[Fade up on footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." The arena is empty, very few lights are left on. After all the fans have gone and the janitorial staff have locked up, only the massive cage that has been set up about the ring and the man who stands in the center of the cage remain. Steve "The Fury" Kowalski is walking around and tugging on the cage links. The camera starts to pan down to him, as he begins to speak:] SK: [pulling against the cage door] Seems fit 'nuff to me. Fit 'nuff for an IC _war_! That's right. Did ya think I would let ya steal the belt? I back down from _NO_ man, but ya were smart and made it two. I signed the contract, I made the mistake. I'm man 'nuff to admit it. Are ya man 'nuff to admit that ya didn't earn that win? ! I mean, Shakes was helpin' ya! What more could ya ask, right? [The New Jersey Nightmare leaps onto the side of the cage, holding himself up by holding onto the links.] SK: Ya haven't won ! Marty, ya haven't sweat 'nuff yet! Ya haven't bled 'nuff yet! But if ya want to be a true champion, you'll have to face me ONE ON ONE! Here! [Waving his arms around] In the cage! I did it yer way, now ya do it my way! If ya dare. [Kowalski climbs to the top of the cage, shouting down at the camera.] SK: Ya don't know what it means to be a champ. Ya don't hafta like me, but _damnit_, ya better respect me! The match is signed for this Saturday Night. But let's up the ante. When ya find the balls to meet me here for that belt, YOU _WILL_ SWEAT and YOU _WILL_ BLEED! Ya may have won over the fans, ya may have won over the IIWF, but ya still hafta prove yer the champ to two people! You and me! I don't think yer the champ and ya don't believe it yerself. Yer just caught up in all the lights and sounds. So, Marty, why don't ya answer that question. Here, in this very cage, let's see if yer willin' to do what it takes to carry that belt. [The camera fades to black and leaves the words "Saturday Night: Caged Fury!" The opening graphics explode onto the screen:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== W + E + D + N + E + S + D + A + Y W + A + R R + O + O + M ----------------------------------------------- + 29 January 1997 + [Fade through to a darkened studio: two figures sit at opposite ends of a curved desk, behind which a large video wall, made up of a number of individual television screens, fades into life, each screen showing highlights from a different recent IIWF match. The studio lights rise, and the figures are revealed to be announcers Tim Dross and Becky LaRue. Dross looks up from his papers and speaks:] TD: Hello there, folks, and welcome to another edition of IIWF Wednesday War Room! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me as always is my broadcast colleague, and natural hair colour campaigner, the lovely Becky LaRue. BL: What?! TD: As you heard at the top of the show, former Intercontinental Champion Steve "the Fury" Kowalski is determined to put his rematch this Saturday Night with the man who beat him for the title, Marty Warnett, in a cage. BL: If Warnett's got any sense, he'll just vacate that title now. If he steps into that cage with Kowalski, I wouldn't like to see what the Fury does to him. TD: We'll be talking more about all the action coming up on Saturday Night later on in this hour, but our first port of call is discussing all the action that went down in the Coliseum earlier tonight as the IIWF superstars put on another dazzling show for more than fifteen thousand fans. BL: Only fifteen thousand? Ol' Dictator Danny won't be pleased with that attendance. TD: I hardly think it's anything to worry about, Becky. Coming up in this hour: [The video wall behind the desk shows footage of selected events from the evening's action: IIWF interns are seen walking down the aisle and among the crowd, handing out more copies of Mad Dog Watkins' open contract.] TD: It seems that nobody has stepped up to the plate to accept Watkins' open contract for this Saturday Night, so Watkins took a number of measures to ensure that his name wasn't forgotten. We'll be telling you how. [Footage of Ronnie Paris locking up collar and elbow with Spur.] TD: After what Mad Dog Watkins, Spur and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts did to him on Saturday Night, Ronnie Paris fought for honour and vengeance against the mysterious Spur. [Footage of all four members of Night Patrol and the W & W Express in a wild-brawl, centre ring.] TD: Two new tag teams made their IIWF debuts tonight. We'll be hearing from Night Patrol and the W & W Express and seeing how they matched up in the rings. [Footage of Harlequin Chaos hitting one of the Barnacle Brothers with a vicious clothesline.] TD: Having been on the receiving end of an electric shock at the hands of Otto Verhoeven and Cheshire on Saturday Night, it seems that Harlequin Chaos is actually a little more of a live wire, so to speak. Could he really have gotten a little faster? [Footage of "Superstar" Stud Stetson wrapping Billy Shakespeare up in an abdominal stretch.] TD: Stud Stetson was determined to stop the rot in his results with a victory over Billy Shakespeare, who's still struggling with injury. Is Stetson's superstar in the ascension, or did Billy steal the spotlight? We'll tell you. BL: Enough of the puns, already. [Footage of Domination and the Alphabet Boys brawling in the ring.] TD: A shocking incident in the match pitting Domination against the Alphabet Boys may have some far-reaching implications for the future of Domination in the IIWF. [Footage of Brody Thunder being floored by a spinning kick by the White Phoenix.] TD: And in our main event, the beleagured Brody Thunder faced the house on fire that is the White Phoenix. Did Thunder douse the Phoenix's flame? [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall.] TD: All that and more coming up tonight, folks, and we've got Larry Morton and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts down in the Coliseum for their insights. BL: Insights?! Snort. TD: But before we get to our recap of tonight's results, let's go to an interview recorded by intern Steve Summer earlier this evening. Steve thought he would be speaking with the Lady DeWinter -- but that's not quite how it turned out: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." IIWF Intern Steve Summer is standing outside the door of the ladies' restroom, with an excited look on his face:] SS: Thanks guys, I think I might just have the opportunity to break a major scoop to all the fans in the IIWF! Vinnie the janitor told me that just minutes ago a woman resembling the Lady DeWinter entered this very restroom...with the Lord Byron nowhere in sight! We are all aware of the problems those two have been having in recent weeks, but we have yet to hear any of her side of the story yet! So if she comes out I would... wait! [The door to the ladies' restroom begins to open.] SS: Oh boy, this is it! Excuse me miss... HUH!? [Out of the room walks... "Sychosys" Joe Petrow! Petrow is wearing an "HB's Gym" t-shirt with blue jeans and sneakers. He is