[Open with a shot from "IIWF Saturday Night" which shows "The CEO" standing in the ring with the microphone. Beside him stands Creed, who has been fending off attackers from ringside all evening.] CEO: You see! You see! This is what I hate been talking about. This man is the future of professional wrestling and we are ready for the future to begin now! We hereby issue a challenge -- one week from tonight, on January 18th, Creed will meet _ANYONE_ in the IIWF. Anyone. You can pick any type of match -- any stipulations you want. You name the dance and this man will play the tune. If there's anyone in the IIWF who will accept the challenge -- my man is ready to fight! [Cut to a montage of IIWF action accompanied by hard rock music. The final chord lingers as Brody Thunder plants a boot in Majestic Maurice McArthur's face. Suddenly, the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "INSIDE THE IIWF" - January 14, 1997 ================================================= [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scramble to get on camera. A young girl moves her Barbie purse to show off her Marty Warnett t-shirt. A group of older men in the back wave a "Gecko Fan Club" banner. And a man waving a wad of money screams "I bet on the horse named Gunther!" The camera zooms toward Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again everyone and welcome to "Inside the IIWF." You may have been expecting to see Tim Dross in his usual spot at his usual time, but a slight change in programming has me, Larry Morton, and my lovely co-host Becky LaRue, filling in tonight. BL: And I'm not happy about it either. Do you think it's easy coming up with this witty banter every few days? LM: Look at the bright side. At least you'll have Friday night off. BL: Just get on with it. LM: Fair enough. You saw at the top of the show the challenge thrown out by "The CEO" Jack Montgomery. I understand someone has accepted Montgomery's challenge, but the IIWF front office is not releasing the name of the man who will wrestle Creed Saturday night. BL: Maybe it should be a handicap match -- Creed against the rest of the IIWF. That's what it came down to Saturday night. LM: Creed did an admirable job of keeping the matches clean. He even won some fans because of it. BL: Didn't Timmy get some additional comments about that? LM: He certainly did -- on "The CEO's" private jet. Let's go to that footage: [SCENE: The Corporate Jet which is en route to JFK Airport following IIWF Saturday Night. The CEO sits in his private cabin, his immaculate grey suit offset slightly by a moderately askew red tie. He is resolutely toiling at his PowerBook. Beside him sits veteran IIWF announcer Tim Dross. TD: I'm here on the luxurious Corporate Jet along with "The CEO" Jack Montgomery. I've just got to tell you, CEO, I've been involved with a number of cards in my time but I can't recall ever seeing a man both take and dish out as much punishment as did Creed this evening. It was unbelievable. [Cut to quick video shots from Saturday night. Creed is battling in succession: the entire Jobber Justice Squad, Randy Acorn, Venusian Death Cell, Easy Rider, Pale Rider, Deathbringer, the Dark Disciples, Brody Thunder, Tiger Claw and Sandman before being shown exiting the ring to the cheers of the fans.] CEO: Mr. Dross, it's about time. Creed came to the IIWF to do one thing -- to dominate. While it's not yet reflected in our record, Creed has come hard every single night and any man in the IIWF who says different is either thoroughly ignorant or just too damn simple to be rightly let out into civilized society. TD: Creed certainly has established a presence here in the IIWF in 1997, first by physically assaulting you, CEO, and then tonight acting as IIWF "sheriff," attempting to prevent outside interference during the entire card. Is this a role which you might see Creed continuing here in the IIWF? CEO: Creed does what's best for Creed and what's best for the Corporation. You aren't ever going to see him come to ringside in a Southern deputy's outfit carrying a big stick and a ball and chain. However, there are a lot of guys around here who act like the ring belongs to them, regardless of who's in it or how long they've been away. So, from time to time, maybe when you least expect it -- Creed just might take possession of the aisle. TD: In his relatively short time in the IIWF, Creed has had altercations with many of the biggest superstars in the Federation. I wonder if you might give some brief thoughts on a few of them. CEO: Some word association, Mr. Dross? You'll get that 20/20 job yet. TD: [momentarily wistful] Ah, Hugh... anyway, let's get started. How about Otto Verhoeven? CEO: What's the deal with he and Cheshire? Why would you pick a bodyguard you outweigh by 200 pounds? You don't see Mike Tyson letting Emmanuel Lewis watch his back. It's a little tough to understand. TD: The Syndicate? CEO: I have some respect for Brian Lau's organizational skills -- but the bottom line is, he doesn't have the horses. James, Claw, the Disciples; they're mid-card talent in main event clothing. TD: Deathbringer? CEO: At least he admits he's a stiff. In truth, he's been one of the top guys around here for a long time, but I wonder if maybe he's on the down side. There are a couple of guys who have played prominent roles in the IIWF who maybe should look at spending more time with the B league. TD: Venusian Death Cell? CEO: Who? TD: How about Sandman? CEO: This guy I love, really I do. He's spent more time on his back than a two dollar... well, let's just say he's got an aversion to verticality. His time will come, he won't be able to avoid a rematch with Creed much longer. TD: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley? CEO: I have nothing to say about Quigley. TD: Nothing? CEO: [obviously irritated] Look, tonight was as successful as I could have imagined. Sure, I'd rather Creed hadn't been hit with a chair and two championship belts, but we expected those things going in. Creed isn't pleased he was distracted by Brian Lau so James could cheap shot Thunder, but we'll take care of that down the line; the one thing that happened tonight that I will not abide is that Quigley disrupted another match. But I put the responsibility for that on Sandman. It's tough to find any respect for a guy who will only go after Creed when he's already fought 11 other men. As for Quigley... his actions are remembered. TD: All right, CEO, you have a busy week ahead, with Ned Norton on Wednesday and then Creed's special challenge match on Saturday. Any final predictions about Creed's immediate future? CEO: Wins, Mr. Dross. It's winning time. I guarantee it. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: We'll find out Saturday night just who Creed will be wrestling... and if those wins will begin to pile up for Creed. One man who seems intent on standing in Creed's way is The Sandman: [SCENE: The throne room of the Knights castle. Once again, the Sandman is joined by the masked wrestler with a familiar voice.] MW: Woooo! back at cha' with the mighty Sandman. SM: It's been a long time since I've seen these dark walls. [gazing around the room] Thanks for joining me here. I had to return to my roots to issue this special challenge. MW: Special challenge? Woo! Pickin' more fights huh? Who is it to? SM: Creed! I challenge you to a Terrordome Match. Let's finish this all off and settle it once and for all. No interference, nothing, just me and you. No need to ask the CEO. Make YOUR mind up. Are you man enough? [he waves a contract at the camera] January 25th, step into a whole new realm of wrestling! MW: Woooooyeeeahhh! SM: [in a sarcastic voice] Oh yeah, mister Butcher, it's not over between us. At the triangle match, you beat a Harlequin, NOT ME! I was too busy pounding on Creed to VORRY about you. You need not fret. I am not as veak as you think. I vill show you the meaning of the Sleeper. [points to his tattoo] And if I see that phoney ass doctor, I vill dust him off like I did Heidi. Sveetheart, did you like the pretty rose? Ha ha ha ha ha... too bad I didn't get her backstage cause then she would have know the meaning of juggerNUTS. MW: Ha ha ha ha ha! Hey, hey, vonder if she'd like to take a trip to space mountain and style n' profile with me? [The two laugh wildly as the shot fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Let's run down everything that happened Saturday night at the IIWF Coliseum: ************************************************************************** ---------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT RECAP ------------------------ ************************************************************************** LM: What a night of action we had, but our fans deserve nothing less: ******************************* JOE PETROW def. BOBBY B. GOODE ******************************* LM: We learned very quickly why Joe Petrow has a nickname like "Sychosys." BL: Because he flunked second-grade spelling? Everyone knows you spell it S-Y-K-O-S-... LM: No, because of the way he systematically took apart Goode without regard to Goode's -- or his own -- body. Petrow delivered the Bullet Train to Hell and could have pinned Goode, but seemed to actually enjoy punishing the young man. BL: Yeah, and the Knightmare was the piece of resistance. LM: The... what? BL: Don't you speak French? LM: Oui oui. BL: You can't go wee wee now, we're on the air! I _told_ you not to have that last cup of coffee. LM: Sigh. Well Petrow _still_ wasn't finished with Goode. A devastating table shot after the match was something akin to an exclamation point. I think the rest of the IIWF sat up and took notice. BL: And I think that was Petrow's goal: [SCENE: A dark, deserted graveyard. The strange sounds of "chuuk... shuuush" can be heard, but nothing is seen which would explain them. Pan to a shot of "Sychosys" Joe Petrow, working beside a spotlight, putting the finishing touches on filling in a grave. Despite that fact that a light snowfall has begun, Petrow is wearing only a cut-off T-shirt, blue jeans, and brown work boots, and is sweating profusely. The camera cannot quite make out the reading on the tombstone. Petrow begins talking without interrupting his work.] JP: January 11th, 1997. The death of one man, the crucifixion of another, and the birth... of Sychosys. Breaking through that table was like breaking through the membranes of the host that served to nurture my parasitic body until my time had come. Now, to finally talk about the future. [Sychosys slams the back of the shovel down onto the dirt to flatten it, then turns his full attention to the camera.] To the first man to mention me by name. Nightwing, I have no more interest in you than anybody else who threatens to stand in the way of my success. If you immediately stop your pathetic attempts at name dropping to make a name for yourself, you will probably be spared the fury of my wrath. Maybe. But if you feel confident enough in your own abilities to test your mettle against what I have to offer, I'm sure I can fix that problem of yours. To Mr. Dirt Dog Unique Allah. You had the audacity to copy MY STYLE BEFORE IT EVER EXISTED! For that, you must be punished. As the old saying goes, "He who bites the bologna is destined to taste the mustard." I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Brody Thunder, I have not forgotten about you. I have watched you take upon yourself a hopeless one-man battle against the entire Syndicate organization, without any concern for your own well being whatsoever. And I have been inspired! You keep fighting the true fight, and your time will come. Sychosys will make sure of that. And to those of you from my past, who seem determined to relive. Look into my eyes. [camera zooms to a full face shot of Sychosys' scary mug] This is a face that was held six inches away from the flames of hell. You have never met the person behind this face. If you want the guy you're looking for, I'll leave the shovel. You come get him. Otherwise, I would think twice about calling me. It may be a heartbreaking experience for you. [Zoom out to a wide shot] And to the rest of the IIWF, I know