicate. [James runs a covetous hand over the face of the belt as Brian smiles and nods behind him. The opening graphics explode onto the screen and the introduction music kicks in:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== W + E + D + N + E + S + D + A + Y W + A + R R + O + O + M ----------------------------------------------- + 8 January 1997 + [Fade through to a darkened studio: two figures sit at opposite ends of a curved desk, behind which a large video wall fades into life with the IIWF logo. The studio lights rise, and the figures are revealed to be announcers Tim Dross and Becky LaRue. Dross looks up from his papers and speaks:] TD: Good evening, folks, and welcome to another edition of IIWF Wednesday War Room. I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is the lovely Becky LaRue. The IIWF is still in shock following the events of last Saturday night, folks, and as you saw at the top of the hour, the repercussions are going to be felt for some time. BL: I must admit that I was surprised at Kauffman's guts, Timmy. I never thought he'd come to his senses and realise that the adulation of the fans ultimately leaves you with a profound emptiness, as if one had been prostituting oneself for the desires of others in a vain search for self-worth. TD: You said a bundle there, Becky. BL: Those college classes are really starting to pay off. TD: Yes. You now _sound_ intelligent, even if... Yow! Don't throw things at me! BL: Well, you're too far away for me to kick you. TD: That's why the producers made the desk this big. Fans, we've got a great deal to get through here tonight in the War Room. In this hour: [The IIWF logo fades from the video wall behind the desk, and is replaced by footage: the Sandman and Creed square off in the ring.] TD: We'll find out whether the Sandman and Creed will be able to settle the differences which cost them their shot at the Lethal Lottery three weeks ago. [Footage: an eagle flies out into the aisle and swoops over the excited crowd as newcomer Nightwing steps out into the arena, hi-fiving some fans before the eagle returns and lands on his arm.] TD: We'll find out how the Native American sensation, Nightwing, along with his eagle, Chiquoit, fares in his first outing. BL: That's no eagle, Timmy. It's a turkey. Perhaps we could make some Chiquoit McNuggets. [Footage: cut to the head of the aisle in the IIWF Coliseum. The video wall shows a dark, mist-enshrouded night on a lonely forested path, all is quiet but for the echoing thudding sound of an approaching horse. The mist begins to swirl as the sound draws nearer, then suddenly a huge black stallion breaks through the mist carrying a large man. The horse's hooves gouge into the overgrown path as it screams to a halt, steam billowing from its nostrils. The man, dressed in a highwayman's regalia, reaches down and draws a flintlock from his belt. In one fluid movement, he aims the pistol at the camera and draws the trigger back. A flare from the muzzle, accompanies the flash of gunpowder as an iron ball smashes into the camera shattering it and leaving the video wall black. "Stand and Deliver" starts up over the PA and the Highwayman emerges to a big pop.] TD: Another newcomer, the Highwayman, was also in action tonight against former three-time Intercontinental Champion Tiger Claw. We'll have the details of that great match. [Footage: a costumed mascot, dressed as an oversized crocodile, walks down one of the aisles in the stands.] TD: We'll find out why this merry mascot wasn't exactly what he seemed to be. [Footage: "Superstar" Stud Stetson walks down the aisle, proudly displaying his unsanctioned Superstar belt. Lace walks by his side.] TD: We'll find out why the self-proclaimed "Superstar" found his star shining a little less brightly tonight when he faced Casey James. [Footage: "Desirable" Danny Dynamite, "Maverick" Michael Reyna and Dan Kauffman make their way down the aisle to a big heel pop.] TD: And we'll find out how the Players' Club fare in six man tag action. Plus a great deal more. BL: But first, let me break an interesting news story regarding the Venusian Death Cell. TD: [coldly] Oh, _him_. BL: One of these days the authorities are going to catch up with you for those murder attempts, Timmy. Anyway, I went to speak with the Venusian Death Cell. Let's roll that footage! [Cut to footage, subtitled "Yesterday." The Venusian Death Cell stands in the IIWF interview room with "Outlaw" Josey Wales and Becky LaRue.] BL: I'm here with _the_ most dangerous wrestler in the IIWF today, and every day, and one of my personal favorites, the Venusian Death Cell. [The Cell looks at the camera and snarls.] BL: And with him is his new manager... JW: Well, Becky, not exactly _new_. [Josey puffs on his cigar] The two of us agreed to postpone our former arrangement when the Cell left for Japan in July. It's taken us a while, but we've come to an agreement, and I'll be taking care of his business as of today. BL: I see. So, Cell, you're happy with this arrangement, are you? [The VDC goes to spit some green fluid, but refrains from doing so.] VDC: Becky, you know as well as I do. I've been losing matches in this federation against guys who six months ago wouldn't have stood a