carrying a large duffel bag over his shoulder, from which a small tuft of yellow can be seen protruding out of. His hair is tied in a simple ponytail, and his scraggly beard has been shaved, though he still sports a three-day growth. Joe looks towards the intern, somewhat startled at first, then gives a slight grin.] JP: Hey, it's the rookie! I gotta say, I'm impressed. Not many people know how to find me when I don't want to be found. SS: Bu...bu... JP: I know, I know [Joe pats Steve lightly on the cheek] you want to get yourself a scoop, right. Well, since you went through all this trouble to find me, I'll throw you a bone. But here's how it's going to work. Until I say otherwise, you are going to function as a microphone stand. You will say nothing, you will do nothing else. You will hold that microphone in the optimal position such that each and every one of my words are clearly carried to their intended audience. If you do not do this, I will not be held responsible for any incidental groin injury you may incur. Do we have an understanding here? [Steve fearfully nods his head] JP: Heh, interns...[Joe turns to face the camera, and speaks more calmly and intently than has ever been seen by him in the IIWF] JP: First of all, Mr. Dirt Dog, you and our upcoming dog collar rematch will have my full and undivided attention on Friday. But right now, there are some pressing matters that I can't wait any longer to address. There is certain team made up of illiterate journeymen living in the year 1995 that think they can get a rise out of me by talking trash about the corpse I buried a couple weeks back. That somehow, what that rotting shell did in the past has any bearing whatsoever on my future. That saying that a belt they've been parading around for months is suddenly a piece of tin, and that a federation that puts out a card a year doesn't want me around somehow makes them so much better than me. Well guys, all that your cute little shoot talk does is serve as a showcase for your stupidity. I'm not in the IIWF to relive the past, or to live up to your's or anybody else's expectations of the person I am supposed to be. I came to the recognized greatest e-wrestling federation going today to prove that no matter WHAT you think of me, that I am the best at my trade. Yesterday, today, and tomorrow, Joe Petrow is THE MAN! And in the end, there will be NOBODY left to dispute this! Which brings the real topic I want to discuss. I said I wasn't going to say anything more about Dan Kauffman until I got my title shot. This was before he announced the schedule for the rest of his career, and left me off of it. Kauffman, if this were a regular 9 to 5 job, you would be expected to tie up all of your loose ends before you leave. Well Dan, it's no different here! Who was the man that whispered sweet nothings in my ear over the phone, telling me how great I was, and how together we would rule the world? That was YOU Kauffman! You made those phone calls, and you know why you did! Because even though you wear the world's championship belt, you know who the greatest wrestler in the world really is. And then you come out, looking oh-so-important, saying it's time to hang up the trunks and call it a career. But like some Japanese senator, you want a big fairy tale goodbye! You hand pick a series of over-rated wannabes, save for one real man, as if this is going to restore the dignity you chucked out the window! And to top it all off, your ideal way of ending your career is against...CHRIS QUIGLEY? A man who's method of getting ahead in the world is locking on to a superstar like a parasitic barnacle and riding his coattails to a secondary tag belt. Chris Quigley... a man who couldn't get a ONE COUNT on me if his life depended on it... is the man in the big Ring Wars main event? [a look of disgust crosses Joe's face] Dan Kauffman, if you are going to try to justify your greatness, there is no way you can get around having a match with me. I don't care if that title is on the line; that real man I spoke about earlier is coming for you, and I'll make sure that...I mean, I'm sure that he's gonna have no trouble relieving you of that excess baggage. It doesn't even have to be in front of an audience. Just say the word, and we'll get it on one night in an empty gym, and no one else will ever know. But it must happen, Kauffman. I don't want any astericks in the books of history that speak of my glory. And Dan...even if you run your gauntlet, and think you've left this sport a success, the day will come. The day when you're sitting in your rocking chair, watching Sychosys effortlessly defend the world title. Sitting there. Thinking to yourself, "was I really the man I thought I was?" And that lingering doubt, which would cling to you until your dying breath, would be even more painful than any beating I could possibly give you. [Joe walks away. Steve drops his arm and lets out a deep sigh.] JP: DID I SAY YOU COULD MOVE?! [Steve immediately puts his arm back out, and holds the microphone steady for empty space. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Strong words from Joe Petrow there, Becky. Does he really think that Chris Quigley couldn't even get a _one count_ on him?! In any case, without further ado, let's begin our recap of the night's in-ring action, starting with the debut of highly-touted tag team newcomers, the Prophets of Rage: [The video wall displays still images of the wrestlers and their stats:] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= PROPHETS OF RAGE vs. THE ROTUNDOS Derek Rage & Shadoe Rage Barnacle #1 & Barnacle #2 comb. 573lbs comb. 790lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: It is fast becoming a law in wrestling that wherever the Players' Club go, the Prophets of Rage are not far behind. And the rule holds true here in the IIWF, as Derek and Shadoe Rage made their impressive debut earlier tonight, making short work of the Rotundos. BL: Those two fat slobs have gotten bigger again, Timmy. TD: Their sponsorship deal has fallen through, and I think they've resorted to comfort eating. In any case, the Prophets made short work of the obese partnership, watched with eagle eyes from the aisle by the Players' Club. Derek Rage demonstrated some of his devastating power arsenal, such as the top rope powerslam and the vicious hanging cobra clutch, while Shadoe Rage showed off his aerial moves, such as his flying head stomp... BL: Sounds like something from one of Larry's line dancing classes. TD: But not as painful to watch, of course. Anyway, the Prophets finished the Rotundos with their devastating Headwrecker -- a move in which the Prophets' manager, Pizzazz, illegally jumps from the top rope with a bulldog on the hapless opponent, after which one of the Prophets makes the pin. These two men looked highly impressive in action tonight -- although the Players' Club didn't look too impressed. However, Dynamite and Reyna left ringside before any confrontation could take place. [WINNERS: Prophets of Rage by pinfall in 4:45.