[Cut to a montage of IIWF action accompanied by hard rock music. The final chord lingers as Taurus and Scorpio of The Zodiac Connection double drop kick the Rotundos. Suddenly, the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - January 31, 1997 ================================================= [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scramble to get on camera. A man wearing a St. Louis Rams cap waves a homemade poster which reads "Mad Dog is the Plasterer of Paris." An elderly woman screams "I don't eat fish either, Mr. Patriot!" And two teens with feathers in their hair wave a "Nightwing Fan Club" sign. The camera zooms toward Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again everyone and welcome to another exciting installment of "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm Larry Morton, and beside me as always is the lovely Becky LaRue. January is slipping away by the minute, which means we creep ever closer to Ring Wars III. BL: Funny how the word "creep" seems to fit you, Larry. LM: And it's good to see you too, Becky. We have a lot to cover tonight, but first let's bring everyone up to date on the condition of Mr. Psycho, who was brutally attacked outside the ring Wednesday night by the Venusian Death Cell. BL: Brutally? Isn't that a bit dramatic? LM: Not in this instance. The Cell lifted Mr. Psycho and performed a backbreaker over the steel guard rail, forcing many at ringside to recoil at the very sound. After some tense moments with the emergency medical personnel at ringside, Mr. Psycho was airlifted to the hospital and immediately was under the care of one of the best spinal cord doctors in Oregon. BL: Hell, he's probably the _only_ spinal cord doctor in Oregon. LM: Dr. Nikitmu Osterhout... BL: BWAHAHA! What a silly name! LM: Nikitmu is Oriental. BL: I was talking about Osterhout! LM: He told me earlier today that Mr. Psycho did indeed sustain a minor fracture to his spinal column. His condition has stabilized and he should be back on his feet within a matter of weeks. These spinal cord injuries are always tricky... BL: Oh, thank _you_ Dr. Morton! LM: ...but the prognosis for him is very promising. A cloud is over Mr. Psycho's wrestling career however, but one thing Dr. Osterhout told me is that Mr. Psycho is in excellent physical and mental health. BL: Someone named Mr. Psycho is in good mental health? This doc's a quack, isn't he? LM: No, but he has seen athletes overcome the odds before. Let's hope this is one of those cases. For now, however, it looks like Mr. Psycho's wrestling career is over. BL: Strange things happen in the Billy Shakespeare wing of Portland General Hospital. Hehe. LM: We can also tell you that there was a bit of a contract dispute in IIWF President Dan Spreadbury's office Thursday night. As result, newcomer Alex Rio is no longer the newcomer and shall henceforth be known as the _late_ Alex Rio. BL: Henceforth? LM: But fear not, fans, because wrestlers are flocking to join the IIWF. BL: And you're a _flocking_ idiot, Morton. By the way, isn't it time for our: ************************************************************************** -------------------- IIWF WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM RECAP ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Why yes it is, Becky. And it was another hot night at the IIWF Coliseum as the Wednesday War Room certainly lived up to its name: *********************************** PROPHETS OF RAGE def. THE ROTUNDOS *********************************** LM: Under normal circumstances, you would expect The Rotundos to be a _big_ roadblock for any team's IIWF debut. BL: _Fat_ chance. LM: However, the Prophets made short work of the overweight duo, finishing them off with the Headwrecker. I might add that the move is illegal because their manager, Pizzazz, is involved in the move. BL: _Might_ add? I think you just did, you moron. LM: The Players' Club weren't impressed with the move after watching the match, but we could have used Dynamite and Reyna backstage after the match: [SCENE: Outside the Prophets of Rage locker room. IIWF broadcast intern Steve Summer walks past when he hears crashing noises coming from inside. He sticks his head in the room, only to find Shadoe trashing the locker room, while Derek just chills listening to music on his headphones. Pizzazz lounges by a mirror, applying new makeup with an expert hand.] SS: What's going on back here? [His surprise attracts Shadoe who rushes the camera and grabs Summer by the shoulder.] SR: What's going on? Yeah, that's exactly the question I'm asking you! What the hell was that? Two overweight turnips? No, I refuse to let my name be associated with nonsense like that. Where's the competition? Huh. We were promised that we'd get the best there was. Fat boy was the best you could find for me? Naw, this was a phone in match. It took no effort. SS: Well, I was certainly impressed. I particularly liked that move by Pizzazz at the end. [Pizzazz just gives Summer a withering glance as she checks the snaps on her rubber jumpsuit. She lights up a cigarette in its long holder and takes a drag.] What's her problem? SR: Same problem we all got. We were promised competition. And we don't see it. I tell you this. There's gonna be blood soon if something doesn't change. BL: Blood. Wait a minute, you've only been here one match! I think that's a bit .... [Summer never finishes his sentence. Pizzazz advances on him peeling on a studded palmed evening glove. Summer turns and knocks over the camera man as he screams and heads for the exit. The picture goes snowy as Shadoe can he heard yelling.] SR: Give us some damn competition! YEAH!!! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ******************************** NIGHT PATROL def. W & W EXPRESS ******************************** LM: Justice had a new face Wednesday night -- and it was ugly. BL: You two will make a perfect couple, then. LM: [sarcastically] Oh har, har. Both of these teams were making their debuts Wednesday, but Night Patrol should have been ticketed for police brutality after Sgt. Blazer turned the tide of the contest with his trusty nightstick. BL: I love a man with a trusty nightstick. LM: I'll bet you do. We'll hear more about these teams later, but W & W Express had an immediate response for the Night Patrol: [SCENE: The W & W Express -- Clark "Beach Bum" Watson and Late Night Doug Wayne -- are in a limo.] CW: The Night Patrol has disgraced the sport of wrestling. We were giving those law enforcement rejects the beating of their pathetic lives. DW: I actually heard Keene begging for mercy. He was saying "Please Mr.Wayne, don't drop the flying legdrop on me. Don't end my career.I'll do anything, please." Then that peon Blazer hit me with that weapon. CW: That was the biggest mistake of their lives. You like to play dirty Night Patrol? Well we can be the dirtiest dogs of them all. We'll eat you up then spit you out like it was nothing. DW: We will take you on any place, any time. You want a cage match? How about a scaffold match? Anything you want. So sign the dotted line and meet the Express. If your little manager wants to get involved, we'll slap her too. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ***************************************** THE HARLEQUINS def. THE BARNACLE BROTHERS ***************************************** LM: The Harlequins continue to impress observers with their tag team skills, and you'd have to count The Barnacle Brothers among those who were impressed Wednesday night. BL: Maybe so, but The Barnacle Bozos aren't close to being at the skill level of Otto Verhoeven and Cheshire. The Germans will make short work of the Harlequins tomorrow on "IIWF Saturday Night." They've already been working together. Watch this: [SCENE: A gym with a new wrestling ring. In the ring are Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven and Cheshire. Nurse Heidi and Doctor Hinterhalt sit at a table at ringside, obviously serving as commentators.] NH: Velcome, ladies and gentlemen. You are about to vitness the greatest tag-team pairing the IIWF has the pleasure to vatch, when the German juggernaut himself tags up vith the... uh... the clown. DH: He may have an unusual attitude, but in my opinion his insanity makes him at least as dangerous as Herr Verhoeven. The combination of raw strength and excellent technical skill will make this tag team the most successful in the IIWF history. NH: Vatever. Now let's take a look at their opponents. [The Barnacle Brothers come to the ring in their usual sailor ring attire, looking rather concerned.] NH: There they are, the Barnacle Brothers, 595 pounds of American inability. DH: [with a sarcastic tone] Let us not underestimate this fine team. [The Barnacle Brothers still stand at ringside, obviously arguing which one of them should enter the ring first. Suddenly, Cheshire yells out "Yeeeeehaaaah!" and performs a stunning slingshot plancha on BOTH of his training opponents.] NH: A great move by Cheshire. DH: You are right, Fraulein Uppenmann, his recklessness is remarkable. [Cheshire stands up, giggling, grabs Barnacle #2 by his nose and rolls him into the ring. He then proceeds to stomp Barnacle #1's head into the floor. Meanwhile Verhoeven has pulled Barnacle #2 up and begins to throw left-right punching combos at his upper body, then whips his stunned opponent into the ropes and floors him with a devastating lariat. On the outside, Cheshire has climbed on the apron. He raises the arms to an imagined audience and comes crashing down with a vertical splash on the other Barnacle brother.] NH: Does he ever stop laughing? DH: Only to draw a breath. [The Butcher shouts something at Cheshire, who comes into the ring, dragging his "sparring partner" with him.] NH: Now ve are going to see some good old double-team moves. [Verhoeven and Cheshire seem to discuss their next action for a moment, then the bizarre clown climbs on the top-rope. Otto moves into the same corner, grabs Cheshire's attire and throws him exactly on top of Barnacle #2. Cheshire has a gleeful smile on his face and counts to five.] NH: A picture perfect Rocket Launcher here. DH: [writing down some notes on his clipboard] Indeed. [Barnacle #1 has staggered to his feet again. Cheshire runs into the ropes and comes back with his patented somersault dropkick, which blows his opponent into the arms of the waiting Butcher, who immediately executes a belly-to-back suplex. Again, the smaller German climbs to the top while Otto locks on a front headlock. With a quick jump Cheshire drives his feet into the back of the sailor while Verhoeven executes simultaneously a DDT.] NH: SPIKE DDT! That's a move my darling and I did ven ve vere a tag-team. DH: Do not worry, viewers, I have already taken care of medical support after this training session. I think it is now time for the grand finale. [The Butcher drags the battered Barnacle up and loads him onto his shoulders while Cheshire is already waiting on the top rope, again yelling and waving at the non-existent crowd. Then he launches off the turnbuckle and executes an amazing flying Frankensteiner, plucking the Barnacle Brother off Verhoeven's shoulders.] NH: O gott. A flying franken... DH: I believe the proper term is hurricarana, Fraulein Uppenmann. NH: I am so sorry. Ah, here come our heroes. [Verhoeven and Cheshire have left the ring, leaving only carnage behind. Heidi gives her fiancee a microphone. The Butcher has a fierce expression on his face.] OV: Harlequins! What you just saw was not only amazing display of tag-team fluidity, [he points at the still unconscious Barnacle Brothers] this will be your future. You two hundesohne do not stand a chance against two premium German athletes. We are stronger, faster and more intelligent than you two... [he throws a wary glance at his partner] freaks, and, come Saturday, your broken bodies will grace the canvas and you won't dare to confront us again. NH: Bet on that! C: [takes the micro with grin on his face] You know, Trage, I've always looked forward to facing you in the ring. I think a clash of the funny guys is what the people would surely like to see. On Saturday we will determine who is supreme clown. Remember, Trage, the one who laughs last, is slow. WELCOME TO THE FUNHOUSE! WEEHEHEHEHEEE! OV: What?! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Now THAT was impressive! LM: Impressive yes, but never rule out the Harlequins. I have a feeling that they have something in store for the Teutonic Terror and his laughing little friend. Oh how I'd love to see them crush a clown. BL: You wanna try to remain objective? LM: Sorry. Watch this: [The Harlequins are sitting in what appears to be a kitchen of sorts. Comedy and Melody are at the table, Tragedy is perched like a vulture on the countertop while Chaos is sitting on the floor with a child's pull string toy.] COMEDY: Are you sure Trag? TRAGEDY: Positive. MELODY: I don't believe it! You mean... [Chaos pulls the string.] TOY: The cow says... MOOOOOOOOOO! MELODY: Chaos honey, I spent two weeks with Mrs. Damage. The last thing I want to hear is cows! COMEDY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one Mel! CHAOS: So this is for real? It's been so long! TRAGEDY: You know I would never lie to you. [Comedy gets up and walks over to Tragedy and hugs him.] COMEDY: Of course we do. It's just that it's so incredible! [Tragedy hops to the floor.] TRAGEDY: Considering the score that needs to be settled. It's a good thing. COMEDY: Well, it had to happen sooner or later. MELODY: The sooner the.... [Chaos pulls the string.] TOY: The dog says... "RUFF RUFF" MELODY: Chaos honey, stop that. CHAOS: But it wasn't the cow! MELODY: We're trying to have a meeting here. TRAGEDY: It's alright. Come now, it's time. [Tragedy, Comedy and Melody leave. Chaos slowly gets to his feet. He looks at the toy and pulls the string one more time.] TOY: The sheep says.... MELODY [from the next room]: CHAOS! [Chaos drops the toy and runs after the others. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] *********************** RONNIE PARIS def. SPUR *********************** LM: It's been quite a long week for Ronnie Paris. First, Steve Roberts backed out of their match, calling on the bizarre Spur to take his place. Then Mad Dog Watkins turned on him. BL: And Wednesday night, Paris won the only way possible -- Spur walked out of the ring after beating the snot out of Paris. LM: Thank you for that mental picture. It's true that Spur left the ring and was counted out, and we caught up with the mysterious masked wrestler after the match: [SCENE: Spur is backstage Wednesday night. He is laughing] SP: Why do I want to fight you, Ronnie Paris? What is in it for me? You won, now go away. Unless... unless you don't feel revenged when I stepped in for Steve Roberts. But again, what's in it for me? How about we have a little fun with this? I've got an offer for you: How about if I win the match, I get to pick a wrestler to fight you. How about it, Paris? Willing to put your future on the line against me? The IIWF, this is going to be too easy. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Paris was on his way out of the ring Wednesday when Mad Dog Watkins showed his face again. It's apparent that he will not leave Ronnie Paris alone. BL: Well all widdle Wonnie has to do is sign Watkins' open contract -- if he's that stupid. LM: I understand _someone_ has signed Watkins' contract, although the front office isn't talking... BL: For a change. LM: But one thing is for sure -- Paris and Watkins will meet again: [SCENE: A dimly lit hallway. Ronnie Paris can be seen slowly walking toward a large, grimy door at the end of the hallway. He reaches the door, and pauses, turning to face the camera.] RP: A lot of people have been giving me trouble lately: Spur, who I can't for the life of me figure out; Steve Roberts -- I won't tell you what I really think of him, but the politically correct term is "spine-impaired" -- who may think he pulled a fast one over on me, but was just indulging in an immature little trick; and Mad Dog Watkins, who _did_ have me fooled. [Paris reaches towards the door handle, but at the last moment changes his mind and pulls his hand back.] Not quite yet. Just like when wrestling, timing is everything if you want to make an effective point. Well, Watkins, as I'd said ever since we first stepped in the ring, you had my respect, and it seemed to me that I also had yours. Well, it doesn't seem to me that I really want or need the respect of someone so afraid of what I represent that they have to lull me into a false sense of security before attacking. If I'm going to attack you, Watkins, and believe me I will somewhere down the road, you'll have plenty of advance warning. [Balls up one of his fists.] I'll depend upon my skills, not some cheap game of "He Respects me, He Respects me not.". I don't have time to pick petals off daisies, so you can keep your damn respect to yourself! I'm not asking for it anymore! [Paris reaches again to the door handle, this time not hesitating in pulling the door back. He steps in, and the camera follows to reveal a drab, grey room filled with cages along each wall. A few of the cages are housing animals, mostly cats and dogs. Many are empty.] Welcome to one of the many animal shelters in El Paso, fans. Mr. Watkins, do you know what they do to mad dogs in a place like this? I'm here studying it, just to find out exactly what the best way to cage a rabid dog like yourself is. Like I've said before, I always do my homework. I intend to avoid Watkins' bite, and prove his bark to be over-rated. As for tomorrow night, the open contract, I wonder who's filled it? Now, the brass tell me that I can't answer if it's me or not, might "hurt the ratings", they say. Being the nice guy I am, I won't disobey. However, I can tell you this, I'll be watching that match. Maybe I'm in it, maybe I'll be at home with a TV, maybe I'll look at a monitor in the back, or maybe I'll stroll on out and have a look. No one knows, except me. [Paris looks at his watch quickly, and then back to the camera.] Better finish soon, I don't want to make any enemies in the editing room. Watkins, it was a mistake on my part to bring a bodyguard last week, I'll admit that. I was a little worried about being jumped, but it didn't help much. So, I'll rely on my own talents, and you will see me on Saturday night! [Pan to a particularly angry dog in a cage, trying to escape to no avail. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Perhaps we'll also find out what the "CEO" Jack Montgomery's interest is in Mad Dog Watkins. I asked him that very question earlier and you'll hear later in the show what Montgomery had to say. ***************************** OTTO VERHOEVEN def. ALEX RIO ***************************** LM: The late Alex Rio had one of the toughest assignments of the night -- challenging former IIWF World Champ Otto Verhoeven. BL: But Rio decided to cut his losses and called it an early night -- and an early IIWF career. He employed what is officially being called the "Spur Strategy" -- walking from the ring and picking up his evening's check on the way out. And it's the last check he'll be seeing from the IIWF. LM: It wasn't that easy for Verhoeven, however. On his way out of the ring, he encountered the American Patriot, who obviously took offense to Verhoeven's treatment of the U.S. street people. The two big men put on a little show of their own in the aisle until security separated them. BL: Once again living proof that the Patriot's loyalty to his country outweighs his brains. *********************************** SUBWAY PSYCHO def. MAURICE McARTHUR *********************************** LM: Another man looking to settle a score with Otto Verhoeven is the Subway Psycho, who easily ended Maurice McArthur's one-match winning streak. BL: I'd say Verhoeven will clean the gutters with the Psycho, but the Stinker already smells like he did. LM: Homelessness is a serious issue. And it is one that the Subway Psycho is ready to do something about, according to Tim Dross: [SCENE: Tim Dross in a dark, dank alleyway at night. A fog moves through the air as a light rain begins to fall.] TD: Hello IIWF fans. Once again an anonymous message has sent me out on location to meet with, who I can only presume to be the underground vigilante, the Subway Psycho. However, he is not here yet, and as you can see its beginning to rain here... and this reporter doesn't like to get wet. [Suddenly, a man hole cover dislodges and is tossed aside. A dark form emerges from the hole.] SP: What's wrong Tim? Afraid the rain will wash your rug away? TD: Well, hmph... Psycho what is the meaning of this meeting? SP: To get you off your butt and out into the field. You're getting kinda fat Tim. TD: Now really! Psycho you just came off a major setback at the hands, or should I say the cane, of Lord Byron. What of it? SP: More typical cowardly [BLEEP]. Lord Byron isn't worth my time right now. But I never forget a wrong done to me. TD: Psycho everyone wants to know if you are going to accept Otto's challenge of one more match. How about it Psycho, will you accept the challenge? SP: Tim, how long have you known me? Have I ever backed down? TD: Certainly not! So you are going to take on Otto one more time! I'm sure it will be another classic! So what will be the stipulations for the match? Otto put the ball in your court. What will the rules be? SP: Slow down Tim. Now Otto... I admire the stand you're taking. For going to juvenile run-ins and such and making a direct challenge to a match in the ring. What I won't stand for is you using my simple people of the street to get to me. TD: That's right. Otto has made some serious allegations about your conduct with the "street people" as you call them. SP: I won't even acknowledge those allegations enough to call them outright lies. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I mean to these people and the city of New York, as well. I was given the key to the city by Mayor Guilliani himself. TD: So what's to become of the match? Will it take place? SP: I would very much like it to take place. A few things have to happen first. I own no material possessions. Almost all of the money I make goes to helping these people. I do make a substantial amount however, through salary, winnings, merchandise, and advertisements. TD: Advertisements? What advertisements? SP: I've been approached by the people of the Subway Sandwich chain to become their spokesmen. Watch for TV ads soon. Anyway, I'm willing to put up $100,000, with the understanding that Otto and the IIWF also match that total. Winner takes all and does with the money what he likes. I can tell you now that I will donate it all to charity, and primarily charities associated with helping the homeless. TD: Wow, $300,000 certainly is a large purse. What if Otto or the IIWF doesn't come up with the cash? SP: As far as I can tell... while I was "retired" last year, the IIWF continued to sell Subway Psycho merchandise, from which I never saw a penny. They made more than a hundred grand from that. And Otto... if you're so confident that you can beat me, then you'll have no worries about putting the money on the line. You were the one who tried to discredit my character. Let's see if you can put your wallet where your mouth is. TD: What about the match itself? What will the rules be? SP: I have a couple of ideas in mind, but I'd like to keep everyone in suspense until everyone agree to these stipulations. [A rumble from below indicates a subway train passing beneath.] SP: Gotta go Tim. That's my ride. [The Psycho drops back down through the manhole as a plume of steam emerges from the opening.] TD: What a story! The Subway Psycho accepts Otto Verhoeven's challenge, and challenges both the IIWF and Otto Verhoeven to match his bet of $100,000. And we still don't know what type of match it will be. I guess we'll have to see how this all plays out. Back to the studio. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ***************************** NO CONTEST: DOMINATION vs. ALPHABET BOYS ***************************** LM: We told you at the top of the show that Mr. Psycho has suffered a career-threatening injury at the hands of the Venusian Death Cell... BL: That's my boy! LM: ...who attacked the helpless Mr. Psycho outside the ring. Obviously this is of great concern to the IIWF because Domination is currently the top contender for the Dark Disciples' IIWF Tag Team titles. It's my understanding that the IIWF Executive Committee will meet later tonight here in Portland to discuss penalties for the VDC, and I understand Mistress has asked for interview time on tomorrow's show. Perhaps she'll let us know what's next for Domination... or what's left of it. In any event, our thoughts and prayers go out tonight to... BL: The Cell! LM: ...Mr. Psycho! BL: At-ti-ca! At-ti-ca! LM: We'll try to have all that news for you tomorrow night. **************************** MR. DAMAGE def. LUKE STEELE **************************** LM: Newcomer Luke Steele healed up just in time to be clocked by Mr. Damage and a pair of brass knuckles Wednesday night, marring what had been an outstanding match. BL: Brass knuckles will mar more than a match. That's like being hit with a frozen beluga whale. LM: The good news is that the "Real Deal" was able to walk from the ring under his own power. I'll tell you one thing, I was impressed by this young Luke Steele. BL: Need I remind you, Larry, that you also picked Mr. Blu Tone to win Coronation Clash? LM: Well, it looked like a good pick at the time! *********************************** BILLY SHAKESPEARE def. STUD STETSON *********************************** LM: Word came down from the IIWF Executive Committee late Tuesday night that Billy Shakespeare will be allowed to wrestle with protective headgear until further tests can be run. BL: They did a brain scan... it came back negative. BWAHAHA... snort. LM: Fortunately, the headgear did not really come into play Wednesday night, but one Alex Rio did. You'll recall that Rio jawed with "Superstar" Stud Stetson following Rio's debut. Well, Rio forced Stetson to be disqualified against Billy Shakespeare when he charged into the ring and attacked Shakespeare. BL: And I understand Stetson _really_ wanted to win that match. Looks like Alex didn't want to dodge red sports cars the way he ducked out of his contract. LM: One thing is for sure -- Billy Shakespeare is dodging no one: [SCENE: Billy Shakespeare in the locker room. A smirk is on his face, and he looks rather cheerful for a man in his condition.] BS: Lo', behold how far the mighty have fallen. The warrior Shakespeare so humbled to need the help of Alex Rio to win his tilt. These last weeks have seen this conquering hero humbled by a broken body and now a broken spirit. Gad, Alex Rio. I have lost my pride, my belts and my way. No longer. Dan Kauffman, you said that you would offer me a shot at your title before you left... I don't want it, I want you. Right now, you're the best. I've got to see how I compare. I've got to know if I still have what it takes to win in the IIWF. Yea, I want that title, but not right now. You beat me once long ago, the time has come to even the score. Moondust will not be in attendance this time. But to assure that no similar interference will occur, I ask for a cage match. There is the gauntlet. [He rips off his protective headgear] "Oh brave new world"... The spotlight was dimming, but the light has been renewed. It's time to prove why I'm "Born to Perform." [He leans back on the locker, grinning broadly in a way he hasn't in a long time. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow! Shakespeare versus Kauffman... what a match that would be. ************************************* BRODY THUNDER def. THE WHITE PHOENIX ************************************* LM: Shinja Chow looked as good as ever Wednesday night when he returned to the ring after more than a month off. BL: What a shame he didn't bring any "Enigma Repellant" with him from China, huh? LM: I think Takezo Musashi was merely sending a message to the Phoenix, who interfered in Musashi's match last Saturday. Those two were once the best of friends, but something has turned them against each other. BL: It's called _gold_ and Musashi has it around his waist. LM: Well take nothing away from Brody Thunder, who notched the victory over a much quicker opponent. He'll face the same problem tomorrow night when he takes on old nemesis Tiger Claw in a Texas Death Match. BL: And I don't need to tell you who got him that match. LM: Indeed. Let's go to this footage from earlier in the week: [SCENE: Open with a jumpy shot of Brody Thunder entering the IIWF Towers. The camera continues to follow Thunder inside the building and watches him enter an elevator. Cut to another shot on the top floor of Thunder turning a corner. The camera man follows in hot pursuit. Thunder can be seen entering an office down the hallway. The camera stops at the door, focusing on a plaque which reads: DANIEL SPREADBURY IIWF PRESIDENT AND CEO The camera man's hand opens the door enough to see Thunder confronting the secretary. The camera's mic picks up the conversation.] BT: I know he's in there, missy! I wanna see him, so you tell him to get his tail out here! SEC: He's in a meeting sir. You'll have to come back later. Please. BT: Who's he meeting with? Kauffman? Quigley? Warnett? Psycho? Who? I wanna know who's so god-awful important that he can't get his ass out here to talk to me? Will ya just tell me that much?! SEC: Sir, I'm sure he'll be more than happy to talk to you when he's finished. I'll have him call you as soon as he's through. BT: Oh I don't think so. Y'know what I think? I think... I'll just... invite myself into his little meeting and see for myself just who is so important! [Thunder then kicks in the wooden door which splinters on contact. He steps inside to find President Dan Spreadbury and "Outlaw" J.W.Hardin sitting at a conference table. Spreadbury looks shocked at the remains of the door, while Hardin grins and shakes his head.] JWH: Damn, Lone Wolf, they put doorknobs on them things fer a reason. [he turns to Spreadbury] Ask my 'lil Becky to pay fer that, will ya? Heh. I'm glad ya could make it, Thunder. Me and the Prez here were just talkin' bout that 'lil match you've been wantin' since Saturday. Y'know, you kin go through that there booking committee... or you kin go straight to the head man himself. Hell, mebbe I'll get me a career as a manager when I'm finished in the ring. Mebbe 'ol Josey'll be ready to hang up the spurs by then. There's just one thing, Thunder. You still gotta get that boy's signature on the dotted line. Then we got a match. You ready to go? [The two step past the remains of the door when Thunder notices the camera.] BT: Hey sport, ya rollin' tape right now? [The camera nods.] BT: Good. Give this message to Tiger Claw: All I want is one last shot at ya, son. We both know that ya didn't beat me last Saturday night. That no-good skunk James had to git it done fer ya. Seems like that's a recurrin' theme in our little scraps. One match -- a match where it ain't over 'til one man can't carry on. [he pauses] A Texas Death Match. I want one last shot to prove that I am the better man, friend. That's all. An' this time if ya git yer hand raised when that bell rings... well then you'll never hafta face this mug agin. Cuz if ya win son, I'm leavin' the IIWF... fer good! That's right pal. I'm willing to put my career on the line fer one more shot at yer carcass. [Hardin puts his hand on Thunder's shoulder.] JWH: It's part of the deal. An' there's one other thing I fergot ta tell ya, Thunder... _my_ career in the IIWF is ridin' on this match, too. 'Ol Danny boy got real innersted when I mentioned that little incentive. But when I said I believed in ya, Thunder, I meant it. [Thunder looks at Hardin incredulously, then his face becomes hard again and he glares at the camera.] BT: This time, Claw, I'm gonna hit ya with everything I got. Hell, ain't no reason to save it now. It's all on the line. All ya gotta do, Claw, is show up, son. I'll take care of the rest. One-on-one. I think that I'm the best there is. All ya gotta do is prove me wrong... ...if ya can. Now cameraboy... ya make sure ya git that there tape to Tiger Claw an' tell 'im I'm waitin' on him! Got that? Now git outta our way! [Thunder puts a huge hand over the lens and shoves the cameraman to the ground as the shot cuts to snow. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: We now know that Tiger Claw _has_ signed the contract and that match will take place tomorrow night at the IIWF Coliseum. "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder and "Outlaw" J.W. Hardin will BOTH put their IIWF careers on the line! BL: First Brad, now J.W. I don't know if I can take this! ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Fans, you'd be hard-pressed to find a bigger match than the one we have coming your way tomorrow night on "IIWF Saturday Night." Dan Kauffman and the Players' Club will take on Casey James and the Dark Disciples, with both the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship and the IIWF World Tag Team Championships on the line. BL: Well, I was talking to J.W. last night and he told me that Kauffman never got back in touch with him about teaming up to eliminate the Syndicate. Big mistake, Danny Boy. You could have had _two_ cowboys watching your back, but now you're on your own. LM: Dan Kauffman has never needed help before. BL: What about the Subway Psycho bashing Otto Verhoeven with a chair? That's how Kauffman won the belt in the first place. LM: That's water under the bridge. Kauffman and the Players' Club are ready for action tomorrow night: [In the famed depths of "Hell's Abyss", there is a new section of the trophy case. It is dedicated to IIWF Events and historical items, such as a plaque with a piece of the ring canvas from "Coronation Clash." At the center of the case sits, as it did before, the IIWF World Championship. Dan Kauffman addresses the camera which shows him in front of the case.] DK: One thing at a time, and today's topic is this six-man tag match tomorrow night. Now I know all about the Syndicate, and I've told the PC to be wary. You never know what Lau will concoct. Hell, I've gone so far as to tell the boys that if Tiger Claw shows up, consider him an enemy, for you never know what Lau can plan, and for all I know, Claw is putting on a show. Maybe not, but Brian Lau is crafty, and he's pulled the wool over my eyes before. Casey James, stop worrying about my damned dog! If you think doing anything to that 12-year old cocker spaniel is going to concern me in the least, you've got another thing comin'. The only thing you should be worried about is putting my shoulders to the canvas for a 1-2-3! Because as far as your shoulders go, that's the only thing I'm worrying about. James, you can pull out your hardcore moves and evil methods, but this time, I'm not joining in. I'm going to do what I do best, and that's wrestle. And James, for all your talking, I sure hope you have something to back it up with, cause no more [BLEEP] will be tolerated. Disciples, you have my pals to worry about, but if you think I won't try to defeat you when given the chance... well, I know you're smarter than that. I want James, and if I have to get him in the ring by showing you guys a thing or two, so be it. Nuff said. Oh by the way, I'm expecting an old Outlaw to show up tomorrow. Please do, Mr. Hardin, for I have something to say to you... in person. [Kauffman walks away as the shot fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio. Becky is making chattering motions with her hands.] LM: I understand Brian Lau has taken Casey James and the Disciples to a secret training facility in Mexico. As cunning as Lau is, there's no telling what he has planned for this match. BL: Well I don't want to give out any secrets, but I think _Lau_ is the one who'd better be watching his back. LM: Sharing a little "pillow talk" with us? BL: That's for me to know and everyone else to fantasize about. LM: Fans, we'll also have a huge rematch for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship between Marty Warnett and Steve Kowalski. This is obviously a match Kowalski has been drooling over since he lost the belt to Warnett earlier this month: [SCENE: The screen goes white, slowly being filled by dark thunder clouds. The camera pans down to the IIWF Arena. The thunderstorm has started and it is raining cats and dogs. The camera rushes through the arena entrance, doors swinging open as it goes. Only sounds of thunder can be heard. The arena is empty, but still the camera moves on. A voiceover is heard.] VO: On Saturday night there will be hell to pay! Intercontinental Champion Marty Warnett puts the gold and his _life_ on the line against the man "Who gave HATE a face." [Images of Warnett holding up the championship belt are faded in and out on the screen. Sounds of the crowd cheering for him can be heard in the background. Voiceover continues.] Respected by his peers and loved by the fans, Warnett will walk with honor into the arena. But... he will leave on his back. Because...... HELL HATH NO FURY... ["Don't Fear the Reaper" starts up. The crowds cheers from "Mar-ty!" turn to "SKULL-PUMP!" At this point, the camera has made it to ringside. The lights are all out except for one behind the ring. It only shows a silhouette of a cage around the ring and a lone figure with his arms up in the center. The darkness covers his face, but it is clearly Steve Kowalski.] SK: I'M WAITING! [The images explode and there is nothing but a scene of a devastated ring with the cage torn down. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: What a scary individual. BL: Hey, Warnett hasn't exactly been a Boy Scout himself the last few weeks. The guy's been moodier than Pizzazz with PMS. LM: We've been unable to speak directly with Marty Warnett this week, but I encountered him in the hallway of the IIWF Towers on Wednesday and he was... well, bewildered seems to be the best word for it. We managed to piece together the following tape segment using footage from the security cameras at the IIWF Towers. [Black and white footage rolls. Cut to shot of the IIWF Towers. A beat up old car arrives in the car park in a hurry, causing the attendants to dive out of the way. The car screeches to a halt in the parking space reserved for Becky LaRue.] ATTENDANT: Hey, man, what the hell are you doing? [The car door opens, and Marty Warnett steps out, wearing a ripped Syndicate T-Shirt, leather trousers, with a day's growth of stubble, and Lennon-style shades.] MW: I was parking, so what? Hey, I'm late for my meeting, and I generate your wages, pal. [Marty then breaks out into a run, brushing aside the security staff on his way into the reception area and up the stairs. He pauses, then takes a deep breath before entering into a conference room. Various men in business suits are seated around an oval table. One is looking pensive, and smoking a cigarette.] SUIT #1: Marty, you've been through a lot in the IIWF, and right now you're one of the best young talents we've seen. We're worried you may be burning out. You've seemed all over the place recently. What do you think? [Marty starts shaking his head, and slowly laughs to himself] MW: You guys really crack me up. Where are Spreadbury and Owens? What, are you guys the Majestic 12 or something? Let me guess, Steve Roberts was piloting that craft at Roswell? SUIT #2: We are the committee... bankrolling the IIWF, shall we say. So, we want to look after our assets. MW: Yeah, you guys spend enough time sittin' on 'em, after all. So, what do you want me to do? Smile a little bit? SUIT #3: Look, son, you've been abusive towards fans, wrestlers, even to Tim Dross. What's wrong? MW: Hey, what's your problem? I'm wrestling, aren't I? Defending my title? SUIT #1: Marty, we looked inside your locker the other night. [he reaches into his pocket and produces a small brown bottle] Now, do you want to tell us what it is? MW: You ever heard about civil liberties? How would you like a lawsuit? I'm not answering any more of your questions. Just keep Quigley out of my face. [Marty storms out of the room, bumping into Larry Morton in the hallway.] LM: Hi Marty, how did it go? MW: Huh? Oh, Morton. It went well. [Marty leans against the wall, holding his head in his hands] So damn well. I guess they know now. [Marty walks off] LM: Marty? They know what? [Marty stops, and turns to face Morton, his eyes blurred.] MW: Larry, life ain't always as it seems, and right now, I really don't need this, I... I can't handle this anymore. If I told those guys the truth, do you really think I'd keep the title? Or even my IIWF contract? I guess I just need time to think what to do. [Marty turns and runs down the corridor, nearly knocking over a secretary. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: I don't know exactly what to make of all that. BL: It's clear that Warnett is a drug addict, just like the Man of Steel. Maybe they can share a suite at the Betty Ford Clinic. LM: Don't go casting accusations until you know the truth, Becky. We'll keep trying to contact Marty to find out exactly what that truth is. BL: The truth is... out there, Agent Morton! Hehehe... snort. LM: Yes, well... huh? While we're on the topic of big matches coming your way tomorrow night, let's not forget the Dog Collar match between Dirt Dog Unique Allah and Joe Petrow. BL: If the name of the match fits... LM: The Dirt Dog has wanted a shot at Petrow ever since "Sychosys" injured Allah's manager, Medusa. But you can never tell if the unusual Dirt Dog is ready for a match: [SCENE: Dirt Dog Unique Allah is half-submerged in his bathtub, his eyes half-closed, looking sleepy and sick at the same time.] UA: Superlogical this... superlogical that. Remember when I used to take you down by the creek, Petrow, and I used to dip your head in the water? I remember. You used to come out with the water glistening all over your body! Whut? I said the water used to glisten all over your body! [Dirt Dog shakes himself.] What the hell am I sayin', man? Dog collar match? What the hell is that? Medusa? Medusa? Aw, man, where you at, girl? Why you gotta leave me? I don't know what I'm doing without you. Petrow, you know damn well what she means to me. And you're gonna find out just how bad this dirty doggy can be when you try to take away his bone. Dog collar? You can't collar me! No, you can't. Yeah! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: That guy needs professional help. LM: He may need medical help if he isn't ready to step into the ring with "Sychosys" Joe Petrow: [Cut to a distant shot of a deserted junkyard. Off in the distance, a lone figure stands atop a pile of crushed cars. The camera gradually zooms into a full-body shot of "Sychosys" Joe Petrow as he speaks.] JP: IIWF Saturday Night's gonna bring back memories of a great ole game I used to play as a teenager. I used to come to this junkyard, back when Old Man Scooter had this big, mean ole nasty dog. Half Great Dane, half Pit Bull, I think it was. Don't know what its real name was, but we all just called it "The Terror" Everyone else was so scared of that dog they wouldn't come within two blocks of this place. But there was something about that doggie, that sick look in its eyes like something straight out of a B-movie horror flick, was just something I couldn't resist. So one day, I climbed that fence. And that doggie, he just KNEW something was going down, because he was there outta nothing in a flash! And sure enough without a moment's breath that doggie was movin' like greased lightin' for my hide! But I was there for a reason! I didn't run from that doggie... I CHARGED 'im! And when we met I leaped up and grabbed him around the neck and held on as if the earth were ten thousand feet below! That doggie dragged me around for a half an hour trying to get its jaws on me, but I wouldn't let go! Then that poor doggie just dropped to the ground, all tuckered out! But that was just too much fun! So I slapped him around a bit to get his dander up, and we did it some more! But at last I sapped every ounce of strength from The Terror, so I just left him lying there in a heap. I came back to play a few more times, but one day he just wouldn't come get me no more. Even a dumb ole dog has some pride, but his was all gone. Think Old Man Scooter took him out to the woods not long after that, cause after all, what good's a dog when ain't got no pride anymore? Dirt Dog, I remember the last time we met. I remember winning that match, but I don't remember being all that satisfied with it. I tried to fight you like a man, but you wouldn't get back in that ring to finish the fight! I wasn't finished with you, but you wouldn't finish the fight! Well this time, Doggie, we're gonna do things your way! We're not gonna fight like men this time, we're gonna fight like animals! You and I are gonna have that dog collar around our necks so we can't go nowhere else! And I'm gonna ride you into the mat just I like I rode The Terror down on the ground, only I'm gonna only need one more time to finish the job with you! Dirt Dog, the enjoyment I'm gonna get from seeing you suffer is illegal in 43 states; fortunately the residents of Oregon are used to suffering by now. Allah, they say every dog needs a bone to chew on. Well I hope I you're hungry Dirt Dog, because your own collarbone is on the menu, and I'm serving it up raw! Come Saturday Night, IT'S SUPPERTIME! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: What a match that should be! And there will certainly be an air of a pay-per-view spectacular in the IIWF Coliseum tomorrow night when Deathbringer returns to the ring against none other than the "Epitome of Evil" Serge Annis. BL: [in a Monty Python voice] BRING OUT YA' DEAD! LM: [eyeing Becky suspiciously] Both men seem prepared for this matchup. Let's hear first from Deathbringer: [SCENE: The mortuary. As always, the stone-built hall is slightly illuminated by several lit torches positioned on the walls. In the back corner of the room is an old wooden table. On top of it is a skull impaled by a torch. Deathbringer sits behind the table, staring toward the camera, which slowly zooms in to his piercing-red eyes. He speaks with his growling voice:] DB: Well, IIWF, it is time for the reaper to return to full action. Too long have I waited to gather the remaining souls in this league. Too long have I been merciful to all you mortals. That will now end. My mission to eradicate all evil on this earth will take me through the whole competition of IIWF, but I do not care about that. Whoever you are, wherever you hide, my wrath will reach you. Sooner or later, everyone has to face me in the squared circle. This little game will go and on until the reaper sits on the throne. Once he has gained what he rightfully deserves, he will finally rule supreme in this league. [Deathbringer slowly stands up and walks around the table, coming to a halt in front of one of the several caskets standing across the mortuary] But first I must deal with the mortal who goes by the name of Serge Annis. You complain about me not speaking to you, Annis. You say that I am nothing but another mortal. This is not true, Annis, just as you are not a competent wrestler. As a matter of fact, I always tried to eradicate all evil from this earth and the reason why I did not succeed in my task is mortals like _you_. You stand in my way, you try to block my path and in the end you will end up like all the others who have tried to stand up against Death himself. [Deathbringer raises his arm and slowly points at some of the caskets] One of those could very soon become your personal home. The grave will be your bed and the moonlight shall be your blanket. Serge Annis, in just a few hours we will face each other in the squared circle. There in that ring I will demonstrate to you what the Reaper's power is all about. The road you are walking now leads you directly to a crossing -- a crossing where I wait for you. A crossing where I will show you your next path. It will be the road to hell. [Deathbringer starts to laugh in his diabolic way for a few seconds] I am the king of destruction, the master of chaos. And you, mortal, want to try to defeat me? [Deathbringer slowly shakes his head] The only thing you will succeed at is ending your life. But do not be afraid, for my voice will take you home. And Satan waits with patient joy to greet you when you are dead. Then, I finally will have time to take the next steps towards the throne. However it would be the first time that I looked past an opponent. I especially will not look past you, Annis. [Deathbringer pauses, looks down at the casket, then raises his head again as well as his arms. All the light in the mortuary is extinguished.] You know, Annis, my power is like fire... [Suddenly two little spots of fire appear and illuminate the hall again. It becomes apparent that they are Deathbringer's hands, which have started to burn.] ...and fire loves to burn. [Soon the rest of Deathbringer's cowl catches fire. He drop his arms and walks around the casket, stopping in front of it.] You think you can hurt me, Annis? Think again... and... prepare to meet your maker. [Deathbringer starts to laugh in his diabolic way. Suddenly, his imposing figure explodes right in front of the camera, which is obviously destroyed as the scene goes black. Deathbringer's laughter is still heard as the scene fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Very intimidating, but Serge Annis is a tough man to intimidate: [SCENE: Serge Annis stands in his "own" graveyard where he last pushed Bulldog Brown into a grave. He is perched atop a grave bearing the name of DEATHBRINGER. The air is very cool and crisp and Annis is only wearing Black jeans and a black jacket. Annis looks up at the camera.] SA: Dead man... Deathbringer... dead man walking. Oh, how you are so immortal. Oh how you are so not alive... bull[bleep]. Deep down behind a mask, you hide. You hide something, somewhat of an inner truth perhaps? Maybe. It doesn't really make a difference to me. What has happened between us shows what kind of men we really are, Deathbringer. You got "flamed" accidentally when you shouldn't have stuck your nose in another's business. MISTAKE #1 FOR YOU DEAD MAN! You sneak attack me from behind during my match. MISTAKE #2 YOU LUG! And you go away. On your charity tour. MISTAKE #3 YOU FOOL, AS YOU'LL BE THE ONE WHO NEEDS CHARITY! You have run Deathbringer. You are becoming more human, more mortal every day. You show your fear, Deathbringer, but wrongly accuse the Epitome of Evil. MISTAKE #4! Meanwhile I have been in the IIWF and UWF claiming victims, making foes. Deathbringer, you have been in Europe on a cheesy publicity