chance against me. Josey's just the man to get me back on track, believe me. [The Cell turns around and spits against the backdrop, then turns back round and speaks some more. Josey takes off his hat and scratches his head.] I see the Hangman is back and threatening _me_! Hangman, I've said it before, I'll say it again. You didn't beat me. I see you claim it's your best ever victory and the match was declared a draw. Shows how "dangerous" you are. We'll get a match on at some point, but _I_ have some unfinished business of my own. Onslaught thinks he can "retire" me, just like you do, Hangman. I'd offer to take the two of you on together in a handicap match, but I know it'd never be allowed. But I wouldn't want even you to suffer tagging with that oik, Hangman. [The Cell turns around again and spits. Josey Wales just laughs.] Onslaught, you are a stupid man. You want me to forget the fact you forced Fisto Flash out of the IIWF? How can I when you mention it every five minutes?! It means nothing to me anyway. Why should it? You can beat a jobber with a metal fist. So what? [The Cell turns around and punches a hole in the backdrop.] JW: Calm down, calm down. Onslaught, Saturday Night, you against the Cell. If you want him he's yours. BL: Well, surely he can't be stupid enough to accept that? JW: Believe me, he is. [Wales and the Cell leave the room after exchanging pleasantries as the screen fades. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Is this the beginning of a renaissance for the Posse? The Venusian Death Cell back under the tutelage of Josey Wales... a prudent move. Okay, fans, without further ado, let's move on to discuss the matches that went down tonight in the IIWF Coliseum. Our broadcast colleague, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, is down in the Coliseum as we speak. [A disgruntled Steve Roberts appears on the video wall. He stands in front of the empty ring, which is illuminated by the overhead lighting rig. The rest of the Coliseum is in almost total darkness. A few cleaning staff absently sweep up the litter left by the departed crowd.] SR: Yeah, I'm here, Dross. Once again, Steve Roberts draws the short straw. And I don't even get a beer. TD: What about the action tonight, Steve? SR: What about it? TD: Any preliminary comments? SR: No. TD: None at all? SR: No. TD: Er... okay. We'll come back to you, Steve. SR: You do that. I'm not going anywhere. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall.] TD: We saw some tremendous action in the IIWF Coliseum tonight, folks. Let's go to the recap. [Graphics showing the combatants and their respective stats fade onto the video wall:] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= NIGHTWING vs. JUMPIN' JACK =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 6'3" HEIGHT 6'2" 235lbs WEIGHT 240lbs Aerial, Intelligence, ATTRIBUTES Tripping, Pratfalls, Endurance Squirting ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: Tonight we got our first look at newcomer Nightwing when he made his IIWF debut against Jumpin' Jack. He toyed with the unfortunate clown throughout the match, showing the crowd what he's capable of -- and his arsenal is certainly impressive. Nightwing floored Jack with a number of top-rope manoeuvres, including a spectacular flying clothesline and a dropkick, and also demonstrated his devastating tomahawk chop and spinning heel kick. In the end, however, he scored his victory with the "Totem Drop" -- a superplex followed by a moonsault splash! What a move that is, Becky. BL: I'm not so sure that this runtweight Injun ought to spend so much time flying around the ring -- he could find his feathers plucked before very long. TD: We'll see about that. Nightwing's match was briefly interrupted by the inexplicable presence of one "Sychosys" Joe Petrow, who came out into the aisle for a short time, jawed with a few fans at ringside, and then disappeared back into the locker room area. He didn't seem to have any interest in the match, or in Nightwing for that matter, and he didn't make any trouble. Petrow is a very strange guy, Becky. BL: Strange, but cute in a crispy kind of way. TD: Er... if you say so, Becky. [WINNER: Nightwing by pinfall in 4:21.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Players' Club: DYNAMITE, REYNA & KAUFFMAN vs. GECKO, NORTON & McARTHUR =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 5'11" 6' 6'1" HEIGHT 6'1" 6' 6'1" 235lbs 235lbs 230lbs WEIGHT 225lbs 245lbs 250lbs Endur. Intel. Endur. ATTRIBUTES Mat Mat Mat Aerial Tech. Intel. Tech. Tech. Brawl. Team. Team. Tech. Aerial Aerial Cheat. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: We'd not seen the Players' Club in six-man tag action before tonight, and they were certainly impressive. Before we discuss the match, let's go to comments from the three men who are currently at the centre of a great deal of controversy here in the IIWF: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier this week." Slow motion scenes of Danny Dynamite, Micheal Reyna and Dan Kauffman kicking and beating Chris Quigley. The sound of the announcer saying "I can't believe what I'm seeing!" is heard as they spike-bomb Quigley. Cut to the Syndicate jumping all three members of The Players' Club, as the voice is heard saying "All hell has broken loose!" Cut to Dynamite, Reyna and Kauffman sitting in a room, with the GCW global tag titles, and the FOPEW U.S. titles..] DDD: They said we needed to cut the gloating, the cursing, the "extreme" side we had. Reyna: They all said the losses we had served as a "wake up call", and they said we have lost our edge in tag team wrestling... DDD: So, we said they can shove that "wake up call" up their ass, and get ready for a _real_ wake up call... That wake up call started with Quigley. Listen up, cockroach! You look upon The Players' Club as the "bodyguards" of the IIWF Champ. You want a piece of this man [points to Kauffman], you ask US first... And if we deem you worthy, you get it... Reyna: And Chrissy... You're not worthy. We proved that to you, and the whole world, when we beat the hell outta you. Then came down the Syndicate. Casey James... you have our boy's title now, but we all know _who_ the champion is, and now you and your boys will have to deal with us! You know, we were going to offer you a slot in the PC, but you stuck with that second-rate Syndicate bunch... DDD: Not a problem.. hang with the pathetic Syndicate! But you'll have to answer to _me_, and until you do, our little score will _never_ be resolved! You and your two-bit get-along gang took it TOO FAR! In this world, there are TWO things you don't do.. Piss in the wind, and mess with The Players' Club.. James.. Syndicate.. you're the NEXT stepping stone in OUR path to being the WORLD tag team champs... A step that leads to those Disciples. Boys, it takes more than two shots with golden belts to keep us down, and since you are Syndicate brand, you WILL be beaten! DK: Casey James, wear that belt with as much bravado as you want to, 'cause we all know who the champ is, boy. I walked into your style of a match, and you gave me one hell of a beating. I'm tired of taking the beatings, and now I'm going to start dishing some out! No one knows the kind of offense I bring to the table... well, the offense starts NOW! Speaking of offense, top of the list is Chris Quigley... that is, if he ever recovers from our "gift" to him. You've cost me too many damn matches and given me too many headaches for me to sit idle on the side. You always say that you are the best wrestler in the world today. Maybe. Maybe not. The days of fan appreciation and sportsmanlike conduct are over! I'm best when I'm businesslike, and now the whole world will see Dan Kauffman at his real best! IIWF, don't be shocked... I'm still YOUR champ.. and soon, very soon, WE will be your champs.. DDD: Syndicate... Boys, it's been awhile since I saw you guys together.. Are you ready for the BEST team you've ever faced, ever gonna have to step in the ring with? We'll prove to the world you should have STAYED disbanded. Reyna: IIWF... like we said before... it all STARTS and ENDS with the Players' Club... And from the looks of it... It's NEVER gonna end.. DK: The show is over, the business begins, and we won't stop till we get all the way to the top... Players' Club style! DDD: Seems the IIWF doesn't know what's hit them. You all wanna sit and bitch about why we do what we do? Chrissy got a taste of what happens when you talk [bleep] and can't back it up.. Reyna: So, the IIWF goes and sticks us in a six-man with... who? El Gato Gordo? Ned Flanders? Molly McButter? Who the hell are these losers? DK: These jobbers, these idiots, these three are going to be the VICTIMS of another ruthless lesson from yours truly... The BEST group of athletes in ALL of wrestling.. DDD: IIWF.. take a look at YOUR champions. Syndicate... Take a look at your NIGHTMARE! [Cut back to the studio.] TD: The Syndicate did indeed come out to get a look at the Players' Club tonight, and they must have left impressed with what they saw. Dynamite, Reyna and Kauffman completely dominated their opposition, quickly eliminating Gecko and McArthur from the ring before concentrating their assault on Ned Norton. Norton was subjected not only to Kauffman's vicious "Neverland" -- an inverted DDT all the way from the top rope -- but also to the force of the deadly spike-powerbomb. After those two manoeuvres, the referee could have counted Norton's shoulders down for a count of a hundred. The Syndicate taunted the Players' Club from the aisle, but left without incident. Meanwhile, the trio took the microphones and proved that while they may be impressive in the ring, they seem to prefer words to action: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." The Players' Club stand in the ring following their victory. Kauffman signals for the microphone, and yells at the crowd to shut up as he tries to speak.] DK: Now that everyone has seen just HOW the Players' Club operates, it's time to talk a little business, as I do so well... DDD: But I think I'm up first, and there is another thing that's _up_. That thing is the Dark Disciples' reign at the top of the IIWF Tag scene! Oh fellas? Guess who's coming to dinner? MR: That's right! Wherever you two losers go, the Players' Club will NEVER be far behind. And when I say the Players' Club, I mean all THREE of us! DK: Whoa, Mikey. Is it really still three? I mean, who knows, the number could be FOUR