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= NIGHT PATROL vs. W & W EXPRESS Lt. Keene & Sgt. Blazer Doug Wayne & Clark Watson comb. 530lbs comb. 500lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Tonight was our first chance to get a look at another two new tag teams to the IIWF, and both teams were keen to impress in their debut. Let's hear their prematch comments now: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." Lt. Keene and Sgt. Blazer appear on screen with Asst. D.A. Hawkings.] KEENE: So, those Hollywood degenerates, the W&W Express are going to be our first collars in the IIWF! HAWKING: Yes, Lieutenant... these are most abhorrent perpetrators of mischief and are attempting to spoil this fine organiation with their filth! KEENE: Hollywood... say, Blazer... remember the last time we went to Hollywood? They made that video of us and we were all over the screen... HAWKING: [patting nightstick into left hand] Of course, this time there'll only be IIWF cameras, and I'll be able to have any complaints of "excessive force" ignored! I'm sure our friend and my sister in the professional circle, Becky LaRue, can put a positive spin on coverage! KEENE: We should arrest these punks just for violating fashion laws! I mean, they dress like those wannabes on Miami Vice! We need to show them who the real Law and Order of the IIWF is! BLAZER: Late Night, Beach Bum... Get ready for a long night of "Police Brutality!" [The scene fades, and the screen spins. Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." The W and W Express, Clark "Beach Bum" Watson and "Late Night" Doug Wayne work out in a gym.] CW: [finishing his squats] We finally made it to the big time. The premier tag team of wrestling is in the premier league. When people say the word tag team, the first words out of people's mouths is the "W and W Express". All the other tag teams cannot compare. Comparing us to these other teams is like comparing ice cream to horse manure. Tell 'em, "Late Night". DW: [finishing working his abs] Ya know, we got our money, our women, and all of these other belts, but we are missing one thing: the IIWF tag belts. The tag belts that say you are the best. We are not here to dilly-dally, we are here to destroy everyone that stands in our way to the belts. So, soon-to be victims, consider yourself warned. [Cut back to the studio.] BL: Did that power-dressing paper-pusher make reference to me there, Timmy? TD: I believe Assistant District Attorney Hawking is relying on you for support, yes, Becky. BL: She'd better pay well. Huh, she's a lawyer -- she must earn enough. TD: And it was her team, Night Patrol, who came out with the victory tonight, and they made it apparent that they are willing to use fair means or foul to secure success. At the climax of a hard-fought match between these two teams, "Late Night" Doug Wayne had Lt. Keene set up for his trademark flying legdrop, but at that point, Hawking distracted the official, allowing Sgt. Blazer to knock Wayne from the top rope with his nightstick, clipping Wayne in the knee. He then clobbered Clark "Beach Bum" Watson with the stick, and Keene managed to pin Wayne for the three count. Night Patrol made a quick exit, and the W & W Express did _not_ look pleased. BL: It's early days yet. They can get their butts kicked more comprehensively some other time. [WINNERS: Night Patrol by pinfall in 14:33.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THE HARLEQUINS vs. BARNACLE BROTHERS Harlequin Tragedy & Harlequin Chaos Barnacle #1 & Barnacle #2 comb. 545lbs comb. 550lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: As I mentioned earlier on, the Harlequins will be concentrating solely on tag team action from now on, which is bad news for the rest of the tag ranks -- a unique combination of theatrics, gymnastics and power, Harlequins Tragedy and Chaos, together with Melody and Comedy on the outside, make a formidable team, and on tonight's showing, we can expect them to go a long way in the tag division. BL: A long way round the bend, maybe. These guys are out of their trees. TD: Bizarrely, the electric shock sustained by Chaos on Saturday night seems to have had a positive effect on the young athlete. He now appears to be slightly faster in the ring, which, coupled with his prodigous size, is an even more potent combination of power and agility. Needless to say, the Barnacles didn't stand much of a chance in this match, and they were finished off in short order by the Harlequin Hellraiser... BL: What is that? Some kind of cocktail? TD: No, pay attention, Becky. It's when Chaos holds an opponent in position for a vertical suplex, and then Tragedy leaps off the top rope and piledrives the opponent to the mat. BL: Oh. That's boring. It should have been a cocktail. TD: Hmm. After the match, the German partnership of Otto Verhoeven and Cheshire made their way towards ringside to confront the Harlequins, who they will face this Saturday Night, but a gang of security staff and officials forced the Teutonic terror and the bizarre clown away from ringside. BL: Shame. It would have been nice to see the moronic grins smacked off the Harlequins' faces. [WINNERS: The Harlequins by pinfall in 3:54.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ronnie Paris vs. Spur 210lbs, 6'0" 230lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The mysterious Spur continues to pose more questions than he answers with another inexplicable decision tonight when he stepped into the ring to face Ronnie Paris, the man who he attacked at Steve Roberts' behest on Saturday Night. Let's go to Steve and Larry Morton, live in the Coliseum, for the details. [Tim and Becky turn to face the video wall behind them, on which appears the image of Larry Morton standing beside Steve Roberts in front of the empty ring in the silent IIWF Coliseum. Roberts sips from a paper cup.] LM: Thanks, Tim. Spur really is proving to be one of the most bizarre competitors ever seen in the IIWF -- in tonight's match, after wrestling Paris for only a matter of a minute or so, he simply dropped Paris like a bad habit and left the ring, heading up the aisle. Paris tried to call Spur back, but the masked man refused to return to the ring, and disappeared into the locker room area. SR: Spur's a smart guy, Wally. LM: That's Larry, Steve. SR: Whatever. Spur doesn't have to waste his time on morons like widdle Wonnie Pawis. LM: Apparently not. Spur preferred to take the countout loss instead of facing Paris in the ring one-on-one. Things weren't finished there, however. As Paris stood in the ring, arguing with the official about forcing Spur to return, who should come out into the arena but Mad Dog Watkins, who abused Paris from the safety of the aisle. Paris seemed to turn a shade of scarlet upon seeing Watkins, but the official held him back, and Watkins seemed to find Paris' annoyance amusing. He turned and began to head back up the aisle, only to be met by Creed... SR: ...that big jerk... LM: ...and an intense stare-down between the two men at a distance of some twenty feet ensued. Neither man shifted an inch until the "CEO" Jack Montgomery came out from the locker room area and whispered something in Creed's ear before pulling him away. I don't know whether what we saw was indicative of the Corporation looking to expand or eliminate, but something is certainly up between Creed and Watkins. Thus, with the two big black men out of the aisle, Paris finally made his own way back to the locker room -- only to be stopped by a terrified-looking intern, who handed Paris a black wreath. Ronnie looked bewildered by the, er, gift, and dropped it, hurrying back into the locker room. I've got that wreath here... [Larry lifts up the large black wreath, which is made up of dead and rotting leaves and flowers, tied with black cord and ribbon.] SR: Isn't it beautiful? LM: If I didn't know better, I'd say that this is the work of Deathbringer, but it doesn't look like the big guy's style. Lots of mystery and intrigue surrounds every factor in this match -- the fans left the Coliseum talking about this one, and there was hardly any wrestling. Back to you in the studio. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall as Tim and Becky turn back to face the cameras.] TD: What a strange chain of events. BL: [mocking] Oh, call "Unsolved Mysteries"! TD: We'll try to get to the bottom of all this, folks, and have an update for you in Friday's Countdown to Saturday Night. [WINNER: Ronnie Paris by countout in 1:22.] TD: Before our next encounter, let's take a few moments to hear from the men behind Pain Inc., Mr. Mic and Hades. IIWF reporter Bulldog Brown went to meet the dastardly duo at their home: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week. Bulldog Brown is seen seated in a large den. Rows of books adorn the walls with a large desk at one end of the room. The other end has a couch, a glass coffee table, and two chairs. Bulldog is seated in one and Mr. Mic is seated in the other. On the couch is seated Hades. Hades is fidgeting and seems to be very nervous. Mr. Mic appears very relaxed and nonchalant.] BB: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the elaborate home of one Mr. Mic. Seated with him is his "associate", Hades. Hades: Watch that scarcasm, Brown, or so help me..... MM: Easy, easy now, Hades... Mr. Brown, for your own good, please do not upset Hades. His size is equally matched by his power and intelligence. BB: Whatever. Mr. Mic, I must say that your "rebirth" here in the IIWF has been less than spectacular. You have lost two matches in a row, Morningstar came up with a no-decision against Dan Kauffman, the Armed Forces have seen fit to disassociate themselves with you. Can you explain this? Hades: Well, Bullfrog, you seem to know everything. Why don't you tell us, moron?! [Bulldog stands and starts to take off his jacket as Hades leaps up and rips his t-shirt off.] MM: Gentlemen, please... Hades, you know better than that. Hades: Pardon me, sir, but this cheap hack of a reporter thinks he knows everything! MM: Never mind that. As for you, Mr. Brown, I have invited you into this house. I had hoped you would mind your manners before I have you thrown out of here by Pain Inc. Do I make myself clear?! BB: [sitting] Humph. Yes. MM: Now to answer your questions. First, our match with the Hangmen a couple of weeks ago... you saw for yourselves. The only reason we didn't win that match was because they kept illegally substituting the third Hangman and even that didn't stop us from pounding them into the ground. Hades: The officals in this sport should pay more attention to the match rather than watching Mr. Mic and myself! BB: I doubt that very much. What about your loss to the Zodiac Connection and their comments last week? MM: The Zodiac Connection, ha, those two buffoons are losers. We couldn't stop beating the tar out of those idiots and we get disqualified for it. This is wrestling, not the Nutcracker Suite, we're doing our jobs and we get disqualified for it. BB: I think Pain Inc. got disqualified because they got a little overzealous with the ringside furniture. MM: One man's pain is another man's pleasure! BB: What about their comments last week? MM: The Zodiacs seem to have real big mouths. I hope they can back them up because I challenge them to a No-DQ match next week. Let's see if they can back those big words up. I don't think so. BB: I see. What about Kauffman? MM: Dan Kaufmann is a has-been. That's why he's retiring. As for your comments about the match -- remember that it was Kauffman who was unconscious after that match, not Morningstar. BB: Yeah, only because Hellraiser hit him with a chair! Hades: All's fair in love and war. BB: What about the Armed Forces? MM: Brown, don't waste my time with those Army brats. Those two make the Army seem more like the Girl Scouts. [Hades laughs] Those two are the biggest whiners in the sport. They snivel and whine and they're about as stupid as the Alphabet Boys! If they want to tangle with us then sign 'em up. We'll make short work of 'em! BBB: What's next for Pain Inc.? MM: It seems that the Players' Club have been running their mouths a little too much for Pain Inc.'s liking. They think that with Kauffman they are invincible. Sorry to burst your bubble-heads, boys, but think again. The Players' Club are a bunch of boy-toy girly-men who need to go back and finish high school before they start up in a real man's sport like wrestling. BB: [looking shocked] You don't think the Players' Club is going to sit back and take that do you, Mr. Mic? [Mr. Mic sits back in his chair with a big grin on his face.] MM: [laughs] What could they possibly do about it? Hades: Absolutely nothing! BB: This interview is over! [Bulldog throws down the mic and leaves the room as Mr. Mic and Hades continue to laugh. Cut back to the studio.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Alex Rio vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven 228lbs, 6'1" 340lbs, 6'8" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Newcomer Alex Rio has already managed to turn the head of one of the biggest, most powerful and most dangerous competitors in the IIWF -- the German juggernaut, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. These two had something of a war before they even made it to the ring tonight -- a war of words, of course. Let's hear from both combatants: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, already in his ring attire, is practicing some shadowboxing, and shows some pretty fast right-left combinations. After a powerful-looking hook he turns to the camera with a sly grin on his face.] OV: So, Herr Rio, you chose to come to the IIWF. [He shrugs] I have no problems with that. This federation can always use some more victims for the talented wrestlers. Who knows? Perhaps you schwachkopf can even become the next Ned Norton? But then you made a mistake: You insulted me. There are few men stupid enough to do this and I am going to show you exactly why the German juggernaut is the most dangerous man here and no hotshot from the DPW will come in here and badmouth a former World Heavyweight champion. The next ten minutes or so shall be a lesson about