[Cut to a montage of IIWF action accompanied by hard rock music. The final chord lingers as the Highwayman military presses El Super Gecko. Suddenly, the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - February 7, 1997 ================================================= [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scramble to get on camera. A man waves a "Wouldn't You Like to be a Sychopath Too?" poster. A teenager displays his "Casey and the Blackhearts" t-shirt. And an oddly-dressed woman throws sugar at the camera and screams "Abie, I want to have your baby!" The camera zooms toward Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again everyone and welcome to another exciting instalment of "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm Larry Morton, and I'm joined once again by the lovely Becky LaRue. BL: [pointing at the studio audience} Ain't this group a mess? LM: Why Becky, we have the greatest fans in the world right here in the IIWF. [Big pop from the audience] BL: Still trying to get that Larry Morton Action Figure, aren't you? I'm telling you, it sucked according to the test groups. The reviews were almost as bad as the Larry Morton T-shirt, the Larry Morton biography "Dead Men DO Wear Plaid," and the Larry Morton Bath Sponge. LM: Hey, the sponges would have sold, I just know it. BL: The way the IIWF Marketing Department _soaks_ the fans, you may be right. LM: We're off the topic already. What a week it has been in the IIWF. We have a new World Champion, the return of the Grand Vizier, tempers flaring in both the singles and tag ranks, and a huge show coming up tomorrow night. BL: "Rage in the Cage!" You've got to love a title like that! LM: We'll certainly be taking a closer look at those matches tonight. the lineup for tomorrow's show equals any pay-per-view I can recall -- but it won't be able to match Ring Wars III, coming your way in March! Call your local cable operators today and... BL: Just shut up and get on the Wednesday recap. LM: Before we move on, Tim Dross asked me to show a little footage of something that happened yesterday. I think you'll remember this, Becky. BL: Tim Dross is a bastard! LM: He also found a way to avoid a lawsuit. Take a look: [SCENE: The VDC sits in the IIWF Interview Room with Becky LaRue.] BL: With me again at this time is the Venusian Death Cell. How's it going, Vensy? VDC: Very well thank you, Becks. A court date has been set for the hearing regarding the Tim Dross [he spits out some green viscous fluid] poisoning incident. Within four weeks, his broadcasting career will be over. BL: Ummmm, yeah. But talking about leaving the IIWF, I thought they were going to throw you out after what you did to Mr. Psycho. Fortunately, I... um, _talked_ it over with President Danny and needless to say, I got my way. VDC: Yes, Becks, you did a good job. As if Spreadbury ever stood a chance! [Uneasy pause.] BL: No... erm... but he did fine you $250,000 was it? So I couldn't have done too well. VDC: Yeah, but what's that mean? My contract's worth well over a million and with my extra bonuses, especially my cut from the sales of those "Tickle Me VDC" dolls -- which are only $79.95, so buy one before they sell out, kids -- if I'd dropped that money in the street I wouldn't bend down to pick it up. I hear the same goes for Steve Kowalski. BL: What I can't figure out though is why you did that to Mr Psycho. VDC: He's a VDC "wannabe." He interfered in a couple of my matches, so I thought I'd repay the favor. The difference is, he'll never wrestle again! BL: Hehehe... snort. VDC: I see Domination has brought in this guy called "Perfect" Dani Jarvier. I've heard of him and haven't been too impressed. If he wants me to put him out too, he knows where to come. BL: He sure does. Well, Vens, as ever, it's been a pleasure. [Suddenly, Tim Dross walks into the room. The Cell stands with a burning look in his eye.] TD: Well, hello you two! VDC: Shut it, Dross. I've been advised not to speak to you until the trial's over. TD: But there won't be a trial, will there, Becky? BL: No, Tim, there won't. TD: And why's that, Becky? BL: I'd rather not say. VDC: [stunned, looking at Becky] What's going on here, Becks? BL: Cell, I'd be more than grateful if you'd drop the charges against Mr. Dross. Please...? VDC: Okay... But why? BL: I'll tell you later. TD: No, Becky, tell him now. BL: I don't think... TD: Do you want me to tell him for you? BL: Look, Dross, I'll admit that you've got some information on me that I'm not proud of, but this is neither the time nor the place. Now I'd appreciate it if you'd get the hell out here before I ask the Cell to do something else -- and I'm sure it would bring back old memories! TD: [smirking] Sure, Becky. Sure. VDC: Dross, I feel like ripping your head off. TD: Yes, well _that_ would make a nice lawsuit, wouldn't it? [Dross continues to smirk as he turns and walks away. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow, what does Dross have on you, Becky? BL: Just get on with the next segment. LM: I didn't think you were embarrassed about ANYTHING. BL: Morton... either move along with the show or pay the price. LM: [after a long pause] Okay. ************************************************************************** -------------------- IIWF WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM RECAP ---------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: What a night it was, fans. A sneak attack on Chris Quigley by so-called announcer Kurt Manning, successful debuts for Requiem and Cold Spell, a locker room brawl between friends Rising Sun Revolution and Domination, another shocking win for Majestic Maurice McArthur -- although not without Joe Petrow's assistance -- and what can best be described as a snot-clobberer... BL: I think you mean... ah, never mind. LM: ... between the Venusian Death Cell and Creed that never even made it to the ring. Let's check out all the results from the Wednesday War Room: WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM - FEBRUARY 5, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REQUIEM DEF. NED NORTON COLD SPELL DEF. THE ROTUNDOS CHESHIRE DEF. EL SUPER GECKO G.W.R. DEF. THE BARNACLE BROTHERS MAURICE McARTHUR DEF. RANDY ACORN PROPHETS OF RAGE DEF. THE HANGMEN DOMINATION DEF. ARMED FORCES AMERICAN PATRIOT DEF. LUKE STEELE THE SANDMAN DEF. NIGHTWING NO CONTEST: VENUSIAN DEATH CELL vs. CREED LM: Looking back on that card, I'd have to say the biggest surprise of the night was the return of the Grand Vizier, who declared his intentions to return to managing. BL: What a stroke of genius. Sure, Mr. Mic and Pain, Inc. forced him out as the manager of The Arabian Knights, but he had a plan and he gave G.W.R. a first-hand look. We've got that footage, don't we? LM: Indeed. Let's take you back to Wednesday night and show you what happened: [Footage titles "Wednesday night" rolls. G.W.R. celebrate their victory over The Barnacle Brothers, only to be attacked from behind by Prince Abdul Akmar and Omar of the Arabian Knights. The Prince abuses Loco and Spoiler with brass knuckles, then the Prince and Omar clothesline G.W.R. out of the ring. Suddenly, the lights in the arena dim, and the ring is filled with green smoke. The crowd gives a confused pop, and when the smoke clears, the Grand Vizier stands in the middle of the ring] GV: I bet you all thought that you had seen the last of me... Well, it just shows how wrong you can be! [Laughs] It is true I can no longer manage the Arabian Knights, but nowhere did it say that I couldn't manage the New Arabian Knights! That is right! I am the manager of the New Arabian Knights and I shall lead my Knights to the very top. What has happened here tonight is just a prelude to what is going to happen, so everyone out there beware, for the true Knights have returned and all who stand in our way shall be consumed by the shifting sands... [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: The NEW Arabian Knights? Even _you_ have to admit that it's kind of cheesy, Becky. BL: Hey, it got the Grand Vizier back into the IIWF. LM: Indeed it did, and I met with the Grand Vizier this morning right here in Portland: [SCENE: The lobby of the IIWF towers. Larry Morton stands with the Grand Vizier, manager of the New Arabian Knights.] LM: Welcome back to the IIWF, Grand Vizier. We