for all we know... or for that matter, it could be FIVE! You just never know anymore! You see, folks, THAT is how we operate. We come with a plan. We EXECUTE a plan! It's that simple. DDD: Speaking of simple, I had a chance to go see lil' Chris Quigley in the EM ward the other day... Not a sight for the meek or the weak, I assure you. It's a shame... you know, guys, I don't think we should have crippled him. MR: And why is that? DDD: 'Cause I kind of enjoyed kicking his lil' butt! In fact, I wouldn't have minded doin' it AGAIN! [All three PC members laugh in unison as a steady shower of boos from the irate crowd forces them to pause.] DK: But mixed in to all this wonderful humor... hehe... is something which I'm not very pleased about... haha... [Kauffman looks out into the crowd with a sudden look of anger which silences the majority of the fans.] DK: Casey James... I thought you had learned values when growing up. You don't steal things that belong to other people. It gets you in busloads of trouble. Pal, I know possession is nine tenths of the law. Well, the Players' Club IS the law, and when I get the chance, you will come face to face with your fate, cause I'm gonna take you to Neverland! DDD: Disciples... your careers... and the IIWF Tag belts.. are OURS! MR: It all begins and ends with the Player's Club... That's not a promise, a reason or a quote... DK: Just a fact. No more pleasure. No more fun. The act of business has begun... [The crowd erupts in jeers once more as Kauffman, Reyna and Dynamite leave the ring, jawing with fans at ringside and up the aisle. Cut back to the studio.] BL: I'm still getting used to hearing the crowd boo Kauffman, Timmy. TD: It does seem strange, Becky, but the IIWF Champion really doesn't seem to care in the slightest about the fans' reaction to him and the rest of the Players' Club any more. [WINNERS: The Players' Club by pinfall in 2:14.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THE SANDMAN vs. CREED =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 6'7" HEIGHT 6'4" 275lbs WEIGHT 275lbs Strength, Intelligence ATTRIBUTES Toughness, Intelligence, Technical Strength ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: The Sandman is headed towards a big triangle match with Otto Verhoeven and Harlequin Tragedy this Saturday Night, and he felt that nothing less than victory tonight against Creed would restore his momentum. Creed's manager Jack Montgomery, on the other hand, wanted to raise the stakes a little. Let's take a look: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier tonight." The "CEO" Jack Montgomery and Creed make their way down to the ring, bathed in red light. They both enter the ring, and Montgomery takes the microphone from Sparkplug Lee.] CEO: Hey, Sandboy, from what I hear, there's going to be a triangle match right here Saturday Night, with Verhoeven, Tragedy, and of all people, you. Frankly, Sandboy, given the angles Creed's been twisting your body into recently, I don't think you can keep your geometric end of the bargain. So I'll make you a proposal, once Creed beats you tonight -- leaves you laid out in the middle of the ring again -- you back out of your spot in the triangle match and let a real wrestler compete. You all know Creed's time is coming -- it may as well start Saturday night! [Montgomery hands the microphone back to Sparkplug amidst a chorus of jeers. Cut back to the studio.] TD: The Sandman came out and gladly accepted the challenge, and the match got underway. These two athletes battled in a gruelling match for more than twenty minutes, Creed's relentless and merciless style giving the Sandman considerable problems, but the silent one wasn't able to put the Sandman down for the three count. BL: Creed may be a little creepy, but you have to admire his methodical style -- he recognised the strengths of the Sandman and worked on them throughout the match. Creed kept the Sandman's arms tied up and wore him down with punches to the torso. TD: Indeed. Although possibly as effective as Creed's physical tactics were the psychological taunts from Montgomery on the outside -- the "CEO" waved a red hourglass at the Sandman throughout the match, as if to say that his sands of time were running out. That only served to rile the Sandman even more, and he came after Creed more aggressively. However, the fans were robbed of a conclusive finish to this fine athletic contest when Otto Verhoeven ran down to the ring and attacked the Sandman, causing Creed's disqualification. Creed was clearly very unhappy at the loss, and took a few shots at the Butcher before being held back by Montgomery and ushered back up the aisle. Verhoeven and the Sandman brawled in the ring, but the fatigued Sandman was no match for the Butcher, and succumbed to the attack. It was only thanks to the intervention of the Harlequins that the Sandman was saved from injury. BL: These events put an interesting spin on Saturday night's triangle match, Timmy -- from the look of things tonight, it's going to be two against one, with Chaos and the Sandman working together to take out the Butcher... although they'll fail, of course. TD: I wouldn't be so sure. Verhoeven's been beating on the Sandman and Chaos for some time now -- sooner or later, they're going to bite back. It could well be this Saturday Night. [WINNER: The Sandman by disqualification at 24:11.