respect, little man, I sure hope you learn something. Welcome to the Slaughterhouse, Herr Rio, welcome indeed... [Verhoeven leaves the locker room, muttering "I only hope no one sticks his nose..." Cut back to the studio.] TD: But Rio was more than ready to answer these criticisms from the "Butcher", and decided to spice up the ring introductions a little. BL: Let's roll that footage! [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Alex Rio stands in the middle of the ring, with the microphone in hand, as the crowd boos. He's wearing a white half shirt featuring "Animal Rights" on the front of it, along with highly cut off jean shorts and black knee pads. He begins to talk.] AR: Alright, let me just say one thing... [The crowd continues to boo.] AR: Would you people shut up and let me talk? Otto Verhoeven likes to call himself "the Butcher." I know, as do all of you, that he isn't a _real_ "butcher" by trade. It's just some sick fetish or whatever... BUT... I have talked with some very well-respected animal rights activists, and Otto, buddy... I hate to break the news to ya, but they don't like you using the "butcher" name too much. It sends across the wrong message or something like that... So... It looks like you're gonna have to change your name, sorry. Because, if you don't, before you know it, you're gonna have Pee Wee "Go Cow Go" Jenkins and Ted "Buy Spam, Not Ham" Johnson on your tail. And, I don't think you want that. [smiles] I'm gonna be fighting you tonight in the name of ANIMAL RIGHTS! And the stuff I got on you from the immigration office was a whole 'nother story, but I won't go into that right now. But, what I WILL do, is save this fine announcer some work and introduce you to all these lovely people here tonight. [Alex snatches the note cards from Sparkplug Lee.] Okay, here we go... This fat ass weighs in at 340 pounds... [thinks] 340 pounds? A butcher? You been smuggling a few lamb chops under the cutting board for yourself, Otto? Naw... Not you... Maybe a few extra steroid injections, but that's about it. From... Essen, Germany? Wherever the hell that is... And led to the ring by... "Nurse" Heidi! Alright, good to see you got yourself out of that phone sex business, Heidi, I'm proud of ya. Otto Verhoeven, COME ON DOWN! [Big heel pop as Verhoeven emerges from the locker room area. Cut back to the studio.] TD: As you can see from that footage, Verhoeven was _not_ a happy man coming into this match, and he certainly took it to Alex Rio in the early going. Rio was initially able to use his speed and agility -- not to mention his stalling tactics -- to keep out of Verhoeven's way, but eventually the "Butcher" managed to slow the pace, and began methodically working Rio over with his devastating power arsenal. Ultimately, Rio decided that he had taken enough punishment, and bailed out of the ring, heading up the aisle to the jeers of the crowd. BL: Discretion just may have been the better part of valour in this case, Timmy. TD: You might be right, Becky. Rio may have come out of this match looking like a coward, but at least he walked out, which is more than many of Verhoeven's opponents have been able to do in recent weeks. As Rio departed, another figure appeared in the aisle -- the imposing form of the American Patriot, the man who called Verhoeven out in yesterday's Up Close and Personal segment. The Teutonic terror approached the Patriot, and a minor scuffle broke out in the ring between the two men before security managed to pull the two big athletes apart. The Patriot and the Butcher will meet somewhere down the line, that's for sure. [WINNER: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven by countout in 9:33.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Subway Psycho vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur 255lbs, 6'5" 245lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: These two individuals were going into this match from completely different positions; the Psycho was coming off the back of a major setback at the hands, or cane, of Lord Byron, while Triple M scored his first ever victory here in the IIWF last Wednesday against Spur, and he was hoping to keep his winning streak alive. BL: Snort. TD: *ahem* Sadly, Triple M's aspirations proved to be little more than pipe dreams, as he was soundly beaten by one angry Subway Psycho. However, the match was prolonged artificially by the return to the ringside area of Otto Verhoeven, who came down to the ring carrying an unconscious homeless person over his shoulder. The Teutonic terror simply dropped the bum at ringside, and then headed straight back up the aisle, shouting at the Psycho: "You're the next sewer rat I'll take down! I will clean the American streets!" BL: You don't do a very convincing Verhoeven, Timmy. TD: Well, you get the general idea. In any case, the Psycho quickly finished McArthur off with both the De-Railer and the Train Wreck, before leaving the ring and carrying his homeless comrade back up the aisle to a huge ovation. The Psycho went looking for the Butcher backstage, but Otto and Heidi had already left the Coliseum. They may not be so lucky on Saturday. [WINNER: the Subway Psycho by pinfall in 5:52.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= DOMINATION vs. ALPHABET BOYS Mr. Psycho & Monster Abie & Zed comb. 620lbs comb. 589lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The Alphabet Boys, despite being accepted by their heroes, Rising Sun Revolution, still harbour some resentment for Domination, who were previously good friends with Ryudo and Hiroshi. I say "previously" because after the events of tonight, Domination may not be interested in friendship with the Japanese duo any longer. Let's go over to Larry and Steve for the details: [Tim and Becky turn to face the video wall behind them, on which appears the image of Larry Morton and Steve Roberts, seated in the ringside seats in the empty IIWF Coliseum.] LM: Thanks, Tim. The Alphabet Boys were accompanied to the ring by Rising Sun Revolution, who took seats at ringside and cheered Abie and Zed on. Inside the ring, Domination managed to keep Abie in the ring and wore him down by cutting the ring in half and keeping the fresh man in the ring at all times. After about ten minutes, Zed finally managed to make the tag, and he hit the ring like a house on fire, clotheslining Mr. Psycho out of the ring to the floor before going to work on Monster. At this point, things turned very nasty. We would show you this footage, fans, but... SR: [interrupting] ...but the suits don't like the sight of blood. The spoilsports. LM: What followed was one of the most heinous attacks in IIWF history. In a flash, the Venusian Death Cell appeared out of the crowd and attacked the winded Mr. Psycho, who was recovering from his bump to the arena floor. The Cell picked up the helpless Mr. Psycho and performed a backbreaker over the steel railings -- one of the most dangerous moves I've ever seen attempted in all my years in the sport. SR: It was great! There was this crunch, and... LM: [interrupting] Steve, please! Have a