tour. I have been wrestling. You have been signing autographs. But what good is an ageless signature Deathbringer? There are too many questions left unanswered, dead man, and some should remain that way. But I have to prove to you, and everyone else, THAT I DO NOT FEAR YOU! IT SEEMS AS IF THE ENTIRE IIWF DOES NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING I SAY! BUT YET... but yet I go out and back all of my words up and you back up your words by reducing to hitting from behind and such. Play your mind games, Deathbringer, but I can guarantee you that on Saturday night I won't need mind games because I don't play games when I am this serious... and I am not this serious unless I am deadly. [Annis hops down and moves towards a newly chiseled headstone bearing the name of DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH.] See, Dead Man, I could talk about my "tag match" with that worthless bum, Dirt Dog Unique. I could rant and rave about how much I want to twist his spine for his incompetence. BUT I WON'T! DO YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE HE IS NOT MY CONCERN AS OF NOW! YOU ARE, DEAD MAN! YOU ARE IN FOR A LOT OF TROUBLE UNIQUE, but that is all I will say with regard to you. [Annis continues walking and exposes two other new graves. Annis sits on one bearing the name of "SUPERSTAR" STUD STETSON.] Or Deathbringer, I could talk about how much I disrespect, how much I loathe one Stud Stetson for his cowardly ways, for his cowardly actions. He has no need of hitting people with baseball bats from behind like only a coward would... wait... THAT IS LIKE YOU, DEATHBRINGER! [Annis spits] YOU ARE JUST AS MUCH A COWARD AS STETSON IS! AND STETSON WILL PAY, BECAUSE WE HAVE A MATCH unfinished. The "Superstar" will see me once again [Annis walks over to the last new grave bearing the name of Ronnie Paris.] Ronnie Paris decided to stick his nose into my business when I faced Kowalski, and who knows what his full intentions were. WELL I DO! HE IS JUST LIKE YOU DEATHBRINGER! HE IS A COWARD! HE HAD NO RIGHT TO VIEW THE MATCH WHEN HE COULD WATCH IT BACKSTAGE. He will pay. But Deathbringer, none shall pay as much as you. What you say is blasphemy. I don't ignore your ring talent, for you are a very admirable foe, BUT WHAT YOU STAND FOR, WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN AND WHAT YOU PREACH IS UTTER NONSENSE! I am not the one who shows fear to you, Deathbringer. I think you are using that as an excuse for your own fears. Sweet dreams Dead Man. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Fans, I told you earlier that the "CEO" Jack Montgomery and Creed seemed to have an interest in Mad Dog Watkins. The question is: does Montgomery want Watkins as an ally or as a potential opponent. I sought out the "CEO" Thursday morning in Ohio in search of an answer: [SCENE: IIWF cameras have come to Toledo, Ohio. "The CEO" Jack Montgomery is finishing a fiery lecture on professional responsibility to the third-year students at the University of Toledo's School of Law. With the words, "always remember -- it's not personal, it's just business," still lingering in the air; the CEO has stepped away from the podium to more than the customary polite student applause and slips down a hallway and into the private offices of the Associate Dean. The CEO loosens his blood red tie and sits down in a high-backed leather chair to speak with Larry Morton.] LM: Thanks for taking a couple of minutes, Mr. Montgomery. That was an impressive speech you gave in there, I wasn't aware that you were a lawyer. CEO: An understandable oversight, Larry. I am, in fact, a long standing member of many state bar associations, but I haven't actively practiced in several years. I prefer to devote my energies to the Corporation -- and primarily to the guiding of Creed's career in the IIWF. LM: Let's get right into a couple of matters, CEO. I'll ask you point blank... are you angling for a shot at the IIWF Intercontinental Championship? CEO: Absolutely. LM: [surprised] So, the rumors of your using some back room tactics to maneuver Creed into a title shot are true? CEO: Absolutely _not_. LM: I don't follow. CEO: Let me make myself perfectly clear. I have had talks with members of the IIWF "family" regarding Creed's future. In those talks the subject of the Intercontinental Championship did come up. But we have not requested that Creed be given a title shot. In fact, the speculation about Creed's championship aspirations has, I believe, more to do with the agenda of a certain IIWF commentator than with anything I've said. LM: Well, Tim Dross has spoken a number of times regarding .... CEO: Larry, there's no need to get personal. LM: It's business -- not personal -- isn't that what you said to those students? What do you mean by that, CEO? CEO: [pauses] Creed came to the IIWF for a very specific purpose. He's not here to dress up like a woman or to tinker with anyone's theme music. He won't set fires, he won't bring a masked buddy to ringside and we won't give his leather jacket to kids in the arena. Creed is here to dominate. Now, if a title shot comes his way_we'll take it. And we'll win. But whether Creed is fighting for the gold at Ring Wars III or Nifty Ned Norton on a Wednesday night, he'll do the same thing: he will dominate... he will impose his will... and he will win. LM: You sound like you don't respect a number of the superstars in the IIWF. CEO: Again, untrue. The finest wrestlers in the world are right here. I'll admit freely there's more than one way to play this game. The only guys that I question are the ones who split their time among a number of federations. The competition around here is such that if winning in the IIWF is not your primary goal - or if you think you've gotten a little stale - then maybe you should get out of the way. If you don't want to get out of the way -- maybe you should step in the ring with someone who can make you get out of the way. LM: We have just a few moments left, we are in Northwest Ohio, just a few miles from the Detroit home of one Mad Dog Watkins. Is your visit here a coincidence? CEO: [tight lipped] I have a very busy schedule, Mr. Morton, I have to be on my way. LM: Well, I don't. Is there some type of history between he and Creed? They do have some intriguing similarities. CEO: [standing as if to leave] History? Of course not. Mr. Watkins is a fine competitor. He's had a tremendous career and the Corporation wishes him nothing but the best. LM: What about that scene in the IIWF Coliseum Wednesday night? Will we see Creed vs. Watkins sometime in the future? CEO: [laughs] Creed will take on all comers, I would assume that... down the line... Watkins can give us a good fight, but Creed's plate is full right now, and so is mine Larry. [looks at watch and moves to the door] Enjoyed talking with you, if I get a moment, I'll watch the show Friday. LM: Mr. Montgomery, Mr. Montgomery, where is Creed tonight? Where is your Creed? [The CEO does not respond, giving a wave over his head as he briskly walks back up the hallway. Cut to the confused face of Larry Morton and then back to the Larry and Becky live in the studio.] LM: Perhaps we'll learn more about that soon, but let's continue our preview of tomorrow's big show with a look at one of the tag team matchups -- a return of sorts for the Arabian Knights, who have been touring in the Middle East. BL: The Middle East? Did you know the camel clutch was invented by a lonely Iranian man? Apparently they don't have sheep in Iran. LM: Stop that, Becky! Let's hear from the Arabian Knights: [SCENE: The IIWF interview area. Prince Abdul and Omar -- the Arabian Knights -- are standing with gold belts around their waists.] PA: Here we are back in the IIWF with our new World Championship Tag Belts which we won at the Bahrain International Challenge Competition on our recent mini-tour of the middle eastern countries. "What is the competition," I can hear yourselves asking. Well it is a very exclusive tournament to which only the very best teams in the world are invited, so it is obvious why no other tag teams from the IIWF were there, they just don't make the grade. [he laughs] I know how disappointed the fans in the IIWF have been recently knowing that they won't be graced with the presence of royalty in the squared circle. But don't despair, for we are back now and we have even produced a video of our recent mini-tour. In fact, the IIWF has agreed to let us show you a few clips right now. [Some rather grainy video starts to play and various clips of the Arabian Knights beating up on several hapless opponents -- none of whom seem to have the skill, strength or experience to match them. Cut to footage of the Arabian Knights being awarded their belts and Prince Abdul shaking hands with a man who looks very similar to himself.] As you can see uncle, er Prince Hassad was very pleased to award us with these magnificent belts. [The Prince admires his belt, while Omar yawns and scratches his armpit] Now everyone can see that not even the top tag teams in the world come anywhere near to the might and power of the Arabian Knights! So I don't know how any of the teams in the IIWF think that they can come even close to matching us. We are now on a roll and nothing can stop us. I see that this Saturday night we are once again to face Rising Sun Revolution! Why do they keep pitting us against second rate opponents? We want some real competition! Do you realize that for all the time we have spent in the IIWF, we have yet to face the High Plains Drifters or the Armed Forces? Oh what joy it would be to destroy these teams and rub their faces in the dirt like we have with all of the other so-called competition. Yes, Saturday night you will be the first, Rising Sun Revolution. Others will come, but they will all fall to the might of the Arabian Knights and soon, very soon, those tag team championship belts shall be ours! [A shadowy figure can be seen moving in the background, suddenly the picture goes black and some familiar cackling laughter can be heard. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Would you believe that the Zodiac Connection is one of the hottest tag teams in the IIWF right now? Gemini have made a major difference in their performance and it appears that they are willing to give Pain, Inc. another shot -- with _their_ rules: [SCENE: Taurus and Scorpio -- the Zodiac Connection -- stand in the IIWF interview area. Gemini are behind them.] TA: Oh my, it looks like the boys of Pain, Inc. have been crying for another match against the Zodiac Connection. SC: A no-disqualification match? Gentlemen, and I must admit that I do use that term ever so loosely, I have to ask this question: what planet do you think we are from? Do you think for one solitary second we would accept a straight no-DQ match against you? Gentlemen, I must say that we do not take drugs. I do have an idea though, since you want a no-DQ match -- and we do have a winning streak against you boys, even during the days of the slump I must admit -- you are going to be forced to accept this match under our terms. No, we shall not force you to step up and agree to another Wheel match because you couldn't get the job done before. How about this? How about Mr. Mic and Hades strapped by the wrists to the Armed Forces? Once again I must state for the record that you must do this under our terms. We admit, we weren't pleased by the fact that we were forced to accept a win by DQ against you. We would challenge you to a perfectly scientific match, but we are more likely to see Becky LaRue join a convent... and we all know that won't happen. So gentlemen, if you agree to our terms, then by all means another match shall take place. TA: Being able to smack around those pathetic morons one more time I must say is going to be so much fun. SC: And our horoscope for today states "Do not make promises you can't keep." Well, promising to defeat you in the ring is a promise I know we can keep. And just remember this, no-disqualification can work both ways. TA: Fighting fire with fire. GE: Gentlemen, you have not yet begun to experience the torment that comes when you must deal with the forces of Gemini. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Another team has been mentioning Pain, Inc.'s name quite a bit lately. I'm speaking of the Armed Forces, who seem to have forged some kind of friendship with the Zodiacs. BL: Now _that_ is a load of Taurus. LM: Nevertheless, the Forces have fared well since adopting their new attitudes and they're looking to climb the rankings. I met with Nav and Def before we came on the air tonight: [SCENE: The IIWF locker room. NavCom and DefCon are joined by a peppy Larry Morton. NavCom is wearing a pair of shorts and a "Ring Wars III" t- shirt. DefCon has opted for a pair of sweats and a tank top. They look as if they've just concluded a workout.] LM: Thanks for your time guys. No matchup tomorrow night on Saturday Night, but I understand you'll be in the building. NC: A lot of cheap attacks have surfaced as of late here in the IIWF. We are setting out to make sure that we don't run into that problem again in the future. So, all tag teams who are looking to put the jump on the opposition, just remember one thing -- The Forces are, in fact, Armed. DC: Pain, Inc... hello! We rang your bells a while back when you thought you wanted to put the ol' jump on the Zodiacs... but guess you didn't watch _your_ backs! Morningstar, Hellraiser, we still haven't forgiven you two for what happened at Snow Brawl, and don't expect us to anytime soon! We're going to meet you two in the ring one day, and, rest assured, the Forces will finally court martial you unworthy soldiers. In the meantime, Mr. Mic, you better be watching for us, because anytime you think you're gonna stick your nose somewhere it doesn't belong... we'll be right there feedin' on your boys! LM: Aaron the Caddy hasn't been seen at all in the month of January. Are you still associated with Aaron, and, if so, where _is_ he? NC: Mort, if I had a nickel for every time I've been asked that. Aaron is at his home in Coral Gables, watching right now most likely. He needs some time to unwind back there in Florida... and what a great place to do so. Aaron is still with the Forces, just not as visibly anymore... and he is still helping us out. DC: He's a great business mind, no doubt about it. He's just a little... overeager at ringside. We're not like that anymore. We want to earn our victories, not just get them at the end of a six-iron. But, not to discount his abilities, on the course he _is_ a great golfer. LM: Lately, you've been wrestling a style which contrasts a bit with your old style, and frankly, I like it. In fact, you got a good win last week over the Players' Club. NC: I realize that that match was not a good clean 1-2-3 pinfall. With the interference we got a tainted win, but we wrestled our match, stuck with them, used our tag teaming skills, and we were in control when all get out broke loose. We really wanted to just set the Players straight, set an example for them, and we found at the beginning of the match -- when we all shook hands in the ring -- that it may have worked, at least in part. Reyna and Dynamite are good guys at heart, they just get a little fiery at times. DC: Hey, if somebody else runs down to the ring and costs you a match, we certainly know about that -- just ask Pain, Inc. about the numerous times they were at ringside to "help" us... costing us the match. LM: I'm sure you'll get your day with them... perhaps at Ring Wars III. Now, a match coming up this Wednesday on War Room, you're scheduled to face Domination, that is if Mistress can find a replacement for Mr. Psycho. DC: We're trying to get back on track towards those IIWF World Tag Team Titles, Mort. We know that to do that, we need to go through the top competition, and right now, Domination is sitting _high_ atop the standings, with or without Mr. Psycho. NC: And it goes further than that, Larry. We've had our altercations in the past with these guys, and we want to have a good clean match, this time inside the ring, with Monster and whoever his partner may be. So bring all you got and let's have a great match! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: "Let's have a great match?" Do we have any barf bags around here? LM: The Armed Forces have gained a lot of respect and a big fan following for their new attitude toward wrestling. Everything seems to be clicking for them right now. However, one team that has had its problems lately is G.W.R. Our camera crew was invited to a strategy session with General Kane and his men earlier this week: [SCENE: The camera pans around a room. In the center is a wrestling ring, currently empty. Various other pieces of fitness equipment are lying about. Sitting in the corner, looking at a video of a match is Kane's bodyguard, and both members of G.W.R. Kane walks over from behind the camera stopping behind the seats.] KANE: You see? That's exactly what I mean. SPOILER: I still don't get it. KANE: You're not focused. You're making mistakes. Watch. [he presses a button on the remote control. On the TV screen, Spoiler whips his opponent off the ropes, then ducks his head too early, resulting in his getting caught with a DDT. The video is paused] Now that shouldn't have happened. SPOILER: I see your point. [he leans back] What do you suggest? KANE: There's nothing I can do. It's all up to you. You should have worked this out by now. You're good enough to not make these kinds of mistakes. SPOILER: [Looking over his shoulder at the camera] Well yeah I know that. [he turns to Kane.] What's that doing here? I thought this was a private... KANE: I invited them. SPOILER: Was that wise? I mean everyone will... KANE: No one will find out anything they did not already know. Everything we need to keep secret has already been done. Or will be done before they know it. All that this will tell people is that we have found, and corrected, our weaknesses -- something which should worry our opponents. SPOILER: I suppose so. [he turns around, thinking. Kane looks straight at the camera, pauses, then speaks] KANE: It seems that people have said we've been quiet recently. That much is true. This [he makes a grand gesture, encompassing the whole room] is why. You see, we need to work out why we're not performing to quite the level we know we can. That has taken all our attention for a while. We think we now have the solution. We've corrected a number of things, both in their performance, and in mine, and we are confident that things will soon start to pick up. We have also noted the sudden influx of new tag teams. We have had our dealings with one or two of them, but others remain an unknown quantity to us. [he pauses] Not that it matters, of course. They will all reach the end of the line eventually. [he walks forward to the camera.] Now, I think you have seen more than enough. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: It looks like something may be up with General Kane and G.W.R. BL: Like their contracts? LM: No, I mean they seem to have a plan. That's something we never have to worry about with Abie and Zed, though. BL: Don't tell me the Alphabet Boys have been playing with the camera again. LM: Just watch: [The Alphabet Boys lie on their stomachs in center ring of the Coliseum. They play with a number of black tiles with white dots on them.] ABIE: If you push them, they fall over. ZED: That's why they're called Dominations. ABIE: Dominations? Is that right? ZED: [Smacks him in the head] What else would they be? ABIE: Domin... Domin... [shrugs] Dominations! [The two resume standing the tiles on end. Abie knocks them over prematurely. Zed whips a tile at him. Abie throws a stack. The two lock up and roll out of the ring. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: At least they kept the ketchup off the lens this time. LM: We should thank heavens for small mercies. Finally, for now, let's get some comments from Lord Byron, who Tim Dross found to be in an unforgiving mood: [SCENE: a private health gym. IIWF reporter Tim Dross is arguing with two receptionists. Finally, one of them shakes his head and leads Tim through into a weights gym. Lord Byron is working out on a bench press. He looks over at Tim and scowls, before completing his set and sitting up.] LB: Well, well, to what do I owe this honour, Mr. Dross? [Tim walks over, and Byron stands up, wiping his face with a towel. He holds his hand up as Tim starts to speak.] LB: [sneering] No, no, let me guess. You're obviously not here simply to exchange pleasantries, so maybe you're after comments about my match with the Subway Psycho last week. No? Maybe then you wish to find out my thoughts on the current activities of my erstwhile [Byron spits the word out] valet? Or maybe you intend to rack my brains about my upcoming match with a certain "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley? TD: I'll take it this isn't a good time then? LB: You do that. [He sighs] But as you're here, I may as well answer your questions. Make it quick. TD: Very well. I see you know all about your ward's [Byron sneers] recent appearances at ringside with Marty Warnett. Have you had any contact with her? LB: I haven't heard a single word from her since her departure at my match with Creed. [Byron smirks] The money continues to leave my account, but other than that, there has been no contact whatsoever. Frankly, I'm enjoying a bit of peace and quiet. TD: But what are your thoughts on her current appearances? LB: I think that the stress of recent weeks has got to her. She will snap out of it in time. In the meantime, I would advise my friend Marty Warnett to keep an eye on his wallet. I have nothing else to say on the matter. TD: Last week, the tag team known as the Zodiac Connection... LB: [cutting him off] Yes, I saw the interview, and yes, I was somewhat amused. But frankly, I couldn't give a damn about any such person. So what if he thinks I destroyed his career? [Byron smirks] Whoever it was, he probably wasn't the first, and he definately won't be the last. TD: Okay then, let's move on to your match with Chris Quigley. You had a good, although tainted [Byron sneers] victory over the Subway Psycho last Saturday. This Saturday, you face another top five contender in Chris Quigley, and it has to be said that this will probably be your biggest match in the IIWF so far. LB: Indeed, and I intend to thoroughly enjoy every second of it. The Quickstriker against the Aristoclutch. I have been watching Quigley in action for a long time now, and I do not intend to let this opportunity slide. I have been preparing thouroughly for this match-up, and come Saturday night, I will show Mr. Quigley just what it means to step into the ring with the greatest technical wrestler in the world. TD: Quigley has his sights set on the IIWF World Championship at Ring Wars III. He'll be in the arena with a point to prove as well. LB: [sneering] He may well have a point to prove, but I'll be damned if I let him do it against me. Saturday night, the IIWF will witness the clash of two incredible athletes. Ring Wars III is still a long way off Quigley, and a lot can happen in that amount of time. But this Saturday night, you had better not be thinking any further than surviving our match up, because believe me, whatever it takes, I intend to walk out of the area with another win under my belt, and another step closer to a IIWF title shot. Your time is up, Mr. Dross, so if you will excuse me, I have some training to do. Ciao. [Byron turns back to the weights machines as Tim Dross leaves. The scene fades out. Cut back to the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT PREVIEW ---------------------- ************************************************************************** SINGLES MATCHES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * Mad Dog Watkins vs. ? * Lord Byron vs. "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley * Deathbringer vs. Serge Annis * DOG COLLAR MATCH: Dirt Dog vs. Joe Petrow * TEXAS DEATH MATCH: Brody Thunder vs. Tiger Claw * IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Marty Warnett vs. Steve Kowalski TAG MATCHES ~~~~~~~~~~~ * Harlequins vs. Verhoeven & Cheshire * Rising Sun Revolution vs. Arabian Knights * MAIN EVENT -- DOUBLE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Kauffman & Players' Club vs. Casey James & Dark Disciples ************************************************************************** -------------------------- IIWF NEW BLOOD ----------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: The new talent continues to pour into the IIWF. BL: That's because _our_ big boys don't play. LM: So let's introduce you to a few new faces you'll be seeing in the IIWF ring in the next week. First up is a mysterious man by the name of Requiem: [SCENE: Darkness. Quiet. An uncanny stillness, like that, perhaps, of the grave. An eternal moment and then the stillness is pierced as an electric guitar begins to play. A spotlight suddenly flashes down from on high, illuminating a section of floor. On the border of the light can barely be made out a tall, powerfully built man, 6'9" or 6'10" perhaps, dressed in a long black jacket and playing a night black electric guitar. The tune is dirge like but eerily beautiful, speaking eloquently of loss, betrayal, and revenge. For long moments the tune plays on, and then it slowly drifts to an end, leaving