that the only way to let this man rest in peace, is to make THIS MAN [points to himself] a household name! And I will do just that. I am going to get some gold here real soon. Sooner than any of you could possibly imagine! Why? Because I *AM* Sychosys! And to anybody who wishes to dispute this, I offer you the opportunity [he slams the shovel edge into the dirt] to talk to my former self. [Sychosys walks away, living the shovel sticking up out of the dirt.] LM: What a twisted individual he is! BL: The Players' Club certainly seemed to like what they saw during Petrow's match. ************************** CHESHIRE def. RANDY ACORN ************************** LM: Randy Acorn said he would stop at nothing to earn a shot at IIWF Champion Takezo Musashi and he again proved why we call him the man of a thousand faces, disguising himself as none other than Sparkplug Lee prior to the match and catching Cheshire off guard. BL: Perhaps, but you should never try to make a clown look like a fool. Cheshire, as always, got the last laugh when he blocked Acorn's springboard dropkick and power bombed the "Badboy" for the win. LM: Needless to say Acorn did not take the loss well, attacking Musashi in the aisle, and then taking on Creed. BL: Perhaps Acorn will get a title shot after Cheshire takes the belt from the "Enigma" in a couple of weeks: [SCENE: Fade in on Cheshire's face, his icy blue eyes staring into the camera, as if he isn't sure whether it is recording or not. Then he smiles and and takes a few steps backwards to sit down in a gaudily coloured armchair, which stands in the middle of his half apartment / half gym home.] C: Hmm, I suppose that this thing is recording now. Hehe. Well, you have to excuse me, but as Stevie Summer strictly refused any further interviews with me [sniffs], I have to do this one on my own. But with the manual that nice cameraman gave me, that should be no problem. Hahaha. But let's come right to the things at hand. [his face and voice become surprisingly calm and serious] I have... to admit... I am really sorry. Yep. Randy..., I am sorry, sorry for crushing your hopes and dreams. Becoming the first two-time Cruiserweight Champion in the history of the IIWF would've surely been a fantastic thing, wouldn't it? Heheheheheee. Baaaad luck. What a pity. Seems that, in the end, you are a worm, hehehe, and not a god. Now everyone knows that you _are not_ the best, _and_ they don't like you. Hmm, I just cannot imagine how you have to feel right now, Randy. What did you do after the match and after you'd beaten up Mushimashi and the "sheriff"? Did you run amok in the locker room? Or did you run home crying? Or maybe the next thing you did was going into a bar and get drunk, just to let off your anger and vulgarity on some pitiable bar guests. Well, whatever you did, that moment... when the bell rang -- ding, ding, ding -- and the realization of your loss slowly sank into your befuddled mind... while all the people around you laughed at you... that moment had to be one of the most humiliating in your life. Yes, Randy, the people laughed at you. From now on, for every amount that you hate a fan, that fan will laugh at you twice as much. [sighs and slowly shakes his head] And all I can do is to say that I am sorry... Buahahaahaahahaahaahaaaa! Eeheheheheheheeeheeee! [He calms down again and clears his throat.] Excuse me, I got carried away. Now for Mr. Musi... Muso... Misho... Takkie! Let's talk about Takkie. Now, my Japanese friend, I'm sorry for you, too. I know Randy would've been no match for such a fine athlete as you are. You would have finished him off as easily as I did... well, probably not that easily. But now you'll have to face me, Cheshire. Then we'll see how you can handle a clown with your "patience'n'coolness" stuff, Takkie. I'll crush your bones and mind and beat you until you laugh together with me. After I'm through with you, Randy will surely welcome you in the club of EX-Cruiserweight Champions. Heheheheheee... [Still laughing, he takes out a remote control and aims it at the camera. The screen slowly fades to black. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: I mentioned that Randy Acorn didn't take the loss well. In fact, he's so unhappy with the way his current tenure in the IIWF is going that he's prepared to put it all on the line tomorrow night when he faces the American Patriot: [Cut to the locker room after Randy Acorn's match with Cheshire. Randy is seen covered in sweat, and he seems not to be quite himself as he is just sitting in a chair, looking at the IIWF schedule for the next week. Randy looks up and sees the camera but instead of getting up and giving his cocky smile, he just sits there, pondering who knows what.] RA: What tangled webs we weave for ourselves. I mean, going into the match, I could've sworn that victory would've been mine.... but no, it slipped from my grasp. In fact, I don't know if I have what it takes to win anymore... maybe the spirit of the Badboy is out... and maybe it's still around but hidden somewhere. As I look at the schedule for the coming week, I see that I am to step into the ring with the American Patriot, a man that has the fans on his side but yet is another man like myself that success has dodged. True, I've had my share of titles but it seems that I have been led down a path that has hit a dead-end. Now normally, I'm known for making comments and long speeches shooting my mouth off. Now I will put myself to the ultimate and possibly... final test. [Randy holds his head in his hands and then looks back up at the camera as a tear rolls down his cheek.] If I do not defeat the man the call the American Patriot on Wednesday, then... I will... le..lea.... le-leave the IIWF. If I can beat him though, then I will prove myself to be a winner again and I will continue on with the Badboy spirit but as for now, I have spoken. [Screen fades to black as Randy goes back to reading the schedule and to cope with the possibility of his IIWF career coming to a close. Cut back to Becky and Larry in the studio.] *********************************** ONSLAUGHT def. VENUSIAN DEATH CELL *********************************** LM: The VDC and Onslaught have waged a war of words since their fateful Lethal Lottery pairing at Snow Brawl. BL: Well they finally got around to waging a real war in the ring -- and the little Mexican guy learned that you don't mess around with The Posse. LM: It was indeed an ugly scene as Onslaught got the win after the Cell was disqualified for using yet another illegal choke hold, but The Posse went ballistic at that result. BL: It was great! They pummeled the ref, they pummeled Creed, and best of all they pummeled Onslaught. LM: Indeed. As many of you probably heard yesterday on the all-new IIWF Hotline, which you fans may reach by calling 1-900-325-IIWF -- and I must say it's a bargain at just $12.95 per minute -- Tim Dross reported that Onslaught has left the IIWF after completing his contractual obligations. BL: But the Cell is just getting warmed up: [SCENE: The Venusian Death Cell sits in the IIWF interview room with Becky LaRue.] BL: Whoa, Cell, great performance against Onslaught on Saturday Night. I was laughing so hard. It was a real scream. VDC: Thanks, Becky. Glad you liked what you saw. BL: I sure did. Shame it went down as a loss though. Your average is gradually getting worse and worse. VDC: Becky, let me tell you something that I've been telling people for months. Averages mean nothing to me. What I care about is teaching people not to mess with me. Onslaught loses me a tag match, then shoots his mouth saying it's my fault. I think anyone with a brain, which I realize discounts most of the IIWF wrestlers and a pretty large percentage of the fans, now knows that he made two grave mistakes. BL: He sure did pay for them too. VDC: He paid, Tim Dross'll pay, and so will The Highwayman on Wednesday Night. BL: You mean you haven't forgiven Dross yet? He swears blind he didn't do anything. VDC: I think we both know what Mr Dross did. Once I get the results back from my tests, I'm sure Mr Dross'll realise what he did. Put it this way, once I've finished with Dross, he won't be able to walk, OR pay for any more toupees. I'll ruin him, Becky. BL: Hehehehe... snort. VDC: It's not funny. BL: But it is. [The Cell smiles, grimly, then starts talking again.] VDC: Well, I guess it is, actually. I've been kept away from Dross for God knows how long now. I've tried setting up meetings for us to settle this out of court, but he just keeps ignoring me. Sooner or later, Dross, I'll catch up with you, just like I'll catch up with the Hangman. BL: So you saw my interview with him on Saturday Night? VDC: Sure did. BL: What did you think? VDC: As ever, I thought you proved you are by far the best the IIWF has to offer. [Becky blushes. The Cell then becomes more serious.] However, every time you asked him a question, he stopped you before you could finish. BL: I know. He's just so rude. VDC: Well, Becky, I don't take kindly to rude individuals. Especially not when a woman's involved. I'll make him pay in the ring. Next week, on Saturday Night, I'll meet him one-on-one. I think we've both waited long enough for this, so let's get it finished. Hangman, you continue to bore me with both your wrestling and your interview technique [he looks over at Becky] and next Saturday I'll make sure he never... never, interrupts you again. BL: Why thanks, Cell. But I'm more worried about your match with The Highwayman on Wednesday. VDC: Don't be, Becky. I don't think I've heard of this guy before, unless he's the same one as the jobber in TOWL. But you know me, I don't really care who they are unless they really annoy me. Highwayman, you're new on the IIWF circuit, but don't think I'll start your career off with a win. BL: Hehehehe. Snort. Thanks a lot, Cell. It was a pleasure, as always. By the way, where's Josey Wales today? VDC: He's with the Drifters, as far as I know. I told him I wanted to do this interview alone. BL: Oh... I see. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ***************************** SERGE ANNIS def. THE HANGMAN ***************************** LM: Mysterious happenings abounded in this matchup, as the strange apparition of The Senator _again_ appeared in the IIWF Coliseum. That certainly got The Hangman's attention. BL: Yeah, but Deathbringer's sudden appearance got Sergio Anal-mosity's attention. It's just too bad Creed interfered and kept Deathbringer from finishing off Zippo-Boy. LM: You're really not happy with the way Annis treated you Saturday night, are you? BL: It's pronounced A-nnis... and no, I'm not. LM: He wasn't too pleased with you either, so he asked Bulldog Brown to meet him for an interview. Take a look: [SCENE: Bulldog Brown is at a remote location. It is night, and the air is cold and crisp. There is snow on the ground. The location seems to be in a small clearing in the woods. Approximately 25 large tablets of stone poke out of the ground.] BB: Hi fans. This is Bulldog Brown on location near Ontario, Canada. I was sent here to get a few words from "The Epitome Of Evil" himself, Serge Annis. I have yet to find him however. I'm sure he'll pop up soon, so we might as well keep the cameras rolling... anybody got a cigarette? [As Bulldog reaches out for a cigarette, a shape appears behind him. It appears to be a person. Bulldog notices the movement.] BB: Ahh, it would appear Mr. Annis has decided to join us. [The shape moves away from the camera. Bulldog calls out Serge Annis's name, but is shocked as Serge Annis walks up next to him.] BB: But... but I thought... weren't you just back...? SA: Things are not always as they seem Bulldog Brown. BB: Yeah, that's quite apparent. First of all Serge, why are you out here in the middle of nowhere all by yourself? SA: Oh, but Bulldog... I am not by myself. I have all of my friends here... all of my enemies. BB: Friends? Enemies? The only people here are you, me and the cameraman! SA: Not so. [Annis takes out his lighter. As a flame appears, he holds it next to one of the slabs of stone. It reads: "R.I.P -- Youth Gone Wild... 1996"] BB: Youth Gone Wild? He's a popular