little respect. Unfortunately, it immediately became apparent that the attack had caused a very serious injury to Mr. Psycho's back. He was immediately unable to move, and the Cell looked completely freaked out by the incident, disappearing back into the crowd. I understand that there will be an inquiry into this attack, and from speaking with a few officials backstage earlier on tonight, I wouldn't be surprised to see the Cell suspended indefinitely. Mr. Psycho was tended to by paramedics, who were wary of moving him for fear of exacerbating the damage to his back. After some tense moments, Mr. Psycho was successfully taken from ringside, and airlifted by helicopter to Portland General Hospital. It is understood that he has suffered a minor fracture to his spine. Doctors are optimistic that the fracture will heal sufficiently for Psycho to walk again within a couple of months, but his wrestling career is almost certainly over. SR: I hope the front office had their insurance policies paid up, because this one's going to be expensive. LM: The match was, as you might expect, declared a no contest. I'll be heading off to the hospital after this broadcast to get an update on Mr. Psycho's condition. For now, back to you in the studio. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall as Becky and Tim turn back to face the cameras.] TD: As I said, fans, a shocking and unfortunate event there in the Coliseum tonight. Our thoughts and prayers are with Mr. Psycho. [Match declared a NO CONTEST after 16:22.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Real Deal" Luke Steele vs. Mr. Damage 275lbs, 6'4" 245lbs, 6'3" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Luke Steele has been rather quiet since winning his IIWF contract at Snow Brawl a month ago, but he went to the ring tonight determined to start making noises in the IIWF: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Luke Steele works up a sweat in the ring of the empty IIWF Coliseum. It is a few hours before the card is to begin, but it's also the first time he's been in the ring since the attack by Brody Thunder.] LS: Hello again, IIWF faithful. I'm finally back, more or less 100 percent. The unexpected time off gave me a chance to clear my head after the win at Snow Brawl. I think I may have to thank Brody Thunder for the vacation, because I really didn't realize how special it is to be in this league. Voted best federation by the fans means it's a privilege. Now I realize it. Tonight I've got a chap by the name of Mr. Damage; an original title, for sure. Yet your creative powers won't mean a thing when I hit you with the Real Steele Press, or the KO. Either way I will beat you, and I may do it a totally different way than you expect. Damage, your name says it all, because that's exactly what I plan to cause. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: It's interesting that Steele chose to hit on Mr. Damage's name, because that's exactly what Mr. Damage chose to do in return: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Mr. Damage stands in the locker room area:] MD: Listen up! I got few things to get off my chest. Firstly, I have to say that last Saturday Night, Harlequin Chaos, you took me to the limit, and I still beat you. It was a hard fought match but I found your weaknesses and used them against you. If you or your brother want another shot just say the word. Hey, I could take you both on. Harlequin Melody, I was surprised and somewhat puzzled at what you did to me on Saturday, but I'm not angry at you. What gets me is why did you fake being hypnotised for two weeks and subject yourself to hard physical labour cleaning my house and massaging my feet? I checked and my wallet wasn't missing! Nor the Picasso, so, why? But you gotta admit when we broke into song we made quite a duet! Secondly, I would like to make an apology, so listen up because you don't hear these often from me! The last couple of weeks I have been saying a few things about Cheshire the clown, things that are derogatory. I would like the IIWF, and especially Cheshire, hear me retract my statements. Last Saturday Night Cheshire and Otto Verhoeven came to my aid to stop me from the electroshocks that the Harlequins nearly subjected me to. They didn't have to. I guess I was dirty at Cheshire as he beat me not long after his debut last December. I hate losing -- who doesn't! But, Cheshire, you proved to me that there is more to you than I thought. I was holding a grudge against you, and I shouldn't have been [Mr. Damage wipes a tear from his eye]. So Cheshire I apologise and thank you and Otto for your assistance last Saturday. You saved me from a lot of pain and probably a couple of weeks in hospital. I owe you one fellas, just give me a call... anytime! Now after getting that out of the way, I turn my attention to the REAL DEAL. You wanna know what the REAL DEAL is? I'll tell ya. The REAL DEAL is that I am going to kick your [bleep]! The REAL DEAL sounds like a special going on at Burger King or McDonalds... [Mr. Damage changes his voice and says with overdone sarcasm] Do you want fries with that, sir! [Changes Back] How did you come up with your name? Did you buy a Rhyming Dictionary or something?! I heard rumours that you are the best thing to come out of Clevelend, Ohio. I know those rumours are incorrect, though, as _nothing_ good has come out of Clevelend, Ohio. By the way, I know your mother wrote your biography. Is it true that you are going out with you cousin Ethel? So listen here, "REAL DEAL" LUKE STEELE, the REAL DEAL is that you are in over your head, and boy have you got a beating coming to you! [Cut back to the studio.] TD: And so the scene was set for the match. Steele was undefeated going into the squared circle tonight, but thanks to the nefarious tactics of the Antipodean athlete with an attitude, Steele came out with his first mark in the loss column. BL: And it won't be his last, either. TD: Mr. Damage was his usual methodical self in the ring tonight, working on Steele's neck and head area with headlocks, chinlocks, bulldogs, elbowdrops and chokeholds. However, when Damage had Steele set up for his Thunderstruck legdrop, Steele turned the tide by managing to superplex Damage from the top rope into the ring. Steele staged a laudable comeback, but just as it looked he would be able to put Damage away with his Real Deal Press, the Australian rolled out of the way of the incredible shooting star press, and Steele hit the mat hard. Mr. Damage then pulled some brass knuckles out of his tights and, behind the referee's back, cleaned Steele's clock with a vicious right hand, knocking him out cold. Damage was then able to take the tainted pinfall -- a disappointing end to an impressive match. BL: Not really, Timmy. Damage had Steele beat anyway -- he was just adding insult to injury with those brass knuckles. TD: Well, I dare say that Steele will be looking for revenge on Mr. Damage after tonight. [WINNER: Mr. Damage by pinfall in 18:18.] TD: Before we discuss our next match, let's take a moment to get some comments from