silence once again supreme. Lowering his guitar, the figure steps into the light. Piercing pale blue eyes stare out from a face framed by a day's growth of beard. Long black hair, pulled back into a ponytail, is laced with white, as though this man was once witness to something not meant to be seen. He speaks in a voice that is barely a whisper, but contains within it a hint of cold calculation, of inhuman calm.] REQUIEM: I am Requiem. I am Requiem, and it falls to me to play the music of the damned. Many who walk the face of the Earth are damned, though some may not truly know it. Some have, over the years, drifted from the light; still others have deliberately turned their faces away to stare into the darkness. I have travelled throughout the world, bringing my music to those whose souls are imperilled. Some have heard the warning within the music, and have taken heed. Others have remained ignorant, and I have been forced to destroy them, for the damned must not be permitted to freely walk the Earth. It is my task. It is my duty, even though it be an unpleasant one. Thus, in my long journey throughout the world, I have at long last come to this place, this IIWF. I shall bring to the rulebreakers of this place a simple choice: seek redemption, or find destruction. Let my music guide you. Open your ears and your heart, recognise it as for the warning it is, or my music shall truly become your requiem. [Reaching for his guitar, Requiem begins once more to play his music. Once again the eerily mournful tune pierces the silence. The spotlight goes out, leaving the music billowing into the darkness. A brief moment, and then, over the sound of the unearthly melody, can be heard a quiet voice.] Beware, for I am coming for you soon. [The following stats roll on the screen:] Requiem ~~~~~~~ Weight: 306 lbs Height: 6'10" Origin: Parts Unknown Appearance: A tall, powerfully built man with piercing pale blue eyes, a days growth of beard and a long black pony tail streaked with white, Requiem wears an ankle length black coat to ringside, his night black electric guitar over one shoulder. In the ring he wrestles in plain black tights. Theme Music: "The Music of the Unknowingly Damned" by Requiem Orientation: Face Five Favourite Moves: 1. Flying Shoulderblock 2. Tilt-a-whirl Suplex 3. Rocker Dropper 4. DDT 5. Slingshot splash Finishing Move: "The Final Lament" - Powerbomb from the top rope Primary attributes: 1. Strength 2. Endurance 3. Technical Profile: Requiem is a man of mystery. Nothing is known of his past, save that he sometimes refers to himself as a "Dark Angel". Driven by a smouldering anger he keeps tightly under control, Requiem is something of a tragic figure whose only purpose in life is to "save the souls of those that have fallen from the light". Much given to introspection and the playing of mournful dirgelike music on his prized guitar, Requiem is almost inhuman in his calmness, determination and conviction. The inhuman coldness in his eyes is frightening, though to be preferred over the fury that arises anytime his night-black guitar is threatened. He plays his theme music "The Music of the Unknowingly Damned" himself as he makes his way to ringside, and every trip the tune is slightly different. [Handler: Martin Goodson (kaemaril@magus.powernet.co.uk)] LM: And the hot competition in the IIWF tag team ranks has led three new teams to enter the federation. Let's first meet Cold Spell: [SCENE: Bulldog Brown stands in front of a huge IIWF logo with the team known as Cold Spell.] BB: We are here with Cold Spell -- Icehawk and Edmund Fitzgerald -- who have just signed a IIWF contract. Welcome to the Big Leagues, gentlemen. ICEHAWK: Thanks! I've been telling Fitz that we needed more of a challenge than we could get in Chicago, and there's no place more challenging than the IIWF. And I'd really like to thank the fans for the nice reception they've given us so far. When we get in the ring with someone like the Players' Club or the Dark Disciples, we'll make sure you get more than your money's worth before we beat them! BB: Is that a challenge to the current tag team champions? ICEHAWK: Well, why would we have come here if we didn't think we would good enough to beat everyone? I don't expect that we will get a title shot in the next couple weeks, but the one thing that Fitz has been teaching me is patience. If we need to beat every team in the IIWF before then, that's fine. And maybe while we are waiting, I'll keep my hand in and beat some of your Cruiserweights. That's a really nice-looking belt you gentlemen have. And that would give Fitz a chance to show what he can do, too! Heck, I know he could beat Dan Kauffman right now, but I guess Kauffman is retiring. But if he gets through Ring Wars, the belt will be vacant. So maybe we could win the tag belts at Ring Wars, and then Fitz could win the vacant World title while I went after the Cruiserweight title ... [Fitzgerald watches his smaller partner with a look of exasperation.] BB: Ummm, yes. Mr. Fitzgerald, you've been fairly quiet. What do you think about the IIWF so far? [Fitzgerald looks like he may actually say something, but never gets a chance.] ICEHAWK: I'll tell you one thing that we don't like about the IIWF! The poor fans never get to see a good match! These people pay their money to see matches between evenly-matched competition, where the better man wins. But that damn near never happens, as far as I can tell. Every match is either a complete blowout, or ends when 87 guys run out of the back and jump on one side or the other. And we don't like that, because it cheats the fans, so we are going to do something about it! All of you guys who care about the fans, but who can't ever win a match cleanly because of outside interference, I'm telling you not to worry, because we'll be watching your backs! And if that means we have to take on The Players' Club and the Syndicate and the Hangmen and Stud Stetson and mmmmmmph! [The interview comes to a sudden halt as Fitzgerald clamps one of his large hands over Icehawk's mouth, tosses him over his shoulder, and walks off the set. The following stats roll on the screen:] Cold Spell ~~~~~~~~~~ Theme Music: "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot Name: Icehawk Edmund Fitzgerald Weight: 220 lbs 280 lbs Height: 5'10" 6'5" Origin: Oulu, Finland Rogers City, Michigan Theme music: Olympic Fanfare See above Orientation: Face Neutral/reluctant face Five moves: 1. Power Bomb 1. Bear hug 2. Northern Lights Suplex 2. Powerslam 3. Moonsault 3. Clothesline 4. Top-rope spinning 4. Gorilla Press Frankensteiner 5. Shooting Star Press 5. Backbreaker Finishing Move: Arctic Blast - top-rope Shipwreck Slam - spinebuster somersault legdrop Primary attributes: ICEHAWK: 1. Aerial - can master almost any aerial move after seeing it done once or twice. 2. Technical - has learned several spectacular-looking powerbombs and suplexes, but his size makes them of limited use against anyone other than another cruiserweight. 3. Endurance - years of gymnastics training has left him with the ability to outlast many opponents. FITZGERALD: 1. Endurance - has spent his whole life trying to make himself into someone who can survive anything. 2. Intelligence - you can't survive if you can't think on your feet and improvise. 3. Strength - you have to have the brawn to back up the brains. Tag finisher: The Gales of November - a very well-timed combination of their individual finishers. Fitz hits the Shipwreck Slam, followed an instant later by the Arctic Blast. Appearance: Icehawk is very pale, with almost white-blonde hair that comes down to his shoulders and bright blue eyes. He''s clean-shaven, and it is debatable if he even needs to shave more than once a week. Obviously in fantastic shape, but is built like a gymnast, not a bodybuilder. Comes to the ring wearing a white mask and cape, both decorated with the blue cross of the Finnish flag, but discards both before starting the match. He wrestles in white tights and boots that are decorated with pale blue icicles. The only break in the white-and-blue motif is a tiny set of Olympic rings on his left calf. During interviews, he usually wears a Ajax soccer jersey with Jari Litmanen's name and number on the back. Tall and muscular, but with the build of someone who got his muscles doing manual labor, not by lifting weights, Fitzgerald has a tattoo of a Great Lakes freighter on the upper part of his right arm. Has very short, dark-brown hair and cold grey eyes. His next smile will be the first that most people have ever seen. He wrestles in jeans and workboots. Profile: Matt Keto (Icehawk) grew up in northern Finland, dreaming of being the first Finn to win an Olympic medal in gymnastics. At an early age, it became obvious that his potential was well beyond anything that Finnish gymnastics coaches could handle, so he and his family moved to Chicago, where he entered the camp of famed coach Boris Grunzinsky. Matt had amazing natural talent, and the confidence to believe that he actually could win a gold medal or six. But he soon learned that gymnastics judging is as much about expectations as reality, and while his routines won over the fans, he only had a few second and third- places to show for it. One day, as he was coming into the gym for yet another long day of training, he came across some wrestlers practicing. They were trying to master the Shooting Star Press, and failing miserably. Matt watched from the doorway for a while, but soon his derisive laughter was noticed. When the wrestlers sarcastically invited him to give a try, he hopped to the top rope and did a picture-perfect SSP. Startled, they asked him to try a moonsault, and once he figured out what that was, he did it perfectly as well. Soon, he was wrestling in a small Chicago-based promotion, and learning the art of high-flying from aging Mexican superstar El Tigre. Two years later, Matt is now Icehawk, and has convinced his reluctant tag-team partner that they are ready to take on the IIWF. Which is totally in character for him. Matt firmly believes that, as long as he doesn't have to rely on judges, he can beat every cruiserweight in the world and that he and "Fitz" can beat any tag team in the world. But he still wrestles like he is subconsciously trying to impress a set of judges, which leads him to try some totally insane maneuvers, like a SSP from the top rope onto the floor, or a springboard moonsault into the crowd. Luckily, his amazing body control usually lets him pull these stunts off without too much damage. Matt is the ultimate face, because he always felt that the fans gave him a fair shake during his gymnastics career when the judges would not. He'll delay the beginning of a match for five minutes while he shakes the hands of every fan he can find, and he always goes all out to give them a good show. To that end, he is always looking for spectacular new moves to learn. His love for the fans is also the reason that he will come charging out of the dressing room to help any face that is being outnumbered, even if it is someone that he barely knows, and even if it puts him at a serious disadvantage. As a matter of fact, that's how Cold Spell formed (see below). Michael Perreault was celebrating his sixth birthday in November, 1975 when word came to his home in Rogers City, Michigan that the Edmund Fitzgerald had sunk in Lake Superior, and that all 29 men aboard were presumed dead. Including his father. As Michael grew up, he became more and more convinced that his father had only died because he was too soft to survive, and that whatever happened to him, he would never let his family down. So he devoted his life to being able to survive anything and everything. Friends laughed at his crazy habits of camping in the forests of upper Michigan during February, and of swimming in icy Lake Superior. They stopped laughing when he hiked 15 miles through a blizzard to rescue two of them after they got lost while hunting. One day, he was visiting the Northern Michigan State Fair in Marquette, and came across a wrestling show. After the final match, the champion issued a prize of $250 to anyone who could stay in the ring with him for 10 minutes without being pinned. Michael decided that would be a good test of his survival skills -- and he was right. Within five minutes, he was bleeding profusely, but he kept getting up. Not only did he win the $250, but he had the champ screaming in agony from a bearhug when the bell rang. The next day, to his immense surprise, he was a rookie wrestler in the group, which was based in Chicago. In the years since, under the name Edmund Fitzgerald, Michael has been a success in several small promotions in the Midwest. Although he has picked up a few "wrestling" moves