superstar in another federation. He's not dead! SA: I NEVER SAID HE WAS YOU MORON! WHAT IS BURIED UNDER HERE IS MUCH MORE THAN A DECAYING BODY AND A ROTTING CARCASS! It is his essence. Ever since he tangled with me, YGW has never been the same. He is a victim... as are all who are here. BB: I see several open graves around. Why? SA: These are for the new victims of the Wrath of Annis... the victims in the IIWF, and trust me, everybody is a victim. Dan Kauffman... The Hangman... and The Deathbringer. BB: Now Serge, why did you request this interview after being on Becky's Lair on Saturday night? SA: WHY?! BECAUSE THAT LITTLE SILICONE SLUT IS INCOMPETENT AND INCAPABLE OF DOING A GOOD JOB! I had many things to get off my chest, and all I got off my chest was anger towards that ditz, Becky. I demanded to have someone with enough skill to enough conduct a decent interview! But on... hehe, my terms. BB: Before we discuss Deathbringer, I would just like to get a comment from you about your match on Saturday night against The Hangman. SA: I had the Hangman beat. I had him. All I needed was to pick him up and drive him into Hell with a chokeslam. But who has to show up? The coward himself, Deathbringer. BB: You are calling Deathbringer a coward? SA: That is what I said! He has to attack me... DURING MY OWN MATCH! THAT SEEMS TO BE VERY COMMON AROUND HERE! YOU LOOK BACK AT ALL THE TAPES, and you will see, I have not interjected myself into a match _YET_ and you can take that to the bank you little runt, CEO Jack Montgomery! But yet, attacking is so common around here in IIWF... and the smell of fear is strong. Deathbringer, either you fear me or are just one incompetent fool. Your mind games will _NOT_ work. If you are such a coward that you have to attack someone after a match, HELL DURING MY [BLEEP]ing MATCH! It says that you are scared Deathbringer. Or immature enough that you cannot settle it in the ring unlike I. But it isn't just you dead man, it seems almost everyone in IIWF is scared of someone. Always running down, trying to play a cheap trick over a fool. DEATHBRINGER, YOU CAN CUT IT OUT, AS IT ONLY SEALS YOUR FATE! YOUR DOOMSDAY WILL COME IN THE FORM OF THE EPITOME OF EVIL! BB: All righty. Serge, I trust you saw what Deathbringer had to say last week? SA: Oh I saw it all right... and I was not impressed. I am not pleased... and I am in fact downright angry... BB: Why is that? SA: Because there is one thing I seem not to get... AND IT IS CALLED RESPECT! DEATHBRINGER, IF YOU THINK I AM JUST SOME SIDELINE ON YOUR QUEST TO CHRIS QUIGLEY, YOU BETTER HAVE YOUR HEAD CHECKED BECAUSE YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM A SEVERE REALITY DELUSIONAL PROBLEM! Deathbringer, you are underrating me. I am more dangerous than you think... much more dangerous. But you act as if I am just a person in the way of your quest for glory, or whatever you want. That did not please me at all Deathbringer. Not at all. BB: Well, how do you respond to Deathbringer claiming you are secretly afraid of him? SA: I AM MANY THINGS IN LIFE... BUT ONE OF THE THINGS I AM NOT IS A LIAR. Deathbringer, you ignorant twit, look in my eyes dammit! Look into the deep baby blue eyes of a madman. You see, I have no fear of you. If you think I'm covering up something, it may be your battered body after I am finished twisting it... mutilating it... hehehe. Deathbringer, I will stand toe to toe with you, eye to eye. I will prove that I have no fear of you. I will get respect dammit. You may be able to pin my shoulders to the mat 1-2-3, Deathbringer. You are as capable of it as any man. And even if that travesty of justice occurs, you will not win the war. I stood up to you... I showed I have no fear, and I continue to show I have no fear. I will stand up to the entire IIWF if I have to, JUST AS LONG PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT I AM A CREDITABLE MAN! I WILL STAND UP FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN AND WHATEVER THE HELL ELSE I WANT! And Deathbringer, I'm not so sure it is you who should be making these claims. You seem to be quite fearful yourself... so you tried to put me out, but you can't Deathbringer... hehehe BB: Well Serge, I'm sure you heard the comments about his "possible" childhood. This just after you claim he is just another mortal man in a mask. [Annis hops up onto one of the tombstones marked BISHOP.] SA: Oh no, you see... I was wrong. The guy has been walking undead for close to 1,000 years now. AM I THE ONLY PERSON HERE THAT DOES NOT BUY THIS BUNCH OF BS?! DEATHBRINGER, YOU HAVE _NOT_ BEEN ALIVE... OR DEAD...OR WHATEVER YOU CLAIM TO BE. It is impossible. There is no such thing as death himself. Otherwise he would have taken me away... taken me away when I laid battered... bruised... and broken in the cellar. When I was smashed through a window... hehehehe. When I was thrown down the stairs... hehehe. Death didn't come by to save me... I had to survive the pain... the tortures... THE PERSONAL HELL I LIVED THROUGH MY ENTIRE LIFE! GOD DIDN'T COME TO SAVE ME! You know why? Because God turned his back on me a long time ago... TURNED HIS BACK! I HAD NO ONE... BUT... myself... and the fire that was the only thing that kept me warm. [Annis spits at a tombstone. The camera follows the spit and the tombstone is marked: "PHILL ANNIS: R.I.H"] BB: Maybe Deathbringer isn't the only one with a haunted childhood. SA: What did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY? DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD! DO YOU HEAR ME? [Serge jumps off the tombstone and places his hand on Bulldog's shoulder] BB: Hey, kinda touchy about that huh? Sorry. SA: He who is sorry will be even sorrier after he messes with Serge Annis. BB: Yeah, I'll take that into advisement. So you honestly think Deathbringer is a fraud? SA: No. I honestly think that there is more to him that meets the eye. But what is behind those eyes... the man's face may very well be destroyed, but there is nothing else behind that mask which he cowers behind. There is no essence of Death inside of him. He has no idea what it is like to be possessed by another force. BB: Are you saying _you're_ possessed by "Death" himself? SA: NO YOU TWIT! I am talking about the inner demons that are in EVERYONE'S minds... the skeletons in the closet. When the demons inside take over Deathbringer, it creates a Hellish type place, but not Hell itself. Hell is something I am bound to take over in time. I am talking about _my_ hell -- Serge Annis's Hell -- a much darker one... a much... "scarier" one. One where the only thing that can bring you pleasure... is pain. One where the only happiness... is to escape for just a mere moment. But I have not had the luxury. Most men would fall and crumble if they received what I have for years. They would fall after one single day. Deathbringer, you are mortal. Again, your reality problem must block that out. You are no kindred spirit. You are no apparition of the night. You are just a man... like you, Bulldog. Just a man like Quigley... like I. [Annis walks over to a very large tombstone, one with an open grave. A chisel is next to it and the stone is blank.] BB: What about Dan Kauffman? SA: What of him? BB: What about his change of attitude? SA: I think he is pathetic. I think he is a moron. You do not need to know what I think of him... only that one day _SOON_ I will get my hands on him and fill a grave over there... hehehe. [Annis bends down and picks up the chisel. He begins chipping away at the tombstone.] BB: Serge, do you have any more comments for Deathbringer? SA: [while chiseling] Deathbringer, I bring much more to the ring than you think. I am a much bigger threat than you think. Again, your reality problem. Do not underestimate me Deathbringer... or anyone and everyone for that matter! I have no respect in the IIWF... a respect I deserve... and I will do what it takes to at least earn it! Deathbringer, I am not afraid of you. I enjoy your darkness... I enjoy it. So let us just see how easy a time you will have defeating me. I burned you once Dead Man, and quite by accident. But now I cannot wait to burn your soul... burn your body... and smell your flesh... hehehe. You want my soul Deathbringer, I have no problem with that. But I think the demons in my mind will have something to say about it... hehehehe. [Annis finishes his chiseling, and puts it down and whips his hands. he stands up.] BB: What does the tombstone say? Is it for Deathbringer? [Annis stands aside and holds his lighter to illuminate to the tombstone. It reads: "BULLDOG BROWN: MAY HE ROT IN HELL FOREVER." Bulldog gasps and his mouth drops open in shock.] SA: Of course not, you silly little man. I've had Deathbringer's grave ready for over a week now... hehehe. [Bulldog is still in shock as Annis pushes him back. Bulldog falls into the open grave. Bulldog shouts for help from the cameraman as Annis begins kicking dirt into the grave. At this point, a light is seen just beyond the trees. A natural light -- sunlight. It is now the crack of dawn. The camera pans down to see Bulldog Brown trying to stand up, but he slips on the worms and other bugs sharing the grave with him. He is covered with dirt. He screams for the cameraman to help. But the dirt then stops piling in. The camera pans up to where Serge Annis once stood. Annis is gone, and there are no footprints in the snow. Annis's sick laughter is heard all around as the camera man finally puts the camera down to help Bulldog out of the grave. Annis can be heard in the distance.] SA: Soon Deathbringer... soon. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: That is one scary individual. BL: I understand he once dated a sheep. LM: Becky! Er, moving on... ************************************* DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH def. LORD BYRON ************************************* LM: The Unique one claimed perhaps his biggest win in the IIWF to date, albeit not without the help of Medusa Rage. BL: Oh yeah, like Byron wasn't trying to use that DeWinter slut to throw off Dirt Dog. LM: Allah did seem a bit... how shall I say it...? BL: Hornier than an antelope? LM: That wasn't how I was going to put it. But there is no denying the Dirt Dog's ability to bridge out of the Aristoclutch and get the win. Byron, who looked sharp for most of the match and even seemed to be in control at the end, rebuked Allah's handshake and got a face full of a cheap alcoholic beverage for his effort. BL: I'm no big fan of Byron's, but you don't spit liquor in the face of an Englishman. LM: I should say not! BL: Battery acid is another matter. LM: Would you stop! Lord Byron isn't at all happy with the way things turned out -- and nor, it seems, is the Lady DeWinter: [SCENE: Lord Byron's dressing room right after his match with Unique Allah. Larry Morton walks in, but neither DeWinter or Byron seem to notice him. Byron is gagging and wiping his face with a towel. DeWinter stands behind him, tapping her foot.] LB: [coughing] That was quite perhaps the most... disgusting thing... that has ever... happened to me. DeW: It was your own fault. [mocking] And I thought that the Aristoclutch was inescapable. LB: [sneering] Evidently not, Milady. But that is one escape route my opponents will never use again. You can count on that. DeW: [laughing] I take it that the Dog's pin attempt WAS inescapable, though? LB: What did you say? DeW: [smirking] I'm saying that maybe you just weren't as well prepared as you thought. LB: [snapping] I do not tell you how to do your job, Milady. Do not presume to tell me how to do mine. Get me some water. This stuff is burning. [DeWinter glares into Byron's back as he continues to wipe his face.] LB: [raising his head] Do I have to tell you twice? [DeWinter flashes Byron a hateful look, and turns straight into Larry Morton. She glares at him, then storms past out of the locker room. Byron turns as the door slams, and sees Morton for the first time.] LB: And the vultures gather. May I be of some assistance, Mr. Morton? LM: Well, yes. About your match with Unique... LB: [under his breath] Ye Gods, I can barely see.... [He shakes his head] A