some of Mr. Damage's former associates, the Hangmen: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." Inside the offices of Hangmen Inc., located in Beverly Hills, Ca., The Hangmen are seated around a large conference table. Also at the table is the man who was sitting at ringside last Saturday night.] TH: Dross, looks like you finally got something right. Your hotline piece on this man sitting here with us was correct. He is the son of the late Senator. In the wisdom of the Senator and maybe his ability to see things that happen in the future, his son has been training, wrestling and learning the inside and the outside of the world of wrestling. As you all can see we have new offices here in Beverly Hills. The Hangmen Inc. as been formed and a marketing force has been put in place. We all know that the goal of us all is the gold. Belts, and that metal that has been the dreams of us all. [The camera pans the wall of the conference room. We see a picture of The Senator, The Hangman, High Velocity and what now is The Hangmen.] TH: As you all can see, we have put up things on our walls that again remind us of things we hold dear. A history of Hangmen Inc. Now is also the time to unvail the newest member of Hangmen Inc. [The camera zooms in in a picture of The Senator's son.] TH: Ladies, and I direct that towards Becky, and gentlemen, I present to you the son of the late Senator, the future of Hangmen Inc., Roy Bean, The Judge. He will be at all of our matches as well as watching the finacial matters of Hangmen Inc. [The camera now moves to a close up of The Judge.] TJ: IIWF and the rest of the world of wrestling, I have my duries here in the Penthouse offices of Hangmen Inc, but let me put your minds at ease also. I WILL BE AT ALL MATCHES THAT INVOLVE ANY MEMBER OF HANGMEN INC. Is that clear enough? This person who keeps showing up at the arenas impersonating my father is going to have to deal with me. I have been wrestling for over 20 years. I wore a mask for all of that time. The mask was so I did not have to have things handed to me. The reputation of The Senator would have made it to easy for me. I have achieved what I have on my own. So IIWF BEWARE, when you least expect it I will be there. [The camera pulls away and again we see Hangmen Inc. all sitting around the table.] TH: Mr. Wales, you seem confused about your recollection of events as they happened. You stated that we turned down your invitation to rejoin The Posse. I do not know where you got that idea, but since you have, maybe Dross is spreading Hotline rumors again, The Hagmen have moved on. In our match last Saturday night somebody who thinks that they can just come down to the ring and interfere in something that does not concern them, interrupted yet another chapter in the wars between us. I am sure you have enough anger in you to take care of that problem, before we have a return match. A match that you have yet to fully comprehend. We will get into that later. Remember that this match is The Senator's last great idea and has yet to be seen. TJ: Remember, Mr. Wales, sleep can bring nightmares. So be very carful where you and the Posse do that. [The camera moves to a picture of The Senator standing over a fallen figure in the ring. Cut back to the studio.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Superstar" Stud Stetson vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare 285lbs, 6'7" 230lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Billy Shakespeare was keen to repay Stud Stetson for the vicious attack which means that he must wrestle with protective head-gear at the moment. Stetson, for his part, was unrepentent, but an interesting and mysterious incident occurred while Stetson made his way to the ring. BL: He forgot how to whine and cry? TD: Er, no, Becky. Let's roll the footage: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight". Stetson is introduced by Sparkplug Lee and steps out into the aisle to a big heel pop, with Lace, looking stunning as usual, by his side. He takes a few steps, and then the lights suddenly dim to a deep shade of crimson. Stetson looks around, confused, and as he turns, he sees the word "HATE" flash on the video wall at the head of the aisle. Within a matter of seconds, the lights return to normal and Stetson, looking over his shoulder at regular intervals, heads cautiously to the ring. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Well, I certainly don't know what to make of that, Becky. BL: I think we can take it to mean that somebody doesn't like Stetson very much. TD: The self-proclaimed "Superstar" certainly seemed a little spooked by the bizarre light show which accompanied his entrance... BL: Hey, maybe it was Joe Petrow again! TD: Perhaps. In any case, Stetson wrestled a cagier match than we might usually expect from him; nonetheless, he took advantage of Billy's impaired vision thanks to his clumpy headwear, and was able to blindside him easily. Billy fought a good match, however, and weathered an early storm to take the advantage around the ten minute mark. However, when Stetson cheap shotted Billy by choking him on the ropes, he took the advantage once more, and may have been in a position to win, until newcomer Alex Rio sprinted to the ring, and proceeded to attack Billy Shakespeare, forcing the referee to disqualify Stud Stetson. Stetson looked irate, and Rio simply laughed before backing up to the locker rooms once more. BL: Rio deliberately cost Stetson the match! TD: He certainly did, Becky, and the "Superstar" did not look happy at all. He simply left Billy in the ring and took off in pursuit of Rio, although I understand that officials were able to keep them apart backstage. [WINNER: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare by disqualification in 17:53.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder vs. The White Phoenix 267lbs, 6'2" 220lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The main event tonight in the Coliseum was a highly-anticipated match -- our first chance to see the Phoenix in action since his return from China, and a chance for Brody Thunder to stop the rot in his win/loss record with a victory over one of the IIWF's most impressive cruiserweights. Thunder was certainly in no mood to mess around before the match: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Brody Thunder is in the dressing room just moments before going to the ring. He finishes taping his wrists and then looks right into the camera.] BT: The White Phoenix, huh? The bird in them fairytales that magically rises from ashes or some such nonsense. Well I ain't never believed much in fairy tales son, an' tonight I'm gonna end the one you've been livin' in. Yer little fairytale worl' is about to become a nightmare cuz you ain't facin' some prelim bum who couldn't wrestle with a thought an' win. No sir, tonight yer gonna stare across that ring at the Lone Wolf, the man who will snap ya back to reality in a heartbeat an' who'll snap yer neck even quicker, my friend. This ain't no sport fer dreamers. There's only room fer winners. An' that's what yer facin'tonight Phoenix... a winner. Plain an' simple. I ain't comin' to that ring to shake yer hand... I'm comin' to put ya down. If ya ain't ready to bleed an' sweat then I suggest ya stay in that locker room. This ain't no popularity contest an' I ain't jokin'. So put the women an' children to bed, pop the top on a longneck an' get ready for a war, people. White Phoenix... I'm comin' to that ring tonight with a full agenda, my friend... [Thunder puts on his hat which masks his eyes.] ...an' losin' ain't on it. See ya soon, sport. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: However, when it came to the match itself, the Phoenix was more than ready for the onslaught which Thunder brought at him. In fact, the Phoenix is exhibiting a far more direct style, and he was even going as far as breaking the rules with chokeholds and the like. Perhaps most strikingly, the Phoenix is exhibiting even less regard for his own safety than before, hitting Thunder with not one but two top rope dives to the outside at various points in the match! However, Thunder, showing his stamina and endurance, knew that the longer the match went, the more the balance swung in his favour -- the Phoenix seemed partially spent after the first ten minutes or so, and Thunder used his power moves to take control. However, when Thunder attempted the Thunderbolt on the Phoenix, Chow somehow managed to wriggle his way out of the torture rack, and hit Thunder with an impressive spin kick. At that point, who should come to the ring but IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi. The Phoenix interfered in Musashi's match on Saturday, and the "Enigma" seemed keen to return the favour tonight. The Phoenix turned his back on Thunder to badmouth the "Enigma" from the ring, and the distraction was long enough for Thunder to recover sufficiently to attack Chow from behind with a vicious clubbing blow to the back of the head. BL: ...with that loaded elbow pad of his. TD: There's no proof that his pads are loaded, Becky -- although from the way the Phoenix dropped in the ring, there's good reason to suppose that they might be. Thunder took advantage of the Phoenix's incapacitation with a German suplex for the quick pinfall at the climax of an exciting match. The Phoenix's mentor, Sun Tsi, moved to confront the "Enigma", but Musashi simply left the ringside area. Things are sure to heat up between the Phoenix and the "Enigma" in the coming weeks, folks. [WINNER: "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder by pinfall in 24:11.] TD: Okay, folks. Let's take a look ahead to this Saturday's huge card. In an eagerly-awaited encounter, the dark destroyer, Deathbringer, makes his return to active competition with a match against the "Epitome of Evil" Serge Annis. Let's hear from the big man now: [SCENE: The screen is black. Voice over:] VO: He was supposed to be gone from the rings once and for all. [Scenes of various wrestling federations appear on the screen. Many known announcers talk about the sudden disappearance of Deathbringer and about the impact this turn of events would make.] VO: But he once again fooled them all... [Cut to dark street. A hearse slowly drives by.] VO: He never had planned to retire... But he knew it was time for... [The image explodes into a thousand pieces, revealing a banner of glowing red letters] VO: THE DEATHBRINGER CHARITY TOUR 1997... [Fast paced music kicks in and several scenes of the tour are being shown, each subtitled with the corresponding country: FRANCE: Deathbringer standing in front of the Eiffeltower, surrounded by hundreds of fans / Deathbringer passing dozens of fans in a hearse / ENGLAND: Deathbringer hiding at Madame Tussaud's, scaring some people / Deathbringer collecting money in front of the Big Ben / GERMANY : Deathbringer admiring the cathedral of Cologne / Deathbringer signing autographs in front of the Quadriga in Berlin / ITALY : Deathbringer standing beside a pope-double / Deathbringer surrounded by hundreds of fans while sitting at the beach, as always wearing his cowl / JAPAN : Deathbringer walking through the overcrowded streets of Tokyo / USA : Deathbringer jumping down a bridge with a bungee rope around his feet -- The music suddenly stops as the scene cuts over to the mortuary, where Deathbringer sits behind a wooden, old table in the back corner of the hall. Some torches slightly lighten up the room. The camera zooms in to Deathbringer] DB: So now I am back. My yearly charity tour was yet again a huge success for you mortals. With the help of some large companies and even some of this league's wrestlers we collected a total of 2.1 million US dollars. But as I see that not even the president of the world's greatest wrestling leagues knew about my tour I guess that this whole topic is of no interest to you. [Deathbringer stands up and walks behind a huge coffin with "R-W-II" written on the side] DB: As I said I am back in business... And you all know what this means... It means that Black Death has returned to this league and it means that the ruler has returned. Now you still have time to hide and you still have time to run as I will not be in action for yet another few days... But whatever you do, mortals, you cannot hide... So be wise... And do what you think you have to do... But just do not make the same mistakes as a once fellow fan-favourite of yours... [Deathbringer taps the casket a few times] DB: I will now leave you alone as there are other things to be done... I just want to give you this little piece of advice... [The camera zooms in to Deathbringer's eyes] DB: PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER... [Cut back to the studio.] BL: Charity tour my as... TD: [interrupting] Thankyou, Becky. As well as that incredible encounter, don't forget that the main event will see both the World and Tag Team Championships on the line in a single match as Dan "Flash" Kauffman and the Players' Club team up to face the Syndicate forces of Casey James and the Dark Disciples. In a Dog Collar Match, Dirt Dog Unique Allah and "Sychosys" Joe Petrow will get it on, Marty Warnett will defend his Intercontinental Championship against Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, Lord Byron will face "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, and we'll find out whether anybody wants to accept Mad Dog Watkins' open contract. BL: And the viewers will be able to gorge themselves on the sight of my beautious self bringing another grown man to tears in my Lair. TD: It wouldn't be the first time... Folks, we're right out of time here tonight on the War Room. Larry and Becky will be back with you on Friday with another Countdown to Saturday Night, and myself and Steve Roberts will be calling all the action live from the Coliseum this weekend. Until then, this is Tim Dross, for Becky LaRue, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts and Larry Morton, saying: so long, everybody! [The lights in the studio drop again, casting the announcers in silhouette. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+