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TIGER CLAW vs. HIGHWAYMAN =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 6'2" HEIGHT 6'4" 220lbs WEIGHT 285lbs Endurance, Intelligence, ATTRIBUTES Strength, Intelligence, Technical Brawling ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: Newcomer met veteran in this exciting match, and the Highwayman certainly knows how to make an entrance, as we saw earlier. However, this powerful newcomer was ultimately handed the victory in his debut match by the interference of the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder in one of the more bizarre attacks in recent IIWF history. Thunder spoke with Larry Morton before the show began in the Coliseum tonight, and made it clear that he had plans for Tiger Claw: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Larry Morton is standing in the locker room with a very agitated Brody Thunder. Thunder is wearing jeans and a black t-shirt which reads: "EVIL, MEAN & NASTY". He's chewing on his trademark cigar as the interview begins.] LM: Okay, I'm here in the locker room with the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder. Mr Thunder, it appears that the Syndicate, in particular one Tiger Claw, has made you a marked man. And so far you haven't been able to get him in the ring to settle this situation. Your comments? [Thunder looks at Morton like he's got a third eye.] BT: Ya wanna know what my comments are, huh? Okay then... here they are. Claw... you an' that buncha snakes have been runnin' roughshod over the IIWF fer quite awhile now. Well guess what son? The ride stops here. Ya may be able to do alot o' things to alot o' people but... this here's one man who's ain't gonna just back down cuz the numbers are on yer side. No sir, yer lookin' at the man who's gonna slap the taste outta yer mouth the first chance I get. I told ya this ain't no game to me, pal. This is how I make my livin'... beatin' punks like you an' gettin' a paycheck fer my trouble. LM: Is it true that President Dan Spreadbury has informed the security here tonight to be on the look out for you and to keep you from ringside during any of the Syndicate's matches? [Again Thunder looks at Larry but this time with disdain.] BT: On the lookout fer me? Trouble from me? Where the hell were the security when that buncha jackals jumped ol' Billy Shakespeare an' me? Where was security when Claw come down to the ring just as I was about to put that pretty-boy Steele through the mat? I'll tell ya where they were. They were scared. Scared o' the Syndicate and gettin' involved, the tender-foots. Hell, the only man I ever feared is dead an' buried next to my momma. So security can surround the ring with tanks fer all I care. If there's a way to get to you, Claw, you can bet I'll find it. Maybe in the ring. Maybe in the dressing room. Maybe in the parkin' lot outside. But I WILL get ya, son. That ain't a threat... that's a fact about to happen. [Larry appears to be listening in his earpiece as Thunder finishes his statement.] LM: Ah... Okay. Got it. Okay,I've just been informed that the IIWF has sanctioned a match between you and Tiger Claw for this Saturday night's card. Looks like you'll get your chance after all. BT: Morton...Claw ain't gonna make it to Saturday night. That's the gospel truth. If ya don't believe me then stick around. Claw, ya better go git yerself one o' Danny Webster's dictionaries, son. Learn how to spell Thunder... cuz it's gonna be yer epitaph. [Thunder abruptly brushes by Larry and off camera.] LM: Well, there you have it from the Lone Wolf himself, Brody Thunder. I don't think we've heard the last of this situation tonight. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: And we hadn't. Let's go to Steve Roberts to find out what happened next. [Tim and Becky turn to face the video wall, on which appears the image of Steve Roberts standing beside the ring in the Coliseum.] SR: Throughout the show in the Coliseum tonight, a mascot in a crocodile costume wandered the aisles in the stands, scaring all the little kids and advertising the basketball team who play in the Coliseum on its off-nights... at least, that's what we thought. During the match between Claw and the Highwayman, the mascot strayed very close to ringside, until he finally hopped over the steel crowd barriers into the ringside enclosure. The mascot pulled down the top rope as Claw was running into them, causing him to tumble out of the ring to the outside. While Brian Lau argued with the official about the interference, the mascot proceeded to beat viciously on Tiger Claw before rolling him back into the ring -- all behind the back of the official. The mascot then began to make his way up the aisle, and stood there watching the conclusion of the match. Meanwhile, in the ring, the Highwayman took advantage of Claw's decimation, finishing him off with his devastating neckbreaker, the "Daylight Robbery." Brian Lau was beside himself, and even more so when the mascot removed his headgear to reveal none other than Brody Thunder himself! BL: I really have to wonder whether Tiger