minor setback, Mr. Morton. The record stands at one all, although I should have put this matter beyond a shadow of a doubt long ago. Unique, Medusa, don't think this matter is over [Byron falls back against the seat and rubs furiously at his eyes] because we will meet again. One way or another, I will have my revenge for this travesty of justice. LM: You were hoping that a win here would see you challenging for a title. Where do you stand on that now? LB: [grimacing] Where is that damn water? Nothing has changed, Mr. Morton. I may have suffered a small setback tonight, but the hunt is still on. I have my plans. [Byron gasps and clutches at his eyes again] You really must excuse me now, Mr. Morton. [Byron waves him away] See yourself out. [Morton moves for the door, and once again bumps into the Lady DeWinter, who is carrying a bucket of water, and does not look happy about it at all. She slams the door in Morton's face. The scene fades out to the sound of shouting voices. Cut back to the studio.] LM: I am happy to report that the Deadly Venom has not done any permanent damage to Lord Byron's sight... BL: It's just as well he couldn't see the looks DeWinter was giving him. LM: You could be right, Becky. ***************************** TIGER CLAW def. BRODY THUNDER ***************************** LM: Brody Thunder learned once again how difficult it is to be a "Lone Wolf" in the IIWF when you're dealing with people like the Syndicate. BL: Hey, Thunder's been wanting a title shot, so Casey James was just giving him a shot -- WITH the belt. Hehe. LM: Well I visited Arizona yesterday and I learned that Thunder is apparently calling in reinforcements... literally. Take a look: [The video opens with a jumpy shot of Larry's shoes as he walks along a boardwalk. The microphone picks up Larry's comments.] LM: ...yeah well, I'm not exactly sure that this is such a good idea myself. He wasn't in that great a mood when he left the arena. I interviewed him last time. Why doesn't Tim do it? Or Becky? [Larry stops and the camera pans up past Larry's face. He's looking up at a sign that reads: Tarnished Star Saloon. Larry takes a deep breath.] LM: As a great man once said "Since there's no other place around the place I reckon this must be the place, I reckon." Okay let's do it, but if he starts to lose it, we're outta here, got it? [The camera nods in definite approval. They enter the bar. Inside, the place has an old west motif. Larry makes his way to the bar.] LM: Ah... excuse me... I'm looking for a fella... [The big burly bartender turns slowly around and squints one eye shut and the other eye looking at Larry as if he had two heads.] BARTENDER: This ain't THAT type o' bar, pally. You want the Blue Oyster, next state over. LM: NO, no. I mean, I'm not that type of fella [fixing his tie]. I'm looking for someone in particular. His name is Brody Thunder. Is he here? [The man eyes Larry up and down.] BARTENDER: You a reporter? LM: [stiffening his posture] Yes. I'm... BARTENDER: Then no he ain't here. He hates reporters. Now get on outta... LM: OH, you mean a REPORTER. No, no, I'm no reporter. I'm... ah, a fan, yeah, that's it. I'm a really big fan and I... um... run his fan club, yeah. He promised he'd say a few words for the club. So ah... is he here? [The man stares at Larry then points to the far wall. Thunder can be seen on a pay phone. Larry slowly makes his way to the booth. As he gets close the microphone picks up Thunder's conversation.] BT: ...look I don't care how many skirts he's with, ya tell 'im Thunder's on the horn an' I wanna speak with him pronto, got it missy? Yeah, you tell 'im that. [Brody lights a cigar. Just as Larry is about to approach him, Thunder's voice booms again causing Larry to be startled slightly.] BT: ...yeah that's me. Yeah I know who ya are. Hold on a sec because I wanna get a mirror... to see if I look like I give a rat's ass, that's why. Yeah, I know it was on Letterman but I love that line. Did ya get my message yesterday? I've asked around an' folks tell me yer the man I need if I'm gonna deal with these punks who call themselves the Syndicate. [Larry turns to the camera and makes the shush sign. He mouths the words "Are you getting this?" to the cameraman, who nods. He then turns back to listen..] BT: Yeah he pinned me... after that skunk James waffled me with the world strap. I'm still shaking cobwebs out. Yeah, he's paying me damn good money, but he's been tied up dealin' with Stetson an' Sexton an' chasin' the title. Yeah well, the one time I left him alone he got jumped. I just don't know, we'll see. Yeah Billy-boy an' I have a tag match against Claw an' James this Wednesday night. Well after that, I got a rematch with Claw to even up my score with him. So, are you interested or have ya gotten too soft? Yeah, talk is cheap, son. You show up an' we'll see if ya still got it. Wednesday night, right. Saturday is me an' Claw, right. If ya can get here Wednesday fine. If not, then get yer ass here for Saturday if ya can handle it. Yeah, right, just show up. Later. [click] [Thunder hangs up the phone and turns to see Larry standing beside the pay phone booth, obviously eavesdropping.] BT: Morton? What the hell are ya doin' sneakin' up on me? I ain't got a lotta time fer this nonsense so ask yer questions an' let's get this thing over with. [Thunder blows a cloud of smoke in his face. Larry recoils as if smelling dead fish.] LM: [cough] Okay... ah,you're involved in a little disagreement with the Syndicate -- namely Casey James and Tiger Claw. James has been pretty much consumed by his quest for the Dan Kauffman's world title. That leaves Tiger Claw to deal with you. Last Saturday night, Tiger Claw pinned you right in the center of the ring, albeit by controversial means. How do you respond to those who say you're banging your head against a wall when trying to take on the entire Syndicate single-handedly? [Thunder spits at Larry's feet causing Larry to dance a little to avoid the brown venom.] BT: Morton... I got pinned the other night because I wasn't payin' attention to what I shoulda. Ya got that musclehead Creed roamin' around, James is roamin' around, I got Claw in the ring an' the rest o' the Syndicate at Claw's beckon call, just waitin' to get a piece o' me. James hits me with that world strap an' the lights went out. Plain an' simple. Ain't too tough to jump on a man who's in dreamland. Yeah he got the win, but one battle does not a war make. I got his number. Count on it. LM: Wednesday night, you and the man who's paying you a good sum of money to watch his back, Billy Shakespeare, are facing Tiger Claw and Casey James in a tag match. What can we expect? After all, you and Shakespeare have never worked as a team before. Will the continuity be there? BT: Continuity is overrated, Morton. Shakespeare an' I, we know what we gotta do. Claw an' James better pack a lunch 'cuz I'm gonna be on them from bell to bell. If Billy-boy can grab one o' them an' dance, that's alright too. He's a big boy. LM: Okay. After that you've got a return match with Tiger Claw. What do you plan on doing differently in that match as compared to the last one? BT: Simple. I-PLAN-ON-WINNIN'. The only way I'm gonna get beat is if I'm dead in that ring. That's the truth, son. Ain't no other way to approach it. Me an' Claw are gonna go to fist city an' when the dust settles only one o' us is gonna be left standin'. I plan on bein' that man. LM: Alright then, what about... BT: Hold on a minnit, Morton. Be right back. [Thunder walks to the bar and talks with the bartender. The bartender looks over Thunder's shoulder at Larry and nods. Thunder then returns with two glasses of beer.] BT: Okay. Here ya go. Drink up. LM: Ah... thanks but I'll pass. BT: Suit yerself. It's a rare time when I buy. [Thunder downs the beer. Larry waits patiently for him to finish.] LM: Alright now, what about the rest of the Syndicate? Aren't you concerned that they may interfere again? [Thunder pauses, wipes his mouth then flashes a devilish grin] BT: Let's just say I hedged my bets on this one. Look, unless you got anymore powderpuff questions I gotta get outta here. [Thunder downs the beer meant for Larry.] LM: Just one more. Who were you speaking with on the phone when I arrived? Can you tell me that much? [Thunder slams the glass down and becomes impatient.] BT: Morton, you an' the IIWF are on a need-to-know basis. An' right now... you don't need to know. S'been fun, Lar. Give my best to Drossy an' the skirt. [Thunder brushes by Larry, blowing another cloud of smoke in his face just as the bartender arrives and gives Larry the bill.] LM: Hey Thunder... what's this? I thought you said... [Thunder, without turning around, waves and says:] BT: I SAID it's a rare time when I buy. This just ain't one o' them times. [Thunder exits as Larry fumbles through his wallet and pays the bartender.] BT: That's a wrap. Let's get out of here while I still got cab fare. [The cameraman nods his approval. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Perhaps we'll find out who Brody Thunder's mystery guest is tomorrow night when Thunder teams with Billy Shakespeare to take on Tiger Claw and Casey James. And what a tune-up it was for Shakespeare Saturday night: *********************************** BILLY SHAKESPEARE def. STUD STETSON *********************************** LM: A masked Billy Shakespeare pilfered the World Superstar Championship Belt belt last week and he proved that it belongs around his waist Saturday night, hitting The Curtain Call on Stetson for the win. BL: But it was a non-title matchup! LM: Billy didn't seem to care, as he left with the belt -- and left Lace with a little smooch to remember him by. BL: You can bet he won't be kissing Brian Lau tomorrow night. LM: I think that's a safe bet: [SCENE: Open with footage labeled "Saturday Night." Tim Dross is talking to Steve Roberts after the Brody Thunder-Tiger Claw match:] TD: Well, if that match proved anything, Steve, it's that one man -- not even Brody Thunder -- can't go up against the Syndicate alone and come out laughing. Thunder's going to need some reinforcement if he's going to get the better of Tiger Claw. [Cut to Billy Shakespeare and Brody Thunder together. The former hooks his thumb to his cigar chewing companion.] BS: Here comes the cavalry, Tim. To quote the big man next to me, Howdy Syndicate. Remember me? We've got a little unfinished business. Last time we met, Hakiro left me for dead in your hands. This time I'm back, and I've got the power of Thunder with me. And trust me, this man wants you in the ring worse than I. Wednesday we're going to do it all again, back where we started, a tag match against Casey and Claw. Take heed these words from "Merchant of Venice:" If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? Maybe one man can not enter against the Syndicate and come away laughing, but I wager that we two will be wearing grins come the eve. BT: Syndicate... this ain't no game. It's a mission. We don't wanna just beat ya, we wanna put you outta this game fer good. You've tried to end our careers an' in my case came damn close to it. Then ya got Billy here when I was taken care o' some business. Well it all ends Wednesday night. I promise ya a surprise... maybe Wednesday night, maybe Saturday night, but it's comin'. [Billy looks at Thunder with a look of confusion but shakes it off.] BT: Just remember, Syndicate... things ain't always what them seem to be... [Thunder takes the cigar out of his mouth and spits. Then he puts the cigar back in his mouth.] BT: ...sometimes they're worse. Much worse. Here comes the war, boys. Feel free to bleed. See ya Wednesday, fellas. [Thunder leans back and folds his arms as cigar smoke swirls around his head. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ********************************* NO CONTEST: ALPHABET BOYS vs. ARABIAN KNIGHTS ********************************* LM: None of us expected a scientific wrestling match between these teams, but the Knights bringing out two jobbers disguised as Rising Sun Revolution to fool the Alphabet Boys... BL: And it almost worked, too. Ha! Abie and Zed are such fools. LM: I also don't think any of us were prepared for the little surprise The Dark Disciples brought to the ring. The tag team belts are now charred and defaced with demonic symbols. BL: I like them better than that rhinestone-studded thing Billy Shakespeare stole from Stud Stetson. LM: The Players' Club and Domination didn't care for the makeover -- or the Dark Disciples. We had an unsanctioned and unexpected brawl between those teams. The battle spilled backstage, where the former champs, the High Plains Drifters, got involved. Before it was over, G.W.R. and the Hangmen were involved, too. BL: It was great! The tag ranks have been in chaos before, but never like this. It's like everyone wants to tear everyone else to shreds. It's restored my faith in humanity! LM: I'm not sure it's done the same for the Alphabet Boys. I can hardly believe this, folks, but we sent "Soundbite" Steve Roberts to speak with former two-time tag champions, Rising Sun Revolution, and he found them in most unlikely company: [SCENE: the side of Niagra falls. Ryudo Kenjinata is stood by the guard railings, watching the cascading waters.] Voice: My, my, how the mighty have fallen from grace! Planning to jump? [Ryudo turns, and sees "Soundbite" Steve Roberts walking up, a grin on his face.] Ryudo: Actually, I was just contemplating our return match. SR: I'll bet. Where's the oaf? Ryudo: Standing right in front of me, I think... SR: [smirking] Tou-chy. I dread to ask, but where have you been these last few weeks? Ryudo: Taking a break back home in Japan. Hiroshi and I both believed that we'd been trying to do too much, too soon after we lost the titles. We rushed our return, made too many mistakes, and paid the price for it. But we've took the time to clear our heads, and our training's been as rigorous as ever. We're back, Steve, live with it. SR: Not if the Hangmen get their way. Or the A-Boys, for that matter! [Steve bursts out laughing, while Ryudo looks on, bemused.] Ryudo: The Hangmen are a tough team to come back against, but we've learnt a few more tricks, we're a little bit cagier, and if they think they're going to have an easy time against a team on a slump, they're only fooling themselves. [Ryudo grins] And as for the Alphabet Boys... [Ryudo points over Steve's shoulder, who frowns and turns.... to see Hiroshi climbing out of a car, while in the back seat, Abie and Zed are having a popcorn fight...] SR: What the...?! [Hiroshi grins at Steve, and shouts something across to Ryudo, a huge smile on his face] Ryudo: They want to do what? In a barrel? [Hiroshi shakes his head, and shouts again] Ryudo: [face turning white] All of you? In a BATHTUB?! Steve: That's it, I'm getting out of here. This is too weird. Ryudo: [looking worried] Okay, no problem.... Hiroshi! [The scene fades out, as Ryudo runs across to Hiroshi, who is helping Abie and Zed drag a bathtub out of the car... Cut back to the studio.] LM: Thankfully, Ryudu was able to stop that little plan from reaching fruition... BL: More's the pity. LM: ...and RSR will return to action tomorrow night! ************************************** OTTO VERHOEVEN def. HARLEQUIN TRAGEDY ************************************** LM: Perhaps this was Chris Quigley's show of good faith toward Otto Verhoeven... I don't know. But Quigley certainly may have been the deciding factor in this match, helping Verhoeven to the victory over Harlequin Tragedy. BL: Don't try telling Verhoeven that Quigley was the difference in the match, but that little stunt was apparently enough to earn Quigley brownie points in Verhoeven's eyes. LM: Indeed it was. Take a look: [SCENE: A locker room in the IIWF Coliseum. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven is sitting on a bench. He is breathing hard, but grinning like a madman. His right arm is lightly bandaged. Nurse Heidi and Larry Morton are there, too.] LM: Herr Verhoeven, congratulations on your victory tonight, although you had some help... OV: Help? What are you talking about? I once again proved that no one can stop Germany's finest wrestler. Tragedy and Sandman, I am finished with you. Despite your miserable trickery and cheating I pounded you into submission. NH: Did you see that hammer, darling? Verdammt, these cowards deserved every bit of the beating you gave them. LM: What about Cheshire? Why did you bring him along? OV: This is really obvious, wimp. Sandman has repeatedly attacked my beloved fiancee, and the Harlequins are an unpredictable force, too. So it was reasonable to use my new... _ally_ Cheshire, as an able reinforcement. NH: Of course he von't accompany us always, this was just an exception. LM: He seems to be a valuable ally indeed, judging from his impressive win over Randy Acorn. Why isn't he here now? OV: He said something about looking for a new playmate or something like that. Whatever, he will be a worthy German cruiserweight champion. LM: What do you think about Chris Quigley's request for assistance against the Players' Club and his interference a few moments ago? OV: I have to admit, I was surprised that he asked me for help, but think about it. He knows that I am the most dangerous man in this federation and very well capable of protecting him from Kauffman, his snot-nosed friends, or even that big, brain-dead imbecile Deathbringer. But I do not owe him something because of tonight, he only brought the inevitable end a few moments earlier. LM: So you won't assis... OV: Shut up, you spineless jerk, I am not finished yet! Kauffman and the rest of the PC think that they rule the IIWF and I am ready to accompany Quigley to prove them otherwise. Quigley, I will stand in your corner, and nobody, except your opponent, will touch you during that match. I only hope that you are able to deal with Dynamite or Reyna... LM: Any comments towards the Subway Psycho or the mysterious Nightwing? OV: [looks at his bandaged arm] Nightwing, what's wrong with you, kid? European invader? Perhaps you should have a talk with the American Patriot than with me. Stay away, and keep that bird in check. I have no desire to squash you like a bug... yet. And about the Psycho, you want revenge? Have your wounds finally healed? I hope you did not forget Berlin, not that little incident after the match, that was just a little bonus for my German fans. No, you have to remember how I pinned you in the middle of the ring for the one-two-three! How Heidi locked Sasha's father in the Sedative. Do you remember the humiliation, the pain? Oh, I did not forget that you were responsible for my elimination at Snow Brawl. This provides me with further motivation to destroy the American "People's Champion", one more time! NH: We have also changed our training schedule to prepare the Butcher for the Third Rail match. I do not know why you proposed this kind of match, if you truly believe that you have some kind of advantage, but this is not the case. My man Otto vill defeat you again and show one more time that you are only a pathetic excuse for a vrestler. OV: Psycho, you are nothing more than just another victim. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow, Otto Verhoeven will accompany Chris Quigley to the ring on Saturday. And those were some strong words from Verhoeven directed toward the Subway Psycho and mysterious newcomer Nightwing. BL: Verhoeven follows through on his threats. A lot of people should be worried right now. ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: They have the Players' Club flanking them on one side and Brody Thunder on the other, but the members of the Syndicate has more than held their own against their attackers. BL: And history tells us that you don't mess with Brian Lau and his troops without paying a price. And that's the way they want to keep it: [SCENE: a courtyard at the Dojo. Tiger Claw and Casey James flank Brian Lau. Casey holds the IIWF World Title belt, Tiger Claw looks as somber as ever.] BL: Alright, people, listen up. I've got some problems right now that I need to address. It would seem that there are a lot of critics out there who have certain ideas of how the Syndicate is or how we should be run. First, the first Syndicate tag team, the Dark Disciples, who, incidentally are off doing certain, umm, training rituals with Mr. McQueen, wins the IIWF tag team belts after a short while in the IIWF. This is a feat that very few other teams in the IIWF can do, and I would think that people would be impressed. Instead, I hear people talking about how they're yet to be tested, and that they are beatable. I've heard this one before. It would seem that the people of the IIWF _want_ us to lose... Now there's the matter of the World Title belt. We figured that the confiscation of the World Title belt would have Dan Kauffman breaking down our door to get at Casey again, but no... Instead, he figures that he should spend more time on Quigley. Kauffman, you're not the champ unless you have this belt. Bottom line. CJ: Kauffman... Quigley... The two of you make me want to puke. First off, Kauffman comes around now, talking about how he's going to take me out, and his little club trying to talk trash about the Syndicate. Kids, the Syndicate wrote the rules of the little game you're playing now. Don't think for a minute you can beat us at it. And then there's Quigley. I've never seen someone get his ass kissed as much as Quigley. I mean, this guy comes in, gets to talking about how he's number one, then gets his ass kicked. Does that stop him? No. He gets beaten here, he gets beaten there... Hell, I've beaten him twice now. But he's still the best, right? Yeah, sure. He gets taken to the cleaners by Otto Verhoeven, and then runs away. The IIWF waits for him, and waits... Quigley just runs off like a little spoiled brat, and everyone just accepts it. Now the punk is threatening me. He says that if I badmouth him again, I'm in trouble. Well, Quigley, here it comes. I don't like you. I never have, I never will. I think you stink like last week's garbage. You're looking at three guys who have been here since day one. We never ran away. We've been ready for everyone who came along. Look at our history. Nobody has fought as many matches as we have. In fact, we've won more matches than anyone else has even wrestled. And you're talking about being the big star here? We are the blood of the IIWF. We are the guys that make this place tick. Remember that when I kick your ass for a third time. BL: And it's going to stay that way. Finally, we've got Brody Thunder on our case, and Tiger Claw is doing a great job of taking care of him. On Wednesday, Casey and Tiger Claw will take on Billy Shakespeare and Thunder. Shakespeare, I really liked the comments you had for everyone recently. The answer to your question is that Tiger Claw is still keeping an eye on you. He was instrumental in your loss of the IC belt by breaking your ribs. Remember? I own that belt. I've had something to do with every change of that title. [Tiger Claw looks over to Lau.] TC: It was _I_ that beat Hakiro... BL: Well, yes, of course. You won the title from him... TC: I _beat_ him... BL: You won the match, yes. TC: I _conquered_ him. BL: Yes, okay... TC: Say it. BL: You... you beat him. But I had something to do with that. TC: No. _I_ beat him. BL: Come on, Claw. Hakiro didn't miss that moonsault by accident. TC: What!? What are you saying? BL: Tiger Claw, Hakiro was a member of the Syndicate longer than you think. Technically speaking, of course. TC: You fixed the fight? BL: "Fixing" is such a dirty term, Claw. I prefer the term "guaranteeing the outcome." [Claw looks as if he's about to explode.] TC: No. You lie. I beat Matsuoko on my own. _I_ won the belt. Not you. [Tiger Claw walks off the scene. Casey and Brian just kind of stand there, afraid of getting Tiger Claw even angrier.] BL: Claw... Claw, please. Okay, go... take some time to get your head together. In the meantime, Shakespeare and Thunder, you're going down to the Syndicate! [The shot begins to fade as both Brian and Casey hold the World Title belt aloft. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Did you see Tiger Claw's reaction to Brian Lau?! Wow! Outside forces may not be able to defeat the Syndicate, but it seems to be cracking from the inside. BL: Lau and Tiger Claw have had their differences in the past, but they always work it out when Claw remembers that he's nothing without Lau. LM: Nothing?! I'd have to disagree with that! BL: It's a free country. LM: We'll be sure to keep an eye on that situation. And speaking of situations, we saw the Subway Psycho take on Otto Verhoeven and the bizarre Cheshire Saturday night after the triangle match, and the intervention of Nightwing. Let's hear first from the Psycho: [SCENE: An old train yard at dusk. Basically it is a graveyard for old trains. From the shadows of the rusting masses of metal emerges a dark figure. It is the Subway Psycho. The shadows and his long black hair mask his face, but from the darkness comes his voice.] SP: Upon these tracks lay the useless remains of once great, powerful machines. On Saturday Night, another powerful machine will be thrown onto a track and be left to rot. Otto, this is the end of the line. Steel is cold and hard. It is unforgiving... and so am I. This time Otto, YOU'RE ON MY TURF! YOU'RE IN MY MATCH! Your goons from Berlin won't be here to help you. It's just you and me, no thugs, no women, and no turning back. YOU, ME, A STEEL RAIL, AND 5000 VOLTS! [With that Psycho turns to a nearby train car and actually tips it over, right off its track. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: The Psycho is a man on a mission. I promised some comments from the young Nightwing, who seemed intent on helping the Psycho on Saturday, so let's see what he has to say: [SCENE: Dusk in a clearing in a dark forest. The camera can barely pick out details until an eagle cries and a light emerges from the forest. It is Nightwing carrying a torch.] NW: For many in the IIWF, this forest has special meaning. It is like their very own careers right now, surrounded by darkness. But wherever the torch of Iniquoia burns, the darkness cannot touch. I spoke last week of one who shares my quest -- one who was robbed of part of his life. The Subway Psycho has embraced the darkness by choice, but it is not inside him. The light that burns in his soul is as bright as the torch of Iniquoia. He has been crowned "The People's Champion," just as I strive to be a champion to my people. That is why Chiquoit and I could not permit Otto Verhoeven and Cheshire to continue their attack on such a valiant warrior. Verhoeven, your fight is with the Psycho and I respect that. But should Cheshire or any other attempt to intervene, prepare to feel the force of Nightwing. [Nightwing stares into the camera as an eagle cries in the distance. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: What a fantastic battle we will have coming your way tomorrow night on "Wednesday War Room" when rookie sensation Ronnie Paris and veteran Mad Dog Watkins meet in a rematch. You'll recall that it was just two weeks ago when Paris scored a surprising upset over Watkins, who demanded a rematch in an "Iron Man" match. BL: Iron men... mmmmmm... good. LM: [eyeing her oddly] Yes, well... Let's hear from these two men as they prepare for this great matchup: [SCENE: A street corner in downtown El Paso, Texas on a cold, yet sunny, January afternoon. The camera catches the hustle and bustle of the people on the street and the maze of cars which populate the city streets. After a few seconds, the camera pans down to a street lamp and focuses on the figure propped beside it -- the man known as Mad Dog Watkins. Watkins is dressed as usual [black leather jacket and pants] and also sports a black stocking cap pulled close to his eyes which helps create a menacing look across the veteran's face. Watkins moves slightly, but still leans against the lamp post. He begins talking in his low, gravely voice.] MD: El Paso, Texas... what an armpit of civilization. A crossroads of life and people where the American north meets its Mexican brethren to the south and their Spanish influences. And the result? A hellhole. A city so confused as to what it wants to be that in the end it comes off as being nothing. A giant, screwed-up mess that some say is unique and distinct, but I think it's pathetic. [The shot slowly zooms in on Watkins until only his chiseled face in on the screen.] Why am I talking about El Paso? Because it is like you, Ronnie Paris. They say that you are where you come from and that you can tell everything you need to know about a man by examining his roots. Well, I'm here, son, and this place is singing me a pretty sad song. You see, you -- Ronnie Paris -- are just like El Paso. You are torn between your heritage of both amateur and professional wrestlers in your family, and your desire to be something more than everyone before you. You crave the spotlight, but you receive the shadows. And walking that tightrope between a man's past and his future is a deadly challenge. Everything must be perfect... one slip... one wrong move... and you end up not the celebrated conqueror, but the humbled could-have-been brought down by his past, left with nothing but the pieces of a shattered dream. Being a newcomer, no one takes you too seriously. Being a man dedicated to the sport and not the show, you get overlooked. You have no identity save what you bring to the ring. Well, I've seen and felt what you bring to the ring, and you certainly got my attention. I've taken notice of the young upstart, and now it's up to me to take you apart and find out what makes you tick. And I have, son, I have. I found out when you went toe-to-toe with me for thirty minutes. I found out when you left just as much blood, sweat and tears on the mat as I did, and I found out when you dished it out as good as you took it. But that was just the opening chapter of the book. You want no DQ? You want no count out? Whatever suits your fancy. I've done my research on you, Paris, and there will be no more surprises. Next time we meet, everything will be laid out on the table. Iron Man match in Mad Dog style... taking it back to the old school where men didn't talk about how bad they were -- they PROVED it by leaving their soul in the ring. So come prepared Paris and come ready, 'cause it's your big shot. Just be careful not to slip and fall in your effort to climb the ladder. I hear the bottom is a hard, cold place... kinda like this city. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: I've been to El Paso. It's a nice place. BL: Well you didn't get to go this week. We sent "Captain Acne" Steve Summer to get comments from Ronnie Paris: [SCENE: Fade in on the now-familiar wrestling mats in Ronnie Paris' El Paso gym. Several teenagers, a few girls among them, are on the mats sparring, while Paris looks on and shouts instructions. IIWF Intern Steve Summer can be seen at the bottom of the staircase leading out of the gym, waiting for a break in the action.] RP: Hook that leg, Jimmy! Watch out for the cross-face, Danielle. Remember that counter I taught you? [Ronnie looks at his watch] All right, gang, time's up, let's go get changed! Good practice, everyone, same time next week. [While the youngsters file out towards the locker rooms, Summer loudly clears his throat to get Paris' attention. A boy taps Paris on the shoulder.] BOY: Um, coach, that guy wants to talk to you. RP: Huh? Oh, thanks, Jimmy. See you next week. [Paris walks over towards Summer, stopping occasionally to say goodbye to one of the kids. Eventually, he does get to the staircase, much to Summer's relief.] SS: Mr. Paris, if I may. First question: what's going on with these kids? RP: I'm glad you asked me that, because that's why I asked you here at this time, so that you could see my class. I like to teach some of the local kids how to wrestle, share my gift, you know. That's what I am, you know, a wrestler. SS: Yeah, I guessed that. RP: No, what I mean is that what I do is wrestle. It's my style, my "gimmick" if you will, my "schtick". I've always had some trouble getting respect, and the reason might well be because I'm just a wrestler. You see, I don't spit out green fluids, I don't pretend to be immortal, and I'm not a 16-year-old seven-footer. I'm not as exciting to the little kids as someone who pretends to be a cheap Robin Hood ripoff who's back from the grave. You can't merchandise me like you can with a guy that pretends to be a descendant of a long dead playwright. My problem, from a respect standpoint, is that I'm Ronnie Paris and not "Ronnie Lincoln, the great-great grandson of Abe Lincoln who has x-ray vision." Is being Ronnie Paris enough? SS: I thought I was asking the questions here. RP: I think that being Ronnie Paris is enough. Look at the three men who hold singles titles here. Kauffman, Kowalski, Musashi, all relatively normal guys who so happen to be wrestlers. Not 10-foot tall steroid monsters, or clowns on Prozac. Everyone who has real success in the IIWF is a real person, like I'm a real person. Ronnie Paris is my real name, and I really was born here in El Paso. I actually own this gym, and my father, hell his father before him, really were wrestlers just like I said they were. And that's why I search out a guy like Mad Dog Watkins, because he isn't about marketing, he's about wrestling. He tells you who he is and what he is, and I respect that. Watkins, win or lose in that Iron Man match, you will always have my respect as an opponent. SS: If I could take back control of the interview here, why exactly did you trick "Soundbite" Steve Roberts back into the ring to face you? RP: Respect. It's all about respect. I've seen tapes of Roberts, I've seen his matches before, and the man wouldn't know a wristlock from a wristwatch. I know I can wrestle circles around him, and that's not arrogance, that's a fact! Maybe he'll beat me, maybe he'll pin me, but I will win in the pure wrestling department, just like I always win in the pure wrestling department. I'm impressed, though, with his courage. I always knew he had a back problem, but I thought it was a backbone problem. Apparently, though, the man is starting to form a spine, and I admire that. SS: I think it would be wise for me not to comment on that one. Finally, can you tell us anything about these tapes you were watching last week? Who are you scouting, and why? RP: In all honesty, there is only one man in the IIWF from whom I can learn. One style that, when I merge it with my own, will finally earn me some respect. In fact, I'd wager that I can emulate this person better than they do themselves. In short, I can play the act better than they do, simply because I have no false pretenses weighing me down. I am who I say I am, and I do what I say I'll do, and right now I say that you aren't ready to know who I'm studying yet. Maybe later, folks. SS: Well, a confident Ronnie Paris seems ready for all comers, but is he too confident for a rookie? This is Steve Summer in El Paso, Texas, on assignment for the IIWF. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Any idea who Ronnie Paris may be studying? BL: Probably Maurice McArthur... the loser. LM: I don't think so. We may find out tomorrow night. And while we're on the topic of tomorrow night, newcomer Highwayman will have his toughest challenge to date when he takes on the Venusian Death Cell... BL: My man! LM: ...in the IIWF Coliseum. Let's hear from Highwayman now: [SCENE: Night time in England. Dark foreboding storm clouds hang low in the sky, threatening to unleash the fury of nature. Highwayman stands high up on a grassy verge overlooking a motorway. He drapes his arm over the neck of a huge black stallion and stares down toward the road. He watches as a car zooms past, headlights beaming into the dark.] HM: Things hast changed much over the last 300 years, Bess. Canst thou see the mechanical carriage’ down yonder? It canst move faster than thee can gallop! That structure on the hill over yonder [pointing at a TV transmitter], it doth move pictures and words through the air and is powered by _invisible_ energy called electrickery! Some things ne'er change though, Bess, evil men are still abroad, knowing naught of honour, caring little for others. Brody Thunder! Thou art one such man and ye should be warned. Do _not_ interfere in mine affairs again, regardless of the outcome and thine motives. I needed none of thy help to defeat Tiger Claw and if thee or anyone else sees fit to attend mine matches, be sure ye are but a spectator. The road to hell hath many short-cuts Brody and I knoweth them all, take care that thee doth find thyself on one... at mine hands. [His hand reaches out, palm up and he looks into the sky, blinking as the first few drops of rain start falling. A smile breaks across his face as a flash of lightning momentarily illuminates the sky.] Aye Bess, some things ne'er change, especially English weather! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: We haven't seen IIWF Intercontinental Champion Steve "The Fury" Kowalski in action for awhile, but that doesn't mean he isn't causing trouble somewhere. Kowalski is preparing for the big triangle match coming up Saturday night against Billy Shakespeare and Marty Warnett. BL: Nothing like that "shot glass arm curl" to build those biceps. Hehe... snort. [SCENE: The Amber Bug in Newark, New Jersey. Dark, dirty and weathered, the bar is a home for a unsavory cast of characters. Some of those characters are making waves. Oscar Smiles, the ancient barfly of the Amber Bug, sits at a table with the IIWF Intercontinental Champion Steve "The Fury" Kowalski. The Fury has a very unlucky fellow by the hair. The New Jersey Nightmare is pounding the dazed patron over and over three times in succession. [1-2-3, 1-2-3, etc.] Oscar sips his drink as the conversation continues.] SK: Ya see what I mean, buddy? [Kowalski pounds the individual three times quickly] A three count! Get it? [The bruised man slumps to the floor] Jerk. OS: [Gulping his drink] So, let me get this straight. You have to wrestle two guys now? Are they midgets? You know, like they used to have those funny handicap matches? Nothing funnier than good dwarf toss... SK: Shut up, [BLEEP]head. It's not midgets, it's the former champ and the champ-wanna-be. They're stackin' all the odds 'gainst me, 'cause Sexton was stupid enough ta give up his shot. OS: You're the champ and they are making you wrestle two guys? And you're saying it's Sexton's fault? Why doesn't he wrestle you himself? SK: "Stainbringer?" I whooped his ass already! They all got their cans kicked and still get 'nother shot. Only Warnett gets a thumbs up fer bein' a tough son of a bitch, but the others are cowards. As far as I'm concerned, they might as well throw in Sexton so I can kick his ass too. OS: Three guys then? Make the call to the IIWF. SK: [Getting up] I will. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Word obviously has not reached New Jersey that "Painbringer" Billy Sexton is no longer in the IIWF. BL: The question is whether or not anyone in New Jersey was sober enough to understand it. If I lived in New Jersey, I'd drink all day too. LM: Well problems seem to have arisen for one of the stars scheduled to compete in that triangle match. Let's take you back to a press conference held last weekend at the IIWF Towers: [SCENE: A Sunday morning press conference in the IIWF Towers. Marty Warnett sits at a long table, surrounded by reporters. He's dressed in an Alanis Morissette T-Shirt, ripped jeans, bandana and shades.] MW: Yeah, guys, we, that is, myself and the IIWF felt it necessary to hold a press conference about the rumors that have been circulating about me and my tenure here within the IIWF. REP1: Marty, you've suddenly been added to the IC triangle bout in place of Sexton. Why? MW: You may as well ask why I wasn't in it in the first place. As far as I'm aware, Sexton is out of it because, well, you'd have to ask him for his reasons. Next question. REP2: Dave Sadler, New York Times. You haven't wrestled for just over a week. Are the rumors you're suffering from an undisclosed ailment correct? MW: In a way ... yes, I guess you could say things are wrong, and right now it's nobody's business but my own. Things ain't always as they seem. That's all I have to say. REP3: Quincy LaMorgue, QDFS-TV. Are you optimistic about the IC title bout? MW: Yes. REP4: The stars in the IIWF seem to be blatantly double-crossing each other left, right and center. Does this worry you? MW: No. Why should it? All I care about is winning that title. Whether Kauffman wants to turn his back on fans and friends, Quigley wants to be a pain in the butt, not my problem. REP5: Pete Edwards, Pro Wrestling Illustrated. Did Kauffman's turn affect you at all? MW: No. We barely spoke in the past, so he's hardly a great friend. He's merely somebody for the Party Maniac to meet and beat. He and his Player's Club aren't a problem for me. REP6: One name -- Chris Quigley. MW: One name -- Gutless, Whining, Pouting, Wanna-be Wonder. REP7: Is it true you're seeking professional help for a mental problem? MW: What the...? Screw you guys! [he walks out] [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Marts was getting a little defensive there, wasn't he? LM: The media can be so cruel -- even to a popular young star like Marty. BL: Not as cruel as Kowalski. Hehe. LM: Pardon me, Becky, but it seems that your blush is beginning to smear. You should really go check that out. BL: Ha! If you think you are going to get rid of me THAT easily... Hold on... Um, Larry, I think _your_ blush is beginning to smear as well! LM: Oh my, I'd better go check... Wait a minute, I don't even wear blush! I'm going to get you for that! BL: Men. Need I say more? What a worthless species men. Wait a minute, did you hear that? LM: I didn't hear anything, and I certainly am not worthless! How dare you try to... Now I heard that! [There is a loud crash behind the cameras, and a woman is heard saying "HEY! YOU GUYS AREN'T ALLOWED HERE!" The cameras swing around to the back of the set, and the shadowed figures of the Player's Club walk towards the set, Dynamite replying to the woman "We'll go where we want, when we want!" The cameras cut back to the set.] LM: Nope, I'm not sticking around after watching what these guys did to Quigley... I'm outta here... DDD: Sit down, Larry. We ain't gonna harm no announcers here. DK: Geesh, we can actually act civilized when we want to. We're not barbarians, you know. LM: I don't know, judging by your past actions, you guys aren't far off. MR: Actions are actions. Everything we do is planned in advance and guaranteed to succeed. Isn't that right, Danny? DDD: That's right, Mike! What perfume is that you are wearing, Becky? That stuff is turning me inside out! You available tonight? BL: I'll have you sued for that! DK: Relax, Becky. They aren't going to do anything. They just want to enjoy themselves. What's wrong with that? LM: Okay, let's get to the point here. What the hell are you guys here for? Obviously, you want to... DDD: That's enough, Larry. You want us to talk business, fine. Business starts with Chris Quigley on Saturday. Nuff said! DK: So the mighty Chris Quigley has returned to the IIWF two weeks after getting his brain scrambled over easy at the hands of his three worst nightmares. What else should we have expected? Chris, we all knew you wouldn't stay down for long. You have too much pride... MR: [Hack, cough] Ego [Wheeze...] DK: ...to stay away. Well Chris, welcome back to the IIWF. It seems as if you've realized that there are no rules to play by now. Going out and picking up Verhoeven was good strategy, but it's still only two on three now. Lord knows what I may do. DDD: But maybe we'll do nothing. See Chris, we're in control right now, and you have to live with whatever we decide to do. I plan on giving you the match of your life on Saturday, and you'll need more than a clear mind to beat me. Much, much more! DK: You know what Quigley's weakness is? He loves to think of himself as the best wrestler in the world. That's how he keeps himself motivated, by believing that he is the best. Good strategy, but it got torn in pieces. Cause Chris doesn't know anymore if he IS the best! He doesn't know if he can defeat me, if he is truly better than me, and it eats him alive! I don't have that problem. I don't need to be the best, I only need to prove myself. MR: Chris Quigley is walking down an awfully lonely road, and that road is getting tougher to walk down all the time! DDD: Come Saturday Night, Chris Quigley will feel what it's like to have to face a member of the PC. Nothing will be held back, and we will do what we do best, and we'll do it PC style! LM: Well that's all good and well, but you've got the Syndicate... DK: Uh oh, he did NOT just mention the Syndicate, did he? Of all the headaches in the world, I did NOT want to hear them mentioned! Is that too much to ask? DDD: Relax, champ. Casey, have fun with that belt, cause sooner or later, it will be back around the waist of the man who rightfully holds that Championship. We see that you and Claw have a match coming up. In fact, my man Thunder will be there as well. James, any of that cheap crap you pulled on Saturday will result in a lot of pain, guaranteed! MR: And don't think we've forgotten the Dark Disciples, either! You guys are public enemy #1, as far as I'm concerned! You guys are the tag champions, and the future FORMER tag champions once we get our shot! The fact that you are Syndicate makes it that much more tempting to take you two out! DK: Speaking of tag teams, did I hear correctly when I listened to Pain Inc. make derogatory statements at me? Of all people, you just messed with the wrong guy. I'm not invincible, I'm not unstoppable, but I am determined to make you think twice about those comments. Don't worry, Mr. Mic, you haven't heard the last of the PC. DDD: Where does the time go? Come on, boys, we have to scatter! [Before Morton can ask another question, the three get up and leave, walking quickly past stage hands who are picking up the damaged lights and cameras.] LM: If nothing else, we learned that Chris Quigley will be facing none other than Danny Dynamite on Saturday. But you can bet the rest of the Players' Club will be right there with him. BL: [yelling off camera] Send Kauffman the bill for that equipment! LM: While our crew cleans up the studio, this would be a good time to cut to our LIVE interview with the Armed Forces. [Cut to a split-screen, with Morton on the left and the Armed Forces, NavCom and DefCon, sitting in the IIWF Coliseum, on the right. Aaron the Caddy is nowhere to be seen. The ring can be seen behind the duo.] LM: Good evening, gentlemen, and thank you for joining us. First, I must say that Aaron the Caddy is conspicuous by his absence tonight. NC: Aaron is off working on a project for us. He's at his home in Coral Gables taking care of some politics as we speak. He'd be here otherwise. LM: I see. Well, right here in this very ring tomorrow night, you'll be facing G.W.R. in a special bragging rights match. Will this possibly settle the score once and for all? DC: I hope so, Larry. With every time we face Loco and Spoiler, they get better and better. These two are a great tag team, and I'm hoping that we'll be able to stave them off again tomorrow night. NC: We've got a slight history advantage on them. We did beat them once. We'll be without Aaron the Caddy, who has proven to been a distraction to these two in the past, but we'll be focused and ready for what should be an excellent match between us. LM: Things between you two and Kane's camp seem to headed for a change soon. Any thoughts on what is going on? NC: I'll be honest, Larry. I'm ready to bury the hatchet with these guys. [Morton raises an eyebrow.] No, really. I'm ready to forget about this and maybe... they'll even want to work with us in the future, I do not know. LM: Speaking of "working with" people and "futures," is there a future for you and Pain, Inc.? NC: Doubtful. Mr. Mic and Aaron are on bad terms, and I've never gotten along with those giant prima donnas anyway. We're through with them as far as I'm concerned. DC: The only future I'm talkin' about there is in the ring against 'em, Mort. I want these punks, for what they did to us at Snow Brawl, just to name one incident. They gave us the shaft numerous times in the past; it's not going to happen again. LM: Well, Loco and Spoiler will face The Armed Forces right here on War Room. Thanks for the time, gentlemen, and best of luck tomorrow night. NC: No problem, Larry! [Cut back to full screen with Larry and Becky.] BL: Speaking of G.W.R., I understand we have some taped comments from Spoiler about his team's recent performance. Let's go to that now: [SCENE: A garden somewhere. The camera pans around, taking in the surroundings. Finally the shot stops near a set of mossy steps. Sitting on the steps is Spoiler. He looks up as the camera zooms in.] SP: Ah. Hello. [He looks around, then stands up] You know, recent weeks haven't been particularly good for us. I think I've allowed myself to be distracted by things that don't matter. And it's cost us. Badly. [He starts walking. The camera follows him] You don't need to know what it was. All you need to know is that we've cleared that mess up. We've solved the problem, and I... we... can get back to doing what we do best. Wrestling. [He pauses again, stopping to look around.] First, the Armed Forces. This Wednesday, we settle that score. And then we move on. [He pauses again] It's time for a change. Time to get back our focus, to push ourselves in the right direction once more. And that's what we intend on doing. You're not exactly going to see a new G.W.R. or anything quite like that, but... well, we're tired of playing around. We have our goals and it's time we started trying to accomplish them. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: We saw the return of Domination from their Japan tour Saturday night as they dived right into the action. You can bet that Mistress will have Mr. Psycho and Monster in the middle of the title hunt after their successful tour: [SCENE: Domination -- Mr. Psycho, Monster, and Mistress -- back in the IIWF after their tour of Japan, stand in the IIWF interview area.] MP: We're back in IIWF after a brief tour of Japan, and wow, did we have a hectic three weeks. MI: While everyone else was stuffing themselves full of turkey, we were fighting hard and long in Japan against some of the finest tag teams in the world today. And you`re all in for a treat. Here are some stills we took of our matches over there. [An image of Monster SuperFaceSlamming a masked wrestler appears on the screen.] MI: In our first couple of bouts, we were getting re-adjusted to their style. Three pinfall victories, a DQ victory and a time limit draw was a good start. MO: Raaaaaaaarrggghhhh. MP: That's right, it got even better. By the end of the second week, we had earned a title shot against the Mega-Japan Wrestling Federation Tag team champions, Akira Woo and Wild Dragon. MI: It was perhaps the toughest fight we ever had. MP: But thanks to a great game plan designed by Mistress, we came away with the victory. MO: Raaaarrrggghhh. MI: Yes, and the belts. We spent the next five days defending the belts each and every night, and at the end, we vacated the titles because we had done what we had gone to do. MP: Which was learn from the best, and beat them. Now we're back in IIWF with one thing in mind - winning the tag belts. IIWF is the biggest fed there is, and we want to be the best in the best. Heck we are the best. MI: When we left, it was HPD with the titles. Now it is the Dark Disciples. Well, we've missed a lot of what has happened in IIWF, but I assure you we'll catch up. MO: Roooaarrr. MP: And then we'll overtake all the other teams in IIWF and prove to everyone that we are what we say we are -- the best team that there is. MI: You see, we beat every team we faced in Japan, and every one of those teams was better than any team in the IIWF. MP: Except one. MI: Us. MP: Dark Disciples, we're back, and we going to take our gold from you. Prepare to be Dominated. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Some former champs also want another shot at the titles... BL: We know all about Rising Sun Revolution and... LM: I was talking about the High Plains Drifters! [SCENE: A western style saloon. The furniture is all smashed and broken to splinters. A few patrons lay battered on the floor. In the corner, Pale and Easy Rider try unsuccessfully to spit into a spittoon. The Death Cell shakes his head and then spits a dead-on accurate glob of green spit right into the spittoon. [DING!] Josey Wales has the bartender on his knees and is twisting his ear nearly off his head.] JW: Now what was that again? BARTENDER: Nothing! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! All the drinks are on the house. My mistake Mr. Wales. On the house. I'm sorry! JW: That's what I thought. [He motions to Easy who comes over, picks up the bartender, and powerbombs him over the bar and into the bottle rack. Broken glass flies everywhere.] JW: Just a little dispute over the tab that's all. Anyway, it seems the Player's Club just bit off more than they can chew. Dynamite and Reyna... I don't know what the hell you boys were thinking, but y'all just stepped into big ole' pile of [BLEEP]. Whether it's in the ring or outside in the parking lot, we're gonna find y'all and beat you so bad your children will be bruised. We have a little unfinished business with the Disciples as well. Don't worry boys, the wheels are already in motion and the championship committee will be signing a rematch for us all real soon. We'd appreciate it if you'd get those belt all shiny again for us. Pale hates it when they're not buffed right. He likes to see his reflection so he can shave in front of it. Come on boys, enough with this dump. And don't worry about the tab... the drinks are on me. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: And I must say that one of the more intriguing stories in the tag ranks right now is the mysterious Gemini twins hanging around the Zodiac Connection. They certainly have given The Zodiacs renewed vigor. BL: That's probably not all they've given Taurus and Scorpio. I hope those boys get their penicillin shots. LM: Sigh, you're hopeless. Let's hear from the Zodiacs: [SCENE: The Zodiacs are relaxing underneath the stars in the evening sky.] TA: Now we must inquire as to who we should be preparing to face next. SC: It's quite obvious that Gemini shall show us the way. [Gemini reveal themselves from behind some nearby trees.] GE: Matters must be revolved between the Zodiac Connection and Pain, Inc. It is very important that the match be held as soon as possible. Furthermore, it is necessary for the Zodiac Connection to ensure that all tag battles are fought fairly without outside interference on the part of those not affiliated with those in combat. TA: Gemini, will you speak to others here in the IIWF? GE: We have not come to satisfy the needs of others in the IIWF. We have only come to meet the needs of the Zodiac Connection. Words from pathetic mortals such as Becky LaRue mean nothing to Gemini because we understand how inferior she is to those who follow to path of the righteous. It is important for the Zodiac Connection to worry about matters in the ring, Gemini will deal with matters outside the ring! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------- WAR ROOM & SATURDAY NIGHT: A LOOK AHEAD ---------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Tim and Becky will bring you all the action from the "Wednesday War Room" tomorrow night, and there is another huge card planned at the IIWF Coliseum: SINGLES MATCHES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * Creed vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton [J] * Lord Byron vs. Scott "the Whine" Bloom [J] * "Badboy" Randy Acorn vs. American Patriot * Highwayman vs. Venusian Death Cell * Nightwing vs. Harlequin Chaos * IRONMAN MATCH: Ronnie Paris vs. Mad Dog Watkins TAG MATCHES ~~~~~~~~~~~ * Brody Thunder & Billy Shakespeare vs. Tiger Claw & Casey James * Rising Sun Revolution vs. The Hangmen * Pain Inc. vs. High Plains Drifters * BRAGGING RIGHTS MATCH [No countout, no disqualification]: G.W.R. vs. Armed Forces LM: And make plans to also join us for another big card on "IIWF Saturday Night" this week. You want action? Just check out these matches coming your way Saturday night: SINGLES MATCHES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * Creed vs. [CHALLENGER] * "Sychosys" Joe Petrow vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah * Chris Quigley [w/Otto Verhoeven] vs. Danny Dynamite [w/Players' Club] * REMATCH: "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder vs. Tiger Claw * THIRD RAIL MATCH: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Subway Psycho * IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Harlequin Tragedy * IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP TRIANGLE MATCH: Steve Kowalski vs. Marty Warnett vs. Billy Shakespeare TAG MATCHES ~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Dark Disciples vs. Domination * G.W.R. vs. High Plains Drifters ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan Kauffman H 24 17 5 2 75% (WC) WC Steve Kowalski H 12 9 3 0 75% (IC) IC "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 22 17 5 0 77% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 25 20 3 2 84% (1) 1 Cheshire H 5 4 1 0 80% (21=) 2= Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 5 4 1 0 80% (21=) 2= Otto Verhoeven H 21 15 5 1 74% (3) 4 Chris Quigley F 15 11 4 0 73% (4) 5 Subway Psycho F 24 15 7 2 67% (7) 6 Lord Byron H 12 8 4 0 67% (5) 7 Brody Thunder H 9 6 3 0 67% (2) 8 Billy Shakespeare F 28 18 9 1 66% (9) 9 Marty Warnett F 26 17 9 0 66% (8) 10 Casey James H 28 17 9 2 64% (10) 11 Harlequin Tragedy N 9 5 3 1 61% (6) 12 Tiger Claw H 38 20 16 2 55% (13) 13 The Sandman F 24 13 11 0 54% (12) 14 Venusian Death Cell H 13 7 6 0 54% (11) 15 Mr. Damage H 22 11 11 0 50% (14) 16 The Hangman H 13 4 6 3 42% (16) 17 Creed N 5 2 3 0 40% (17) 18 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 2 2 0 0 100% (18) 19 Nightwing F 1 1 0 0 100% (19=) 20= Highwayman F 1 1 0 0 100% (19=) 20= "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 20= Mad Dog Watkins H 4 3 1 0 75% (21=) 23 Serge Annis N 4 2 1 1 63% (24) 24 Harlequin Chaos N 4 2 2 0 50% (25=) 25= Ronnie Paris F 4 2 2 0 50% (25=) 25= American Patriot F 4 2 2 0 50% (25=) 25= "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 3 1 2 0 33% (28) 28 Alex Rio H - - - - - (-) - -------------------------------- on tour ------------------------------- The White Phoenix F 15 11 4 0 73% (-) - ------------------------------- suspended ------------------------------ Stud Stetson H 11 4 5 2 45% (15) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dark Disciples H 6 4 2 0 67% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 12 9 3 0 75% (1) 1 The Armed Forces H 24 16 7 1 69% (2) 2 High Plains Drifters H 25 16 8 1 66% (3) 3 The Arabian Knights H 14 9 5 0 64% (4) 4 The Hangmen H 13 7 4 2 62% (5) 5 Pain Inc. H 13 7 5 1 58% (6) 6 The Alphabet Boys F 14 7 5 2 57% (7) 7 The Players' Club F 9 5 4 0 56% (8) 8 GWR N 6 3 3 0 50% (9) 9 The Zodiac Connection F 15 7 8 0 47% (10) 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Harlequins N 1 1 0 0 100% (10) 11 Prophets of Rage H - - - - - (-) - -------------------------------- on tour ------------------------------- Domination F 6 4 1 1 75% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ----------- COMING FRIDAY: "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH TIM DROSS ----------- ************************************************************************** LM: We hope you've enjoyed this special edition of "Inside the IIWF." Be sure to catch all the action in the "Wednesday War Room" with Becky and Tim Dross, and then Tim comes your way again Friday night in our usual spot with either "Countdown to Saturday Night" or another "Inside the IIWF." I'm not sure which because I'm very confused right now. BL: Yeah, and everyone is so shocked at that. LM: Let's just say until next time, this is Larry Morton for Becky LaRue saying... BL: Hey, isn't that Gunther over there? LM: Huh? Where? BL: Nighty-night, everyone! [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle as the members of the "Gecko Fan Club" start a "You Can't Hurt the Lizard" chant. The credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+