had all heard rumors of your return, but the manner of your re-appearance was a surprise. GV: Well, Larry, I've always been one for dramatic entrances. And I had to make sure that everybody knew that I had returned. I have already heard the fear in the voices of the other tag teams here in the IIWF, what do you say Mr. Mic? LM: We all thought you had left the IIWF for good when the Arabian Knights lost in the "Manager Leaves Town" match against Pain Inc. GV: To be honest with you, Larry, I thought that I was finished as well. But after a couple of months I decided to carefully check through the contract that I had signed for that fateful match, and what the contract actually said was that if the match was lost, then I could no longer manage the Arabian Knights. Nowhere did it mention that I could not manage another tag team. So I went to see President Spreadbury and we discussed this point and he said he could see no reason for my not returning if I managed another team. Hence, I am now the manager of the _New_ Arabian Knights! LM: What about Mr Kaseem? GV: Ah well, Larry, he was never able to devote the time required to manage a top wrestling team and anyway he has returned to Saudi Arabia... something to do with financial irregularities, I believe. You could tell that the Arabian Knights had been missing my winning influence. I mean who do you think it was who recently masterminded the Knights' victory in the invitational tournament? LM: So what does the future hold for the Arabian... er, _New_ Arabian Knights? I believe that General Kane and G.W.R. were none too impressed with your actions on wednesday night. GV: Do you think that we are even the slightest bit bothered about what they think? They should go back to playing with their model railways. Why, their mere presence offends us, and if they choose to get in our way, we will show them to be the infidel pigs that they truly are. No, we have one or two scores to settle. Then I shall be leading my Knights to the very top for the fans know who the true champions of the IIWF really are! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: You know, it isn't every man who can make a turban look good. LM: Do you think I could pull it off? [Becky looks at him for a moment and begins to lose her composure.] BL: He... hmmmmph... gccck... BWAHAHAHAHA... snort. LM: Yes, well the Knights upset Loco and Spoiler, who undoubtedly will be hunting those sand rats very soon. Our Steve Summer caught up with G.W.R. at the IIWF Coliseum Wednesday night. Let's go to that interview: [SCENE: Backstage on Wednesday night. The camera pans around, and catches G.W.R. and Kane on their way out of the arena. They seem to be having an animated conversation. IIWF broadcast intern Steve Summer approaches the trio.] SS: Excuse me, can we get a word? [Spoiler looks up, seeming slightly irritated, but the expression quickly fades] SPOILER: Yeah. Sure. SS: The Arabian knights . . . SPOILER: Yeah I know. [he leans against a wall, then pauses, gathering his thoughts.] All they did was get our attention. Now, if they want to bring back that wizard fellow... SS: The Grand Vizier... SPOILER: Whatever. If they want to bring him back as their manager, it's their business. Nothing to do with us. However, when they start gate-crashing our time, well then, quite frankly that is something to do with us, and it's something we will deal with. We didn't appreciate it. KANE: From what little I know of the Grand Vizier, I would have thought that this was not part of one of his plans. After all, the man seems to have a modicum of intelligence. SS: What about the fact that the Knights seemed to disappear from the ring? SPOILER: Their first wise move of the night if you ask me. If I were them, I'd keep running. SS: Okay, one final question, the U.S. tag belts... KANE: I think we'll wait until an official announcement is made about them before we start commenting. SS: Thanks. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: And we _will_ be bringing you news about those IIWF U.S. Tag Team belts very soon -- in fact, we're expecting an appearance from IIWF President Dan Spreadbury tomorrow night, live on "Rage in the Cage". He may well have the announcement then. I'm sure there are more than a few tag teams interested in those belts. BL: I could use a belt of Kessler's right about now. LM: Perhaps discussing tomorrow night's lineup will perk you up. It's almost time for "Rage in the Cage!" ************************************************************************** ----------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT "RAGE IN THE CAGE" PREVIEW ------------- ************************************************************************** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH: Zodiac Connection vs. Pain Inc. (handcuffed to the Armed Forces) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Talk about bad blood. The feud between Pain Inc. and the Zodiac Connection has been going ever since Ring Wars II when Taurus and Scorpio shocked Mr.Mic's team. Since then, the teams have met three times, with each winning once. There was also one no contest. BL: But the baddest blood may not be in the ring tomorrow night. NavCom and DefCon will be handcuffed to Mr. Mic and Hades, and Pain Inc. has made a hobby of beating up the Armed Forces lately. After the attack the Forces suffered at the hands of Pain Inc. Wednesday night, the military men are ready for action: [SCENE: The locker room following Wednesday night's show. NavCom and DefCon, the Armed Forces, are in obvious pain. NavCom, still in his wrestling gear, is sitting in a chair holding his back, and DefCon, also sporting his gear, has ice packs on his knee, ankle, and head. He has a small cut above his left eye as well.] DC: Ooooh. That hurts. Mr. Mic, Painbringer... NC: Uh, that's Hellraiser I think. Painbringer was the guy who always complained about IIWF conspiracy. DC: Oh yeah. Hellraiser, Morningstar, time and time again you've run down and interfered in our matches. Time and time again you've screwed the Forces out of a win. Time and time again, you've made sure we go out on stretchers. Pain, Inc... that was the last time that _you_ send _us_ out on stretchers. NC: Saturday Night, in front of all those fans in the IIWF Coliseum, the Zodiacs versus the Pain punks... with an outstanding stipulation: you two have to be handcuffed to us. Now, this will certainly be interesting, Pain, Inc., as you'll be wrestling in a match, with a win or loss on the line, and we'll just be... well, freelance crushers. We'll have chains, chairs, whatever it takes, at our disposal. We'll be able to beat you over the head with anything... and the result? A win for two fine men, Scorpio and Taurus. Mr. Mic, it goes around... and it comes around. It'll come around come Saturday Night. DC: A lot of people lately, one reporter in particular, have been saying that the Armed Forces are washed up; that they can't win anymore. Maybe it's true. Maybe we're not the team we used to be, I don't know. One thing we still _are_, however, is a team of tenacious competitors, and you can bet that if we're not winning matches, it's not due to a lack of _effort_, because we're giving all we got, every time we step into the ring, or every time we strap on the chains... you hear me? NC: Ring Wars III is right around the corner. The US tag titles are making their way into the IIWF. Things here are hot right now, especially for the tag team scene... and we are going to be just a big a part of it as anybody -- High Plains Drifters, Dark Disciples, Pain, Inc., it doesn't matter WHO. We'll be there, at every turn... around every corner. DC: Our fans aren't going to forget about us, and neither should the rest of you teams out there, because we are still top contenders for those IIWF World -- and now even US-- tag team titles. Look out for the Forces in '97. [The Armed Forces, still in obvious pain, give each other five. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * QUICKSTRIKE CHALLENGE MATCH: Joe Petrow vs. Chris Quigley ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Fans have been questioning Chris Quigley during his little losing streak. There has been a lot of interference, but he hasn't looked himself. BL: That's because he's been looking ahead to the match against Dan "Lame Duck" Kauffman at Ring Wars III. And after Petrow pins Quigley's shoulders for a one count tomorrow night, "Quickstrike" won't have anything to worry about. Then it'll be Petrow who gets to beat Kauffman next month. Besides, Quigley is probably too busy worrying about Kurt Manning messing up his hair Wednesday night. LM: But Petrow, who was clubbed with a chair by Medusa last Saturday, may also have his mind on other matters: [SCENE: "Sychosys" Joe Petrow stands in a grey room, with a lot of black tarps hanging down. He is wearing a black leather ensemble, complete with dog collar. He also sports big dark sunglasses, and a big bandage on his head. The interview is filmed in 10 frame-per-second black and white, with the camera moving all over the place, but always keeping at least a slight focus on Petrow, though he is not always looking directly at it, and some funky music like something out of "Kojak" plays in the background.] JP: Well, well, well, they're finally coming out of the woodwork here in the IIWF! We've got the Players Club from one side, the Dan Kauffman Disrespect Tour from the other... even jobber losers like Randy Acorn have a bone to pick with me! And of course, there's the upcoming United States Tag Team tournament, and we [points to himself] are looking forward to becoming the first team in the IIWF to have held both the US and World title belts! But there are only two men on my mind right now... Unique Allah and Medusa Rage! Allah, you see this! [Joe rips the bandage off of his head] 24 stitches! 24 more favors I need to return! And all of my brilliant plans laid to waste by your bumbling incompetence! But I still had all the bases covered until that Amazon freak of yours jumped into the picture. Medusa! I had no idea that you enjoyed hospital food so much! But you two had better remember, Joe Petrow has lost some battles in his life... but he's NEVER lost a war! The war is still on Dirt Dog, and when it's over, you two will be able to eat your hospital food together out of the same straw! [Joe turns to leave] Oh! I almost forgot! The Quickstrike Match! That completely slipped my mind! I wonder how ol' Danny Boy feels about you playing games with his big farewell main event like that! Chris Quigley, you think you can gain my respect in this self-named gimmick match of yours? Well, I suggest you pick up a copy of my new book and read Petrow 3:16 real carefully. Because nobody... [gets up real close to the camera] NOBODY [backs off a bit] makes a fool of Joe Petrow, "brother"... [Petrow walks out of view as the shot fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * CAGE MATCH: Prophets of Rage vs. The Players' Club ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Dynamite and Reyna have been strangely quiet since losing to the Syndicate last Saturday. BL: It's hard to talk when you're licking your wounds. Like my man the "Outlaw" said Wednesday night, The Players' Club ain't part of nothing right now. LM: They'd better be ready to bounce back, because these Prophets of Rage look like they mean business: [SCENE: The Prophets of Rage stand in the IIWF interview area, smiling and arrogant.] SR: Player's Club, you've got to be wondering when this is all going to end, don't you? You've got to be wondering when all this nonsense about the Prophets dogging you is going to stop. What did you ever do to deserve this? What? DR: I'll tell you what it was. You pissed us off. See, you may all think this nonsense started with the GCW tag-titles. It didn't. No, we been looking at you for a long while now and we branded you punks. Players? Hell no. You think you're something special. Ladies love you? Maybe the only ladies who love you get $50 for it, but I don't know nobody who's on your jock. Y'all's just punks. Plain and simple, and we don't like punks in any shape or form. Especially the ones who think they bad like you do. SR: You're just a pale imitation of everything we've ever been. And now it's into the steel cage. You're locked in with the Rage. It's the Age of the Rage now. I promise you, Players. This is it for you here in the IIWF. This is the end. You're through. One and done. DR: This is your end run. Say goodnight. Playtime's over. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * CAGE MATCH: The White Phoenix vs. Deathbringer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: I believe this will be one of the more interesting matches of the evening. The White Phoenix is a changed man since his return and it all seems to point to this Sun Tsi character. BL: Burn, baby, burn! Hehe. LM: But I have to question if even Chow's martial arts abilities can overcome the power of the Deathbringer, a former IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. BL: But apparently neither man wanted to talk about the match. Fear or laziness? You be the judge. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: Dark Disciples vs. Domination ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: This should be another interesting bout. The Disciples are most dangerous in a cage, so this match seems to cater to their attack. However, Domination has taken on a new attitude in the past week -- ever since Mr. Psycho was injured and "Perfect" Dani Jarvier took his spot. BL: Monster and Jarvier haven't been working together long enough to be ready for a match like this. Maybe a month down the road, but the Disciples will eat them for lunch -- maybe literally. Hehe. LM: We'll see. We'll hear from the Disciples and the rest of the Syndicate shortly, but Domination refused our request for an interview. I guess they're training hard. BL: Yeah, right. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * $300,000 PURSE CAGE MATCH: Subway Psycho vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: IIWF officials are adamant that this match will end the feud between the Psycho and Verhoeven and they're willing to put $100,000 on the line to make sure. BL: Ooh, looks like your salary for the next 20 years is spent. LM: Very funny. Each wrestler will also put up $100,000. The Psycho has stated that, should he be victorious, the money will go to programs for the homeless. We'll see in the next clip that Verhoeven also has plans for the cash, should _he_ win. BL: And if they draw, the three hundred grand comes back to the IIWF and Christmas bonuses this year will be sweeeeet. LM: Sigh. We'll hear from the Subway Psycho LIVE in a few minutes, but now let's hear from Otto Verhoeven: [SCENE: A large press conference. The footage is titled "Berlin, earlier this week." On the stage, a gaunt man in his early fifties wearing a three-piece suit is talking to the reporters in German. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven in an expensive looking tuxedo stands behind him. The words "Herr Verhoeven," "IIWF" and "holocaust" can be heard. After a moment the man turns to Verhoeven and opens a metal briefcase which stood by his side. He opens it and shows the contents to reporters: Rows of hundred dollar bills can be seen. Flashbulbs erupt as the gaunt man hands the briefcase to Verhoeven. Fade out. Fade in to Verhoeven and Larry Morton in the IIWF interview area. "Earlier today" is titled across the top right corner of the screen. The Butcher is wearing a black and red track suit. He has a serious expression on his face.] LM: So, Herr Verhoeven, you received the money for the $300,000 cage match earlier this week in Berlin. OV: That's right, Larry. Minister Hartkopf has provided me with the necessary resources to match the Gutter Runner's offer. LM: A German politician supports you in this match? OV: Naturlich, I mean, of course. But you know that money does not mean much to me, so I will donate it to the "Victims of the Holocaust Memorial fund". I cannot spend enough money to make up for the terrible deeds my misled countrymen committed. This is a far better purpose for the purse than waste it on the filth of the American streets. LM: Umm, you first have to WIN the actual match before... OV: Shut up you little worm. I may have had some bad luck in these past weeks, losing to the stinking Psycho and then to the Harlequins. But believe me, I won't let my countrymen down again. Tomorrow, the German juggernaut will prevail. LM: You sure seem to be as determined as always. Do you have any comments about the title change on Saturday? OV: Finally a real wrestler confronted Danny boy, and he proved that the "Flash" could not hold that title without any interference from his friends. Herr James is one of the few Americans I can respect, and the Syndicate is once again on the top of the IIWF. Congratulations, Herr Lau, and I hope the fools who try to bring your extraordinary stable down will fail miserably. You can always count on my assistance. Oh, and it seems as if the Gutter Runner plans to challenge Herr James for the title but after he stepped into the cage with the Butcher, he can forget all title aspirations. He will be just another victim... [Extreme close-up on Verhoeven's eyes] Welcome, victims, welcome to the slaughterhouse! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * CAGE MATCH: Takezo Musashi vs. Tiger Claw ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: The action is sure to be fast and furious when these champions past and present lock up in a steel cage tomorrow night. BL: But it won't be the same for Tiger Claw without Brian Lau at his side, will it? LM: Claw has the abilities to stand on his own and he only wants the chance to prove it. I think he's better off without Brian Lau. And now he has the support of the Subway Psycho. BL: That stinks... literally. LM: Claw will join the Psycho during the LIVE interview coming up shortly, but we can't overlook the importance of this match to the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion Takezo Musashi. BL: If he is going to impress Shinja Chow, Musashi couldn't pick a better opponent. You'd better believe the Phoenix will be watching this one. LM: I'm sure he will, which is all the more reason for Musashi to be ready for action: [SCENE: Takezo Musashi is meditating in a candle-lit chamber. The flickering flames reflect in facets off his silver and blue face paint. After a few moments, he opens his eyes and begins to speak] TM: A new challenge for my Cruiserweight title has arisen for Saturday night. My first ever steel cage match, against Tiger Claw, a veteran of more cage matches than anybody else in the IIWF. Claw, we've clashed briefly in the past, but we've never faced each other one on one, we have never tested ourselves against each other to the full. Claw, I know that you are out to prove something in this match. I know that you have heard the whispering behind your back all your career about how you would be nothing without the Syndicate. It was too much for your pride to stand as a true warrior and you had to break away. You had to know for yourself if you could truly stand alone. Claw, on Saturday night you will have that chance. The Cruiserweight title is only a part of it, what you are really fighting for is respect. You have it all in your grasp, you can regain your former glory with one match. But, unfortunately you must beat me to do so. That, Tiger Claw, may be something you cannot accomplish, though my mind is still distracted by Shinja Chow. It is unclear to me who will emerge triumphant between us, but whatever the result, I know that you will have earned my respect. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: Marty Warnett vs. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: I'm still not sure what to make of what we saw from Marty Warnett Wednesday night. BL: It's perfectly obvious. Marty misses me and can't stand to be away from me for too long. Well, get over it, Walnut! LM: It _is_ clear that Marty has problems right now, which may play to Steve Kowalski's advantage tomorrow night. Not only does Kowalski want the IIWF Intercontinental Championship belt back, but he wants to make Marty pay for last week's "no show:" [SCENE: The screen is black. All that can be heard is "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. An image starts to take focus and Steve "The Fury" Kowalski's voice can be heard.] SK: It has to make ya wonder, really. It makes me wonder. Was ol' Marty just a flash in the pan? Is he usin' this crack addict/hurt inner child [BLEEP] as a excuse? I think so. [The screen flashes and an image of the New Jersey Nightmare hitting a tiger driver on the "Party Animal" The screen flashes again and this time the images of Kowalski is a little clearer.] SK: Marty has gotta be thinkin' the worst is gonna happen. He better be! 'Cause heaven don't want me...and hell's beggin' me to be the bouncer! Brother, I am all that n' boot to the head! There ain't never meaner SOB to walk the earth...but ya know that already. [The image is crystal clear now. Kowalski has his arms folded in front of him, staring intensely with his dark green eyes.] SK: Ya don't walk that aisle this time, I'll come get ya. I'm tired of playin' games, Marty. Come get yer beatin'! Just me, you and and a cage. Yer time is up! The cage, Marty. [The screen image changes, showing the cage door from the inside. It swings shut and the last thing you hear is the Fury.] SK: COLD...HARD...STEEL! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Wow, don't start playing mind games with The New Jersey Nightmare because you're gonna lose. LM: Fortunately, professional wrestling is more _physical_ than mental. Until Kowalski walks out of the IIWF Coliseum with the belt, he hasn't won anything. BL: Twenty-four hours isn't too long to wait. LM: We'll see. Marty seems to preparing himself for the challenge: [SCENE: A shot of Marty Warnett standing in front of a large IIWF Ring Wars III logo.] MW: You know, it seems like everybody and their dog thinks that because I'm experiencing... difficulties at the moment that I'm weak; that I'm vulnerable, that this [points to IC belt] is easily attainable. Knowing human nature, it's so predictable that the vultures circle around carcasses. [Marty stares at the ground, then looks back into the camera.] But I'm not dead. I'm very much alive, and yes, my mind is elsewhere, but my body is here, the belt is here, and if anybody wants to take away the only thing with any meaning in my life at this point in time, you have another thing coming. Creed the 'roid freak, Sandman, he of the dust, Lord Byron, you're all top contenders. And I've yet to hear who I'll meet at Ring Wars III. Believe me, the Rage in the Cage bout will be brutal. If... no, WHEN I survive and win, I'll have proven my durability and desire. Kowalski, you call me a coward, yet each and every day I face up to my fears; do you? [Marty walks away, then returns.] Kauffman, in one of your interviews you mentioned me as one of the wrestlers you'd like to meet before you go. I'm flattered, and honored. I accept your "challenge", and would be proud to step in the ring with you. The last few weeks, days for me have been brutal, and I believe we're coming from the same area. Next Saturday, will you face me in a non-title bout? [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * CAGE MATCH: Dan Kauffman vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: What a main event matchup we have for you tomorrow night. Two former champions... BL: Stress the _former_! LM: ...will meet in what should be a terrific tilt of ring technicians. BL: Any chance the cage will fall in and crush both of them? LM: Probably not, but that may be the only thing we don't see in this match. As Dan Kauffman heads down the home stretch, he's pulling no punches and taking on the best the IIWF has to offer. Dan Kauffman and Billy Shakespeare in a cage -- only on "IIWF Saturday Night!" ************************************************************************** -------- SPECIAL LIVE INTERVIEW: TIGER CLAW & THE SUBWAY PSYCHO -------- ************************************************************************** LM: The world was shocked this past week with the events surrounding the incredible double title match on Saturday. Casey James took the title from Dan Kauffman, then proceeded to abuse the ex-champ in the ring. Who should come to Kauffman's aid but long time enemy of the Syndicate, The Subway Psycho? BL: I can think of at least ten other guys who _should_ have come to the ring. LM: That was a figure of speech, Becky. Anyway, Psycho held his own for some time, only to be distracted by Lau and McQueen and attacked from behind by Casey James, hit over the head with the World Title belt. The People's Champion was on the receiving end of a brutal attack when Tiger Claw ran to