over the years, he still relies on patience, intelligence and his unbelievable endurance to wins matches. Unless it is a total squash, he'll wrestle 20-25 minutes in almost every match, waiting for his opponent to wear himself out and make a mistake. When they do, he'll either slap on a bearhug, or hit them with his Shipwreck Slam. Until Cold Spell formed, Fitz came to the matches alone, wrestled, and left alone. Rumors aside, he does have friends outside the sport, but he knows what a nasty world wrestling is, and considers it a risk to make allies. His motto is "The only person who can stab you in the back is someone that you trusted enough to turn your back on." Tag team profile: Cold Spell formed in an incident that was typical to both men. Fitz was wrestling the MWWF (Midwest Wrestling Federation) champion in a match in Detroit, and was about to win the match with a bearhug when the champ's tag partner knocked him senseless with a caneshot to the back of the head. As both men pounded on him, Icehawk came charging out from the back -- right into a chokeslam by the 330-pound champion. But that bought Fitz enough time to recover, and they were able to clear the ring. While Fitz was trying to clear his head, he suddenly heard Icehawk on the mic, challenging the departing pair to a tag match on the next card. Fitz decided to go along, to keep the kid from getting killed, and they won the match. That probably would have been the end of the team, but later that evening, the promoter came looking for them. The team scheduled to wrestle for the tag belts had no-showed, and they could have the match if they were willing to wrestle twice in one night. Again, before Fitz could react, he saw Icehawk agreeing. They won that match, too. And the rest is history. While they have become quite a fluid team in the ring, they are still total opposites out of it, with Fitz having to abandon his normal cautious neutrality to rescue Icehawk as he charges into another impossible situation to save someone he doesn't know. During interviews, Icehawk does 99% of the talking, both because Fitz is very quiet, and the fact that almost no one could get a word in edgewise when Icehawk gets wound up. The partnership has also made them both better singles wrestlers, as Icehawk has been teaching Fitz some of his(few) ground-based moves, and learning about the skill of waiting out an opponent instead of charging him full bore. [Handler: Dave Hogg (hoggd@oakland.edu)] [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: And finally we have formal introductions to two teams you saw in the ring against each other Wednesday night. Let's first meet the winners of that match, Night Patrol: [SCENE: A techno-mix version of the "Dragnet" theme plays over slow-motion footage as a woman in a business suit leads two men -- a lean caucasian and a massive African-American -- to the ring for a regional league match. Cut to an interrogation room of a police precinct, where the trio now stand behind a desk, with the camera set as if it were a suspect being questioned. The caucasian man wears an I.D. nametag that reads "LT. DAVID KEENE -- HOUSTON POLICE". The African-American man's tag reads "SGT. JACK BLAZER -- HOUSTON POLICE". The nameplate on the desk reads "BRENDA HAWKINGS -- ASSISTANT DISTRICT ATTORNEY"] DK: [in a thick staccato] Listen up, IIWF! the Night Patrol is here to clean a little house! We've put away the roughest and nastiest Houston had to offer, and we figure you punks in this organization are about as tough as they get! BH: Your organization certainly needs a little law and order. Firstly, you have these, these... Alphabet Boys. DK: Exactly. What are people this insane doing out in the open? Thank goodness they're not the Hygiene Boys, or we'd be in real trouble! BH: We'll certainly file charges on you, Abie and Zed. Can your men do anything about the Zodiac Connection, Lieutenant? JB: Isn't that Scorpio dude the guy Dirty Harry blew away in San Francisco? DK: [laughing] An excellent taste in movies, Sergeant! Well, how about it boys; "Do you feel lucky, punks?" [All three laugh] BH: We also have a complaint of vandalism to take care of... DK: Consider it done, Ms. Hawkings! Dark Disciples, you've tarnished a worldwide treasure when you trashed those belts. Vandalism is a serious crime, and you'll do some serious time! BH: We understand you're with one of those cult groups, and we have a special "crackdown" planned for you! Tell them about it Sergeant! JB: We just "crack" your skulls until you go "down"! [all three laugh again] DK: As for you, Joe Petrow, taking the tag belts like that... we appreciate your help and like your style, but vigilantes like you usually find more trouble than they want! It's time for you to return the stolen goods to their rightful place: around our waists! BH: I've also got a message for Serge Annis and Marty Warnett. I don't particularly care for your treatment of my fine sister, Becky LaRue! She has suffered the struggle that all us professional women go through! If any of you IIWF punks accost her again, you can expect me to press charges! DK: [singing, in a childhood taunt] And guess who serves the warrant?! [All three laugh. Fade. The following stats roll on the screen:] Night Patrol ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Origin: Houston, Texas Manager: Assistant District Attorney Brenda Hawkings Theme Music: Techno-version of "Dragnet" TV theme. Orientation: Heels Name: Lt. David Keene Sgt. Jack Blazer Weight: 228 lbs 302 lbs Height: 6'2" 6'7" Favorite moves: 1. superkick 1. scoop power slam 2. frankensteiner 2. back suplex 3. standing drop kick 3. piledriver 4. back brain kick 4. savate kick 5. head scissor takedown. 5. turnbuckle splash. Finisher: Miranda Rights - hot shot Tazer Gun - fist drop from top rope to opponent's chest Attributes: 1. Teamwork 1. Teamwork 2. Aerial 2. Strength 3. Cheating. 3. Brawling Tag Team Finisher: Police Brutality - Blazer mounts top turnbuckle, Keene places opponent on Blazer's shoulders, who then jumps, thereby slamming opponent on canvas. Appearance: Keene is a lean caucasian, brown hair, brown eyes, handsome. Blazer is a large African-American with no hair. Both wear black police uniforms to ring and shades, with Lieutenant's bars for Keene and Sergeant's stripes for Blazer. Both carry nightsticks to the ring. Upon entering the ring, the pants (velcro tearaways) and shirts come off to reveal black trunks with light blue stripes at the sides. Hawkings wear and woman's business suit with matching knee-length skirt and jacket. She is 5'6" and always carries a briefcase (containing pepper spray and legal documents) and wears her hair up. Profile: Former policemen with the Houston P.D., the two are led to the ring by Hawkings. Both Hawkings and Keene threaten jeering fans with use of nightsticks and "possible arrest". Blazer, usually silent, just walks. During matches, the team is not hardcore, but isn't afraid to use the sticks or Brenda's pepper spray to get out of a jam. Team employs sticks after defeating "jobbers" or feuding opponents. Keene is annoying and aggressive, while Blazer is quiet and menacing, playing Darth Vader to Keene's Emperor. But while Darth would turn on the Emperor to save the good guy, Blazer would be the type to grab some donuts and cut the brat's head off. [Handler: John Bratt (producer@brightok.net)] [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: And while they may have come out on the short end of the nightstick Wednesday night, the W & W Express showed some talented moves against Night Patrol. We heard from them earlier, now let's hear from them again: [SCENE: The W & W Express -- Clark "Beach Bum" Watson and "Late Night" Doug Wayne -- are sitting in a stretch limo.] CW: Man, life has been so easy in all these other federations. We've won tag titles after tag titles from these so called champions. It's been too damn easy. We've got our money, our women, and our victims. But there is one thing that we are missing, the IIWF tag team belts. Tell em' Wayne. DW: Ya know something, It is about time for the W & W Express to show all these second-class tag teams how a first-class tag team does business. The premiere tag team in the sport is about to invade the premiere league and there is going to be hell pay. The Express has hit the big time and all the wannabes better get out of the way. [Fade. The following graphics roll on the screen:] The W & W Express ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Orientation: Heel Manager: The Good Doctor Origin: Hollywood, California Theme Music: "Paradise City" by Guns'n'Roses Wrestler: "Late Night" Doug Wayne Clark "Beach Bum" Watson Height: 6'0" 6'4" Weight: 225 lbs 275 lbs Appearance: Long blonde hair, muscular Long brown hair, scruffy build. Looks like Stan Lane individual, looks like from the Midnight Express Hollywood John Tatum Favourite moves: 1. DDT 1. DDT 2. Suplex 2. Piledriver 3. Piledriver 3. Neckbreaker 4. Superkick 4. Superkick 5. Sleeper 5. Camel clutch Finishing move: Flying Legdrop Superplex Primary attributes: 1. Toughness 1. Intelligence 2. Aerial 2. Cheating 3. Teamwork 3. Teamwork Tag Team Finisher: Vegginator - Clark Watson superplexes the opponent then Doug Wayne does a flying legdrop. Profile: Both men have a lot of money and like to flaunt it. Will not think twice about cheating. Has held tag belts in feds such as IWA and PWA. Wrestled in XWC, EIW, and most recently joined EWA. Wants to come to the big time, IIWF. [Handler: Tom Stone (Breed79@aol.com)] ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dan Kauffman H 25 18 5 2 79% (WC) WC Marty Warnett F 28 19 9 0 68% (IC) IC "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 24 19 5 0 79% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 25 20 3 2 84% (1) 1 Mad Dog Watkins H 5 4 1 0 80% (2) 2 Otto Verhoeven H 23 16 6 1 72% (5) 3 Chris Quigley F 17 12 5 0 71% (4) 4 The White Phoenix F 16 11 5 0 69% (3) 5= Lord Byron H 16 11 5 0 69% (6) 5= Steve Kowalski H 13 9 4 0 69% (7) 7 Casey James H 30 19 9 2 67% (8) 8 Subway Psycho F 27 17 8 2 67% (10) 9 Cheshire H 6 4 2 0 67% (9) 10 Billy Shakespeare F 30 19 10 1 65% (11) 11 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 8 5 3 0 63% (12=) 12= Creed N 8 5 3 0 63% (12=) 12= Brody Thunder H 13 8 5 0 62% (14) 14 Tiger Claw H 41 22 17 2 56% (15) 15 Mr. Damage H 24 13 11 0 54% (17) 16 The Sandman F 26 13 13 0 50% (18) 17 Ronnie Paris F 6 3 3 0 50% (23=) 18 Serge Annis N 5 2 2 1 50% (19) 19 Venusian Death Cell H 15 7 8 0 47% (20) 20 The Hangman H 14 5 6 3 46% (21) 21 Stud Stetson H 12 4 6 2 42% (22) 22 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 5 2 3 0 40% (23=) 23= American Patriot F 5 2 3 0 40% (23=) 23= ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Highwayman F 3 3 0 0 100% (27=) 25= Nightwing F 3 3 0 0 100% (27=) 25= "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 3 3 0 0 100% (27=) 25= "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 3 2 1 0 67% (30) 28 Spur H 2 0 2 0 0% (32) 29 Requiem F - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dark Disciples H 7 4 2 1 64% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 13 10 3 0 77% (1) 1 Domination F 7 4 1 2 71% (2) 2 The Armed Forces H 25 17 7 1 70% (3) 3 High Plains Drifters H 27 17 9 1 65% (4) 4 The Arabian Knights H 14 9 5 0 64% (5) 5 The Hangmen H 15 8 5 2 60% (6) 6 The Alphabet Boys F 14 7 5 2 57% (7) 7 The Zodiac Connection F 16 8 8 0 50% (8) 8 Pain Inc. H 15 7 7 1 50% (9) 9 The Players' Club F 10 5 5 0 50% (10) 10 G.W.R. N 8 4 4 0 50% (11) 11 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Harlequins N 2 2 0 0 100% (12) 12 Prophets of Rage H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 13= Night Patrol H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 13= W & W Express H 1 0 1 0 0% (-) 15 Cold Spell F 0 0 0 0 0% (-) 16 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ----------- COMING TUESDAY: "INSIDE THE IIWF" WITH TIM DROSS ----------- ************************************************************************** LM: Be sure to catch up on all the IIWF news and notes on "Inside the IIWF" with your host Tim Dross, coming your way Tuesday night along most of these same stations. Tim and Steve Roberts will call all the action tomorrow night on "IIWF Saturday Night." Becky and I will be back with you next week for more news and interviews right here on "Countdown to Saturday Night." Until then, this is Larry Morton for Becky LaRue saying so long, everyone! [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle as a few fans wave half- heartedly. The elderly woman sticks her face in the lens and screams "I used to date Bob Dole, Mr. Patriot!" The credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+