Claw is spreading himself a little too thin, since he's been training Casey James intensively over the past few weeks on top of his own rigorous schedule. Lau's working him too hard, and he'll never regain his past form unless he takes his foot off the gas a little. TD: You could be right, Becky. But we mustn't take anything away from the Highwayman, who is an impressive athlete in his own right. He's a well-built individual, close to three hundred pounds, and he possesses some very effective power manoeuvres. He was able to pull out some of his big guns in this match against a significantly lighter opponent, and it seems that his bear hug was particularly effective in wearing Claw down. The gutwrench suplex with which he floored Claw in the early going of the match was also a devastating manoeuvre. I see big things in the future of the Highwayman, and the fans were equally impressed with him. SR: Well, that proves it. He's a loser. TD: Thanks for that valuable insight, Steve. We'll come back to you later on. SR: Gee, I can hardly wait. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall as Becky and Tim turn back to the cameras.] [WINNER: Highwayman by pinfall in 16:47.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= G.W.R.: Zodiac Connection: LOCO & SPOILER vs. SCORPIO & TAURUS =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 5'10" 5'11" HEIGHT 6'1" 6'4" 305lbs 240lbs WEIGHT 225lbs 346lbs Strength Endurance ATTRIBUTES Endurance Strength Brawling Intelligence Aerial Brawling Teamwork Teamwork Teamwork Teamwork ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: The Zodiac Connection had a little surprise for us tonight in the form of their new manager... or should I say managers? Scorpio and Taurus were accompanied to the ring by a pair of beautiful young ladies, and I can only surmise that they were identical twins, especially given their collective name, Gemini. Perhaps most spookily, they appeared to be shouting commands to the Zodiacs in unison. BL: They're a pair of dumb blondes, Timmy. They share the same brain cell. TD: That's not nice, Becky. Nonetheless, Gemini's presence seemed to make a world of difference to the Zodiacs' performance in the ring tonight, so much so that General Kane's mysterious and bulky bodyguard felt the need to put the boots to Scorpio when he was thrown over the top rope to the outside. Taurus came to his partner's aid, and in the confusion, G.W.R. attempted to uneven the playing field a little by cracking Taurus over the head with a steel chair -- nevertheless, the referee spotted the attack, and called for the disqualification. BL: I can only imagine that G.W.R. are getting frustrated at not being able to get the Armed Forces off their backs. It's no bad thing to become more aggressive... TD: [interrupting] There is if being aggressive means hitting people with steel chairs, Becky. BL: Not if you don't get caught. And that's what G.W.R. will have to work on. Cunning is the name of the game, and I'm sure that General Kane will be able to direct his men towards that aim. [WINNERS: The Zodiac Connection by disqualification at 9:11.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= MR. DAMAGE vs. HARLEQUIN CHAOS =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 6'3" HEIGHT 6'7" 245lbs WEIGHT 325lbs Endurance, Intelligence, ATTRIBUTES Strength, Technical, Cheating Teamwork ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: Mr. Damage has just returned from a short tour of his native Australia, and is more determined now than ever to turn around his fortunes in the IIWF. He wanted the revival to start tonight against Harlequin Chaos, who was in no mood to be anybody's revival but his own: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier tonight." Chaos and Melody are in the locker room prior to their match.] CHAOS: But it was so loud... I couldn't help myself! MELODY: There, there. Noone is blaming you for anything. CHAOS: But all the jets! All the shouting! How can I control my mind if I can't hear the music?! MELODY: We're not in Alaska now. You can hear me. CHAOS: And that voice of Damage's... it's so... irritating! [Chaos punches in the door of one of the lockers. Melody puts her hand on Chaos' shoulder and softly sings into his ear.] CHAOS: Of course. It's all so clear now! MELODY: [singing] Mr. Damage can't hurt you.... CHAOS: The equations are coalescing into a greater formula. MELODY: [singing] Nobody an beat you.... CHAOS: There is only one thing for me to do. [Chaos stands up and walks to the door.] MELODY: And that would be? CHAOS: I'M GONNA RIP DAMAGE'S STUPID HEAD OFF! [Chaos kicks down the locker room door and rushes towrad the arena floor.] MELODY: Hey! Wait up! [Melody runs after Chaos. Cut back to the studio.] BL: What a bizarre couple. TD: That's the Harlequins all over, Becky. And Chaos lived up to his name in the ring tonight -- he was as unpredictable as always. He came out against Damage very aggressively, but found that despite his prodigous size, he was unable to best him in a knock-down, drag-out slugfest. Damage used his quickness and agility to keep out of the way of Chaos' biggest moves, and wrestled a defensive match, striking out when he had Chaos off-balance. As a result, the Antipodean athlete with an attitude managed to put Chaos down on the mat long enough for him to hit his Thunderstruck legdrop from the top rope. It's hard to know whether Chaos would have kicked out of the ensuing cover, since Mr. Damage put his feet on the ropes for extra leverage as he pinned him, much to the distress of Harlequin Melody. Wisely, Damage made a quick exit, as Chaos snapped and went berzerk. Even the dulcet tones of Melody didn't seem to be enough to calm him for some time, and he charged backstage. [WINNER: Mr. Damage by pinfall in 13:32.