the ring. The history between the Psycho and Claw is almost legendary, and many thought that we'd see that old rivalry flare up again, but we saw more evidence of the change in Claw as he actually came to the aid of his old enemy. After dispatching the members of the Syndicate, Claw and Psycho faced each other in the ring. You could feel the electricity in the air. BL: Just like I can smell the cheese in the air right now. LM: Please, Becky, I'm on a roll. The Psycho and Claw put their differences behind them, and shook hands. The crowd went wild to see the alliance between these two warriors take place. Now, folks, we have comments from both men LIVE via satellite. [Cut to a wide shot. The video wall dissolves the IIWF logo and a shot of Tiger Claw standing in a dark area flashes on the screen. Another figure can be seen lurking in the shadows. Cut to split screen, with Larry and Becky on the left and Tiger Claw on the right.] LM: Tiger Claw, There are quite a few questions on everyone's minds. BL: Yeah, like "What the hell are you thinking?" TC: Well, Becky, there is a well known American phrase that I think fits perfectly here... "That is for me to know and you to find out." Given some time, though, I can explain some of my actions. My disposition towards the Syndicate is no secret. I parted ways with them, wanting to have no more to do with Brian Lau. Lau, of course, now wants me to suffer for what he believes to be my insolence. I have heard reports that he wants to send his big ape, Casey James, to try and take care of me. I have no fear, though, since I taught that man everything he knows about unarmed combat. BL: Then what are you complaining about, you idiot? This gives you a chance for the World Title. Remember when you used to strive to be champion? Or have you gone soft? TC: I have not gone soft. There is nothing I would like more than to take that title from around Casey's waist. There are problems, of course. Due to contractual problems, I am still legally managed by Brian Lau. There is also a clause in my contract that no two men managed by Brian Lau may face each other in the ring. Lau had told us in the Syndicate that this clause was put in so that there would be no jealousy within the Syndicate, but I know now that it was included for the situation I now find myself in. I am a man who has turned his back on the Syndicate, and I am a threat to the World title that Casey James holds. Brian could not have me face James, lest I take his prize away. So it would seem that the Syndicate will not feel my wrath. Not so. I have decided that I needed a champion to help me. I thought about my choice for some time, and was left to run through my experiences with other wrestlers in the IIWF. The man I found that I had the most respect for in the ring was none other than the Subway Psycho, the People's Champion. [The Subway Psycho steps forward from the shadows.] SP: First off, Larry and Becky, let me say this: I am probably more surprised by the current arrangement than anyone else. I'm currently in the midst of a heated struggle with Otto Verhoeven. The two of us have tried repeatedly to put each other out of action for months. We've beaten each other with our fists and with chairs, tried to get to each other through our women, and now Otto has attacked my character. This weekend at "Rage in the Cage" it will all come to an end. I'm going to take that $300,000 purse, prove Otto a liar, redeem myself from his slanders, and end this feud once and for all. Which is why it surprises me that I have placed myself in this situation now. For months Otto has been the only one on my mind. I had made a silent pact with Dan Kauffman to watch each other's back. He has changed since then and I'll admit that I have lost a lot of respect for him, first for letting others wear the IIWF belt and then for making a pact with Hardin. I don't exactly know why I went out to save him last Saturday. Maybe I didn't like seeing Kauffman beat any more than I would like to see a dog get beat. Perhaps I thought he had had enough, perhaps I do hold a glimmer of respect for him, but for whatever reason I put myself between him and my old enemies, the Syndicate... and if Casey James needs to be brought down, you've come to the right man. TC: I know better than anyone else in the IIWF how tough this man is. Our battles were nothing less than spectacular. The Psycho is a man whose passions fuel his performance in the ring, making him a formidable adversary. It is this passion that allowed him to best me in the ring on more than one occasion. SP: Ever since Coronation Clash, Tiger Claw has been my number one nemesis. Even through my battles with Hardin and Otto and all the others, somehow I would always find myself facing Claw again. Claw has consistently been my toughest opponent and I can say that I'm relieved that I'll be working with him, not against him. TC: Over the next few weeks, I'm going to train the Subway Psycho to deal with every trick I taught Casey James. I am going to train the Psycho in the ways of the warrior that I learned on the streets of Thailand many years ago. With the combined styles you see before you, The Subway Psycho will be even more dangerous than he was before. Your next champion will be none other than this man, the Subway Psycho. LM: What about the hatred between you two men that we've seen time and time again? TC: That hatred was fueled by Brian Lau. I am a professional. When I meet a man in the ring, I become the battle. It was Lau who brought in the other factors, such as kidnapping Sasha. I wanted only a fair contest without outside interference, which was impossible with the Syndicate at my side. SP: I've always said that I have the utmost respect for Tiger Claw's abilities in the ring. It has always been Brian Lau who I hate. His cheating ways and for what he did to Sasha, that is something for which I can never overlook or forgive. But Claw and I are more similar than it may appear. We were both orphans who became the warriors we are by developing our skills on the streets, merely to survive. TC: It is for that reason that even though we are training together, we will not accompany each other to the ring. I don't want to fall into the same trend as the Syndicate has with their gang mentality. This is not to say that we will not watch each other's backs from behind the scenes. Trust me, we know the dangers from the Syndicate and are on alert at all times. SP: As you know, I am always wary of forming alliances. They have a way of turning back and biting you when you least expect it. But with Claw, I know his motives are genuine and his passion and competitive spirit are second to none. I am a loner by nature, but our common interest, the eventual destruction of the Syndicate, has brought us together. TC: I helped form the Syndicate long ago, and with the help of the Subway Psycho, I will take it apart. The first step is to take the World Title from Lau, which makes Casey James the first target. LM: Well, guys, we want to thank you for your time. We wish you luck with your future endeavors. BL: Not me... I hope Casey beats both your heads in. TC: Thanks Larry, and thank you too, Becky. It's always good to know that you're behind us all the way. [Cut back to a wide shot. The satellite feed dissolves and the IIWF logo reappears on the video wall.] ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: The stars of the IIWF are never at a loss for words, especially with everything taking place leading up to Ring Wars III. We just heard from a former member of the Syndicate... BL: But Brian Lau and his troops sure don't seem to be missing Claw right now. They control the most powerful titles in the IIWF right now. They're on a mountaintop looking down on everyone. LM: Actually, I think they're in the Dojo. Let's take a look: [SCENE: Brian Lau, Don McQueen, Kane, Wulf, and Casey James relax in the lounge of the Dojo. They each sip at various drinks, and converse with each other in a relaxed way. Brian signals that the interview is to start.] BL: Well, well... Here we are again in our training facilities. This time, though, instead of training, we are celebrating the return of three title belts to our possession. The tag titles have been taken back from the Player's club, and the world title has been snatched from the grasp of Dan Kauffman once again. This time, of course, the IIWF recognizes these three men as the rightful holders to those belts. Don, Kane, Wulf, how are things looking on the tag scene? DM: It's all peaches and cream from now on, Brian. The title belts are back where they belong and the Players' Club are on the run. The suits are starting to ship in tag teams from the hick feds, hoping that somebody somewhere can knock the Dark Disciples off their throne. Yeah right! Does anybody seriously expect bums like the W&W Express and Night Patrol to shake us up? KANE: I see that we have been ordained to face Domination once again this Saturday night, this time from the confines of a steel cage. I was particularly upset to find that Mr. Psycho will be unable to attend our little date. Why? Because now we have to waste our time pummeling some skinny college wrestling reject, and there will be less meat to rend from the bone. Domination, you have been our rivals since the day we both hooked up with this organization of weaklings. We saw a bunch of fools worth exploiting and became the champions of the World, we spread our evil stain across the IIWF, we dominated! You just became another bunch of lemmings. "Domination?" A more appropriate moniker for you would be "Submission." DM: What the hell kind of name is Domination anyway? That sounds like the name of some "special interest" porn video. Is that a clue concerning your pre-wrestling history Mistress, Monster and Dani Jarvier? WULF: Heh, heh, there are a lot of new victims in the tag team ranks these days. Some of these bleating sheep have even seen fit to make ill- advised comments about the Dark Disciples. Well Night Patrol, I've never had much use for pigs, always interfering in our business, like that time I was torturing some... DM: [interrupting] Ahem... Save that story for another time Wulf ol' buddy. WULF: [looking puzzled] Whatever... Pig Patrol, while you're sitting on your asses dunking donuts and drinking coffee by the gallon, we're out on the streets running amok to our hearts' discontent. You think vandalizing the tag team belts was a crime? Wait until we conduct a little reverse police brutality! I have no qualms about assaulting a police officer, after all, I have done far worse things... [evil cackle] BL: And Casey, what is on your mind? CJ: I'm on cloud nine. I mean, finally, the world looks upon me as the best in the world. And being part of the Syndicate, I am rewarded for my efforts. Fine food, fine drink, and fine women a plenty are accessible to me. Right now, I'm just happy to have us all sitting back and drinking our beverages, although I don't even want to know what Kane and Wulf are drinking. [The Syndicate laughs] KANE: Well, those dead cockroaches had to go somewhere... WULF: ...and I hate to see all the blood Dan Kauffman spilled go to waste. KANE: Did you remember to rehook 'ol Danny boy's blood transfusion machine back up at the hospital? WULF: Its hard to say, I don't have much of a memory. [Kane and Wulf cackle insanely]. CJ: I know too much now. Anyway, back to business. Kauffman, I told you I'd take your title. I told you to keep your attentions on me the whole time, because when you least expected it, I'd take your belt. Did you listen? Hell, no. You decided that it would be better for you to dig for sympathy over your retirement. You figured that you'd concentrate on Quigley, who you're not even going to face for at least a month. No, you ignored me, and overlooked me, thinking that I wasn't worth your time. Well, Danny Boy, you payed for your lack of vision. I'm sitting here with _my_ name on the belt which is strapped around _my_ waist. All your scheming with that second rate organization called the Players' Club couldn't stop me from tearing you apart. I understand that you got taken to the hospital after what we did to you on Saturday. Do me a favour, huh? Check to see if Joe is still there. That is, of course, if you guys aren't already roommates. BL: I understand that Kauffman is upset at you for taking the title. CJ: I didn't expect any less. Who wouldn't be angry? Of course, he's pointing the blame at the wrong guy. Dan, turn that accusing finger right around until it points at yourself, because _that's_ who caused you to lose the title. You should have listened, kid. I tried to tell you, but you just wouldn't listen. Did you think I'd get the title shot if I couldn't conceivably take it from you? Get real. BL: Speaking of title shots, Tiger Claw has been going to the Championship committee and asking for a title shot... Don't worry, though. That's been taken care of. CJ: Isn't it odd that the teacher now pursues the student? Your time is done, Claw. _I'm_ the foundation of the Syndicate now, and Kane and Wulf are the structure. The three of us all hold titles, but you don't. What does that say? You can hang out with your new friend, The Subway Psycho, and you can scramble around in the sewers with him. I don't care, because neither of you are in my league. BL: I don't know... I still can't believe that Claw deserted us. What is it, Don? Am I doing something wrong to have all these wrestlers turn on me? DM: The same thing happens every time with bums like Claw. You take a kid off the streets and give him a chance to be something special, then as soon as things stop going their way just a little bit, they spit at ya' feet and turn their backs from ya'. Tiger Claw, you're all washed up, you've lost the edge. In the old days you would've been sent to the glue factory already. Brian was generous and let you take it easy in the twilight of your career 'cause he knew you couldn't get in the ring and win anymore. You've been damn stupid and traded in your retirement plan for a world of hurt. Well, nobody accused you of having any brains... BL: Bah... Claw doesn't deserve my guidance anyway. CJ: Claw doesn't deserve the time of day, if you ask me. Him and his pet sewer rat can go and [BLEEP,BLEEP,BLEEP... BLEEP BLEEP] for all I care. Between the two of them, you couldn't piece together a real man if you tried. That's why Sasha's been calling me at night, sneaking out of the tunnels to her man. But that's another story. Anyway, Claw, you will pay for turning on us. We may never be able to face each other in the ring for this belt, but that doesn't mean that I can't come after you outside of the ring. Watch your back, Claw, because to me, there's a big target painted on it. I'm going to punch a hole right through your torso and pull out your spleen, dry it out, and wear it on a chain around my neck. BL: It's a good thing success hasn't dulled your edge, Casey. CJ: Ha... Nothing could dull this edge. But there's one last thing I want to touch upon... I just heard the comments of Chris Quigley on Wednesday night, and I must say I'm fairly amused. It would seem that Quigley suffers from the same thing that Kauffman does, and that's underestimating everyone around him. Quigley, one of these days you're going to learn that it really doesn't help your situation if you trash everyone you come in contact with. You say I'm nothing. Well, Chris, I beat Dan Kauffman, Danny Dynamite and Michael Reyna while my teammates here were distracted by Hardin and Thunder. That's right. I beat THREE guys on my own, and one of those guys was Kauffman. You said Kauffman was a challenge, and I am nothing. Yet I beat Kauffman. Am I seeing a paradox here? Get with it, little man. Finally, I want to thank Pain Inc. and Mr. Mic for their kind words following my victory. It's nice to see someone appreciates the hard work I put in to get this title. Everyone else is either belly aching or talking trash... DM: I don't care who the hell you are in the IIWF, Players Club, J.W. Hardin, Subway Psycho, 'yer all stinkin' yella' dogs. You thought the Syndicate's day was done, you thought that we were crumbling. Well look at us now! We've emerged stronger than ever. There ain't nobody gonna take the World titles from the three biggest badasses in wrestling. CJ: Damn straight. [The Syndicate goes back to quaffing their brews, looking very pleased with themselves. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Hey, didn't the IIWF suits send out a memo about being so long- winded? What, do they make exceptions for champions? Hypocrites! LM: The Syndicate just seem to get whatever they want right now, but that could change if any number of groups chasing them are successful. BL: You mean like Brody Thunder and the dazzlingly cute "Outlaw" J.W. Hardin? I just loooove that man. LM: Uh-huh, guys like that: [SCENE: A smoke filled room in the back of the Tarnished Star Bar in southeast Arizona. The place is filled to capacity with various games of chance and high stakes. Seated at a small round table covered with green felt, playing cards, half-empty whiskey bottles and two piles of cash are two imposing figures. They are J.W. Hardin and Brody Thunder. Having just finished a successful night of poker, the two men count their winnings. They then turn their attention to the camera.] BT: Nuthin' like skinnin' the cat fer some greenbacks, eh Hoss? It was a shame that one poor fella had to lose so badly. Y'know it cost 'im an arm an' a leg. [Hardin picks up a prosthetic arm and wooden leg and puts them on the table.] JWH: Yeah, I reckon this here leg'll burn good on the campfire. It's still damn cold out on the prairie. I ain't quite sure what to do with the arm, though. Hey, mebbe we oughta send it to little Billy Shakes-in-his-boots-peare for spare parts. The boy's gonna need it when you're done with him. Too bad I didn't win a spine for Kauffman. BT: Right you are, my friend. Things are gonna be a little different now. Winnin's what I do best an' it's time to make my mark here in this federation. Line 'em up, Mr. President an' I'll knock 'em down... plain an' simple. It's time the IIWF felt the Thunder... if ya get my meanin'. [Thunder lights up another cigar an' passes a bottle of Kessler's Whiskey to Hardin.] JWH: An' Syndicate, this thing's just gettin' personal 'tween us. Unless them two little calves called the Players' Club decide to stick their noses into our business, it's you boys against us. Life's gonna go on, but remember that there ain't nobody takes care of business like us two hombres. Brian Lau, I put a bullet in my daddy's head. You ain't even kinfolk. BT: He's tellin' ya straight Lau. Don't believe 'im if ya want... s'yer funeral. An' as fer the "Club" Hoss, hey any club that would have us as members, I don't know if I wanna join, heheheh. Guess we'll see what happens this weekend. Speakin' o' that... come Saturday night the Lone Wolf an' the Outlaw will be in attendance. Little Billy Shakespeare is goin' up against the late champion Danny Kauffman? Y'know I really don't care which one o' you flamin' yahoos wins that match cuz sooner or later you'll be facin' the Lone Wolf. Yer lookin' at the future o' the IIWF, boys... like it or not. So Saturday night we'll be watchin' an' then we'll see who the better man is... for now. Enough o' this jawin'. What say we go check out the blackjack table? JWH: We're gonna own this here saloon before the night's over. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: As hot as the Syndicate have been, there is another name that has been on the lips of IIWF superstars. BL: Fergie? LM: Wha--? No! I'm speaking of Creed, who not only is taking on all comers, but seems to be having a falling out of sorts with one Mad Dog Watkins. No one is quite sure about the relationship between Watkins and the Corporation, and neither side seems to want to fill us in. So the "CEO" is going on with business as usual: [SCENE: IIWF cameras have returned to the converted Air Force base, somewhere in the garlic fields of Central California. The heavy bag is at rest and the stacks of free weights lie still as Creed and The CEO Jack Montgomery sit alone, each on a stool in the middle of the wrestling ring. Creed has clearly just completed a workout, the stains from the fallen bodies of large sparring partners visible on the mat. Creed drapes a black towel across his shoulders as The CEO addresses the camera.] CEO: Okay, boys. You want to be part of the game -- we'll set a place for you. VDC... if you want to meet Creed in the ring... if you want to match up with this man...say the word. We're ready to go. But if you have no intention of ever meeting Creed one on one, if you're just looking to cause trouble -- please find someone else with whom to play. Unless you're serious, Death Cell, you're frankly just not good enough for us to spend the energy to deal with you. Marty Warnett... I want you to be very careful here, young man. Whether you know it or not, you and I have a community of interest that would not be served by Creed ripping your head from your shoulders. You know as well as anyone of the singular pressure of being a rookie in the IIWF, and now you have added to that pressure by branding Creed with the taint of steroid use. We'll simply decide to wait for your forthcoming apology, assume that your better judgment was momentarily impaired -- but make no mistake Warnett -- Creed would outperform you on a drug test, an IQ test or a test of wrestling acumen and anytime you think the weight of that gold you're carrying has just gotten too burdensome for you -- Creed will be glad to take it off your hands... and off your waist. [Creed rises, giving a slight waggle of his red left glove and silently begins a series of rapid-fire crunches at the back of the ring.] CEO: And Watkins... let it go. Just let this go. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Another of Watkins'... victims, if you will, is Ronnie Paris. The youngster returned to El Paso last week after Watkins' cowardly attack in the ring. BL: Yeah, like Paris wanting to wrestle Steve Roberts was some brave act. Hell, _I_ could wrestle Steve Roberts. LM: And as much as Steve would like that, it won't happen. Anyway, Paris still has Watkins on his mind, but he'd like to take on the mysterious Spur first. Let's hear from Ronnie Paris: [SCENE: A large blue screen containing the IIWF logo. Ronnie Paris is standing in front of the screen, looking calmer than usual. He notices that the camera is rolling, and begins to speak.] RP: Well, I guess I have an apology to make to all the IIWF fans. In the past few weeks I've been coming out and blathering on about all these big names in the IIWF, the Kowalskis and Watkins of the federation, thinking I was a big shot. Because of one fluky win I pulled out, and even I can't deny that I lucked out against Watkins, I began to think I was the tops... well, I'm still a rookie. I'm a rookie who hasn't broken .500 yet, and all the people I've been challenging have much bigger things to worry about. So, I've refocused, learned my place if you will, and I'm looking at the guy gunning at me. [Short pause.] Spur. Spur made a challenge for a rematch some time ago, and I don't back down from challenges. Ever. So, Spur, if you're still interested, you sound like my kind of opponent. This doesn't mean I won't face guys like Watkins ever again, it just means I'll have to get some more experience before I try. Spur, you're stepping stone number one. Deal with it. [Paris suddenly walks out of the shot without warning. Fade to black, then back to Becky and Larry.] LM: And speaking of rookies, Requiem made a stellar debut Wednesday night against "Nifty" Ned Norton. BL: He plays that weird music, too. The guy is weird. Don't get me wrong, there's good weird and there's bad weird. But he's just... LM: Weird? BL: Yeah. [SCENE: White nothingness. Pure white light blinds the camera. Music begins to play, a mournful tune executed on electric guitar, it echoes loudly all around. After a few moments the camera adjusts to the light, revealing hundreds of thousands of brightly burning white candles, scattered around a great cavern the size of a football pitch. The camera zooms in on the source of the music, the centre of the cavern. Here stands Requiem, playing his night black guitar. After a few moments, he ceases playing and drapes the guitar across his back. He speaks, his whispery voice amplified by the echoes.] REQUIEM: Welcome to my home, the Cathedral of Souls. It is here that I dwell, far from my fellow man, as befitting one who has fallen so far. Tonight, for the first time, I entered a wrestling ring to face a man known as "Nifty" Ned Norton. Norton, you were a worthy opponent and I salute you. But beware, Ned Norton, for in the centre of the squared circle I stared into your soul, and found there the tiny seed of darkness that so many possess. All unknowingly, you were beginning to