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= OTTO "THE BUTCHER" VERHOEVEN vs. SCOTT "THE WHINE" BLOOM =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 6'8" HEIGHT 5'10" 340lbs WEIGHT 195lbs Strength, Brawling, Cheating ATTRIBUTES Whining, Moaning, Grizzling ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: Otto Verhoeven had already made his presence felt in the Coliseum tonight when he attacked the Sandman, but for this match against the Whine, he brought backup to the ring with him. The Butcher was accompanied by the bizarre Cheshire, who appears to be developing quite a fixation on Nurse Heidi himself. He spent a great deal of the match giggling at her, waving and saying "cooee!" BL: That guy is several elephants short of a circus, Timmy. TD: He certainly is. Nonetheless, Otto Verhoeven didn't let any outside distractions reduce his effectiveness against the "Whine" in this short-lived match tonight. Bloom didn't get in a single shot as Verhoeven once again demonstrated why he is widely-regarded as the most dangerous man in the IIWF today. The Teutonic terror finished off his opponent with not only the Meathook second rope chokeslam, but also two Slaughterslams. After the pinfall, he made the following comments: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Otto Verhoeven stands over the obviously unconscious Scott "the Whine" Bloom. Nurse Heidi hands him the microphone and stomps on Bloom's head several times for good measure.] OV: Sandman, I hope you paid close attention tonight, because this was just an example what will happen to you on Saturday Night. Do you have a death wish, coward, or are you just one of those machosi... masocho... one of those damned perverts who enjoys being beaten up? I sure don't care, because you again laid your stinking hands on mein maedchen, my fiancee, and I am going to make sure that this won't happen again. And, in the same match, I am also going to prove that I am able to destroy Harlequin Tragedy, who managed to score a DQ and a countout win! Unbelievable luck! In that triangle match, the most dangerous man in the IIWF will show once again that it is the German juggernaut who can WIPE OUT EVERY AMERICAN IMBECILE AND DRAG HIM INTO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE! [He spits on Scott "the Whine" Bloom and the German couple leaves the ring. Cut back to the studio.] TD: That triangle match this Saturday Night is going to be an incredible battle, that's for sure. [WINNER: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven by pinfall in 1:45.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= CASEY "BLACKHEART" JAMES vs. "SUPERSTAR" STUD STETSON =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 6'6" HEIGHT 6'7" 320lbs WEIGHT 285lbs Strength, Brawling ATTRIBUTES Intelligence, Cheating, Mat Brawling ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: Stud Stetson has been uncharacteristically quiet since the unveiling of his unsanctioned Superstar Championship belt at Snow Brawl three weeks ago, and in the ring tonight he came up against the other man who currently holds a belt that he shouldn't, Casey James. One of them, however, found himself leaving the ring without his belt. Casey looked as aggressive tonight as he did on Saturday against Dan Kauffman, but Stetson wanted to wrestle a far cagier match. He used stalling tactics in the early part of the encounter, going to the outside or the ropes every time Casey began to string together any offense. Eventually, however, Casey caught up with Stetson, and he scored the victory when the self-proclaimed "Superstar" was distracted by the arrival of a masked wrestler at ringside. Let's go to Steve Roberts in the Coliseum for details: [Steve Roberts appears on the video wall behind the desk.] SR: I don't know who this wiseguy was, Dross, but he was clearly completely unashamed of his actions. This guy wasn't too big -- probably somewhere around the 220lbs mark -- and he looked familiar, but since his face was covered by a mask, I couldn't place it. The masked man came down to ringside, went over to the timekeeper's table, snatched the Superstar belt away from the officials there, flaunted it at Stetson, and headed up the aisle. Stetson stood by the ropes and yelled at the masked man to return the belt, and was jumped from behind by Casey James, who dumped him on his head with a vicious belly-to-back suplex before setting him up for the Black Death spinebuster for the three count. TD: Were you able to find the masked wrestler backstage, Steve? SR: No, Dross. I was busy. TD: Busy? Doing what? SR: Giving my phone number to the blonde in the front row. TD: Of course. Well, thanks for your on the spot reports, Steve. SR: The pleasure was all yours, Dross. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall as Tim and Becky turn back to face the cameras.] TD: You can bet that Stetson isn't going to be too thrilled about losing that title, Becky. BL: Personally, I think the thing's so hideous, he's better off without it. [WINNER: Casey "Blackheart" James by pinfall in 8:31.] TD: Okay, folks, we're very nearly out of time here tonight in the War Room, but before we go, let's take a quick look ahead to this Saturday Night's blockbusting live event. We'll see that triangle match between Otto Verhoeven, the Sandman and Harlequin Tragedy. The "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder and Tiger Claw will finally meet one on one, "Sychosys" Joe Petrow will make his debut, the Venusian Death Cell is scheduled to meet Onslaught, and Lord Byron will return from the tour of Japan to face the unorthodox Dirt Dog Unique Allah: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Today." Dirt Dog Unique Allah sits in his empty apartment, rocking back and forth and sobbing. Medusa kneels next to him and rubs his back.] Unique: They say I killed the Heart of America! I killed a country man! I killed the American Patriot! Oh man, I didn't mean to do nothin' wrong like that! Honest! I was just playin' around! Damn, why he gotta go have a soft head like that! I'm a good guy, you know! I'm a good guy! And that wasn't supposed to happen. [There seem to be real tears in Unique's eyes.] Unique: See, I took a vow! I pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States. And now I done went and sullied it. Well, they say I got a chance to make my name back by taking out Lord Byron! Well, I say yeah! That's a knucklehead's been needing a beating for a damn long time and I'm just the man to do it! I gotta make up for the Patriot. He's a real cool guy when you really ... really get to know him. But let me tell you something. By the Rocket's red glare I'm comin' to serve Lord Byron a dose of ol' dirty insulin! Byron, you're gonna have the Dirt Dog on the brain. Then maybe you'll really ... really begin to understand what all this is about. It's about the fans, man. It's about the fame! The wondrous skills displayed! It's all about makin' that sick little kid smile! [Unique smiles broadly.] Unique: Yeah, Medusa. That's exactly what I'll do. I'll beat Byron for the good ol' red-white-and blue! Then they'll all see that I love my country! And we'll pay England back for the revolution! Medusa: Unique, you won that war a long time ago. Unique: But I wasn't there. I didn't get a chance to fight. So let me try it this time. That should be fun! Yeah! The love is back! God bless all y'all, muhfuhs! [Cut back to the studio.] TD: I never know what to make of Allah at all. Plus we'll see Serge Annis take on the Hangman, and the Alphabet Boys face the Arabian Knights. We were also scheduled to see Takezo Musashi defend his IIWF Cruiserweight Championship against the man who challenged him last Saturday Night, Cheshire, but it now appears that Cheshire may have to answer another challenge before he gets his title match with Musashi: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Last Saturday." Randy Acorn's locker room door. The door is opened and Randy Acorn is seen contemplating his earlier match. Randy looks up to see the camera but this time instead of an arrogant smile, a stern expression is on his face. He stands up, wipes a bead of sweat from his forehead and begins to speak:] RA: This is bull[bleep]! Everytime I'm about to win in this freakin' fed, I get screwed over by someone else's interferance. Cheshire, that was one hell of an entrance, one that I would pride myself on, but it was bad timing and in bad taste. I had already beaten Mitsubishi and then you had to come in and rip my victory right out of my hands. I don't know what in the hell you were thinking but now you've got a fight on your hands. It's true that you've already got a title shot, but let's make it interesting. Step into the ring with me and if I win, then I get your shot at Mitsubishi, if I lose, then you go ahead and take your shot and I'll even be in your corner to root for you to win. [Acorn, seemingly tired, takes a seat again and then continues to speak] Don't get me wrong Cheshire, I don't like you. In fact, I don't like anyone in this [BLEEP]ing fed... but I will do what it takes for me to win, and if that means being by your side if I lose, then I'll do it. I'M NOT WASHED UP! I WILL WIN! NOW GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF HERE YOU MOTHER[BLEEP]ERS!!!!! [Randy pushes the camera out of his room and slams the door. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Becky and Larry will have more on that situation in Friday's Countdown to Saturday Night, and I'll be back along with Steve Roberts to call all the action in the Coliseum this weekend. That's it from the War Room for this week, fans. Thanks for watching. For the lovely Becky LaRue, and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [The lights in the studio drop as Dross shuffles his papers and Becky gets up and flounces out of shot. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+