look from the light into the dark abyss. [Moving to a small candle, one of the many thousands, nearby, Requiem lifts it as the camera zooms in. Engraved in intricate lettering are the words "Ned Norton"] This is your candle, Ned Norton. On my travels I have lit many such candles, one for each soul I have encountered. Some burn brightly to this day, belonging to those who have heeded my warning. Others, belonging to those I could not redeem, I extinguish. It is a sad and painful duty, but a necessary one. Tonight you heard my music, Ned Norton. I hope that you heard the warning within, or I shall be forced to extinguish this candle, and with it the tiny spark of life that is your existence. Know that it would pain me greatly to do so. [Moving along, Requiem passes a whole bank of brightly burning candles. The camera zooms in. Inscribed neatly on all of them are the names of the superstars of IIWF] Recent events have proven to my satisfaction that there exist many in the IIWF whose eyes have turned from the light to stare into the darkness. I issue a challenge to one and all: Come to Requiem, face me in the squared circle and let me peer deeply into your soul. Those who stare fully into the light have nothing to fear, I shall be gentle with you, the flame of life in my cathedral will shine eternal. Those who worship the darkness, however, I shall show no mercy toward. They face a stark choice: redemption or... the Final Lament. [Requiem retrieves his guitar and begins to play. The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned once more plays throughout the cavern, the notes containing a gentle menace. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Weird. Weird. Weird. LM: Well, there's nothing weird about Night Patrol, although they do give police a bad name in my opinion. BL: Worse than pigs? Cops? Fuzz? Johnny Law? Hehe. LM: Whatever you call them, just be sure you put a "sir" on the end of it. BL: Especially if you're talking to that Brenda Hawkings chick. [SCENE: Brenda Hawkings' office, with shelves upon shelves of law books. She and Night Patrol stand in front of Hawkings' desk] DK: You know, we've been looking around the IIWF and have determined that if there's one thing we can't stand, it's teams and wrestlers that don't go anywhere. BH: You know who you are... floating around like driftwood... taking up my valuable time when I could have my men taking care of real business... DK: But there's nothing we can do unless Spreadbury or Owens come to their senses. We look up at the ladder of talent, and being the New Law and Order of the IIWF, the only thing we can do is clean it up starting at the bottom -- GWR, the Harlequins, Pain, Inc., Zodiac Connection -- and keep making busts until we take the belts from whatever punks then have illegal possession of them. BH: You may see my men and think "rookies." But the fact is, the Night Patrol will be making some VERY big waves in just a matter of days. JB: There's no hidin' from the Law, and there's no stoppin' the Night Patrol! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: The Night Patrol may have forgotten about the W & W Express... BL: Who? LM: The W & W Express... the team Night Patrol defeated in their debut. BL: Oh. LM: But you can be sure that the W & W Express haven't forgotten about the Night Patrol: [SCENE: A Hollywood Party with many well known celebrities -- including the W & W Express] CW: Oh, take another picture. Have your people call my people. Hey look it's the IIWF cameras.I guess they want some comments. Hey, Late Night, talk to these losers while I finish my dance with the princess. DW: That royal chick was beggin' Watson for a dance all night. The biggest IIWF fans are in Hollywood and of course their favorite team is the W & W Express. We have been offered movie contracts, TV shows, and countless other projects. They even want us to host the Oscars. We had to tell them to hold back a bit. Our main concern is the IIWF right now and taking care of these punks in the Night Patrol. Tell 'em, Watson. CW: I finally got that damn princess off my back. Ya know, Night Patrol, When you used that nightstick, you made enemies for life. We are going to use you as an example to the rest of the league. DW: So here's the deal. We challenge you to a Scaffold Match at Ring Wars III. Let's see who's bigger and badder. The W & W Express doesn't mess around. Now, get that camera out of my face. You guys weren't invited here. [Wayne and Watson go back to the party as the shot fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 31 20 9 2 68% (WC) WC Marty Warnett F 29 19 10 0 66% (IC) IC "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 24 19 5 0 79% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mad Dog Watkins H 6 5 1 0 83% (1) 1 Deathbringer H 26 20 4 2 81% (2) 2 Dan Kauffman H 26 18 6 2 73% (3) 3 Lord Byron H 17 12 5 0 71% (4) 4 Steve Kowalski H 14 10 4 0 71% (5) 5 Otto Verhoeven H 24 16 7 1 69% (6) 6 The White Phoenix F 16 11 5 0 69% (7) 7 Subway Psycho F 27 17 8 2 67% (8) 8 Chris Quigley F 18 12 6 0 67% (9) 9 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 9 6 3 0 67% (10) 10 Billy Shakespeare F 30 19 10 1 65% (11) 11 Brody Thunder H 14 9 5 0 64% (12) 12 Creed N 8 5 3 0 63% (13) 13= Cheshire H 8 5 3 0 63% (15) 13= Serge Annis N 6 3 2 1 58% (14) 15 Tiger Claw H 42 22 18 2 55% (16) 16 Mr. Damage H 24 13 11 0 54% (17) 17 The Sandman F 27 14 13 0 52% (18) 18 Ronnie Paris F 6 3 3 0 50% (19) 19 Venusian Death Cell H 15 7 8 0 47% (20) 20 The Hangman H 14 5 6 3 46% (21) 21 Stud Stetson H 12 4 6 2 42% (22) 22 American Patriot F 7 3 4 0 43% (24) 23 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 6 2 4 0 33% (23) 24 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Highwayman F 3 3 0 0 100% (25=) 25 Requiem F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 26 Nightwing F 4 3 1 0 75% (25=) 27= "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 4 3 1 0 75% (27) 27= "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 4 2 2 0 50% (28) 29 Spur H 2 0 2 0 0% (29) 30 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dark Disciples H 8 5 2 1 69% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rising Sun Revolution F 14 11 3 0 79% (1) 1 Domination F 8 5 1 2 75% (2) 2 The Armed Forces H 26 17 8 1 67% (3) 3 High Plains Drifters H 27 17 9 1 65% (4) 4 The Arabian Knights H 15 9 6 0 60% (5) 5 The Alphabet Boys F 14 7 5 2 57% (7) 6 The Hangmen H 16 8 6 2 56% (6) 7 G.W.R. N 9 5 4 0 56% (10) 8 The Zodiac Connection F 16 8 8 0 50% (8) 9 Pain Inc. H 15 7 7 1 50% (9) 10 The Players' Club F 11 5 6 0 46% (11) 11 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Harlequins N 3 3 0 0 100% (12) 12 Prophets of Rage H 2 2 0 0 100% (13=) 13 Night Patrol H 1 1 0 0 100% (13=) 14= Cold Spell F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 14= W & W Express H 1 0 1 0 0% (15) 16 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ---------------------- UPCOMING IIWF PROGRAMMING ----------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Fans, we know you'll be with us tomorrow night for what promises to be a great card. Call the IIWF Hotline on Sunday for the latest news and rumors, and don't forget to tune in on Monday for the debut of our new show "IIWF Monday Musings." The IIWF's stars will give you their take on what went down Saturday... in their own inimitable styles. BL: I don't care what the suits say, I ain't hosting another show. LM: No problem there. And be sure to catch up on all the IIWF news and notes every Tuesday on "Inside the IIWF" with your host Tim Dross. Then, Tim and Becky bring you all the action on "IIWF Wednesday War Room." BL: All this as we move toward around-the-clock IIWF programming -- all IIWF all the time! Hehe... snort. LM: If the suits realize we don't have anything on Thursdays, we'll _never_ get a day off. BL: I think one or two of them watch this show, Larry. Thanks a lot for putting that idea in their tiny little heads! LM: Ummm, okay. Well this is the overworked Larry Morton and the overworked Becky LaRue saying thanks for tuning in an have a good night, everyone! [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle as the Alphabet Boys' fan dumps the remainder of her sugar over the head of the balding Sychopath. The credits roll by too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+